Hello everyone. Usually this would be the part where someone says welcome to lore crimes.
And I guess it is still welcome to lore crimes. So I just completely ran in circles in my
head. But we're doing something a bit different today is what I was building up to. Instead
of all of us getting together to do either a podcast discussing the beginner to expert
lore of a faction, person or era or a quiz where one of us gives a quiz and then one
of us fails incredibly badly and Eli wins. Or Hal comes in with the dark horse victory.
We have something a bit different. Andy, would you like to, do you want to explain what we
got going on here? Okay, so we currently do not know what we're going to call this, but
I'm sure if I'm editing this, I'll just flash it obnoxiously in your eyes right now to show
what the series is called. But essentially the premise is I know literally nothing about
Warhammer fantasy. I'm a 40k man. I enjoy the 40k books and the games, but I know fantasy
exists. I know there's something called Age of Sigmar and people don't like it as much.
And there's a guy called Car Frans that everybody loves. And there are these rat boys called
Skavens and there's some good games called Vermintide. But other than that, I know pretty
much nothing about Warhammer fantasy. So I thought, well, what about if I'm the person
who's the ancillary for the audience who knows barely anything from the ground up, we could
just go through the basics and talk about Warhammer fantasy with someone who actually
knows what they're talking about. And so here we have Colin, the master of Warhammer fantasy
lore on the channel, who can tell a dunce like me what goes on in the universe.
And today, because we'd like to date this first little project episode to be as introductory
as it can, we're just going to go through a map of the Warhammer fantasy world and see
what's in it. So I'll just pick a location. We'll go through not quite all of them because
some of them are both unimportant and have about one sentence worth of lore to be talked
about. But all the big boys are going to get their hit, including of course, the Empire,
the high elves, the dwarfs. I'm going to go through all the big lads.
And before we get anywhere near into the actual map, I've got to just say the first thing
I've noticed about it is it's basically just like, you look at where it says Albion and
the Empire, it's just Europe. It's literally just Europe.
Yeah, that's what makes this a lot easier, even if you know nothing about Warhammer fantasy.
Because if you have a map of the earth pulled up, I can say go to this spot, go to the US
and go to South America and I go new world. There we are.
It's quite easy. I do like the little, the not earth. I think there used to be old lore
that all of the planets that the old ones made, because the old ones are involved in
fantasy too, because of course they are.
Couldn't keep away.
They used to make planets like this as a template, which theoretically means they also made earth
or based on earth. But this is old lore and digging into that may or may not be canon
and also Warhammer fantasy exploded. So nothing we'll see developed on ever again.
But with that, Andy, is there anywhere you'd like to start us off?
I think my only point of reference is, well, you're a big fan of the Empire. I live in
a place that used to be called Albion or Albia. So maybe we start near the sea of, is that
the sea of chaos?
That is the sea of chaos right above Albion.
Yeah. I guess if maybe we start there, we go down and then we go one either side and
see wherever you, so yeah, wherever we go with the conversation, see what takes our
fancy.
I think I like that idea. So we'll start at the very top. You see where it says chaos
wasteland and northern wastes?
Yeah.
And for anyone wanting to know where that correlates to on earth, the North Pole, it's
pretty self-explanatory. That's the area of the Warhammer fantasy world, the closest to
the Eye of Terror in comparison, where chaos is bleeding into reality. The realm of chaos
is bleeding into the Warhammer fantasy world.
Where the penguins live.
You know, there's actually a meme about that.
Is it cold?
Oh, it's very cold.
Yeah?
It's like we live in ice. Ice and chaos corruption. So it's ice and things that make you go crazy
whenever you look at it. And the reason for that is those old ones, again, they actually
are the reason even more so than 40K that everything looks the way it is because when
they were around, the old ones basically either created every race, most of the races anyway,
not the orcs, but like the elves, the dwarfs, they all created or uplifted them with a purpose
to fight chaos because they were getting ready to do that. It was explicit in fantasy. Chaos
just kind of happened in 40K and fantasy like, nope, no, we know it's here. We got to get
ready for it. The four chaos gods always existed. We got to get ready.
And the old ones, it's that they're the nemesis rather than space clouds.
Yeah, there's, to my knowledge, there's no katana equivalent in Warhammer fantasy.
Oh.
A bit of a shame, but it would be rather hard to have robots in a fantasy setting. Sometimes
they do try it, but.
Like the dwarfs in the Elder Scrolls with the Dwemer where they just have like golden
mechanical spiders and stuff. That could work maybe.
That would have been sick, but that kind of thing wouldn't happen. I don't believe it
ever really happened. In AOS there might be something like that, but for now, none of
that tragically. But to get back to the old ones, while they were doing that, at the northern
poles and southern poles of the planet were these gates they would use to ferry stuff
to the planet. And then when chaos invaded, they saw these two magical portals just hanging
around and were like, well, that's as good a door as any for us. And then they broke
in and the northern and southern poles of the planet slowly become more and more corrupted
by chaos.
Okay.
Just to talk about the northern and southern one, because they're pretty much the same
thing, just equal sides of the planet. You see the southern waste, it's Antarctica, it's
on an island. That chaos corruption doesn't really spread. But off the northern wastes,
every time chaos invades in the world, those wastes slowly get just a little bit bigger.
Which is unfair for everyone.
So where I'm seeing it says Grand Caffe, is that, because I'm seeing that's quite blank,
is that chaos controlled and it's kind of looming closer to that kingdom place? Is that
spreading from there?
It is not. That's because it's, the reason it's like that is because most maps of the
Warhammer fantasy world, aside from a map of total Warhammer, are older. And until within
the past pretty much year and a half, Cathay had no lore. This whole area, the whole eastern
section of the map, paragraphs. That was it. So in this case, I can talk about Cathay now
that they've actually given it lore, but it's not blank because it's corrupted, it's blank
because the games lordship decided we don't want to write for this part of the planet.
Okay. Just add more onto the empire, because that's what we like.
Pretty much. The western half of the planet, filled with lore. Eastern half, could not
care less. But that's pretty much the chaos waste. There's demons there, there's chaos
corruption, although you did bring a penguins and I feel like I should mention a little
small meme in fantasy.
Go on then. Go on.
Is that Archeon is afraid of penguins.
Oh.
Because the southern wastes, there's beastmen, there's beastmen pretty much everywhere on
the planet. That's something I should also just point out. But in the southern wastes,
there's a lot of beastmen. And usually beastmen in fantasy are chaos corrupted people, or
merged with animals. Chaos turns people into animal people, essentially. It's a faction
of furries.
So Dum Dum here, who is Archeon?
Right. Pardon me, I'm pulling back. So you know Abaddon.
Oh yeah, we all love Abby.
It's War.
Abaddon.
Warhammer fantasy Abaddon.
He has a title that I think is a little bit cooler in my opinion, The Ever Chosen of Chaos.
That's some right proper evil stuff.
Avaid by the gods quite literally.
Indeed. He had to go through all sorts of trials to get the treasures of chaos. And
then he tries to blow up the world and it succeeds because fantasy wasn't making money.
Really sad. But he is afraid of penguins. There's a line in the lore where he says that
the beasts of the southern chaos wastes are the true beastmen because they've never had
proper human integrations into them. Like there's no human that got corrupted and became
a beastman. So the meme goes, he thinks they're the truest of chaos. Surely he's afraid of
penguins because it's Antarctica down there. There's nothing down there.
I'm just imagining Pingu with like the eight pointed star on his forehead just going noot
noot and just raging across the wastes. Archaon's like I fear no man but that thing, it scares
me.
He wants nothing to do with that place.
Well that terrifying Sea Otter episode of Pingu where he's just there and he's got the
big, is it Sea Otter? He's got like a walrus or something and he just comes out of the,
it's terrifying. I'll put like a reference in the thing and people in the comments go
yes that was the most terrifying episode of Pingu. But yeah, aside from that. So that's
the northern and southern wastes. It's like very cold, chaos can't craft boats because
they're stupid and they hate penguins.
Okay.
Well you say that. Going immediately down.
Okay.
To Norska. Now you said that earlier it was like Norway pretty much.
Yeah.
It's uh.
Norse. Very on the nose games workshop.
Nice work.
Do they even call them the Norse? Like it's not.
Oh of course they do.
They're not subtle about it at all. But these are, so it's not as chaos corrupted in Norska.
It's close but it's the difference between being on the doorstep of hell and living in
it. So, but beyond even that the southern portions are reasonably free of chaos taint.
But you still live in the Arctic Circle so they can't grow anything.
Right.
And the demons are constantly knocking on their doorstep as well as other chaos corrupted
monsters like the beastmen again. So they pretty much have no choice but to turn to
raiding. And every now and then they just sail on down to the Empire or Albion. Or sometimes
they get real brave and go to Ulthuan. Though that doesn't work out for them pretty much
ever for reasons I'll get into.
Big donut in the sea. I can see that.
Yeah. That's the only land mass that doesn't have an equivalent on earth.
Yeah, I was thinking, I don't remember that.
We do not have a donut in the Atlantic. It'd be cool if we did but we do not.
Mmm donuts. Yeah. But so, so yeah, I'm already assuming that like the Empire, I mean it's
where Germany is more or less so that explains all the Germanic stuff. And then Araby, like
Arabic, very good. I'm starting to get reference here.
Yeah, and you can build an idea of what it's going to be like in there based on the names
alone a lot of the time. Or location. At least with the human settlements. When you get to
places like Lustria, it's a bit harder to guess beyond saying that's South America.
But there's not much people presence there. But to really jump back to Norsega, that's
pretty much where the majority of chaos worshippers are, at least as far as the ones we see in
lore. In the eastern steps to really quickly pan over, there's actually a lot of Mongol
chaos invaders. Okay.
At least based on Mongolian culture, but we, again, we don't get as much lore on them
versus the Norsega. We don't in 40k either with the white scars.
They're my favorite legions. Do we get any lore?
