Oh, welcome, guys. It's the slightest bit late,
yeah. There's an awkward silence. Welcome to
Lore Crimes. Hope you're having a good day. Thanks
for coming to join us on this fine afternoon,
evening. This will be Colin's last appearance
on Lore Crimes. Executed for being 0 .25 seconds
late because my internet was apparently a bit
slow. If next week you see a guy who looks suspiciously
like Colin, he's just going to replace by a new
cast member. Yeah. Suspiciously similar, but
not quite the same. Different accent entirely
as well. No. Yeah. Today we're doing a nice little,
we listen, we don't judge. So you find folks
in the discord. We're hearing your slop garbage
opinions and we're going to discuss them. And
I think that's the kindest way I can think about
it. Just kidding. Some of these are actually
okay. Notable gameplay of Hal on his own with
no friends. I had to re -download this game because
I was rusty. It's like Halo Reach when Noble
Six is all alone. Anyways, we asked you guys,
we wanted some suggestions about law changes.
We wanted your ideas. We asked you for your...
Athena's upset about law changes. The poor dog
hated your suggestions, by the way. But we asked
you guys to give us your law suggestions that
you make. Some serious, some... By the way, some
of you guys... immediately we're writing like
there's a guy talking about pregnancy in that
thing okay it needs to be calmed down i need
to get the water bottle um but yeah we had a
few guys uh do put some legitimate answers in
so we appreciate that and we're gonna go through
them and we'll dissect we'll see if it's any
good we'll see if you guys have some valid opinions
or not can i just say Can I just say, we've officially
defeated DonkeyManUSA. We're streaming so early,
he wasn't able to say stream late due to Hal
gooning. True. We miss you, DonkeyMan. But then
RerosPepe also said, Hal, stop gooning and start
already. And Leoximi said, late. And then Golgil
said, stream late due to them throwing up at
the horrible lore. There was plenty of people
standing in for DonkeyMan, so that was good.
And as the... We should say, as the stream's
going, you guys can still send in ones. Send
in some good ones while throw up. I don't know.
I will. No. Leave your comments of what you would
change if we don't mention something cool. Yeah.
Should we get straight into it? Let's get right
into the news. No, that's not... That's an old
reference. Don't know, Max. Don't do it. That's
the path to darkness. From Spooky, I want Vashtor
to become an actual Chaos God, and Peter Turbo
becomes Demon Prince of Vashtor. Also, I think
Kurz is alive. Well. Nice. Very nice. As much
Primark BM as I can get, I'll take it. Yeah,
you know, I guess Noble Six is alive in the cave
too, right? I mean, Vastal basically is going
to be a Chaos God, right? Surely? He's kind of
trying his best. He's doing a good try. Has he
gotten any lore since whenever the Dark Angels
and whatever box came out? Kind of. In the new
Carcaradon's book, the main opponent is a Vashtor
cult, and they're getting gifts from Vashtor
trying to take over this forge world. So they're
chipping away at it, but it's more... He's kind
of there, I guess. Once again, Eli, you've stepped
on GW's trap card, which is... A hint of a silhouette
of a lore. In a space marine. Every four years.
You squint really hard that there might be a
lore. Yeah. I mean, why does he want Curse alive,
though? He just said he thinks he's alive. He
thinks, oh, is this the... I mean, presumably.
Is this the, like, supposedly his soul is in
the crown? Which has like a gem on it. I don't
know how alive that is, though, you know? I don't
know how much that counts as alive, you feel?
Ah, he comes back as the Wraith Boner. Like,
no. Wraith Boner. I like he's dead, though. I
like when... Me too. It makes a good... The character's
story has been told. Do you know what I mean?
I don't know if it's... any more story left to
tell of curse like he fulfilled his whole like
madness arc of you know i put myself on the throne
and i let myself die because haha that makes
me not a person i swear you know i don't know
i i enjoy that character arc so i'd leave him
dead i want to say if he comes back for the scouring
for a brief stint i'm going to be a bit annoyed
like no he was fine where he was get him on in
the dirt Get him back into Framas and leave him
there. He was fine. He had an arc. It's finished.
It's over. Leave him. Yeah, but you could save
about all of them. You know he's coming back.
There is no escape. True. Lorgar could die, for
all I care, though. All the Primarchs? I'd actually
be okay if Lorgar came back. That'd be awesome.
Horus should have bludgeoned him in at the end
of the... Heresy. Orgar reminds Hal too much
of himself. So he makes him a priest. A bold
priest. Future bold. Hey, he's like Johnny Sinsbald,
though. He makes it look good. Oh, no. And on
that note, who'd like to read this one from Fugless
El Bosso? I think Hal's tagged, so it's got to
be Hal, surely. Okay, thank you, Mr. Thugness,
which is, again, one of the better names I've
ever come across. He says, give Titus the Chiron
treatment. It's not too late to stop him from
being the ultimate Gary Stu. You know, my OC
is so cool. He perma -resisted chaos. He was
taken prisoner by the Inquisition because that
mean dummy Leandros was wrong at everything.
I assume he meant it to sound like this. He was
part of the Death Watch and killed many Xenos,
brackets, even though the way the Corvus Blackstar
crashes is a bull. It falls for the Tyrannid
Tactics 101. You can also hear the Emperor's
directly. His relationship with his brothers
is fixed by almost killing each other. Space
Marine 2. The Space Marine 2 story. Also, he's
in charge of reconquering Ultramar, even though
that shouldn't be his job. Brackets, I don't
know. Master of the Watch implies defense much
more than Master of the Fleet, which is third
company. Or, you know, the fucking Regent. Brackets,
first company. Damn, this guy feels strong. The
guy there is called Agamemnon. He's still around.
Can't have him yet. He finishes off by saying,
anyway, we're not quite there yet, but it's getting
close. The only way to prevent it is to humble
Marine fans once more. He's only tolerated right
now because people associate him with Space Marine
2 gameplay. Damn. I like overpowered Ultramarine
characters. It's not cool in any other faction,
but it's funny in Ultramarines. Space Marine
2 is mid -Marine 2, by the way. Poop game. Wow.
Poopier story, actually. We need another ultrillion
dollars. Yes, we do. 10 ,000 more Ultramarine
characters, please. Can we just have one more
Uriel Ventress thing? He's been like... Titus
is wearing his skin. He's got that kind of energy.
He's like, no, what happened to Uriel? Don't
worry about that guy. He had green pauldrons.
Ew, yuck. No, it was an okay color scheme. it's
okay uh necrosaur mentor kind of beats titus
in uh in the lore so you know what the necrons
are the only xenos who are ever allowed to beat
the ultramarines it seems and i'm okay with that
yeah i'll beat them i say i disagree on one point
which is uh i i agree and disagree on one and
one thing uh titus law in general is quite mid
Compared to a lot of the other ones, it's quite
mid. Space Marine 2, though, is fun because the
story is there for the simple reason of funneling
me into the mission where I have a jump pack
and a thunder hammer. That's the only reason
for the story. Yeah, it does what it needs to
do, which is give me an excuse to kill people.
i mean i don't go into a space marine battles
novel and expect it to be good so i guess i should
expect the same thing for like a space marine
game it's a fair point yeah the gameplay is good
though like but i'm not yeah okay i don't think
i was going in expecting to you know sob at the
height the height of emo you know emotional masculinity
on display like i wasn't i was more just like
yay As someone who's put 300 hours into that
game now, more out of commitment than anything,
I'll play it any day over. Frigging Endless Space
2, my God. Okay, there it is. I was not having
fun with that. What's worse, Endless Space 2
or Dota 2 to you, Andy? Oh, Dota 2 by a mile.
Dota 2 should be like, you know how they say...
the American government, they torture people
with, like, blasting Metallica in a, like, an
adept sleep -deprived room. They should just,
like, give people, like, a top -of -the -line
gaming PC and play Dota 2 and just leave them
to it. It's like, they'll break. Give it a day.
Somehow I automatically knew you were going to
associate it with prison torture when you said
that. That's what immediately went to my mind.
Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm talking about then,
surely. You were so clear and concise. You were
like, yeah, I know exactly what you mean, and
I love it. I have unbelievable Stockholm Syndrome
where I tell myself I love the torture. And Dota
2 loves me. Take care of me. Is Titus the Dota
2 of characters to you than Eli? I like Titus.
I like OP Ultramarines. I think it's funny. Monkey
on the typewriter, that sentence. Holy shit.
Is Titus the Dota 2 of Ultramarines? Jesus Christ.
My disappointment is immeasurable. It's funny
and stupid, and I'm not going to complain about
them. Even if their lore is bad, then whatever.
Yeah, that's fair enough. Fair enough. Probably
go to the next one then. Yeah, poor Titus though.
Who would like this one from Fortified Mailman?
Sure. Unmaking the Creek. Already a good start.
wow they are the polar opposite of what the imperial
guard is made is meant to represent i need to
i cannot do this point by point or i'm going
to be here for years the guard is humanity the
guard is made up of humans not necron warriors
every creek story starts and ends with a pointless
siege it could have been avoided with daring
military tactics and some wit Wasted in decades,
the shells have already abandoned Hive. It's
a pure waste of time and resources. Have you
met the Imperium? Yet they are supposed to be
some of the finest guardsmen ever. They have
no ambition, emotion, or cause to fight for other
than the Emperor. Have you met any space marine?
