WEBVTT

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Hello, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

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It is us. It is Law Crimes. Oh, what's that,

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Eli? What's in your hand? You're muted. You're

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muted, bubby. A doom sight for the better. Very

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nice. How are you all? All good? All good? I'm

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doing. Doing well. I have moved out of my house,

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chat. That's why there's like nothing behind

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me, really. So that's cool. Hopefully in the

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next two -ish months, I will be joining. You're

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going to move in with Eli? Yeah, like we said.

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The marriage arc is happening. I say all respect

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to your wife, but I need that insulin, so she's

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going to need to make room. Also, no Hal this

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week. Sorry. He's dead. Or are you going to make

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fun of him? Me, I guess, because I'm the other

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Commonwealth fella. Today, We are talking about

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a Space Marine chapter because we haven't covered

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a Space Marine chapter in a while. And today,

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you lucky viewers, we are talking about everyone's

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favorite custard Marines. We're talking about

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the Imperial Fists. Yay. I'm afraid we didn't

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contact Valorak to be on this episode because

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of his atrocious accent. The Imperial Fists are

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absolutely my favorite. That would be insufferable.

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So I'm going to tell you this one. This is the

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craziest place to start drama. Wow. Northern

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slander. So we're going to go through basically

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everything from Great Crusade to modern era.

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But fair warning, everyone. Imperial Fists are

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a bit of a weird chapter. They have a lot of

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cool stuff as a legion. That makes it boring.

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well this is the big hurdle with imperial fists

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everyone sees them as kind of like the most milk

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toast of all the chapters because while they

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have a specialty of we are good at building and

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fortifying that's a static position of like fighting

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so they're not usually well applied in the law

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in terms of like oh well we've done siege of

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terror that's a big defensive campaign anything

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else And that's why they have the problem of

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their successor chapters get more limelight because

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they're off crusading rather than standing still.

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And also Imperial Saint, it is true that in the

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old retconned lore, they ate poop. That is not

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a joke. There was a fermentation thing. when

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they were very brand new as a faction. And I

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think even Adeptus Ridiculous had like a thing

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where there was like Roguel Dorn's head in the

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skibbity toilet as a reference to that bit of

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lore. Poo eater chapter. Poo eater chapter. The

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plop eaters. I saw someone else, it's like, it

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was like, I know what they mean. It's like, that's

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old lore. It's like, people don't forget. No

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one's shown a Hill movie or something. I don't

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care how many bones you scrimmage, I'm not forgetting

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the poop. Fortify the entire Siege of Terra.

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Nobody bats an eye. Eat one piece of poop. All

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of a sudden, we're the poop eater chapter. All

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of a sudden, they are the fiber marines. Fortifying

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their stools. You build 10 ,000 bridges. No one

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calls you a bridge builder. You diddle one code.

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Before we kick off, actually, I assume you guys

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are just kind of like, they're okay. You're not

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massively into Imperial Fists. Again, the only

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one I can think of who's mega into them is Quipster

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Nerd and Balrak. And also, I know Peachy likes

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them, but that's just because they're northern.

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Look, I don't love them. I don't feel that passion,

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but I like them. Yeah. I occasionally see the

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classic picture of the imperial fish shooting

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and there's like imperial guard oh guys in the

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background and i think that guy looks kind of

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cool and then i stopped thinking about them there's

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that one iron cage piece where it's the guy on

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side profile with the flag behind him like that's

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one of the best art pieces for warhammer ever

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but iron cage was a long time ago uh but even

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longer hard to get over that iron cage but not

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gonna lie i can't well i can't hate them because

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they're yellow and my paint my eldar and i end

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in who are also mostly yellow so nothing else

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respect to the lemon bros i think we never made

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the horrible decision to put myself through painting

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a yellow army so it's not even that bad no it's

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not all right no white is hell White is the real

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pain. Andy, you're going to be in agony if you

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ever think of a White Scars army. Or my mentors,

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because there's a lot of white there, too. I

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do have an IRL friend who likes me. It's his

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army. There's someone out there. There's two

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of them. Let's begin at the start. As all Space

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Marine Legions start, we're going to go all the

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way back to the Unification Wars. Now, during

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the Unification Wars, typically Space Marine

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Legion would be drafted from a specific place.

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But interestingly, there's only a couple. one

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of them being the imperial fists that they actually

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recruited from a wide variety of populations

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for them it was more about variety it was more

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about if you can if you can pass the test of

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building a certain height of sandcastle you're

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in we don't discriminate we don't care like what's

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what's going on we're just like yeah if you're

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if you're a proper brother you're a proper brother

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you can come into the legion something which

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would carry over to when they were a chapter

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as well They were very well regarded. They were

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one of the most active legions during unification.

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They won battles such as the Cities of the Crystal

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Sea and the Fortress of the Fifth Circle, which

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that's all we know about those battles. They

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were a battle that happened. Splendid. Let's

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be honest. A lot of these battles from unification,

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it's just like there was the battle of the cool

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naming sound words. What happened? The Emperor

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won. What is it? Mount Ararat or whatever is

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just kind of that. And even that is still just...

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And then they killed all the Thunder Warriors.

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Yeah. But either way, they were very well regarded.

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And they were also fortunate that their Primarch,

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Rogaldorn, was one of the... He wasn't among

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the very first, but he was like the eighth to

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be found. You take away the censored Primarch

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that was like the second or whatever. Or third,

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I should say. He's like first half, first third

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of all Primarchs to be found, and uniquely he's

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the only one to be found who is in charge of

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their own interstellar empire. Now, it's kind

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of a bit of a shame that he was just before Gilliman

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was found, and then he just kind of dropped his

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empire on the table and went, look at that, mine's

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bigger than yours. Which, you know, who's got

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a bigger empire than Gilliman? The Emperor, that's

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about it. But... To be fair to Rogal, he also

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had the advantage of not just having an interstellar

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empire in his own system, but he also conveniently

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found this gigantic spaceship in orbit of his

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home planet called the Phalanx. And the Phalanx

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is enormous. You know that map of all the spaceships

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in sci -fi? where it's like everything from halo

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mass effect star wars star trek blah blah there's

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some big ones like the gloriana class ship from

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from 40k is on that massive thing and it's one

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of the biggest phalanx isn't on that scale which

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is a shame because it would probably dwarf half

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the bloody page it's enormous it's a dark age

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of technology mobile like continent essentially

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The only thing that rivals it in modern 40k is

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the rock. And that's because it's made of bits

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of a broken planet. It was a planet. It was a

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continent. Yeah. And it's like held together

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with like Jawas and yeah, yeah. Duct tape and

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Jawas. And the Emperor. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

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Is there any lore where it's like every now and

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again, like just a bit just falls off and like,

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well, I guess we didn't need that chamber anymore.

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To be fair, in modern 40K, it was getting a bit

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weary. There was points where the chapter's like,

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we've been through a lot of war. There's lots

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of broken bits. Loads of weapons don't have enough

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ammunition to fire anymore. Then the custodians

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opened one of their secret vaults, and they let

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something out, and they spruced up the phalanx

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real good, and everyone's like, how did you do

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that? And the custodians are like, don't ask

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questions. You don't need to know. They released

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Bob the Builder on the rock. But like the meat

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canyon Bob the Builder who's just like, put him

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back in the cage. So that was a big win for the

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Imperial Fist because when the Emperor got to

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Inuit, he's like, this is impressive that he's

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already sorted out his shit. Unlike some Primarchs

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who are like, I'm still fighting in a gladiatorial

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arena. Loser. What are you on about? Look at

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Rogal. He's flown the nest. He's got a respectable

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job. He hasn't got any debt. He's got a good

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credit rating. What's wrong with you, Angron

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and Kurz and others? Angron is simultaneously

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the most underrated and overrated Primarch. It's

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almost impressive. That's pretty real. World

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War I is one of the least schizos, I guess. He

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still has schizo, though. All of them are. They

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all have anger issues. You want to put on my

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glove? Yeah, well, we'll get into that. you win

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a thousand planets no one bats an eye you put

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the pain glove on once you put the pain and you

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eat a handful of poop in the pain glove and all

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of a sudden that's the guy you're that guy crazy

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um but yeah so the emperor got to inward and

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he's like he's already got an interstellar empire

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it's only a few worlds but it's like that's better

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than most and he's found this gigantic dark age

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of technology fortress in the sky He's moved

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in without the help of the Mechanicus and just

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somehow got it working. How did you do that,

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Rogal? And he's just like, oh, no, I just kind

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of played around with it. He's like, that's,

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you're the best boy. Like, of all the Primarchs,

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Rogaldorn was definitely, like, top five, top

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three, maybe. Like, the Emperor, it's Gilliman,

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it's Dorn, and it's probably Sanguinius, I would

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say. Yes, Vulcan had the ability to create really

00:11:17.070 --> 00:11:19.529
cool stuff. Yes, Korax had a weird connection

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to, like, He was the only one entrusted with

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the knowledge of chaos before the Horus House.

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Some of them had little bits here, but he was

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like, if I'm going on a compliance during the

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Great Crusade, I'm bringing Dorne and the Imperial

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Fists, or I'm bringing Gilliman, because Gilliman's

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got this gigantic army and an empire, and he's

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also really good at maths. But Dorne, he's not

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going to ask questions. He's going to do what

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I want him to do. He's extremely... efficient,

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and he doesn't mince words. The whole thing about

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Imperial Fists is they're stoic and they're quiet,

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to the point where during the Great Crusade,

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Nathaniel Garrow of the Death Guard remarked

00:12:02.879 --> 00:12:06.440
to Eacton Cruz of the Lunar Wolves that he fought

00:12:06.440 --> 00:12:08.919
alongside a particular veteran of the Imperial

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Fists for an entire year of combat, never saw

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him smile once. And so his men nicknamed the

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Imperial Fists the Stone Men. because they were

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that dull dour nod very few words never smile

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take everything seriously never have a day off

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insufferable to a lot of people um but they were

00:12:32.429 --> 00:12:35.750
also extremely extremely good at combat uh very

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efficient again uh before we chatted uh on stream

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uh eli made an interesting point about how they're

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kind of anathema to what a space marine is in

00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:52.480
theory because space marines are these elite

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shock troopers who are supposed to get in do

00:12:54.399 --> 00:12:56.360
some damage and get out at least in the current

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setting and they're much better suited to the

00:12:58.899 --> 00:13:01.220
great crusade horus heresy era than they are

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the the 41st millennium because you've got a

00:13:04.379 --> 00:13:07.960
thousand men by that point not fortifying very

00:13:07.960 --> 00:13:11.059
much with a thousand freaking dudes where a hundred

00:13:11.059 --> 00:13:13.679
thousand you'll get a lot more done a thousand

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and and that doesn't work And it's pre -chaos

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where everything's falling to ruin. They have

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chapter auxiliaries and serfs. They have, but

00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:27.340
who doesn't? Everyone's got indentured labor

00:13:27.340 --> 00:13:30.299
for the Imperials. That's just how you get around

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the answer. How do they man them? With all the

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other goobers wandering around the chapter. There's

00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:38.000
just a lot of men with cranes and one Imperials

00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:41.159
going, that over there, that there, you quicker,

00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:43.639
stop that, put that there. It's called delegation,

00:13:43.820 --> 00:13:47.710
sir. Delegation. Rogal Delegation is his name.

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And yeah, so to be fair, they're also one of

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the largest legions during the Great Crusade.

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Before the outbreak of the Horus Heresy, they

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had approximately, I think it was 93 ,000 men.

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So we're not talking ultramarines over 100K,

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but we're not talking Raven Guard in like the

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low, I think it's the low 70s, maybe even 60s.

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Like they're quite a substantial legion. Or the

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Thousand Sons at one point. Or the Emperor's

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children. Too soon. A lot of legions seem to

00:14:18.110 --> 00:14:20.009
have been some of the biggest legions in the

00:14:20.009 --> 00:14:24.990
Great Crusade. Yeah, some of. There's always

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the top five and the bottom five. And to be fair

00:14:28.710 --> 00:14:31.309
to the Fists, they were basically the only fleet

00:14:31.309 --> 00:14:34.549
-based legion. Not even chapter. Fleet -based

00:14:34.549 --> 00:14:38.620
legion. Because... They had this gigantic fortress,

00:14:38.799 --> 00:14:41.460
and at the peak of their strength, they had 150

00:14:41.460 --> 00:14:45.139
,000 ships. They had the biggest fleet. Like,

00:14:45.139 --> 00:14:47.720
even Ultramar, the Ultramarines didn't have a

00:14:47.720 --> 00:14:51.120
fleet as big as the Imperial Fists, at least

00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:53.620
with, like, Astartes vessels and stuff. So they

00:14:53.620 --> 00:14:55.539
were the undisputed masters of naval warfare.

00:14:55.700 --> 00:14:56.879
They were just like... Okay, they're cool now.

00:14:58.059 --> 00:15:00.960
They're cool. They got boats, ships. They got

00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:06.379
space boats. I love the Navy. I like planes and

00:15:06.379 --> 00:15:10.799
boats. Give me a fun hat. I want a big pointy

00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:13.659
hat. Not one of those big pointy hats, you know,

00:15:13.700 --> 00:15:17.740
a naval hat. Calm down, chat. And yeah, so as

00:15:17.740 --> 00:15:22.059
a somewhat fleet -based Legion, they roamed all

00:15:22.059 --> 00:15:24.399
over the stars and they brought compliance. Their

00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:27.080
whole modus operandi was, we're not going to

00:15:27.080 --> 00:15:29.879
just... destroy all the people who don't want

00:15:29.879 --> 00:15:31.279
to be a part of the imperium because we kind

00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:33.279
of want them to be useful after we're done with

00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:37.399
them so they they were they weren't like dragging

00:15:37.399 --> 00:15:40.039
their heels like the word bearers but they weren't

00:15:40.039 --> 00:15:44.679
uh uber efficient like for example the sons of

00:15:44.679 --> 00:15:46.879
horus or even the ultramarines it was like we

00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:50.519
want to make sure that we are here long enough

00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:53.100
to stabilize the civilization but we're also

00:15:53.100 --> 00:15:55.259
no slouches when it comes to taking over planets.

00:15:55.779 --> 00:15:59.259
And when you have the largest fleet in the Legiones

00:15:59.259 --> 00:16:04.659
Astartes, that's quite achievable. So before

00:16:04.659 --> 00:16:06.659
the Horus Heresy even begins, they've got about

00:16:06.659 --> 00:16:11.620
94 ,000, 93 ,000 men, 150 ,000 ships. Every one

00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:14.100
of their armies had siege masters, fleet masters,

00:16:14.259 --> 00:16:17.879
and field marshals to kind of break down their

00:16:17.879 --> 00:16:22.250
forces into manageable chunks. For a long time,

00:16:22.269 --> 00:16:24.950
they also had an elite bunch of bodyguards for

00:16:24.950 --> 00:16:27.610
Rogaldorn known as the Huskarls. They were very

00:16:27.610 --> 00:16:32.389
much into traditions of passing down honor names.

00:16:32.590 --> 00:16:35.789
For example, Archimus is basically, for a long

00:16:35.789 --> 00:16:40.889
time, the most trusted champion of Rogaldorn.

00:16:41.129 --> 00:16:45.929
He's part of the first, I think it's 70, Inuit

00:16:45.929 --> 00:16:50.529
aspirants of the Legion. He was born on Inuit.

00:16:51.070 --> 00:16:52.990
and then he was part of a gang, and then he was

00:16:52.990 --> 00:16:55.490
made into one of the most robust commanders of

00:16:55.490 --> 00:16:58.610
the Legion. And for a while, the Huskars have

00:16:58.610 --> 00:17:00.710
been gone since the heresy, but then I think

00:17:00.710 --> 00:17:02.690
Geliman brought them back recently, because he's

00:17:02.690 --> 00:17:05.250
like, they were cool. Remember that blast from

00:17:05.250 --> 00:17:07.509
the past? I'm bringing it back, baby! And then

00:17:07.509 --> 00:17:09.029
they're going, you're not my Primarch. Yeah,

00:17:09.430 --> 00:17:12.630
but is it a bad idea? And they're like, no. So

00:17:12.630 --> 00:17:17.849
they do that. However, with the beginning of

00:17:17.849 --> 00:17:21.000
the Horus heresy, things take a bit of a turn

00:17:21.000 --> 00:17:22.660
for the worse, not just for everyone, but especially

00:17:22.660 --> 00:17:26.240
for the Imperial Fists. One thing I think a lot

00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:29.539
of people don't realize is Istvan V, it wasn't

00:17:29.539 --> 00:17:32.019
just seven legions that were sent. It wasn't

00:17:32.019 --> 00:17:34.579
just the Ironhands, Ravenguards, Salamanders,

00:17:34.660 --> 00:17:36.720
and then it was the Alpha Legion, Iron Warriors,

00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:39.240
Wordbearers, and Nightlords. The Imperial Fists

00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:41.619
were also supposed to join the Ironhands and

00:17:41.619 --> 00:17:49.539
stuff to do the counterattack. However, Dawn

00:17:49.539 --> 00:17:55.059
sent about a third of his legion. About 561 ships.

00:17:59.079 --> 00:18:03.559
Warpstorms are a thing. They got stranded near

00:18:03.559 --> 00:18:07.160
a place called the Fal System. And of those 560

00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:15.359
ships, they lost about 360. So they're not doing

00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:20.109
good. They got unyielding Hierophanted. It's

00:18:20.109 --> 00:18:24.430
like, I remember playing Rogue Trader and there's

00:18:24.430 --> 00:18:26.329
that option was like, go to the Imperium, but

00:18:26.329 --> 00:18:27.470
I didn't know what that meant. And I was like,

00:18:27.529 --> 00:18:30.089
okay. And there's this like, you have lost 80

00:18:30.089 --> 00:18:33.890
% of your crew. Whoops. Oh, well. So that was

00:18:33.890 --> 00:18:37.690
my playthrough. Those are lower deck crew. Who

00:18:37.690 --> 00:18:41.910
cares? Named characters. I think it'd be named

00:18:41.910 --> 00:18:44.349
characters and I still don't care. I blew Adira's

00:18:44.349 --> 00:18:48.210
head off last game I played. Shouldn't have been

00:18:48.210 --> 00:18:51.170
an unsafe psycher, Bozo. One head pop, too many.

