I think it's the one where...
I was really about to say, but he fights a dragon ogre.
Shaggoth.
Is that correct?
I'm like, I don't know.
Do I know wrong?
Like, you fight Sigmar?
Well, the thing is, they were saying a dragon ogre,
and my brain went, how do you make a...
And then as soon as you said, you went, Shaggoth?
And I was like, how about you answer the question in my mind?
I've seen it before, man.
The dragon ogre's and the ogre's not at all related.
Hello and welcome to Lore Crimes, ladies and gentlemen.
Today, I, Colin, am the one helming the quiz,
and I'll be forcing fantasy lore down everyone's throat.
Now, how about we go through our contestants
and see how they feel about their lore knowledge on the Empire of Man.
Hal, you want to start us off?
I would say my knowledge is pain.
Rusty, like a spoon.
It's... I regret everything.
I'm not sure why I'm here.
God save me.
Tease.
Tease?
We're starting off confident.
Very.
Eli, you want to follow that up?
I feel of medium knowledge.
Medium?
Hal was earlier, like last week,
Hal was saying his fantasy knowledge is okay,
so I was a little bit nervous,
but now with that, with what he just said,
I'm a little bit less nervous.
It's going to be another dub for Eli.
I'm the defending champ.
I've got to keep the title.
And Andy, would you like to round us off?
Don't mind me.
I'm just going to be here as well.
I'm not going to get any answers.
I'm just going to be here making quips
because I literally know nothing about Warhammer fantasy.
I'm a purebred 40k boy.
So I'm just going to be here as well while I watch Eli win again
and Hal come close, that's my prediction.
He's not wrong.
I appreciate the confidence.
The contestants are ready,
one of them to win and the other two to be here.
The other two have to fight it out.
My quiz is the next one,
so I can't possibly win that one, right?
He has to take a break eventually.
He'll win it emotionally.
Well, for what it's worth, gentlemen,
the easy, I'm pretty confident that
everyone's going to get at least two.
So are the contestants ready?
Ready.
Hit us.
Well, in that case, why don't we start off with,
and you'll need to bear with me for the first,
you know what, actually, pardon me.
I think I'm going to save that one for last.
So for the first one, this one is still a simple one.
What race is the Empire of Man most friendly with?
Out of all the other races in Warhammer,
who are they best buds with?
OK, OK, this is...
We can breathe.
Am I asking an innocuous question?
By all means.
How many races are there in Warhammer Fantasy?
Would you like me to just start listing?
14 and a half.
14 and a half, OK.
Just as I have an idea, because if I lean on other, like,
Andes' sea-based tropes, I might be like,
oh, there's probably this many.
For what it's worth, this is a question that isn't necessarily
even Warhammer specific general fantasy knowledge.
No, let him suffer.
Please, I need this.
I have a strong suspicion, but we'll see what happens.
We'll see what's right.
All right, I have one, two.
I just need Andes' answer.
Yeah, don't worry, it's coming.
There you go.
Turn that off, Kilton, we want to meet that.
We've got three answers, and maybe it wasn't as easy as I thought.
Oh, pain.
Anyway, we'll be moving on.
I'm sweating.
Now, with this one, I do want to preface.
It is in the easy section.
This is from the knowledge of people familiar with Warhammer Fantasy,
so I do apologize.
What is the name of the principal god of the Empire of Man
before Sigmar's ascension?
So the answer is not Sigmar, the one other than Sigmar.
He's still very important, but before Sigmar, he was the main guy.
I'm feeling pretty good right now.
How are we punished on spelling?
Just wondering.
Not at all, if it looks vaguely like what the answer is.
So if I create the right smoke signals, will you interpret this in my favor?
When they get to me in six to five weeks, I'll make sure to interpret them correctly.
Okay, okay.
I'm feeling more confident as we're going on, but I can't wait for you to...
like a train, like a freight train out of nowhere, hit me with that fantasy lore and just ruin me.
It'll come later.
Oh gosh.
We are children.
You can probably tell I got my last chance to quit that one.
So you know what? I'll end off with the easy section with the easiest section, with the easiest question.
Now, you will once again need to bear with me, not because it's a hard question,
but because I need a long time to say all of these words, okay?
Okay.
Who is the current emperor of the Empire of Man, prince and emperor of Altdorf,
Elector-Count of Reikland, wielder of Galmaraz, rider of Bethkoh, greatest statesman of the Old World,
and the single best emperor Warhammer has ever seen?
There you go. I knew this one.
See? I told you at least one of them was going to be gotten.
I feel like you might have just chucked that one in just so we all have to say his name.
