folks it's law crimes and we are always on time
and we are never late hello everybody can i uh
before we make the introduction shout out to
like the 40 people who've accused me of like
gooning the entire time i did well i mean i didn't
know what you were doing while i held up this
podcast so oh it was but it's fine like because
it's it's the fact that we stopped we're fine
We can't see Hal's hands, all I'm saying. But
yeah, hello everybody. Welcome back to Law Crimes.
And we've got a special guest today. Who's this?
It's a man. Who are you? Why are you? Some would
say a man. Some would say someone who had an
internet technician exactly when this stream
was supposed to start and held you all up about,
oh, I don't know, 31 minutes. um some would say
many things of that nature but uh i'm very happy
to be here as well it's uh it's good to as i've
met the gang piecemeal over the course of the
last couple of months it's nice to have everyone
in one room again we're all here it wouldn't
be a law crime stream without yeah i had to show
up to one of my phone because the router unplugged
five minutes into the stream so is that edward
cullen team edward team edward wow shout out
to the twilight series who i have been re -watching
recently i want to do a twilight movie night
in the law crimes discord i am yearning for it
Wait, hold on. What's our swearing policy on
this? Oh, fire away. Okay, dude, that fucks,
man. We should do that. Can you invite me and
DK to that? Never mind. Never mind. I take it
back. No swearing. Get off. Today, folks, we
are doing a tier list about many different factions
of 40K, and here are the rules. We are ranking
based on the lore representation for each of
these factions. Yes, I know. There's a lot of
space. marines here but just remember they have
the lion's share of the law um thank you so they're
all dark angels is what you're trying to say
here boys yeah yeah yeah the lions show up gang
signs and stuff like that i think uh do you think
the fallen have like like crypts game sign gang
signs the dark angels have like blood gaining
signs i think the fallen whisper uncomfortably
close to your ear each time they speak i just
think they uh they fly on discomfort No, not
my boy Zabriel. There's no way. It's not possible.
He could do no wrong. We should say that we obviously,
this is, there's going to be fights in this one
because we all have differing opinions. The leagues
of Otana are in this one. There's going to be
a fight automatically. I'm ready to throw down.
Cheers, Bricky. Bricky has the, I believe Bricky
has a concoction that was. mentioned in the ad
-rec episode that Colin was on. Hold on, I have
the perfect sound effect of this, Ricky. Hold
on. I wouldn't be able to hear it. Oh, thank
you. Is that what I think it is? No, it's not.
Damn. It's just water with orange Miro in it.
That's it. He died as he lived. He just made
me laugh halfway through because I knew what
you were thinking when you said it. What I'm
thinking? Please. Hold on. Hold on. Remind me
again. Remind me of the concoction combination
again. Corona Light Fireball and Monster Energy
Zero Ultra. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Okay.
Corona Light Monster energy zero ultra and fireball
can can you please door dash me these items asap
don't ask why don't ask questions just consume
more i was halfway through this halfway through
this podcast i will be having a good time enjoy
that drink and then give it to someone you hate
Well, to be honest, I think this is probably
a record for killing Bricky in the first 10 minutes.
That was quite phenomenal. As soon as we started.
We're all in the Discord right now, apparently.
Discord is what? Check out our Discord. So let's
get this cracking. These are in number order
for the first 20 chapters or 18 of them. Let's
start off with the Dark Angels. The Angles. Morning
Angle. Well, we're just getting right into it
then, huh? No foreplay, no nothing? No foreplay,
no raw dog. I've got to be honest, Horus Heresy
doesn't have good Dark Angels content, in my
opinion. It's like, this book is a bit too far
that it's not even involved in the heresy. This
book's a bit mid. This book, oh, they're kind
of in this story in the Siege of Terror, but
it's just coarse wane. I don't think there's
a really good... horus heresy dark angels book
and outside of that you've modern 40k they're
okay i'm gonna has real stuff can i can i ask
a question before we get too deep into it so
i know andy and and um uh how yes sorry i'm pointing
i'm not sure is this direction or not yeah but
um uh are are the i've read every single book
in the world people oh yeah i'm a complete loser
yeah all right okay uh eli are you part of this
very sad club uh not for space marines uh for
the for the unfortunate xenos factions who have
bad lore i've unfortunately read most of their
books okay so so what are your thoughts on Never
mind. I wanted to make a jab at a Farsight book.
I hate Farsight books. They're garbage. Phil
Kelly, shout out Phil Kelly in my name. Phil
Kelly is the worst author. His PFD right now
in Discord is Phil Kelly. I hate the Phil Kelly
Tao books with a passion. You said before, if
you saw Phil Kelly, it's on site? It's on site.
um colin i i don't remember if we talked about
this in adric or not but are are you a 40k book
reader i don't remember if you were i i read
a few but not not really okay okay well i know
he's a fantasy guy but i wasn't sure how much
of it had like a overlap the only reason i asked
these things is because obviously i am not as
red as these two And I'm trying to figure out
who are my kindred spirits in this podcast. Colin's
read one Horus Heresy book, I think. Yes, I've
read one. And I've read probably a third of the
Horus Heresy. I don't touch Space Marine stuff
very often. I think the book's usually bad for
Space Marines. I've read a great deal of excerpts,
but only one cover to cover. gotcha okay well
because that's the thing i was curious about
because i have not read many horus heresy dark
angel books and for the most part they seem to
be the lion being an uh and then some cool course
wayne stuff and then i like if lion son of the
forest did not come out i would have put them
like an entire tier lower because i think that
book absolutely rocks yeah this is where it gets
like if we basically sum up you know really probably
not very well but in a short way dark angels
are essentially i don't know like it has a thing
where so many of the books lean into there like
we have layers of secrets upon secrets and you
know the lions my favorite part is one book where
a dark angel's talking to the dark angel doesn't
realize it's the lion somehow he doesn't realize
he's like a huge huge space marine just like
towering over him for some reason it gets a bit
convoluted in the horrors heresy books he meets
kyros fate reaver for no reason and then he bashes
off his own son's heads but then codex law and
particularly again it's not based off of art
direction or things like that but their codex
law is interesting i do like the fact of their
hunt for the fallen even though it kind of had
a makeup change but man i just i can't get i
i do love dark angels i have dark angels their
codex is so cool too like they're all their old
codex and they have probably the coolest aesthetic
i know that's not what we're talking about for
the tier list but yeah how much does art direction
art direction aesthetic factor into this absolutely
not at all otherwise would be at the top yeah
for them i can't completely separate it because
they They're no ultramarines, but I think they've
got the best aesthetic. But the thing is, though,
when you look at modern Dark Angels, they're
kind of bland. Like, War of Secrets, Prime Mars
goes, he's just wearing green with occasional
bits on him. And it's just like, oh, we've got
the green wing. They're just green guys. Like,
they lose a lot of the, like, the flowing tabards
and the winged helmets. It's more just, like,
I am a green fella. like cool i think i would
i would agree with you i i do think though that
like i kind of have to separate myself from the
here's the model that everyone would paint a
color of your chapter and i have to look at them
more as like their dedicated models and if we
do we're looking at like new asthma die inner
circle companions deathwing knights and they
look And the Deathwing itself. We have a color
scheme within our color scheme. You guys. Is
Samael still around? Is he still around? He's
still around. He's on his big ass bike. war of
secrets is dog water and it's an it's a it's
a town book in disguise probably the worst 4k
book i've ever read actually no blade of truth
that's really not true far side blade of truth
is the worst one i've ever read there's a flesh
terror book that i have not read all that don't
worry I wish receding hairline upon that author.
I've read Pandorax, that's technically Dark Angels.
Pandorax is a Dark Angels book, technically.
And they're kind of just jerks the whole time.
I've read War of Secrets, and they're kind of
just jerks the whole time. I've read Fallen Angels
and Descent of Angels, and again, they're kind
of just jerks the whole time. It's all really
mid. And then there's The Lion, and it's like,
oh, it's good! It's just way up there. Maybe
C tier? you know what but their cortex floor
yummy from my belly I'm feeling a bit of a B
myself I think I may have put them lower if it
wasn't for the lion book I think the lion book
just just like it carries it on its back a little
bit I don't know it is a redemption of their
kind of like for all the bad that has come before
it is like a nice like the whole point of that
book is redemption as well in a way in which
it's like you're maturing you're growing up the
lion's grown up literally i mean you look at
tywin lannister you know like i mean we're all
getting there like the forehead gang in this
uh call is pretty strong you know advertising
there but yeah it is a good book that one i i
know again like because unfortunately me and
andy have punished ourselves by reading A different
author for every single Dark Ages book. And the
thing is, there is that infamous short story
where Asmodai starts messing around with another
chapter and doing his fallen shenanigans. There's
the one with Balthazar, who's one of the captains.
Lazarus's book is kind of cool, where he basically
fights a moss entity. Lazarus is like, oh, I'm
on a feudal world with knights, and what's the
enemy? Moss. Sentient, evil moss. Alright, cool.
Cool. But it's also like, and then the end of
the book is a real tease. It's like, Lazarus,
we just got a message from the lion. And you're
like, oh, okay. That's where it's at. Okay, cool,
cool, cool, cool. I think we've sucked that into
the ground, that one. They should get at least
a B tier, though. Yeah, their corner store is
really cool. Yeah, their overall lore is one
of the coolest things. You know, these secretive
space marines that are actually monks. And the
Fallen are always cool. The Fallen are cool.
The Fallen are very cool. And Deathwing. And
they have a cyborg space marine. I would say
they got a whole ass Men of Iron Legion in a
storage garage somewhere. We don't need to worry
about that. Just for little cool things they
got. They got so much little cool things. I like
the Luthor book. Yeah, I'm happy with thee. We're
going to be here for a while. Yeah, we might
be. Yeah. Kill him. I'm an Eldar fan. I don't
like Eldar. So, I mean, I think we should keep
him. I think, I don't know. I think Emperor's
Children has one of the most deplorable assholes
of all time in Lucius. I love him I love Lucius
to death because I think he's just like he's
like Erebus treatment he's just a huge prick
so if he couldn't get I I don't know if Eidolon
takes that to be honest though particularly like
that guy couldn't get his tongue further into
Fulgrim Emperor's Children do we do we include
Fabius Wilde in Emperor's Children oh yeah I
think these guys are A tier at least A tier minimum
their Horus Heresy books are really good The
Fabius Bile trilogy is really good. What's his
name? What's the 40K guy who just got a book
recently? I've read his novella, but not his
next book. His book is just like, I'm really
bad as a leader. I like this. I will say, I have
not read the new Fulgrim book, because I don't
want to be disappointed, and I've heard only
horrible things about it. I've got a joke for
you, Eli. I really like the Fulgrim book, but
I don't like the Fulgrim book. Yeah, uh -huh.
I've read a lot of Warhammer books, and you're
making me feel like I've read nothing. Yeah,
because he's read 40k. I also read a lot of random
map books, but Emperor's Children, I've actually
read most of their books. Angel of Terminatus
is cool. Angel of Terminatus is really enjoyable.
Fulgrim's a nice character before he turns into
a demon, and then he's obviously a demon primarch.
They can't be Aether. Oh, sorry. no no i was
i was thinking like the only reason they're not
an s is because i think fulgrim's like layer
blade transformation is kind of stupid yeah it's
kind of crap words out of my mouth everything
and the broad strokes probably my favorite like
fall of a trader legion when you look at the
specifics it's my but my lord your your your
dick vein sword you can't go anywhere without
that That book's really good, but that plot device,
MacGuffin, you can tell they didn't think the
Horus Heresy would be more than like 10 books
max when they wrote that. The next one, I'm gonna,
I'm going to yell at you, Colin. If you say F
tier, I'm going to yell at you. Oh, we're going
in Legion or I just realized that. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. So Iron Warriors next. Oh, I like the Iron
Warriors. I hate their dad. His book, his omnibus,
I'm so good. I love it. That alone, I'm like...
I'm not an Iron Warriors expert. I'm not Pearl
Travel's top guy, unfortunately. I remember reading
the Pearl Travel book, and I remember being like,
God, this dude's great. I like the Pearl Travel
book, but that was like five or six years ago
when I read it, so I barely remember it. But
I remember liking it as a kid. These guys are
the epitome of anus. They are. I need more. Epitome
of anus. Listen, you know, Perturabo's brows
are so big he could smoke a cigarette in the
rain. Okay, this guy is... He's clearly wrong
with his Primarch, but overall, Iron Warrior
lore is genuinely like... There's no letdown.
There's no terrible book or anything. I like
the Legion's lore. I just hate their dad. You
say that, there's a really cool short story that
you can only get in the special edition of the
Honsu book. Of course, Andy's written it. Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You got a serial
number? As far as I'm aware, it's the only modern
Perturabo lore where Honsu goes back to Medringard
and basically plays regicide with him and they
have a chat. It's really good. But you can't
get it anywhere other than the special edition
of this book, which is stupid. Put it on. Put
it on Audible. Well, I found a copy. Put it on
Audible or put it on Kindle and we're happy.
But it's like, no, it's only in this special
edition limited version of this. GW, why? Why
would you do that? I'll say, if people get the
pleasure to get far enough into the horror's
heresy to start Siege of Terror, the Iron Warriors
are the best parts of the Siege of Terror novels
generally. They are just... They're just nuts
because there's parts where they have their inner
rivalry between the three, the Trident characters,
like the main leaders of the Legion, who basically
they're always like, how do I backstab this motherfucker?
And there's parts where like, I'll talk about
one crazy scene, which is the Iron Warriors are
assaulting one of the Lionsgate spaceport. It's
a big part of the book, but essentially... They
are disguising themselves in cultists by literally
covering themselves in gore and in a cataphractic
Terminator play, like marching through. And they
break in, like literally, they tunnel under like
a mountain of corpses to get in. And they're
stuck inside, like a group of them. And they
just keep fighting. They don't give up the entire
time. And a hundred of them come out. And it
finishes with the whole point of like... this
is what it means to be iron within, iron without.
The ones who survive are truly the strongest.
The iron warriors have a cool mindset. I do have
to follow it up that I do think they're good
pieces of lore, and they did the iron warriors
well enough, but my favorite of the heresy is
still Talarn and Barabas Dantioch, and not Barabas
for the reason because he's cool. I like Talarn
because it's when Perturabo learned that a Lehman
Russ cannon doesn't care if you're a space marine.
You're just going to die. I like Barabas Dantiac
because the book ends with, hey, dickhead, something
out there is real hungry and it's your fault
for getting its attention. Isn't that theoretical?
No, isn't that the passage of one of the last
pages of the book? something's eyes for a second
just saw light and it moved? I don't remember.
