Hello, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.
It's Law Crimes. Hello! We play Warhammer. We've
got an interesting episode today. It's been a
while since we've done a lore dump for you all.
And today we're talking about something where
I think it's fair to say not many people are
very well apprised of it. It's one of those things
that's got a lot of lore, but I guess maybe it's
just like, is it kind of new -ish, the Taros
campaign? Nah, this is old school. This is old
school, fool. Because it's Tau, but like... This
is what I mean, though. How do you approach it?
Tau were new 15 years ago, my friend. It's probably
close to 20 years now, isn't it? I think it might
be over 20. Yeah, probably is, because they came
out in 3rd edition, I think. Some of our listeners
are younger than Tau, by the way. But we're talking
about the Tauros campaign. Eli, you're helming
this episode. Could you give us a brief, what
is the Tauros campaign? What am it? It's the
campaign that saw the Imperial Guard and Space
Marines fighting the Tau on the planet of Tauros.
That's pretty much all you gotta know for now.
Although I suppose mainly Guardsmen. It's mainly
Guardsmen, yes. The Space Marines fight like
twice, maybe three. Four times technically, but
there's two different chapters that fight. Yeah,
it's like one chapter and a couple of companies
of the other one. We'll give it a bash. Oh, these
blue fellas are a bit tricky. Oh, bang, bang,
bang. They're there. They are there. Everyone
loves Raptors. Give us your opinion in the chat,
though, how you feel about Tau. We need to know.
They're cool, and they're good, and they're a
good part of the setting, and fuck you, people
who don't like the Tau. And for people who love
the Tau... You'll be happy to know that I've
recorded a bunch of Space Marine 2 footage of
a rat. Because there's no Tau game other than
Fire Warrior. I would have played Dawn of War.
Fire Warrior is ass. I gotta play that game.
Don't. You really don't. I desire it. Also, just
before we start, it is the eponymous day, Colin.
Colin will wear a green hat this week. You better
put on a green hat. There better be a picture
with a green hat at the very least. Or a fourth
pregnant is going to hit the Discord. Don't test
me. I already paid the artist. Crazy. I might
have forgotten the hat. Oh, no. Get one real
quick, pal. Is there a substitute? Change it
for next week. We might be able to come up with
something. Okay. Well, we will see. Place your
bets in the chat on who you think is going to
win, the Imperium or the Tau. We already know.
Look at this guy. Raptors are strong. Look at
that. He should win. Look at that. I watch the
10 FPS gameplay every time. For everyone who's
listening in, as always, get your snacks, drinks,
your terrible ammunition to make fun of our forehead
game. We're already locked in. Eli's about to
guide us through. Would you say this is... How
would you rate this campaign against other lore
pieces? I know infamously many Imperium codexes
or campaign or crusade books are like, and then
the Space Marines battled, and then somebody
won. it's decent it's cool i won't i'll be sparing
people of all the deeper uh descriptions and
things otherwise you'd be here for four hours
although uh colin did you want to mention what
you mentioned to us before the stream about um
oh the damocles crusade and whenever the tao
fights the imperium oh i was just saying that
it brings forth the most insufferable people
the 40k fan base You say the words Damocles Crusade
and 30 different people will inform you that
actually the Tau won. They'll be like, well,
the Tau destroyed half the Imperium. No, the
Imperium won. There's still a Tau Empire. No,
they didn't. It was a complete waste of time.
