Two kings at this point. They're really just
Enjoying immortality by keeping themselves busy because their bodies don't work anymore, and there's only so many
Things to do so they just try and get out and pretty much enjoy the world
To be clear there is one thing they cannot do
Which is the thing you are all thinking of right now?
yeah part of having to do these videos is you have to do some really weird research and
I made a joke one time which is you know basically setra came back because he had the biggest
You know
Long everybody around and so he had to slap everybody around with it and put him back in their tombs
And I was like well hold on he's mummified right and okay
Yeah, no they actually chop all that off and put it in a jar so okay. Well that joke doesn't really work does it yeah?
Setra's imperishable penis in a jar. No no
Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome back to the beginner to expert podcast here on law crimes now today
We are discussing a particularly interesting subject with the tomb kings
And we have a very special guest to introduce to you all you may know him from his total war
Noobs guides and all of history and gaming content videos the one and only Cody bond
Yeah, I'm so excited for this because I'm a fan. I've been watching it for ages
I'm so excited to be here, and I'm sorry even watching it for ages. Just makes me sound old
I think I'm not the oldest on the podcast for one, so it's a fresh surprise for me
I think I'm not the oldest on the podcast for one, so it's a fresh surprise for me. I'm here. I'm taking that one off
Put down your your walking stick Andy
Yes, and on that note how I suppose before we get started we should go through the question of the week
So how I believe you've got some choice picks this week. I do I have some
beautiful leftovers from some of our previous questions of the week
Thank you all for submitting them
And I don't want to let you guys just we'll start light and we'll see how it escalates
But this was from the believe the ultraman's episodes this one was just a nice little opener
So the question was about your theoretical and practical the theoretical was the Emperor protects and the practical was
Sigma actually does which I can move probably. Yep. Yeah, we can say this is more fancy one
So it's nice. I see heresy. It's a good nice little ultramarine pivot into fancy there. Not too bad
There's a pretty clear winner in the god Emperor competition, and it's not the guy in the chair
Yeah, he needs a speaking of that speaking of the guy in the chair
So this was from our Primark episode this was a hashtag
How do you resurrect the Emperor from the Golden Throne wrong answers only? I'm actually gonna lose it
I think he was saying
It was hashtag save M
Okay, bring the thickest collect. Oh my god. I'm gonna lose it. Come on. How you can do it
I'm gonna lose it. Come on. How you can do it
Bring the thickest
Calitius assassin to the Imperium onto that so I'll start from the beginning because it's just this is just ridiculous
Bring the thickest Calitas assassin of the Imperium to the Golden Throne and let them grind his lap
The Emperor's gonna release a ten thousand year old nut which was shot to the very fabric of space
God I
Know I chose one that eruption will close the signature
The chaos gods which is soul fights constantly with this newfound respite
His soul can focus over time to reform his boy to full strength finally Emperor's reborn through himself
Thank you, Luca Saint for the
Ten thousand year old nut which was shot to the very fabric of the galaxy
Hashtag post nut clarity. That's a bit extreme. I don't know
Oh
First guess is had for beginner to expert
To lower the tone
Oh my yeah, this is the this is the tone
Last one was from our Primox 2 one
This was hashtag lore lies
so what was the best kept secret in 40k and
The best though this commenter says the best kept secret in 40k is that the vaults on terror don't actually hold
Technology your monsters as the rumor says it actually holds all the rule 34 humanity is made
During the dark age of technology
That's what's kept down there
It is so bad and needlessly horny and it makes even she whose first shudder
God damn it. So it's just the Disney porn vault down there
Yes
that was um
That was the uh the comments
I don't know how that
Welcome, Cody
I started asking more interesting questions at the end of my videos is what I discovered
Top quality content you guys are getting you can you can always learn something here
It might not be anything you ever wanted to learn
But apparently even a lap dance is good enough to get a 10 000 year old mummy emperor to get hard again
I mean, that's definitely something you can learn
If only we could unlearn it um, but speaking of new things we can learn today and we'll be doing and mummies
Hashtag mummy in the chat for people listening. I don't know why I said that I have
A family but why I want my mummy
Oh
Oh my god, okay. It was a good one
I'm gonna get off track here. So
We'll be totally tackling the tomb kings. So i'm gonna hand over to cody to helm our beginner section
Cody let's enlighten these uh glorious listeners. Take it away
Right. So the tomb kings this is for the noobs of you out there are
Based on everything egyptian like if you have seen ancient egyptian sarcophagi, you know in the height of the pyramids
That's these guys
warhammer
anise
In its original version was warhammer historical like you know back in the day all these guys are huge history nerds
Um two of the guys that actually sculpt all the models one of them lost his hand
Firing a replica cannon from the 1600s. That's how big
These guys are and helisto. He actually trained himself to sculpt with his left hand and continues to work better this day
So they are big into history to say the least so tomb kings are egyptians like just think about it that way
Specifically kind of the era of ramsey's the great so in this version of the kind of world they're working with it's a nehekhara
I can't get the guttural right, but my understanding is that's how it should be portrayed
Is uh, the kh has a fun little to it jethby attacked while she was saying the words like
Yeah
Think up on someone yeah, so the land nehekhara was in roughly
You know where egypt is on the warhammer map if you actually look at it and kind of squint you can tell it's just earth
but
Desert land full of chaos and horribleness and then the egyptian gods
led by led by patra show up and they cleanse the land and of course then people move in and
They began to worship these nekharan deities
And they found a civilization that will eventually become
Emry or kimri and all that kind of fun stuff and so you kind of have a whole civilization built around their version of the nile
and all that
So everything's bouncing along and then you have their big
Name that everyone talks about whenever you talk about the tomb kings who is cetra
imperishable ruler
Ruler of and then you could just keep going for the rest of the podcast if someone wants to read those
In the background like a nice soothing lullaby. No, I saw that that's in your uh, your tomb kings video, isn't it?
Like you read it. Yeah, I just kept running in the background with it only lasts about five minutes
I was a little disappointed actually, uh, but my understanding is that's the abbreviated version
But his titles are you know, they just go forever. So
Uh, by the way at some point how I need you to tell me ask me about why a skaven has a weird dagger
And colin I need you to
Ask me if arcane is still alive because i'm gonna forget and I need you to at some point to jump in with those
Would you be okay with that?
Skaven dagger skaven dagger
Why skaven have a dagger?
And colin if arcane is still alive and uh, all right, we'll keep going. All right
So setra the imperishable first of his name yada yada yada, etc, right?
so
Because everything in warhammer whenever a new race gets introduced
They're always the biggest invest when tomb kings got introduced setcher was the new biggest invest and his whole thing was
Basically, he took over the entire known world like it sent ships all the way to lustria
You know, crazy
Like it sent ships all the way to lustria, you know fought against the king
The you know before it was the empire of man he fought against them and beat them
You know everything all the way to the edges of cathay which apparently they didn't go to because cathay didn't exist yet
They fought, you know, and he won because he's setcher the imperishable greatest of his name, you know
Absolutely loved what he was doing jerk while he was doing it like and to get the favor of the gods
He sacrificed his own children to get their favor, you know that kind of guy. That's quite spicy. I'm not gonna lie
Hey, man, it's the hot take
You know if you want power you gotta sacrifice your own children worked in greek sagas and apparently it works in ancient egyptian
Ritual research as well. You can't argue with results
I mean
I mean, I mean we don't condone that on law crimes. Do not sacrifice your firstborn. Um
We won't get most of them needed all of them
Which leads to a problem later on that we're going to get to basically
Uh because he sacrificed all his children. It's just setcher now and setcher then realizes he you know
He has this problem of getting old all of us run into eventually
And even though he's sacro across most of the world, you know
He gets all the way to the world's edge mountains the black mountains and he cries because he looked out and he still realized there were more
Worlds yet to conquer you may recognize that one
Alexander yeah, alexander. It's interestingly not from alexander. It's from diehard
uh hans gobert's name is diehard and that attributes it to alexander, um
Which good on you
But the original quote was actually alexander wept when he learned about the multiverse and realized that he was not even a lord
In his own world where others had done more than him
It's a misattribution and then diehard ran with it. And so now everybody repeats it is that alexander wept?
But I know anywho warhammer did the same thing. It's just kind of funny
Uh, so yeah, he's like, all right, man
I need the secret of immortality like I want to keep concurrent so he found something called the cult of the dead
And this is where you start getting into like your egyptian mortuary cults
And if you've ever seen, you know the mummification things like that, that's where this comes from
And so same thing he founds this cult and they're going to find a way to give him eternal life
And even though you know, they do all sorts of experimentations and stuff like that
Surprise, he still dies. I mean he lives longer than everybody else does
You know one because he's a pharaoh and he can do that
Uh, but two, you know, they figured out but they're like, all right, cool. Here's what's gonna happen, man
You're gonna die. We can't bring you back right now. So we're gonna mummify you perfectly and then when we do figure out how to bring you back
Uh, we'll do it. We promise cross our hearts. Hope to die
So they build the biggest pyramid the tomb kings have ever seen and they put him inside of it
And now he's a king of a tomb hence the name two kings tomb kings, right?
Funny thing though when you give a cult ultimate power and then you're not around to tell them what to do
I started abusing that shit really quick. Uh, and so
Everything goes pear-shaped to say the least and so
Everybody now wants the secret of eternal life and these guys start guarding it and they you know
I think it's a thousand years later. I mean they're at it for quite some time
Basically, the entire civilization turns to building these tombs to preserve themselves as good as possible
So that they can eventually be resurrected and eventually the tombs and the pyramids outnumber the cities that like around them
They're like just you know, a couple hundred people in a couple thousand tombs. It gets a lot of hand the tomb the uh,
the
Priest the tomb priest that's not their name. What are they called?
The betty white it must be betty white because she holds the secrets of eternal life
Like a year ago though
Did she die? Yeah
No, oh my god, I made a look. That's a that's a war crime. That's a real
Oh, let's just like geez make everybody sad in the podcast. That's messed up
I'm sorry. She died in 2021 nice one. How
Damn, she doesn't have a secret then she lied
Apparently not. So these guys ran into the same problem, right?
So they figured out the secret to eternal life
But not to eternal youth because those are two different things and warhammer is an infinite monkey paw
So they turned into these giant walking withered husks things
Basically, they figured out you could bind a soul to a something
So they bound their souls back to their own body, but the body of obviously would deteriorate and you know start to fall apart
so
Everybody, of course wants the power anyway
But then a new guy comes along the name that will echo through the ages and everyone hopes to eventually see him as a dlc
for the total war games nagash
The great necromancer supreme douchebag of all of warhammer such as the power of nagash
That quote is elite. We were a big fan of that one since uh, colin told us about it. I
Don't know man, like they're occasionally characters you come across and they're just such like saturday morning cartoon villains
Like he's kind of like the skeletor of this universe. He's like I will kill everything
That's why he's great
He's just so awful settled
And then give him a sufficiently big hat just to make sure that you're like, yeah
We know he's a bit silly. Look at his hat. He's a bit over the top
Here's an extra-sized hat just so you know exactly how important he is. So he's just
He's like a little pope hat, isn't it? Is that like a too much of a terrible comparison like catholic church and uh,
He was he was a lich priest so yeah, he was
That's his whole thing. So he is the first son of this like
Dynastic family so he gets donated to the lich priest while his younger brother takes over the throne and he's like nope
I want both and so he kills his brother and then takes over the throne and becomes king of camry and wants to
Rule etc and be better than such her in every respect, right?
um, but he also has the secrets of the lich priests and so
Unlike the lich priest who basically just sort of did like reverse necromancy in a way
um nagash figures out actually how to create an elixir of life like one that will keep you young and powerful forever and
Like every great villain he does not tell anyone what it is
Like he's like nope taking that to my grave
But he recruits some special lieutenants and things like that around him
And one of which is our can the black which many of you guys may know
Uh, and so he feeds them this special elixir that basically gives them superpowers for a limited amount of time
So basically they had to keep serving him if they one want to stay alive and two want to keep being awesome
And then he proceeds to just goose step across all of the tomb king's world, right?
