everybody ladies and gentlemen today it is war
crimes and today it is green hat day welcome
to war crimes we will be talking about tech marines
and by we i mean andy andy is going to talk a
lot about tech marines today yeah in store for
us mister yeah we're going to talk about tech
marines because space marine 2 is our lifeline
whenever we need something to talk about let
me explain It's our lifeline whenever there's
anything we need to talk about. And there's just
been an update on Space Marine 2, where you get
to play as a tech marine, which I've had a go
at today and a bit yesterday. So you'll also
get to see my gameplay of me crumping the boys
on that. But before we start, boys, what is your
knowledge of tech marines? Do you like them?
Do you find them meh? What's your opinion on
tech marines? They're fine. The art looks cool,
usually. They're from... They're from Mars. They
learn their stuff on Mars. They're aloof and
mysterious. Chat, by the way, this outfit, I
wore this when I was 12 years old. This is my
Link costume from when I was 12 and it still
fits me. Huge. I wore a green hat. This was not
planned. Actually, I remember it was Green Hat
Day and I looked over in a bag in my office and
my Link costume was in it because I just took
it from my parents' house a couple weeks ago.
So it worked out quite well. But I'm slutty,
Link. Yep. Very good effort. Hal's not here today,
we're afraid, so he'll have to be green -hatted
another day. Colin, what's your opinion on Tet
Marines? You know, I... They're cool. Look, I've
said before, if I have... If the cyberpunk future
comes, I'm either going to be the male version
of Rebecca from Cyberpunk Edgerunners and just
be blue or General Grievous with just nothing
left. I can appreciate what they do, but otherwise
take them or leave them. They're not quite full
ad mechs, so they don't get the full 10 out of
10 points, but they're on their way. and um also
i'm gonna do a plug for uh for people if you
do like tech marines and stuff i did a mini with
major kill for major minis we collaborated on
the iron morlock and you're only able to pick
it up today and tomorrow there's a little qr
code here if you want to click it for any details
it's like here so check that out if you'd like
to and with that other than that I think we should
just jump into Tet Marines. I have Necrons that
I have to paint today. I have a tournament tomorrow,
so I'm going to paint some Necrons while we talk
about Marines. We all know who the Omnissiah
really is, so it's worked out. It's topical.
Shut up. He's the Omnissiah. You're wrong. He's
my Omnissiah. Also, Eli, are you happy with the
new Traz and the Infinite DLC on Rogue Trader?
Yes, I saw that. confession i've never played
rogue traders still i think i have it but i've
never actually played it but maybe maybe now
that there's nequans in it i'll uh i'll pull
up it's a solid game before can you tell me what
you do as a tech marine in the in the game because
there's no vehicles to do tech marine stuff with
well you can pull out a turret well there's turrets
kind of scattered throughout the missions now
so you can just be like hey i'm gonna like activate
this turret and it'll just mulch anything nearby
you can tell he's got a little um gun on his
shoulder so your super move is it just hits anything
nearby and you can get like a plasma gun version
you can get like an upgrade where it just targets
the heavier enemies instead of the smaller ones
it's pretty pretty cool really and it's like
melee weapons are very crowd controly But there
he's slow. So I had a little bit of fun trying
to get the hang of him. This is my first game
as, like, level one on a ruthless map or something.
You see, like, all the little yellow dots. It's
just shooting everything over your shoulder.
Oh, interesting. That's fun. Yeah, I liked it.
But for those who don't know, the Tech Marines
are also known as the Freighter Astrotechnicus,
and they were sired at the end of Unification,
beginning of the Great Crusade, because the Emperor
made an alliance with some creepy weirdos. called
the Adepts of Mars. You fellas, what are the
Adepts of Mars? What's their idea? What's their
shtick? It's the Admech. The Adeptus Mechanicus.
But it was the Mechanic him back then, right?
Yes, sir. They come before they cuss. It's actually
been a long time since I've looked in it. I don't
even remember the history of Mars. It's just
a human colony that turned into weirdos who worship
the Omnissiah. Machinery and stuff. you know,
they were always, you know, they were always,
they were, they're always really, really into
machines. And then the age of strife happened.
And then the, the people who were perhaps a little
too into machines were the ones who survived
because they religiously just maintain stuff.
And then, you know, one age of strife later,
you come out of that hell hole and I worship
machines and, you know, fair enough. You can
call them weird if you want, like everyone else
seems to be doing here right now, but I would
just like to point out. that they were getting
out and about in the galaxy before even the emperor
did. They were so important to the emperor that
the emperor let them stay religious. Also, Eli,
someone's saying, what's up with the do -rag?
It's not a do -rag. It's a, what's it called?
It's a cap. It's probably the size of my torso.
What the heck? Yeah, so the Admech were quarantined
on Mars during the... the warp storms that happened
during the post age of strife. And so humans
were kind of squabbling on, on earth, techno
barbarians and all that jive. And then they were
like, Oh, what about those weirdos on Mars? And
then they just, this warp subsided and they went
to sail and there were these weird guys like,
hello, I've merged with my fridge. And you're
like, Oh, have you now? Right. And so, But if
you remember the age of the Unification Wars,
the Emperor made these guys called Thunder Warriors,
which were like the proto -space marines. And
although they had power armor, they weren't space
-worthy. You couldn't bring these guys to the
vacuum of space to fight. You couldn't bring
them to a poison planet or something similar.
So he needed some guys who would help make their
armor a bit more substantial. And so he started
to make the first model of... Space Marine armor,
which is the Mark II Crusader. And it's the beginning
of a very long love affair with fans of Warhammer
and the many, many, many, many versions of Space
Marine armor, which is the most iconic system
-selling part of Warhammer, which is men in bulky
suits of armor have so many fun helmets, pauldrons,
customization fun times. The adepts of Mars are
very good at creating this stuff and maintaining
this stuff, but they're not exactly robust when
in a fight. You know, tech marines are these
kind of glass cannons, even though the Skitarii
are a thing, the kind of the tech guard. I love
the Skitarii. Yeah, they're cool. But they're
like, you've got like hundreds of thousands of
space marines going to the front lines across
the galaxy. You kind of need someone else to
be a frontline version of a tech priest. And
thus they said, okay, how about. We trained some
of your space Marines to become a new class called
the tech Marines. Do we fellas have any idea
why they're called tech Marines? Because they
work with the technology. If I, if I had to make
a guess. Bingo. Exactly. It's a very, very inventive
name. And these guys are not just, you know,
expected to fight like other space Marines, but
they're also. The guys who are going to do field
repairs, they're going to, you know, if your
equivalent of the AA is needed, if your tank
breaks down on the highway and you need someone
to get out and give it a push or figure out what's
going on with the tires, you call these guys
in. They also preserve the gene seed banks. They
maintain all the machine spirits of all the weaponry.
They also can do stuff like this where you can
like, oh, here's this thing in the field that
I haven't got any. I know what this is, but it's
not my stuff, but I'll use it to our advantage.
And so these guys are extremely important for
every Space Marine chapter, Legion, Traitor,
or Loyalist alike. You can't run a chapter about
a Tech Marine. They are the dog's bodies of the
chapter. What? You never heard that term? The
dog's body? I have not. It's a bit British, I
suppose. It's like the idea of the guy who kind
of does all the work and doesn't really get much
credit. Credit for it. Yeah. Well, no, it's like,
I'll go into it, but like, yeah, dog's voice
is kind of like a way of just being like, yeah,
they do all this work and they're a bit underappreciated
in that regard. And to, to make a tech Marine,
these guys spend 30 years on Mars training to
become a space Marine tech Marine. And. you know
that's three decades i've not spent three decades
doing anything in my life because i'm in my 30s
um you guys haven't even lived 30 years so it's
a long time uh these youngins dressed as the
legend of zelda um yeah and um they're they're
they're not as good as a magos or a high -ranking
tech priest in terms of like how good they are
with technologies but they're a damn slight better
than anyone else in the room, especially when
it's concerning Space Marines. And these guys
are expected to do everything from, you know,
repairing a tank to, oh, one of the engines blown
out on the battle barge. Can you go outside into
space and kind of like mag lock your boots to
the back and see what's going on with the gubbins?
