Hello, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
and welcome to Lore Crimes. It's us. Hello, everyone.
Hoping you're having a very good day. And we're
doing something a bit different today, aren't
we? What are we doing, Colin? What are we doing
today? I don't know what's happening. Warhammer
characters and making them D &D classes. Because,
you know, I've been playing D &D a lot lately.
And, you know. I'll get the plug out of the way
early, Andy, so we can move on swiftly. I got
the D &D channel. Dungeons of No Work. Go look
at it. You got to do a bit more than that, Cal.
What character have you been playing recently?
I'm playing a gnome necromantic wizard. Wow.
I'm either going to end up as... Well, there's
two paths for him, right? He's either going to
be Gnombert Wesker. Because, you know, technically
that's... No solid. No, like Albert Wesker, come
on. What do you mean no solid? He's just a real
bastard, that's what I mean. Oh, I mean, you
know, morally ambiguous. Or he's going to be
the Uncle Ruckus of Liches. Don't trust those
gnomes over there. No, no. There he is, guard.
There's that undead stinking up this fine living
neighborhood. hates all the other necromancers
as well. Oh, yeah. Wow. There's two choices I
had. It depends on what the DM gives me first.
Yeah. So for all the audio listeners, of course,
today's a tier list. We're going to be making
your favorite faction leaders, Warhammer 40k
and Warhammer Fantasy, and we're going to put
them into their respective D &D classes. As always,
guys, if you want to catch the live stuff on
our channel, join our discord so you can see
all the you know funny notifications so funny
donations where people make fun of our hairlines
and all that fun stuff and of course we're on
spotify and all that good stuff online if you
want to check us out there today though i think
we're going to start big and bold though because
we're going to start who's the first one on the
list andy we've got well i i've not finished
adding characters because i'm not going to lie
the pc had a bit of a hissy fit but I have got
the 20 Primarchs, a few Xenos, and Valdo. I love
Valdo. So, like, we've got a bunch of them to
start with. So I've just ordered all the Primarchs
in the number order because, you know, I'm neat
and tidy like that. But before we start, would
it make sense, Colin, because I'm not going to
lie, I don't know much of the difference between,
like, a Barbarian and a Fighter. So would you
mind giving us, like, a very, like... succinct
rundown of like what makes each class different
or what's their thing just so we're not like
because again if you say oh this character go
i think he's a barbarian you go he's clearly
a fighter i won't know what you mean we're also
not going to do subclasses within that otherwise
no no because there was way too hard there's
also kind of more classes but like there's this
we're doing the classics the big names because
there's already the fifth edition classics but
uh all right so andy you know gonna be mostly
for you let me give you the rundown right barbarian
strength character and mostly you can occasionally
you can you know other stats come up and it's
mostly strength you're just so goddamn angry
that you can't die and you hit real hard you
can't die that seems like a power so you're the
party tank you can rage fighter is oh yeah you
can rage and then you just don't die unless the
enemy has a wizard then you then you you're not
really any better or also a mass question that's
that's the real or does that that one kind of
really properly does you in wisdom is bad wisdom
yeah you meant no mental okay uh fighter You
know the Elder Scrolls trailer where the one
knight is just bodying those other three bozos?
That. Okay. Oh, what's his name? He's like part
of a secret group or something. But the thing
is, every time I see that thing in the shorts,
it's like, and then he gets them all. But it
doesn't show you the bit where they then, at
the end, just like bullshit, we got him in the
end. And they're like, that's not fair. Yeah.
That's because no one cares about that part.
I'm here to watch the knight do kick -ass things.
Also, I think that guy's secretly a druid or
something, but again, who cares? Not my Elder
Scrolls Online. He wouldn't dare. Monk is Kung
Fu Man. Yeah, not Avatar The Last Airbender.
This is hand -to -hand. You can sometimes maybe
squeeze a little bit of that in, a little bit
of Dragon Ball in, but you know, it's... It is
mostly you are Kung Fu, man. Don't squeeze my
monk. I'm monking it. Rogue is, you're a thief.
Okay. Sneaky guy. But not a ranger who likes
bows? No, a ranger is like Aragorn, but Aragorn
when he's Strider. But is he like, so a rogue
is like, I'll slit your throat, but a ranger
is like, I'll shoot you with an arrow? rogue
is like sneak attacks lots of sneakers yeah like
properly stealthy bastard ranger is a get like
you you know you're a little naturalist kind
of guy but you know like you know like you're
you're not a wild man but you know like you're
like do you ever read ranger's apprentice okay
no no all right ranger yeah you usually use a
bow you don't have to you can use swords and
stuff but it's more like you know you've got
You're good for tracking, specialized targets,
stuff like that. Because I remember the Baldur's
Gate, not that one, where it was like, you play
as a dwarf, you play as a ranger, you play as
a sorceress, and if you get the code, you play
as Dritz, and he's better than all three. He
was a ranger, if I remember correctly. And he's
just like, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. And then
the dwarf is chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. And
the mage is like, ooh. I'm a wizard. Yeah. Sorcerer.
Sorcerer is like... You got magic in your blood.
You don't need to practice how to do it. You
just, like, are innately magical. Druid. Yeah.
Druid is, you know, like, you know, I mean, like,
druid, like nature magic. You know, you probably
live in the woods. You're probably a little dirty,
but also, you know, the trees are coming to strangle
you alive if you piss off the druid. And you
can turn into a bear. Gwydion and the druid.
Or an owlbear. That is the... Owlbear. Oh, owlbear
as a whole. Bunch of memes about it, doesn't
it? I've heard of that. The people love the owl
bear. It's not like that crazy, I think, indeed.
It's not like that crazy, but... I had my Captain
America... I know that reference. Wizard is...
If you need me to tell you what a wizard is,
man, we have bigger problems. Harry Potter. It's
a wizard. You gotta learn how to do the magic.
You're a wizard, Harry. You're a hairy wizard.
I'm a what? Okay. Bard is kind of magic. You
sing a song or you do something artistic and
you magically buff people. Also, you know, the
obvious joke is you're a man -whore. It's more
of a support class. It buffs everyone else, yeah.
You can give people advantage on their attacks
or saves. Where'd Paladin go? Did we skip it?
Oh, there's no Paladin? Oh, I must have forgotten
that. There's a lot of stuff here that's going
to get a little awkward. Paladin. Paladin. Yeah.
Cleric is, you know, Paladin first. Paladin is,
you know, the Dave's Vault. You use the Divine
Wrath to beat people up. And Cleric is like that,
but more like healing. Okay. You use Divine Wrath
to patch up your friend's boo -boos. You can
still do a little bit of everything. They still
hit people good, too. Okay. Question. I think
I've added more or less everyone to the list.
Do we want to put the Emperor in, or is that
just like, don't worry about him? No, because
he's all of them. He's all of them, and then
also God. So that one seems a little bit... We've
got Elves, we've got Orc, we've got Necron, we've
got Tau, we've got Tyranid. I think we've got
the whole... Oh, we'll put in a Dwarf. Why not?
We'll put in a Votan. Why not? We will be doing
Fantasy as well, people. Is that just on a different
tab, Andy? Eh? Is the Fantasy just on a different
tab? Oh, sorry. I haven't added them. Let me
just put them all now. I did download them all.
There we go. That's done. Good mention. Zam.
Fantasy or 40k, guys? We could just go from left
to right. I was going to say, should we start
with Warhammer 40k? Because then I'll get a sense
of what the classes are by our discussion. And
then when we get to Fantasy, I'll be like, it's
up to you, boys. The Lion. The Lion. Not a bard.
No, no. He's not quite Paladin, I think. He could
be Ranger. I feel like Ranger does kind of work
for him. He... I don't know, like, he's in a
weird mix of, like, he's technically in the 40k
a bit of druid as well, because he has, like,
the forest walk thing. I see, that's why I'd
say he'd be Ranger, though, because, you know,
he's all about, like, hunting, you know, he's,
like, he's not the executioner, but, you know,
he's the hunts you down on Caliban, you know,
hunted the monsters, hunts Conrad Carter. I feel
like Ranger works for him pretty well, actually.
Yeah, that's actually... yeah fighters fighters
the easy one but he is kind of like he does a
lot of things that i feel like a ranger would
be doing like you know he's got his specialized
terrain he can hunt you in he's good when in
a forest you are he is the demon in the forest
i think that's a good uh that's a good place
to go and put him as well is that oh well puckish
this is difficult because He's kind of a whore.
He's kind of a bard, technically. No, no. That's
too easy of a bit. I would say fighter. Because
he's a duelist? No, he doesn't need his own category.
I think he's technically a fighter. And fighter
in D &D is kind of an all -rounder. That's the
thing. Or you can specialize in a lot of ways.
