Hello, I'm Will Jones.
And I'm Jemima McVitty.
Welcome to the Stupid Pean of Teenagers, the show where Jemima and I discuss on how to be a teenager and whatever else is on in the week.
So for you guys to learn more about teenagers, we will invite a special teenager guest or an adult with a teenager on to see how they are coping.
And hopefully we will be finding out what happens to you, the listener, and all your tales of teenagers.
So grab some popcorn or tuck into bed and enjoy.
Episode 11.
11! Hello everyone but no.
Are you looking up? Are you sure it's 11?
I'm looking up. I'm just sitting there and chatting.
Hello!
Oh no!
Ciao!
Puncture!
And welcome back to the Stupid Pean of Teenagers podcast episode, the season 2 episode 11.
Hello everyone.
Hello, we had a bit of a blank about what episode it was but you know, you know it's 11 by now because we sent it out about 7 times.
Yes, we're here.
Episode 11. We're back. What day is it?
Friday. Now, is this today's episode world?
Yes, it is.
Yes, this is coming up the day we're recording it because we are pre-recording so much, it's getting a bit.
It's getting a bit manic. We've got a hell of a lot to do when we got the schedule ended today.
When we started that 8th, and it's currently, if anyone wants a time update, it's currently 6.52 when we're starting recording this.
And we're doing with the 8th and we have three podcasts to record.
Quite close.
So, I don't suppose to have a special guest and there's been a lot of technical difficulties.
We'll keep you updated with the guest.
Yeah.
Instagram, what are you doing there?
Instagram?
Okay, hello everyone now.
What should you be doing? You know this by now, Maca Packer and Will's microphone also knows this.
What you need to be doing is you need to be following and liking the Instagram.
Just ignore him.
Ask them.
They underscore, super underscore, opinion underscore, of underscore, teenagers.
Thank you.
Sorry everyone. Check my Instagram.
Check your Instagram.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, okay.
I'm going to see if you can see Parenting Howl's recent post.
Getting it up.
Wait for it buddy.
On our Instagram, we like to support all the other podcasts as well.
So, Parenting Howl, obviously they're a lot bigger than us, but we do love Parenting Howl, don't we?
One of our favourites.
What? Do you see it?
Will he come? Will he?
Will he come?
That's the transcript. Sorry everyone.
On there.
I like him that well.
Yeah, give it a juicy like.
Right. How's it going?
It's been weeks since I was caught.
How's it going?
It's going good.
I had a sleepover with my friend.
It's for us.
Right.
Sorry, I just...
...on betrayal.
Oh, Macapac is just falling down now.
I mean, this is just all going wrong.
You turned to a betrayal. What's that supposed to mean?
Hang on a minute. Sorry.
I'll tell you in a minute. I've just spat all over my...
...the iPad.
Sorry everyone. He's really not with it today.
Don't know where else the water went down.
Just warm water on the...
Okay, deal with it after this recording.
What if I blow up?
Okay, I see. I mean, it's not the worst thing that can happen.
Betrayal. I mean, I understand.
Watch your back.
Okay, I'll watch my back.
Hello.
So, yeah, I did that.
We worked swimming this morning, which was nice.
It's good.
Swimming?
Sure. Yeah, swimming.
I was after that.
What am I?
I was bowling yesterday.
I actually won by one point this time.
How many points?
How many points what? How many points did I get?
Yeah, yeah.
81.
Beauty!
What's the best you've got, then, Will?
The best I got are hundreds.
Hell yeah.
No, I remember the last time.
Yeah, I do remember. Will's a god at bowling.
Thank you.
So, yeah, that was good. I'm going away in two days,
so tomorrow is going to be a lot of packing.
And to be honest, this evening is stressing me out.
Will can tell you, he can vouch that before we recorded this,
I was getting a bit of stress dialed, wasn't I Will?
You were, oh my gosh, and a lot to plan.
We were planning for pre-recording our guest episode
for next week, which is obviously the chase again.
But then we didn't do it because there were technical issues.
