Why don't I have it back to Andy for, uh, Morty, Morty.
Yeah, we got to, we got to, we got to, we got to, we got to, we got to
escape this toxic mess.
You got to put the seat up here.
You got to kill all your navigators, Morty.
Hello, Law Criminals and welcome to another episode of the beginner to
expert podcast.
I am joined by my illustrious, my beautiful, uh, co-hosts.
We have me how we have Eli, Colin, Andy, and today we'll be discussing
perhaps the best subject part two, should I say of Warhammer in, or
one of 40 K and 30 K and Horrors Heresy, excuse me.
We'll be discussing the second half of the Primarchs, but before we delve
straight, big bitches.
I've never been called beautiful before.
Thank you, Hal.
You are beautiful to me.
Let's, uh, let's get, let's get off in this.
And you are a radiant son.
You are a gorgeous man.
I mean, I could be so grossly incandescent.
Uh, so before we get into that though, I'm going to hand it over to Eli to give us the,
the hilarious, some of you guys are so funny, by the way, it's the hilarious
answers from your previous question of the week.
Take it away, Eli.
Yes.
And our previous question was, well, what was your ultramarine theoretical and practical?
I have skimmed through the comments very quickly, so I'm sorry if I missed your
funny comments, but I chose four.
I was supposed to choose three.
But I chose four, um, first one gets brownie points from me as from D Doyle.
His theoretical is wow.
I'm excited to learn more about the gene stealer calls.
His practical is mommy Magus, uh, emoji.
Wait, mommy Magus.
I think we have a hairy, yeah, mommy Magus.
Oh my Lord.
I healed mommy Magus.
Oh my Lord.
No gene stealers today, I guess the forearm is real though.
Don't forget it.
Next we have Harry Ballantine.
His theoretical is wow.
With so many diverse factions, there must be such interesting narratives and conflicts.
I would love to see how these play out.
Practical.
I can't do the accent.
I'm sorry.
Day in the life of a true GW author.
Wake up and meet the big wife, biggie.
My little ultramarines.
Isn't she beautiful?
Oh, is she beautiful?
Time to take Abaddon to Kadia.
Why are these people so funny?
Rev up the gray night.
Ooooh no.
It was the perfect time for a mic.
like
oh my gosh
okay rev up the grade
oh my gosh my stomach hurts
we're leaving this in by the way because it's so funny
oh did it get off at the same time rev up the grey nights
i've been yelling the same thing over and over again one more one more one more
okay rev up the great
right
quick stop at the elder and kick him while they're down get an imperial guard book armageddon's
looking lovely today lads just a bit of orcs what tyrannid wind makes a 38 oh loss better pop
down local hive world good old chaos cult look at that another horace harrissey novel lovely
pop down have a couple prime mark books with the lads and finish up at the fortress of ball
oh that was emotional that was our third or fourth attempt at reading my cheeks hurt
which was cheeks my fucking dimples hurt my face ow that was honestly we're leaving that day because
so funny uh we have the happy drake his theoretical is i can't do the axe i can't do the voice for this
i'll try it's another one is it another brexit geyser it's not the vizelic british one it's uh
it's how's favorite guy to quote apparently last time i'm pretty sure uh welcome nerovar together
we shall speak for the law and the law shall drive the mongol dogs of the employer from morrowind and
his practical is is this how you honor the sixth house and the tribe unmoored yes this is amazing
and then we have dj beast 2145 his theoretical is i just like 40k lore and i'm going to buy a few
models to paint but not go overboard and his practical is i am in financial debt and the gray
horde models continue to explain
how are you meant to start laughing and then because you've been laughing so much everything
someone says is funny that's a silly mood oh oh my lord i'm overstimulated from that
i need to have a lie down we're doing pry marks though where's pry marks
all right so our next question of the week is going to be which pry mark would you least want
to babysit and what's the worst case scenario use hashtag pry babies on your comment for us to see
it and hopefully feature it next time we look forward to reading them and now i will hand it
over to mr callin to educate us today thank you very much and uh today just as a heads up it's
going to be kind of be me and andy we're going to go on uh back and forth you know there's a
10 prime marks left so you know i'll take the first one then andy then back to me and then on
and on until we're done and so the first one let's start off strong with the 11th prime mark
thank you for coming everyone that was the 11th prime mark good show wow that was
oh that was a lot yeah yeah really in debt the uh the 11th prime mark we know even less about him
than the second at least we have fulgrum saying the second was humorless and maybe a bit hypocritical
couldn't even find anything like that for the 11th uh so what i did was i found a little bit of
information on what they could have been up to and where they went uh which again there wasn't much
but we know and this is a little bit of great crusade because we know nothing about these people
uh they participated in the rangdon xenocides and if that was not the last thing they took part in
it was the last recorded thing they took part in they uh roguel dorn refers to their disappearance
as separate tragedies although which is interesting but also keep in mind that roguel dorn and
gilliam and also mimed white everyone's information about the prime marks including themselves
so that's kind of some unreliable narration going on and then gilliam i believe in modern times
after he wakes back up says that his two brothers failed and then he specifies that the rest of them
turned traitors so he says two of his brothers failed the rest turned traitor so now we have
three different things that could have happened to them they could have been wiped out in the same
event two different occurrences could have happened or they didn't turn traitors so now
they're traitors or they didn't turn against the emperor they failed their purpose in some way
and that's all we really have on those two missing prime marks there's a little bit more but
not much uh it's intentionally vague though isn't it so obviously the real answer is so that we the
the wonderful viewers can make our own quote unquote uh made up prime marks essentially to fill that
creative slot so yeah i have i have a just um a question for you guys do you reckon we'll ever see
uh the return of one of those or at least information about these prime marks or you
reckon they're just going to keep it continuously like we don't know much we'll never know anything
i think they're going to keep it unknown and part of that is uh i don't remember which author said
it but one of the people in charge of like the old lore the missing primates and whatnot says
they're supposed to be a reference to the lost legions from rome at tetberg forest that were
wiped out by the germans so and if that's the case then their whole point was essentially just to be
like hey it's like this uh the cool thing with the roman's head where they all died so i'm hoping for
like a 60 chess move by dan mr dan huge schlong abner that he um he's his official title
he might have a he's been talking about like a twist in the beckwin novels about um obviously
the possible return of constantin valdor but even after he's said that there's he said there's a huge
huge he emphasizes huge twist coming and i'm i've got like this like little thing in my head which
says the huge twist could be like it's actually not valdor it's one of the missing prior marks
but i don't know if they'd ever be brave enough to do that if it just valdor comes back with one of
the armies and like i found them behind the bins imagine if they come back and write like the
missing primarchs they became the tyrant nests or something like that oh my god that would be yeah
yeah i i i had like if i before i like knew much powers like i wondered if like one of them had
joined a xenon species like the tau and they were like no you're not no no you didn't get the memo
you're not stop it or like they went really far out into the galaxy and never came back or something
and they were sent out of a task you know cool like a little fan story i read was they were
sent out of the galaxy and the tyrants were running from the two legions that was just
that was just a neat little fan thing and also probably overestimating the space marines a bit
two legions versus all of the high fleets ever i do agree that the the rangdang xenocides were so bad
because the or the rangdan was supposed like eldritch level horror type and so maybe when they
say that they failed maybe they won them or two of them got turned forcefully against the emperor
and so therefore maybe the shape the shape that had be raised maybe one of them did that maybe one
of them was dispatched to somewhere and they never came back it's like oh we failed like they just
went oh we never saw them again they went to they went to the far reach of the galaxy they were given
a task and they failed and we never saw them again all raised by eldari that's my other thing
that'll be cool that would have been perfect also we i feel like again i should say this is all just
been like theory crafting we've just done there's yeah pure speculation yeah so uh like i said all
i have is those little bits i mentioned with the rogel and gilliman and the rangdang xenocides
after that throw a rock you might be right you might be wrong do you guys think the primarchs
can double jump yet also okay the the context of that joke there boys and girls is it was a
would you rather would you rather be able to double jump but every time you double jump you
soil yourself shall we say so would you do you think primarchs can double jump so i'm gonna get
too silly with this oh man oh did you have one to ask us actually oh yeah uh it was uh you gained
the ability to fly and you can either fly for 10 minutes a day or as long as you want but if you
take as long as you want every hour you need to just shit out of the sky like a bird oh jeez
i don't know which is better if you open the comments in the chat like which is better like
being able to double jump or fly you have to defecate that's our second question of the week
second question that's the unofficial one and and with that the next prime arc andy take it away
okay um they came bounding over
interesting link you know i was talking about shit no um so we're now going to talk about the
12th prime mark which we do know something about all the rest of the primarks of this episode we
know about and this primark would be known as angron or very angry man to the community
angron was found on the world called nusaria within the dashelica mountains and uh interesting
thing about angron the guy who found him found him surrounded by a bunch of dead eldar and the guy
was like huh this this toddler's killed i mean they say xenos it's not clear it's the elder but
it's assumed to be the elder um this guy finds this this boy amongst a bunch of corpses of probably
eldar there is a theory that the elder saw angron's future and tried to assassinate him before he grew
up but that's speculation um this guy found this boy and he went oh he's obviously quite capable
in a fight i'll take him to house falchia which was a ruling house of the oligarchical society of
nusaria uh this house then said hmm interesting we'll buy the boy off you we'll enslave him and we
will name him angronius falchia after their house name which also translates in nusarian as child of
the mountain now as soon as they bought the kid they chucked him into the gladiatorial fighting
pits uh because nusaria its people were oppressed by the ruling elite but to kind of distract them
they had gladiators kill each other for blood sports and that seemed to do the trick um the boy
was pitted against an acid spewing monster alongside a hundred gladiators and they were on
a ziggurat platform which as the creature spewed poison and well acid it would rise up until the
platform shrank and so angron had to basically beat to death everyone else who was on the platform
so he could survive as the only one left standing uh pretty pretty grim as he matured and primarchs
as they do they basically mature very rapidly he was mentored by a gladiator and uh correct me if
i've said it wrong but it's uh oenemus i believe it is i think that's right yeah well they're all
sounds right they're all tough to pronounce one of those greek spellings in his o-e-n-o-m-a-u-s
so oenemus i think is how you pronounce it i wrote my college thesis on the peloponnesian
war and i still don't know how to spell peloponnesian so maybe i'm not the right person to ask
and how's the dyslexics i have a lot of my good my my best mates are uh from cyprus and if they're
watching this please don't judge that i couldn't i didn't get the greek right brothers uh please
but uh yeah there's this to get back onto oenemus if that is indeed how you say his name he was an
older gladiator a bit of a veteran of the pits he mentored and fostered angron um unfortunately
uh the the high riders as they were called the elites of the planet were kind of fed up with
angron winning and winning and winning and you know the the crowds adored him he really enjoyed
fighting despite his circumstance and they said okay we want you to kill your foster father in a
fight angron refused so the guards captured him restrained him and they implanted angron with a
with a nasty implant of the brain called the butcher's nails and the butcher's nails essentially
are these contraptions that are grafted into your skull dig into your brain and dig deep
and prevent you from feeling any pleasure from anything other than violence it's described in
in many accounts of how it's like sometimes it's like a a rage that kind of shuts off your your
cognition to an extent some people who have this implant they just wake up and they find themselves
covered in blood and they go oh what was that about other people they say they only are able
to like angron says he's only able to dream once he's done a massacre basically so it's he's always
got this nasty pain inflicted on him and the only way to cause it to stop for a few minutes is to
kill someone so it's really really nasty angron gets a lot of flak but it's kind of understandable
when you have something that's digging into your skull every day and going kill kill kill kill kill
or won't let you have a sleep you know it's pretty nasty when this was fitted he tore his foster
father limb from limb in the arena and he was very upset about this he didn't like the fact that he
just like butchered his like only bent or unwillingly there's a bit of a bleak episode so far i got a
admit stop he is called the there's a reason he's called the broken like primal you know red angel
he's not uh no one is speaking highly of angron in certain circles in the imperium shall we say
and he's the most tragic even more so and i would say more so than konrad curse who we mentioned in
the previous one because at least you know konrad he grew up in a nasty place he didn't have to like
butcher his father figure to death without any control um debatable i suppose but basically he
then said right i'm going to escape the gladiatorial pits he gathered and trained the gladiators and
called them the eaters of cities two thousand of them escaped the pits and they ran to the mountains
of dashelica where he where his gestation pod had landed they were whittled down to about a thousand
men and women then the new serian high riders sent seven armies to to kill them the emperor of man
kind found angron transported himself and his custodians to the planet and said hey angron um
kind of been watching what you've been up to um i will help you kill the high riders and save your
people if you take command of the 12th legion which i've reserved for you angron said no the
emperor was not happy with this response so he teleported him onto his flagship and left all the
gladiators to die um definitely in the community one of the most the there's a lot of people say
the emperor was a very bad person this is one of the most highly like referred to events where
they're like yeah bad dad um but angron had to watch controversial as well yeah it's very
controversial i mean the emperor basically said you know you can't win without my intervention
you don't really have like these these are just some gladiators um i made you for a purpose go
and do it and angron said no and so the emperor was just like now all right you need to you need
to learn from this in the harshest way possible it's a shame as well because compared to all the
other legions really like the people who are like the friends or you know warriors slash servants
of the primarchs are usually then elevated into the legions whereas yeah angron's one of the few
ones who was like nah we just say we're gonna let your people you know screw him yeah i literally
just finished a video on angron and i started with the quote where he's he's saying lorgar got
corpheron the lion got loofah did i get anyone no and it's basically just him ranting about how he
was always mistreated by the emperor um but despite this angron was installed as the uh the the
general and commander of the 12th legion known then as the war hounds uh after he maimed some