Andy, please tell me I'm not either making this
up or I read something. Despite the branding,
I do not remember that specific passage. I'd
have to check. I think you're correct on that
being a passage, but I thought that's like...
it's not quite enough confirmation for like is
this the tiered reason type deal you know That
would be pretty cool if it was. I think that
is. Yeah, because it goes to in the size of the
Emperor books, it's like they are the guardians
of where the sofa device was on Sofa. The Pharos
device, you say. And that's where they're like,
oh shit, these guys. It's not Talon, the book.
I was getting confused. It's Pharos, the book.
No, those are two different things. That's why
I was like, oh, Pharos. Can I please get to the
top of A, please? happy with it. I don't think
they could. I feel like Emperor's Children were
better, but I haven't read all of Iron Warden's
books, so I can't really argue that much. Let
me convince you, Ricky, alright? There's a passage
in one of the short stories with the Honsu omnibus,
where he's they're invading Kalf, and he's got
a friend of his who was there since the days
of the Great Crusade, but he's like, oh, I don't
want to be an officer. And they have a discussion
about how cool their entrenching tools are that
they use to dig trenches, and there's a bit where
Honsu enjoys getting back in the mud and digging
a trench, and I'm like... I kind of like that.
It's just like, I'm an Iron Warrior. I'm a warsmith.
Look at me. I'm the big cheese. But I also just
enjoy what I'm built for, which is digging a
hole. And there's a bit where he gets hit by
a shell and the other guy drags him out. And
he's like, you're worthless, but you're not that
worthless. And he drags him out of the mud. I'm
like, I like this. It's well written. I don't
think you're wrong on that. However, when I'm
thinking about the Iron Warriors' best characters,
I think Hanzo, Dantioch. And my well dries up
quick. And then I think about Lucius, Fabius,
Tarvitz, you know, Eidolon. And I'm kind of like,
ah, you know, pink. I'm just saying, I'm not
seeing a Lucius omnibus. I'm not seeing an Eidolon
omnibus. He's got a book. He's got a book. He's
got a book. And bear in mind, bear in mind, it's
enjoyable. Wait, Hans has got three books and
he's in like half the Uriel Ventress books and
he has short stories. Who is model? Who is model?
I can't even do this. I can't even do this. I'll
have a model and I'm there. I was about to say,
I wouldn't be angry about the model thing, but
we can't judge it by that because it's a lot
of things. I know. It doesn't matter. One's a
93, one's a 94. Who cares? Maybe it's right.
Maybe put our worries below. All right. Just
put one below. I need to bring it here all the
time. Hal never listens to me. I need to quickly
mention something. We have so many donors to
get through. Thank you. Thank you very much,
Chad. Also, you misspelled my name in your description,
by the way. I'm bricky, but with a K in front
of a C. Wow. Huge. I'm just going to point that
one out there for you. We'll fix it in post.
We're going to fix it in post. We're going to
fix it in post. So what I'm going to do is, because
we've got like 40, I'll do 10, Hal does 10, Eli
does 10, Colin does 10. Bless you all. And if
there's any specifically for Bricky to read,
I'll say, Bricky, can you read this one? All
right? I think that's the fairest way to do this.
So let's start off. Yeah? Never mind. This one's
going to him. Never mind. I'm very interested
on where this is going to go. I'm just aware
that we're a bit running late and also there's
so many. Thank you all. We don't want to keep
you going too long. So first one from Fugless
El Bosso. The Carcaridons are just the space
wolves of the successor chapters. GW to swap
wolves for a shark shtick. It's ridiculous. Audible
wink. Kind of true. Audible wink. The Carcaridons
get no hate. Surely if it's an audible wink it'd
be like a... It'd be like a slimy sound. Well,
it depends on how loud the mic is. Moving on.
DonkeymanUSA for five. Stream late due to Hal
gooning to his reflection in Bricky's doorhead.
Doorhead? Wow. Yeah, you open it up and you see
the hamster running the wheel a little bit there.
We got one for you, Bricky. This guy comments
that every time. Oh, boy. uh was this a high
brick united colin wore a somewhat green hat
yeah he changes every week This is fantastic.
I love this. Highbrick asked you to join the
haterversary. I taught DK the concept of toe
tongues last time. What the hell? But it'd be
boring to be horrid to the same way. So instead,
give me a weekly YouTube streamer as a hat target.
Happy birthday, Colin. What does that mean? It's
Colin's birthday. It's every week. They're going
to bother to wear a green hat because I'm not
the first. Oh, so I got to pick one of these
folks? I'd wear a green hat for your chat. I
want Andy to wear a green hat because I want
it to mesh with his goddamn Hugh Hefner robe.
Andy would get a very stylish green hat. He's
wearing nothing underneath it. I will say, Brickme,
once we had a problem where for a few weeks our
previous software would cut out and I couldn't
speak, so I just would leave and then come back
in a completely different outfit every few minutes.
Also, folks, we haven't done a gaming stream
but it's also our third year anniversary i think
this week so hey happy third year anniversary
he meant hatterversary not haterversary DonkeymanUSA,
Corona Fireball Zero Ultra got me transmigrating
across the outer darkness. Yes, it does. Shalaxy's
biggest droopy gripper. I can stand how's awful
takes no longer. Bro is mad. Hold on. I noticed
they also were calling wearing a hat in that.
Yeah, there's a lot of that. Very important.
Well, to give you an idea, Bricky, there was
like weeks where this particular viewer was like,
Colin will wear a hat. at in nine weeks he didn't
even he didn't even show up and stream with a
green hat it was unbelievable i don't own one
that's actually screwed up colin like i would
have bought a green hat for that yeah no um the
weekends are for my drink not for hats dj beast
member for 11 months bricky versus colin jorking
it down diabetic style wow yeah type two Zeron,
hello. Hello, Glenn. Ricky! Ave, Dominus Nox,
can we get a steel pipe clang? Hold on. You have
that on lock. I was ready. I saw it. You beat
me to it. I was like, I didn't press that. Morafi's
designated toilet for five. Cranking my hog to
doomed old man robot Yowie. Also, happy girth
day, Colin. You were great and you came now.
I see it spreading. Colin wore a hat somewhat.
I literally cannot read. Same guy, same guy,
yeah. Colin wore a somewhat green hat 10 weeks
ago. First thing Colin safe on Adric was elk
and depressed. All right, look, the depression
is not a thing. I just have a very monotone voice.
Alcoholism, don't worry about it. Damn, he's
depressed. The Dank Apostle. Hi, guys. Can't
stay. Just wanted to say, please limit Bricky
from googling too much over the night. And remember,
be positive. We'll get there in about five more
legions. This guy's name. I struggle every time.
Oh, this is so easy. This is Boragymus Rumblesnort.
Yeah, thank you. I want to fly away on a quest
that Colin... me to the other side of the galaxy.
I know Eli find my destiny in outer space in
1993. I had a stroke. Yeah, probably. Again,
Colin wore a hat somewhat 10 weeks ago. I asked
Sinesh for pleasure beyond mortal comprehension,
and I now experience 37 climist... Climax? Climax?
What? Every time the last gun is fired, for the
love of God. I'd like to apologize to, I mean,
I guess everyone here, but specifically the other
three Lore Crimes co -hosts for me immediately
corrupting this podcast. Stream late to Hal showing
Bricky his new Skavenusi folder. That's actually
kind of screwed up there, Yurjo. It's called
the skvussi. Let's make sure we learn how to
abbreviate properly. We're going to have to get
the encyclopedia's pronunciation guide out again.
The Gooning Encyclopedia. New member, Chaotic
Gnome. Thank you, Chaotic Gnome. Hey man, thanks.
Want to see more Hal, and then we'll move over
to Colin. Something, something, forehead, man,
pancreas, man. It's getting worse. Who knows?
Do you want to read the next few? Sure, sure.
DonkeyManUSA with the five, or thank you, about
to put the great horned OmniSci in the jar if
you don't stop delaying the stream. Howdy, fellas.
You have a habit of forgetting them, so here's
a friendly reminder. The Leagues of Otan exist.
Cheers, boys. Let the rage commence. Hal has
that habit, not me. I couldn't tell you what
this one is. Dr. Bricktoffin of Call of Duty
Zombies fame. Any thoughts on the new lad, Dalkian
Rasak? He's the new Night Lords novel that's
come out. He had a short story with the edgy
fart on the front. I have yet to read it yet.
The Sin Taker. Yeah, well, yeah. That's like
calling a Necron the immortal. His name is Paul
in the drama. I'm more aiming to read the Necron
book first because I... Necron books... The Necron
books miss less or never compared to marine books.
That's right. Glory to the dynasties. And he
sent the Necrolords in the short story that I
talked about with you like months ago. I did
a video on him, but he's a new guy. they basically
were like hey you're a new author do a short
and then people like to say you can have a book
now so it is the same character i think so remember
what our conversation is it's the same guy from
the short story okay just saying the best map
by the way is origins for zombies uh everyone
disagrees no colin colin you can sit in a fire
hydrant and you know what to do next make it
disappear man with the two euros this is the
longest house ever goon yeah he does that yes
I'm worn with the Fiverr stream late due to how
cooning in the lost city of Nakotis, thus disrupting
the normal flow of time. Are we still in the
pre -stream? Yes! Is this all pre -stream? Very
nice. You guys are very generous. Colin wore
a somewhat green hat 10 weeks ago. You guys are
so late. People started searching for me. I'm
eating a whole box of pastries to flex on Colin.
You thick -brained Neanderthals. I can eat whatever
I want. I have type 1. Your parents were siblings.
My buddy also has type 1? in my house. So there's
insulin in my fridge. I could get really jacked
if I fell. Wow. No, he will die. No, he won't.
Not quickly. Not if I take it right. He will
be quickly. Insulin is good. No, no, no. Or instant
gains. That's true. You see, you see more insulin
taken and dying early is less time being small.
Yeah, exactly. Excellent. Anyway, we will. And
we'll possibly have an event version with the
10 year old. Okay, losers. It's time. Host of
Lore Crimes and Brick. All of you get your tape
measures. I know all of you have them in arm's
reach. Trying to find out who has the biggest
forehead in the Brick Day community. I did get
measured for a costume I ordered and I was told
by the person who did it I have the biggest head
she's ever seen. it's you know it's a family
friend of like 15 years but also i didn't need
to know that man it's still hard so so when you
say just the tip is does it take a while to figure
that one out yeah it's uh she's ever seen a whole
like three feet in circumference did she slap
it and it went like it's like a door stopper
eli Colin wore a somewhat green hat 10 weeks
ago. Thank you for the two. I'm not joking. I
just met a group searching for me. This dude
is getting drunker by the day. Tybrose, the colorblind
wake thing you've remembered for two months.
Tried, my lord. Illinois will be evaporated.
It deserves it for more than just that reason,
but you're right. That drink is fine. This is
actually legend of the chat here, Eli. Cabanda's
mighty schlong of seeing this thing with two.
Is Lord Crimes allergic to those with normal
heads? Maybe. We have a good angle. already 23
.5 dude you have to get dk next time so him and
colin can nerd out about sword art online together
favorite anime don't i hate that anime it's colin's
favorite anime i don't know if he likes it i'm
gonna have words with him next time i don't know
if he likes it i think this is just i don't know
what is this chaotic new with i will get that
mpreg lore crimes plus bricky art will be done
no pooter crash will stop me also sorry but you're
now a lore crimes boy also morning this this
is great i i'm very happy to see that that the
people who are the most read and and most written
in in the 40k lore world can uh know how to take
a joke this is lovely this is the channel is
called law crimes as well like we read a lot
and we if you see Most of our fan art is Colin
Pregnant. I'm ready to make shirts for all of
you. I want you all on the shirt. You can do
a King of the Hill style thing of all of you
and Preg on the front. That'd be some crazy merch.
My legacy won't be gooning. This new book's not
actually that good. Raw, Triple Snicks, Day with
the Five finally made it a live one with the
full staff. It is a good day with this and hunting
the parenting live episode from Bruva Alphabusa.
I wonder how he's doing. Shout out to Goose.
Classic. Thank you very much for the 20. Good
to see my most favorite four Warhammer boys back
at it again. I survived fever. I hope you all
are doing well. Also, hi, Bricky. I was the guy
who said to you that you'd make a great service.
Wow. He was truly ominous. I enjoy it. He's honestly
right. thank you for the 10 i hope you're doing
good friend imperial knight's lore is great because
you can just make it the freak up also sir hector
is goaded shekels for the insulin fund gonna
miss this one cheers oh well we'll see you in
the uh in the remaster i believe this is a reference
to your concoction uh from kaiju blue recipe
for estus flasks Hey, Bricky. Oh, my apologies.
I didn't read the name. Bricky's Sway is testicle.
They are correct. Sway is worse than the other.
Hey, Bricky, when are we going to get a poster
of the Lorecrime's boys all oiled and wearing
loincloths? I'm sorry, Bricky's Sway is testicle.
We've moved past that. We have a much better
idea now. When's the Lorecrime's Patreon calendar
coming out? When we have a Patreon, I suppose.
Nomi is Chomsky for Vibe. Put Night Lords in
FTA where they belong. Real. Calm yourself. We're
going to fight. Coming back up, the sacred elixir
Boingob consumed before chicken rotisserie was
such a good concoction, the fireball part didn't
even protect the round lord's fate. Next one
from Artie again. You'll have to introduce me
to the glory of Boingob. Basically, our patron
saint is Boingob. He is our patron saint. He
is the squig from Age of Sigmar who attempted
to eat the sun and died. being burnt to death.
Why didn't we name him Helios? Name him what?
Helios. Listen, he died for our sins. Too smart.
And remember, folks, there is a server in the
Discord where you can praise Boingob every day,
as everyone does. Colin wore a somewhat green
hat for 10. Last time I was on the bus, I listened
to Adric when you played the Pipe SFX. I hit
a metal bar in the bus. when it made a full break
hashtag this is like uh playing sirens in radio
commercials uh how do you want to do the next
few gnomius chomsky shattered legions and joya
finally there's more than one person glory salamanders
iron hands and raven guard shout out to raven
guard who we always forget to put in the episode
because they don't have a lot yeah I mean, Dark
Souls 3 is pretty good. I'm a 2 defender. No,
2's also good. 2 should be defended. I'll take
that. What's the best dark side? One is the best.
One is not the best. One is obviously the best.
If we're choosing between one, two, and three,
I think three is the best. I don't know. Get
him out of here! Get him out of here! He's not
going to know. I was like, I just got evaporated
from the call. He's got licked my balls. oh that's
good to edit to colin's room change the screen
behind me i'm moving i i dressed i dressed up
as colin for halloween uh that was my halloween
costume You still have the cuck chair, Colin.
