And then one final race to mention and then probably never mentioned again the Joe Carroll the old ones created
They're here. Oh monkey men monkey. That's why I love the monkey men. They're not they're not important
But if you're new to it does not come up much
No, they don't everyone loves them. They'll show up every now and then and it's always fun when they do but they don't
They're not narratively important. They're just funny little monkeys. They're awesome
Hello everyone and welcome to lore crimes today
Howling calling will be educating Andy and I on the rise and fall of the Eldar
The
Take it away with the beginner section how thank you very much Eli
So that just as we were talking about last time. We just finished with the massive
Apocalyptic one might say the war in heaven, which has completely devastated
most of the galaxy
it's just absolutely torn asunder. And this is right after where the Necrons, everyone remembers
from last time, have just entered into stasis sleep. And this is what we lead on to, which is
the rise of the Eldarii. So if you are a complete noob, or if you are an expert, you'll definitely
enjoy this section. But for those little cheeky beginners out there, the Eldarii race are a psychic
magical spacefaring race. They are pretty similar to like fantasy elves, if everyone is familiar
with Tolkien's work. Yeah, they're poor elves. And what makes them kind of really different from
humanity themselves, that they are much taller, slimmer, they are vastly more intelligent than
humans, you know, especially all of us lot in this room. We can say that. Oh, you know, agree,
disagree. And what's special about the Eldarii particularly is they could reincarnate their
souls as they pass through the warp upon death. Something humanity itself within Warhammer is
unfortunately incapable of, you know, absolutely, you know, we were protesting everywhere. And this
is something that was quite unique about Eldar within Warhammer itself is that they're not
they're not really human in the way that like in Tolkien's work in other places, you can kind of
see that they're very, they almost look like just elevated humans. But within Warhammer 40k, they are
very, very alien. They are just completely, they don't have any common ancestry within
the Warhammer universe. They are almost just almost freaky in a sort of strange way. Sorry, Colin.
Just the three under the bus. I'll hold it in.
It's perfect. And so this is the beginning of the this is 60 million years in the past. This is the
rise of the Eldarii. And the Eldarii themselves are very technologically advanced. They are absolute
masters of technology and use like psychic powers, particularly so they have they're really heavily
integrated in that kind of dual use. It's a very, it's very different from what we call science
in their way that we might understand it, shall we say, as they expand out throughout the galaxy,
they are bound together in a kind of very like shared culture. So obviously, the great place,
the great thing about Earth is that we're all vastly different. And we have vastly different
cultures, but the Eldarii culture is very homogenous, we might say it's very shared,
and everyone has a kind of understanding. And this begins with the understanding of Eldarii
culture itself. So we begin with the pantheon of the gods. So yes, so we're way we might understand
it is, if you particularly if you are new to Warhammer, it's like the kind of the Greek gods
themselves. So this is how they view their kind of pantheon, they are almost relatable, shall we say.
So the pantheon starts with Asurion, the king of the Eldarii, the god of wisdom, Isha, the goddess
of the harvest and fertility, Vol, the god of forges, Kurnos, the god of the hunt, doesn't say
what he specifically hunts, but we can all make he have a little guess. Geir, who's unfortunately
her specialties lost to time, as we are 60 million years in the past. We Yes, I thought some things
are perhaps intentionally left a mystery. We also have Hoek, the wanderer specialties are wandering.
Apparently, it's not as in wandering with your legs or wandering with your mind as in I wonder,
or I'm a wanderer. Which isn't probably leave that to the imagination. I imagine it's like
the enslavers exactly what it says on the tin. He's very good at walking off just waving in the
distance. He's always ending a film. I was like, there's the there's the god of wandering and then
there's the god of pondering. Okay, if only or as we say that there is also Lilith, which is the
maiden, not unfortunately, no metal bands involved in that maiden. No maidens as we say, she's the
goddess of dreams and fortune. And then we also have Cain, the god of war.
The god of being clapped by everyone.
The god of games workshop needs to make someone look threatening.
And then we also have excuse my pronunciation this one kegorak. This is the god of tricksters and
also tricking my tongue into thinking I should pronounce that. So this is like the entire
pantheon. They are, I'll see, they are literally gods, they are super powerful, and they are
they are worshiped by many Eldari from their earliest origins all the way to our current times.
So the Eldari at this time are they are on almost unchallenged in a way they are conquering
vast amounts of territory within the galaxy. The necrons are gone. And unfortunately, as we
talked about last time, some people's favorite the Kroak, who eventually do become the orcs,
they have started to devolve, shall we say they are, they have no enemies really to fight and
the Eldari are picking them off and they kind of collapse, shall we say. So as the Eldari empire
has, you know, sadness for October, if anyone was listening during that time, for poor orcs.
So the Eldari Empire is essentially unchallenged, they have no rivals within the galaxy.
Their lives are luxurious, they are leisurely, they have, they really don't have problems,
which we always like, we're all probably thinking, damn, if only Eldar had it on easy mode and they
still messed it up. Typical, typical elves.
You are getting ahead of yourself.
One could say they are like rich kids complaining about...
Daddy gave them everything and they still messed up the house.
Daddy bought me the wrong color of car, you know, it's all over. And their technology at this time
encompasses, everything for them is done in terms of daily chores are done by their psychic powers
and their technology. They literally have, there is nothing to do. So this continues for millions
of years, you know, the Warhammer universe is turning, the galaxy is spinning. And after an
unspecified number of years, obviously everything, unfortunately, your peace never lasts and things
always end up in disaster. So after the war in heaven against the Gitan, the Necrons and,
sorry, excuse me, after the war with the Gitan and Necrons, the Eldari pantheon themselves,
they perhaps they were bored. But this is when the trouble truly begins. And due into the part of the
actions of Liliath and Cain, specifically, Liliath is the maiden goddess of dreams,
and Cain is the god of war, a deception shall we say had taken place, a little,
maybe a little cheeky lie with a grain of truth, shall we say. And this led to Cain,
the god of war, slaughtering thousands of mortal Eldari. So Cain, yes, Cain was, let's just say he
was souped up, he was not happy. So this led to Asurion, the king of the Eldari pantheon,
forging a barrier between the mortal realm and the mortal existence of the gods. He separated them,
and he made any kind of interaction with the Eldari almost impossible. And so this conflict
began escalating. So this is so far in the Warhammer timelines past that the mythological
version of the war in heaven is it has almost replaced what was the war between the Necrons
and the Ketarn, and it's now because the war in heaven to them now is essentially the battle
between the gods. So Cain, Vol, Isha, and Kernos all saw titanic battles and treachery that bled
into their mortal followers as well. So the Eldari, everything was going down, shall we say,
everyone was having a bad time. And it's not specified, it's left up to the imagination,
shall we say, but this went on for supposedly years. And as the Eldari typically live up to
a thousand years, this just went on forever. So finally, after just many people have died,
it was just awful, literally war on an unfathomable level. The conflict was settled by Asurion,
the king of the Eldari pantheon, declaring that Cain had settled any slight he had taken or
anything he had endured. And the consequences had enough people had died, let's just say. So it was
officially over. And this is where the Eldari society returns to peace. So this is again, they've
returned to a time where they have absolutely nothing to do, and they have no more goals to
achieve. And so as they keep reincarnating over different lifetimes, they become unfortunately
bored, really, really bored. And we now fast forward, so this is millions of years have
happened, the Eldari are unchallenged, and we reach approximately two million years from the
modern timeline, which is where humanity has first taken its recognisable form.
