Hello, fellas, one and all, and welcome to Lore
Crimes. We're happy to be here again, and just
as a quick reminder at the start, we're changing
the format up a bit. For those of you watching
live, there won't be any major changes, but we're
bringing back the older video style, so if you
just want the content, the lore, and nothing
but, do not worry. That'll be how it is going
forward. If you don't want to watch the... uncut,
full -length live stream. Yeah. If people wanted
to go check out the normal, you guys who like
the donations and all that, the people insulting
our hairlines, our faces, our bloodlines, all
that good stuff, go check out our Discord. It's
linked onto a unlisted stuff on YouTube there.
For all you guys who like to all that live stuff,
it's all there for you guys. Nothing's changed,
but we're going to go straight on. For people
who watch the video stuff, We're going to get
right into it. Before we get right into it, well
done, Colin. I like the new digs. Thank you very
much. Will you describe it for the audio listeners
at least? Yes, of course. For the audio listeners,
see, there was this room in the house. For reasons
I don't know, it's just painted green. And in
an effort to... save money on getting it painted
and also just being lazy. This is the office
now because it's going to be mostly sound pads
and posters. Indeed, I do. I am now an adult.
He owns a home. You could use it as a green screen
wall if you wanted to as well. I could, but there
is the cabinet. Or the closet. Just record on
one side. We'll see how you go. I did say that.
R .I .P. End of an era to the bed. The bed is
now in a different room. It's no longer one combined
space. One last spanner for the bed made. I heard
that. My heart is gutted. Colin, your extra long
beard and the mic and the nothing background.
It looks like a thumbnail of a video that pops
up on your YouTube feed from like 20 years ago
of just some hillbilly guy spouting off some
random stuff. Airsoft fatty is about to drop
a new one. Surely people in the chat know who
this guy is. For the chat, for the law criminals
out there, they know one thing about us. We have
no aura. We are... We fumble the bag a lot, but
we're going to talk today about Warhammer lore
moments. The complete opposite of what a creator
in lore crimes would be. Someone who's actually
got aura. And again, thank you everyone in the
Discord for sending in, again, another reason
to join the Discord because we posed this amazing
question to you guys and you guys came through.
Love the responses as always. Thank you guys
so much. But I think maybe... I don't know if
we go straight into the comments from people,
or do you guys want to start with maybe one of
each of us, just as sort of, obviously, actual
lore people, as in, like, this is our job, so
surely we should have a good one, at least. Yeah,
I suppose. We could do one each. I've got mine.
Does anyone else want to start, or should I just...
Go for it, man. Go for it. I see mine is from,
where else, but a Godric and Felix book. They
tend to be... at least you know three aura farming
scenes per book that's just kind of how the series
works but the one that sticks out to me it's
uh it's a gotcha good felix they went back to
known and i'm gonna say prior to that it was
like negative reputation for felix because he
wrote he wrote a book about their time fighting
the scaven invasion of gnome and people in gnome
like dock workers called him an idiot for saying
the scaven were real and i'm pretty sure at least
one of them punched him in the face But this
is for Felix. Him looking bad and getting the
crap kicked out of him, that's just kind of the
status quo for the poor dude. But towards the
end of the book, right, because the plot revolves
around, there's some Zeech nonsense going around,
trying to sabotage the Empire's production lines.
Because when most of your cannons come out of
one place, if anything happens to that one place,
You now only have the spear to fight the bloodthirster
with, which is not ideal. I'm going to say it's
probably a brave statement. Fighting a bloodthirster
with only a spear is not what you want to be
doing. So, you know, they were trying to hide
that. And in the end, we get on one of Malachi
McKayson's many blimps. But it's been revealed
that the saboteur, the sorcerer behind it all,
was actually working for him the whole time.
A little Zeech twist. And then, you know, Zeech
things start happening. The cannons come to life.
All of the humans aboard the dwarf Zeppelin are,
you know, going insane or dying to magic. And
the antagonist blasts Gatric and Malachi with
a magical kamehameha. I don't know how else to
put it. It's just this beam of pure, magical,
mutating, killing, hurting, bad energy. And they
just stand there like stanced up, you know, arms
wide, chest bare, shoulders broad. Well, bricked
out silhouette through the door, doorframe. And
they're just like, we're dwarfs. Your stupid
magic doesn't do anything to us. And then they
just start beating the snot out of them. Yeah.
It's like, look, there's a lot of hype moments
in Godric and Felix. I don't know, but that one
stands out to me because like. it's like an anime
sequence. You know, the bad guy tanks the attack
and then, you know, the smoke clears and they're
completely unfazed. It's like that. They're just
standing there like, is that it? And? Come on.
I assume he got slapped up silly after that,
though. I assume he got wrecked. Yeah, he, the
sort, I mean, antagonist in a Gotrick and Felix
book is perhaps the worst thing you can be for
your life expectancy. Unless you're thankful.
Unless you're thankful, then it's just one more
setback on his road to glory victory. It's a
strong start, but I might have one which I hope
no one else has taken. I'm slamming myself on
the table cock first because I've got a big one.
Is it a Horus Heresy one? It's not now. That's
what you've got to take from fantasy, because
I know it's just me doing that. I think Andy
probably knows exactly what I'm talking about.
It might even be in some of the comments mentioned
today, but it cannot be overstated, which is
it's Valdor finger guns. I'll just paint the
scene. You have Constantine Valdor already. We're
talking about custodian, emperor's left -hand
nut. big guy uh he appears in a scene where i'm
not gonna lie it feels like it's anime where
there's he's like i guess it's like thugs isn't
it and he essentially tells them to i don't remember
exactly what it in the wording he says but he
essentially just starts raising up his fingers
like this like literally like finger guns and
then just clicks and then one guy just immediately
It is a proper moment where it's like, you don't
want this. And he just goes, bang, bang, bang.
And then they all just start going, what's happening?
I think it turns out there's like the, well,
what would be, I guess, a Vindicaire assassin
somewhere like massively far in the distance
who's actually popping the shots. But it's a
pretty crazy moment. I don't think he's... Is
he in his custodian gear, Andy? I can't remember.
I can't remember. If he's in a disguise or something,
or, you know, disguised as like a seven foot
tall man. But it is a pretty big moment because
he just doesn't, he just, he realizes words are
not going to work. And so he brings out finger
guns, which is hella weird for a custodian to
ever attempt to do. I wouldn't have thought.
I mean, hey, 10 ,000 years later, there's no
biggie around to undo their personality. Some
of them have to. Some of them are going to have
little quirks, little fun stuff. Yeah, that's
a weird way to have fun. I mean, look, it's 40k.
If you can't look like a cool dude when you're
ordering people's deaths, what are you even doing
here? True. But yeah, that was a pretty... That's
my start, I'll say. That one's pretty good. Eli?
I feel like Eli, because I've said Horus Heresy
now, so Eli's got to rectify this with some Xenos.
Save us. Save us, Eli. I have like five that
I took note of, but I was going to say a Space
Marine one, but it's in a Xenos book. But I can
pivot. I can pivot. Do what you will. Everything
Artemax does in an elemental council is an aura
hype moment. Every single scene with him in it
is really cool, but I guess we could say something
else. I'm just going to do a Guardians of the
Galaxy. Who? Okay, okay, all right. The coolest
space train character ever. When Imhotep beats
Helbrek, that's pretty cool. He's got some aura.
He says, you've tried to claim this galaxy as
your own for 10 ,000 years, yet you have little
of a count to show for your efforts. Such failure
must be as depressing to bear as it is pathetic
to behold. Says the guy who was napping for 10
,000 plus years. I'm not listening to this skelly
boy. And then he cuts off Helbrek's hand. After
soloing Helbrek, by the way, it's not even a
good fight. The codex will tell you differently,
but the novel will tell you the correct things.
And Helbrek says, whatever, whatever, I'll fight
you, I'll hunt you, and Emotex says, I expect
you will. But here today you kneel before me
defeated and I will ensure you never forget it.
And then cuts off his hand. May this remind you
of your dishonor and defeat. And then I'll practice
dishonor forever and ever. Learn from this so
that we may duel again. Emo text the goat. Emo
text the goat. Yo, but what he did with that
hand though. Okay. All right. Sorry, I ruined
it. I know I'd ruin it. He hangs it up as a trophy.
like boo from the ladies and gentlemen the bad
emotech has a manicuring business on the side
and he needs hands to practice like necron fans
i'm always trying look i'm i'm the hand is outstretched
alliance that the real grown -ups of the setting
again come on necrons and eldar but everything
rmax does is an aura moment every single thing
one time real quick one time all like him and
sword like have this crazy fight she's fighting
for her life it's the like most horrible thing
she's ever done art of actions and barely powered
power armor and he still beats her and then he
says our galaxy will forget you in perfect tau
whoever you are our galaxy will forget you and
then just discards her and walks away and it's
awesome that's like the beginning of the book
so that's not a huge point Andy, do you have
one to balance us out? I've gone to the deep
recesses of the law. I've gone in the crevice
of the law and dragged something kicking and
squealing from obscure law. I'm picking a moment
from, I believe it's the Voice of Mars, which
is the second, I think. It's definitely the second
Iron Hand book with Shadrach Medusin. So basically
he's on Mars with a bunch of other tech marines
and... They're doing their training to become
tech marines. And he's already a sergeant of
the Iron Hands. He knows what he's doing. But
because he's an Iron Hand, the tech Magos is
like, oh, by the way, you get special stuff because
you're an Iron Hand. Because, of course, you
get perks of the job. Is this Shadrach or is
this someone else? Oh, not Shadrach. Sorry. Cardan
Stronos. Sorry. Cardan Stronos. Cardan Stronos.
He hasn't got a mini. And he's so obscure that
I confuse him with the character who has more
books. But no. cardan stronos is in this like
he's on a surgical table and the magos has cut
off the top of his skull and his brain is exposed
and it's like oh don't worry you big baby i'm
just gonna like fit something to your brain so
it works better and then she's betrayed and i
won't spoil the story but there's one of the
the orderlies betrays her So then Shadrach with
his brain kind of hanging out of his skull, like
breaks out of his binds, kills the guy who's
trying to kill him. And then just kind of goes
like, oh, put my skull back on and gets the staple
gun. Just goes like clink, clink, clink, clink
all the way around. And it's like, right, I've
got work to do. And I'm like, oh, that goes pretty
hard. That goes pretty hard. I can't lie. Need
to make sure the jelly doesn't pull out the jaw.
That is pretty important. That one needs to be
in. That is pretty nuts, though. I have an honorable
mention before we get into the submissions, which
is every time in Rogue Trader you tell Avalard
to announce yourself. I'm too important to announce
myself. Please do that for me. Help. Kill this
peasant. Go on. Do it. Avalard's not the help.
He's the honored Seneschal. It's just his...
The Silent King also has a hype man who constantly
says, Derek, last and mighty of the Silent Kings.