I don't know. It's either that or it's just like, well, Andy needs one point just to save base.
He has one for Andy and that's it.
I feel Eli's too confident. I can feel it already. He's a menacing chuckle.
My message is too long. It's 815 characters too long. I better fix that.
Yo, just to confirm, do you, like Eli, do you, the entire quiz, like, I feel like you're rubbing your hands together the entire time.
Can you confirm or deny these accusations?
Not yet, but it's coming. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm at 100% at least.
How are we feeling, gentlemen?
Okay.
Feeling good?
Okay, we've got a good.
I'm feeling really well, but none of that has to do with this quiz.
Oh, that's nice though.
It's just like, I know I'm going to do terrible, so I'm fine. I accept my fate.
There's something just pleasant about accepting the inevitable.
So let's go through them. What race is the Empire of Man most friendly with?
Hal and Eli, you were correct. It was in fact the dwarves.
And you put elves, I'm afraid that's not correct in this case.
I was just wondering as well.
I knew it was one of the two, so I thought I'd allude to what would have been my answer if not the elves.
I do appreciate the little the little knife ear simps.
Knife ear simps.
Well, the only reason I put elves is because I know, is it Bretonnia like run by like an elven lady?
She's kind of part of it.
Their technical god is just in fact an elven god in disguise.
Yeah, like the lady of the lake and she's like, I'm hiding my ears.
Like, oh, another reason they suck.
I can't believe Andy had the bravery to bring up Bretonnia with Colin.
The only reason I know what Bretonnia is is because of Colin's video.
Go check out, please go check out PancrasnowWorks video on Bretonnia.
It's art.
The proudest content I've ever created.
As for the next one, who was the principal god before Sigmar?
Once again, Eli and Hal. Ulrich, you had?
I got two different spellings on it, neither of which were correct, but I knew what you meant.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. I'll go and save you.
And then Andy came through with Jesus, AKA Big J.
J. Dog.
He might have been. I don't know.
That's basically what Sigmar was.
Yeah, he's got the same hair.
You know, basically.
Yes, but I'm afraid the infinite love of our Lord and Savior does not apply to Warhammer.
It's not transferred to different universes.
Isn't Sigmar like, you know, Korean Jesus from twenty one?
Yeah, yeah.
He has like, he has too many abs.
It's like, well, Jesus and Thor had a baby.
It's like, Sigmar.
Your Sigmar is so dreaded that Sigmar has an apeck.
Oh my God.
And for the last one, that very long question.
You all got it right, of course, Karl Franz, the best emperor, best boy.
And Eli spiced it up by spamming all caps, Karl Franz, until the Discord message limit was reached.
Could we get a succinct sentence just very briefly about why is he the best emperor?
For those who are not like super familiar with fantasy, Colin, why is Karl Franz the best?
He's a wonderful statesman, keeps the empire together and in fact is one of the few people in any Warhammer settings to go.
Maybe those other races have something worth worth taking note of.
But beyond that, if you just load up his voice lines, he literally speaks for himself.
Such a beautiful man.
OK, can I can I ask a slightly pinging off that you say he's a statesman, you say he's kind of keeping everything together.
So what defines him differently from Robutei Gilliman from 40K then?
Because he manages to do all this without being given divinely granted charisma.
He's just that good of a person that he is a statesman.
He does. He actually has a Warhammer.
He is the Warhammer fantasy.
Maybe he's born with it. Maybe he's Karl Franz.
He has won the Warhammer.
He is the Warhammer fantasy. It doesn't work. It doesn't sound as good.
He is the Warhammer fantasy battles.
He also doesn't have ultra depression, does he?
But with that, easy as done. The tally for the points is Andy has won in seventh place.
That's what I'm gonna get.
Hal and Eli are rocking the three out of three so far.
Yeah, I'm happy. I'm happy to share.
But that came across wrong. Sorry.
To be fair Hal, just to remind you, no one has won the quiz other than Eli yet.
You've got the most pressure out of anyone.
I'm not gonna do it. I'm sorry.
And Colin's running the quiz so it's up to you Hal. No pressure.
Alright.
Time for medium.
So, it might get a bit tricky here.
According to Emperor Magnus the Pious, there are three things that make the Empire of Man great.
What are those three things?
Oh, I think I know it.
Oh, see, now the hope is gone.
This is also just a metal as hell quote.
Three things that make the...can you say it again?
According to Emperor Magnus the Pious, before Karl Franz's time, there are three things that make the Empire great.
What are those three things?
I want to live in a situation where I get to yell these things.
Oh, I know.
Oh, God.
I feel like, you know when you describe, like, when someone asks what makes your country great?
