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And then one final race to mention and then probably never mentioned again the Joe Carroll the old ones created

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They're here. Oh monkey men monkey. That's why I love the monkey men. They're not they're not important

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But if you're new to it does not come up much

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No, they don't everyone loves them. They'll show up every now and then and it's always fun when they do but they don't

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They're not narratively important. They're just funny little monkeys. They're awesome

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Hello everyone and welcome to lore crimes today

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Howling calling will be educating Andy and I on the rise and fall of the Eldar

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The

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The

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The

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The

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The

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The

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The

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The

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The

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The

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The

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The

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Take it away with the beginner section how thank you very much Eli

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So that just as we were talking about last time. We just finished with the massive

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Apocalyptic one might say the war in heaven, which has completely devastated

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most of the galaxy

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it's just absolutely torn asunder. And this is right after where the Necrons, everyone remembers

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from last time, have just entered into stasis sleep. And this is what we lead on to, which is

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the rise of the Eldarii. So if you are a complete noob, or if you are an expert, you'll definitely

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enjoy this section. But for those little cheeky beginners out there, the Eldarii race are a psychic

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magical spacefaring race. They are pretty similar to like fantasy elves, if everyone is familiar

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with Tolkien's work. Yeah, they're poor elves. And what makes them kind of really different from

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humanity themselves, that they are much taller, slimmer, they are vastly more intelligent than

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humans, you know, especially all of us lot in this room. We can say that. Oh, you know, agree,

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disagree. And what's special about the Eldarii particularly is they could reincarnate their

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souls as they pass through the warp upon death. Something humanity itself within Warhammer is

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unfortunately incapable of, you know, absolutely, you know, we were protesting everywhere. And this

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is something that was quite unique about Eldar within Warhammer itself is that they're not

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they're not really human in the way that like in Tolkien's work in other places, you can kind of

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see that they're very, they almost look like just elevated humans. But within Warhammer 40k, they are

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very, very alien. They are just completely, they don't have any common ancestry within

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the Warhammer universe. They are almost just almost freaky in a sort of strange way. Sorry, Colin.

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Just the three under the bus. I'll hold it in.

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It's perfect. And so this is the beginning of the this is 60 million years in the past. This is the

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rise of the Eldarii. And the Eldarii themselves are very technologically advanced. They are absolute

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masters of technology and use like psychic powers, particularly so they have they're really heavily

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integrated in that kind of dual use. It's a very, it's very different from what we call science

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in their way that we might understand it, shall we say, as they expand out throughout the galaxy,

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they are bound together in a kind of very like shared culture. So obviously, the great place,

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the great thing about Earth is that we're all vastly different. And we have vastly different

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cultures, but the Eldarii culture is very homogenous, we might say it's very shared,

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and everyone has a kind of understanding. And this begins with the understanding of Eldarii

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culture itself. So we begin with the pantheon of the gods. So yes, so we're way we might understand

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it is, if you particularly if you are new to Warhammer, it's like the kind of the Greek gods

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themselves. So this is how they view their kind of pantheon, they are almost relatable, shall we say.

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So the pantheon starts with Asurion, the king of the Eldarii, the god of wisdom, Isha, the goddess

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of the harvest and fertility, Vol, the god of forges, Kurnos, the god of the hunt, doesn't say

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what he specifically hunts, but we can all make he have a little guess. Geir, who's unfortunately

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her specialties lost to time, as we are 60 million years in the past. We Yes, I thought some things

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are perhaps intentionally left a mystery. We also have Hoek, the wanderer specialties are wandering.

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Apparently, it's not as in wandering with your legs or wandering with your mind as in I wonder,

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or I'm a wanderer. Which isn't probably leave that to the imagination. I imagine it's like

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the enslavers exactly what it says on the tin. He's very good at walking off just waving in the

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distance. He's always ending a film. I was like, there's the there's the god of wandering and then

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there's the god of pondering. Okay, if only or as we say that there is also Lilith, which is the

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maiden, not unfortunately, no metal bands involved in that maiden. No maidens as we say, she's the

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goddess of dreams and fortune. And then we also have Cain, the god of war.

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The god of being clapped by everyone.

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The god of games workshop needs to make someone look threatening.

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And then we also have excuse my pronunciation this one kegorak. This is the god of tricksters and

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also tricking my tongue into thinking I should pronounce that. So this is like the entire

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pantheon. They are, I'll see, they are literally gods, they are super powerful, and they are

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they are worshiped by many Eldari from their earliest origins all the way to our current times.

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So the Eldari at this time are they are on almost unchallenged in a way they are conquering

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vast amounts of territory within the galaxy. The necrons are gone. And unfortunately, as we

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talked about last time, some people's favorite the Kroak, who eventually do become the orcs,

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they have started to devolve, shall we say they are, they have no enemies really to fight and

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the Eldari are picking them off and they kind of collapse, shall we say. So as the Eldari empire

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has, you know, sadness for October, if anyone was listening during that time, for poor orcs.

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So the Eldari Empire is essentially unchallenged, they have no rivals within the galaxy.

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Their lives are luxurious, they are leisurely, they have, they really don't have problems,

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which we always like, we're all probably thinking, damn, if only Eldar had it on easy mode and they

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still messed it up. Typical, typical elves.

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You are getting ahead of yourself.

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One could say they are like rich kids complaining about...

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Daddy gave them everything and they still messed up the house.

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Daddy bought me the wrong color of car, you know, it's all over. And their technology at this time

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encompasses, everything for them is done in terms of daily chores are done by their psychic powers

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and their technology. They literally have, there is nothing to do. So this continues for millions

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of years, you know, the Warhammer universe is turning, the galaxy is spinning. And after an

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unspecified number of years, obviously everything, unfortunately, your peace never lasts and things

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always end up in disaster. So after the war in heaven against the Gitan, the Necrons and,

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sorry, excuse me, after the war with the Gitan and Necrons, the Eldari pantheon themselves,

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they perhaps they were bored. But this is when the trouble truly begins. And due into the part of the

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actions of Liliath and Cain, specifically, Liliath is the maiden goddess of dreams,

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and Cain is the god of war, a deception shall we say had taken place, a little,

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maybe a little cheeky lie with a grain of truth, shall we say. And this led to Cain,

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the god of war, slaughtering thousands of mortal Eldari. So Cain, yes, Cain was, let's just say he

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was souped up, he was not happy. So this led to Asurion, the king of the Eldari pantheon,

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forging a barrier between the mortal realm and the mortal existence of the gods. He separated them,

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and he made any kind of interaction with the Eldari almost impossible. And so this conflict

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began escalating. So this is so far in the Warhammer timelines past that the mythological

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version of the war in heaven is it has almost replaced what was the war between the Necrons

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and the Ketarn, and it's now because the war in heaven to them now is essentially the battle

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between the gods. So Cain, Vol, Isha, and Kernos all saw titanic battles and treachery that bled

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into their mortal followers as well. So the Eldari, everything was going down, shall we say,

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everyone was having a bad time. And it's not specified, it's left up to the imagination,

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shall we say, but this went on for supposedly years. And as the Eldari typically live up to

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a thousand years, this just went on forever. So finally, after just many people have died,

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it was just awful, literally war on an unfathomable level. The conflict was settled by Asurion,

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the king of the Eldari pantheon, declaring that Cain had settled any slight he had taken or

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anything he had endured. And the consequences had enough people had died, let's just say. So it was

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officially over. And this is where the Eldari society returns to peace. So this is again, they've

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returned to a time where they have absolutely nothing to do, and they have no more goals to

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achieve. And so as they keep reincarnating over different lifetimes, they become unfortunately

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bored, really, really bored. And we now fast forward, so this is millions of years have

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happened, the Eldari are unchallenged, and we reach approximately two million years from the

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modern timeline, which is where humanity has first taken its recognisable form.

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Will Barron Yeah, that's my boys.

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Toby So we are no longer our primitive form, we are essentially the beginnings of what would be

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modern man. And this is obviously a big deal. We are happy to be, we're in the game. And with the

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rise of mankind, the Eldari are essentially unchallenged still, they have nothing to do,

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they are very much nothing is happening for them. But as a result, should we say of all that has

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taken place within the both they say both war and wars in heaven, the warp itself is not good.

