Hello!
Hola!
Ciao!
Bonjour!
And welcome back to the Stupid Opinion of Teenagers podcast, series 2, episode 3.
That's all I know.
Anyway, welcome back.
Tuesday.
Wow.
I'm fully thrilled.
Yeah, it feels ages ago.
It feels...
Yeah, but we're here.
It's Friday.
We're bringing it.
This podcast, you've got a lot.
If you look to the Instagram, you know that we're going to tell some embarrassing moments.
Embarrassing moments time.
Anyway, to start it off, I want to just tell you about what my friend Will Sake, they played
football.
It was a real cheap, easy football match.
You're five or something, drop it.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
I already know there was this...
Well, what?
Sorry.
What was that?
There was this man.
This man?
I don't know where this is going, but you laughing is making me laugh.
Okay, a man, yes.
He had a little white, what do you call them?
T-tank top.
Tank top vest, yeah.
And that sort of stuff.
And they were like, rubby stains on them sweat patches.
It was just mad.
It was quite a big chin, beard, not freshly, not well trimmed.
And then it was no one's parent.
He just came along and watched the football for no reason.
I can't bring that up.
It made me laugh.
There was a man watching some kids play football.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Well, I thought we started off with that.
How should we go?
How's it going?
My week?
Well, to be honest, I'm going to be very honest here.
Not great, not great.
Because I am very achy.
We don't know what's wrong.
I have blood tests on the way, no results.
It's an ongoing process.
But I had a play rehearsal last night.
I was killing myself because I was hurting so much.
Had to stay till six.
I was sitting there.
It was long.
I was tired.
I wanted to go home and I was hurting.
And then I messed up one of the hardest lines.
I messed up and that was the final cherry on the cake.
I just lost it.
I was just like, oh my actual gosh, there's loads of people watching.
I was hurting.
I felt like I was about to die.
All the pressure on me.
Everyone, all eyes on me.
My heart is signing the entire thing.
It's a massive paragraph.
Have to say in under one minute.
Completely lost it.
And you know what Mr. Pillow said?
He said, Jemima, just skip it.
Now that, that was a knock to the system.
The show is on Monday.
We've got a big rehearsal tomorrow, all day.
Tech rehearsal.
And if I mess up tomorrow, I don't know, my mental state is going to be in an absolute,
it's going to be shambles for the show.
So after this podcast, what I do, I'm going to go over that paragraph for the rest of
my life.
I'm not going to put that script down till I have it engraved in my mouth.
I didn't even think about what I'm saying.
Okay.
Yeah.
Because I don't usually stress about lines.
If you know me, I'm usually very chill about shows.
I find learning lines very easy, but this.
No, I will.
No, no, no.
I'm stressing out.
But yeah.
So, so that's my week.
Tastily and utterly stressed.
The show was on Monday and we had a rehearsal yesterday and I just, no, I just completely
messed it up.
Completely.
It was so embarrassing.
Yeah, so yeah, keep going great.
How's your week, Will?
Oh, well.
My week's never, ever interesting.
You've got a better week than me.
All the time.
Mine's so dull.
I've seen Dung Beetles have a better time.
I mean, this is a dry, dry barren land of my life.
I mean, what's happened?
Oh, it's nothing.
I did some management in football today.
What are you going to do?
What about, oh, we won?
Ah, one nil.
We won a knee.
Oh, well, that ain't.
I mean, that wasn't even, it was, for me, exciting.
Oh, this was sick.
Doesn't he play left back?
He does.
He plays right winger, actually.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
In physics today, we made rockets.
We had a little booster and we boosted them up.
Me and Piz, we designed ours to the tech, to the pure beauty.
When we made it, oh my lord, I cannot believe how badly it turned out.
It absolutely stank.
Well, I thought I could do this.
The Piv took charge and oh my god, I was so bad at it.
When he was putting the tape on, I was moving my fingers and I was like, oh my god, I can't
hold it properly.
I just had to press down and oh, you put it into the booster.
So it was like, oh.
Oh, well.
And then when we launched it, I stood all the way back to the end of the field.
You know, yeah.
And it went, I want to say a meter and a bit.
So we kind of under, underfused.
Yeah, and I think Arthur's one of the worst.
Isn't he meant to be like really good at physics though?
And he's like really technical, good at DT.
He should like.
True.
But then he did.
You do need a teammate for some of these things.