of the captains when they tried to like talk to him uh oh yeah they went in like one by one
didn't they yeah they were like oh my gene father smack oh he's dead uh he was not happy um at what
point do you just give up on that like how many captains need to die for you let's just let them
i think there was like six there was like a lot right one he killed the chapter master he literally
went i am the chap bang oh his head's gone what's like i think his name is greer um but yes not a
great start uh the eighth captain khan managed to convince angron that they were worthy of his you
know the legacy of his now slain gladiatorial creed um angron would give the world eaters 31
new serian hours to comply to bring worlds into compliance and if they failed he would kill a
tenth of all of the legion which was pretty nasty uh bird rabo did that once i think it was when he
first was installed but hang on every time they failed um and basically over time he he was fed
up with how weak they were and some of the starties went all right we want to be like dad we want to
prove ourselves um we're gonna make our own butchers nails and put them in our skulls and be
like our father all of them died so ang so angron was like you're all weaklings my my gladiators
weren't astartes and they survived the procedure you're a week and he just left he just left for
two years um khan managed to track him down and convince him you know we are worthy he was the
first to be successfully implanted with the butchers nails and because of that more astartes
started to take them on until the entire legion apart from the librarians was just a bunch of
berserkers and his resentment for the emperor as well as the fact that the world eaters were just
great at killing and they didn't derive any pleasure other than slaughter would lead to
his downfall during the horus heresy and that's basically the primer for angron do we have any
questions i was gonna say about um new syria itself because we don't really see it that much
other than when i guess spoilers he returns to it during the horus heresy but i would i haven't
read the prime art books i'm not i'm not sure what new other than just gladiators not sure what
most serious kind of interesting there is an interesting thing about new saria it's basically
within ultramar it's very close yeah so it's cool you have like ruby gilliamon with his 500
worlds and like not not necessarily a paradise but in a really nice stable environment and just on
his doorstep is this this despicable slave society that has blood sports and you think
there is i i did see an artwork once of of an alternate universe where gilliamon discovers
angron and it's like he salvaged his but no um was not meant to be and uh it was apparently
technologically sophisticated enough to be a nice place to live if you were the ruling elite
the civilians it wasn't like kemos where they were struggling to survive they they just they
were just poor and they were kept repressed by the society that ruled them it was uh in fact
speaking of wasn't if i remember correctly new saria was technically under gilliamon's purview
in the great crusade if i remember correctly he didn't really do much with it because it was
angron's home world but yeah he didn't want to overstep the bounds yeah it was technically
his world to uh look over which was neat that's why again jumping further ahead when the shadow
crusade happened that's how ultramar got there so quickly because lorgar and angron were persecuting
the shadow crusade and then the nails are biting so bad into because this is the thing angron was
dying because these implants he was definitely gonna die and it was like a few years every battle
he's in he gets worse and worse and worse so lorgar had to try and like divert them to new saria to
try and get them taken out of his brain but the the imperium couldn't do it they were like if we
take these out of his head he's going to die definitely so angron is really tragic in that
there's just he was he was unsalvageable there was nothing anyone could do i'll say one last
thing just to finish on him there is something slightly redeeming very so slightly redeeming
about him which was that he was always like he's always in pain like the entire he was like he's
in headaches he's a loner the entire time like all of the primarchs kind of like mentor and bond
with their legion he didn't until the actual horrors heresy like just before angron is too
late to save him almost that's what makes him so tragic in the end is that he actually i think for
the first time in the horrors heresy goes to the mess hall in his flagship and actually sits and
eats with his warriors because at this point of like over a hundred years then he starts to think
they're worthy and then it basically doesn't last which that's i that's all i was in khan was pretty
much the guy who who who saw to that glimmer of hope and then the nails yeah yeah not great and
then the nails and then the nails nailed it but uh but i suppose um if there's nothing else then
i suppose we could talk about the absolute opposite of angron with uh colin's next pick
indeed and we mentioned him earlier speaking of the man himself rebute
jay gilliman the primarch of the ultra merlene ultra marines ultra merlene
gilliman the greatest of them all if you want to just do yourself a favor and uh
open a new tab and put on the chaos gate ultramarine soundtrack while i'm reading this
song the chant uh he our blue boy landed on the planet of mcrog which it's not you know the
nicest place it's not like a paradise world but it's definitely out of all the worlds the primarchs
landed on one of the better ones uh it was basically just greco roman culture but in space
they actually did have a little bit of a space empire which was rather unusual for
uh human civilizations at this time because of all the warp storms that were going around
but mcrog managed a very small one because a lot of the planets were relatively close to one another
they could manage some interstellar travel and when he landed he was adopted by a man named
connor gilliman who sure enough that's where he gets the name rebute gilliman and connor is a chad
he's quite a cool dude it is a shame that uh what's shortly gonna be happening to him he gets
caesared yeah uh and very interestingly gilliman has a mother he's uh one of the only primarchs with
like a nuclear family uh it was connor's seneschal tarasha utin utin hashtag ultramom
indeed the ultramom herself nice uh seneschal is more or less just a fancy way of saying
secretary and medieval speak if you're wondering what that is so that and he as all primarchs do
grew very rapidly so i believe it was when he was 11 he was already leading campaigns on his home
planet uh one specifically mentioned was a group of people known as the illyrians which is just
straight up copy pasted from roman history uh but you know it's it's greco roman space so it fits
and while he was away on these campaigns against the illyrians he learned a couple key things
chief among them that diplomacy works sometimes it's better to just go hey can we hash out an
agreement uh because he noticed that oftentimes he could work out surrender arrangements and other
such things and avoid battles that would just decimate the land so he learned that and
unfortunately for him when he while he was away connor was slain by an assassin uh hired by a
treacherous ally of his and i believe gilliman returned to hold his father in his arms as his
dad died in front of him which very depressing oh damn um but this helped teach him a couple
more lessons uh one chief among them is that sometimes life just happens out of your control
and he learned from that which is uh something i talked about in a video i made on gorilla man
also he still had ultraman he did have ultramam still you should also switch from um carpet to
marble flooring because you can't get that out of the you can't get that out of carpet
you didn't know the recipe it was an emergency i've tested not not undercut not undercut the
seriousness as passing i've tested i've tested my finger while i was on my bed and the blood
dripped on the sheets that stuff does not come out so oh do you want to know one thing there's
like there's a website called murderabilia where you can buy like macabre stuff and apparently
someone spent i think it was 70 000 pounds or dollars on a scarf which had the blood of one
of the french kings soaked in it where they used to like they beheaded them with the guillotine
and it soaked into the scarf and they'd like flick the blood around in a spin why would you buy that
because people have too much money than sense if i heard that recently i was like oh that's weird
and i feel like it was interesting why would you do why would you buy that
it makes you less interesting because the object is more interesting than you
you don't have an answer for that one but anyway murdering political figures
connor's dead and gilliman also learned that sometimes it's best to not keep that cycle
going because he knew if he killed his father's killer himself he would set a precedent so he
deterred uh he deferred pardon me the sate of his father's killer to the senate who then proceeded
to kill him and he pushed his father's dreams for mccrog into fruition he turned it into
americratic society without corruption and fair to all and he essentially was leading it as many
primarchs or want to do and uh as i believe i mentioned the ultraman video funnily enough
the emperor knew where gilliman was for a couple years by this point uh it's just there was some
inclement weather in the warp so he couldn't reach him just like asking scoties what's it
like still rubbish all right i'm gonna play tennis all right go somewhere else i guess
uh so that meant by the time that the biggie found gilliman mccrog was an interstellar empire
that was growing pretty steadily annexing new worlds bringing them into the fold and yeah and
gilliman took command of his ultramarines uh purged those osirian cybrids some xenos that defeated the
ultramarines beforehand make sure to go watch our ultramarines video if you haven't for more on that
and one final thing i think i'd like to note about gilliman is that he never really considered the
emperor to be his father he was his creator and you know his emperor but that was it as far as
he was concerned his father was connor gilliman and his mother was teresh utin and even in fact
whenever gilliman was in trouble he looked to his mother for guidance not whatever biggie would have
said which i thought was really cool for his personality where did he get the because if
someone is new to warhammer and they you're gonna hear a lot about gilliman's thing about ministry
he read or like i mean like theoretical and practical and obviously being administrator i
don't know where the theoretical practical uh just just a brief explanation for people is the way
he would always operate like even in war and outside of war is with the information i have
what is the theoretical what is the practical thing i can enact on the information i have
so but i never knew where that kind of comes from is that his own creation do you think i believe
that was just uh if all right hang on full sentence stop there in my head start over
that was just a result of this uh planet he grew up on it was very greco-roman so everything was
nice and organized because good old roman i think in their archives they had a copy of star trek on
vhs and they watched episode with spock and they're like let's take all the motion out of it we'll
just do the thing that's logical yeah so i don't i don't think anyone specifically taught him that
like this is how you divide it into theory and practice i think just as a result of his father's
teachings and his mother and all that stuff theoretical my dad's a great guy he's dead
oh my lord i think just as a result of uh the society he grew up in we live in a society
we do in fact live much much is this so is this so crazy like the opposite of like
we go from angron to gilliam and it's like gilliam and i cradled my father in my arms as he died and
angron i pulled my father's arms off with my arms it's like such a difference quite the contrast
and they were like five feet away from each other relatively yeah exactly like seeing the like the
poor neighbor you're like oh they have it pretty rough while i'm in my nice palace what makes him
your favorite because if someone was going to ask you that because most people like gilliamon but
they don't put him in that top spot so what makes him your favorite shall we say i don't know war
hammer being a wargame setting and just what it is i just i appreciate when someone comes around and
goes i'm going to use my head and not my gun for my first thought in a world where the the standard
protocol is shoot first ask questions never i like when someone like gilliamon comes around he's like
i'm gonna i'm gonna use my head i'm going to actually talk things out it's like it's just a nice
contrast pretty much he shoulders the most burdens of anyone he's like i will take care of it i will
take the responsibility i'll do it and he has to he doesn't he's not as powerful as some other
characters in the setting but he just goes fine i'll do my best and that's quite admirable yeah
he's he's very like he's filled with resolve to do what he determines is right and i don't like
and he uses his head like he thinks like he's forward planning he might not always get things
right but he actually tries to think for himself rather than just go oh this is what the emperor
says to do i'm gonna do that he's like he's a competent character yeah there's other very few
in warhammer he's he wins me over by virtue of being basically competent if you put him in a room
by himself he won't fall apart i'll never impress you then
uh self-burned uh and uh with that little primer on gilliman why don't i have it back to andy for uh
morty morty smell that shit just smell that that's gone smell that yeah you did it
we gotta we gotta we gotta conquer the galaxy we gotta we gotta escape this
toxic mess you gotta put the seat up here you gotta kill all your navigators morty
i mean you were just saying you're just saying like gilliman is like the most oh i'll do it and
i'll be practical it's like mortarion is the opposite of that in a lot of ways but
let's start from the beginning um so mortarion is a very very very very very very very very
start from the beginning um so mortarion is the primarch of the 14th legion uh he would be
spirited away to the death world of barbarus which is uh very originally named because it was a very
barbaric place to live uh this planet was coated it was it was absolutely enveloped in a poison
mist and toxins and fumes that would just kill you if you breathe them in and it was ruled by
necromantic overlords so guys who could raise the dead create little warring armies and states
they built fortresses they built strongholds and they fought each other with the dead that they
raised from the ground could i just say something really quick yeah i'm so angry this is the biggest
presence necromancy has in 40k it's so annoying and it's a footnote the gash was right there and
you just stepped all over them that reminds me of when we spoke colin about how the elder should
be the undead faction because that would just be oh my elder gary ghosts of legend like oh come on
great elder here i know i wish i wish the dead did more things in 40k and that meme i'm editing
this song but that meme of you know the video the guy who gets his credit card you're like
um i want that he slams the table yeah give me that i want that oh man i was like why is it they
only have undead there that is really annoying because it's just today maybe there's a lot of
undead stuff as well it's not the same though it's not the same it just feels too chaotic then it's
not proper necromancy yeah um so among these uh overlord necromancers there was a guy who was
known as the high overlord and i i it's is it nick nicar any c are you can you call it rick
sanchez if you want rick sanchez i get the feeling yeah it's easier it's two at least
the better ones yeah well there's no season seven at the moment you know i mean
i'd i'd probably just go in that car but i'd car yeah it's all like hecka it's gonna be rick
sanchez on the video for i mean to be honest it's not far from necromancer nekari yeah yeah i guess
such as the power of negash of nekara yeah so this guy this guy called nick nicar nekari whatever
he put he found mortarion among the dead he'd resurrected and had he'd had a skirmish with
another overlord and he was like he just had crying and he's like what's that noise i've never heard
that before oh it's a thing and he he went oh there's a baby how is this baby not like
dying from toxin exposure because we're in there's a reason there's no humans around us because it's
too poisonous for them to get in the way of our little scraps between me and the other necromancer
no idea why they were scrapping in the first place i guess they they had a club and they were like
let's start with necromancy yay and got out of hand um and mortarion they he put mortarion in a
tower next to his fortress his big fortress on the highest peak of the world and this fortress was
just high enough that as the child grew up he wouldn't be comfortable because he could tolerate
the poison mist because he was a primarch he couldn't live in the peak where this guy was
because it was too toxic so he put him just in that sweet spot where he would like struggle to