Now, that's a fine motivator, but there are other
factions that do that better. See such as a battle.
You got me on that one. The fact that they got
to be the essentially second regiment and had
some more interesting ones also annoys me to
no end. Valid. They serve no purpose other than
mindless slaves. You're yanking me back and forth
on you're so right, and I don't think you know
what Warhammer is with this one. I agree. They
shouldn't be the poster boys. I don't think they
should be the poster boys. It is kind of silly
that the regiment that constantly meet grinders
all over their troops somehow always has more
troops to spend, and somehow they rise in rank
and survive conflicts. I don't know. They're
a little silly. But Throw More Bodies at it is
a classic. That's not unique to them at all.
They have their place in the guard. I need to
read through The Relentless Dead, which is a
newish Steve Lyons book about the Kriegers. He
does a lot of guard stuff. He did the Siege of
Rax book, which I still haven't got around to.
He did the Krieg book. So I'm like, yeah, we'll
see if he can salvage their reputation as just
like... they're also really cool in dead men
walking and they have some good like debates
on humanity and stuff i don't that's a great
book it does make a pretty valid point though
which is uh it is less horrifying for like the
average human if the average human is like a
mind numbed like super well that's super that's
a more horror like of what the you know people
are though that this is just an acceptable thing
that no one sees anything wrong with their existence
there's still plenty horrifying just in a look
how far we've fallen kind of way it's like yeah
this this is something to glorify they're a cool
niche but now they're everything so what are
you gonna do yeah and the cynic in me is like
looking at the new um yarik returning animation
and it's cadians and kriegers i'm like surely
that's because they've made the assets already
with their whoever their cgi people is if it's
like blur studio or something they already have
all these like generic guardsman models and just
say i'll just reuse those don't have to make
anyone for the steel legion for you i don't know
what with with they're all about dying for the
emperor show me a warhammer 40k human character
who cannot be summed up with man grimly doing
his duty because he must. And you are not allowed
to say Caiaphas Cain. He is the only other one.
He is the only other one. That sentence applies
to everyone else. Except chaos characters, I
guess. Damn, you really got us there. Touche.
Pancreas no work. Touche. To be fair, in my grimdark
setting, it's pretty weird if there was like...
There's an array of very happy people, by the
way. I don't need to be happy. I just want one
motherfucker who's not all about grimly doing
his duty. Yeah. I mean, the night books are like,
oh, I want to be like a good king. So that guy,
Denial. I do need to read some night books. There's
two. Enjoy. And your Average Guard book is quite
humanizing. The Average Guardsman is pretty human.
They're human. I do like them. But, you know,
the criticism of the... They blindly do their
duty. That would be the guard. That would be
all of them. A lot of the time, though, they
at least have moral dilemmas and this and that.
Character traits. They have character traits.
I don't know. Maybe the wording of it is buggering
my butthole for some reason. That's a Hal sentence
right there. No, no, no. If it was Hal, it was
buttering. Yeah, that is quite scary. I don't
know. I don't know why this one is scary. I don't
know this. This one is made my this one. This
one is I don't know. You've turned it out. You've
changed. You've got a you've healed. I'm angry
now. I agree that the Krieger overrated. I don't
think they have no place in 40k, though. I think
they're so cool. But the aesthetic is cool, though.
Yeah. But you know who originally had that aesthetic?
The Armageddon Steel Legion. That's right, they
did. Also the Germans and the French. And now
technically the new Helldivers Warbond is kind
of veering into that territory as well. Like,
okay. Trench gun, I see you. I haven't seen that
one yet. Oh, there's a trench gun now. There's
a trench gun now. And you can get it for like
400 credits in the generic store. Nice. Should
we do some donates before we get any? Yeah. Let's
give it a go. Thank you so much, guys. Thank
you. Thank you very much. Do you want to start
us off then? What crimes did this because of
you? Oh, my God. It's the best name. Again, you
guys have really good names. He's here. We used
to be on Cygnus, didn't we? Five bucks, man.
Thank you. No content with the green screen in
his room. No content with green screen in his
room. He's trying to green screen his shirt now.
That is in the way. I can't green screen the
room. The closet is there. Wow. You just need
to get a little what they call it where you get
changed behind and it's like a little booth.
One of those. I can't remember what they're called.
I don't know. Crazy Axeman, $17 .51. Thank you
for the $5. Eli, I must know your feelings on
the Waffle House map. It certainly is a 40K competitive
map with a Waffle House in the middle of it.
I'm looking forward to using it. I'll get Howler,
Colin, whoever's willing to play me next time,
and we'll play on that in our next 40K stream.
It's a table. With the regular, like, classic
layout, but the middle piece is a big Waffle
House. Alright, hell yeah. That's pretty good.
I thought this was like a GeoGuessr, but Waffle
Houses or something. I was like, what? His Gmod.
Shark Boromir for 5k. Colin, there are two wolves
inside you. You were very popular at the furry
convention. Also, happy birthday, Colin. Wow.
We haven't heard happy birthday for a while.
Yeah, they're picking back up now that it's almost
two months after my birthday. It's a funny donation.
Thank you, Sharkborn Beer. Damn. I know you're
a member for four months. Thank you, man. Stream
at 10pm, right? Tricked me nicely. Daylight savings
is a... Not every country is doing it at the
same time. I hate it so much. And the British
are like eons behind somehow. We all won War
Week. Next week is the same and then after that
we're back to normal. So shush you. Calm down.
Also, if you have any problems, tell the British
government. The British government. Just say
get rid of daylight savings. We'd have sundown
at like three. It'd be crazy. Fun fact, during
daylight savings, accidents on the road go up
massively every year because everyone's a bit
tired because they have to wake up. They're like,
oh, I'm tired. Crash. Another one by Shark Bornmeyer
for Five Canadian. Thank you, man. I'm happy
for the new Defiler with its crop top and midriff.
I have a weird thing about... some of those models
the like i really like it but is it like the
actual like you know the black legion like metal
paneling like something is off and i don't know
what the defiler yeah it feels like it does it
does look like an original sculpt and not like
a defiler if that's what you're saying um it's
it's not jagged enough i would say it's like
it's all very like it points into his chest there's
no bit sticking out It doesn't look like shrapnel.
It looks too smooth. Not smoothed edges, but
contoured, I would say. That would be my read
on it. It's giving hips don't lie. Yeah. Before
I read this also, I see you in the chat, Possum.
We are not on speaking terms right now. Go fuck
yourself. There's a story behind that. I won't
say anything. Spoiling something. I was made
to look like a clown. possum please dm me please
i will read it cattily on my phone and then you'll
see me go you you get out of this chat you rat
you rat or possum uh do you want to read this
one uh fanciful prodigy with the fiber is that
the dungeon mesh ep of being huge uh five months
ago colin released a halo legends amv when will
the other lore crimes members release thrown
amvs Joke's on you. I made one 15 years ago that
no one's ever seen. Maybe I'll make a Dota 2
one. I don't think people want to see my one.
It would just... What does that mean? It's going
to go in the Necronomicon or something. It should
be forbidden. Okay. It'll be that bad. What?
My AMV just would be terrible. I'll fuck it up
somehow. All right. Thank you very much. Thank
you, guys. Hope you're all doing well. A few
things. Change the Terminus decree law for the
love of God. Make Belisarius called new emperor.
Bring back pariahs. Make Leman Rustu a double
flip kick on Belicor. And last change, that General
Stern survives. Wow. That's a lot of crazy. Thank
you. Thank you, man. Thank you so much. That
was amazing. Call is too much of a goofball to
be a... an Emperor, I think. But I always like
Call of Lore. I want him to have more stuff.
And to be fair, I do know who General Stern is.
I still don't know who General Pask is, so there
is that. He's the guy in the tank. You read Final
Media. I know you did, and I know he's in it.
Yeah, and I forgot he was there. That's how much
of an impact he left. He's in a tank. Yeah. Braden,
infinite slurs. i guess the episode we did that
and then one of the top comments was like the
the general um i can't remember his name now
that general's like he's nice all right it's
like flask like gulp you've forgotten him um
does anyone have any thoughts on terminus decree
If you just take into account that, like, Grey
Knights are a force multiplier unto themselves,
where the more they have, the better their psychic
powers. If they attacked you en masse, it'd be
like Goku levels of power. So I can't imagine
it's that big of a deal. Honestly, like, one
psycho is a pain in the ass. A hundred heavily
armored psychos whose weapons are also tied to
how powerful their psychic powers are. It's like
they can cut through anything. They can make
massive, like... colossal telekinesis, fire,
whatever they want, you wouldn't get close to
them. They'd be like the Thousand Suns on steroids.
I don't think it's as big of an issue as people
think it is, to be honest. Only if they attacked
all at once. If you had 1v1ing each of the custodians,
it would be a wash. Yeah, it'd be a slaughter.
Yeah, but otherwise, it would be pretty deadly.
it is a it's like superman versus batman thing
but batman has prep time yeah it's like yeah
reverse that's a different argument that i despise
it's such a goofy concept well even if he has
kryptonite oh yeah Orbit will strike him. He
can chuck the fucking moon at Batman. You gotta
remember how much prep does Batman have done.