He specializes in dueling, I guess. No, not as
much as other Primarchs, but he doesn't fit as
well into other categories as much as Fighter,
do you think? I mean, he fits Fighter more than
anything. Duel guy. Hmm. We had a compelling
argument. Bards are about art. He is a bard.
College of Swords. Discuss? That's actually not
bad. Let us not forget his legion smearing poo
on the walls during the horror spot. It's my
art, Dad! Get out of my room! I mean, he's known
for the fact that he's not known for being a
duelist, to be fair. He does do it. And even
Felix, Felix from Gotrek and Felix, he's like,
what's the guy from Witcher? The Bard. Dandelion.
Dandelion. I always think of Dandelion when I
think of Felix from Godric and Felix. Is that
like a fair piece? Yeah, that'd be fair. It's
also occurring to me now, Andy, that I didn't
send you Godric and Felix. I was trying to be
really subtle, but... They're not faction leaders
to you. I also added Lewin here because Mike
is in the chat. I'm like, oh, he's a good lad.
I'll put him there. Oh, yeah, Jaskier. Jaskier
is his name, isn't it? But Dandelion is like...
I have read the Witcher books years ago, and
I loved it. How many are there? There's a good
few. Six, seven? I don't remember. There's a
few of them. I read some of the ones that were
later editions, but they're prequels as well.
Okay. Because I do want to read them, but also
I'm a bit like... Once you've read, like, I've
just read four of the War of the Beasts books.
They're all trash. And I'm like, I can take six
Witcher books. That's not a chore. That'll be
fine. Purty Rabot. I'm currently finishing my
video. Let me add an install tier list. I mean,
sorry. Where are we? This is the thing. He's...
I didn't want to add artificer because I felt
like there was already a million of these things,
but artificer is another class. How tangentially?
Is it like actually a class or is it just like
it's a class? I don't know if it's fifth edition.
It's kind of, it's like a proper class. Is it
a base class? I don't know if it's a base class.
I don't know if it's a subclass. No, it's not.
It's not a subclass. I know that it is its own
thing. Chat, should we put Artificer in the list
even if it's just for party? Discuss. Maybe we
should just try and fit him into one of them.
Yeah, you know what? He's kind of a barbarian
in terms of his anger issues. He did? There's
also Vulcan too, though. Vulcan would also really
fit as an Artificer. I think Chat has spoken
the same. Give me Artificer, cowards. Okay. Artificer?
Artificer? Artificer? Artificer, surely. Artificer.
Artificer. I'm going to put the ballad in above
cleric just because it looks neater. Okay, so
we're going to put him in Artificer. There you
go. Artificer. Artificer. No, Artificer. American
English is not correct English. Oi, oi, oi. Because
it's English. The word is English. Yeah, well,
we have the original accent still. Here's one
that we were literally saying this earlier. You
can't win against. Boo, I win. Boo. Fuck you.
You smell. How? Opinion. I was literally saying
to Colin, we were having a bit of bants before
this, and Colin mentioned there's a really big
mall in his neck of the woods. And I was like,
oh, I went to uni and there was a place called
The Mall. Because that's what they call it in
the UK. Discuss. Is Mal a real word or is that
just a bastardization? I'm going to the Mal.
Have you seen Monopoly board, by the way? You
know Monopoly? I have played Monopoly, yeah.
What's the other one? Is it Pal -Mal? Pal -Mal?
Yeah. What the fuck is Pal -Mal? Ali -Pali? What?
colin has been to london by the way people so
he should know these things we had a pint it
was lovely yeah boys with the bevvies it was
good but uh is it pal mal guys who play monopoly
yo people i was muted hell that's not how that
works I lived by Chicago for 26 years. That doesn't
mean I know every single location in Chicago.
Okay, next to just visiting and in jail in the
purple bit is Pal -Mal on the Monopoly board
for the London Monopoly board. What the fucking
London Monopoly? That's not... Which is the standard
Monopoly board. That is not the standard Monopoly.
That's actually the original. No, it's not. It
is. No. Boo. It was invented in fucking DC. No
way. Yes. Monopoly board fandom. What the fuck
is this? Guys, should we all quit our channels
and become Monopoly tubers? So real. Kentucky
Avenue. Why are the colors in the wrong place?
Guys, we're getting distracted. Jagatai fighter.
Is that a good call? paladin we can't put him
in barbarian because that's antithetical to the
lead i think he is spicy because he is i'd almost
want to put slightly druid in terms of his connection
to you know his homeland his nature lesser than
the yeah i maybe they're right next to the bottom
because if we if we if we do this debate right
now because they're next they're like next to
each other like wolves have the whole we're not
really psychos and lehman is like i'm not really
a barbarian i just pretend there's a lot of like
he could be qualities going on you know if he
returns to 40k he could be a druid but for now
lehman russ is a barbarian like 100 he's like
i pretend to have an anger issue he still acts
like he has an anger issue i think you just have
an anger issue like i just let my my legion lop
because funny well not really but it's like i'm
not really like i just tolerate their their shamanistic
kind of tendencies and i'm actually i i'm from
ethan it's like i malkador taught me how to write
oh i bet you're um what's the word like writing
what's the term for like finesse writing not
calligraphy you're um Oh, not scholar. There's
a word for like your pedigree of right, whatever.
He's like that, like, oh, Malkador, we had tea
in the palace, but he's like, oh, yeah, I'll
play it up. Dorn, Artificer, put him there. Any
objections to Artificer? Dorn, I don't know if
we are, because everyone's going to be an Artificer.
I don't think Dorn, he's not like a tinkerer.
He doesn't like to make stuff. I think he's kind
of a paladin. He really is like, he's the wall
himself, literally. Dorn... Not Monk. I mean,
they're all Primarchs. They kind of have a bit
of magic. Yeah, that is true. I'm honestly kind
of going Barbarian too. because of his time in
the sands with corn be like joint case part of
it but i'm also thinking more gameplay than anything
and like he is a tank and the barbarian is the
tank i have a what about monk because the thing
is all of his legion are described as like they're
stoned men they always put duty before personality
they're very boring they're very stoic what about
monk I really think Paladin makes sense. Paladin
does also kind of make sense. He wields a two
-handed weapon or he has a shield in Siege of
Terror as well. The thing just throwing me with
it is the, what do you call it? No holy? No holy
nothing. No magic. The Emperor. I mean, yeah,
it's not perfect. Wait, so because Paladin's
used magic, he's not allowed? Is that what you're
saying? They have a base ability of smite, so
they channel their deity's power. Crusades! Yeah,
that is true. And also he's the one guy who's
incorruptible by chaos by default, isn't he?
He is also the Black Templar's dad. That does
come from him. Yeah. Curse. Rogue. He's not really
stealthy, though. I see. Yeah, I mean what else
wasn't staying how he was scuttled around the
the the Dark Angels glory on I always call it
the vengeful spirit. It's the the The what's
it called how the flagship? No, it's the the
the it's like the incontrovertible Atheism I
always think it's the vengeful spirit. It's the
reason what's it called oh something reason isn't
it yeah it's something reason so the invincible
reason thank you cb4 uh c4b yeah he was in the
invincible reason scotland around for months
until they got to mccragg and then he was clandestinely
like assassinating all the populace he tried
to kill gilliman's mum like he did a lot of like
roguish things hear me out he's a monk what because
he tortures people in hand -to -hand combat he
he's close up and personal he's not really doing
stealth tactics or sneak attack it's fear tactics
they're different he at most could be a rogue
because he's not going to use any other forms
of combat he's not an angry guy no barbarian
he's not really a fighter yeah but even then
he is also like like he's fighting dirty which
is other like that's a very rogue thing Yeah,
he's the only Prime Master who's spitting in
their eyes. He's a rogue. He's going to throw
the pocket sand in your eyes and then gouge your
eyes out. He's going to put the sand in his mouth
and then spit it into your eyes. That's what
he does. Yeah, fair enough. He's like weirdly
in between, isn't he? He's like something. And
should we do one more and then we'll do Donut?
Oh, that is the most paladin man. That is literally
the paladin. He's not a traditional looking guy.
He's not a heavy rock to take damage. I mean,
Cabana broke both his legs and he was still fighting
because he had wings, I guess. He took a beating.
He took on Horace when he was already like, I've
been fighting a good month, two months, whatever
it was. And half dead. He was literally dying.
And he was like, I still got it. Yeah. And also...
The gold filigree, the halo, the wings, that's
the most paladin. He kind of is a little barbarian
in there, though. He literally has rage. He has
a rage ability. He's still just an angel in a
cage. I think that's a good start. Shall we get
into some donations from all our lovely viewers?
Thank you all very much for donating. Colin,
would you like to start us off with Donkey Man,
please? Thank you for the two bucks. Stream late
due to Hal Gooding to Mind Flussy. What does
that mean? It's like a mind flayer. It's like
a guy that's a little Cthulhu looking dude. They're
psychic. You know from Baldur's Gate 3, they
get attacked by the mind flayers in the trailer.