Like, okay, these guys do everything. After 30
years training with a bunch of gribbly -wibblies
on Mars, they're not really treated the same
as they were when they left. And it's not the
same thing as librarians where many chapters
don't let people use librarians in their fold.
Some chapters also disdain the useful evil of
a librarian. But tech marines are just kind of
weird. There you go. And Tet Marines are these
other weird... How would you describe them? You
know that kid at school? The kid who likes wars
a lot and will tell you about all the tanks that
they used at the specific battles and planes.
You know the difference of the Bradley versus
the Sherman in terms of the length of their tire
treads. Or the trains kid, something like that.
What are we talking about now? I'm not saying
there's anything wrong with being the trains
or the World War kid. Just saying it's an equivalent.
Mm -hmm. I thought at first Colin was like, I
was a trained kid. Like, oh, leave Colin alone.
I was quiet about it, but I did like my trains.
Choo -choo. And yeah, these guys are very important,
but they also have some weird affiliations with
the tech priests because space marines, even
in current day, are anywhere from... I'm a zealot
who believes the emperor is a god to the emperor
is not a god, but he's also the guy I love the
most in the whole wide world or whole wide galaxy.
Tech Marines are strange because they are half
in that camp and half in Praise the Omnissiah.
And so they know these hymnals. They have rites
of activation. They carry incense with them,
and they try to placate the machine spirits of
everything from your gun to your tank. to your
spacecraft, to your fridge. It's like these guys
are strange. And so they're kind of quasi -religious
in the way they act. And as such, they're tolerated,
but they are totally other than other space marines.
And so no matter how much prestige, how much
respect a tech marine gathers in their career,
they'll never rise beyond the stature of like...
The useful guy who will never be given command
of entire campaigns, with very few exceptions,
with things like the Iron Hands. These guys are
respected, but they aren't cherished the same
way that a normal battle brother is, which is
a bit sad. To give you an idea of how strange
these guys are, the guy I'm playing as right
now, he's got the red armor and just the one
pauldron, which is in their chapter colors. generally
speaking if a tech marine tried to paint any
more of his armor and his chapters colors than
just the one pauldron the machine spirit will
probably rebel and it won't work no more because
you know you're you're basically an envoy a uh
an ambassador of the omnisire and so you've got
to wear the right color scheme in the eyes of
of the of the red planet and so In that same
regard, they treat anything which is like laziness
with regards to things like machinery as blasphemy.
So if you were waking up one day and it's like
you haven't cleaned the oven, they're like, blasphemy.
Oh, I didn't check the oil in the car. Blasphemy.
I didn't check the toner in my printer. Blasphemy.
You've got to always keep an eye on the stuff
you work because at the end of the day, if you
don't, your guns will jam. your tank won't move,
and your, I don't know, your box cooler won't
chill no beers no more. So you've got to respect
the machine spirit. And for the most part, tech
marines have a very solitary life because no
one in their chapter, other than their fellow
tech marines, really treat them as equals, really
treat them... as true brothers they're these
weirdos who tend to stay in their workshops tinkering
away on things kind of like warhammer fans who
just they see in their room in the dark making
miniatures painting pieces gluing things together
and everyone's like are you gonna go play football
he's like no actually i'd rather do this i like
yeah we're we're all tech marines real darkness
yes and um what's i find interesting about tech
marines is their depictions in the law you get
one like um the guy in the black templars in
hell's reach um gerizion he's very kind of dull
and troll and it's all you know grammatis is
like can you You activate this machine. And he's
like, I've never seen something this big before.
If I were to try and reactivate it, it would
take days and days. It would be like mapping
every atom in the star. I'm going to go on and
on and on. And to the point where Grimaldus many
times like, Gerizion, can you do it? Stop going
on and on and on. Get to the bloody point. But
then another Tetmarine in the Angels of Death
series, is it Hadriel? who's a Blood Angels guy,
is actually quite beloved by his brothers. And
he's very chipper. And he's all like, oh, hello,
brother. I've just been looking after the gene
seed vault. It's me, Hadriel. I'm cool. Favorite
character in the whole show. And so there's not
really like an imprint of like what a tech marine
is in that regard with their personality. One
book that is quite interesting is Voice of Mars,
I believe it is, where Cardan Stronos, who's
the... the future chapter master of war leader
of the iron hands is training with a bunch of
other tech Marines. Like there's one from the
black Templars ones from, I think the sons of
Dawn. There's like, there's like a few of them
from different chapters. I think there's also
a, a channel guard. It might be a channel gut,
but there's like a blood rate, a blood angel
successor guy. And there's like a bunch of tech
Marines and none of them are like, they don't
have anything in common other than the fact that
they are all tech Marines. And therefore it's
like outcast stick together sort of thing. But.
Go for it. This is unrelated. This is the best
footage that we've ever had during a stream.
It's more than 5 FPS. Did you upgrade your internet?
Or is how not being here making the quality substantially
better? How does it drain on our resources? I
don't know. We're not saying anything. The footage
is speaking for itself. Okay. Well, again, I
think I have a substantial... I have a theory.
We're talking about the OmniSci's finest. Therefore,
we have placated the machine spirit of the streaming
software. Therefore, it's like, oh, it's my time
to shine, baby. Look at me. It's about Tet Marines.
Woo! Yes, blame Hal for everything. Hal is visiting
family right now. Like a good person. Like a
good boy. And yeah, so like these Tet Marines
are on Mars and they're all training together.
And it is also worth mentioning that like the
Iron Hands and a couple of other chapters have
a special place for the Tet Priests of Mars.
Like Steel Brethren, Iron Hands, Sons of Medusa,
any Iron Hand successor are like treated with
extra like... kindness by the we're not kindness
they're given more tools in the toolbox like
cardans on this planet with these other tech
marines and one of the tech priests is like hey
by the way i'm gonna do some weird shit come
with me it's like you get special treatment i'm
gonna like do surgery on your brain and give
you like all these enhancements on you like on
your tissue okay um i mentioned it before but
there's like a cool bit where he's on the operating
table someone kills the magos he gets up with
his head his brain exposed and he just kind of
like kills the guy of his hand then just puts
the top of his skull back and just goes staple
and staples his skull cap back on and it's like
oh Yeah, he doesn't mess around, does he? But
when Fabius Bile does it, it's a big deal. Yeah,
I know I like Fabius Bile. Fabius Bile more like...
You know, there's like not consent involved in
that one. Yeah. Poopius smile. And yeah, so...
What's worth remembering is that as soon as they
get back from Mars, they are completely treated
differently for the rest of their life. And it's
very rare that a tech marine after their training
will ever see another tech marine again, because
it's like, where are you going to see a tech
marine? You're not going to see them in your
starship. And let's be honest, you're going to
be working overtime every day to make sure that
everything's running. And even on joint campaigns,
are you going to go in the field? Probably not.
because you have to look after the oh the sewage
system's broken on the ship oh and there's a
malfunction with brother brother tedium's bolter
it's not what it's not shooting properly or oh
there's that rhino that um brother eli took into
the field and broke and now you've got to fix
it like oh okay like the list of things for a
tech marine to do is so ridiculously long that
they never have time to do anything And they
probably don't even sleep that much because they
probably have, like, upgrades in their brain
so they don't need to sleep much. And space marines
don't even need to sleep much anyway, so they're
probably always working all the time. It's very
tedious. Yeah, they're the machine guys, but,
like, the only ones. Yeah, and they're like,
what if we put the mechanic in the basement?