It's okay, well, it's fine.
Next time you'll bring it.
Now, if we ever see this again, you are going to be the man, the man to beat.
Yeah, you are.
Come on, Will.
Yes.
Okay.
That's giving me some positivity to keep going on in life.
The blues.
Well, I was having a conversation with someone the other day and they were talking about
how, do you know those quotes?
How when you do something wrong and you put all that behind us and look for the future.
Yeah.
So for example, you're telling someone they've done something wrong.
Let's say they've stolen an apple from the local Liddles.
Yes.
And then one of these perfect people with their body surrounding them.
They say, oh, don't worry.
It's broken.
Blah, blah, blah.
Put it in the past now.
Better you.
Well, this is what I was debating.
Those people are the wrongins.
They're the bad people that give these advice.
So you know what I mean?
So they give the good advice, but they are the bad people.
Right.
So what you're saying, what you're basically saying, so let's take this in like a little
film kind of thing.
You've got a person, they steal the apple.
They're like the damsel in distress.
You've got the, the word's laughing at me, the inverted commas superhero comes struts
along, thinks they own the place and comes and tells you, don't worry, put your sins
in the past.
But you're saying they're actually the villain because they are telling you that breaking
the law is okay.
I agree with you on that one, Will.
Yeah.
Put it in the past.
The real hero is the one that says, why'd you do that, you idiot?
It's the hero.
Try and turn them into the better person.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I see what you're saying.
Okay.
Yeah.
Go around.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, let's get into one of our topics.
Let's say it's not really a topic, but I really want to get into this.
This is sick.
I think we may have done this.
Alex Crudie, who has been a presenter on this podcast before, said that we may have done
this before, but most embarrassing moments... What he said is most embarrassing moments
that we have had.
Most embarrassing moments that can happen to anyone.
That's not happened to us necessarily, happened to anyone.
So Jermina, let's start with you.
Right.
So this is just generally what could happen to someone very embarrassing.
So okay, I think that... Okay, so number one, I think when you're ordering in a restaurant
or something and the person... Or no, you're leaving the restaurant and you say, thank
you.
And they say, hope you enjoyed your meal.
And you say, you too.
Now that is embarrassing because they did eat the meal.
They served you the meal and you just said that you hope that they... You know what
I mean?
Go through again.
Okay, so basically, you're leaving the restaurant, yeah?
Imagine me walking out and finish my meal.
The person, you know the person that stands out the door to tell you where to step?
They say to you, hope you enjoyed your meal.
And then you say, you too?
Oh yeah, like kind of like an instinct when someone says...
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So is that... You got any?
Yes, I do.
I have a few.
Now I like your idea, yes.
One of them could be a farting in front of your classmates.
That's definitely one.
Another one could be a massive voice crack.
Not like little voice cracks are normal, but like a voice crack, voice crack.
Yeah, yeah.
But the most important one is probably, though, someone is waving at someone, but you think
they're...
Why are they...
Why are they behind me?
And it was a girl in our year, a friend of her, she was waving.
She was waving at the girl behind me.
And then she said to me, I wasn't waving at you, Jemima.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry, I was thinking this is just a good example, but no, no.
Right.
Oh, okay.
Well, I was just thinking, actually, I wanted to tell you something, a little story that
happened.
It was, I want to say Wednesday.
I think I was driving down to see my aunt or uncle, I mean, like, yeah, aunt, someone.
I don't know.
I was driving down to see someone.
What?
And they were on the motorway.
And then there's this lorry.
I mean, he was an absolute... You could say he was drink driving, I don't know, but he
was cutting in between lanes really quickly and he was driving quite fast.
And he nearly hit the back of a car.
He nearly took off the bumper of it.
And you know how you just take off the back of a car in a car crash?
I swear he clipped it.
I don't know if he did.
That could be fake, but he was an absolute loony driver.
We were behind.
So I was like, oh shoot, if there's debris here or anything bad and it hits us.
Yeah.
Oh no.
Yeah, but it was all fine?
Yeah, all fine.
He sped off.
Oh, of course he didn't even care.
He was an interesting fellow.
Yeah.
I'll probably bring that up.
Yeah, that's a good story.
I mean, it's not a good story.
It's a mission impossible little scene.
Mission impossible.
And this is like the bad guy or the good guy, like get away, get away.
He's like, oh, moving on.