Fuck off! Yeah, that's my right. I can move everything
but the chair? How suspicious is that? It's time
for a few for Colin. Zimcon, thank you for the
two. Necron, Laura's S. Praise to the Infinite
Empire. Yeah, it's true. It is S tier. Angry
homunculus. We're back to my room being edited,
Andy. You're going back. Sorry, this one. 50
,000 D? Hello from Vietnam, I just wanted to
say. Thank you for helping me get through some
tough times right now. Love you all. Here's to
more lore crime. Thank you very much. Another
one from Saturnine. Thank you. Also, Iron Lord
Warriors better be getting S'd here for the hazard
stripes, the Sigma Male Olympian Sea Jethos,
the complete disregard for civilian life. You
can find that anywhere in 40k. The Iron Warriors
have peak incel rage. They use their incel rage
to obliterate all of us. They do. I read the
Persrabo book. That's most of the book is incel
rage. Oh my god. Skarsnik's top guy, formerly
known as Thanos with a 50 NOK. Surprised guest,
pancreas no work on lore crimes for truly dark
times. You miss like two episodes and you're
no longer part of it. Oh, Xenon, Bricky, what
are your thoughts on Dark Souls 2? I think Dark
Souls 2 is a perfectly decent video game. There
we go. They should tone down the life gem amount
in the beginning, give you a few more Estus Flasks.
You should not have to level up to get iframes
on your dodges, and the hauling mechanic is stupid.
Outside of that, it's not bad. I can take all
that. That is valid. Crowd of the Sunken Dick
Amber King. Yeah, it's good stuff. Eli. Do you
want to get the last one, Eli? Thank you for
the two. Peak Souls 2. I think that's the only
one I've ever played. Good man. R23. Starring
in Lore Crimes is like an amusement park. But
all the signs say you must have this much forehead
to join. They can't love you all content to kill
you. Thank you very much. Last one. Love you
too. So actually his biggest droopy gripper.
Thank you for the two. We need more M preg merchandise.
Also, how is gay? Oh, we got, we got one last
one snuck in before we go back to the CLS for
Nick, Nick, Ricky, you're coping. Well, considering
how brain dead we are, you. Have you seen my
stuff? I mean, come on, man. You should know
what you're getting into as well. We better go
fast. Okay, calm down. Okay, calm down. Space
wolves? Okay, okay. Not that fast. All right,
calm down. Let me know, Ricky. Andy is a tyrant.
Andy is a tyrant with the tier list. No, I'm
not. No, I'm not. I'm a truth teller, and I'm
not a tyrant. How dare you? The truth is what
the state makes it, and you are the state. I'll
recommend this. I'm going to be honest. I love
the White Scars. They're my favorite thing ever.
I absolutely love them. They do not have good
lore in terms of representation with books. I
did my video on the Battle of Chagoras from their
bespoke codex, and everyone was like, they had
a battle for Chagoras? I'm like, yes yes they
did but like i even saw a thing recently where
like a reddit thing was like ranking all the
space marine chapters and of the originals wise
scars was at the bottom and that's just because
they don't really make good like bespoke novels
they're always side characters like in apocalypse
they're stuck in phil kelly tau books you're
right when it comes to the 40k if it's the 40k
stuff though it's different heresy heresy The
Goats. Heresy. Best books in the series. White
Scars books. Chris Raitt, my beloved, made them...
What? I haven't read Scars in a long time. Scars
is like one of the best books in the heresy.
It's amazing. I haven't read it in years. Half
of Heaven, Scars, all the seizure terror stuff
they're in. Everything the White Scars are in
in Horus Heresy is phenomenal. And Chris Raitt
did a fantastic job of bringing them out of the
abyss. But it's like... I love that meme. It's
the wrong nationality for the white scars. I
was thinking of dogs also. I mean, I can imagine,
not to cut you off, I mean, I kind of feel the
same way. I love everything about what the white
scars are, and I have read precious few things
that make them look very exciting. Well, I think
this is the part where, again, because obviously
With a 60 -whatever book series, obviously, it's
hard to get to everything. But Andy is correct
in which, especially with the White Scar characters
throughout the Horus Heritage series, because
it's one of those ones where each time there's
a book on the White Scar series, also their legion,
it follows the same characters. So by the time
there's no, like, oh, there's random new guys
being added in, who I have no idea. We follow
these... Well, some. That's later. That's later.
But then there's quite a few of them who you
follow them. Generally, there's this kind of
tight -knit group who defy what people's expectations
of them are. And then slowly, one by one, Jagatai
Khan, who is an amazingly witty and funny character,
he slowly loses all of his best friends he was
growing up with. Each one of them slowly dies,
sacrificing themselves for the cause of a basic
cause they could have gone either way. Generally
some of the better fight scenes as well. They
have crazy fight scenes in Horus Heresy stuff.
And then Jagatai Khan has good wine lines telling
Mortar and he stinks. Everything with the Khan
is awesome. Everything with Jagatai is always
awesome. There's no more Jagatai in 40k. Shut
your face, Colin! All I will say is let's not
forget that Shaban Khan saves an actual baby.
outside the walls of the seat of terror and brings
it back i'm like the goats coming back again
with another classic generally like the most
human moments of like they actually look after
so like the most interaction between normal civilians
and space marines are in white scar books yeah
white guys are probably nicer than salamanders
actually They adopt a thousand suns so that he
can be less cringe than his brothers. Like, yeah,
the goats. Best of all time. These are all pretty
fine ideas. It's let down by the 40k stuff. I
think you're all right. I think they're still
in B though. They're in a lot of really mid Space
Marine books in 40k. Because most 40k Space Marine
books are just so mid. They are pretty cool in
a world traitor book of all places. They just
kind of lock in and deal with the problem. Even
the terrible Fist of the Imperium book about
the Imperial Fist has a white scar Death Watch
guy, and he's like the best thing in the book.
Andy, you really read everything, bro. Anyway,
honestly, Space Wolves, bear with me. I'm actually
going as far as I would put them almost an S.
I'll be honest. This is huge. Get down. Get down
there, Colin. Get on your knees. Fucking wolves.
You know, I think once you move past the memes
that I myself have perpetrated or whatever, where
everything is wolf, wolf, wolf, and you actually
look into Bjorn and the folks and the months
of shame and stuff, I think they rock, man. Right,
right, right. Let me make my case for a second.
You've got six Ragnar Blackmane books. You've
got the Lucas the Trickster book, which is fantastic
because it adds some comic relief to the setting,
but also making him a badass. You've got great
codexes. You've got the Mumps of Shame. You've
got not just the new Fourth War for Armageddon,
but also the Third War for Armageddon and the
First War for Armageddon. They cook! They actually
cook. And even when they're in the Horus Heresy,
I always was intrigued by like, even like Prospero
Burns and stuff like that, learning about there
are no wolves on Fenris. And then there's like
guys like Bodvar Bjarki and the guy, I can't
remember the name off the top of my head, who
makes it for the lion. He picked, there's a space
wolf who picked a fight with the lion and Conrad
occurs in the same book and lived. Slightly.
Burning of Prospero and Thousand Suns were like
two of the first Horus Heresy books I read as
a kid, so they have very fond memories. And also
Logan Grimnar has plot armor thicker than Cato
Sicarius and Caldor Drago combined. He's literally
the GOAT. You will never beat Logan Grimnar.
He's like sick as hell though, so it's totally
okay. Yeah, he's literally the GOAT. Can I ask
something? Sorry, I want to hear Colin. I want
to hear Cone. He's being drowned by Wolf and
Hare. I'd just like to start that if we're going
off books, then Caiaphas Kane better be his own
goddamn faction on this list, Andy. Oh, he's
got so many books. That means he's good. Yeah,
that's it. He's just got more lore. It doesn't
matter if it's good. He's going to get cut. He's
going to choose files. Mad because bad. Mad because
bad. The mouth of every GW author is firmly wrapped
around Space Wolf meat just going around. That's
right. We can break the codex. We get a bajillion
Marines in our own fleet and we beat up... That's
right. Colin, Colin, Colin. Are you happy now?
Are you happy? Are you happy? I mean, I'm a guard
simp also, so I'm kind of happy with that. Are
you happy? Can I interject one thing for the
boys, which is, Bricky, if you ever get the chance,
there's a really good Space Wars character, obviously
Ragnar Blackman, I'm sure you've heard of, but
in his novel, which is written probably 20 years
ago, it explains that the Wolfen... It's not
because they look like wolves. It's named after...
It's a wolfing curse because it's named after
a guy called Wolfen. And I just can't get out
of it. No, they did the fucking land raider thing
again. He picked a fight with Lehman Russ and
was told off and now you drink from the cup of
Wolfen named after Wolfen who led the 13th company.
That's where it comes from. But also, it's a
book series. genuine question was it like written
well when that happened because i actually because
the arc and land bit in master mankind is actually
played for laughs like it's it's meant to be
kind of humorous you know to give you an idea
that just remember that the ragnar black main
books are read are written by the same guy who
did the gotrek and felix books it's willing i
did not know that i have not read the gotrek
and felix it's peak that's why that's why they're
there canonically the only chapter slash legion
who has a fat space marine is the space wolves
and he's called hager and he throws a hunt a
thunder hammer like it's a tomahawk yeah and
it's amazing thor because yeah yeah and there's
and there's also a dandy i don't need a book
for that and there's also a dandy space marine
who drinks wine and wears perfume and all the
other space was like you're cringe and so he
doesn't live in fenris he lives on terra They're
great. Space Wolf content is always good. No,
no, no. This is a spur of the moment, but honestly,
if you want to go lore, they crunk in Horus Heresy.
They crunk in the Ragnar Blackmane book. And
anytime they show up, they are so good. Have
they ever lost a major conflict on screen? Never.
And that's why they're fun. That's right. That's
why they go... And also... No, no, no. Okay,
when we get to the Eighth Legion, we'll talk
about why losing conflicts is good for character
development. And let's not forget that Logan
Grimnair was also in the Malkarian heresy as
a young wolf, so you get to see his progression
from, like, an itty -bitty wolf to a big wolf.
And that's cool as well. For the sake of time,
we'll leave it at that. For the sake of time,
I think I'm happy with Space Wolves. Yeah, I
agree. I agree with you, Andy. This is really
hard for me, because, again... It is because
I generally thought nothing of the Imperial Fist.
And then I'm just hit with some of the, like
they generally have some of the coolest scenes
in the heresy. But again, the 40K is such a heavy
letdown. It's really tough. I feel like every
single time there's an Imperial Fist in any book
I've read, there's some side character that is
uninteresting. Or when I have read Dorne books,
I'm like, when Dorne is speaking, He's cool.
Cause he's just like dense as shit, but, but
like fun and, and does have character a bit,
but then all of his sons, I just don't enjoy.
I haven't read. I haven't read the life. I haven't
read the Lysander books yet, but I've read pretty
much everything else. The only books he's not
read. Oh, I've read a Lysander book, actually.
The one where he makes a deal with a demon or
something. Pandarax? Well, Pandarax is the Grey
Knights and the Dark Knight. That's the Grey
Knight one, yeah. It sounds similar. But it's
the same Space Marine Conquest series. But I
haven't read it yet. But like, 30k? There are
some cool characters like Archimus II, Archimus
III. There's Alexus Pollux, let's not forget.
Do Soul Drinkers and Crimson Fists, Lord, does
that count for Imperial Fists? You have to count
Black Templars and I don't think that's fair.
Black Templars are separate. We have a separate
thing for them. Are we doing successor chapters
too? No, no, no. Hold on. We're only doing the
Black Templars because they've usurped the Imperial
Fists as their main chapter. I'm going to cry.
Let's put them in C because War of the Beasts
is cool. Okay, alright. Alright. Let's talk about
night Lawrence. All right. Here's what I'm thinking,
okay? Here's what I'm thinking. Night Lords,
when Aaron Demski Bowden writes them, three of
the best books ever. Very, very good. Talos,
great character. Fantastic stuff. Incredible.
Everything else about Night Lords, generally
generic and villain of the week, dude who loves
to skin kids. I would put them an A because the
books are so goddamn good. And I think that they're,
I think Kurz is like genuinely interesting. He's
cool. I think he's pretty neat. However, I can
be let down if need be. I think I'm kind of Talos
coping and I'm okay with that because those books
are like the best things I've ever read. B tier?
Can we settle for B tier? I was going to say,
can we put it top of B because it's like, if
we're going to be like putting everything on
Talos and maybe Jago, Savitarian. Savitarian
is pretty up there as well. Yeah. Yeah. But like
Honsu has, I think more and better stuff. to
some degrees than talos i really like honsu and
also there's some cool iron warriors characters
along the way that also do some of the slack
picking up slack for every night way more i cannot
fathom that the night lord have you read the
honsu stuff no but i generally even let's just
even open it community -wide it's the night lord
omnibus is considered the best opener for someone
to get into 40k there's just no comparison that
isn't like if it's something i mean but that's
not their only that's not their only more than
yeah i'm gonna say it's a great book but i feel
like you need a decent like knowledge of warhammer
to understand the night lord books a bit you
need probably decent and they have like it's
no like eisenhorn which is a very easy starter
you know or kane which you don't need or kane
I just can't get through how good it is, though.
Well, they have, like, we're going to be over
three hours. We're going to be over three hours.
Please, Low A, please, for my son. I want Low
A. I'm not trying to argue for S, but I do think
Kurz, Nostromo, their general concept, his vindictive,
weird personality, the books, I think it's worth
it. Death of characters is strong in these ones
as well. These blood angels. I really like their
omnibus, but I think most of it is now not canon,
which is a shame. Including the Blood Angels
Civil War, which is awesome. And James Swallow
is possibly my second favorite writer of all
time. He never misses. He did Flight of the Eisenstein.
He did the Blood Angels omnibus. He did the Buried
Dagger. He's done Death Guards. He's done Knights
Errant. He's done Blood Angels. We're not putting
James Swallow on the list. Mike Brooks to the
top, baby! His omnibus is good. Mephiston's books
are pretty good. uh dante's pretty good they've
got to be an a surely and above nightlords and
sure they got driven it's so hard to look at
blood angels and not think man those guys are
so freaking cool even if you barely know anything
about them they just they just have that effect
i don't know i haven't read a single blood angel
scores heresy book and i've heard that they're
kind of made that's overrated so i feel like
what's the deal about blood angels they have
cool 40k characters though which is what a lot
of these other legions lack How much is Devastation
of Baal carrying them like the Nightlord Omnibus
carries Nightlords? It depends. I mean, Sanguinius
is like an S -tier Primarch, though. He's pretty
up there. Blood Angels have a lot of canon characters
walking around in the Codex. Colin is turning
purple. Colin, what's wrong? Colin, why? I think
Sanguinius is overrated. I think it's pretty
great. I think he's very cool, but everyone talks
about him like he's Jesus Christ reborn. Yeah,
yes, because he died. I understand the symbolism
of it. I'm going to honk out a brown snake at
your new house for that. Go on, you're visiting
me then. I'm going to say, I will say that I
think the blood angels have the inverse problem
of the white scars. Their 30k characters are
kind of mid. And then their 40k characters are
really good. Like, Rauderon. Does anyone really
know anything about Rauderon? He's a first captain.