I've not played Baldur's Gate. They literally
look like mini Cthulhu's. Yeah, they're mini
Cthulhu's like the size of a people and they're
all psychic. And they turn other people into
mini Cthulhu's as well. Yeah, they put a tadpole
in your brain and then it eats your brain and
it turns into a mind flayer. I gotta be honest,
I saw there was a deduction in its price today.
But then I was like, I'm not buying that until
it's like 50 % off. But then Halo remake comes
out and I'm like, I will spend 50 quid on a game
with just Solo. Absolute cope. I don't know what's
happened to me. I don't know what's happened
to me. Halo is peak. I know, but it's for real
cope. It is absolute cope. Fuck you. To be fair,
you could learn more about Mind Flayers on Dungeons
No Work. You could. I think that was the second.
It was one of the first. We started with Fighter.
Johnny Dungeon. I must admit, one of my proudest
moments this year was leaving a comment on your
Barbarian video where I just put... come on barbie
join the party yeah i keep forgetting to change
i keep forgetting i need to change to be on that
channel if i can to heart things because i go
through the comments and i go to like give it
a little heart like wait a minute i'm on not
don't switch accounts i keep forgetting to do
that uh how would you like this one uh x art
says been a member for 11 months thank you thank
you sir stream late due to donkey yes Yes, somebody
actually is coming back around. Donkey Man. Says
I'm 102 % undead with a 2 % margin for error.
Oh, this can't be. Gotta be honest, I got hints
of Archer from that. I got hints of, what's his
name? Yeah, well, I don't want to commit too
hard to talking like Uncle Ruckus on livestream,
alright? I can only commit so much to that. Leave
those nice high elves over there. Don't talk
to those dwarves over there. Oh, I love Boondocks.
Crazy work. Swiffy Swath for five. Thank you
very much. Fankwool thinks he's stat for a whiz
war. Why needs a bard surviving on that riz roll
so Skaven Society doesn't get rid of him? Gotta
be honest. Occasionally. Good point. We go live
and I'm just like. Should I retire? I don't know.
The lingo is getting... The Whiz War and the
Riz Raz. Unfortunately, I still don't understand
all of it. Whiz War, they just abbreviated Wizard
and Warlock. Okay. Yeah. Need a rocking chair
in the next stream. I hate that I can understand
Gen Z. I'm afraid that D &D is older than you,
so age cannot be an excuse for that one. Only
senility. Okay, I'm going senile. This one's
for Hal. Hal, I got bad news. Monopoly is different
worldwide. That must really... Imagine you live
somewhere and you get to the very end one, the
most expensive, but it's to put hotels and rent,
and you know it's a shithole. Could you imagine?
That would bug me. I think the last Monopoly
I played was probably, you know, Star Wars Monopoly
or something. You know, I'm feeding for it so
I can buy Han Solo and go, look, ding! Coruscant.
Would you believe if I told you that there is
a Guernsey Monopoly? Fuck off. But when are we
going to get a Warhammer Monopoly? This is like
Cadia, Armageddon. Oh, we... Mark your words.
They already... Warhammer Monopoly does exist.
Does it? Yeah, it does exist. It does. 40k or
fancy? 40k. Come on, Andy. It's nice to ask.
I appreciate the effort. You know, the sentiment,
but... No way. You guys didn't know this existed?
I mean, it's Monopoly. If an IP has more than
five people into it, it's going to have a Monopoly.
Can I just look at what's the end area? Hold
on, just one sec. Halo does have a Monopoly.
I thought it did. Holy Terror is the last one.
It's Mass Effect. Does Mass Effect have a Monopoly?
Oh my god, you know what the train stations are
usually? They're craft worlds. Mass Effect does
have Monopoly. Oh, wait, are you serious? The
train station? Oh, that's funny. Biltown. It's
like shattered buildings. Simon. Yanden. And
then Uthway. Damn. Damn, someone roasted. I think
this one is probably best suited for you, Colin,
if you'd like to read this donation. Sure. Jedi
Mando, thank you for the five pounds. If you
guys were reborn into Warhammer fantasy, what
class and race would you guys pick? Elf, Wizard.
Dwarf Druid. Dwarf Druid, Andy, I'm afraid dwarves
can't really use magic. Yeah, they can't use
magic. It's something Andy discovered in our
Warhammer Fantasy Fireside episode, which he
did with Colin. They turn into rocks if they
do magic. I'd be alright. I'd be rock hard. Chaos
dwarves. I mean, I assume a normal dwarf would
also turn into a rock, they just don't do magic.
I think human bard would be good, because...
Do you really want to live like... You could
be more like a merchant. I like this one. And
that's a good life. I don't know why. I don't
know what this is in response to, but it's just,
with the PFP, I was like, yeah, I'm just going
to put that there. Stucking the fat goatees.
Oh my god. And the last one, Glitcher8839 for
699 Canucks. Hot take. Uncle Ruckus would 100
% be a high elf simp for obvious reasons. Yeah.
Don't bother those nice people over there. I'm
a 102 % dark elf with a 2 % margin of error.
The full dark elf. I do love the boondocks. I
love that one where it's just like the episode
where it's like, with regards to the episode,
it's just like, ah, being with your homies isn't
gay, and it's just like all the guys kissing
and hugging. It's just like, no, no, no, there's
nothing to look into here. It's just like...
There's a lot of tension here in this episode.
I mean, it's a shame I can't quote it. Andy,
I am, by the way, I have the Halo Monopoly board
open and I'm desperately trying to find reach.
But it is unfortunately at like 144p. Is Harvest
there? The names are so blurry. I'm looking at
the images and when it's just a picture of a
planet. There's a really easy solution to this,
right? You go on eBay and you buy a copy for
$800. Yeah. And then you can tell us what happens.
And let's be honest, you'd want a Halo copy of
Monopoly, right? Yeah. Why not? Treat yourself.
The trains are vehicles, though. Okay. Okay.
So, Ferus Manus. That is also Artificer. Yeah.
It must be, surely. I feel it, yeah. He's making
stuff. Okay, well, that's the most... Angron
is the most obvious barbarian character. I was
thinking of just saying when I was telling you
what a barbarian was about, Andy. Angron. He
was, I guess, supposed to be a cleric in some
way, wasn't he? Probably supposed to be cleric,
yeah. Which is kind of sad. Yeah, I literally
had the same thought when I was putting this
because he would have been a cleric. Yeah, he
would have. You know, brain nails. I think Kurz
would have been a paladin as well. Shame. Yeah.
I'm going to say he's a bard. What? I thought
that too. Hear me out. He's the buff guy. It
doesn't translate one to one, but he's, you know.
he's not the best fighter he's not the best you
know like anything like that but you know his
presence rallies people as a primarch I mean
a lot of them could do that you could say but
you know like you know his mental abilities like
help everyone else perform better because he
kind of takes care of the rot that is bureaucracy
it's a little weird I know but I have I have
a suggestion as well hear me out cleric Because
he's trying to bomb the ailing Imperium's rot.
And in a way, he counters Lorgar, where Lorgar
is zealous fury. He's kind of compassion. Even
when it comes to the god blight, we need to not
be recruiting harsh soldiers. We need men who
will have compassion. and they will try to to
make the imperium better he's trying to cure
the ailing imperium he tried to stop the rampant
spread of religiosity in a way that was like
that wouldn't work with the cleric though that
wouldn't clerics use like healing magic Bro wore
a suit of armor that cleansed him of a poison
blade. Yeah, but anyone could do that. His sword
cleanses demons from existing. Yeah, but anyone
could hold that sword. Man is in charge of the
most medicays in the entire Imperium, saving
the plague wars. I think... bard makes more sense
it's the closest we get and he's all about like
lifting people up letting them do better with
his you know his leadership he ain't singing
no jingles but he is a charismatic he's also
hard as a charisma class yeah all right all right
all right all right also he gets angry when he
you people forget that he's not a humorless you
know dirtbag but he crashed out on chaos he's
got jokes I've got to take... Yes, goddamn it.
I did just tell a joke. I have more to my life
than spreadsheets. Come with me, baby. Mortarion.
Where's Stinky Ass in this tier list? He obviously
doesn't like magic. But he does use magic. Where
do we put Hypocrite in this tier list? I know.
This is a tough one. Is he a... It's not quite
giving the same as a druid. He's all like, hey,
Garrow, drink the poison with me. It's a ritual.
It's pagan -ish. It's outside the imperial truth.
I use magic, but I'm not a magician. I always
forget, was he a psyker, like, properly? Yeah.
