Hello, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
and welcome to Law Crimes. Hello, everybody.
Hope you're doing well. We got the memo. We will
all wear a green hat. That was the rule. I'm
going to start. I've got a nice little number
here, a little beret. It is green. Colin, would
you like to talk about your hat? Yes. Look, there
it is. There it is. I'm sorry. This is the best
I had. Look, there is green on this hat, though.
Tell me there isn't green on this hat. It's true.
I don't know if that makes it a green hat, but
it is a hat with green on it. The first two seasons
of The Mandalorian are goaded. True. Then it
gets real bad. And then it gets bad, and then
the book of Boba Fett was both mid and also half
not even about Boba Fett. That hurts my soul,
that. I know I had a more green hat upon me.
I'm reading the chat. Look, I know I had it.
I don't know where it went. I'm sorry. I have
an offering of... I have a green screen behind
me, which is making it look less green, because
that's the most green thing. Oh, yeah. I have
a green room. Really? She lives in green. If
he wears any more, he'll just... Miami night
outfit is killing me. He'll blend in. I have
a green beanie for the audio listeners because
this is actually my favourite hat as well. Why?
Why? It's warm. It just is. There you go. Eli.
Very pointy. A nice army hat from Japan itself.
Well in Japan. I have a Warhammer tournament
tomorrow in the countryside, so I'll be wearing
this hat. That's mainly why I got it. And then
it happens to be Green Hat Day. So it's very
convenient. Wow. Julius Julius, if you remember
him on the channel, has painted a tiger shark
for me. So that's exciting. I'll be playing with
that. It is Tao, but it's nice that he put the
effort in. Yeah, that is disgust me. Speaking
of discussing. uh things welcome everyone to
law crimes almost said large cars there andy
um everyone today is another fabulous episode
we are of course uh if you guys want to watch
the live stuff all the good things you know we
are um offline as well live you can watch it
on our well our discord has the link so if you
have all the donations and all that good stuff
all the horrific things you get us to say out
loud that's all on uh in our discord it's all
on youtube all that good stuff and then of course
we're on spotify and all that Good stuff. But
today we've brought an offering because Primarchs,
they're boring. Gilliman, get him out of here.
Ultramarines? I'm going to talk about shit about
Ultramarines because Matt Ward will thunderstrike
my house. He'll literally make me disappear.
As is right and just. As is right and just. We
brought an offering of some obscure Space Marine
chapters that are weird. or simply uh we should
state if you have ever like i think most people
have had a good time they look through like the
um the lexiconum or the the wiki and stuff like
that and they go like oh man there's so many
like cool chapters there's a lot of them that
just say they are known for their like was it
the quote like they're resolute oh they're merciless
and they're strong so they're grim and they're
merciless and they always are indomitable Or
they have a super secret -y, secret -y secret
that nobody knows. Oh, they don't like known
aliens. Oh, bad. Yeah, they're extremely xenophobic,
which is wild for Warhammer, clearly. But today
we've brought an offering of some more, like,
maybe these are some chapters some of you guys
have heard of, but we have brought some ones
that the average schmo may not have come across.
And there's some kind of interesting ones. Sometimes
they cook. sometimes sometimes they've cooked
a bit uh sorry possum has shown up in the uh
the chat for the uh listeners here he says don't
spoil too many obscure chapters otherwise pancreas
won't have jeopardy questions to miss damn colin
how do you respond to that your your piss poor
quiz performances recently oh it's possum so
he sucks and he's dumb and i don't care wow Wow.
We also love him, don't worry. Andy. Let's not
piss about anymore. Should we get straight into
talking about... Because this man knows every
single Space Marine chapter, most likely. Oh,
Zenon was like, oh, this must be great for you.
I'm like, I didn't pick the topic. It was Hal's
idea. I was just like, okay, fair enough. And
don't forget, folks, you could watch my 20 -hour
video if ever you get stuck. So don't worry.
It's all in there. But I thought I'd start us
off with an offering of one of my favorites,
which is very obscure. which is the Crimson Castellans.
And I tried to make them in Space Marine too.
Unfortunately, they don't have a tower with a
skull on it. It's a very weird logo. And these
guys, they had a portion of their chapter were
corrupted by chaos during 993 .1041. Then the
loyalists hunted them down to a world, hive world
called Sephrax. And then they were beset by a
splinter of high fleet Leviathan called Jormungandr.
Then their chapter master. and his first company
all died in the underhive of herventa the renegades
fled to the asteroid belt above and they have
a arch commodore called blood spite so oh that's
a fun name a fun name um they all died because
then another high fleet of kraken intervened
so two high fleets converged on their like the
world they were defending Then they had to abandon
their homeworld of Vorsecunda because it was
infected by a gray phage. But my favorite thing
about them is their recruitment. Because every
10 years, every decade, they recruit from about
five different worlds. And they inhabit this
place called the Valadin system. And this was
where it was invaded by the Kraken and the Leviathan.
They love defensive warfare. They use kill boxes
to kill enemies. But the best thing about this
chapter is they create not just crimson castles
on all the worlds they inhabit, but they also
open vineyards because these guys have a hobby
and they're all winos. They like drinking wine.
They activate their gene seed by, quote, drinking
gallons of wine when they're neophytes laced
with pseudo hormones to activate their gene seed.
and they drink from granite goblets and they
drink with the chapter serfs and they like let
them drink wine with them and all their eyes
are yellow and they're incredibly xenophobic
but no one's perfect and there's a thing what
do you do i kill i may my purge but i also like
a little little merlot little pinot grigio and
i think that's kind of quaint there's a whole
chapter of wine guys oh nice the power of alcoholism
yeah um They even were helped by an Eldar from
being exterminated. There you go, Colin. When
their home system was invaded. Interesting. They
basically were like, oh, we have 40 billion people
to protect. Best I can do is 700k. So about less
than a million survived the twin high fleet attack.
And they had a random lottery. So they didn't
go only the rich, only the ecclesiarch. They
were like, we do a lottery. Whoever gets a win
gets a win. And then there was an Eldar called
Isarion the Dispossessed. And this is an agent
of Azaman who went like, oh, I'm just going to
help BRB. And at the end of the campaign, after
seven weeks of conflict, he's just like, I will
help you and like the majority of your chapter
serfs. And I think it was like only a small handful
of space marines escaped. And now they're a spacefaring
chapter because they lost their homeworld. But
yeah, I just think they're kind of like funny
where it's like they've got the Witcher eyes.
they're like winos and they are still around
i think we haven't seen any primaris variants
of them the one pieces of art you get that one
where it's like all the like space marines staring
forward they have that art and then the other
one is like a death watch guy who has a beard
and like that's all we get like oh i want to
hear more about the merlot marines that'd be
fun so that's my first offering the crimson castellans
Not gonna lie, that's been really hard to top.
Colin? Yeah, I haven't even heard of those guys
before. That's pretty cool. That is pretty good.
You're in my house now. You know when someone
says, like, you know, you do, like, you think,
like, as you get older, you go, like, oh, I need
to spend my time. Like, if I, all the time I
spent on my phone, I could have spent learning
a language or blah, blah, blah. You know, like,
you kind of go, like, oh, I could be more efficient.
Learning Space Marine chapters has somehow panned
out for Andy so much that Andy turned into money.
It's amazing. Oh, man. Sorry, Colin, go ahead.
I was interrupting. The Genesis chapter. I knew
it. You should have known. I mean, come on now.
Are they not peak? Are they not the best thing
ever? Are they not amazing? Now look, now look.
Listen, hear me out, hear me out. Hear me out.
Oh, we're listening, what? All right, I'm just
making sure. Okay. The Ultramarines are cool,
but sometimes even they lose. Sometimes even
they take pretty grievous losses. You know, first
Tyrannic War, they had a second company, or no,
they had a first company, and then they didn't,
and then they did not have a first company any
longer, right? Oof. Someone's got to fill those
losses. Someone's got to fill those losses up,
you know? So, what if we had a whole chapter
of spares for the Ultramarines? And thus was
born the Genesis chapter. That is it. That is
why these guys are great. But their colors are
nowhere near, like, Ultramarines. But you see,
that's part of the genius, right? The Genesis
chapter is a very red chapter. But... You got
to consider how, remember? I mean, nowadays,
if a black Templar's doing it, the lion's back,
I'm sure no one's going to complain. But for
most of the Imperium's history, Legion building
was a big no -no. But if you paint them red,
that's the opposite of blue. And you say they're
a different chapter. We're not Legion building.
We're not using these as just an army of reserves.
So true. Yeah. So true. Didn't they get a little
bit of a highlight in, one, the Nightlord's Omnibus,
but also the... The Dark Imperium books? Am I
remembering that correctly? Yeah, I believe they
were made one of the S .H .I .E .L .D. chapters.