He should have some lore. Does he? No. He kicks
a Nightlord off a wall in Siege of Terror. He's
kind of there from... But then you've got Meros,
the Apothecary, where he submits himself to the
Ragefire and becomes a demon in Fusion to save
his Primarch from sacrificing himself. That was
cool. The omnibus is cool. Dawn Space Marine
over here. The Mephiston books are cool. Blood
Angels have some really good stuff. The Blood
Angels Civil War alone is freaking awesome because
it's an interchapter war, and I think that's
cool. And there's some word bearers, and it's
good. Sorry. You need to find me a Captain Tycho
book. I've been told he's not in any books, but
I want to make a video on Captain Tycho. I know,
but he's got no lore. He's just cool. He has
a short story. But he's got no lore other than
that, and it's a shame. And he's dead now, so
we can't do anything. We put it in S because
generally they have, even from what is codex
or general lore, pretty amazing. The in -depth
lore through their characters and novels is,
again, one of the best offerings in 40k. It must
be on there. I would be fine with High A if we
were... I did think, out of all the other Space
Marine chapters, I was going to put Blood Angels
in High A or S. Yeah, I think High A is better
because they have Bad Wars heresy books. Has
any other chapter got a plotline about a supposed
reincarnation of the Primarch, but it's actually
seen fucking around? No, because they all still
have their Primarchs. What's with the iron hands?
Curse might have his soul in his hands. I hate
elves. I love elves! Please read the Blood Angels.
Omniverse is really good. I'm fine with putting
Blood Angels in top of A if we're going to try
to split hairs. Also, I think Colin wants him
in B, so we should take Colin's opinion in this
a little bit. Never said before. Never said before
on Warcraft. He was the first one on Adric, you
know, I think. So, you know, we gotta give a
lot. Where would you put a nothing burger on
this list, Andy? This pays me so much, because
this is my favorite chapter. Is it your favorite
chapter, Hal? Because if you ever... No one's
going to ever read this book. Some of the Ironhands
books are the most depressing 40k books ever.
I like that. It's so... I understand the whole
thing of let me get a rope, if you know what
I mean. That's how bad it is. But the Ironhands
do have their general lore part. The Shattered
Legions and Horus Heresy stuff is pretty... Even
though I know it's a subplot. They do all right
with it. And I do enjoy that some of the characters,
they all end up dying. Spoilers. I've said that
before. The 40k stuff, I love the fact that Legion
is like, it's not just generic space. They have
a unique thing. They worship the Mechanicus.
They get different clan. They change clans and
get different upgrades into their biometrics.
They battle with this random self -hatred and
a weird Zetian plot where they have... the coolest
it's just the only thing that's close to my heart
which is the coolest unit which is not on the
tabletop yet which is the iron fathers which
in the one the iron one of those books it just
describes the um some humans like the iron fathers
are basically the ones who guard their like massive
council and they um they're tech primary and
chaplain hybrids But they've done something called
they've turned the keys of hell, which is they've
turned themselves into essentially human automatons.
And when normal people see them, they literally
shiver with fear because you're seeing a thing
that only knows how to kill. And it's a human
completely devoid of any humanity. They're not
really human. The joke is there's not really
any human parts left in them. They're kind of
like... walking robots and yeah terrifying can
we put them in eight can we put them in here
i'm gonna say i definitely don't know at all
wait wait wait wait wait bricky like i gotta
be honest yeah shad shadrach meduson's death
in horus heresy was the biggest gut punch i ever
felt in a horus in in a warhammer book ever he's
a lazy character yeah no one's gonna feel that
way but they're they're 40k stuff like the the
um What's the war leader? Because they don't
have a chapter master, they have a war leader.
Shadrach Meduson. No, like I said, Cardan Stronos.
His book's really good. He's got two and a half.
Absolutely fascinating books, including a bit
where he goes to Medusa and he talks to a weird
primordial being that's kind of multi -headed
and maybe it's a Mechanicus abomination that
lives there. It's really weird. And they're fascinating.
There's a book, Iron Hands, about the Iron Hands,
and it's about an Iron Hand. Okay, now you've
argued for big. You've mentioned it. It's good.
So, you know, what we discussed earlier, we talked
about how the concepts of the Legion outweighs
the strengths of certain bits of writing and
stuff. I mean, I fully believe that Ferris Man
is a bit of an unwritten, as a lowly written
character. Yeah, yeah. But I kind of think...
much similarly to dark angels and white scars
that they the idea of the iron hands matters
more than what has been put on on page and so
i was fine with putting them b i would say if
you read the breadth of stuff they have you'd
put them in a really even with the 40k stuff
because we do judge 30k and 40k as separate the
40k stuff is really good it's not really good
no one's read it it's good but it is really good
The Cardan Stronos books are fantastic. The Anatolos
Godalkin book called Iron Hands about an iron
hands. It's like a problem with marketing. That
book has a plot line about they maybe found the
burial place of Ferus Manus. And I read that
and I did like a, oh, and it's like them pit
against the word bears. And it's really interesting.
And I love what they do. Like iron hands are
such good law. No one's read it. That's the only
problem. I'll put my hands up and be like, I'm
not versed in this realm, so you can put it in
A if you'd like. I'm surprised, but I also think
Andy's a dictator, so... It's true. World eaters.
I like world eaters a lot. I do. I do too. Are
we going all the way to S? I'm asking you. I'm
kind of indifferent to what he does. Angron's
a great character, in general. I like Angron
a lot. Not anymore, though. That's the issue.
I don't know if we can have any Traitor Legion
with a main character. The character arc is finished.
The character arc is finished. Yeah, yeah. He's
now a frothing monster. That's the concept, right?
A lot of Traitor Legions have the one -dimensional
problem. It's like... Thousand Suns, you've just
got Ahriman. World Eaters, you've just got Khan.
Death Guard, you've got Typhus. All the Emperor's
Children, you've got Lucius. It's hard for the
Corrupted Legions to be over A tier because all
their 40k stuff is like the same thing most of
the time. I wouldn't have an A, but I wouldn't.
I don't know if S is fair. I do think they're
A deserving. I think they're A tier too. I do
love all of them. There is a pop book, but it's
sharing with the word bearers there as well.
Oh, we'll get to the word bearers when we get
there. I honestly don't think that we can give
them a tier if the 40k isn't... pulling up the
30k. Look at my tag here. Colin deserves to be
taken seriously. There's the tag here. And I
think Colin is right. World Eaters, their character
arc is finished in 40k. It is the summation of
it all. And so because of that, I don't think
the 40k being particularly exciting matters.
It is finalized. I did like Firefist in the Black
Legion book, Firefist, where he's just like a
guy who was a world eater, and that's cool, but
it's like they're always relegated to secondary
characters now, which is a trouble. The world
leader apothecary in the Dabby's File book's
cool too. I don't remember his name, though.
So much so that the big, corny leader of the
Siege of Rax wasn't even a world eater. He was
a renegade storm lord. Whatever, man. I'm just
saying. How much care? I think they're always
fun to read about. Their arguments are a lot
easier to pull polls into than I think their
fans. There's four people. Four people for right.
Ultramarines, the greatest heroes of them all.
Calm down. They're the greatest of us all. There's
just so much slop. Matt Warren was right. There's
so much slop. There is, but I love me Titus.
Mr. Dump Truck himself. I do like the Cato Sicarius
books sometimes. I like the Uriel Ventress stuff
a lot because it's got Honsu in it and it's fun.
They're dynamic. Ultramarines are better because
of the Iron Warriors. Got it. Ultramarine fans
sleep in race car beds. Their 30k stuff is hot
water. 30k, there's no point. They're not in
30k at all. They're just in rubbish books. Well,
the cap is their one thing. And they get crushed.
It completely deserves action. And I only feel
it's cool. If we're going off the one thing of
the horse heresy, put the iron hands down in
F tier now, please. No, no, there are several
books. They do a lot of stuff. Ultramen don't
deserve F tier. Please. Bad horse heresy. Literally,
the only reason they have good 40k books is because
they have the most 40k books. And there's so
much garbage. There's so much garbage. Endless
skill issues. I feel like I'm in the middle of
a divorce hearing. I guess we need to just be
like, Ultramarines are obviously the poster boys,
so they're kind of a divisive thing in itself.
middle of the pack. It's top of B. B's not bad.
It's the average. I am with Eli where the problem
is not that they don't have good. The problem
is that the bad is dragging the good down. There's
a percentile issue here of how much good to how
much mediocre. Where would you put them? Top
of B is fine. They're ultramarines. They should
be nice and clean in top of B, the perfect middle
ground. Andy? Sorry, Colin. You're already going
to say what I was going to say. I was going to
say, should we go through some donuts? Yeah,
that is what I was going to say. I read your
mind, bro. Okay, we've got some audio. Audio
free, free, free. For keeping us hostage for
so long. It's the name of the game. Cool, man.
So I'll start with three. Incoming backup. Genuine
video. Leaving aside all the furry profit of
Boingob stuff, you five YouTubers are the reason
I got into Warhammer lore and found such a great
community. Praise the round lord and his five
ten head messengers. Thank you. Andy, I can power
through some of these. okay i'll do i thought
we'd do like for each but i'll do these ones
because i know i know glenn uh xenon for five
how can you reload your arms whilst owning that
tash is that saying it's the henry cavill touch
yeah it's the mission impossible things impossible
can it get more curly now can you grow it to
be more early i could probably do a full curl
like that and get it that'd be awesome I spend
30 bucks on the stream. Pay me attention, God.
Thank you, Colin Waters, someone green hat for
that. We've paid you attention. Thank you very
much. Ross666 with a fiver. Thank you. Salamanders
are my S rank. I'm sorry. Not because they are
nice guys, but the fact they are popular despite
GW attempts of killing off the faction. They're
popular because they're nice guys. I hate to
break it to you. RD23 with the five pounds. Question
for Colin. Good Yanari lore, but you only play
against K -Suns and Magic the Gathering for the
rest of your life. If I had to do that, I'm hanging
myself. I'm sorry, Yanari. Don't. No more turn
one Sol Ring, turn three Magnus the Red. Kyle,
would you read these next two from Gnomeus? Because
I know you love his name so much. Gnomeus Chomsky
for five euros. Conrad and his legion should
have been purged with a second and eleventh legion.
Yeah, that's right. That's bad. Probably, honestly,
yeah. Gnomeus Chomsky, Iron Hands of Circe, the
most underrated legion. Their stories in 30k
with Salamanders and Raven Guard, one of the
best touching stories. It is true. Depressing
but touching. Ferris Manus lives. Primarch of
the Legion of the Damned. I mean, If that's a
leak thing for that, kill me. No, it's not a
leak for that. It's just, it's copium. Yeah,
totally. My only friend, The End, I think this
is Mike judging off the Dallas for the lady PFP.
Hanzo, the effing goat, also the new Nightmares
book, The Remnant Blade is pretty fun. Night
Lords, I assume you meant. Thank you. Someone
on here will read it eventually. Mr. I literally
have trouble reading, sorry. Ironhands have fantastic
but depressing lore, in my opinion. Shadrach
and Meduson was an OG. Also, Cardan Stronos has
one that... Did we get a salute there? Has one
of the greatest rises to power from any chapter.
And Eli will appreciate that he's a huge fan
of Tau weaponry. Yeah, baby. Oh, Colin, this
is written all over. Baratheon's designated toilet
with a 5CA. I can't wait for tiered to be an
S tier. They won't be. I'll be walking into oncoming
traffic. We have one for Bricky. Bricky, did
you read Lord of Nights? This is returning. Uh,
no, I have not yet. I hear it's very, very good.
I know they talk about it in the Omnibus. I remember
they're like, eh, Sahal's Terran born. I don't
like that guy and stuff. We got one more maybe
we can do. You're good. uh i guess i'll just
read this i'll just read this one i guess okay
277 you guys have helped me through the years
inspired me to start my own channel studios just
got to make the videos now also berkey i blame
you and aderick my night lord starring arrival
my eight points five k jesus christ mr john 40k
oh yeah i don't even have that many points let's
have like four thousand or i don't have I've
sold some recently. I had 10 ,000 points of chaos.
I think I have only about 6 ,000 nowadays. Death
Guard. So how much does Lords of Silence carry
this exactly? A lot. 40k lore. That's all they
have, more or less. 30k lore. It's James Swallow
and Chris Raitt. Isn't Chris Raitt good? Yeah.
And James Swallow is also good. They are great
in the Horde. He's down by Mortarion. Gusty's
down by the Convoys. James Swallow coming up
with Nathaniel Garrow and Grilgore and Typhus
and blah blah blah. All the boys and then Chris
being like I'm going to put people like Kypher
Morag and I'm going to develop Mortarion. Chris
and James blew it out of the park for 30k and
seeing the two of them together I'm like Do we
like Mortarion though? He's always been kind
of a wet blanket for me. This is the downside
which is like the death guard like horus heresy
and 40k things they are good when they show up
but it's always under this massive blanket of
essentially there's a glaring problem with the
legion is people can't get past the hypocrisy
thing in general in motarian story or part of
the legional in that sense and i get it which
yeah i i would i would defend what i was slightly
being like so someone's being a hypocrite finally
someone 40k knows they're a hypocrite but um
it is unfortunately it yeah like it does have
a glaring issue and i think again motarin being
even though you can be a bad guy but he's unlikable
that's like yeah i don't find him interesting
is the problem you know good past that i mean
like i found him interesting in um i don't know
if you've gotten to it yet but um the dark imperium
trilogy like plague wars yeah he's side character
in that but i like him in that because he's almost
like he's he's the he was always meant to be
they'll they'll always be in 40k resigned to
the the mustache twirling villains thing but
oh they do it well Like, I can't find a fault
with the Death Guard because in 30k, they have
the humanity side. They have so many characters,
whether it's Kypher Morag or it's Typhus or Garrow
or Solendaceous. They all go through that. Am
I going to be chaos? Am I not? And they do it
so well. And then 40k, they have to all be evil
goobers. And when they're evil goobers, they
do it well. Like that scene in Godblight was
like, I'm going to fold this man into a billion
folds. And he won't die. Oh, you're gross. I'll
make one argument, which will settle it, which
is it needs to go probably just under Ultramarines.