Yeah, I want my car fixed. Yeah, let's put him
in, like, a dank... Back in the goon cave with
you, tech marine. Here's some magazines. Enjoy
yourself. These aren't magazines. These are technical
documents on how to repair your car. That's mean.
And the only real progression for a tech marine
is there's tech marines and there's masters of
the forge. Unlike librarians, there aren't like,
as far as I'm aware, intermediaries. It's just
like you're a tech marine or you're a master
of the forge. And there's only one of those per
chapter. And masters of the forge are important.
They are one of the most senior positions in
a chapter. But other than the Iron Hands, none
of them will ever become like a chapter master.
And they'll never be treated with the same respect
as a captain or even like, I suppose, a librarian
with the mistrust they have. They're really useful
at seeing future problems. Apothecaries are literally
responsible for the safeguarding of the chapter's
bloodline and future survival. tech marines are
important but they're never going to be as respected
as apothecaries in that regard um and they're
even precluded from from attending certain religious
ceremonies and event days so like if it's the
day of emperor's ascension tech marines are not
invited because it's like you kind of praise
the omnisire a bit you didn't get to come to
my birthday party oh that's the shit i thought
we were friends like we are friends but you're
also like you're half in with like the machine
god i don't really like i don't want to have
like a machine god fella at my birthday it's
like oh okay um there is a like the the symbol
of the mechanicus the uh machina opus this is
the the cog with the skull that's their like
mark of office once they get promoted to a full
tech marine and they leave mars or whatever forge
world they're trained on And they have to keep
this symbol pristine because if it gets spattered
with oil or blood or viscera or poop or whatever
it is that in day -to -day it gets smothered
with, if that starts to get a bit too hard to
see, oh, your machine spirit's going to get angry.
And it's such an important symbol for a tech
marine. If you show it off at a forge world,
whether it's Mars or anywhere in the galaxy,
you have free reign to go wherever you like because
you're a tech marine. It's like, we trust you.
You're one of ours. You get to have free reign
on our docks, our weapons, foundries, administration.
Whatever you need, you got it. You can go anywhere
you like. So there is a little bit of camaraderie
in that regard. But the fact remains that no
chapter can survive without a tech marine. A
tech marine has to always be present in any chapter.
And they're so valuable to the function of the
chapter that often they don't even have frontline
duties unless... absolutely necessary because
again they are always working on stuff because
things always break and this is the age of this
is the series where it's like there is no innovation
it's complete decay and erosion so you can imagine
how busy a tech marine gets in all this um and
before we go any further shall we do a few donations
yeah we think so all right so starting us off
we've got donkey man And USA for five stream
late due because I'm gooning to the unhinged
how super cut part one available to law crimes
channel members in the discord. Is that really?
Holy cow. It's over an hour long and I've started
watching it and there's a lot of it. So let's
put that there. Um, big, big news, big news.
Join, uh, become a member and, uh, tell me or
a DJ beast that you're a member. And I'll, I'll
add the role for you on the discord. I think
this one's yours, Eli. Eli, I will wear the green
hat 27th of February. Thank you for the two.
Today is the day. Today is the day. Except Hal
has betrayed the cause. He better send a picture
wearing a green hat. And another two, thank you.
You know the rules of not wearing on time, Hal.
He'll have to pay penance next week. We've got
two from Nomius Chomsky. First one says, Hey
guys, how y 'all doing? Glad to hear that you're
all... Talking about my little tech boys. Question
for you all. If you were to become Tech Marine,
which cybernetics would you get on yourself?
I'd just get as many servo arms as possible so
I could just pick things up and throw them at
people. Just chuck them around. Just be a nuisance.
What about you, Eli? I think I'd also prefer
the outside cybernetics. I wouldn't actually
want to... muddle my flesh with such things but
i would i would like to have a army of servitors
how about that to uh shamble around and shoot
people and build things for me how would you
name them would you give them names i'm not sure
i'd probably get sentimental then i get sad when
they all die know me skin things too we got prison
how before gta6 yeah i'm into my how cosplay
uh joshua kevin very for five khan on trend versus
the custodians who you who you got and why i
think khan khan corn plot a handful so he's killed
custodians before he's done it custodians are
only as strong as the author feels like making
them at the time so khan could kill a thousand
custodians if if uh if you really if he was in
the right book fanciful prodigy thing for the
five dollar between tech marines and librarians
what are lord crime's favorite schizo marines
uh i do like the chapter they're all pretty they're
both pretty cool i like chaplains a lot i think
chaplains are my if chaplains count that then
i'd say chaplains otherwise tech marine sometimes
but i like the unique librarians like the cool
Like the guys in the Mantis Warriors and a lot
of random successor chapters have cool, unique,
edgy librarians that I like. Like Ezekiel from
the Dark Angels as well. He's like, I was founded.
Sell. He's the coolest looking dude. His model
is cool too. I love you, Ezekiel. Yeah. But thank
you all for your donations. Thank you very much.
So basically every Tet Marine has a... servo
harness on their backs and they can be fitted
with all sorts of stuff so you get servo arms
mechadendrites you get like blow the equivalent
of blow torches guns all sorts and um tech marines
love nothing much more than finding exotic and
strange technologies sometimes verging on the
heretical and they like to if not use them understand
them because They are not so hung up on the Mechanicum's
ideals of we've got to not innovate at all. We've
got to be careful of how we use technology. They're
a bit more... Again, because they're not treated
as true tech priests. They're a bit like, I'm
just going to do some weird shit occasionally.
you'd be very hard pressed to find a tech Marine
that's got anything simple in their arsenal.
So if you gave a tech Marine a bolter, it's not
just going to be like bog standard straight off
the sprue. It's just a bolter in it. It's like,
no, it's going to have like a banana clip. It's
going to have an optic lens. It's going to have
a combine attachment, grenade launcher. It's
going to have like all the, all these little
weird gubbins clicked onto it. to the point where
even the one I'm playing is right now. The most
simple thing on him is the bolter that's attached
to his backpack that he's not even shooting himself.
That's just the extra little icing on the cake.
Are they playable in PvP? Yes, they are a class
you can play on PvP. I believe you can get a
Warpsmith version for the Chaos Army, which is
cool. But I haven't tried them in the multiplayer
yet because I was having too much fun in the
PvE. um and as you can tell i wasn't playing
with anyone because i knew i wasn't going to
get any matches because everyone would want to
level up this class now so there's no point um
and yeah the the tech marines never really wear
gaudy finery they're not too bothered about look
at this gold sparkly laurel wreath or this this
tabard with like my greatest exploits etched
on the the front in silk and here's a you know
letter from from from my dad like you're such
a good boy like no they're not too bothered about
that they're very practical they're very like
oh i just want to put as much like effective
tools on my on my stuff as i can and usually
they have to be quite um creative with how their
their power supplies which are the back the backpack
space marine uses uses like That runs a normal
piece of armor. Strapping all this extra stuff
to it, you're going to have to find somewhere
to get all this extra juice from. Where are you
getting that power from? It's the same backpack
as everyone else, so they have to start recalibrating
things and carrying the one. Let's stick some
Xenos tech on this. Why not see what we can do
to make it go a little bit faster, a little bit
smarter. And thanks to the Primaris as well,
that's also become a little bit easier because...
new armor marks means more efficient you're not
using the same the same 10 000 year old piece
of armor from the great crusade or whenever it
was built that's got like all these like seal
marks of like this is when i welded this bit
shut and this is where i put this patch on this
patch and this right yeah this is where i super
glued that on this bit so they're reading pretty
good these days with the the post indomitas crusade
um They're also the guys responsible for replacing
lost limbs. So if your arm gets cut off by a
Necron, you're going to go first to the apothecary,
and then the apothecary is going to call in Tim
the techie. Like, Tim, I'm going to need one
of your cybernetics for this guy. Like, okay.