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And this is approximately about 500,000 years ago. This is approximately when the first ever demon

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was created. And it was ironically created from the first murder in humanity. So this is obviously

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not good. So this is a Guinness Book of World Records. That's one for humanity.

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Will Barron Yeah.

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Toby So we say, what a prestigious price.

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Will Barron So this is, let's just say it's, it's our fault.

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It was our fault.

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Toby Yeah, okay. Okay.

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Will Barron So as we so, yeah, I mean, if we had us, if we had like space daddies who were like,

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here's like everything in the world, maybe he didn't have to do any murder. I'm just saying.

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Toby It sounds like the warp wouldn't be so bad.

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Will Barron Yeah, if the elder hadn't caused so many problems in the beginning,

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and the humanity had to ignore everything they ever earned.

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Toby It was, it was the hell were worth uplifting.

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Will Barron So humanity has unfortunately the first demon. So we should say maybe it's the first

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piece on the chessboard for a great war. And as we fast forward in time, about 8,000 years BC,

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from our own timeline, a child is born in Anatolia, and a childhood one day be called the emperor of

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mankind. And as time is progressing, let's just say the warp is becoming turbulent. So there's a

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unfortunate, let's just say, the warp is intrinsically related to humanity as much as the

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elder. And during the Middle Ages of mankind, inside the warp, the very first God of Chaos,

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Korn, the God of War, hatred, rage, blood, you know, honour, strength and murder is created,

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he is coalescent, he is born. This is also unfortunately followed by Nurgle, the God of

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plague, disease, stagnation and death. And then we have Zech, the God of fate, time, evolution,

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knowledge, the changer of ways, shall we say. And so this is a sort of an unholy birth that has

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happened in this sort of, I guess, let's say, in Warhammer timeline, this is early humanity's history.

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And as we enter into the near 30th millennium, so this is Veldari at this time, as they have been so

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bored for so long, they have essentially become, they seek excitement, excess, they have no more

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new experiences, except the experiences which we might, let's just say, it might turn our stomachs,

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that they seek anything new. So pain and pleasure is taken at every milestone, any cost to just,

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anything to enjoy themselves and feel alive. And this is slowly, all this pain, this pleasure,

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this excess is just rippling into the warp. And it starts to birth something new, something truly

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evil. And this births the chaos god Slanesh. Big favourite moment for Eli there.

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He's smiling, I can see him smiling. So this birth of Slanesh is just an apocalyptic event

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that leaves the material universe scarred. And the Eldari themselves are almost entirely wiped out.

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They can no longer reincarnate as their soul passes through the warp and they are now

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feasted upon by she who thirsts. And that is essentially the rise, and I guess very quickfall

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of the Eldari. Are there any questions so far? Any thoughts?

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Mason- Is there an Eldar god of arrogance? Because there should be.

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That is probably all of them, shall we say.

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Bregman- That would be all of them. And they all earned it.

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Mason- They are basically just the spoiled brats of the universe. They got everything,

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everything. And even though it's like, oh, humanity made the first demon,

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they made Slanesh. It's like, that was a big one.

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Bregman- Idle hands do the devil's work.

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Mason- So is this what the extra session is going to be? It's just going to be me

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for the next 45 minutes.

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Bregman- This is basically, Colin has to defend that for the next 10 minutes.

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Mason- Yeah.

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Bregman- In a couple of minutes.

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Mason- I'm going to be loading my bolter.

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Bregman- So that is the very, I say that is the quick way to explain what happened in the,

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let's say the rise and fall of the Eldari. So now I will pass it over to Colin.

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Colin- So before I can defend my precious Eldar, we need to go back again first. You

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just wait. So we go back to right after the war in heaven, the first one.

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Bregman- Yeah, the Necrons have gone to rest, which is a good thing for everyone who isn't a Necron.

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The galaxy still kind of sucks to live in is the problem. Just because they're gone,

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doesn't mean that they're damages. The sea of souls, the warp is more of a mess than it's ever been.

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And the crook now have no enemy to fight. So there is a bunch of green

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Hulk monsters running around and beating the snot out of anything they run into,

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for the most part. It was indeed the war in heaven had been so traumatic

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that the Katan, the nightbringer, who just to reiterate, was shattered by Kane's hand.

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His big win for Kane and then the last win Kane ever gets.

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Still a big one though. The problem though is that when it was shattered, its pieces just kind of

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disseminating across reality caused races to fear death for the first time ever, pretty much.

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Except for the crook, again, they didn't care. They're just, they're always doing their thing.

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They're always happy. Good old lads.

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Yeah, but all that being said, it was slowly beginning to heal. Not fully because the war

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in heaven was apocalyptic, but it was still healing. It's better than nothing. And the Eldar,

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now beginning their rise, filled in the niche the old ones left behind, which is that of

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complete galactic dominance. And as they were in charge of the material world, so too did their

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gods rule the immaterial world. The mortal Eldar were in the galaxy strutting their stuff and their

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gods were doing the same in the warp. And their gods, speaking of before during the war in heaven,

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they were more or less weapons that the Eldar had created. Eldar and or slash the old ones. But now

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they were true gods that represented facets of reality. Fate, war and murder, complete rulership,

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the whole thing, the whole shebang, kind of like the chaos gods, but much, much nicer.

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Well, in a way. All right. Let's, let's not argue that they're nicer than the chaos gods.

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I agree on that one. Okay. We agree. We concede.

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Uh, I don't. And something's all right. Well, something we can agree on is that the enslavers

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were gone, which is a good thing. I'm hoping we can agree on that. Most of them were gone.

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Couldn't even finish the job. Kuh. Kuh. To humanity to be like, what is this? What have you left here?

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What is this? For now, they were gone. Okay. The warp, because they weren't having the constant

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slaughter had stopped. It calmed a little bit. And because pretty much like 80 to 90% of the

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galaxy had been butchered, there was less food for them available in the material world. So they're

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gone. And then one final race to mention, and then probably never mentioned again, the Joe Carrol,

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the old ones created. They're here. Oh, monkey men. Monkey. That's why I love the monkey men.

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They're not, they're not important, but if you're new to Warhammer, it does not come up much.

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No, they don't. They're great. Everyone loves them. They're great. They'll show up every now and then,

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and it's always fun when they do, but they don't, they're not narratively important.

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They're just funny little monkeys. They're awesome.

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So monkey business aside, now that the power vacuum of the old ones left behind was being

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filled by the Eldar, they expanded further and further. And because they lived for so long and

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were able to use their psychic powers at whim to do almost anything, they pretty much did whatever

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they wanted. There was one brief moment of their history that wasn't great where another race

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somehow managed to subjugate them, which they did.

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What? This is the deep lore here.

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This is the deep. It's one of those things lost to history. That race no longer exists. They were

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past tense, but it's where the term, it's where the term monkai comes from, in universe at least.

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Out of universe, you look at it, you go, oh, it means monkey, but in universe, it comes from

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those lads enslaving them. But once that little, once that little stumbling block was dealt with,

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there was nothing stopping the Eldar from achieving complete dominance. Anyone that tried to fight them

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was swiftly dealt with. Usually that race was no longer a thing. And the only real exception,

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only one worth mentioning is the Kroak, or should I say now, the orcs. The Eldar never did fully

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eliminate them, though they were regularly purged to the point where the orcs were a nuisance.

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And this might be a little bit of my bias slipping in, but there's a decent chance the only reason

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the orc were allowed to continue existing was it gave the Eldar something to do. You know,

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you wash the dishes, you take out the trash, and then you kill the mushroom men that are trying to

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break your house down. You prune, you prune the hedge outside, and in this case it's a fungal spork.

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Yeah, exactly. The hedge has a gun. Yeah, the hedge has a gun and lots of teeth.

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You just described plants versus zombies, like in a way.

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Well that'd be Necrons, really. That reference would get old real quick, by the way.

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It's a great reference that will always be relevant.

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So it sounds like it's the Eldar's fault that the orcs exist too?