The only way Batman wins that fight is because
Superman is the big blue boy scout and won't
evaporate his inside. Spider -Man pulls his punches
because if he fights Rhino with all of his punch
a hole through him. And that's Spider -Man. Superman,
it'd be like Invincible. It'd just be like, flick.
destroyed entire building block i'm just saying
oh no kidnap lois kidnap lois i'm gonna do a
superman um hey peter check out batman moving
swiftly on biggest swiggan who wants to read
this one the steel legion lore death made me
sad yep Then it wrapped around to being funny
in the same way GW's hatred of Beastmen is funny.
I like Beastmen too. Can't catch any Ws. Thank
you for the $5. Listen, they're dead until there's
a model being made. Yeah. AOS doesn't count.
Making Beastmen in fantasy. Like, oh, we made
Beastmen. It doesn't count if they're in fantasy.
Gotta make Beastmen in 40k. I'm saying that...
can't be vindicated being like we made some beastmen
no you did no for 40k oh no we're just gonna
put them in aos no no no no you gotta put them
in 40k they're a fantasy faction yeah yeah but
they're also a 40k faction and there's like one
they're in necromunda that's not a faction It'd
be even worse than the freaking, like, making
the Votana faction, making the Demiurge faction.
I'm angry. I'm angry this stream. It's not getting
better. Calm you down, Colin. Would you like
to read this last one? Oh, good. I think it's
worked. Great boss, thank you for being a member
for eight months. And the huge PFP, I love that
image. I'd make the Khan be half Eldar and have
one leg. Why one leg? Put him in a really fast
wheelchair. But why one leg? Possum? Possum,
can you DM me the lore please? Yes. DM us all
separately the loplas. I need to know this. I
need to know. Okay, so to get us back on track.
So number four from Kane's handsomest anti -diluvian.
But this one's too how. Oh, let me go. Empire
of the Masquerade dates going here. Yeah. He
says the emperor finally gets off the throne.
And as he does, everything goes dark. We're back
to Warhammer 40k Rogue Trader, aka first edition
lore. Everything ever built up is gone. Only
first edition models will be allowed for official
tournaments going forward. This change should
be made as the 11th edition announcement. You're
going to do a Super Mario World 2 on me? It was
all a dream. To be honest, if they did Warhammer
End Times, that would be a great little reset
thing that they could do so that the universe
still sticks around, but the Imperium gets crazy.
Man just said End Times. Actual rogue traitor,
though. Like, OG. It's like, what? The Imperium
is a robot. Yeah, bring back the rule where you
need to plan your robot's movement five turns
in advance. That's awesome. The Emperor getting
off the throne bit. Is this... before or after
he gets jumped by the Grey Knights, though? Get
over here! The only thing I question I have,
bringing it back to a weird Terminus Decree stuff,
the Emperor would just snap his finger and they're
all gone. Would he, though? I feel like a lot
of the anger comes from the assumption that it
was never said. that the gray knights have a
chance it's it's very much it is a snowball's
chance in hell like i i feel like even they would
acknowledge that yeah we're gonna get bodied
the moment we hit big e but it's you know it's
a last ditch hail mary to keep whatever monster
steps off on the chair but here's a here's a
contention here's a question that might like
ruffle some feathers like he made the custodians
as his idea of what he wanted before the whole
chaos shenanigans happened he's like we're gonna
have peace eternal, we're going to live at large,
it'll be great. He made the Grey Knights as well,
and he made them for a more realistic depiction
of what the future was going to be like. If push
came to shove, who would he side with? The Kasays
are not a side, though. They're like his will.
They do whatever he says. They don't have the
ability to turn against him, unless under very,
very specific, like, chaos -y... overload corruption
thing i mean i'm reading horus rc books right
now for lodge cast and then in nemesis valdor
himself is like keeping secrets from the emperor
and yeah that's what i'm referring so he's a
unique case though like that's i think yeah but
no they're implying like because valdor has the
spear that he has he supposedly is like seeing
so like basically without the emperor talking
to him for like basically years and years at
some points and then he keeps learning about
all these horrific things in the universe and
obviously the far future it implies that it's
important Malkador says like Valdor's kind of
going like he for the first time he's making
his own opinions on things and this was before
that was written probably yeah well yeah I don't
know if the modern custodians like if the emperor
says jump they will say How high? I don't think
they could plot against him, but Valdor maybe.
They couldn't plot against him, but they could
definitely outlive their usefulness, like the
Thunder Warriors or even what was intended possibly
for the Space Marines was like, you're not fit
for purpose anymore. Skadoosh, get in the pit.
Time for the range refresh. Yeah, exactly. We
need new guys. Yeah. so i i know like i think
the terminus decree is like the implementation
is kind of bad because again it's just like theoretical
at this point we don't really know how they would
do it or what contingencies would be in place
and it's like i don't know we'd have to see like
i don't even know what the maximum numbers of
grey knights there are because they're not beholden
to the codex are they they're just there is a
thousand though is it I have to double check
on my, where's my bloody codex? Somewhere around
here. I have to double check because I haven't
looked at it. 10 ,000 custodians, which if it's
10 versus 1, that's not very fair. Yeah, I feel
like 10 ,000 seems like a realistic number, but
I don't know. Because, like, it's 10 ,000 custodians
because they are the 10 ,000. But, like, I thought
from recollection that... Grey Knights were a
bit more like, we're cheeky sons. We're just
really difficult to make and psychos and all
that. If it's Matt Ward Grey Knights, they solo.
They solo every time. Valdor Drago kills Valdor,
kills every custodian. Kills Khorne. Becomes
the Emperor. That's what I want to happen. Where's
Matt Ward when Eli and Colin are... You know,
when the Avatar disappeared for 100 years. One
from Irrational Sense here. Taking some time
to think about it, I think having an actual human
-to -human faction be the big and legitimately
effective chaos threat to everyone else in the
galaxy in the 40K timeline would probably make
some people angry. Not Abaddon or chaos renegades
like Huron, but a human leader and breakaway
faction. Maybe like a jumped up Severan Dominate
causing Goj Vandire levels of unrest, mostly
because it mucks up the power scaling of a lot
of people like to do. Well, again, it's like
this idea of a fracturing of the Imperium would
be cool to see. And I know they won't do it because
it would have been fun to be like, oh, the Lion
and Gilliman have differences of opinion. Therefore,
the Imperium fights upon itself. kind of like
a mini well not even a mini but like the equivalent
of a dab war and then you could have like some
chapters or factions choose not to get involved
some are like well we're sons of the ultramarines
therefore reciting with gilliman and then the
unforgiven and then there's the whole like oh
you know you kind of like refresh this the the
set of guys you had but like we we haven't forgotten
about the fallen now that we know about that
oh we're going to bring that into the table like
you could have some some fun shenanigans But
I guess instead it'll just be, hey, brothers,
let's fight chaos, because chaos is big and bad
and scary, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, I'd like
this suggestion, though, because as I'm sure
Paul Cullen, who's read a few Horus Heresy books
recently, will tell you, the space marine characters
are not as interesting as the human characters.
The human -centered ones are always better books.
Ignatius Carcassie, my beloved. yeah oh the best
pairing is human dominated with space like humans
interacting with space marines and like that's
the that's cool that's the horror i guess of
the future is a regular person trying to go up
against like a super a super machine child soldier
uh what was the rules the uh party said like
was they wanted like a chaos like a main character
trader guard type guy That'd be nice. Like a
High Lords of Chaos almost style thing. Well,
I think it's like maybe not even... Would you
even need them to be... Because Chaos already
has so much stuff. Could it just be like a, I
think democracy is cool. What did you say? And
then like, we think that we should have human
rights faction. Oh no, we're not having that.
But then it's really enticing to all the hive
dwellers who are like, we know we're probably
going to lose and we're all going to die. And
maybe we'll become like... fodder for the gods
of chaos, but if it's working in the starch mine,
you could have some breakaways as things get
more desperate. This is basically like Tau sympathizer
factions. Oh, but you can't like Xenos, so that's
why they're different. You hate them. Yuck, they
say. Surely there is more than one race in the
galaxy that appreciates human rights. Surely
it's not just them. more trader guard representation
would be nice like that kind of stuff yeah so
we had the audio blip there so to make sure people
were awake wow we need to hold the uh the subway
surfer thing well we have game players there
that actually that is how it came about by the
way like the jokes about having subway Oh dear.
That's a good suggestion though. It is interesting.
I think it's a good comment. I like that one.
Who wants to read this one? From Main Event Virgil.
I could rewrite the lore. I would make it so
Xenos are an actual threat to the Imperium instead
of something they curb stomp on the way to fight
some chaos. I would also confirm that both Alpharius
and Omegon are deceased. The one who was alive
after the Horus Heresy stepped on a Lego and
died because Frick the Alpha Legion smiley face.
Wow. Sad days about the Alpha Legion, but yeah,
Necrons, Zenos being a bigger threat would be
nice. To be fair, the Necrons are the biggest
threat. They just don't appear as often, I guess.
I would like to honestly see more into Necron
fighting, though, because they kind of tease
us. They go, Sarek and Imhotek. Imhotek and Sarek.
They were always teasing, like, oh, they're going
to fight each other. It's like, when, please?
They shouldn't fight each other. It's dumb. It
doesn't make any sense why Imhotek would do that.