You know all of the deserts then fall under his sway
um, but
Obviously this can only go for so long before people start getting pissy about that sort of thing
So the rest of the tomb kings band together and they're like, okay
Let's do this and they have a what they call like a war of the dead, right?
This is where it starts getting really dark
so
Everything in warhammer
you can tell whenever you're about to hit a novel because suddenly it goes from really sketchy details to like
Granular level of lore and this is one of those sections like nagash is very well tread territory
There are books after books written about his nonsense
and uh, yeah, so
He starts doing serious necromancy and like bringing people back and you know, really doing the best he can
And they beat him. Anyway, they just beat the beat the brakes off of him
And in his last little gasp attempt of being an absolute dickbag
He's like cool. Well, if I can't have it nobody can and he breaks his toys
In this case killing everyone in the entire area and then trying to resurrect the entire world to create an infinite army from every
dead person ever
Which winds up with where you have mummy tomb kings because everybody is dead there and then he sort of brings them back
form a crazy skeleton army
And yeah, that's free at tomb kings and stuff. So cetra reemerges around this time everybody. I'm sorry
I'm losing the track a little bit here. Sorry
Nothing that we haven't done before several times on the podcast this is why I shout scathe dagger much of this shit
Oh my god, there's so much of this right? So yeah, he starts trying to resurrect the school of the dead
This is where you bring up the scaven dagger. Go ahead
Oh, what do I do with the scaven dagger?
I don't know. Oh, do you not know this?
No, i'm I've kind of familiar with like, um, okay everyone with al-kadi's are right. Yeah, this is al-kadi's are right
Or al-kadi's are however you want to pronounce it, right? So he's like nagash is resurrecting the whole world
He's doing this great crazy ritual and kid you not deos ex scaven
Like a rat man just like appears in the story from nowhere
Gives this random dude a dagger and says go shank that guy and then like scurries away again
And so nagash gets stabbed in the back by a random warpstone scaven dagger and his story is over
Disappears like it's very voldemort in a way if you've read harry potter like his clearly his soul's been broken into a number of pieces
So he goes back to this giant black pyramid that he had built and like
Incubates inside that pyramid until it'll eventually reemerge again to wreak havoc on the world, right that kind of thing
Um, but unfortunately the damage is already done at least locally all the local skeletons and dead have been
revived again
And so that's where cetra comes back into the story
You know this guy who's been dead for a thousand years reemerges from his tomb and he's very much like what the bleep guys
Like I left this on a high note and I come back out and now what?
Bit dusty everywhere
Mop up a bit mop or dust. No, what am I doing brush?
I'm about the dust. Oh god. I'd hope you don't bring a mop to an archaeological site
More effective than you think it'd be
Master's degree in archaeology. Yeah, so occasionally you know to get stuff up
So you kind of get a brush large amounts of areas and a broom is more effective than a mop
But hey, I mean you can make it work. Hmm
right, um, so
Let's see the the the the the the setra setra shows up and he's like man. I
I he the first thing he does is basically kicks the butts of all the other tomb kings that have ever lived
Because remember there's a thousand years of kings between those two points
And so he has to put them all right back in their place
And the first thing he says is go back to sleep at your pyramid if I need you i'll wake you up
And anybody said anything else he smacked around a little bit
And so he takes back over the country and he is ready to rock and roll up until
Pretty much present-day warhammer. I know it's weird to say it that way
But like the continuity all the way to the end of the end times he'll be an old world
Like it'll all be setra like he's been the dude there for quite a while
um
Right, and then you know nagash's
Cabal of weird people can get thrown to the winds and of course are forever trying to resurrect him to bring him back
Now such as arkin
Arkin, yeah such as arkin. Thank you for bringing him back up again
And this is one of those this is one of those moments that gets sort of weird because whenever people talk about warhammer
This is great quote, which is um
Everything is uh, everything is canon. Nothing is true
Oh, yeah
I mean to fair all of us who do warhammer content
That it's a bit of a pet peeve sometimes because you want to make
You know, you know like if someone's going to correct you in the comments being like, yeah
Oh, yeah, you flubbed that thing and you're like actually
It's nothing's correct. It's all lies. Yeah
It's it's the problem of like, I mean if you've been developing something for 30 years
You're gonna run into that problem, right?
I mean you you can't you have a version you change it later and this is definitely one of those situations
So originally arcane kind of dies to let nagash get away and like enact his crazy ritual
But then the books came out later and you know, suddenly we had to do more stuff
So instead of burning his body, he was then kidnapped by the neighboring province of uh, la mia
Right, and so you actually get a different story of the neighboring province nearby that ends up creating vampires
From nagash so they want to they kidnap
Uh arcane because they want to create the elixir of life for themselves, right?
This amazing powerful thing he made and they botch it and they end up giving themselves an internal thirst for blood
um, and so then you have arcane simping for nepharada for the entire rest of eternity based on that little bit right there
And yeah, that's um
That's everything for the tomb games. I can think of
That's pretty much who they are like you have these giant constructs. You have a bunch of mummies fighting each other
So they figured out that you could also like bind warrior souls into those great big egyptian statues
So they move around a little bit. So yeah, they're fun. They're super cool
I do have one question about the tomb kings, which is um
like they are
Are they obviously they kind of there isn't there's no new tomb king in terms of like in the world. There's no
Like basically their supplies of like men always whittle down, right? There's no like well
I think the idea is so every tomb so, you know how the chinese emperors would have like that entire terracotta army buried with them?
Oh, yeah
All right. So the tomb kings did that except they buried real people alive with them
Oh, yeah
So lovely sort of an infinite number of armies just hanging out in the desert like 3000 years of history just hanging out under there
And so to replenish their forces
They're always going around and literally digging out their old armies that are trapped under the stands screaming for mercy
uh
This is another idea of nagash with a shovel just going I know I put them here somewhere. Where are they?
I killed a thousand people right here. There should be you'd think I remember what am I like?
Oh handled my head if it wasn't bolted on with something
Yeah, you're bang on. Yeah, so that's the thing is so the last tomb kings I mean so all of them died
It was like 2000 years before like the modern point in the story right there
so it's very much like
The sort of everybody just hangs out with what they have and they're sort of the ghosts that live in the desert occasionally
They'll come out not very much like there was a norscan raiding party one time that like broke in and stole a crown
and so
Etc took like this elite corps and then just basically burned norsca to the ground until he got his stuff back
And then disappeared back to the desert
And so I don't know. I have one more question which was about
Because they are obviously undead but the actual tomb king soldiers do they have like their personality still intact like even the foot soldiers?
So good question. It has to do with the mummification techniques
So the tomb kings like satra the pharaohs what we would call them
You know, they never called pharaohs in the lore as far as I can tell had extra mummification happened to them
So they had like additional spells of binding of spells of whatever
And so their their souls were able to re-inhabit their bodies perfectly almost like they just went to sleep and woke back up again
Right, but you know, that's sort of like the Cadillac of mummification and your average peon didn't get that right?
They got the one where you still have to roll the windows up by hand
You know, they're alive in the sense that they move around and some of them have some personality not much
You know, it's very it's very sort of like being commanded like they're not being individually like necromanced like puppets, but
You kind of like zombies. They're just reduced down to the basic emotions of you know, walk stab
I don't know
I like like it is an idea that there's like like a service you can get just like with embalming plus
Will make you have even more cognitive ability
50 pounds a month deposits
That's exactly how the lich priest sold it to so that they were always up charging the current favorite
Well, you know we could get this version if they have that like, of course, I want this. Yes
I'll give you all the money in the world, you know, that's how they took crazy control at the time
So there's the necrons just like get in the fig
Promise say it's uh
Good glad you brought it up Andy because especially after the I think fifth edition of 40k the big rewrite
That just basically turned the necrons into tomb kings. That's
Yeah, the specifics are different, but it's more or less like a one-to-one. It's like, you know, the average warrior. Yeah, he's uh
You might find something if you look hard enough, but you know all the lords and stuff
Yeah, that generic necron foot soldier used to be called Jemima and she was a five-year-old girl
You're like what's going on? This is scary necrons are terrible. Yeah
God the context of that
People who don't know about warhammer like yeah, i'm just gonna fight this five-year-old girl. Who's like a metal skeleton man
Like see you later. Space marines are all child soldiers. No one just ever talks about it. Yeah, why am I shocked?
What am I doing?
Oh, it's not new. The setting is invented the term grimdark with good context for it
I do have another question, but I say that for the uh for an opportune time in the expert section because I think
I don't want to bring up Bretonnia so quickly because Colin might be Colin hates Bretonnia
So I don't know what i'm glad you guys got me on here because I love Bretonnia
They're my favorite and we frequently argue about it on discord
We've had more than one star in joust about uh our feelings on Bretonnia, you know, I I never
I never I never really grasped the uh, the uh the uh the phrase don't meet your heroes until
I uh heard our illustrious guest's opinion on the on the horse people
And then I understood it
In fact, i'm just gonna take the opportunity now, uh, why I was gonna ask why is Bretonnia the best faction with the richest law?