No. Okay. But we know they exist. That's pretty much
what it is. There is a little bit more lore on them than relative to their setting than
the white scars. White scars probably have more lore overall. But relative to their impact,
I think the Kurgans, I believe it is, have a little bit more impact. A little bit more
lore, but it's still not much. That whole area of the world is pretty much chaos Mongols
are there. There's also goblin Mongols. Okay.
Moving on. Thanks, Games Workshop. But yeah, life's hard in Norsega. It's cold and chaos
corruption in some places. You can't grow food most of the year. Pretty much the only
option they have is to invade the empire. There have sometimes, there was actually one
person or one family I know in lore that went to Norsega to help the Norsegaans because
they had the most hippie idea ever. It was if we show them that we care and can grow
food and crops and take care of them, they can turn away from the dark gods. Andy, how
well do you think it goes when people try and turn away from chaos?
I mean, I have seen every season of Vikings, so I'm pretty sure it involves like making
a sword, putting it in a furnace, making it super hot and saying, hold this in your hands
and go for a quick walk around the courtyard and I'll believe you if you don't get burned.
Like, okay, pretty harsh. Pretty harsh. But still.
That didn't happen, but they did. The lovely imperial couple that tried to help anyone
did get diverted to the people that helped the end times. Three of the people, pardon
me. So trying to un-chaos Norsega, not generally a good idea. Moving down a bit, we'll go to
Albion because I can probably finish the lore there in about 30 seconds.
It's England! Hello!
It is England, except populated by...
Bretonians?
Thankfully, no. There's no Bretonians there.
Oh, because that one makes sense. I was like, that's pretty on the nose name for a faction.
I was assuming they'd be from Albion because it's Bretonian?
The name comes from there, but they're not super Brit. They're like Arthurian legend
French mix in Bretonia and I hate them, but before I get into them and get angry, let's
cross Albion off the list.
Breton is the idea of druidic practices in the pre-Roman Britain, essentially. They're
actually some of the only people left on the planet that know anything about what the old
ones wanted to do with fighting chaos. They keep track of these magical lines across the
planet that meet in Albion, among other places, and basically do what they can to keep chaos
from letting the world fall apart, or just rampant magic blowing the world up. Because
magic is just everywhere in the Warhammer world. They're called the Winds of Magic and they
just flow across the planet. So Albion, the druids there are some of the people that help
keep that in check.
And Gottrick and Felix also went there and killed a giant that was about 200 feet tall.
Oh, of course they did. Why not?
And then Gottrick grappled off of the falling giant using his optic nerve to reach the ground
safely.
So you're saying he just did a God of War and he was just like, I've played the PS4
remake as a yeah, or re-thing, you know.
Pretty much. Anything they fight is going to be past tense.
Who would win in a fight? Kratos or Gottrick?
Oh, that's a... I'd have to think on that one. I'm not entirely sure. It'd be one hell
of a battle.
In the comments who you think would win. Lots of axes.
There'd be a lot of axes and then anything within a 50 foot radius of wherever they're
at is just dead.
Polverized, yeah.
But that's pretty much the majority of Albion lore you need to know. It's another one of
those places that Games Workshop is like, it's cool background setting, but you don't
get like an army or anything out of it.
Oh, it's a shame.
Moving down, it might be a bit hard to see in the map. So go to the Empire and then go
up but don't hit Norske.
Do you see that little Kislev?
Yeah, Kislev. Oh yeah. For reference to the audience, I'm looking at a map and I've zoomed
in but it's very blurry when it gets to small text. I just saw Kiev, Chicken Kiev? Maybe?
Yeah, Kislev.
Okay.
Despite not having... They used to actually have an army in very old Warhammer fantasy.
And I mean old. But then for a while they pretty much had no presence at the tabletop.
But they've already actually had a decent amount of lore. They're the buffer zone between
the Empire and Chaos. It's basically just take a Polish, Russian, Ukrainian, cultural
Slavic soup and throw it at a Kislev and that's what you get. They've got the winged Hussars,
Winter's their greatest ally, they love bears. It's just a mishmash of that area of Europe.
Lots of Scandinavian stuff and like, yeah, we're just gonna have lots of Adidas... Is
it Adidas? Squatting, drinking vodka, Adidas tracksuits, bears.
There's no tracksuits but they do have bear nevoli and they do drink vodka.
Hold on, bear cavalry? That sounds excellent. Why isn't that in the tabletop anymore? That
sounds brilliant.
Probably because the world doesn't exist. But they are bringing it back with the old
like the pre-modern fantasy setting and in case they will have bear cavalry.
Okay cool. If that was a crime, if they were just gonna be like, we're not gonna make any
more bear models, bear models that you can ride and throw, I guess, javelins at people,
that'd be cool.
Yeah, they're finally rectifying this grievous issue. As for what it's like there, it's...
The weather is like Russia in the winter, except it's always winter. Winter just gets
worse when it's proper winter. Although living there for thousands of years, the Kislovites
have gotten pretty good at dealing with it.
They've learned how to make scarves and stuff.
Yeah, they've learned all that. Go inside, drink your vodka to keep warm. Please do not
drink alcohol kids if you are in danger of frostbite.
Yeah, don't do it.
I should throw that in there.
It constricts the blood vessels. Don't do it. It won't make you warmer.
Not a good idea. But as for what's in there, ice. But the queen of Kislov is always an
ice mage. So whenever an army invades, she just kind of waves her hands and then it freezes
to death, which is pretty much how the empire hasn't fallen. Because every time chaos invades
under the helm of an ever chosen, because Arkhan's not the first ever chosen, he's the
last. Every time they do so, the never chosen goes, yep, time to take another crack at the
world. They have to go through Kislov. And on the one hand, they always get through Kislov.
But on the other hand, whatever makes it through is never as big as the first army. So the
only reason the empire doesn't get butchered is because you can thank Kislov for that.
Because Kislov is the buffer zone to be like, right, after all the poor guys in their like
frozen houses, right, we'll do our best. And then they're like, we're decimating the empires,
right, no problem. It's much more than now. To be fair, they do a bang up job at it. Like,
the, the, the, the casualty. Are they on friendly terms in that regard? Are they like, thanks
Kislov? Or are they like, are you primitives? They are allies. Sometimes the empire sends
them equipment. The Kislovites, they think the empire is a bit soft, given that they're
the ones sitting on the border. They've got central heating. Yeah. It doesn't snow sometimes
in the year, so they're clearly weaklings. Yeah. But they are, they're friendly with
the empire. There's a little bit less lore on their relationship with other factions,
but they, they seem friendly enough with the dwarfs whenever dwarfs make an appearance
in Kislov. Gottrick and Felix once again have several books in Kislov because there's a
lot of stuff to kill when chaos is rampaging around. And overall, that's pretty much Kislov.
It's Polish, Russian, that area of the world, Slavic cultural soup. It's cold. And every
now and then chaos likes to invade and either get pushed back if it's just a few raiders
or get severely weakened if it's a proper army. Okay. Moving down, finally, to the empire
of man. Ooh. The protagonist faction, much like the Imperium is, although GW did reign
in the author favoritism a bit for the empire. Oh. It's not quite the same level of the ultra
marines plot armor. Which has been waning. It has been waning. And don't get me wrong,
they're my favorite chapter. So, but as for the empire itself, it's Germany. They speak
Reichspiel. The capital province is Reikland. Altdorf is the capital city. It's on the Reik
river. Yep. The guys, the main guy in charge is called Karl Franz. Yeah. Germany. There's
a William Futterbach is a character. It's the Germanist place that ever Germaned, essentially.
And this is a small town called Oktoberfesten. Yeah. Probably. And this came about because
many thousands of years ago, a man called Sigmar was born. And this is a story that
might be a little bit familiar to people who are only knowledgeable on 40k. The empire
was just a bunch of tribes and Sigmar himself came from the tribe of the Unbarrogans. And
he had a vision of uniting this empire. And he did. He got almost all of the human tribes
that were available, like that existed in this area to come together and form the empire
of man. He ruled it for 50 years. And then on the 50th... 50, that's it. 50. Well, you'll
see on the 50th year of his reign, he took his hammer, Galmaraz, that a dwarf king had
given to him for saving his life against orcs. And then just left. He just walked off. Thanks.
Selfish. To be fair, he did ascend to godhood. So he was still around. He abandoned so many
people that like, you're the god of abandonment. He watched over the empire. It was a bit rough
because he each trapped him in a magical vortex, which again, I'll get to. But he did his best.
He ruled very well. It was a time of prosperity. And then after he left, he became a god. People
started worshiping me as a god when one crazy man said he was a god, except he could kind
of prove it because he had miracles to back it up. And ever since then, the empire has
been progressing technologically, culturally, to get to the point where unlike pretty much
almost aviar other fantasy setting, it's actually in the Renaissance era. It's not vaguely medieval-ish.
The empire is pretty firmly in the Renaissance. And there's hints in the lore that before
it was end times, it was reaching the Industrial Revolution. There's all sorts of like, tax
riots, like the window tax riots. Andy, I know I brought that up for the-
Well, they have gunpowder. So I was thinking they're a bit further ahead than a lot of
the other factions if they've got gunpowder. They do. They're probably the second most
technologically advanced. So that's the empire.
Can I make a guess? Is the most technologically advanced the dwarves by any chance?
Would be the dwarves. They're almost neighbors. One last thing about the empire really quick.
They uh... have you ever played Rome Total War, Andy?
Briefly. Okay. They're kind of like the Romans in that
game and that they're not the best at anything, but they're damn good at everything. Like
the empire- The ultramarines.
Indeed. Like the empire, they're not nearly as good as magic as the elves, but they're
certainly better than pretty much everyone else because they have access to all winds
of magic, all eight of them, and can freely create more. They have colleges of magic.
They're definitely not as good as tech at the dwarves, but they're not as slow to adapt
as the dwarves are. They can invent new things much quicker.