Will Barron Yeah, that's my boys.
Toby So we are no longer our primitive form, we are essentially the beginnings of what would be
modern man. And this is obviously a big deal. We are happy to be, we're in the game. And with the
rise of mankind, the Eldari are essentially unchallenged still, they have nothing to do,
they are very much nothing is happening for them. But as a result, should we say of all that has
taken place within the both they say both war and wars in heaven, the warp itself is not good.
And this is approximately about 500,000 years ago. This is approximately when the first ever demon
was created. And it was ironically created from the first murder in humanity. So this is obviously
not good. So this is a Guinness Book of World Records. That's one for humanity.
Will Barron Yeah.
Toby So we say, what a prestigious price.
Will Barron So this is, let's just say it's, it's our fault.
It was our fault.
Toby Yeah, okay. Okay.
Will Barron So as we so, yeah, I mean, if we had us, if we had like space daddies who were like,
here's like everything in the world, maybe he didn't have to do any murder. I'm just saying.
Toby It sounds like the warp wouldn't be so bad.
Will Barron Yeah, if the elder hadn't caused so many problems in the beginning,
and the humanity had to ignore everything they ever earned.
Toby It was, it was the hell were worth uplifting.
Will Barron So humanity has unfortunately the first demon. So we should say maybe it's the first
piece on the chessboard for a great war. And as we fast forward in time, about 8,000 years BC,
from our own timeline, a child is born in Anatolia, and a childhood one day be called the emperor of
mankind. And as time is progressing, let's just say the warp is becoming turbulent. So there's a
unfortunate, let's just say, the warp is intrinsically related to humanity as much as the
elder. And during the Middle Ages of mankind, inside the warp, the very first God of Chaos,
Korn, the God of War, hatred, rage, blood, you know, honour, strength and murder is created,
he is coalescent, he is born. This is also unfortunately followed by Nurgle, the God of
plague, disease, stagnation and death. And then we have Zech, the God of fate, time, evolution,
knowledge, the changer of ways, shall we say. And so this is a sort of an unholy birth that has
happened in this sort of, I guess, let's say, in Warhammer timeline, this is early humanity's history.
And as we enter into the near 30th millennium, so this is Veldari at this time, as they have been so
bored for so long, they have essentially become, they seek excitement, excess, they have no more
new experiences, except the experiences which we might, let's just say, it might turn our stomachs,
that they seek anything new. So pain and pleasure is taken at every milestone, any cost to just,
anything to enjoy themselves and feel alive. And this is slowly, all this pain, this pleasure,
this excess is just rippling into the warp. And it starts to birth something new, something truly
evil. And this births the chaos god Slanesh. Big favourite moment for Eli there.
He's smiling, I can see him smiling. So this birth of Slanesh is just an apocalyptic event
that leaves the material universe scarred. And the Eldari themselves are almost entirely wiped out.
They can no longer reincarnate as their soul passes through the warp and they are now
feasted upon by she who thirsts. And that is essentially the rise, and I guess very quickfall
of the Eldari. Are there any questions so far? Any thoughts?
Mason- Is there an Eldar god of arrogance? Because there should be.
That is probably all of them, shall we say.
Bregman- That would be all of them. And they all earned it.
Mason- They are basically just the spoiled brats of the universe. They got everything,
everything. And even though it's like, oh, humanity made the first demon,
they made Slanesh. It's like, that was a big one.
Bregman- Idle hands do the devil's work.
Mason- So is this what the extra session is going to be? It's just going to be me
for the next 45 minutes.
Bregman- This is basically, Colin has to defend that for the next 10 minutes.
Mason- Yeah.
Bregman- In a couple of minutes.
Mason- I'm going to be loading my bolter.
Bregman- So that is the very, I say that is the quick way to explain what happened in the,
let's say the rise and fall of the Eldari. So now I will pass it over to Colin.
Colin- So before I can defend my precious Eldar, we need to go back again first. You
just wait. So we go back to right after the war in heaven, the first one.
Bregman- Yeah, the Necrons have gone to rest, which is a good thing for everyone who isn't a Necron.
The galaxy still kind of sucks to live in is the problem. Just because they're gone,
doesn't mean that they're damages. The sea of souls, the warp is more of a mess than it's ever been.
And the crook now have no enemy to fight. So there is a bunch of green
Hulk monsters running around and beating the snot out of anything they run into,
for the most part. It was indeed the war in heaven had been so traumatic
that the Katan, the nightbringer, who just to reiterate, was shattered by Kane's hand.
His big win for Kane and then the last win Kane ever gets.
Still a big one though. The problem though is that when it was shattered, its pieces just kind of
disseminating across reality caused races to fear death for the first time ever, pretty much.
Except for the crook, again, they didn't care. They're just, they're always doing their thing.
They're always happy. Good old lads.
Yeah, but all that being said, it was slowly beginning to heal. Not fully because the war
in heaven was apocalyptic, but it was still healing. It's better than nothing. And the Eldar,
now beginning their rise, filled in the niche the old ones left behind, which is that of
complete galactic dominance. And as they were in charge of the material world, so too did their
gods rule the immaterial world. The mortal Eldar were in the galaxy strutting their stuff and their
gods were doing the same in the warp. And their gods, speaking of before during the war in heaven,
they were more or less weapons that the Eldar had created. Eldar and or slash the old ones. But now
they were true gods that represented facets of reality. Fate, war and murder, complete rulership,
the whole thing, the whole shebang, kind of like the chaos gods, but much, much nicer.
Well, in a way. All right. Let's, let's not argue that they're nicer than the chaos gods.
I agree on that one. Okay. We agree. We concede.
Uh, I don't. And something's all right. Well, something we can agree on is that the enslavers
were gone, which is a good thing. I'm hoping we can agree on that. Most of them were gone.
Couldn't even finish the job. Kuh. Kuh. To humanity to be like, what is this? What have you left here?
What is this? For now, they were gone. Okay. The warp, because they weren't having the constant
slaughter had stopped. It calmed a little bit. And because pretty much like 80 to 90% of the
galaxy had been butchered, there was less food for them available in the material world. So they're
gone. And then one final race to mention, and then probably never mentioned again, the Joe Carrol,
the old ones created. They're here. Oh, monkey men. Monkey. That's why I love the monkey men.