Technically. He doesn't use it. It's not real
psyker. I'd say sorcerer. Hmm. but he's not quite
magnus and he hates sorcerers i would say i'm
like druid it's like an escape he's a fighter
who's gone he's got a cow he's got a white cow
no there's like fighter subclasses that are like
yeah like you go to you can specialize in the
weapon in fighter can't you so i think he's specialized
in a weapon but you can also be like uh what
do you call it um there there are like there's
like eldritch knight i think it's a fighter subclass
or something And what does he do with a scythe?
Tends the field? Field? Druid? Druid? Nature?
Wow. Get this man in politics. Your train of
thought is wonderful to go through. He's covered
in poo! That sounds like... What's the word?
When you put it in the soil to make it grow proper.
Fertilizer. He's the fertilizer man. Nature.
Spores. How do you like your Mortarion? Fertilized.
Covered in shit. That's Druid. He's a fighter.
He absolutely is a fighter. Green and white.
That's a Druid. I'm going to start quoting Uncle
Ruckus if this conversation doesn't swiftly finish.
Magnus Sorcerer. No, Wizard. Wait, what's the
difference? So Sorcerer, I think Sorcerer is
better. Because sorcery is, like, just built
into you. Like, for Bloodline or something like
that, you just do magic good. And he was made,
you know, handcrafted to just be inherently the
magic guy. Yeah, I mean... He didn't really learn,
like, I mean, he learned wizard stuff, but it
was more like learning a spell, not, like, how
to do magic. I think he's more scholarly, so
I would go for wizard, whereas a sorcerer is
more of, like, the practical application of magic.
How would wizards do that, too? Like, it's...
Sorcerer is, like, that's the thing in D &D.
It's, like, it's in there. Like, wizards can
be innately magical, but most of what they do
is purely from study. Magnus could have studied
nothing, and he could still, like... No, he did
study. Am I correct in thinking sorcerers innately
are magically gifted, wizards have to... Wizards
have to do the studying, which is why I say he's
more Sorcerer, because even if no one taught
him... Sorcerer is Swissgar Squigelf in Metalocalypse.
Wizard is Toki Wartooth. No, the other way around.
Toki Wartooth is the Sorcerer, and then Swissgar
is the Wizard. I'm just going to say, yeah, man,
I got nothing. Because Toki is naturally a good
guitarist, but he doesn't practice. But Swissgar
is not naturally a good guitarist, but he practices
more, so he's a better guitarist. by pancreas
the standards there's no wizards at all i have
people that i think are wizards coming later
on it's just not i would say because magnus didn't
he wasn't born knowing how to use his psychic
powers and magic he was taught amon taught him
he learned from like but he wasn't But he was
taught, and then he instantly was like, I'm better
than you. He's arrogant. Magnus has zero charisma,
zero wisdom, he's a wizard. You know, you're
kind of spitting with that, actually. Yeah, he
is a wizard. You're a wizard, Magnus. Horus.
That is THE bard. He convinced a few people to
turn against the Imperial. Hello there, Amber
King. You should subscribe to my channel. I'm
Horace, don't you know? I'm such a lovely guy.
Yeah, I bet Horace. No, no, no. Horace is pretty,
I mean, he's kind of an all -rounder, kind of
like a fighter. I don't know if there's like
a subclass of bard and fighter. Horace Heresy.
There you go. It's just called prick or something.
I would say he's a pretty talented bard in terms
of... He's kind of known for that, isn't he?
That's his skill. Yeah, he's the orator. But
not like Gilman, where he's an orator, taxman,
empire builder. He's just good at drawing people
to him. And that was his specialty. He was the
foil. It's Boido. Well, he has a bit of it, because
he is his father's son. But also, like, this
guy's kind of crazy. I'd almost say he's a sorcerer.
He has no psychic power, but he's good at rallying
people to his side. But he's a fighter. He's
not known for being charismatic. He's not charismatic,
but he is capable. Is he like a dark paladin
in some way? What's the one called in where a
paladin breaks their oath or something? Oh, like
an oathbreaker paladin. Question. What's the
difference between a wizard and a warlock? Warlock
makes a pact. Their power is coming from someone
else. Do we not have warlock? We do. Do we? I
don't think we have warlock. Oh, fuck, we don't.
I thought I did. This website is very finicky.
Warlock is like... It doesn't necessarily need
to be demonic. I mean, it's Warhammer, so it's
probably going to be demonic. But no, Warlock
is like some other being is giving you a little
bit of their power for you to do. Alright, well,
with that said, can we put Horus here then? Because
at his most powerful, he was more powerful than
the Emperor, but he was only more powerful than
the Emperor because... He was warlocking. Let
me check something really quick. Yeah, warlock
is also a charisma class. Yeah. I never play
warlock because I hate warlock. He is the warlock
master. Yeah, no. Yeah, I think so. I'm glad
we sorted that out then. Does that mean, where
does lore go next? Hey, Andy, just one quick
question. Yeah, sorry? What is Wia? On the bottom
of the category. I believe that was Artificer,
but I was trying to add. Is it just the we were,
we were category or something? While we were.
King in the castle. Oh, Abaddon. Because he's
not, he's not like, his whole thing is, I'm not
like dad. I earned my keep. I would say, I think
he's a paladin because he's like a dark paladin.
Dark paladin. He's literally something called,
like we were saying, he's an oathbreaker paladin.
and he broke his oath he's kind of a warlock
but he doesn't abram doesn't really use you know
psychic powers like he he enacts people to do
it for him he went on a pilgrimage and he killed
a bunch of stuff with a with a sword and he draws
people to him his strength is a uniter his strength
is a is a bannerman his strength is i will draw
people to a common cause so i'm like paladin
can win a war on his own i feel like no paladin's
more of like they're like a central warrior figure
like not a fighter a fighter could be more of
someone who's like a duelist whereas a paladin
is like essentially what you think he's like
as like a you know he's a dark templar in some
way he doesn't employ magic he doesn't play magic
because he's suffused with chaos so he did kill
the og sigismund i'll take that yeah okay he's
a bitch logar cleric I think he's a warlock.
Colin? So, has he... Again, you both would know
more. Has he specifically made a pact with them?
With, like, a chaos god? Or chaos in general?
Well, he becomes a demon. He becomes a demon
primarch, but the thing with a warlock is specifically,
like, it is a contractual deal. Like, the warlock,
they want you to do something. Am I right in
thinking how when he goes for his pilgrimage,
he kind of makes a pact with Chaos in that, like,
I'll give you the Imperium if I'm your chosen?
Not specifically, but it's more implied. The
weird thing about Lorgar, Lorgar's not, for most
of the horror's heresy, corrupted by Chaos. He
genuinely believes in it. As in, like, because
you know when you get to Isvar and he has a little
panic attack where he goes, like, oh, what the
fuck am I doing? That's a demon in there. He
literally goes like, oh my god, what are we doing?
Corferon goes, snap out of it, you bitch! Yeah,
no, I don't think he's a warlock. In addition
to they give you a bit of power, it's a contract.
You are obligated to do at least something. He's
kind of a bard. We think of him as a cleric because
he's kind of like a priest. But the thing is,
he's not. Here's my caveat. When it came to the
last hurdle, Horus, Fulgrim, everyone shunned
him before the Siege of Taric. He doesn't have
the charisma that Horus does. He has blind faith,
which is why I want to say cleric. He doesn't
have charisma. No, no, but even his legion are
like, I hate him. Kalf, they're like, I hate
my Primarch, but he's on the right path. Who
was it who was like, we don't bear the word anymore,
we bear Lorgar? Was that? That's a quote. Who
said that? but there's no i'm agreeing with you
yeah they're all just like we follow him we kind
of hate him but he is on the right path yeah
i hate my thing is cleric is like on the right
side and lorga's not a healer But they're also
like priests. As a role, they're priests. That's
what they're kind of supposed to do. They spread
the word of their deity. Oh, you slept with my
wife, but if you cure her of her ailment, I guess
I have to do what you say. You don't have to
like the priest. You don't have to like the cleric.
But if he professes to... If you promise, then
it's like... Someone did bring up, there are
evil gods in D &D, and they can absolutely have
clerics that mechanically still do, you know,
get cleric spells, but they're evil. I guess
he's a cleric then. That makes sense. He's gotta
be the cleric. Should we run out of Primarchs,
then we'll do another round of... Yep. Vulcan.
When you can't. Artificer. This whole deal, it's
that and being nice. fair enough lovely man corvus
i mean that's the most obvious rogue rogue we
don't need to think about that any longer that
is conrad's like we have rogue at home real rogue
man is like unintentionally invisible that's
pretty impressive nice yeah it was just perfect
was that all that we did No, the one you almost
forgot about. Also rogue. Not a proper rogue,
but like... Not a proper rogue, but like, what
else is he? It's rogue. It's gotta be rogue.
It doesn't really fit. I can maybe make a new
class, hold on. No, please no more. Stop, no
more. No, no, no. Shitter. All right, you know,
maybe, hmm. We'll have too many people in there.