They're better at taxation. Yes. The empire is also quite good at taxing
you. But because that was the perfect segue you
gave me, Andy, how about we talk about their friends the dwarves?
Okay, cool. I like dwarves. You see the mountain chain next to the empire?
Yeah. It's the grayer bits on the map.
That's where dwarves live. That kind of spinal column that's going down.
Yeah. The whole thing.
That's the world's edge mountain range. In there is dwarves. That's where their kingdom
was in ancient times. What's left of it is still there, as well as goblins and skaven.
But for now- So that's where skaven come from.
They don't come from there. They're just everywhere.
They're just... Well, I was going to say, I would have just thought they'd be under
the floorboards of every kingdom. That might not be far off.
Pretty much. There's one place on the planet, Skaven Art, and I know I've said this three
times, I'm going to get to it. I keep having to say that about Ulthuan, the elves. But
for now, for the dwarves, they're like the Roman Empire equivalent, funny enough, for
the Warhammer fantasy world, because they had a massive empire stretching pretty much every
mountain range in the world, or at least the Old World. So this whole mountain range, the
big spine, the ones going into the empire in Bretonnia, the Dwarven Kingdom, it was all
connected by this massive, ungrown highway called the Underway. And even back then, they
weren't quite as technologic advanced as they were now. They were still probably equal to
the empire thousands and thousands of years ago. Okay? They are good with their stuff.
The problem was, they had a war with the elves, the High Elves, because the Dark Elves did
some trickery and caused a nice little false flag operation, and things spiraled out of
control because the dwarves are very stubborn. They love grudges more than anything else.
And the High Elves-
Glad they even have a book about them.
They do. A great book. And the High Elf Phoenix King at the time was, even the High Elves
think he's an incompetent moron. Their arrogance ends at him because they look back on that
era of history and go, God, what an idiot. So between that massive war weakened both
of them and led to the fall of their massive empires, as for the dwarves specifically,
it gets worse for them. Because remember the old ones? They had servants called slan, which
every now and then they show up in 40k, but they're a lot more prevalent in fantasy. They're
the strongest magic users in the world, and their second and first generations could just
move the planet like the technodid plagues around.
Oh, why not?
And one of them, of the second generation named Mazda Mundi, decided these mountains
need to be a bit further to the left. And so he moved the mountains a bit further to
the left. Except the problem with that is, that's where the dwarves had all their buildings.
So, overnight pretty much, they went from weakened but still hanging on to all of our
empires exploding and we don't know why.
The skaven also had a hand in that.
Of course they did.
They built something big and it went wrong, because everything they do goes wrong, but
it's the skavens that's funny.
I like how vague that was. They built something and it broke.
Pretty much. I believe it was they were trying to expand their own little underground realm.
Okay.
To be fair, it expanded the underground. It just probably blew up and killed every skaven
nearby.
The tunnel collapsed, yeah.
Which again, for the skaven is a non-issue. There are always more rats.
As for the dwarves though, they got invaded by rats. They got invaded by goblins and orcs.
Pretty much all of their major holdings on the planet gone. They have their capital.
They have a few select wealthy holds, including one that's right between the Badlands and
Tylaea, if you can see where that is on the map.
Yeah, I can see that.
Which has, I believe, the largest navy in the Warhammer world, but they don't use it
because the dwarves hate the ocean.
They just have it.
I'm not getting my shoes wet, some dwarf commander.
Yeah, pretty much that. We'll go into that really quickly and a little brief for you
to dwarf culture. Like you said earlier, they have that great book of grudges. They love
complaining about things and writing down people that wronged them. To the point where
there was an empire business transaction that the dwarves were shorted two coins. Probably
not even intentionally. Probably just fell out of the wagon or whatever. It's like, oh,
two coins, who cares? The dwarves killed everyone involved.
Oh my. And I'm assuming that's why no one came to their aid with the orcs and the goblins
and everything. They would say, oh, the orcs are under attack. I'll go there, I don't care.
The elves certainly weren't going to help because the elves and dwarves just got done
having World War I. Mankind probably wasn't at the best state at the time to help them
out because this was before the empire was even a thing. But yeah, even if it was a thing
with that kind of thing going on, they probably would have been that charitably inclined.
That being said, they are still best friends with the empire humans, the empire specifically,
because like I said, Sigmar saved that dwarf king to get his hammer. The dwarf king pledged
that dwarves and the men of Sigmar would be friends forever. Doesn't stop there from being
at war. This is still a war hammer setting. But it's like, you know, there's half the
war against men and dwarves as there is against dwarves and everyone else.
Everyone else. Just like the fun drunk uncle that comes to the wedding. You're like, oh,
he's fine when he's not drunk. He's like, ah, I'm going to fight you. He's fine when
you get to know him. But like he's been through a lot. Someone went in his house and they
ruined his living room and he's angry about it still. Exactly. Pretty much. And he's got
an infestation problem under the floorboard. So he's very grumpy. Yeah. But they did, to
be fair, they did give mankind gunpowder technology, teach him how to work steel and all that good
stuff. They even have a little rivalry over who invented the rifled barrel. Some humans
claim it was the empire in Hawkland. The dwarves claim it's the dwarves who did it. Not even
just a specific region. Just the dwarves. It was us. It was us TM. Dwarves FC did it.
Yeah, pretty much. But aside from those things, they're pretty standard fantasy dwarves. They
like their booze. It's called Bugman's Ale. It's the finest ale in all of the fantasy
world. And if you go to, I think, the Games Workshop headquarters in Nottingham, they
have a cafe where you can buy Bugman's, which I desperately want to do. Oh, I'll go over.
I'll do a field trip. I'll get some. I'll bottle it and I'll send it to you through
the post. I've got you some, and they'll just be soaked through the parcel. I'm like, I
tried. I'd be forever indebted. Or if it comes, ruins you forever in the grudge book.
Yeah, I'm going to be in the grudge book, I bet. The last two things to take note where
the dwarves is, aside from the grudges, is they're very, very conservative. And I don't
mean that in right-wing politics. I mean that in, like, if something hasn't been in the
blueprint stage for 500 years before a prototype is built, it's considered radical and unsafe
technology. To be honest, that's quite typical of a dwarf species in any fantasy setting.
They keep to themselves. They stick by the rules and they're not very big fans of change.
They will, over time it will happen. But even their language doesn't drift. It's to the
point where if you speak ancient, Kasselid, their language is called, you have a decent
shot of understanding what it is 5,000 years later.
I like that. Dwarves are great in any setting. They're always great.
I'm never unhappy when it's a dwarf involved. They're just great.
Yeah, elves can be a bit hit and miss, but dwarves are like, you know where you are with
a dwarf.
Yeah, exactly where you are.
Even my wife, man, I know they can be a, sometimes they're not great. But dwarves, you know what
you're in for, always a good time. The last thing is, just cause it's cool, the slayer
cult. A dwarf who does something real bad has to shave his head, except for a Mohawk,
die at red, and then find death in battle to redeem himself.
Oh, that reminds me of a classic called in Dragon Age, the dwarves who wear black armor
and they're like, there's like, they go underground in the deep roads and the equivalent of like
demons flock and they're like the first wall of defense and they have to join this Legion
and they all wear black armor and they're like, oh, you, you're a criminal. You can
die or you can go and fight the, the, the dark spawn in the deep tunnels. And I, I feel
like they're called the Legion of the Damned, but if that's the case, then there's a copyright
infringement problem there.
Someone copied someone's homework.
Yeah, I'm going to have to check that now, but still.
But yeah, it's, it's that kind of thing. And because again, they're dwarves and they're
so obsessed with grudges and just their mentality is, it's been noted even like in Godric and
Felix books that Felix like they're almost alien. They're not just short people. Their
mindset is vastly different from humans.
Although they're called Legion of the Dead. It's almost, it's not quite though. Not quite.
But like something wrong for the dwarves can be like, you accidentally caused an entire
dwarf city to be destroyed. You are taking that slayer oath right now.
I've always going to be something really minor. Like that Star Trek episode was like, oh,
he trampled someone's flower grove F penalty. Like what? That's quite harsh.
That's the other end of the spectrum. Like let's say you're gambling. The doors do like
gambling and they, it's not just if you lose, you automatically take the oath, but let's
say like you lose a month's worth of earning that dwarf may decide that's worthy of taking
the oath. He has to die in battle now.
Right. Like a trip to Las Vegas would either end with
a dwarf obscenely wealthy or leaving with a death wish.
And what one last thing of the worst for a move on. Cause I just laugh at this. There
was a dwarf again, Godric and Felix. I'm going to reference them a lot by the way.
Okay. That's fine. I don't mind.
They're, they're, they're the book version of this. Like if you want to get into Warhammer
fantasy, read those books. But aside from that, there was a dwarf, like Godric and another
dwarf and old friend of him were arguing about something and it was an intense argument.
And Felix was the only human around. And he looked at a bunch of the other doors. It was
like, is this not the stupidest thing you've ever heard? Like someone backed me up on this.
And then one of the dwarfs goes, I haven't talked to my brother in 50 years because he
didn't pay for a tab. He said he would cover.
It's like that grudge, grudge, beer, beard, slayer oath, technology grudge. There's the
dwarfs.
Yeah. Fueled by grudges. Great species.
Now to move a bit south. You know what? No, I'm getting them out of the way. I'm going
to be angry to move west.
We got to do it. I know where you're going as well. Yeah. Here we go.
Yeah. I'm not a fan of them as I'm sure some of you watching are aware of. They give them
their credit. I can't even give them credit.
I can't even say the word.
When Sigmar was uniting the tribes, the Bretonnians were the one tribe who said, no man who has
united all the rest of, pretty much all the rest of mankind we know of and has defeated
chaos and orcs and all sorts of other things. We're too good to join your fun club. We're
going to stick over here and sleep with our horses.
Ooh.