Let me double check that, actually. I don't remember
it from... I remember the Night Lords trilogy
one, because the... Well, yeah, so highlight
is a very strong word for their appearance in
the Night Lords. But no, yeah, they are one of
the S .H .I .E .L .D. chapters of Ultramar, so
hey, they're important again. They're working
right alongside their blue boys and their big
blue brothers. I think there's a quote in the
Nightlord's Trinity one. They attack one of the
Nightlord ships, well, the First Claw and their
stuff on Sogwalsa, which is like the planet that
became their homeworld after they nuked their
own homeworld. And there's a Genesis chapter,
like, I don't know, is he like hero or something
or champion? And he has a Thunder Hammer and
he proceeds to just completely decimate. all
of the nightlaws in front of him and the only
way and then he faces off the character called
zaal who's actually the champion of the um nightlords
group and i think the genesis chapter got i don't
remember the exact word he says to him he says
like he points like his dead brothers around
him and he says like my friends died with honor
and blah blah and then the guys all just goes
oh this is this is first claw and they're all
cowards and then zaal grabs Talos's like, what
is it? His like Blood Angel's blade and his like
200 chainsaw and just proceeds to absolutely
ball it out this Genesis chapter guy. And I believe
Zal does win, but then the Thunder Hammer Strike
does in fact kill him like about three seconds
after the fight. Look, that guy probably wasn't
going to be promoted to Ultramarine. He was not
getting that honor. I think he killed quite a
few of the Night Lords around him. He outclassed
all of the guys in the First Claw. There were
four of them attacking him. He just knocked them
all back. There's a quote from Awanda and Azad.
He says to Talos, did you get hit with a Thunder
Hammer? And he's like, maybe. My helmet got knocked
back. He says, no. You did not get hit with a
Thunder Hammer, because if you were hit with
a Thunder Hammer, you'd be dead. There'd be nothing
left of you. But no. Admittedly, they might not
have gone on too many grand campaigns, but there
is the general lore blurb of they work with the
Ultramarines a lot, so if the Ultramarines are
doing something, you can probably find them right
behind. Fair enough. And, you know, again, I
just like them because, again, I'm sorry. It's
just so funny to me that what is your chapter's
purpose reserves for a cooler one. Eli, did you
have one that comes to mind? Because you mentioned
that you liked something quite obscure. I had
to dig pretty deep to remember any obscure Space
Marine chapters. It's been a long freaking time
since I touched any of that stuff. But I know
that Jade Dragons from... the Damocles books.
I don't know if they show up in any other books.
I don't think they have a lot. It doesn't seem
like any of you guys are into that. I don't even
know. I haven't even heard of them. They're in
one of the books of He Who Should Not Be Named.
Phil Kelly? Yeah. But they're actually really
cool. They're just like they operate in small
little groups of dudes and they're these hyper
superstitious omens seeking vision looking guys
uh and they're always seeking out the black leviathan
which is just chaos basically but they search
for the leviathan in like um you know omens and
stuff so where which way my blood might splatter
or if someone's wearing some weird clothing they'll
be like oh the leviathan and then the guys will
confirm if we see it as well and then they all
work together to stop black leviathan uh That's
pretty much it. That's their whole gimmick. But
they're pretty cool. They believe that the Emperor
is guiding them through signs and weird, wacky
ways of understanding chaos and stuff. And I
think that's pretty neat. They work pretty much
independently, just in small, individual groups.
That's pretty much it. Is there any hint of the
color scheme? I don't remember. Green, I think.
They are called the Jade Dragons, after all.
I'll check. It wouldn't have been the first time.
Warhammer's a bit of a trend of, like, sometimes
they name stuff confusingly, and then the ones
I get, like, weirded out by, someone's got a
really cool name and the most boring color scheme
you've ever seen. According to Lexicanum, they're
black and jade. So, I mean, that's pretty reasonable.
This is so cool. I mean, you know, black goes
well with anything. Yeah, yeah. It looks like
they're in a novella called The Black Leviathan.
Unless that is the one that I already read. That's
the Damocles book, sorry. That is the only place
that they're in. Nice. It's not written by Ben
Counter, not Phil Kelly. That's why there's something
cool in one of these Damocles books. What has
Ben Counter done, Andy? We know him. Ben Counter's
done the Soul Drinker stuff. He did Battle of
the Abyss. He's done the Lysander Burbs. He did
Galaxy in Flames. That was it. He's done like
a bunch. That's a veteran. I have an offering.
I'm starting out small because I'm going to get
to the more interesting ones. Do you guys like
Iron Hands? Per chance. Oh good. Perhaps. um
i have an offering of what i think is something
quite cool the only thing that lets you down
is uh maybe we'll have to get a picture of it
if we do an edit or something but the most disappointing
color scheme you've perhaps ever seen um imagine
a space marine is black except just the legs
are red like that that's the big thing just the
legs are red It's so fucking disappointing. Is
that all you have for me? But they are called
the Iron Lords. And they only, these guys, as
a Space Marine chat, okay, someone else, like,
I beg GW, please give these guys a better colour
scheme, because they need something to match
kind of this coolness they have going, which
is... Space Queen chapters are designed to go
out, some of them are spacefaring, some of them
go and defend certain areas like Ultramar or
whatever. These guys don't do that. They have
one job. They blockade this one group of planets,
basically called the Grendel Stars. The Grendel
Stars? Yeah. They only have one person, one enemy
they fight. I'm not going to lie. When I first
heard of this a few years ago, I thought it was
the Bargussi. It is actually, in fact, called
the Vile. You know, like when Elden Ring happened
and someone goes like, Bail! Vile! Bail! It stays
there called the Vile Bargussi. When I had to
look these guys up, they look like just dogs.
They're just dogs. They look like... They're
like dog sharks. Yeah. They're ugly. And Xenos.
Disgusting. But apparently this chapter's sole
job is to fight these dogs. They are fighting
sentient princess. The race. And... Yeah. The
thing is, they've had some issues. Their whole
thing is that they just... Apparently... They
fight these guys. because their whole point like
they just need to keep these xenos contained
not eradicated apparently it requires a whole
chapter just to keep them contained which obviously
means princess is trying to break out of like
the pen or something i don't know but uh they
have fought surrounding enemies like high fleet
kraken other like it basically if someone goes
near where they exist they will like fight them
off uh and if i remember correctly Their biggest
fear was that the hive mind slash the Tyranid
mass would assimilate Bargesi into it, because
obviously it can absorb the DNA from anything
it eats. So they were particularly worried if
they ate these guys, they would make Tyranids
even stronger. So I don't even imagine how apparently
strong these Xenos they're fighting are. So apparently
that's the only time they were like, hey guys.
we actually have to look outside the tent rather
than inside the tent and um it gets better because
these poor iron hands who you know iron hands
never get any success for us us apparently um
they uh have just been told apparently the only
new recent law is since imperium nihilist they're
basically uh they're cut off no one's helping
them uh they're ticking down their resources
and the obar gessi is starting to rise up So,
fuck. That's it. Very nice. Iron Hands have maybe
the most Nothing Burger successor chapters in
Warhammer. These guys sound pretty neat. The
rest of the successor chapters for Iron Hands,
even like Raising Claws and stuff, feel like
maybe a 30k lore, but their 40k lore is complete.
What's the... the one that there was a pamphlet
and everyone's like still brethren where they
were like is this chapter real still confessors
that's the one yes so there was that whole thing
and then there's the uh sons of medusa they're
pretty cool they've got like the the free their
their chapter symbol has three different color
schemes depending on which of the three companies
it's like silver on green black on green or green
on black something like that or silver on black
and yeah they're kind of fun um You need more
than different color schemes to convince me that
they're cool. Knights of Byzantium are purple.
That's pretty cool. The Greek boys. Throw a whole
kebab down my neck. That shit is so tasty. Sorry,
apologies. Should we read some donations? Should
we bail Hal out of that? I stand by it. Stand
by it. To start us off, Tybros, the colorblind
wake, has been a member for 10 months. My first
home, lads. Process is ass, though. Well done.
Process is agonizingly awful. Process is indeed
ass. They don't want us folk to be buying houses,
and they make it real hard. But congratulations.
Congratulations. I would like this one. I think
it was $5. I don't know if I said that right.
that's quite the pfp the butcher's nails could
be temp sated by killing why didn't the emperor
give anger on a john grammaticus chew toy is
he stupid kind of a kind of a crazy idea kind
of a good idea it's kind of cooking though ah
thank you donkey man you say every time matt
this is you might have been doing this for multiple
years at this point i appreciate it man thanks
for the five bucks stream 90 to how gooning with
the Jorkinators chapter is definitely a real
obscure chapter. The mantra is we pull our pud.
Oh no. Oh, and again, we live and die by your
orders, boss. Wow. Wow. We're all diamond dogs.
The two military assignment board ones are both
on the left hand side. I wore a green hat this
week. After 56 weeks and over 150 pounds. That's
great. I correct it now. You're all finally wearing
a green hat. Now it's time to reveal my grand
plan. Oh, no. Andy, would you like to read it?