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Hang on, I was going to say, let's give the orcs some credit, and this is actually me giving them

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credit. They're mushroom spores, and mushroom spores that cover an entire planet, it's not really

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easy to get rid of all of them. So personally, I'm of the viewpoint that the orcs are just

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too dead hard, and you can't get rid of all of them.

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Yeah, that's good. Let's just agree.

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Yeah, let's blame the Eldar, though. You know what, you're free to do that.

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I choose to give the green boys some credit. Technically blame the old ones for making them.

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Yeah, they're the worst. I feel like if you were the Eldar, you could just make a psychic

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vacuum cleaner or something that just scoops all the spores up. They had a lot of time on their

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hands, they had psychic powers, they could have done something. They could do something.

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That's the reason the orc never became Kroak again, because they need to fight to become Kroak.

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You can't really fight a thunderstorm across the entire planet.

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They also had help from the Necrons at the beginning stages, because they were fighting

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them too. So we can't give the Eldar all the credit, because Necrons did dent them quite heavily,

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and they disintegrated them. So yeah, I'm not giving that point to the Eldar completely.

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God, tough crowd.

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Before I sit here shaking in rage for the next 40 minutes, I'd like to pass it off to Hal

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to explain what's about to start for a second time, albeit in a different form.

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So it's a time of peace. The Eldar have been chilling. Sorry, the Eldari have been chilling.

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And as I said in my previous section, peace never lasts. So this is now the beginning of the second

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war in heaven. So this is a full on civil war between the gods of the Eldari. So the true reason

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that this titanic, I guess, battle doesn't even quite really describe it. This titanic clash happens

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like happens is because of one person's fault. And this is the Eldar God of prophecy and dreams.

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Liliath. Liliath was-

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Ever seen that coming?

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The maidens be tripping dog.

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My money was on gear.

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We don't know what she did, but we know she ruined it.

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She had side character energy. So Liliath was super power reduction.

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Very much.

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So Liliath was spurned by Kernos in favour of her mother, Isha.

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This is some Game of Thrones stuff here.

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Freud would be having a field day.

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So this didn't go down well, shall we say it? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,

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as the saying is. So Liliath, in her infinite wisdom, as she was obviously the god of prophecy

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and dreams, decided to whisper to Cain where she supposedly foresaw a future where the Eldar

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God himself was torn apart by the Eldari. She told Cain, knowing that he would take

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vengeance upon the Eldar, because, well, let's just say she was out for blood and she wanted

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to hurt everybody. The feelings of rejection are strong with this one. She did not take it well.

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And Cain, as he is, he's a god of war, god of murder. He did exactly what was on the tin,

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and he just started going ham. If that's the right way to say it, he just started going ham.

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Ham of Cain.

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Ham of Cain. Yeah, we're going to sell that soon. Please don't. So Cain went ham on the

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mortal servants, the Eldari. And this caused Esha, the mother goddess of the Eldari,

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the goddess of life, she started weeping. Literally a goddess was weeping as her children were dying.

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And she went to Asurion, the king of the Eldar pantheon. And Asurion was, let's just say he was

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having none of it. He did not treat it in a way which was, I need to endevine, he was just

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disgusted with all of it. And so he decreed that no god shall ever be able to interact with the

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material world again, and vice versa to prevent any kind of, any trickery, slaughter, anything.

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He just wanted it all over. And so he crafted a barrier separating the gods from their mortal

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followers, which as poor old Esha, the mother of the Eldari, which only made her more upset,

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and she began to cry even harder, as now she could no longer talk to her children.

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And I'll pass it off back to Colin for the next part.

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I like to imagine before I move on that the first Eldari he killed, it was just some guy taking a

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walk in the park thinking, what a wonderful day it is. And then he looked up and saw Cain rocking

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him down with a steel chair. I just like the ending of that with Esha crying. So like,

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yeah, basically, even the Eldar gods are crybabies. Fair enough. Okay.

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You find a mom that is never allowed to talk to her kids again, that won't cry. And I'll show you

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a liar. Anyway, he's here to be better. He's to marry a really nice guy in the end.

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Anyway. So Esha and Kernos, the mother and father of the Eldar race, were still understandably

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unhappy with this arrangement. And so cut off as they were from their children, these two parent

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gods still found a way to talk to them. They requested they went to the craftsman god of the

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Eldar, Val, or as he might be better known, Elphaphestus. And they asked him to make spirit

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stones, which will come into play much later in the Eldar's history. But for now, this is just how

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Esha and Kernos will talk to their children. Val was Esha's uncle, and he was too nice of an uncle.

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He couldn't say no, so he made her these spirit stones. And at first, it was always going pretty

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decently. The contact they had with their mortal children, it was in secret, no one found out.

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But they got more and more confident, which became arrogance that no one's ever going to

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found them out. And then sure enough, one day, Hubert Cain finds out that they're going behind

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Assyrians and his back and talking to their kids. So Cain goes ballistic, goes to Assyrian.

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Yeah, that's kind of his thing. He's the god of war. They generally have a one track mind, and

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that track is murder. So he goes to Assyrian and says, hey, this is some garbage right here.

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And Assyrian agrees. He says that even though they did this out of love, they still disobeyed him,

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the king and the gods, and they're no longer under his protection. So Cain takes them and

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torments them for an indefinite amount of time. During this time of which, Val was the only one

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who felt bad for them. And he came to Cain with a deal. He said, Cain, I'm going to make you

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100 swords, each of them better than the last and return, you got to let them go. Cain agrees,

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but he only has a year to make these swords, which even for a god to make 100 swords, each of them

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better than the last at a certain point, that just takes longer and longer to do. But Kurt Reval is

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confident. He takes this on and he works day and night for a year straight, but he can only make

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99 swords. The last one is left unfinished on the final day. So when Cain comes calling, it says,

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hey man, where's my swords at? He slips a mortal sword in thinking that Cain won't be able to tell

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the difference because he's a god of war, probably not terribly clever. Hopefully he won't call it

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out. Which to be fair to Val, it does work at first and Isshin and Kernos are allowed to go free.

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And then Cain gets to count and he goes, all right, one, one, two, three, four, wait a minute,

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this one's, this one's awful. This one is a regular sword. So the moment he finds this out,

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he goes to rage at Cain or he goes to rage at Val. He goes to slap Val silly, essentially.

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Val wasn't, Val wasn't idle though. He, in the meantime, he knew that there was always the

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possibility that Cain was going to find out. So he finishes that hundredth sword, Anaris,

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and it's better than the rest. It is the best sword the galaxy has ever seen before or maybe

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since. I will give you some credit, Andy, the emperor sword is quite baller.

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I was just going to say, you know, he's got 99 swords, but the EMP's got one, hit me.

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The EMP's does have one, but whether or not, at the time, at least, this is the best sword ever seen.

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Can't believe we slipped that in.

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I felt bridging the gap might be best, that if it doesn't work, I'm going to go back to being angry.

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But to get back on track, Val is still a craftsman. This might be the best sword ever seen,

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but he's not a warrior. And despite putting up a pretty good fight for someone who's just

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a blacksmith, Cain strikes him down and chains him into his anvil for all eternity, which granted

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is better than what Isshun Kurnos got, but still not great.

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It's like a living hell where you're, I guess, the way you might have to understand it is,

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imagine being chained to your work desk for all time. That's some people's personal hell.

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Like being chained to an Xbox with no controller, like, I just want to play something.

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Let me make something for fun. Make me more swords.

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But while this was all going down, the other Eldar gods were taking note and, more importantly,

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taking sides. And soon enough, every single one of them, but Assyrian, had chosen a side between

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Cain and Val. And God fought God in something that had never before been seen or since. And this one

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I will broke no debate on because in modern 40k, there's no fighting the chaos gods on their home

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turf. At this point, it was the entire warp going at itself as God fought God. And it even spilled

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over into the mortal land once more towards the end of the war in heaven, as there was a certain

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mortal hero named Eldanesh and Eldar, as you could probably guess. He had fought in the war in heaven,

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had fought quite valiantly, and was the Eldar's greatest hero. That being said, much like Val,

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he's not a god of war. And at one point, he fought Cain. He even at some point, however,

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he managed to do it, he'd gotten an Aris that 100 sword again and fought Cain.