breathe for the rest of his life um like goldilocks in a tower yeah but but goldilocks
is all we want with much less good hair and a very gaunt expression but yeah so he he put him in this
tower and over time mortarion built a tolerance for the poison because he's already a primarch
he's pretty good at resisting poisons and stuff i mean gilliam got shot into space and breathed
that like somehow didn't die of not breathing for a few minutes in the vacuum of space but
mortarion he got a tolerance going and eventually he escaped he killed the guards and he escaped
and he was able to roam the planet through the poison waste because he could tolerate the poison
and eventually he found a human settlement and he was like oh these these things they're like me
they look like me they're humans huh and so the the little town he found got attacked by
one of the rival necromancers and some of his monsters um mortarion picked up one of their they
were the the people on the planet were farmers and he picked up one of their harvesting tools one of
their scythes and he killed the monster and the necromancer went haha i'm just gonna sink back
into the poison you can't catch me and then mortarion just stormed after him and the last
thing the necromancer saw as he was amazed like what is this human doing and the poison was like
the scythe cutting his head off it's like cocky necromancer really got it um and yeah from there
mortarion he rallied the barbarans to create a resistance he he was taught he was actually
mentored by nikkar so he he was actually raised to be the uh the the lineage he was he was he was
raised to take on what this high necromancer had built as like a a descendant of sorts an adoptive
son so he did teach him things and mortarion used this knowledge to to build fortifications and to
improve the people's technology to extent he he knew arcane arts although he didn't like them
because mortarion's big trait is he hates the warp and magic and sorcery because of you know
being raised by a necromancer does that to you um and eventually mortarion managed to kill all the
the the necromancers except for his foster father and as time went on his so-called death guard that
he assembled improved their weapons and armor he got blacksmiths to to craft ever better suits that
could that he could bring his forces with him through the poison waste and they wouldn't die
but they could never get to the peak mountain where the big fortress was because it was too
poisonous and after an attempt mortarion went to his village and there was a guy in the in the
village known as i think it was the outlander they call him spoilers it's the emperor i can't
remember if it was what did he go by a revelation doesn't he do that from when he's pretending not
to be the emperor i think yeah he does that in the last church i think doesn't he he does it a couple
times in the books whenever he's pretending to be someone he like hides him he's like true you know
he's like i must say something else something light there he like he glows like a bright beacon
and uh yeah but he goes by revelation i think i just love it's not relevant i just thought i
mentioned it i love the idea that the emperor and his flagship has like a costume disguise wardrobe
and he's just like what disguise am i going to wear today got the glasses with the mustache and
you know i'm gonna chill do i i'm gonna be the emperor was a big fan of cosplay conventions
um but yeah i'm pretty sure it was the outlander in this in this case and this outlander was talking
to the elders of the village and he was like um this guy who's in charge is obviously a very bad
guy how about i help and we'll kill the necromancer and i'm done mortarion resented this because he
was like i can do it myself dad he didn't know he was his dad or was it more like oh jeez i can
kill him oh jeez i'm just about to go oh jeez i'm more puberty huh pretty much he was a moody
teenager but yeah the emperor then went all right mate you're a bit you're a bit big for your boots
all right go up there and kill him on your own and if you do i'll leave you alone you'll never hear
from me again but if you fail i'll kill him and then you have to swear fealty to me and do what
i say so mortarion is fine and despite the death guard saying no no no no including callus typhon
and the original members of the death guard they're going no no no you can't do it on your own you
can't do it on he went up to this big citadel on the mountain peak he got to the gate and then he
collapsed because the poison was just too toxic he couldn't he couldn't deal with it and then his
foster father came out of the fortress bloated there and was like you're weak yeah pathetic
and just before he killed mortarion the emperor stepped in cuts him in half with his flaming sword
goes you lost the bet and uh then on mortarion was installed as the leader of the 14th legion
then known as the dusk raiders very quickly he would change them to the death guard and they
would take the cultural cultural trappings of barbarus he replaced he solely recruited from
barbarus so there was no terran nastatis being drawn in despite their losses over time he hated
psykers so he wouldn't allow any psykers in his legion he was one of the he was the main opposition
during the council of nikea where um the emperor saw had the question should we ban people use the
warp because it's kind of malevolent we don't really need to trust it or should we use it
because it's useful mortarion was the main guy who who wanted to stop the use of the librarians
and among his primarch brothers the only person who really liked him was horus
conrad curse kind of respected him because they were both a bit messed up but horus was the only
one who treated him as a person all the other primarchs they saw this pale grim reaper-esque
dude who's quite tall and you know skinny looking and he breathes poison out of re he's weird he's
like uh gilliam and looks and he's like that's weird he's weird he's it wasn't friendly he was
definitely he was perfectly described as only friendly in his own company like only onto the
bar barbarians barbarians i mean he grew up in a tower on his own surrounded by undead people
he's not got a great personality he was not sociable but i'd say i had this scenario like
absolutely locked in my head now i was the emperor being like oh i killed it morey i
i got the necromancer morty i was thinking to that meme with the wrestler standing behind the
other wrestler it's like the other take yeah the nicar he's gloating to mortarian and the emperor
is just behind him like waiting for the shoe to drop you could do an art rendition because he's got
the long hair that'd be amazing oh love that to explain very slightly with mortarian everyone
we were saying i had a rant before we even recorded this about how mortarian is such a
a word he's such a wuss he's a wet wipe um so unfortunately the law they do like basically
like oh we need someone to be defeated and humiliated so the other character looks cool he
blames everyone for all of his problems he's always moaning and complaining he's not very
competent it's like oh he's terrible his whole issue just for someone who is new and like why
do they make him sound so bad his whole thing kind of is that he thinks he's like a hero even
though he loves he he's a gaunt horrific looking thing so that's the reason why he resents the
emperor so much is one he doesn't like being uh forced to do something against his own you know
force to stay in a tower forced to become a a minion to a necromancer obviously most people
don't enjoy that but his whole thing is funny enough mortarian thinks he's a hero so his hero's
journey was meant to be that he destroyed the evil bad villain the necromancer and the emperor took
that away from him and that's why he hates him so much and then he and when he when he also learned
about how the emperor stole power from the gods to become the most powerful psycho he was like
hypocrite you're like the worst sorcerer in the and oh you're my dad oh cringe and like my dad
is like corax is a liberator he he's what mortarian wishes he was like corax liberated his home world
on his own he did it and everyone loves him and he's like hot topic cool whereas mortarian is just
like cringe and that that's kind of it is he's cringe to him he's a big cringy moth you know
ugh look at those wings and later though i can't always talk about him uh but i think unless there's
anything else anyone wants to add that is the the play walking we lies of death elia has to say
something about the the morty but what a way smelly moth i don't have a lot of opinions about him
honestly i uh he was never my favorite he was never my least favorite he just kind of exists for me
he's very milk toast isn't he probably smells like an unwashed taint there's that bit where he fully
transforms he goes on to horus's flagship and only abaddon tormageddon and horus are like throwing up
in his presence like he's like torgadon is unfortunately r.i.p torgadon oh we love him
i did like you heard the one about the bear oh man well yeah sorry death guard bros your prime
mark's not so bad it's okay it's okay but we'll we'll hold or look at you from a distance
he's a salad there out of 10 well darian's not even everyone's favorite death guard come on
this is just way too much man got cucked by typhus and don't forget garrow and garrison
yeah death guard isn't he always forget um doesn't smell and he's terran so he hated him um but yeah
so with with smelly moth man done uh colin would you like to talk about our next prime arc i'd be
happy to you flaming idiots take this feel the power of my magic now we're on to magnus the red
he did many things wrong but we'll get to that he uh he landed on a planet called prospero
which was a planet largely composed of psykers who were refugees uh from other planets due to
persecution during the age of strife uh prosperos was kind of a hub for them to flee to and the
planet was filled with creatures known as and please do forgive me a moment this is going to
be hard to pronounce oh i know exactly what's coming yes psych new way in psych new way win
this is the same problem i believe like new in the audio but psych new in like new in like
never impossible to pronounce right now i'm thinking of that family guy bit where steve goes
cool whip this evening is ruined but uh those that's not leviosa it's leviosa
i have to do it it's not leviosa it's leviosa
however the hell you say these things they were psychic creatures that preyed on the
planet's inhabitants and once magnus got there he proceeded to just start pushing them back
because magnus's purpose is to be the best wizard that ever wizarded on the planet
at the galaxy in the way his magic the gathering
oh he is the wizard of the coast and uh he was taught by a i guess sorcerer sorcerer is
probably a good word for him a sorcerer named amon who indeed would become to be one of his
chief officers in his legion once we got there but and in just a few short years because he was
you know created by god to be the best psycher ever he had surpassed amon and had become the
chief psycher on uh prospero and with his help they pushed back the psych new ins
and they got it first time yeah he figured it out that time and he pretty much became the planetary
leader by popular demand everyone was just like yeah this guy's awesome and he turned the planet
and its capital city of tisca into just a absolutely perfect shining jewel of what humanity
could be as it was evolving to be more and more psychic he would write down everything he knew
about the great ocean which is what they called the warp on prospero into his works and even to
this day i say this day in modern 40k 10 000 years later that's where a very large amount of the
information that mankind has on the work comes from is from magnus's teachings and that's just
the fragments of whatever they could rescue from prosper after the space wolves space wolfed all
over the place uh two major things of note he contacted both zinch and the emperor uh for the
emperor you know when magnus was still on prospero he would just delve into the warp and it did not
take long for the emperor to notice and find out i think i know who that is and sure enough they
psychically contacted well before they actually met don't know why it's like imagining like the
warp based dial-up like he was trying to send me messages what is this that's my kid is although i
didn't know he had a phone like a warp version of that is this a psychic version of docking
oh man what did they this is the only law crime you get to edit this you get to figure out what
the visuals for that one are is the only one who actually remembered that the emperor existed before
he left uh terror or was whisked away wasn't he he's the only one who actually remembered like he was
not and they all had an inkling that they were probably not native some of them had some of them
had visions like sanguineous and conrad and lorga they had visions that's that's cheating though
magnus just like hey what's up pops yeah he spoke to the emperor while he was in the gestation
capsule and and uh while that was going on you know they talked in great lakes about the warp
and the emperor told them that yes you know you can do a lot of cool things with space magic but
you gotta be you gotta be careful with it there's some nasties out there that you don't want to mess
with and magnus took this information and proceeded to almost completely ignore it
i just had the idea of like like the emperor being at like a police station with like a missing child
report and then all of a sudden he gets a call from magnus like mac magnus where are you i've got
him on the phone where are you yeah you found some matches what are you gonna do with those mate no
put them down put them down come on where is he just like that trying to like track him down with
like the phone lines thing i like what's even funnier about that is the emperor didn't name them
they got their names on the planet so it was just like oh met me what's hang on what i forgot my
kids name magnus number number 15 where are you number 15 and uh as for zinch you know once they
met up with uh you know the emperor magnus was like hey i i see this flesh change my legion is
going into through where all of my space marine children turned into soup let me fix this please
please emperor let me fix this problem and eventually emperor's like yeah all right sure
you know what you're you're i trust you you're a powerful enough wizard go for it uh magnus
delved into the work to change uh change the flesh change how to figure out how to get rid of it
and what he believed he did was he just consorted with a you know particularly noteworthy warp
spirit but nothing special beyond that so some friendly being yeah in the warp yeah what could
be wrong uh it was actually zinch the chaos god of trickery and magic and all that fun stuff
and magnus believed all he did was give up his uh his eye in exchange his left eye i believe it was
in exchange for curing the flesh change really zinch just turned it off for a bit is more or
less what happened he just hit the off switch on flesh change just toggled it off for now yeah he
yeah on a time on an egg time yeah a 200 year timer as it were and uh yeah but magnus as far
as he was concerned he did great he lost an eye oh no big shame he's got a whole other one of those
and he's still a great wizard so who even needs that second eye terrible depth perception but a
great wizard indeed but uh unbeknownst to magic or unbeknownst to magic unbeknownst to magnus
he had fallen for zinch's plot hook line and sinker and this would grow his arrogance which
would eventually lead to his downfall and one last really important thing to know about magnus before
we move on he's red i don't know why he's red i'm just assuming it's because he's magic is my guess
yes he was that oh go ahead sir andy as i say it just reminds me of that scrubs episode where
it's just like this guy's orange because he's drinking too much oh yeah this is like he's
turned or no carrot juice it's like yeah i was just drank so much carrot juice he was meant to
be like red and or they thought if he ate too much carrot he'd be yellow and if he had red and they
couldn't work out why he was orange it was because he only ate or drank carrots and peppers i say how
i know you've had your video on magnus relatively why is he red he uh there's no actual reason why
he's red but he also doesn't appear red to everyone it's because when his magic is flowing he actually
appears more like a copper kind of tone but most people when they look upon him you like we look
upon him and see red but most people you probably like i'm actually gonna like my brain will melt if
i actually look even in his eyes or something i think it's also one sunburn there's also like
i've been a client but it's also implied that he somewhat alters his appearance to like he's
supposedly as tall as vulcan the the as big as vulcan is but he supposedly enhances how he like
his actual form doesn't look like that because even before he became chaotic in his material
form was basically whatever he looked like he had i know he had at least some ability to alter his
appearance and look however he wanted and also grow 50 feet tall and punch titans to death if he
so felt the need he was pretty much something he could pretty much do there wasn't much there
wasn't much he could really not do he's quite he does a primal power level like one v1 the other