Next little choppick or whatever you want to call it.
What not to say on a date.
Yes.
Go take it away.
Will, you need to take notes.
You need to take notes.
Okay, Will?
Written down, I'm on notes right now.
It's future girlfriends that you're going to get.
Okay, Will, you ready?
Yeah.
Number one, don't mention anything about your ex.
For example, don't say, I haven't dated anyone since my ex.
No, no, absolutely not.
Just no.
And don't say, you remind me of my ex.
Well, you're broken up with, so that's not a good thing that you're reminded of them,
is it?
So let's not be doing that, everyone.
Okay?
Yeah.
Okay.
Don't say, do you usually wear that much slash little makeup?
Don't, don't.
Because, what Will?
Carry on.
That's going to be like, so if someone came up to me like, do you usually wear that little
makeup?
And it's like, oh, yes.
So that's just rude.
So don't do that.
Also, don't say, I haven't dated anyone since my ex.
Don't do that.
Also, is that how you usually dress?
Like, do not be commenting on the appearance.
Not be commenting on the outfit.
Because you don't know.
Maybe it's their favorite outfit.
Maybe you've just said that you don't like their favorite outfit.
And that's going to just knock, number one, make them really, really self-conscious.
And number two, they're never going to want to go on another date with you.
Let's be honest.
Because you're an idiot.
So that's mine.
Go ahead, Will.
Oh, OK, well, now I only have one.
Oh, sorry.
No, no, no, no, no.
You did what I asked.
And I had a backup plan.
Anyway, close your ears, kids.
This could get weird.
Just don't ask your parents if you have your ears open.
Oh, my gosh.
It might be like, oh, crumbs and stuff.
No, Will, no.
Just don't.
Trust me.
This ain't bad.
It's just little kids, you know.
Really?
More than it could be, hey, sexy waxy.
God.
Say that.
That's exactly what you would say, though, Will.
That's the thing.
Me?
That's what I would say.
That's the thing.
Oh, number one could be like, what position do you like?
You know, like.
Oh, weird, no.
No?
Will, let's just move on.
I told kids to close their ears.
I'm stopping you now.
Move on.
Next point.
OK.
What was our next point?
OK.
Yes.
Funniest childhood memory.
Got one?
Funniest childhood memory?
I didn't actually write this one down.
So can you go first?
Want to have a quick think?
Go ahead.
I mean, me go ahead.
Right.
Well, this happened a few years back now when I was a youngster.
I was in Pembrokeshire and I bought a bag of soju.
It is my favorite place.
I bought a bag of chips, you know, your vinegar, salt and all that rot.
You know what I mean?
The bag was dripping in vinegar at the bottom.
Pool of vinegar.
So it was quite damp.
Of course, wetness and paper don't go well together.
So I walked to another and the board of bag of chips chucked out onto the ground of Pembrokeshire.
So I just stood there, picked them up, nifty.
I was like, oh, from this anchor.
Um, get ready for it.
In no time, just like that, these hungry, pesky gang of seagulls came mobbing me, came
down like absolutely nibbling at my toes, like, just getting all of these chips they
can gobble up.
There was only a few of them, to be honest.
The rest were all peering like vultures getting ready to pounce on their prey.
But yeah, that is it.
And it was really sad because I knew I wasn't going to get any more chips.
So they were just sort of getting devoured while I knew I was going to go hungry for
the rest of the day.
And we're just going to clarify here because we actually have some American listeners.
He's talking about like, do they call it French fries?
Do they?
French fries.
He's not talking about like crisps.
He's talking about like, you know, potatoes.
Yeah, fries.
That's it.
Because otherwise that story makes no sense if you're thinking of crisps.
Yeah.
Okay.
So now, okay, I have thought I've actually got two.
One of them isn't actually mine.
It's my brother, but he told me the story and it's hilarious.
So I'm going to say it.
But I'll start off with my story.
So let's see, me and my dad walking along the sandy beach.
I'm quite young.
I'd say I'm about seven, eight.
It's yeah, we're walking along.
It's one of these beaches that has like, you know, the quicksand.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Well now we don't go very far in because obviously it's quicksand.
You know, why would you?
Now this stupid woman had gone far in and me and my dad, we were quite, we're like quite
near to her, but we're not near enough to be sinking in, you see.
She's walking and her sandal falls off.
It goes into the sand.
It just vanishes.