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Still didn't matter. Cain struck him down. And this was the final straw for Assyrian.

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Because he had not taken sides, everyone involved still bowed down to him as the master. And when

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between Cain killing a mortal after the separation had been decreed, Val being chained, Assyrian was

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like, you're all done now. I'm done with this garbage. You all need to calm down. And so he said,

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Very naughty boys. Pretty much what it was. You are all acting like children. And he said,

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this is done. And to make matters a little bit more shameful for Cain, because he'd killed a mortal,

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he'd cursed Cain. Now Cain for all time, and it sticks even to this modern day in Warhammer 40k,

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he would drip blood from his hands so no one would forget what he had done, his slaughter of someone

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so far beneath him. And he gained a title which, to be fair to Cain, this is just a metal title,

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like this is not a bad part. This adds to him. It's spicy. Kayla Menchikain, Cain the Bloody

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Handed God, which the bloody hands, maybe that's a bit embarrassing, but that title, I mean,

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that's that's not something to be ashamed of. But either way, the war in heaven is over. And

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there's a line that I would quite like you to read Andy, that I think sums up what the mortal

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Eldar were up to at this point. Okay, then. The Eldar now cut off from their gods, but still with

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the gifts they had already been given, such as the Webway, were now unchallenged once again,

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not by their gods, not by any other races. No one. Yeah, except it. Yeah, and then humanity and then

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bang, bang, bang. You know what? I'll give you credit. You gave that the really cool narrator

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voice. Thank you. Very well done. Thank you. And speaking of, this was more or less the state of

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affairs for 60 million years, which I'm going to get back to that time span later. You better not

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forget it. But for now, the unchallenged Eldar ruled the galaxy. But a newcomer to the Galactic

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stage was finally on their way. Humanity, also known as probably everyone listening to this,

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unless there's something we don't know. Your lost in space, my dude. Yeah. Unless the Eldar are real

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and listening in, then they might be unhappy. But of course, humanity was, you know, they were just

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starting out in life. They would just only begun to evolve from apes and all that. This was the first

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humans, homo erectus, that kind of humans. But nonetheless, humanity is well on their way. And

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and to go back to an earlier point, how why don't you? Why don't you let us know what humanity

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immediately got up to? So this is where we join the timeline about 500,000 years ago. And this is,

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and it's almost impossible to describe how important this moment is for the entire

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modern timeline, particularly, and even the Horus heresy timeline for Warhammer. 500,000 years ago

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is, as we had discussed earlier, it was the first murder by a single human. This is the first time

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that humanity has made a choice. And a choice that is in it is not survival. It's not anything

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other than it is an evil choice. And this creates the first ever demon in the warp, the first,

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what we call a recognizable form of an actual demon, the enemy of all sentient life. And this

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is called Draknien. This is, it's, yeah, Draknien itself is an antithesis to humanity. Its name

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means end of empires. So it is completely tied to humanity itself. It is just about any progress we

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make, anything we do, we always build empires. And there is Draknien, the ender of empires.

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He will follow us no matter how long humanity lives to the end of time, because he is a creation

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of our very first sin, shall we say. And I'll pass this back over to Colin.

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Colin Sinclair Yeah, I kind of wish someone cooler had the sword now.

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Jason Vale Spoilers, spoilers.

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Adam Backman Spoilers for the armless failure to come.

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Uh, shout out, shout out by the way to human Cain for that one. Thanks a lot for that first demon.

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Jason Vale Pain. And then he became a vampire. But that's an entirely different settings. So

390
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:10,760
I will move on. So after this first demon humanity begins, despite that little oopsie developing,

391
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:16,040
they, you know, develop farming, iron, pointy sticks to hurt each other with, which not the

392
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:22,680
most glamorous start, but hey, everyone starts somewhere. And if nothing else, this encompasses

393
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:26,920
the Romans and the Romans were cool. So human humans are already getting up to some good stuff.

394
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:33,800
But something substantial on the galactic stage was coming pretty soon. It is believed by many

395
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:42,360
that the future God Emperor of mankind was born in the year 8000 BCE. Because even this early in

396
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:49,560
the development mankind had shamans or psychers and all that name. But around this time, they

397
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,560
were having some trouble interacting with the spiritual world and found out they couldn't

398
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:59,480
reincarnate themselves because the demon would eat them before they could do it or an enslaver or

399
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:06,680
something nasty in the warp. And then one final act of defiance. What else do they do but kill

400
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:13,320
themselves? Which might sound a little bit whack at first, but this is Warhammer 40k because they

401
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:18,840
all did it at once in some supreme ritual. Their souls merged into one being the pinnacle of

402
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:25,080
humanity whose power is such that it possibly rivals the old ones themselves. He would become

403
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:31,000
the God Emperor of mankind in due time, but for now, that's not his role. Sometimes-

404
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:38,040
He's just some bloke named Steve. But I mean, it's just quite impressive that Eldar had all

405
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:43,640
these gods given all this stuff and had these empires and it's like us, just a few suicides.

406
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:48,200
Already, we've got one of the most powerful things ever. Awesome. And we only had a few sticks to do

407
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:52,920
it with. Perfect. That's one way to look at it. I look at it as the Eldar didn't need to kill

408
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:58,920
themselves to make a god. They could just do it. Wow. No one gets the silver spoon straight away.

409
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:04,200
To be fair, he is not the God Emperor of mankind yet.

410
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,840
Yet. Indeed. But he will be.

411
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:11,880
He will be. But for now, even to give Biggie his credit, future Biggie his credit,

412
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:16,520
he guides humanity throughout the ages, sometimes as one of their greatest figures.

413
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:23,960
For instance, given the Imperium's obsession with Latin or High Gothic, I suppose,

414
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:30,360
there's pretty decent odds Julius Caesar was in fact the future emperor. Other times though,

415
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:35,720
he took more of a background role. He was channeling his side character energy,

416
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:43,000
be that a background scientist helping someone else make a great discovery or just a simple

417
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:48,760
man doing his best to help out the rest of mankind. And eventually mankind would reach

418
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:54,280
the stars. And this is when the Emperor's work truly began. But that is a story we will get to

419
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:59,720
later. I assure you. Early on, to get back to humanity, before we get back to the best race,

420
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:07,160
they developed FTL travel. But it was, or pardon me, they developed space travel, but it was limited

421
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:13,960
to sublight speeds. Travel took decades or more in these massive colony ships. And because of that

422
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:21,000
growth was slow as all get out. Useless. Pretty much. I believe it's four years.

423
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:26,200
How long have they had for this? And humanity's already now starting to become a player in the

424
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,720
big game and they're like, we've been around millions of years, we've just sorted this out

425
00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:36,200
and it's not even good. It's not quite... Yeah, it's not quite implied how long it took the

426
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:41,560
other races, but for particularly if you're a new to Warhammer as well, it's a sort of a,

427
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:48,680
there is a kind of mimicry of how we are almost similar to the Necrons in a way where we follow

428
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:55,320
a similar path of potentially over millennia. We eventually developed a kind of a very slow

429
00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:00,360
form of travel. So there's much less radiation poisoning and you know,

430
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:07,640
yeah, we human, the sun is not space cancer. And I like to think that while the Elder are still

431
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:12,440
figuring out the space stuff, the Orcs are just like put down there, down there, oh I can travel

432
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:24,040
planning. The interesting part is it is entirely lost to time how quickly the Elder became space

433
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:30,840
faring. It's heavily implied the old ones were very hands-on in their early creation. So they

434
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:38,120
may have actually, I had to give a point to Colin, they may have actually had it almost much faster

435
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:45,640
than humanity ever did, although they probably had some help. Essentially, we need you in space

436
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:49,880
right now. Here's a spaceship, go for a lightning at that robot. There were kind of bubble wrap

437
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:54,200
parents. They were like, right, we'll give you space travel and the psychic powers and all this

438
00:43:54,200 --> 00:44:00,600
stuff. Oh, it's okay. Don't worry. You didn't learn it. Just have it. Yeah. Damn, it's a tough crowd.