primal has to have some serious like spoilers obviously with leaving ross he when they fought
the only reason it ended up with magnus losing was because ross was wearing special anti psychic
gear that negated his um like abilities but most of the time magnus just easy claps and and was
surrounded by sisters of silence yeah he's pretty powerful also man's big thing is as knowledgeable
and as impressive as he is he is so arrogant he thinks he's he he usually when you learn more
about the world you realize oh there's so much i don't know now because your ideas and your
let's say your capacity to understand is so much larger that you realize there's so much more you
don't understand whereas magnus the opposite the opposite because he thought he knew so much he
thought he was infallible i think my favorite quote of someone like like understanding his problem
is when it says it's in his demon primal form with vulcan and then he's he says um you know what's
vulcan what's wrong with you and then he shouts back at them the emperor and horrors both know
i'm the most valuable piece on the board he actually thinks all of this was structured to get him
because he thinks he thinks way too highly of himself he's the kind of guy who learned something
and they'll just say oh the sultan says oh didn't you know that he's that kind of guy he's like oh
i'm so clever look at me i'm so smart oh you didn't know what i know huh you could peasant peasant
you could show him a list of 110 factual reasons why he is wrong about something to go no i know
right i know better i'm fake news because he was actually you know he's actually a pretty nice guy
at least as far as the primarchs go but just so arrogant yeah his his biggest second weakness was
that he loved his uh his uh sons he loved his legion too much to actually betray them to the
emperor in the end that's very sad yeah he didn't want prosper well i mean he did and then he didn't
want them to die quite quite the uh emotional the change of heart there but poor story for him poor
but poor guy that stuff even oh what's up andy i was just gonna say it's even more tragic considering
no one cares about the thousand sons in the law oh i hate that i was a player oh yeah i'm just
trying to rile up how to be honest at least it's not me this time you got you got the elder out of
there with anger on earlier we're allied in this one it's fine i had my lumps uh but yeah so
aside from all that he took command of the thousand sons and went about conquering uh oftentimes
using diplomacy he was one of the primarchs who would use that but when it was time to fight he
would just wizard everyone to death and that is you know the intro primer to magnus the red
uh i don't think yeah i don't have i don't have any stupid funny ways to say about the next
primarch uh no more morty for this guy you mean dog man you mean the big dog oh man yeah big
big big dog daddy age big dog daddy let's do it up to you andy take it away he's losing the power
of rational thought he's become a teenager uh horace is is an interesting one to talk about
because we're only talking up basically until the horus heresy and horace is weird because there's
like all of his character is in the horus heresy so this is actually probably going to be a bit
shorter than the others um but horace was spirited to the world of kafonia and kafonia was right next
to holy terror and as such oris was the quote first primarch to be found by the emperor um we will
undermine that when we get to our last primarch today but um horace basically lived on a crime
world and it wasn't like nostromo where everyone was eating each other for sustenance it was more
like the godfather and very very very little is actually known about horace's time on kafonia
all we know is that there was a gang culture there was a crime family syndicate and horace
eventually became the crime boss like think michael corleone from the godfather that's basically
horace in power armor um or michael corleone in power armor which is a weird image um but as the
quote first primarch to be discovered by the emperor he had the most experience dealing with
the great crusade he was the first person to be mentored by the emperor he was the first person
to mentor other primarchs um he was gifted with incredible charisma and the imperium loved him he
was the poster boy of the imperium horace lupacal could do no wrong everyone loved him every legion
that followed would aspire to be like him and like his legion the lunar wolves and uh he would easily
other like the only contenders for the most glory and plaudits during the great crusade is the ultra
marines which we all know ultramarine's the greatest of them all um we are heroes proud and strong
if you have a little scene story string storm song about the ultramarines please do it it is funny
i mean that's my ringtone just that little clip there
um but yeah during uh the great crusade horace uh achieved the title of war master and he did
this during the big campaign against the orcs because the orcs were burgeoning to a point where
they were the biggest threat in the galaxy the imperium had to band together every primarch with
every legion that they had put their great crusade on hold and kill the orc menace before it became
overwhelming and during the final penultimate the final battle not penultimate the ultimate battle
to decide what would happen against the orc xenos uh the emperor and horace led the custodians and
the lunar wolves into battle against the war boss of um of the orcs to which the the war boss the
the war boss would almost well it's it's said he had a chance to kill the emperor i don't necessarily
believe that i think he just got one up he got an advantage and whatever blow he would have dealt
to the emperor horace prevented it he killed the war boss i believe he chucked him off the ramparts
of the the building they were fighting in or the titan or whatever it was and he became the first
among equals he became the war master of the imperium to honor his ascension as the war master
the lunar wolves would be rebranded as the sons of horace they would change their color scheme
their armor colors and they were untouchable they were the best of the best everyone wanted to be
like horace and his legion and as the person the emperor trusted the most he would be privy to some
of the secrets of the emperor one of which was horace knew that there were quote entities in the
warp prior to his fall uh and corruption to chaos but he naively just said oh they're just weird
phenomena they're not real creatures they're not beings as such they're not they don't have
cognition they're just like apparitions they're like ghosts they're just weird things that live
in the warp um but as is documented in the first two horace heresy books which are very good and
worth a read it's horace rising and galaxy in flames or the other way around galaxy in flames
is the first one false gods it was false gods it's false gods then horace rising also galaxy
in flames yeah it's been so long since i've read i'm on like big book big i'm on book 50 now so
that's so far away now uh i literally have free to go i have nearly horace all over my heresy um
just yelling so i was there the day horace shed himself comment is hilarious people are so funny
man people are so funny yeah we're bringing it out of them like they're so much more funny than we are
um yeah and horace uh during one campaign against the uh he found this species uh was it the uh the
kid the kinabrak kinabrak or block something like that like a splinter of humanity aren't they they're
like a weird civilization where they're like who they're who are these guys that have pretty
advanced technology they don't want to really join the imperium they're doing their own thing
it was it was oh that's weird the inner rex and it was humans and the rex yeah kind of
breck kind of them the them the kinabrak are the uh aliens that are like with them aren't they
weren't they yeah it's like a coalition the people they they were they were i think they
they meet them don't they like they appear on the ship and then i mean they go out
abdon's like growling calling like oh let me at him oh i imagine by abaddon sounds like richard
nixon in my head like oh i gotta get him i'm gonna break down the walls of caitia um but no
but when they do you did mention when they actually go on the ship um when they're on the ship
everyone's favorite character word bearer's chaplain erubus sneaks on to the uh the ship
he steals a weapon from their armory known as the uh the anaphame uh anathame yeah the anaphae an
afama sword anaphame and he steals it and he gives it to this planetary governor called eugen
temba on the moon of davin i believe it is and long story short the sword uh is infused with the
powers of the plague god nurgle and it corrupts planetary governor until he became he became like
a bloated demon infused being that was really really like like chonk he was chonk but he was
also really fast and powerful and the lunar wolves uh sorry sons of horus at this point had now
been inculcated in like the the the the uh the species they were parlaying with was like um guys
like this really important sword is missing from our armory know anything about that and they were
like um no no actually um we we didn't steal anything um and they didn't it was all erubus's
fault and elias favorite character is erubus 100% oh no it's not no it's not yeah i'm just saying
erubus i mean that's rude oh my gosh is that is that possibly the one the worst things you can
accuse someone of doing is having a favorite erubus liking erubus have you seen those memes
recently where it's like book recommendations and film recommendations from the erubus yeah
they're so stupid i love them um yeah so basically they start fighting the the sons of horus war
breaks out we're not going to make an alliance with these weird human xenos you know people in
space that we've met and so they start slaughtering them um then eventually horus confronts yugentemba
when he's like uh the world's not doing very well what have you been up to and he was good mates
with this guy but he's now corrupted completely by nurgle and they get into a fight uh yugentemba's
demonically possessed body manages to stab horus i think in the like the shoulder with the the
anaphan sword and the wound doesn't heal and horus gets pretty much comatose and no one in the sons
of horus knows what's going on garviel lokan or the mourn of al or abaddon so for some reason
abaddon and a lot of the mourn of al thought it would be a good idea to take him to these
crazy you know people on the moon of davin uh that seem to worship weird pagan gods of unknown origin
and uh they were desperate to be fair because obviously they were horuses like their dad and
yeah men everyone in the imperium loves him so we can't be like oh sorry dad's gone well no the most
cherished son of the emperor the incorruptible brilliant wonderkind no we can't have that um
they take him to these these uh i don't they're not druids they're like um
priests tribe tribe tribal priests or whatever you'd call people who follow chaos whatever and
they put him on this altar and they corrupt horus lupercal and he becomes the war master
of the traitors the the great leader of the traitors um the way they get this does try to
stop him i believe in his like fugue state where he's in like a i think he's like lost in like a
weird dreamy warp scenario and magnus goes oh what's what's going on here horus are you right and
and doesn't manage to stop him being corrupted but uh yeah most of his character is revealed in the
horus heresy he's kind of left somewhat vague before then but anything you guys want to add
other than also the reason the reason they get to him as well is because horus is as much as we've
all just like uh slurped his metaphorical you know what uh he uh he has a serious issue which is
he's kind of like magnus he has a problem with pride like an ambition in a way like horus is
uh he's so when they all meet him by the way all the primarchs they always think of him like
the kind of older brother even though they're all about the same he's the unifying factor they all
like him most i think pretty much other than maybe one or two there is indeed no everyone gets one
coming up who is not the biggest fan of horus yeah like most of them all like it's very most of them
are all very different but horus is the only one who basically gets along with all of them although
i don't know if he actually liked all of them but he was just able to be that kind of charming
person like when they say like obviously horus is when you look at when you look at an image of
horus you don't think that's not the most charming charismatic guy but supposedly when you like walk
in a room with him and the way he would like speak to you be like oh my like wow it's one of those
things where so that phrase in it like someone who walks in who like lights up a room that's kind of
what horus is where he would like he's friendly he you know if you're in the army he'd actually
treat you like you know you're already best mates and comrades for years and he knew how to get to
the heart of people you know how to speak to people in different ways if so if horus had a podcast in
the 40k university would be the joe rogan experience basically i'll just bring anyone on i'll chat to
them i'll get a rapport we're both bald it's fine pascal of the uh but with no hair he was
unfortunately uh there's a theme of baldness and evil in warhammer yeah fortunately he was dead
but we did mention like i mentioned earlier like mortarion the only person he got on was
with horse because he gave him a chance um jagatai liked him because he he had that warrior creed and
you know he got on like everyone got on more or less with forest because it doesn't like
gilliam and respected his martial prowess sanguineous he was also possibly going to be
the war master and they were best mates uh ferus respected him because he had superiority and rank
in his legion had lots of plaudits like everyone liked horse for the most part and it's a bit of
a shame but it had to be the most liked character if gilliam and felt a chaos with like the gil the
so called the rebuti and heresy it's like it's interesting a horus has their extra like it's
more tragic if it's the most cherished son of the emperor that's the one who ends up being the villain
of the series and also the reason they corrupted him from chaos's perspective was that he was the
one who could corrupt the most other prime monks as well yes he's the no one else no one else
amongst them had a like if the lion god you know probably would never but if the lion is
a child apart really rubbish like no no one would join the lion if the lion was like let's start a
heresy and he's like the he's like the kid who invites people to the birthday party and no one
shows up and again when he draws all the traitors into his band he's like angron i understand you
had a really bad time with the emperor it's okay i'll i'll sort it out mortarion yeah i know the
emperor's rubbish it's okay i'll sort out fulgrum that's a pretty cool sword you got there we've
always been mates yeah you're going to join the heresy yeah cool lorgar i hear you like books
guess what magnus likes books we'll all have a book club together he just he convinced the prime
marks that joined the cause not through you know not through might he just he convinced them through
his charisma and also like even with perturabo it's implied that he might have um orchestrated
the seed of um the the uh the olympians you know rebelling against the iron warriors as like an
extra incentive for the robber to be like it's i don't think it's confirmed but it's implied that
he might have been influencing that so when perturabo was like oh maybe i'll join the
the emperor but it's like no we need to push him over the edge i'll orchestrate that behind the
scenes i don't know if it's necessarily 100 true but it's implied and and again he's greater he's
he's a genius when it comes to planning and battle and manipulation and that and the charisma it's
very difficult to to stand against him but yet also his downside is his monstrous pride and the
fact that most most people don't like to be on a stage horace likes being honest horace likes
there's often he had trouble with some prime marks where they kind of knew he was going to be like
they do a campaign and they knew he would be the one to like i'm going to be the one to go and kill
the leader at the end because he because he kind of knew how that would yeah he definitely had a
problem with he wanted to be seen as glorious and you know you know i always loved the one where
he's obviously called horace luper cal is like his nickname but he loved it when people like
whispered like luper cal luper cal but they would always whisper and he kind of it's like oh
don't stop boys i'll don't you know you're like oh you know and he's like yeah actually please keep
please keep going yeah big big problems with pride that that bald man uh two things i think
i wanted two things about horse real quick uh one i've and please do correct me if i'm wrong
uh but i was reading online and i heard that he's was before the whole thing with the inter-ex and
that he was rather idealistic because when he first met them he was almost ecstatic because oh yeah
chance he was like this humans and zenos cooperating and they're living in harmony and their tech is