They're not, they're not important, but if you're new to Warhammer, it does not come up much.
No, they don't. They're great. Everyone loves them. They're great. They'll show up every now and then,
and it's always fun when they do, but they don't, they're not narratively important.
They're just funny little monkeys. They're awesome.
So monkey business aside, now that the power vacuum of the old ones left behind was being
filled by the Eldar, they expanded further and further. And because they lived for so long and
were able to use their psychic powers at whim to do almost anything, they pretty much did whatever
they wanted. There was one brief moment of their history that wasn't great where another race
somehow managed to subjugate them, which they did.
What? This is the deep lore here.
This is the deep. It's one of those things lost to history. That race no longer exists. They were
past tense, but it's where the term, it's where the term monkai comes from, in universe at least.
Out of universe, you look at it, you go, oh, it means monkey, but in universe, it comes from
those lads enslaving them. But once that little, once that little stumbling block was dealt with,
there was nothing stopping the Eldar from achieving complete dominance. Anyone that tried to fight them
was swiftly dealt with. Usually that race was no longer a thing. And the only real exception,
only one worth mentioning is the Kroak, or should I say now, the orcs. The Eldar never did fully
eliminate them, though they were regularly purged to the point where the orcs were a nuisance.
And this might be a little bit of my bias slipping in, but there's a decent chance the only reason
the orc were allowed to continue existing was it gave the Eldar something to do. You know,
you wash the dishes, you take out the trash, and then you kill the mushroom men that are trying to
break your house down. You prune, you prune the hedge outside, and in this case it's a fungal spork.
Yeah, exactly. The hedge has a gun. Yeah, the hedge has a gun and lots of teeth.
You just described plants versus zombies, like in a way.
Well that'd be Necrons, really. That reference would get old real quick, by the way.
It's a great reference that will always be relevant.
So it sounds like it's the Eldar's fault that the orcs exist too?
Hang on, I was going to say, let's give the orcs some credit, and this is actually me giving them
credit. They're mushroom spores, and mushroom spores that cover an entire planet, it's not really
easy to get rid of all of them. So personally, I'm of the viewpoint that the orcs are just
too dead hard, and you can't get rid of all of them.
Yeah, that's good. Let's just agree.
Yeah, let's blame the Eldar, though. You know what, you're free to do that.
I choose to give the green boys some credit. Technically blame the old ones for making them.
Yeah, they're the worst. I feel like if you were the Eldar, you could just make a psychic
vacuum cleaner or something that just scoops all the spores up. They had a lot of time on their
hands, they had psychic powers, they could have done something. They could do something.
That's the reason the orc never became Kroak again, because they need to fight to become Kroak.
You can't really fight a thunderstorm across the entire planet.
They also had help from the Necrons at the beginning stages, because they were fighting
them too. So we can't give the Eldar all the credit, because Necrons did dent them quite heavily,
and they disintegrated them. So yeah, I'm not giving that point to the Eldar completely.
God, tough crowd.
Before I sit here shaking in rage for the next 40 minutes, I'd like to pass it off to Hal
to explain what's about to start for a second time, albeit in a different form.
So it's a time of peace. The Eldar have been chilling. Sorry, the Eldari have been chilling.
And as I said in my previous section, peace never lasts. So this is now the beginning of the second
war in heaven. So this is a full on civil war between the gods of the Eldari. So the true reason
that this titanic, I guess, battle doesn't even quite really describe it. This titanic clash happens
like happens is because of one person's fault. And this is the Eldar God of prophecy and dreams.
Liliath. Liliath was-
Ever seen that coming?
The maidens be tripping dog.
My money was on gear.
We don't know what she did, but we know she ruined it.
She had side character energy. So Liliath was super power reduction.
Very much.
So Liliath was spurned by Kernos in favour of her mother, Isha.
This is some Game of Thrones stuff here.
Freud would be having a field day.
So this didn't go down well, shall we say it? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,
as the saying is. So Liliath, in her infinite wisdom, as she was obviously the god of prophecy
and dreams, decided to whisper to Cain where she supposedly foresaw a future where the Eldar
God himself was torn apart by the Eldari. She told Cain, knowing that he would take
vengeance upon the Eldar, because, well, let's just say she was out for blood and she wanted
to hurt everybody. The feelings of rejection are strong with this one. She did not take it well.
And Cain, as he is, he's a god of war, god of murder. He did exactly what was on the tin,
and he just started going ham. If that's the right way to say it, he just started going ham.
Ham of Cain.
Ham of Cain. Yeah, we're going to sell that soon. Please don't. So Cain went ham on the
mortal servants, the Eldari. And this caused Esha, the mother goddess of the Eldari,
the goddess of life, she started weeping. Literally a goddess was weeping as her children were dying.
And she went to Asurion, the king of the Eldar pantheon. And Asurion was, let's just say he was
having none of it. He did not treat it in a way which was, I need to endevine, he was just
disgusted with all of it. And so he decreed that no god shall ever be able to interact with the
material world again, and vice versa to prevent any kind of, any trickery, slaughter, anything.
He just wanted it all over. And so he crafted a barrier separating the gods from their mortal
followers, which as poor old Esha, the mother of the Eldari, which only made her more upset,
and she began to cry even harder, as now she could no longer talk to her children.
And I'll pass it off back to Colin for the next part.
I like to imagine before I move on that the first Eldari he killed, it was just some guy taking a
walk in the park thinking, what a wonderful day it is. And then he looked up and saw Cain rocking
him down with a steel chair. I just like the ending of that with Esha crying. So like,
yeah, basically, even the Eldar gods are crybabies. Fair enough. Okay.
You find a mom that is never allowed to talk to her kids again, that won't cry. And I'll show you
a liar. Anyway, he's here to be better. He's to marry a really nice guy in the end.
Anyway. So Esha and Kernos, the mother and father of the Eldar race, were still understandably
unhappy with this arrangement. And so cut off as they were from their children, these two parent
gods still found a way to talk to them. They requested they went to the craftsman god of the
Eldar, Val, or as he might be better known, Elphaphestus. And they asked him to make spirit
stones, which will come into play much later in the Eldar's history. But for now, this is just how
Esha and Kernos will talk to their children. Val was Esha's uncle, and he was too nice of an uncle.
He couldn't say no, so he made her these spirit stones. And at first, it was always going pretty
decently. The contact they had with their mortal children, it was in secret, no one found out.
But they got more and more confident, which became arrogance that no one's ever going to
found them out. And then sure enough, one day, Hubert Cain finds out that they're going behind
Assyrians and his back and talking to their kids. So Cain goes ballistic, goes to Assyrian.