Whenever the Tau win anything, the Imperium haters
are... are on route immediately literally seething
frothing at the mouths complaining about plot
armor probably the most uh low iq community on
the planet he played the imperium i like the
imperium to be fair though the damnos crusade
involves the white scars so clearly they should
have won but still that's all i'll say well there's
two all right boys Let's get locked in. Guys,
we're here to deliver lore. This is lore you
probably can't really get anywhere else, so everyone
be prepared. Unless you look up the PDF and read
through the entire 100 -page thing by yourself,
but yes. That's why they're here. Before we start,
shall we read these pre -streamed donations so
that I don't have to pause shortly in? So, first
one from DonkeyManUSA, streamed late due to HALO,
straight up cruting it, and I mean, uh, he's
peanuts, wow. Thank you, DonkeyMan, you're real
for that. This is, wow, I mean, wow. Uh, why
do I have multiple chairs if I'm never gonna
have company? Because it was a fucking dining
set. Thank you for the five dollars. And the
original plan was I'd play... I'd play D &D on
that table, but then I bought more minis and
more minis and then a couple more. Jesus Christ.
Don't go on USA, five bucks. The unhinged HAL
supercut is pushing 40 minutes. Pray for my laptop
machine spirit. Sorry. What's worse is like I
said unhinged stuff or someone spent time compiling
it. What is worse? So I see what is gripper thing
with $2. Hat, XOXO, feel the vibes, Colin. They
are wet. What a time for your missus to walk
in. My word. What's going on? What's he talking
about? If you want to see, they can see your
arm. There you go. Nice. Nuts. Nuts donated.
I miss my dad, said Andy. Joke. Hal, I'm overstimulated.
Eli, I'm farting on my roommate's door. Colin,
I'll be Dexcom noises. These are all things that
Hal would say. They are. We spent an entire year
with Hal saying farting on my roommate's door.
Man, I don't like this one. I'm not ready to
get as mean. Colin's hairline is so receded.
It's a backwards beard. I neither like the fact
you said that nor the fact that you aren't wrong.
The hairline is technically just, you know, it's
the same way. It's just, you know. It's crazy
that Colin and Eli are both younger than us as
well, Andy. We're really trying to stay our age.
We'll grow a beard. Grow a big lumberjack beard.
Also car chucks. Thank you. That's sus for 10.
Well, the tower is about to be very sus as a
mogus, and I believe we should get into it. So,
our story of Taros. Colin's gone already. The
story of Taros. The green hat. He's going to
get a hat. Not on Taros Excel, but with the Administratum.
These were during the evil and bleak days leading
up to Abaddon's 13th Black Crusade. They were
preparing for it. getting the resources allocated,
moving the troops, mobilizing everything. And
of course, this requires a very large amount
of logistics, and there's a lot of issues that
they have to work through. One of these issues
was getting more resources for a Forge World
called Stygies VIII. This would be quite pivotal
in getting the defenses prepared and provided
for for Abaddon's Black Crusade. This is the
13th one. I'm pretty sure this is before it got
retconned, so he loses this one in theory. But
he actually wins now. Maybe we can give the Tau
some credit for Abaddon's win. I'm not going
to lie. But anyways, close to Stygies VIII was
a planet called Taros, the Desert World of Taros.
There's one city upon Taros called Tarokin. Other
than that, it's just mines across the planet,
but mostly situated around this one city. It
mines three particular resources, the names of
which I don't remember. But if you watch my video
in the future, they'll be there. And so, yeah,
they called upon Taros. They delivered Auditor
Prime, Mr. Dree, to give a new tithe to the planetary
governor, who was named Aulis. They used an audit
from the 38th millennium to decide how much resources
that Taros could get, which I think is kind of
cool. So Dree goes to the planet. He gives it
to the planetary governor. He says, cool and
good, everything's good. But he also inspects
the mines and the situation on the planet. And
he finds that all of these mines are suspiciously
missing their resources. They've been completely
mined out. The ore seam is gone. There's just
nothing there, which is very odd because the
audit never said anything about extracting resources
at such a high rate. And when he looked into
where these resources were going, They just seemingly
vanished into thin air. The tithes to Styges
8 were being met, but the rest of these resources
were being shipped off -planet to who knows where,
and it was completely unsure. He looked for productivity
reports from the mines. Some of them gave it
to him, some of them didn't. But he had a good
idea of how much they were supposed to be producing,
and had an estimate on how much they were actually
producing, and they were grossly overproducing.