As for beyond that, and so that's why they're their own independent nation. They're also
a faction of LARPers. There's another great thing for you because one, their government
is futile. They're like more proper fantasy. They're like feudal medieval, knights, knights,
chivalry, all that stuff. Their government keeps it that way. It doesn't allow technological
advancement because they need to keep the peasants locked down and poor and dirty. And
so they're like, nope, it's medieval stasis. You were, we are not letting you advance up
the tech tree.
Oh no.
The other way they're LARPers, you know, they LARP as medieval knights. The other way they
are is they're high elf LARPers, which don't get me wrong. I appreciate, you know, taking
some inspiration.
Speaking as an elf, enjoy yourself.
Indeed. I can look past that a bit. And you know, the knights they have are based off
of high elf silver helm cavalry units, they're called.
Budget ones then, I guess.
They saw way back when elves and castes were fighting, they saw these elves charge the
battle on their horses and their armor and they were like, that's cool as hell.
That's cool.
And to be fair, that is cool. Maybe you need to take the copying, it's so far that you
base your entire economy pretty much around horses. Yeah. They love horses to the point
where once you can walk, you're then taught to ride a horse. Even their peasants have
horses. It's like-
They're kind of French.
They're very French. Like the founder, like their version of Sigmar is named Giles Le
Breton, like Le Breton, I believe.
Oh, very French then. Okay.
Quite. He's the only Bretonian I think is cool because he comes back as, it's just a
green knight. When I said they were Arthurian legends too, he's just straight up called
the green knight. He's a green ghost knight that shows up and murders people and then
goes somewhere else to do the same.
Then he goes for a nap and then he comes back.
Yeah. He's the only cool Bretonian and that's partially helped because he's dead and the
only good Bretonian is a good Bretonian.
Just the conviction you said that at, that was amazing. Oh, I'm going to clip that somewhere.
My rage is strong and unending towards this. Aside from that, the last way they're LARPers
is their god, the lady of the lake, it's just the Elven god Lilith.
Yeah.
Yeah. I remember your video about Bretonia and I was like, oh, so she was just like,
she's this very good at just covering her ears. She's like a cloth.
Pretty much manipulating them to her own ends. The wood elves are also manipulating them
to their own ends. Sometimes Bretonians-
Would it be fair to say that they're an army of simps?
Pretty much, yeah. For the lady of the lake bathwater. And that's not even a joke.
Maybe if I fight enough for her, she'll go out with me.
Yeah. Because the highest Bretonian nobles are called grail knights and they get that
by drinking from the grail that the prophet of the lady of the lake gives them. I don't
remember her name because I don't like remembering Bretonian lore, so I think I've just ejected
her from my system. She has an official title. Not important. It's Bretonian. It's never
important.
Doesn't matter.
Yeah. And then they basically become super superheroes, super powered knights.
You drink the bathwater of the lady of the lake to get stronger.
It doesn't stop them from having their head torn off by an imperial cannonball though.
So way to go. You can lift twice as much as anyone. I have a gun.
Triple horse bro. Cannon go boom.
Yeah.
The empire basically.
Yep. And relations between the empire and Bretonia, they waver between a one point.
The Bretonias trying to conquer the empire. Sometimes they're friends because they're
the only humans in the area that are relevant. There are other humans, but that's more of
games workshop going. These places don't get an army. So that's Bretonia. I'd like to move
on.
Please do.
I'm not going to move too far from the world because if you see where kind of where the
A in Bretonia is, it ends. That's Athol Loren, which is where the wood elves lived. So when
the high-
Very small.
Indeed. But it's bigger on the inside, shall we say.
It's the TARDIS of Warhammer fantasy.
Not far off in some ways because it's always been a magical force. And before chaos invaded
the world, it had roots across the entire planet. And in some places it does still branch
up, which means you could be sailing in the ocean. You take a rest stop on an island and
then there's angry elves shooting arrows at you while the trees come to life and butcher
you. So they're around, but they're mostly in Athol Loren, the wood elves. And when chaos
invaded Athol Loren stuck out of it for a bit, but the high elf queen at the time went
there, took her kids to keep them safe from chaos. And her kids go back to Ulthuan where
the rest of the high elves are, but that's their first little interaction with the elves.
After this is all done, one said, the elves colonize pretty much most of the world. The
dwarves may have had the mountains, but like the empire, Bretonia, the old world all across
Araby, the badlands, even some of the places like that lost isle of Tor Alithis, that's
an elven colony. They went everywhere.
So you're saying it's like a parallel with Warhammer 40k where at first the elves owned
pretty much everything. Then they dwindled, then humanity kind of took up from what was
left behind?
Not too far off. That is kind of like, that is a bit of a parallel. Although the elves,
what did them in wasn't this big, they didn't-
Wasn't a lust demon.
They did not literally screw themselves over, although Slash does still like elf souls in
this universe. It was the elves and dwarves, because of that idiot phoenix king, they got
in a big punch up.
The biggest punch up.
The elven colonists were recalled to Ulthuan after the war was over, but they didn't go
home instead because what they did was they went to Athel Loren to keep themselves from
the dwarves and the chaos demons and the orcs and all of the problems this world has.
And they made a deal. The forest said, you can live in here, because the forest is alive,
it's a magical fantasy forest, of course it's alive. You can live in here, and in exchange,
when it's the winter months, and just in general, but especially the winter months when the
forest goes dormant, you gotta keep us safe.
Need to feed the squirrels because they're gonna go hungry.
Pretty much.
Go and find some almonds.
The wood elves and Athel Loren for the thousands and thousands of years they've existed. They
have not changed pretty much in the slightest. They make the dwarves look friendly and outgoing
with their isolationism. They do not want to leave their forest unless they absolutely
have to. And to be fair, they rarely have to, because again, magical forest, they're
elves, they live long as hell anyway. Why leave?
As for Athel Loren itself, every year a wood elf goes into the Oak of Ages, which is the
big tree at the center of it.
And he goes in and he becomes the demigod of the hunt, Orion, which is an incarnation
of the elven god, Kournos. And then he leaves and then he declares it's time for the wild
hunt. And what that means is sometimes they hunt, pretty self-explanatory, they go out
and hunt beastmen, or what they like to do is they go out and just ransack a couple Bretonnian
towns.
As a witcher, free crossover joke there somewhere.
Probably.
Sometimes they go out and they try to hound a lady called Ciri. She's got special powers
or something. And I believe they are elves in the wild hunt, so yeah, another parallel.
But the wood elves are definitely a lot more fey than elven. The high elves, they're high
elves just taking the extreme, same with the dark elves. The wood elves are just insane,
old mythic fey tales where one will come out, take your children, and then burn your house
down because it's funny to them.
Oh, nice, charming.
They're insane. And the forest doesn't help this because the forest has the dryads, the
ants. They're called tree guard with their ants. And unlike Lord of the Rings where they're
slow to anger but slower to forgive, they're just always angry.
Angry trees. Angry trees gonna get you.
And just to really hammer it home, let's say you're a random peasant. You walk into Athel
Loren. They might treat you to the most glorious feast you've ever had. And then you leave
and 500 years have passed. And also all of those years catch up to you the moment you
leave the forest boundaries. So you rapidly age and die.
Other times, also this took like five minutes inside of it, by the way.
Other times it's the reverse. You're in there for like 80 years. You leave an old man. You
walk outside. Your mom's like, little Timmy, it's time for dinner. And she's like, what?
Because little Timmy is now old Timothy.
He's Timothy of Lothloren. And he has a big mighty beard.
Indeed. And it's just magical shenanigans in that forest. Usually they're malicious
for anyone going in there with ill intent or not in ill intent. The forest doesn't like
intruders in this place.
So that's Athel Loren and the Wood Elves. Crazy tree people, crazy tree huggers. Don't
piss them off.
Lots of almond milk.
Despite the fact that they're hippies, they're good at magic, good at archery and have no
problem eating you.
And they don't pay taxes.
Indeed. There are no taxes in Athel Loren. There's just killing random people and giving
their blood to the earth.
Nasty.
Indeed.
To move on, Estalia. It's Spain.
Estalia. Couldn't have guessed.
It's another one of those places, like its background lore. At one point, Erebi conquered
it. Bretonnia waged a crusade to take it back, beat up Erebi. That's pretty much it. There's
not much there.
Spaniards in fantasy. Cool. Done.
To go to the right and down a bit, Talaya. It's Renaissance in a way.
Hey, Talaya.
It's pretty much the same thing.
They did have this.
They had a drink in Felix when they ordered a pizza. Hooray.
Pretty much. They have met in Tilia, Talaya. I don't know how you say it.
Tilea.
It's...
It's Spanish.
Not too much there. There's a little bit more lore, but that's pretty much what it is.
There's also, in even smaller text, you can't see the border kingdoms right next to Tilea.
To the right.
That's basically games workshop one. You want to make your own little homebrew faction of
humans? Build them there.
Right.
It's like there's just thousands of princedoms of varying size. It exists...
Thousands.
Like the intent of it.
It looks a bit too small to have thousands of them there, but...
Well, some of them, they're like the Holy Roman Empire, where a fiefdom is like a castle
and they'll land around it. That's technically an independent state.
We are a state.
Okay.
Some of them are a state.
One other thing to take note of, I should have mentioned this earlier, is that the Warhammer
fantasy world is about twice as big as Earth.
Oh.
So, the Empire, super Germany in terms of size.
Germany.
It's very big. So, that's why there could be thousands. It's the homebrew...
There is...
Norske. You can't grow anything. Imagine if you could grow even less. Thanks.
You have twice the land to grow nothing in.
You have twice the barren land. Enjoy. It's going to take twice as long to get to anywhere
with some actual resources.
Yep.
Thanks.
But that does mean twice as many Imperial citizens to murder.
Hmm.
And give to corn.
I guess so.
There is... was a mercenary faction called the Dogs of War that were basically like every
race had their own little mercenaries. Even orcs, there were orc mercenaries you could
wield together in this mishmash army, which is a really cool idea. But that's an old army.