Yeah, that's kind of his thing. He's the god of war. They generally have a one track mind, and
that track is murder. So he goes to Assyrian and says, hey, this is some garbage right here.
And Assyrian agrees. He says that even though they did this out of love, they still disobeyed him,
the king and the gods, and they're no longer under his protection. So Cain takes them and
torments them for an indefinite amount of time. During this time of which, Val was the only one
who felt bad for them. And he came to Cain with a deal. He said, Cain, I'm going to make you
100 swords, each of them better than the last and return, you got to let them go. Cain agrees,
but he only has a year to make these swords, which even for a god to make 100 swords, each of them
better than the last at a certain point, that just takes longer and longer to do. But Kurt Reval is
confident. He takes this on and he works day and night for a year straight, but he can only make
99 swords. The last one is left unfinished on the final day. So when Cain comes calling, it says,
hey man, where's my swords at? He slips a mortal sword in thinking that Cain won't be able to tell
the difference because he's a god of war, probably not terribly clever. Hopefully he won't call it
out. Which to be fair to Val, it does work at first and Isshin and Kernos are allowed to go free.
And then Cain gets to count and he goes, all right, one, one, two, three, four, wait a minute,
this one's, this one's awful. This one is a regular sword. So the moment he finds this out,
he goes to rage at Cain or he goes to rage at Val. He goes to slap Val silly, essentially.
Val wasn't, Val wasn't idle though. He, in the meantime, he knew that there was always the
possibility that Cain was going to find out. So he finishes that hundredth sword, Anaris,
and it's better than the rest. It is the best sword the galaxy has ever seen before or maybe
since. I will give you some credit, Andy, the emperor sword is quite baller.
I was just going to say, you know, he's got 99 swords, but the EMP's got one, hit me.
The EMP's does have one, but whether or not, at the time, at least, this is the best sword ever seen.
Can't believe we slipped that in.
I felt bridging the gap might be best, that if it doesn't work, I'm going to go back to being angry.
But to get back on track, Val is still a craftsman. This might be the best sword ever seen,
but he's not a warrior. And despite putting up a pretty good fight for someone who's just
a blacksmith, Cain strikes him down and chains him into his anvil for all eternity, which granted
is better than what Isshun Kurnos got, but still not great.
It's like a living hell where you're, I guess, the way you might have to understand it is,
imagine being chained to your work desk for all time. That's some people's personal hell.
Like being chained to an Xbox with no controller, like, I just want to play something.
Let me make something for fun. Make me more swords.
But while this was all going down, the other Eldar gods were taking note and, more importantly,
taking sides. And soon enough, every single one of them, but Assyrian, had chosen a side between
Cain and Val. And God fought God in something that had never before been seen or since. And this one
I will broke no debate on because in modern 40k, there's no fighting the chaos gods on their home
turf. At this point, it was the entire warp going at itself as God fought God. And it even spilled
over into the mortal land once more towards the end of the war in heaven, as there was a certain
mortal hero named Eldanesh and Eldar, as you could probably guess. He had fought in the war in heaven,
had fought quite valiantly, and was the Eldar's greatest hero. That being said, much like Val,
he's not a god of war. And at one point, he fought Cain. He even at some point, however,
he managed to do it, he'd gotten an Aris that 100 sword again and fought Cain.
Still didn't matter. Cain struck him down. And this was the final straw for Assyrian.
Because he had not taken sides, everyone involved still bowed down to him as the master. And when
between Cain killing a mortal after the separation had been decreed, Val being chained, Assyrian was
like, you're all done now. I'm done with this garbage. You all need to calm down. And so he said,
Very naughty boys. Pretty much what it was. You are all acting like children. And he said,
this is done. And to make matters a little bit more shameful for Cain, because he'd killed a mortal,
he'd cursed Cain. Now Cain for all time, and it sticks even to this modern day in Warhammer 40k,
he would drip blood from his hands so no one would forget what he had done, his slaughter of someone
so far beneath him. And he gained a title which, to be fair to Cain, this is just a metal title,
like this is not a bad part. This adds to him. It's spicy. Kayla Menchikain, Cain the Bloody
Handed God, which the bloody hands, maybe that's a bit embarrassing, but that title, I mean,
that's that's not something to be ashamed of. But either way, the war in heaven is over. And
there's a line that I would quite like you to read Andy, that I think sums up what the mortal
Eldar were up to at this point. Okay, then. The Eldar now cut off from their gods, but still with
the gifts they had already been given, such as the Webway, were now unchallenged once again,
not by their gods, not by any other races. No one. Yeah, except it. Yeah, and then humanity and then
bang, bang, bang. You know what? I'll give you credit. You gave that the really cool narrator
voice. Thank you. Very well done. Thank you. And speaking of, this was more or less the state of
affairs for 60 million years, which I'm going to get back to that time span later. You better not
forget it. But for now, the unchallenged Eldar ruled the galaxy. But a newcomer to the Galactic
stage was finally on their way. Humanity, also known as probably everyone listening to this,
unless there's something we don't know. Your lost in space, my dude. Yeah. Unless the Eldar are real
and listening in, then they might be unhappy. But of course, humanity was, you know, they were just
starting out in life. They would just only begun to evolve from apes and all that. This was the first
humans, homo erectus, that kind of humans. But nonetheless, humanity is well on their way. And
and to go back to an earlier point, how why don't you? Why don't you let us know what humanity
immediately got up to? So this is where we join the timeline about 500,000 years ago. And this is,
and it's almost impossible to describe how important this moment is for the entire
modern timeline, particularly, and even the Horus heresy timeline for Warhammer. 500,000 years ago
is, as we had discussed earlier, it was the first murder by a single human. This is the first time
that humanity has made a choice. And a choice that is in it is not survival. It's not anything
other than it is an evil choice. And this creates the first ever demon in the warp, the first,
what we call a recognizable form of an actual demon, the enemy of all sentient life. And this
is called Draknien. This is, it's, yeah, Draknien itself is an antithesis to humanity. Its name
means end of empires. So it is completely tied to humanity itself. It is just about any progress we
make, anything we do, we always build empires. And there is Draknien, the ender of empires.
He will follow us no matter how long humanity lives to the end of time, because he is a creation
of our very first sin, shall we say. And I'll pass this back over to Colin.
Colin Sinclair Yeah, I kind of wish someone cooler had the sword now.
Jason Vale Spoilers, spoilers.
Adam Backman Spoilers for the armless failure to come.
Uh, shout out, shout out by the way to human Cain for that one. Thanks a lot for that first demon.
Jason Vale Pain. And then he became a vampire. But that's an entirely different settings. So
I will move on. So after this first demon humanity begins, despite that little oopsie developing,
they, you know, develop farming, iron, pointy sticks to hurt each other with, which not the
most glamorous start, but hey, everyone starts somewhere. And if nothing else, this encompasses
the Romans and the Romans were cool. So human humans are already getting up to some good stuff.