Now, there wasn't much more he could do about
it at the time. He was just filing a report,
doing his investigations. On the outside, everything
seemed fine with the elites and the governor,
but all of a sudden, in the shadows, they're
not feeling so fine. They're getting together.
They're conspiratoring. That's not the right
word, but they're conspiring together on how
to fix this situation because there is a reason
that the resources are being... bled away and
they most certainly do not want auditor prime
dree to figure out why they are being taken away
uh some of them suggested they should just kill
the munitorum team uh but this is a terrible
idea because then they'll you know enact vengeance
upon taros so they scrap that for now they just
stall and they plead ignorance onto who knows
where these resources are going Unbeknownst to
the Imperium, 20 years before that, the Tau Empire
had sent delegates to Tauros. Now, they don't
own Tauros, but their borders were reaching closer,
still a little bit far away, so it wasn't really
a place for military conquest, but sometimes
the Tau don't need military to get their own
planets. So they send watercast delegates. They
bribed the elites and the planetary governor
with luxury goods and water processing units
and other such wealth. The planetary governor,
Aulis, for a while, resisted but eventually gave
in the elites gave in right away so for 20 years
since then they have been shipping resources
to the tao at first it started as small little
exchanges uh and they were like insured like
it's not going to be very much it's not a big
deal and of course slowly as the benefits increased
so did the shipments of war No, never. Not even
an inch for Xenos. Before you know it, they're
giving you waterbeds and, you know, silk stuff,
and they're giving you an Xbox or two so that
you can send them mining stuff. Ah, it's heresy.
Don't consort with Xenos, everyone. Your quality
of life in the Imperium might vastly improve
if you do. You get three square meals of corpse
starch a day, you're fine. It's good for the
bones. The gristle is good for you. This reminds
me of the, in the first Kyphers Cain book, when
they have the Tau like slowly influencing the
moon of like Gravelax, like all the buildings
start. Like when Cain lands, he's like, isn't
that really weird? The buildings are round. He's
like, that's really weird. I don't like that.
And then like the Tau sympathizers in quote unquote,
and they have like, literally they are people
in blue face. I just love that. They're like,
the tower amazing. So they decide to paint themselves
only on the face blue. What did Games Workshop
mean by this? I just like the idea that the humans
are like, oh, the buildings aren't spiky enough.
And then the Drukhari are like, you call that
spiky? Look at that. Oh, no. Mike in the chats,
I have a creator. Warcrimes just hit 22k subs.
That's cool. Thank you, Wes. On a desert planet
where water is scarce, resources are thin, as
in resources that you can actually use, not just
ore, naturally, it won't be that hard to fall
for it when they're giving you fresh water and
food and jewels and riches beyond your imagining.
It reminds me of I'm mentioning Star Wars. Go
ahead and call all the slop you want. Call me
whatever. But it's like Bill Burr's character
in The Mandalorian. It's like, yeah, your creed's
only so great until your life's on the line.
Then it's, oh, you're willing to throw it away.
It's like that. It's like, oh, yeah, praise the
emperor until I don't have water. It's like people
like democracy until they're hungry. Yeah. This,
of course, is a... A great breaching of the Pax
Imperialis, though, and while Dre's investigation
has not been able to prove anything, he knows
something is going on. Meanwhile, Aulis is trying
to find a way to discredit Dre's report. Light
years away, though, the answer will be found,
as Captain Duralian, upon the dauntless light
cruiser Lord Ravenor, had been on patrol with
his squadron for several months. They were just
about to leave, and mind you, they're near the
Damocles Gulf. They were just about to leave
when they spotted a few unidentified frigates,
spaceships, whatever. And so the Solar Class
Frigate VCS -6 of Skadron Squadron reported the
contact and investigated further. They would
find a few Imperial ships on their way to a Tau
Wei station. Then they would see the Tau waystation
and the ships meeting up with an emissary ship
from the Tau. So they went back for a little
bit, planned an attack, and then went out. Their
objective was to destroy the waystation and capture
the ships and investigate whatever they could.