And obviously I live in the UK so you don't really have an answer for that.
You'd say like the food at some point.
Obviously you couldn't say that in the UK as well.
God damn.
Oh my God.
Andy, please tell me you're struggling, brother. Like, I need to know.
The assumption of struggle requires I have to have the hope that I'm going to win.
I'm just having fun. I'm just playing.
I've just been left in like a big room with a bunch of crayons and been told, draw on the walls, it's fine.
So that's me right now.
He's got the unplugged controller.
Maybe we'll put it on the fridge.
Is there like a slight clue? Are these traits or are these tangible things?
Have you ever seen those videos that the guy does where it's like Total War factions
and he just makes a cool video of them killing stuff with the voice lines in the back and stuff?
Apparently not.
Sorry, never mind.
Because it's the name of one of those videos, I think.
Alright, so a little bit of a hint.
Two of them are things that in real life and Warhammer you can use as a weapon.
One of them is something that you can physically hold only in Warhammer with the way Warhammer works.
Oh my god, I got this right.
You can hold? Jesus.
I don't know if I say both gun then.
Unfortunately, there are no bolters in fantasy.
Yet.
That would really make the Empire's job easier.
Jesus.
Can I put more than three answers? Or is that cheating?
First spread your net really far.
You can, but I'm only going to look at the first three.
I'll give you a half a point if you... alright.
Nah, I'll play fair. I'm committing.
Alright, we've got all three answers, so let's move on.
There is a province of the Empire that, though it is officially absorbed into another province,
is realistically under the complete control of the Vampire Counts.
What is the name of this province?
Just think of vampires and...
That's it, yeah.
I can't spell it right, but I'm committing.
I think Colin's read my answer.
I have indeed.
Alright, that was a quick one.
And for the last one, which of the enemies... oh, enemies' empires? That's not right.
Which of the Empire's enemies do they not officially recognize as even existing?
In fact, even bringing up this race is technically... it's not illegal,
but that's because acknowledging them would be acknowledging them at all.
So if you bring up this race of enemies of the Empire, you're just going to get disappeared by a witch hunter.
We've got...
We've got Eli's answer that looks like he's writing his manifesto.
So, economics, brothers. Economics. What is it?
Before I read through these, how are we feeling?
Feeling very good.
I feel like I want to sabotage Eli.
I need help.
How are you going to do that?
That's a great question.
Mind games. You'll let me win, Eli, because... please?
Surely you can't fit all those crowns on one head. Stacking them is dangerous.
Especially all the way up there, where you are. Above us.
I just... oh, pain.
Let me down, Hal. You literally have a crown as your icon for your channel. You can't not win at least once.
I don't actually believe I am... I call myself a king, though. That would be so conceited.
Oh, man. Okay.
We'll go through the answers, see how you did.
For the first one, what three things make the Empire great, we have...
Hal, I'm going to give you half a point, because you put Arzeal, Faith and Sigmar, and the Spear.
Faith is one of them, and Spear isn't technically a full answer, but I think I'll throw you the half point, because it's the general theme.
Is that two then?
Wait, it's Faith one?
Faith is one of them, and then the correct answer is, Eli got it, Faith, Steel and Gunpowder make the Empire great.
What a raw line.
And then, uh, Andy hit us up.
I have no point of reference, so I just had fun.
Breasts, War Crimes and Hot Pockets.
The thing was, you said when you were giving hints, Arthrider sent you the message, like, you can hold them, and I went, ooh, and then you said, only in Warhand, and I'm like, ah, we have breasts here.
Damn.
What kind of war is that?
What are you holding?
Oh, that's the thing. It starts with breasts, which causes a war crime, and then is resolved with a Hot Pocket. It makes perfect sense.
I see. It's basically the Trojan War.
I think I'm having an annualism.
Is that how I get second place? If I give Hal an annualism, and he has to, like, he has to drop out of the quiz.
If you can kill him, you get second place.
I don't want to kill him, I just want to incapacitate him for one quiz.
So I get second place.
Alright.
For the next one, what province is not, is technically part of the Empire, but is under control of the vampire counts?
That province is Sylvania, which Hal and Eli came through on that one.
Yeah.
And we have From Andy Miami.
I really want to give that one a point, because that's really-
That's actually really funny.
I've been to Florida, you're right.
Well, that's the thing. Originally I was going to put Florida, and I was like, no, be more specific.
Can we actually nominate him getting a point for that? Because that's actually really-
This isn't how it works, is it?
For the next one, I was going to say, I'm willing to give Andy a half point, because for what race is not officially acknowledged,
he put the furries, and the correct answer is the skating, which the other two got.