But something substantial on the galactic stage was coming pretty soon. It is believed by many
that the future God Emperor of mankind was born in the year 8000 BCE. Because even this early in
the development mankind had shamans or psychers and all that name. But around this time, they
were having some trouble interacting with the spiritual world and found out they couldn't
reincarnate themselves because the demon would eat them before they could do it or an enslaver or
something nasty in the warp. And then one final act of defiance. What else do they do but kill
themselves? Which might sound a little bit whack at first, but this is Warhammer 40k because they
all did it at once in some supreme ritual. Their souls merged into one being the pinnacle of
humanity whose power is such that it possibly rivals the old ones themselves. He would become
the God Emperor of mankind in due time, but for now, that's not his role. Sometimes-
He's just some bloke named Steve. But I mean, it's just quite impressive that Eldar had all
these gods given all this stuff and had these empires and it's like us, just a few suicides.
Already, we've got one of the most powerful things ever. Awesome. And we only had a few sticks to do
it with. Perfect. That's one way to look at it. I look at it as the Eldar didn't need to kill
themselves to make a god. They could just do it. Wow. No one gets the silver spoon straight away.
To be fair, he is not the God Emperor of mankind yet.
Yet. Indeed. But he will be.
He will be. But for now, even to give Biggie his credit, future Biggie his credit,
he guides humanity throughout the ages, sometimes as one of their greatest figures.
For instance, given the Imperium's obsession with Latin or High Gothic, I suppose,
there's pretty decent odds Julius Caesar was in fact the future emperor. Other times though,
he took more of a background role. He was channeling his side character energy,
be that a background scientist helping someone else make a great discovery or just a simple
man doing his best to help out the rest of mankind. And eventually mankind would reach
the stars. And this is when the Emperor's work truly began. But that is a story we will get to
later. I assure you. Early on, to get back to humanity, before we get back to the best race,
they developed FTL travel. But it was, or pardon me, they developed space travel, but it was limited
to sublight speeds. Travel took decades or more in these massive colony ships. And because of that
growth was slow as all get out. Useless. Pretty much. I believe it's four years.
How long have they had for this? And humanity's already now starting to become a player in the
big game and they're like, we've been around millions of years, we've just sorted this out
and it's not even good. It's not quite... Yeah, it's not quite implied how long it took the
other races, but for particularly if you're a new to Warhammer as well, it's a sort of a,
there is a kind of mimicry of how we are almost similar to the Necrons in a way where we follow
a similar path of potentially over millennia. We eventually developed a kind of a very slow
form of travel. So there's much less radiation poisoning and you know,
yeah, we human, the sun is not space cancer. And I like to think that while the Elder are still
figuring out the space stuff, the Orcs are just like put down there, down there, oh I can travel
planning. The interesting part is it is entirely lost to time how quickly the Elder became space
faring. It's heavily implied the old ones were very hands-on in their early creation. So they
may have actually, I had to give a point to Colin, they may have actually had it almost much faster
than humanity ever did, although they probably had some help. Essentially, we need you in space
right now. Here's a spaceship, go for a lightning at that robot. There were kind of bubble wrap
parents. They were like, right, we'll give you space travel and the psychic powers and all this
stuff. Oh, it's okay. Don't worry. You didn't learn it. Just have it. Yeah. Damn, it's a tough crowd.
I'm just saying how it is, you know. Yeah. All right, buddy. Anyways, with the Warp Tribe's
invention in the 18th millennium, which if my millennial dating is correct, would be the 17
thousands years, travel was cut down. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but this is
when it happened. Travel went from years to weeks or even days and humanity, much like the Necrons
did, exploded across the galaxy, coming into contact with countless alien races that had sprung
up since the war in heaven's ending, allowed life to develop on its own again without robots or space
for our gods ruining everything for some poor alien race. So luckily for the burgeoning human race,
the Eldarii saw no need to intervene in the civilization's doings. Their lives were so perfect
and their mastery of the galaxy unchallenged by this, even at this point, they had essentially
drawn themselves inwards. There was no reason for them to intervene because if they tried to start
something, the Eldar would snap their fingers and then their sun would explode. So mankind developed
unabated. And additionally, someone, if you're only a little bit familiar with Warhammer, you might go,
why is humanity making friends with these people? They hate aliens. At this point in history,
not the case. Mankind, if anything, was excited to meet all the aliens they could and make friends
with them. So ultimately there was no reason for any genocidal scale fighting to occur. Yet.
Yet. Big yet. Big yet. This still does turn into 40k. So it's a big yet. Thank the emperor.
And speaking of yet, ever since the war in heaven, the war, even though it had calmed down a bit,
was still a very violent place to be in. While the Eldar and their gods could interact with it
with impunity in the corners of on reality, three horrible dark beings finally came into being.
This million zero war, the war in heaven was of such magnitude that in the dawn of mankind,
it only took the final shove of humanity, their emotions to create these three gods of chaos.
Quite frankly, it's likely that these beings would have still come into being without mankind,
but human history is the easiest way to mark their births. So for the first one hell,
why don't you let us know who he was? So as we talked about in the beginner section,
it was during the medieval period of humanity that we had the birth of corn, the god of war
and bloodshed. His ascension was, it's almost, I liked the phrasing. I once heard a quote,
which I always liked, which is, it's such a quiet thing to fall. And the kind of the coalescence of
these dark gods, it's no notice taken of it, but yet it's like an awful seed planted. And corn
himself is just absolutely, he is the embodiment of, particularly in our own minds, is a reflection
of just murder, war, bloodshed. He is martial combat on the field. He is strength personified.
He is war itself. And as we unfortunately may know with humanity, we have never been able to quite
separate ourselves from war. It's actually thought that the first demon prince, funny enough,
in Warhammer history might have actually been Genghis Khan himself. It's not hard to understand
why, but yeah. So corn is the birth of, it encompasses word perfectly of chaos. He is a chaotic,
evil, terrible creation, and it is now with us. And I'll pass it back to Colin for the next chaos
con. Before you say anything, I just had a really like, imagine if demon prince Genghis Khan met
Jagatai Khan. That would be interesting. I could have a big fight with swords.
That'd be real nice. See who's-
It's like Khan?
Khan?
Smash, smash, smash.
Look at the good Kong's face.
Who's the real master of rapid warfare? Demon horses or jet bikes.
Sounds kind of cool actually, to be fair.
That does, but for now it is the time of the next god, Nurgle, the god of despair and pestilence.
Though he's also the god of acceptance of times to come, the endurance required to make it through
hardship with a smile on your face. He came about during the Black Death and the years to follow,
as that plague ravaged all quarters of the earth from Europe to the Americas.