And that's awesome. I want a hype man like the
Judicator. Also, also... The most hype moment
probably ever off -screen was the single Gene
Steeler neophyte who killed Chiron and the other
one who killed Acheron who saw two main characters
on screen. I can one -up you with that, Eli.
The Watcher in the Dark who made the Changeling
shit itself. Just by looking at him, like...
Like a Karen in Walmart. He was in his sights.
This is John Gene Steeler neophyte. wouldn't
be wanting a Space Marine main character, and
they beat a helmetless Space Marine. Pretty good.
I also, death be upon me if I didn't mention
up, everything Cetra does in the End Times. Truly.
That is, I mean, that's just hard. He's the aura
moment, we heard. But we, speaking of the aura
moments, we do have, again, you guys put some
lovely submissions forward, and we're going to
go read through some of them. I'm not going to
lie. Some people have some good answers, though.
I did have a little sneak peek. Some people do
have some pretty good answers. I mean, there's
one immediately, if Eli can see it, if you go
into the No Judgment one. I need Eli or maybe
Colin to explain this one by... Is it Borbo?
Borbo! Borbo! God bless you. Wait. Just for some
of the beginning ones. Dude, we got a Borbo fan
right there. I know what's not. They're a real
one, I promise you. Don't worry about it. This
is the infamous Kato Sicarius incident. Oh, yeah.
Come on, everyone knows this incident. It's pretty
good. What do you mean? Could someone explain
it for someone who maybe doesn't know what we're
talking about? Eli's going to do it much more
negatively than I would. It's a cool moment.
It's a hype moment. Basically, Cato Sicarius
and his buddies are strolling through their Cato
Sicarius and his buddy's book. Nothing bad about
it. Not generous at all. They break the wall.
They break into some random Tao's house, pretty
much. They're going to this apartment and there's
a water cast lady in the apartment. uh with like
a gun under the counter behind her back or whatever
and uh she's talking to kato trying to get him
to be nice to her and what is she like i might
be able to find the exact audio she says something
like uh would your forefathers like be proud
of you or like look pleasantly upon you uh you're
attacking an unarmed female an innocent defenseless
unarmed civilian And Cato says, yes, and then
stomps her solid and kills her immediately. It's
even better because the ultramarine she's talking
to has a moment where he thinks of Gilliman and
is like, am I doing the right thing? And then
Cato Sicarius barrels through, yes, plants his...
It does remind me a bit of the animated Angels
of Death series, which... Chaplain Raphael, and
there's just gene stealers, and they're fighting,
and they just hear something, and he smashes
through a wall. He's like, kill the heretic!
Stomps one's head into mush. Kill the heretic!
Purge the unclean! And then this one's like,
he just blasts it with a pistol. That's a Space
Marine right there. That's like a grade A Space
Marine. That's Prime Rib Space Marine. Talos
is also a Prime Aura Farmer. I'm finally reading
through the Nightlord's Omnibus, and everything
Bro does is... pure aura maxed as they say i
mean he's a true cell he's a stone cold true
cell yeah just out of curiosity eli why is it
not not to be like no this isn't this isn't the
critique but just like what's why is it you've
not read it before is it just was it the hype
kind of get in the way and you were like i can't
be that good or just didn't get around to it
i just didn't get around to it i just read other
books i read mostly xenos books and like emperor
just like oh there's so many necron books I read
mostly Xenos books and Imperial Guard books,
because they're often way better than most of
the Space Marine 40k books, at least. Nice. We
should say for the people, Kato Zakaris did in
fact stomp a civilian to death, which is true.
To be fair, she had a weapon. He was vindicated.
She was reaching. It was a weapon in the bushes,
was there? The only time I've ever done the voice...
Sorry. No, you go. I got chaotic voices of Andreas
to do that line in my Kato Sakaris video, and
it's the only time I voiced a female character
because I thought it would be funny to be like,
the one time I do it, it's the one who's getting
curb stomped, and it's a bit cringe. And that's
the only time I've done it. Look, it's a matter
of context, right? Watch Captain Artemis dooming
the galaxy to Slaanesh, just saying yes. Not
cool. Not good. We kill Slaanesh on our own terms,
that's all. Bad. Bad. Kill this man and watch
Captain Artemis. Call them with the spray bottle.
No. Kato Sicarius just kicking some lady's chest
in because she didn't want to die. Cool. She
was an alien. Epic. It wasn't because she was
a lady. It was because she was an alien. Well,
yeah, yeah, but, you know. Reasonable crotch
out. I'm a Star Wars fan. I like the aliens more
often than not, sir. Unless they're Trandoshans.
Kill every one of them. If the Trandoshan is
breathing a plasma bolt, it will be receiving.
Republic Commando has scarred me for Trandoshans.
Thank you very much. Andy, you recently read
Fire Warrior. Do you remember any hype case moments?
Because that entire book is just... I think that's
just the book. Or did you only look into the
Ultramarines Raptors part and then just ignored
case for the rest of it? I was just like... I'm
going to kill this guy. I'm just saying that
if... If the Black Library don't respect the
character from that book enough to give him another
book in, like, 20 years, I don't have to respect
his deeds. I don't know. I've got enough obscure
Space Marine books to be like, yeah, first time
with the noose. I love the contrast of video
game book adaptions because Halo the Flood is,
you know, it makes it a little bit more human
with Master Chief. Or, like, the whole time against
the Flood, at least, he's like, this is... Absolutely
horrifying. And then we look over at Fire Warrior,
one -to -one adapting to him, slaughtering his
way through the ultramarines, the guards. Yeah,
yeah. Like, what do you mean, tone things down
for the book? Why would we do that? We do have
another one by Shecky. They say, you know the
answer, it's also a hammer. Which, Andy, do you
want to explain the context behind the scene?
If you remember it from Horus Heresy. Long story
short, Vulcan, the Primarch of the Salamanders,
has been captured by Conrad Kurz. Istvan happens.
He dies. I think he's nuked from orbit by the
Iron Warriors. That doesn't stop him. He's reformed,
kind of like Wolverine. And then the Night Lords
are like, oh, there's Vulcan in it. All right,
we should capture him. And Conrad's like... And
they put him on the night... the nightfall which
is their like flagship and curse just tortures
him for weeks there's things like the one that
sticks in my mind is i think i've mentioned it
before he goes let's test his perpetual powers
let's like just like tie him to the the back
of the ship where the exhausts are and disintegrate
him with like the ship's thrusters and he still
comes back from that like oh that's no good so
Eventually, he traps him in this maze in the
Nightfall, which was originally made to... I
believe it was made to trap... Was it made to
trap Angron as a contingency? Or was that just
something they did at the end? I think it was
supposed to, at some point. I think they made
a deal with Horus, and they were like, in case
we need it, we'll put this maze to trap Angron,
because he's a bit hard to wrangle. Because he's
Angron. Or during the Siege of Terra, they...
no they made they made a deal during the siege
of terror when khan was like oh my god anger
so they kill us all and so they went to the scribe
or who was in charge of the night lords they
went can we put him in your ship he went yeah
go on but the thing is grivok also got out there
because he had a demon in his sword that showed
him the way which is bitchy but i'm not sure
if they made it specifically for that purpose
or if it was just they did that hers just i think
it made it i think oh perserobin made it for
curse before the heresy must have begun well
Either way, it's like this really impossibly
large labyrinth within the depths of their ship
because quirky night lords. And Vulcan gets trapped
in that and he manages to make his way to the
end. And in the end, as like a prize, Conrad
leaves his weapon. I think it's Erdracule. Is
it Erdracule? The two -handed hammer. And he
goes and he gets it. And he's all like, ah. all
this, and you fought just for this hammer, blah,
blah, blah. Because it's got a teleporter on
it, doesn't it? It's got a teleporter. You went
all this way to teleport, and it's like, you
forget one thing, brother. It's also a hammer.
Bonk, and then he smacks him in the jaw a bit.
I butchered that, but you know. He does proceed
to bonk Kurz into almost death, and he almost
delivers the killing blow, but he says, I'm not
like you. And then he does teleport away. Okay,
bro. He basically goes like, you're a bitch,
but I'm not a bitch. He almost beat Curse to
death, I'm pretty sure, with the hammer and then
left him crying, most likely. We do have some
more, though. There's another one which I think
Colin might enjoy here, which is by FedNetFemboy,
which has a Colin Discord symbol on it. Good
to know that he said this thing. He says, when
Felix was being tortured by a demon of Zeech
and he just rage baited it. I don't know the
context of this one. So Colin, you might have
to explain this. Oh, which one was that in? He
might need some time to think about that. I might
need some time because I've said before, but
I read like all of the Godric and Felix books
over like two months. That's crazy, man. So it's
kind of just like this one giant blob of events
in my head. While you're thinking, shall I read
one out quickly? Which I think Eli would like.
And it's Twice Dead King from Chimp Wukong, which
is when Juseras was talking to Ultix about patience.
And then he has the Tachyon Arrow in his wrist.
And so you know, a Tachyon Arrow is like... you
know that scene in iron man where there's a tank
in the first one that shoots at him and he just
points oh yeah through the barrel and it blows
up but like imagine the end of the missile is
tipped with like a nuclear warhead and so it
can practically kill anything but they stress
in the books about if you miss when you fire
this oh you think you've ever like with the shot
that's the biggest whiff you can ever do because
this thing he i think he shoots at a titan and
it blows up it's like a big titan that was and
they're like they're they're they're like um
you know when you play an rpg and you're like
i've got an elixir i shouldn't use this until
i have to and it's the ultimate version of that
where you're like i don't want to shoot this
on anyone but i think there's even an example
they're like oh there's this one guy this necron
lord who shot it at a dude and it obliterated
him but it's just like What a waste of that.
Altex tries to shoot it at an aircraft, I believe,
and he misses. Which is why DeGeras is then lecturing
him on patience, and then he shoots it out at
the... It's not a... It's not a warhound. It's
one above that, I think. I feel like it's an
aerial warlord or something stupid. I feel like
it was a warlord. It's like the most... It's
one of the most powerful weapons in 40K, but
it only does D6 damage on the tabletop. I mean,
to be fair, that is most things on the tabletop.
Every time anyone says, and they shall know no
fear, and yet Space Marines have a leadership
score and always have. Donkey Man is saying,
Colin, it's Giant Slayer, it's Giant Slayer,
it's Giant Slayer. Oh, thank you. Oh, that was...
It would have been, I don't think they were quite
Demon Princes, if I'm remembering Giant Slayer
correctly. Because I know that was the one with
Teclis in it, so I remember that one. No, like
the enemies of that book were these two twin
sorcerers of Tzeentch, who had actually escaped
one of the previous books after, of course, Godric
slaughtered the main enemy, as he does. They
showed up back on Albion, and they had this giant.