00:18:52.529 --> 00:18:56.170
Yeah. But yeah, so the Battle of Fall, they did

00:18:56.170 --> 00:18:58.950
survive. Alexis Pollux took up command. He was

00:18:58.950 --> 00:19:01.589
the captain. I think he was the 405th captain.

00:19:02.170 --> 00:19:05.670
He's got a fist. He's got a fist. He's the Imperial

00:19:05.670 --> 00:19:10.049
Fist. And to be fair, this is practically the

00:19:10.049 --> 00:19:12.869
only battle the Imperial Fists are part of outside

00:19:12.869 --> 00:19:15.269
of the final battles of the Horus Heresy. This

00:19:15.269 --> 00:19:18.779
is the one battle they're in. And to be fair,

00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:22.359
Pollux bests, at least tactically, Perturabo

00:19:22.359 --> 00:19:26.440
in battle. Feels bad. Perturabo's got the initiative.

00:19:26.539 --> 00:19:29.619
He's got the bigger forces. Pollux trounces him

00:19:29.619 --> 00:19:34.019
for what he has. And Dorn not winning against

00:19:34.019 --> 00:19:36.859
the allegations that he's a crybaby. He's like,

00:19:36.940 --> 00:19:39.339
I'm better than Dorn. I'm better than Dorn. He's

00:19:39.339 --> 00:19:42.200
like, I'm just a space marine. They also steal

00:19:42.200 --> 00:19:45.099
on the Alpha Legion. Maybe the Imperial fits

00:19:45.099 --> 00:19:51.150
have just a lot of plot armor. I don't know.

00:19:51.349 --> 00:19:54.089
The Legion all about deception lost in a straight

00:19:54.089 --> 00:19:56.089
up fight. Who could have seen this one coming?

00:19:57.410 --> 00:20:00.890
Not a single deception thing actually worked

00:20:00.890 --> 00:20:03.069
and every Imperial Fist just magically saw through

00:20:03.069 --> 00:20:06.549
every single trick. They're very inconsistent.

00:20:06.910 --> 00:20:09.430
They're too stupid to trick. They're too simple.

00:20:09.710 --> 00:20:15.349
One does not trick the brick wall. I cast brick.

00:20:17.900 --> 00:20:20.779
And now at the end of the fall campaign, they

00:20:20.779 --> 00:20:24.619
have 300 less companies. They lost 300 companies

00:20:24.619 --> 00:20:29.339
in that one battle. That's a lot. So they get

00:20:29.339 --> 00:20:31.400
back to Holy Terror, and Dawn's like, what the

00:20:31.400 --> 00:20:37.299
fuck? Sorry, we basically just decimated a third

00:20:37.299 --> 00:20:41.220
of your entire strength in one campaign. Whoops.

00:20:42.019 --> 00:20:44.539
So they're doing better than the Salamander's

00:20:44.539 --> 00:20:48.180
Iron Hands. and and the uh and the raven guard

00:20:48.180 --> 00:20:56.400
but not by much um and again all the oh i would

00:20:56.400 --> 00:21:00.460
say with like oh i'm looking at the wrong stream

00:21:00.460 --> 00:21:02.519
that's why i heard words and yet your mouth was

00:21:02.519 --> 00:21:05.140
not moving i was like i'm confused did he stop

00:21:05.140 --> 00:21:09.640
am i still going sorry sorry that's okay like

00:21:09.640 --> 00:21:14.240
i mean it's like the The fists are easy to keep

00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:16.779
them going and kind of keep them safe because

00:21:16.779 --> 00:21:22.380
them being alive doesn't remove plot. Whereas

00:21:22.380 --> 00:21:24.880
the Alpha Legion in this instance, what happens

00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:27.200
if the Alpha Legion character, he gets the dub

00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:32.119
here? Well, we blew up Terra. We kind of can't

00:21:32.119 --> 00:21:34.799
have them do that. Mission accomplished. We kind

00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:38.500
of need a 40k to still happen. So I'm afraid

00:21:38.500 --> 00:21:42.569
you're destined to fail, sir. Yeah. They could

00:21:42.569 --> 00:21:44.190
write it better. I'm not going to argue that.

00:21:44.690 --> 00:21:46.589
And I guess it's a rock and a hard place for

00:21:46.589 --> 00:21:48.309
the Imperial Fists because they're generally

00:21:48.309 --> 00:21:54.549
always stationed around Terra -ish. But at least

00:21:54.549 --> 00:21:56.150
with this particular loss, then they kind of

00:21:56.150 --> 00:21:58.569
go for the rest of the Horus Heresy. Yes, they

00:21:58.569 --> 00:22:01.329
do occasionally go out to like, for example,

00:22:01.329 --> 00:22:06.269
they attempt to get the Heratex out of Mars.

00:22:06.730 --> 00:22:10.599
Doesn't go well. Even Sigismund and Fafnir ran

00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:13.160
to them like, oh, it's not working. Oh, no. There's

00:22:13.160 --> 00:22:15.920
so many heretics on Mars. Invading the whole

00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:18.720
world of the Mechanicum is not a recipe for success.

00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:22.539
So their solution is we're just going to cordon

00:22:22.539 --> 00:22:25.359
it off for about seven years because we cannot

00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:27.799
get these guys out of there. So we're just going

00:22:27.799 --> 00:22:30.680
to stop anything from getting in or out. Whatever

00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:33.420
they're doing, if they're contained on Mars.

00:22:34.140 --> 00:22:36.660
it's better than being out there doing whatever

00:22:36.660 --> 00:22:39.079
weird stuff they're going to be doing. Probably,

00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:41.619
too, it'd look like a two -way Terminator, but,

00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:44.579
like, the robot. It's like, they land on the

00:22:44.579 --> 00:22:46.700
planet, and it's especially early, like, Dark

00:22:46.700 --> 00:22:49.380
Mechanicum, so they haven't gone all chaos, gribbly

00:22:49.380 --> 00:22:51.940
blitz yet. It's like, I don't even know who's

00:22:51.940 --> 00:22:57.019
on my side, man. They're all wearing red. And,

00:22:57.180 --> 00:22:59.900
to be fair, what's the... I can't remember his

00:22:59.900 --> 00:23:02.990
name, but the guy who's, like, the... He's rescued

00:23:02.990 --> 00:23:05.390
from Mars and he's like their equivalent of Arch

00:23:05.390 --> 00:23:09.369
Magos. I need to reread Mechanicum. That's a

00:23:09.369 --> 00:23:12.750
good book. It's a good book. But it's like he

00:23:12.750 --> 00:23:16.130
has a bit of a go at Roguel Dorn. He's just like,

00:23:16.269 --> 00:23:18.809
hey, you prick. We need to like go. There are

00:23:18.809 --> 00:23:20.890
good people dying on Mars. Why are you giving

00:23:20.890 --> 00:23:23.609
up so easily? And Dorn's like, this is just a

00:23:23.609 --> 00:23:26.109
battle. We have to win the war. Like there are

00:23:26.109 --> 00:23:28.269
more important things than Mars and terror is

00:23:28.269 --> 00:23:30.750
more important than Mars. So I will let as many

00:23:30.750 --> 00:23:33.700
people die. If it means that we don't lose the

00:23:33.700 --> 00:23:36.500
throne, well, it's like, ooh, okay. Definitely

00:23:36.500 --> 00:23:41.839
correct, but also harsh. Also, fucking look at

00:23:41.839 --> 00:23:43.579
the place. I'm not stepping foot down there.

00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:47.759
I just saw someone weaponize melanoma. No, thank

00:23:47.759 --> 00:23:51.500
you. I just sent Sigismund down there, and he

00:23:51.500 --> 00:23:55.680
wasn't able to do shit. So I'm not wasting any

00:23:55.680 --> 00:23:57.279
more time on this. That's Sigismund. He's like

00:23:57.279 --> 00:24:00.460
the most powerful space marine ever. And he couldn't

00:24:00.460 --> 00:24:06.759
crack it. Although, before we keep going, we

00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:08.660
have got a bunch of donations. Shall we crack

00:24:08.660 --> 00:24:11.240
on with those? Let me take over some of these

00:24:11.240 --> 00:24:18.299
bad boys. Hey, there's me. I will sadly miss

00:24:18.299 --> 00:24:20.680
this sturdy stream. I must go get a doggy. Oh,

00:24:20.680 --> 00:24:27.160
shit. I hope it's a cute doggy. XOXO Collins,

00:24:27.259 --> 00:24:31.190
colon is dry AF. Seriously, give me an NMR or

00:24:31.190 --> 00:24:33.289
I may die of thirst up here. Man, that was a

00:24:33.289 --> 00:24:37.309
nice message. Going to get a dog and then the

00:24:37.309 --> 00:24:39.630
second half of it, Mr. President, the second

00:24:39.630 --> 00:24:43.349
half of the comment has struck. Thank you for

00:24:43.349 --> 00:24:47.769
the $5. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Can't stream

00:24:47.769 --> 00:24:50.029
late due to how gooning with Dorne's severed

00:24:50.029 --> 00:24:54.289
head. That's why. He's been off trying to find

00:24:54.289 --> 00:24:59.180
where it is. Card shark. Thank you for the 10

00:24:59.180 --> 00:25:03.839
CA. Will Pega Neko fuck return? Or is this mysterious

00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:06.720
next VTuber a new lore criminal entry? And we

00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:08.980
promised a new VTuber and I didn't know of this.

00:25:09.740 --> 00:25:13.430
I don't think so. I don't think we did. I think

00:25:13.430 --> 00:25:15.910
you may just be tripping, Doc. I'm sure Vega

00:25:15.910 --> 00:25:18.390
will come back one of these days. Yeah, I think

00:25:18.390 --> 00:25:20.910
probably. We're always happy for people to return

00:25:20.910 --> 00:25:22.569
if they want to come back. We need to do some

00:25:22.569 --> 00:25:24.990
painting stuff. Happy news, everyone. The video

00:25:24.990 --> 00:25:27.329
I'm rendering did not crash out of the same frame.

00:25:27.430 --> 00:25:30.269
I don't need to end my life on stream. Praise

00:25:30.269 --> 00:25:35.710
the Omnissiah. Set with a 499. Can't believe

00:25:35.710 --> 00:25:38.049
Rogald Dorn said it was fisting time and fisted

00:25:38.049 --> 00:25:40.490
all over the Imperial Palace. You give that man

00:25:40.490 --> 00:25:43.460
his credit. He fisted all over Terra. He fisted

00:25:43.460 --> 00:25:47.500
everyone. The entire solar system. Marathi's

00:25:47.500 --> 00:25:50.279
designated toilet stream late due to hell sucking

00:25:50.279 --> 00:25:56.180
Dorn's toe cheese clean. Before we move on, some

00:25:56.180 --> 00:25:58.259
of you, I want you all to do me a favor. Before

00:25:58.259 --> 00:26:01.599
you send that donation message, or any comment

00:26:01.599 --> 00:26:05.140
really, I want you to text a family member that

00:26:05.140 --> 00:26:08.619
message. That's a very normal thing for you to

00:26:08.619 --> 00:26:11.200
say. I'm sure they'd love to hear you say it.

00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:16.920
Yep. Anyways, Colin wore a somewhat green hat

00:26:16.920 --> 00:26:23.240
last week. Thank you. Amazing. Sorry, Miss Lestream

00:26:23.240 --> 00:26:25.660
was drunk at a party. So while the number of

00:26:25.660 --> 00:26:27.660
shopping carts eat it on top of my front yard

00:26:27.660 --> 00:26:30.599
trees wasn't zero, I would love to be at your

00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:33.500
parties. Yeah. That was indeed a green hat last

00:26:33.500 --> 00:26:38.579
week. You're a freak out. Green hat out. I picture

00:26:38.579 --> 00:26:40.500
you saying that like Carter at the end of Reach.

00:26:41.529 --> 00:26:44.289
And just think, we'll not hear anything for a

00:26:44.289 --> 00:26:46.789
few weeks, then it'll be Colin will wear a pink

00:26:46.789 --> 00:26:50.289
hat in five weeks. Oh no! I've actually got one

00:26:50.289 --> 00:26:52.450
that's much closer to hand. I mean, it's not

00:26:52.450 --> 00:26:55.269
all pink, but... You need to get Hal to wear

00:26:55.269 --> 00:26:58.130
something funny. That's my vote. Donkey Man.

00:26:58.230 --> 00:26:59.809
He did dress up as Jack Sparrow. He did do that.

00:27:00.109 --> 00:27:02.049
Commitment to the bed. Thank you to my Halloween

00:27:02.049 --> 00:27:06.250
costume for just not arriving, period. Very cool,

00:27:06.569 --> 00:27:10.559
Etsy. Donkey... Pardon me. Donkey Man USA with

00:27:10.559 --> 00:27:13.799
the Fiverr again. I have also finally moved out.

00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:18.380
Hell yeah. I now have time to paint my rat OmniSaya

00:27:18.380 --> 00:27:21.720
and work on the house. I have to be honest. Also,

00:27:21.759 --> 00:27:24.599
when I first saw Donkey Man's profile picture,

00:27:24.779 --> 00:27:30.059
I thought it was just Sarah Palmer. Because it

00:27:30.059 --> 00:27:31.960
was zoomed out, I thought it was just an edited

00:27:31.960 --> 00:27:36.589
vert picture of default. That's Halo for Sarah

00:27:36.589 --> 00:27:40.230
Palmer. The donkey did not click for like a year.

00:27:41.009 --> 00:27:47.690
Zach Spamalama. That's a fun name. With the Fiverr.

00:27:47.690 --> 00:27:49.890
Long time listener. First time joining the live.

00:27:50.289 --> 00:27:53.130
Imperial Fist, my favorite legion. Please tell

00:27:53.130 --> 00:27:57.250
Dornia. Hell yeah, man. Thank you very much.

00:27:59.390 --> 00:28:02.369
Pancreas is silly as clown with a 20. Colin,

00:28:03.509 --> 00:28:05.589
can you please explain why you've betrayed your

00:28:05.589 --> 00:28:08.609
ideals as Bretonnia hater by tweeting, and I

00:28:08.609 --> 00:28:12.329
quote, slurping the butter juice off of King

00:28:12.329 --> 00:28:15.789
Haralouse's mighty Swadian lance. I'm aware it's

00:28:15.789 --> 00:28:17.869
from Mountain Blade. You see, that's because

00:28:17.869 --> 00:28:21.890
the proud kingdom of Swadia is simply better

00:28:21.890 --> 00:28:25.250
than Bretonnia. Another five million Swadian

00:28:25.250 --> 00:28:27.809
knights charging down poor Roeduck peasants.

00:28:30.990 --> 00:28:36.329
Thank you. $9 .99. I'm back from the dead, so

00:28:36.329 --> 00:28:38.849
once that SAO tier list, I hate you. I've been

00:28:38.849 --> 00:28:41.690
dead for months. I need it. I also want a five

00:28:41.690 --> 00:28:45.809
-page essay from the Pancreas List 1 on why Kirito

00:28:45.809 --> 00:28:48.549
can kill Karn. I mean, is Karn in the video game?

00:28:48.670 --> 00:28:51.029
Then sure, there you go. If not, Kirito's a...

00:28:51.950 --> 00:28:54.009
And an even twink because he was locked in a

00:28:54.009 --> 00:28:58.769
video game for like years. What is a Kirito?

00:28:58.950 --> 00:29:02.990
It's the main goober from Sword Art Online. Colin's

00:29:02.990 --> 00:29:09.190
favorite enemy. Die. James with the five mounds.

00:29:09.990 --> 00:29:12.470
How did you guys meet? Enjoying your content

00:29:12.470 --> 00:29:17.269
and happy birthday Colin. Andy's networking skills

00:29:17.269 --> 00:29:21.599
are boundless. and i i did a nick fury and i

00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:24.200
just go i'm assembling a team that's that's kind

00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:28.079
of what we did any message to us on discord one

00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:32.240
way to put it less flashy than nick fury with

00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:35.700
the trench coat i like the fury it was the start

00:29:35.700 --> 00:29:38.900
of his ascension to becoming the chaos god of

00:29:38.900 --> 00:29:44.349
networking Tom Warren with a 5. Imperial fists

00:29:44.349 --> 00:29:46.089
don't get the respect they deserve because not

00:29:46.089 --> 00:29:47.930
enough people respect the noble art of turtling.

00:29:48.089 --> 00:29:51.210
So real. I will play Age of Empires and you will

00:29:51.210 --> 00:29:55.829
have to break through 5 million walls. I do love

00:29:55.829 --> 00:29:59.230
turrets. I love turret maxing. I love turrets.

00:29:59.230 --> 00:30:02.450
I love defensive fort towers. I love 50 layer

00:30:02.450 --> 00:30:07.829
deep walls and gates. Glass laughter with a 5.

00:30:08.519 --> 00:30:10.619
I guess the Black Templars kind of made the Imperial

00:30:10.619 --> 00:30:13.500
Fists irrelevant or overshadowed them so much.

00:30:14.160 --> 00:30:16.680
I don't like to think about it. They probably

00:30:16.680 --> 00:30:18.819
have more books than the Imperial Fists, I'm

00:30:18.819 --> 00:30:21.700
pretty sure. Not all Black Templars fans, but

00:30:21.700 --> 00:30:24.599
it's always a Black Templars fan. It is always

00:30:24.599 --> 00:30:30.019
a Black Templars fan. Chaotic New. New Zealand

00:30:30.019 --> 00:30:34.539
5. Thank you. And not going to lie, I do enjoy

00:30:34.539 --> 00:30:38.019
the Fisters. Rogal activates my old man enjoyer

00:30:38.019 --> 00:30:40.799
senses, and his sons do too. Also, everyone looks

00:30:40.799 --> 00:30:43.700
so handsome this morning. Well, thank you. I

00:30:43.700 --> 00:30:46.599
am afraid that you are in the wrong time zone,

00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:49.700
and it's 3 .36 in the afternoon right now. But

00:30:49.700 --> 00:30:52.799
that's okay. It's appreciated. It's morning for

00:30:52.799 --> 00:30:58.039
Colin. Thank you. Conrad's number one stand with

00:30:58.039 --> 00:31:01.380
the five. I mean, this is an easy one, I think.