439
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:10,120
I'm just saying how it is, you know. Yeah. All right, buddy. Anyways, with the Warp Tribe's

440
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:16,280
invention in the 18th millennium, which if my millennial dating is correct, would be the 17

441
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:24,760
thousands years, travel was cut down. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but this is

442
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:33,480
when it happened. Travel went from years to weeks or even days and humanity, much like the Necrons

443
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:39,000
did, exploded across the galaxy, coming into contact with countless alien races that had sprung

444
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:45,800
up since the war in heaven's ending, allowed life to develop on its own again without robots or space

445
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:53,240
for our gods ruining everything for some poor alien race. So luckily for the burgeoning human race,

446
00:44:53,880 --> 00:45:00,360
the Eldarii saw no need to intervene in the civilization's doings. Their lives were so perfect

447
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:06,280
and their mastery of the galaxy unchallenged by this, even at this point, they had essentially

448
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:11,400
drawn themselves inwards. There was no reason for them to intervene because if they tried to start

449
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:18,920
something, the Eldar would snap their fingers and then their sun would explode. So mankind developed

450
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:25,000
unabated. And additionally, someone, if you're only a little bit familiar with Warhammer, you might go,

451
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:29,960
why is humanity making friends with these people? They hate aliens. At this point in history,

452
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:34,840
not the case. Mankind, if anything, was excited to meet all the aliens they could and make friends

453
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:41,640
with them. So ultimately there was no reason for any genocidal scale fighting to occur. Yet.

454
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:49,880
Yet. Big yet. Big yet. This still does turn into 40k. So it's a big yet. Thank the emperor.

455
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:58,120
And speaking of yet, ever since the war in heaven, the war, even though it had calmed down a bit,

456
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:03,000
was still a very violent place to be in. While the Eldar and their gods could interact with it

457
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:09,960
with impunity in the corners of on reality, three horrible dark beings finally came into being.

458
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:16,520
This million zero war, the war in heaven was of such magnitude that in the dawn of mankind,

459
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:23,400
it only took the final shove of humanity, their emotions to create these three gods of chaos.

460
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:29,080
Quite frankly, it's likely that these beings would have still come into being without mankind,

461
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:33,240
but human history is the easiest way to mark their births. So for the first one hell,

462
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:39,160
why don't you let us know who he was? So as we talked about in the beginner section,

463
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:46,680
it was during the medieval period of humanity that we had the birth of corn, the god of war

464
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:54,520
and bloodshed. His ascension was, it's almost, I liked the phrasing. I once heard a quote,

465
00:46:54,520 --> 00:47:00,280
which I always liked, which is, it's such a quiet thing to fall. And the kind of the coalescence of

466
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:10,200
these dark gods, it's no notice taken of it, but yet it's like an awful seed planted. And corn

467
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:19,000
himself is just absolutely, he is the embodiment of, particularly in our own minds, is a reflection

468
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:30,040
of just murder, war, bloodshed. He is martial combat on the field. He is strength personified.

469
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:37,320
He is war itself. And as we unfortunately may know with humanity, we have never been able to quite

470
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:43,320
separate ourselves from war. It's actually thought that the first demon prince, funny enough,

471
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:52,600
in Warhammer history might have actually been Genghis Khan himself. It's not hard to understand

472
00:47:52,600 --> 00:48:02,680
why, but yeah. So corn is the birth of, it encompasses word perfectly of chaos. He is a chaotic,

473
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:11,640
evil, terrible creation, and it is now with us. And I'll pass it back to Colin for the next chaos

474
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:19,320
con. Before you say anything, I just had a really like, imagine if demon prince Genghis Khan met

475
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:23,080
Jagatai Khan. That would be interesting. I could have a big fight with swords.

476
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,400
That'd be real nice. See who's-

477
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:26,680
It's like Khan?

478
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:27,480
Khan?

479
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:28,680
Smash, smash, smash.

480
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:29,960
Look at the good Kong's face.

481
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:36,360
Who's the real master of rapid warfare? Demon horses or jet bikes.

482
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,920
Sounds kind of cool actually, to be fair.

483
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:47,640
That does, but for now it is the time of the next god, Nurgle, the god of despair and pestilence.

484
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:53,400
Though he's also the god of acceptance of times to come, the endurance required to make it through

485
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:59,560
hardship with a smile on your face. He came about during the Black Death and the years to follow,

486
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:03,320
as that plague ravaged all quarters of the earth from Europe to the Americas.

487
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:09,240
And as a quick side note to every sophomore history student about to go correct me in the comments,

488
00:49:09,240 --> 00:49:14,760
I am aware the Black Death did not reach America, but plague took out about 90% of the Native

489
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:21,560
Americans, so it still counts. Okay? Thank you very much. Back to Hal for the last god and my history.

490
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:29,640
Yeah, so this is the birth of the third god of chaos. This is the birth of Zinch.

491
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:30,440
Yuck.

492
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:40,440
Yuck. Yeah, so he supposedly arrived during the Renaissance era. And Zinch himself is the changer

493
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:49,000
of ways. He is the god of magic, scheming, ambition, hope of a better future. He knows every

494
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:56,920
single future and yet he knows none of the futures. He is plot incarnate himself. And he is a

495
00:49:56,920 --> 00:50:06,120
perversion, shall we say, of our most enlightened thinking. He is that little voice in the back of

496
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:15,400
your head saying that always could be more. He is awful and yet even his imagery is chaotic, evil,

497
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:21,240
and frightening himself. And I'll pass it back to Colin as we talk about humanity a bit more.

498
00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:27,880
So as you probably noticed, it's mostly been the Eldar, but as humanity will get their own

499
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:35,880
episode later. But to mostly wrap up with them, in the 7,000 years to follow until the middle of the

500
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:42,360
25th millennium, humanity had their golden age. There was conflict every now and then against

501
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:47,960
Zenos, but nothing that mankind couldn't handle. Every race that was defeated was

502
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:52,360
defeated fairly soundly. But instead of being exterminated, they were forced into a galactic

503
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:59,480
federation. Mankind, even against enemies that wanted them dead, was, depending on your viewpoint,

504
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:06,520
either kind enough or naive enough to not just wipe them out. But as everything does, all good

505
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:13,080
things must come to an end. And around the 25th millennium, the age of strife began and humanity's

506
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:19,000
collective federation ended, mankind's prominence only to come thousands of years later.

507
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:24,520
By the 30th millennium, humanity was a little better than squabbling disparate planets isolated

508
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:29,400
from one another as it suffered a near complete collapse of governance, technology, and culture.

509
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:58,600
But for now, we get back to the Eldar. Now, I know, Hal, you said it was a quick rise and fall,

510
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:06,920
but I want to dwell on that time span they had for a moment. 60 million years of complete dominance

511
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:11,880
of the galaxy. You could say, yes, there's decent chances that a lot of that happened because the

512
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:17,880
old one gave them what they needed. But for 60 million years, they did not misstep once.

513
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:25,000
They did not ruin the galaxy. They did not corrupt it. They ruled it perfectly, essentially.

514
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:31,320
Other races developed on their own. The other races were allowed to develop on their own.

515
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:37,080
They did not ruin them. They did not in any way stop that unless the race decided to wage war on

516
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:43,160
them, whereupon that race vanished. And all that occurred in the interim between the war in heaven

517
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:48,440
and the Imperium, humanity's expansion included, occurred because they either allowed it to,

518
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,840
or they couldn't be bothered to stop it because it was so beneath their time they would need a

519
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:58,680
microscope. They served stars in their past time. Worlds were seated to be a paradise.

520
00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:05,160
Millions of years later, through bioengineering, to suit the elders, every whim and want,

521
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:09,320
felt the need for any development. They could go in that world, and it's basically heaven.

522
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:16,040
And on top of this, upon death, their souls, but not their memories, would reincarnate to

523
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:20,840
experience the world anew, after a brief stay in the warp, of course, to enjoy heaven because,

524
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:24,200
I don't know who wouldn't want to be in heaven for a bit. It's heaven.