No! That's a little bit different than that one.
How? It's more accurate to the answer.
To be fair, it's both unacknowledged, for good reason.
How about, we'll stick with a quarter point.
Half a point?
Half a point.
I'm drawing a line, it's no points or it's a half point. I'm not making assets for another quarter point.
Alright, that's fine. We will end the rankings with Eli at 6, Hal at 5.5, and Andy at 1.5, breaking up the rear.
Thank you very much.
Do I not get a minus? Because I put Skaven in brackets, Daddy Ratty.
I don't know if that put you off, I'm not going to lie.
I looked at it, and I was going to say something about it, and then my brain just went, no, we're not going to look at that.
We're not going to entertain that. It's like an SCP, it's redacted.
Daddy Ratty, oh god.
It is time for the hard section.
No!
I'm going to start with what I think is the easiest one, because it's technically part of his name.
But, you know, so, with that being said, what tribe of pre-imperial humans does Sigmar come from?
What is the name of that tribe?
Do they have tribal tattoos or something? Is he from the 1990s or something? What's going on?
I don't think he featured in Scarface.
Was it Jersey Shore?
Could you repeat the question, please, Colin?
Not that it'll do me any good.
What is the name of the tribe of pre-imperial humans that Sigmar is from? It's his last name, they take the name of the tribe for their last name.
Oh, so, like, if it was Norse, it'd be like, I am Scar Jorgensen. You'd be the son of Jorgensen, but it's like a clan honorific. Okay.
Yeah.
Okay. I'm not gonna lie, I think I've pulled this out of, I think the depths of my broken mind. I feel like I might have got this.
Are you saying how there's a chance?
Are you saying there's a chance?
I have a question, Colin. Can I donate my points to Hal?
I'm afraid that's not how this works.
Oh, okay.
But props for asking.
Oh, thank you.
I think I might have got this.
This is like, I feel like a shout out to the Kings and Generals channel. They did like a series on Sigmar, I think, and I might have, I feel like I've it's in the depths of my mind. I feel like I've brought it up.
Don't tell me obviously yet, but-
I'm not gonna spoil it yet.
Okay.
Alright, I'm ready.
I'm just staring at my-
Oh, you're not ready?
I'm just like, what can I put?
Pain.
I'll try something.
He's being, he's rubbing his hands. He knows.
No, I don't know the answer to this one.
It's-
What?
I'm like, I feel, I'm sure if I heard the name I would recognize it, but I don't know what-
Oh, yeah, yeah, funny answer. Funny answers.
Alright, for the next one, I'll be impressed if anyone gets this. What is the name of the Reichsmarschall of the Empire who is second in command of the army only to Karl Franz?
Oh my gosh.
The Reichsmarschall?
And whose mustache is the single most glorious to behold in all of Warhammer?
Both names or last name?
Uh, if you get the last name, I think I'll count it.
Oh, brother, this is- I think I know who this is.
I know who has an awesome mustache, so that's it though.
Do we get half point if we get his first name maybe? Oh.
I feel like it's on the- it's there. I have it. I remember. Is this the guy who- actually I shouldn't give anything away, but is this the guy who took down Warfreak the Wanderer?
I don't believe so.
Oh no, this is something that I'm wrong, dude.
Jeez.
Ugh. Um.
Pain.
Because is there any clues, possibly?
What was the clue?
I gave the answer of Daddy Ratty earlier. I feel like that might have earned me some points.
Someone can conceivably have his first name in real life.
Who's that? I don't know what you want from me.
Someone can have his first name.
By the way, I am googling something, but it's not related to the answers, so don't worry. It's just for humor purposes, so if you're hearing me tapping away, I'm not cheating, I'm trying to make it funnier.
Eli, please tell me you don't know this.
I just guessed. I'm not gonna lie.
Oh thank god. I think we might be tied at this point.
They are both decent guesses.
I think you're half point ahead of me.
Can we correct it?
Can I correct our answer?
Yeah, I'm still waiting for Andy's fun time answer.
Don't worry, I'm almost done. I'm just double checking I've got it right.
If you've got a last minute correction.
You seem like a rat.
That's wonderful.
I need a long little hotel bell if you know what I mean for that answer.
I'm glad you gave that to me.
But for the last one.
So, Gottrick and Felix, a dwarf and his remembrance are human companion. They've done many legendary deeds.
At one point in the capital city of the Empire of Altdorf, there was civil unrest over a decree passed down from the emperor.
And it caused them to begin their legendary partnership as Felix was nearly run down by the emperor's bodyguard.
And then the emperor's bodyguard made the mistake of trying to fight Gottrick. So they died.