And as a quick side note to every sophomore history student about to go correct me in the comments,
I am aware the Black Death did not reach America, but plague took out about 90% of the Native
Americans, so it still counts. Okay? Thank you very much. Back to Hal for the last god and my history.
Yeah, so this is the birth of the third god of chaos. This is the birth of Zinch.
Yuck.
Yuck. Yeah, so he supposedly arrived during the Renaissance era. And Zinch himself is the changer
of ways. He is the god of magic, scheming, ambition, hope of a better future. He knows every
single future and yet he knows none of the futures. He is plot incarnate himself. And he is a
perversion, shall we say, of our most enlightened thinking. He is that little voice in the back of
your head saying that always could be more. He is awful and yet even his imagery is chaotic, evil,
and frightening himself. And I'll pass it back to Colin as we talk about humanity a bit more.
So as you probably noticed, it's mostly been the Eldar, but as humanity will get their own
episode later. But to mostly wrap up with them, in the 7,000 years to follow until the middle of the
25th millennium, humanity had their golden age. There was conflict every now and then against
Zenos, but nothing that mankind couldn't handle. Every race that was defeated was
defeated fairly soundly. But instead of being exterminated, they were forced into a galactic
federation. Mankind, even against enemies that wanted them dead, was, depending on your viewpoint,
either kind enough or naive enough to not just wipe them out. But as everything does, all good
things must come to an end. And around the 25th millennium, the age of strife began and humanity's
collective federation ended, mankind's prominence only to come thousands of years later.
By the 30th millennium, humanity was a little better than squabbling disparate planets isolated
from one another as it suffered a near complete collapse of governance, technology, and culture.
But for now, we get back to the Eldar. Now, I know, Hal, you said it was a quick rise and fall,
but I want to dwell on that time span they had for a moment. 60 million years of complete dominance
of the galaxy. You could say, yes, there's decent chances that a lot of that happened because the
old one gave them what they needed. But for 60 million years, they did not misstep once.
They did not ruin the galaxy. They did not corrupt it. They ruled it perfectly, essentially.
Other races developed on their own. The other races were allowed to develop on their own.
They did not ruin them. They did not in any way stop that unless the race decided to wage war on
them, whereupon that race vanished. And all that occurred in the interim between the war in heaven
and the Imperium, humanity's expansion included, occurred because they either allowed it to,
or they couldn't be bothered to stop it because it was so beneath their time they would need a
microscope. They served stars in their past time. Worlds were seated to be a paradise.
Millions of years later, through bioengineering, to suit the elders, every whim and want,
felt the need for any development. They could go in that world, and it's basically heaven.
And on top of this, upon death, their souls, but not their memories, would reincarnate to
experience the world anew, after a brief stay in the warp, of course, to enjoy heaven because,
I don't know who wouldn't want to be in heaven for a bit. It's heaven.
It's a nice holiday. Like, you know, getting a quick break.
For the elder, the afterlife was basically a holiday before they get back at it.
Yeah, just got back from that life, brother. Oh, that was a long one.
How long did it take them to learn how to space travel again? Just 60 million years
they've been around. They have space traveled all of those 60 million years,
both through the warp and the webway. I don't know, they literally were given
God mode, reincarnation mode, infinite lives. They were given so many cheat codes to start with.
I'm not surprised. Humanity, 15 million. They're like, right, we're going to be a match one day.
And we only needed like 40 million years, or 30 million, 30 million, 30,000 years from like,
yeah, that's quite a difference. You know, that's what like, hold on, divide 60 million by 30,000.
It's a lot. It's a lot of difference.
Had it not been for one key thing I'll get to, humanity would have been squashed.
But we will get to that. Anyway, they surfed, I already said that, pardon me.
I was repeating myself and my indignity over this.
Basically just poking him with a stick every five minutes.
The elder, something else very important to know about them, because it explains why exactly they
fell, is that they experienced emotion and the world at a level that would drive anyone else
insane. The height of pleasure and the depths of despair a human can feel is nothing to an Eldar.
They can still feel, you know, mildly annoyed, but their capacity for love, for rage, for depression
is far beyond anything any other race can feel.
And by this point, after 60 million years of unchallenged rule, the war in heaven, the divine
one that was literally in heaven, from Isha's tears to the slaughter of their kind by Cain had
went from a fresh memory to something they barely remember, a long forgotten myth.
Even in their long lives, 60 million years is a bit of a time. But all of this emotional experience
they could feel, their rulership, it came with a cost. It may have taken millions of years to be
paid, but once it was, it would rip the galaxy asunder for all time. To really quickly just talk
about them for a bit more. I'm sorry, I just can't help myself.
This is the Eldar.
This is my time.
And Andy needs to suffer through this part.
I'll have plenty of suffering later on.
Oh yeah.
But their cities were all works of art, dictated by the whims of those in it. Their lives were so
for so long, dominated by their whims rather than a need that meant each Eldar city was
dictated by the masses. Their buildings were a mix of both natural and alien architecture that
by all rights shouldn't exist. But between their mastery of science and the psychic world, it did.
And their empire held treasures beyond imagining, to the point that even nowadays,
we're going to former Eldar worlds is a great way to lose your soul. Craftworld Eldar still
mount expeditions to claim those lost treasures, risking their very souls. For example, devices
that can just kidnap a star from its system it's in and take it somewhere else, and weapons
capable of causing psychic plagues that can only be cured when the person who started it feels it's
time to stop it are just a few of the examples of their utterly insane technology.
That's, I mean, you can't almost, you cannot really fathom that level of just power, raw.
The one with the psychic plague one is kind of really dark in a way. I love that grim dark
aspect of it just being up to the whim of the person using it, which is an Eldar. So you know
it's probably ultimate levels of pettiness too. Yeah, it's essentially hope you didn't make that
man angry because otherwise your entire planet now has super cholera, and it's only going to stop
when he decides I think you've had enough. He's given your planet crabs and joy.
But even this mighty empire must come to an end and beginning around the fourth and 25th millennia,
mirroring humanity's own fall, cults of pleasure began to form the Eldar Empire.
After all these millions of years of enjoying the universe, not feeling any sort of spiritual
corruption, they had finally grown bored. They had everything. They had done everything. There
was nothing left they felt the material world had to offer them. And from this sense of boredom,
which again, remember what I said about the emotions, the most bored you've ever felt would
be an elder like, yeah, it gets a bit of a slow, slow day, I guess. This was a boredom that set
into their very souls. And that's how these cults of pleasure set up. They advocated not just
enjoying the fruits of their labor, what they had earned and inherited, but to see just what they
can get up to. And for that reason, in the span of only a few thousand years, this million year old
empire rapidly had a moral degradation take place within them. And to give them still some credit,
at first, it was something that admittedly, even most humans are prone to. And with that, Eli,
I know you're a big fan of Slaanesh. Yeah, we have something to read. I think there's a quote
I'd quite like you to read. I would like the kind, lovely Eli. Okay. A get together with friends
turned into the single most legendary cocaine fuels party you've ever been to. The elder
frequently did the sex. P in the end, I will add. Such things, arguably, were not the worst thing
to happen. I mean, who doesn't love a good bender, but it all got worse. It got bloody.