good and it seems to be working out really well with them and even sanguineous was like the emperor
says maybe we should just kill him and horse is like no everyone shut up i'm in charge we're
going to try and work this out and i think and again like i said correct me if i'm wrong i
i again admit i haven't read the book but after the whole thing went down he seemed almost
like broken and distraught it was like this is i had a chance to find a new way to do things
and just conquest and it blew up in my face he's very jaded because yeah he the reason he was
trying something is because it was he was newly minted the war master newly minted newly honored
as the war master and he didn't want to wage war in the same way he had done before he wanted to
he wanted to you know he was horus lupical before but war master was lead of the great crusade
as they wanted to to be he wanted to set example and not be so very funny he says in the book like
he's almost slightly ashamed at times of when he's they've basically degraded into war so quickly so
he wanted to be better and then the one attempt he tried to be better it blew up in his face and so
he got i mean ever since basically after that happens and the rest of the heresy books even
before he gets corrupted he's kind of quick tempered and like he's not as uh like joyful
like or even like even his own warriors notice is he's not he's he's quick with them he's not very
um as well he was not as warm as before it doesn't make sense as well that like his character flora
is that he's always winning he's always succeeding so the one time he fails it hits him really hard
and he he doesn't get over it easily he's like i'm supposed to be the guy filling the shoes of the
emperor i'm supposed to be the war master i'm supposed to be the one who's the example and so
he has this massive burden and every time he makes a mistake or fails it crushes him and he is he has
got a fragile ego oh my god oh my god he's the he's the kid who did well in school and then he
gets to college university that problem but like you see that with some people like they have trouble
in or they have no trouble in school they're like oh you just memorize it and i'm fine and then they
get to college university oh i have to learn and apply it oh this is a different ball game and it
just just gets like an f in his graded test he's like let the galaxy burn that's pretty much
Horace Horace is an entitled brat i'd uh i'd also like to say major skill issue on his part uh he
gets stabbed with the anathema he goes yeah my soul hurts i'm dying gilliman gets stabbed and he
punches porphyrin into a heart attack resounding he gets like killed with the the play what's it
called the uh the the plague wars virus the uh the god blight and then he's just like i'm dead got
over it though yeah uh another common rabute gilliman w call an ambulance but not for me
that's him when he's jettisoned into space with the word like is he dead he's not wearing a helmet
why didn't he come out of the way how does eyeballs not pop out of his head well that one actually
that's actually not something that happens i think it's a myth yeah oh it's uh i don't remember
exactly what happens but you like it's not like to like a space odyssey where you jettison into
space and your eyeballs explode uh i'm dead wrong then that's a law crime that's a that's a science
crime that's just a crime that like when if you're in space and say you're like facing the sun the
part of your your like skin that's not facing it's like so cold that you'd basically like the
side that's not facing the sun freezes and you're like oh i'm dead anyway because you know so you
have to rotate like a kebab slow roasted gilliman what is this he got one hell of a tan line
just one side of his face like my lord you look different sheesh gilliman oh
oh that was all i had is all i had to add oh that's all we had we decided to get the skill
issue in leaving that on sheesh gilliman well i guess on that uh that tender note i suppose
i'll pass it on to colin to talk about our next primark lorgi
nobody expects the spanish inquisition
uh
oh uh lorgi lorgar aurelian though yeah he's uh jehovah's witness the primark
oh we're going there yeah the one fan from utah is not happy yeah the one mormon follower we've got
is not pleased with me he should not be watching this anyway so it's fine yeah he landed on the
planet of cultures which was a highly religious world that followed more or less a watered down
version of chaos worship uh so it wasn't like you know it's like yes this is you know corn
nurgle zim zlonezh but it was like i see where it's going and it's not great uh yeah it's like
have you heard of corn and the barbarian yeah not a not outright worship enough to you know get your
tentacles and all gross corruption stuff but you can see where it's leading and his adopted father
korfaron uh the man who as i said in the future is getting punched into heart failure
was a former priest of the planet's religion and lorgar was initially he followed this religion
but then like andy was saying earlier he received visions of a golden god coming down to cultures
leading an army of angels and he became enraptured with this new belief of his
and spread his beliefs across cultures and because he's a primarch and they're very very
charismatic he gathered a massive number of followers his adoptive father korfaron wasn't
the biggest fan of this but more so than you know he followed his religion he had some grudges
against those who were still in charge in the religion and he was he was willing to hedge his
bets a bit like you know you know maybe maybe maybe lorgar's right maybe this is going somewhere
we'll see and then lorgar uh the planet was launched into a six-year-long civil war
which lorgar after those six years came out on top and spread his faith across the world
and shortly afterwards well you say he was kind of proven right as just the phrasing that got me
he's like he spread his uh he spread his faith it's better in one of my shorts i started it off
with the uh it was like a mutant cult and the start of the short i said something like they
spread their mutant taint throughout the entire i got a lot of comments i got a lot of comments
elise that's an image oh truth that the emperor is the freaking worst though
yeah he's uh proven right as who else but the emperor of mankind descends down to cultures
with an army of space marines in tow and magnus the red yeah yep and the magne magic was there too
after a month-long celebration he was given command of his legion the imperial heralds who
he renamed the word bearers uh the religious symbolism is quite thick with this man and he
was the only primarch who fully believed that the emperor was a god or even at all believed it
and the emperor didn't even stop him for a while right no because like when it happened
no he just he just allowed this to happen he was he was just like no i'm not stop
stop and then it just got worse he basically just said no don't do that and then drop the matter and
then 20 years later hey by the way i'm still not a god drop the matter for another 10 years not a
god he's like oh this this isn't a phase oh no come on he was hoping it was a phase and then it wasn't
i think it's implied that because he found law guard like the primarchs that i found later
are kind of just like yeah yeah hurry up hurry up and go do the do the great crusade thing so he
kind of it's like how he tolerated anger on being broken the emperor was just like fly the nest
already get out of my house and do your own thing it pretty much is where like with law guys right
it was okay i know you're wrong but you if you do the crusade thing i'll address this thing later
because i'm busy if he was found earlier and just going it's getting worse come on lord get on with
it the orcs are coming he's he's pretty he's pretty tolerant unless it's like as long as you are
bringing worlds into compliance i don't care until he did care because he's too too slow he's like
your brother is is skinning people it's fine the other guy he's using virus bombs it's okay it's
not the ideal but he's getting the job in the most loyal plants in the imperium oh i think that's a
bit of an issue that's kind of cringe i just like that it's not a real it's a skill issue he's he's
he's sitting like lord or that orc is now a croak you need to hurry your ass up they added a k to
the name let's go uh but yeah with the with the word bearers he moved on and started taking planets
back for the imperium and he interestingly enough for being designed to be a general he did not like
war he was a not not a fan he much preferred to conquer not conquer he much preferred to get
worlds into the imperial fold through faith and diplomacy yeah so he would uh his legion would
set up shop and spread out you know their pamphlets have you heard the word of our god the emperor of
mankind and they would slowly convert it to the imperium through faith they you know they would
fight they were space marines they it was time to fight they could fight but they much preferred
doing it through faith and whatnot and that was part of the reason that emperor was not a big fan
of lorgar because he was uh not keeping up the pace because to be fair again to lorgar those worlds
he landed on were brought up pretty well uh maybe if not up to the standards of like gilman and the
ultramarines they he lorgar didn't leave them in shambles and he made sure they were fanatically
loyal to the imperium because god was in charge of the imperium he also had a bit of a problem with
like everything the word bearers did would be a there would be a flare of storytelling they
wouldn't just do a fight they'd be like we need it to be a spectacle it was like okay when when we
go up to a fortress we're gonna send one of our chaplains and he's gonna give them offers and if
it doesn't work we're going to shower them with the angels from the sky and the behemoths from the
land and they would like make tales and fables about their victories it's like can't you just
get it done could you stop faffing around looking making yourself look cool
i uh yeah i uh i do have to say i've kind of leaned towards eli's side on this one it's like
you uh you have been given a fanatically loyal planet who will never turn traitor
well that's not good enough you need to give me 10 planets that all hate me because i burned their
cities to the ground thank you biggie very cool uh and but yeah that's uh a rough primer on lorgar
aurelian anything to add anyone here's my favorite by far i mean me and eli are the um you know the
meme of like the two the arnie and the other guy they have it's like like liking lorgar from
predator i saw that movie oh my god yes he saw a movie everyone you did it like you like go first
why do you like lorgar because he's right to the parasy i uh i like lorgar because because i hate
him so much does that make sense i think i said this like a couple of times to you guys because
uh like lorgar himself he's so humanly evil do you know what i mean kind of he's also just like
as a villain he's not like angron or padrabo where he's this mighty indomitable foe he's just that
conniving schemey little hey gilliam and caught me names kind of it shut up lorgar i don't know
names and burn down my home where my book's better than his book
yeah good times no i like him because he's not by it wordbearers are not my favorite legion um but
because annoyingly like after argotald gone it's like oh who do we have left who's actually likable
no one no one but lorgar is so lorgar's problem like a lot of these all the traitor ones have a
a general character flaw as in something that was exploited by horrors or by the gods lorgar's
gods lorgar's thing is that he has a selfish desire to be proven right about just general
fundamental view of the universe that he is willing to burn all of humanity to the ground
just so he was right and it's someone that seems to go oh that's what makes him terrifying like
lorgar like a lot of the traitors they'll basically destroy you but lorgar doesn't want to destroy you
he wants to sacrifice you to bring you to his side yeah he makes my like it's one of the things
right when i read like some of his books as well if if he's the only primark that made my skin
crawl just generally because it's like oh he's the primark who's the ugliest on the inside by far
because he is he's like the crazy fanatic who's like yeah i'll absolutely massacre everyone and
it was wonderful like he will say that and he'll actually believe it like conrad kurs knows he's a
monster and he's sad about it boohoo conrad kurs but lorgar is generally like and like horrors is
mad and mortarion is a hypocrite magnus is too arrogant to see it but lorgar genuinely believes
through his zealotry that he is doing the right thing and that's generally terrifying about him
he's also especially in the early days quite naive and i always think of lorgar as like a child given
demi-god powers like he he doesn't he doesn't have like a perspective beyond the zealotry of his
upbringing and so he he can't really i find as a character he doesn't process things very well
and that's not saying much considering the warhammer cast of the rogue's gallery of the traitors but
yeah yeah even so i always find lorgar to be that kind of like a little brother of the primarks well
none of the primarks really respect him he's the run to the litter and he's the one in the background
he's like oh my brother's stronger and more handsome than me i'll show them i'll show them
and that's lorgar he doesn't have good qualities either in this in the sense that there's nothing
there's nothing he's not redeemed by anything as well like i know i know a lot of people in the
book say he's very kind and generous with his time and he's very patient with the mortals and
stuff but it's like is that a veneer or is that genuine kindness or 100 against naivety like when
people like there's also a thing about lorgar he's emperor-like in the sense that when you're in the
presence of lorgar more than any other primark you feel the need to bend the knee and worship him
like his primark aura is said to be the strongest and he supposedly looks like the emperor obviously
the emperor's got hair because you know baldest he looks like he's the emperor of alopecia
pretty much lorgar's got face tattoos i forgot to add that incredibly important detail
they kind of call those ones though the little gold they are they are pretty sick
yeah he he generally um like in his presence you want to worship him people love him but he kind of
he knows this is a thing and he's he's a bit smug about it he's like yes i know people love me
uh-huh to be fair to what he didn't oh what's up andy i was just gonna submit sorry just a silly
fort like the emperor just see when he meets lorgar and he sees all the tattoos on his face
he's like you're gonna regret those when you're older shut up dad you don't know me
me generally my favorite uh i'll finish on that just you know generally makes my
his insides make my skin crawl his belief system like oh my god actually evil correct me if i'm
wrong but didn't leeman write some of the stuff he or read some of the stuff he wrote down and
was like he's quite liked it yeah he confronts angron with um some of his writings and angron's
like ah scholarly brother he's rubbish he's weak and leeman's like there's wisdom in here like he
knows where he's a weakling yeah i agree but he has got a few good points at the very least
like them so yeah i've seen leeman was surprisingly enough he stopped um he stopped magnus and leeman
from attacking each other before the her for the fall of prospero he actually was the one who was
able to he stood in the middle of the thousand suns and space warps and said stop fighting each
other we're friends and he managed it that's how much he is that's how he was he's obviously not
not horus levels charismatic but that's how much he was able to and to be fair to laura when angron's
recounting the night of the wolf where leeman russ and him clashed in the space wars and such fought
the uh the world he does laura he's like telling oh i was the victor and i was right and blah blah
and laura was actually going no you didn't listen to leeman leeman is that leeman was absolutely
right oh you you monster what have you done what have you done and so there was that i think i
think with leeman it's like leeman can't express his philosophical side because you know his legion
is a bunch of drunk vikings but like i guess he he pines for oh i want to be taken more seriously
by the emperor is like as a thinker and he's like oh loregar's championing that oh okay he's kind of
doing that thing i don't i like to do more and he's you know he's got a good head on his shoulders
until you know hell from grace but still the only downside i'll say is when he becomes fully
corrupted by chaos he kind of i enjoyed how weak and vulnerable and how much he is a runt and then
when he's corrupted by chaos he's like here's that annoying thing where it's like oh i've done my
super male grindset thing now so now i'm no now i'm a jab yeah he's kind of he's no longer like
the runt like he's obviously a psyker too so he does that thing earlier in the heresy where he
briefly like stops horus and he can like manipulates horus when they're like first
meeting on the the ventral spirit because of his like psychic prowess and influence but then at the
end of the heresy he just gets backhanded by horus when he tries to take the throne he's like yeah