What is the name of the civil unrest that caused them to become partners?
Eli has already full sent the answer.
Are you confident Eli?
I was and then he finished the question. I sent this in before he finished the question.
There was no hesitation in that one.
I am repeating it.
My head is all over the place with that. I don't know how to tackle this question quite.
So Gottrick and Felix came together because they were both involved in a riot over something that Karl Franz, a decree that passed down.
What was the name of this event, the civil disturbance?
You could actually make a. I feel like this is not a crazy answer.
This one, but it could be that you actually might get it.
Possibly that's not really helping anybody, is it?
If Colin, if someone is like doesn't read no Warhammer fantasy, why should they read Gottrick and Felix?
Because just go for it. Tell me why.
If you don't know Warhammer fantasy, these are perhaps the best books to learn about the setting.
They're just fun adventure novels to read.
I will, as much as it hurts me, will say they are somewhat.
You kind of know what's going to happen. Partial part of that is I think there's like 15 main books in the series.
So, you know, Gottrick's not going anywhere in book three.
Or you know, they're good. You know that at least some more in those last few books, they're going to stick around.
But they're just they're very well written stories. The characters are all fun and interesting to look at and see how they're thinking.
They're just good books. And if you're interested in Warhammer fantasy, they're probably the best place to start, in all honesty.
I feel like I might have inspired you too much.
You're a big fan, aren't you, of Gottrick and Felix?
Very much so. I will cut down my praise of it in order to read the answers now, though.
So take it from the top. The first question.
What was the tribe of pre-imperial humans at Sigmar's from? Hal, you nailed this one.
It was the Unbarogans.
Eli put sigma and then dash rights.
And then Andy put the Bartabees and a smiley face.
Oh, my God. I spell it right. I'm pretty sure that's how you spell it.
That's I feel like that's honestly that might be a miracle.
I'm impressed you pulled that out of the depths of your memory.
I don't know. I remembered it was I think it's the one where I was reading about something that he fights a dragon ogre Shagath.
Is that correct?
I'm doing the wrong thing. Well, the thing is, they were saying a dragon ogre and my brain went, how do you make up?
And then as soon as you said, you went Shagath and I was like, you answered the question in my mind.
The dragon ogres and the ogres not at all related.
OK, OK. I picked it out from what I read about that.
Yeah, from there for the next one, which was what I closed out the wrong window to have my apologies.
What is the name of the Reichsmarschall of the Emperor with his glorious mustache?
I'm afraid no one got this one right.
How you put Luther. Well, it was Luther Hess.
And now it's Luther Heisenberg.
Me was so sick.
Marley and Heisenberg. That's interesting.
Sigmar, we need to cook.
I'm just imagining like he sits on his like his elite decked out armored horse.
He's got a little like hotel bell and he just taps it vigorously.
That's how they get rid of beastly.
So if I'm not mistaken, that's kind of he's kind of a warrior priest.
He's a prophet of Sigmar.
He's pretty involved in the end times with Vulten.
Unfortunately, not correct.
Eli put Boris Todbringer, which is also not correct.
That is the Elector Count of Middenland.
Yeah, I thought maybe he had a special responsibility or something.
Indeed. But he is cool.
But he's not, unfortunately, correct answer.
And then Andy hit me up with Erich Friedrich Wildhelm Ludendorff,
which unfortunately is not a named character.
He very much should be.
He was a named character in the beer hall putch with the.
But anyway, I was like, he said he had a big mustache and he was a field marshal.
Mike as a history joke.
Unfortunately, those are not the funny Germans we're talking about.
No, I say unfortunately, fortunately, I need to backpedal on that.
Oh, God.
Unfortunately.
And for the last one, what is the events,
the civil servants that got Gottrick and Felix together for all of their adventures?
Hal and Eli, you both came through on this one, the window tax riots.
And Andy has the great tap dance massacre of 1272.
I wasn't sure about the timeline, so I just put a number.
Which not only is about 1300 years before the war,
but it takes place.
Details, details.
What was the what was the name of the the guy for the previous question?
I think we skipped right over that part of the Reichsmarschall Kurt Helborg.
Oh, I remember that name.
Kurt, he sounds like is that like the German equivalent like Chad?
No, that's Carl.
Really? It feels pretty like, you know, he rides on a skateboard
and doesn't come home at the right time.
He sings Nirvana because he was in Nirvana.
Maybe he does.
He rides on his mechanical skateboard from Nuln and he doesn't come home
because he's stabbing Bretonians.
We can dream.
See all the window tax.
Why did it have a window tax?
Is it explained in the.
It was just to get more money.
It was a tax on the amount of windows you had in a building.