And they, as such, work very closely with the
apothecaries because not only are they responsible
for replacing limbs, but they also protect the
gene seed vaults. So you've got to be very...
but put it this way if you had like a chapter
that lost their tech marine but had their apothecary
yes you could retrieve the gene seed but if the
cooler you're supposed to put it in isn't working
properly it's not going to last long before it
perishes so it's like okay you got to kind of
work in tandem and they often carry the equivalent
of like a workshop on their backs because you
never know in a boarding action of a space hulk
if you're going to find a collapsed tunnel or
maybe there's like um an example i've heard of
once where these space marines that are in a
rhino tank it gets like hit by a rocket tech
marine gets out grabs it with his servo arm and
just like lifts it up from the bottom and starts
welding like the the treads back together and
all the guards when they're like it's pretty
cool holding a tank up like it's nothing and
again they also have like these uh fiseline torches
and plasma cutters, which are capable of cutting
through Terminator armor if needs be. If you
have one of your mates in your chapter, he's
for a Genestealer patriarch, let's say. He's
a bit of a crumpled mess, or folded in on himself.
Are you going to get the Genestealer? Apothecary's
like, can't get in. It's too much crap in the
way. Remove all the crap, get in there, get the
holy globules out. and um tech marines are also
very capable pilots and vehicle you know drivers
because they can interface directly with technology
uh the only drawback of this is like oh why don't
we see like tech marines in like the front lines
all the time driving thunderhawks and stuff it's
like well they've kind of also got to look after
your ship and the gene seed was and they've got
to re -stitch um timmy's britches on his uh his
mark 10 terminus pattern armor and he's also
got to attend to the rhino that's broken in the
vehicle pool and also brother brother collins
bolter isn't quite working properly and this
and that and so they they can't be just willy
-nilly put in the front lines because it's like
they've got too much to do as it is so give it
to another space marine because if he gets shot
down and dies oh well at least it's not a tech
marine because then who's gonna fix you know
the the the bathroom which recently has had a
water main pipe burst um shout out to my brief
leave of absence where if your lore crimes bingo
card is missing this spot you can slot in colin
had to go very abruptly Look, I don't enjoy running
to do it, but I have a very firm stance. It is
much better to be late or temporarily absent
than have shit in your pants. That's a good saying
to live by. Is this more chili cheese dog or
other... No, this was jewel chicken wings, but
they're so good. They're so good, I'll take the
risk. And yeah, bear in mind, like... uh tech
marines are pretty good fighters as well they're
not like duelists per se but i mean you want
to fight a space marine with a space marine fair
enough but if the if the space marine you're
fighting has two extra arms that's a bit more
of a case yeah like oh i could just grab you
with my servo harness and then just stab you
in the face like oh that's that's not fair like
grab one hand harder to deal with that asshole
Yeah, like, oh, I'm good at dueling, but his
spiceline torch has just cut my head off independently
from the fight. Oh, that's not fair. They're
actually a bit more graceful than you might expect
for these, like, heavily armored, like, these
walking tanks. Again, like, the Angels of Death
animation has Hadriel with, like, a one -handed
axe, and he's spinning around, and he's pirouetting,
and he's like, ooh, look at me, ooh. because
again these guys are weirdos and you don't expect
them to do stuff like that but they do because
why not they also have like the as you see in
the gameplay the kind of glaives which are the
two handed ones and I do like in the gameplay
for SM2 now you can just like charge with the
glaive now and just spear poke people with it
and I'm like that's really cool I love big sword
and there's like a move where if you jump You
can then press the melee and you do this spinning
attack. I'm like, ah, there's that gracefulness
coming in again where you wouldn't expect it.
Welcome back, Demoman from TF2. Yeah, we like
TF2. Scottish Cyclops. They got more of me than
they got the likes of me. And yeah, like even
if a Tet Marine isn't in melee range, they're
also a bit of a bugger at range because again,
they can strap extra guns on top of their guns.
So they're like, not only do I have probably
the best guns in the armory, but also I can strap
a gun to my backpack, which will shoot you independently
of where I'm looking because it's kind of integrated
to the sensors in my suit. Like, yeah, these
guys are crazy. They can do all sorts. What they
lack in terms of like a librarian is cool because
they can be like. I'm going to manipulate your
mind or summon a warp rift, a tech marine to
say, haha, heavy bolter go brr, heavy bolter
go brr. I have every gun. Yes. It's basically
that scene in The Matrix, you know, lots of guns.
I mean, you know, to be fair, like, you know,
in Warhammer, it's kind of like Star Wars, you
know, where the highest tier wizards, like, you
know, a gun usually doesn't work on them, but
even just one step below, If you have enough
gun, it's probably going to work. Magnus? Yeah,
you need more than gun. Aramon? Enough gun will
do the job. True. The Master of the Forge on
the tabletop, I don't think they exist anymore,
but they had the conversion beamer, which was
like a crazy weapon that got stronger the farther
range you were at. Yeah. There's some fun stuff
with them and their unique gubbins. um i feel
like even just like the mechid androids that
snake out of their backs would be enough to be
like oh i'm fighting you and it would just strangle
someone trying to hit them in the back with like
a knife or something um and because they are
they are tech marines they are always communicating
with machine spirits uh the better they are at
that the more senior they are usually the less
of a fight they put up when they don't want to
do something they don't want to do Again, I like
in Angels of Death, Hadriel's trying to get this
part of the ship to close one of its docking
ramps, I think. And he's just resourced to like,
you will do as I say! Hitting the thing. And
he does the classic cliche of just smack the
console and then it goes, command accepted. Yeah,
sometimes it's got to oi machine, do it. Do the
thing. And masters of the forge are so good at
this, they barely break a sweat. Sometimes not
even talking in like... verbal cues they're like
sending binaric commands to their machines talking
in binary like zero one one zero zero zero zero
like oh okay i'll do i'll do just that um and
masters of the forge are so good at making stuff
occasionally they make brand new like patterns
of armored vehicle but that's pretty rare simply
because they have no free time they have so much
work to do Have you seen how many of the speed
bikes have been broken in the last battle? We
need to completely replace the drive shank. Oh,
no. There's all these things I have to do. They're
almost allowed to make new things on a technicality.
I forgot about that. Yeah. They're like, I wish
I had a vocation where I could actually have
a weekend off. It's like, nope. You have one
hour of sleep a day. Enjoy it every other day.
Every other hour of the day you are working because,
again, you are the dog's body of the chapter.
They're also responsible for safeguarding the
relics of the chapter in these big vaults. And
the way that they treat their faith in the Omnissiah
and the tenets of the Omnissiah is comparison
-wise similar to the Ultramarines and the Codex
Astartes, which we all know they love the Gilly
Book. By the same token, the Tet Marines are
just as vehement in their faith of the Omni -Sci.