You're gonna make let colin. Yeah colin colin's seething at this
Oh, well, I mean it's already guaranteed. They're pretty much going to be the old world starting box alongside tomb kings
So I mean that's that's the the big rumor is that those are the two guys that are going to be the poster boys for old world
Damn well, you would not believe how many comments we get
In every video saying I can't wait for colin to do the Bretonnia video because that's his favorite
Faction, there's like someone going and grinding their teeth for an hour
That's I think that might be my proudest accomplishment in the warhammer community is that someone once told me
That before I came along the h for Bretonian
Bretonians was far lesser than it was
It's interesting that you really have become the focal point for that like everybody
Repeats what you say about the hatred for Bretonnia. You've given it such form and shape
Um, I don't like modern Bretonnia. I actually like fifth edition Bretonnia
I think they did away with a lot of really cool lore on them. I I like king arthur
I was really big into that as a kid shockingly
Um, and so I can definitely feel a lot of it in there in the robin hood aspects
You know the harrow malts and things like that. I think there's a lot of really cool aspects to it
I think that the end times did them as well as other people dirty
I mean, setra got off pretty good in the end times though
Getting down like a boss like chopping heads off by the hundreds by himself
So, you know tomb kings come out of it pretty well, though
I do like the green knight though the green knight's slap so quietly is as i've told andy
The only good Bretonian because the only good one is a dead one
Oh lord, yeah, our first was that our first episode of fireside. I believe it was that I dropped that. Yeah
The uh
His hatred is blazing
It's cool. It's cool, man. They got musel on for that
So you got an entire faction just of dead Bretonians just for you if you ever want to play them there colin
That's true. I might have to look into it once the old world drops
Give me that red duke energy
He is pretty sick. Yeah, I know my warhammer fantasy kind of i'm here
Uh, that's my final question essentially. I was gonna I wasn't gonna bring up Bretonnia so early because colin obviously
Pain i'm ready to go off
I do have more but i'll say that for later
Uh, that's pretty as a I think that's pretty uh, okay. He said that's pretty comprehensive. I think we've got a good start here
I'm ready
Well, I mean i'm glad to have given you guys a solid foundation to build from uh
It is all based on jokes and silly research on my end, but it's fun to delve into so
I'm new to this though. I I readily admit that before I started the noobs guide series three years ago
I had never encountered warhammer. So this is all still new to me
Like, you know, i'm just using historical research background to like learn as much as I can
So i'm excited to hear from our expert colin. I mean take it away man. Like i'm gonna have questions now
All right. Well a fantastic job in the beginner and I'll do my best to follow it up for the expert section
as uh as our
Wonderful guest either 50 different ways
I wanted to say that in my head and they all tried to fight out of my own once
You were just aiming off the hatred for britainia, you know
That was fighting its way to eye twitching
uh thousands of years before sigmar was
Even a thought in uh in his dad's eye in his dad's mind
We come to the tomb kings
They were already the greatest human civilization on earth and really the first one
Uh much like egypt. I know there's a fun little fact
cleopatra is
Closer to the smartphone being invented than she was to the pyramids being built
I hate that. Why have you why would you be my mind? What have you done? I don't I don't know. It's a cool fact
He's right. That's true. It was what 40 50 bc. So yeah, I mean you're bang on. Yeah, that's uh
Much the same with the tomb kings. They're very old
Uh according to their myths once as the earth when chaos, uh broke through the old ones portals into the warhammer world
There were demons there as well. There were kind of demons all over the planet is something you'll find
Is pretty common in fantasy
uh the sun god patra himself
Let a charge against the demons, uh with
His soon-to-be followers rallying behind him and after many centuries of conflict because they didn't have the
the vortex just to
Drain away everything they had to actually fight them out. They cleared away all of the demons and the nahakaran gods
rewarded their people
with actually
Some nice ferdinand lands. They turned nahakara
From what was you know, basically what it is in current fantasy a complete desert awful place to live
It was actually, you know, it had a decent bit of greenery. It was still a desert. It wasn't you know paradise
Uh, it's not oath one. They're not elves
But it was still you know, still a good place to live. They got the the river vitae the
the not nile
And taught them all the cool things about civilization, you know
You're writing your building your ability to read that
Then was not taught to most of the people because you got to keep the ruling class in power
They uh, they they did good
And in exchange for worship of the gods they would watch over the people of nakra
And thus did the land come into being the first great realm of mankind
Uh before as kody said earlier before even kathé
Uh, they again egypt is old and so are the tube kings
And is there any is there any old one shenanigans here with uh, i
Could not find much in the way. I do have
A theory of it is that so the old the old ones created all the uh races
Uh to fight back chaos, you know humans were one they created the elves the dwarfs
Uh, pretty much everyone on the warhammer fantasy world, but the orcs the orcs were just there and they couldn't get rid of them
So my thought about that was that the nakra much as that region of the world is where we believe humans came from in real life
I uh, I believe that's where the old ones plopped down the first humans
Oh cool. That's uh, again, I couldn't find anything supporting that so do take that with you
But that's the what I think is the most likely for how did these people get here? Although
Humans were one of the later races created
So they weren't given they didn't get the full pre-packaged deal
They didn't get gifted culture and everything like the elves and the dwarfs. They just kind of got
Plopped down and then the old ones made ogres and then left
The fifa development team made humans
Yeah
Sorry
That's out there, sorry
No worries, uh, but sent for centuries after this it was you know, they were doing well
they formed all the many of the cities that would come to be uh
created like uh, kimri, uh lamia
uh zandri and they were all
In a loose kind of alliance
Uh, they paid tribute to the great king who was the one who ruled in kimri
but they
Each had the pardon me they each ruled over their own city. Otherwise with complete power
So essentially if the guy ruling kimri wasn't around you could do whatever the hell you wanted as king
They drove back marauding greenskins horde greenskin hordes every now and then which
Again warhammer 40k our fantasy you wait long enough. There's going to be york somewhere
And over the centuries the borders of ancient hekara expanded to the southern lands of the empire of man to the south lands
and even to the edges of the dark lands home of the
Chaos dwarfs who are still kind of coming about
Uh, and in these pre-dynastic times things were good until they weren't and then they got really bad
Which is a trend for warhammer because if things are good and nice, we don't get a war game out of it. It's uh, oh
I oh that I pardon me. I just remember what I was gonna say. This was uh before cetra as well
Cetra went hog wild with the conquest, but they were already doing pretty well with it before he showed up
of course after this
It's called the uh, the time of strife which uh
andy
How uh, how does it usually go in warhammer when something's called the age of strife?
very badly, uh, there's usually a lot of a lot of crying and loss of technologies and
pain and death and you know
The loss of game boys and all sorts of terrible things is dreadful
Yeah, I lost my game boy
That's what he was sad
Rest in peace game boy
He was resurging your youth, you know, your the times you went to school and you went
I've lost my game boy
Where's my original nintendo ds that thing could still work
I've still got a nokia brick phone
My pokemon gold cartridge is broken. Oh no, I lost the ugear
I've still got mine
Does anyone here have a nokia brick phone?
I do it still works
It still works. Why why does it still work?
God just like take the battery out and just every now and again. I'll turn it back on just to prove it does
Do you play snake on it too?
Oh, hell yes
Oh man, man of culture over here
See warhammer people are the most elite like uh fan fandom fandom. Oh god. I can't believe I said that word
Continue on colin. I'm gonna throw myself into a corner here
I'll uh, I'll come to the rescue with the shovel too
I'll come to the rescue with the shovel to dig you out of this hole
It is time for the time of strife very aptly named as each city pretty much has turned on every other city
And it was there wasn't really anything like, you know alliances or leagues. It was just every king for himself
And to top it off because when things go when it rains it pours
Famine and disease ran rampant and outside forces ranging from barbarian tribes, you know those uh
Eventually sigma worshipers. They weren't happy with the not Egyptians outside their house
It would quite like them to leave so they started invading
Lizardmen from the southlands actually invaded because these warbloods needed to learn their place
And the orcs again, they're orcs if there's a fight going on. Yeah, they're just there. That's uh, they're like the grass
Like a bad rash you can't get rid of
Yeah, no, there's there's no getting I mean green is the best
Uh, and this very nearly wiped out the the realm one man. However rose up
Cetra the great the imperishable. I'm not reading out all of those names in canon
It would take two hours and at least five minutes here
I did have I I got semi-related I I read it out for a video just a stupid thing and I told my
Discord I made a channel for it and I said come up with names for me
So at some point I need to I'm gonna read out a full list of names people came up until it reaches two hours
As long as we don't do a tomb kim tomb kings quiz
And then one of the questions is what are all of his names and there's like a maximum of 700 points
They'd be like no that's it's gonna take too long to type out whoever gets this one wins
I have a question for Cody. What's the name of the assassin guy? Who's like?
Cetra's like best buddy or whatever he's a pop the barbarian half barbarian half
Is he half a Baron or is he a bit but they're in a barbarian
Was right. There's a pofus which is like his scarab
Ghost buddy who like offs people as an assassin, but he has like one really big general guy that you talking about that guy
I think so. Yeah, he's the one who I remember like being a really cool. Like he saves his life a few times
I think maybe I don't know. He's the personal guard. Paul and do you have that one was a
It may be it was like he's one of the only tomb king character was like
Oh other than cetera, obviously, he's like I'm pretty sure it was in a calf. I wish he was in total war. Yeah
He
He's I don't think ever confirmed it but they rumored it to be
He's of partial Norscan descent which would explain why he's built like a brick shithouse
Fair enough. So I'm not all on those Andre the giant jeans go a long way
Yeah, you don't you don't want to get on setters bad side because then the calf is going to cut you in half
Hey, and it even rhymes
As for setter himself, he's arrogant
supremely full of himself and cruel beyond to measure and
In this time of Civil War he was just the guy for the job and I was as I was writing this out
I had a thought and we were talking about Dragon Ball Z before we started it
Cemented it to me. I like to think of cetera
He's kind of like Warhammer fantasy Vegeta in the way that he's so
Arrogant and full of himself that it wraps around from you going. I hate this guy. He's a prick too. Yes
He's here. This is awesome. Everything. He's a little I mean, that's the whole thing is like he backs it up both of them do
Oh, yeah, they're they're ready to go
The old all ha ha ha ha ha ha easy now we're talking about fantasy at least stick to the elves
Yeah, and they even have a
The same like you know, he just shows up goes I am setter the imperishable
Vegeta goes I'm the prince of all Saints and that's all you need to know
They've said everything they needed to say and it's time for a beating
I don't like that subtitle. He's got the imperishable
It sounds like he should be living in your cupboard like by yourself
Some setter the imperishable it lasts for years whenever you need something to cook for like 10 minutes
Just like get in a can or something. It's a can of spam as a tomb king. Yeah, exactly
You will you will be flogged for disrespecting the imperishable
Beheading this is what he's worthy of some praise here
Like I mentioned with the titles the fullest was two hours long and if any of his heralds goofed they lost their head
so you better memorize that stuff good because otherwise your
Retirements coming early
I am in the gash like two sides of the same coin
kind of
in a way
They're both very I think that's I personally yeah, I dig that I think it's exactly right
I mean, it's just that blind ambition and
Willing to sacrifice anyone around you quite literally in the gashes case. So
It's I think the difference is like two sides the same coin. I think what makes them different is that
Cetra knows
The full bit of Machiavelli, which is you should be feared and loved not just one
Nagash didn't quite care for the love part and that led to a lot of problems
Cody also said that
Cody also I
Feel like you might know that's is it ever confirmed that he was more or less writing satire and people just
Used that to justify atrocities
Machiavelli. Yeah, it was definitely meant to
He was sort of selling it as a self-help book. It was it was very much like hey, you know guys
This is what a good king looks like. I'm not saying that you should be but if you want to hire me to teach you
How to be it I can
You know, I wasn't here. Did he write that before or after like the Medici's? I when he was like ousted
Machiavelli, I can't remember his thing was after like the whole thing was he was trying to get back in everybody's good graces
I can't remember if it's a medici Medici's but specifically but he was very much like on the out and like trying to get his
Way back in by proving his value. He praised him. Was it Chezare Borgia?
I'm not
He's praising Borgia man. That's getting pretty far down the line. I think he did
I think he praised like I mean to be fair. This is like probably like early career
Maybe it's like oh, it's like praising early Kanye work and then you go
Oh, the second half was like a bit weird. You know what happened?
I don't remember. Is he in the Assassin's Creed 2?
I don't even know that name from Cintu.
Also in history as well.
Fucking listening.
That famous guy from Assassin's Creed 2 and nothing else.
Yeah, yeah.
They were very good about getting historical context for a lot of stuff.
I think that they some of them do a lot of hard work about getting the research right.
And then they turned it into an RPG.
Speaking of soon to be dead. Well, I guess Assassin's Creed's been pretty rough for a while, but Tube Kings aren't quite dead yet.
They're actually about to be doing alright because like I said
Love and fear etc. was all about that. Of course still into the fear.
So as Cody mentioned earlier, murdered all of his kids to prove that he was committed to the gods
because out of all of the priest kings as they were known at the time
He gave, he knew that if he wanted to rule over the people he needed the gods on his side.
Which is always really funny when people in fantasy settings
where the gods are actively involved just kind of forget about them.
I never quite got why that happens.
He just showed up last week.
But such such renew he was in a fantasy setting.
So he made sure to build the temples, ceremonies and you know the kids.
After that with the gods on his side and the people warming up to him
because he was at least getting results his sacrifices and other stuff returned ended a horrible drought.
So people are liking setra more and more. He gets to conquering.
Essentially what happens is setra shows up and demands that you join him.
And if you do you you now follow setra. If you don't your city's going to vanish.
At least until you get the message and surrender and then he'll just kill you
and everyone who fought against him.
A very intimidating magic trick. Like you see a city it's gone.
Speaking of he also taught himself magic.
Solely because it was something he couldn't do and that is quite simply not allowed to happen.
What lord is he mentioning on the scope? Is this your card? Is this your card?
No and he's just terrible when he starts out.
Flips the table when the kid gets the wrong card or something.
What did you ask Cody?
What lore did he learn? I didn't know he taught himself magic. That's cool.
I couldn't find where it's like this what lore it said he learned.
But I know it could have been the in the total war either the lore of Nahakara or lore of light.
I know those are the ones they have available to them in the game.
I didn't see specifically at least I might have just missed it what lore he learned.
But he basically just said I'm a wizard now. This is my thing now.
Isn't he like stunningly average at it though? Isn't that the funny part?
He's not great at it but you know in Warhammer it's not like D&D where if you read books long enough you're a wizard.
You kind of need to have that vibe going for you.
If you look at your interpretation it's like he just says I'm a wizard does random card tricks and pulls out rabbits occasionally.
Nobody argues with him.
You're a wizard etc. I'm a lot.
No one wanted to argue because they get their beheaded.
It's not worth going against him on this issue.
It's a good magic trick is it? Yes my lord. Yes. Definitely.
Wonderful wonderful please don't kill me.
I'm less Harry and more Hermione. He's the Hermione of all the Potter setting. Less Harry.
Harry would be Max Schreiber.
It's Nehekara. Not Nehekara. No that kind of thing.
Oh god people listening to this are going to hate us.
We've said much worse.
We have. We already stated with a 10,000 year old nut at the beginning so it's only gone uphill.