And that's a real thing that was in the real world, wasn't it?
Yeah, it was.
That's how land is perceived as targeting the underclass.
And they rioted.
And then Felix was one of the actually the people in charge of the riot.
And then Carl Franz said in the Reichsgarde.
And then Felix nearly died about 15 books too early.
Carl Franz called the Reichsgarde.
Oh, gosh.
All right.
He's of Reikland is the province, right?
Yeah, there's just a lot of right.
And you put an answer before with Hess and I'm putting the.
A lot of right going on here.
I don't know.
It makes me uneasy.
This German.
With that, though, it is eight point.
No, pardon me.
Seven points for Eli.
Seven point five for how?
Yeah, you're behind with that half point from the faith, steel and gunpowder.
And he is winning the comedy game by far.
I have one point five.
I have 10 points in spirit.
Now, I appreciate.
I appreciate.
Yeah.
Coming in from behind.
I always appreciate my WWE entrance.
Entrance.
The Emperor King with the steel chair.
Behind as usual.
Lord.
Now, it is time for the bonus question.
Oh, no.
Name all 10 problems of the Empire.
Let it go.
I like the way you're like, no.
And you're in the lead.
It is.
Name all 10 provinces.
Oh, I think I could do it.
Now, there is one.
A slight bone.
There is 10.
There's technically.
11 correct answers, I'm not counting Sylvania, so you can cross that one off the list.
One of them is like a half province.
And it even is the one involved with the halflings, the hobbits, whatever you want to call them.
I'll count that as a correct one.
Also, I've said two of them throughout the quiz.
So if you dig back, you have two correct answers.
So is this for all the races then?
This isn't just all the provinces of like one.
This is all the provinces of the Empire.
There are 10 main ones.
There's like a little sub province that'll count as a correct answer.
I'll give everyone a few minutes.
You know what?
I have played Total Warhammer, so I think I might...
I have a chance.
Fucking hell.
That might be the victory decider.
Oh my god.
I'm trying to like, do I go like north to south?
Like in my head.
You know, you're too quiet about this.
Please don't win.
Like, it's unfair.
I'm thinking very hard right now.
Oh, it's like on the...
I wonder what Andy's thinking right now.
I am trying a theme.
Ah.
I'm trying to remember that, you know, like in Total Warhammer, they have the symbols of like their provinces.
I'm trying to go through all their symbols and like pick out like...
You know how it's like color coded on the map?
I'm trying to like cross it out like a little child in my head.
Also, gentlemen, I have a surprise thing to say because I screwed up the point counting.
I believe hell is at 8.5.
Oh, I'm going to double check that again.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven point five.
Pardon me.
Is there still a chance?
I'm blanking.
There's a lot of points for grabs here.
I might get one.
Wasn't there...
I've got a quick question.
Wasn't there...
I feel like in the depths of my mind, I'm remembering that there was a province destroyed.
Does that count?
You know what I mean?
There was technically two that happened for one was destroyed and one was subsumed.
So if you'd like to put in one of those two, I suppose I'll count it.
But you've got a ten answer maximum.
I think that's where one of the characters in Total Warhammer starts.
That's why I'm asking.
I feel like that was...
I remember...
I think I might explain the lore after because I want Eli to win.
I feel like I'm remembering a story about some orcs and one that was destroyed.
I don't know how to spell this one.
Like I said, if it's close enough, I'll probably be able to decipher.
And if you're struggling, just make it really German.
Oh, don't worry.
I'm making it very German.
Oh my...
What's the...
Oh, OK.
I'll just put the one I do know.
But what's the one with the capital's gnome?
Oh, and it's gnome oil.
How can I...
Oh, I almost made a massive mistake.
Oh my gosh.
That isn't the capital of Ravens' Hell.
What's the name, though?
No...
Yeah, I've almost finished my answers.
I think you'll like them.
I'm very excited.
I think...
I...
Mmm...
I'm almost there.
I feel like I'm...
I'm forgetting one.
Uh...
Pain...
Uh...
Oh no.
Yeah.
Uh...
Do you have all of them, Eli, by the way?
Just, I'm just wondering.
Uh, no.
There's one that I can't freaking remember the name of.
I think I've got one, but I think I've spelt that, like, offensively bad.
Well, they're not real, so you can't offend anyone.
They're not real?
Oh my god.
I think...
Has anyone ever been told in their own videos...
Has anyone ever been told in their own videos that you said the name of a character wrong,
and you realize you have for, like, the entire video?
It wasn't a character, but I said the word tithe wrong.
I pronounce it as tithe.
Like, the Imperial Guard's tithe.
Having a tithe over there.