It does. They all hate each other. yeah it's
like a few noble people and one's like i'm a
general and when i woke up all the people that
were supposed to be in charge were useless so
i deposed them and now the guy in charge is useless
i want to depose him that makes perfect sense
no emotex a very logical being and if given the
option of destroying half of the entire necron
empire that you cannot rebuild it would make
no sense for him to do that at all they're not
idiots like it makes sense better half than none
better half than I don't know. If he somehow
decided I can take over the entire galaxy with
a quarter of the forces that were originally
available to me, then maybe he would do it. They're
all arrogant shits. I feel like his thing would
be sunk cost. It'd be like, I don't want to see
everything go bad. I want to at least salvage
something. Sarek's leaving us down to annihilation,
and he's already made us suffer enough. He's
already completely like... nuked our populace
into automatons, I'm going to be the one who's
going to salvage what little is left. It depends
on how strong Zarek is, to be honest. If he has
the entire Necron species on his side, then why
would you try to fight that? He's been juicing
as well. That guy is so tall. But why? Does he
need to be that tall? Like, he's taller than
every other Necron. Because he's cool. That's
it? I still have to read the Dawn of Fire book
or whatever, the newest one. I don't think he's
really that much in it. I know that he slaps
Gilliman and tells him to go home, though. Average
Warhammer book, guy on the cover, is not in book.
Not again. Not since Fallen. The amount of the
Warhammer books where the main people are not
in it, or their side characters in their own
novels. Honestly, they should be shoved into
dirt. Brought up on charges. They should be bullied
into dirt or something. I could see at least
one conflict between Zarek and Imhotep, but I
don't think it would be a prolonged thing. because
i don't know it's like civil war is already dumb
and it makes sense for the like goofy intrigue
necrons but neither the silent king or immotech
are the intrigue political guys and there's a
finite number of necrons that cannot be recreated
so yeah yeah perfect unless you're fighting hellbreak
and then you can respawn as much as you want
that's okay there's there's a finite number of
necrons that resurrect all the time But once
they're gone for real, then they're gone for
real. Colin, would you like to read this one
from Appalachian? Sure. Anyways, here's my crackpot
idea. Just kind of the simple idea of having
Horus think for five minutes when Erebus was
gaslighting all bullshit on his claims. And it
just kind of spirals from there into madness
at a prospering Imperium and human -dominated
Milky Way for a while. before stagnating into
a civil war that turned most of the galaxy uninhabitable
and humanity in the interstellar dark age again.
Kind of neat. Respectable. I don't know. That'd
be cool to see, but I don't know. It'd be cool.
But then what are we going to have 54 books about?
Yeah, I suppose there's the problem. The happy
ending. This just sounds like, look, they're
pushing the Horus heresy down the line until
someone gets pissy enough rather than chaos.
And here's Dawn and Perturabo frolicking through
a brick foundry. Oh, amazing. They're having
great fun. I love masonry. Me too, brother. And
they got on forever. I just don't get why Horus
is... between Erebus and Magnus goes, I will
not be manipulated. And proceeds to let himself
be manipulated by Erebus. I'm surprised he didn't
bean Erebus on the spot, to be honest. Every
Primarch is arrogant. They think that the Wessers
can't get the better of them. Not every Primarch,
but a lot of them. Or certainly was. Like, Gilliman's
the only one who doesn't like Primarch. And even
then, Gilliman's doing it. for like political
favors he's like i'm seeing the long game like
the scouring book is really good for that so
i suggest reading that if you want to see how
how much the primarchs are like i know we just
caused a massive civil war but like we should
still be in charge and all the mortars like you
sure about that no and much as it hates me to
say this technically erbis is a very successful
like he did kind of win Well, his face got torn
off, but other than that... You can fix that
with chaos juice, no problem. He literally says,
like, I could fix it in a heartbeat, but he doesn't,
because he says he likes the reminder. He likes
the fact that it happened. God, what an arsehole.
Meanwhile, Eidolon's going, could you fix my
face, please? He's like, no, brother. No, I don't
want to. What a dick. I feel like that question
though would be if they did some like that, you
know, like that Marvel, what if like one or two
books and like an alternate timeline, like that'd
be neat. That'd be cool. I have a, I have a current
pay, like word document up for an episode I wanted
to do, which is the Corvian heresy. And we're
going to write. our version of the Horus heresy.
Essentially, we're in bullet points because we're
not right now. The secret sauce is that nothing
happens because the writers forget Corvus Correx.
Exactly. I'd rather have the Glopshittian heresy,
which is a bunch of mortal people overthrowing
the Primarchs through tactical... Let's put a
nuke inside their warship so they can't run from
it and stuff like that. Let's exterminate them
while they're having tea. Do something like that.
I changed one digit in your navigation data.
You're now in a black hole. You just translated
through a sun. Enjoy, Bozo. Shout out to the
one guy who said in a previous video we did,
he said, just make the Primarchs the same size
as the Space Marines, and that is an amazing
suggestion. In general. They are special, and
they're pretty strong compared to Space Marines,
but... like if they were just the normal like
why do they have to be like you know funny if
they were normal people so yeah well here's the
thing that that's the case with one of the lost
primarchs he was basically normal size and so
they thought he was cringe and they lost him
in the ground like no short case They put him
on one of those stretching racks, and they tried
to make him bigger, and he died on the table.
They're like, eesh. Throw him into the sun, I
guess. Lost Primark. The Emperor accidentally
overstretched him and tried to hide the evidence.
Yeah, that's the real secret. The embarrassment.
Whoopsie. Whoopsie. Oh, we are stupid. Next one.
The next one is from Yawar. Have you guys all
done one? Do you want to do this one, Hal? Yawar
says, Dawn is back to being very dead. They only
found his hands. More marines do the whole breeding
world thing the Death Spectres did. Oh, the Crimson
Fist lore. Also, make them look more like mutated
roid monkeys instead of, like, ruggedly handsome.
Make it obvious that 95 % of marines are basically
monsters with an inhuman sense of honour. The
Tau start redeploying their kaiju Xenos allies
and start punching titans. This makes no sense,
but I want it to happen. And an Eldar Aspect
Shrine is based on gun - Oh, so real. Quake TFT,
or TF2 -style rockets. Wow. So real. By the way,
why... Oh, sorry, go for it. The Space Marine
stuff's pretty much what they were in Rogue Trader,
right? Back in the day. Monsters. Yeah, fair
enough. Space Marines were weird. All I'm going
to say is, why have we not had an orc yet called
Titan Puncher? That would have been amazing.
I feel like, yeah. Even if he was just like a
guy like, he didn't live for long. What happened?
He punched a titan. Then it trod on him. Oh,
we had a pretty amazing blaze of glory. Just
like, ugh! And then the Titan goes, squish. That'd
be good. I don't know. I like that. What was
the first suggestion part? Let me look it up.
I can look it up, can't I? They said... Do the
whole reading wall thing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and
Dawn being very dead and just remaining. They
found one of his hands. See, this is my thing
of, I love Horus Heresy. Kill more Primarchs,
please. Kill more Primarchs in the Heresy. Some
of them, like, Gilamon the Lion, that's okay.
I'm okay with that. Like, it's okay. Lorgar,
Horus, all the chaos ones have to live is the
problem. Not the undivided ones, though. He's
still a demon prince. They're coming back. What
I mean is I would have killed them off if I had
the power to do that. You could have a demon
prince that calls itself Lorgar. You don't actually
have to say that's actually Lorgar. What we need
to do, Hal, is we need to petition. We'll do
a change .org petition. And we'll say, we would
like 100 ,000 signatures so that Games Workshop
commission a John Grammaticus mini armed with
a deus ex machina, a .k .a. fulgurite. And he's
like, I've got seven of them. And then he just
goes on a rampage trying to kill all of the demon
primates. He's got a one -up ward save. I don't
feel no pain. It would have been cool if, like,
after Fulgrim kills Varys, he feels so bad that
he turns on the traitors and then dies on Istvan
with his brother. I would like that. I like the
idea of, like, the demon Primarchs. Like, some
of them are not the actual demon Primarch themselves,
but they're made from, like, their dead soul
or something. Like, it's not them, but it's,
like, them in undeath in some sense, which could
be a cool way. Like, you know, any of the undivided
ones, let them die. Like, cause let Abaddon have
his thing. Uh, Gilliman, the lion could be like
the last two, uh, Jagatai Khan. We'll never know
what happens to him. Uh, he's going back next.
Furniture. No, no, no. Chris, Chris Ray chair
says we're going to get Jagatai. Then we're going
to get Corvus. Mark my words. Everyone's like
Lehman and door. I'm like, no, if Chris rates
the goat and he wrote the first scarring book
and he said in his, uh, Yeah, I'll storm call
a book that they would be Gilliman then the lion
then Jagat I yeah Jagat I then call this and
that's what I'm gonna say because it's real also
I do like Mike's one here which is saying five
out of 19 Primark's dead is quite a bit. Yeah
Make it more like as a story sends it particularly
like the, what's the book called? Slaves of Darkness.
It's one of the last books of the Horus heresy.
They have a second triumph for Elinor, like the
dark triumph where they all assemble the demon
Primarchs and the chaos line ones together. And
Logar tries to betray Horus by like enslaving
Fulgrim through his like true name. And then
he tries to get him to attack Horus, who's not
a demon yet. And like, horus should have just
be he lets him go but like he's just like i'm
gonna kill you now it makes no sense he should
have beamed his head in only only two loyalists
primarks dying is kind of silly to be like yeah
let's let's call this Let one more of them. Doing
the crying policeman meanwhile. Let Vulcan and
Corvus die. We haven't got anything. That would
have been crazy. Vulcan and Corvus die and they
take out a traitor with them or something like
that. I don't know. It would be so cool if they
die. More of them died in the Siege of Terra.