Wearing a green hat is a Chinese saying for a
man whose wife is cheating on them. Yes, even
you, Colin. Techless is not bearing your child.
It's mine. Eli, you got us. We've all been cucked.
We've all been cucked by this guy. He's cucked
everyone. I already had this in my wardrobe.
I'm already cheating on myself. I killed my wife.
She can't do that. If you had to survive off
of eating a faction in Warhammer, what would
you eat? Why and what would they taste like in
your opinion? Squig. Squigburger. You mean like...
I'd eat Squigburger. That's like the only not
cannibal option, basically. You can't eat Tyranids,
you'd probably die. Don't they eat them sometimes?
I don't know. It feels dangerous. It kind of
feels weirdly wrong. I don't want to eat Gretchen.
They're gross. You can't eat Necrons. The crew
tried that and it didn't go very well. I feel
like eating a cow is like eating a puppy. It's
fundamentally morally wrong. Crazy. I bet Eldar
is some nice sweet meat. Eldar might be pretty
good. Hey yo, hey yo. He's wearing a green hat
and he's saying shit like that. You don't want
to eat a grot because of the grot toe jam. Gross.
Thank you. Did we read that? The last one you
have is green. Ooh, let me find it. I'll find
this one. But for now, Beastman from Sweden has
become a member for 25. Thank you, brother. Thank
you very much. Was it yellow? Was it one before
that? Yes, I found it. I will read after this
one. Zenon, two. Thank you. The Scar Lord's famous
for dying to Oshova. Tau W. Tau W indeed. One
of the slightly better. Less worse farsighted
books. I was going to talk about them. They're
kind of nothing murder though. Keep muting. Yeah.
Yeah. I was just reading it ahead really quick.
Chaos spawn 227 with the 10. Behold my incredibly
unique chapter, the Sentinel Wardens. They're
known for having absolutely no secrets and fighting
with tactics approved in the Codex Astartes.
They protect civilians when possible. Space Marine
chapter that's called the Slammer Lammers, and
they're only allowed to hit things with their
hands. What are your tactics? I slam a lamb,
and they just pound you to death with power fists.
Dual wielding. hell yeah man shout out to my
boys dark krakens and red talons those are those
are boys red talons biggest tickets other than
the marines malevolent basically as far as their
personality our krakens are salamanders but in
the water oh and Brain Flare for 10 Australian.
First time managing to watch one of your streams.
Glad to finally see you guys live. Hey, man.
Thanks. Also, shout out to my favorite obscure
chat. I don't do Colin. I don't read ahead. Should
have known. Yeah, see? Yeah, I'm sad, man. Here's
Mr. Beastman from Sweden. 269 sex. Nice to be
able to catch one of your guys' streams again.
I gained a recent appreciation for the Space
Wolves, so I need to mention the Wolf Spear chapter.
Also, shout out to Marines Errant for their weird
color scheme. Oh, yeah, they're fun. Although,
yes, Wolf Spears now also have a little patch
you can get on the Space Marine 2 update, so
you can make your own. I don't know anything
about the Wolf Spears. Literally, their only
lore is they're the only successor chapter. There
was the Wolf Brothers, but they became Gribbly
and now they're gone. So it's just Space Wolves
and then it's Wolfspear, a Primaris. They appear
in a few books. What do you do? We're like you,
but slightly different. In the new Call book,
we fight on their world, I think. uh hello zenon
again serious answer storm warden space cat oh
wait you just you wait zenon just you wait thank
you very much had me first baby love firm oh
congratulations oh congratulations fantastic
a house and a baby in one stream law crimes people
growing up yeah We're like really proud uncles
who are just like, oh, yeah. Were you involved
in any way? Not really, but it's nice to see.
One day that child may see Mpreg part of us.
Might be in the house. That is our Mpreg. Why
have you done this to me? One day always we'll
see it, potentially. My poor bloodline. One way
to get back into it. another one i will quickly
mention let me just check my notes is um could
you also check this for me um hal can you check
out what the book is for the dark hunters because
this is this is i just wanted to include this
mainly for this but just so you know they are
white star successes That's right. Their White
Scars successes sighed during the 37th millennium.
They hail from the night world of Phobian. They
were founded by Captain Angnar from the Horus
Heresy White Scars. They were given a power axe
that was said to be used by Jagatai, which they
use as their chapter badge, which is what they
know as the Axe of Justice. They are no joke
how known as being grim and resolute warriors.
It's the meme. The meme. It's called Dark Hunters
Umbra Sumus. Yes. Umbra Sumus. Umbra Sumus is
a whole story where they combat a war band called
the Punishers. Great series. Eminem loved it.
And they have a bad relationship with the Mechanicus
and they hate tech heresy. But here's the fun
fact. Their book, as far as I know, is the rarest
book in Warhammer lore. There's, as far as I'm
aware... only been like 12 i i don't know how
much of this is like hearsay but i've heard there's
like double digits of these have ever been found
and when they go to auction they're worth like
hundreds of pounds because people like has anyone
got this book and there's like 10 people or so
i've gone like i have it on paperback it's like
does anyone else no it's just like a weird little
gimmick in in warhammer law right as far as i'm
aware it's the hardest book to acquire in the
entire law canon Love to see it. Umbrasummas.
So if you do find Umbrasummas, please PO Box
it to the Remembrancer. I'll pay you £10. Please
send me this book. It would be fun. I'll send
you a picture of a corgi. Yes, I will. An actual
corgi, by the way, not like a euphemism for something.
I don't think we were thinking it. No one was
thinking that until you said that horrible sentence.
No, I don't think anyone was. You have gone rogue.
That's a hell of a good name for it, though.
What is it? Get bro away from the stove immediately.
The food has not been cooked, it's been burned.
uh colin did you have another offering of obscurity
i do and this one is actually chapter like a
chapter that you know i'd like for reasons beyond
he he funny ultra marie uh guardians of the covenant
they are a uh no they're a dark angel successor
chapter and they're one of those chapters who
have you know glorified garrison duty because
there's something sufficiently threatening where
they're at uh they stand guard around the halo
stars and at some point held off an invasion
all on their own against the species known as
the lillith that's kind of all there is on that
event that's one of those background hey look
at all the cool aliens we could be showing you
lore events uh but they did it so don't worry
about it Although I do like that lore blur because
it happened in M41 and no one has any records
of it, which is really fucking impressive. Like
if the US just forgot who George Washington was.
You know, that didn't happen all that long ago,
relatively speaking. But no, their chapter icon
is basically like the OG Deathwing icon. You
know, in the Dangles, they were still Legion,
so they've probably got a lot of cool toys with.
They are, in spite of that, listed as being founded
several millennia after the second founding.
But if you'd like a way to kind of reconcile
that little oddity, it's not like the Dark Angels
don't lie. These guys were definitely like a
ninth founding or something. Don't worry about
it. I mean, omitting the truth doesn't necessarily
mean you lie. It's something I remember reading
in one of the Gears of War books by Karen Travis,
where it's like, Just because I don't say the
truth doesn't mean I'm lying. I'm just omitting
things. Yeah, okay. You cheeky boy. Okay. Hmm.
Just because a Dark Angel chapter guy shanks
a guy before he can say the truth doesn't mean
he's lying. He's just not letting him say anything.
That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying.
What about you? Oh, you're not finished. Sorry.
There's more. Okay. No, they've got, they've
kind of got one of their thing is like, they've
almost got like a little bit of everything in
them. Right. Like, you know, they, what is it?
One of their big things is preserving knowledge,
which does sound a little thousand sunsy, but
they also, you know, they take tactics from basically
whoever likes it, you know, like they also on
their chapter banners is also the Codex Astartes.
Because they came to the realization that I wish
more people did. That if you take all the Primarchs
together, you probably get some good wisdom out
of each of them. Or at least a functional human
being. What if we don't just listen to our dad?
And you know, they held off Xeno's invasion all
on their own. They do kind of, you know... burn
down libraries after they're done looting them
so no one else can read the books so you know
that's a little space wolfy of them too uh but
you just look look they get they got you know
i like they got a little bit of everything they're
like vaguely smart you know they're not the mentors
andy but it's like oh you you accept that everyone's
got something you know there's we can take from
everyone i like the guardians of the covenant
also something something getting in the way something's
just about to break Diary of Jane and Halo. They
have Covenant in their name. That might have
been what drew my eye to them at first. That's
also why you're like, I like the Halo dragons
as well. The Halo brethren. Yeah. What about,
have you got any others you'd like to discuss,
Eli? Sure. Maybe I can go through a couple really
quick because they're all nothing burgers. Collins
got me thinking I was mistaken. I was thinking
of the Covenant of Fire. Not that I really remember
anything about these guys, but I know they're
a salamander successor and one of the many Sustosomogas
Primaris marine lines that called me. And they're
definitely just war bears that are salamanders.
I think they really like books and they really
like burning other books. That's all I remember
about them. Oh, and they're very secretive. They're
very secretive. And then I think, I don't know.