Even if they're not, like, overtly zealous, I
suppose, they will nonetheless be, like, the
literal definition of by the book. You do it
this way because it's in the manual. It's these
guys, you know. I'd say that one's a little more
forgivable because, look, military tactics, that
can be a fluid thing. What works on one guy won't
work on another. There's only so many ways to
wire up your house that won't cause an electrical
fire. That one, it's good to follow the book.
I'm going to put my word on that one. I don't
want an artist hooking up my stove. Thank you
very much. Yeah. I don't know. Would you ever
accept a tech marine coming into your house to
fix your boiler or something like that? How would
you feel about that? Yeah. Wouldn't be worried
about what they walk into your carpet. Oh, you've
got oil on the carpet, mate. They certainly look
the part. I mean, look, I would hopefully try
and convince them, like, you know, take as little
of the armor into my house as you need. I'm not
sure if my floorboards are rated for, you know,
power armor. But, like, you know, for their expertise,
yeah, come on in. I'm sure they can make some
stuff a little more efficient. Who do you reckon
is heavier, a Master Chief or a Tech Marine?
Just a lot of armor he's wearing. Probably the
Tech Marine, just because the Tech Marine has
extra bits on top. I think they're roughly the
same weight. I think they're like Marines and
Spartans. I feel like I've read Space Marines
are also roughly 1 ,000 pounds. That's an easy
baseline to just put on a piece of paper as an
author. 1 ,000. If you add all the gubbins, it's
like, well, that's... Now we're getting heavier.
And other than that, it's then a case of just
talking about some of the unique types of deck
marines and a little bit more of some of their
little unique traits. Should we do a couple more
donations while we can? Yeah, that'd be good.
Let's see. Starting us off. Do you want to read
this one, Colin, as you were absent before? Oh,
and it's for me. ArtZ3I8U, thank you for the
five euros. A question for Colin. Do you think
that Karl Franz and Gillum will get along? I
personally think that they would. I think that
that entirely depends on is Gillum enforcing
the issue of the Imperium onto Karl Franz. I
think in a vacuum, they'd probably be pretty
chill. You know, they're both the reasonable
leader guy. What about the elect accounts and
Gilliman? Would they get along? I think that
they would make Carl Franz and Gilliman get along
because of how fucking insufferable they are.
You know, it'd be the same for like, I don't
know, the High Lords of Terra. They'd also make
the two get along better because, God, you wish
you could just beat them to death, but you usually
can't do that. Do you want to read this one?
Sure. Another five euros. Thank you, Sir Chomsky.
Small question for you all. Did the Moirai Schism
of Mars affect the recruitment teachings for
the Tech Marines? Also imagining White Scar Tech
Marine is fun. I believe I can actually answer
this one for once because I vaguely talked about
this. I don't believe it affected recruitment
because that's the kind of like... Whatever side
of beliefs you fall on, you need them either
way. And from my understanding, that was largely
limited to in terms of affecting the internals
of a chapter. That was mostly limited to the
Iron Hands, because they're the tech chapter.
It definitely would have affected their teachings,
though. And I believe, was it the Sons of Medusa
that was the exiled chapter after the Moirai
Schism? Yeah, they were the ones who went a bit...
great well not great the zap marines are like
ah heretic right no no i'm a good boy which is
funny enough the iron hands like that was a pretty
peaceful resolution because they just like okay
if you believe this wacky nonsense you go over
there and that was kind of the end of the matter
for the iron hands and then the mechanic has
got 1000 year long civil war So it absolutely
did affect teachings. It's just for, it presumably
would have affected other chapters, but the other
chapters, they already view the tech Marines
as a little bit weird for being all, you know,
into the tech stuff. So I don't think they would
have much cared what they were saying differently.
They were just, you know. That's cool, Steve.
Please go work on the Land Raider again. Whereas
the Iron Hands, yes, there was some subschisming.
It's peaceful for once for the Iron Hands, but
there was some problems for them. Yeah, and then
there was the recent findings of the original
Steel Brethren pamphlet, which has now been confirmed
about their stuff, which is cool. Steel Confessors.
I just told you. All of the Moirai schism lore
there is. Yep. Enjoy. We got one from Spooky
Kabuki if you want to do that real quick. Thank
you, Spooky Kabuki, the goat. Sigma event tomorrow,
right when the WoW expat drops. Cheers. Shout
out to you, brave soldier, still playing World
of Warcraft. I know a guy who still does. I don't
get it. I guess, to be fair, I also just don't
like MMOs. I even tried... There's fan servers
for that old Warhammer Fantasy MMO. I even tried...
The keys jangling, they're just for me. These
are the keys designed to make me happy. Couldn't
do it. I just don't like MMOs. I like MMOs. I
don't have time to play them anymore. And also,
I don't like the WoW gameplay of mashing one
over and over and over again. I much prefer mashing
my mouse button. I don't know why it's different,
but it is. Play EVE Online. Play EVE Online.
It's probably similar to DDO. No, no, no. It's
a job. Oh, it's a space game. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
I need Spooky Kabuki to coach me in Warhammer
before I go on my trip. We need to play in more
Warhammer. We need to play in more Almore. I
was building terrain yesterday with Alex, and
I was like, oh, this is very tedious components.
Like, here's this tiny bit of a wall. Put this
on this other bit of a wall. Okay. This guy hates
Lego. No, but I was like, I'll pick this box
because it's the smallest. Therefore, the construction
should be the easiest. Then there's me with the
most difficult stuff to construct. It was a pain.
but getting back to it uh so there are there's
there's not all that much left to talk about
tech marines because they are like very concise
very like not simple but like there's only so
much you can talk about a tech marine when their
whole gimmick is like oh they're they're the
mechanics of the tech of the space marines they
fix that a ting they fix the ting um And unfortunately,
I can't think of any particularly notable books
where they're the focus. You've got the Iron
Hands books with David Geimer and the Iron Hands
book called Iron Hands about an Iron Hand chaplain.
And in that one, he's called a chaplain. And
I think it was before they combined chaplain
and Tet Marine into an Iron Father specifically.
So it's like an old book. But, you know, it would
be nice if we saw like a tech marine centric
book in modern 40K books. We'll have to wait
and see. But until then, I can tell you about
some weirdy, even weirder tech marines that are
unique to certain chapters. We do like weirdies.
Yeah. Well, first amongst them is Grey Knight's
tech marines. Grey Knights got to have a tech
marine just like everyone else. These guys just
wear silver armor like everyone else. And remember,
they're also psychers. So a psycher tech marine
is pretty nuts. You got the best of both worlds.
Gun and magic gun. Gun, magic gun, gun. To be
a tech marine for the Grey Knights means you
have to be a particularly skilled one. If a Grey
Knight recruitment is one in a billion or whatever
it is, then a tech marine... Grey Knight is probably
1 in 10 billion. Yeah, because it's like you've
got to be good at tech as well. You've got to
be able to reset the Wi -Fi occasionally. And
magic? That was tricky. But they don't use any
red armor. They just use the silver like everyone
else. And yeah, again, there's very little about
them. We just know that they exist. Cool. briefly
pointed on it before that um iron hands are probably
the most notable uh tech marine enjoyers in the
setting because they are the the what's the word
like um love technology tech technophiles they're
technophiles they are like the technophile chapter
slash legion and they combine their chaplains
and tech marines into iron fathers who run the
council of iron which is a an electoral body
of like the most big bollocks, most respected
iron hands there is in the chapter. Ooh, dog.
And the weird gimmick about them is they don't
have a chapter master exactly. They have a war
leader. And so after every single campaign, they
all convene and they reelect or elect a new war
leader. So Cardan Stronos, who's the main guy
in charge, has been reelected for the last 200
years without stop. So he's got a pretty good
track record. And yeah, they're, they're, they're
probably like whenever people think of like tech
Marines, they think of iron hands because again,
they get special treatment from the, the adepts
of Mars. They already love technology as it is.