I don't think they're quite as old as Kislev was, but not far behind. So, they haven't
gotten much love.
I'm just imagining them being led by an eyepatched leader and this lieutenant going, why are
we here? Just to suffer. You can't feel my leg.
Like diamond dogs. Dogs of war. Oh, fun. That'll be a solid reference. Anyway, don't mind me.
Oh, not at all. That's... yeah, so I know a bit brief, but it's pretty much what it is
to like, Tylea, Renaissance era Italian city-states, Estalia, Spain, border princes have at it,
homebrew lore writers. As for going between Estalia and Tylea though, there's a very,
very important settlement there. It used to be called Kavzar. It was a human and dwarf
settlement allied. They lived together in harmony, which is probably the only time that
ever happened in the Warhammer world. Okay. And then they wanted to build their own Tower
of Babel. They wanted to build a tower as high as they could. This, to be fair, wasn't
to reach the gods. It was to honor the gods. They still built it too tall. They hit the
Minecraft build height. They couldn't build it any taller. Oh dear. One day, a stranger
approached them and said, hey, I can finish your tower. Just let me put an offering to
my gods on top of it. And they said, well, why not? Now this is a, the, the tale, there's
a couple of ways this could have gone down. The stranger might've just been evil. The
dwarves and the humans might've shorted him payment in some other way. Either way, once
the tower is completed, the grand opening ceremony is done. The bell rings 13 times
and things start going bad. It starts raining warpstone, which is, imagine if chaos was
a rock. Oh, it's raining boulders everyone. Oh, not again. It's pretty much raining radioactive
hell rock like uranium. If uranium also had demon energy inside of it. Ray. And if you
don't haven't guessed where this is going, you probably will be able to guess. Rats started
swarming the streets and getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Oh no. That's where Skaven
come from. Yep. At one point, this got to the point where the humans banged on the door
portion of the city. Cause did the dwarfs still live underground? They're still dwarfs.
Like let us in, but please for the love of God. And the dwarf said, no, go away. Quit
being babies. Dwarf said, you didn't pay me for when I, I, I let you borrow my milk for
a cup of tea and you didn't give it back. And you say, oh no, here we go. And that person's
grudge was never forgotten. Nope. They came back the second night though. Like, can we
come in now? And the dwarfs are like, yeah, we don't, uh, the answer's still no. Also,
we don't have anything to feed you with. Rats ate all of our food. And then they tried again
the third night. They didn't ask this time. They just bashed the door down and then they
opened the door and then there were, there were a lot of very big, uh, there were a lot of dwarf skeletons
and a lot of very big man sized rats. Oh, so it was like Moria plus rats. Indeed. And
then the city gained a new name, Skaven Blythe. Oh no. The capital of the Skaven empire. It's
right in the, like, this is the thing. All these useless places are really far away from
where chaos is. Like if they were higher up, okay, that'd be fine. They'll take care of
the rat problem. They'll take care of the French people. They'll take care of these
annoying people. Like no, right in the middle. Nope. Now it should be between the borders
of people actually fighting chaos. Typical. And it's kind of hard to tell, but there's
also a mountain rage right above Skaven Blythe, geographically speaking. So they can't just
march down and attack it. And even ignoring that, it's all surrounded by the worst swamp
ever. So you try and invade, you're drowning in the swamp to say nothing of the rats that
would very much prefer you didn't do that. As for the Skaven themselves, because aside
from this, they're everywhere pretty much. There's many words to describe them. Cowardly,
ominous, numerous. The best word is asshole. Because aside from being evil, they won't
do anything if it doesn't make them just the biggest prick on the planet. Like they hate
everyone. This includes other Skaven. They just hate other people slightly more than
Skaven. I can't emphasize that slightly enough because the favorite thing for a Skaven to
do is just stab someone in the back and take his place. Meanwhile, everyone below him is
doing that to him. It's a conga line of betrayal. That being said, the reason they haven't wiped
themselves out is because again, they breed like rats, funnily enough. There will never
be more Skaven. There will always be more Skaven, pardon me. They outnumber everyone
in the old world by a factor of ten. They're under pretty much every city. They were building
a nuke under the capital of the empire at one point.
Yes, question. They're really annoying. They hold grudges. They built a nuke. Sorry, what?
I'm not kidding. They have nuclear weapons.
Oh, okay. Why not?
As for what... Powered by that warpstone, by the way, just because it wasn't evil enough.
It had to be powered by hell rock.
Right.
They believe it is worth more than gold. In fact, they don't think gold is worth anything,
but they still mine it. Can you guess why?
Why?
The entire reason. I'm just going to read it word for word from the Warhammer Total
War flavor text for the gold mine. It's, although the Skaven themselves have no use for gold,
they mine it purely to inconvenience the other races.
I thought you were going to say they're going to lay traps. No, we just want to take it
away so you can't have it. We'll put it in a big vault where we don't do anything to
it.
It's just that.
What assholes?
They just take it, just so no one else can have it.
Like, oh, I need... I'm going to take your dialysis machines. I don't need it. We've
got loads of them. Enough to be you.
They tunnel underground. They have, it's called the Under Empire. It's even deeper than the
dwarves or the goblins. If you dig deep, you're not going to find treasure. You're going to
find rats. And these rats don't like you because they have halo energy weapons.
Oh no.
They're called the Rattling Guns.
Oh, I've heard about them. Yeah. Which is a great pun. I like that.
It's beautiful. The only reason they don't take over the world, because they have the
numbers and the technology, is because the backstabbing thing for one, it's really, that's
the reason. They fight each other more often than anyone else. And even when they're on
the cusp of victory, they will betray each other.
So the guy...
They can't unify long enough to not kill each other.
Yeah. The only real time they've ever unified truly was when Nagash rose, the great Necromancer.
And that was only because Skaven corpses work just as well as other corpses for Necromancer
purposes. So they were like, we can't keep killing each other, because otherwise he's
going to show up and wave his hand and then we're going to have to deal with that. Aside
from that, they've never been truly unified.
I just like the idea of like a Rattling... Skaven being born, and he's like a brand new
baby and his rat mother is like, what a cute little Skaven. And he's just got a knife ready
and he's going to stab. Thanks, mom. And off he goes. What a little git. No loyalty at
all.
Nope. They will kill each other in the womb if they can.
Oh, dear me.
Also, I'm not going to talk about it. Feel free to look up how Skaven women are treated
and Skaven are born. I'm not getting into that.
Yeah.
Don't want to go down that rabbit hole.
It's about on the same level as the Daemonculaba.
Well, Skaven hole, I should say. Yeah. We'll keep that away.
To run through just a few quick ones real quick. You see where it says the Badlands?
Yep.
Orcs.
Orcs, orcs, orcs.
And they're pretty much 40k orcs. Spelled with a C, not a K. And they're slightly less
technologically advanced relative to the setting. Aside from that, Red still makes you go faster.
Gork and Mork still want the W. Anything in front of them is probably not going to be
around for much longer, especially the main special character.
The best orcs are the best.
The best orcs.
Yep.
I'm the best orc because I'm the biggest one. Yeah. Pretty standard orcs.
There's Grimgor Ironhide who... anything he's fighting dies. I've got no other way to put
it. He was killed by Archeon in the End Times because Archeon had to pull out all the stops
and also Games Workshop wanted the setting to end.
Right, we're gonna do it.
But he did kind of get even with that because in the Storm of Chaos before the End Times
event Grimgor headbutted Archeon in the balls and snuck up on him and pulled a victory out
that way.
Wow. Victory by bull headbutt.
Yeah. But that's the Badlands. There's a couple necromancers around there. There's a very,
very small amount of dwarf colonies, especially near the... or not really colonies, what's
left of the Empire and the mountains. Mostly it's just orcs and goblets.
The Darklands? Chaos dwarfs.
Oh, of course.
They have their own little empire. They don't do much. I imagine with Total War, they're
gonna be the first major DLC. That's gonna change. I think they're gonna be in the Old
World as well. And they have been around. They're called the Black Orcs, which were
supposed to be orc slaves. The problem with making a bigger, tougher orc is that you've
made a bigger, tougher orc that's also smarter. So those guys just rebelled in the left.
Okay.
Aside from that, they're dwarves but evil. They're really good at technology. They can
actually use magic because dwarves for the most part can't use magic.
Right.
They have to make artifacts. Pardon my insulin pump beeping there.
I mean...
Surprise guest appearance.
Featuring insulin pump. The only thing is, I'm just thinking, do the grudges that the
dwarves have fuel the chaos powers that they have?
They don't fuel the chaos powers. There's not as much of an emphasis on grudges, I don't
believe, with the chaos dwarves. They still have them. They're still dwarves. But they're
evil anyway. They were going to invade you regardless for slaves.
I like the idea that maybe they get less of a grudge when they become more evil. They're
like, I don't care. I'm actually more peaceable in an ironic way. Also, here's my axe. Donk.
It's in your forehead.
I'm still gonna cut your head off, but now it's for evil reasons, not just because you're
short.
Yeah, yeah. There's no emotion behind it. It's just, I need to do it.
Yeah, just listen, man. I need more slaves. You're in the way. Get out.
Yeah.
Right next to the Darklands, you have the Mountains of Morn and the Ogre Kingdoms. That's
where the ogres are.
Oh, of course. Why wouldn't they be in the Ogre Kingdom?
Yeah, that makes sense. They are everywhere on the planet, because ogres love to hire
themselves off as mercenaries. But that's where the biggest concentration of ogres
are. They're pretty simple to cover. The old ones created them much like other races. And
they almost had no flaws. They were resistant to chaos. They weren't like the dwarves who
were so set in their ways that they were pretty easy to wrong foot. They weren't kind of frail
like the elves were. And they weren't like mankind, who would often just put their ambition
and join chaos willingly.
Right.
The problem was, they had a hell of an appetite. And before the old ones could fix that, chaos
invaded and the old ones ran away. So we have, and the old ones couldn't fully finish setting
their environment up around them, because they would also do that for the races, give
them the perfect place to live. And they didn't do that for the ogres. So the ogres just walked
around eating everything.