loregar out you're no longer in the club he banishes psychic projection magnus he also knocks out
fulgrim but his demon host fulgrim just straight up claps him down but yeah he he i i think he's
the most compelling in terms of right he's probably one of the best written isn't there that quote as
well from the primarchs was like me and my brothers used to think loregar was the weakest of all of us
after the heresy we knew we were wrong something along those lines maybe that's like he wrote
written written by orgar lorellian
if the emperor just let him be then the heresy wouldn't have happened
nalkador uh did say out of all the primarchs they wish they could have saved loregar yeah if the
emperor just embraced it delicto whatever it's called diminutive time limit to go to see if it
would have come to be it would have it would have probably come to be around anyway or if he stopped
giving off every single appearance of being a god yeah yeah but then they but you know what the
fallout would have been it's pata rabo in the corner going religion is cringe that's cringe
oh a little bit of just pretty rabble probably and then kota rabbi and heresy of him and just
show up with him and everyone's cringe him and like curse and that's it and then there's 16 other
people kicking them to death geez oh yeah it's like hey here's these visions of me uh coming down
from heaven with my angels and then it's i'm also gonna make sure it comes true uh but sorry i was
just troll it happened again elia we lost you like we uh he was just i was the emperor silencing
i cut out again yeah he said yeah he said i was just troll oh my god it was emperor his troll
emperor troll loregar is what i'm trying to see yeah but uh with loregar done andy would you like
to tell us who lives we've got a lot of work to do oh yes please um vulcan lives so so um this is
very this is a very traitor heavy episode because again the split is you get six six loyalists and
three traders in the first ten and then the reverse in this one so this is the only one i
get to speak of but although a lot of people would say he's not necessarily their favorite primarch
everyone likes this guy uh vulcan is the primarch of the 18th legion he would be raised and he was
be he would be spirited away to a planet called nocturne and nocturne was a volcanic you know very
kind of i think it's a death world technically yeah but there is there is you know like there is a
society this is the society's full of hard-working nice people there's no famines there's no wars
were but there is a there is a drukhari problem which i'll mention a bit later an infestation if
you will yeah a little little bit i do have to ask colin do you you get upset when eldari get
clapped but does it upset you when drukhari get clapped i mean they kind of deserve it
yeah also the thing with the dark elder is they usually get at least some amount of credit in
return like uh speaking of later when the salamanders invade kamara and wipe out the
old noble families of the old elder empire that are left that was on purpose by vect so like when
the dark elder are losing they either give as good as they get or they're losing because a different
dark elder planned the whole thing you compare that with the regular elder which is oh games
workshop needs someone to punch the death hey avatar a cane how you doing although in warhammer
tv shows the drukhari get clapped by everyone yeah that is true so i was even thinking about with the
that iron within shore i'm like oh hey look oh good they uh they should be moving faster than
the guardsmen can perceive but i guess not anyway usually not as anger and drukhari loose it's
changing yeah yeah um yeah so so volkan grew up on this planet called nocturne again one of the few
primarchs who had a good father figure he was raised by a quote black smiter called nobel which
is basically a blacksmith on nocturne so he learned how to craft an artifice several contraptions and
armor and weapons and innate in his being was this ability to craft wondrous things you know
perderabo is a craftsman he has blueprints in his mind he knows what he's going to make
volkan's the opposite because he doesn't know what he's going to make he goes into like these
weird like trances where he just builds something he's like oh i guess i made this terrifying
weapon um but in his early years he learned under his father and you know he learned to create
things with his hands and he was you know a credit to his people and he grew up with great values
and he he learned from the quote promethium creed which is what the nocturnians use as like a guide
for both spiritual and social well-being however uh the the lovely childhood of the the boy who
would grow up on a volcano wild would be interrupted with the intervention of the drukhari
and they had been raiding this planet for centuries they'd been harassing the people
they took people as slaves and they they'd kind of harvest and leave kind of like the uh the
collectors from mass effect too but um not as insecti um however this time uh you know nabelle
is about to you know kind of go in his like air raid shelter and go like right we should we should
we should hide volkan says no no i'm not going to do that he picks up two hammers not one two and
he goes and he's like i'm gonna fight them and nabelle goes i can't let you go out alone so he
goes with him and all of a sudden one of their friends i can't remember his name he's a he's a
well-respected blacksmith he goes you're gonna you're gonna fight these guys i stand with you
and then eventually the entire settlement stands with vulcan and they beat the crap out of the
drukhari they destroy the drukhari because they didn't expect to to to face the the the biggest
bulkiest primarch there is you know wasn't he leading to warhammers he was like two years old
or something when they did but he's i'm pretty sure he's already taller than all the guys there
yeah he's bigger than like these guys who make metal work for a living like yeah pretty strong
um and they they basically completely stop the the dark eldar from invading again they just go oh
it's not worth it anymore and shortly thereafter when the planet's burgeoning or the or the um
um i don't know it's not because iron hands have have uh well they they're not called tribes they're
called um clans it's nocturne clans or is it a different title they have i think it's similar
to i think it is clans but uh they don't go it's not clan blah blah blah it's something something
clan well they got set they got like seven settlements and with the drukhari no longer
raiding they unite they work together and everyone's happy and shortly thereafter uh a stranger
i think actually this might be the when he's called the outlander whatever a stranger appears
and they're like and and something to to be worth noting the nocturnians have a uh have a thing
where they have these like glowing red eyes and jet black skin and all of a sudden there's like
this white dude like who's this guy where did he come from he's like oh he's just a stranger just
visited our planet and they're like okay uh what's up with him and he's like oh i heard you're having
these revelries and you're having these you know these big trials these these games of endurance
and strength to show off how cool you all are i want to put my hat in the ring and i want to try
them out and so the the townsfolk go what you you know this scrawny guys from some weird planet we
don't know about what you're going to do and say oh i'll challenge your biggest bulkiest strongest
guy to any challenge so vulcan steps up and they they compete in these games and i'm not sure i if
i remember correctly they kind of have an even split of wins between them like vulcan wins some
stranger wins some and eventually they say we're going to sort this out with one final test where
we're going to hunt the salamanders of the wilds and these salamanders are not just like little
lizards they're like dragons they're huge and the stranger says we'll go out there we'll go to this
mountaintop where there's these big ones that roam around come back in like 24 hours whoever's got the
biggest salamander corpse wins so vulcan kills one it's pretty big and he goes this is pretty
good i'll take i'll take this back and then the the mountain he's on where there's a volcano erupts
and it throat he's carrying this massive salamander and he falls off this i think it's a bridge or a
ravine or something and he's like holding on by his fingertips and his salamander falls into the
lava pits below and disintegrates i'll probably hold on to it for age i know he was holds on to
it with one hand doesn't he yeah yeah he refuses to let go of it yeah i can't let go of this
because it's it's like my prize then the stranger finds him hanging off this edge and goes pretty
big salamander that and the stranger's got this gargantuan one on his back like one arm over his
shoulder like oh that's a pretty big salamander mine's bigger mine's like it's always like so
sorry lost the competition but the but the almost folded there the stranger goes no i can't let you
die and he just chucks away his salamander corpse and he goes i'll pull you up and vulcan's like no
i can't like bollocks so he lets go of the salamander so he can you know take take the
stranger of a hand and be pulled up and you know he's a big dude and this guy's oh just lift you
up no problem i think he still has the corpse of the massive um salamander salamander yeah he doesn't
drop it still oh yeah so the yeah the emperor castes in the fire to to save vulcan doesn't he
and then he walked he walks across it to he sacrifices his own prize to make sure vulcan
yeah so the vulcan can live and so they go back to the village and vulcan's like i've got this big
salamander the emperor the stranger didn't get one vulcan's like no he he did it was i'm telling
you it was this big it was way bigger than mine um so the stranger actually won and the stranger
revealed himself to be the emperor and said you you know you're pretty good at a lot of things my
son why don't you come with me on my rocket ship i'll go back to holy terra and we'll show you some
cool stuff and does that really dodge it like he said the emperor arrived and said get in my van
oh that was it from um is it oh what's the car thing it flies the child catcher guy he's like
oh children bang bang yeah come out so play yeah got out some lollipop and went come get your lolly
no he didn't um that's an image yeah that is an image um but yeah then vulcan would be installed
as the the the leader of the 18th primarch named the salamanders after their great bout of you know
endurance and tests on nocturne and vulcan's a really nice guy like everyone loves vulcan
he's a master craftsman he's the tallest primarch he's this big friendly giant and
everyone in the 40k universe community loves vulcan i don't i've never met anyone who says i
don't like vulcan because he's just so likable he's nice he's good to his sons he's good to the
people and the citizenry his his his legion is famously famously very good at you know protecting
the innocent and being good fellows and he he he's he's not to the same standard of like horace or
gilliam and where the imperium respects him like they respect them they still go oh i think the
thing is with like nocturne because of their like glowing red eyes the imperium's kind of like oh i
don't know about this guy he's kind of intimidating but then they go oh they're big softies they're
big teddy bears oh we love them when we get to know them it's it's like the difference between
like oh my god these are the great heroes of the imperium and vulcan's like this is my best friend
i love this guy yeah exactly and um one fact about uh vulcan he cannot die because he is a
perpetual so every time he gets killed i'm not sure when he first discovered this um might have been
istvan he correct us oh yeah it would have been it would have been this far yeah so on's like oh
it's all going terribly bang oh i'm dead hang on i'm back that's weird and so yeah vulcan's special
ability is he every time he dies you could you could you could you could drop him in a pit of
lava and at what point at one point he is put in a pit of lava and he comes out unscathed somehow
he just disintegrates and then i guess the the the carbon atoms of his body bubble up to the surface
and then outside of the pit of lava they coalesce again into his body and starts off as like a
skeleton then the tissue grows and then all of a sudden he's back to normal um i think the the
worst one was when seizure terror magnus demon magnus destroys him on a on a molecular level
until he's just a charcoals like skeleton thing and that starts to regenerate that's what i do
oh oh well curse curse puts him in like one of the engines of like the the nightfall but like straps
into one of the engines at the back where like the exhaust isn't just disintegrates him and then he
wakes up the next day and it's like vulcan's back what do you mean vulcan's back we put him in the
and it's like no he's like he's in he's in the like mess room what and he can't keep him down
you can't keep a good vulcan down and vulcan lives stomp stomp vulcan lives vulcan famously
lives stomp stomp and uh basically vulcan was uh he he had he was so good at crafting stuff he had
like hundreds of amazing wonders of of artifice and he famously told his forge master to kell
i want you to only save i think it's nine of these relics and everything else you you chuck into the
volcano volcano fires and destroy because he was so good at crafting weapons he was he was fearful
that they would be used against the imperium so he said if i can't look after these things they're
going to get in the wrong hands and so i'm going to task my my most trusted forge master to burn
everything that i that that we have because i'd rather burn all these wonders i've created in a
fugue state rather than them be used by the traitors and uh he would die quote at the battle
of istvan and he can't keep a good vulcan down he would not let that slow him down at all so uh
anything else we want to mention about vulcan if anyone if i'm ready to is there one else want
to go first or should i uh you could go i was gonna say if again if someone's new to warhammer
and you're probably wondering sounds all right but why is everyone pretty like vulcan vulcan is the
other than maybe gilliman and a few others vulcan is really raised like actually like a normal
person like with family and love and he's actually given a healthy like a healthy life and that and
he turns out obviously he's the most he's the most human truly the most human on the inside
of the primarchs unless you are an unarmed elder child i was thinking that yeah then you get the
flamethrower have you seen that meme of the salamanders in the bushes and his nails oh my
gosh this is wrong and he just chucks a knife and he's like it's got a wife and sets fire
he's he's he's really he's not just fight when we say nice he is he's not just nice like he can
really lay it down uh if he needs that sounds less filthy he he puts between a child and an orbital
bombardment doesn't he in the heart of the dragon he also um i was like he that even when he's even
amongst his brothers as well he the reason he wouldn't often win against him in so-called like
duels or like bouts like people don't often rank him high up on like the who's the best duelist
is because he would always hold back because he's the only one of them who didn't want to hurt them
he actually loved them and so he would always hold back and then obviously famously basically
after the point of in the heresy when he decided all right i'm not holding back anymore he's
basically won every fight since then like he i'm not holding back proceeds to crunk cause like
it's also a hammer the best line ever and like literally smash like you know uh with the hammer
and uh who's the character in smash bros who like um ice climb yeah it might be that yeah and then
just like just absolutely crunks or like either um it's smash bros when you do the move with the
baseball bat oh yeah he like and then someone goes flying off the edge that was a vulcan
uh singing that one where it's like like that that power hand it's like
that the strongest one he even he beat magnus as well in the throne room he literally
there's a it sounds really awful in this when you read the book like the description of it
because basically magnus tries to uh kill the emperor he fails and then accidentally kills
one of vulcan's sons in front of him and he just goes no you dickhead and he just i don't know if
he said that exactly no he did say that there's a really funny it's really a bit morbid but it's
funny because then him and two other salamanders proceeds like kind of you know when someone on
the floor and they're like they're kicking them when they're down so it's like beating on him
like one of them cuts his hand off and then just they're all just like cranking like oh like you
know just smacking him so vulcan can actually beat a lot of the other primarchs because he is
physically the strongest one out of all of them he's always held back because he's so nice to be
to be fair to magnus he did kill vulcan to then not be fair to magnus that doesn't mean anything
he killed him later he for a demon magnus killed him normal magnus couldn't oh yeah no i mean even
ferris manus in that i believe his heart the dragon is like observing him fighting and he's like