Thank you very much. I thought you said the official Codex quote right there.
Yeah, I pulled it out from the seventh edition. That's called a law crime.
Maybe making Eli read it too, because you're so nice.
The war crimes are going to get worse in a moment. But, you know, like I said, even at first,
it was like, you know, it's, you know, some DJ and stuff, but nothing that, you know, people don't
get up to. But then it got worse. Now, to be fair with you, none of this is explicitly stated.
But it is simply said that the elder reached new and new heights of degeneracy every day.
So I took some creative liberties, shall we say it?
The cocaine parties started getting cut with elder blood.
Oh, the sex turned into murdering your lover and then probably eating him. And since the elder
reincarnate, he could return the favor once he's back.
Torture of fellow elder became the dominant art form of elder society. And towards the end,
it said that rivers of blood ran through the streets of the elder empire as elder turned on
elder and their quest to experience the height of pleasure.
They make the Emperor's children look tame, basically.
Yeah, basically. Pretty much. And towards the end of even all this, all of that became mundane and
they pushed themselves further and further. They figured this whole time, we're immune to anything,
any consequences, there will be none. And at that point, who could blame them? This is coming off
of 60 million years of anything that tried to fight them or in any way challenged them, just
getting control deleted from existence. They had no needs. They were post-scarcity in every way. And
in the web way of the old ones, for those who are wondering when I would bring these fellas up,
those elder who committed deeds too dark for even the rest of the race, which dear God, imagine that,
gathered in hidden realms to push this depravity even further heights.
But for a race as powerful and psychic matters as the elder, the consequences in the warp were only
getting worse and worse, though they didn't know it yet. The elder gods themselves, having been
deprived of their worship, were deprived of their power and so could not prevent what was coming.
Cain was angry as he always is, but angrier than usual. He went from a 10 to 11 in this case,
and angry. Esha wept, which again, what else is new if he's at a 10 to 11, the crying.
And Assyrian, once again, as he does, simply was like, well,
can't deal with this. I'm going to just turn away. And worse of all, a new God was beginning to form,
one whose gestation drove the Eldar to greater heights of degeneracy, furthering the cycle.
Hal, why don't you let us know who was born?
So within the Warhammer universe, there are consequences for every emotion, feeling and
anything that is related to sentience, it unfortunately has a mirror within the warp.
And so every time that I've been poking Colin, he's been adding to the power of Cain gradually.
I've been adding to the power of Cain.
Oh, Cain.
Okay.
Okay. So for the Eldari, the worst was now at their doorstep. So all that they had done,
all that they had become, it was not consequence free. And so around the 30th millennium of our
human calendar, because the Eldari went back a lot further, all of this excess, this depravity,
this just absolute stomach churning acts and these stomach churning feelings as well,
their emotions in the warp, it finally started to coalesce. And just as we had three different
gods of chaos, a new god of chaos was born. Slanesh, the god of...
Woo.
Yes.
The god of pleasure.
Woo for me, buddy.
You guys are finally here.
The prescient chief of that. Slanesh is the god of pleasure and excess. It is a he, it is a she,
it is all things far and in between. It is Eldari in its imagery. It is just the most horrifying
thing you can imagine. And Slanesh's birth is not a quiet thing. It is so apocalyptically damaging
to the Warhammer universe that the scars remain even to the 40th millennium.
It ripped a hole in space.
Yes, with the eye of terror. And this explosion of this new god, it is a tide of corruption,
of flesh, of demons. And it washes over the entirety of the Eldari empire.
People, the Eldari themselves, are almost gone in an instant. An entire race, trillions upon trillions,
maybe not trillions, but billions upon billions of Eldari.
I'd say trillions.
I'd say trillions is fair. But all their hopes, their dreams,
anything redeeming about them is essentially washed over by their own sins. And this new
god Slanesh is born a monument to the sins. A little halo reference, everyone enjoyed that.
Very much.
So I pass it back to Colin for the consequences of this birth.
So a few of the Eldar did manage to either get away or avoid it entirely, depending on where they
were. Those who had managed to get away in the craft worlds, or yeah, the Eldar craft worlds,
which to once again boost my Eldar ego, were called primitives by their fellows, which just
for context, a magical spaceship the size of a planet was primitive for them. Just, you know,
there's someone else for you to chew on for a bit. Those who got away in time were free from
Slanesh's birth. They had taken pretty much all of the bits of Eldar culture they could with them.
Plants and animals or relics you can never create again. And everyone they could fit onto the craft
worlds that was willing to go, they took and got out of dodge as quick as they could. Others who
would flood a bit earlier went to the maiden worlds, which were those planets the Eldar had
seeded ages ago. And they became the Exodite Eldar. And those who were the worst of all,
which is again really saying something, welled in the dark city of Kamara and became the dark Eldar.
They were sheltered from Slanesh's birth in the Webway, since it's its own little sub-dimension
highway tunnel thing. All others were instantly devoured into the maw of Slanesh to be tormented
and feasted upon for all of eternity. He's too happy about that, I swear. I know he is.
Conveniently skipping over its one Eldar three mankind, but no, it's okay. It's okay. We can
skip over that. They were behind the big wall that was ripped in the universe by the Eldar.
I'm just saying. They were kind of tucked away a bit. A little bit. Back to the Eldar though.
Their gods, just because they're gods, didn't mean they were free from this.
Nearly all of them too were consumed alongside their children. Asurion, the king, had one final
noble act for his people, gave what of his power he could to the Eldar survivors, making them even
more psychic. But in the end, he too was devoured. Only three of them managed to avoid the initial
slaughter. Kegarak, or Kakarot, or whatever you'd like to call him. Yeah, Sheogorath.
Goku Drip God.
Queenie McQueen face.
The Prime Clown. The laughing god of the Eldar, for a bit more formal title. He fled. He saw that
it was going south. He wanted nothing to do with this. He was like, I'm out. Have fun everyone else.
I'm going to the webway. Isha, the goddess of life, sat there crying. For some reason,
he ate her right away. Probably saved her for last because he's like, no, that's not a threat I need
to worry about. Was actually rescued from Slyneash by Nergal. Though, given that he's also a chaos
god, rescue might be a bit of a strong word, but he's not. He happens as Peach and he was Bowser.
They're happily married now. What are you talking about? Yeah, sure. She was trying something
different, which was crying. She's not stuck with Slyneash, which is, which at this point is a W.