Everyone around is just like, oh dear.
And she's stressing out.
She's like shouting at her husband like, get my sandal out.
Just looking at each other, laughing at her.
Oh my god.
Her husband gets on his hands and he's in the quicksand.
This woman's sandal out.
He gets it.
Everyone around cheers.
Every single person in the whole beach erupts in cheers.
He goes, thank you everyone.
And then, then the woman's other sandal gets stuck.
No, no.
What?
So she goes, they go to walk off and the exact same thing happened.
But this time he said, you know what?
I'm not dealing with this honey.
And she has to fish out the sandal.
Really?
Yep.
It was hilarious.
I'm never going to forget that story till the day I die.
That's going to be the last thing I think of is that story.
Fair enough.
I know my other one that happened to my brother.
Now I wasn't actually there, but I've been told this story a lot of times and honestly
it makes me giggle every time I hear it.
So my mum and my brother, they're at the supermarket.
They've gone to get my dad the birthday cake, I think.
I don't know where I was.
I wasn't there.
They're looking at the cakes.
But you know the thing that the cakes are stored on, what do you call it?
The rack that all the food is stored on the supermarket.
It's like really flims.
It's got a loose screw.
So yeah, you see where this is going.
My brother, my mum says, okay Bertie, let's get that cake.
My brother, he goes to the floor because it's on the bottom shelf.
He gets it out.
The entire cake rack just smashes down.
Oh the cake.
It just smashes onto the floor and a worker comes running and he goes, oh yeah, we forgot
to tell everyone that that's a faulty rack.
You're going to have to pay for all that.
My mum starts arguing with that worker saying, why is it our fault that that's a faulty rack?
And eventually after all this argument, something the manager comes over and gives my mum and
the brother the cake that they wanted to buy for free.
So it all turned out well in the end because this employee was shouting at my mum saying
that she'd have to pay for like all these, there was about, I think there was about 60
cakes, not an exaggeration.
It was like the entire thing.
And they wanted her to pay for all of it just because they had a faulty rack.
For my mum, my mum still gets annoyed about that story today.
Honestly, she still bangs on about it.
And this was about six years ago now.
Wow.
Some people.
Well, well, Jemima goes and talks to her brother.
I shall dig into my other story I was planning.
And this one, let me tell you this, this is not nice.
So I was at a party once.
It was young ages ago.
And while I had an accident, let's say in my pantaloons.
So I shat my pants while at the party and oh my God.
It was horrible.
There was like a pool of brown peas just swishing side to side in my pants.
Just it was horrible.
It was horrible.
I remember I was just hobbling behind.
It was horrible.
It was all scrunchy.
It makes you feel sick even talking about it.
Right.
So I was talking to my brother after that story.
And I came in and I didn't hear the first part, but to be honest, I don't think I want
to.
No.
So yeah, when I listen to this back, I'm going to have a good surprise for me in there,
aren't I Will?
Great.
Yeah, you will.
Okay, let's move on as swiftly as possible from that story.
Yeah.
Sorry everyone.
Talking about it.
My brother just needed to ask me something, but I am back where I'm going to go.
Everything's so squeaky on my table.
Right.
Let's dig into, I think, one of the listener stories.
Were you...
Yes.
...bred?
You bred that one last time.
Right.
This is one.
Dear Will, do you mind my Alex?
Okay.
Alex isn't here.
Oh, oh.
And actually, he probably isn't there.
Right.
I'm not even sure if that was written.
Well, no, he isn't.
It's just me Will.
When I woke up that morning, I knew that there was going to be trouble.
I could feel it in my gut, like something bad was going to happen.
It didn't take me long for what my gut was feeling to become reality.
I've received a message on Twitter telling me that someone had spotted me wearing a lead
top in the Man United end.
Oh, gosh.
That was a silly decision.
Oh dear.
Just wear a plain shirt.
Yeah.
But needless to say, the reaction wasn't what I was expecting.
Positive comments and likes flooded in.
There were also a few negative tweets about how silly an uncle it was to wear a top from
a club like Leeds, which I took with offense.
Okay.
Yeah.
Josh Wood, if you're listening to this, we're really sorry.
We're really sorry, Josh Wood.
Yeah.
Don't worry, Josh.
I still support Leeds with my whole heart and I do support Reading, but Leeds is my second
club.
Oh my God.