00:31:01.420 --> 00:31:03.319
Who do you think is the better aura farming model,

00:31:03.539 --> 00:31:06.660
Loken Grimnair or the new Raven Guard guy? Also,

00:31:06.680 --> 00:31:09.119
I am so sorry for your new Combat Patrol Iron

00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:13.200
Hands. Yeah, those Combat Patrols really came

00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:15.740
out in a stream that could have been like a 9

00:31:15.740 --> 00:31:19.539
out of 10 hit us with that at the end. VW really

00:31:19.539 --> 00:31:21.500
like, we can't shift these turret models for

00:31:21.500 --> 00:31:24.759
anything. Just put two in the box. Why not? Logan

00:31:24.759 --> 00:31:28.660
Grimnar wins the aura off for me. Nah, I'm giving

00:31:28.660 --> 00:31:30.720
it to the... I don't even remember his name.

00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:33.480
Logan Grimnar's new model is like... A whole

00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:36.140
new style of model that they made. It's sick,

00:31:36.140 --> 00:31:39.200
but I like the Spider -Man pose off the rock.

00:31:39.380 --> 00:31:41.920
It is really cool. I just think it would be amusing

00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:45.500
if you were being attacked by him and you felt

00:31:45.500 --> 00:31:48.380
the tassel on your head and then that's when

00:31:48.380 --> 00:31:52.000
he hits you. If you have that guy in a match

00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:53.980
and you don't play the theme at least once, you

00:31:53.980 --> 00:32:00.519
are wasting the purchase. Cabanda's mighty schlong

00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:03.880
of Cygnus, $2. No choice wasting a stream on

00:32:03.880 --> 00:32:08.220
Imperial Fitz. You know what you should all ask?

00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:11.769
You should not... You should not ask, why does

00:32:11.769 --> 00:32:14.170
this army exist? You should be grateful that

00:32:14.170 --> 00:32:17.750
there is so much lore that there is lore you

00:32:17.750 --> 00:32:24.069
can find boring. Someone has to be the normal

00:32:24.069 --> 00:32:28.089
dude. So shut up. Colin wore a somewhat green

00:32:28.089 --> 00:32:31.890
hat last week. Lament your best yellow dudes.

00:32:31.970 --> 00:32:33.890
Unlucky, but not a brick. Thank you for the two

00:32:33.890 --> 00:32:37.750
heroes. Pretty real. Marines malevolent are actually

00:32:37.750 --> 00:32:43.440
the best yellow dudes. Oh, there we go. Interesting.

00:32:44.279 --> 00:32:46.079
We need to do an episode on them one of these

00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:48.680
days. It'll be like 30 minutes and it's just

00:32:48.680 --> 00:32:51.819
them being assholes. Skarsnik is almost achieved

00:32:51.819 --> 00:32:59.200
full Skarsnik in the PFP. Thanos, a .k .a. Skarsnik's

00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:03.299
top guy with a 20 at OK, is darn circumcised,

00:33:03.299 --> 00:33:07.339
though. I will leave that to your discretion,

00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:12.650
viewer. I don't know, is it fortified? Ooh. Yeah,

00:33:13.710 --> 00:33:15.549
I would think that would be an aphema to Dorne.

00:33:16.369 --> 00:33:18.509
Structural integrity is damaged. This is not

00:33:18.509 --> 00:33:21.970
optimal. Oh, poor fella. No, I think it's the

00:33:21.970 --> 00:33:25.009
opposite. It's like the metal gear, you know.

00:33:25.690 --> 00:33:27.910
I'll admit that your foreskin is nice, but it

00:33:27.910 --> 00:33:30.970
serves no tactical advantage whatsoever. The

00:33:30.970 --> 00:33:33.769
engravings are not tactical advantage at all.

00:33:34.130 --> 00:33:36.630
I'm like 90 % sure that the Primarchs don't even

00:33:36.630 --> 00:33:41.619
have PNRs. Oh, wow. I don't think they're by

00:33:41.619 --> 00:33:43.940
their perfect biology. I don't think they need

00:33:43.940 --> 00:33:46.799
to get rid of one. Fulgrim had lots of wives.

00:33:47.319 --> 00:33:50.119
Doesn't mean that he did it, though. We'll ask

00:33:50.119 --> 00:33:53.420
them. We'll ask them if we can find him. If anyone

00:33:53.420 --> 00:33:56.079
had one, I'd give it to Logan Grimnar. Sorry,

00:33:56.319 --> 00:33:58.119
Lehman Russ. Logan Grimnar is basically the freaking

00:33:58.119 --> 00:34:01.319
Primark. We know that also Luke is the trickster.

00:34:01.660 --> 00:34:05.099
is a filthy, cheeky chap who has had many children,

00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:08.000
apparently. Part of the Space Wolf gene seed

00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:10.219
is they get to keep their penis. They keep their

00:34:10.219 --> 00:34:18.920
nuts. Oh, dear. Oh, Benadryl. Every time that

00:34:18.920 --> 00:34:22.119
comes up, it makes me laugh. Benadryl with a

00:34:22.119 --> 00:34:26.110
five. Shout out to Fafnir Ron, Rogledorn's second

00:34:26.110 --> 00:34:28.730
most violent son. GW, bring back the Breachers.

00:34:29.050 --> 00:34:35.769
GW, bring back a lot of things. $10 from NickNack3587.

00:34:35.929 --> 00:34:39.730
Thank you. Love or hate, you respect the fists.

00:34:39.769 --> 00:34:41.730
Not flashy or even interesting, but they're consistent,

00:34:41.889 --> 00:34:43.590
reliable, and aware they're just tools to be

00:34:43.590 --> 00:34:46.349
used. Glad to hear you boys talk about the Yelbrick

00:34:46.349 --> 00:34:51.010
Horde. Thank you. Thank you. The Yellow Brick

00:34:51.010 --> 00:34:55.510
Horde. Ian Hines with the Fiver. To be fair to

00:34:55.510 --> 00:34:58.010
Eli, the near death of the Emperor and the ransacking

00:34:58.010 --> 00:35:00.289
of Terra absolutely taints every win they have.

00:35:00.849 --> 00:35:06.010
Even if the Ultramarines are the best. Wow. Just

00:35:06.010 --> 00:35:08.630
saying, if they were blueberries instead of yellow

00:35:08.630 --> 00:35:12.190
boys on the walls, Horus won't break it through.

00:35:17.789 --> 00:35:21.190
Still closed. Angry homunculus with five pounds.

00:35:21.969 --> 00:35:23.710
You guys think the Imperial Fists were given

00:35:23.710 --> 00:35:26.130
northern accents because of Valrak or is Valrak

00:35:26.130 --> 00:35:29.530
northern because he likes Imperial Fists? Fun

00:35:29.530 --> 00:35:32.289
fact, Valrak's from Kent. He doesn't sound like

00:35:32.289 --> 00:35:35.849
that at all. He just puts it on. He's just cosplaying

00:35:35.849 --> 00:35:38.730
an orphan. He's not even... I hope that joke

00:35:38.730 --> 00:35:41.889
means something to some of you because I'm afraid

00:35:41.889 --> 00:35:44.750
it does not help me with anything. Woosh, said

00:35:44.750 --> 00:35:50.119
Colin. Yeah. Colin wore a green hat last week.

00:35:50.159 --> 00:35:52.019
Boy, your messages are the highs and the lows

00:35:52.019 --> 00:35:55.760
this week. Two euros. Thank you. Got 23rd rejection.

00:35:56.059 --> 00:35:59.539
At least you guys are still there. Wow. Wow.

00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:03.719
Hey, there's always another fish. There's always

00:36:03.719 --> 00:36:06.679
a bigger fish, too, said Qui -Gon Jinn. The bank

00:36:06.679 --> 00:36:10.260
apostle with the 35 czar. Pity Hal's not here.

00:36:10.360 --> 00:36:14.460
Hey, Andy. Four Rugby World Trophy wins. Do -da

00:36:14.460 --> 00:36:18.590
-do -da. And we'll make it five in 2027. I don't

00:36:18.590 --> 00:36:21.929
care about rugby. I don't mind rugby. I always

00:36:21.929 --> 00:36:25.170
support the team that's currently winning, and

00:36:25.170 --> 00:36:27.269
then when they start losing, I'm like, I support

00:36:27.269 --> 00:36:30.409
New Zealand, actually. That's what I do when

00:36:30.409 --> 00:36:39.610
I watch rugby. This is a great name. I received

00:36:39.610 --> 00:36:48.659
a ping. Drakenschlank. I like that. I mean, that's,

00:36:48.659 --> 00:36:52.579
you know, we're getting the fucking Avengers

00:36:52.579 --> 00:36:57.980
of schlong names. Five bucks. Colin, you started

00:36:57.980 --> 00:36:59.960
this off on the wrong foot forward. I have one

00:36:59.960 --> 00:37:02.840
L on my name. Colin, I'm still waiting to see

00:37:02.840 --> 00:37:04.780
if you want to trade pancreases to get cured

00:37:04.780 --> 00:37:07.059
of diabetes, and I don't have tumors anymore.

00:37:08.760 --> 00:37:15.409
Wow. Trade one villain for another. Colin wore

00:37:15.409 --> 00:37:20.250
a somewhat green hat last week. Thank you. I'm

00:37:20.250 --> 00:37:22.110
personally going to end how for saying level

00:37:22.110 --> 00:37:25.849
in our best yellow dudes. That was Eli. That's

00:37:25.849 --> 00:37:30.789
fine. Say it with your chest from afar. Of course,

00:37:30.789 --> 00:37:33.889
of course you turned me to a pulp. Happy birthday,

00:37:33.969 --> 00:37:37.809
Colin. Well, you got the name, right? Happy birthday.

00:37:37.809 --> 00:37:41.639
Dank apostle 14 czar. This is still my favorite

00:37:41.639 --> 00:37:44.460
podcast. Well, thank you. Thank you very much.

00:37:44.719 --> 00:37:49.219
That was a large amount. That was a hefty. Thank

00:37:49.219 --> 00:37:52.539
you. Yeah. Thank you guys. You're a, you're,

00:37:52.539 --> 00:37:55.059
you are personally making more crimes survive.

00:37:55.300 --> 00:37:59.280
So we appreciate it. Well, let's get back into

00:37:59.280 --> 00:38:03.500
the Imperial fist then. So they also have a bit

00:38:03.500 --> 00:38:08.110
of a. every one of the legions so the blood angels

00:38:08.110 --> 00:38:11.190
white scars and imperial fists have like bragging

00:38:11.190 --> 00:38:13.809
rights forever because they were on terror when

00:38:13.809 --> 00:38:17.190
it was falling to to ruin so those three chapters

00:38:17.190 --> 00:38:20.909
in particular or legion slash chapters have bragging

00:38:20.909 --> 00:38:22.309
rights because they're just like oh where were

00:38:22.309 --> 00:38:25.190
you ultramarines where were you dark angels when

00:38:25.190 --> 00:38:27.130
we needed you and then the dark angels friends

00:38:27.130 --> 00:38:28.769
would be like we had courseway in there it's

00:38:28.769 --> 00:38:31.590
like that doesn't count where was like the bulkier

00:38:31.590 --> 00:38:35.050
forces and so But of the three, the Imperial

00:38:35.050 --> 00:38:37.769
Fists are the proudest of the fact that they

00:38:37.769 --> 00:38:41.409
were here when they were first founded. And in

00:38:41.409 --> 00:38:43.710
its moment of direst need, they were here when

00:38:43.710 --> 00:38:48.210
they needed to be. Pretty much most of all of

00:38:48.210 --> 00:38:51.150
the battles that were going on in the Sol system

00:38:51.150 --> 00:38:54.190
were at the discretion of the Imperial Fists

00:38:54.190 --> 00:38:57.269
because they'd been there for seven years preparing.

00:38:57.789 --> 00:39:00.690
The Sol system, they broke up into five concentric

00:39:00.690 --> 00:39:05.159
rings of defenses. And they knew they weren't

00:39:05.159 --> 00:39:07.519
going to stop the invasion of the traitors. They

00:39:07.519 --> 00:39:11.039
were just like, we need to buy as much time until

00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:13.960
the Ultramarines get here. And the Dark Angels,

00:39:14.039 --> 00:39:15.780
but no one cares that the Dark Angels, they were

00:39:15.780 --> 00:39:18.320
like, we want the boys in blue to rescue us.

00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:20.980
They said, help me, Robute Gilliman. You're my

00:39:20.980 --> 00:39:23.500
only hope, said the Imperial Fists and everyone

00:39:23.500 --> 00:39:27.500
else on Terra. So much so that to this day, they

00:39:27.500 --> 00:39:31.969
also have monuments that were created. in honor

00:39:31.969 --> 00:39:34.889
of all the uh imperial fists that died on terror

00:39:34.889 --> 00:39:37.730
and they lost a lot like they had of the free

00:39:37.730 --> 00:39:41.389
legions like the white scars had been just they

00:39:41.389 --> 00:39:43.929
were caught in the heresy tried to uncover what

00:39:43.929 --> 00:39:45.789
was going on they made all haste to get back

00:39:45.789 --> 00:39:47.630
to terror and they lost a lot of men on the way

00:39:47.630 --> 00:39:52.059
blood angels did the whole uh with the Ultramarines

00:39:52.059 --> 00:39:54.260
and Dark Angels, and they just managed to get

00:39:54.260 --> 00:39:55.900
through the Ruin Storm to get to Holy Terra in

00:39:55.900 --> 00:39:58.219
time. Space Wolves could have helped, but they

00:39:58.219 --> 00:40:00.059
thought, we're going to try and assassinate Horus.

00:40:00.139 --> 00:40:04.000
That didn't go so well. Raven Guard, Raven Guard

00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:05.800
got with them, and they're like, oh, you guys

00:40:05.800 --> 00:40:07.699
are pretty knackered, and they're like, you're

00:40:07.699 --> 00:40:09.739
the Raven Guard. You're telling us we look knackered?

00:40:09.860 --> 00:40:14.489
You guys are Istvan. So realistically... Probably

00:40:14.489 --> 00:40:17.789
the most losses on the Siege of Terror were incurred

00:40:17.789 --> 00:40:21.110
by the Imperial Fists because, yes, they had

00:40:21.110 --> 00:40:23.309
the biggest army to start with before the battle

00:40:23.309 --> 00:40:25.309
had been joined, but they were there on every

00:40:25.309 --> 00:40:27.929
single planet in the Sol System. They were on

00:40:27.929 --> 00:40:30.349
every wall of every part of the palace. They

00:40:30.349 --> 00:40:33.929
were bleeding heavily to protect the Throne World,

00:40:34.010 --> 00:40:37.909
and they managed to pull it off, those crazy

00:40:37.909 --> 00:40:40.630
bastards. But to be fair, they had the white

00:40:40.630 --> 00:40:42.230
scars on their side, so of course they were going

00:40:42.230 --> 00:40:44.300
to win. Yeah, there it is. That's the best decision.

00:40:44.559 --> 00:40:48.920
Had to put that in somewhere. You will fall before

00:40:48.920 --> 00:40:53.000
the might of the Ultramarines one day. Also,

00:40:53.099 --> 00:40:54.920
fun fact, in the footage you're seeing as we're

00:40:54.920 --> 00:40:56.539
playing an Imperial Fist, he's carrying a White

00:40:56.539 --> 00:40:59.480
Scars patterned bolter because I had to slip

00:40:59.480 --> 00:41:04.420
it in. Yeah, yeah, you know. But yeah, so Thronewell's

00:41:04.420 --> 00:41:07.420
defended. Imperial Fist survived. What happens

00:41:07.420 --> 00:41:10.579
from there on? Well, bear in mind, Horus Heresy

00:41:10.579 --> 00:41:13.260
starts at the very beginning of the 31st millennium.

00:41:14.619 --> 00:41:21.559
About 1 ,500 years later, during 544 .M32, a

00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:25.920
bit of a problem happens. It's called the War

00:41:25.920 --> 00:41:30.860
of the Beast. Now, the War of the Beast is basically,

00:41:30.860 --> 00:41:35.679
in simple terms, Colin has said in the past,

00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:38.079
for example, when we've covered the Eldar, when

00:41:38.079 --> 00:41:40.800
they were in charge, they treated orcs like they

00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:42.699
were pruning a hedge. You had to make sure you

00:41:42.699 --> 00:41:45.300
got rid of the branches when they got too long.

00:41:46.019 --> 00:41:48.880
Every now and then you got to be like, hey, this

00:41:48.880 --> 00:41:54.500
is getting a little bit excessive. Well, the

00:41:54.500 --> 00:41:56.840
Imperium at the beginning of the 31st millennium

00:41:56.840 --> 00:41:59.280
is really busy doing the scouring, getting rid

00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:02.519
of the traitors. And so during this time, we

00:42:02.519 --> 00:42:05.510
have things like, for example, Everyone's chasing

00:42:05.510 --> 00:42:07.989
the enemies to the Eye of Terror. In that time,

00:42:08.050 --> 00:42:11.570
we do have the Iron Cage, where the greatest

00:42:11.570 --> 00:42:14.429
grudge match in the universe happens between

00:42:14.429 --> 00:42:16.929
the Iron Warriors and Imperial Fists, where Dawn,

00:42:17.010 --> 00:42:19.510
in a rage, goes, I know it's a trap. We're just

00:42:19.510 --> 00:42:24.309
going to run in. I'm angry. I'm angry. And my

00:42:24.309 --> 00:42:27.670
dad is on a big chair, and he won't talk to me

00:42:27.670 --> 00:42:31.670
anymore, said Dawn. And then Perderaba said,

00:42:31.829 --> 00:42:33.750
you're cringe. And then Dawn said, I don't...

00:42:34.139 --> 00:42:37.019
talking internet jargon and then they headbutted

00:42:37.019 --> 00:42:40.320
each other um and during that time the imperial

00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:43.219
fist had heavy losses until again the boys in

00:42:43.219 --> 00:42:46.659
blue pulled them out of the fire but because

00:42:46.659 --> 00:42:50.000
of that and also because of um so many other

00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:53.400
factors of you know all the primarchs are going

00:42:53.400 --> 00:42:55.599
missing at this point you know leman russ is

00:42:55.599 --> 00:42:58.599
off to find the tree of life uh jagatai khan

00:42:58.599 --> 00:43:00.539
is just charging through the webway to kill the

00:43:00.539 --> 00:43:04.059
drukari and pretty much like Gilliman's wounded.