A much worse fate, let's be honest. And Mighty Kane alone stood against Slyneash. And though he
was unable to defeat him, her, she who thirsts as the elder calls Slyneash, Kane in turn held up to
her and they were caught in a divine stalemate until someone with a vaguely similar name. The
first chaos, God Korn decided he's got other plans in mind for the bloody handed. Since Kane is also
a god of war, Korn said that Kane is his property. Since he's an elder, God Slyneash says that he was
hers. He was caught as he was between these two divine powers, Kane shattered. And this made it
even worse for the Eldar because the last full God they have that was involved is now shattered into
pieces. And all those, however many bits of him there were spread throughout the nation, craft
were broken. And the Eldar was just a little bit of a mess. And he was just a little bit of a
mess. However many bits of him there were spread throughout the nation, craft worlds and drove
many of the Eldar survivors to violent insanity as the God of War took root in their home.
So they got out of Dodge of Slyneash and then Kane comes back in with the steel chair for the second
time in history and makes them all nuts. And funnily enough to go back to something earlier,
in a way, Lillia's prophecy finally became true. Kane was shattered by the mortal Eldar's actions.
So no one really saw it coming this way. And to make it worse of them, worse for the Eldar,
whenever they died, they didn't just reincarnate and then chill out with their gods for a while.
Now they're pulled straight into Slyneash's waiting embrace because much like the Ketan
found souls quite tasty, Slyneash finds Eldar just delicious. The finest KFC you've ever had
in your life. And worse for everyone, Eldar included, but this one actually affects everyone
else. When Slyneash was born, the very fabric of reality just couldn't handle it. And in what was
once the heart of the Eldar Empire, reality and the Morpht were merged, not warged, forming the
Eye of Terror, a gateway to the warps spilling out into reality where planets and beings of nightmare
now existed, where the once great Eldar homeworlds once did. And with that, the galaxy is probably
in the worst shape it's ever been. Thanks Eldar. Thank you everyone. No, thank you Necrons. We can
all blame this back on the Necrons. I love the Chaos Gods as a kind of byproduct for humanity
during this whole kerfuffle. They basically all just barfed in Synthia's spend. Yoink. Like Nurgle,
I'm having her. Cain's just like, Korn's just like, I'm having him. Just like, oh, this is our time
to just have something. I'll just nick that. Yeah, it's fine. They're very market. Yeah.
Yeah. Very. Just watching gang. Going to the Eldar barbecue. I like to imagine
Zeench wanted Kegarack since they're both scheme-y fellas. But the Clown God, the Clown God, it was
too smart. He's like, no, no, not gonna involve everyone. I'm out. No way. Oh, thanks. But though
everything was a bit messy, to say the least, there was light of the tunnel for everyone.
Although the Eldar were fractured, they managed to weather the storm. The craft world developed
methods to keep their souls safe from Slyneash. Those spirit stones come in handy again.
And they formed the path system, as it would come to be known as, to keep their extreme emotions in
check so that never again could they fall to these depths of emotion. The Exodites would pass into
their maiden world spirit upon death because they're wood elves and live in trees. And of course,
they die in trees too. Ted Kaczynski elves. Can we get a picture of Ted with pointy ears?
You have to keep in mind that pollution and its consequences have been a disaster to Eldar kind.
If you want to commission that artwork.
You know, it's a little bit more savage than I'd like. And to get back to things being bad,
though not for these, this group of Eldar, those who would continue on their damned path,
because when you create a God that eats all of your race, what else do you do but double down?
They were safe in the webway from the worst effects and found ways to repair their souls
through the suffering of others. And this next sentence is going to hurt me to say,
so Andy, please keep your gloating until I'm done in. I beg of you. I'm sure you are.
Though the story of the Eldar does not end here, the focus of the Galactic Stage was shifting
after 60 million years. Just read her in. The birth of Sinesh, while it meant that warp travel
was impossible for the Eldar, because she would just eat them if they went in there,
had finally rid the galaxy of the warp storms that had made FTL travel impossible.
This led to the second rise of a species, long due its dominance of the galaxy,
mankind with the Emperor leading the charge. And that was the fall of the Eldar,
the longest running empire, the rise and fall. Yes. Thank you.
Don't forget the rise part. Of course. Everyone else did. They certainly didn't.
Are there any questions you two wonderful listeners have?
Is there any more poking with the stick?
Eli, anything? I haven't got a question, but there's something else I might just mention.
But, uh, just digesting all of that. There was a lot to be fair.
Entire race is history. A quick 60 million year long history lecture.
You did very well at telling it.
It would be nice to have more Exodite Eldar focus. I don't think Games Workshop really
ever talks about them often, do they? It would. And I know this is 40k, but it
really bothers me because the Wood Elves are really cool and also absolutely psychotic.
Yep. They're awesome. But there's no Exodite lore. There is Exodite lore. I can tell you
it all right now. Here's a quick bonus. The Exodites are there. Someone is killing them.
Help save them. The end. There's your quick bonus episode.
They make a short appearance in the Infinite and the Divine
book series with Trezin. And they're an excuse to put your
elder models on dinosaurs. That is very true.
Well, thank you all very much for listening. Make sure to like and subscribe. Put in the
comments section any sort of questions you have or maybe your favourite piece,
maybe a favourite comment one of us made. Hopefully nothing too rude.
Before we end, is there anything I should mention? I didn't have any questions, but
I did have one thing which I thought was kind of interesting hearing Colin talking about it
and Hal as well. It's interesting to see how the three big players, quote, the Necrons,
Eldar and Humanity all had different outcomes, which all kind of went the same way. The Necron
had nothing and they had the worst situation, still had a really, really tough time. Eldar, given
everything. And they did it right for a while and they still messed it up. And then like Humanity's
in that middle ground where they didn't have much, but they have more than the Necrons.
And they had way less than the Eldar. And they had a galaxy was kind of at peace by the time
they got started. But then they had like the scrounges of the universe. It's like, oh, we
found all this stuff that other people left here. And then it's like, oh, that's not cool. That big
Eye of Terror, that's kind of annoying and scary. That's a bit rough. Look at this pylon from the
Necrons. Thank you. And yeah, I found that quite interesting. I think it's a theme within Warhammer
of Pyrrhic victory. You kind of win, but you have lost nearly everything. I'd say congratulations.
You barely made it through. Good job. Yeah. It's a good job interview you come out of and your
entire like suit is destroyed. One of your shoes is on fire, but still.
Pain. Thank you all for listening, for watching. Make sure again, like and subscribe if you enjoyed
it. Any suggestions for topics is welcome as well. We love to hear, you know, whatever you guys want
to hear or anything, if you're new to Warhammer, any topics you think, wow, that's really interesting
to me. You know, we'd love to give it a go. So thank you all very much for listening. Thank you.
Thank you. Take care everyone. Take care. Thank you.
Bye.