It sounds like if you put salamander and word
bear together, burning book sounds right up their
alley. Well, I don't know. But anyways, they're
scar Lords, as was mentioned by Xenon. They're
literally their whole thing is that they're ugly.
And then that's it. And they got killed by the
towel. They, their gimmick is that they keep
their scars and they don't let their wounds fully
heal. Because, like, by your scars will you be
judged or something by the emperor. And their
shtick is that they don't wear helmets. So they
sent the guys who don't wear helmets to go fight
the Tau. And unsurprisingly, they died. It's
a Phil Kelly book. I don't know. It was stupid.
Tau prison. Kill them. somebody's uh the guy
who becomes one of the captains of the um ocean
marines he's instead of kato sicarius in that
one uh and then he's speaking to one of them
to give him intel and when the scar lord is speaking
he just kind of drools doesn't he he just sounds
like in the audiobook he's like yeah but that's
like they're in like four books but that's all
their lore they otherwise they're just space
marines who fight the tao yeah their whole that
they're the cannon fodder i think they get completely
just obliterated as well by the end it's like
they're gone sends a missile to their ship when
they're trying to exterminate us but then this
ship blows up i don't know it's a stupid book
it's a stupid series Ridden by a goofball. It's
all just dumb stuff. I don't know. They destroyed
that Gellifield. I think that's one way they
get one of those. I don't know. They destroyed
that Gellifield, I'm sure. At least in something.
I think you're right. What's his name? Bravestorm.
Bravestorm sneezes on them when they invade Farsight's
ship. He beats them up, which is cool. Yeah,
I don't know. There's nothing else to say about
these guys. And then lastly, I'll say one more
really quick one. Another, one more Susus Amogus
Primaris chapter that most people probably know
about nowadays are the Sons of the Phoenix, who
are definitely emperor's children pretending
to be imperial fists. They're very zealous, and
they're obsessed with crusading. but crusading
really well and being perfect about it and perfectly
purging the foe and looking really pretty their
armor is unblemished and shiny and nice and they're
very sound tactically and have the perfect ways
of war and blah blah blah so they're that's nice
there's more more chaos guys there was in the
silent king book uh just the other day i was
reading and pretty sure call yeah call mentions
that he reforged the lines of 18 space marine
chapter 18 primarks or whatever so it's pretty
much confirmed that he there's some stuff going
on there much to gilliman's protest he's like
call there's there's three random goofballs for
you i have an offering you guys might have heard
of this these guys Because they kind of have
the cooler, like, chapter symbol and name. Does
the name Death Spectres jump out at the boys?
Oh, it does. I know about the Death Spectres.
Yeah. Yeah, so we're talking 13th Cursed Founding,
Raven Guard Successors, and they're kind of...
I've noticed I've had a bit of a theme so far.
They have one job, also, which seems to be they
are in the Ghoul Stars, which, I mean, Colin,
do you want to explain what the Ghoul Stars briefly
are? It's just a bit of the galaxy that's just
absolutely fucking terrible. It's just everything
in there sucks. Like, a Tyranid Hive fleet went
in there by accident once and came out mutated.
And it should be noted that they can get lost
in the warp and not come out mutated. Like, whatever
the hell is in there is awful. It's the galaxy
-wide version of Detroit. Damn. Something's wrong
with this area. They kind of were founded by
their weird leader whose name I actually have
to write down because I don't want to name off
heart. Corkadus. This guy was apparently like,
the emperor sent me a Snapchat, guys, and we
need to go to the ghoul stars. So they find this
weird world and they find this strange throne.
And then they also find this weird artifact that
is called the sharinks, which is in my, when
I first heard it, I thought it was like a cat
food company, to be honest. It sounds like something,
but which I quite enjoy, like the, they imply
it's some, what kind of Lovecraftian, like something
is really wrong with it. And, Basically, their
main shtick is that they guard the ghoul stars
and particularly this artifact. And the way they
do this is that the chapter master goes, you
know, basically in their chapter, we should say
they're like basically all black. They're like
bone colored shoulder pads and they have like
scythes and a skull as their symbol. And when
you get promoted, someone goes, so you're the
chapter master now. Great. Time to die. So the
chapter master goes to sit on a throne of glass
and just basically will never leave it and will
stay on this throne until they die, which implies
that the throne just basically slowly kills the
chapter master. And this somehow acts like a
conduit or like a prison. It helps imprison whatever
thing they are trying to prevent being unleashed.
And weird enough that apparently the it is so
like vague in which it's like the Shirex like
makes the chapter master have like more power,
which apparently in quotes is vital to maintain
their watch over the ghoul star. So I assume
that some kind of way to maybe like see the whole
system like navigate without necessarily. being
obscured by the warp or whatever other horrific
things lie in that area again but the chapter
master will slowly die uh and then so you're
probably thinking the chapter master does he
talk uh no but yes uh because apparently he's
decided he only really speaks like either the
first captain or the chief librarian it wasn't
really clear uh i assume it probably is the chief
librarian who like acts as a conduit for the
first captain who's probably like that's where
i'm fucking going next you know i'm fucked you
know so he's like staring like that's my next
seated position i gotta choose a good uh gotta
choose a good you know position i wasn't gonna
get neck ache or something but yeah like the
weird part is like the the despectors they also
are a bit of a theme with uh chapters assholes
Massive, massive arseholes. Because it said that
they don't care. Somebody clip that. Clip that.
Yeah. Clip massive arseholes. But they don't
care. Like, there are some human, like, colonies
or, like, you know, outposts in the Ghoul Stars.
They will not fight really to defend them because
they consider their main goal to be, like, defending
this kind of relic or preventing this alien or
this Xenos threat that... periodically, when
the Black Templars are summoned to help fight
it or something, periodically they'll come and
cleanse it or whatever. They only care about
people in the sense of recruits for the chapter.
So if everyone looks to the sky in the Ghoul
Stars, they're like, we're saved! You're not
saved. They're ducking in. Under new management.
Yeah, they're ducking in and they're ducking
out. They're like, sorry guys, we're just here
to collect up the the little um orphanage and
then we're out you know we don't care about you
um but apparently they have one objective which
is their founder mr marin corcadus uh in this
throne of glass he's supposedly like supposed
to come back to like those stories like some
kind of great resurrection they call it and yeah
like it's very vague like there's like some sacrifices
or like and i don't know like it's kind of bizarre
like it's meant to be i guess intentionally vague
um but yeah uh there's a cool thought part about
these guys which are kind of finishing off which
is they um their first company is known as the
war geists so continuing the death theme uh which
kind of reminds me of um vargeists in the You
summon the Vargeist. He's awoken. The trauma
bond for Vargeist. The Wargeist is like there.
And they also kind of, they copy the Death Guard
here and they wield a power size in battle, which
is kind of cool. So if anyone's out there and
they're kit bashing these guys, because they
kind of a cool, I should say, they're not really
black. They have like a very, like very brown,
dark gray, but it looks quite cool. on their
armor uh and that's kind of the uh the death
specters though they again they are raven guards
so they are mopey uh but they you know they kind
of live in like you said they live in like a
very dangerous area they have like i like the
mystery surround these guys they have like a
mystery that sounds quite cool uh if someone
does ever make a book about these guys i will
read it immediately because it sounds amazing
Yeah, that's my offering. I think we have any
more of the... Was there any other donations
we need to get through? Yeah, we got a few. Thank
you, guys. Nurgle's Jar. Live. Sons of Antaeus.
Yep. Or any other cursed founding chapter. Big
guys. Honorable mention to Blood Ravens. Love
me one. They are not obscure, though. They got
four games on their back. Please, I've never
heard of these guys. Tell me more. Never paint
those doors, Colin. What? I don't know why. That's
the end of the message. What's wrong with the
doors? I don't know. Someone agreed for it to
be yellow, so it looks like that. What's the
rooms? What's it called? Not the escape rooms.
What's the one with that massive yellow? The
back rooms, that's it. Peace, man, from Sweden.
Thank you for the 65 sec. Also need to mention
Angels of Absolution. I was thinking about them
today. One of the few of only Dark Angel's successor
that's like, maybe we've done enough to atone.
They are not well -liked. In fact, in the Phil
Kelly book, the Dark Angels make a deal with
the Tau to let them just kill the entirety of
that chapter. they don't kill the entire primaris
they're just like hey how about we just kill
our own primaris reinforcements we don't want
them to learn our secrets like come on phil come
on this is too hard war of secrets don't read
it spooky kabuki thanks to the firebox man uh
what the hell is andy cosplaying as jill valentine
um i'm the master of unlocking deal with it It's
a reference to Resident Evil. This is for Colin
here, I think. These are always... Hey, you know
what? Never mind. This one was mostly nice. Embryo
Nikyle. I feel like I got that right. Thank you
for the 10. Thank Colin for making me like Warhammer
Fantasy Elves. You're welcome. Also, screw you.