First went really good, then the Tau showed up
with more ships, so they pulled back again, because
Duralian's a smart guy. Then they counterattacked
the Tau, and in a very nice close -range space
battle, they succeeded. Most of the Imperial
ships got away, but one was... wounded so they
were able to board the way station and that ship
and the msa ship nothing was found on the way
station or the msa ship but they did capture
the crew on the imperial ship who would reveal
to them that they were delivering some ore from
taros they were just following orders they didn't
know why they were meeting up with the tau and
they really had no idea what was going on orders
from who was unsure but they would send these
fellows to the inquisition and they would certainly
find out for them. So yeah. This is obviously
sketchy. Just following orders, said Eli. The
classic defense of someone who knows they did
great wrong. Captain Thralian would be awarded
the Order of the Knights of Damocles and was
promoted to the Captain of the Cruiser Hammer
of Thrace for his great deeds. He filled his
report. He didn't really know what was going
on, but he filled the report, and it would eventually
land all the way back on Dree's desk. And all
of a sudden, everything made sense. The three
ores that they were supposed to be transporting
were all on that ship. They were clearly giving
things to the Tau. This was very big news. Oh,
the ores are Magnes, Vanadium, and Rhenium. There
you go. There, you get to know. Exciting. He
understood this is a breaching of the Pax Imperialis.
He submitted his report and then just went back
to his regular duties for however long it took
the Imperium to get the report and work it out.
He was eventually summoned back to the Minas
Storm and would plea his case. Well, his allegations,
I suppose, and explain what was going on. The
council, whatever, saw it very fit that Atlas
be killed and replaced. and that a message be
sent to the tao so they called upon a space marine
chapter these space marines were the avenging
sons who would answer and they would send the
second company a squad of veterans from the first
company and scouts from the 10th company they
mustered them for war set off on their battle
cruiser strike cruiser what they're called uh
and went out for it on the way they found all
the location they could on taro king And they
made their plan. The plan was quite simple. First,
the location of the Planetary Governor's residence
needed to be confirmed, and the Planetary Governor
himself needed to be confirmed. Once they did
this, they would assault the Planetary Governor's
residence by drop pod and teleport strike. The
drop pods would first land, they would kill everybody
in the area, and then Captain Armros would place
a teleport beacon, the Terminators would go in,
kill owls and it'd be happy times they also put
space marines on the perimeter to form a cordon
around the city so that people couldn't leave
or come in the plan itself went very good uh
they showed up to kill everyone teleports came
in they killed all the nobles inside the building
everything was great but the planetary governor
was not there after they found dna samples or
they took dna samples of everyone from the apothecary
so the code word was given and the plan turned
into a search and destroy mission but while this
was going on one of the perimeter space marine
squads had spotted a new enemy and a tau manta
came over the horizon and quickly deployed a
hunter cadre that would unfortunately for the
space marines crush them pretty quickly they
were not expecting Facts from the Tau, there
was none in the system. They had detected zero
Tau, but here they were nonetheless. And they
kind of got wrecked. They took the tactical squads
from other perimeters. They got there. They held
as strong as they could, but they just couldn't
do it. It was too many Tau. They kind of just
got obliterated. That's that for them. So they
retreat back into the city, and the second day
of the siege goes a bit better for the Space
Marines. It's city fighting, so there's close
quarters. They fight back. push back the Tau
as the Tau have to clear buildings and fight
the Space Marines, which obviously is not great
for the Tau and is great for the Space Marines.
But regardless, it's still a desperate battle.
They're taking casualties. They have no idea
how much the Tau have. They're losing ammunition.
Their supplies are low. They have no air superiority.
Barracudas are coming in and airstriking them.
Bad stuff. Yeah. Isn't the Manta the gigantic
model you can get? It's $2 ,000. And 2 ,000 points.