Yeah. But after enough of this he had reunified Nehekara and then he just kept going.
He wasn't just restoring the land. He was going to make it bigger and better than ever.
And his name got to the point where he was feared halfway around the world is the exact sentence I read.
Which if taken literally means that even the elves and dwarves at the height of their power would if they came into conflict with him he won.
Which I don't know about you but I have no issues with this etc.
What happened against the elves?
Listen if it was almost anyone else I'd be like no that's stupid but etc.
It's like I was saying earlier like he's so arrogant and his ego is so massive that he's earned the right to just win.
He tells I know at least in Total War he challenges dark elves if you open diplomacy with him as one to try and match his cruelty.
He is just so awesome.
He's one of those characters that you just go he's so cool I don't care that half of this is so stupid he's just so cool.
It's a special chariot made just to carry his balls next to him because they're so massive.
You said that was such conviction and chest I actually believed you.
It's like the sidecar of a motorcycle.
Take embalmed balls lovely.
And as Cody said his fleets even made it as far as Lustria which is Warhammer South America.
So imagine if Ramsey's the Great or someone just showed up in South America we found records of him hanging out there.
That's what he did because it was land therefore it belonged to him that that was it.
And he was I mentioned the wizard thing but as we said earlier again he was still a man and he realized that not only would he not live long enough to conquer everything which is a major downer for him.
In death his accomplishments as far as he cared would be nothing because he's not around to keep conquering and enjoy his realm.
So he commanded his priests to find the secret of eternal life and founded the Mortuary Cult.
And you know they they did pretty good by the standards of eternal life.
I mean I guess again that's kind of a all or nothing deal but they did keep him alive for hundreds of years.
So it wasn't like he you know he hit 60 and croaked.
But in the end despite them finding out how to use the winds of magic how to keep people alive for much longer they failed.
Pissed but you can't really out will aging.
Setra ordered the construction of the greatest monument ever to be built in the Hecarim.
His burial pyramid because if he has to die he's doing it in style.
Even better than the black pyramid.
Well that's like a arguably.
Ash comes later.
He's actually bigger.
Ash build something specifically bigger than Setra just to kind of dunk on him.
Yeah no that's my bigger my pyramids bigger than yours.
Yeah.
It literally is that way.
Oh my god that's so pesky.
And it was given the finest of words.
What's up.
Sorry I didn't realize your time I said welcome to the tomb.
He said it's so petty and I said welcome to the tomb kings.
Yeah they are very cool very good at what they do.
Oh so petty.
But this pyramid finest of words finest of riches.
If they made the whole thing out of solid gold I'm sure they would have.
But it was just you know just the finest white marble in all of the land.
And he was buried alongside his most trusted soldiers and servants alive as we talked about.
So I always just whatever I think about it I just go I really hoped you don't join the Hecarim army.
When your king is getting up there in the years.
You're going to have a rough one pretty soon if your king's about to pass.
I don't know which is worse being like a veteran or being a brand new like I've just been inducted as his his official shoe shiner.
I'm a week in it's going well.
Wait what's that.
What's that like JCB doing coming towards this big.
I didn't even get to do my job for long.
Get in the pyramid Shinji.
Get in the pit.
I need to call my union after this.
Wait there are no unions.
This is a monarchy.
He was promised that the mortuary cult would continue the research into not only eternal life but resurrecting the dead and granting him a body of solid living gold.
Because Warhammer emperors are tacky.
And after this it is known as the time of kings and the mortuary cult grows.
So after he died no one could quite hold everything together like him.
He was just too awesome for anyone to follow that act up.
And the city states once again became united.
Well you know they did fight every now and then but it was nothing like the time of strife.
It was at least the comparison I thought of was it was more like the Greek city states where there's not usually.
My thesis was on the Peloponnesian war so it did happen.
But there's not usually like massive wars the little skirmishes between the cities.
Borders change a bit and then everyone goes home.
You know Camry needs some more slaves so they're going to go kick someone in the teeth and bring him back home.
That kind of thing.
And the mortuary cult was not idle.
They kept the research going and by the fifth generation of these priests who had been by this point extending their lives very long.
This is when they discovered how to bind their souls to their bodies and remain alive forever.
And they were almost at least they felt able to live forever.
They were not live forever. Bring back the dead.
And something I think is notable is that they weren't.
This isn't technically necromancy.
It kind of is but someone coming up soon is kind of the inventor of it because I unless I again unless I miss something the Dume Kings don't use like dark magic.
That's how necromancy usually kind of works in Warhammer.
They use the darker darker sides of magic.
But the Necrons didn't use that.
So they were able to.
I was going to say does it come from their like Nehikaran gods.
So it's like a kind of.
Yeah.
They kind of skip the skipper like a step.
It's like this slightly cleaner.
This is like filtered necromancy.
Yeah.
They got a filter on the tap.
What I read was they have their own kind of version of the underworld.
So they're sort of welcoming people back from the underworld and then like rebinding those souls back up into the world of living again.
But the dark magic stuff and the Ash learns dark magic from dark elves is my understanding.
Yes.
You're going to get there.
Yeah.
Those fellows are coming soon.
Also if anyone's watching feel free to keep a counter of everything you can blame on Malekith because that counter is pretty much every problem in the Warhammer fantasy world.
It's a.
I'll get to it.
But yeah it's not at all hard to blame him for this too.
Oh but these before that these now Lich priests enjoyed power on paper second only to the royal dynasties themselves in practice.
They were mostly in charge because again secret of eternal life.
Everyone wants to live forever until they think about it too much.
But this is it became the craze as they we discussed earlier.
They realized relatively soon there's a difference between eternal life and eternal youth because the body keeps ticking but the soul isn't.
So they became walking mummies and the entire realm as the Lich priests spread knowledge of their abilities became obsessed with death.
So this is why in at least in the Tomb Kings lore there's you know everything has no skulls and it's all tombs pyramids all that stuff because with the idea that you can live forever.
Death kind of became one of the biggest things they were thinking about.
Cultural cornerstone.
Yeah it got to the point that almost a majority of like the treasury I guess like their resources were being devoted to maintaining and creating these monuments to death.
I love that there are so many skulls in Warhammer that eventually the company was like do we need to come up with a lore reason why we need to come up with a camp there.
That's a lot of skulls.
So what we need to figure this out we painted 50 of them on this map. Why are they there.
They explain it in the the one of the Warhammer books isn't it is the the 40k Horus heresy master of mankind isn't like the 40k verse they explain why there's a skull everywhere.
So it's like the Emperor held like a skull the Emperor essentially held his like his dad's skull when he was a kid. I don't know what this like a Warhammer moment maybe for that.
They were big fans of the role fans of Hamlet.
I hope they're using all the other bones they like femurs like oh not another femur I've got loads of them then are useless can't put them on anything can't put them on like chairs it's all skulls these days premium ear bones.
Make a keychain rubbish.
And we're just really discussing bone fashion it's a Tomb King video so.
They're kind of linked and these pyramids. It was kind of weird because on the one hand, no one wants to build a bigger pyramid than setras both out of respect and fear that the sheer audacity of doing that would be enough to bring him back to slap you into the dirt.
But they wanted them bigger than the guy who came before them so I like to imagine they had to get creative at some point, like one guy built his upside down one guy just, it's like one story tall but it's really wide.
One guy like dug underneath another guy so it's like a tape measure, making sure like the distance between, like setras and the other guys it's like a millimeter is like if I can do point five of a millimeter I can just say I've got it bigger than his quarter of a
pebble and I'll be good.
It's basically like a friend's Minecraft server.
I'm going nuts with it yeah.
And you know, this is, you know the lesser nobles got into this, the warriors were being rewarded with eternal life as well, being bound to the ushabdies the constructs like was mentioned earlier, and very morbid, but this is still one of the most prosperous times of
Cambrian history, or all of Nehekero really.
And then it's time for the second evilest dude in all of Warhammer to make his grand entrance.
Second only to every skaven who ever lived ever.
They all fight for the title of first place.
You know I was about to argue with you about that but as soon as you said the skaven was like oh no no he's right.
You know, any, any, what, the evil though is they just pure instinct of just like I just want to live and I want to survive and eat and yeah is that like this is not malicious is it's just they're, they're just hardwired to be annoying.
I think just for reference on that there's a, as the skaven, if you build the max level gold mine in total war the description is, I have this memorized because it's so funny, although they have no use for it personally, the skaven will mine gold purely to inconvenience the other races.
Yeah.
That's like an annoying little brother rather than like you know Vlad the Impaler you know.
Well they also built nukes and use them frequently. Yeah, but if a toddler could do that they probably do it just because they're brats. What, what, what, what do you think?
Yo, what?
I don't know, I'm just trying to justify my point somehow.
What are the ones in the UK are pharaohs. What are UK children like?
I guess I have Lord of the Flies.
Article or Reddit post somewhere I came across years ago. And one of the questions in it was, okay so skaven are terrible right? So if someone took a skaven orphan and raised them by humans, would they still be evil or not?
Like this thread went on and on and on to the point that I couldn't tell if it was based on a short story or someone came up with it, but I mean people have had the how evil are the skaven discussion for years.
We've been on the internet too long.
We started getting to these. Oh my lord. I just I just I linked this that that image of like raising a skaven with the the seminal movie Cats vs Dogs where there's the bit where the evil cats wearing a bonnet goes evil does not wear a bonnet.
I'm just imagining a skaven doing that now.
If nothing.
If nothing. If nothing else Andy and Hal.
The way skaven are born.
Just imagine industrial scale da monke laba.
Oh, yeah, it's not great. I'm ready.
It's not great.
Moving on to second place in evil in the evil land in the Hecarim Royal culture.
The firstborn child, unlike everyone else ever is not the guy who's in charge.
They go to the mortuary cult to become a lich priest.
The secondborn rules and thus Nagash became a lich priest and his brother Thutep took the crown after their father passed.
Like Cetra, as that two sides of the same coin. That was a really good point earlier.
They he was a power hungry egomaniac. Unlike Cetra did not care for the love part of feared and loved.
He was even once briefly given command of an army in a city when the general in charge of the campaign was killed, but was not only removed from power.
Once the situation was sorted out, but his name was removed from the history books. He was only referred to as a great leader.
So Nagash not only wasn't allowed to be king, not only had all the things he done taken away from him, but he had a taste of power and by God, did he want it back.
One night, though, his luck turned for the better and everyone else on the planet for the worse.
When a trio of dark elves were captured and brought to be sacrificed, Nagash told everyone, you know, he's a high priest.
He's a he'll gladly take over the sacrificial rights and all that stuff.
And then he just took off and locked him in his basement.
And he told them that they could either teach him dark magic or they can die.
And they were a lot more willing to help this human out with with those terms.
And I mentioned Malekith earlier, I believe that these are the same elves that started the War of the Beard with the murder of the dwarf caravans.
Oh, so they deserved it.
Well, I mean, I mean, they're dark elves.
They're they all deserve it.
But yeah, so there there's the other counter for Malekith doing everything wrong.
We've got destroying the elves, we've got having the dwarves and elves destroy each other and we have the cash.
So thank you, Malekith, for just being the worst.
I mean, Malekith all over the setting.
Yeah. Yeah.
That phrase was in the Bretonnia, though.
He's actually oh, God, I didn't even think about that.
Actually, technically, yes, because the reason that Bretonnia and much of the human lands in the setting used to be high elven colonies.
And because of the War of the Beard and the following dark elf invasion of Ulthuan, all of the colonists were called back.
And the ones that didn't went to Athel Loren and the proto Bretonians learned about horse riding by watching high elven silver helms in battle.
So you have them influencing Bretonnia and then you have Athel Loren being like elf Illuminati for Bretonnia.
The always sunny meme where he has the red string and he's just like connecting all the dots.
I've had my eye open right here.
Wow, Malekith really just is the worst.
You're right. He's responsible for Bretonnia.
When you put it that way, as soon as you say, he's like, yeah, you recalled all the lands.
That was a complete show on the dot.
That was just for funny points.
And I've done something profound.
Andy, who knows nothing about Warhammer lore as a war offender.
Pure chaos.
My it's a moment of enlightenment has just been reached.