Now I hate the Eldar because they would gladly...
sacrifice millions of elves to save one soul
stone I mean maybe elves if somehow there were
elves and Eldar in the same place I think we
uh I think we skipped some people's uh donations
yes well um there's a donkey man one that we
didn't read they didn't show up in the side a
bit for some reason and I don't think we read
these Aleph the Aleph not one before that yeah
man thank you the three scariest wards and lore
crimes chat might clip that i do loki dread it
to be fair i honestly thought the supercut would
be worse than i thought but it was all right
i just i know like i don't mind to be honest
thanks That is crazy though. Five Canadian just
got here and felt like I turned into a very nerdy
episode of Blackadder. Pretty much, yeah. Who
wants to be Baldrick? Who wants to be Flash Art?
Colin could be Flash Art. He's the one who's
like, well done, it's me! And he's very funny.
I'll be the Jürgen. I'll be the Jürgen to the
Blackadder. Or Jürgen. No, I don't know what
that means. You could be Stephen Fry's character.
The generals will say, he just makes fun noises
and sends men to die. It's funny. It's funny.
Depending on the series though. Anyway, thank
you all for your donations. Sorry that we didn't,
well, that I didn't clock these ones. It's just
for some reason, usually they go into a side
bit where they're all starred and those ones
weren't for whatever reason. And I don't know
why, but it's okay. We fixed it. Well done, Eli,
for keeping an eye out. So with that said, I've
got like a few more. Some are shorter than others.
Do you want me to go through one of the last
longer ones? I've got two more as well, if you
want to switch between. um so i'm gonna do like
i do mentors screw it i like mentors i like mentors
i love mentors and you can't say that around
this because um yeah so they're like my favorite
their home world is unknown no one knows where
they live no one knows where they're from exactly
all we know is they're probably ultramarine successors
stock designated the 888th chapter they replaced
the former star scorpions who used to have the
same heraldry And they're from the 26th founding
of 738M41. Fun fact, they were there since the
beginning of Space Marines. They used to be a
bespoke little unit you could have in your armies,
which was fun. That's no longer a thing in the
tabletop, unfortunately. And their gimmick is
they don't operate like an army. They operate
as specialists. So generally speaking, while
they do have squads of 10 men teams. They are
led by tutors. They have no sergeant classification.
They only have like captains, battle brothers,
and then like chapter masters. They also tend
to operate alone. So much so that like in the
only time they've been in a book, which is Spear
of the Emperor by ADB. There's one, and he's
got two helots, which are specially trained mortals.
And they have digital weapons and all sorts of
fun stuff. And it's one guy who's a space marine
with two mortal accompaniments. They have really
good ties to the Inquisition. They're recognized
as possibly the best trained space marine chapter
ever. Because other than the Grey Knights, they
do missions other chapters can't do. They supplement
other forces rather than wage war. They don't
go, let's send 100 men to kill a hive fleet.
They'll go, let's send one guy to a beleaguered
chapter world or garrison of the Astra Militarum
or Mechanicus Forge world, and he can try and
rally them to do it better. And so they don't
go out on all that wars. They all have genius
levels of strategy and adaptability, memorization.
They have an elite carder as their first company,
though again, They're rarely deploying more than
three to five of them at a time. They have some
of the best gear. And even when they're sent
to the death watch, even when they're part of
a kill team, they work alone. So they'll just
be as far away from all the others as they can
be. And they're like, don't worry, I'm going
to work alone. I'll help the kill team, but in
my own way. And I don't play well with like a
team just because they're just, they're built.
Some people are like, oh, maybe they're alpha
Legion, like sneaky successes, but I don't know
about that. We've been told officially they are
ultramarine stock. Imagine if it was uber -duber
specialists and their drawback is that they can't
fight in a big army. They just send one guy at
a time. I kind of like that. They used to have
a little owl, but now they have a bird's head.
I think they're fun. If they had an owl, that
reminds me of things where things have a wolf
or something, but then uh is it on terror they
mentioned like during the heresy or something
like oh i've never even seen a wolf oh yeah and
they're like they're extinct on terrorists like
we've never even seen a wolf yeah and there's
like a prospero burns like i saw it on the computer
what a dog yeah i saw a dog on the computer oh
okay that's how you know uh i have an offering
this i guess this one isn't the most obscure
but not everyone knows this one which is of course
black dragons just because they're so cool uh
if people don't know uh you guys people listening
they're like salamanders uh yeah you're not getting
that um so these guys are one of the other group
who are part of that 21st curse founding so they're
the ones where uh apparently some magos when
you know guys you know space marines what if
we just fucked them up like what if we just made
it worse um And this is a chapter... I guess
it's like the thing, they don't claim to be salamanders
or something, or they kind of make sure they're
divorced from it. And they have a special problem.
They're mutants. They mutate. This is Wolverine.
Because these poor guys, they have little...
bony gross that come out of like their arms or
even their helmet sometimes and uh yeah and then
sometimes they just randomly like they cover
them with adamantium okay uh and then apparently
sometimes they're retractable as well uh so they
instead of like a guy being like you know oh
i need to have my chainsaw or something bro has
his sword on his arm do they need yeah he uh
there's quite a few of them they were interesting
enough like there are sometimes ones where the
bony gross go out or like it like it goes out
of um what's the word like it goes out of control
and they kind of have like a weird like extra
kind of company uh which they call the dragon
claws which is very uninspiring considering they're
called you know the black dragons um but They
basically, all their armor is black. They have
like a little symbol. It's like a dragon symbol
on their shoulder. And often they don't, when
you see them in artwork, they don't sport the
Aquila on their chest. They kind of have like
a dragon, like symbol across their chest plate.
And whenever people have seen them in stories,
there's a short story. There's a few short stories
ones with them where there's a... person who's
like hiding in a ship that's been taken over
by drukari and then the uh i think it's a lady
or a mac i remember who it is but like a naval
officer or something like is just hiding in the
lower decks and then like the black dragons like
punch into the ship and this person is like oh
a star teaser here and then just goes to look
at them and they're like oh there's like bone
protruding out of them that's horrific um he's
got a boner said the poor fella oh luckily as
well uh apparently uh being a black dragon it
gets worse because sometimes the growths that
happen on them can like they just like obviously
part of the um dragon claws company sometimes
they have guys in it who are like yeah it's too
much even for those things and it's kind of like
a ball or like a hobbling mess and sometimes
also their astartes are enormous just randomly
like they have a huge they just have big dudes
every once in a while uh so they have to like
have like customize their armor every once in
a while uh they are also unlike their salamander
origins not the nicest so like they also what
i find funny they hate the salamanders they just
don't like them at all and there's even like
a story of like i think a blood dragon the black
dragon became uh like like he was rejected by
them and then he became like part of like the
salamanders and then they adopted him they're
like we found a stray yeah and then they tried
to like take him back or something and then one
of the black like blood black dragons got killed
in the fight and they're like okay we're not
no one else is dying for this dude But they appeared
in Armageddon as well. They appeared during the
Third War, I think. They've had a short story.
It might have been the Second War, actually.
I don't know. We'll check it. But one of the
characters written by Mr. Annadale, he has a
Sister of Battle character. He's like, she has
no coven anymore. And no sisterhood. They got
killed and she was found by some of these. Lovely
Astartes. But kind of cool. So if people want
to create a more unique looking chapter for the
board, obviously having bony protrusions as weapons
is kind of a nice thing. Whenever they're in
artwork, they have a very nice crested helm of
a spike, which always looks really cool. I don't
think I'm missing anything else, Andy. Is there
anything cool I miss about them? Did they ever
say Bob? Bob. Yeah, well, you said they're like
Wolverine. Wolverine. But, yeah, I mean, the
whole, like, put adamantium on there, like, bony
protrusions that can retract is so, like, I mean,
yeah. Once again, Warhammer copying homework
there. I can make something that's not cool about
them. They exclusively are written by Nick Kime,
who writes the Salamander's books, and that's
what you'll learn. Oh, no, bro. It's like, uh
-oh. In the bin. In the trash. Yeah. Any more
for any more? Eli or Colin, do you have any others
you'd like to mention? I like the Valedictors.
Oh, Eli, did you have... You could say whatever
that is. They're a first founding legion. Oh,
yes. In original lore, yes. In original Rogue
Trader. I didn't just make that up. I didn't
pull that out of my ass. No, when it was Rogue
Traitor, we knew all 20. What's your logo? Yeah.
And at least at that point, they supposedly,
you know, they were at the ass end of the heresy,
because I think they did just squeak in barely
when there was a Horus heresy, but before they
got retconned out of being a first founding legion.
So they saw... action against not only traitors
but also orcs and eldar and i also just think
it's neat that conceptually the horus heresy
existed at the same time that we knew all 20
original legions uh that's i don't know that's
kind of it i just i don't know i just that's
it's fun little warhammer history more than anything
yeah that's good here's about you eli that's
cool um Another Space Marine chapter created
just to die to the Tau is the Avenging Sons.
They're just Ultramarines who got killed by Tau.
But someone in chat... They are around still,
kind of. They're so good at being incompetent.