And it was like one of the OG kind of giants
corrupted chaos where it wasn't like the ones
you normally see in Warhammer were like, they're
50 feet tall. They're pretty big. Now, this dude
was a skyscraper, which incidentally really quick
for his death. Godric cut his axe into his eye
and then scaled down his like eyes, like nerves
back down to the ground. He did an OG God of
War moment was just like. Zeus, I have come to
destroy Olympus, but it's God of War or Attack
on Titan, whichever one you prefer. They're both
equally applicable. Could you imagine a God of
War, God of War game? That'd be fun. I want either
that or what I chiefly want would be a Lella
Hesper X game made by the people who made Bayonetta.
I think that would go hard. With a little bit
of lollipop chainsaw thrown in. Yeah, yeah. Come
on, that would be a ton of fun. Colin just wanted
Marathi feet simulator. I assure you, I don't
need a game to find those images. Should we get
some donations? Yeah. Thank you, guys. Thank
you. Sorry we're a bit late. At Joshua Kevin
Perry for 10 bucks. Guys, I'm 42 on Trenbolone.
What? It's a steroid. Can I give a shout out
to a friend of mine? What is aura farming, he
says. In high school, he did a bunch of, you
know, like horse tranquilizers in the middle
of the hallway and passed out. Oh, okay. As you
do. That's it. That's it. That's the story. I
was tweaking on the ketamine. Because Trenbolone
came up and, you know, it's like a horse steroid.
It's just as bad. If you put nothing, if you
put nothing into veins, you can cure COVID. I
promise. This was well before COVID. This was
well before COVID. He just did that. One for
you, Hal. DonkeyManUSA, thanks, brother. Member
for 17 months. Jesus, bro. Thank you. Thank you.
Stream late due to Hal aura gooning. Is gooning
ever cool? Like, what do you mean? Sometimes
you gotta crank your hog, you know? Or hog your
crank. Nolan Baker, thank you for the $2. Andy,
do you feel bonita? You smell like pretty boy.
I don't know what that means. I think he means,
Andy, you're caked up and he's got a sweet tooth.
It started with a family guy reference and then
I don't know what that second half is. I mean,
do you feel bonita? I have a manly musk, but
I don't think I could be described as a pretty
boy smell. Leave it at that. But thank you nonetheless.
And he's very pretty. I didn't take the horse
tranquilizers. I just knew about him doing it.
After it happened, mind you. After it happened.
I know a girl who loves horse tranquilizers.
What is this episode? Solo 117 for two. Angelos
letting his two guards die in the D02 intro.
True. Well, that's the retribution intro, I believe.
Yeah. Terminators. Colin, this is for you, I
think. A hundred dead guinea pigs. Thank you.
Wow. Five euro. Thanks, brother. Thanks. Squeak,
squeak. And it's a picture of Colin as well.
It is. Thanks, guys. I didn't forget the countdown,
Andy. Just the password. Your forehead is mine.
Do you... I haven't seen whatever this is, but
do you guys like my Colin Accurate gelt model
I posted in gelt posting? I'm going to... Check
out the Discord if you want to see that stuff.
Link should be in the description, I imagine.
I just got a text from my girlfriend that just
says sparkles. Bonita sparkles. Do you feel bonita?
I don't know what it means. Nomius Chomsky for
10 euros. Greetings, guys. Hope you guys are
doing well. Can't stay for long. Has some stuff
to do. Sadly, due to some stuff, I can't donate.
That's more than enough. Thank you guys so much.
I hope everyone have a great rest of the day.
Hashtag... Thank you very much. You're a G. Thank
you. Oh. Oh dear. Biggest squiggin' 448242 bring
back the effin' chair. I will not be doing that.
There will be a slight tilting of the angle as
I figure out the best way to tilt my monitor.
Could we get like a chair silhouette in the hall
behind your door? We'll get like a printout of
a chair and put it on the cupboard. The fucking
Goku Prowler cock chair. I'm hearing like the...
What's the Into the Spider -Verse music like?
The one day... I find a nice loving person to,
you know, make a life with. And then they look
at what I do. And it's like 90 % people calling
me a cuck on this channel. It's just the loud
minority of people who scream that everyone else
is just like... We do love you guys. Andy's girlfriend
is the only significant other who actually watches
these, so shout out. My wife doesn't watch any
lore crimes. And also hasn't either been an absolute
fucking war criminal in... in gary's mod games
although also i will say other than me apparently
the favorite is colin so sorry fellas yeah yeah
uh type ross the colorblind wake uh always good
to see you man uh remember for four months tylen
o johnson meeting the crave xenos had aura true
yeah he didn't give a crap did he Donkey Man.
Donkey Manusa. Sorry, USA. What am I talking
about? Thank you for the $2. Colin has the cock...
Sorry. Oh, my God. It's already named. No, no.
It's already named. It's in the closet. You can
see. It's bits of the desk because the desk isn't
technically fully assembled, but that's going
to probably remain that way for 30 years. A dog
bed for Athena. I don't have Athena's back here
yet. It's his. It's his. Furry confirmed. I own
a dog. Oh my god. Linus Soderquist 1738 has been
a member for 18 months. Cheers, buddy. Another
new member this time. Orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs.
Thank you, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs. Welcome to
the members -only Discord Ivory Tower chat. You
can be in the Discord if you're a member. Bean
for five bucks. Good to see you, Bean. glad to
see colon thriving in his soviet block apartment
oh man he bought it as well big ben o 10 or ben
0 10 for 10 glad to finally catch you guys live
Love the pod and your videos. Currently building
AdMech whilst listening, so may your foreheads
remain ever glorious. Thank you, brother. I got
a question for the Ben 10 heads in the chat.
In 40k, if Ben 10 used the Omnitrix to turn into
a human being, would he just turn into the emperor?
Because he does turn into the peak of the species
he chooses. I'm not very up to date. I don't
really know anything about Ben 10, but isn't
Ben 10 just like... the green lantern but getting
through like copyright isn't that his power no
no he has a watch that turns them into aliens
like it's green that's it but like green lanterns
are aliens and their powers can turn them into
all sorts of stuff Isn't that just... It's different.
Green lantern rings don't turn you into anything.
It's different, bro. It's different. I promise.
You make constructs with those. You don't turn
into anything. The only thing they have in common
is that they're green. So are the salamanders
a green lantern ripoff because they're green?
What? They construct matter into objects with
their powers. Oh, but that's what green lantern
rings do. They construct objects. It just seems
similar. We're not going to start a Ben 10 argument
about Warhammer 4 and more. Glass Laughter, thank
you for 20 bucks. Jesus, man. Hi, guys. Quick
question. Were the two fallen marines who were
chaos marines in Lion's Son of the Forest, were
they gay for each other? I remember them, and
I think they were really gay for each other.
They kissed. The two guys who... I mean, not
really. Space Marines, unless they're Lucas the
Trickster for some reason, are asexual. Lucas
the Trickster slays, though. Also, Rockfist had
several children because he was a full -on man
before he became... Space Wolves just do everything.
The thing is, I will say Glass Laughter. Just
remember that they did kiss. It was in the book,
I promise. I haven't read it yet. And then they
kissed. They kissed, and then one of them said,
I'm risen. And then the book ends. I was eating
the sandwich. Distinctly remember them. In fact,
one of them betrays one of them. Yeah, but that's
just chaos stuff. Look, Romeo and Juliet, you
can betray your lover. True. It's been a while
since I read Romeo and Juliet. Even the Emperor's
Children books haven't ever read a space marine
doing something sexual. It's only the space wolves,
somehow. The Emperor's Children have a line where
it's alluded to that they had an orgy in one
of the books. No, it's not. Yes, it is. I remember
that. The Emperor's Children skipped over sex
right into painting things with poop. I'm sure
they're getting the rocks off. I think it gets
into the end. They have to keep it PG -13, I
guess, usually. It's not PG -13. Fulgrim literally
goes like, Lucius, you did quite well in the
last interaction with the boys, and you're like,
oh no. You could say that that's what it means,
but like... I think GW are just aware of maybe,
like, it gets into weird territory, and then
your fans get weird. Yeah, even like when Octavia
in the Night Lords omnibus is taken by, like,
literal R -A -P -E -ists. It doesn't even, like,
say that they did anything. It just, like, implies
stuff. As children, they touch tips. That's all
I'm saying. Tyboros, the colorblind wake. I will
prove it to you, Valdor Racer's arm and pointed
a finger at the gunner behind the multilaser.
In the Emperor's name, he said, his tone calm
and conversational. Death! There you go, Hal.
Thank you, brother. Thank you. Thank you, Tyboros.
Extra D6. Oblivion PFP. Extra Descent Skeleton.
Decent. Sorry. Extra Decent Skeleton. I've recently
gotten the new Oblivion. I'll be playing it for
the first time ever, so that's cool. Colin, your
failure to recognize the greatness of the Dunmer
disgusts me. However, Pelanol is also really
badass. so here's money and long live the elysian
empire i see i like that second sentence unfortunately
as i have said before on this podcast uh all
mer are mermen who deserve death i mean except
except for uh and uh and uh what is it done more
like done Yeah, exactly. Andy gets it. Nerania
and Windhelm can stay, though, because she's
just... You ask her why she's there. No. You
ask her why she's there. She's like, I'm here
to war profiteer. Like, you know what, girl?
You know what? That's real. I can respect that.
I respect that. Hey, hey, hey. I agree. What
are you doing here? I'm here to profit off of
the war. Good for you, girl. Make that bag. Every
other mer, though. Fucking erase them all. And
then the Bretons for being filthy elf blood.
animals. Which are the ones which, like, they
used to own Cyrodiil and then they had the slave
up, right? Oh, those were the aliens who have
been put to the sword. Yeah, yeah. As Colin,
you know, probably moistens himself with every
night the thought of alien death. For all of
you big elves, we can come together on the Elder
Scrolls. When are we going to get the Elder Scrolls
race obliteration tier list? Oh, dude. Which
race would I genocide? Obliteration tier list?
Dude, how long? Bretons, Nords, Redguards, blah,
blah, blah. Nah, nah, nah. Those are all fine,
except for Bretons. Those are all fine races.
Aliens first, though. Those are all fine races
of man who deserve to inherit Nirn. It is the
myrrh who shall be purged. I hope you're happy
to know that I got sent edited pregnant art that
you drew. Someone sent that to me. Ricky sent
us some shirts because I asked for sizes. I got
mine. I should have worn that. It's the only
time we're going to get to. Well, I mean, maybe
you'll wear it in public. I'll wear it in another
Lore Crimes podcast. I'll do it. I'm going to
a friend's house. I will put a picture in the
Discord of me wearing the shirt in public. I
promise. And he's a confident man. Biggest. BiggestSquiggan4482
for 10. I've been playing Kill Team in Spearhead
the past month. I blame y 'all for peaking my
pre -existing interest to the point I'm confident
enough to go to my LGs. Very fun. Blessings upon
your rectums. Thank you. After a certain age,
go to the doctor regularly. Get yourself checked.