That would also be cool. What is your opinion
on Warhammany to do more closing the loop? where
it's like, similar to that, it's like, have a
Primark, have an Ark, and then die, like Conrad
Kurz. Have this character, because even like
Caiaphas Kane is technically killed in action,
right? It's like, the characters need to have
a tenure, and as much as people like Yarek's
back, a part of my soul died, because I was also
a bit like, same again, it was like, we're going
to have another war for Armageddon, we've got
four of them, do we need another one? We have
another planet. When they released the Space
Wolves, refresh and they said we're going back
to armageddon did they ever talk about that ever
again it's it's in the one with the grey knight
on the front isn't it where it's like it's the
crusades it's like the maelstrom they should
be treating they should have it like fantasy
where characters die especially guardsman characters
but their models are still around and you can
still play with them on the table yeah i'm still
a bit salty that erasmus tycho is never been
fully realized but it's like i don't want him
to come back because i'm like he's dead and i
don't really want a prequel about taiko because
he's already had a bit of spotlight it's just
can we just have maybe a an established character
have an arc and die or something uh even like
i i was a bit miffed with i think we were all
a bit miffed who are space marine fans at least
with like oh cave on shrike is now not chapter
master anymore and now it's Another guy who was
in one book. Aethon Sharn. Okay, why? Is Shrike
dead? No, he's just standing down. Because the
model wasn't cool enough. When the setting wasn't
ever progressing, it's a lot easier to have characters
that are dead and still be writing books about
them and stuff. But if it's progressing, you
always have to be replacing these dead characters.
And so then they get forgotten and never talked
about again. And Space Wolves, like, we need
two new companies to replace the Iron Wolves
and the other one. I'm like, oh, here we go.
I'm not doing another Space Wolves video. Sorry,
guys. I'm not doing it. It depends how long they
want to go on for it. Like, there's six Ragnar
Blackmane books. But the thing is, they all start,
like, even with the third book, he's still young.
yeah going through like a character like he's
not he's not finished it whereas like it's different
like if i'm i'm sure colin would agree like the
kyphos cane books i am not here for the character
arc whatsoever no i'm i'm here for the funnies
yeah you know every now and again one of those
novelties can't you a character arc does happen
in those every now and again but it is mostly
there for the funnies But it's also his thing.
It's intertwined with funny man does the shenanigans,
and that's his space in the setting. But I don't
want ten of those in the setting, because Lucas
is already in that territory a bit, and he had
a book. I'm like, cool, that's all we needed.
Thanks. But then with Ragnar, he came back for
the War of the Bees. Saga of the Beast. And it
was like, he kind of killed Gazgul, but he didn't
really. And he became a Primaris. Are we ever
going to see Ragnar again? No. Like I was saying
earlier, you have one funny guy and 99 men doing
their duty because they must. You also got Hagar
who dies. He's the fat space marine. He was a
real one. He was a real one. He was a space marine
so large they had to give him custom armor because
he was so fat. And Torrin, his friend, was also
a... And Torrin survived, but he was like, he
drank wine and he had like, he was groomed hair.
The guy who has the thin mustache. Yeah, he was
like Errol Flynn in space. Cool. And that's what
I like. And again, that was a really early Warhammer
book, but I'd like to see more stuff where it's
like... Novelty is too strong a word, but it's
like maybe some interesting quirky things going
on here and there. And some stuff that just isn't
just close cropped haircut space marine who is
stoic in every chapter and doesn't really have
any defining features. Like Seth is cool, but
he's gone through devastation of Baal and now
we'll never see him again. I mean, the problem
with Space Marines, though, is they're not human
and they're all kind of the same. At least, it'll
have to be like that, I know, but that's kind
of how they were set up at first. Even one that
was interesting, I've been doing research on
Lysander recently, and everyone just thinks,
oh, he's just like stoic Space Marine, but in
his books, he sacrifices a Tech Marine brother
to a demon in order to kill the demon and banish
it. He makes deals on a demon planet with other
demons to kill... an iron warrior character like
he he tests his morals and he gets through it
because he's all like gotta do what i gotta do
i'm like that's quite interesting but we're never
getting another lysander book even though you
just got another new mini and i'm like what's
going on what's going on i think it's it's there's
a general thing about it's because we're so far
into warhammer lore like you know like we need
we're we're so far in the tech tree that we have
maybe explored most of the things within the
limits of like you say they're not warhammer
anymore so someone kind we what we need is someone
or at least some of the novels willing to be
a bit braver and try something new because otherwise
you're going to get another spray spring novel
like let me guess he goes to planet and has a
difficult fight but he emerges victorious like
you can't keep doing the formula every once That's
why one -off characters are great, and books
that don't have main characters in them are really
good, because they can actually kill people and
stuff like that. And you can actually see a character
change and grow and all that. That's why guard
books are so enjoyable. God, we're far from the
original point, I think, at the dawn bit. A little
bit. Should we do some donations before we go
any further? So the first one from Chaotic. Hello,
Chaotic. Hello, Chaotic. He's been here for five
months as a member. Yes. I think we need more
half -naked space marines. Wow. There you go.
Which half? Straight out the gate. Is this the
mermaid question of... Yeah, I... That just reminds
me of Red Dwarf of Cat when he sees a mermaid
and it's the head on the top and it's the legs.
She walks out of there and he's like, cooey!
And Lister's like, isn't that the wrong way around?
And Cat's like, no! That's the stupid way up.
Like, ew. Oh no. Yeah. Tyborough's the colorblind
wig. Thank you for being a member for eight months.
Lord Strange, every Angron scene, his hog is
out. Actually, if Angron was just a naked dude
running around all the time, that would be character
fitting and kind of awesome. His only voice line
now is the Roadhog ult. I'm ready to go full
hog. Just mod the final battle from Dante's Inferno
where you fight Satan, and he's got his willy
just flopping around. The poor Grey Knight is
fighting under his legs. the third sword oh my
god crazyaxeman1751 thanks for the two bucks
man I got timed out in DAVC for not saying that
oh bro you got timed out in the VC for not saying
you should continue not saying that that doesn't
sound like a reason that seems no that doesn't
seem right that's the wrong way around you know
that weird pyramid thing that mechanicus wants
i would make it open up and it would release
all the 30k xenos back into 40k like the crave
that's cool that's quick you could have action
thank you like xenos undivided and it's just
some leader because i've all those like species
you tried to purge during the great crusade I've
been on the telephone. I've got them all here.
Enjoy, bitches. That'd be fun. I'd love it if
the Interrex randomly showed up again. Just like,
we didn't get them all, guys. Enjoy our centaur
bow -wielding humans. It's like a Batman who
fought alongside aliens. 10 ,000 years in the
making. By the way, Keag Noom has requested that
we choose a maid outfit in the... Yes. I have
chosen. wow okay hold on number three please
uh spooky kabuki one two two thank you man our
resident uh rules uh lawyer thank you man uh
five bucks thank you man uh imagine ross wasn't
a moron and the loyalists had the strongest psyker
in the galaxy other than big e on their side
hashtag magnus for life crazy crazy our resident
thousand sons player I do hate that if Ross had
grown up on another planet, he would be less
of an idiot. Crazy Axeman, 7051, thank you for
being a member for four months. You paint your
Kriegers as purple Kriegers. So the orcs can't
see it. I'm a tank. I'm a tank. Thank you all
for your attention. Thank you very much, everybody.
Next few. Have we done this one? Oh, here we
go. This one's for you, Eli, I think. I would
make the Tao unironically the good guys instead
of brainwashing the other cast for a very important
reason. There is a prevailing idea in the fandom
that the Imperium is oppressive and tyrannical
because it has to be in order to survive. This
is not only not true, but the Imperium survived
in spite of its oppression, not because of it.
A morally good... Tao Empire would help to demonstrate
that fact and highlight the needless cruelty
and self -destruct nature of the Imperium. That's
what I liked about the Inter -X. Nope, Phil Kelly
is going to keep writing Tao books and they're
going to suck forever. To be fair, if you read
non -Phil Kelly Tao books, that is still what
the Tao are. So if you just ignore all the stupid
Farsight books, then the Tao are still pretty
good. Which is all of them. Most of them, unfortunately.
Four books, yeah. It's like over half of the
Tao books are written by Phil Kelly, I think.
There are still the good guys who have to do
some bad things every once in a while in most
of their other books. Phil Kelly did War of Secrets
as well, where he made the Dark Angels look terrible.
Oh, no. And the Tao were in that one as well.
He's not doing anything for the Tao, even when
it's not about Farsight. No, get him out of here.
Get him out of here. He can be an okay... to
good writer i just disagree with direction he
takes like i don't think it's like you're not
poorly written it's just i wouldn't choose that
yeah really bad or if tigris is objective yeah
the whole subplot of like oh the dark angels
are going to kill their own primaris just to
prevent them from learning about the holland
even though like that's virtually gone like i
was just going to completely doom our chapter
from ever being reinforced ever again and we're
really sloppy about how we keep this secret it's
like this doesn't make any cohesive sense and
there's a tau warp god now oh yeah so stupid
so stupid oh oh how i almost got blown off the
edge there on the uh the gameplay yeah and uh
on the other note In 30K, the Imperium survived
despite the oppression. In 40K, unfortunately,
without the oppression, most people would turn
to chaos and gene stealers and it would be bad.