They ate the giants.
This is Hungry Boys.
Yeah. They ate the giants, who were another thing the old ones created. The giants used
to be these super advanced, literate, like cultural renaissance place. Ogres ate them.
And then all of a sudden, nom nom nom. The giants were like, what's that? Ow, my foot,
my leg, ow, ow.
Pretty much.
And then they were it.
It's like, the giants were a lot bigger, but there were a lot more ogres.
But they were more hungry than their height.
Indeed. And they went to Cathay at one point. The Grand Emperor launched a meteor into the
ground that created the ogres god, the Great Ma. And then my word, it also cursed the ogres
to never be full. So now they're always hungry.
That's pretty much life as an ogre. They walk around. They like to fight. They mostly like
to eat more than anything.
They're they're pretty simple. I love them, though. They're very fun.
Ogres give them a buffet and they still won't be satisfied. That's quite sad. To quickly.
Let's finish off the eastern bit of the map real quick. Cathay, China. China. It is just
China. It is getting a lot more lore and it's read by it's led by a dragon emperor who's
worshipped as a god by his people. OK. OK. He says don't call him a god. He's not a god.
Does that remind you of anything, Andy?
A little bit.
And I guess they don't technically call him a god, but they they worship him like a god.
It's pretty clear what's going on here.
Do they have a big impact on the setting? Or are they more just dead? They're just there.
They were background for the longest time. They have they've had one of those things
where it's like. If you think about it, it is a very great setting or like impact, but
because it's not developed at all, you can't get a feel for that. They have their own great
wall of China called the Great Bastion that keeps those on those chaos invaders out of
the cat thing. And they. And supposedly like millions of chaos invaders go there instead
of the old world to invade. It's just, again, right, if you think about it, that's huge,
but it's almost never developed on.
So for all we know that they could be doing the lion's share of killing demons and chaos
and don't know about it. As far as we know, they're doing they're putting in so much legwork,
but until recently they've had very little lore.
They're like the wise guys like they're doing they're doing a lot of stuff, but they're
not getting any appreciation for it.
Yeah, they've they're Asian. They've got all sorts of things, you know, very cool things.
They have the dragon emperor's sons and daughters rule Cathay instead while he's working on
his own master plan. There's another emperor of mankind parallel. He. There's a lot of
people as Cathay, its largest human civilization in the setting. Just again, it's until recently
gotten almost no lore. And it's it's fantasy China. The dragons are their eastern dragons
with the long tails, no real wings. Very cool, very cool stuff. And as it's getting expanded
more upon, it's more stuff. And it's really cool lore. It's just for the basics of it.
It's fantasy China. Billions and millions, if not over a billion people there, they've
got a big wall. They're very technology, but they kind of keep to themselves. Yeah, it
kind of again, it's like that parallel of like history of the world was like China.
We China was so far away and they had literature and they had all these things before anyone
else. They were so advanced and it was like and then Europe and stuff had no idea they
existed. They were like, oh, they're just over there. It's fine. So while we were still
like we're like warring with like axes and face paints and China's they're like, we've
developed poetry and civilization like, oh, pretty much. They did trade with the tomb
kings and Hecarah before they were all skeletons. But aside from also the tomb kings might have
given them vampirism in return. I'm guessing the tomb kings are our Necron. They're the
closest to the Necrons. And the big Necron rework that gave them all personalities pretty
much turned them into space tomb kings, which is a change I think is great. But to really
finish off the area, Cathay, like I said, fantasy China, kingdom of Ind, it's India
and there's all the lore I have for you. They have, it's called the thousand thousand living
gods of Ind. So their gods are walking around doing. Ganesh is one of them. Probably. They,
there's a bit of a question over whether or not it's actually beastmen being those gods,
but they seem benevolent for the most part. So even if they are chaos corrupted beastmen,
they seem to be good folk. Okay. They trade. That's about it. The hinterlands of Koresh.
So anyway, Nippon. I'm going to be totally honest. I could not for the life of me tell
you what's in Koresh. It's not developed. There's nothing there. There's presumably
a little, for learning about Warhammer fantasy world, these three places are so unimportant,
which is a shame, but they really are. Koresh is like, it gets the gold medal of who cares,
which there's a lot of room for cool stuff they could do given that they always based
off bigger than the empire. Yeah. And given that they always based off of like historical
cultures for these areas, do a lot of cool stuff there. They haven't. No, of course not.
As for Nippon, it's, they taught the Skaven how to be ninjas. Clan Ashina the Skaven.
Why would they do that? They're not really helpful. I don't have an answer for you. I'm
guessing the Skaven were a bit sneakier there, a little bit, for some reason, more polite.
They taught the Skaven how to be ninjas. Nippon, why'd you do that? Aside from that, there's
really not too much. They have a big Navy. Sometimes they fight the dark elves Navy.
That's again, kind of it. That's why I can brush through this real quick. There's not
too much here. Okay. Let's switch way back over to the left. Middle, I should say. Africa,
Arabian, Arabia. There's a bit more lore than other places. Not too much. They have a sultanate.
The sultan was called the evil sorcerer Jafar. I'm not making that up. It's just the Latin.
Wow. Disney are calling. They want their Aladdin plagiarism. The mouse is coming for you, GW.
Aside from that, he was the one who launched that crusade into Astalia and the before Bertonia
beat them back up. Gatling and Felix helped stage Deku there once, which it says something
about them that that wasn't even close to the most impressive thing they've ever done.
That was just a weekend revolution. Yeah. We woke up there drunk and they were like,
what are we going to do? I don't know. Stage a rebellion. So we go into that place, get
some breakfast for free while the cows go and we can bugger off. Yeah. Cool. Good idea.
Got your, didn't have a monster to kill in the next five minutes. So we figured, no,
why the minute it'll be fun to do. Yeah. As for the land of the dead is what it's called
on the map. Right. Hecarra would be the proper term. This is a, the old ones, this is where
at least I believe is where they originally put humans. They might've put them in both,
you know, the empire region, Bertonia and here, but in the heck, I became a civilization.
Well, the empire was still just tribes. Sigma was in around yet and they were ancient Egypt.
Again, at the end of the day, quickly sum it up. They were ancient Egypt, at least the
popular popular conception of ancient Egypt, obsessed with death, stuff like that. And
then, you know, they had different varying dynasties warring with each other, sometimes
united, sometimes not. And then, uh, a man came, no, you know, et cetera, the imperishable
came around him and his many titles, united the region. He formed the greatest empire
of man ever seen on the planet before Karl France had to get that one in there. And he
tried to conquer as much of the world as possible, but he couldn't because aging was the only
opponent he could never defeat. He extended his lifespan by hundreds of years, but that's
still not immortal. So he died. He gave his, uh, priest instructions, find a way to bring
him back to life with his glorious, wonderful body. And then he, that was set was a tail
for now. Then the gash came about who someone's called the great necromancer. You can probably
guess what he's about. Oh yeah. Yeah. He bankrupted setra's old capital of Khemri, uh, waged a
war against all of the tomb kings at once. He did lose, but he pretty much ruined the
entire country. Uh, he found Skaven, he fought Skaven, Skaven decided they didn't want to
deal with him anymore. So they made a truce. He came back to Nehekara, found out that someone
had stolen his notes and created vampires from it. Don't you hate it when that happens?
Because that's just how powerful this guy was. The vampires are an accidental result
of someone finding what he has written. He's been looking in my journal again. Pretty much
that. Uh, he figured, well, you're all under my control now. And he invaded Nehekara again,
cast a spell that killed everyone in it. But, uh, this one guy, he needed that one guy
to be the focal point so he couldn't kill him quite yet. The Skaven gave that one guy
a magical sword, stabbed Nagash with it. That one guy died. Nagash can't really die. He
just goes away for a while. He goes to take a nap in the break room. And then all the
tomb kings that died rose up as skeletons. Or if they just died, they still had flesh.
But when you don't have a nervous system or anything, but magically animated bones, all
of the fleshy bits kind of fall off until you are just a skeleton in the end. So, uh,
all the tomb kings at once woke up. Imagine if every single king of England and queen
woke up at once and started fighting for the throne. Uh, except, except the king and queen
of England actually matters in this scenario. They're not just there to be decoration. My
apologies to the queen of England. I'm sure this insult cuts deep from this random person.
Yeah. Uh, so, Setcher woke back up. The first thing he did was exile his head, like, priest,
because he didn't find him a golden body to inhabit yet. The next thing he did was-
A golden one? Who's that specific? Where's my golden?
He wanted a glorious golden body.
What was this made of? Pewter? Get lost. Get a proper one.
He didn't have that yet. He just had his mummy body, which to be fair is more than any of
the skeletons had, but still kind of gross. And then he knocked everyone's head together
and said, you can either serve me. I don't care if you fight each other, but when I come
calling, you better damn well answer, or I'm going to cut your head off and use it as ammunition
in a catapult. And because two kings regenerate, you're the rest of your existence is catapult
ammo. Oh, uh, so people listen to him and that's pretty much in the Hekara. It's filled
with undead Egyptians walking around the, the warriors and lower down on the cast have
pretty much no autonomy. They mindlessly do what they did in life. And then like the Necrons,
the tomb Kings themselves have crazy whack rivalries and personalities. And one of the
tomb Queens really wanted to bang Felix. Okay. And Godtrick even said, if she wasn't thousands
of years dead, you would be marrying her. You do not have a say in the matter.
How did Felix think about all this? Was he interested? He was, he was all over the place
in that book. He was terrified and then he was terrified for a different reason. And
I'm sure that at some point he was covering his, he was crossing his legs just a bit.
I feel like, I don't really know much about Felix, but I feel like him being terrified
is like the default setting of what he gets up to. It is suffering being Felix Yeager.