00:43:04.159 --> 00:43:07.500
He's now on Ultramar feeling a bit ill because

00:43:07.500 --> 00:43:09.679
he's been stabbed by a poisonous blade. All the

00:43:09.679 --> 00:43:13.039
Primarchs are gone. And because they haven't

00:43:13.039 --> 00:43:15.340
been keeping an eye on the Orcs, they've managed

00:43:15.340 --> 00:43:18.420
to make the biggest army that the Imperium has

00:43:18.420 --> 00:43:22.619
seen since the Ulanor triumph. And funnily enough,

00:43:22.780 --> 00:43:26.320
the Orcs are particularly interested in Ulanor

00:43:26.320 --> 00:43:29.019
because that's where their species originates

00:43:29.019 --> 00:43:31.670
from. And they are not happy. that it's been

00:43:31.670 --> 00:43:36.050
in imperial hands for so long so out of the chaos

00:43:36.050 --> 00:43:38.989
the imperial fists are stationed around terra

00:43:38.989 --> 00:43:42.949
and somehow the orcs fight their way all the

00:43:42.949 --> 00:43:45.710
way to the throne room their friend world and

00:43:45.710 --> 00:43:48.489
it's like oh gosh they've got these moon -sized

00:43:48.489 --> 00:43:52.889
like planet telling they've retrofitted a moon

00:43:52.889 --> 00:43:55.130
into a bat like a death star they have several

00:43:55.130 --> 00:43:57.530
death stars and they are green and this is not

00:43:57.530 --> 00:44:00.469
good fun to the point where they send an emissary

00:44:00.469 --> 00:44:04.670
to the throne room and be like hey um it's over

00:44:04.670 --> 00:44:08.269
like we're gonna destroy you not not even like

00:44:08.269 --> 00:44:10.329
giving terms of surrender because like you can't

00:44:10.329 --> 00:44:11.829
have a good fight if the enemy's not fighting

00:44:11.829 --> 00:44:14.150
back but just like hey by the way send your best

00:44:14.150 --> 00:44:19.369
men we're gonna kill you all haha i thought he

00:44:19.369 --> 00:44:22.590
did offer surrender i thought he was like i swear

00:44:22.590 --> 00:44:25.210
i may if i'm imagining this or this was something

00:44:25.210 --> 00:44:28.070
i completely like read wrong do let me know.

00:44:28.349 --> 00:44:32.250
But wasn't it like the beast has you by the guts,

00:44:32.369 --> 00:44:34.309
surrender you get to keep them, struggle to rip

00:44:34.309 --> 00:44:38.989
them out? Yeah, I think it was more like surrender,

00:44:39.090 --> 00:44:43.309
but we're going to kill you anyway. It's like,

00:44:43.429 --> 00:44:45.650
I always find that it's a bit of a strange thing

00:44:45.650 --> 00:44:47.769
because orcs are all about fighting. So the idea

00:44:47.769 --> 00:44:49.349
that the Imperium would surrender and they'd

00:44:49.349 --> 00:44:52.150
be like, well, they're going to take prisoners.

00:44:53.269 --> 00:44:56.050
They're just going to kill them anyway. I think

00:44:56.050 --> 00:44:58.500
it's more of a... I think it's more like a saving

00:44:58.500 --> 00:45:00.940
face, like, hey, it's like a taunt, like, hey,

00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:04.019
you could surrender. I guess, yeah, that's true.

00:45:04.159 --> 00:45:08.579
You probably also don't bring in an attack moon

00:45:08.579 --> 00:45:12.539
if you don't plan on doing it. Yeah, and you

00:45:12.539 --> 00:45:14.500
are correct that they do say surrender, but I

00:45:14.500 --> 00:45:17.840
always read that more of like, it's an option,

00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:19.940
but they know they're not going to surrender.

00:45:20.219 --> 00:45:21.980
We know you're not going to surrender. We're

00:45:21.980 --> 00:45:26.860
just trolling a little bit, said the orc. During

00:45:26.860 --> 00:45:29.500
this time, fortunately, Vulcan turns up out of

00:45:29.500 --> 00:45:31.360
nowhere. Like, where have you been? I was dead,

00:45:31.500 --> 00:45:34.679
but I got better, said Vulcan. So he's about

00:45:34.679 --> 00:45:39.579
the Imperial Fists because they are always, always

00:45:39.579 --> 00:45:42.340
the last line of defense for Holy Terror. That's

00:45:42.340 --> 00:45:44.619
their thing. And this is kind of why in the lore

00:45:44.619 --> 00:45:46.460
of the current setting, they're kind of stagnant

00:45:46.460 --> 00:45:49.079
because where are the Fists? Somewhere around

00:45:49.079 --> 00:45:53.239
Terror, usually. Because that's their whole deal.

00:45:53.260 --> 00:45:55.500
They protect the throne work. They are the Praetorians

00:45:55.500 --> 00:45:59.159
of Terror. where are they at home eating crisps

00:45:59.159 --> 00:46:03.579
um and and so they are there they are active

00:46:03.579 --> 00:46:06.219
ultramarines i think are cut off by warp storm

00:46:06.219 --> 00:46:08.400
so like they struggle to get to the throne throne

00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:10.619
world a lot of chapters are in disarray there's

00:46:10.619 --> 00:46:13.639
campaigns going on all over the place and during

00:46:13.639 --> 00:46:16.380
the time when the legions became chapters rogal

00:46:16.380 --> 00:46:20.199
dawn looked at the codex astartes and went that's

00:46:20.199 --> 00:46:24.019
cringe and so he hated the idea of breaking the

00:46:24.019 --> 00:46:27.840
legions up because why would you make the army

00:46:27.840 --> 00:46:30.679
smaller they're better when they're bigger bigger

00:46:30.679 --> 00:46:35.199
bigger closed fist makes more damage um that

00:46:35.199 --> 00:46:38.679
was until his own men he is spitting but he also

00:46:38.679 --> 00:46:41.539
had a change of heart when his own men almost

00:46:41.539 --> 00:46:43.880
started another horrorous heresy firing upon

00:46:43.880 --> 00:46:47.400
suspicious human vessels and then he kind of

00:46:47.400 --> 00:46:49.960
saw like oh well if i was in command of every

00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:53.380
small skirmish i wouldn't make a mistake but

00:46:53.380 --> 00:46:56.619
i can't trust my own men to oh i see what i will

00:46:56.619 --> 00:46:59.000
relent rabute i will relent and then as soon

00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:01.219
as rabute left the room he gathered all of his

00:47:01.219 --> 00:47:04.840
chapter masters went guys i've got an idea just

00:47:04.840 --> 00:47:07.960
in case just in case we ever want to be a legion

00:47:07.960 --> 00:47:10.320
again kind of like what the space wolves do but

00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:12.820
less drunk we'll have this thing called the last

00:47:12.820 --> 00:47:16.780
wall protocol where it's like a it's like a rallying

00:47:16.780 --> 00:47:19.480
call where all the sons of Rogaldorn, every chapter

00:47:19.480 --> 00:47:22.599
who is based off the Imperial Fist will convene

00:47:22.599 --> 00:47:26.780
and fight as a bespoke legion. So we'll put all

00:47:26.780 --> 00:47:29.880
of our forces together and only in the most dire

00:47:29.880 --> 00:47:33.360
circumstances do we press this emergency, do

00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:36.000
we break this emergency glass and pull out the

00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:39.059
last war protocol. These chapters are the Black

00:47:39.059 --> 00:47:42.300
Templars, Excoriators, Crimson Fists, Iron Knights,

00:47:42.539 --> 00:47:45.320
Fists Exemplar, and Soul Drinkers. Shout out.

00:47:45.980 --> 00:47:51.420
shout out to the soul drinkers um so from rooms

00:47:51.420 --> 00:47:54.119
from throne world is under threat emperor could

00:47:54.119 --> 00:47:56.440
literally be killed by an orc that would be embarrassing

00:47:56.440 --> 00:47:59.119
so the imperial fist say how about we do the

00:47:59.119 --> 00:48:01.539
last wall protocol thing and it kind of works

00:48:01.539 --> 00:48:05.300
um there are other forces present during the

00:48:05.300 --> 00:48:06.739
war of the beast like i'm sure there is like

00:48:06.739 --> 00:48:08.539
a contingent of ultra marines like a company

00:48:08.539 --> 00:48:11.400
and there's here and there but like every one

00:48:11.400 --> 00:48:13.800
of these chapters turns up in force that are

00:48:13.800 --> 00:48:16.690
are descended from the imperial fists and they

00:48:16.690 --> 00:48:21.110
body some orcs however the current lord commander

00:48:21.110 --> 00:48:24.449
is an imperial fist captain known as slaughter

00:48:24.449 --> 00:48:28.710
by his his friends but he's called cooland cooland's

00:48:28.710 --> 00:48:31.469
a pretty good strategist he goes wow this this

00:48:31.469 --> 00:48:34.309
beast in charge of the uh the orcs is pretty

00:48:34.309 --> 00:48:37.829
pretty dangerous we should go kill him and so

00:48:37.829 --> 00:48:39.949
they say he stages a mission we're gonna go kill

00:48:39.949 --> 00:48:43.079
the beast And he does. He finds the throne room.

00:48:43.139 --> 00:48:45.539
He kills the beast. But he notices that there's

00:48:45.539 --> 00:48:48.000
like, there isn't just like one big chair that

00:48:48.000 --> 00:48:52.300
the beast sits on. There's several chairs. And

00:48:52.300 --> 00:48:55.679
to his horror, he realizes, oh no, we killed

00:48:55.679 --> 00:48:59.619
a beast, but there'd be more beasts. Then the

00:48:59.619 --> 00:49:04.579
beasts body him and he dies as the last remaining

00:49:04.579 --> 00:49:09.980
Imperial fist ever. Chapter is extinct. No more

00:49:09.980 --> 00:49:14.300
fists. They fisted their last orifices. It's

00:49:14.300 --> 00:49:19.360
over. And then the Black Templars became the

00:49:19.360 --> 00:49:21.780
best chapter and everyone loved them instead.

00:49:22.340 --> 00:49:26.460
It was a case of, okay, everyone's dead. Now,

00:49:26.460 --> 00:49:30.139
at this point, another once imperial fist known

00:49:30.139 --> 00:49:34.059
as Maximus Fane steps into the ring. Now, this

00:49:34.059 --> 00:49:37.789
guy... is a beast he was a veteran during the

00:49:37.789 --> 00:49:40.590
siege of terror he was i believe i have in my

00:49:40.590 --> 00:49:45.449
notes here he was the i don't have my he was

00:49:45.449 --> 00:49:49.010
a captain oh here we go 22nd captain of the imperial

00:49:49.010 --> 00:49:51.550
fist legion he fought alongside rauderon during

00:49:51.550 --> 00:49:54.010
the siege of terror man's been around for over

00:49:54.010 --> 00:49:56.309
a thousand years like people's like dante's old

00:49:56.309 --> 00:49:59.309
this guy's like a thousand five hundred years

00:49:59.309 --> 00:50:03.289
old after the siege this is an old astartes He

00:50:03.289 --> 00:50:06.030
old, he knows what's going on. And at this point,

00:50:06.110 --> 00:50:09.030
he's the chapter master of the Fists Exemplar.

00:50:09.230 --> 00:50:12.929
Fun fact, Fists Exemplar are the only second

00:50:12.929 --> 00:50:15.909
founding chapter successor that has no artwork

00:50:15.909 --> 00:50:19.110
or even a logo. Because of course they don't.

00:50:19.110 --> 00:50:21.289
Why would they? Not like they're an important

00:50:21.289 --> 00:50:26.829
chapter or anything. Maximus goes, right, we

00:50:26.829 --> 00:50:30.230
can't just let like, we'll never hear the end

00:50:30.230 --> 00:50:34.539
of it. If it's like, wait. The Raven Guard outlasted

00:50:34.539 --> 00:50:37.280
us, and they were at Isfahan, and there was barely

00:50:37.280 --> 00:50:39.420
any of them to begin with, and everything's about

00:50:39.420 --> 00:50:41.460
birds. That would be embarrassing. Right, we

00:50:41.460 --> 00:50:44.619
need to, like, remake the Imperial Fists. And

00:50:44.619 --> 00:50:46.360
so they do. He basically goes, okay, we'll win

00:50:46.360 --> 00:50:49.059
this War of the Beasts first. Gets rid of the

00:50:49.059 --> 00:50:52.960
beasts. Beasts are gone. Yay. We win. And then

00:50:52.960 --> 00:50:54.820
he's now Lord Commander of the Imperium, and

00:50:54.820 --> 00:50:57.659
he says, right, we've all bled together, we've

00:50:57.659 --> 00:51:00.309
all fought together. I'm now going to become

00:51:00.309 --> 00:51:02.730
the chapter master of the imperial fists. I'm

00:51:02.730 --> 00:51:05.909
going to tie a portion of my fists exemplar to

00:51:05.909 --> 00:51:09.750
rebuild. You guys should also tie some men as

00:51:09.750 --> 00:51:11.130
well. And at first they're all like, Hey, we've

00:51:11.130 --> 00:51:13.050
just been like for a massive war. We've barely

00:51:13.050 --> 00:51:15.449
got anyone left, but then they go, well, what's

00:51:15.449 --> 00:51:17.469
the point of being a successor of a dead chapter?

00:51:17.650 --> 00:51:21.510
That doesn't make sense. Okay. So imperial fists

00:51:21.510 --> 00:51:24.090
are reconstituted with black Templars, soul drinkers

00:51:24.090 --> 00:51:28.159
with. executioners the boys of fafnir ran and

00:51:28.159 --> 00:51:30.480
because of this they go a little bit through

00:51:30.480 --> 00:51:34.000
a renaissance where some of the guys are incorporated

00:51:34.000 --> 00:51:36.940
are great jewelists because they are black templars

00:51:36.940 --> 00:51:39.119
some are really good at boarding actions because

00:51:39.119 --> 00:51:41.940
they are executioners some of them are very heroic

00:51:41.940 --> 00:51:44.460
like the crimson fist guys and they they start

00:51:44.460 --> 00:51:46.320
to realize like oh this is actually a good thing

00:51:46.320 --> 00:51:49.019
because we're all sons of dawn but now we've

00:51:49.019 --> 00:51:53.679
obviously are previous chapter was not up to

00:51:53.679 --> 00:51:55.820
snuff because it was too predictable. It was

00:51:55.820 --> 00:51:58.940
too rigid. Now we've got some new ideas that

00:51:58.940 --> 00:52:02.139
we can put together. And these successor chapters

00:52:02.139 --> 00:52:03.679
wouldn't have survived if they weren't capable.

00:52:03.880 --> 00:52:06.760
We will use these to make the Imperial Fists

00:52:06.760 --> 00:52:10.699
bigger and better than ever before. And that's

00:52:10.699 --> 00:52:13.460
kind of the last major thing the chapter does,

00:52:13.599 --> 00:52:17.940
if I'm honest. They are around in the... era

00:52:17.940 --> 00:52:20.420
indomitus they're in the battle fleet gothic

00:52:20.420 --> 00:52:24.500
game they do stuff but they are very like and

00:52:24.500 --> 00:52:28.420
we mentioned this a little bit before the black

00:52:28.420 --> 00:52:32.280
templars and crimson fists specifically are way

00:52:32.280 --> 00:52:35.139
more popular because they are crusading chapters

00:52:35.139 --> 00:52:39.179
they go out and proactively do some damage imperial

00:52:39.179 --> 00:52:42.400
fists don't have that luxury and unfortunately

00:52:42.400 --> 00:52:49.630
they are written extremely inconsistently I was

00:52:49.630 --> 00:52:53.869
speaking to Sandman of Terror, Alex Quipsternerd.

00:52:54.110 --> 00:52:56.829
He loathes the Fist of the Imperium book because

00:52:56.829 --> 00:53:00.030
it's basically, if it's the audiobook version,

00:53:00.190 --> 00:53:02.050
like seven hours of the Imperial Fists running

00:53:02.050 --> 00:53:03.829
into a trap, running into a trap, running into

00:53:03.829 --> 00:53:05.869
a trap and going, whoa, we can't come up with

00:53:05.869 --> 00:53:08.269
new ideas. Oh, I know it's a trap. I know it's

00:53:08.269 --> 00:53:10.730
a trap, but we've got to do something. And it's

00:53:10.730 --> 00:53:12.989
like, oh. And a lot of people don't like that

00:53:12.989 --> 00:53:16.340
book because it's... It's making the Imperial

00:53:16.340 --> 00:53:19.699
Fists look like chumps. And these are supposed

00:53:19.699 --> 00:53:27.199
to be quite clever spacemen. Legendary. I feel

00:53:27.199 --> 00:53:32.139
like if they did something... Have them be more

00:53:32.139 --> 00:53:34.780
defense in depth or have them running around

00:53:34.780 --> 00:53:38.539
desperately trying to protect all the different

00:53:38.539 --> 00:53:41.179
sectors. Supposedly, the Imperium's on defense.

00:53:41.960 --> 00:53:44.139
At all angles, it's like you'd think someone

00:53:44.139 --> 00:53:46.639
would, you know, surely the defending chapter

00:53:46.639 --> 00:53:48.840
would be great for moving around, setting into

00:53:48.840 --> 00:53:52.039
high -value locations. If the custodians get

00:53:52.039 --> 00:53:54.860
to run around and do stuff, which makes no sense

00:53:54.860 --> 00:53:57.460
at all whatsoever, you'd think the Imperial Fists

00:53:57.460 --> 00:53:59.639
would get to go walk around a little bit. And

00:53:59.639 --> 00:54:02.139
to be fair, I haven't really gone in -depth with

00:54:02.139 --> 00:54:05.260
the Captain Lysander stuff, because he's a weird

00:54:05.260 --> 00:54:08.139
character. He is the first captain of the Imperial

00:54:08.139 --> 00:54:11.460
Fists, but he got lost in the war. So he's just

00:54:11.460 --> 00:54:14.559
like a really... None of the currently serving

00:54:14.559 --> 00:54:19.159
Imperial Fists served with Lysander when he was

00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:20.559
first part of the Legion because he was gone

00:54:20.559 --> 00:54:22.440
for hundreds of years. And then he came up and

00:54:22.440 --> 00:54:23.940
he just turned up and they're like, hey, you're

00:54:23.940 --> 00:54:25.960
that guy that we know about from the past times.