Someone in chat mentioned the Steel Confessors,
which is a cool Iron Hands chapter that I don't
know a lot about, but I remember... To what I
remember, they were basically an Adeptus Mechanicus
chapter. and they're also trinitarian like uh
they're catholic space marines so that's pretty
cool and until last year the source of all this
information was oh trust me bro i found a leaflet
about them at an event once and everyone was
like where is this forbidden and then eventually
like last year some guy just went into like his
cupboard and was like oh i found it it's like
what yeah here's the leaflet i found it in my
cupboard and was like you're just like revealed
one of the biggest mysteries in warhammer lore
like oh well done you and he's like it's like
well done and so now we know for a fact that
yes we have got we have the source we found these
material i think there's i think there's a lot
more lore than what i mentioned but that's all
i really know yeah that's all i remember yeah
i i did actually once ask peachy and also try
to contact gw like have you got like any records
of this before i do like a little quick video
on them and they were like nope And then, thankfully,
it was just like, whew, it's correct. Nice. Bro
countered G -dubs from chapter laws. Crazy. Yeah.
Go away, you. We don't like you. Get away. Get
away from me. I've got a few more. Two honorable
mentions and some very quick ones. One I'd like
to mention is one that's actually a case of a
fan chapter that became canon. And this was made
by Mengel Miniatures, who's got like a painting
stuff and miniatures and stuff on Instagram,
etc. And their lore is they were created during
the 34th millennium. They have the homeworld
of Archaea, which was devoured by High Fleet
Leviathan. But here's the reason why this is
such a fun chapter, right? Their first chapter
master was named... alexandros the great oh of
course and then he got infected by a nurgle contagion
and then every successor of him has to drink
a bit of his infected blood as like a trial bike
like fire to make sure they're worthy and then
bear in mind this is now canon another one of
their because they're all called alexandros alexandros
the mad fell to chaos and now the current chapter
master is called alexandros the blind and he
is a blank he is a null chapter master follows
him because the mad has psychic powers he has
resistance to psychic powers and so he's like
trying to chase him down to kill him i'm like
oh that's it's a bit on the nose But it's also
quite fun. Like, ooh, a blank soulless chapter
master. That's quite fun. That is pretty cool.
That's a fun gimmick. That's a novelty. I like
that. I like that. Yeah, and guess what they're
descended from? The Sons of Dawn. That's not
the Ultramarines. I don't like that anymore.
It's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's the Imperial
Fest. Any more for any more? Hal or Colin or
Eli? I do. Was it good? Someone in chat said
Sons of Antaeus. They're big space marines that
are maybe Alpha Legion, and that's it, I'm pretty
sure. I think that's the entire lore blurb for
that. Unless I'm wrong, but I remember watching
a 40K Theories video when I was younger, like
literally a decade ago about these guys, about
how they're really big and mysterious space marines
who are probably Alpha Legion. Yeah. Don't keep
listening. I have one more. I don't know whether
to say it before or after the next donations
or not. Should I say it now? Go for it. Someone
definitely mentioned this one earlier. Because
it's Iron Hands, of course, no one knows anything
about anything that goes on with these guys,
which is the Sons of Medusa. Shout out to Mishmash.
This is his favorite chapter. I think, Colin,
have you ever seen Mishmash's videos on this
stuff yeah yeah uh this guy does a great he has
a great warmer channel about kit bashing and
um he also shares my love although i'm on the
other side of this debate here because you'll
see what i'm talking about which is the sons
of medusa themselves uh they are iron hands except
they do not like iron hands because uh they so
true so real They were birthed from something
called the Moiré Schism, which essentially boils
down to, in the Mechanicum, some guys were going,
by the way, guys, you know the Astronomicon?
Yeah, what? Messages in it. Swear to God. Swear
to the Omnissiah there's messages in the Astronomicon.
You've got to buy my loyalty program and then
subscribe, whatever that stuff is. you just gotta
manifest it bro you just gotta manifest it but
apparently this created like quite a divide and
it obviously if you know anything about iron
hands uh they worship the omnisire kind of the
emperor as well but like they worship the omnisire
the mechanicum is deeply intertwined with the
iron hands to the point where like they have
mechanicus elements like inside their ruling
council so the problem is is like this schism
also infected half of the iron hands chapter
and then it just turned into basically a full
-on civil war which is not good uh so uh the
only like it just gets like the whole point of
the iron hands of course there's only there's
not many of these guys the fact that they were
divided fucking sucks like it's just not good
but it does have like a kind of good ending for
the imperium in some way which was uh they basically
at some point the schism kind of ended and the
issue was like people a lot of guys in our hands
like hey we know we lost a few people also those
over there like they don't trust us and we don't
trust them so uh they're basically where you
know what we're dividing we're spitting the chapter
or like you know sectioning off the guys who
can't stay with us and they turn into a divergent
you know fleet based one uh this is quite cool
because then they become the sons of medusa they
get their own color scheme they go through that
iconic green with like a white helmet and um
they're looking i mean especially if you watch
a mishmash of it it's great like kit bashing
of them and i've watched a lot of stuff recently
but um yeah so they basically become a fleet
-based chapter they go off and they create their
own version of the iron hands which is kind of
similar so they also have like a ruling like
iron council in sort of similar way uh the kind
of i guess like the interesting part like they're
kind of like iron hands but they actually are
like you know We're actually going to do shit
and get shit done. And they often appear in many
of the more like recent stuff. They were in Bad
Ab as well. So they featured in Bad Ab War. They
kind of show up and they have lots of good, really
fucking good gear. Although we should say parts
of the Mechanicus don't like them because obviously
they're like, hey, the Mechanicus have like their
own kind of issues and schisms. And obviously.
uh they the fact that these guys are around they're
like uh you know we don't we don't we don't fuck
those guys you know over there you know he's
not from my he's not from my block stuff like
that but in some way they kind of are a bit more
you know they're on the prowl and these guys
do fight a lot they show up a lot in more recent
events and i don't mean it was only like do any
more details andy because i'm not like as i like
these guys but i'm not like the most familiar
with them but i i haven't brushed up on them
in a while i know they got like three companies
like i said instead of having ten and they're
quite big they're more like clans than companies
and they all have like a different color scheme
for the chapter logo that's how you tell uh i
know they also have like uh a unique tech marine
which are called like forge fanes i think and
that's just their name for tech marines like
oh and they're obviously quite good tech marines
because it's like we're using a different type
of like understanding technology a different
uh framework so we're quite good at it so oh
okay yeah so if you guys want to make your uh
if you were thinking you know all three of you
out there who are like i kind of like iron hands
but i don't want to have to paint all black armor
again because that could be a real ball and be
really difficult there's a whole chapter here
if you can paint it in despite who should say
their color is disgustingly bright green like
that's like a kiwi just like i don't know it's
quite like is that naff green it's like the kind
of green where like if you were uh like a petrol
station or which were a gas bubble gum green
yeah like okay like if your gas station was this
color you know it's you know that shop inside
is filthy you know like like it's like it's math
green but uh it is iconic uh i guess it was it
like um ah sprite green is that the one yeah
sprite green yeah but they are they are kind
of cool and um uh if anyone doesn't like iron
hands uh they probably enjoy them too because
they were like haha we took half the iron hands
and we pissed off so yeah there you go that's
my that's i have one more uh just to end like
in my pocket uh i can also be incredibly loud
and obnoxious if everyone gives me permission
okay hey mish mash sons of medusa mention you
wow He was in a Discord call, so I just kind
of joined that. He was still in the one with
Froggy and someone else there that I don't know.
I pulled back the loud and obnoxious, I'm not
going to lie. I did kind of want to yell. Violence
today. That sounded like you were more concerned
rather than angry. It's, you know, I realized
that was in a little stream chat and I don't
need to blow out an audience's ears. But by God,
I wanted to know I wanted to yell. I'm going
to end my part on these guys also from a curse
founding called the Blood Gorgons. These guys,
Andy mentioned earlier about obscure novels.
I believe this is also one of the cases because
I think this is fifth edition and the Blood Gorgons,
they don't have any, origin chapter supposedly
but their kind of gimmick is that they fall they
fall into chaos and that they're kind of like
their skin their like bodies have become more
like uh like it was impenetrable and they're
really really difficult to kill and they're promoted
lightly like an iron hands successor probably
because blood gorgons you know the gorgon being
ferris's nickname but they fall into chaos and
they have like One of their iconic art pieces,
actually, I think, is it the 5th edition Codex?