May your bowel movements be fluid. I go to the
diabetes doctor every like six months. I'm very
on top of that one, but I haven't been to a normal
doctor in like six years. I should really do
that. I've been meaning to get a checkup done.
He's clunking. When's the last time you went
to the dentist as well? Oh no, dentist. I go
to the dentist. I went in and I was like, I haven't
been in three years. And they were like, oof.
They're like, good for you, good genetics. And
they're like... I was at the dentist a couple
weeks ago. The dentist and the diabetes doctor,
those I do regularly. Stealthy4741. I think 41
is that down. For five bucks, man, thank you.
You think the emperor, every time he appeared
in front of some person and said, you see this
fit? That's a good one, to be fair. Linus Sodaquist,
1738 for 50 sec. Caius Cain, after having a duel
with a deserter and the rest of the war party
arrives, Jürgen, kill him. I think if I remember,
I was just, I was like, I saw that passage. Wasn't
this was, wasn't he like, Inquisitor, hold on
a moment, please. Like, I'm pretty sure it was
the Amberley Vale, but again, it's still two
Inquisitors. Like, one moment, please. I need
to deal with something. And the guy's holding
a gun to Cain's head. And Kane's like, you're
not going to do that. And the guy's like, what
do you mean I'm not going to do that? You're
going to kill him. By the way, we've got like
16. They keep having more donations. Thank you.
We appreciate it, Jen. We got a surprise. Shadowfire2113,
five bucks. Thank you. Here's money. Thank you
very much. Thank you very much. There's some
CSM in Dawn of War 2 Retribution campaign who
calls you ungrateful scum for trying to escape
the exterminatus, telling you to pay your penance
in blood, all while he solos a carnifex. That's
pretty hard. Jesus. 1999. Thank you, man. If
we're talking aura farming... What's about the
moment when Perturabo beats the hell out of Angron,
just hitting him with endless artillery? Every
time other Primarchs see demon Angron, they get
scared, but Perturabo isn't. Look, I hate Perturabo,
but look, I'll give him credit. He realizes he's
in a setting where 10 ,000 cannons beats demons.
If I remember correctly, he has his little robot
iron circle thing. They just surround Angron
and just club him. point -blank shotgun blasted.
And then he fights Angron. He basically goes,
you're weak, you're a slave, you gave in, you
bitch. Ultimate Reddit mod brings the banhammer,
quite literally. I remain my strength, you gave
in to dark powers. You surrendered to chaos.
Meanwhile, Paderabo is a chaos Primarch. It was
dumb, though. It wasn't supposed to be like that.
It's confirmed. I know. Stealthy 47, 41 for 5.
Now, which character in Fortigate has the best
aura farming techniques? Probably Caiaphas. Probably
Caiaphas. I would go Cain because his aura farming
is part of the act he puts on. It's very intentional.
He's refined it. You might have to try and speed.
Sorry, appreciate all the donations. I try and
speed around a little bit just to get back to
the content. Actually, yeah, we could. Should
we do like three more and then we'll have 10
left and then we'll come back. Again, thank you
guys so much. Thank you. Keep the war crimes
alive. Thank you for the $5. I'm feeling it.
If any of you, if any of us are feeling good
or if any of yous are feeling it, I got one of
Morathi's shoes. If you want to sniff, meet me
by the dumpster behind the Arby's. We'll be there.
If you hear the Left 4 Dead, you alerted the
horde noise if I found one of those near me.
Colin would run on all fours just to get a whiff.
Yeah, like the movie Split. Biggest squiggin'
for two bucks. YouTube reset my name. Billions
must goons. And MeckerT210 with the 10 bucks.
Thank you. Andy, hella cute though. He is. He's
the handsomest lore criminal. He is. I don't
know. He's the most confident as well of all
of us. We wouldn't send something back if it
was wrong. There's a fine line between being
confident and being a silly billy, so I'll just
leave it at that. But yes, where are we going
for now? The rest of the... the suggestions from
the Discord. Yeah, I mean, if anyone's up for
it, I've chosen one by usually our resident Godric
and Felix enjoyer, Mr. Beastman from Sweden.
He says, Dante being impaled on the hive tyrant's
claw and just raising his pistol and shooting
it in the face. That's cool. That is pretty sick.
Can I add on to this moment? Because just before
this, this is when Devastation of... Bartle.
The entire Blood Angel successors have all mostly
joined together. They fought the good war. They've
done loads of killing. This is like the last
charge. They unleash the gates of the Death Company
and they just basically unleash the gates of
Arameo and Dante just goes, Charge! And all the
Blood Angels flood out against the Tyranids.
The Damned march with the Damned. Yeah, the Damned
march with the Damned. So they're all, you know,
we are all death company now. You know, they're
not coming back from this. And they all, like,
rush out. They're all fighting and carving up
Carnifexes and, like, you know, Hormagaunts and
all that good stuff. And some of them just get
swiped and killed, but they don't care. They
keep going on. And then Dante ends up... I think
he has like a weird vision quest thing where
he starts to see how he's climbing a mountain
and then he finds himself at the end like fighting
the swarm lord he's kind of not doing that well
initially he's just like running away then he
ends the you know he takes a few hits on it but
then it's hitting him back and then he chooses
to let himself die and he goes out swinging and
then Sanguinus is like no no and he's like please
let me die please and Sanguinus is like nah He
is so gassed to be dead as well. He's so gassed.
He's like, thank goodness. He's like, take me
with you. He's crying. He's like, no, let me
die. There is a comic. I think it might be Miksu
in. I'm not sure. It was just him with the tears.
He's like, I can't wait to die. And then Sanguin
is there like... He's got the big tears and he's
all chibi -fied. I'm like, that's cool. Your
duty ain't over. We got some chatters very displeased
about Andy's Ben 10 comparison. Ben 10 foul boy.
I don't watch Ben 10. I'm not seven. I was seven
when it was airing and it was peak. All right,
cool. Is there any from the selection that you
particularly find a draw to? There is. And you
know, this is even like tangentially Eldar slander.
I got to give it some credit. It's when the Emperor
is entering the webway in a Master of Mankind.
Oh, yeah. From Donkey Man USA. And in the sunless
realm, the sun rose at last. You know, I mean,
it's simple. It gets the point. The big man is
here now. We've won. Do you want to explain it,
Andy, for the people who maybe don't? Colin,
do you want to explain it then? I know the gist
of the war in the webway. It was after the Emperor
was doing his webway project to move mankind
into it, and Magnus did nothing wrong and ruined
the webway project, which, again, Hal, I'm sorry.
I must give Magnus credit for this one. I hate
him so much. In this moment, as much as he did...
Biff it. He was trying to warn his dad of his
very clearly traitorous bro. He had good intentions.
He was trying. Yeah, but that's like saying,
I'm trying to give a warning to my brother, but
I drunk drive to get to him. Also, this is where
Emperor Slander supersedes Magnus Slander. Maybe
if Big E mentioned what he was doing, Magnus
would have done it another way, but he didn't
have the information because his dad's a prick.
Anyways. That's fair, that's fair. I found a
nice Xenoth representing. message here another
one yeah after that happens the webway project
like the seals are broken because magnus broke
through them demons like pour into the webway
and because they're they gush into the webway
they're demon like it's all the demons of chaos
pouring into one point basically all the ones
that can not the weber see yeah it's an endless
uh it's an endless tide and it's part of the
webway like connecting to terra so again it's
in it's in the emperor's like house And initially
he wasn't dealing with it because like directly
dealing with it because, you know, the Horus
heresy was ongoing. The Emperor had a lot of
some pressing things on mind beyond even that.
But eventually he got to a point where he couldn't
quite ignore it. And he entered. And it is as
the as the line says, in a sunless realm, the
sun rose at last. There was the custodians were
reinvigorated. like just because you know their
god was there biggie gave him you know what like
a full night's rest like that you're ready to
go you're ready to fight and he's the emperor
of mankind so he was just i i like the meme is
again it's another web comic person where it's
just like it's that quote and it's joey from
friends and it's a demon it's just like And that's
the quote above it. It's like, oh no, you're
messed up now, boy. And it's, to my knowledge,
they don't spend books and books of the Emperor
in the webway because they don't need to. The
Emperor has showed up here personally. Everything
in front of him is going to be unmade now. That's
just how that works. An army of fire and the
revenge of the fallen dead of Isvan and a certain
Primarch -looking flame, but not an actual Primarch.
Can you say that again? Merus Fanus. Revenge
of the Fallen? Can I glaze the con for a moment?
I've got a pick. It wouldn't be a War Crimes
episode. I'd be on his knees for the con. Papa
Bradford, Jagatai and Sanguinius. If I act, said
the con. Sanguinius opened his eyes to look at
him. there is a grave risk to you a confrontation
unlooked for and if you survive a fight from
one danger into great peril who will i face i
cannot divine will i save lives sanguineus nodded
many that is what i was made for said the khan
i will ride out He's peak! He's freaking peak!
I can't lie. That goes hard. There's too many
Siege of Terror ones. Everything Khan does is
an horror moment. Tonight, on the Siege of Terror,
the Khan decapitates Mortarion. Shaban Khan rescues
a baby. And Camber Diaz is dead. I heard you
do strange things to your warriors. I have two
of them based off of both something sent and
what Andy just said. It's a Siege of Terror one
I have. Cool. It's when Karn got his future sight
of the Black Templars raging across the galaxy
and was utterly horrified. And he's telling Sigismund,
Sigismund is like, I don't like, he's like, you
are broken. And Sigismund is like, I don't give
a shit. I'm just going to kill you now. Yeah.
I'm a vacuum of unfeeling, unmerciless killing.
That goes pretty hard. The other one though.
And this is a from one in the chat. Andy will
wear a green hat. I haven't. Don't fret about
it. It will happen. Titus. He says Titus when
he picked up the banner, and it's a picture of
the Space Marine 2. I'm going to say that goes
hard, but it's followed by an even better moment
when Marnius Calgar himself shows up, not even
looking down as he's just firing into the masses.
It's just like, brief me. I was just grumpy playing
this game. Oh, man, this game sucks. I hate this
game. And then that came on, and all was forgiven.
Also, thank you to everyone who watched my video
on Marnius Kalgar when I was like, no one's watched
it. And then Space Marine 2 came out. Thank you.
Thank you. I'll take that. Marnius Kalgar, once
again, the greatest of us all. He is the spiritual
liege of all Space Marines. They all wish they
could be Ultramarines. Pulls off the head of
a skull. Lord of Skulls. Lord of Skulls. It takes
W after W after W. I got a metal Marnius Calgar
the other day. I just found him. I just dropped
his arm. Here's a one -armed Marnius Calgar.
Hell yeah. I have to say, I get why people complain
about that one. But if I'm reading a 40k comic
by Marvel, I don't want... reasonable, this guy
couldn't do that. I want cool shit. And pulling
a Lord of Skull's head off is cool shit. The
thing is, Marnius doesn't have a novel. He only
has the comic. He's kind of just there. He just
sits on the throne. Dante's got a book. Asriel's
got books. Shrike's in a book. I feel like we
could just send that picture of that second edition
image of just him with the hands the size of
people. The hands are the size of his own chest.