00:54:26.159 --> 00:54:31.519
And he's like, hello. I'm back. And some of their

00:54:31.519 --> 00:54:38.480
weird... Hey, all you people. And they're also

00:54:38.480 --> 00:54:41.349
like... the death watch have some cool imperial

00:54:41.349 --> 00:54:42.869
fist characters but they're stuck in the death

00:54:42.869 --> 00:54:44.769
watch like they have a dreadnought i've just

00:54:44.769 --> 00:54:47.409
done a video on it's out next week he was alive

00:54:47.409 --> 00:54:50.090
during the 34th millennium he's still kicking

00:54:50.090 --> 00:54:54.710
as a dreadnought but he's basically his whole

00:54:54.710 --> 00:54:57.170
thing is he's like a boomer he's like space marines

00:54:57.170 --> 00:54:59.650
were better in my day and he he can't really

00:54:59.650 --> 00:55:01.429
remember what's going on in the current battles

00:55:01.429 --> 00:55:03.349
he's fighting he just kind of thinks he's stuck

00:55:03.349 --> 00:55:05.550
in the 34th millennium and he's a bit senile

00:55:06.110 --> 00:55:08.809
uh there's there's even a death watch comic book

00:55:08.809 --> 00:55:11.530
series and the main character is an imperial

00:55:11.530 --> 00:55:14.269
fist guy but he's again he's stuck in the death

00:55:14.269 --> 00:55:19.170
watch so uh doesn't really do much for the uh

00:55:19.170 --> 00:55:21.750
imperial fists you you hit a you hit a like a

00:55:21.750 --> 00:55:24.050
level of cool and then you're like shunted out

00:55:24.050 --> 00:55:30.250
of the imperial fists go somewhere else And even

00:55:30.250 --> 00:55:32.750
like probably the most popular, I would say probably

00:55:32.750 --> 00:55:34.590
the most well -known character is Tor Garadon,

00:55:34.710 --> 00:55:37.070
who's third captain. He's got the red pauldron

00:55:37.070 --> 00:55:40.449
trim. He's got like enormous Gravis armor. And

00:55:40.449 --> 00:55:42.610
he's got like, he looks like Chip Hazard from

00:55:42.610 --> 00:55:45.449
Toy Soldiers. He's got like the buzz cut. He's

00:55:45.449 --> 00:55:47.949
pretty cool. He's in the Watchers of the Throne

00:55:47.949 --> 00:55:50.230
books. He turns up and he's like, hey, what?

00:55:51.699 --> 00:55:54.340
Oh, we're going to defend the Imperium, get rid

00:55:54.340 --> 00:55:56.320
of these Chaos Demons. Fantastic. I feel like

00:55:56.320 --> 00:55:58.119
I'm remembering something. Also, unlike Hal,

00:55:58.219 --> 00:56:02.460
sick dodge on that Trigon. This footage, I'm

00:56:02.460 --> 00:56:04.320
trying my best. You dodged it out of the ground

00:56:04.320 --> 00:56:06.639
and you couldn't even see it. Hal consecutively

00:56:06.639 --> 00:56:09.920
four times backwards dodge rolled into a charging

00:56:09.920 --> 00:56:14.320
Thousand Suns Terminator. Wow. That man must

00:56:14.320 --> 00:56:18.780
never play a Dark Souls game in his life. Anyways,

00:56:19.179 --> 00:56:23.489
that aside. uh yeah do they when they i i that

00:56:23.489 --> 00:56:25.449
was a complete sidetrack of the actual point

00:56:25.449 --> 00:56:28.309
i wanted to bring up when when gilman came back

00:56:28.309 --> 00:56:30.590
right you know he goes on his merry crusade all

00:56:30.590 --> 00:56:32.869
the way back to tara like before the indominus

00:56:32.869 --> 00:56:34.829
crusade property still going back to talk to

00:56:34.829 --> 00:56:39.170
dad he gets to you know he gets to the moon uh

00:56:39.170 --> 00:56:42.750
magnus is there did the fist even show up because

00:56:42.750 --> 00:56:44.889
all i remember is the custodians and the sisters

00:56:44.889 --> 00:56:47.809
of silence um well they're there during the watch

00:56:47.809 --> 00:56:52.019
in the frame which is like Afterwards, I think

00:56:52.019 --> 00:56:55.260
they were off duty somewhere. So a demon primarch

00:56:55.260 --> 00:56:58.019
showed up, and they couldn't do the one thing

00:56:58.019 --> 00:57:01.320
they're supposedly doing. Here is the fundamental

00:57:01.320 --> 00:57:03.639
issue of the Imperial Fists. They're a fleet

00:57:03.639 --> 00:57:05.699
-based chapter, but they're not on a crusade

00:57:05.699 --> 00:57:09.119
footing. They have to always be revolving around

00:57:09.119 --> 00:57:11.139
the phalanx, because if they lose the phalanx,

00:57:11.199 --> 00:57:13.800
that's the coolest thing about their army gone.

00:57:14.400 --> 00:57:16.699
And they know that they can't lose the phalanx.

00:57:17.519 --> 00:57:20.739
The phalanx has been through hell. It's been

00:57:20.739 --> 00:57:23.800
retrofit. It's been repaired thanks to the vaults

00:57:23.800 --> 00:57:26.000
of the custodians bringing some eldritch thing

00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:27.820
out of there to get it restocked and supplied

00:57:27.820 --> 00:57:32.480
and repaired somehow. But wherever the phalanx

00:57:32.480 --> 00:57:34.880
is, that's where the fists are. And with like,

00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:37.760
for example, Fist of the Imperium, again, it's

00:57:37.760 --> 00:57:40.239
a librarian who's taken out the 36th millennium,

00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:43.420
put into deep freeze by call, made into a primaris.

00:57:44.489 --> 00:57:47.789
he sent to like a planet infested with gene stealers

00:57:47.789 --> 00:57:52.510
but it's just some planet it's not it's it's

00:57:52.510 --> 00:57:55.389
it's not super compelling as like something you'd

00:57:55.389 --> 00:57:57.829
want a primogenitor chapter to do because it's

00:57:57.829 --> 00:58:00.130
just some world and it's like the fifth company

00:58:00.130 --> 00:58:01.550
and it's not even the full fifth company just

00:58:01.550 --> 00:58:05.349
like a bunch of the fifth company um the only

00:58:05.349 --> 00:58:07.630
character who's got like art is the main character

00:58:07.630 --> 00:58:10.550
who's on the cover and so it's like okay there's

00:58:10.550 --> 00:58:12.829
like why aren't we putting more stuff in for

00:58:13.449 --> 00:58:15.510
like lysander's been in a lot of those space

00:58:15.510 --> 00:58:17.070
marine battles books where it's like the hell's

00:58:17.070 --> 00:58:21.449
reach era um tor garadon he's in stuff but always

00:58:21.449 --> 00:58:26.789
as a support character and here's a problem chapter

00:58:26.789 --> 00:58:31.409
masters right right salamanders have a chapter

00:58:31.409 --> 00:58:34.570
master called tushan he's cool he has one piece

00:58:34.570 --> 00:58:36.389
of art and he doesn't have a mini but at least

00:58:36.389 --> 00:58:40.829
he's got a picture cave on strike got demoted

00:58:40.829 --> 00:58:43.980
this this last week from chapter master back

00:58:43.980 --> 00:58:45.619
to a captain because they've got a new model

00:58:45.619 --> 00:58:48.679
of avon shan okay okay fair enough but at least

00:58:48.679 --> 00:58:50.880
he's got a mini and cave on has been in books

00:58:50.880 --> 00:58:53.420
before he was in apocalypse and some other stuff

00:58:53.420 --> 00:58:56.820
he was in the uriel ventress books too imperial

00:58:56.820 --> 00:58:59.559
fists there was a voice crack there imperial

00:58:59.559 --> 00:59:03.500
fists have lost three chapter masters in recent

00:59:03.500 --> 00:59:06.920
years three of them to the point where i for

00:59:06.920 --> 00:59:09.860
a long time thought vladimir pew was still active

00:59:09.860 --> 00:59:12.150
but he's now dead He got killed by Tyranids during

00:59:12.150 --> 00:59:15.289
the Battle of Drashan. He was crazy. He carved

00:59:15.289 --> 00:59:17.289
the names of his dead kindred into his skin.

00:59:17.630 --> 00:59:20.369
And also he cut out his taste buds because he

00:59:20.369 --> 00:59:23.269
was like, I lost 170 men during one battle and

00:59:23.269 --> 00:59:26.010
the Emperor can't apparently smell or touch or

00:59:26.010 --> 00:59:28.630
taste anything. So I'm going to, as an act of

00:59:28.630 --> 00:59:30.670
penance, not enjoy food anymore because taste

00:59:30.670 --> 00:59:36.030
buds. Okay. Weirdo. Then you had Born Hagen.

00:59:36.150 --> 00:59:41.519
I thought Born Hagen was still alive. No, he

00:59:41.519 --> 00:59:44.440
died during the second invasion of Terra just

00:59:44.440 --> 00:59:46.119
after Watch of the Friends. So he's dead too.

00:59:47.260 --> 00:59:50.760
The guy in charge is now called Gregor Desian.

00:59:53.059 --> 00:59:57.079
His Wikipedia is like this big because he's not

00:59:57.079 --> 00:59:59.980
been in anything. There's a problem with a lot

00:59:59.980 --> 01:00:02.559
of these chapters. Some of these primogenitors

01:00:02.559 --> 01:00:04.219
have chapter masters. Some of them have like

01:00:04.219 --> 01:00:06.239
Cardan Stronus isn't technically a chapter master,

01:00:06.440 --> 01:00:08.119
but at least he's got some books. He's got two

01:00:08.119 --> 01:00:10.800
books and he's got... Some short stories. He

01:00:10.800 --> 01:00:13.539
doesn't have a mini, but he's got smart. Jabal

01:00:13.539 --> 01:00:16.420
Khan II was badly injured by the Red Corsairs,

01:00:16.420 --> 01:00:18.800
but he's still nominally in charge. You've got

01:00:18.800 --> 01:00:20.699
Dante. You've got Marnius Calgar. You've got

01:00:20.699 --> 01:00:24.699
Azrael, etc. Why don't we have a chapter master

01:00:24.699 --> 01:00:29.659
of the Imperial Fists that isn't dead or hasn't

01:00:29.659 --> 01:00:32.280
been dead for a long time? Maximus Vane died

01:00:32.280 --> 01:00:35.019
in lore 7 ,000 years ago, or 6 ,000 years ago.

01:00:35.079 --> 01:00:37.340
He's been gone a while, and he's cool, and he

01:00:37.340 --> 01:00:38.940
has a really cool... He's got that pose where

01:00:38.940 --> 01:00:41.179
he's there going with his fist in the air, because

01:00:41.179 --> 01:00:43.880
of course he does. But the fact that we have

01:00:43.880 --> 01:00:48.019
Pedro Cantor and we have High Marshal Helbrecht,

01:00:48.019 --> 01:00:53.099
we need an Imperial Fist Chapmaster. We got one

01:00:53.099 --> 01:00:54.860
for the... This is why I was a bit disappointed

01:00:54.860 --> 01:00:58.690
with... We've got a new Lysander mini. Lysander's

01:00:58.690 --> 01:01:01.449
cool, but we already had a mini for him. Can

01:01:01.449 --> 01:01:03.889
we not have something for the... And we talk

01:01:03.889 --> 01:01:07.409
about missing parts of the lore. I wish they'd

01:01:07.409 --> 01:01:10.610
have a book of the Imperial Fists that gives

01:01:10.610 --> 01:01:13.409
you, like, here is the chapter master. And you

01:01:13.409 --> 01:01:16.969
could even have a plotline where it's like, we've

01:01:16.969 --> 01:01:18.929
lost a lot of chapter masters in recent years.

01:01:19.070 --> 01:01:21.469
I don't know if I'm up to the task. We had guys

01:01:21.469 --> 01:01:23.530
like Maximus Fane in charge, and, you know...

01:01:24.210 --> 01:01:26.210
we've had all these great like heroes of the

01:01:26.210 --> 01:01:28.170
chapter am i up to snuff that could be like a

01:01:28.170 --> 01:01:30.070
really compelling and interesting book but they're

01:01:30.070 --> 01:01:32.030
not and it's not like an obscure chapter they

01:01:32.030 --> 01:01:34.170
could do it and that would be fun but they're

01:01:34.170 --> 01:01:37.670
like no imperial fist fans nah screw you no book

01:01:37.670 --> 01:01:42.090
for you which is a shame um it's very sad yeah

01:01:42.090 --> 01:01:45.730
also it doesn't help that their war cry is primarch

01:01:45.730 --> 01:01:48.670
primogenitor to your glory and the glory of him

01:01:48.670 --> 01:01:51.070
on earth yeah that's too long they got one of

01:01:51.070 --> 01:01:54.090
those way too like half of all quote -unquote

01:01:54.090 --> 01:01:56.650
battle cries in 40k are just straight -up sentences.

01:01:56.929 --> 01:02:01.429
That one's an entire thesis statement. You gotta

01:02:01.429 --> 01:02:07.090
tone that back a bit. Yeah. There's a reason

01:02:07.090 --> 01:02:10.010
for the Emperor catches on so well. It's point,

01:02:10.269 --> 01:02:16.349
snappy, it's punchy. Makes sense. And to be fair,

01:02:16.429 --> 01:02:18.250
there are some interesting little tidbits about

01:02:18.250 --> 01:02:21.170
their lore. They recruit from... not just the

01:02:21.170 --> 01:02:23.989
throne world but also harnish and necromunda

01:02:23.989 --> 01:02:26.909
their whole thing is like you could be a bit

01:02:26.909 --> 01:02:29.710
of hive scum or you could be the son of a king

01:02:29.710 --> 01:02:33.769
we don't care if you're good at what you do we're

01:02:33.769 --> 01:02:35.809
all equals and that's quite a nice thing for

01:02:35.809 --> 01:02:39.110
them to have um they are of course experts of

01:02:39.110 --> 01:02:41.849
siege warfare uh the difference between them

01:02:41.849 --> 01:02:43.329
and the iron warriors because they're kind of

01:02:43.329 --> 01:02:46.489
like mirror images of each other iron warriors

01:02:46.489 --> 01:02:50.699
are more like heavily armored They're more, like,

01:02:50.760 --> 01:02:54.260
drudging forward. They're more like, we'll make

01:02:54.260 --> 01:02:57.559
the armor so dense the bullets ping off us. Whereas

01:02:57.559 --> 01:03:01.420
the Imperial Fists... Yeah. And they're like,

01:03:01.539 --> 01:03:04.880
I made this panoply with a bunch of scraps in

01:03:04.880 --> 01:03:08.000
a cave. That's the Iron Warriors. But then, like,

01:03:08.059 --> 01:03:10.659
Imperial Fists are Tony Stark when he's not in

01:03:10.659 --> 01:03:12.980
a cave and he's got all the best toys and...

01:03:13.440 --> 01:03:15.980
His dad is one of the favorite sons of the Emperor.

01:03:16.320 --> 01:03:18.900
They get so much good stuff from Earth. They

01:03:18.900 --> 01:03:23.960
get so much good stuff. Also, I'm just going

01:03:23.960 --> 01:03:26.940
to say it. The Fists do their duty because it's

01:03:26.940 --> 01:03:30.760
their duty. They're not looking for more. They're

01:03:30.760 --> 01:03:35.239
perfectly content. Someone was like, I don't

01:03:35.239 --> 01:03:36.380
remember if I read it, but someone was like,

01:03:36.460 --> 01:03:39.159
look, if the Emperor walked up to them and said,

01:03:39.280 --> 01:03:41.929
you are for the rest of the Great Crusade, you

01:03:41.929 --> 01:03:45.750
are only washing windows. They would calmly nod

01:03:45.750 --> 01:03:48.369
and then go to it. Because they're like, this

01:03:48.369 --> 01:03:51.269
is what Big E needs, so it's what I'm going to

01:03:51.269 --> 01:03:55.289
do. Which, that level of humility, I think a

01:03:55.289 --> 01:03:57.550
whole lot of legions, not just Iron Warriors,

01:03:57.750 --> 01:04:01.010
could certainly use a little bit of that. Although,

01:04:01.070 --> 01:04:02.849
to be fair, and this is the only time I'll be

01:04:02.849 --> 01:04:04.929
fair to the Iron Warriors, to be fair to the

01:04:04.929 --> 01:04:07.230
Iron Warriors, they were like, why is it though

01:04:07.230 --> 01:04:10.000
that every campaign we do, all the auxiliaries

01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:12.079
are getting trench foot and it smells and it's

01:04:12.079 --> 01:04:14.619
horrible. And I hate it. Like, can't we just

01:04:14.619 --> 01:04:16.599
get like a nice mission once every 10? It's like,

01:04:16.639 --> 01:04:20.219
no, no, you just get dreadful mission after dreadful

01:04:20.219 --> 01:04:23.480
mission. I see. Now that would in a vacuum be

01:04:23.480 --> 01:04:26.739
a valid complaint. If they once ever requested

01:04:26.739 --> 01:04:30.619
a different war zone. You don't get what you

01:04:30.619 --> 01:04:34.260
don't ask for. Look, it's like, I'm not saying

01:04:34.260 --> 01:04:36.159
they weren't dealt a shit hand. You know, I do

01:04:36.159 --> 01:04:39.309
like the iron warriors Legion. That their dad

01:04:39.309 --> 01:04:42.849
can go pound sand for the rest of time. I like

01:04:42.849 --> 01:04:45.289
the Legion. The problem is, look, again, look.

01:04:46.869 --> 01:04:53.650
Ask. Just ask. That's not committing a lost Legion

01:04:53.650 --> 01:04:59.130
level offense. The worst he can say is no. And

01:04:59.130 --> 01:05:01.550
to be fair. With that, all of your bitterness

01:05:01.550 --> 01:05:03.650
would be justified. But you never once said,

01:05:03.730 --> 01:05:08.539
hey, can I try something different, please? And

01:05:08.539 --> 01:05:12.860
to be fair, they did have some pretty badass...

01:05:12.860 --> 01:05:16.059
Again, retroactively, they've been given some

01:05:16.059 --> 01:05:18.860
cool moments. They were sent to destroy Cephonia.

01:05:19.039 --> 01:05:22.039
That was kind of cool in recent lore. But again,

01:05:22.159 --> 01:05:24.340
it's an addition to the Horus Heresy era. They

01:05:24.340 --> 01:05:27.599
went to destroy the homeworld of Horus Lupercal.