It's the 6th edition Codex. The 6th edition Codex,
sorry. Which is so weird for such a random chapter
to be on the front. It does weird because technically
they're now like a war band. It kind of reminds
me of when Games Workshop tried to make what
they called the... Interesting law? No, I don't
remember. Crimson Slaughter. They had like a
whole codex and they were like, let's make them
a thing. It just didn't take it. It was a weird
little side quest from GW, yeah. Yeah, so the
Blood Gorgons, they also have an interesting
history, like real life history, which is they
are written by an author. I think his name is
Henry Zhao or Harry Zhao. he made like a novel
i think a novella as well maybe about these guys
and they have like quite a decent like fleshing
out there's a slight issue though um which is
uh this guy no longer works for games workshop
because he got them in trouble for plagiarism
he parts of his i think when i looked up years
ago as well uh allegedly i'll say here allegedly
parts of his novels are filled with like basically
plagiarized sentences and whole paragraphs from
other people's works allegedly yeah the inquisitor
bastion uh war novels so yeah like yeah so you
cannot like you can't buy these novels that he
or novellas he made about these guys well to
be frank to be frank gw is completely fine with
plagiarism as long as you're sneaky enough to
get away with it uh GW GW Warhammer is like an
entirely plagiarized setting. I do. I do like
his wiki page that he's in full like military
like fatigues. I just says when he's not working
or studying, he devotes his time to submission
wrestling and listening to bulk Baltic gypsy
rock. Fair enough, mate. Do what you're going
to do, my guy. Yeah. But apparently this this
was quite a few years ago now. But yeah, he.
he he got caught out and therefore these guys
were not mentioned ever again so it was kind
of a cool concept though which was like they
are iron hand chaosy ones who like they have
a mutation that makes them just almost like death
guard um but yeah that's kind of us are they
not are they not part of that um what it's called
crusade the crusade that went really bad They're
not part of the Abyssal Crusade, not that one.
Oh yeah. No, only one chapter came out of that
if I remember correctly. The Vorpal Swords? I
guess we could mention them. The Abyssal Crusade
is when a saint supposedly, a false saint, he
condemns 30 chapters for conspiring with mutants
and heresy, and they have to go on a penitent
crusade in the Eye of Terror. So it has 30 chapters.
Most of them are like their full chapter. I think
only a few were like not full strength. And basically,
all of them basically fall to chaos. They turn
into like modern day war bands. And only one
group came out with the Vorpal Swords and like
Blaze, something similar to that. They again
are a sickly green sprite green colored chapter.
They said they conquered 400 worlds and they
emerged and they immediately emerged like hundreds
of years later, dug up the remains of the ecclesiarch
and said, put his bones on trial. This guy is
a certified heretic. You know, it was a plan.
I swear, bro, I swear. So yeah, they did a, they
did a, who's that Pope in history, Colin, who
got this like, he got his shit like uh persecuted
even death oh yeah they dug up his corpse and
put him on trial fuck what was that guy's name
This is a real thing, though. This happened.
It's probably one of the many Pope Innocents,
which is hilarious. Didn't they get his successor
or something and then say, all your retinue,
get on that ship, and they fired it into the
nearest sun. The Vorpal Swords were like, we
are not playing. They gathered all of his worshippers
or something. They were like, sun, boom. Just
detonate. Is there books for the Abyss Crusaders?
codex blurb i've only ever read it as codex in
like the sixth edition codex yeah i don't think
there's any books no i'm afraid not andy were
you playing with froggy on this one yes um yes
again i was trying my best but i thought she
was really good that was happening Oh, I'm telling
her that. Oh, I'm fucking telling her that. Not
calling you out, but... Just comments on the
footage like, hey, you're dying quite a lot,
Rocky. That'd fucking suck. But to continue to
the donations, one from Matt Eckert, who, yo,
who up, criming they laws. Thank you for the
tips. We are criming our laws. We are. We should...
We say our tagline for Lord Crime should be criminally
overrated. Wow. Have some confidence, man. Come
on. Zenon, thank you for the two. Mentors also
feature in Space Marine 2 when co -opping with
Andy. That is true. I do like that caveat when
co -opping with Andy. Darth Sasquatch. Great
name. The flesh is weak. Ferris Manus forever.
Bro, the full line. The flesh is weak, but deeds
endure. That is the full tagline. The flesh is
weak and Ferris Manus is fucking lame. The flesh
is weak. It's not my favorite Primark in any
sense. I am hating. You're right. The flesh is
weak, but you can get a pill for that. Don't
worry about it. Bonar. Colin, here's one for
you. Okay, come on. Hmm. Oh yeah, I did. I do
read it first. This is the tech, Hal. You gotta
know what's coming. I wouldn't say anything on
this show. Focal Transit. I like that name. That's
funny. With a five, thank you. Colin, if you
could remove one obscure chapter, which one?
Am I allowed to say Iron Hands? Yeah. No, we're
not obscure. Also, it's now been three years
since you talked about doing a Comstar vid. Stop
teasing us and do it. I'll get to it. Look, every
video I do is the same policy. I'll get to it
when I get to it. He promised thank you all and
he got to it. After like three years. Great boss
of two bucks. May the Emperor bless you all with
a great weekend. Thank you, man. Thank you. Thank
you. Andy, would you like to read? My favorite
obscure chapter is the Imp Fists. Their gimmick
is pertaining to be a long dead founding chapter.
To be fair, they technically went extinct once
during the War of the Beast. And then there was
one guy that was like, hey guys from the other
successors, can you like help? But he was part
of the Imperial Fists originally as well anyway.
One guy and they're like, I was going to put
all the... Maximus Thane, he was literally there
at the Siege of Terror. True, but it's one guy.
Come on, you can't spread the seed that thin.
Soggy. me when i'm not aiming properly this is
also for calling damn i'm popular today donkey
man usa with the fiber column my sister is taking
a trip to chicago senator prayer because we both
know it's a may your sister survive not thrive
no one thrives there may she survive Zenon, 2
euro. Honourable mention, Knights of Blood. Is
that the one from Devastation of Bal, Andy? the
weird like renegade ones who are like yeah we're
just here to die man they have like jaundice
and red eyes and they're like we're screwed it's
fine we're here buddies i want to fucking die
literally they turn up and they're like we're
gonna we're gonna fight near the flesh terrace
i mean like get away from me um yeah gabriel
says very rich talking there yeah Orcs, orcs,
orcs, orcs, orcs. For 20. Thank you very much.
Hey, just got here. Have you guys talked about
the chapter that got eaten by Oliensis? Love
you all. Oliensis. I don't know what this is.
I have not heard of that. Oliensis is that man
planet. Remember that? The big guy that's like
a planet? Oh, the fat man. The horror world.
can't remember their name but yeah the ones who
are like they get like sucked into his paws and
then when they come out they're like the sentinels
i don't like those words the sentinel chapter
and they emerged as the corpus brethren that's
the one yeah um who would like to read this one
eli i will Saturday night. Thank you for the
50 ,000 D. Side note, in Total War Rome, the
expansionist imperialistic Roman factions have
American accents. What did Creative Assembly
mean by this? That's pretty funny. Sea to shining
sea, baby. I mean, what do you mean? All Romans
are supposed to have British accents, clearly.
Spencer Chabia 8836. They're ruining Warhammer.
They're calling the next edition Woke Trader.
Woke Trader is pretty funny. That's actually
pretty funny. Listen, if you want to make quite
a bit of money on YouTube, you just got to do
that repeatedly. Warhammer is dead. Again. You
said that last week. But it was dead two weeks
ago. It got revived on Thursday and it's dead
again. Document USA. Colin, we demand a Yuuzhan
Von vid. No. I don't want to do that. that fantasy
style no that's star wars okay it's the expanded
universe it's like their version of tyranids
they come from out uh but also dark yeah general
grievous ain't beaten darth vader revan uh new
chapter approved mission deck leaked in german
Keep up the good work, boys. Thank you, sir.
Yeah, I saw that. I need to check it out. I need
to let Allspectactics do all the work for me
and once again tell me what's happening. Tell
me. Tell me how proud you are, Shifu. Is there
another one you wanted to mention, Colin? Let
me go through the doc again really quick. I can,
while you do that, go through some of the ones
I picked out. The files. I have in the Obscure
Marines video I wrote, this isn't a chapter,
I just wrote, what do you mean you lost the 13th
founding? Go find it. I don't know how funny
that is, but I thought that's also not a chapter.
Eli said the Avenging Sons. We brought up the
Steel Confessors, but at this point, oh, there's
the Halo Brethren. They're neat. They're sure
there. What about the Halo dragons? No, Halo
brethren, because brethren. I don't know. I don't
think they have art. They don't, but they were
part of the assault against the Eversaur Assassin
Temple, which if nothing else, I want to see
what that looked like. Yeah. Yeah. You should
get the Halo dragons. See what their color scheme
is like. See what you think of it. Also, Halo's
in their name. Yeah. Yeah, baby. I've got some
choice ones to finish us off, if you'd like.
First one I wanted to mention is the Angels Penitent.
They are blood angel successors from the ninth
founding. They used to be called the Angels Resplendent.