You do not want to be Felix Yeager. He reminds me of Dan the lion from the Witcher,
that's basically him. Not, yeah, Dan the lion, except Felix, he's,
he's a bit better in a fight. Felix is actually really good. He's a really strong warrior
and people look up to him and he has no idea why it's just, he's next to the living blender
that is Godtrick. Anyone's going to look kind of weak next to that. Yeah. Yeah. But Felix
did slay a dragon at one point. So, oh nice. I think Godtrick was like, huh, I've slain
11. Oh, of course you have. Probably. That was probably like the moment the book ended.
He's like, nice job, man. Like you caught him. He first slayed a dragon when I was four
years old. You caught him to me from 50 years ago. Yeah, exactly. Choked it with my rattle.
To finish off the old world before we get to the Americas and the donut. The Southlands
is Southern Africa. There's not too much there. There's a lot of lizard men. So I guess I
can just cover Luster while I'm at it. There's a lot of the lizard men. There's a lost dwarf
colony or hold called Kerik Zorn that was lost contact with. It's probably destroyed
in fantasy, like original lore, because the last thing they heard of, they were fighting
lizard men and it didn't seem like they were doing too well. Right. And then thousands
of years, no one's heard of them. In total Warhammer, this one dwarf called Thor, Arjen
Brau just finds them and leads this faction from there. What? He takes control of the
lizard men? No, of the lost dwarf hold called Kerik. Oh, OK. Right. Right. I was about to
say that'd be interesting. He just finds him. He's like, well, I guess I've been charged
now and everyone just kind of goes along with it because he's the first. Any objections?
Yeah. Punch in the face. Any more objections? No. That's what I thought. He's the first
dwarf they've seen that wasn't their brother or sister in five thousand years that they
took where they could get. They're like, hmm, new blood. And speaking of lizard men, let's
go to South America, Lustria. I can kind of both these continents can be covered one at
a time because it's not like the world where there's so much stuff on it. Kind of blank.
That's where the lizard men are. The lizard men are led by the Slahn and they were created
by the old ones to prepare the world for what the old ones wanted it to be. They had different
jobs. There's the little lizards called the skinks. They're they're like the tradesmen.
Like if you need someone to build something or make some coins or carve simply carved
ruins and text into something, the skinks do it. There's a step up for them as the crocs
of course, which are crocodiles, alligator lizard men. They're not the brightest, although
if they live long enough because they are all technically biologically immortal. Oh,
they are useful. They get a bit more intelligent. And even if they're not intelligent, it's
a big, dumb, angry crocodile. They're used for manual labor and then smashing whatever
anger the slants head in. There's the saurus who are imagine just a humanoid dinosaur the
size of a space marine wielding a club with built in scale armor. I was gonna say if you
were gonna say wielding a bolter, I'd have been very, very upset. They don't know a club.
They don't have bolters, but they do have T-Rexes. Oh, OK. Yeah. So the saurus of the
military and again, saurus lives long enough. He can rise up to become a commander. And
then there's the slan for the main lizard men. That's the end of the caste system. They're
at the top. The rest of the lizard men were created by the old ones to do like just menial
things like the saurus were supposed to genocide all of the races the old ones didn't want
hanging around, which they did except for the orcs because you can't keep a good orc
down. Oh, 11. The slan were the people who are the best wizards in the planet, like the
high elves with a few exceptions have nothing on the slan. And with every generation, like
first to second, they get a bit weaker. But the first could magically move the planet
closer and farther from the sun at will. Wow. And then the second can only do things like
make mountain ranges just spontaneously appear. Well, only you say only. Yeah. I mean, I'm
I mean, that's that's like, yeah, it's a step down. That's that's still that's the scale
we're working on with these guys. And no new slaughter being made, though. So the lizard
men leaders are always dying out. There's no living first generation slan left, although
there is one whose spirits kind of hang around his corpse. But he's he likes to make sons
appear over people's head. And that that goes about as well as you'd expect for him. Yeah.
And there's one second generation left and less and less of the further down generations
as you go. They since the old ones were kind of they're guiding everything. They go through
the plaques of the old ones because they live in a jungle. Paper rots away pretty quick
when it's that humid. Gold does not tarnish. So they look at the old ones, golden plaques
to figure out the great plan of the old ones to figure out what are we supposed to be doing
because you guys are gone and we have no idea what's going on. That's the main reason they
fight other races. If they fight chaos, it's usually because like a slum looked into sat
around meditating for 100 years. They do that, by the way, to make sure they get the answer
right. And then they wake them and go, this chaos invasion here needs to not be around
anymore. And then they wrangle up their T-Rex's and Stegolodons and whatever else you can
think of. The Stegolodons also have orbital sun lasers powered by magic on top of them.
I felt I should just bring that up really quick. Wow. That's really cool. It's awesome.
Why? Why have they not conquered all of the all of the world? And they've got that. It's
all these crazy things. It's mostly just because they rarely act if they aren't 110 percent
certain. This is what the old ones wanted. The last second generation slum, his name
is Mazda Moondi. He's a bit more proactive, but he still spends a lot of time sleeping.
And aside from that, for the most part, they're willing to stay in lustria. Okay. When chaos
invaded, the high elves were the ones who solved the problem. But the lizard men did
the bulk of the fighting. Like if you went to lustria during the chaos invasion, it was
billions of lizard men fighting billions of demons. It was the coolest thing you would
have ever seen. And the high elves were there just going, yes, yes, well done. Well done.
Let us know how you do. I don't want to be over there. Yeah, we'll see how you go. I
can't blame them, to be honest with you. I wouldn't want to step foot in the thunder
dome. Tag us in if you need us. And then, yeah, there's some lost, lost lizard men cities.
They have compared to the elves and dwarfs, they haven't lost quite as much, but they're
still definitely on the losing front. But to go up a bit to the good old US of A, we
have Naggaroth. That's where the dark elves live. And to describe them, evil, evil, evil.
The only thing worse than them are demons and the Skaven, and I guess the Gash, but
this is a pretty, it's a pretty rough, like close knit race for the top over here. They
got a big chunk of the map. They formed, I think I'll just talk about all the one at
once to wrap up really quick. This will be the last point. The high elves were created,
uplifted by the old ones. Their gods had always been around because apparently the warhammer
elven gods are cyclical and they just, they just flee from one destroyed setting to the
next. So their gods were always around, but the old ones uplifted the rest of the elves
themselves, taught them to be good at magic, tried to teach them to fight against chaos.
And when the elves weren't the perfect fit for the job, turns out they figured, well,
I guess we'll, you know, we'll still keep you around. We're not going to kill you. You
can have your donut. The donut is called oath one by the way, and it's not actually like
a continent. It's like a boat, a land boat, like underneath it, there's, it doesn't reach
to the ocean floor. It just floats on magic. Right. So it's essentially similar to the
big, you know, on, on, in real world, there's that big Island made of trash. That's not
like it's like a landmass size, but it's not really, it's just a bunch of like floating
trash that's coalesced into a big Island. That's that's all fun, but that's pretty.
That's all fun. But yeah, it's prettier and you can stand on it without suffocating garbage.
Yeah. Yeah. Brilliant. Uh, and life was good for the elves. They were, it's pretty much
Atlantis crossed with the garden of Eden. Okay. And then chaos invaded. And while I
did say the bulk of the lizard men were fighting the bulk of the demons, there's still a lot
of demons to left to go around. So they invaded oath one and then the high elves, cause they'd
been living in paradise for a while. They had armies, but they didn't need them. They
started fighting the demons and losing. And then one mad lad named an Aryan grabbed the
sword of Kane. Uh, I should add for, which is just Kane sword, probably self-explanatory
in that one. They all have got of war. Yep. Uh, we know him from 40 K indeed. He's a bit
like it's clapped by ultra marines. He's a bit more bad ass in fantasy. Yeah. Okay. He's
an actual war God, not GW needs someone to be powerful to have him killed. Yeah. Be powerful,
but like not that powerful. Like, okay. And he's trying his best for Kane. Uh, so he grabbed
Kane sword. And I should add for reference that every single deity on the planet was
telling an Aryan, don't grab that sword. Don't grab that sword. It's so obviously cursed.
Don't do that sword. Don't do it. Including the chaos gods. I should add. They were like,
they weren't even doing it to save their own skin. They're like, dude, I know you hate
us. It's not worth it. They're like, we know you, we know you don't like it. We're saying,
please know please pretty please. That's from us. You're going to ruin everything you have
going. That's coming from us. Yeah. Unfortunately for him, he was passed the point of no return
because as far as he was concerned, chaos just killed his wife and kids. Just say, I'm
going to pick up the sword. La mal. He's like, yep, nope, I'm done. Uh, and then he killed
four greater demons at once. Ooh. Uh, so no one can say he's not a fighter. He got on
his dragon, flew back, uh, to the top of Ulthuan because he just, he just, I know I just summed
it up. He's killed four greater demons. He just, he just walked around killing demons
for a good few years. Uh, as after those four greater demons, him and his dragon were mortally
wounded. So he flew back to the top of Ulthuan, plunged the sword in the ground, left his
armor there. And then him and his dragon just kind of left. Although he, he shows up in
age of Sigmar as a ghost. So he's a, you could probably guess what happened to him. As for
the high elves, they realized that, oh wow, the world's got a lot of problems. We should
probably do some more than just sit on our island. So they colonized the world. Then
the idiot Phoenix King pissed off the dwarves and they both killed each other for a while.
But before that, I did say that the dark elves had a hand in that matter. The dark elves
come from an Arian's secondary descendants because his kids, like I said, his first kid
still lived. He didn't know that though, which is why he went berserk. Okay. Uh, before he
died, he married a woman named Marathi, evil dark elf sorcerer lady, and had a kid named
Malekith. And when an Arian left, uh, they were trying to figure out who the Phoenix
King is going to be. And Malekith was like, I bet I, uh, I think I'm pretty good for the
job. I mean, my dad was the guy who just saved the world. Don't mean to brag too much. Yeah.