No, that's, I mean, that's the average rogue
player is a shitter, so it's fine. I swear it's
in character for me to steal from the party and
backstab every fucking If someone says they're
playing, what's their alignment is like chaotic
evil rogue, just don't play. Chaotic, chaotic
evil or chaotic neutral. You killed Colin. You
killed him. Really, anyone who's chaotic is going
to cause problems. Well, thank you all. We're
going to go through some donations right now.
Do you want to start us off, Hal? Thank you.
From New Zealand. Oh, good morning. In keeping
with the Uncle Ruckus vibe, I put it to you guys
that Magnus is a... Grand Wizard. Wow. That was
a good... That's funny. Good pun. That was a
good pun. Jedi Mando, five pounds. Whore should
be a warlock. It's charisma class and you get
juiced by chaos and the heresy same way a warlock
does. Thank you, brother. It's not horrible.
Existential Lee. Thank you very much for your
donations. I wanted to write something heinous
in celebration of finally catching the pod live,
but instead I'll just give you all my sincere
thanks for that. Thank you so much. Someone said
something nice about us, guys. It is appreciated.
There are some kind people here. Thank you. That
feels weird. Another large one here. Who would
like to read this of you two? Salvax5301 for
£10. Thank you, man. What are your guys' favourite
40k and fantasy slash Age of Sigmar creature?
40k is a crotalid because walk -travelling crocodile
and fantasy in the Stowhorn for the fact it's
just a badass fantasy bison. Did I read that
right? Yeah. I might have to agree with that
for the fantasy one. The really big fantasy,
yeah. If I can pick a specific creature where
it's just one though, probably the Sleeper from
Godric and Felix. Just because someone got really
bored and decided they were fighting Necromorphs
today. It's like, okay. Can't really say Boingob.
Squig. Like a giant squig. He's squigging on
my... I do like a squig. Here's one that I think
might catch you guys off guard. And I'm saying
creature. You might disagree, but I quite like
mandrakes. Because they turn up out of nowhere.
They have that samurai influence, but they're
also kind of like ghostly and ethereal and strange.
I'm drawn to mandrakes. I like them. They're
fun. Fair enough. It's a good point, I think.
how any of you i guess in 40k i had to hey what's
like a really weird one it looks like the huge
the huge tyranid ones are like pretty crazy i'm
trying to think of a horus heresy exclusive we
never see again i would like to know i mean the
crave are pretty oh no not the crater the slough
the slough the slaw slaw the coleslaw um the
stall they're the ones like the maggot men every
time i think of crave i think of the uk cereal
which is like oh yeah and it's like a cereal
that tries to eat people like that's quite apt
i like that it's like the cereal tries to eat
you to death because it's rabid i'm like that's
very 40k i like that the slaw weird though yeah
this one's for you colin Thanks, man. Lilith
is pog. Thank you for the five bucks. Hey, Pancreas,
I keep seeing Milwaukee hate. Is someone from
there? Can I say it's all valid? At least you're
aware. Why everyone hate it? Fucking Wisconsin
sucks. Why would anyone hate Wisconsin when Red
Letter Media are based there? Well, aside from
that, their streets were designed by like...
His laugh is amazing. It's because their streets
were designed by the fucking... I forget what.
You got a fish fry every week. You got a fish
fry. No, no, no, no, no. Their kids were designed
by fucking Joffrey Lannister. Or their streets.
Their kids. I did say their kids. Their streets
were designed by Joffrey Lannister, full of hate
and incest. I swear to God, the drivers in that
state are just like... He says Joffrey Lannister
as well, not Joffrey Baratheon. I know what he
is. He knows what he is. What do you have? Do
you have cheese and alcoholism? Good for you,
buddy. I got that too. I don't need to be in
Wisconsin for that. It's not special. Fuck the
Green Bay Packers. Kill them with hammers. Not
going to lie. My partner and I would love to
go to Wisconsin one day just to like... Just
for the chance of bumping into any of the RLM
crew. It's not worth it. It sucks. No, it'll
be worth it. I think it used to be in Chicago
until a few years ago. Yeah, it was. And that
would have been even better because you know
what? I could just go back to my fucking house
after the fact. I would absolutely drive an hour
in. I've done that for other cons. Three hours?
Can't do that. Yep. A fanciful prodigy for five
bucks. Predicting right now if fantasy is touched
at all, Godric and Felix will be a barbarian
and bard duo. Can you get out of my mind, dickhead?
Yeah, fair enough. Jedi Mando, two pounds. Thank
you. Question for Colin, Mr. Marathi. Marathi,
come on. He wants to be stepped on, people. Understand
his depravity. ocd giant robot fan for five what
do you guys think of gw publishing a detailed
visual encyclopedia of everything in 40k example
food animals the source of wag i gotta be honest
um they kind of did this oh we're just crazy
there's people crazy enough to be that to be
gassed about it so i think they should but i
got an encyclopedia of characters And I got to
be honest, it was not that many characters. I
was like, oh, this will be like I bought it because
I was like, oh, maybe I will not have done a
video on this character and it will give me more
information. The only one that I hadn't done
was Horticulous Slimax, who is a Nurgle demon
who rides a snail. I was like, this was not worth
40 pounds. So kind of similar to and I'm. taking
the cop on this myself i think the problem with
when they do things like law masters and their
tv shows about parts of the law and stuff they're
only willing to talk about big things and when
they do a thing that's like an encyclopedia they'll
talk about some things but they'll miss something
they can't really like because you only have
one release and it's out they can't improve it
and so youtube has the edge where they'll be
like oh new stuff is out for this character i
can do a new video and delete my old video or
just do a new video or i was always meaning to
do that video and i'll do it now youtube is more
flexible in that regard and i know halo a while
ago did like a culinary book it was like make
a halo boy girl i'm like okay that's kind of
cute but Once it's out, it's out. And then they
will not touch it for 50 years. And then it's
not as flexible as something like social media
where you can actually improve or be like, I
didn't do a good enough job. I'll retract to
make a new one. Or I did a video very long ago
and I'll do a new version. It'll be even better.
It's the format I don't think is able to keep
pace in that regard. But that's just my opinion
on it. Give me my Warhammer slot, please. Rat
Bartholomew Chessington for $9 .99. A mistake
I made in D &D was I had my friends choose my
class and race. This is how I ended up with Felix,
a cat boy bard. He has a higher con stat than
the tank at 18. Oh my god, your constitution's
that high? That's ridiculous. Why are you so
bricked up? Sometimes it happens. Look, con should
always be the second highest stat you have. I
don't care. The first is whatever you use to
hit people with. The second is constitution because
that is your health. What about luck? That's
not a stat. Luck is a stat. No, not in D &D.
There are feats that give you luck, kind of.
Your class has, depending on things, advantage.
on when you do like dice rolling or like pluses
to your stuff but you know not you kind of you
kind of the way you do as a crew you kind of
specialize yeah so like the whole so someone
in the group can do something in the room call
then yes that's right oh doggie doggie doggie
doggie doggie couldn't see what the man was doing
then i saw the science like dog dad come on should
we get back to the uh The tier list. Here we
go. Valdor. I mean, that's just a loyal boy there.
My little chud. He's kind of a paladin. I guess
he's a paladin. Surely he's the most paladin
of the dins. Who is it again? Maybe he's just
a fighter. Maybe he's just a fighter. I'd say
just fighter, yeah. Okay. he's just a warrior
he's just a killer yeah he's damn good at it
but could be a monk maybe though i mean don't
custodians spend most of their time thinking
on what biggie tells them rather in the past
told them kind of nowadays i think that's a good
thing monk actually works pretty well and also
someone did say earlier that no one in 40k can
quite be a monk because monks don't wear armor
so at a certain point we're just going to have
to ignore that little fact Yeah, they kind of
use their skill to be their saving. Their dexterity
is so high, isn't it? They save themselves that
way. I'd say monk. I'd say monk. Shout out to
early game monk play, by the way. Early game
monk is terrible. Constantine just said, oh,
but monks don't even use weapons or armor. I'm
just saying, this guy... punched Abaddon in the
mouth and, like, saw him out. He is the weapon.
He is the weapon. Also, if we're going purely
by that, like, look, the monk's got someone fits,
I think he fits monk better, but again, no one
in any Warhammer setting is going to be pure
monk because no one just punches you and doesn't
wear armor. Yeah, that's the technicality. But
for the most part, he's literally like, I have
no emotion. I'm all duty. I'm all devoted to
the cause. Some monks can use weapons. Yeah.
The armor thing is kind of throwing it, but Eldred...
Sorcerer? Probably Sorcerer. Alright, next. Paladin.
Paladin? She's the Herald of Innead. It's Paladin
or Clara. She's Drukari. Okay. God, it's death.