525
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:27,720
It's a nice holiday. Like, you know, getting a quick break.

526
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:34,280
For the elder, the afterlife was basically a holiday before they get back at it.

527
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:37,240
Yeah, just got back from that life, brother. Oh, that was a long one.

528
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:42,120
How long did it take them to learn how to space travel again? Just 60 million years

529
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:47,480
they've been around. They have space traveled all of those 60 million years,

530
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:52,040
both through the warp and the webway. I don't know, they literally were given

531
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:57,400
God mode, reincarnation mode, infinite lives. They were given so many cheat codes to start with.

532
00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:02,840
I'm not surprised. Humanity, 15 million. They're like, right, we're going to be a match one day.

533
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:08,760
And we only needed like 40 million years, or 30 million, 30 million, 30,000 years from like,

534
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:16,840
yeah, that's quite a difference. You know, that's what like, hold on, divide 60 million by 30,000.

535
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:18,840
It's a lot. It's a lot of difference.

536
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:23,800
Had it not been for one key thing I'll get to, humanity would have been squashed.

537
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:31,240
But we will get to that. Anyway, they surfed, I already said that, pardon me.

538
00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:35,400
I was repeating myself and my indignity over this.

539
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,400
Basically just poking him with a stick every five minutes.

540
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:46,680
The elder, something else very important to know about them, because it explains why exactly they

541
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:52,360
fell, is that they experienced emotion and the world at a level that would drive anyone else

542
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:59,240
insane. The height of pleasure and the depths of despair a human can feel is nothing to an Eldar.

543
00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:06,280
They can still feel, you know, mildly annoyed, but their capacity for love, for rage, for depression

544
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,080
is far beyond anything any other race can feel.

545
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:16,120
And by this point, after 60 million years of unchallenged rule, the war in heaven, the divine

546
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:21,960
one that was literally in heaven, from Isha's tears to the slaughter of their kind by Cain had

547
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:26,440
went from a fresh memory to something they barely remember, a long forgotten myth.

548
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:36,040
Even in their long lives, 60 million years is a bit of a time. But all of this emotional experience

549
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:42,360
they could feel, their rulership, it came with a cost. It may have taken millions of years to be

550
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:50,120
paid, but once it was, it would rip the galaxy asunder for all time. To really quickly just talk

551
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,600
about them for a bit more. I'm sorry, I just can't help myself.

552
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:56,120
This is the Eldar.

553
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:57,160
This is my time.

554
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:59,880
And Andy needs to suffer through this part.

555
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,880
I'll have plenty of suffering later on.

556
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,280
Oh yeah.

557
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:13,320
But their cities were all works of art, dictated by the whims of those in it. Their lives were so

558
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:18,760
for so long, dominated by their whims rather than a need that meant each Eldar city was

559
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:23,880
dictated by the masses. Their buildings were a mix of both natural and alien architecture that

560
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:29,960
by all rights shouldn't exist. But between their mastery of science and the psychic world, it did.

561
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:34,760
And their empire held treasures beyond imagining, to the point that even nowadays,

562
00:56:35,240 --> 00:56:40,680
we're going to former Eldar worlds is a great way to lose your soul. Craftworld Eldar still

563
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:46,760
mount expeditions to claim those lost treasures, risking their very souls. For example, devices

564
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:51,720
that can just kidnap a star from its system it's in and take it somewhere else, and weapons

565
00:56:51,720 --> 00:56:57,240
capable of causing psychic plagues that can only be cured when the person who started it feels it's

566
00:56:57,240 --> 00:57:03,480
time to stop it are just a few of the examples of their utterly insane technology.

567
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:11,560
That's, I mean, you can't almost, you cannot really fathom that level of just power, raw.

568
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:19,800
The one with the psychic plague one is kind of really dark in a way. I love that grim dark

569
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:25,880
aspect of it just being up to the whim of the person using it, which is an Eldar. So you know

570
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:31,400
it's probably ultimate levels of pettiness too. Yeah, it's essentially hope you didn't make that

571
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:38,280
man angry because otherwise your entire planet now has super cholera, and it's only going to stop

572
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:42,840
when he decides I think you've had enough. He's given your planet crabs and joy.

573
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:53,960
But even this mighty empire must come to an end and beginning around the fourth and 25th millennia,

574
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:58,680
mirroring humanity's own fall, cults of pleasure began to form the Eldar Empire.

575
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:06,040
After all these millions of years of enjoying the universe, not feeling any sort of spiritual

576
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:11,880
corruption, they had finally grown bored. They had everything. They had done everything. There

577
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:17,880
was nothing left they felt the material world had to offer them. And from this sense of boredom,

578
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:23,080
which again, remember what I said about the emotions, the most bored you've ever felt would

579
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:29,240
be an elder like, yeah, it gets a bit of a slow, slow day, I guess. This was a boredom that set

580
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:34,360
into their very souls. And that's how these cults of pleasure set up. They advocated not just

581
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:39,880
enjoying the fruits of their labor, what they had earned and inherited, but to see just what they

582
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:46,600
can get up to. And for that reason, in the span of only a few thousand years, this million year old

583
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:54,120
empire rapidly had a moral degradation take place within them. And to give them still some credit,

584
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:59,080
at first, it was something that admittedly, even most humans are prone to. And with that, Eli,

585
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:05,080
I know you're a big fan of Slaanesh. Yeah, we have something to read. I think there's a quote

586
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:13,000
I'd quite like you to read. I would like the kind, lovely Eli. Okay. A get together with friends

587
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:18,840
turned into the single most legendary cocaine fuels party you've ever been to. The elder

588
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:25,960
frequently did the sex. P in the end, I will add. Such things, arguably, were not the worst thing

589
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:31,320
to happen. I mean, who doesn't love a good bender, but it all got worse. It got bloody.

590
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:38,200
Thank you very much. I thought you said the official Codex quote right there.

591
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:43,720
Yeah, I pulled it out from the seventh edition. That's called a law crime.

592
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:50,120
Maybe making Eli read it too, because you're so nice.

593
00:59:55,800 --> 01:00:00,760
The war crimes are going to get worse in a moment. But, you know, like I said, even at first,

594
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:05,960
it was like, you know, it's, you know, some DJ and stuff, but nothing that, you know, people don't

595
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:14,520
get up to. But then it got worse. Now, to be fair with you, none of this is explicitly stated.

596
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:21,560
But it is simply said that the elder reached new and new heights of degeneracy every day.

597
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:25,160
So I took some creative liberties, shall we say it?

598
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:30,680
The cocaine parties started getting cut with elder blood.

599
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:35,720
Oh, the sex turned into murdering your lover and then probably eating him. And since the elder

600
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:37,720
reincarnate, he could return the favor once he's back.

601
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:46,680
Torture of fellow elder became the dominant art form of elder society. And towards the end,

602
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:51,240
it said that rivers of blood ran through the streets of the elder empire as elder turned on

603
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:54,680
elder and their quest to experience the height of pleasure.

604
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:58,680
They make the Emperor's children look tame, basically.

605
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:05,080
Yeah, basically. Pretty much. And towards the end of even all this, all of that became mundane and

606
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:09,480
they pushed themselves further and further. They figured this whole time, we're immune to anything,

607
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:15,000
any consequences, there will be none. And at that point, who could blame them? This is coming off

608
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:21,160
of 60 million years of anything that tried to fight them or in any way challenged them, just

609
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:29,000
getting control deleted from existence. They had no needs. They were post-scarcity in every way. And

610
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:33,640
in the web way of the old ones, for those who are wondering when I would bring these fellas up,

611
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:39,480
those elder who committed deeds too dark for even the rest of the race, which dear God, imagine that,

612
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:43,400
gathered in hidden realms to push this depravity even further heights.

613
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:48,680
But for a race as powerful and psychic matters as the elder, the consequences in the warp were only

614
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:54,440
getting worse and worse, though they didn't know it yet. The elder gods themselves, having been

615
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:59,000
deprived of their worship, were deprived of their power and so could not prevent what was coming.

616
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:07,800
Cain was angry as he always is, but angrier than usual. He went from a 10 to 11 in this case,

617
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:13,640
and angry. Esha wept, which again, what else is new if he's at a 10 to 11, the crying.