His tiny little head. I love you, Marnius. Never
change. Your chapter master doesn't look like
that. I know that. Speaking of Marnius, I do
have one I can read. And it has Marnius in it.
And it's kind of funny. From Disputus Lupus,
the Swarmlord. Shout out, Swarmlord. First tier
dimension. The Sworn Lord cutting through Kalgar's
honor guard like Clinton's hitman through Epstein's
door. Turning Kalgar himself into a quadriplegic.
Feeling hungry. Might need the Ultramarine's
first company later. IDK. Hashtag just behemoth
things. Peak. Cinema. Peak. Oh, man. I was thinking.
I'll be back. Or is it the Swarmlord blowing
through Bubba like it's no one's business? Man,
that is a crazy year. I have one which is here
by SmoothbrainCetrasimp, which is a very confusing
title and name. which is Grimaldus standing atop
the walls of Hell's Reach, screaming for the
orcs to come and kill themselves and the defenders'
guns. I mean, yeah, there's quite a few from
Hell's Reach. I can often think of, like, you
know, like, sons and daughters of Hell's Reach,
this is our city, this is our walls. Say it,
scream it, cry it, no, decry it so the bastards
will hear us from orbit, and then they just go,
Grimaldus, Grimaldus! You know? Oh, man, it is...
It does hit so hard. You know, anything that
Grimaldus kind of, anytime Grimaldus decides
he needs to speak to people in a group, he just
really does unleash it. But I had one, I might
say one for the end, which is my favorite, but
I had another one that was, like Colin chose
one from the chat. I got one that's, it's not
really like, I don't know if it's like a proper
aura farming moment, but I found it quite. It
kind of is. It is Uftak, Mr. Funny Orc himself.
And it's when he's actually, it's in the second
book when he's imprisoned by the Drukhari, the
Dark Eldar. And he's, in the context of the book,
he's obviously a, you know, he's a boss. He's
a big boy. And he's been shot by this Drukhari,
like, poison. The way this poison works is it
over -inflates your body to the point where you
just burst. But then he also got hit with a tranquilizer.
at the same time so they capture him and his
body's like starting to like bubble up and then
one of the other drukari i can't remember the
name of the um particular drukari in the book
she has him in prison she goes out to the prison
cells and then she goes to like this um yeah
yeah and she sees him in the prison cell except
he's much bigger now like he's noticeably She
definitely goes like, hang on a minute. He wasn't
that big as before, but because he had the tranquilizer,
it helped him survive. And so he just basically
ends up enlarging to an even bigger boss. And
he's just sitting in the prison cell and he's
staring at her. And you know where he's like,
there may be prison walls between us, but I could
definitely kill you with one little flick of
my wrist. I've only just got back. Did you mention
why why he became so big i mean he got he got
hit by the poison particular thing it's like
a homunculi poison that's supposed to like make
your organs and stuff so overactive that like
you explode But because it's an orc, it just
makes him enormous. And he goes from a pretty
smart orc to then at the end, he's there with
a pipe in his hand. You don't seem to understand,
Rukari. Actually, we don't fear death. We embrace
death. He starts to say, you know what? I've
been doing all this thinking, and I'm starting
to like thinking now. But not like a death skull.
not like that yeah no blood acts not like a blood
but proper thinking yeah and then in the audiobook
they do such a good job because he's basically
sounds like you know what mate i reckon i can
i could you know slay an uprising with my little
twinkie you know sort of thing he's he sounds
so funny in the audio book and then steals her
um her flagship and uses that to kill his own
war boss like oh this guy's not playing anymore
they have a communist uprising that ends up failing
in the book and then they get killed by all the
wounded drukhari because they're just like oh
look it's a healing bath yeah the the red gobbo
stuff is actually quite i'd honestly recommend
anyone if you want to know about orcs read the
red gobbo stuff because there's a lot of little
tidbits in those books that you wouldn't expect
it's really good The Drukhari made a poison that
inflates orcs. Look up orc inflation to find
out more. Dark inflatable. I've got two. I've
got one from the selection and one I remembered.
One, Matt2701, as he said in the no judgment.
The obligatory such is the power of Nagash quote.
I mean, again, the context of that is he's telling
that to someone and the full quote is him going,
you're nothing, I can kill you in an instant
and then put your soul in a cage and laugh at
you in suffering forever. He just said that.
No one made him say that. He just broke that
one out. And if I remember correctly, it's to
someone comparatively insignificant, but it has
been a while, I will admit. He might have been
saying that to his brother. Such is the power
of Nagash. I mean, come on now, fellas. Did you
say you have another one as well? The other one,
yes, I remember this and I'm going to need to
defend this one because it's Eldar related. Anything
Eldrad does. Okay. Alright, so let's start. I'll
even start Horse Heresy for everyone. Like the
Fulgrim meeting. No, no, no. Ignore that one.
Him tormenting John Grammaticus on Ultramar is
the most extra shit. John looks at this fountain
and he notices time has stopped. He sees a reflection
not his own and there's voices in his head. Then
he leaves. He's like, I gotta leave. He goes
to some diner and then he sits down. He looks
away, looks back. There's Eldred. Again, time
has completely stopped. There's so many other
ways, like psychic ways, like cast an illusion,
do so many different millions of things you can
do. Eldred stops time. And he's also like, hey,
bro, do you know what? I just got a word bearer
assistant now. He's like my admin guy. Just got
one of them now. Can we give Eldred one W, please?
One real W? okay he is i'm following up with
the w uh and again this is it's still imperium
related because such as eldrad's unfortunate
fate but we'll get there we'll get to one all
on his own uh the war of the beast with the last
wall protocol when eldra goes yeah probably should
save tara hey all of the warp settle down would
you just just calm down let let let the let the
let the monkeys reach tara please settle down
But lest we not forget that Gazgul is his fault
because he was like, oh, there's a threat. There's
an orc threat that's going to kill all of my
people. I'm going to let this warlord rise up
to prominence just because it's better that it's
harassing everyone else in the galaxy. That might
be an Eldar W, but it's still an Imperial W.
It's still an Imperial W. I'd like to remind
you, some people say the Eldar are arrogant.
Have you read a 40K anything? That's everyone.
If the worst thing you can say about someone
is they're arrogant, that's nothing. I do like
also like there is an aura moment in the Grotsnik
book where, read the book, I would say, but long
story short, there's a Genestealer uprising and
Grotsnik makes an orc Genestealer hybrid to fight
Gazgul because he's all like. He calls him a
bucket. He says a bucket for Gork and Mork, and
we made Gork and Mork. It doesn't matter who
it is. He could be called Kevin. It doesn't matter.
He's just a bucket for Gork and Mork to be a
repository for. He kills the Genestealer -Orc
hybrid, and Gaz is just like, that was fun. Do
better next time. Also, make it proper Orky.
Don't make it one of these weird Gribblies. And
you're like, oh. Oh, gas. Okay. Crazy boy. I
got two more. I got two more for Eldred. I must
always defend him. One is how he soloed Abaddon.
Which again, a lot of work did go into that.
I will say, a lot of work went into that. Eldred,
like... He did the Doctor Strange Infinity War
thing where he was like, every possible time,
he was like, okay, I need to do exactly this
or I'm going to die. But Eldred did do exactly
that, and he sliced open Abaddon's throat and
nearly cut his head off before he teleported
away. It was all Eldred. There was no Imperium
influence. I mean, you've got to keep the big
bad guys alive. Sigismund did better than that.
He empowered him through the gut. Yeah, and what
happened to Sigismund? He died. Yeah. Eldred
didn't. Yeah. All right. And you know what? I'm
even going to bring up the death watch thing.
Cause you know what? The reason it failed was
because Eldred tanked a dreadnoughts like Wes
can into the face. Like he didn't even fully
bring his attention to deal with it. He like
a sliver of a sliver of his conscience was like,
block that. But bear in mind. Right. Colin, here's,
here's the crux of that though. Yes. That led
to the Inari. Eldrad gave birth. He calls himself
the Herald of Iniad. He's like, I'm the one who
brought him into the Farore. So technically you
have to thank Artemis for bringing you two really
good Inari books. Wow. And he's hated for the
Eldar. And the latest lore where Eldrad is so
committed to the Inari that he gave up and went
home to Ulthwae. Eli? You were there. You were
all there when we were in Ireland and I was reading
the Craftwell books. I'm like, oh, God, it's...
We have wounded this man. I still don't know
if I should laugh or cry at Eldrad's latest lore
as he's just given up on the Inari. He went home
the old way. Can I share one that I quite liked
from the discussion on this course? I have to
do a slightly different thing here. The post...
is the moment when Mortarion realizes that the
Khan is not dead and is in fact much faster than
he is and is going all out in brackets, although
every time I hear the phrase the Khan started
to dance, I think of this video. I'm going to
share this video. Is it the farting on my roommate's
door? I'm going to lose it. It's better. It's
better than that? That's hard to... I'm going
to be 40 years old and how still going to be
talking about farting on my roommate's door?
See that red light that moved in this? All right,
here we go. It's what we were sent, and I think
that's kind of fun. Thank you. Thank you, my
darling background. But I just like the way that
Master Chief kind of wiggles. He's throwing it
back. He's having a good time. Look at him. He's
having a good time. Master Cheeks. You mind telling
me what you're doing in this dance club, sir?
You mind telling me what you're doing on that?
Living room floor, sir. Dancing my ass off. Sir,
I'm with the shits. That's a good drawing voice.
Holy frick. It does remind me of the, sir, the
cop in my ass cheeks is alluring the guards.
It reminds me of that sometimes. Sir, security
camera. We'd have a... Sir, why are you... What's
his name? By Ron Perlman. I really like Sons
of Anarchy, sir. Cool. Cool, bro. Oh, I love
that show, though. We have another one by, was
it Ben H., though? I was going to say, should
we get through some donos quickly? Because we've
got a few to go through. Oh, yeah, sure. I'll
see it. Yes. Thank you, fellas. So, Sir Band
for five. Colin, get you a... girl who thinks
Curse is a cutie. The psyched ward girl can't
be that bad. For those who don't know, there's
a weird trend where a lot of girls who are into
Warhammer are like, I like orcs, I like tyranids,
and I like the night lords. And you're like,
girl, what's wrong? What's going on in there?
What's going on in there? Wood. Wood. The orc
ladies seem to be the most sane. Seems to be
the most normal. Funny little guys. It's the
corn girl that are crazy. Orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs.
For 20 Canadian. Jesus, man, thank you. I hope
I didn't miss a Dota 2 livestream yet. I also
loved it when the orcs kick all your arses in
Dawn of War. Happens quite frequently. Andy,
last time we gamed before Lore Crimes, we lost
to the orcs like three times in a row. Oh, I
saw. We did one Dota 2 livestream with Andy,
and Andy hated it, and will never play again.