Surely, like... Is it a warlock? Because all
of her power comes from a god? Promises? I'd
still say paladin. Yeah. She's all like, hey,
Lelith, join me because my dad, he'll, like,
protect you from being eaten. I mean, paladin
is also a charisma class. But that's not charisma.
That's just like... Bad guy. I've got a pact
with. He'll save you. I don't know if she - she's
his, like, herald. She's his top guy. I don't
think it's strictly speaking like a war lifestyle
pact. She died, and then she was like, I give
myself to you of rain. I think Paladin. I say
Paladin. I say Paladin. You know this more than
- I don't know what I'm looking - is that Gazagul?
That's Gaz. Enough said. Do we need to say any
more? For orc culture, strength and charisma
are the same thing. Yeah. He can't be a bard.
I don't know if he's a... Rogue doesn't feel
right. But I don't know. I don't know either.
This is tough. Hear me out. He was like, oh.
I here I am with my cape and my my scepter I'm
going to profess a new way for all of my people
mess it up royally I will show the way but also
and like do we know how good of a fighter he
is we know that he made a deal with gods we know
that he made a pact with gods we know that he
betrayed the gods we know that he presides over
his people who for the most part can't object
He's just like a ruler. He's not like a fighter
that we know of. We've never seen him go toe
-to -toe with any space marine. He's just a guy
who professes with words. He has the entirety
of his species under his thumb because he made
pacts with... He's not quite warlock because
he broke with those beings. Then he can find
them and he's like, I'll show the way. I know
what's going to happen next. I'm the one who's
going to lead us all. And that's why Imhotek
is like, hey, you're not a soldier. I'm going
to break with your tradition. Discuss. I could
say he's a cleric in some form. Maybe because
he's kind of like a weird... In some sense, he's
like a leader of his people. And again, his power
is more of raising constructs and other stuff.
It's not perfect at all. He's definitely not
an artificer. That's a chronomancer or something.
He can't build a tank. I think Cleric is not
the best one, but I can't think of anything better.
He's the ambrosia to his people. Not that his
people have any minds, but... That's a really
low bar. That's what I'm saying. Ah, a towel.
It's a towel, man. Is that Alnvar? Alnvar. Technically
a bard. Technically a bard. True. Words of manipulation.
Smell my armpits, said Alnvar. I picked Ol' Baelai.
Ol' One -Eye. Ol' One -Eye, sorry. Ol' One -Eye.
That is a rogue. That is a rogue of a thing.
What do you mean by that? I'm just saying, don't
think of old One -Eye, I'm thinking Tyranids
in general. He's a creature of ambush. He's a
rogue. I didn't know he was a ranger. I don't
know. It's a bug. It's a fucking bug. It shouldn't
be here. Why is he here? Because he's... We're
talking about Tyranids. They barbarically consume
everything. They have intelligence. That's to
say, like, you know, fucking Conrad Curse has
got a good ranger in his kills. No, no, but,
like, what do Tyranids do? They just, like...
They eat you. Yeah. I guess ranger because he
lives in the woods. What do they do when they're
not, like... When they're not, like, doing the
sneaky stuff, they just send waves and waves
and waves. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait,
wait, wait. Hell. Hell. Crimson fist stuff. Orcs
are attacking en masse, and they're barbaric.
Tyranids do this all the time, where they're
just like, I just send waves and waves and waves
of unthinking beings. They cut you to pieces.
Then they jump into pools where they're digested
from. I didn't do this, though. That's his law.
He survives. He's a proxy, Hal. He's an ambush
character. I'm talking about tyranids. I'm talking
about the hive mind. He's not really a character.
Hal, I'm not talking about old one. I am talking
about the tyranids in general. Their whole thing
is just nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. They shouldn't
even be here. They do not have a good character.
Buffet every day. How do we accomplish this?
Is this the whole is the hive mind? Yes. Druid,
because it's a it's a it's a force of nature.
And a druid, because it's like biological weapon
for all we know. Exactly. Druid interacts with
like a druid summons things of nature to help
them. Technically, the hive mind is creating
and summoning rules. Every fucking tier list
or vaguely related to a tier list thing, Andy
comes swinging out of left field with the most
out -of -pocket nonsense. What do you mean? They
just tear people limb from limb and then they
eat them. It's a bug! That's what I mean! They're
barbaric. Druid. Leave the druid, please. Please,
I beg you. Where was the last time you saw a
bunch of neurophobes doing a ritual? Bro, it's
not always that way. Druids utilize nature stuff.
They just kill you and eat you. That's barbaric.
They just find, how do we kill you and eat you?
That's barbaric. They don't have rage. They don't
have emotions. But that's why they're barbaric,
because they don't have minds. Most of them literally
don't have minds. They're not even angry, though.
But that's why it's barbaric, because you don't
have any thoughts. No, barbarians are all about
rage! No. They have a level one. They get an
ability called rage. Put it in fucking tree.
Parity meaning. No! It means extreme cruelty,
savage behavior, or a brutally violent act. It
doesn't say anything about thought. It says cruelty
and just violence. That's a tyranid. Someone
pushed out genes to the cults do rituals. Yeah,
but then... Wait, wait, wait. What happens to
the cults? I can only hear Druid. I'm shaking
off my headphones. Then they're chopped to bits
and they're eaten. It's violence and cruelty.
Violence and cruelty. That's barbarism. They
fit barbarism to a T. That's what Tyranids are.
They kill everything. And then they eat everything.
And even if the methods have a little bit of
cunning now and then, it all ends in... And then
the real tyranids come by and they kill everyone.
Not the D &D class of barbarians. What does a
D &D barbarian class of a barbarian do then?
They know for being stupid and then they enact
the rage ability and deal double the amount of
advantage or deal double damage or whatever.
Tyranids literally, for the most part, don't
even have consciousness. They just rampage. So
they can't be a barbarian. He just can't. There's
no rage in a tyranid's heart. Wait, wait, wait.
Unthinking violence doesn't mean that there has
to be a fort. It just means there's violence.
All of these things are violent. They are to
attack people. Colossus and Dungeons and Dragons.
A guy who'll be like, I'll just shoot you in
the head to stop you from killing me too. A thing
that will kill me. The rogue is violent. The
fighter is violent. The sorcerer. They're all
violent. It's the unthinking part. Most of the
Tyranid army don't think. They just follow orders
and they rip people to shreds. They don't have
rage! Like a druid. You don't need rage. You
just need the violence. Unthinking violence is
barbaric, right? Druids can summon creatures
to fight. The hive mind is creating these creatures
to fight. Wait, wait, wait. Is unthinking...
violence barbaric. Thank you. Someone said, Andy,
by your logic, a volcano is a barbarian. Thank
you. No, but a volcano doesn't have an overriding
thinker. It's just an act of nature. A pteronid
has an overriding... Like the hive mind. No,
no, no. A hive mind is a thinking being. A hive
mind is a being. Leave it in druid. It has forts.
Leave it in druid. A hive mind has forts. We're
running out of time. A hive mind has to go at
some point. A hive mind has to be like, I want
this, I want that. A volcano is just a volcano.
It doesn't have forts. It's just a force of nature.
A tyranid has forts and ambitions and desires.
It's a barbarian. No! It is. It is. It's not
a barbarian. You haven't given me a sufficient
counter -argument. No, we have. It's not the
D &D class barbarian. It's the Tyrannus barbarian.
It's not Old One -Eye. It's the Tyrannus. All
of them together. Leave it there. I'll listen
to you. Why should I take him away from barbarian
when it just kills millions? Because it's not
about your potential to kill as barbarian. Barbarian
is about the fact that you have the rage. Literally,
the skill of the class is rage. If the thing
does not have the ability to have rage, it cannot
be a barbarian. It's impossible. You don't think
a tyranid has rage? It's like someone saying
you can't be... Wait, you don't think a tyranid
has rage? It's a bug. It doesn't have an emotion.
It has an instinct. Simple creatures have rage.
Tyranids have rage? It's just instinct. Swarmlords
have had rage every time I've read about them.
When they fight any character that comes back.
Like Marnius Calgar, they're like, fuck you.
If you look in the chat, everyone is just going,
how is it raging? How is it? They have rage.
We've got to move on. I'm going to put them down
to fighter. olive branch wait wait wait where
do you want me to put it then hold on where do
you want me to put it it's a it's the hive mind
is druid leave it all right all right all right
i'm gonna i'm gonna olive branch i'm gonna put
him in druid even though i know it's not true
um this is the votan guy this is burry anus and
art i don't know who that is he fought the tyranids
he wears one uh oh so he's a druid then right
yeah he's a druid for sure for sure i don't know
anymore i have no idea i have no thoughts anymore
sigmar we're in fancy colin wake up wake up he's
actually a barbarian okay yeah he is coded the
barbarian crossed with charlemagne have you ever
listened to um christopher lee's album charlemagne
because he's a descendant of charlemagne and
also quotes from christopher lee i am the greatest
actor of all time fair enough chris fair enough
Technically, if you are a white person, you probably
descended from every person. In fact, at some
point, you're all related to Charlemagne at this
point. To be fair, how's my sister? What? What?