No. Everything's ruined in 40K. That's the whole
point. No, the entire point is that everything's
ruined in 40K. 30K, Horus Heresy destroyed what
the Imperium could have been and chaos is led
into the chaos. It would have been awful without
chaos. It would have been better. They didn't
need the oppression before the freaking chaos
stuff came out. Now they oppress people because
of chaos. There's two other whole settings about
how to deal with chaos without being a total
prick. I don't know. There are bits in the Horror's
Heresy where it's just like, Space Marine number
75 looked at his arming slave and went, here's
what now? It wasn't good. It was a lot better,
though. It was hard to see my goat. He knew.
It was still bad. The Emperor's still a jerk.
They tried to silence him. All these woke Imperials,
they try to decide it's my boy Ignace. Eventually
we're going to fall and they beat him half to
death. It was not better. It was better. I don't
think you can say that it wasn't better than
it is now. At least we didn't have to worry about
becoming, like, Gribblies. That's, like, an extra
problem on top. And the Ecclesiarchy wasn't around.
You still had to worry about becoming a Gribbly.
They just didn't tell you you might become a
Gribbly. Not like an anime Gribbly. Not like
a, look how many tentacles can come out of my
arse. It was so much more minimal until they
were let in. Because the Emperor handed them
an army. I have this part in my head where...
So, like, annoyingly, in, like, Warhammer lore,
the Emperor says, like, he does his whole Great
Crusade and his whole arc thing, because he says
if he doesn't do this, the human race will eventually
be, like, destroyed by either Xenos or, like,
by Chaos, by, like, whatever version of the human
version of the Sonesh bomb that goes off. But
I'm of the, I like the idea of, I don't know
if GW ever do this because it's a weird part.
They don't want this vibe on their lore, but
I like the idea the only reason humanity ever
is in trouble with chaos is because they rise
to the threat that is the Emperor. I like that
idea of the Emperor... He's the ultimate problem
because if the Emperor hadn't done what... If
there was no future where he did that and he
just let humanity do whatever it wanted to do,
it would be okay. It would survive. It would
be like the Eldar. At some other point, it would
minimally fall to power. Another thing would
rise. Good old squid people or something. Or
the dolphin people. It's meant to happen. I talked
about that in my last video. Just finishing off
the point, which was... I assume in Games Workshop's
vision slash in Warhammer lore in general, this
is what I think, that the whole point, like,
it's the reason that the, like Elo has said,
like, you know, there's a story of, like, the
Forge World riot or the other planets where if
you don't comply with the Imperium, if you don't
have horrible conditions and other things, you
know, basically you get destroyed by Chaos or
Xenos. Like, the whole point, like, it's the
Imperium's cruelty is, like, in quotes justified
in their weird sense the emperor going we'll
have human rights eventually the whole the whole
point though that version of the like that version
of the future where there's a like a like it's
meant to be in quotes the cruelest and most bloody
regime imaginable like the whole point like it's
a nightmare like that something would have to
do that and i i think maybe some people would
lose the irony of it and i think a big part of
warhammer is because again like the the main
three chaos gods were all also born out of humanity's
psyche and the idea that humanity a big boost.
Like it's on steroids now because of humanity.
Yeah. All right. Okay. I'll put it that way,
but it's like the idea of humanity, like maybe
we'll have servitors and maybe we'll like do
these violations of human rights. I guess like
Horace has to say, Oh no, no, no. That gradual
then plummet. And then. Oh, what's that be like?
The, the, the Imperium also like flip -flops
between, being the worst place imaginable and
ninety percent of it is actually like it's pretty
fine oh yeah and we see the ten percent and the
ten percent are what the like where all the bad
stuff happens like it's so vast there are some
worlds which would never even know that space
marines are a thing that don't know chaos exists
and the imperium doesn't tell people out of chaos
chaos unless it's go time even like the the recent
foray i did into the night books it was like
these places are quite nice to live and then
word bearers turned up and say oh no and they
have to break it to the night houses like the
king is like by the way space marines can turn
evil and they're like what yes there's there's
levels of oppression that are necessary and then
there's like forge worlds and hive cities and
stuff that suck but like there's there is a baseline
where it's like you have to worship the emperor
you cannot worship or listen to anything else
because this entire world could fall to chaos
like that's 100 justified and necessary even
like every single rule book since whatever edition
has said the imperium has to do this uh yeah
but i think okay so you get cold i don't know
my thing is it's the dictatorship says you must
do what the dictatorship says otherwise yeah
every part of the imperium is on the same level
of like awful dictator authoritarian evil place.
It's usually the parts the Imperium forgets about
that are allowed to be alright. Even the alright
places still have to follow some rules or they
could be compromised horrifically. The one thing
I would say is as bad as the Imperium can get,
just play that one... animation from hammer and
bolter where like that death guard guy turns
another death guard into a mega gribly and it's
like this is terrible but like the alternative
is worse how many orifices does he need or why
are they biting you present me with a forked
road i will simply not walk on either of the
roads i'll make my own we weirdly get in the
i just mostly from like my perspective is like
we shouldn't there's a thing of like you know,
oh, we're so horrible and evil and terrible.
We're not as evil as literal hell itself. Whereas,
like, I think at the heart of it, there should
be a thing to suggest that wasn't the only choice.
It was just the emperor's fault. And therefore,
there's a path which is like, you know, oh, it
didn't have to happen. You know, the universe
just sucks. It didn't have to happen, but it
happened and now it's the only choice because
of what happened. Yeah. Which I think is legitimately
just the lore. They just don't say that very
often. But if they say it's the only choice,
then it would really be like, hey guys, thank
God our universe is 100 % dictator guaranteed.
That's why I think... um going back to a comment
we had earlier it'd be fun to see like a splinter
of the imperium or humanity that are like let's
try and be good people and see how far they get
in the circumstance and maybe have a bit where
like at the end of it it's like we had all the
best intentions but we had all these chaos uprisings
and then we had deals with xenos and they betrayed
us and you could be like let's give them like
a steel clad every opportunity to be good people
but the setting is just so toxic that it didn't
matter because at the end of the day even with
the best intentions it was still a shit show
like i think that would be a really interesting
story where you could like steel man every possible
thing and then it's just like and then it ends
with exterminatus like oh no and and and for
a while tau were kind of doing that with we're
just going to be goodies and then that's kind
of changed now yeah the Tau are nice because
they're resistant to chaos. So they can actually
exist without having like chaos doesn't exist.
I mean, even though Phil Kelly wrote that the
ethereals lied about chaos and it was just the
horse heresy all over again, but they can still
exist and like work together with other things
because they have, they are there a new ish society
that hasn't been completely destroyed by their
own horse heresy. To sum up that massive segment
we talked about. Thanks, Phil Kelly. Yeah. Thank
you, Phil. Thank you, Philip. Very cool. Do we
just do this one? No, I think it's on the same
lines, is it? Because this is a wrap. Yeah, because
I think that one was there. I'm going to choose
my maid outfit now while you guys are doing that.
Okay. Next one. From 2009 mortgage rates type
beat. Balthazar Gelt should kill all living Primarchs
with a brick. Wow. Yeah, that's beast. That's
awesome. Huge, huge, huge. This is what I picked.
Hell yeah. Funny. Why with a brick? He's a man
of gold. Is he deserving? No, he transmutes a
lead bar or a gold bar into a lead brick and
then just puts it in a sock and beats him over
the head with it. Better than any horse heresy
book. Why are you making me do this? Exactly.
You see the vision. Why are you doing this? I
am supreme. That's all he has to say. It's very
simple. Kill with brick. That is a funny one,
though. Get bricked, idiot. Brick top. Brick
top with bricky. And then kill bricky. Jesus.
Here's one. Who wants to read this one? Have
the orcs win Armageddon back and put a grot in
charge. Two thumbs up. Two thumbs up from me.
Red Gobageddon. There you go. It's right there.
We need to cover the bloody Uftak Black. Is it
Black Hawk? The second Drukari book, which has
the Gretchen communist uprising. Oh, yeah. That
is a great book. Have you guys read any of the
Red Gobbo stuff? Like the actual book? Because
they're all short books. There's no book book.
But they're all really good fun. I've got to
be honest. Denny Flowers ones are pretty good.
And it's usually never the same Red Gobbo. It's
more an ideal. Like I remember that you wouldn't
expect it in a Red Gobbo book, but they reintroduced
the idea that the Orcs and the Gretchen are descended
from the Crocs and that the Gretchen used to
be the officer class. And then they slowly devolved
and then they weren't listened to anymore and
they got smacked in the mouth. And now the Orcs
that exist today are like the frontline grunts
who've now just brutalized their way to the top.
And now the Gretchen is like, I used to be in
charge. And they have like a vision and one of
the Gobbos sees all the previous Gobbos and sees
how the Necrons were involved in the war in heaven.
And it's like, oh, that's really, really interesting
lore. And is it a freaking Gobbo book? I'm like,
amazing. You never know where it's going to turn
out. I love the Orc books. They're just so, like,
because they're not trying to be the best one
book ever, but they're always so enjoyable. Shout
out to Princess the Squig. And why is princess
called princess? How? Because it's a pit bull.