And then we were stressing about being not fitting into our time scale
with all of these things, and she was just going all...
blah blah blah.
So, yeah, I mean, Will had been trying to record for the past hour,
but there's been some technical difficulties,
and now we're here, and I feel like I can't breathe
because it's been too much stress.
But it's fine. Okay? Thank you to everyone.
My week, other than that, it's going great.
I'm loving the holidays. I mean, how could you not love the holidays?
It's great. And obviously, we're recording three episodes
for the poll a week now, which is just great.
So, yeah.
Will, how's your week, Will?
My week.
Yeah.
And then what happened on Tuesday night?
Oh!
Do you know what went down on Tuesday night?
No.
No?
Do I?
I won't say that. I won't say that. No, no.
Maybe you do.
I won't say that.
We also released...
No, no, I won't say that.
And then, actually, I went swimming to this, like,
swimming place.
The swimming place.
I don't want to say the way we went swimming,
but it was this big place of, like, you know where I'm on.
I think so.
Yeah. You sure?
I'm pretty sure.
It was really nice. It was nice and hot.
There was a big wave machine thing.
Which he'd be drowned in if she went too deep.
She didn't die, but...
Oh, I didn't.
That's what her sister by the way, everyone.
Yeah. It was quite fun, enjoyable.
Then I came home and enjoyed my own pleasure.
Of, um...
Doing something. No, no. That sounds so...
That sounds inappropriate.
I was just enjoying something.
I wouldn't really ever reveal it.
And then we'll be here today and I'll play some golf.
And, yeah, it was quite disappointing.
It was kind of it, really.
Actually, oh, no. You guys have watched the episode that I've pre-recorded.
I need to have my rematch.
Remember this for the next episode.
I need to have my rematch against Macapaca in the top thumbs card game.
He is very...
He's very good.
Yeah.
I'll ask him to send me some stuff, probably.
The camera roll scroll comes first, as usual.
The people in the middle of the game will roll.
Camera roll...
Oh, did I just call her?
Yes, you already know. I was talking about... look at it.
What?
No. Put your microphone closer to your mouth.
It's right here?
No, but the audio is just...
What? What's wrong with the audio?
It's fine now. You're just... you're faking that way, so let's go quiet.
Well, yeah, this is really sensitive, this bloody thing.
You can still hear me now.
Yeah.
Well, okay.
Check it.
Remember what happened last episode of the Ann-Ren-Blim-In?
When I muted you and then you couldn't hear the action, you know that?
Yeah, I keep it on the edge of that.
Oh, I don't know.
I had to go well after that, so, again, I mean, we're always arguing these days.
I mean, we always argue anyway.
You know, the healthy relationship, I mean.
Okay, right. Have you nearly got your thingy done?
I do.
Okay, so... it's not interesting.
I'm just gonna redo it because it's just not interesting to anyone.
It's interesting to me, but not interesting to anyone else,
because this part of the series will...
True, they have anything to the whole...
Can they come...
Mine's quite cool, actually.
Okay, can you go with yours?
Oh, my God. Proud of it.
Can you say that?
No.
It's too bright.
Look a little worse in the blue thing.
Oh, yeah? I can't see worse in the blue thing. I can only see who it is.
Oh, my God. No, no, no, no.
But, you could see it for a minute. That it disappeared. There you go.
Oh, God.
Yeah, that's evidence. You never know I could win them back.
Huh?
Yeah, I guess.
Anyway, mine is... you know Subway Surfers?
Yes.
It is the Talking Tom version of that.
Anyone that can play this.
Talking Tom and Friends or Talking Tom Runner, I thought it was cool,
but it was so fun.
Yeah, I'm sure.
It was really good.
I'll show mine, but that just reminded me of a story that I'm gonna tell afterwards.
But mine is just a picture of hair. It's a bit of inspiration.
Hair cut.
It was just a picture of hair, yeah.
I'm sorry, Will.
Wake up or the audience say.
I'm sorry, my camera always are very interesting.
For all the sake of that.
Right, now the story.