It's a technical thing. Technically, everyone
in Europe is related to Charlemagne. And then
everyone before that. So we're all related to
Mark Antony and everything. She's Charlemagne
on my main. I just love the lyrics. No problem.
I love one of the lyrics of his songs where he's
like, I shed the blood of the Saxon men. I shed
the blood of many Saxon men. That's a great.
Before we get any further, there's been a few
donos we should, I think, address before we get.
Sure. Do you want to start us off? Andy is creating
barbarians. Well, that's a fault of your own
intelligence. If you can't understand my argument,
I don't know. That sounds like barbarity to me.
Put up a fucking donut on the screen right now.
It's right there. It's been there. I put it up.
Ross6668, thank you for the tenor. Have you done
Leomon Russ yet? I bet he is sorcerer, due to
his magic focus more on charisma than spellcasting.
Otherwise, Warlock Hexblade for his anti -magic
focus melee that make packs with spirits. I can
see the argument, but I think Barbarian, it's
like, he lies. i don't even know if he thinks
he's lying or if he's lying and unintentionally
he's kind of dumb when he's like no i'm not a
barbarian actually i just pretend to be and also
do have immense rage in my heart but like it's
only a bit i don't think it's a bit yeah thank
you thank you man for the 10 bucks thank you
uh brian isaacs uh for two uh two dollar roos
uh what is geneva's diodon class oh uh do we
don't yeah her uh oh genevieve yeah genevieve
i i got no idea vampire i don't know it's i haven't
read her books yet i think she did study under
a wizard though so it's pretty cool Riddercruck
for DKK45. First time catching a stream. Tell
me, Colin. Oh, and he's got the online guy. Yeah!
Tell me, Colin. How was it being visited by a
storm cost and a wall on Realm of Ridiculous?
I was recording this week. There was a tornado
like 10 minutes from my house and thunder that
was shaking my house. to the point like they
heard it through the microphone because it was
rattling that like my house that's terrifying
it was cool though we had drinks me in the stormcast
uh i think this is for my usa barbara is not
applicable to animals well here's where you're
wrong leave it tyrannous are not animals i'm
gonna find a quote and i'll put you in your place
right I'm going to get you. I'm going to get
you. This Tyranid shit gets serious. Oh my goodness.
God, Tyranids. I've had enough of Tyranids. Raw66.
Oh god, I still want it. Five bucks. I argue
OneEye is a fighter due to being a disciplined
part of the Hive. Serve as the lead of their
party. and have stats similar to action surge
yeah we would it was to represent all the the
hive mind not just one either one i would probably
just be a fighter or a ranger i guess i'm gonna
mod it no no no uh astral animator put the tyranids
back into the monster manual please what's the
monster manual it's where the stats for the creatures
go because they're not classed oh here we go
uh existential lee for 499 andy watch your back
lmao tyranids my favorite faction and i'm coming
for you tyranids tyranids are druids not barbarians
thank you someone else sees the vision no you're
wrong i'll get there uh john says randy uh are
tyranids really druids and not barbs i have a
quote i have a quote ready and raw six six eight
five dollars who would like to read this i'll
take it uh why do i have two different videos
active i accidentally donated on the other one
before realizing no one was on the video also
finally caught one i could see it's been a while
so basically we have a mobile version and a video
version so if you want it in the the mobile version
they're both interconnected so we see all the
donations and comments on both but if you want
to see it horizontal or vertical that's up to
you so it gives you more choice but i'm just
going to be i'm going to be a cheeky bitch right
this uh quote here is from the hatred of the
hive mind uh it's basically it's from when tigurius
fights the hive mind it says the inspired the
imperial scholars were wrong the hive mind knew
the hive mind fought it felt it hated and it
desired its emotions were an utterable alien
cocktails of feelings not even the subtle eldari
might decipher its emotions were oceans the puddle
of a man's feelings they were inconceivable to
humanity for they were too big to perceive. The
hive mind looked out of its innumerable eyes
towards the dull red star of Baal. It apprehended
that this was the hive of the warriors that had
hurt it so grievously, who had burned its feeding
grounds and scattered its fleets. It hated...
the red prey, and coveted them. Tasting their
exotic genomes, it had seen the potential for
new and terrible war beasts. And so it drew its
plans and it set in motion its trillion, trillion
bodies towards the consumption of the creatures
in red metal so that their secrets might be plundered
and re -employed in the sating of the hive mind's
endless hunger. This was deliberate, considered,
and done in malice. The hive mind was aware.
and it desired vengeance. In that one bit of
lore, it states that they could have done more
damage, but they chose to let their emotions
get the better of them. So I'm sorry. The hive
mind does have emotions. It does let them get
the better of it. It does think, but it is barbaric.
I'm sorry. It's still not a barbarian because
it's not stupid. Barbarians are just dumb brawlers.
Conan the Barbarian is not stupid, but he's a
barbarian. He still enjoys vengeance and killing
and bloodshed, even if he's not. Well, maybe
he's not a very good barbarian. Those don't have
to be mutually exclusive. It's the D &D interpretation.
If the Tyranids were not barbaric, they'd be
like, ah, who cares? I'll just kill everyone
anyway. And they'd move on. It fits more druid
because druids literally have things. I'm not
saying they're stupid. I'm saying that they're
emotionally driven. The whole point of a barbarian...
Why is a barbarian angry? Can I say one last
thing then? Colin, what do you think? Leave it
at that. It shouldn't be on the fucking list
is what I think. It shouldn't be here to begin
with. There we go. We leave it there. Anyway.
anyway anyway um morathi colin warlock lady she's
not naturally a psycher is she i think she's
impact i just put there like yeah he does have
deals with two of the elven gods warlock works
warlock or wizard but i'm leaning a bit more
towards warlock I would say. She's not really
studied, has she? She's not scholarly in that
sense. She probably knows secrets, but so would
a warlock, because he bartered for them. I used
to do more Tyranid research. I can't bear it.
I'd say warlocks. Yeah, warlock for Marathi,
Andy. Okay. More or less than Horus? Less. Less
than Horus. Less warlock. She does also do some
studying and stuff like that. Wizard. Yeah, no.
He had to learn magic properly. He is innately
very powerful and gifted with magic, but he's
more of a wizard. Manfred is also a wizard. He's
a sorcerer, I think. He spent a lot of the time
after the first vampiric war explicitly traveling
around, looking for the books of Nagash, looking
for magical lore to learn more spells. He is
an innate magical creature, though, being a vampire.
He is, but you can be a vampire and not be able
to use magic. Almost all of them can, but Luthor
Harkon does exist. So a mostly non -magical vampire
can exist. Most, yeah, fair enough then. So I'd
say wizard. Barbarian. Yes, that is an actual...
Ironhide. Then he's saying much more than that.
Yeah. Ironhide is literally a barbarian. More
so than Gazgol, honestly. Gazgol can think. Yeah,
I did put him there. More... He grew out of my
hide. Oh, Malekith. Alright, because Eli's not
here. Hal. Can you say why he should be the true
Phoenix Lord? Do you want to do that? Because
the law says so. That's the real answer. That's
the real answer that Cullen hates. I'd say he's
a sorcerer because he kind of grows his power.
He's a bit more of a hybrid. He's not really
like a pure wizard. He can do magic, but obviously
he's deadly in combat as well. I'd honestly say
more fighter. Yeah, to be fair, he's not really
known for his magic that much. He is the Witch
King, though. Surely Sorcerer. Because Sorcerers
often are... No, not Warlock, really. Shout out
to the time he said, I learned this from my father
and then backhanded his mother. Oh, no. Base
Department? Hello? Is it Anarion? Yeah, he learned
that from Anarion and then beat his mother. That
Nagash. That's Nagash. Well, that is the wizard.
Yeah. The great necromancer. Technically, he
would be literally the necromancer class. Which
is a wizard subclass. Yes, he is a arsehole.
If you can resurrect other wizards to fight with
you, surely that makes you better than a wizard.
He's just the highest level wizard. He's not
summoning better wizards. He's just summoning
more. Well, no, a better wizard could die and
you could resurrect them. That makes you better
than the better wizard because you resurrected
them. Unless they like, if you were to fight
them, they obliterate you. Maybe not. Yeah. But
then if they don't, then you're like necromancy
bitches. I don't know. I don't know. It's just
like saying I have more money than you. I'm better
than you. That's a druid, because they're hybrids.
He turned into dragons. I feel like druid is
the easy one. Shifters. Pretty nice and easy
there. Who is that? Cetra. He does not serve,
but where would he be best? He kind of is a fighter,
though. As much as he is a ruler, Cetra can...