yeah he's a destroyer i think that's the word he uses like in a fight i've seen the other primarchs
fight he he goes scorched forgive the pun scorched earth because salamanders love fire and uh yeah but
he's a very nice chap he's very wholesome you know all the memes he's usually like they're really like
the guy who loves dogs stuff like that like oh i love vulcan he's a friendly giant but again a giant
that can probably flatten you have a literally pancake but choosers not do because he's a nice
guy pancake pancake use an actual term we have to use now he can pancake pancake pancakes a word
bearing flat right take that um but other than that uh otherwise colin would you like to resume
on our last loyalist uh to talk about for the whole of the primarchs we've covered so far
i would but really quickly there's a comparison actually as you were speaking with a warhammer
fantasy character if i could do that real quick sure i know this is going i was thinking it as
well it was like that popped in my head as you were speaking it was like all right someone at
gw copied their homework uh but it's uh the character's name actually their names are even
kind of similar uh vaulton he's uh the so he was born and kind of like vulcan he has like this
understanding of craftsmanship he's born stronger and more intelligent than the others
and in the way you know vulcan's a primarch he's kind of obviously special because he's the size
of three grown men at age three uh vaulton was born with a twin-tailed comet birthmark
the uh sign of sigmar so both of them are kind of marked for greatness and even both of them are
both raised by blacksmiths and learn how to be smiths and even they have the exact same like
combat thing too almost to a t where uh in vulcan's case is the dark eldar in vaulton's case
a massive horde of beastmen raid the village he's born in and sure enough uh vaulton picks up two
of his father's blacksmith hammers goes to town and all the villagers fight with him and drive off
the beastman so it's like poetry they rhyme yeah it was like oh as you were speaking i was like
that is neat i was thinking that i didn't want to mention that because i thought you might mention
vaulton at some point is he born in sigmar or not actually reborn sigmar so a portion of sigmar's
power is in vaulton and a portion of it is in galmar as and then when vaulton the empire endures
except it doesn't because vaulton's an end times character i don't want to spoil and spoil what
happens to him but it is uh pain this is a certified death master moment
classic there and i was like it's not a classic this is a garbage fire
nobel peace prize and above that is certified hood class
that's an achievement oh like one of them but uh but yeah that was that was just something as
we were you speak it was like oh hang on a minute they rhyme like you said uh well with that said
shall we clothe the raven we shall quote the raven nevermore bird bird bird bird bird nevermore
corvus corex are you serious i've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still
that i've become invisible to the eye uh sums it up basically that's uh that's that's that's
corvus corex for you corvus corex is kaka kaka he was uh he landed on the moon lisaeus uh once again
apologies to any greek speakers out there all right believe it's all right lisaeus i gotta write
yeah which was a like like like chaos lisaeus one of the two uh but this it was a moon orbiting the
planet of kiavar kiavar was a forge world while lisaeus was basically a planet-wide mining pit
that would supply the forge world with materials for them to make all their stuff they had guilds
down on kiavar and they supplied themselves with the slave labor up on lisaeus and when corvus
landed there the people who found him believed that he was a savior they had been waiting for
and because of you know and you know he's a baby that falls out of the sky seems to be doing
quite well for himself for a baby that fell out of the sky so despite the fact that because they're
slaves they don't exactly have a lot to go around they pull together what they have to keep him alive
and train him and all the things they know so because they they're kind of going all in on
corvus being the savior the uh they train them in the art things like rulership philosophy politics
but more uh relevantly for course corvus's skill set all sorts of covert black ops stuff stealth
sabotage if you really need to do an assassination sneaking about all that uh sneaky stuff the his
legion would become known for and as he was growing up he slowly diverted resources to weapons
productions he didn't do it all at once he made sure to be quiet about it so that the guilds down
in kiavar wouldn't notice this uh the shipment is about half as big it should have been and these
slaves have a lot more weapons than they did before he was very cautious with it and he would
store away weapons into caches to be used for later and while he was doing that him and his operatives
would essentially stoke the fires of rebellion so they stoke discontent they'd cause riots at key
moments and locations and uh just imagine the world's most emo french resistant operative and uh
you got corvus corax and uh when it was finally time for open open uh revolt
is that what god what's what's that line from dawn of war uh corvus deployed multiple simultaneous
and devastating deep strikes across lysaias uh with all those weapons that he had uh been storing away
and when kiavar responded with its military proper corvus and his forces used just the best urban
combat hint run tactics you have ever seen in your life and wore them down with just unparalleled uh
tactical and strategic uh warfare and it came to a head when the gravity tethers used to
fairy supplies to kiavar were nuked uh so if you played if you ever played halo 3 odst
that mission where the new mambasa the space elevator falls apart in front of you
that only multiple times eat fur straight into hell and back again
uh and this uh caused the plant kiavar because its sources of supplies are no longer existent
plunged into civil war and the plant the inhabitants of kiavar renamed the planet to deliverance
and i think yeah corvus is corvus corax's name even translates to savior or deliverer if i'm
remembering the exact thing correctly but not the one we hear because we know exactly what it means
no because his name means bird bird for us raven raven oh what oh thank you dw that's almost as bad
as iron hands oh someone corrected me the day on my iron hands video ferris manus doesn't mean iron
hands what does it mean it means iron man i know it's not it's not much better manus manus
brow brow manus manus it is not actually iron congratulations we're up from an f to an f plus
i guess it was iron hands be like uh ferris appendage was appendus no one hasn't noticed by
the way this there's a heavy um cough the raven uh edgar allen pow yeah which is garland pow is
corvus corax which is funny because i read that he doesn't really like poetry it just it's really
funny to me i think oh there's like a whole also his life kind of rhymes with elements of that poem
as well which is like oh i i it's one of the few things where like if you read it you go it's not
too bad but from when you describe it to you the listeners our victims you think what are these
people talking about this person copied my homework when it's not some when it's summed up in five
minutes and not a 300 page novel it's kind of insufferable not insufferable but it's like oh
that is so heavy-handed it's it's better it's a bit pretentious we can say that like arcan land
and land raiders that's not even pretentious that's just stupid that's the guy that's like good
stupid though this is corvus corax this is feels lazy at times bird bird i'd say unfortunately he
has i hate to say it guy hailey's has got one of the worst primark books as like the just the
exclusive primark novels i didn't uh have you read that one andy too the which one corax the corax um
just the primark not yet not yet i mean to be honest i wasn't really a fan of the magnus one
i was reading that i was listening to that i was like oh it's a bit slow is it really meh ones i
think that one unfortunately has one of the most boring it's really annoying because guy hailey
is a really good writer but i think he's given when he's when you're given corvus corax unfortunately
it has a slight trouble where a lot of the other legions have like an interesting
cultural or thing to draw from let draw from the raven garden corvus corax's draw is not
as at least i'll say to me not as compelling every other pages and then he brooded in the corner
menacingly nevermore yeah he's he's not he's not bad it's just i will say something good about him
which is uh his flaw as a human being is written quite well because he is obviously he looks very
similar to comrade curse there's there's obviously a coincidence there the reason that him and
you know the gaunt you know gaunt features black hair and black eyes the reason they obviously
look so similar but they also have a both have a problem with justice and corvus corax's problem
is similarly that he just he just cannot uh let go of things and so he even in his own prime art
book he rather than making a sound tactical decision he actually abandons his theater of war
to chase down a criminal who would escape it even though it's not the it was he was making a moral
he was making a moral decision that wouldn't that would obviously affect the battle in itself and
it shows you he's got kind of a similar problem with comrade where he just needs he doesn't let
people escape his vengeance okay well if that's the case then do you reckon if conrad and corax
what places that corax would be as bad as curse or that was their whole thing that's what yeah
that's what which side are you taking are you taking the night haunter or the liberator
i'll elia go first i think i need to i i remember something about it but i need to digest it elia
what do you think uh i think he'd probably end up just as bad as curse but i don't really
i don't know much about him other than he got ratioed by the alpha legion
and also in my in my filthy disgusting alternate reality uh conrad happens to be the perfect
gene steeler cult primark it's just throwing that oh that is quite heresco that one
what do you think colin uh i mean i don't i i like i like i mean i like corvus more
i i don't even know i that he's hard to know isn't he most people don't know much about i think
conrad curse is pretty cool uh at least in like the whole like just with his psychic visions and
being tormented all the time and his whole thing with fate but i do like how corvus saw his legion
and was like i need to change this because otherwise i'm going to end up like that guy
over there so i don't know corvus has some definitely has some bright spots but
and ding what do you think well the thing i was thinking about this a while back like
the corex has the innate ability to absorb the darkness and be invisible one of the reasons he
isn't found on like as is because he can literally just people can look straight at him and not see
him so i feel like if he grew up on the stramo instead of massacring people to survive he'd be
able to just skulk and sneak around and and avoid conflict in that regard and maybe i maybe it's just
me thinking oh corex is a good boy he would maybe target the elites and then rather than
preying on the populace whereas like because if he was on like chaos he would kind of do the same
thing because you know corex is there going ah you merely adopted the dark i was born in it
by it and just he could he would do it in a different way and i feel like
he would he would get different outcomes maybe that's just me making mental gymnastics but i
feel like the core principles of those two are so different in their own way yeah that they would
get similar outcomes actually funny enough i just remembered it i had to think about it so i remember
it's been a while since i've read corvus's uh books unfortunately i had to read all of them i
suffered but i remember it's funny because in each of like comrades and corvus's books when they talk
about each other comrade admits he's jealous of corvus in a way because he's like he obviously
mastered the shadows whereas common just lived in it where corvus has a thing where he deeply like
hates himself on some level and he often thinks that he actually would have if he had landed like
similar if he wasn't basically raised with people who took care of him he probably would have ended
up like comrade like a monster so he doesn't really that like he has like a deep fear about
ending up like that and also there's like a there's a gene flaw within the raven car that most people
don't know about which is i can't remember the name of it but they actually like a member can
fall into a state of like deep self-loathing like it's literally in his blood they get like really
angry they get really like moody and broody blood to be emo yeah pretty much yeah and they they
can't they just start finding hot topic shirts everywhere like where did i get this i don't even
know this band whose shirt what's this they're pretty much someone like as they go like through
the stages they don't communicate well with other marines and they like get really like
uh fidgety and purse it's just like they just become moody gits the longer it goes on it's like
they they can't very rarely do some of them make it out of it as well so most of them ended up
just go they go to like these special squads that are essentially used as like oh you'll do basically
whatever mission is like got 0.1 odds you'll be the hornyest i think so yeah but they there's
something within corvus where he's deeply self-loathing and especially after is fine i mean
fucking i know his entire leasing get as soon as he's at is funny as an outlet he's like cut my foes
into pieces this is my master he is some redeeming quality about him he is kind of like gilliamon in
the sense that he's actually extremely competent and there's a there's a cool part of one of the
novels where he returns back to terror and they go to get the some of the special gene seed primark
gene seed in the emperor's lab and the emperor shows core called how to basically navigate it
and he kind of does that thing where like he goes like all right i'm going mind state and he
basically navigates an entire he navigates his legionaries and custodians through like an entire
maze like just with his he does that thing in the robert downey jr. sherlock holmes films where he's
like envisioning he's like yeah do this and that and then that i think you're a jimmy neutron brain
blast yeah a little bit cooler than that but he is yeah the downsides of corvus unfortunately are
like some of the writing stuff but in general he said well he's all right he's he's kind of cool
and obviously fighting against the raven god is terrifying because it's just you know basically
their shadows the enemy is the shadows where are they it's like fighting a million battles
where are they where are they where are we going to get back from to uh to wrap off with chorus
court court court birdman course birdman harvey birdman dunnett law he uh the emperor arrives on
the same day as the renaming of the planet to deliverance and he was pretty happy with the
court with what with what corvus had done and in exchange for the emperor helping restore order
down on kiavar so you know corvus he's got he's got a sense of justice he's not too vengeful
he uh the corvus will take command of the raven guard legion of space marines uh they spoke for
a couple days no one knows what they said that just kind of they hashed out that deal during
that time and corvus would uh as i kind of said a bit earlier he would he was not a fan of the
terran elements of his legion because they were a bit too uh night hauntery for him for his likings
so they would uh he would kind of send them off to do things separate from the rest of the legion
and then uh they uh go across the galaxy great crusading very sneakily and then interestingly
enough two things he uh he is the guy i kind of said earlier he was the one primarch who wasn't
the biggest fan of horus i believe i the reason was horus kind of ordered him to do like a frontal
assault of a fortified enemy location 65 or something like 46 gate 46 yeah he's like uses
them as pawns and he's like my son and he's very protective of his studies as well like he does not
like his men dying at all yeah so horus forced him into something that a was completely out of the
raven guards element standard operating procedure and b resulted in a lot of dead birds so corvus was
not out of all the primarchs corvus corex was probably the only one who did not like horus
because of that and if i remember correctly that was rather early on in the uh horus's tenure as
the war master so that could have been horus's kind of growing pains as the war master although
that being said i could just be giving horus credit and maybe he was just being a prick
i mean he didn't think it through he's like i want the raven guard to do like an iron warriors-esque
frontal assault yeah brah do you know what the raven guard do are you what are you on about yeah
i'm gonna do sneaky stuff that's what they do not not great showing by horus funny that he
then again horus also didn't like his men dying so he was like oh the raven guard can die instead
because my son my son's more important basically fuck you got mine yeah like i'm not i'm not sending