They venerate dreadnoughts. It's like the, the
pinnacle of where someone can be. So a lot of
iron fathers, which are therefore tech Marines
also become tech Marine dreadnoughts. And there's
also a fun dreadnought in. the Uriel Ventress
books, who's an ultramarine techmarine, and he
does get turned into a dreadnought, and he has
a massive hammer on his arm, and he has, like,
a big forge bespoke made for him so he can continue
making stuff as a dreadnought. I'm like, oh,
look, it was, like, little... I say little. Just
say... Does he have, like, little, like, uh...
like hammers that he just has to be really careful
or is he just making like land raiders and stuff
exclusively well i know he makes the um because
you know uh pisanius is the one who gets the
necrodermic arm and then honsu cuts off the arm
takes it for himself uh this tech marine is the
guy who makes the the replacement for pisanius
and um he's like he's like i better not tell
the tech marine that i've been like making little
etchings and stuff inside of it because he'll
be really pissed off if i've like besmirched
his craftsmanship with things for me to like
remember as penance like yeah don't don't let
him know that you've been tinkering with his
stuff i guess i guess he can't even for being
a drum nut though i guess he can make small stuff
then i mean at least as small as like an arm
which yeah you know finger digits and stuff you
know you wouldn't think that's too small but
if you're this if you're the size of a a truck
that's pretty that's pretty precise such as so
i have a suspicion that he wouldn't last very
long in the setting because there's that whole
thing of the longer that a dreadnought is awake
the more crazy they get so i'm like surely with
the workload of a tech marine maybe it's like
a cancelling out thing where the monotony of
what he has to do day to day keeps him going,
or maybe he's burning the candle at both ends
and he won't be around much longer. I don't know
how dreadnoughts, when the tech marines work,
you'd have to ask a dreadnought, but I'd assume
it would be either a boon or a bust. I'm not
sure exactly which. It either keeps him so focused
or he's made the thousandth mechadendroid of
the day and he's about to go mad. Yeah. Brother
Harkus, that's his name. Well done, Patrick,
in the chat. and um yeah you mentioned them before
colin there are the sons of medusa they have
a unique term for their tech marines which they
call forge rights and they form the chamber ferrum
which is their own bespoke like i guess equivalent
of like derivative of the iron council because
bear in mind the sons of medusa were iron hands
who defected to the moray moray creed moray creed
So they were originally Ironhands and then that's
the Ironhands chapter, not Legion. And then they
went, we believe actually in this stuff, split
off, did their own thing. They also have a unique
thing as a chapter where they have three clans.
Whereas, you know, Ironhands have 10 for 10 companies.
Sons of Medusa have three and their logo color
scheme changes on. I think it's white on black,
silver on black and silver and white or something
like that. But there's three different color
schemes depending on which clan they're in. And
yeah, that's like a fun little thing. I can't
wait for Astartes 2. I want to see them in the
tonk going kaboom. Because when did that come
out? Three years ago? Oh God, admit it. It's
been a minute. Astartes 2 will come out when
the Warhammer TV show comes out. Never. Yeah.
We'll see. Oh, and here's I know this is you
two guys. This is your favorite chapter. Let's
talk about space wolves. I love space wolves.
I love them. I love space wolves. So the space
wolves, because of course they do, don't use
tech marines in the established sense. They have
iron priests instead. And they do send them to
Mars, but they also, before they send them to
Mars, go on pilgrimages to find the gods of iron
of Fenris, which live beneath the boiling sea
near the Isles of Iron, where the iron wolf is
said to sleep below the depths. You made it this
far. Made it this far. He's not going to say
the word wolf. There it is. It's still cool.
It's still cool. the collins broke his camera
frustration i'm angry i love you space wolves
um and yeah these guys are very much like ah
we'll we'll learn the ways of the data to mars
but no it's not real tech marine we we learn
from vendors vendors is where we learn how to
be a tech marine properly not real not real psychers
we're we're different we have uh And to be fair
to them, they are able to craft unique weapons
called Tempest Hammers and Hellfrost Weaponry.
And there is a particularly dwarf archetype disgruntled
tech marine in the Death Watch called Greybeard,
I believe it is. And he's just like... None of
the other Death Watch members are like, oh, he's
one of those weirdos from... Not just a weirdo
from the Space Wolves, but a tech marine from
them as well. Oh, God. And yet they're also like...
Yeah, but at the same time, they're also like...
I broke my sword could you help me please and
then they get it back and they're like oh this
is actually really like what did you do to this
this is amazing like he knows his stuff somehow
um and yeah they are they are um I I guess the
the silver lining for them as well is that they're
not as outcast as other tech marines because
they are like ah we're sons of Fenris we we adhere
to what everyone adheres to in our chapter so
there's less estrangement and uh yeah iron priests
Star Phantoms, they have a unique branch called
the Brother Adepts, who are their Tet Marines.
Weird name for a Tet Marine. And they love plasma
weapons and combi weapons. That's about all we
know. Emperor's Spears have Druids, not to be
confused with their apothecaries who are called
Druids, not to be confused with their librarians
who are called Druids, or their chaplains who
are called Druids. It's like weird boys. They
really did not try very hard here, did they?
Nope. Nope. And they wear black armor and they
are, quote, wholly teched up. So that's the Empress
Spears tech marines. And as we mentioned very
briefly at the beginning, traitor tech marines
are called Warpsmiths. And these guys are naughty
boys. And they usually... They usually have a
lot of mechadendrites spilling out of their back
like Dr. Octopus. Like, what if we made Dr. Octopus
and Satan have a baby? And yeah, pretty nasty
boys. They tend to have alliances with the Dark
Mechanicum because they like to make demon engines
such as Mauler Fiends, Forge Fiends, and even
Helldrakes and other nasty, big, shiny beast
creatures which are like the infusing of... demons,
and metal. And they just love the game. They're
in for the love of the game. I just want to make
some weird stuff. I just want to make some crazy
things and see what happens. So they're entirely
driven with, let's just put flesh, iron, and
demons together into a baby. And the baby is
Angi. And they like to torture machine spirits
for fun. so that they can submit them to their
will. They're just dicks. Anytime they're in
any of the books I've read, they're just dicks.
Like, what was the one? There was one where there
was a character. I was in the Uftak book, and
the mechanic I'm trying to defend from the orcs,
and there's just, like, orcs within the mix.
It's like, I'm just going to try and summon a
demon and put him in the, like... core of the
forge world for fun like okay you do that why
not um and they're always a bit kind of a machiavellian
and and um waxing lyrical mustache swirling and
they're fun what uh what smiths are fun and they're
pretty cool to look at like these again like
metal guys with lots of extra arms that look
menacing and torture robots for fun and then
make those robots into worse robots like terminators
like cool nice lovely fellas what lovely fellas
um and yeah so to combat against this uh this
is the inherent risk of a tech marine getting
a bit too lost in the source of uh creating stuff
and and innovating oh can't innovate um so they
are kind of held in check by their many uh doctrines
of blasphemy and not not listening to your machine
spirits not You never want to be aggressive and
try to bend a machine spirit to your will. You
want to coax it and convince it and be its friend.
You don't want to let your bolter get grubby.
You want to clean all its parts, disassemble
it, reassemble it. Make sure your arm is clean.