But if you give a million monkeys typewriters, they write Shakespeare.
I did the same method there.
Pretty much.
So these elves taught him dark magic and eventually they tried to escape and Nagash killed them in a magical duel.
So after just a relatively short time of using them to learn, he was already able to beat dark elves who, you know, I know you don't like them, Andy, but elves are good at magic.
And the gash pretty quickly was able to take them on at that, too.
So Nagash brilliant, awful, but he is pretty damn smart.
And in fact, he became one of the only humans in history to learn to be able to wield dark magic and more or less its raw unfiltered form.
Usually humans can't do that in Warhammer.
They got to use one of the schools of magic, only one lore rather than just all of it.
And after this, he decided that now it's time for step two, which was to corrupt the mortuary cult and gain followers, most notably Arc in the Black, who is called that because he had black rotted teeth when he was a human and not a skeleton.
He was a big fan of it's not chewing tobacco, but it's that root.
Yeah, yeah.
The black root, I think.
Where was he?
Where was he from?
Was he Norsca?
No, he's he's also a Nehekaron.
I think.
Ah, so Nehekaron didn't have any Colgate.
It was just like we don't brush our teeth around here.
Well, he was also noted as being exceptionally foul as a loper, like not even like awful, just like it was gross to be around Arcann.
So there's two interpretations on that one. One is awful dental hygiene. Two, have you ever seen the movie Black Hawk Down?
Yeah.
Yep. Right. So there's actually a type of root that local people in Ethiopia and stuff would chew at the time that would stain the teeth.
But it also has like some hallucinogenic properties.
So there's an argument whether or not he was chewing it because he has, you know, terrible dental hygiene or sort of why those two kind of go together there.
So it's tough sometimes to know what the writers were thinking about when they wrote that, because it's only like a sentence, you know.
Yeah.
Oh, I also haven't seen Black Hawk Down.
There's another one for the counter.
Well, that hasn't seen any of it.
Colin hasn't watched.
He has watched the Dark Father.
He's definitely seen Sordar online.
I have not. Oh, my God.
I've not seen that.
I never will.
I've never seen.
I've never seen all the Dragon Ball GT. I mean, like, there's actually a top 100 list. You can just work your way through it.
I know I could.
We did have a comment, by the way, that said, I need to watch Dragon Ball if you watch the Godfather.
I think that was the challenge.
Well, now I have some motivation.
Other than constantly.
Oh, God. Back to Warhammer. I'm getting clowned on too much.
So after he got his followers, he cannot do anything that isn't evil.
So he slaughtered his brother's bodyguard in a single night and buried his brother alive.
So great guy.
That wasn't enough.
So he forcibly took his wife's hand in marriage, his brother's wife's hand in marriage and crowned himself king.
Literally.
What?
Are you saying he was terrible at first? I was like, do you mean he married her? He's like, cut her hand off and was like, marry me or I'll do this.
No. Although, as you can imagine, he was all kinds of abusive.
So he's again, just the worst.
Later, he doubled down on that by murdering his brother's wife, which also had a side effect of breaking a covenant with the Nehekeren gods and causing them to more or less abandon their people.
So it is he is speed running worst human being on in existence.
We get to his black pyramid built out of black marble, specifically to be bigger than setras, because it is an ego contest with the Tomb Kings at every possible moment.
And he, unlike the other pyramids, which were given the nice, lovely kind of magic, Nagesh had dark, evil, brooding 2001 Hot Topic goth magic wards all over his pyramid.
And then he went to conquering because, of course, he did.
If you didn't pay tribute to him, you were brutally conquered and enslaved.
If you did pay tribute to him when he asked, you were just just brutally enslaved.
Just collecting war crimes like their Pokemon cards. I need that one.
Pretty. It's it's the Geneva checklist for Nagesh is what it is.
Evil bingo.
Speaking of, he's the great necromancer is one of his names with good reason, as with him for the first time in the world's history, skeletons and the undead were raised to be the bulk of his forces.
So that's he's the first and greatest necromancer, which keeps going even when he's dead.
So very committed to his work.
Books of Nagesh.
Oh, yeah. He I don't believe I can't believe I almost skipped over that.
He wrote nine books, of course, titled The Nine Books of Nagesh because ego outweighs creativity for these people.
And they were the just the combined knowledge of everything he had learned. And I think another Harry Potter reference he did.
He put a little bit of himself in each of the books.
And the end result of that was no one but him could get the full like their full worth out of it, which one keeps other people from growing too powerful and makes them dependent on him.
Because if you want all the secrets, you need to get himself.
I just like the fact that is like, oh, he was like he was a general.
He was a war criminal, blah, blah, blah.
And also like novelists like he's he's you know, he's a hacker at times.
Bestseller author just like, yeah, sold a million copies.
Everyone loves my books. He's not.
He's very prolific. Everything he does is evil.
But, you know, he does a little bit of everything.
It took after just enough of this crap.
It took seven kings to combine their seven armies.
I couldn't figure out a way to write an actually good seven nations army joke.
So there's the reference. I'll just throw it up like a Duke Nukem.
That awful game and just point at it and go, yes, there's the reference.
He assembled them like the white stripes.
That's the band. Yep.
And because of all of this fighting or not, pardon me, I brain meltdown again.
It happens a lot with this seven nation army, seven king army.
They were finally able to drive out Nagash.
And this is one of those, as Cody mentioned earlier, those funky lore bits where there was some retcons and interpretations.
The one is that Arkhan sacrificed himself to allow Nagash to retreat.
Another said they kidnapped him and brought him to Lamia.
But either way, they're out of the picture for now.
Because though Nagash is gone, not dead, very notably gone, his workings had still corrupted the land horribly.
The Age of Strife pretty much began again because war game has to happen as disease, famine and marauders plagued the land once again.
It took centuries for these kings to recover the resources and population because everything was thrown at Nagash to get rid of him because he is just that awful.
So not only, you know, the treasury is empty, there's no people left.
But after hundreds of years, we get to the second greatest and last king of Nehekara, Al-Qaedazar.
He rose to power and Nehekara, it's like the, you know, there's the gold age, the silver age.
This is like the bronze age. It's been better. We're doing okay. We're doing pretty good still.
He told the mortuary cult, if you deviate at all, I am going to bring the hammer down because the last time you deviated from your rituals, we got skeleton Hitler.
So they're going to make sure that the priests are reigned in for the first time in thousands of years.
And, you know, naturally, everything was going well until it wasn't.
Because that city of Lamia, some of those nobles were very corrupt.
The city, just for reference, is on the eastern edge of Nehekara.
It's a coastal city that even was one of the places that traded with Cathay when it finally popped up in their history.
And, you know, even imported gunpowder, which I think that's pretty cool.
And again, leaders horribly corrupt and saw in the Gashas' teachings the ability to sever the reliance on the mortuary cult once and for all and get eternal youth, not just eternal life.
Because again, hard to want to live forever if by 200 years in you're just a skeleton.
They haven't discovered Botox yet, so they still look a bit weird.
No, Botox, the highest tech they ever got to was the Renaissance. Botox were still a couple thousand years out, I'm afraid.
Just like terrible Tomb King like dating profiles. Just being like, oh god, I want this guy. He says he's 35, but he's 300 as well.
He's 35 hundred.
What was the city again, the coastal city called?
Lamia.
Lamia Shore.
There you go.
Oh god.
Jersey Shore. That was a, that was something.
And the queen of Lamia, Neferada.
She became the first vampire and spread it around to her closest friends who would become the origin point of the vampire bloodlines in Warhammer.
Which again, if we go back to that, we can blame Malekith for vampires too in kind of a disconnected way.
Really just is the worst.
And spread it around is the right word right there, because the actual way of getting vampirism is really not not particularly detailed.
So think about it like an STD, Bloodborne STD. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no.
The fluids are being exchanged somehow.
Yeah.
And it's probably not pleasant.
I guess it's not really a spoiler anymore because CA released her in the game. I know Ulrica's transformation wasn't too detailed in the books.
It was described as she pretty much was just blacked out.
And then when she woke up, she was real hungry, except food wasn't cut in it anymore.
And so with this, we now have vampires, be it from depending on which interpretation you want.
Neferada reading into Nagash's research and trying to recreate the Elixir of Life and failing.
Or Arken doing his best and still failing because he's not Nagash.
And all this time they were secretly guided by Nagash himself from his new city of Nagash's are.
Every time I say that, I want to laugh a bit because it's so arrogant.
Such a power of Nagash.
You know, I guess.
I always ask a question right there.
Of course.
Every time I read that little bit of lore, I'm like, I'm sorry, what?
It definitely comes across.
And then he's like, and then I was pulling the strings all along.
What was he doing right there?
It's like, oh, they were doing his plan.
He was mystically guiding them from beyond with magic.
I think another interpretation I read, a possibility of the lore is that when the vampires first tried to contact him,
he basically gave the guy a brain aneurysm and then staked him through the heart for 20 years.
And then he realized, oh, these vampires could be really useful servants.
So depending again on which lore you want to go with, he could have been secretly guiding him in the five dimensional chess game he was playing.
Or he just basically tripped into a bunch of superheroes or supervillain servants to have.
Notably also, the vampires don't really have most of the weaknesses they have yet because Nagash gave them to them for failing him later on.
But they do.
They just have a thirst for blood.
They can still go out in the sun.
But with this, moving forward to the Tomb Kings, they are.
They're mighty vampires of Warhammer, even the most scholarly, shudden wizard vampire can still rip a man in half.
When it's one city of them versus all of Nahecara, they're going to lose because you might be able to arm wrestle the night.
You can't arm wrestle the Sphinx.
That's going to put you down.
So the vampires were driven out and forced north into Nagash's waiting arms.
I was almost going to say loving embrace.
I could not bring myself to say that.
Yeah, it's a different kind of loving.
Yeah.
Driving them out, as I said, only led to them becoming his direct servants now instead of mystical.
Maybe they are.
Maybe he's just full of it.
And Nagash, the battle, you know, the war round two is ready to go.
And they were fiercer than ever before because Nagash was now not even fighting to rule.
He was just fighting to just kill, just ruin everyone else.
The river Vitae, the not Nile, was poisoned and later renamed the Great Mortis River because it doesn't give life anymore.
You drink that water, you're probably going to die.
Is it like the water in Flint?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Is that a correct reference? I don't know.
I know.
I mean, you're not wrong. It's just like really messed up thing to say.
Is it? I don't know. Apologies.
All I know is people joke about the water in Flint.
I don't know what the water in Flint is like.
Very tainted.
Oh, OK.
Apologies to anyone from Flint, Michigan.
What is happening?
The woods reference or something? I'm not sure what's going on.
Different side of the pond here, so a bit lost.
City with very tainted drinking water.
Think about it like one of the plagues of Egypt, where the Nile turned into blood, right?
And so everybody that drinks from it kills everything around it. More like that.
Yeah.
Damn.
That's a better reference.
Oh, well, live and learn hell.
And despite the ferocity of the battle, the Tomb Kings were, I mean, it's still scary fighting the undead, but this was the second time he was back.
So they had a bit more experience.
Despite that, Al-Qaeda's are was captured and brought back to Nagash's are the wonderful city of Nagash founded by Nagash love Nagash.
And it was time for his greatest ritual yet.
Raise every single corpse on the planet under his control.
Elf, dwarf, orc, probably a lot of skaven because they die every three seconds.
Didn't matter. They were all going to be under his control.
And this was by this point after the elves and the dwarfs had their big old punch up.
So there's a lot of corpses all over the place now.
Al-Qaeda's are was kept alive pretty much just to suffer and watch his kingdom be erased.
And surely enough, Nagash started with Nehekara.
And in the blink of an eye, everything that was alive just wasn't anymore.
There was still desert in it, but it was still decently green and verdant.
There were waterfalls, oasis, that kind of stuff.
Now, none of that. It's all dead.
Before he could finish, however, we had...
What did you say earlier, Cody?
Deus ex skaven.
Because the skaven, very self-centered, but sometimes you can still be helping everyone out by being selfish.
Because everything on the planet, including the skaven, would have been conquered by him.