Oh, excellent.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
On the way back from our PE lessons, Will used to play that game.
He'd sit in the minibuses and he'd be playing that game.
He'd be sitting in his chair playing it.
One particular time, the way our minibuses are set up is there's like two seats
and then there's a one seat with a row in the middle.
And Will was sitting on a one seat.
And I was sitting on the two seats. I don't know who I was next to, but there was someone.
And then me, so me and Will were like next to each other, but there was a row in between us.
And Will was playing this game, but it's another seatbelt on.
I don't know why. Why did you give your seatbelt on, Will?
Why did you not put a seatbelt on?
I don't know what to do with that.
See you do.
We went in.
We went in for a bump and you flew and you fell in.
Do you remember you fell into the gap?
It was a game.
And then there was game spags like all the way.
There was Ed, people put their game spags along, so you'd spin it to them
and you couldn't get up when the game seat was parked.
So they looked back and they would have seen you.
And you had your phone in your hand, which is also against score.
And Will was like, get me up to where I get my lefty, it's wringing around.
And I was like, try to pull over that.
And I pulled you up and pushed you back into your seat.
I remember this guy taking it in there.
And the teacher was like, what is all the conruption back there?
Because we'll keep it down, please, because he was squealing.
Yeah, I do remember that quite faintly.
Well, I could leave and forget that to be on inside.
That's one of the best moments of my life.
It's the screaming.
Crow.
That's kind of un-depowering me.
Okay, well, we're all always saddening.
Oh, okay, well.
Well, I'll finish it.
Our first topic today is teaching.
Jemila is something, well, me teaching Jemila something.
And while Jemila shows this,
lame girls, we don't like it.
I like it.
So teaching Jemila was a Spider-Man law.
So hopefully Mr. Lad can join in and take a listen to this episode.
And they've got a lot.
But Jemila, I want to teach you some of the Spider-Man law.
Right.
Who is Spider-Man?
So it's all, you know, it's a simple question.
He's like, he's like a superhero.
And he's like, he's like, he's the actual guy is like Peter Parker.
Is that him? Yeah.
And he's Spider-Man at night.
Is it or just whenever, right?
Whenever he needs to be.
I'm sorry, Spider-Man at night.
You have to laugh.
How many parts have we done?
How many we done?
I think we did seven.
Seven porn women plots.
And then the ones with Dr. Strange before that.
Okay, not at night.
Not at night.
Anytime.
Anyway, let's move on.
You just put a little tear in my eye there.
Okay, so Pete Parker, yes.
And then what happens just after he's turned into Spider-Man?
He loses someone very close to him.
Oh, then I read.
Is his dad or mum or someone?
Well, they just live with his aunt or something.
Oh, yeah, yes, they live with their aunt and me.
Yeah.
What about his uncle?
What happened to him?
Was his dad eight years ago?
Because he got killed.
His parents, yes, his uncle Ben got shot.
He shot him straight in the stomach.
Okay.
Well, it depends what variation.
He got shot and that was quite sad.
And then that motivated him to...
What did Uncle Ben say to Spider-Man?
Which made him have all of this power and not do anything bad with it.
State money or anything.
Be a good guy.
Do you think I'm going to know that?
I'll say it.
Your great power comes great responsibility.
Responsibility.
I don't know it though.
It gives a good line, doesn't it?
Yeah.
I was just thinking, all of those villains, they didn't have Uncle Ben say that to them.
They were like, great power means great money, great anger to take what I want.
But Spider-Man had Uncle Ben.
If Uncle Ben wasn't there, Spider-Man could be called Spider-Menace.
So really, Uncle Ben is the true hero of the story.
Well done.
We've got a version.
I don't know this.
Some villains, some basic, ordinary villains.
You're pretty good at this.
Yeah, I am good at this.
Will tells me a lot about the villains.
So you've got Green Goblin.
Right.
You've got Electro.
You've got Frawler.
Is he one?
Yeah, Frawler's one.
Yeah.
Black Cat.
Villains.
Yeah, yeah, we're playing, yeah.
Lizard.