I remember reading, uh, I had never listened to the audiobooks, and I had read the Nightlord's ones,
and it was goddamn Jago Sevataran, and I pronounced it like Yago, like the parrot from Aladdin.
That was atrocious.
He's just like, Conrad Kers, we gotta stop skinning people.
Shut up, Yago.
These are each worth half a point, by the way.
I probably should have clarified that earlier.
I might not get many points, but Colin has seen my answer, and he has given me the bread emoji, and I'm very pleased.
I think...
I can say you're getting a half point.
I think I only have...
I know one of them.
I mentioned it when I'm shoving Karl Franz down people's throats.
I feel like...
That sounds fun.
I played, um...
Take it.
I've played Total War Warhammer, but I've exclusively only played generally with the Empire,
so I feel like this might have been my saving grace.
This might be my saving grace.
Well, there's, uh, not to spoil, but there is something after this that could potentially be anyone's saving grace,
including you, Andy.
Oh.
I'm worth like a hundred points or something.
I was gonna say, I have no...
No, I'm not.
If it turns around on this last bit, and I win, I'm just gonna like...
It's over.
I'm leaving Lorekheim's...
Peace out.
...quizzes.
Wides off into the sunset.
Yeah.
Did you know all of these before you did the quiz?
Did you name all these from the...
Of course you do.
I don't want to answer that.
You know one.
Here's Mr. Fantasy.
Mr. Fantasy.
That sounds wrong.
Sounds like an 80s DJ.
I think I got eight.
I sent him my answer though.
Mr. Fantasy is like a pit bull.
Like Mr. Worldwide, but Colin's Mr. Fantasy.
Oh my god.
I'm missing the answer right now.
How about I just start with Hal and Eli, you both get five points.
Wow.
Five?
I'm sure you got them all right.
I'll go through, and if you want to double check what you've all sent, just to make sure.
Ooh.
But, uh, and Andy gets half a point, and makes me giggle very hard.
I got the bread emoji, that's all I wanted.
We have the provinces of the Empire, Rikeland, Averland, Stirland, Mininland, Nordland, Talibacland,
Weissenland, Hockland, Ostland, and then Ostermark is the odd one out.
And as for the little other provinces that I said counted, it is the Moot.
Yeah.
It is Sulland.
I'm sure I spelled that right.
It is Dracwald, I believe was the name of the province.
Is that a province?
A forest?
It's the name of the forest.
There was a province in that that I might embarrass myself, and that's not the name of it.
But it used to be its own province, and then everyone from there was just phenomenally corrupt and ruining the Empire,
so they just said, nope, this is part of Mininland now.
They got crunked.
They got crunked hard.
I'm really, I got, hold on, let's cut that out, so.
One, two, three, four, five.
I don't know if I got full points for that.
I think I said cities or faction names instead of provinces.
Right, well the faction names in the Total War are just the provinces.
I think I said a few capital cities.
One, two, three, four, uh, actually hang on.
I'm glad you, Eli, you very generously called out yourself.
I, uh, I doubled up on one of them.
So the moot is one of the ones that counts.
That's where the halfling is.
So that's one, two, three, four, five, six, up to Averland.
Averheim is not a province.
It is the capital of Averland.
Yeah.
Ooh.
That's a wrong one.
Stirland is not a province.
Stirland is a province.
Middenheim and Wiesentland are correct.
Actually, no, Middenheim's not right either.
No, it's just a city, I think.
Ooh.
The plot thickens.
Oh no.
Am I, am I going to get roasted?
Am I going to get roasted too, pal?
Is Merenberg part of the, part of the, uh...
Didn't it succeed?
It is not.
It officially succeeded.
It succeeded, yeah.
I don't know if it's the Empire though.
It succeeded from the Empire in return for a lot of money.
Eli, join me.
Join me.
I'm fully designed Steve.
Join me with my terrible answers.
Wait, do I get, do I get the same treatment?
Hal or Eli only gets four points after a quick recounting.
Hal gets...
I only got half.
...a full five.
I think I had, I think I had 12 answers.
Is that, are they all half?
You do, but the first 10 were all right, so...
The other two are so pathless.
Oh, fuck it, that's overkill.
Good job.
No, you got, uh, Nordland, Middenland, Ostermark, Hockland, Ostland, Reikland, Stirland, Tab,
Talibachland, the Moot, and Weissenland.
Is Avalon not a province?
It is.
Isn't that the green one?
Oh, I'm like, and so on.
Fuck me.
You have the points.
Let it lie.
There's no extra points on this.
Stop fishing.
I need the points.
Eli needs to die.
I mean, I mean...