So they freed Al-Qaeda's are from his bindings, gave him a warpstone sword and a pad on the back,
and helped him defeat Nagash once and for all.
Except not really, only kind of, but don't worry about that.
The great necromancer was slain and Al-Qaeda's are, now rule of a dead realm, faded from history.
Were we talking about that on an episode, Hal?
Where we're like, the conga line of skaven they must have had to get the Fel Plane of Al-Qaeda's are?
Yeah, like, off the baton, isn't it?
Just because it's so pure warpstone and evil and horrible that even the skaven couldn't hold it for long.
And they usually have no trouble holding that stuff.
The idea like, like a stadium level of like, skaven left in the beginning and then like one of them made it towards the end.
I was thinking of the Olympic torch, where they like, they relay across the world for some stupid reason.
Like, oh we gotta move the flame! And then it's just with skaven.
And then the wind like, blows it out.
Yeah, yeah.
Or something.
They dropped it on the way, so now they gotta go make a new one.
Whenever I think about that final dagger at the end, it's just like drunken pin the tail on the donkey.
You can almost see him like, putting it in his hand.
And they're like, trying to guide the guy over there, because he's falling over, because he's completely emaciated.
And you can't even barely hold the thing.
Been tortured, you're like, go get him bud, you got this one.
They even, I think, they had some of the greysiers holding off the worst of Nagash's magics.
If otherwise, Nagash probably would have just zapped Alcadizar, and they'd be like, alright, well problem done.
Which, hey, the only, in any way, generous thing the skaven have ever done.
And with that...
I can finally ask something.
Cody, was Alcadizar a vampire?
We couldn't remember this part.
Did like, what's the name? Who's the first vampire? The lady?
Neferada.
Did she turn Alcadizar into a vampire or not?
I can't think of anything.
No, they're two different cities.
Yeah.
So I don't think she did.
He's just like the ruler of Kimri, he's just like a regular guy.
Damn. I thought he was like, captured by her or something.
He may have been at some point.
But Vlad, Vlad von Karstein started off as a Lamean vampire.
Hashtag VladdyDaddy.
And then he went around the world and ended up in not Romania.
Totally not Romania.
Definitely not.
Don't, just don't put the Tran in front of Sylvania.
And this can be a completely original creation.
Don't put the Tran in front of God.
Well, it's just Sylvania.
But then something funny happened because his ritual wasn't successful,
but he's such a powerful necromancer and just very good at that,
that people just kind of started standing back up.
So they died and then they got back up.
And it was weird because at least according to what I read,
some of them who had just died stood back up.
They still had all the meaty bits attached.
They were like, what?
But some people had been dead for quite some time.
And they rose as nothing but skeletons.
And as the time went on, the body's dead, none of the systems are functioning.
They're animated, but the heart and blood's not pumping.
So even the people who still had flesh over time had it stripped from their bones
and degraded into the not-but-skeletons as well.
And the most interesting of those fellas were those kings buried in the pyramid
because they were still affected by it,
but the warnings on the pyramids kept the Tomb Kings from just succumbing
to either Nagash's will or just mindless undead.
Their bodies shriveled mummies.
Their minds wholly intact.
They were pretty horrified as they saw that everything they
and their ancestors had worked so hard to build was just sand-covered ruins now.
It gets worse because now you have just dozens of generations of kings all going,
hey, I'm in charge.
And then the guy below and after says, no, I'm in charge.
So I guess...
Necrons.
Yeah.
Necrons.
Well, Tomb Kings came first.
Necrons are Tomb Kings.
Fair enough.
So, you know, in this analogy, Cody would be angry at Andy
because Andy threw the throne away to make room for more pyramids.
Andy would be angry at Hal because Hal signed a peace deal with, I don't know,
your greatest enemy for the sole purpose of just...
I don't know.
He just was done fighting, but that's a horrible dishonor.
Yeah, just to see what would happen in the afterlife when you finally met.
Hal's angry at me for having the gall to switch...
Not watch Sword Art Online.
Yeah, we'll go with that, I guess.
First season's pretty good.
True.
Then it goes downhill significantly.
I couldn't vouch either way.
I've just heard it's awful and I'm repeating the opinion.
Honestly, you're probably better off not watching it.
You've got time to not wait on that.
I can do anything else.
Learn a language and not watch Sword Art Online.
And the reborn mortuary cult is now in a new situation
because suddenly that trump card of granting people immortality
didn't mean anything because they're all immortal now.
So, in order to try and restore some semblance of order
as not only is every city fighting itself
with forever respawning armies
because they just stand back up after enough time passes,
they're now in fighting too
because all of those generations of kings all want to be king.
So Grand Hierophant Katep, which, God, is that an awesome title,
did something drastic.
He woke up Setra, who was just pyramid,
because he's Setra, he's so cool, he had the bestest of the pyramids,
the wardings were the best of them all, the greatest of them all,
and even Nagash's magic couldn't get through that.
His first order of business was to sit down and listen to Katep
explain how tremendously awful everything had gone down.
After that, he kicked Katep out until he could find the secret
to getting him that golden body he really wanted.
And then after that, he just started doing what he did the first time.
He marched around Nehekhara and just started beating Tomb Kings to a pulp
until they came to a sort of agreement.
You can still fight each other, especially because your soldiers just come back
if you wait long enough, they just reanimate,
but if I call you for something, you better answer.
And those who refused this deal were turned into
self-replenishing catapult ammunition,
because the skull would reanimate, so they would light it on fire
and then launch it at someone.
They made them into the enemies from Doom, the big flying, fiery skulls.
Yeah, that's what you get for disobeying Setra.
And we get to the Tomb Kings as they are now, and something, at least,
again, I've noticed is that while much, you know, in the modern setting,
they're the Tomb Kings, most of the new dynamic things of the lore
were happening when they were still people.
Once they become mummies, they kind of set on to a pattern
of how they generally behave and what they do.
So there's a couple different things that started happening.
So, Lich Priests were commanded to watch over tombs
and assist any kings who either had not awoken for whatever reason
or returned to slumber for one reason or another.
Setra demanded that, once again, Nehekara not only be restored to its former glory,
but expanded beyond ever before, because now he finally has
what he wanted most, forever to conquer everything.
And at one point, Cody mentioned this story earlier,
some Norscans decided to raid Nehekara, Khemri,
and he got a mutual kill with the Norscan, the Chaos Lord.
Of course, Setra's, you know, he just had to respawn,
so it didn't mean quite as much on that end.
But, out of the entire army, twelve Norscans survived
and took off with all of the loot they could carry.
So Setra got back up eventually and saw that his crown was gone.
That was the most valuable thing, of course.
And so he calmly and collectively sailed all the way from Egypt to Sweden
and burned it to the ground until he got all of his stuff back.
Isn't that the crown that, like, prevents spells from,
like, they redirect spells or something?
Like, it basically makes him pretty OP.
I believe...
Are you saying he's got an UNO reverse card crown or something?
Of course he...
I don't know, one of his abilities is, like...
Is it Intotable as well? Like, his crown helps with, like, um...
Spell resistance and stuff, I think so, yeah.
I know that it was just...
I think it was a specific item back in the army book as well.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, they are.
And most importantly, it's Setra's.
So even if it was just a rock, it would have been like,
no, I'm taking that back.
So one of the very few invasions of the Chaos Wastes to begin with,
a resounding success, and it was motivated solely by
him wanting his stuff back.
They just left after the fact.
They didn't state a cleansed of chaos or anything like,
right, got my stuff, I'm out.
Yeah, it wasn't a war, it was a repo.
It was just like, I'm doing a repossession of my things.
Come here, get that back.
He burned half of Norsca to the ground and then just left.
Did they still...
Oh, so, go ahead, Cudi, sorry?
I love that it's basically the plot of Pirates of the Caribbean.
Someone stole all his gold coins and he refuses,
like these dead guys refuse to do anything else until they've killed
everyone that had those coins and they have them all back in their possession.
I was going to say they stole his plug-in USB rock,
even if you get Pet Rock.
That's the most valuable possession.
They stole Setra Jr., the replacement for Setra Jr.
Oh, I have no... I sacrifice all my kids,
but the Pet Rock, where's the Pet Rock?
Yep, and that's kind of the general thing the Tube Kings were up to.
I know we also mentioned this earlier.
As much as we try to ignore it, I'm very afraid, Cudi,
covering the lore and the lore has an end, unfortunately.
It doesn't, though.
Does it, I mean, or can we say that the lore really ended after the...
Wow.
Oh, my God, what's the thing where...
Storm of Chaos?
Storm of Chaos, thank you. Yes, that was it.
Can I re-say that sentence and pretend that...
Take two.
I mean, does it, though, or can we just pretend
that Warhammer just stopped after Storm of Chaos?
I would love to do that,
but I do have...
It's Setra's awesome ending.
Yep. I do, however, have a...
Elf-scent that I am, I do have a bit of dwarf in me,
and that there's nothing I love more than complaining
about how things were done before.
Or complaining in general.
But before I subject everyone to that,
a little bit just about how they act now that they're undead
and have all of eternity to do whatever they want.
Unless they're called upon by Setra,
they pretty much just answer to their own whims and needs.
And so there's not really one consistent way that they act,
which is even a mechanic in Total Warhammer,
because I don't think, even against Chaos,
they don't have any penalties, do they?
I don't think they do?
They'd be immune to psychology if they had it, I don't know.
I mean, like, the diplomatic relations.
I know pretty much every faction,
like the Tomb Kings are completely neutral to them.
Like, it could be Chaos, Dwarves, Orcs, don't care.
All they care about is power.
You're beneath them.
Oh, yeah. Everyone is equally beneath them.
They don't care.
So there's, you know... But that being said,
there are a few generalizations you can make.
One for every race is that if you take their stuff,
they're going to slaughter their way towards you
until they get it back.
And since they respawn and they have a lot of big constructs,
Hyra Titans, Finks's, and again, unending legions of Skeleton Warriors,
they're probably going to get their stuff back.
As for, you know, humans,
humans mostly fear and dislike them on the rare occasions they do have contact,
because, especially in the Empire,
undeath is pretty much the worst thing you can do
short of openly worshipping Chaos in the middle of the town square.
But they have been known to work together,
such as where else but Gottrick and Felix,
when Felix was forcibly recruited to help out,
I believe it was Kalida.
She had kind of an inner... Oh, that also brings me to that point.
Shout out to her, the intermediary Kalida was using,
who was thirsty for some Felix.
Yeah, the...
Gottrick even said that if she wasn't 3,000 years dead by this point,
he would marry the two and Felix did not have a say in the matter.
Which I don't even know why that's part of the story,
but it is and it's pretty funny
that out of Felix is just so rizzed out
that even mummies can't help but fall for him.
Hashtag Marrowmummy, there we go.
There it is, there's the hashtag.
And yeah, there was even there was another Tomb King
who was just so belligerent and full of himself.
Another common trend if you haven't noticed by this point.
He came about as close to being friends with Gottrick as you can be
if your name isn't Felix or Snorri.
So hey, Tomb Kings, they can make friends.
High Elves, they don't really care much.
They both go, oh, you're both beneath me
because they're Elves and the Tomb King,
so they're both having an arrogant off.
Though sometimes they do go to Nahakara to build and repair waystones.
Setra even once was so kind as to allow him
or allow the High Elves to help him repel a demon army.
And just to show that he's such, you know, really just a great ruler,
he generously allowed them to live and leave his land
without all being executed for trespassing on his property.
You know, he can be a nice guy when he needs to be.
Different interpretation of nice then, huh?
Listen, Setra.
He's allowed to get away with everything
because he's Setra the Imperishable.
He's like the Clint Eastwood character in that film.
In Gran Torino, where he's just going to get off my lawn.
Yeah, get off my lawn.
Pretty much.
I'll be a cool voice for him as well.
As for the dwarfs, usually negative,
but that's not strictly due to...
It's mostly because the dwarfs do not treat human ancestors
in their tombs with the same reverence
as they treat their own ancestors' tombs and stuff.
So a dwarf will loot a tomb king's burial mound,
and then the guy wakes up and then goes to hunt down the dwarf.
And then that conflict gets written into the Book of Grudges.