There's one part of the lore which makes me giggle
because it's funny. There's a thing called, you
haven't got to yet. It's the tattle slug. if
you know what I'm talking about, Eli. It's this
little Nurgle demon thing that basically is like
a little worm growth thing and acts as a little
spy. That's great. And they have a little song.
It's like, Dattleslug, Dattleslug. And I love
the audiobook. He's like some... mafia boss being
like, yeah, where do you need me to go, mate?
And this is the thing. And then the demons of
the comic relief. Honestly, I would put Death
Guard in S tier. Because they do everything well.
S tier? They are usually pretty fun when they
show up. They always knock it out of the park.
If you want them to be a villain, they're great.
They're great. They're always great. i don't
even like death guard but i'm like i they're
great are we gonna put them on the same level
though as like all of the back -to -back guard
book hits you know what top of a as a compromise
of like it does have some of the best 40k moments
kind of in general but there is an overarching
problem with it which is we It's not everyone's
favorite. There's a reason it's not everyone's
favorite. I think they're easy, eh? I just...
Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I never really liked
Death Guard, but I think maybe it's just more
of like a... They just never really grabbed me.
I think they have the chaos problem of like it's
Typhus and Garrow, but like not much more. I'd
never have a Death Guard army and I don't really
like them as I like the Death Guard. But every
time they show up, if you're fighting them, they're
fun. If they're going through complex emotional
turmoil in the 30k setting, they're great. If
they're mustache -twirling villains with little
nurglings being like, I'm the Colette Relief.
They're fantastic. They're always fun in a weird,
morbid way. For the next few... I'm sure we can
almost speed run up to the Legion ones because
a lot of these are going to be bad. I have no
horse in the Thousand Suns race. I just don't
care. I freaking hate Thousand Suns, man. They
suck. Very briefly, it suffers from the problem
of the lore itself is trying to be too high brain.
It's trying to be too much. They do suffer from
really good books and then really mid books.
I've spoken to Horace Heresy, 40k Ahriman books.
There's a few good ones. I'm going to smash my
head against a wall because there's five Ahriman
books and the fifth one basically reverts back
in time to the end of the second book. So the
fourth and the fifth book, nothing happened.
I'm going to lose it. I've been told about that.
I've had a lot of people crash out about that.
Again, briefly, The complexity of the Legion,
like, it gets across, like, they have different,
like, magic cults and there's some cool stuff,
but unfortunately, overall, Magnus... Oh, it's
F. Sorry, I just noticed that. Magnus is on site.
Magnus could... Magnus does suck. Magnus is so
awful. He kills one of his own sons when he's
like, oh, by the way, the Space Wolves are coming.
He's an unjustifiable character in every aspect.
He literally does the... I'm sorry, Mike. He
does the Dr. Manhattan thing where he's like,
hey, bro. I'm a captain in your legion. They're
space wars. We should like maybe warn the civilians.
He goes, lick my balls. What's that about, eh?
He is kind of written like a moron's idea of
a smart person. Yeah. Many such cases. Many such
cases. The Emperor has a similar problem, if
I'm not mistaken. We could go on for a while
on that one, but I would say for the sake of
brevity, can we please put Salamander's Raven
Garden Alpha Legion in C as a grouping? Salamander's
who? Raven Garden Alpha Legion. they have legion
have one s tier book and then everything else
is just like poop which is the s tier book i'm
very curious legion legion is a great place because
they're not even the main characters in it that's
why it's so good i read the alfarius book and
i was like this is fine actually that was cool
too but it's not as it's like again right can
i um off offer something i i know that uh fans
of those three legions are gonna be very upset
that we just i love the alpha through they're
all my favorites no they're fun but they are
i've read almost all their books so this is like
an honest opinion most of their books are bad
because the authors are not smart enough to write
a good alpha legion book it's just how salamin
salamanders have a nick time problem which is
a shame because he does the four he does the
30k and 40k something like oh oh baby i i stopped
reading every salamander book i'm trying to know
i couldn't get through i couldn't get this one
sorry it has a great enough though His Marines
malevolent stuff is actually okay. What did he
mean by that, for what you will? What did he
mean by this? Where are those next few chapters?
We've got Wordbearers, Black Legion slash Sons
of Horus, and then Black Templars, because I
had to add them. I've read Shroud of Night, and
it's okay. If I may. If I may. Wordbearers, straight
to the top. Yes, please. Straight to the top.
Yeah, you know it. Lorgar is such... This was
right. Lorgar is an absolute hysterical character.
He's such a villain. I love him. First Heretic
is the Chaos Marine Bible book. I have not read
the Omnibus, but I've been told that the Wordbearer
Omnibus is fantastic. All I ever wanted was the
truth. You know, you got Erebus, who I actually
like a lot because he's just such a dick. I'm
gonna... I would stick it all the way. This is
huge news. Ricky's the goat. Ricky's the goat.
This is good news. I hate to say it, but Black
Legion, it's one of those things where overall,
like again, Andy's about to pounce on me, but
it has two good books. and then the over like
it's massively let down by like the but the horse
here is he's literally logan's giant nuts hold
up the sons of horus by an extensive degree in
my opinion yeah they're even there and let's
not forget uh my boy tarik torgaden who i Who
I think is me in Warhammer. Have you ever heard
about Warhammer? Yeah, that's a little... Is
that the case, Andy? Yeah, that's me. I'm Keanu
Reeves, you know, of Warhammer 2. Oh, cool. Does
Warhammer have Master Beast? Actually, I'm...
Joe Grammaticus! What about C? Shout out to the
gas station two weeks ago, the guy who shouted,
Mr. Beast! Mr. Beast! Although, I got to put
them in B. Yeah, but I was just for the American
audience. Their Black Legion books are good.
They're reliable villain of the week. They have
some good stuff. Yeah. Sons of Horus is good.
Like, they're good. Templars are A, unless you're
considering the fact that you will find the most
racist people alive in their fanbase, in which
case they might even drop a little bit. Yeah,
the Black Templar players and the Black Templar
lore have quite the divide. Not all Black Templar
fans, but always the Black Templar fans. They're
very reliable of the Terran crusade. so they
got hell's reach but there's like the whole thing
of like the terran crusade one of them just charges
uh cabanda i think it is when the corn ate great
demons and then he dies but then guillemin's
like thanks mate for wounding him i guess like
they're always going for it they're always i
haven't finished uh broken crusade i've just
started it Sorry, Black Templar bros. Yet another
Necron W. Oh, Eli, when we go, when Necrons arrive,
we're just going to start completely jerking
each other off at Mach speed. Are you respawning?
I just killed you. That's not what happened!
That's not what happened! I've got you down 17
times! Stop respawning! I'm overstimulated by
this podcast. But I would say they're not as
good as Death Guard. I wouldn't say they're as
good as Emperor's Children either. If we're putting
them in A, I would put them pretty low in A,
personally. Put them by world leaders. They're
pretty similar vibes. There's something to be
said about the Siege of Terror Sigismund plotline
transformation. You see a character stop. He
loses his sense of being an imperial fist and
he turns into what becomes the essence of The
entire chapter essentially is the utter hollowness
of losing your humanity and just becoming a weapon
is one of the coolest and slash the fight scenes,
which have Sigismund always pretty special. But
I mean, it's really hard because it's like, and
it's really. there's something about its general
sense. They have the uniqueness about them. They
hate the witch. The witch, the psycho, they have
a uniqueness to them that many others below them
don't have. More than any other faction of the
Imperium, they are a touchstone to reclaiming
their humanity, which is kind of odd. Whether
it's Sigismund, whether it's Hell's Reach, there's
moments where they're like, Grimaldus, humans,
they are a mystery to me. But also he's the one
who's like, you changed me. I came to this annoying
world, which I called like a graveyard and I
hate it. And I hate how many people died. But
like, I became a better person by things like,
hang on you. you're not supposed to be a good
person you're a templar you're a nasty boy isn't
that the point of hell's reach where they're
like being less like black templars yeah they're
kind of like salamanders are cringe they're saving
civilians but it's also like oh well we're not
going to go that far but we'll kind of be nicer
to them i guess by the way could we uh could
we just skip the middleman and put leagues of
votan i'm seeing it later on the list it's into
f tier yeah We're jumping ahead. Let me explain
this one for you. First of all, amazing how the
man who thinks the Iron Hands are great is going
to criticize someone of having no lore. That's
a huge take. Let me look at this. I know very
much there's different ways to look at 40k. You
can look at it like Rule of Cool, Dawn of War.
You can get really into the characters. Both
are valid. I'm not going to look at the space
dwarfs who eat planets for capitalism and they're
gods of machinery and go, yeah, that's not cool.
You know what I want more of? I want more daddy
issues. That's what will fix this faction. But
that's why we're here. I have two fathers and
I love them both. I'm sorry. I can't relate.
It's not much, Al, but all I'm going to say is
right now, Hal, you having a go at the Votan
is like beating up a toddler because they've
just gotten started. Think about that. Listen,
the Votan Codex came out. I opened that shit
up. I learned about the ancestor core and the
constant problems of re -uploading their consciousness
to them. I see hardcore capitalistic contracts
and stuff. I see their general vibe. And I think
to myself, damn, B tier. There's not enough to
make them A or S. I think they're super sick,
but I don't think they're going to go any higher
than that. I like Lego Power Miners. Unholster
the means of negotiation is the hardest line
in all of Fortnite. It's pretty good, yeah. Also,
I love the robots. I think it's a sick concept.
I love the general... Have any of us read their
book? I've got it. I haven't read it. It is a
B. It is the book you would expect a new faction
to get where it is almost entirely lore related
and the characters are completely whatever and
it teaches you a lot about the lore of the character.
But it is not there is not a lot much past that.
That's why it's B. I'm going to say something
very divisive but I think it's warranted. In
terms of who they'd be in real life, parallels
to where we are right now, if we're honest, Votan,
the AI fans, these are the guys who'd be like...
I'm making AI YouTube content. Yeah, well, if
we're going off of that, then almost every faction
we've talked about is the Third Reich. I saw
the dog, and the dog was happy. So I pet the
dog, and the dog was happy. And then the dog
was going to pony. I gotta be honest, man, this
isn't even a non -sequitur. You're like playing
a different game. You know, there's a Battletech
room tierless across the way if you want to talk
more about AI. I'm just messing. Can I be there?
I hate it here. Votan belongs in top of C because
it's not on the same level as the rest of everything
in B. It's just not. I do have an issue putting
it next to Black Legion. That does feel a little
tough. Fair enough. That was a good reason, Hal.
I think so. I think that's a fine compromise,
but putting them down with, like, fucking one
I and F, I don't think it's okay. Yeah, but,
like, I think the main thing about both of them
is, like, let them cook. They've got one book.
Yeah. They'll get there. They'll get there, maybe.
If it gets better, I'll give it a chance. Is
it Grey Knights? Grey Knights. Turn the match
to three. This is... I don't know. I think they're
fine in B. I'm going to say... I think... revealing
the terminus decree could only lead to failure.
I think what they gave is about the best they
could do with it. I don't think that. I don't
think it's good. I do honestly think that's the
best they can do with it. You are correct in
your initial statement of revealing it was the
wrong decision in general. No, yeah, they should
never have touched that. No, without a doubt.
But also, it's just like, if I was told to sit
down and write the terminus decrees, I have to.
i don't know man i think i could have thought
something better than that and i try i try not
to insert myself in that way but like i don't
know man i honestly feel like it would be either
that or starting some kind of horus heresy round
two oh here we see This is like them going around
murdering space marines. They snort like Malkador's
ashes or something. You know what? They did that.
I feel like a simple thing would be like Terminus
Decree, you get to have the full support of the
Administratum, therefore the Minotaurs get involved.
That's like an easy fix. You bring in the absolute
dickheads of the setting to help you wrestle
him off the throne. At least then, that's like
the same chapter that's like... Valerian being
like, I don't know if I can take that guy. That
guy scares me. And I'm a custodian. That's an
easy fix. Look, they go and be... And I got a
shout out to Kaldar Drago for briefly showing
up in Age of Sigmar. Wasn't that retconned? No,
that was a completely different thing. He saw
a world of eight realms of magic ruled by a god
king. It was like, well, that's so stupid, but
I'm so glad it exists. Let's remove the Terminus
Decree from this, because that's fairly recent.
If we just go off like, do you like tangerines?
Like, um, Chaos Gate, Demon Hunter new version
game is cool. It is lore. Don't they kill Mortarion?
They banish him. And they did it before. This
is rude. I'm gonna stand it in here. Crazy statement
there. The Grey Knights have a thing where its
potential is a letdown of what its potential
could be. It's on paper. it could like it's like
you know it's a fully functioning elite psycho
force with the emperor's genesee which is amazing
but yet again unfortunately too many things it's
like kind of with parts of the death card there's
an overall like something is let down about it
and i i actually played grey knights as well
i like grey knights my first army yeah i love
my love me baby carriers Love it. I love how
stupid it is. I love how stupid it is. I like
the baby carrier, I gotta be honest. I like their
other models a lot. I think they just gotta sculpt
it a little different. Don't get me wrong, I
think it's hideous, but I love it for that. Well,
yes, I know why you love it for some reason.
It's like a pug. It's barely breathing. It shouldn't
be moving. It shouldn't exist. As far as it's
too tight. Me when I exercise. Can I ask you
guys an opinion on an idea I had about the Grey
Knights in general? You've got the Secretrix,
Maledix, and Split in the Galaxy in Twain. Their
whole thing is they fight chaos. I thought it
would be really interesting. On the way to fighting
chaos, they have to get by fighting Xenos and
Heretics. They're not built for that. But they
have to get to the place they want to be, and
therefore their stories could be like, oh, we
have to ally with the Space Marine chapter. Kind
of like Pandorax. We're like, we don't really
want to be here. We don't really want to be doing
this, like, grunt work. But we have to do it
if we want to, like, get to the real objective.
That's my point, though, Andy. Like, it's in
the potential. And, like, I think they're, honestly,
they're fine where they are, I think. they're
fine where they are but again i i guess i would
put top of c personally but if it was No, we're
not doing aesthetics. Believe me, if it was aesthetics,
they'd almost all be up there. Yeah. Who is this?