I saw one of those in real life. I think it was
at PeachCon and I just looked at it and I was
like, that's a status symbol, that is. You've
got to be like, bonk. Takes up an entire table.
You're like, who's got the best army? It was
really well painted. What's the Warlord Titan
cost? No, as in, like, monies. Oh, over two grand.
Yeah. You don't even get all the parts, do you?
You have to, like, buy... No, you don't. And
it's probably hellish to build. It's also 3 ,500
points. I bought the head of a titan. That cost
me, like, 70 quid. That was fun. Although, if
I did the math somewhere, for the Tau Manta,
You can fit a lot of stuff into it. It's a whole
hunter cadre. I think I found it. The Tau Manta
is, in tabletop turns, 2100 points. You can fit
3480 points in it. Because it's not just like,
you can fit you know, a bunch of infantry or
some battle suits or some gunfish, you can fit
200 infantry, four gunships, and eight battle
suits into it. Not or, and. The whole 100. The
only thing I want to buy is that gigantic land
crawler thing from like really early editions.
It's like, is it the squat one? And I'm like,
I just want to use that as like a bread bin.
That'd be fun. That would be pretty funny. Yeah.
Alright, let's get back to it. So, yeah, they
do repel the Tau eventually as they've retreated
back to the city, but the next day, the Tau change
their tactics. Obviously, they're not going to
clear out space marines from buildings, so they
decide to just kill them all instead. They barracuda
strafe, blow things up, hammer heads, manta rail
guns, broadsides, just pound the buildings, absolutely
obliterating as much as they can. Space marines
hunker down. For what it's worth, a few of them,
many of them still survive, and they bravely
lead their defense against the insurmountable
odds. One of the brother dreadnoughts, his legs
is blowing off, and he falls to the ground. The
Tau break through, eventually pushing through
with two hammerheads. They're repelled for one
more day, but the Space Marines are really down.
They came with some, like, 100 dudes. They have
40 guys left, which is, like, massive losses
for Space Marines. So in the nighttime, well,
I guess during the daytime, Armaros does order
an airstrike. It helps a little bit, but it's
still not enough, and they don't have enough
air superiority to really make that much use
of their air power. The Tau own the planet, obviously.
They own Tarokin. There's nothing they can do.
So come nightfall, Armaros dedicates his... Now,
he only needs two Thunderhawks out of the original
five. He only needs two of them to deliver the
last of his battle brothers who are still alive.
They successfully evacuate. and have to go back
in shame and lick their wounds a bell would toll
at the chapter monastery for each battle brother
killed and it's a bad time for the space marines
so that's that's the first battle of taros the
entire victory quite quite a good towel victory
although again i like looking at like these the
source materials like It's also just called by
the Imperium, the incident. Don't call it a tower
victory, call it an incident. That's like Dictator
101. Don't let the enemy have any credit. Why
don't we read these two donations? Some of them
are still talking about my hair. BattleTech,
my beloved. Maybe one day. See, there it is.
I saw that one. Baseman from Sweden. Thank you
for the 65 sec. No, his hairline is being absorbed
into his beard. It is a glorious beard. Parker
Solomon for 19 bucks for the cancer support community.
The emperor protects. Thank you, brother. That
was on the other stream, but maybe we can...
it might still be open so i might be able to
just like donate to it from my account then that
might work it out i'll appreciate that brother
thank you so much shout out to my yeah shout
out to my four favorite warhammer boys the forgetful
guy the yellow daddy yellow And push -ups for
Jesus. Wow. It's a great alternative. No, I've
already got the second channel. Don't worry about
it. It's not ready yet. It's still cooking. Although
there was also a comment I saw that was pertaining
to Have you heard of a clinic called Forward
that got referred by my endo as a potential cure
treatment for type 1? Yeah, if you could send
me all of that information, please, that would
be wonderful, and I am not kidding. Dang. Was
it stem cells to reinvigorate the pancreas to
start producing insulin again? It was something
like that, yeah. Which, by God, if that's becoming
widely testing... I might be missing a few lore
crimes treatments, depending on how I get the,
or a few lore crime sessions, depending on how
I get this treatment. You can stream in the hospital.