my men to do the dirty work and get no you do it yeah and then uh one last thing for horus he had
or not horus chorus oh my god corvus corex stop stop naming characters ending with us
gwi beckham raven man edgar ellen poe he uh he had an older sister slash mother figure named
net suri effrenia which i thought was neat oh yeah she's the one who when he crash landed
he saw the little girl in front of his capsule she's the first human he ever saw and then later
he uh he saves her life and then she goes on to become a ship master if i remember correctly
she's like she's revised she takes him from istvan and she like she basically lives she's an old lady
by that time and she's been she's been out in the bauhs yeah she's she's pretty old but she's pretty
it's pretty cute that part because like he rides back on the ship armor damage and you know most of
his legion died it's just like oh there you are friend what are you doing on his fan step brother
oh yeah why'd you ruin it it was so nice
oh it's a very glad call in moment i lied in the script when i said i would hold myself back from
any uncouth jokes and uh with that andy would you like to talk about the alpha legion guys
is
all right okay um so little is known about our faris good night folks that's all we got
thanks guys for listening we appreciate it yeah like and subscribe um no okay um it's kind of
again i know i said um who's i said on the primarch the horse there isn't much before the heresy
how far is there isn't much at all that's kind of his thing um but yeah the the interesting thing
about the 20th primarch is there's actually two and we have to disclaimer this um according to
our faris the guy who's known to be a manipulator and a liar he was the first primarch ever to be
found so take it with a grain of salt the idea is uh when the primarchs were scattered across the stars
one of the twins omega would be spirited away but our farius actually never left terror the
i i can't remember exactly where it was but the emperor and the custodians just kind of go like
oh here's one like they just go outside and there's just a pod on the floor and they're like found him
cool that's that's a quick quick primarch found oh my god you have to i have to say the the
emperor actually does superhero landing it's so funny in the book because it's like he gets
out the pod and they're like like scrounging humans next to it like they're they're wondering
like what's going on and the baby our far is is like i'm gonna have to fight these people and then
it's just superhero landing and then like golden man descends that he just kills all all he's like
i'm sorry i had to do that i like to imagine the emperor was going for a snack and he opened his
drawer he's like oh there's a baby in here oh it's the what's the one no one likes oh wait that's my
baby that licorice flavored oh oh dear anyway moving on swiftly from that comment um so
according to our far as he was mentored by the emperor for a very long time because
even though kafonia was close it still took the took the emperor a while to find horace lubicao
and so alpharius sneakily positions himself as actually the protagonist of the 40k universe
and says oh actually i was the first one found i was the one the emperor trusted most i killed
a custodian on my own on icool and he basically says that he was he was kind of like the emperor's
sleeper cell contingency for all the plans he made he bigs himself up as the one who's
the one working in the shadows malcador-esque doing dirty work and sneaky stuff and also putting on a
public face and masterminding a lot of the stuff that the other primarchs aren't privy to again
take it with a grain of salt it's the alpha legion um alpharius would reunite with his brother omegon
and once they once they got the band back together alpha legion alpha legion alpha legion all over
the place and no one knows exactly what they were up to or what they do um their allegiances up to
the horus heresy we you know some people say alpharius is a loyalist others say he's a traitor
others say that omegon's the traitor and alpharius is the loyalist some people say omegon is alpharius
and alpharius is omegon some people say that rebute gilman is alpharius some people say that
alpharius died at the hands of dawn others say that gilman killed him others say that ted on
planet nova scotia killed him no one knows it's the alpha legion alpharius i are the
hydrodominators i am alpharius this is a lie i don't know what more to say it's alpharius he's
good at infiltrating his short he hasn't you're actually losing it he has great intelligence but
no one knows whose side he's on is he a heretic is he alive is he dead is he a loyalist i don't
know it's alpharius alpharius everyone this is a lie let me this is let me it's too much energy
let me walk you through a scenario let's say alpharius goes to mcdonald's to pick up a burger
here's how games workshop would write that alpharius went to mcdonald's to pick up a burger
but maybe it was burger king and maybe it was the space marine it wasn't alpharius but what if it
was alpharius but it was omegon we won't tell you any answers because we don't know what a mystery
is we're just going to throw what is a big mac all all of the what is a big mac did he really
order a burger maybe it was a shamrock shake by the way go get yourself a shamrock shake this is not
sponsored i just fucking love shamrock shakes uh yeah it's the the alpha legions writing is to
throw all of the questions you could possibly have on the floor and then never pick them up never
answer them some say that alpharius went for the vegan option but we all know that alpharius is a
cannibal uh no a carnivore this is a lie it's like but that itself is a lie alpharius is vegan but
he's not he's i don't know how to write mysteries omegon says he's a pescatarian but we all know
that omegon lies and if you're slightly but this is a lie if you're slightly lost uh listening to
this for the new people here uh the alpha legion uh deception of lies themselves they're pretty
hard to follow at times and often to us i think as well someone's quite frustrating because it's
there's a bit of a trope of aha we knew all along that kind of thing in certain stories you have
various like alpharis all along yeah it's a little bit frustrating but they are pretty they are cool
in many ways but that's it's a big overarching trope though the premise could be cool it's just
an execution you'll never get any straight answers which again mystery is cool i like when there's
mysteries give you stuff to talk about but nothing is ever answered and it's just it just gets
frustrating after a while when and and like you said hell add on top of that every other drop of
a hat games workshop we go oh actually the alpha legion planned this all along or did they here's
a question see if we can get a consensus on this uh did alpharius get killed by roguedorn yes or no
yes maybe no technically see three different answers right there it's a no my legion because
this is some deep this is like deeper i think this theory is conjecture i think this is this is
this is slightly condensate i don't think it's that grounded no it's in the alpha legion book
when alpharis and omegon met omegon was found last alpharis supposedly first when they when he
rescued his brother and they arrived back on their flagship they agreed to trade places
permanently so the alpharis who had been on terror then became omegon and so therefore throughout
the horrors heresy where it seemed like omegon was sabotaging at certain stages that was the
alpharis who's slightly more terran loyal because he obviously grew up on terror so when we say
alphari got killed by roguedorn that's actually omegon who was whisked away by the chaos gods to
a different planet so alpharis didn't die that day alpharis is considered alive well of course
if that makes sense then flip that around how do we know they didn't switch places again or how do
we know that like musical chairs didn't just lie about it we'll never know but most of the
alpha legion also have one of the better books in the entire horrors heresy which is the book legion
because they do have uh they are quite interesting in the fact that they operate like i think you
say colin you like how the ultramarines operate like a modern army the alpha legion in some of
the books which they're good in they actually operate like a modern espionage cell cia they
are comp they really are competent and that is annoying when there's so much like but uh huh
but the true thing all along but they do have their redeeming factor is that they do outclass
a lot of the legions not necessarily in combat but in terms of the other legions will win the battle
but the alpha legion will always win the war but they but if they have to agree on what war they're
fighting first if you know i guess the real alpharius was the alpharius as we made along the
way yeah that's right i think elia you hate that book don't you where alpharius dies too
the i wasn't a big fan of it why do you why do you hate that one so much because i haven't read it
yet it's been a while since i read it but it's mostly like i'm roguel torn and i'm smarter than
alpharius and i'm gonna outsmart the alpha legion at their own game for an entire book because the
alpha legion are prideful and because of that one negative trait they're gonna lose every battle in
this book that's that's that sums it up to me yeah there's something is there is like a bit where
the alpha legion deal with the shattered legions with um the iron hands and such and there's like
a bit where alpharius wink gets shot in the head and his brain gets blown out and then the real
alpharius turns up and he's so and if it is him he's so smarmy he like he outclasses all the
remaining assulties he kills a few he wounds a few and he's like oh look over there i'm about
to detonate this bomb tee hee hee oh you're not so clever hello nicona sharrigan you're a good
swordsman but i'm better don't try it bye it's like alpharius could you stop being smarmy for
two minutes that's that kind of that's the fatal flaw of it's always hard to know particularly the
20th primarch is true personality but the that's like kind of his fatal four isn't it where he
he wants others to see his brilliance he has a certain even though he's meant to be a stealth
and well not sorry not stealth but i mean uh sb deceptive espionage legion they do want others
to recognize it does make sense because they never get like any glory and so he's probably a bit like
oh my brothers get all this renown and i i want i want like a little just a little to satisfy me
it's like a serial killer leading notes to the police it is exactly that that's pretty that's
pretty spot on is uh something okay sorry i was i was just gonna say as far as i'm concerned
roguel dorn is my top favorite primarchs because he took a chain through the walfari is his face
because he cut his arms off first didn't he as well even better he died pretty badly one slight
redeeming thing about alpharius he actually values like normal humans to the same degree of like
space marines so the alphalegion often use operatives and they they've conquered worlds
without even putting a space marine on it yeah they conquered well as firing a single shot with
like um exodus they're like specialist sniper they're pretty efficient um can i just mention
like stupid um colin you said roguel dawn cut off alpharius's arms and then before he died roguel
dawn said to alpharius hydra domina armless
no it's it's it could be annoying but i would say like in the uh alphalegion sorry alphalegion
alpharis book though i did like some people i've seen that some of the other creators they don't
like that alpharis seems quite normal when he interacts with normal people but alpharis does
talk to like space friends can be a bit condescending and they'll talk to other you
know space we're with the super soldiers we're the best and alphalegion value the humans as much as
the astartes in their legion so their legion serfs are actually treated like equals which is
quite i like that because it shows how they function like an actual army would even though
they're a bit they're a bit you know of their own end shall we say in terms of oh we are smarter
than everyone if you if you bear the brand of the the hydra you're one of us doesn't matter if you're
astartes or not which is fairly admirable also that's pretty cool primarch armor alpharis's armor
the best armor he does by far he does oh my lord i will give gorgeous the hydra armor is by far
the coolest primarch i far i i'm in love with it it's my favorite look by this one run your
hands on the scales and be like look at the grooves it's the only one i'd think i would actually wear
that suit of armor out of all of the other primarchs i wouldn't wear magnus's like horned
uh monstrosity or the nipple horns or um doorways and everything i wouldn't wear that yeah it's the
only piece of armor i'd like i i'd wear that piece because that's glorious and also his weapon is
pretty cool vulcans uh cool i know if it's chunk and i'll be too heavy well but i'd actually all of
the primarchs would be too heavy alpharis is still like 10 feet tall in my head i'm not normal size
of me in a primarch sized armor i don't know if this could be in your head that you can have
vulcans armor too it's all i know it no it just looks too chunky yeah you can move fast i'm i'm a
i'm a jagatai simp i'd be like i like that cool because it's not like bulky armor it's got that
drip now even sanguine has got that drip with the like it's not not a um a cheetah but it's like
that big pelt that he wears and it's like the slow leopard looking thing i quite like the lion's armor
when he has his helmet on looks like a cool knight i think that i think they got i mean i know
fulgren's one's meant to be nicer but i do have to say i don't think i could wear it because you'd
have to look like a supermodel it's a bit much i'm going out tonight it's a bit much yeah maybe we
should take the glitter off something no i don't i don't mind the alpha legion as much because i
have you have it's one of those glons you have to read their books so then like they kind of again
it's like with corvus corex saying it's the raven raven oh if you if you read the alpha legion but
it's like oh this is actually pretty cool although again on a grand scale thing it's kind of annoying
because it just describing their like schemes is like oh they tend to cameo in a lot of other
legion books aside characters that are involved so that's the thing about alpha legion don't have
many books to themselves it's more of oh and they're also here doing something scheming i know so
annoying that also annoys me about them it's like hey look we're we're we're everywhere don't don't
ask where we got the resources to be here where the alpha legion we can just be everywhere and
there's someone who tries to do videos of all the legions i am running out of characters to talk
about from the alpha legion because they're all just bald guys and it's like i am alpharius like
cool anything interesting this is a lie all right next next character yeah teased oh we forgot to
say they also all surgically look like alpharius they they surgery themselves so they that level
espionage is just on the level of absurd they only one character could tell the diff i think we did
it was in our one of our shout out early quizzes only one person is able to pick out that alpharius
and on omegon from their own legionaries because they they're almost as the same height as a normal
legionary that was a john grammaticus because he could tell that they looked unreasonably similar
like all the other ones that had surgery there's always one or two features that were just not
quite perfect but they were uncanny and there's like easy and paste and you're like hang on
yeah he was the only person to also alpharius and omegon boy they got along really well
obviously they but then they didn't allegedly allegedly but we don't necessarily know if they
agreed long term about goals they might have been fighting all alive each other in the end
and tree with that five minute discussion of lore and 15 minute discussion of why the alpha legion
is annoying that has been the prime marks and yeah that is uh up to the great crusade in a little
bit during and also sometimes a little bit after the great crusade just as a little hint of what's
to come that should be your uh your primer on the prime marks your primer mark and uh yeah and if uh
let us know of course the uh the question of the week which primark you least want to babysit what's
the worst case scenario let us know the second question if you'd rather uh double jump and
shit yourself or fly and shit yourself don't forget that one either both scenarios have
and thank you thank you so much for watching uh listening and if you want to know more about
particularly a legion or a prime mark obviously let us know we love to hear your feedback and
obviously we want to do what you guys are interested in and they've all got books
they've all got books too and for our next episode we will be doing a little bit we're
gonna go a little bit further away from space marines we're gonna be doing the far sight enclaves
so with xenos some xenos law boys uh so we'll be doing some spicy uh tau but not quite tau
you'll see what we you'll see what we mean when we get into the nitty gritty indeed other than
that uh thank you so much for listening and we'll see you all very soon take care everyone