Why don't we do Dota 2? I'd like to do some livestreams.
And also, Cognate is like, Vermintide 2 is free,
so I'm like, I'll get that. We can play Vermintide
2 with the boys for free. Tyboros, the colorblind
wake. Having a stroke at Andy's lack of Ben 10
lore knowledge is the most valid take Colin has
had. I'll take it, because you know what? That
was fucking heinous. I'm going to look into this.
We're starting to see the generational gaps between
all of us now. Me just being like, get off my
lawn, Ben 10. Get out of here. These kids are
too loud. He's cool. DonkeyManUSA, thank you
for the $5. Colin's Ben 10 talk reminds me of
Vilgax, who aura farms all... Yeah, he gets it.
Who is that? It's a Ben 10 character, yeah. Colin,
do you want to take this one? Of course. I'm
taking this as a compliment. Bean, with the five
bucks. Cologne has that, you will perish as your
weakly father did. Soulless, honorless, weeping,
ashamed, ah, hairline. That's Sigismund. Sigismund's
to go. I'll take that, I guess. Although I saw
an art depiction of Sigismund and Abaddon and
he didn't have the beard. I'm like, he has a
beard. He has a sadness beard. Give him the sadness
beard. What's his name from Heroes? Nathan. At
Bombsida. Sorry, you became a member. Thank you.
Take me in the Discord and I'll add you to the
members chat. And I want to buy a vault. Thank
you, man, so much. Laz, do we have your permission
to start trolling Mr. Bones by making a Gilliman
ex -Uvarain meme, but with him and me? Or is
that too mean -spirited? No, I mean, all I know
is I don't want to explain the beast. I don't
know this lore. That's just a VTuber we both
know. Well, the thing is, Arthur has a running
joke where he's just like, women! And that's
his thing with me, where he's just like, ah,
women and bad. And you're like, oh, Connor. No,
but he's right. She's awful. He has never, in
fact, seen a real woman. She's a Dead by Daylight
player. She's going to hell. I don't think she's
so bad, but I have suggested she play Legendary
on... the library on her first playthrough, so
we'll see how that goes. Everyone here, every
chatter who is also a degenerate has full free
to clip the following statement. Every fucking
member of Glitch Stars is pure evil. I'm 0 for
2 on them not being awful. Andy, I played the
library on Heroic and it was awful. I can't imagine
that on Legendary. Rocket Flood. That's what
it is, Eli. Rocket Flood. It's the one for Cullen
here, actually. Thank you, Big Ben. Thank you
for the 10, Big Ben Oten. I would like to thank
Colin for getting me into Comstar and Battletech
as a whole. And I'm glad I could spark up a Ben
10 argument. Well, for that second part, you've
done your job. Anything to spread the glory of
Ben Tennyson. And hell yeah, man. Glad you're
getting into that Comstar. Peace of light be
upon you, Big Ben. Thank you, man. Thank you.
Another one there. Oh, at non dormant, two, eight,
eight, nine for two bucks. Grand Cathay is only
aura. They have, they have in their lore. Yes,
because they haven't received because for some
reason, old world has gotten one, a new book.
So all of the little Cathay lore bits and short
stories that do exist is it's that even when
someone in Cathay is being made worse. It's to
make someone else in Cathay look better. Shout
out to Yuanbo. He's a real one. Yuanbo. He's
the only guy I really know anything about. Gilman,
Lehman Russ, and the lion turned into one being.
Oh, at Linus Sodaverquist. Oh, that's the worst
name ever for me. Sodaquist. It's kind of a 7038
for the 20 SEK. I am Beastman from Sweden. There
you are, brother. Have some more money. Thank
you. Beastman from Sweden. Detective Lance, previously
known as Bunny Cop, probably. Thank you for the
$2. Almost had a stroke at Andy's stupid take
of Ben 10. Why is this episode being kidnapped?
Another Andy one. DonkeyManUSA6364 for two bucks.
Andy looks like my dear camp buddy, Shane. I
don't know what that means. Where is Shane? He
sounds like a nice guy. Andy's a nice guy. Andy
could be a Shane. Andy could be a Shane, I think.
I could be a Shane from The Walking Dead. Wait,
no. incoming backup another classic thank you
for the 15 shekels i sent my submission in the
discord if you want to go read it it's pretty
incredible especially for a free short story
i'll go look for it sorry is this a genuine attempt
or is this like you know is it me and colin docking
or something like this we'll see in a moment
you didn't have to say that but um i need to
know potato for five Alif Anar smashed and dashed
Malik's mum, just left wearing her necklace at
the dead of night. The only witness was Colin
watching from the closet. Wow. Why would you
do that? So mean. I don't know, man. Andy will
wear a green hat in Ib for weeks. By the way,
I'm Andy. Will wear a green hat in four weeks.
YouTube just bugged out and doesn't show the
name right anymore. Happy birthday, Colin. lick
main burn. I will wear a hat in four weeks to
see you know. That'll be just before Christmas,
I believe. So I'll do it. Don't worry about it.
Zimcon for two bucks. Two words. Get up. Peak
War of Farming by Khan. Yes. Erebus deserved
that. He did. And then one by Colin Turner for
$4 .99. The Khan shit -talking Wartarian during
their fight. That is, I mean... Again, all of
Siege of Terror, the Khan is just out there being
like, can I just be the main character, please?
Like, the whole thing. Chris Wright is amazing.
I was surprised also, like, looking back, how
many, like, Chris Wright has written some really
good Space Wolves stuff as well, and he's now
heading off the first book of the Scouring. I'm
like, oh, okay. Go on, Chris. Go get him. Go
get him. He never lets us down. Do you want to
take this one, Colin? Sure. Angry homunculus
with the five pounds. Hell yeah. I just want
to let Colin know that I started singing a bit
from New Divide when he said Revenge of the Fallen.
I used to own quite a lot of Linkin Park merch
back in the day. Breaking the Habit is a good
song. Meteora. Yeah. Big Ben 10 for another five
months. Jesus. A skull Lord of heads. I see things
incorrectly. What do you want from me? There's
not a script in front of me during war crimes.
This is, this is not like a serious. I'm not
serious at my own channel. I just, you know,
I have a script so I can, you know, delete all
the bits where I go. Can't do that here. Leave
me be. I roast the colorblind wake. Thank you
for the $2. Everyone gangsta till the orcs wax
poetically. Yep. Yeah, man. True. Riri the Hawaiian.
Thank you. Evening, gents. I just finished up
Zombie Slayer and on Road of Skulls. I'm about
a quarter in and it's meh. Can I just skip ahead
to where Zombieslayer left off? Thanks. No. You
must read them all. Yeah, I mean, to be fair,
there are quite a few Warhammer books where it
is a slow burn for a few of them. If I have to
endure half a dozen Nick Kime Salamander books,
you can do one Gottrick book. No, they did. Cause
I have to know. If there's a single person who
would be forgiven for using like lexicon once,
I think it'd be you. I think you have like a
hundred books. You get like, you can use one
article. I get one, one monopoly. Get out of
jail. Get out of the time -free card. I'm like,
no. There's two guys on my channel who every
video they've asked was one guy who asked for
Vect. There's one guy who asked for Vulcan every
time I do a video. Vect, unfortunately, doesn't
have enough. The guy who asked for Vulcan, I
don't think I'm ever going to do it. I would
rather... trap my penis in, like, the door, and
then do all... You would rather dip it into Mount
Deathfire itself and singe the tin. I mean, I'm
going to buy 500 boxes of pocket stuff. I would,
you know, like how you jump into a pool, I would
jump anus -first onto a cactus before I have
to do all the Nick Kime Sutherlander books. I
just can't hurt myself. It's not fun. life's
too you have to be like you're currently being
clipped out you're currently you have to i'm
joking i am playing by the way you have to be
on this man to death please you have to have
your break glass for nick kime uh for for chris
wright and be like it's all gonna be okay these
books are so good i'm sure very lovely human
being but i just he's not He's not. I've heard
the stories. I can't speak to that. Anyway, Skirfan
for two. Eldrad versus Batman with prep time.
Who wins? Batman wins every time. Batman can't
lose. He's a wizard. The authors would rather
have Batman win than Eldrad. Have you considered,
but can he beat Goku? Can Eldrad beat Goku, Colin?
No. Oh yeah, that was said by the way. I don't
care if someone's power has beat Goku. That man
ain't beating Goku. Hey, Zenon. I just got home
to hear orc women are the most seen. Wow. Well,
comparatively. Thanks. Good to see you, Zenon.
No, you go ahead. I've done that. Is that a character
from One Piece? Yeah, that's... Oh, my God. I
don't know. It's been a minute since I've...
I think it's Robin. It is One Piece. I know that.
Robin. Andy, don't feel too bad about your...
Are you still here, Andy? Andy here. Oh, he's
still... Nope. What is happening? He's doing
it on purpose. Okay, I'm going to read this note.
I'm going to read the note. Andy, don't feel
too bad about your Ben 10 take. It could be infinitely
worse. You could be the guy writing the 5YL comic.
I wonder what that is. I don't know what that
means. I don't know. I'm not informed. Does this
have something to do with Ben 10? I'm assuming.
My knowledge is the Meat Canyon animation with
the guy who's like, I'm your uncle, Ben! I'm
your uncle! And I'm like, yeah. You could be
season three of One Punch Man. It's a fan -based
system. No, hell no. New Zealand. Anything Lotara
does is aura farming. She's an amazing character.
Also, lawcrime. Hashtag docking stream. It depends.
Lotara does have that bit where she shoots a
worldy through in the head with a lasbis or just
to annoy him because it bounces off. That's pretty
cool. She tells him he's an idiot as well. You're
a stupid head. Alpharius3292 for five bucks.
The Krieg soldier with the crack grenades attached
to the nukes in the book Krieg. I have not yet
read that. That's a very Krieg thing to do. Last
one. I think this is Colin written all over.
One, Seth is sleepy. Thank you for the five bucks.
With the Dunmer drinking the Oblivion Gate coffee
cup. That's great. As a comic and Dragon Ball
fan, that Goku and Batman comic gave me PTSD.
Look, Goku wins. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Just
has the ability to do anything, that man. And
just yell really well. Isn't it a woman? Yeah,
the Japanese voice actor for Goku is a woman.
And the one from Naruto is an actress as well.