Yeah, well done.
Oh, this is testing me now.
I'm pleased to tell me this in computer science in year eight.
We did quizzes online.
So I'm trying to think back to that.
I've already said villains, babe.
I have an eye for Black Cat.
Oh, please.
Give me.
I'm not really sure.
I can't think of many others.
Who's that one?
I've got the horn.
It's a rhino.
Sex so far.
Sex?
Still in counting?
I'm getting there.
Don't do it for the listeners.
Hurry it up.
Come on.
I don't know anymore.
I'll name a few.
Just get me the ten.
Goblin.
You've never heard of Goblin.
Yeah, you have.
I have.
I didn't talk to him before.
I'm going to be an ex.
He's like a sly.
Sly.
Shocker.
Oh, yeah.
Plastic shocker.
Doc.
Doctor.
He's really relevant.
Yeah.
And scorpion.
I never heard of him.
Santa.
Some we've never done in parts before.
Like Doc Ock or Scorpion.
Okay.
So does she finally on the Spider-Man ball?
Who is the, let's say, two, let's do the two,
of Spider-Man's biggest love interests.
The two main ones.
That everyone knows about.
Mary Jane Watson.
I'm a joke.
Well done.
Yeah.
My favorite.
And, um, I, well, I guess we wouldn't count that one really, would we?
I don't think she's the main one.
Is it Liz?
Is she the main one?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Is it Not Wild Like Man?
Gwen?
She's not really one, though, is she?
Or is it Glenn?
It is Glenn.
It's Glenn.
She's right out there.
Oh, you probably can't see her, but I've got a lot of...
No, I can't, but...
Oh, no, I can't see her.
I can see her shoulder.
Can you?
Yeah.
There's a tan.
Well, well, it's a Swarman, I'll wear it off.
And she's dead.
She's dead.
Green Goblin killed her.
And he's like,
I'll kill you because you killed my woman.
And then, yeah, she kind of ends up her.
That's insane.
I want to test you some more after,
but let's stop it.
Little mini topic.
What do four things to do in a traffic jam?
Well, I don't think we're actually going to do this one.
Yeah, I had to put it down.
Right, things to do in a traffic jam now.
I'll be talking like, are you on your own in the car?
Or do you have other people with you?
On your own, that's it.
On your own, oh, that's hard.
You could like, obviously look out the window,
enjoy the scenery,
but if you're on the motorway,
then there's not much scenery to look at.
So you obviously could get on the radio,
have a little jam session in your car,
like, whoa, whoa, yeah, whoa, whoa.
Like a little, little session.
But don't go on your phone because that's illegal,
so nobody's doing that.
So no, no, no.
You can listen to the stupid opinion of teenagers podcast.
That's a good one.
I was going to say that.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Um, what else can you do?
You can, I mean, obviously you can look into other people's cars,
but it's a bit of a noose, isn't it?
You could see what they're getting up to.
Yeah, sure.
What's Jerry doing over there?
Oh, he's, oh, Jerry, oh, he's texting his wife, you know?
Tough time.
Poor Jerry.
Anyway, all you could obviously just,
just relax, just think, like, reflect on yourself,
do a little will, do a bit of meditation.
He doesn't do it anymore though, do on.
Um, just sit there, breathe, think, like,
make a plan of what you're going to do when you get out of this traffic jam.
Think, oh, if you're in the work, think about what you've got to do at work,
like, think about what you're going to do at home.
Think about what you're going to do if you're going to get the washing
or just relax, get some Netflix or, you know, just, yeah, chill.
That's my options.
What would you do, will?
Will, will.
Many things, I won't say most of them because, yeah, yeah.
Uh, but, probably, I mean, hopefully I have my teddies in the car with me
so I could do a bit of, uh, trading card games, like,
ah, I'll give you Pikachu for Shazard.
No, I want Zollagard.
That's not a poker one.
Just, uh, Ziggy Puff for Shazard.
And then they're like, ah, yes.
Do you usually take your teddies in the car with you?
No, no, no, no, but let's just say I just have them for some weird reason.