So now there's more fighting between the tomb kings and dwarfs,
which leads to more stolen goods,
which leads to more grudges just on and on and on and on.
Although of note, they don't, strictly speaking, hate them for being undead,
like they do vampires,
because the tomb kings usually don't seek...
Alright, well, compared to vampires, they're not seeking out conflict.
And they acknowledge that the tomb kings...
Not their fault.
They didn't ask to be undead, it just kind of happened.
Dark elves, they're usually negative,
but just because of the sheer distance between Naggaroth and Nehekhara,
don't really fight too often.
Greenskins hunt them for sport.
Demons, they hunt them for sport.
Chaos worshippers hunt them for sport and to retrieve their stuff.
Tomb kings at this point, they're really just enjoying immortality
by keeping themselves busy,
because their bodies don't work anymore,
and there's only so many things to do,
so they just try and get out and pretty much enjoy the world.
To be clear, there is one thing they cannot do,
which is the thing you are all thinking of right now.
Part of having to do these videos is you have to do some really weird research,
and I made a joke one time,
which is basically, Settra came back because he had the biggest, you know,
kick of everybody around,
and so he had to slap everybody around with it and put them back in their tombs.
And I was like, well, hold on, he's mummified, right?
Okay, yeah, no, they actually chop all that off and put it in a jar.
So, okay, well, that joke doesn't really work, does it?
Yeah.
Settra's imperishable penis in a jar.
No, no.
Yeah, so they, like, simple pleasures don't really do it for them,
which is why demon hunting is a sport,
because you got to think big,
because if you don't, you're going to probably go insane.
Not that plenty of them aren't completely insane.
And a little fun fact, another Gottrick and Felix little tidbit of lore,
there's a tomb king that is very heavily implied to just be a dwarf skeleton
that somehow, like, I think what it was was they found this dwarf floating down the river
and raised him as royalty,
but either due to lack of knowledge about what a dwarf is
or just not wanting to break it to him,
he thought he was just a short human.
Like, I think one of the lines is the,
he was blessed by the gods with mighty strength,
and his short stature is a result of all the power he holds within.
He has the mightiest center of gravity that anyone else has made him short.
And sure enough, he loves building things,
he loves making strong fortifications for the cities.
It's, I think Felix even goes, like, to say, like, isn't he just a...
And then he gets cut off by something.
This is, like, literally the meme, like, shout to my shortkicks.
Like, this is literally...
Hey, this guy was a short king.
I'm guessing if he's a skeleton, he doesn't have a beard, he can grow,
so that's also a way he can't identify himself as a dwarf.
Yeah.
But now...
Are there any questions before I move on to the bad times?
The end crimes?
I assume that dwarf beards were so robust that they just, like,
grafted into the skull that even after death, you'll have a beard.
You know, I don't remember if...
I think he might have had the chin beard thing,
and I'm pretty sure his was, like, very big.
So I think he did still manage to have a beard even in death.
And it was glorious, just to point that out.
Of course.
Some things, you know, you can take the beard off the dwarf,
but you can't take the dwarf off the beard.
Unless you start a war over it.
Well, yeah, that's a very good point.
Unless you want to start fantasy World War I.
I've got a weird question about Tomb Kings, by the way.
Shoot.
So do they actually, like, feel...
Like, do they feel sensations like pain or hunger or touch or anything?
Because I'm assuming, like, the magic might dull some of that,
so they're not like, I'm in agony all the time
because I'm a dehydrated prune with andages, you know?
They do not.
I think there's even...
Oh, what's up, Cody? Sorry.
Oh, he's agreeing with you. Go ahead, sorry.
Oh, no worries.
Yeah, I think there's even a line in Total War, where one of them is like,
if you have positive relations with them, they go,
I forget the pleasures of the flesh.
What can I do for you?
So, no, they do not feel.
Although...
Yeah, it's like they have the emotions, you know?
Because you get an emotional reaction to things you like, you dislike, things like that.
But as far as, like, the tactile ability of, like, you know,
touching or feeling or whatever else, you know,
they're missing a lot of the neurons necessary.
It really is like a reference to the Pirates of the Caribbean,
where he says, I feel nothing, not the wind on my face.
You best start believing in ghost stories, Karl Franz.
You're in one.
Although, they do still have senses of humor.
And I know that because in that Gottrick and Felix book,
the way they recruit Felix and Gottrick is...
I'm saying that the other way, it doesn't sound right.
But the way they recruit them is,
Felix gets this magical amulet strapped on his arm
that after, like, a week or however long it was,
it will eject him with poison.
And believe it or not, they...
I believe they actually fail to complete the mission in time.
Like, they're just making it back in time to get it removed,
but they don't make it.
And then Felix gets a little prick, and then nothing happens.
And I think Kali herself is like,
oh, no, poison's, like, dried away centuries ago.
I just wanted to screw with you.
Isn't that the plot from, like, Escape from L.A.
or Escape from New York with friggin' Kurt Russell?
Oh, my God.
Jesus.
There, Warhammer's mostly full of, like,
I've copied someone else's homework.
Oh, they do.
It seems like they don't do it maliciously.
They're clearly, you know, nerds and dorks.
They're fans of this stuff,
and so they litter it with references.
But as soon as you said that, I was like, oh, man, I know that movie.
I was thinking of 24,
like, the idea of they're going on the mission,
and all you hear is, like, clink, clink, clink.
It's like you've already got so much time to get the mission done
or die hard free.
He was living that week of his life in pure terror
over the fact that, like, now he has a deadline beyond, like,
this thing's going to kill me if I don't kill it.
And the moment he gets back, he's like,
oh, no, I was just screwing with you completely, 110%.
Uh, which, God, that's aw- I love that bit.
Uh, and, uh, now it's time
to be unhappy.
And crimes.
You get the greatest one-liner in history, though.
You get to stay in a minute, though.
So that's the thing. There is an upside to this.
Yes, that is very true. That's the funny thing.
The more I, like, look at the end times,
the more I go, like, there's some really cool individual moments.
Uh, it's just- it's balanced out by the sheer amount of horrible moments
and just overall end times.
Uh, but to start it,
the end time starts off with the book about Nagash.
And Settra gets wind that Nagash is, uh, coming back,
and this time coming back properly.
Uh, because actually he's come back a few times before,
and every time they do, the two kings are on, like, DEFCON 1.
But this time he came back hard.
Yeah, this- oh, this- he came back harder than ever before.
Uh, also just so I can keep putting it off.
Uh, there's two reasons as to why
he actually kept coming back weaker every time before this one.
Uh, the- I think the most modern reason is that the blade El Khadizar stabbed him with
was so corrupted that it drained his soul even in death.
Uh, in old lore, all of the people he killed used to just gather around
and beat the shit out of his soul.
Every time he died and went to the afterlife,
they just- they just took turns kicking him.
Like, he's like a little kid in the lunch hall.
It's just like, yeah, the three people just kicking him.
Yeah, they're just stomping him while he's down.
Although, you know-
I understand his problem.
I mean, there's only so many times you can come back
before you need to, you know, lie down, maybe have a snack,
and then come back and try again, you know?
Yeah, man.
But, uh, you know, these- these thousands of years old,
it takes a lot to get up at that point.
Uh, this is like a really- before we get into it, it's like a sidetrack.
Didn't they used to, like- you know, I said, like, the mistletoe-
I'm thinking earlier, it's been stuck in my head, like,
because Setsuro's got a really good tagline.
I don't want to say it yet.
But obviously, he's not very good at, like, saying being a host.
I'll promise I'll reference this later.
But I imagine, like, the other jar, which has his junk in it,
I just imagine someone making, like, a- like a meal, like a tea or something,
and they accidentally go into the wrong jar.
Oh, God.
Yeah, like, what's in this mistletoe jar?
Oh, it seems all right. I'll try that.
And he's like, oh, can you go get my, uh, you know, my junk jar?
And it's like, what- what do you mean, the junk jar?
Like, who went into the junk jar?
Oh, God. So I've been in my head for ages.
I also-
Or is it like, go ahead, sorry?
Oh, sorry. I'll finish up, sorry.
Oh, like, don't they do all mummies?
Like, they just, um, when they cut the, uh, junk off,
they essentially give, like, a fake gold one.
So I imagine Setsuro probably has a fake gold one.
Yeah. So they would- and they would shape it specifically
so it was always pointing upwards in the large golden facsimile.
Always ready to go.
Praise the sunning.
And undoubtedly none- none could surpass Setsuro's girth.
Oh, God.
I also like to imagine that there- he- at least him specifically,
probably all of them, they're so arrogant,
they wanted everything custom designed.
So I would love to meet the guy whose job title is Tomb King Dick Jar designer.
Well, I mean, he would have it ribbed for Setsuro's pleasure.
Oh, no.
No.
We're ending it now. Cut it out, honey.
Oh, and then things get bad.
Uh, so Nagash comes back, Tomb Kings are just building up defenses,
Setsuro has completely switched from conquer everything to-
alright, Nagash is back, we need to prepare.
Uh, Nagash surrounds the- all of, uh, the land in magical darkness,
which doesn't really do anything because they're all undead
and they're the spooky things in the nights.
And also they're undead, the vision is a lot less important
for the brainless slaves than it would be for most people.
So he basically just turns the lights off to show about.
Uh, Arc in the Black, who up until this point had been just kind of doing his own thing,
sometimes trying to resurrect Nagash,
sometimes just being a mercenary for whoever was dumb enough to hire him.
He was leading the charge after having brought Nagash back into Kamri.
And he does, uh, he does get defeated, uh, but it was all a prank
because somehow, and I don't want to think about how,
Nagash hid inside of, uh, Arc'n's body.
Uh, and so Arc'n got cut in half,
and then out popped Nagash in his, like, 500 feet tall,
uh, 1000 feet tall hat skeleton glory.
And, uh, Setra sees this happens and simply just does not care.
Uh, Nagash has eaten the God of the Dead,
uh, so he's basically a god now.
And I believe by this point he also absorbed the power of the dwarf goddess Velaya.
So he's basically like three gods for the price of one in Nagash.
Setra does not care.
Uh, could not care at all about this.
Uh, so he drifts around Nagash in his chariot for,
I don't believe, I don't think they gave a specific time,
longer than anyone fighting a god has any right to survive,
and Nagash just couldn't get him.
It's like the, he survived the exact amount of time it takes to watch Tokyo drift.
Just because he didn't whack it up.
Yeah. Yeah, he was just Tokyo drifting around Nagash,
just fighting him, and Nagash was getting more and more annoyed.
I've had this, I'm sorry, I've got that song in my head now,
Teja vu, I've just been in this place.
Oh, I should have gone to that side.
But it's pitch black midnight, and it's just in the middle of a desert,
and no one can see what's going on.
Yeah, well, in the artwork, Nagash is glowing like spooky green ghost fire,
and Setra is glowing gold like the sun.
Uh, so actually, yeah, if you want to imagine the two light sources in the desert
were Nagash, who would evil light, and Setra's glorious golden aura,
like a super saiyan.
Oh, hey, there's another Vegito reference.
They're also the rulers of a dead race.
Funny, look at that.
Ugh.
And they won't stop going on about it either.
But Setra's chariot gets broken, and they enter a battle of wills.
I don't exactly know what that looks like.
But despite Nagash being a god now, Setra is still so arrogant
that Nagash, like, can't out-willpower him,
because he is just that full of himself.
Talking about backing it up, Setra backs it up, and then some.
His arrogance is a superpower. Amazing.
Pretty much.
And, uh, at a certain point, Nagash just,
he was just so fed up with this that he just swarmed Setra with ghosts
until he could just grab him and pick him up.
And now, Setra is being held by the worst enemy he's ever faced,
who now has him dead to rights.
And Nagash, he says, you know, he still admires Setra.
Because two sides of the same coin, he still acknowledges Setra as being Setra.
So he gives him an offer. He's like, hey, you can still be king.
I know I'm above you, but you can still be king.
You just have to serve me now.
And what you don't want to do is tell Setra to serve you.
Does anyone want to take the line?
I think Cody probably knows it better than asking my verdict.
Would you, would you?
It is the most well-known.
You've been telling such a good story, though, man. Go for it.