They wore orange armor. They loved to create
art, paintings, drawings, like scripture, whatever
they liked. They were really into it. And for
a while, they were completely free of the black
rage. They were like the only chapter we knew
of that was like, ah. black rage completed it
don't worry about it never never a scratch on
our men um however one day a man waltzed into
their chapter monastery their fortress monastery
and he just kind of like convinced all of their
chaplains that he was an undying martyr so the
entire chaplain creed went i have an idea how
about a civil war let's kill all the people that
don't agree with us in the chapter yeah chuck
all of your like clay pottery in the bin we're
now going to change our icon from like an angel
seraph to a a skull with a crown of thorns all
right We're going to denounce the ecclesiarchy.
We're going to destroy all that we used to love
about like art and stuff and just meditate and
kill things. And we're going to have our great
purge of our brothers who don't agree with us.
Now the chaplains are in charge of the entire
chapter. They wear like camouflage black and
brown armor. And yeah, the blood angels think
they're a bit sus. And to be fair, they're pretty
sus. Yeah. um you can actually get a skin of
them in space marine uh too and i think they're
like the only canon current chapter that that
has like camouflage uh ceremony i know that like
technically the salamanders had it way back when
and some other chapters had like their own like
little variants like the astral claws but in
terms of like their actual like what they look
like they're the only one i can think of that's
like it's actually camouflage that's kind of
cool um Another one, Tiger Claws, successor chapter
of the Astral Claws, speaking of which, they
were lost during 280 M40. They reappeared 400
years later on the dot. And they petitioned,
they went to like the acting chapter master,
who was the captain's like, we're a bit low on
gene seed. I'm going to go to Terra and see if
I can get some more. Never heard from him again,
just disappeared. So the chapter's like, that's
not good. So then they went back to their main
chapter of origin. the Astral Claws, and they
went to a nice fella called Lufthuron, who said,
don't worry, mate, I've got an idea. I'll sort
out your chapter. He basically kept some of the
tithes from the Mechanicum during his civil war,
gave some of it to the Tiger Claws, like, don't
worry about it, I'll sort it. Then the Badab
War happened, they were a contributing factor
to why it went so messy, and then at the end
of the war, there was only 200 left, and they
all fell to chaos, and are probably now Red Corsairs.
Womp womp. Boo womp. and the last one i say big
one um i've got two more one's very short next
one i have to mention them because they're cool
the storm wardens basically like welsh slash
scottish coded space marines with kilts they
hail from the world of sacros they patrol the
halo stars and they're very isolationist ever
since the age of apostasy their fortress monastery
is called high castle And ever since this thing
called the Nemesis incident during 945 M36, they
redacted all their former history. They were
like, nope, get it in the bin, chuck it in the
filing cabinet, then chuck the filing cabinet
off a cliff into a ravine and then nuke it from
orbit. Okay, I wonder what happened. Their chapter
master, Owen Glyndir, who is an actual person
from history, was sealed away within the chapter
fortress monastery with authorization from the
High Lords of Terror, along with the entire First
Company. They have been... in stasis ever since
and all other successors of the first company
are now called the inheritors also i did a video
on this guy it's very short but their chapter
master or warden master is called law garth mcclear
uh he is almost as old as dante he's like 780
years old he's not a dreadnought and he's just
a bit of a badass he's like i think they're basically
ultra marine successors they're isolationists
so they have to look after themselves and this
guy is like really good tactician and they're
just a really cool like they have these big um
like swords they're like claymores they connect
to their power packs and they have like they
have to forge the swords by themselves they're
basically all of their lore is from a death watch
like supplement and it's really cool it's like
uh that kind of i don't know which edition it
was but remember when they used to have like
all these different spin -off uh like supplement
books and Yeah, they had loads of them at one
point. They all had a similar bordering and art
style. It's part of that series, and it's really
quite fun. And the last one I wanted to mention
is the Warriors Adept, right? I'm going to be
honest with you. Warriors Adept, they don't have
any lore. Why would I want to mention the Warriors
Adept? Because in my opinion, they are the ugliest
Space Marine chapter ever conceived. Oh, no.
jesus all right i know you're a fan of crayon
eaters be honest with me is this not the original
crayon eater oh boy yeah optimus prime space
marine i thought it would be worse considering
what i've seen from colin space marine to hey
you shut the fuck up this could only be worse
if like every individual part like the crayon
eaters was like a different color but it's just
the whole like it looks like one of the one of
the designers brought their kids to work and
they had a bunch of templates with like crayons
and they were just like coloring it in say what
did you make oh okay i guess put it in the game
i made art and uh yeah they're horrible disgraceful
ew yuck stop being mean jesus christ bam that's
all crazy Yeah Yeah, other than that any any
other honorable mentions you guys want to mention
that very brief. They're just like are they just
exist I think I covered the ones I have in my
brain There's those blood angels. Yeah, talk
to Zinch. Who was oh, yeah Yeah, they're like
orange armor with like tattooed parts on it and
like their artwork angels of carmine or angels
whatever no they have a weird it's like sons
of boreas or something it's like a really weird
name they're the ones like supposedly they like
cure their um uh black rage and then they call
it like the inner path where like they all get
they show one of their librarian blood angels
yep is it angel familiar i think it's them yeah
every time they they have the black rage they
don't see horus killing sanguineous they see
the scene she and demon that made a deal with
their original chapter master and they have to
deny it being like i'm gonna fall to chaos it's
like nah oh no this isn't the one i'm thinking
of at all i'm thinking of a completely different
one there's also like 20 angel chapters who like
kill inquisitors and have very edgy secrets that
nobody can know about. It's definitely just the
Black Rage and Red Thirst. I like this one. Why
do you dress like a gnome? It's Green Hat Day.
That's why. With that said, we've got a couple
more donations. Before we do that, should we
do the question of the week? Sure. Yes. I'm trying
to look for that play chapter. I can't remember
what it's called. No, it's not. It's like a really
obscure... It's like a... I promise you, I literally
cannot let this go because I need to know what
this is. Bro, what is it? Antros? The Antros?
That's the guy. Antros is the guy who worked
with Mephiston. he like he's the one who like
gets slowly corrupted by chaos because this uh
blood angels successor chapter they have like
we basically go through this like inner path
system to like cure the black rage but it turns
out it's not it's actually just a zinc trickery
and they go down further enough they actually
see like a false emperor and it's like a demon
thing oh i don't know i literally cannot find
the name it's such a weird name of like this
chapter oh never mind uh yes i questioned the
week guys um it was from our grim dark episode
uh uh with the we asked people how would you
make 40k more grim dark and you guys delivered
uh the first one here is by extra medium uh he
says hashtag grim I say you have to give each
faction an alienating feature like Tau talking
like they're from Boston or just making the Eldar
Canadian. Wow. I'm so sorry. I've got to kill
your entire hive world. Sorry about that. I don't
like that. I don't like that. I'm not a fan.
Do not like. Hi there. I'm from Craftworld Soda.
the next one was by alex double au uh hashtag
grim how about hear me out on this one colin
was reminded of a running gag from a different
podcast as a crackhead arrives to steal the copper
wiring it's gelting time wonderful wonderful
Lovely. Next one is by atnerdcasting40k. Hashtag
grim. First, replace the Chaos Gods with Daedric
Princes. Second, replace the Death Corps of Krieg
with Gary from Fallout 3. Thirdly, replace the
Space Marine with Gordon Freeman. And finally,
give the Necrons RGB lights. Gary. Gary. And
the last one was by RagingCane88. Hashtag grim.
The Inquisition orders would all be abolished
and the Inquisition henceforth be run by the
penguins from Madagascar. Necrons would march
into battle with RGB lighting. And blaring Carmel
Danson? Caramel Danson. Caramel Danson. Oh, come
on. Oh, come on. Okay, and then finally he says,
finally for Chaos, I just replaced the gods with
different Sesame Street puppets. Oscar the Groucho
replaced Nurgle. Elmo for Korn. I don't even
know. Garab... Gary Baldo? I don't even know
that one. A Brazilian pig in bird physique. And
Slaanesh will be Bert and Ernie. What is that
comment? Oh my god. Thank you guys. Is this person
not cooking? What do you mean? What is that comment?
Please. What is the first part he said? Which
was like Kowalski, Inquisition or something.
well thank you guys for that one and the question
of the week what do we think guys for should
we just say what would you what's your favorite
obscure chapter like one that no one talks about
never gets the limelight what's your favorite
how about that yeah nice obscure Yes, with that
being said, thank you guys for listening, for
watching, and we'll see you... We do have a couple
of donations before we end. A few more. One from
DarthSasquatch199. Colin, any chance of Star
Wars, Hammer? No. I don't know. But thank you.
And BookieBeard82499. Colin not wearing a green
hat. He did earlier. I had the Grogu hat. Why
do you wear your house as a hat there? It's all
green. How fat do you think I am? Wow. What a
hostile way to end, Hal. What a hostile workplace.
Well, anyway, thank you all very much for joining
us tonight. We hope you had a lovely time. Remember...
there's always more you can make your own space
marine chapters you can do all your stuff with
making your own law so it never ends net space
marines are always going to keep going forever
consume consume slob thank you all very much
bye -bye