01:05:28.170 --> 01:05:30.489
They sent the 9th and 14th Battalions and they

01:05:30.489 --> 01:05:33.289
fought alongside the Space Wolves 13th Great

01:05:33.289 --> 01:05:36.630
Company. Nothing can go wrong with those guys.

01:05:37.550 --> 01:05:41.510
And they were just like, hey, we need a symbolic

01:05:41.510 --> 01:05:43.969
victory against the traitors. If we kill the

01:05:43.969 --> 01:05:46.510
planet where the ringleader of the traitors is

01:05:46.510 --> 01:05:49.389
from, that should stop them from doing any more

01:05:49.389 --> 01:05:51.289
uprisings for a while. That's a good gesture

01:05:51.289 --> 01:05:55.349
of like... They just went and nuked every planet

01:05:55.349 --> 01:05:57.090
that the traitor Primarchs came from for good

01:05:57.090 --> 01:06:01.250
measure. But with help from the Dark Angels fleet

01:06:01.250 --> 01:06:04.130
of Marduk Sedras, they then vortex bombed the

01:06:04.130 --> 01:06:07.750
hell out of the planet and vortex bombs. It's

01:06:07.750 --> 01:06:09.949
not like, oh, we're just going to burn it, set

01:06:09.949 --> 01:06:13.510
it on fire. It's like, we are going to rend this

01:06:13.510 --> 01:06:17.059
planet into itty bitty bits. So there's nothing

01:06:17.059 --> 01:06:19.460
left apart from debris. That's what Cofonia is

01:06:19.460 --> 01:06:22.300
like now. It's kind of like when I got Darktide

01:06:22.300 --> 01:06:24.219
recently and I was making the character and you

01:06:24.219 --> 01:06:27.000
go to Cadia, the background is just like rubble.

01:06:28.039 --> 01:06:33.699
Too soon. Too soon. And yeah, they also practice

01:06:33.699 --> 01:06:37.340
scrimshoring where they basically take the bones

01:06:37.340 --> 01:06:40.190
of the dead and they kind of etch... names and

01:06:40.190 --> 01:06:42.670
patterns and stuff. They're kind of weirdos.

01:06:42.889 --> 01:06:47.050
They're very into hurting themselves. They love

01:06:47.050 --> 01:06:50.170
a bit of self -flagellation. They're like the

01:06:50.170 --> 01:06:53.809
pain glove. In case you don't know and you're

01:06:53.809 --> 01:06:56.449
listening to this, it's not a glove. It's a bodysuit.

01:06:56.610 --> 01:06:59.409
This thing is designed and Robledorn used it

01:06:59.409 --> 01:07:02.210
a lot. It's like, I'm going to meditate. Oh,

01:07:02.289 --> 01:07:05.510
with like chakras and like crystals. No, I'm

01:07:05.510 --> 01:07:07.440
going to put this thing on that just... sets

01:07:07.440 --> 01:07:12.340
every part of my nerve endings into just numbing

01:07:12.340 --> 01:07:17.079
pain so I can focus. All right, mate. I don't

01:07:17.079 --> 01:07:19.000
want to yuck your yum, but it's a bit weird to

01:07:19.000 --> 01:07:23.460
me. Who am I to correct a Primark, but have you

01:07:23.460 --> 01:07:27.699
tried yoga? I'm not here to kink shame a Primark,

01:07:27.739 --> 01:07:31.639
but geez, what's going on, Rogel? What if anyone

01:07:31.639 --> 01:07:35.239
else, but you? Interesting. And so like, yeah,

01:07:35.280 --> 01:07:38.059
they're all about like, Even in Fist of the Imperium,

01:07:38.139 --> 01:07:40.300
it's just like every time they get sent into

01:07:40.300 --> 01:07:42.360
another ambush by the Genestealers, it's like,

01:07:42.400 --> 01:07:44.320
I'm going to have such a long session in the

01:07:44.320 --> 01:07:46.840
pain glove when I get back to the ship. Yes,

01:07:46.900 --> 01:07:50.400
you are. And yeah, they're very stoic. They're

01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:54.579
very determined. Stone face, like the stone men

01:07:54.579 --> 01:07:58.340
that Garrow called them. Other than that, there's

01:07:58.340 --> 01:08:00.179
not all that much more other than I could briefly

01:08:00.179 --> 01:08:03.780
talk about some cool characters. But again...

01:08:04.809 --> 01:08:07.570
A lot of these are from the Horus Heresy setting.

01:08:08.070 --> 01:08:15.389
So you've got Sigismund, the Sigismund, the greatest

01:08:15.389 --> 01:08:17.890
space marine of them all. Like that's Sigismund.

01:08:17.949 --> 01:08:20.729
He's just like the best fighter that the space

01:08:20.729 --> 01:08:23.750
marines ever had. And he's a fan favorite. He's

01:08:23.750 --> 01:08:25.729
really good at fighting. He's not great at naval

01:08:25.729 --> 01:08:27.890
warfare, even though that's like a thing that

01:08:27.890 --> 01:08:30.890
the Imperial Fists are known for. Alexis Pollux,

01:08:31.109 --> 01:08:32.729
chapter master of the Crimson Fists, though.

01:08:33.229 --> 01:08:36.329
savant at naval warfare beat perterabo because

01:08:36.329 --> 01:08:39.010
it wasn't like i don't care how big your hammer

01:08:39.010 --> 01:08:43.529
is this is space warfare like smash that hammer

01:08:43.529 --> 01:08:46.170
of olympia and perterabo still did not learn

01:08:46.170 --> 01:08:50.989
this lesson when he landed on nope um fafnir

01:08:50.989 --> 01:08:54.930
ran is cool he's uh he's the seneschal seneschal

01:08:54.930 --> 01:08:58.770
of dawn he's uh from inwit He runs around with

01:08:58.770 --> 01:09:01.369
two axes and chops up anything in his way. He's

01:09:01.369 --> 01:09:03.569
great. He's got a big cheeky grin on all of his

01:09:03.569 --> 01:09:05.289
artworks while he's fighting. He's like, I love

01:09:05.289 --> 01:09:07.409
fighting with axes. And he went on to become

01:09:07.409 --> 01:09:09.609
the first chapter master of the Executioners,

01:09:09.649 --> 01:09:12.930
which are a fun chapter. Never forgive what they

01:09:12.930 --> 01:09:17.130
did to the Astral Claws. Never forgive me. Traitors.

01:09:17.289 --> 01:09:20.529
To be fair, it was a good judgment for the Executioners

01:09:20.529 --> 01:09:24.109
to be like, I don't know, like the comic Knuckles

01:09:24.109 --> 01:09:27.640
meme when they're like, as more and more chapters

01:09:27.640 --> 01:09:30.220
turn up to the Badab War, and then they have

01:09:30.220 --> 01:09:33.140
a moment of clarity and go, are we the baddies,

01:09:33.199 --> 01:09:36.340
but for real this time? Yeah, you are the baddiest

01:09:36.340 --> 01:09:39.680
baddies. Gosh darn traitors. What did the Astro

01:09:39.680 --> 01:09:41.960
Claws do wrong? They didn't want to pay taxes

01:09:41.960 --> 01:09:44.479
to the worst government in history. That's right.

01:09:44.939 --> 01:09:49.479
How dare they? It was a completely peaceful and

01:09:49.479 --> 01:09:52.359
justified uprising. I'm just going to say it

01:09:52.359 --> 01:09:56.159
again. You know, they had it right in 1776. No

01:09:56.159 --> 01:09:59.600
taxation without representation. All I'm saying

01:09:59.600 --> 01:10:01.779
is I'm not a space marine. I'm not a general.

01:10:01.880 --> 01:10:05.380
I don't know how to fight a war. Trying to destroy

01:10:05.380 --> 01:10:08.779
the Maelstrom with, like, the biggest crusade

01:10:08.779 --> 01:10:12.640
ever? That's mental. Now that one was a little

01:10:12.640 --> 01:10:16.500
bit goofy. I don't know, Huron. That's not a

01:10:16.500 --> 01:10:19.140
good idea, not to pay taxes. I'm just going to

01:10:19.140 --> 01:10:22.210
destroy everything in the Maelstrom. maelstrom's

01:10:22.210 --> 01:10:24.329
a big place dude and there's like demons in there

01:10:24.329 --> 01:10:26.689
i don't know the representation part though he

01:10:26.689 --> 01:10:29.710
was a real one for that the crusading into help

01:10:29.710 --> 01:10:32.189
it was you know maybe someone should have pulled

01:10:32.189 --> 01:10:35.930
him back on that one sorry if you've had explosions

01:10:35.930 --> 01:10:38.630
there is the oasis are playing tonight so i'm

01:10:38.630 --> 01:10:43.029
sorry if you can hear that um are we frequently

01:10:43.029 --> 01:10:47.319
arguing on street Did you see that? Yeah, I saw

01:10:47.319 --> 01:10:50.180
the W of a Discord message that we just got.

01:10:51.279 --> 01:10:54.060
Are we doing that frequently? I don't think so.

01:10:55.199 --> 01:10:58.079
Also, I would just like to say you have a Vegeta

01:10:58.079 --> 01:11:02.279
profile picture, so I'm winning in the end. Join

01:11:02.279 --> 01:11:07.319
the Discord. Oh, I see. Eli always wins, does

01:11:07.319 --> 01:11:09.760
he not? Why is there a Hal sticker on there?

01:11:10.100 --> 01:11:13.079
Because I like the Hal sticker. I do like that

01:11:13.079 --> 01:11:18.670
Hal sticker. But otherwise, and we mentioned

01:11:18.670 --> 01:11:21.529
Corland, we mentioned Maximus Fane, don't read

01:11:21.529 --> 01:11:24.329
Fist of the Imperium unless you like Genestealer's

01:11:24.329 --> 01:11:28.189
winning. That's why I've told Eli to read it.

01:11:28.189 --> 01:11:34.590
Completely accurate. Also, that book has a...

01:11:34.590 --> 01:11:36.550
This is very in character with the Imperial Fist.

01:11:36.689 --> 01:11:39.649
They have a company veteran. Guy gets buried

01:11:39.649 --> 01:11:45.270
in an explosion, survives. Then they're... base

01:11:45.270 --> 01:11:50.689
of operations gets invaded murks every single

01:11:50.689 --> 01:11:53.829
gene stealer that tries to kill him grievously

01:11:53.829 --> 01:11:55.609
wounded end of the book put in a dreadnought

01:11:55.609 --> 01:11:57.289
that's the kind of guys the imperial fist are

01:11:57.289 --> 01:11:59.390
they're like i don't care how many limbs i look

01:11:59.390 --> 01:12:01.189
he's the he's the black knight from monty python

01:12:01.189 --> 01:12:03.289
it's just like it's just a flesh wound like that's

01:12:03.289 --> 01:12:05.409
imperial fist down to a t they're never giving

01:12:05.409 --> 01:12:09.090
up they're always like bitterly pushing and struggling

01:12:09.090 --> 01:12:12.470
on never relenting a single like like the last

01:12:12.470 --> 01:12:15.930
wall um in Siege of Terror, you know, not one

01:12:15.930 --> 01:12:19.270
backward step, which their commander, what was

01:12:19.270 --> 01:12:25.470
his name? Captain Captain something. Just call

01:12:25.470 --> 01:12:28.449
him Rogelthorn, who cares? The naming structure,

01:12:28.489 --> 01:12:30.529
he's got like a, he's got a, I think a Latino

01:12:30.529 --> 01:12:33.289
inspired name, but Imperial Fists are weird.

01:12:33.350 --> 01:12:35.670
They've got like a lot of Russian names. Like,

01:12:35.670 --> 01:12:39.270
what's ahead? You've got Gregor. You've got,

01:12:39.270 --> 01:12:45.270
what's his name? the other you got gregor you've

01:12:45.270 --> 01:12:49.090
got i did a cat this dreadnought character i

01:12:49.090 --> 01:12:52.829
did a while ago it was something socks check

01:12:52.829 --> 01:12:56.430
it's like that's very sound russian sounding

01:12:56.430 --> 01:12:58.869
i think um also i've just realized the gameplay

01:12:58.869 --> 01:13:00.390
is almost over so i'm going to give you some

01:13:00.390 --> 01:13:03.670
more gameplay but this time as the chapter that

01:13:03.670 --> 01:13:07.770
people like to see which is uh the black templars

01:13:07.770 --> 01:13:10.270
sorry folks we're getting we're getting some

01:13:10.270 --> 01:13:13.510
black templars footage oh no we're not Oh, technical

01:13:13.510 --> 01:13:17.130
issues. Oh, no. Oh, no. Don't look at me. Don't

01:13:17.130 --> 01:13:19.750
look at me. While I sort this out, we could do

01:13:19.750 --> 01:13:21.329
some donations. Because I think, to be honest,

01:13:21.369 --> 01:13:24.590
other than that, there's not much else to cover.

01:13:25.590 --> 01:13:28.569
It's Imperial Fists, isn't it? I have a call

01:13:28.569 --> 01:13:32.130
-out to make. Oh. Eli is secretly the biggest

01:13:32.130 --> 01:13:35.909
Imperial Fists fan. And as my evidence... four

01:13:35.909 --> 01:13:39.210
out of five times we play survival and dawn of

01:13:39.210 --> 01:13:43.670
war modded it crashes one out of five times it

01:13:43.670 --> 01:13:46.510
doesn't crash i blink the game starts i blink

01:13:46.510 --> 01:13:50.989
a second time eli has five million turrets like

01:13:50.989 --> 01:13:55.449
the game's been going for two minutes how did

01:13:55.449 --> 01:13:58.210
you get the resources and let's never forget

01:13:58.210 --> 01:14:00.510
that dawn of war game that i was witness to where

01:14:00.960 --> 01:14:05.260
You just had that one turret. Just there. How

01:14:05.260 --> 01:14:08.859
do I break the invisibility? The siege of the

01:14:08.859 --> 01:14:12.579
listening post will be avenged by the single

01:14:12.579 --> 01:14:17.100
Tau Pathfinder team or whatever it was. We need

01:14:17.100 --> 01:14:21.960
another inevitable victory. Seeing as I've been

01:14:21.960 --> 01:14:24.000
yapping a while and Colin did the last bout of

01:14:24.000 --> 01:14:25.720
donations, do you want to read these ones out,

01:14:25.779 --> 01:14:29.180
Eli? Carson C., thank you for the $10. Glad to

01:14:29.180 --> 01:14:31.199
catch you guys live again. Best Warhammer podcast

01:14:31.199 --> 01:14:33.899
there is. Thank you. Thank you. By the way, who

01:14:33.899 --> 01:14:35.979
do you guys think could build a better society

01:14:35.979 --> 01:14:38.279
on their own? Ultramarines or Imperial Fists?

01:14:38.279 --> 01:14:40.579
Still Ultramarines. Because you don't want the

01:14:40.579 --> 01:14:43.640
guy being in charge of your society also being

01:14:43.640 --> 01:14:46.380
the pain glove guy. I think it's a... I think,

01:14:46.399 --> 01:14:48.939
you know, my housing would probably never collapse

01:14:48.939 --> 01:14:51.319
in a thousand years if Dorne was building it.

01:14:51.899 --> 01:14:55.060
That's it. But occasionally, if there was a bit

01:14:55.060 --> 01:14:57.319
wearing away, you'd see one of the bones of the

01:14:57.319 --> 01:14:59.319
guy. Because they literally put themselves in

01:14:59.319 --> 01:15:02.239
the foundations of unification war fortresses.

01:15:02.779 --> 01:15:05.279
Literally. And to be fair, the Ultramarines were

01:15:05.279 --> 01:15:08.699
also one of the only legions saying, after the

01:15:08.699 --> 01:15:11.199
war's over, what are we going to do? I'm going

01:15:11.199 --> 01:15:13.880
to be a politician. Good for you, mate. Good

01:15:13.880 --> 01:15:16.619
for you. Imperial Fists, they're on standby mode.

01:15:16.680 --> 01:15:19.939
They're waiting for a mission. Tell me what to

01:15:19.939 --> 01:15:22.890
do. tell me what to do daddy said to give them

01:15:22.890 --> 01:15:25.390
credit home invasions would drop to like negative

01:15:25.390 --> 01:15:31.189
20 percent if they were in charge yeah uh anger

01:15:31.189 --> 01:15:33.729
among us i think you're the five andy do you

01:15:33.729 --> 01:15:35.689
know why the minotaurs helped the crimson fists

01:15:35.689 --> 01:15:38.470
on rin's world i'm trying to figure out why they

01:15:38.470 --> 01:15:41.170
would do that for another chapter uh they were

01:15:41.170 --> 01:15:43.369
part of relief efforts so there were a few chapters

01:15:43.369 --> 01:15:46.670
that rinswell rinswell was really unfortunate

01:15:46.670 --> 01:15:51.020
because uh They accidentally blew up their own

01:15:51.020 --> 01:15:55.279
fortress monastery because of a tech issue. They

01:15:55.279 --> 01:15:57.439
weren't rubbing enough ungence on their machine

01:15:57.439 --> 01:16:00.380
spirits components. So they blew themselves up

01:16:00.380 --> 01:16:02.500
and lost pretty much all their men and knew they

01:16:02.500 --> 01:16:04.500
couldn't win on their own. They had to wait.

01:16:05.420 --> 01:16:08.180
And the Imperial Fist turned up as well and were

01:16:08.180 --> 01:16:10.640
like, oh, brothers. Oh, this is a bit of a shit

01:16:10.640 --> 01:16:15.060
show. Sorry about your chapter. Was it like the

01:16:15.060 --> 01:16:19.720
most unfortunate series of like horrid tech issues

01:16:19.720 --> 01:16:23.300
all cascading at the worst possible time? Missile

01:16:23.300 --> 01:16:25.880
fired wrong. Shields weren't up at the worst

01:16:25.880 --> 01:16:29.220
possible time. Perfectly hit like the ammo depot

01:16:29.220 --> 01:16:34.079
or something like that. It inverts, burrows into

01:16:34.079 --> 01:16:37.380
the depths. and then ignites all their ammunition

01:16:37.380 --> 01:16:39.960
stores. Here's a fun tidbit about the Crimson

01:16:39.960 --> 01:16:43.220
Fists. Did you know the Black Templars have the

01:16:43.220 --> 01:16:44.960
Emperor's Champion with their own panoplies?