I'm probably out watching a movie with Dylan, maybe in the back of the car.
You're alone in the car?
No, but the dinners are relevant, so here be that.
Oh, yeah.
So, ha ha ha, joking Dylan.
And then probably, I'll put up a rest podcast, probably, um, not this podcast,
I mean, because sometimes bores me to death.
No, joking, this podcast will parent you, you know.
That'll be my lovely little traffic, traffic time thing.
Although it'll be more, but I won't get into that.
That's quite weird.
Um, next thing, guess to your future kids or partner.
That's what they look like.
Right.
Their personality will be.
So, you know, so I'm just taking you in, you know.
Oh, I'm taking you in as well, I was practically, I would do this every day, basically.
I know what you look like right now, but.
Okay, okay, I know what I'm going to say about the kid.
The partner, kind of.
I know your type, so I got this.
Jove.
Never changing.
Well, never, oh, ever changing.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Ever.
Yeah, I'd say.
You're right.
Um, well, uh, who wants to go first?
Okay, I'll tell you what your kid will look like, then you do my kid and then we'll do partner's, okay?
Right, your kid, he's going to be relatively tall.
I'm talking about the male first, not the female after.
He's going to be relatively tall, because you're quite tall, so quite tall.
Um, he's going to have hair a bit like yours, but it's going to be a bit more flat.
Like, well, his hair poofs up a bit.
His hair is going to poof more like out, just going to be like a bit more, yeah, a bit more flat like that.
Yeah, that's what I'm imagining.
Like, look down there.
And will, will that kind of cool guy who let his kid do everything, he's going to have like a gold streak,
like a gold streak going down his hair, looking like a rock star.
Um, but he's going to be wearing like, he's going to be wearing either.
We're going to go for that. I'm just going to be wearing like a tweed suit, stressing around, thinking he owns the place.
Or he'd wear like, like, he'd wear like, what are they called, you know?
Shorts, that's what they're called.
Shorts, like white shorts.
What's that?
A football top, obviously. Will's going to get his kids into football.
I mean, if he didn't, it'll be Chelsea top probably.
Um, and he's going to, and he's going to have him,
he's going to have a little backpack on one sleeve with all his, all his water and stuff in it.
That's what I'm imagining Will's boy looking like.
Girl, she'd be shorter.
You wouldn't be as tall as a girl.
No, I don't see it. She's quite short as girl.
She has like braids. She's braids.
Imagine that.
Um, she's wearing a nice little frilly dress.
And Will's like, Will loves his daughter to pieces. I can just see it.
He's got her these like really expensive bags for her birthday.
So she's holding a really expensive bag and some gold high heels.
And she's just like, she's holding her dad's hand.
I mean, yeah, she's holding Will's hand.
He'd feel great for her.
She's a spoiled kid.
Yeah.
I can see that happening, to be honest.
My whole money, I'll be bankrupt by the end of it.
So worth it for the love.
Um, your kid's right.
Yeah, I'll be the moment to go with the girl to start off with.
She's gonna be short.
I just see the girl being short.
Okay.
Really, like not really short, but short.
Little brown hair.
Like, what are these things that go around?
A bob.
Yeah, and she's never a little bob.
She's gonna have glasses on.
He's like blue glasses.
She's only a bit weird at times, but she's gonna be...
Yeah, don't think she's gonna be the bee's knees at school, but she isn't.
She's gonna be having it around with the...
Actually, no, no, no.
I think it's podcast, actually.
You know who I want about.
Yeah, I do know who you're gonna be around.
Um, there she's going around with that from people.
Little dry, spotty dress.
A few stains on it.
You don't creep her out because she's really messing.
She likes to go out in the wilderness, even though she's not that brave and confident at school she is at home.
Okay.
Your son is gonna be a true...
A tall lad.
This is gonna be like the opposite.
Okay.
Brintle, he's gonna be a jock at school, so he's gonna be good at...
Not all sports, actually.
He's gonna be...
He's gonna be good at the playground, football and stuff like that.