Make sure that everything's tidy and orderly
and where it should be. That's the mantra of
the tech marine. You've heard it in your first
chat. Don't let your bolter get grubby. No, don't
let it get grubby. I don't want to see any muck
in your bolter. Although I do like in Master
of Mankind where it talks about how the Emperor
chose the bolter not because it was the most
effective weapon or sophisticated weapon. This
is just how you can make brutality very simply.
It doesn't fail or jam very often. It's extremely
overpowered. And it's scary. It's easy to mass
produce and it works. Grenade, go in, shoot,
go boom. easy like don't have to have any gauss
weaponry or plasma or it's like no big boom go
that way done cool um and yes and and so the
the same way that a chaplain looks after the
spiritual health of a chapter and the apothecaries
look after the mental uh the physical well -being
the tech greens are like the the orderly like
like make sure everything is tidy and that your
martial abilities aren't going to be impeded
by your own laziness or lack of discipline. And
these guys are also the guys responsible for
telling their chapter master when supplies are
running low. Kalgar. Just to let you know, we
need like 15 ,000 crates of bolters. We need
this much promethium for the flamers. We need
some new tank treads for the rhinos. We need
this. We need that. We need that. Oh, for God's
sake. Oh, my God. The shopping list is ridiculous.
As such, Tech Marines, again, when the chapter
is at full strength, they're very rarely on the
front lines. There's always a reserve of them
on their flagship chapter, like Fortress Monastery,
somewhere in the back rooms, toiling away, fixing
things, modifying things, all that good stuff.
And I cannot stress how much work these guys
have to do, because even though they do have
labor frauds that they usually name like... alpha
beta charlie sigma whatever they gave him like
designations um they can like these guys are
lobotomized they can only do simple tasks tech
marine's gonna do a lot of sophisticated weird
stuff and praying to his to his um his microwave
etc my labor thrall my stupid labor thrall and
um They're also the guys responsible for waking
up dreadnoughts, which is a pain in the ass because
I don't know if you've ever tried to wake up
someone who's been asleep for 100 years. They
don't want to get up. I have difficulty waking
up in the afternoon, let alone the morning. Dreadnoughts
are worse than me. Yeah, that's saying something.
The only other weird gimmick about the tech marines
is that when they get sent to the death watch,
they're not usually sent when they're a senior
tech marine. they're sent when they're kind of
a junior rank a bit of a novice and this is possibly
because as you become a better tech marine you
become more dogmatic and entrenched in the tried
and true and you know this is how things work
therefore that's the only way to do it uh but
also there's an element of probably oh we don't
want the really skilled tech marine of our chapter
going to the death watch where he'll probably
die let's send one of the junior ones instead
so we can uphold our oaths and not lose a valuable
member of the team And also maybe because, you
know, Watch Fortresses, they're going to entice
tech marines with, hey, we've got some weird
alien shit in the back. Really? Okay. Because
they have vaults full of, like, weird Necron
stuff, Eldar stuff. Hey, can you figure out how
this, like, orc, like, slugger works? Oh, I'll
give it a bash. It shouldn't work. It's working.
Figure it out. I don't know. And so some tech
marines revel in the chance to be part of the
Death Watch. They're only sent on kill teams
if there's, like, a particularly impressive,
like, relic that they need to recover without
damaging. So they're like, right, you boys, I'm
going to come with you so you don't break it.
It's just, you know, I know what you're like,
Gunter, with your heavy storm bolter, breaking
all my stuff. I saw what you did to the latrine
the other day. And it's like, yeah, so. You got
to go. You got to go. And yeah, like tech Marines
are, there's not much else to talk about. They're
just like, yeah, they're, they're, they're, they're
on the spectrum of when they're younger, they're
on the spectrum. All right. Oh yeah. Well, they
want to be like, I want to learn about these
cool technologies and I want to broaden my horizons
and innovate. And then it's like, as you get
older, like, no, that's, that's blasphemy. No,
it's I've, I've become, I'm in my conservative
years. Now I'm going to just be like, not having
any of this, none of these liberal ideas. I just
want to. A bolter is a bolter, and it should
be a bolter, as intended by the God Emperor,
said Tech Marine of a thousand years of service.
And with that said, that's pretty much all I've
got on the Tech Marines. Do you guys have anything
else you'd like to add? I've read one Horus Heresy
book like ten years ago where I feel like one
of the main characters was a Tech Marine. Was
that the Raven Guard one? Clayde? Probably. i
don't know they come out of a there's a scene
where they come out of a drop pod and that's
for some reason that's what i'm remembering the
most right now i don't know i know um he's called
the carrion and he's on mars when the heresy
happens and there's also a iron warriors guy
called scaramanca i think it is it's like oh
and then he goes all like gribbly wibbly chaosy
um and yes the carrion is quite interesting but
again it's also like oh you're a raven guard
tech marine That sounds depressing. What if you
were the outcast amongst the biggest outcasts
in all the chapters? Okay, you've got it pretty
rough, dude. Again, Iron Hand's books are good
fun in that regard. There is one in a few of
the Uriel Ventress books. There's one in the
Hell's Reach book, Gerizion. But other than that,
they are usually very, very minor characters
in the setting, like the Dark Angels comics.
There's one who's just like in a few panels and
he basically arrives. Then he detonates a craft
world to destroy some Necrons. And that's all
he does. There goes that guy. He just does that,
does he? He just pulls that one out of his ass.
It's a crash. So it's like a long crashed craft
world. And the Harlequins are like, we're going
to nick all the good stuff before it's like,
we're going to release the Necrons to attack
the Dark Angels. And then I guess that's a little
more forgivable. And then I can just overload
its engines. Yeah. And yeah, there's not all
that much to them. I wish there was more. Occasionally
we get like quite a lot of chaplain focused books.
Like there's the Caridon's one. There's the one
about the flesh terror. There's a bunch of them.
And it's like, I wish there was more with just
a tech Marine as the main character. Cause that'd
be fun. Cause you could explore that solace that,
that kind of. not necessarily mistreatment, but
maybe mistreatment by the rest of his chapter
or just his isolation from them. You can do some
fun stuff with that. But, I don't know. People
don't... They're fun to play as. Fun to play
in space, Marine. I like it. Yeah, fair enough.
Fair enough, Mr. Andy. Cool. I'm glad they're
here. They do need to exist. Just logically.
I like them too. Ain't nothing wrong with a tech,
Marine. well you know what they say it's like
no one thinks about plumbers until they need
one so yeah useful guys you need them they're
very they're a credit to society and marines
are the plumbers of 40k the train guys yeah working
in the trades uh but i said there's um one donation
but for now should we go through um some of our
picks for mini of the week because we do have
some minis that we've taken from When it's cold,
send us your minis. And the first one, I picked
one from Benzel, who did put a whole team of
Death Watch characters, but I thought I'll just
pick the one because this was my favorite. This
guy here is an iron snake, as far as I can tell,
from the pauldron. And I think he looks pretty...
I really like the lightning effect on the sword.
It's a cool power sword right there. The pauldron
for the Death Watch is very clean. It's a very
clean mini. That is very nice. That's very cool.
How do you do those lightning effects? I just
get good. Very carefully is what I assume. With
a lot of practice, I would say. And then the
next one? This one was from Colin. These are
from Green Hat. Green Hat guy. Real nice. Was
there a specific one you enjoyed? Naturally,
the new Phoenix Floor. yeah yeah but of course
but i see i really i picked it one i like the
paint job all of them i like i like paint jobs
that have like that that thank you diabetes he's
dying he's dying uh but they have like that dusty
feel like look to them but they're not dusty
your minis look dusty well no like that's the
paint job that's clearly the white highlight
yeah yeah like the like white like sprinkling
kind of highlight that too i do that They haven't
just been left in a bin for three years. But
I also chose them. Aside from just, I think,
good lord. The machine spirit is angry. I need
a tech marine. But aside from the fact, I like
all of them, especially Lycus. They're done quite
well. I like it because they said that this is
for a Warhammer -themed D &D campaign they're
running. And I really like the absurd increase
in power scaling going on here. I can't help
but feel like there might be a favorite player.