Wait, wait, wait. I have to explain this. This
is Death Watch, but I picked this specific character
because this character is the last remaining
astral core, right? Oh, that's cool. This character
was in the Death Watch. before they turn traitor
and stay stuck. There is so much potential for
Death Watch, and yet... Can I... We killed the
aliens. Hang on, hang on. We killed the aliens,
and we make sure you don't kill Swinesh. Hang
on. I will try and make it quick. Let me just
argue for Bea overall. They're very cool. Like,
a Death Watch, in concept, it's not that deep.
It's kill aliens, but, like, it's such, like,
a cool little thing in lore. Grab everyone we
can, make them real good at killing aliens, go
get them. The only problem is they can't be that
deep, and they ruin the Yanari, so I hate them
for it. And also, real pet peeve, four of them
die to, like, the middest Tyranid fighters in
the intro to Space Marine 2. They are, like,
the ultimate background detail. Space Marine
2 is goofy. A Space Wolf Death Watch guy died
to one warrior? I realize I'm muted, yeah. I
was about to say, sorry. No, the opening of Space
Marine 2 is my favorite part of that game. I
think all the Death Watches suck. um but i also
i'm with colin in the sense that uh i think the
death watch are not very deep however the fact
that they come from different legions is the
selling point and that makes them interesting
i also enjoy the radical nature of them where
they are open to using strange things like xenophobes
blades and so on i find that interesting i only
think b i don't go any higher they're the they're
the ultimate background they can't go above that
Eli, have you read the short story about Solomon
Akura from the Alpha Legion? He has every name.
Let me pitch it to you, Eli, because you'll like
this, right? It's Mike Brooks' short story. It's
like a prequel to his book about Solomon Akura.
He has a tango with the Death Watch and he pits
them against each other because there's a Dark
Angel successor looking for the Fallen. I think
you told me about this before. but there's all
these different chapters who are all like we're
all united but actually we all have our own agendas
like i think there's a blood angel successor
there's a space wars and like he preys on their
weaknesses until they turn on one another and
it was so well written i was like that's fantastic
But it's not good for the Death Watch, but it
does at least add like a level of, oh, this is
an exploitable weakness of the Death Watch. That's
kind of cool. Do you know the name of this short
story? Because I want to read it. I will check.
I don't want to be this guy, but please, holy
fuck, can we move on? I'm assuming this is Ray
Corsair slash Astro Claws. B is fine. I think
Huron is cool, and that's about it. You know
what? Can we skip towards some of the Xenos?
Because we haven't even talked about the Xenos.
All right. So we got Eldar in general, Craftwelders.
Because every book that isn't a codex is bad.
I was going to say, I like Eldar. I like Eldar
in terms of their aspect warriors, general concept,
and feudal Japanese vibe. And every book I've
ever read of them has not been good. Oh, dude.
You read the Codexes? They're the coolest faction
ever. You read their books? I think C2, then.
If it's literally just Codex lore and it's just
bad book, it's just C2. Mechanicus is A. Oh,
A. They have cool moments and cool characters.
Shore Mechanics can be an A. That's fine. They're
John Warhammer. Harlequins can be an A, I guess.
They are fun. They just don't have much. Are
Harlequins in A? You're right. It's too much.
They're in the Tricari 70. They have a short
story. The characters show up a lot. Should we
just do Necrons next? Necrons are S tier. Necrons
are S tier. It's not even a question. I would
maybe put it top of S, honestly. There's not
a bad Necron book. No. The Necron lore revitalization
has been the best case of them doing a retcon,
I think, in ever. It's fantastic. It's ridiculously
good. obviously book recommendations obviously
out the wazoo is infinite divine twice dead king
i think yeah i think twice the king ruin is better
than infinite divine if i'm being honest it's
a fantastic book i don't agree with you on that
calm down eli calm down eli it's a great book
i just think that ruins does more for the necron
faction that's all i'm saying major i'm gonna
stand treason Twice Dead King gives you lore
from the entire faction in both books. It's awesome.
Severed with Zandrek. It's the best freaking
book ever. I love you Zandrek. I love you Oberon.
They're also cool when they're the villains.
Because Tau is the one where he suffers from
height. I was just going to mute and let Eli
go, but please. They're B. They're B because
the Eldar are C because they have zero good books
and good codex lore. The Tau have good codex
lore and a few good books and then a few of the
worst books in all 40k, but I think they're good
enough books puts them in B tier. Elemental Council
is really good. Fire Warrior is awesome. I have
not read Firecast, but I've heard it's really
good. Fire Warrior, the book, not the game, right?
Because the game sucks. Absolute abysmal dog
shit. Everything written by Phil Kelly is literally
awful. Almost unreadable. It's a Halo killer.
Yeah, the only thing that killed Kayla was itself.
Dude, I was a Destiny head, too. There's always
the killer. Oh, thank you so very much. Oh, it's
here. Fantastic. Cheers, my man. Cheers, Colin.
Thank you so very much. Remind the people again
what this is. Fireball, Monster Energy, Zero
Ultra, and Corona Light. And I have a lemon wedge
as well. Salud. Hail to the Infinite Empire.
That's right. what's his name he's a name this
doesn't suck this is good no it's not horrible
it's bad and like uh you keep drinking it you're
gonna keep drinking it and it's gonna get slowly
worse no i mean i will not feel good after this
but it's good no it's it's not horrible in a
lot as much as you know i played it up a bit
it isn't horrible this is actually quite good
the worst part of it is the corona the corona
is the worst part really the funny I would recommend
a, uh, if you ever had Coke and fireball and
Coke. Oh yeah. I mean the college days, my college
days were much cheaper than yours. Oh God. Now.
Oh yeah. Nowadays. No, but these damn, uh, these
damn Brits were trying to get me to have Sambuca
all the time. Dog shits. It's the worst drink
I've ever had in my life. It's terrible. Sambuca
sucks. I'm sorry. I saw that you were trying
to do some donations, Andy, I assume. Well, we
can get for a few. There's not many. Okay, but
we are in agreement. Necrons are top, yeah? Yeah.
Excellent. Good, good. They are the rivals of
the other real faction, the Illgar. So we got
RT -23 for five. Guys, Ultramarines, Laura's
S. Meanwhile, Kalgar 1v1 the Lord of Skulls and
Uriel beat a Catan Shard. Actually, no. Law of
Crime, Uriel did not beat a Catan Shard. That
was Cato Sicarius. That doesn't... I like Kalgar
more than Cato Sicarius. Look, I'm just saying,
how many other factions have a Marvel comic?
It's none. Calgar has aura, man. Calgar has the
most aura in all of 40k. Calgar is a force of
nature. He's a brick house that just goes. Reminder,
Mortarion got wrecked by Garrow and Drago. And
Jagatai. Jagatai, absolutely, yeah. Verbally
and physically. Yeah. An eggplant for five. Diggy,
why put Mongolian space marines defending your
version of the Great Wall of China? Don't worry
about it. Don't worry about it. Curious. Imperial
Fisk has a poop fault. Skibbity Fisk. H3277 Harold.
Fiverr, in my defense, been build up the bug
since 2019. Hey, man, good for you. LME Monsters
and the edgy boys simple as ignore the six other
armies. Too true. I own all of them. Yeah, I
know how you beat. I know how that beat. Vin
with the tenor, first time catching y 'all live.
Now, Colin, tell Ricky how the Leagues of Otan
are just religious sci -fi caradron overlords.
That's cool. That's sick as hell. I like the
idea. They got the cool balloons and shit. I'm
fine with that. Both of those factions are sick,
and I'll die on that hill. I'm going to read
this one. Xenon, Andy can vouch. I can't always
attend the live shows, but thank you all for
this gathering. Among us, twerk, bricky nose.
I really like sending the twerking among us gif.
I love that gif. It's the only gif in my favorites
on Discord. Yeah, it's a great gif. Is it coming
back around to being funny again? It was always
funny, Hal. It was never funny. Because it's
not funny, it's now funny. The audience finds
it funny. It's a Tommy Wiseau effect. Eli, the
next couple? Anzer, Ron, Ninger the Five. Glad
to finally catch you all live. Thank you, Colin.
Colon, sorry, for the Battletech addiction. So
happy to help. Iron Warriors are S -tier Iron
Caves. That's right. Number one win against those
Cringe Fists. Cool job. Carl, this is for you.
Hey Colin, it's time for you to say the uwu magic
rar uwu xd owo meow owo meow uwu neko uwu chan
tihi uwu uwu ihi kawaii. I'm not proud of myself
for being able to read that out without stuttering,
but it's the internet. It is what it is. Shout
out to the grandkids in Barris. I don't give
a shit. I'm going to pay for the grandkids' future,
so fuck off. And Hal, this one's for you. Oh.
Name is Chomsky putting Leagues of Wotan above
Salamanders' Diamond Bombers. No, it's deserved.
Leagues of Wotan have one okay book. Salamanders
have five bad ones. 550. I'd rather trap my foreskin
in a door than read a Salamanders novel. Drukari?
I love their trilogy. I think the Drukari are
A -tier. I think they're actually very good.
The Big Daka, the Orc book, was a fantastic Drukari
book. I think even ignoring The Drukhari are
the one Xenos faction GW has written so well
and to form that they're like the only ones that
the standard Imperium fan is like, yeah, they're
horrifying. You blow your head off before a Dark
Eldar captures you. Anyone will admit that. And
the fact that they've been able to do that and
make that attitude a thing, I think speaks volumes
for how well they've written the Drukhari. Isn't
it crazy how my favorite... dark elder stuff
is in an orc book because yeah the big the big
daca is an amazing part where he um where he
talks in the jail cell with the archon is like
the best it's it's a phenomenal exchange like
he's souped up so he's even bigger like in the
cave yeah he's like really smart now and he's
like oh if i die who cares i went out fighting
and this archon is like that i i've i cannot
fathom this this line of thinking you know, a
peace offering in one hand and knife in the other.
They're, you know, they're no dark elves, but
they're still awesome. Even though Malekith is
not the Phoenix King. I will say, Bricky, though,
if I was to recommend one book, check out Lucas
the Trickster, because there's a guy in it called
Saliscus, and he's like, I don't wear the same
clothes day to day. And I'm like, oh, where will
we go raiding? Why not the homeworld of the Space
Wolves? That sounds fun. So I think you'll like
it. It's funny. Should we speedrun a few of these?
Yunari or F? Yunari or F? Straight to the bottom.
I wanted them to be good. They are the potential
man of 40k. Assassin or Kingmaker? Okay. Assassin
or Kingmaker is an incredible book. That's where
my praise ends. They can't go above C. What about
the Horus Heresy book? I like the Horus Heresy
book. Oh yeah, the one where they try to kill
Horace is cool. Horace's book is pretty good.
It's an arm of the Lord of Terror. Hey, Andy,
can I sum up their Horace Hersey real book? You
know, we're going to try and kill Horace. Oh
no, we know how it ends. No, we're not. Thanks.
Can we give them a passing grade at least? They
can have C, that's fine. The two books or whatever
that they have? It's great. I'd put them right
there. I feel like they have a similar thing
with Death Note. They're one of the coolest features
of 40k. They're great villains. They're aesthetically
lovely. Oh, yeah. But by the inherent nature
of their faction, every story about them goes
two ways. You lose, or the Tyranids eat you.
She flies away to go talk to other people. She
lives in that book. As a faction, that is the
true end result. That's what makes them so awesome.
As a background thing, I love them as a part
of 40k. I think as books, there's a limit. My
biggest problem with the Genestealer cults is
that the way they've written them is the Imperium
should basically not exist anymore because there's
Genestealer cults across the entirety of the
Imperium. It's like, what the heck? So you lose,
but if you win, you get eaten. Yeah. You're unified
with the angels, man. To the holy pilgrimage.
Here's a question, though, because we have to
rate these simultaneously. Are we putting Tyranids
in F? Or, like, how do we do that? Because Genestealer
cults, their lore is not their lore. Their lore
is the lore of Hivescum. It's the lore of citizenry,
right? Which is not, like, the same. Like, bear
in mind, next month I'm going to be doing Tyranid
-only content. And it's just, like, Gribbly monsters
and, like... So, a week? Yeah. I'm stretching
it to a month. But it's, like, it's Gribbly Ribblies
and then there's, like, three guys who have names
that aren't Gribbly Ribblies. And it's, like,
the problem with Tyranids is that they're just
Gribbly Ribblies. And so... Yes, the Genestealer's
cool, but they're destined to become food for
the Gribbly Ribblies. I think Genestealer's cool
because there is, again, it's the same thing
with the Death Watch thing. There's an overall
cool factor where it adds to Warhammer lore,
but it suffers from the fact of it doesn't really
have what would be traditional character development
or other exciting things. There are examples
of it. I'm not saying, you know, preparing it
or anything, but it's just like... It's held
back from the upper echelon. So I put it right
next to it. You know what? Right next to Death
Watch, hilariously. Yeah, that's what I was saying.
I think you deserve it. I'll give it. I'll allow
it. They're just people. And people have interesting
stories. So I think that's fine. So where are
the nids? Do we even have nids on this list?
They're combined. Oh, they're combined. Oh, and
then they're going down. That's crazy. What the
heck? No, no, no. Hang on. Tyranids belong right
next to Death Watch. They are the ultimate, like,
threat. They are the ultimate background feature
of 40K. You cannot write a book for Tyranids,
which is why they can't go above B tier. They're
so cool in overall lore concept. I think they
belong in B tier. You know what I'd love to see?
Tyranids. being like consuming a problem we're
like oh we are so we we consume some black templars
so we're going to fight in the name of the emperor
and we don't quite know why but we've assimilated
that and so we think that's a part of our identity
or that's a thing that goes against yeah what
we need is more people fighting for the emperor
that's what we need we need some wild cards for
the tyranids because otherwise it's just you
know where you can find that necromunda I think
the Norn emissaries and stuff is a huge... We'll
leave them there. So we're doing orcs now, yeah?
I want to put my stamp on this. I want to put
it... I want to put it just under guard because
I... get giddy. I don't think that's guard. I
think that's silence cave. No, that's specifically
Caiaphas cave. That being said, I would put guard
there too. I would put guard on top of this.
I think guard are the top of this. Wait, hold
on. Let's roll back really big. Okay, so why
orcs there? Because there's the genius part.
I guess from my own perspective, I've always
loved character. Character is always king in
anything. And just... I've never really been
let down by a normal character in Sunset. Even
though it's more like the Necrons, there's more
recent additions like with Infinite Divine. Uftak
Bone Ripper's two books have come out. I always
put it in the must read. Uftak Bone Ripper? No,
Black Hawk. Black Hawk, sorry. You're right.