Fighter or cleric? No. I don't think Cleric suits
him as much as... He did kill all of his kids
for the gods and sacrifice. And he had a lot
of children. How many? I don't know if they gave
us a number, but it was many. Is he a spellcaster?
It was at least double digits. I don't think
he's a spellcaster, is he? No, he is. He decided...
Well, he didn't really learn as the thing, but
he also wasn't born magic. He was just like,
other people can do magic, which means other
people can do things that I can't, and that's
not allowed. Okay. So he just basically decided
he was a wizard now. Would you say he's a paladin
then? He's kind of like an undead paladin. Paladin,
yeah. Paladin's not bad. He has faith in himself,
which is what gave him his powers. For all he
needs, he's faith in himself. Who dis, Colin?
That's Tyrion. He's a fighter. He is elf fighter
guy. D fighter. He has a sword. Literally, he's
like he's in the 2000s thing. Oh, Mazda Bundy
is a sorcerer by D &D rules. Innately. He's born
magic. He's a slon. They come out knowing just
how to do magic and that's that. they don't need
to learn if i was like i feel like this this
is how i see you in the warhammer if you see
me as a slalom is that is that what you looked
is that what i looked like when i was passed
out on your couch no i'm just like how he he
was wise and he knew stuff and he was a frog
the frog is charismatic as well he wasn't moody
is not charismatic He's Lizard Hitler. Oh no!
How? How could you? Thanquil? My beloved? I really...
No, he is a... He acts like a rogue. Where are
we going? Is he a bard? The way Grey Seers work,
you could argue they're warlocks, but... You
could also argue cleric and wizard. Because grey
seers are also like priests of the horned rat.
I'm going to need some more direction than this.
He's technically a wizard. I don't fucking know.
There's like five that I'm all equally thinking.
How many bone rippers has he made? A lot. But
he isn't a cleric. He buys them. You have to
be very... He doesn't make them, though. Well,
you have to convince people to make them. That's
cleric energy right there, surely. I have to
say, I think he's a sorcerer. He technically
was born. The fact that he has horns, he's born
with magic. That's what makes him special. Sorcerer,
but it can be a lot of things. None of them good,
but... There's no category for the C word as
well, but that would be his. Moving on. Archaon.
That's a paladin. That's a dark paladin. Yeah,
I'd say dark paladin. There's a lot of people
in this dark paladin tier. Yeah, I mean, that's...
If you're a champion of Chaos, you are literally
sponsored by entities. Chaos sponsored by...
Elvita. What? I see Franz, and that is THE bard.
That is THE bard. That is a man who held together
the Empire. purely by spitting games your force
of will and charisma we shall unite we must not
be blinded by our power yeah yeah yeah you know
that works he's saying short each of us have
a choice make the right one yeah fair enough
translate She's fine. There's been a second Miao
Ying. A second Miao Ying has hit the... We say
there's Miao Ying and the other one, her brother.
Pretend it's Xiao Ming. Yeah, he's dressing in
red right now. Wolfric. Wolfric. He doesn't really
have a rage thing. He's not really a barbarian.
I guess he's a ranger. I can see ranger. I can
see ranger. Why? He travels the world in his
magical boat that is a reference to something
in Norse mythology. I just don't remember off
the top of my head. You could be Lillia or something
like that. Yeah, man. Dude, big Norse. Nailed
it. I think he's literally called Wulfric the
Wanderer. Yeah, he's going all around the world.
He ranges. He ranges on the range field because
of his rifle. Ranger, let's go Ranger. I like
Ranger. Ranger has a subclass called Monster
Hunter also. Yeah, that's true. Leon Lowenkor's
got to be a paladin. I mean, yeah, he's pretty
paladin. Yeah. All right. Sorry, Mike. That's
all you get. Felix, Bard. Bard. Yeah, there's
nothing else he could be. All right. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry this is really anticlimactic, but then,
like, fighter? We ended up barbarian. Why not
fighter? Because he's afflicted by terrible rage.
He just yells and goes... Because he did a lot...
Because we haven't gotten to his backstory yet,
but what we do, he does some barbaric shit. Well,
so we've had a difference of opinion. Leon Kerr
is a warlock. Discuss. No. Nah. You can have
Celestial Patrons. They don't need to be Eldritch
Monsters. That actually is not terrible. Technically,
because, yeah, it's the Lady of the Lake he's,
like, hacked into. You know, you are instructed
to be, you know, good. But Paladins get their
power from a deity, and he gets his power from
the Lady of the Lake. He makes the choice to
make, like, worship to that. But it is also like
there is a pact. There are pretty explicit things
you need to do as a grail knight. Hmm. It's kind
of a weird... Maybe it should be a warlock. There
are celestial warlocks. A god can make a warlock.
I just don't really think he's a paladin because
he's literally a knight. He's a literal knight.
That is also the easy thing, yeah. He's literally
the thing. He's the most paladin on that list.
Yeah. I could see the argument for Warlock though.
I don't hate that idea. I'd say we nailed that.
I think we nailed that pretty good. I'd say that
was pretty good. A lot of vitriol in the comments
about where I put Tyranids. Yes, I'm not crazy.
I've got more receipts. I've got more receipts.
They eat people. Andy, I'll leave it at this,
basically. It's not the word barbarian or how
we use it in English. It's literally the class
in Dungeons and Dragons. Violence? It doesn't
encompass it perfectly. Andy, have you ever played
D &D? Does playing Baldur's Gate count? No. Well,
it's D &D franchise. So yeah, it does. It's just...
We need to leave it at this. It's like the Baneblade
story all over again. What if we went out of
rage and charged the Baneblade together? One
day, Hal became Gabriel, Seth, and cut off Andy's
head with the Eviscerator and said, Sharp Andy,
you're wrong. But we do have some donations.
Would you like to read this one, Hal? Robert
Smith. Thank you, man, for $4 .99. The first
thing I hear after joining the stream is Colin
yelling. Seems like things are going well. Yeah,
we were pretty level -headed. Hey, JTownsend.
Do you want to read this one, Colin? Sure. Great.
Thank you for the 20 -year Australian. Greetings,
Lord Grimes. No Aussie lore for today as your
boy has been drinking all night celebrating a
friends and great engagement. Last night was
howdy howdy. Let's get rowdy. So enjoy the money
and have fun, lads. Appreciate it, chief. Thank
you very much. Thank you. GSC law propagandist
has been a member for seven months. Only high
fleet Baymoth are barbarian. Well. behemoth with
a hammer blow kraken were clandestine and then
leviathan have been very much a mix of the two
so and then there's the splendid feats there
goes the next tier list the next tier list will
be each primark's um star sign and we'll definitely
argue yeah uh astra nice thank you uh 50 pln
not sure what that is uh i just paid to say Pal,
you need to re -read the book. Paladins draw
power from oaths, not gods. Fake fan! And a god
can very easily go, you're done, you broke the
oath, get the fuck out of my sight, and no more
paladin powers. Yeah, like, the oath seals the
pact to the, you know, the power doesn't come
from the oath itself. It's the thing that seals
the power. is the source of the power. And it
doesn't necessarily need to be a god troop, but
like, 99 % of time, you know. Yeah. Power comes
from the bladder, not the balls. Am I right?
Paladin's my favourite class as well. I just
like being a brick. I just like being a brick
and healing people. I like Barbarian and Wizard,
but I like Wizard because I like the Grease spell.
Is it Ancient Paladin? What's the one where you
use the nature one? I can't remember. It's been
a while since I've played Dungeons and Dragons,
but I do like Paladin. I just don't like being
squishy. The idea of being squishy and your character
is going to get cleaved. What class is Dritz?
He's a ranger. I'd be a ranger then. Dutch knows.
Grease smell. I am the grease wizard. Well, with
that said, thank you all so much for joining
with our shenanigans tonight. I'd also like to
thank Colin specifically because I think Colin
knew the most about this particular crossover.
And also you should check out Dungeons No Work
because it's in the log. Dutch is here again.
Perfect timing. Dutch is here and he does the
editing helping. He's a Dutchman. Throw cheese
at him. The Dutch is its own class in D &D. You
just speak funny language. I'm just kidding.
Thank you all so much for your support and thank
you much for watching. We've got one more donut.
We've got one more that snuck through the net.
Raw6668 for five bucks. Got an idea for the question
of the week. what dnd class and subclass you
play and which one my character in the tier would
you hand what would you hang out i guess i'd
hang out with we usually do that on our podcast
episodes but to fair yeah we should put um hashtag
d and d which class would um well yeah at some
point yeah hashtag d and d i know not this episode
but we'll save it we'll save it we'll save it
for next time yeah all right thank you so much
for listening guys for watching and we'll see
you guys all in the next episode peace bye everybody
everyone