01:16:45.260 --> 01:16:48.239
Crimson Fists had that. Don't have it anymore.

01:16:49.920 --> 01:16:53.760
Guess what was in the armory? I'm picturing the

01:16:53.760 --> 01:16:57.420
guy who's launching that missile. Have you watched

01:16:57.420 --> 01:17:01.199
Chernobyl? Oh, yes. Yeah. Great show. Do you

01:17:01.199 --> 01:17:02.960
know that scene where, like, the rods are bouncing

01:17:02.960 --> 01:17:05.039
up and down and it's the one guy, like, staring?

01:17:05.439 --> 01:17:08.699
Yeah. And then he, like, takes off running. I'm

01:17:08.699 --> 01:17:10.460
imagining that, like, he's watching the missile

01:17:10.460 --> 01:17:12.899
go deeper and deeper until he, like, runs, like,

01:17:12.960 --> 01:17:18.699
oh, shit. Just Akimov saying, like, there's nothing.

01:17:18.779 --> 01:17:21.359
You didn't see graphite on the ground on Rincewell.

01:17:21.500 --> 01:17:23.479
Just, like, because it didn't happen. Then he

01:17:23.479 --> 01:17:25.600
looks up and there's just, like, a big hole in

01:17:25.600 --> 01:17:27.779
the fortress monastery. Show us the root gins,

01:17:27.779 --> 01:17:33.699
Pedro. Yeah, so that was just all it was. Again,

01:17:33.840 --> 01:17:35.939
it was like, Valiant chapter, they are good.

01:17:36.399 --> 01:17:38.720
High Lords of Terror go, ooh, should send some

01:17:38.720 --> 01:17:42.039
chapters to help. Okay. Minotaurs, go and help.

01:17:42.420 --> 01:17:46.319
Yes, sir. DonkeyManUSA, thank you for the five.

01:17:46.460 --> 01:17:49.819
I will never forgive GW for killing off Parthusa

01:17:49.819 --> 01:17:53.239
Narek. I am so mad. I wanted him to rock up and

01:17:53.239 --> 01:17:58.659
kick the shiz out of Lorgar in 40k. Yeah. Era

01:17:58.659 --> 01:18:01.659
of Ruin came out a while back. Barfuza Narek

01:18:01.659 --> 01:18:03.880
was in Siege of Terror for like one paragraph

01:18:03.880 --> 01:18:05.720
where he's sniping. He's having a good time.

01:18:06.060 --> 01:18:09.100
And then just Erebus kills him. Oh, great. Classic.

01:18:09.180 --> 01:18:13.159
That it? Yeah. Erebus getting two for one at

01:18:13.159 --> 01:18:15.359
the Siege of Terror. First Loken, now Barfuza.

01:18:15.479 --> 01:18:18.439
Not there. Not there. That's why he's the goat.

01:18:19.359 --> 01:18:21.960
Thank you, Apostle. Thank you for the 14. Czar.

01:18:22.300 --> 01:18:25.859
In 40k, who is similar to... Black Adder and

01:18:25.859 --> 01:18:31.239
Baldrick. Yeah. Baldrick is literally Jürgen.

01:18:32.619 --> 01:18:34.979
Although it would be amusing hearing someone

01:18:34.979 --> 01:18:37.760
read out the audiobooks in Black Adder, Rowan

01:18:37.760 --> 01:18:40.100
Atkinson's voice like, Come Jürgen, we're off

01:18:40.100 --> 01:18:44.260
to kill some town. Okay, sir. Him and I'm gonna...

01:18:44.260 --> 01:18:50.260
I don't remember his name. Dr. House. Hugh Laurie.

01:18:50.479 --> 01:18:56.770
Hugh Laurie, thank you. Ah, is it Lupus? Colin

01:18:56.770 --> 01:18:58.630
wore a somewhat green hat last week. Thank you

01:18:58.630 --> 01:19:00.369
for the two. According to YouTube, I'm your top

01:19:00.369 --> 01:19:03.090
fan. Hooray, I guess. Thank you. Nice. Thank

01:19:03.090 --> 01:19:06.069
you. Thank you very much. On the scoreboard.

01:19:06.770 --> 01:19:08.770
Hardik, thank you for the five. Imperial fists

01:19:08.770 --> 01:19:12.109
suffer the rare genetic defect of Primarchus.

01:19:12.210 --> 01:19:15.890
More interesting -us where, surprisingly, it's

01:19:15.890 --> 01:19:17.609
far more interesting to learn about their dad.

01:19:17.869 --> 01:19:21.680
Yeah. Well, that's the curse of old. legions

01:19:21.680 --> 01:19:23.579
isn't it legions turn chapters it's like you

01:19:23.579 --> 01:19:25.760
got a primark i want to learn about him okay

01:19:25.760 --> 01:19:28.460
do you want to learn about cave on strike no

01:19:28.460 --> 01:19:33.260
okay demote him probably also why their successor

01:19:33.260 --> 01:19:35.460
chapters are allowed to have more flavor because

01:19:35.460 --> 01:19:38.399
they have they have the easiest way to get because

01:19:38.399 --> 01:19:40.840
like you know the the parent chapter that was

01:19:40.840 --> 01:19:43.819
the legion supposed to be like the the epitome

01:19:43.819 --> 01:19:46.979
right so the successor chapters are allowed to

01:19:46.979 --> 01:19:49.199
get away from that And it's the easiest to do

01:19:49.199 --> 01:19:51.500
with the fists because it's like, how do we make

01:19:51.500 --> 01:19:53.340
them get away from their parent chapter? They

01:19:53.340 --> 01:19:58.199
don't defend. It's a very simple narrative foil.

01:19:59.760 --> 01:20:02.239
The opposite. Glass Laughter, thank you for the

01:20:02.239 --> 01:20:05.100
five. Andy, please give me a good 40k books to

01:20:05.100 --> 01:20:07.600
read. No Horace Heresy. I beg you. Call and please

01:20:07.600 --> 01:20:10.920
read for dramatic effect. I'm sorry. Sorry. You

01:20:10.920 --> 01:20:16.260
should have put that one at the end. Andy! Give

01:20:16.260 --> 01:20:19.539
me good 40k books to read, please. I beg you.

01:20:19.619 --> 01:20:22.939
No horror series. I would say Watchers of the

01:20:22.939 --> 01:20:24.560
Throne is good. It's got some Imperial Fists

01:20:24.560 --> 01:20:27.100
in it. That's good. It's a two -parter, so it's

01:20:27.100 --> 01:20:28.899
not a trilogy. You'll get a good hefty amount

01:20:28.899 --> 01:20:34.420
from that. I really enjoyed Sons of the Hydra.

01:20:34.819 --> 01:20:37.279
That one snuck up on me. I read it as just like,

01:20:37.300 --> 01:20:39.399
oh, it's another book to research. I read that

01:20:39.399 --> 01:20:41.560
and I actually really enjoyed it because it was

01:20:41.560 --> 01:20:43.859
Alpha Legion being very sneaky. There were some

01:20:43.859 --> 01:20:46.140
great plot twists here and there. and it had

01:20:46.140 --> 01:20:49.300
it had a mentor chaos tech marine in it so i

01:20:49.300 --> 01:20:54.000
was like brilliant and um yeah so i enjoyed that

01:20:54.000 --> 01:20:55.720
one also there's a mentor death watch member

01:20:55.720 --> 01:20:57.680
in fist of the imperium and he's in one sentence

01:20:57.680 --> 01:21:01.659
i was like oh he's gone that's a shame the dank

01:21:01.659 --> 01:21:04.159
fossil thank you for the 14 czar best iron warrior

01:21:04.159 --> 01:21:10.460
book the siege of castelix also um the uh honsu

01:21:10.460 --> 01:21:13.159
omnibus is quite good i recently did a video

01:21:13.159 --> 01:21:16.880
on honsu And I listened to Storm of Iron, and

01:21:16.880 --> 01:21:18.680
then I got the omnibus to get the short stories

01:21:18.680 --> 01:21:21.779
read, because you can't get the audiobooks. And

01:21:21.779 --> 01:21:23.640
there was also, I found something weird from

01:21:23.640 --> 01:21:27.159
my buddy Zenon. Did you know that Honsu actually

01:21:27.159 --> 01:21:30.859
met Perturabo? And they had a game of, what's

01:21:30.859 --> 01:21:35.079
it called? Regicide. But here's the fun part.

01:21:35.880 --> 01:21:38.880
It's a short story that you can only get with

01:21:38.880 --> 01:21:41.779
the special edition re -release of Storm of Iron.

01:21:42.020 --> 01:21:45.220
And that's extremely expensive. And there's no

01:21:45.220 --> 01:21:48.659
other way to get a digital or audio copy. So

01:21:48.659 --> 01:21:55.079
have fun with that. Brilliant. Thanos. He's pretty

01:21:55.079 --> 01:21:57.840
much only Skarsnik, aka Skarsnik's top guy. Thank

01:21:57.840 --> 01:22:01.000
you for the 15. Writing lore for a TTRPG setting

01:22:01.000 --> 01:22:03.399
right now, but everything just turns into Warhammer

01:22:03.399 --> 01:22:05.939
Fantasy. Am I cooked? No, because Warhammer Fantasy

01:22:05.939 --> 01:22:10.000
is goaded. That's good. Yeah, no, that's good.

01:22:10.579 --> 01:22:12.840
Also turn it into Lord of the Rings. That's another

01:22:12.840 --> 01:22:16.859
good way. I need Eli. I was looking at Lord of

01:22:16.859 --> 01:22:21.819
the Rings minis last night. Mordor must rise.

01:22:22.060 --> 01:22:25.659
I must buy Sauron and the Ringwraiths. Very good!

01:22:26.859 --> 01:22:29.880
Perfect even. Also, speaking of Warhammer Fantasy,

01:22:30.039 --> 01:22:33.319
Colin, are you going to be buying the 180 -pound

01:22:33.319 --> 01:22:36.600
foam Galmoraz from Warhammer Armory? You know,

01:22:36.659 --> 01:22:40.439
I'm looking at it. Or $180. So it's cheaper.

01:22:40.539 --> 01:22:42.659
It's cheaper. It's $180. That's cheaper than

01:22:42.659 --> 01:22:48.760
pounds. Big hammer. Big hammer. But I'd love

01:22:48.760 --> 01:22:52.199
to get one. And I'd like to put, you know, like...

01:22:52.939 --> 01:22:55.479
get those hammers they make a squeaky noise and

01:22:55.479 --> 01:22:57.060
i'd like get that fitted so every time you get

01:22:57.060 --> 01:23:02.720
that'd be good fun um yeah i hope you got do

01:23:02.720 --> 01:23:05.239
you got any more closing thoughts on the imperial

01:23:05.239 --> 01:23:09.529
fists fellas or No, my closing thought was now

01:23:09.529 --> 01:23:11.210
that you brought up the Warhammer armory, but

01:23:11.210 --> 01:23:14.829
that's not related. That's why the clicking I'm

01:23:14.829 --> 01:23:17.229
just hearing in the background is open tab. It

01:23:17.229 --> 01:23:21.689
was, but then they saved it because their Reikland

01:23:21.689 --> 01:23:24.430
outfit is coming this summer, supposedly. So

01:23:24.430 --> 01:23:28.630
I would say they got fucking null piss on arrogant

01:23:28.630 --> 01:23:32.229
gunnery snobs. You can pre -order an extremely

01:23:32.229 --> 01:23:35.449
long flamberge and be like, hello, fellas. The

01:23:35.449 --> 01:23:38.430
funny. And there's armor on the way, apparently.

01:23:39.250 --> 01:23:41.029
Everyone's just holding out for the armor. Dude,

01:23:41.050 --> 01:23:46.850
they make the big man's armor himself, and moving's

01:23:46.850 --> 01:23:48.630
just gotta get put off for another few months,

01:23:48.729 --> 01:23:54.909
I mean. It's easy. We got two more donuts before

01:23:54.909 --> 01:23:56.770
we move to the end. Did you want to say what

01:23:56.770 --> 01:23:58.930
you thought about the Imperial Fist before we

01:23:58.930 --> 01:24:02.609
read the donuts? I think about them right now,

01:24:02.689 --> 01:24:08.100
I guess. Jesus. You know what? I like them. I

01:24:08.100 --> 01:24:10.140
like that they're just... Sure, they're not the

01:24:10.140 --> 01:24:12.220
most interesting, but they're steadfast, they're

01:24:12.220 --> 01:24:13.960
reliable. You send them in, they will get the

01:24:13.960 --> 01:24:17.619
job done. No complaints, no nothing. No nonsense.

01:24:17.939 --> 01:24:23.539
Not every... Fuck it, I'll quote Incredibles.

01:24:23.680 --> 01:24:26.020
When everyone's super, no one will be. When every

01:24:26.020 --> 01:24:29.439
Legion is... Look at our deep, tragic, gene -seed

01:24:29.439 --> 01:24:32.600
flaw in our past. It's like, alright, so you're

01:24:32.600 --> 01:24:36.130
not interesting. It's you and then everyone around

01:24:36.130 --> 01:24:41.649
you. Someone needs to be the default to actually

01:24:41.649 --> 01:24:45.689
make everything else interesting. Space Marines

01:24:45.689 --> 01:24:49.390
in general, after you read enough books, they're

01:24:49.390 --> 01:24:54.409
not. It gets harder and harder to read Space

01:24:54.409 --> 01:24:57.770
Marine books, especially in 40K. Horace Heresy,

01:24:57.770 --> 01:25:02.609
I can give a pass, I guess. They're so similar.

01:25:03.159 --> 01:25:06.260
They're such flat characters generally. They're

01:25:06.260 --> 01:25:08.640
just space marines doing space marine things.

01:25:08.960 --> 01:25:12.840
The entire cool thing about a space marine chapter

01:25:12.840 --> 01:25:15.319
is their paint scheme and their tactics. And

01:25:15.319 --> 01:25:17.680
it really rarely goes much deeper than that,

01:25:17.680 --> 01:25:21.140
unfortunately. I like reading space marine books.

01:25:21.140 --> 01:25:25.869
I know you do, Andy. You know. A couple more

01:25:25.869 --> 01:25:28.970
donors before question of the week. Colin wore

01:25:28.970 --> 01:25:31.289
a somewhat green hat last week. If you're all

01:25:31.289 --> 01:25:33.829
stuck in an arena and told inside one of you

01:25:33.829 --> 01:25:36.590
there's a new book of your favorite author hidden,

01:25:36.789 --> 01:25:42.470
who would gut who first? Wow. I don't think I'd

01:25:42.470 --> 01:25:47.909
kill people for a book. Yeah. I mean, to be fair,

01:25:47.989 --> 01:25:50.670
though, the trouble with that question is our

01:25:50.670 --> 01:25:53.380
favorite authors are... written books we enjoy

01:25:53.380 --> 01:25:56.619
so it's like uh i'm okay with the ones we got

01:25:56.619 --> 01:25:59.899
if it was like your favorite author gets to correct

01:25:59.899 --> 01:26:04.140
a certain faction like it might be killing call

01:26:04.140 --> 01:26:08.100
good towel i was gonna say now if one of you

01:26:08.100 --> 01:26:11.399
has like a a reach level halo game locked away

01:26:11.399 --> 01:26:14.899
inside of you i'm i'm the red mist is descending

01:26:14.899 --> 01:26:18.720
i'm sorry remember remember wow that'd be an

01:26:18.720 --> 01:26:23.449
interesting one You read it, Andy. I've got to

01:26:23.449 --> 01:26:26.189
do a question of the week after this. If you

01:26:26.189 --> 01:26:28.149
all had to serve a Chaos God, who would you pick?

01:26:28.270 --> 01:26:30.130
Who would you hate to serve the most? I wouldn't

01:26:30.130 --> 01:26:34.369
want to be a Nurgle demon. Smedley. Slaanesh.

01:26:35.789 --> 01:26:42.430
My order goes Slaanesh, then Khorne, then Nurgle

01:26:42.430 --> 01:26:44.229
and Zeach, depending on my mood, are fighting

01:26:44.229 --> 01:26:48.560
for last place. Nurgle, look, call me Fane. I

01:26:48.560 --> 01:26:50.300
don't want to look and smell like that. That

01:26:50.300 --> 01:26:55.579
displeases me. And Zinj, there's way too much

01:26:55.579 --> 01:26:58.239
going on, man. I know I'm not cut out for that.

01:26:58.460 --> 01:27:04.170
Yeah. I'd probably pick Khorne, then... Slaanesh,

01:27:04.170 --> 01:27:06.130
then Siege, then Nurgle. Because it's like, at

01:27:06.130 --> 01:27:07.250
least we call it, and I know I'll be content

01:27:07.250 --> 01:27:09.210
when I'm butchering people. And that's at least

01:27:09.210 --> 01:27:12.829
a reprieve. I don't have to smell bad. I don't

01:27:12.829 --> 01:27:14.970
have to do any stuff I don't want to do, if you

01:27:14.970 --> 01:27:17.250
know what I mean, with Slaanesh. And I don't

01:27:17.250 --> 01:27:19.550
also have to be, like, working for Siege. It's

01:27:19.550 --> 01:27:21.590
like having that boss who can never make his

01:27:21.590 --> 01:27:23.409
mind up on a project. He's always messing with

01:27:23.409 --> 01:27:25.649
his employees. Like, go away. You're just annoying

01:27:25.649 --> 01:27:28.829
me. I don't like that. Also, like, all of the,

01:27:28.829 --> 01:27:31.890
like, you know, all chaos gods, even Nurgle,

01:27:31.930 --> 01:27:33.770
the quote -unquote bitch. happy family. They're

01:27:33.770 --> 01:27:38.329
all incredibly treacherous and backstabby. Corn's

01:27:38.329 --> 01:27:40.649
the best one, I think. Apart from Corn. Corn

01:27:40.649 --> 01:27:42.130
will just tell you at the end, I'm going to kill

01:27:42.130 --> 01:27:44.270
you on this day. They're still going to be infighting,

01:27:44.289 --> 01:27:47.109
but it's at least going to be like, hey, I'm

01:27:47.109 --> 01:27:49.659
going to kill you now. unless you're Karn the

01:27:49.659 --> 01:27:51.699
Betrayer and then he just kind of swings at random

01:27:51.699 --> 01:27:54.100
but you know you're getting even with him you

01:27:54.100 --> 01:27:55.680
know what you're getting into when someone called

01:27:55.680 --> 01:27:57.979
Karn the Betrayer is standing next to you in

01:27:57.979 --> 01:28:01.359
the panel but Karn gets the buff where it's like

01:28:01.359 --> 01:28:02.920
ranged weapons don't work on you he's like you're

01:28:02.920 --> 01:28:05.859
my best boy here's a special power like wow thanks

01:28:05.859 --> 01:28:10.680
dad amazing with Zeech like it's the only chaos

01:28:10.680 --> 01:28:14.319
god where the treachery like isn't even serving

01:28:14.319 --> 01:28:17.800
anything. It just happens. Like, at least even

01:28:17.800 --> 01:28:19.800
with, like, Slaanesh, it at least hits the bare

01:28:19.800 --> 01:28:23.319
minimum bar of, I felt like it. Zinj doesn't

01:28:23.319 --> 01:28:25.520
even have that. There's 50 different layers of

01:28:25.520 --> 01:28:28.439
plans. None of them work together. All of them

01:28:28.439 --> 01:28:31.920
pile up at the end. And then a Thousand Sun Sorcerer

01:28:31.920 --> 01:28:35.420
goes, just as planned. And I'm like, you should

01:28:35.420 --> 01:28:38.810
die. Or a specific Thousand Suns source in a

01:28:38.810 --> 01:28:40.350
recent book goes, don't worry about the last

01:28:40.350 --> 01:28:43.310
book. I've retconned it in my own series. Oh,

01:28:43.409 --> 01:28:46.550
thanks. You did a Mario 2 on me. How dare you?