It's Uftak Black Hawk. Black Hawk. You've got
the first name and last name mixed up. Bone Ripper
is Sam Cole's mount. That's what I was thinking
of. You've gone to the wrong set up. But yes,
Ooftuck, Blackhawk, the Big Doc, etc. With his
snazzammer. And his squig. And the boffin. The
communist uprising. between i've been going through
the i've been going through the red gobo collection
and i'm in the book too and i'm like i had no
idea about these guys but i do like how like
the first book is all like oh yeah we're just
gonna have an uprising and then the second was
like well who's in charge it's like well i am
i don't know about that i like how they're just
always infighting even when they got what they
want easily summarized but space marine one story
is is not is a story that exists for the game
right every time grim skull is on screen in space
marine one it's a treat yeah or orcs as just
on a video concept as a lore concept orcs haven't
figured out they they know exactly what they
are what they're supposed to be they don't complicate
it that's why i think st is this this will be
one of the few times i admit i i have to give
40k over fantasy credit they perfected orcs within
40k There's no dancing. This has no bearing on
this gear list. I went through Grotsnik's recent
book and there's a brief moment where they're
like, how do Umis procreate? And Grotsnik is
like... it's disgusting you don't want to know
oh wow that's amazing um one of the best parts
for me a small little bit is when in the big
daca when the boffin who's the mech has like
a one wheel and he rides around on it and he
replaces it with like a dark eldar jet thing
And Uvtuk is like, why you still have the wheel
then? He's like, well, you know, Spikey gets
this shit kind of sucks, so if they fail, he's
like, so I got the wheel. And he's just like,
that shit is just fantastic. Certified General
Grievous logic right there. I have my big wheel.
My lady. Sisters of Awesome. I've never had a...
I kind of one note, but they always do that one
note. Have you read Faith and Fire? It's so amazing.
It's an amazing book. It's like the only one.
Game Swallow. I'm going to say something. If
I hear James Swallow again, I'm going to swallow
this podcast. I'm going to say something. Some
people might take issue with this, but I think
sisters do the humanity hell yeah thing better
than the guard. And I think in terms of potential,
the sisters could be easily S tier. But Games
Workshop loves to have them killed in the background
or... not appreciated as much as marines i don't
think they can do humanity hell yeah as good
because the guard is like the the guard is like
it's true that is well it's just what they are
like the reason i say that is within like 40k's
mechanics oh like the zealots type and anyone
could like manifest faith like they do they just
take it so far that they're most known for it
there's no like major genetic fuckery going into
them they're just they're just insane yeah they're
just that cooked which like i mean like you know
peak what can humans do in 40k is the sisters
They're the perfect faction for 40k, too. They
are the Imperium. They're the Imperium to the
nth degree. The Book of Martyrs is good fun because
it's three different characters, and all of them
die at the end of their stories, which is why
it's called The Book of Martyrs. But one of them
kills an Ethereal, and she's just so angry, and
I love it. She intentionally mispronounced their
names because she's just so spiteful. Every piece
of dialogue from a Sister of Battle main character
goes hard. every single piece of dial everything
these women say is so freaking cool here's the
here's the weird part because i'm often i'm often
like a sister simp as well because like i love
sisters one of my favorite factions i play them
all the time my only reason that i think is keeping
them from est here is the simple fact that i
think a lot of their books fall flat um i think
they only have a couple good ones and they are
also a little one note at times i will also say
oh no It's perfectly placed in the tier list
where it is, where the novels of the Death Guard,
some of them will eclipse the Sisters ones, but
overall, the Sisters as a total package is probably
slightly better than the things that have come
before it. Yeah, I will say... Andy, you first.
Andy, you go now. Andy, you now. All I'm going
to say is I really like Ephriel Stern's book,
and I like how there's a chaos sister about good
stuff here. Sorry, it's good. I think it's a
very bold decision to make the mostly all, like,
female faction of the Imperium be, like, arguably
the most... disgusting and hateful and like like
awful every time you read a sister's codex you're
like yeah and then they all cheered as they like
ripped the heretics limb from limb and and they
are saying for him as the emperor i'm like this
this is fucking awesome here's the penitent engine
get get wire into that and go scream at the british
hooligans they they are i like kind of way they
are the nth degree of i was just following orders
but they genuinely believe everything you do
which is amazing they're so cool they're great
they're great i just think they need some better
stories because they can be a bit yeah and like
to say with that like they're one they've like
they've got double one note because all i think
the only ordo like gdo is aware of is the order
of our martyred lady I think they forget there
are other Sisters of Battle orders. Dude, Valorous
Heart and Argent Shroud are super cool. So many
are so cool, but you have one. Sacred Rose! My
army's painted Sacred Rose. Hell yeah. I mean,
Argent Shroud is where Marvin of All is from,
which I think is sick. It's a cool concept. The
other thing limiting them, they do, but I...
There's so many little background lore of like,
the Imperium is every human culture ever and
so much more. Every sister of battle is gothic
super soldier, which I love, but I would kill
for like a Buddhist sister of battle or something
like that. You could do so much with the concept
of faith and they don't do it. They don't do
it. They believe in the emperor. They believe
in the emperor. And give like a censored like
bo staff. Yeah, they believe in the emperor,
but there's so much like little background lore
of the religion of the Imperium is 10 million
different faiths all jumbled together. It's true,
but I think the sisters are a bit more unified.
they are they normally are taken into the scola
and then like indoctrinated through there so
you could still do it make it like some small
sect in a backwater region you could do it and
i'm kind of like i would agree I will say, fellas,
who of these factions do you think you have the
most to talk about? Why are there two Inquisitions,
is my question. There's Inquisition, there's
the Navy. That's the Navy. We're on the Navy?
The Navy? It might as well be the Guard. Hold
on, you've got the Navy, the Guard, and rogue
traitors all as separate things? I know they're
a faction. It's factions. I am the biggest Rogue
Traders defender. First edition 40k. I wish Rogue
Traders were still the main characters. They're
not a faction. They never have been a faction.
They're an A -model kit. They have a game. Sort
of the rejects. Get it together for me. Alright,
alright. We'll pay you. I'm going to put the
Navy and the Rogue Traders in F tier. Inquisition?
I need a we. Go ahead, Andy. Inquisition in S
tier, I think, is okay. They are also the Imperium.
Incarnate. And all of its different opinions.
And they have amazing characters. You get like
Amberly Vale sometimes. You get a whole bunch
of stuff. And Inquisitor Karamazov. The coolest
model ever made. A particular shout out as well.
The strength of... I don't know if everyone has
in here read it, but the Eisenhorn Trilogy. Well,
actually it has four books now. And then the
Beckwin stuff and all that stuff. the strength
of like what is the human story throughout like
again like we all like this the space rings are
beyond our experience but as in obviously i'm
not you know i'm not literally battling demons
unless it's on the bloody loo um but you know
uh you know shout out to clean bowel movements
in your 30s bro and loving it um but the inquisition
stories and it sounds like the eisenhorn strength
really is the sort of like the rotten degeneration
of characters where they start off as something
pure and noble and you're sure of yourself and
it turns into you know like light with life thing
that as you get older you kind of you're so sure
of yourself you see things in black and white
and it's like you know it's this way or the highway
and then when you get older you're realizing
the shades do really be gray and it's a great
like this even though dan abnett wrote that in
bloody what 2000 or something 25 years ago god
damn i'm old um yeah but the thing is it's such
like it's it's the it's the distilled essence
of 40k and it's like it's it's the thing that
everything else is built around so it just has
to be i think i think i do like a lot of things
in s bit more but i would put it just under where
are we putting it i'm fine with under orcs it
is the inquisition is that tend to mount to what
warhammer is in a way you know ignoring ignoring
the months of shame they always make inquisitors
scary when they show up there is never and there's
almost otherwise never a book where an inquisitor
shows up and you're not like oh yeah i mean i
i'll read like a like a crime novel or something
and if someone flashes the inquisitorial rosette
you're like oh yeah you're like oh my god you
know can i can i ask a question to the to the
floor okay Has anyone heard of Inquisitor Roth?
R -O -T -H. Okay, I thought you were going to
do W -R -A -T -H, and I was like, no, they can't
do this. I just learned about slaughter in the
War of the Beasts. I can't do this. No, I do
not know. Maybe from you mentioning it previously.
Obi -Wan Clouseau. Well, yeah, he's peak. Come
on. Wait, wait, wait. Clouseau is great. Right
up there with Marco Colombo. He has a trilogy.
He has an octopus. I've never heard of him. And
the writer who wrote him has never written anything
else. What a hero. He got his back from GW and
left. Hold on real quick. Let's put Rogue Traders
and Navy in B because they don't deserve F. It's
too random. Who's the random lady beside the
demons? I think that's supposed to be Rogue Traders.
Navigators? I knew it was going to be Navigators.
I knew it. What do you mean? What do I mean?
They're not a faction. They have a book. they're
part of the navy a lot of people have a book
They have a few books. What do you mean, Andy?
Put them on the Navy. They're a part of the Navy.
They're part of the Navy. Just put them on the
Navy. They are part of the Navy. Like, what the
heck? Can we also put the Sisters of the Island
with the custodians as well? Yes, let's put them
with the custodians. I thought that was an Eldar
looking at it for the longest time. No, it's
Genesia Kroll. They are a real faction that exists.
What do you want about? Come on. Wherever the
sisters or the custodians are, put them next
to it. Put them in seats here. Yeah, the sisters.
I love the custodians. I love the sisters. I
love the custodians, but they're deployed. at
the same time. They're the same faction. They
work together all the time. If we're putting
Navigators, Rogue Traders, and fucking the Navy
together, we're putting them together. Grown
men arguing ASMR? This is Warhammer lore in a
nutshell, man. It's a bunch of grown dudes yelling
at each other. That's the world. I didn't see
no custodians during the flight of the Eisensteins.
I'm just saying, between the flight of us as
well? Between the five of us, we're somewhat
filling in the gaps, but there's so much we're
all just like, eh. We're just high -ranking.
Can I argue for Custodes and Sisters of Silence?
Only really having, I think, at most three strong
novels. In a general sense, quite cool. I do
like their thing going on. But as in the... Not
Vault of Terror. Watch of the Throne. Watch of
the Throne, two novels which are very interesting,
and Master of Mankind, Horus Heresy novel. That's,
as we've talked about other factions here, that's
kind of the only strength. And again, some of
their scenes are incredible, but I would really,
really strongly argue it only kind of goes just
under Harlequins. Amandera Kendall has stuff,
and Janisha Kroll is in the season of Error.
I'm just saying, Sisters of Silence have more
lore than the Custodians. They just do. They
have more lore. And it's good. Yeah, yeah, put
them above. Yeah, I'm with Colin on this one.
You guys are too mean to call, and I tell you
what, he's my goat. He's my goat. He's got some
great ideas, alright? We love him. We love him,
and kiss him goodnight every night. Do you not
like dreadnoughts, Colin? Oh, I love dreadnoughts.
Oh, thank God. Yes, they're great. Dreadnoughts
are great. I think every time someone says the
same dreadnought, but with a new gun on it, it's
a different dreadnought. No. Oh, that's a model
maker stupid. Yeah, that's a different argument.
But I love dreadnoughts. It's just under Harlequins.
It's not better than Harlequin lore. It's not.
They're just like random dudes. There's too many
things holding it back. Knights are C tier. Okay,
you're no longer my go. You're washed out of
your mind. Hang on, hang on. I wasn't done. It's
because I associate them with my least favorite
Battletech faction. I know I'm going very biased.
Speaking of Battletech, we got Knights. What
are our opinions on that? I'm fine with it. I
say that. I do like Imperial Knights. I'll be
honest. I've read all of Andy Clark's books other
than his Knight trilogy, and that's his best
work, so that's kind of unfair. But other than
his books, they're just kind of there occasionally,
which is a bit of a shame. I would imagine the
best Knight book is Assassinorm Kingmaker. I
think Mechanicum's really good. It's a really
good night book. And there's the Armageddon,
Third War of Armageddon. It's two of them that
are part of the Third War of Armageddon. It's
going to go in the list where it's basically
just cooler than the thing below it. And I don't
know if I can put Nights cooler than Ultramarines,
but I know it's cooler than Dark Angels. I think
Nights are a great backdrop. Because the concept
of a knight, like a knightly household of a bunch
of dudes who are dickheads but can back it up,
piloting robots. And inbred. And inbred, piloting
robots. And like, all right. It's just kind of,
I don't know. I think they're really, really
cool, but there's not enough. You know, I need
more. They have like the Votan problem where
I think there's more. What's the next one, Andy?
Is this just chaos? That's just chaos, and I'm
going to add Dark Mechanicus. I've got an angry
opinion for Dark Mechanicus. Who cares? I would
love to see more, but they're nothing right now.
Sorry. Demons are really cool, but they're all
really one -dimensional, naturally. I think demons
go way out here, because demons are much well
-read -er -bidden and read -er -bidden, Jesus
Christ. Better written? In every piece of fantasy
lore in Age of Sigmar lore ever, and then you
go to 40K, and then GW can't write beyond, actually,
it was demons the whole time. That is a big one.
I will agree with you on that one. But consider
this, Vashtor the goat. I do like Vashtor a lot.
I like Vashtor a lot. Consider Samus is here.
Samus is the man beside you. Yeah, unfortunately,
Samus falls into the category of, like, warp
nonsense, where he was always here, but he was
never here, but he was Garvio Loken getting backstabbed
at birthdom. Or was it like Super Mario Land
2? It was all a dream. Listen, he starts in Horus
Rising, but the only... horror's heresy but i've
managed to make colin reed shout to uh lodge
cast because that's the only time he'll ever
read it i made him watch it for a podcast i'll
read another one if you know you you betrayed
me you gotta read these things where like i just
like in particularly an audiobook form a lot
of the demon stuff hits a bit harder i understand
like there's a lot of there's a lot of what i
can only describe is you know You know what I
mean? You order takeout food and you get a fucking
turd. It's delivered in the worst way possible.
What are you talking about, man? What the hell
are you saying, man? What do you mean? Bro, I
promise you, it's nearly two in the morning for
me, I'm delirious. I need to get to it. Okay,
I thought like... Okay, first things first. The
best Stark Mechanicus character is Deltrian from
the Nightlord trilogy. We can skip past that
one. With his little window wiper eyes, isn't
it? Yeah, yeah, with his little jewel eyes. They're
funny side characters. Well, Hal is the Fabricator
General. No one cares. No, no one cares about
the Fabricator General guy. No. But, like, demon,
I don't know, like, if we're putting orcs so
high, demons are, as a nature, a one -note, god
-specific, their point is this, that's it. I'm
not arguing for S. I'm arguing for, like, blow
B, high C. I agree. They're cool villains. It
goes C. I feel like they're not as compelling
as... black hearts downfall but they're kind
of more than like i'm a rich kid in space we
will we we were like i feel like that's a good
clip that's a sound bite right there all right
can we put can i as one request can we put guard
to the top of s tier and then we can be done
Eli, listen, you're a man after my own heart,
but I'm not putting anything above Necrons. Necrons
are my favorite faction. They are the rightful
rulers of the galaxy. But no book has ever made
me feel emotions like a Mario Kart book has.
Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, Necropolis. Yeah, Necropolis
goes insane. Eli, Eli, Eli. How many Caiaphas
Kane books versus God generic? I gotta be honest,
I don't think there's as many guard generic books
as we think there are. There's a decent amount.
There's one for like every major regiment, which
is like 20 already. He's read the Talon stuff.
Talon made me cry. Deadman Walking also made
me cry. No other book has made me cry. Not even
Necropolis? I haven't read that one. Fulgur makes
me tear. I need to go touch grass after this.
this is too much this is too much I love Warhammer
obviously more than anything but my god am I
have I just that's a lot of plastic this is what
happens this is how I see myself saying because
I play like other things well speaking of we
are in the depths I have one question I must
ask every guest. Ricky, you get an upgraded version
of this question, because I will admit I watched
your Zombies videos, and you and another person
convinced me on giving Black Ops 3 and 4 a chance.
I did not want you to play 4. It was just 3,
but that works. 3 was you. 4 was the other guy,
Arthur Bones. Dead of Night's pretty good. It's
good, so I'm going to instead ask you the next
tier. uh -huh what's the best wonder weapon in
terms of power or fun either because power is
a power is a slick with fire from black ops 2
die rise because it's the only one that you can
fully infinitely use like it's the best possible
let's but it's but it's horribly boring oh yeah
um let's go let's go let's go fun because i've
got my easy answer but honestly my easy answer
is the um is the origin staffs You know what?
That's a respectable answer. I find them to just
be very fun. I like to change up options and
try different things. It's very enjoyable. I
like the general feel. Alright, you know what?
I like that answer. That's fair. Yeah, Dr. Maxis.
Yeah, so bizarre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Origins is
the best zombies map. I've seen all that. I have
to... Wait, is Origins... Are you okay with the
stuff? The Origins cutscene is peace. That intro
was the best thing. Oh, yeah. Is that the one
where you get the stuff and you combine the stuff?
Yeah, it's the stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's
my favorite map, too. Yeah. It goes like this.
It goes Origins, Mob of the Dead, and then...
I can't pronounce Russian. Oh, mine's not even
on your list. This conversation's dropping rapidly.
Which one's yours? I like the race from... world
of war yeah it's oh oh i love that map i can't
wait to stand in a catwalk from around 15 up
yeah it's great you know what yeah absolutely
nothing no you are insane i like twins it's great
it's great listen aesthetically it's lovely it
was great for you when you were 11 it's not it
doesn't and it's still great for me No, it needs
more. And the Wunderwaffe is the best wonder
weapon. Yes, Wunderwaffe. I know, it's great.
It's a lovely weapon. 15 kills guaranteed with
one shot. Don't you know that I am the prize?
Yes, it's been a hot minute. What's the Lovecraft
one? Shadows of Evil. That's one of my favorites.
That's a great map. That's a map you've got to
try again. That's the map that started them where
it's like, oh, how do I pack a punch? Well, you
got to do 10 backflips, backwards long jump up
the catwalk, jerk off a horse. As someone who
got to weigh 50 on Moon doing the... I'm just
sorry for you. What do you think of Moon? Moon
has an insane aesthetic. It has a really great
look and general concept. And the zap gun is
great. The problem is the... fucking excavators.
Then you play Moon. It's the goddamn where you're
like, oh, I got to take my helmet off to get
this little hacking device to stop them from
destroying my entire train loop. Moon is just
like, Moon is inconvenience after inconvenience.
Do you know what I mean? You exercise the girl
of Richtofen and then you have the girl on your
squad. The Easter egg doesn't count. What it
will always come down to is something that Brookie
said in another video. It's going to be... art
direction over anything else the maps i will
always remember will be things that had a stunning
like unique direction to it you can't be I don't
care. Like, the gameplay for zombies is not why
we're there generally. Well, I don't agree with
you on that one. Okay, you're going too far.
Also, if we're going direction -wise, The Ultimate
Decider is the best song, and Kino Dirt Toten
has continued to be unmatched. You know what?
I will agree with you. It's a top three. I'm
actually a big Dead Flower, Zetsubou, Noshimo
fan. I... I... So, okay, here's my hot take.
Here's my hot take. Zetsubou no Shimo is a great
map, but it is one of the worst solo experiences
out there. If you have your friends, it's absolutely
fantastic. That's fair. Yeah, no, I played it.
I've only played it with friends. You know, it's
fun. Nice foresight, Eli. Thank you. I'm bored.
I'm showing the chat. What's your opinion of
Shangri -La? I didn't paint this. My friend painted
it. What's your opinion of Shangri -La? That's
a good map. I think Shangri -La is abysmal dog
shit. It's the worst map they've ever made. It's
absolutely terrible. Absolutely terrible. There
is no way to make me want to not play zombies
with my friends and to see the host load up Shangri
-La. Now, Ascension. Ascension is a very good
map. Anyway, we're going to be rambling for like
two more hours. We have a question of the week
for a long time. No, we'll do it later. That's
next week. We have some donations to go through,
so a couple each. Mr. Botchamania. Calgar's comic
literally stole his backstory from an Iron Handbook.
It did. Yeah, but his is cooler. Yeah, it was.
Declan Ellery for 10. Just learned that a new
Necron book came out literally yesterday, so
I know what I'm doing off the stream. Also, Bricky,
I want you to know that I think Manfred would
be a great Night Lord. Manfred's a bitch -ass
motherfucker. He's not good enough to be a Night
Lord. Oh, man. I feel like a lot of Night Lords
can fall into that description. You're right.
I think it's for me. It was the shit comment.
Oh, yeah, probably. Most likely. Document USA
has like two hours of Hal saying stuff. Ricky,
Ricky, please read Spear of Faith. Call Rackle
Wins. This isn't English. Those were words. Maybe
it's Estia for producing Abelard. Actually, Brayden,
I just got a message from Discord. Brayden's
really angry that we were ranking the Navy low
because Navy does have some books in the good.
Navy's fine, but I'm more angry that Andy even
put it on there. Yeah, me too. Wait, wait, wait.
Why? Why? Because when we think of factions in
Warhammer, you tend to think about particular
things that can be played. Yeah. Yeah. And Imperial
Navy Breachers does not count. Andy, have you
met a human being who's... I'm pretty sure they
had their own game mode devoted to them. Yeah,
have you met a human being who's... Is it called
Warhammer 40K? Battlefleet Gothic. Yeah, have
you met one human being who's played Battlefleet
Gothic? That doesn't... Raiden. Raiden's played
Aeronautica. It still exists. Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
What game mode is Navigator? What's the Navigator?
Navigator's crazy, by the way. Navigator. Navigator
is called Colin's waifu, Rogue Trader from Owlcat
Games. Yeah, yeah, she's great. She's great.
Who cares? She's not a faction. She's not a faction.
And they have an entire book for them. Cassie's
great. Abelard's great. You know, Abelard would
be my dad, Cassie would be my wife. Easy. And
no other faction has navigators that they talk
about. The divorce dad's conference is getting
wild this year. Anyway, Colin. What? What? shrine
maiden sisters of battle 1gw thank you nuts we
can only hope we can only hope well i mean that
one should probably be easy though just put like
a mass wait calling you're that you're the history
guy right yes what what are those really big
balls um don't go with this uh that monks wear
around their necks i'm already failing unfortunately
medieval history and catholicism is not my forte
ah shit i was just thinking like sisters but
instead of like the balls like incense containers
like a nice terrible i can look up balls monk
swear but i don't know if that's gonna give me
what i want balls anyway how you're the you're
the left for that guy right chomsky this shit
oh my god i don't think i can do this glory be
to the hunters was it no miss chomsky lads thank
you for the stream i haven't laughed that long
In a hard time. Sadly, since it's 2 .30am and
I have work at 7, I must go home. Thanks for
sticking around. Bless your soul. I wish you
all a great rest of the day. Bricky, keep up
the good work. Thanks, man. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
I don't even know what that is. Which of you
are keeping up with the Warhammer conference?
What? I keep up with nothing. I don't even read
new books. I only keep up with my credit checks
and my alimony. I don't give a hell. Five guys
in a room trying to make videos about stuff.
There's nothing professional really about this.
Hey, Hal, I write scripts. I did. Thank you for
the $5. I did not know Hal was so white he can
reflect the sun. I'm so white I got off with
a warning. I was looking tired right now. You're
looking tired, man. You've changed from the start
of the stream. You look really tired. Andy, Rara
at 666 says, Andy, if consider rogue traders
and navigators a faction, where are the exodites,
individual guard factions, necromunda factions,
and trader guard? Where is my trader guard? Trader
guard books, right? Dynasties. Let me answer
that piece by piece. Exodites, bring me a book.
You ain't got nada. Individual guard factions.
I've got a third -party model. That's from Toy
Story. Don't you give me that bullshit. I saw
that. Oh, it's the chicken guy from Toy Story.
Oh, fuck off. Individual guard regiments are
encompassed in the guard regiment. You cannot
couple. the navigators into the guard because
they don't fight. And Necromunda, no one cares
about Necromunda. I'm gonna fucking kill you.
These reasonings are getting more and more stable.
We could use all those reasonings and say we
should have had the chapters or legions. All
I'm saying is... I've never heard of an Eldar
Navigator or an Ekron Navigator. Because they
don't need them. Exactly! Oh, the lesser races
are fighting again. Boys, it's going to be Stringer
versus Rope in a bit. Come on. I'm just saying,
we had a novel that talked about their entire
hierarchy, and they were also in the Ragnar Blackman
books as a whole bespoke thing. You're wrong.
We got far, Sears. Thank you. We have a question
of the week after this. What is Kaiju Blue? Thank
you all very much for coming to this stream and
thank you very much for Bricky. It has to be
a thing. The last thing. Bricky, would you if
you had the ability to double jump in real life,
but The second jump, you shit yourself every
time. Do you take this? Absolutely. Why wouldn't
you take it? Why wouldn't you take it? This is
a stupid question. This is a stupid question.
Here's why it's a stupid -ass question. Here's
why it's stupid, right? Because you said you
can double jump. so i can just if i can just
never do if i want to and then and then i can
do circus acts for people and make a fuckload
of money and just shit myself i'm like i don't
care ma 'am if someone's like here here's a quarter
million dollars like like spread trowel on camera
like i'll do it for me there is there's no like
okay if i need to double jump yeah it's worth
shitting myself yeah You need to, like, make
there be a chance that you poo your pants. Like,
what is the need of this? I'm going to get hit
by a car or I shit my pants. Would you step on
this puppy for $77 trillion? Dude, I'm going
to Adam Smasher, like, Rebecca Landon that fucking
puppy and then shit on her. You can have, like,
a suppository diuretic and then you'd be fine
for the whole day and you'd double jump to your
heart's content. Yes, Eli. God forbid a brother
say something. You asked the question, Hal! You
asked the question! DK said no. He was tripping.
Don't forget the question of the week after this.
I don't think this is a question of the week
episode. Can we get an official stat from Spinosaurus?
Huge. I love dinosaurs. I know. Stonies is the
coolest thing until a prime record shines them.
You're wrong on so many accounts. You're coping
on the Valerian Alea books. That's it. Sorry.
Oh, they are great. Bricky, bricky. High five.
Ready? Three, two, one. Good man. Wait, I could
do like a smiling friends bit. See, you would
shit yourself. You would find a way to shit yourself.
This is normal. We cannot undo this. I've died.
We've had a lovely time, everyone. It's been
two and a half hours for one tier list. I know,
it's nuts. Sorry, Ricky. No, man. This is my
people. I'm not beating the Warhammers. I'm making
Warhammers sillier allegations. This is damn,
damn true across the board. We've been beating
those allegations for two years now. This is
great. I think I can speak for all of us. Thank
you so much for being on the pod. I think it's
been absolute luck. It's been absolutely lovely
to have you. Me and Amber King have met Ricky
in person. It's a very fun time. Mind your own
business. But other than that, would you like
to... How was it? Did you have a good time? Do
you have any last words? Okay, okay. In the serious
actual thing, thank you very much for inviting
me. It was a lovely time. I genuinely had a blast.
It was very great to meet everyone and put faces,
I mean, obviously with the two of you, but faces
to Colin and Eli, of course. I always enjoy,
as a lot of you know, I'm very much a... a much
more like get a foot in the door type thing when
it comes to a lot of 40k lore. And so it's really
enjoyable to be able to share that same enjoyment
with people who are in a similar vein and or
much heavier diehards of the world, particularly
Andy and Hal from your large amounts of read
content. So it's always nice to kind of put myself
and my own ideas to the forge, to the anvil.
Just to like really kind of double check things.
For example, I actually am kind of interested
in the Iron Hand stuff now. Because I would have
never believed you in the world. But people probably
don't, they don't read Iron Hand's books. You're
correct. And that's a concern that you have is
now opening up something for me. So it's very
interesting. I'm very excited for it. Eli has
some base takes. And honestly, Colin, congrats
on the pregnancy, dude. Thanks. I'm expecting
any day now. I just got pinged in our Discord.
When am I giving birth? so huge and can i stream
it pardon me no of course uh but no genuinely
thank you all very much um i'm not going to do
the shout out stuff it's you can find me you
know who you are that's not true uh but every
single like handle i own is just at bricky so
it's easy you know so yeah massive thank you
d again warhammer lore is like really um stupid
yeah yeah i love it man i love the thought the
great thing always about it is like it's generally
about your it's a lot if everyone watches a pub
quiz on this channel you'll discover like between
four people who do it every single day we are
really like it's sometimes we get it like law
crimes literally yeah so as in like is i just
love even with like it does just the pure stupidity
the depth and the amazing thing about warhammer
and it's good to you know find it in common with
people who literally opposite sides of the world
and everyone is enjoying this thing that's the
thing boys if everyone's listening at home thank
you guys for listening for watching Hope you
guys all enjoyed that. And hopefully, you know,
everyone out there who's obviously, you know,
we've all worked normal jobs, all of us have
that. So if you're, you know, out there grinding,
do your normal job or something like that, you
know, hopefully made your day a bit better, man.
So we'll see you guys all very, very soon. Check
us out on the discord. If you want to join for
stupid. We'll, we'll, we'll get that king of
the hill stuff made. Don't you worry. And we'll
see you guys on the next one then. Peace. Thanks.
Bye everybody.