618
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:17,720
And Assyrian, once again, as he does, simply was like, well,

619
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:25,560
can't deal with this. I'm going to just turn away. And worse of all, a new God was beginning to form,

620
01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:30,120
one whose gestation drove the Eldar to greater heights of degeneracy, furthering the cycle.

621
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:33,960
Hal, why don't you let us know who was born?

622
01:02:33,960 --> 01:02:43,160
So within the Warhammer universe, there are consequences for every emotion, feeling and

623
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:50,040
anything that is related to sentience, it unfortunately has a mirror within the warp.

624
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:55,320
And so every time that I've been poking Colin, he's been adding to the power of Cain gradually.

625
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:57,800
I've been adding to the power of Cain.

626
01:02:57,800 --> 01:02:59,480
Oh, Cain.

627
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:00,680
Okay.

628
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:15,080
Okay. So for the Eldari, the worst was now at their doorstep. So all that they had done,

629
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:22,600
all that they had become, it was not consequence free. And so around the 30th millennium of our

630
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:31,960
human calendar, because the Eldari went back a lot further, all of this excess, this depravity,

631
01:03:31,960 --> 01:03:39,080
this just absolute stomach churning acts and these stomach churning feelings as well,

632
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:46,840
their emotions in the warp, it finally started to coalesce. And just as we had three different

633
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:54,120
gods of chaos, a new god of chaos was born. Slanesh, the god of...

634
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:54,520
Woo.

635
01:03:54,520 --> 01:03:54,920
Yes.

636
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:57,320
The god of pleasure.

637
01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,320
Woo for me, buddy.

638
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:00,920
You guys are finally here.

639
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:09,640
The prescient chief of that. Slanesh is the god of pleasure and excess. It is a he, it is a she,

640
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:24,040
it is all things far and in between. It is Eldari in its imagery. It is just the most horrifying

641
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:36,520
thing you can imagine. And Slanesh's birth is not a quiet thing. It is so apocalyptically damaging

642
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:40,840
to the Warhammer universe that the scars remain even to the 40th millennium.

643
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:42,280
It ripped a hole in space.

644
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:55,960
Yes, with the eye of terror. And this explosion of this new god, it is a tide of corruption,

645
01:04:55,960 --> 01:05:02,040
of flesh, of demons. And it washes over the entirety of the Eldari empire.

646
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:12,440
People, the Eldari themselves, are almost gone in an instant. An entire race, trillions upon trillions,

647
01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:16,600
maybe not trillions, but billions upon billions of Eldari.

648
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:17,960
I'd say trillions.

649
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:23,240
I'd say trillions is fair. But all their hopes, their dreams,

650
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:32,440
anything redeeming about them is essentially washed over by their own sins. And this new

651
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:38,120
god Slanesh is born a monument to the sins. A little halo reference, everyone enjoyed that.

652
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:40,120
Very much.

653
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:45,400
So I pass it back to Colin for the consequences of this birth.

654
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:52,520
So a few of the Eldar did manage to either get away or avoid it entirely, depending on where they

655
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:58,440
were. Those who had managed to get away in the craft worlds, or yeah, the Eldar craft worlds,

656
01:05:58,440 --> 01:06:05,800
which to once again boost my Eldar ego, were called primitives by their fellows, which just

657
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:11,240
for context, a magical spaceship the size of a planet was primitive for them. Just, you know,

658
01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:15,880
there's someone else for you to chew on for a bit. Those who got away in time were free from

659
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:21,480
Slanesh's birth. They had taken pretty much all of the bits of Eldar culture they could with them.

660
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:28,040
Plants and animals or relics you can never create again. And everyone they could fit onto the craft

661
01:06:28,040 --> 01:06:33,640
worlds that was willing to go, they took and got out of dodge as quick as they could. Others who

662
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:37,480
would flood a bit earlier went to the maiden worlds, which were those planets the Eldar had

663
01:06:37,480 --> 01:06:43,880
seeded ages ago. And they became the Exodite Eldar. And those who were the worst of all,

664
01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:49,800
which is again really saying something, welled in the dark city of Kamara and became the dark Eldar.

665
01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:55,960
They were sheltered from Slanesh's birth in the Webway, since it's its own little sub-dimension

666
01:06:55,960 --> 01:07:02,280
highway tunnel thing. All others were instantly devoured into the maw of Slanesh to be tormented

667
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:07,560
and feasted upon for all of eternity. He's too happy about that, I swear. I know he is.

668
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:14,120
Conveniently skipping over its one Eldar three mankind, but no, it's okay. It's okay. We can

669
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:20,920
skip over that. They were behind the big wall that was ripped in the universe by the Eldar.

670
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:28,760
I'm just saying. They were kind of tucked away a bit. A little bit. Back to the Eldar though.

671
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:32,360
Their gods, just because they're gods, didn't mean they were free from this.

672
01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:38,520
Nearly all of them too were consumed alongside their children. Asurion, the king, had one final

673
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:43,320
noble act for his people, gave what of his power he could to the Eldar survivors, making them even

674
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:49,480
more psychic. But in the end, he too was devoured. Only three of them managed to avoid the initial

675
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:55,640
slaughter. Kegarak, or Kakarot, or whatever you'd like to call him. Yeah, Sheogorath.

676
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:56,760
Goku Drip God.

677
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:00,040
Queenie McQueen face.

678
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:08,280
The Prime Clown. The laughing god of the Eldar, for a bit more formal title. He fled. He saw that

679
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:13,560
it was going south. He wanted nothing to do with this. He was like, I'm out. Have fun everyone else.

680
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:20,440
I'm going to the webway. Isha, the goddess of life, sat there crying. For some reason,

681
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:25,800
he ate her right away. Probably saved her for last because he's like, no, that's not a threat I need

682
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:31,560
to worry about. Was actually rescued from Slyneash by Nergal. Though, given that he's also a chaos

683
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:38,920
god, rescue might be a bit of a strong word, but he's not. He happens as Peach and he was Bowser.

684
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:43,720
They're happily married now. What are you talking about? Yeah, sure. She was trying something

685
01:08:43,720 --> 01:08:51,720
different, which was crying. She's not stuck with Slyneash, which is, which at this point is a W.

686
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:57,800
A much worse fate, let's be honest. And Mighty Kane alone stood against Slyneash. And though he

687
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:04,040
was unable to defeat him, her, she who thirsts as the elder calls Slyneash, Kane in turn held up to

688
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:11,800
her and they were caught in a divine stalemate until someone with a vaguely similar name. The

689
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:18,200
first chaos, God Korn decided he's got other plans in mind for the bloody handed. Since Kane is also

690
01:09:18,200 --> 01:09:24,600
a god of war, Korn said that Kane is his property. Since he's an elder, God Slyneash says that he was

691
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:32,680
hers. He was caught as he was between these two divine powers, Kane shattered. And this made it

692
01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:39,240
even worse for the Eldar because the last full God they have that was involved is now shattered into

693
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:45,320
pieces. And all those, however many bits of him there were spread throughout the nation, craft

694
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:50,840
were broken. And the Eldar was just a little bit of a mess. And he was just a little bit of a

695
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:56,040
mess. However many bits of him there were spread throughout the nation, craft worlds and drove

696
01:09:56,040 --> 01:10:00,600
many of the Eldar survivors to violent insanity as the God of War took root in their home.

697
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:06,120
So they got out of Dodge of Slyneash and then Kane comes back in with the steel chair for the second

698
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:12,760
time in history and makes them all nuts. And funnily enough to go back to something earlier,

699
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:19,240
in a way, Lillia's prophecy finally became true. Kane was shattered by the mortal Eldar's actions.

700
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:25,720
So no one really saw it coming this way. And to make it worse of them, worse for the Eldar,

701
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:31,080
whenever they died, they didn't just reincarnate and then chill out with their gods for a while.