He's not gonna be good at hockey.
Yeah, and cricket and rugby.
Get that from me.
I'm crap at hockey.
Cricket and rugby.
And he's just gonna be an absolute beast. He's gonna be the man to go for.
Don't ask what he does, he may have a little...
Oh, good.
I think he knows the whole about that.
Don't worry, the little girl doesn't.
The girl doesn't.
Okay.
The little girl sounds great.
Amazing.
Yeah? Okay, that was interesting.
We're kind of.
Okay.
Right.
Oh, I've got a thing.
Back to... Right.
I can go down to two things with this.
Oh, wow, there's one more.
Right, we've got to fix up the colour hair, because it's not going to be blonde.
They're not going to be blonde.
They are not going to be blonde.
Yep.
Oh, they could be brunette, but I'm gonna go with ginger.
They're ginger, okay?
They're very...
What a...
Wow, what a hard guess that was.
They're very, very long wavy ginger hair.
They're shorter than will, but they're not too short.
They're a business woman.
They're very into their business, wearing red high heels.
And like a...
Like a...
That's funny.
She's wearing a dress, quite a tight dress actually.
It's quite tight.
Um...
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
This is what I'm imagining.
And, um, she's very caring towards her children.
Very, very good to her husband.
Gets a bit annoyed when Will decides to go out with the lads instead of staying home with her.
It's so...
But she loves him a lot.
They have a great time together.
They love going to the cinema together.
I can see you love going to the cinema with her.
Yeah, yeah, you do.
And he takes her fishing on a boat.
Just throwing it at me.
No, let's do it.
They go on a romantic fishing trip.
Um, in which she catches way more fish than him, because Will's not very good at fishing.
And they love their kids, and they're a really happy couple.
And they die together, and it's really happy.
No, no problems in the relationship.
That's all I can say.
Wow.
What a...
Wow, okay.
Um, you...
I had said different versions.
I had one that...
Well, three versions.
I had one that looked like your brother, for some reason.
What?
Okay.
A bit with a beard.
God, no, I'm not a beard.
I'm mad.
Another one, who's a quite...
But then this is the one I'm going with.
Okay.
It's quite nervous.
Okay.
So, I'm going for like a whole life story.
He's quite blondy, brown-ish.
He's blondy brown-ish, you know what I mean?
Mousy brown.
Okay, yeah, whatever you just said.
Mousy brown.
Uh, Ian?
Uh, not, not, uh, he's a bit of a stump.
I think that's what you call it.
Not freshly trimmed, a bit of beard.
Not like a thick beard.
He...
I don't know, he's a workman.
Okay, he's a builder workman.
He works on the old building site.
What do you think right now?
What's wrong with the builder?
They're all nice.
No, no, nothing's wrong with the builder.
Right.
He's very caring to the kids, which is the most important thing.
Good, good, good, yeah.
Uh, you don't have too many problems marriage, marriage-wise.
Oh, God, just a minute.
Not too many.
Sometimes, you had a few big bickers and at one point you did ask him to leave the house
and he went out, he went out and had a drink and then he, he, uh, what was it, he went
out and slept with a mate and then he came back the next day, apologised for everything you all made up as a family.
Aww.
He pays the bills, very nicely, you live in a nice house.
You have no financial problems, too much.
Sometimes you're like, okay, kids, we can't buy this today because money and everything.
But you're doing well, perfect.
You do, because he won like a little bet with his friends.
You have like this really nice, um, Porsche.
Oh, a Porsche.
Yeah.
So, that's my little story.
Oh, thanks for that, that's probably a tip to my eye, actually.
We'll have to listen to this back in many years to come and see if we were right.
Maybe.
Yeah, we've got, isn't it?
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, that is definitely all we got.
So, well, thank you guys for listening.
This has been a stressful day for us, so have a bit of sympathy for us and our troubles.
Keep following the Instagram, keep up to date with our lives watching these episodes.
Thank you so much, everyone.
I guess we've got to say good night, goodbye, good evening, good morning.
That's all.
Bye.