Uh, but they told them, look, we respected the hell out of you. You're a great guy. Unfortunately,
your skillset seems to start and end at being a murder hobo. We're going to like this guy
instead. He seems to have a cool head. His mom wasn't happy with this because she wanted
to rule by proxy through her kid. She was a great high elf Karen. Yeah. Uh, but Malekith
took it with good grace. He actually led some of the expeditions to the dwarfs to be friends
with them. Uh, and he was best Kings with one of the dwarf, uh, the dwarf high King,
best friends with one of the dwarf Kings. Right. Like actual friends. Like they loved
each other, which is crazy. Elf and dwarf, let alone warhammer, Elfen dwarf. And this
is the guy who was like, Oh, I'm, I'm, yeah, I like a big killing. And the door's like,
we like a killing. And they're like, yeah, yeah, brilliant. I want to do that. Uh, he
comes back to Ulthuan from his world travels, find out that a cult of Slaanesh has sprung
up and he goes to deal with it, actually deal with it. Not like, I'm just going to go join
it. Except Marathi is the head of the cult, his mom. Uh, she eventually convinces him
to join her side. They try and stage a rebellion and to kick it off Marathi and the rest of
the elves, just the soon to be dark elves start going nuts across Ulthuan rebelling
and the Phoenix King calls Malekith like, dude, I need you to help. And Malekith says,
no problem, man. All I need you to do. I want all of the nobles gathered in one spot by
the shrine of Assyrian so we can all come together and do this. And at this point he
hadn't revealed he was a little weasel yet. So the Phoenix King was like, yeah, yeah,
we can, we can come together and work on this. And then, uh, once he's there, Malekith tried
to force the Phoenix King to drink poison. Uh, he tried to be gentle about it. Like first
like, you know, maybe, maybe you should, uh, maybe you should drink this. And Val'shanar,
the Phoenix King was like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what it is. You're
being a bit sus. You're being a little bit weird here. Uh, and then he called the Phoenix
King a traitor, except his proof for that was, dude, trust me on this. So everyone assembled
just looked at him like, all right, well, I guess we know who the traitor is now. Uh,
so then he forced Val'shanar to drink poison and then walked into the fire of Assyrian,
which isn't as stupid as you might think because the way that works is the Phoenix King to
be walked into the fire and if they're worthy, they're not harmed. He does a Khaleesi. Uh,
yeah. Uh, Malekith was not very worthy and he became Kentucky Fried Elf. Oh dear. He
didn't die, but the fire stopped acting like just the cool light source and started acting
like fire again. Oh no. So High Elf Civil War happens and during this time, it's just
violence all in all sides, but the Dark Elves are losing the war and Malekith comes up with
one last plan to enact a, the undoing of a ritual because aside from an Arian stabbing
elves, the, another Elven, their strongest mage, the Elune, who could probably fight
a slan and not explode in two seconds, he made this giant vortex in the middle of Ulthuan,
which would drain magic out of reality because otherwise, cause in, uh, it's kind of like
40k, but especially in fantasy, if there's enough magic, demons can just be a thing.
They can just appear. And since the old ones gates exploded, there's a lot of magic going
around. So they had to drain that out and that's what they did. And Malekith goes, well,
if I can't be king, there won't be a kingdom anymore. And he goes to undo the vortex and
just let magic rain loose and demons can come back to Ulthuan and finish the job. Oh dear.
He actually does succeed in doing this, but to make sure the vortex wasn't going anywhere,
all the elves that had a hand in creating it locked themselves inside of it. So once
they were free, they were just like, no, no, you're going to get the hell out of here now.
Because this is in Warhammer, older is better. These were the oldest elf mages. They just
shot him a bunch with magic and told him to go to hell. And they brought the vortex back.
About half of Ulthuan sank into the ocean. What are you going to do? And the dark elves
ran to Naggaroth and that's pretty much where they've been. Malekith has sat there for about
10,000 years, trying and failing to retake Ulthuan. I think playing the longest game
of chess ever. Indeed. When he keeps losing, but he lives forever. So he can lose as many
times as he needs to. So half the time. He just needs to win once. That was when in between
now in the modern times is when he started the war between elves and dwarfs. He also,
some dark elves that he sent to go do that also taught Nagash magic. So there's Malekith
ruining things for everyone again. He can't help himself. Yeah. Everything like 80% of
the problems in the world can be traced back to him throwing a hissy fit. Aside from that,
what they do in modern times is the dark elves have city sized boats they go around the world
and raid with. Take slaves back to Naggaroth because doing work themselves is quite uncouth
when they have all of these slaves around to do it for them, you see. As for the high
elves, they also have the biggest, they have the biggest Navy in the world and they sail.
Their job in the setting is to basically go around and beat the hell out of chaos. The
Yeldar, as much as I love them, I have to admit they do not get much stuff done very
frequently. All those years eating grapes in Northwark. It's fine. We're living in pace
with times like, oh, demons. What now? Oh, I need to stretch first. They weren't quite
ready and they've gotten a bit complacent. Yeah. The high elves are on the other end
of that spectrum. The Essar, they're too busy saving the world to have a kid. It's like
there's a demon incursion in Bretonnia. For some reason we won't let them just destroy
the place. Let's go take care of it. The Empire's in trouble. Let's go save it. All right, maybe
I can take a break. No, the dark elves are invading. Time to go deal with this. Love,
I've got Dirty Dancing on DVD. Oh no, there's another incursion. Here we go. Sorry, love.
Maybe next time. Can't catch a break. Sorry. Then aside from that, they're elves. They're
very arrogant, although I would say they've earned it in this case. They've certainly
seen a lot of stuff stuck around. They taught mankind magic. They were the ones who upgraded
magic and mankind from some dude casting a few illusions to I can now make lightning
storms appear. So good on the elves. They can use much better magic because Warhammer
fantasy magic is very complicated and I will not go into it now to save time. That can
be later. And that's what the elves are doing. Anything that tries to invade them. Ulthuan's
also magic because they're elves. Of course it is. Anything that tries to invade usually
sinks. Sometimes boulders move into the path of the ship. Sometimes the land itself just
loops in on itself until they get lost and starve. And then if that doesn't work, sometimes
a sea monster just eats them because the sea monster is in the elves' hands.
Nice. Oh, they've got friends in the sea. That's nice. There was, funny enough, there's
only been two invasions of Ulthuan. One of them was, aside from Malekith just showing
up every now and then, one of them was a Norscan with, he's a cool character, but he had plot
armor and spades in this book. The other was a very fat goblin who brought a horde of other
knights and goblins. That sounds like a Roald Dahlberg. Very fat goblin. He went to invade
Ulthuan. He ended up there by accident and nearly ended the world because he started
screwing with elven magical systems and then the world kept destabilizing. They saved it
the last minute but that kingdom, Tor of Ress it's called, got even worse. Oh no. And with
that, that went a... I can see I definitely got into things because I started talking
a lot longer than I thought I would. But that is the basics of pretty much all of the major
things of Warhammer fantasy. Like I said, there's a couple different little places that have
some importance and there's of course a lot more. But if you're just wondering what are
all of these places, what is the empire, what is all of this stuff, why are elves important,
I hope I did a good job of covering that. Why is there a doughnut in this big part of
the world? Why is there a doughnut? That was very insightful. Yeah, there's a lot, obviously
there's a lot to get into. I do like how every few minutes there was just like, Godric and
Felix did something. It was like, okay, fair enough. So that's probably the easiest way
to get into it. It really is because their series, they go across pretty much all of
the Warhammer world. I think like they've been to Cathay, but that's mostly just like
a background mention of they talked about their time being there, I believe. I think
the only place they haven't been like confirmed at is I think maybe Naggaroth and they were
still stuck on a black arc, one of those big slave ships that dark elves have. So they've
seen plenty of dark elves. They also sank it because of course they did. Yeah, why not?
He figured out how to cut a boat in half with his axe. Oh, probably swing it hard enough
you'll get there eventually. Did any of this information stick? Did you learn anything
here today? Yeah, I learned a lot, but there's obviously a lot that I'll have to go over
again and just like, because that was a very dense amount of information. I noticed, I
tried to keep it a bit brief, but as I kept going-
So much. Yeah. I mean, to be honest, I like to consider myself now a lore master at Nippon,
Hinterlands and Grand Cafe. So I'm like, yeah, cool. I know everything about that faction.
But I think I still need to brush up on some of the other factions, some of the smaller
ones, you know, like the Empire and, you know. I won't say it. I was in the Badlands because
there was me. Badlands are fine. Learn more about the orcs. But if you stuck around for
all of this, thank you for watching and listening. Hope you also learned something about fantasy
and are there any final words you'd like to give to the fine people? All I would say is
if there's anything you've heard from our discussion that you want to hear more of,
whether it's the Empire, whether it's the wood elves, whether it's, you know, the good
old ogres, whatever it is, let us know in the comments and maybe we'll have a chat about
those things. Because again, we want to expand on my knowledge and I'm sure Colin, you've
got a lot of stuff you could talk about in any of these different factions. So yeah,
as long as it's not Bretonnia. Anyone who puts Bretonnia in the comments, the comment will
be flagged and it will be removed and we will send you an email with lots of naughty words
on it, mainly from Colin. I won't be taking care of that.
There will be a Bretonnia beginner to expert when I'm a dead corpse and you need to get
someone else on.
We'll just be like, we've got a guest act. Will we find anyone? Does anyone actually
like Bretonnia that you've met?
I think chapter master Valrek does.
Oh no. Okay.
I don't like that.
Oh dear. Well, maybe one day, but we'll see.
But aside from that, like I said, we've got, I'm not sure if it'll be out, but if it is
out, we'll have something on a very lovely fantasy faction who they're very fun to hate.
If it's not out by the time this video goes up, look forward to learning about pest control.
Indeed. Yeah. Thanks very much. Very much everyone for joining us and we'll talk to
you again another time about Warhammer fantasy.
Take care everyone.