In the end, it wasn't so much the reaction from others that bothered me as much as the
fact that someone had reported me for wearing something that wasn't legit.
I'm sorry.
What?
Especially given Man United's rivalry with Leeds.
Nowadays, social media can be pretty ugly, but back then it felt like everyone who mattered
had turned on me because of this one stupid mistake.
Right.
Never ever wear a rival top in the opposite end.
Great podcast.
Thanks for the great podcast, but can I just say it's fairly obvious not to wear a rival
shirt in the opposite end.
I'm not trying to be rude, but that was a bit silly, wasn't it?
A bit silly.
Melon.
Yeah.
Oh dear.
It's okay.
I hope that you've recovered from this embassment and learned from your mistakes.
I really do because that is just very silly, silly, silly.
Okay.
Right.
Well, we haven't had a joke for a while and I thought I'd just bring up one or two.
Okay.
Here we go.
Why did the old man fall in the well?
I don't know.
Because he couldn't see too well.
It's awful, but it caught me off guard.
Yeah.
It's a lovely bit of a play.
Another one.
Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill?
Because it had felt, I don't know.
I don't know.
Because he ran out of juice.
Yeah, that was awful.
That was the best.
I love that one.
He ran out of juice.
Of course he did.
Right, well, I'm going to give you a pick up line, a random pick up line.
You've got to rate it on a scale of one to 10.
Okay?
Okay.
Right.
I've just quickly Googled it up because I wasn't planning on doing this.
So, no, that's pretty bad.
Right.
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being this week's hottest single.
No.
That's a 10.
Give me that.
Okay.
We've got one more.
If you're a vegetable, you'd be a cute cumber.
That's good.
That's a nine.
Pick up lines.
It's so funny.
I love that.
That was a class.
Actually, I won't squeeze in this section.
We're squeezing one little section because we've only got a few minutes left.
Three TV shows you recommend to the audience.
Okay.
Right.
Number one, Heartstopper.
It's so good.
The new series coming out August, the 3rd of August.
I'm buzzing.
I'm buzzing, Will.
It's going to be great.
Number two, Young Sheldon.
Great.
Better than the Big Bang Theory.
It's meant to be the spin-off, but the Big Bang Theory is awful.
And Young Sheldon is actually good.
That's an unpopular opinion.
I know.
I'm sorry, everyone, but the Big Bang Theory is just the humorous.
Get rid of the comments, please.
Yeah.
Well, I've already been attacked for saying that I don't like dogs, so I think that I
can deal with this.
And the third one, on the top of my head.
Oh, gosh.
Outnumbered.
It's really old.
It's really old, but it is so good.
Never heard.
No, Will, you'd like it.
You'd like it.
Trust me.
Because it's quite like Modern Family.
No, not Modern.
Yeah, yeah, it is quite like Modern Family.
It's just like, it's basically the same thing, but just funny.
I think you should watch it.
It's old, but it's good.
Okay.
Oh, I would say...
Trying to see if this is the name of the show I'm thinking of.
Nope, it is definitely not.
Well, first one would be Modern Family.
There you go.
I mean, that's such a good show.
It has to watch it.
No, it's not.
Yes, it's such a good show.
I recommend you watch it.
Other one, I think these are so basic shows, but you've got to watch them.
Netflix, most of them are Netflix.
Oh, no, this one isn't anymore.
Spectacular Spider-Man.
I know it's a Spider-Man show.
But, come on.
If you really like story plots and how stories develop and how you relate with the main character,
this is a perfect way to relate with them.
But you really feel Peter Parker's struggle of balancing Spider-Man's life and his rent
to protect Aunt May and stuff.
So...
Oh, a speech about Spider-Man, Will.
I'm sorry.
And the last one would probably be, what's it called?
Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Which, love it.
Top show.
Love it.
Of course it is.
Will stayed up till like 3am watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
He said on one of the early podcasts that he spent loads and loads of money buying the
new season.
Yeah.
And then...
I never watched it.
And then he never watched it yet.
Oh, okay.
On Netflix a few weeks later.
So yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't watched it yet, but I will.
Anyway, that is all we've got time for today, everyone.
Thank you so much for watching.
Thanks for so much support.
We've been checking the followers, the downloads.
It's all been going up.
Thank you so much, everyone.
And we will see you on Tuesday, hopefully.
See you next time.
See you then.
Bye.
Bye bye.