In Japan, at least, I think she voices all of
Goku's family. Maybe not Chi -Chi, but... I know
there's a lady who voiced Naruto. There's a Japanese
lady who does it for the Japanese one, and then
there's a lady who does it for the English as
well. Believe it. Let's believe it. Damn. So
we had another one here, which was by Ben H,
and he says, not sure it counts, but Perturabo
smashing Fulcrum's head into the Warhound Titan
and telling him, I'm sick of your nonsense. We're
doing this my way now. Get out of here. Always
appreciate. that people don't suffer falls gladly
okay can i please explain this one because i
uh there's a few times where for uh perserabo
just immediately switches up there's one where
he did invite fulgrim to his ship because they're
working together to get this get this weapon
called angel exterminatus and There's been a
few Iron Warriors lured over to the Emperor's
children. They've been dallying in a few things
they shouldn't have. Fulgrim has been playing
it badly. They get attacked by some shattered
legions in the ship called the Sisyphium or something
like that. Sisyphium or something. The Sisyphium
is the shattered legion ship. Yeah, they get
attacked by them. And they then lose one of their
own ships. So they're going into like, you know,
near the territory. And at one point, Pearl Tribe
is just sick of it because Fulcrum is, you know,
corrupted by chaos. And then he's just playing
along. He's just, you know, he's more obsessed
with. and, you know, enjoying lavish lifestyle
things. So he invites Fulgrim over to his ship
and he says to him, you know, we can work together.
And Fulgrim's like, yes, yes, yes, whatever.
And then Perturabo says to Fulgrim, could you
have a look at this thing on my workbench? Have
a little look. And he goes, all right, fine.
Grabs the back of Fulgrim's head and proceeds
to bean it. Like at least 20 times into like
the desk, I think, and then it hits him, you
know, like sort of smashing him with his. It's
that. Forge break, is it? That first time you
see a big daddy in Bioshock and it's just pummeling
it into the glass until it breaks through. And
you're like, that's a big dad. He's like, oh,
no. Yeah. And then this entire book. The reason
why this is so good is because this is literally
I have mental issues. The other Viltrumites don't
talk to me. They are afraid of me. I am so lonely.
Is this an Invincible quote? I'm too season one
to understand. I haven't seen new Invincible
either. It is. It is literally Percival Roberts
whispering in his ear being like, you will do
what I tell you to do because I say it and you're
shit at this. And to be fair to Peter, he's been
very restrained for the first bit of the book.
I don't know how to feel about that. I'm like,
I'm going to do it. And he's like, okay, okay,
okay. You've got your credentials from Istvan.
You've got your credentials with the Warmaster.
Okay, okay, okay. And then eventually he's like,
enough. And then it changes. The Fulgrim transformation
in that book is pretty aura farming. It's pretty
cool. Especially when they literally... achieves
apotheosis and goes, I'm a snake. There's thousands
of soul gems floating around him and all that
cool stuff. And Eidolon stabs him and inserts
soul gems into his body. Yeah, that part's gross.
It gets pretty cool. It's a pretty cool scene.
And then Nykona, Sherekin, war farms for the
entire Horus heresy. Nykona literally like, I
headshot at a Primark. And then I win. And then
I win again. And then I win again. And I can
teleport. I survived the Sisyphean crew, and
I'm the only one left, and I'm in a stasis pod,
and no one knows where I am. I got people in
my comments. To be fair, Eli, the Raven Guard
need a win. They haven't had a win in ages. I
know. I had people in my comments malding and
seething and trying to defend him when I called
him a Mary Sue character, but he totally is.
Kayvon Shrike got cucked by his own first captain,
and now he's... He's not a chapter master anymore.
He's like, what's going on? What's going on?
We do have another one. We have another one by
Voldasterion who says, my favorite moment is
in Prince of Crows when Savitar meets with the
remaining Cryptera and one of them calls him
mad. And he replies, no, I feel fine before walking
around the room. a bit and saying more stuff,
then dipping and then teleporting in his Terminators
to kill them. He's just casually standing over
the guy who gets out and he's like, yeah, I did
kill them because they were idiots. I feel like
I can explain this one quite well because I've
literally just done a Savitar video. You've just
done a Savitar video, yeah. They've just been
ambushed by the Dark Angels. They don't really
know that the Lions have got a new piece of fancy
tech, so they keep ambushing them around the
Thramas sector. They keep losing, and they've
had a really bad battle. Lots of the Cryptera,
which are like Kurz's inner circle. A few of
them are dead. The last few of them are meeting
up. Savitar walks in. And they're always like,
we need to go attack the Dark Angels again. We
need to get revenge. And Savitar just basically
tells them, what do you mean? Are you saying
we need to get revenge for some, I think his
quote is, some imaginary stain on our imaginary
honor? You know what I mean? Because we're not,
we're Night Lords. What do you mean? We don't
do things honorably. And he realizes like basically
the three guys in the room are idiots. So he
leaves his chain. He says to them. Please don't
make me kill you. My chain glaive is like all
the way on the other side of the room. And then
he just ends up leaving the room. One of the
guys is like, he's left his chain glaive in here.
He runs out the room. They teleport. Savitar
teleports his Atramentar, Terminators in. They
kill the rest of the Cryptera. One guy, Vajahal,
I think his name, Vajahal or something. He managed
to escape the room, but then Savitar just catches
him. And then he says to Servitar, like, why
the hell did you kill them? Did you kill them
just because they disagreed with you? He went,
yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, Corse, when
I was in your videos, Corse was just like, ah,
hello, pig fucker. Like, whoa. Yeah. Dark angels,
where's your chill? Where's your chill, bro?
I do have incoming backups, one that he requested
us to read in his donation, if we want to do
that. He says it's from most recent Aura Farming
moment from a free AOS short story. I don't know
who's speaking, but you dot, dot, dot, you dot,
dot, dot. The knowledge of impending doom seems
too much for the Demon Prince. So deep ran its
outrage that it could muster no incantation.
It could only spit word fire out of its beak,
eyes whirling. You are marked, beasts. The choirs
and covens of the scintillating gyre beyond this
world will know of the insults you have leveled
upon us. Primitive creatures spawn of the twin
-headed brute, lump and fist striking the cosmos.
Know that you have earned my ire. Know that you
have earned the ire of gods. I don't know who
says this. Oh, mate, I fought gods. Gordak snorted.
You ain't it. There's no he says you ain't it.
You ain't it, boy. And then he said, and then
Sigma said, lick my balls. This is a guy fighting
a demon prince, and the demon prince says all
that, and then this guy hits him with that. It
is cool. I will say that with, again, thank you
everyone who has given a lot of suggestions.
I think we might be cool to finish up on a round
of if every one of the guys here wants to do
one or the last few that they can think of. Again,
thank you everyone who did do the... Unless,
Andy, you can see any more from the Discord?
Can I read one that I've spotted? Yeah, go for
it. So this one's from Saltmetal. One of my favourite
Orma farming moments is from the Fabius Bile
Primogenitor. It's been quite a while since I've
read the book, so I get any details wrong, so
I apologise. Fabius turns to Galefield off of
a demon... basically off of his ship. A demon
manifests in front of him. The demon tries to
attempt Fabius into pledging himself to the gods
of chaos. Fabius responds with... Gods are weak.
I'm not weak. Then bonks it into the warp. That's
a fabulous moment. He's like, I got killed. No
problem. He does have the demon taser. I'm just
going to hit you on my needler. LOL. He's a cheeky
boy. It's a very memorable moment of that book.
Eli, was there any particular horrifying moment
you want to last share with the group? For my
beautiful boy, Lucius the Eternal. Whatever.
He has multiple cool moments in his 40k book.
Oh my gosh. He has multiple moments in his 40k
book. The first one when he kills the world leader
guy, but the second one... And Chrysitheus, one
of the Palatine Blades, so one of the best horsemen
in the Emperor's Children, a .k .a. one of the
best horsemen in all the Space Marines, he goes
up to him and he tells Lucius how he's going
to kill him. He says, I shall take your arms.
I shall take your legs. I shall take your tongue.
The Apothecary will see reason. He will fall
in line and aid me in keeping you alive just
enough to keep the poison that passes through
your blood beating through your veins. I will
reduce you to a husk, watching the centuries
pass by alone in silence. Until the only soul
at hand who can sign you to oblivion is your
own. And when that night falls, oblivion is where
you shall stay. That's what Chrysitheus says
to Lucius. Which is cool. Which is cool. And
then they have a little duel. And Chrysitheus
pulls up. Let me see if I can find the... Oh,
yeah, here we go. Okay, so he throws a blind
grenade. at lucius first to start because he
knows that lucius is just too goaded to fight
fair against um but he does it yeah chrysithius
flew into the dissipating the detonation of the
blind grenade he took aim precisely for the soft
joint between lucius's cuirass and the shoulder
guard the point of his blade would shear through
the soft fiber bundle musculature and carve into
flesh and bone severing lucius's sword arm clear
from his body follow -up strikes to the right
arm Ennis would finish the business of disabling
him. The angle of the blade was exact. Chrysitheus
funneled his energy into the speed of the attack,
making it a pre -turned natural blur, nearly
impossible to track. It was truly a perfect strike,
except Lucius wasn't there. Agenion's blade,
which is Chrysitheus' blade, cut only the thin
smoke coiling through the air of the corridor,
continuing to fly unhearingly forwards along
with the rest of Chrysitheus' sword arm. It's
an anime moment. Lucius had seen his attack coming,
and rather than parrying or dodging it, he had
chosen to show his brother just how effective
the cut would have been by executing it himself
flawlessly. Lucius then goes on, blah, blah,
blah, to say, I rather liked the idea you had
for me, my dear brother, since it doesn't seem
that you'll be needing it. Do you mind if I can
borrow it? And then he cuts his arms off and
his tongue and then humiliates him, and it's
awful, and it's awesome. Lucius is like, you
know. Can I be a cheeky bitch? Always. I'd like
to proper two cool moments. One's very brief.
One's kind of not as brief. It's still brief,
but it's not as brief. So I've been doing my
research for Devastation of Baal. There's one
where the flesh terrors are fighting on this
chaos -infested world. And they have a custom
of... And sometimes the people who are native
to, I think it's Cretacea, which is the flesh
terror's home world, cut out their tongues so
that they can't spill secrets. And there's a
bit where Seth and his men and Apollos, High
Chapel and Apollos, et cetera, are like, oh,
we've done this deployment and one of these captains
is going to attack. And the captain is flawless.
He's doing his job. He's doing it great. And
then Seth was like, oh, no, Baal's under attack.
We have to withdraw all our men without haste
and we can't recover these men. And the captain's
like, sir, we've taken the artillery positions.
Like we've got to go die. Well, without a moment's
hesitation, he's like affirmative. I'm going
to go out being a cheeky boy. And so his last
thing is he tells his man like, Hey, cause as
much havoc as you can. And then it gives them
his stuff. And then it cuts out his own tongue
and then starts like red first black raging against
the chaos. I thought that was cool of like, Not
a hesitation in him. Not a moment of like, why
are you abandoning me? He's like, understandable.