Because, you know, going from right to left,
we have, you know, that just looks like Imperial
guy. Navy guy, yeah. Sisters of Silence, you
know, gal with the flamer chainsword. You know,
her and the chaplain, they're probably, you know,
depending on the circumstance. roughly equal
in power level, and then a Phoenix Lord. I feel
like you might have a favorite player in that
campaign. Maybe they fight the Phoenix Lord.
It could be that. It's just like, oh, I've got
this Commissar, got this Sniper, got this one,
and then there's the Catan Shard. Like, huh?
Okay. It'll be a fun campaign, though. And then
the final one that we picked from Eli. This one
was from Pyro, and of course Eli would pick Lucius
the Eternal. It's a very nice Lucius. I like
his pallid purple flesh. It is a nice Lucius.
It's just a really cool model. I had also picked
Green Hat Guy's Hedonites of Slaanesh thingy
-majigger, but I was told I wasn't allowed to
have the same person twice, so I quite enjoy
this Lucius. I like the chemicals on the back.
They're nice. A nice greenish blue, bluish green,
whatever you want to say. Yeah, it's good. I
do like this miniatures. I guess, is that the
layer blade he's carrying with the cool handle?
Yes, it is. I think that's cool. I like the design
of Lucius with the new style. And the color scheme,
I like the idea of choosing purple, where he's
been throttled by someone else in the Legion
a few times too many. It's getting to my head.
Shout out to Lucius2 for avoiding the Eramin
treatment, and there is a reason to just take
Lucius. And other than that, we've got a... Well,
last time... We had a question of the week. Well,
we didn't have a question of the week. So Colin
had a, would you rather? Yeah, I, it was, look,
we are professional here, but sometimes, you
know, there's, there's a bit of a hiccup. So
I, I just pulled a, a would you rather out of
my ass. And it seems everyone is on rough. Almost
everyone is on roughly the same page. It was,
you know, who, what would you, it was just hashtag
rather. What would you rather be? If I remember
correctly, the three options, I know two of them.
It was a Space Marine fighting a Demon Prince.
I think another one was like an ODST fighting
the Arbiter. And then a Jedi fighting General
Grievous. And we've got one. I'm going to go
with the one angry homunculus who's the standout
going against the flow here. Ultramarine versus
Demon Prince. is what you'd rather be. If I get
a name, I'll be unstoppable. If I get the Demon
Prince's name, they're toast. I'll win either
way. I really like the confidence you have. Yeah,
it's pretty legit. Yeah, I can get the name out
of the Demon Prince before I explode. I could
take him. To be fair, if he's a named character,
he has a fighting chance. Yeah, that's true.
And then the other two are much on the same page.
Keese Peeper. That's a funny name. I'll choose
Jedi. I assume it will be over the fastest and
I don't suffer as much to even get there. Fair
enough. And yeah, Darian Weathington, 1923. I
would rather be a Jedi because at least there
won't be any pain or suffering. Just hello there,
then force ghost and happy. Hello there. Yep.
Well, thank you all for our impromptu would you
rather at the end of last episode. But we do
have a question of the week this week. And this
one is, in the spirit of Tech Marines, if you
had to replace a part of your body with anything
you want, what would it be? Hashtag flesh is
weak. Now, I want to say right now. I can already
tell where at least half of your minds are going.
Get it out of the gutter. I hear one of you like,
I'm going to face my wee -wee with a whisk. I'm
like, oh, well, we already figured that was what
you were going to put. Come on, put some creativity
into it. Have some fun. You cannot stop me. I
cannot, but we will all go, ah, ha, ha, very
funny, and that will be the end of it. All Noel
is getting everywhere. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no. link
is splattering the known oil all over his I when
I painted these when I base coated these guys
in silver uh I got it like I don't know if you
can tell but yeah as you can see this white this
white thing is not so white anymore and there's
no there's silver paint everywhere wow but it's
all over my monitor too I'm not gonna lie wow
you'll have to be peering through all the paint
like what did I put on this word document I can't
read it anymore Anyway, so yeah, that was the
Tech Marines, everyone. I hope you guys enjoyed
it. They're good fun to play in Spice Marine
2. We do have a last donation. We do have a last
couple of donations as well. So the first one
from Tito Xavier, 326 for 10. Thank you. Hail
from Brazil, fellow law criminals. Wanted to
thank Colin for being my fave 40K YouTuber, despite
the HH hate. He loves the Horus heresy, really.
It's his favorite, deep down. I don't seriously
judge anyone for liking the Horus Heresy. And
that is the nicest you will get out of my mouth
on the matter. And he says, thanks for recommending
Infinite and Divine, Glory to Christ, and the
Byzantine Empire. Christ is Lord. Amen, brother.
Eli and Hal will wear a green hat 27th of February.
Thank you. We did. Hal didn't. You must flay
Hal on live TV. Kill him. Kill him. Actually,
the chaplain was the most busted in the campaign.
MF -er could smack half the board as a reaction
smite. Is that implying that the Lycus was actually
one of the characters? Yeah, what did she do
then? What was her job? Are there rules for that?
Yeah, how did you do this? I'm curious. I like
homebrew stuff. It's usually unbalanced as hell,
but that's part of the fun. Well, thank you all
for joining us. Go play Space Marine 2's new
update. It's good fun. And on that, I guess we'll
see you all next time then. We didn't want to
answer the... Oh, did you want to answer the
question? I was just wondering. I feel like we
usually answer our own question of the week.
Go then. Personally, I think the flesh is peak.
And I wouldn't want to replace any part. But
if I had to choose something, I would choose
one metal hand because you still need one another
hand for hand holding. And I don't know. It would
be strong and also good at painting. Maybe it
could be a robot hand that paints for me so then
I don't have to paint this stuff anymore because
I'm bad at painting. I don't know. Or an eyeball.
A robot eyeball. i i briefly said earlier now
if i get the chance i'm going full again there's
two there's ahead of me lies two forks in the
road either i rebecca would you know but me so
like dude i'm blue and like faintly metallic
and the funky eyes or uh adam smasher uh i will
one day show up to a lore crimes episode and
proudly announce to all three of you that well
i will politely ask uh say you look like fuckable
cuts of meat are you i i feel like i'd get a
i'd replace whatever i need to replace in my
brain so i didn't need as much sleep so i could
just do more stuff sleep is a gift andy sleep
is nice yeah but it'd be good if i could like
make that gift a bit brisker it makes me think
it's like the same there was a There was some
post someone made about metal, but there was
an equivalent one for immortality where they're
like, you'll outlive all your friends. You outlive
all your friends anyways. Those who don't mourn,
mourn you. Weak. Weak. Give me your organs. Give
me all the organs. Immortality. You'll see everything
go away. You'd be doing that anyways. Give me
your organs and I will rip mine out. One more
from Eli and Hal will wear a green hat. Thank
you. Null burned half the hive and ripped off
a knight arm. Wow. Impressive. That's pretty
cool. I'm still wondering about this Phoenix
Lord stuff. Or is that Null? Oh yeah, maybe.
I'm looking at the chat. It was Null. Null burned
half the hive and ripped off a knight's arm.
Nice. Pretty crazy. Shout out Null. other than
that I hope you guys all enjoyed this episode
and I guess we'll see you all next time bye everybody
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