Now.
In the video game.
If I remember correctly.
I need this so badly.
That's 12.5 for Hal.
And 11 for Eli.
Oh, he's so close.
And Andy is riding back up with two.
Yay.
I'm so happy.
With that being said, the last question, I thought for the first fantasy one, I'd get
it just out of the shot in the dark question, that I'm so confident that none of you are
going to get, that if you get this one, you win.
Oh, no.
There is a series of Warhammer novels about a vampire woman who has not only had her marriage
officiated by the arch-lector of Sigmar, despite her being a vampire.
So imagine if the Pope said, yeah, this vampire is cool.
But she even once saved the life of Karl Franz.
What is that lady's full name?
Oh, yeah, no way.
Oh, no.
That's why I said I'm so confident no one's getting this.
You win if you get it.
I'm going to go something out of the dark.
Is this, is she got the one with like really short blonde hair?
Like almost like white hair?
Nope, you're thinking of Ulrica from Godric and Felix.
Nah, damn it.
We still have to give an answer, don't we?
I've put my shot in the dark, but it's way less funny than the last answers I gave for
the various places from across the empire.
It did make me remember that Matilda book about that psychic girl, that one year old
psychic child.
Oh, well, while, while, while Howland, Eli are doing their archery, should I read out
what I put for the last one with my half point?
Oh, by all means.
Oh, okay.
I'm totally, I'm so sorry, but you know what?
That's all right.
I think it's better if you read this.
Well, I had no idea.
So I got Reikland and then I thought, wow, there's a lot of German stuff going on.
So I then put Reikport, Reiktropics, Rikers Island, Rikonia, Rikhaven, Rikbarrow, Rikcrispies,
Bratwurst and Oktoberfest.
I've got one answer in from Eli.
I'm just gonna put, this is actually, I'm gonna lie, this isn't a name, but this is,
I just want you to read this.
Oh God, it's not good.
First off, I'd like to say my humble apologies as the Quizmaster not reading Andy's provinces.
I goofed.
For the last one though, I'm gonna say howls for last.
We have Andy with Matilda.
We have Eli with Skaven Master Race.
Yes, yes.
Skaven will destroy Manthing Filth Nation.
Wait, can Eli, can you read that out in a Skaven voice?
I can try.
Skaven Master Race, yes, yes.
Skaven will destroy Manthing Filth Nation.
That wasn't that bad.
That was amazing.
I want that as my, whenever I get a text, I want to have that on my phone.
I'm overstimulated.
Oh my God, I need to breathe.
Hal hit me up with my man like a pizza cutter, all edge and no point.
The chaotic energy when you are the Quizmaster, Colin.
I'm sure you're responsible for this.
This is beautiful.
This is what I was going to do for.
Believe it or not, no, it wasn't right.
My man like a pizza cutter.
I can't tell if that's an insult.
I don't even know what that's aimed at.
What if it was aimed at Karl Franz?
What would your response be?
Then I'm getting angry.
Karl Franz, I just want the guy who watched Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.
The actual name of this vampiric woman, and I promise to you, cross my heart, this is
a real character.
Her name is Genevieve Sandrine Dupont Dulac Deodione.
That doesn't have the most Hermione Granger ever heard.
I did not make that up.
I laughed too hard and I think I pulled my back.
For what it's worth, Hal, to sue that broken back, you are the victor of this quiz.
Yes.
Come through with 12.5 points.
Eli not far behind with 11.
The win streak is broken.
And Andy with two.
I have a whole suspicion that for the rest of these quizzes, I'm always going to be like
never winning, but we'll see.
You never know.
I finally caught Eli, I'm coming from the crown.
It's going to be mine.
How about I not win my quiz?
Oh, the Slenesh quiz?
Hands down.
Yeah, but you're both Sleneshi boys.
I might have some questions that Colin can get.
I think I got Slenesh.
I'm a degenerate.
I have a few questions that I'd be very impressed about.
All right, I'm excited to hear it.
You heard it here first, folks.
Up next, Eli's quiz, Slenesh.
You poor things.
Every joke I want to make about that will get this video demonetized, so I'm going to
hold myself back.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Thank you very much, Colin.
That was pretty good, actually.
I'm glad.
I'm surprised at how well I did.
Oh my God.
Yeah, good job, Hal.
Good going.
Good old Karl Franz and his Karl Franz-Ossie.
How dare you.
How dare you disgrace him, of all people.
We're going to end it now before the fight begins.
Yeah, the smashing chairs.
Tune into the Patreon for the Fist Fight video exclusive.
Thank you all for watching.
We'll catch you guys next time.
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Bye.
Farewell.