You've earned this. You've been talking for an hour.
Thank you very much. I'd be honored to say this line.
And after being offered pretty much the position of second-in-command
at the then most powerful person in the universe, looks him dead in the eye
and says, Setra does not serve. Setra rules.
And I, I, I don't have, I don't have a joke for that.
It's just the best.
It's pretty point-up then.
Single tear of manliness trickles down the side of your cheek at that.
I think I just felt my pectoral muscles double in size just from saying the line alone.
It's like I've been to the gym.
Yeah.
I've been to the gym.
Don't, don't go to the gym.
Just repeat that into a mirror over and over again and you'll just gain muscle mass.
But unfortunately for our hero, he's still, he's still dead to rights for Setra
or in Nagash's eyes.
So Nagash blows up his body, leaves his body or his head in the desert,
blows up Khemri and forces pretty much every undead on the planet under his banner.
And Setra for the first time in his life knows despair,
but only for a brief moment because, you know, I think he's, I think it's fair to say
he's earned his moment of weakness and it will only be one moment.
And sure enough, in the book, it's, they're called four mysterious voices.
Oh, gee, four magical, mystical voices who could be speaking to him?
They, they repair his body to mummy status, not to human status.
He's still a mummy.
But they put him back together and say, hey, if you serve us, we'll give you everything you want.
And when I say everything, I don't just mean like, you know, Khemri will come back.
I mean everything.
They'll give him that fantastic golden body, give him sensation, eternal life, all that stuff.
And for once, I at least personally, I think that chaos gods, that's who it is.
Spoiler, if you could tell.
I, at least in my head, I like to imagine they for once in their existence,
meant this, that no strings attached, just serve us.
You'll get everything you want.
I like how you were like, they're going to give him a golden body.
He's like, we'll make you powerful, but we'll also make you fabulous.
And he's like, yes, I want a shiny body.
I mean, hey, that was one of his biggest asks before he died the first time.
Because the chaos gods are running scared at this point, right?
I mean, the whole thing is Nagash is coming for him.
Isn't that what's happening?
Yeah, like Nagash coming back is, as was one of those things in fantasy.
It's like the only thing that could possibly equal that was if like Kordon himself just showed up on the material plane and now Nagash is back.
So they're grabbing for pretty much any option they can get to try and avoid whatever Nagash is going to do to them.
Because he wants to become the chaos god.
Like his plans in the end game is to overthrow the chaos gods and become just the ruler of an undead world.
So, yeah, they're like they saw such a they're like, listen, whatever you want, you want that we'll give it to you.
Just help us.
Except they worded it as serve.
And that's that's a no, no.
So he doesn't respond to their offer.
What he does is he walks all the way to Middenheim.
So I guess just imagine walking from, you know, Egypt to Baghdad to Paris.
Yeah, like start in Cairo and end up in Berlin.
Only double the distance because I think the Warhammer world is twice as big as our world.
He just walks.
He shows up to Archeon pretending to be going to assist him.
And Archeon tells him to kill Kolic Sunnitether, the original dragon ogre, who is as big as a mountain.
Setra does this after like a three day Dragon Ball Z fight that levels the forest.
And, man, again, some cool moments in the end times, pretty much all of them about Setra.
And he brings Kolic's head back.
And then when the incarnates of magic show up to Middenheim to stop, you know, this is the last gas to stop the end of the world.
Setra reveals what he's really there to do.
He goes to swing at Nagash, realizes reveals it's a feint, cuts off a dragon ogre's head in one blow,
which, again, this isn't the mountain sized one. These things are still like the size of houses.
Just one one blow, just head clean off, then tells the Gash that he may be the worst, but he's still a prince of Nehekhara
and that he will temporarily forgive Nagash until Setra has personally killed all four of the Chaos Gods.
Lord.
And despite the incarnates failing because Manfred von Karstein all over Balthasar Gelt,
the last we see of Setra is he was surrounded by a horde of demons that just could not kill him.
Like, you know, the cover art for Doom. It was basically that.
And as just the world fell into chaos, that was what Setra was doing. He was just constantly killing demons.
While shouting, I'm not stuck in here with you.
You're stuck in here with me.
The after that Neferada is her and Kalida with the world ending, briefly make up to defend the last of the living in Sylvania
as chaos encroaches on the world. And then the world is fully consumed by chaos.
The four gods themselves manifest. Sigmar and Archaon fall into a black hole and the settings kill.
Thanks for coming.
Is it or does it come back again in the age of Sigmar, Chapter Two?
Yeah. Speaking of, there is at present no sign of the Tomb Kings themselves returning.
Although I do want to give some hope for everyone.
I've said there's been some small teases. There's no full reveal or anything, but a couple of teases.
Setra was briefly thought to return as Setris, leading the Stormhost of the Stormcast Eternals,
known as the Imperishables. God, who could that guy be, I wonder?
But GW told the writer that Setra wasn't allowed to be brought back in that manner.
And Manfred even tells Setris that if he was really Setra, he would have broken his foot off in his ass already.
But that being said, the key thing I take away from that is, brought back in that manner, that gives me some hope.
Other stuff, you know, there's some small paragraphs about how there's undead kingdoms in the background
that fight with skeleton legions and chariots. There's every now and then there'll be something that,
if you look into it, it's very clearly a Tomb King construct, featured in a novel,
even though it's obviously not the Tomb Kings as of yet.
Of course, Ark and the Black and Nefarada showed back up, as Nagash is still in Age of Sigmar.
And at least, you know, one thing I can, at least I'll stake my claim on this.
You know, I want to call it for the future. I'm putting my word on the line, sticking my neck out on this one.
Ark survived in the Realm of Chaos, and if anyone in the Warhammer world could match his stubbornness, it'd be Setra.
You know, we all know that belief in Warhammer is a tangible thing, and if Setra believes in anything, it is himself.
Like that. Stubbornness versus arrogance, the fight of the century.
And if nothing else, rejoice, because the Old World will eventually show up again, whenever the Horus heresy finally actually ends.
Fifty more books, I'm sure.
And thus far, none other than Setra himself has been in charge of the Games Workshop Created Memes to market it.
Which is utterly funny.
And that's the Tomb Kings. Anyone got any questions?
I only have just ultimate praise for Setra doesn't serve Setra rules.
God, he's so badass.
He steals the show whenever he's involved, and it's very easy to see why. He's awesome.
Thing is, when you said that quote like that, Hal, I just imagined him in the, when he's fighting and he has like a little man servant and all he actually says is, Setra rules.
And this is a guy goes, Setra rules. Just in the background, it's two separate lines.
Hi, man. Do you have, I want to finish on one question, which I wanted to ask Cody, which was, what is your favorite chaos god?
Just as a random like sidebar part.
I always like to ask this one, because we get to know how degenerate some people are, or how we all are.
I enjoy Zinch the most. I think that there's a, I like sort of the look, the feel of it.
I mean, I like the way it manifests in 40k with the Thousand Sons, and I like, uh, Achalbrot Hellbrass.
That's a lore, that's a lore I'm really excited to see hopefully one day as a DLC in the Total War games. You guys know him?
I've only heard, is he the one who's on the original trailer? He's like the light wizard, or is it?
As far as I know, he's one that hasn't been come out here. He's a human champion.
But basically he gets lore of life and some of the lore of Zinch. And wherever he steps, flowers grow in his wake.
So it's sort of like chaotic growth of rebirth and things like that. I think that's just a really cool concept.
But generally I enjoy Zinch the most of all the, you know, the Zinchi and Dickery.
Always being five steps ahead of somebody and you know, everything's just as planned.
You're a man of my own heart there because I'm a Zinch boy. Andy, do you have any closing thoughts or comments?
Tomb Kings sound like an interesting bunch of lads. I don't think I'd ever want to go out and drink with them.
The pranks they would pull would be a bit grim and I have a lot of derision for the way that they treat their peoples.
They don't sound like benevolent leaders. But yeah, they're pretty cool. Yeah. Interesting flavor.
Setra's a wonderful leader until you piss him off.
I'm excited to see them in the game when Old War comes back.
They've already started to tease some of the bits of the heraldry and stuff, I think, on the Warhammer community site.
I mean, they're planning to bring Tomb Kings back in a big way, at least in the Warhammer fantasy reboot.
So I think they're going to be a popular faction. I mean, people love them for a reason.
Very excited. Very excited. Even though I suck at playing them in Total War.
Abysmally at it.
Well, with that being said, though, thank you so much for joining us there, Cody.
Obviously, for people who are watching and listening, you probably already know his channel because his channel is lit.
He makes way better content than I do.
So do check out his stuff. If you're a 40k fan, you're like, oh, what the hell's fantasy?
This guy's got it in a way which obviously pairs with the Total War games, which it makes it fun.
It makes it... I actually have to show you some of my friends just to get them into Warhammer fantasy.
This is kind of the way that, you know, he's a great channel. Go check him out.
And if you're on my... I appreciate it.
One of the inspirations for me to start making videos.
So for all of you who see me upload and go, God, that's this asshole still at it.
We have Mr. Bonds to thank for that.
I've ever told you about my wife. I showed her your channel when you first started making videos.
She was like, why don't I watch this? It just sounds just like you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Wow. I didn't know about that.
I thought it was funny. Yeah, so I do noobs guides.
That's the whole thing is you're trying to find a fun way to entertain people.
And that's why I like this concept you guys to come up with.
So thank you guys so much for having me on.
Of course.
How did you... Just leaving off, how did you fall in love with...
We all have like a moment where we kind of like, oh, Warhammer's like my thing.
Do you remember like how you fell in love with Warhammer?
It's a two and a half minute story. You can time me.
I was living. I've always been very poor. I grew up poor.
And I was very impoverished and living in Ohio and I didn't have a job.
And the local comic book shop played Warhammer.
And I was like, oh, man, that seems like a really cool kind of like Tolkien-esque fantasy thing I'd really like to get into because I already played the Total War games.
And I couldn't afford to. So I went in and they actually had a fire in their building.
So all of their metal miniatures were partially melted.
So you could get like partially melted miniatures and like reshape them and like put them back together.
So I bought sort of... I actually have some of the original Kislev stuff.
Kislev mounted guys that have my wall because I bought them on discount.
It was really cool. I was like, man, this is so awesome.
And then the Total War games announced that they were going to make a video game of it.
And I was like, this is... I mean, I couldn't afford to play the tabletop because the armies were a bit pricey.
And so I was just excited to be able to get in and do something with it and really play around with this world.
And the more I kept poking at it, the more I realized there's just such a depth of knowledge attached to it.
You know, people are so clearly passionate about it. I just like, I want to know more, you know.
And for me, the real turning point was I couldn't figure out how to cover this stuff.
Like, for the games, I was like, I don't know what to do.
Like, it's funny because you go back, you'll see me like reporting on the news of it.
I don't know what to say. It was just boring as I'll get out, you know, me trying to do it.
I was like, all right, well, let's make fun of it. Let's have a joke.
You know, everybody likes a good joke, you know, present it with a laugh and people will get a kick.
And since then, that's what's really made me appreciate it is trying to, you know,
even tell the love and the craft of the writers of the original Stuffing Games Workshop put in.
They're having a laugh at a lot of points. They were having, you know, a little tongue in cheek in a lot of places.
And I really appreciate that. So, yeah.
Oh, that's a really nice story. I think mine's a little bit more basic, but I won't bore anyone with ours.
Because obviously, I'm no special guest. I'm just an ordinary bland one.
Thank you so much for joining us. It was a real pleasure to have you on.
Man, I hope everyone who's listening knows the hell out of Tomb Kings now.
I'm pretty sure everyone can walk away with that expert level of knowledge.
For our next episode, we are tacking, we are returning, fortunately, relieving fantasy behind the old world, the true, the true original.
And we're going back to Horus Heresy slash 30k.
We'll be tackling the Great Crusade, some of the main overarching events, particularly around Horus and things like that.
And if you did watch and you enjoyed, obviously, if you liked our guest, let us know.
And like and subscribe to everyone here.
And with that being said, thank you again so much for watching and we'll catch you all on the next episode.
Take care, everyone. Bye.
Nice.
Yeah.