It's a squig. Because they're on a titan. Oh,
a princess. And they misread it and they go,
princess. And it's a princess. Yeah, that's a
fun little detail. They knew what they were doing.
It is princess the pit bull as a personal squig.
Oh god, that is a princess. We do the UFTAG episode
at least because that's actually so fun, those
ones. Yeah. Bro got infected with a virus and
became hench and they went, I am now smart. Wow.
What a guy. Do you want to try this one, Eli?
Sure. Genesis. Wow. Titus needs to die soon.
Get him out of there. I'm also okay with that.
It's funny when Ultramarine characters are OP
and it's also funny when they die off screen.
There's no losing. You can always be happy no
matter what an Ultramarine does. I do hope Space
Marine 3 just loads up. It's not Titus anymore.
That'd be really funny. You play the tutorial,
but instead of 2 where you fight the big boy,
what's his name? The big Tyranid. No, that was
a... Was it a Carnifex? The Karnifex, yeah. But
instead, you fight the Karnifex and then he falls
down and he's like, no, he didn't go through
the Rubicon this time. He's dead. Okay, now play
another Spaceman. Oh, who are you playing as
now? Gadda's. Get Gadda's in the helm of it.
You didn't parry. Just play as a servitor. My
little servitor. Space Marine game, but you're
actually the servitor attached to the tank. Could
you imagine a girly pops game where it's like,
you know, like those crappy Barbie flash games
you see and they're like, accessorize Barbie,
but it's a servitor. And it's just like all the
different like strand of someone's hair and like
different eyeballs and like bravings and stuff.
If there was ever a game where you got to be
a tech guy and you had your own servitor retinue
and you could dress them up like Barbie dolls
or something, that would be awesome. It's not
quite the same. They kind of did a little bit
of that with Mechanicus where how you upgraded
your tech priest changed how he looked, which
I think was kind of cool. Like the upgrade you
got changed his form with different legs and
arms and stuff. But yeah. Because Space Marine
2 was quite customised for like, honestly, I
booted it up a few times just to like customise
the character so I could like, if I wanted to
paint something, I was like seeing how it looks
before I even painted. It's actually quite cool.
This is the value. This is the only real value
that Space Marine 2 has. As a veteran of fashion,
you take that back, Eli. Fashion is everything.
I know Cole likes it the most because there's
drip. That's the only reason that guy plays the
game. drip can make you play a game a lot longer
than you ever wanted to to be honest players
are still in the trenches hold on doesn't dota
2 have skins that are like over a grand i was
like oh it's 10 cents it's five what the and
then i looked at that and i i instantly had whiplash
i'm like oh god no yeah you can you could have
a hundred thousand dollar dota uh inventory probably
it's no it's nowhere near the levels of crazy
that csgo is though Or is it Dead or Alive Beach
Volleyball 2 has something like 10 grand's worth
of cosmetics you can buy on the marketplace or
something crazy? I'm sure any Paradox Games DLC
is running for that trophy as well. The DLC subscription,
the Paradox subscription. Or is it Genshin Impact?
That's the one where it's like an animation.
Well, there's a lot of things wrong with that
game. It's just the games in general, right?
I wouldn't know. I'm attracted to legal age women.
We all know that's a bit of a taboo in anime.
Wow, the eyebrows were certainly lifted there.
Next one. Legiacus? Yes. Hal, are you beating
off? What was that noise? Sorry. Yeah, baby!
That's what I'm talking about! I don't know if
it's been said, but full stop, remove all the
Primark. Here's my heinous take, right? Let me
preface this, right? We're getting on a bit,
right? I know this the most because I'm the oldest.
I'm basically 40, 50 in two years, right? So,
at the rate they're going... I'll be dead before
any of the other Primarchs come back. Are you
aging like a clone trooper? What? Think about
it. Think it right. So we had Gilman back in
8th edition? 2017. So in the span of almost a
decade, we've had two Primarchs back from the
loyalists. So... I'm a demon Primarch, to be
fair. yeah but like but like let's just concentrate
on loyalists vulcan lehman russ corvus corex
jagatai khan uh vulcan i said vulcan already
i think you're right that's everybody but if
there's one every like four years that's for
a 12, 16 years. I'll be 50 by the time they're
out. I'm going to be too old to play Warhammer
anymore. I'll be like, I've got to get my tombstone
sorted out. I've got to pay for my funeral preparations.
The average Warhammer player is like 40. But
then they won't be here either. They'll be like,
no, we're gone too. True. I understand that there's
an element of we don't want to have another end
times. But at the same time, when do we say that
the setting ends? Because if you think about
the shareholders and people who run it, it's
like they've had a good run of like 40 years
of this setting. And for the first 10 plus years,
it wasn't that fast. It was very like, oh, we
bait the miniatures and we need to like have
a little set dressing for it. Then they started
making the novels about 20 odd plus years ago.
And now there's 400 of them. And it's like, oh,
how long is this going to go before we get into
like soap opera, Emmerdale? I guess maybe we're
already in Emmerdale, Coronation Street levels
right now. soap opera but like when when it's
too late and when it's too soon for a primark
to return when they've run out of scouring novels
like they once the two years time what like at
this rate bro i think it's gonna be a scouring
novel every year but um yeah most other things
that's pretty good going there's only like you
know three Lord of the Rings books. And one Hobbit
prequel one. So, you know, not a prequel came
out first, but yeah, I think we'll be okay, to
be honest. It's a galaxy. It's a universe. It's
got time. What's the gameplay here? Sorry, there's
a whole Ogryn that's exploded into meat chunks.
But here's the thing. We've already mentioned
Space Marine fatigue a little bit. When does
Warhammer fatigue kick in? If we've got 20 more
years before all the Primarchs come back, how
many Space Marine novels can we stomach until
it's like, oh, Corvus is here. i that's that's
different because we're our perspective is completely
twisted on it because we yeah they know people
get into it and stuff and also we we like consume
we work on it every single day most people don't
like think about warhammer every single day we
have a problem gw has shown multiple times so
they don't really care about loyal or old fans
and they just do whatever attracts new people
whoever has the money That is the question of
which direction it goes. It's the way of the
corporation, unfortunately. Follow the money.
Yeah. So what you're saying is we should have
a primarchy year and then we'll be good. Colin
did the angry teacher. Everybody hated that.
Kill him. Yeah, get in the shower. Take a shower
there. Wipe that stink off you. I think, to be
fair, if it's every other edition, pace it out.
You've got time. Every edition's four years,
man. Every other edition. Eight years of time
work. Yeah. So that'd be another guillotine.
Well, that's kind of my point. It's like the
shareholders want to make the bucks. I'm sorry,
am I asking the shareholders? You're asking me.
No, no, no. I'm just saying realistically, if
the shareholders are like, could you just like,
this is your most popular thing in the setting,
which is Primark's, and they go, yeah. It's like,
I'm 58. Could we maybe like make all of them
before I'm 100? Could we squeeze it dry before
I move to Florida, guys? And every time a Primark
comes out, us lore youtubers we have a collective
orgasm because it's like oh we could do a video
on that amazing and so like it's uh it's a case
of realistically like if it is every other edition
we get a primark then it'll be what like 16th
18th edition when we get all the loyalists back
and then there's still some chaos primarks we
haven't seen like lorgar we haven't seen perdurabo
in a while uh we've seen morty because he's kind
of a dish There's a few Chaos ones we haven't
seen in a while. And now Abaddon's been like,
oh, what follows from the Black Crusades? Arcs
of Omen, I guess? And everyone's like, okay.
It's like, what's the next big thing? Because
now Cadia's gone. What's the next big thing?
Where's Terra? Have you got your slop vision
goggles on, finally? As in, we know the gig.
We know the game. i'm just saying whatever is
interesting like they produce a lot of stuff
we just pick out the interesting things yeah
yeah but i'm just like it's now yeah i don't
know it's just the thing of like post 999 m41
we're now in this new millennium and i'm like
god of blight was fun but now i'm also like now
what's like the next infinity war equivalent
where like cadia was that for warhammer and then
there was other things like devastation of baal
and stuff but now there's like We've had Rin's
World, we've had Hell's Reach, we've had all
these classic things that have gestated over
a decade plus. Now I'm like, what have we got
now? Armageddon 5? Yeah, honestly, Armageddon
has been beaten to death, resurrected and beaten
again. I might be over Armageddon. Let it die.
Blow it up. Blow up Armageddon. It can't be the
fifth war because it's been like 10 years or
something at most. Yeah, it's silly. The orcs
have been trying... This is the orcs' catia.
Everyone makes fun of Abaddon for failing to
take catia a couple times. The orcs have been
fighting for how long and Gazpal hasn't taken...
Armageddon once? Like, Yorks are kind of a meme.
The fight is the fun to them. There is no victory.
The fight is victory. Winning is boring. And
who do you have to fight? I mean, the next planet.
Yeah, but this planet keeps giving good fights.
You don't want to conquer it, then there's no
more Armageddon fights. Here's a pitch for you,
right? What if the Drukhari allied with the Harlequins?
Because they already work quite well with them.
Because the Harlequins are just like, we need
to make the Eldar race strong no matter what.