702
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:36,040
Now they're pulled straight into Slyneash's waiting embrace because much like the Ketan

703
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:42,520
found souls quite tasty, Slyneash finds Eldar just delicious. The finest KFC you've ever had

704
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:53,880
in your life. And worse for everyone, Eldar included, but this one actually affects everyone

705
01:10:53,880 --> 01:11:00,840
else. When Slyneash was born, the very fabric of reality just couldn't handle it. And in what was

706
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:06,600
once the heart of the Eldar Empire, reality and the Morpht were merged, not warged, forming the

707
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:11,800
Eye of Terror, a gateway to the warps spilling out into reality where planets and beings of nightmare

708
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:18,600
now existed, where the once great Eldar homeworlds once did. And with that, the galaxy is probably

709
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:24,600
in the worst shape it's ever been. Thanks Eldar. Thank you everyone. No, thank you Necrons. We can

710
01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:33,400
all blame this back on the Necrons. I love the Chaos Gods as a kind of byproduct for humanity

711
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:38,200
during this whole kerfuffle. They basically all just barfed in Synthia's spend. Yoink. Like Nurgle,

712
01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:43,000
I'm having her. Cain's just like, Korn's just like, I'm having him. Just like, oh, this is our time

713
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:47,080
to just have something. I'll just nick that. Yeah, it's fine. They're very market. Yeah.

714
01:11:47,080 --> 01:11:52,680
Yeah. Very. Just watching gang. Going to the Eldar barbecue. I like to imagine

715
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:58,440
Zeench wanted Kegarack since they're both scheme-y fellas. But the Clown God, the Clown God, it was

716
01:11:58,440 --> 01:12:07,160
too smart. He's like, no, no, not gonna involve everyone. I'm out. No way. Oh, thanks. But though

717
01:12:07,160 --> 01:12:13,240
everything was a bit messy, to say the least, there was light of the tunnel for everyone.

718
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:18,680
Although the Eldar were fractured, they managed to weather the storm. The craft world developed

719
01:12:18,680 --> 01:12:23,160
methods to keep their souls safe from Slyneash. Those spirit stones come in handy again.

720
01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:28,360
And they formed the path system, as it would come to be known as, to keep their extreme emotions in

721
01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:35,480
check so that never again could they fall to these depths of emotion. The Exodites would pass into

722
01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:41,000
their maiden world spirit upon death because they're wood elves and live in trees. And of course,

723
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:48,760
they die in trees too. Ted Kaczynski elves. Can we get a picture of Ted with pointy ears?

724
01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:55,320
You have to keep in mind that pollution and its consequences have been a disaster to Eldar kind.

725
01:12:56,520 --> 01:12:58,200
If you want to commission that artwork.

726
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:11,080
You know, it's a little bit more savage than I'd like. And to get back to things being bad,

727
01:13:11,800 --> 01:13:16,360
though not for these, this group of Eldar, those who would continue on their damned path,

728
01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:20,440
because when you create a God that eats all of your race, what else do you do but double down?

729
01:13:21,160 --> 01:13:25,000
They were safe in the webway from the worst effects and found ways to repair their souls

730
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:30,440
through the suffering of others. And this next sentence is going to hurt me to say,

731
01:13:30,440 --> 01:13:35,480
so Andy, please keep your gloating until I'm done in. I beg of you. I'm sure you are.

732
01:13:36,200 --> 01:13:40,200
Though the story of the Eldar does not end here, the focus of the Galactic Stage was shifting

733
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:48,440
after 60 million years. Just read her in. The birth of Sinesh, while it meant that warp travel

734
01:13:48,440 --> 01:13:52,360
was impossible for the Eldar, because she would just eat them if they went in there,

735
01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:56,600
had finally rid the galaxy of the warp storms that had made FTL travel impossible.

736
01:13:57,320 --> 01:14:02,280
This led to the second rise of a species, long due its dominance of the galaxy,

737
01:14:02,280 --> 01:14:10,120
mankind with the Emperor leading the charge. And that was the fall of the Eldar,

738
01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:15,000
the longest running empire, the rise and fall. Yes. Thank you.

739
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:22,520
Don't forget the rise part. Of course. Everyone else did. They certainly didn't.

740
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:28,600
Are there any questions you two wonderful listeners have?

741
01:14:29,480 --> 01:14:31,480
Is there any more poking with the stick?

742
01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:39,560
Eli, anything? I haven't got a question, but there's something else I might just mention.

743
01:14:39,560 --> 01:14:48,360
But, uh, just digesting all of that. There was a lot to be fair.

744
01:14:49,480 --> 01:14:54,840
Entire race is history. A quick 60 million year long history lecture.

745
01:14:56,680 --> 01:14:58,120
You did very well at telling it.

746
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:05,080
It would be nice to have more Exodite Eldar focus. I don't think Games Workshop really

747
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:10,040
ever talks about them often, do they? It would. And I know this is 40k, but it

748
01:15:10,040 --> 01:15:15,080
really bothers me because the Wood Elves are really cool and also absolutely psychotic.

749
01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:21,400
Yep. They're awesome. But there's no Exodite lore. There is Exodite lore. I can tell you

750
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:25,720
it all right now. Here's a quick bonus. The Exodites are there. Someone is killing them.

751
01:15:26,360 --> 01:15:30,280
Help save them. The end. There's your quick bonus episode.

752
01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:35,960
They make a short appearance in the Infinite and the Divine

753
01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:40,920
book series with Trezin. And they're an excuse to put your

754
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:43,960
elder models on dinosaurs. That is very true.

755
01:15:44,760 --> 01:15:50,840
Well, thank you all very much for listening. Make sure to like and subscribe. Put in the

756
01:15:50,840 --> 01:15:56,600
comments section any sort of questions you have or maybe your favourite piece,

757
01:15:56,600 --> 01:16:00,840
maybe a favourite comment one of us made. Hopefully nothing too rude.

758
01:16:02,040 --> 01:16:05,800
Before we end, is there anything I should mention? I didn't have any questions, but

759
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:09,960
I did have one thing which I thought was kind of interesting hearing Colin talking about it

760
01:16:09,960 --> 01:16:15,160
and Hal as well. It's interesting to see how the three big players, quote, the Necrons,

761
01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:20,520
Eldar and Humanity all had different outcomes, which all kind of went the same way. The Necron

762
01:16:20,520 --> 01:16:26,920
had nothing and they had the worst situation, still had a really, really tough time. Eldar, given

763
01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:31,720
everything. And they did it right for a while and they still messed it up. And then like Humanity's

764
01:16:31,720 --> 01:16:35,720
in that middle ground where they didn't have much, but they have more than the Necrons.

765
01:16:36,280 --> 01:16:40,920
And they had way less than the Eldar. And they had a galaxy was kind of at peace by the time

766
01:16:40,920 --> 01:16:46,120
they got started. But then they had like the scrounges of the universe. It's like, oh, we

767
01:16:46,120 --> 01:16:50,920
found all this stuff that other people left here. And then it's like, oh, that's not cool. That big

768
01:16:50,920 --> 01:16:54,840
Eye of Terror, that's kind of annoying and scary. That's a bit rough. Look at this pylon from the

769
01:16:54,840 --> 01:17:00,120
Necrons. Thank you. And yeah, I found that quite interesting. I think it's a theme within Warhammer

770
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:07,560
of Pyrrhic victory. You kind of win, but you have lost nearly everything. I'd say congratulations.

771
01:17:07,560 --> 01:17:13,160
You barely made it through. Good job. Yeah. It's a good job interview you come out of and your

772
01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:20,760
entire like suit is destroyed. One of your shoes is on fire, but still.

773
01:17:21,640 --> 01:17:28,120
Pain. Thank you all for listening, for watching. Make sure again, like and subscribe if you enjoyed

774
01:17:28,120 --> 01:17:34,760
it. Any suggestions for topics is welcome as well. We love to hear, you know, whatever you guys want

775
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:40,840
to hear or anything, if you're new to Warhammer, any topics you think, wow, that's really interesting

776
01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:45,480
to me. You know, we'd love to give it a go. So thank you all very much for listening. Thank you.

777
01:17:45,480 --> 01:18:11,080
Thank you. Take care everyone. Take care. Thank you.

778
01:18:15,480 --> 01:18:25,080
Bye.