01:28:46.609 --> 01:28:53.810
It was all a dream. Yeah. Seems bad. Colin, who

01:28:53.810 --> 01:28:56.050
would be the 40k version of Fanquill from the

01:28:56.050 --> 01:28:59.989
dark? That's a... I don't know if there's anyone

01:28:59.989 --> 01:29:04.029
quite like Fanquill in 40k. That's a... It's

01:29:04.029 --> 01:29:07.380
not enough goofy characters in 40k. Armand's

01:29:07.380 --> 01:29:11.779
probably the closest, right? That is... I don't

01:29:11.779 --> 01:29:13.859
know who that compares that is more offensive

01:29:13.859 --> 01:29:18.579
towards. I mean, it's not a perfect match. What

01:29:18.579 --> 01:29:21.359
about Critman? I've got an idea. Why don't we

01:29:21.359 --> 01:29:23.479
just put the Orcs and the Tyranids in one system

01:29:23.479 --> 01:29:25.720
and we'll see who wins. Oh, that was a bad idea.

01:29:25.880 --> 01:29:29.460
Whoops. I want to say Critman, but it's like...

01:29:29.960 --> 01:29:34.039
He's not tripping up higher in the hierarchy,

01:29:34.420 --> 01:29:37.279
right? He achieves things. He achieves things,

01:29:37.520 --> 01:29:42.000
but he's technically not an Inquisitor. Not at

01:29:42.000 --> 01:29:44.260
all. They kicked him out. It doesn't mean anything

01:29:44.260 --> 01:29:50.500
because 40K is 40K. Anyone who is delivering

01:29:50.500 --> 01:29:53.779
the news has to wait 10 bajillion years for the

01:29:53.779 --> 01:29:56.659
paperwork to be sorted and the choir to stop

01:29:56.659 --> 01:29:59.949
screaming. So functionally, he's still an Inquisitor.

01:29:59.970 --> 01:30:06.149
It doesn't matter. Thankful, meanwhile, he doesn't

01:30:06.149 --> 01:30:12.630
win. But he keeps tripping upwards. He befalikim

01:30:12.630 --> 01:30:16.789
malikim foros from the Lamentis chapter. He drowns

01:30:16.789 --> 01:30:18.909
Skavenblight, and I don't think it did anything

01:30:18.909 --> 01:30:25.800
to him. And our last one here. Colin from Benadryl.

01:30:25.819 --> 01:30:29.279
For every day you delay the fan call video is

01:30:29.279 --> 01:30:31.539
a day that I will break into your house and sneak

01:30:31.539 --> 01:30:34.000
in two rats inside your closet. Well, I have

01:30:34.000 --> 01:30:37.039
bad news for you. Rats are social little animals,

01:30:37.239 --> 01:30:39.039
and they are much friendlier than the Skaven

01:30:39.039 --> 01:30:41.279
are. So you know what? I will have little rat

01:30:41.279 --> 01:30:44.479
buddies. You can make them laugh with a toothbrush.

01:30:44.880 --> 01:30:49.619
Yeah. You should also sneak in at least one hamster.

01:30:50.260 --> 01:30:52.640
because I want to see how mine would kick the

01:30:52.640 --> 01:30:57.020
bucket, because it's never in a normal way. Alright.

01:30:57.840 --> 01:30:59.859
Also, Eli, we've got question of the week. What

01:30:59.859 --> 01:31:02.300
was the last question of the week? I believe

01:31:02.300 --> 01:31:04.880
it was something along the lines of Oh my god,

01:31:05.060 --> 01:31:08.960
sleepy. Who would be your ever chosen? If you

01:31:08.960 --> 01:31:11.520
could insert any character. So I've got a few

01:31:11.520 --> 01:31:15.479
here. First one from Imperial Saint Von Carstein.

01:31:15.760 --> 01:31:18.149
Hashtag ever chosen. By the most honored role

01:31:18.149 --> 01:31:20.369
of every chosen, I have picked Plankton and make

01:31:20.369 --> 01:31:23.869
Mr. Krabs as the emperor. And all potential quests

01:31:23.869 --> 01:31:26.350
to destroy the world would inevitably fail with

01:31:26.350 --> 01:31:28.689
Plankton ranting about the secret formula of

01:31:28.689 --> 01:31:33.470
war pricks. That's a good answer. Nice. Breris

01:31:33.470 --> 01:31:39.390
Pepe, 3815. Caliborn. Caliborn. I don't know

01:31:39.390 --> 01:31:42.130
how to say it. I'm sorry. This is slash Lord

01:31:42.130 --> 01:31:44.470
English and in brackets, another reference for

01:31:44.470 --> 01:31:50.239
Colin to explain. Can you explain? Give me a

01:31:50.239 --> 01:31:51.979
minute. I'm going to look up Lord English and

01:31:51.979 --> 01:31:59.020
see if... I don't know anything about Homestuck.

01:32:00.220 --> 01:32:08.300
Sorry, Raris Pepe. I'm sorry. You admit to liking

01:32:08.300 --> 01:32:11.579
Undertale, and everyone assumes... You like every

01:32:11.579 --> 01:32:15.979
whatever slop internet Tumblr fandom there is.

01:32:16.720 --> 01:32:20.840
I like the funny game with the skeleton. I don't

01:32:20.840 --> 01:32:23.260
like all the internet crap that came out before

01:32:23.260 --> 01:32:28.579
it. That's pretty real. Alright, sorry. Mike

01:32:28.579 --> 01:32:33.500
loves Magnus Must Glaze Andy. A schizo comment

01:32:33.500 --> 01:32:36.060
probably. Thank you, Mike. I think the perfect

01:32:36.060 --> 01:32:38.500
ever chosen would be Hal. And no, this does not

01:32:38.500 --> 01:32:40.949
break the rules because... Is real life not a

01:32:40.949 --> 01:32:44.090
setting? I suppose. And Hal would be the perfect

01:32:44.090 --> 01:32:47.590
ever chosen. He has the slam poetry in Smith

01:32:47.590 --> 01:32:50.789
Riz to inspire loyalty in his men. He has a strength

01:32:50.789 --> 01:32:53.930
to say something so out of pocket he could stun

01:32:53.930 --> 01:32:57.189
any and all enemies and then stab them with a

01:32:57.189 --> 01:32:59.850
poop knife or hit them with his slam poetry scroll.

01:33:00.170 --> 01:33:02.930
And I've seen Hal skip across towns in the blink

01:33:02.930 --> 01:33:06.189
of an eye like an adult toddler. just so he can

01:33:06.189 --> 01:33:09.350
get his package of classist books meth and a

01:33:09.350 --> 01:33:12.390
bottle of hand lotion with all that i reckon

01:33:12.390 --> 01:33:16.229
he'd be a great ever chosen uh mandatory bretonia

01:33:16.229 --> 01:33:19.149
reference thank you mike all in will wear a green

01:33:19.149 --> 01:33:33.470
hat Now he has. Thank you. I would choose Colin

01:33:33.470 --> 01:33:35.710
and see how long he makes in a fantasy setting

01:33:35.710 --> 01:33:39.569
without an insulin pump. All right. Now, again,

01:33:39.869 --> 01:33:42.170
like this is joked with friends before. It's

01:33:42.170 --> 01:33:45.329
like. You ever get bored and like just make like

01:33:45.329 --> 01:33:48.189
a zombie survival plan? Because I'm going to

01:33:48.189 --> 01:33:50.289
be honest, I would when I was at my working at

01:33:50.289 --> 01:33:53.170
the church as a janitor. You can only clean the

01:33:53.170 --> 01:33:55.789
pews so many times. It's not helping. I had to

01:33:55.789 --> 01:34:00.409
do something to keep myself not insane. My zombie

01:34:00.409 --> 01:34:03.829
survival plan is find a nice little house, gather

01:34:03.829 --> 01:34:05.609
all the insulin I can, and when it runs out,

01:34:05.649 --> 01:34:10.130
blow my head smooth off. Because I can tell you

01:34:10.130 --> 01:34:12.430
exactly how long it'll take me to start feeling

01:34:12.430 --> 01:34:15.029
adverse effects from insulin. About eight hours.

01:34:16.710 --> 01:34:19.729
And probably die a very unpleasant death. Yeah,

01:34:19.729 --> 01:34:22.630
it would be about three days to a week of a slow,

01:34:22.689 --> 01:34:25.569
agonizing death of constant vomit and sickness.

01:34:27.630 --> 01:34:31.170
And zombies. Not making a hell of a thing. Also,

01:34:31.329 --> 01:34:33.909
if they're runners, like, look, if it's the Walking

01:34:33.909 --> 01:34:36.850
Dead, I get the whole plan. If I see a dying,

01:34:36.850 --> 01:34:39.369
like, volatile run past my window, I'm out. I'm

01:34:39.369 --> 01:34:42.029
tapping out. The minute you see that bit where

01:34:42.029 --> 01:34:44.810
they learn how to climb and hold rocks ten seasons

01:34:44.810 --> 01:34:47.829
in, then you go, oh, no. And that's fine because

01:34:47.829 --> 01:34:50.109
they're still slow, but if it's like 28 days,

01:34:50.189 --> 01:34:54.510
no thank you. He was left for dead. Fellas jumping

01:34:54.510 --> 01:34:57.310
off rooftops. Oh, no. Is that a witch? I'm out.

01:34:57.569 --> 01:35:01.569
I'm out. Oh, no. All right. We got Witch Lich.

01:35:01.649 --> 01:35:04.430
Speaking of which, imagine if Emperor Palpatine

01:35:04.430 --> 01:35:06.229
was ever chosen. He's already one of the most

01:35:06.229 --> 01:35:08.869
powerful force users in the galaxy. I can only

01:35:08.869 --> 01:35:11.010
imagine where he'd go with the blessings of all

01:35:11.010 --> 01:35:13.909
four Chaos Gods. If he was ever chosen, Chaos

01:35:13.909 --> 01:35:16.270
wouldn't even have to invade the Empire because

01:35:16.270 --> 01:35:18.109
he'd just weasel his way into the highest position

01:35:18.109 --> 01:35:20.510
of power and start a Cold War fantasy edition.

01:35:20.909 --> 01:35:29.970
Yeah, I like it. Do it. And lastly, justice for

01:35:29.970 --> 01:35:34.350
Grievous pro waffle. I choose Megatron, but the

01:35:34.350 --> 01:35:37.909
G1 Megatron to be the 40 K mustache or maybe

01:35:37.909 --> 01:35:39.989
team rocket. You're going in for those answers.

01:35:40.149 --> 01:35:48.329
Thank you. I have, sorry. Every chaos Lord would

01:35:48.329 --> 01:35:50.850
only be improved by having a star screen right

01:35:50.850 --> 01:35:52.939
below them. It's so weird. I don't just mean

01:35:52.939 --> 01:35:56.220
a treacherous underling. I mean, it is clearly

01:35:56.220 --> 01:36:04.020
just Starscream. I have a mandatory, very unfunny

01:36:04.020 --> 01:36:07.560
and puerile new question of the week. The new

01:36:07.560 --> 01:36:12.000
question of the week is hashtag fisted. Who in

01:36:12.000 --> 01:36:15.479
the setting, fancy or 40k, deserves a fisting?

01:36:15.920 --> 01:36:18.520
I will leave it up to your interpretation as

01:36:18.520 --> 01:36:22.399
to what that means. This will not get past Hal.

01:36:22.619 --> 01:36:26.479
Hal would have vetoed this, by the way. Free

01:36:26.479 --> 01:36:31.600
reign, brothers. Bonus points if you don't just

01:36:31.600 --> 01:36:35.020
say Manfrig or Erebus. Yeah, very real. Because

01:36:35.020 --> 01:36:36.619
everyone's going to say Erebus. Those are not

01:36:36.619 --> 01:36:38.720
incorrect answers. No one's going to disagree.

01:36:39.039 --> 01:36:42.239
But, you know, sometimes you got to bring new

01:36:42.239 --> 01:36:46.140
life into it. You got to pick new targets for

01:36:46.140 --> 01:36:50.430
new memes to blossom. um but yeah that was the

01:36:50.430 --> 01:36:53.210
imperialist it was your vote sorry my vote is

01:36:53.210 --> 01:36:58.829
uh i think uh i think fabius bile could just

01:36:58.829 --> 01:37:02.149
like just use a good like deck in the jaw he

01:37:02.149 --> 01:37:05.029
deserves it like he both deserves it and i think

01:37:05.029 --> 01:37:07.590
you know it'll knock some sense to him not intelligence

01:37:07.590 --> 01:37:09.750
i'm not saying he's he's quite smart obviously

01:37:09.750 --> 01:37:13.510
but like you ever meet someone who's like book

01:37:13.510 --> 01:37:16.210
smart They're a genius, but if you left them

01:37:16.210 --> 01:37:18.149
on the corner of a street, they would probably

01:37:18.149 --> 01:37:21.970
just die. I feel like he's the version of that.

01:37:23.529 --> 01:37:26.989
Only thing is, he has multiple clones of himself.

01:37:28.329 --> 01:37:30.310
Fabius, the kind of guy who would go, well, that

01:37:30.310 --> 01:37:32.750
sucks for that clone of me, but I'm still alive,

01:37:32.829 --> 01:37:34.850
and I'm the real clone. And then all the other

01:37:34.850 --> 01:37:37.130
clones are like, no, I'm the real clone. He's

01:37:37.130 --> 01:37:39.340
that guy. He'll get away with murder. He's gotten

01:37:39.340 --> 01:37:40.979
away with murder. He's gotten away with worse.

01:37:41.520 --> 01:37:47.939
He's dreadful. God damn it. This is why he needs

01:37:47.939 --> 01:37:51.100
to be punched in the face. He needs to fist them

01:37:51.100 --> 01:37:53.600
simultaneously. He's not going to learn unless

01:37:53.600 --> 01:37:56.579
every single one of these clones just get Karn.

01:37:58.779 --> 01:38:01.460
Bro, in the Rathun book, he gets chucked off

01:38:01.460 --> 01:38:03.760
of a massive tower and gets eaten by Tyranids.

01:38:03.760 --> 01:38:08.520
He's been torturing the... the uh the the one

01:38:08.520 --> 01:38:10.939
with the big brain in his like tower and then

01:38:10.939 --> 01:38:14.520
the the rafa and his mates who he frees they

01:38:14.520 --> 01:38:17.039
just like oh oh no it's it's in pain and it's

01:38:17.039 --> 01:38:21.329
playing end me so they end it and then his harebrained

01:38:21.329 --> 01:38:23.250
scheme to be like if i keep it imprisoned in

01:38:23.250 --> 01:38:25.470
my tower the tyrannists will protect me from

01:38:25.470 --> 01:38:27.329
invaders because they won't attack the tower

01:38:27.329 --> 01:38:28.909
they'll just eat everything outside and each

01:38:28.909 --> 01:38:31.010
other and then it's like an off switch and then

01:38:31.010 --> 01:38:32.550
they start going up the tower and then ralph

01:38:32.550 --> 01:38:34.609
and chucks him over the edge and he gets eaten

01:38:34.609 --> 01:38:36.829
and then it like at the end of the book it's

01:38:36.829 --> 01:38:39.090
like and then fabius was somewhere else and didn't

01:38:39.090 --> 01:38:43.699
give a shit wow This is going to be an angry...

01:38:43.699 --> 01:38:46.079
Big E could probably have also used one or two

01:38:46.079 --> 01:38:48.380
smacks upside the head for some of his ideas.

01:38:48.680 --> 01:38:51.239
The problem is there was no one in the galaxy

01:38:51.239 --> 01:38:57.359
strong enough to do it. Yeah. Oh, and one last

01:38:57.359 --> 01:39:01.619
donation from Bean. Archeon has fallen! That

01:39:01.619 --> 01:39:07.239
makes me the new Everchosen! Glorious. Amazing.

01:39:07.600 --> 01:39:09.880
Yeah, that was the Imperial Fist. Hope you...

01:39:10.680 --> 01:39:13.720
Hope you all enjoyed it. Not sure what we're

01:39:13.720 --> 01:39:15.220
going to talk about next, but we will be away

01:39:15.220 --> 01:39:17.399
next week because me and Colin are away, but

01:39:17.399 --> 01:39:19.579
we have got something lined up, so don't fret.

01:39:19.939 --> 01:39:22.520
There is an episode next week, and I think you

01:39:22.520 --> 01:39:27.220
guys will enjoy it. Maybe a gaming stream if

01:39:27.220 --> 01:39:31.659
you want. Up to you. We can't stop you. I can't.

01:39:31.659 --> 01:39:34.239
No, I'll be away. But either way, thank you all

01:39:34.239 --> 01:39:35.819
for joining us tonight. Thank you very much.

01:39:36.180 --> 01:39:39.220
And have a good one. Bye, everybody. Bye. Love

01:39:39.220 --> 01:39:39.380
you.