Have a good day. That's how the flesh terrors
do. The other one I wanted to mention is a bit
out of left field for me. I want to talk about
Age of Sigmar. Oh my god. It's a new era. What's
happening? So basically I saw the... hamilcar
bear eater animation on warhammer tv and it's
all like there's a big orc encampment it's going
to destroy this entire city and so the sigma
rights are like oh we'll just evacuate the populace
blah blah and then hamilcar who's basically me
it's just like don't worry about that it's me
i'm hamilcar they're like who call back to the
beginning of the episode guy in the galaxy. And
it's all like, he just kind of walks in. It's
like, oh, no, no, no, my good man. Take me to
your leader. And he's all like, oh, by the way,
I will duel one of your champions, and if I lose,
you can take the city. He gets curb stomped.
He's like, okay, okay, I yield, I yield. But
if you win again, I'll give you all this and
all that. And then eventually he gets a point.
He's like, oh, um... Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Don't kill me. Don't kill me.
If you beat me this time, I'll let you become
Stormcast. And I'll teach you the secrets to
being a Stormcast. And then you, Mr. Orc Man,
can reforge your own units. And you can dominate
everyone. And the Orc Warboss is like, oh, actually,
that's quite good. And he's been just like, this
guy's an idiot. This guy's a fool. That's why
I very much am like, that's me. It's me. um and
then it's like okay stupid ass i've seen you
getting beaten by three of my minions you're
no match for me um and they have a fight and
then hammer car is literally like hey sigma i
know you're watching do you really want me to
give up the secrets to reforging and then there's
like a thunder cracker of like you silly goober
and you're like thought so and then he just harnesses
lightning and he kills the orc war boss and he's
like great i'm in charge of the of the orc horde
now and he sits on the phone he's like this isn't
really my style by the way um i'll teach i'll
do your deal i don't really want to rule you
guys but if you sorted out amongst yourselves
whoever survives i'll teach you how to do soulforging,
and then you can be the next warboss. And so
the orcs kill themselves, and the stormcasts
don't have to do anything, and then even though
he's bludgeoned and bruised all over his face,
he's got a big bulging eye, he just has an apple
under a tree with his griffon. That's aura farming.
Never underestimate the jester. Not quite Lucas
the Trickster. I love a bear eater. That's fun
times. His novel is good too. I like that one.
I'll pick one. Colin can round out. I'm really,
I might be a greedy bitch as well. I Andy. So
there's two. I really, I've mentioned one kind
of not long ago in an episode, which was the,
they're both seizure terror ones. Of course they
are. Cause I'm obsessed with that series. It
is the saturnine or not the saturnine gambit
itself. even though that is cool. It is Mr. Cadwalder's
death. It is the son of Dawn who, at the Eternity
spaceport, he stands on a bridge with a few of
the other Imperial fists, and he just says, I
ain't moving. And then the world, he just starts
streaming towards him and cultists. He kills,
he slices. It goes on for quite, like, a long
scene where he ends up just, like, he kills and
his... he's so badly wounded but he's not taken
a single step and the whole scene keeps building
where it just says he slashes he kills he fights
in dawn's name he and then he like he bludgeons
he shoves a grenade down someone's throat in
dawn's name he like he he takes a blade you know
through his primary heart but he stands up and
rams another one into the other one guy in his
lord's name and the scene keeps building and
building and building and he basically ends up
dying on his feet He died standing up, but he
never took one single step back and he killed
like at least 13 or 14 world eaters, obviously
empowered by corn at the time. Cause he's just
that good, you know, good old Dawn's sons. The,
I do think this might be other than the web way
one wall from earlier when everyone is it's ending
the death of volume two, when. when the word
bearers are running, they're running away because
they're scared and they're running away from
what they think is the dark king. And they're
like, basically everyone in this like weird,
like clash together realm of like terror, the
warp and the vengeful spirit. There's like this,
there's this radiating energy of like, it is
utterly terrifying to be near. Turns out it's
the emperor. uh just because he keeps sucking
in more and more war power to the point in which
the word bearers go that's more scary than the
dark gods and so they end up just like everyone
who goes near him is like running away whilst
he just like breaks the entire realm uh pretty
terrifying even sigismund and calm when they
have that exchange khan is all like oh i used
to know sigismund as this valiant warrior and
now he's just like a void this is he's just like
He doesn't have values. He doesn't have like,
he's just like, he's just, he's just a vacuum
of all emotion. And that terrifies Khan during
the siege of terror. It was just like, is this
what we'll be fighting in the future? These Templars
who are just like, I think Eli mentioned that
one earlier as well. I think, did Eli mention
that one as well? I think my siege terror just
has like all of the best. I think as a series.
The Sea of Terror series might be the best, like,
I guess, quote -unquote series of, like, books.
Because there's only a few of them that are,
like, mid. None of them are bad. But, like, that's
a pretty... And then, I guess, to be fair, it
would torture Eli and Colin if they had to read
it. But it is pretty important, though. It has
some of the coolest stuff in Warhammer, though.
It is, like... Because they just go crazy. And
it's, like, it is, like, a one really long episode
of, you know, Helm's Deep. essentially, so I
enjoy it. Colin, round us out, maybe. What have
you got? You see, framing this one as aura farming
might need some work. However, it is in the same
vein as Cato Sicarius, you know, planting his
foot through a towel water chest. Yes. This is
Malekith. He's not the true Phoenix King, you
shitty lie. True Phoenix King. He is very cool.
He is Dark Elf Darth Vader. And it was, this
is a very short and simple. The nice way to put
this is that Malekith was fighting an evil sorceress
and came out on top. You know, let's say he's
evil, but he's fighting someone even eviler.
So that's a win. The, you know, and he's Malekith.
His armor helps him against sorceress attacks.
He's his own quite powerful wizard as well. He
is the Witch King, not of Angmar, of Naggaroth.
Quite the powerful foe, and he bested another
ancient powerful foe, this sorceress who has
lived since the dawn of the elves' history. To
put this in perhaps the less aura -farming context,
he looked at his mother, said, I learned this
from my father, and then backhanded her. Wow.
Wow. That is crazy. I didn't know we were ending
with a domestic. That's crazy. Shout out to Malek.
Wow. Colin needs a new symbol in our Discord
for whatever that is. Hashtag domestic. Domestic
violence symbol. Oh my gosh. Wow. Any last donations,
Andy? There are. Tom Warren, 558045. That road
of skulls reminds me of the Serpent Queen, which
in turn reminds me of the favorite son of heaven,
Antar. His aura farming deserves mention. Who
am Antar? I don't think I know this one. Is that
an elf? All right. I'm unsure. Let me double
check. Oh, dude, no, never mind. Antar. Oh, I
love that guy. I like how the minute the light
hit your face, it was like you were instantly
elucidated. He's this super bombastic tomb king
who spends a lot of time talking about the shapeliness
of his concubine's bones. They don't have skin
anymore. I gotta be honest. I thought you were
going to say the shapeliness of his cock. He's
great. He spends the entire book being just like
braggadocious, fun little goober. But he is a
tomb king. Even as a skeleton, he's like seven
feet tall. So he's doing good work. Even though
I don't got any skin in the game. I still got
the bone. He doesn't have meat, but he's still
laying pipe. Wow. Monkey Man USA for five bucks.
Piccolo, my goat, will aura farm before getting
stomped by the Big Bang. But he looks cooler
than anyone before he gets his SP. And he's orange
now. Yeah, poor Piccolo. He's orange now. Thank
you for the five. Eli, did I dream this, or is
there a book where, as Kalon... tackles lucius
into the ocean off a platform i don't know it
doesn't ring a bell personally but i haven't
read every single lucius book ever he's the sanguinary
god in the horus yeah no it's like i'm trying
to think what he he's no i don't think he has
he met he hasn't done anything generally speaking
blood angels have no law in horus heresy to the
point where they're from she's terrible ron won't
even say that but like i'm like what does ralderon
do he chucks a night lord off a wall That's all
he does. He's in several books, and he does nothing
apart from, I'm here. I'm trying to think. He
does quite a lot, I'm realizing. I'm thinking
of the Imperial Fisk get loads of love, though.
They should. Spooky kabuki. It's always a great
name. Always a great name. For five bucks. Keep
up the good work, gentlemen. The fact that this
is good work is terrifying. Red said my Nostromo
accent was terrible, by the way. It broke my
heart. It made me cry. Thank you very much, Red,
for the $20. We always appreciate it. Thank you,
man. I did not mention that. Wasn't he strapped
to the front of it, if I remember correctly?
Wasn't that, there's a whole thing of like, it's
so big that it's a very menacing. And there's
like a whole thing of like, I remember those
books. They talk about the Imperial starship.
They're like, Oh, this void craft, like the construction
of the tip is made of like the bones of the deceased.
And I was like, something about that book struck
me. It was just like, Oh, they're like, we're
interring the bones of our dead, which are thousands
of years old into the prow of this ship. And
we're going to blow it up anyways. And then they're
being chased for a while. being chased and they're
like oh from the perspective of the xenos the
imperium is horrifying because like wait these
barbarians strap bones to their prows and they're
like really old and they're like oh this isn't
this doesn't make sense for like construction
of a boy a boy ship but they're like ah screw
it we're the imperium it's like oh that's bad
Red says he wasn't standing on top of it. I'm
trying to remember the scene because I know this
is around when he goes through reanimation. I
can only vaguely remember it. That's a good book.
Freaking Summon the Monoliths. That's the aura.
This is the aura moment of all. Summon the Monoliths.
I don't know what this means. Necrons have aura
in general. They have Hekka. Hekka is literally
aura, bro. It's Hekka good. Remember the seven
months. Thank you, man. Andy would love watching
Umasume. Umasume. Is that an anime? It's the
stupid horse racing thing. Don't watch it. Don't
watch it. Oh, no, I wouldn't. No, I'm not a horse.
I'm not into horses. I didn't believe you. One
set fist sleepy. Five. I won't jump into power
scaling stuff since it ruined many character
discussion, but if Aura Farming has a power level,
Piccolo would have the highest. Again, real,
real. He's Piccolo. And the last one from Big
Ben for two. The one who started it all. Colin,
join this one. Of course, of course. Big Ben
0 -1 -0 with the two. Photon, Sun Eaterships,
Pure Aura. He's correct. Thank you. I had to
say the full thing again. I wanted to really
put the stank on it. Really crank it out. I think
though, again, hopefully everyone has enjoyed
this episode of farming moments. We've chucked
in a few ourselves and as always, please do join
the discord. If you want to see the unedited
live stream versions where it's got our faces
on it, but for all the people who enjoyed the
video. Again, like, subscribe. We do have Spotify,
all that good stuff. And hopefully we'll catch
you guys on some regular pods and tier lists
and all of our listen, don't judge, all that
good stuff. And bear in mind that next week we
will not be here because I'm away and Hal's away.
I would like to say that we are launching a new
series of videos, a brand new series next week.
And it's done. It's ready to go. So keep an eye
out next week. It's not the docking one. It's
chaotic. I'm sorry. It's not that. It's not that.
No, never. No one would pay to see that. We'd
be paid not to do that. Yeah. I hope you guys
all enjoyed, though. And we'll see you guys in
the next one. Peace. Bye -bye. Love you.