We're kind of on everyone's side in the Eldar,
but no one's side at the same time. Make Komarok
great again? No, my idea would be, what if the
Drukhari make a webway backdoor to attack Terra?
And they basically go, we're going to attack
the Throne World from the webway. And we're going
to do a mass assault so that we can dethrone
the emperor. And therefore, like, we've got them
by the balls because we're the ones who have
to repair it anyway. But also, we could put some
pressure on. And then you could have, like, the
Drukhari have, like, a fun thing. Because they're
not doing anything. Everyone in the comments
is getting grumpy that I think Katia instead
of Katia, whatever. It's gone. It's gone. It's
exploded. Who cares? of the German version of
Space Marine 2, where it's the Commissar on the
tank and he goes, The rock eyebrow. So you've
seen that. Do we have one last one? Yeah, might
be the last big one. This is number 15. This
is from Irrational Sense again. The next big
Space Marine -focused character will be the Imperial
Fist Chapter Master. Edit. No, Dawn isn't returning
to fight Purty. We're finally going to write
something about this guy, possibly poorly. Here's
the problem with that. Can anyone name the Imperial
Fist Chapter Master? I thought it was Lysander
for the longest freaking time. Admiral Thrawn.
Gavin. G and N or something. His name is Gregor
Dessian. And he replaced the previous guy who
died in -universe 10 years ago. Who replaced
the previous guy who in -universe died 10 -ish
years ago. He hasn't even got art. They should
make Lysander the chapter master. Because he
has an interesting thing. He was lost in the
warp for a thousand years. Came out. No problem.
Get him back into the first company. He had a
few books. I've read them. They're alright. They're
pretty good. Put him in chapter master. Why not?
He's got a mini. he's already missed a fist make
it mr fist proper go on top ten things are never
gonna happen like the imperial fists are the
neglected child of the space marines not that
i'm saying that compared to xenos they are they
are the child who's received a bouquet every
year on their birthday whereas xenos don't receive
anything it's that meme of the child in the swimming
pool with the mother and then like in the water
struggling to swim is like the imperial guard
and then under the water is the elder as a skeleton
or and it's like elder slash slash slash slash
um damn i don't know like I don't think Colin's
bothered about Imperial Vests. I don't think
many people are, unfortunately. I think they're
cool, but I'm also not in a rush to read about
them. Is anybody? The heresy stuff is cool. I
did like that. All their cool heresy guys went
to the other chapters, though. Yeah. Dawn is
cool, though. Dawn is surprisingly quite... interesting
Primark. Rogal door is dead. Get over it. Shut
the door on Dawn. Hashtag shut the door. Shut
the fridge. Is there any last donors we have?
There are some donations. So we had one from
Kaband as Mighty Shlong. I would make Bellacor
the warmest war mester of chaos. I tired of chaos
overlords who don't fully embrace chaos. Respectable.
Chaos Remembrance. I would like one big Chaos
guy to just commit and also not be one of the
gods. Yeah. That could be quite cool. Although
it better cause a bit of a bitch sometimes. 40k
years. The Young Graves. My most heinous retcon
would be that Terra is not actually Earth and
that... The first planet in Horus Rising is actually
the real Earth. It'd be so funny. Oh, that would
be hilarious. That would be awesome. And then
Terra was Unicron the whole time. And then Spider
-Man appears because of the multiverse. Hey everybody,
what's going on here? Mutant! Kill the mutant!
And then it goes crazy. No, he's not a mutant.
We have those in Marvel too. Joe Pippin for five
bucks. Thank you, man. I would make Night Lords
a united renegade slash traitor force. No chaos,
less skinning, and they learn other tactics besides
fear and Savitar returns. Respectable. Can I
vent for a second? The amount of times I get
a comment on one of my Night Lords videos like,
do a video on Decimus. Do a video on Decimus.
Throw us one chapter to his name. What am I going
to do about this character who's at the end of
the Night Lords omnibus? Who doesn't do anything
about, say, I'm going to have a novel one day
and then never gets a novel. What do you want
from me? Yeah. Sorry. Donkey Man, you were saying.
With the steel chair at the end. He's here. Thank
you, man. Got drunk and passed out. Just woke
up anyways. Stream late due to Hal going to Lovecraft's
cat. Thanks, man. I was on acceptable losses
earlier today. Yes, you were. Talking about something
with a lot of tendrils again. Hal loves his...
What's it called in hentai? I can't remember
what it's called. That thing. What was that cat's
name again? We all have Google. Come on. We're
not falling for it. New Zealand dollars. Thank
you. Bring back Gorka Morka as a gift, please.
It's currently in Trayson's collection. Source
into the divine. It is. Please make it a game,
though. The Red Goblin got his start there. He
did also destroy Fenris and turn the wolves into
Viking raiders. A big ship. You can make them
actual Vikings then. They have to go out and
explore and trade and do stuff and not sit in
Fenris all the time. We plot armor and we beat
the Inquisition. They're barely there. Yeah.
Well, just don't fucking obliterate it. Send
the Death Star after it. Question. What are our
thoughts on the upcoming Rogue Trader Trazin
the Infinite Vault DLC? Looks... I'm keen to
give it a go, I think. I like when Trazin's here.
I still haven't played Rogue Trader. I am recording
up a... I have finished my Trazin. trezin sorry
script and i'm currently recording my trezin
video at the moment i've had a lot of this guy
in my life right for the last few weeks i've
been in his vaults many times said hal uh the
treason files are crazy guys oh no all will wear
green hat in nine weeks in nine weeks what is
it what day is it first there was man with great
billy andro billy ando belly and belly and no
pancreas i'm sorry first there was there thank
you i don't know what that means great with belly
and no okay i see i understand yeah yeah yeah
very nice he's being cheeky thank you man uh
other than that though thank you guys for all
the uh comments if you guys wanted to participate
your listener we are obviously on uh discord
as well if that's where everyone was sending
their responses so if you want to make us say
funny things uh by the way there are things we
could not say for youtube purposes because i'm
pretty sure some of the stuff you guys were saying
after i asked you for help uh um yeah that was
pretty bad uh if Before we're done, does everyone
want to say their one heinous lore take? What
is it? Baldur Punching Asshole. What is his name?
Chris Redfield, please. Yeah. Well, you've already
kind of heard my one, which is I think we need
more Primux more quickly because I'm getting
on and I want to see it before I die. So that's
my heinous take. oh sorry it was the one from
lollipop said maybe depends on the woman but
yeah fair we need more monstrous women that was
also a comment of like no context whatsoever
um i think it's not really a heinous little tape
but i just i think i said it a few times in different
streams like i would just kill more of the primarchs
off and i would happily like i'm talking nuggle
eats one, whatever. I think a few more of them
should have died so they become more interesting
in mythology. One of them messed up real bad
to have that be their fate. How did you get there?
I don't mind if the Primarchs come back quickly
and then die off quickie. It's like, cool. As
long as Jagatai survives, I'll be fine. Because
he's cool. One tripped and fell in the shower.
Colin? Mine is always Games Workshop can so easily
have their cake and eat it too. Make Storm of
Chaos the old world timeline so we can have Warhammer
Fantasy and AOS. It's right there. It would be
so easy. I guess it's more of a company decision.
Failing that, it would be bring back Felix. Bring
back Felix. I don't care. Bring back Felix. Respectable.
Failing that, just confirm Franz is the Celestian
Prime. I want to always change my subtitle, by
the way, whenever I'm doing this stream. Thanks,
Andy. I know it's you. It must be. Is that everybody
in? I think... Return to the Tau Empire. Anva's
dead. The big bad evil guy is dead. Farsight
should go back and make amends with the Ethereals,
especially, and Aunchi can facilitate it. I was
going to say, Eli, would you be opposed to Aunchi
becoming the main Ethereal? That'd be cool. I
feel it'd be weird for him, but he is getting
super old. He's the only one left. Aundo is dead.
Aunchi is dead. He's the only game in town. Yeah,
Aunchi's around. He would make a good leader.
He's more of a... I'm on the front lines goofing
off type of guy, but he's a wise fellow and he
would be a good ethereal Supreme. He's like extremely
old. He could be like, Hey, maybe that like manipulation
stuff was real, but let's return back to 10 years
ago because I'm here. Yeah. Well, the, the, the
most recent farsight book implies that I don't,
she has been like making changes and stuff or
at least working on it. but like it's weird in
the timeline because it happens before anva's
dead and now anva's dead and there hasn't been
any actual like change like almost happened what
a way to end the stream I was hoping that would
calm her down, but it's done the exact opposite.
She's like, I'm famous. I'm a star. We have one
donation left from Joe Pippin. Joe Pippin, I
have not forgotten you. He's there going, read
my donation. I see it. Just found out Lovecraft
cat's name, man. What the fuck? Yeah. This is
Hal's idol, by the way. no crafts number one
guy loves them not no the dude is creepy as hell
just don't google what um eric clapton's fender
stratocaster was called you'll be fine um yeah
all right anyway that was your anus takes apparently
i learned from possum he did not name the cat
But he kept the cat's name. I'm just kidding,
Possum. His name is George now. That would have
been the sane take. I'm just kidding, Possum.
We'll see you guys all very soon on the next
ones. Thank you so much for listening, for watching.
Spotify and all that good stuff. See you guys
soon. Bye. Thank you very much, everybody. We
love you a long time. Say bye to Athena, everyone,
in the chat. Bye.