It's fine. It'll be fine. This lore crime stream
featuring Colin's unconscious, ripped open body.
With the heart rate monitor, just go beep, beep,
beep in the corner. It's immersive. It's fine.
My younger brother also has a type 1 diabetic,
so there's a lot of interest going around, I
think, for this particular thing. The towel would
cure your diabetes. Just saying. Dude, I know
they would. That's why whoever gets me first,
the Mechanicus or the towel, they have my loyalty.
I'm sure either of them can do it. I'm sure they
can save you. I'm perfectly open either way.
Whoever I end up closest to is, you know. Isn't
it in Dawn of War Dark Crusade, when the Tau
win, they also make all the humans infertile?
Yeah. We'll treat you better than the Imperium,
but the Xenos are still on the bottom of the
totem pole. Come on, you're not a Tau. You're
filthy Xenos. Look. I'll be a second -class citizen
as opposed to a servitor, all right? I'm just
going to be honest. And don't forget, Colin,
there is also the Thomas McAbee treatment where
you could be a Necron pariah. That could help.
You won't have to worry about your pancreas anymore,
but then your soul... Yeah, see, I don't have
a tier list for organs, but I think the soul,
if you're including it, got to be at the top
of the list. Probably. I guess it depends on
who's feasting on it. If you have the right job,
your life can be pretty nice in the Tau Empire
as a human being. And even if you don't, it's
still probably better than I'd say like 65 %
of the Imperium. Tau healthcare CEOs are crazy.
you'll have yeah you'll have health care and
you'll have food and water you might be sterilized
and you'll have to work in work camps it depends
on how you come to the greater good though if
you're a prisoner of war you're going to get
treated not quite as nicely unless you become
a soldier for them and then they'll treat you
good so prisoner of the greater good yeah i've
heard that one before you will serve on the front
lines in the most dangerous places of the fight
but come on you know your life's not worth the
same amount as attack let's be let's be real
here We'll have more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shush
you, Gwela. My commanding officers aren't firing
into my back in the Tau, alright? Once again.
Alright. Anyways. The news of the Space Marine
defeat and the Tau forces on Taro swiftly reaches
the Administratum, and so they devise a new plan.
Taurus was declared ex -imperious, rebellious,
and the master of the administratum signed an
edict declaring the governor's over 100 crimes,
along with a declaration of a rebellious system.
The Taronian Declaration was put forth, and this
allowed new action to be taken. So the senior
adeptus administratum command staff was to be
appointed, and this was to be done by Lord High
Commander Otto Ivan Gustavus. Alongside him,
Commissar General Mordred Van Horkick was tasked
to be his soon -to -be right -hand man. Gustavus
would then go through the politicking, filling
out forms, going to meetings, dealing with all
that garbage to create his massive command staff,
which numbered over 3 ,000 people at the end
of the day and took a long time to get together.
Some important names. Venerated High Migos. Zadokine
Volta, representing Cytes VIII, Fleet Admiral
Koto, Commander of the Invasion Fleet, Lord Marshal
De Stael, Overall Commander of all Imperial Guard
Units, the newly titled Provisioner Prime, Nymus
Dree, guy from before, he was granted a place
due to his recognition of his efforts, Air Marshal
Denevelt, Staff Colonel Shaja, Deacon Grotz,
Curator Depth Skell, many more, yeah, 3 ,000
dudes and gals, And they had a big task ahead
of them. So their first task was to conduct as
much research as possible. So they spent six
months gathering research and pouring over literally
everything they could. 10 ,000 years worth of
data on Taurus. They were getting 1 ,000 -year
-old construction plans. They were getting journal
entries from randoms who visited the planet.
They were getting more audits. Everything, literally
everything they could find, no matter how small.
dree or sorry not dree uh what's his name scale
scale and his buddies got info from even holy
tara itself and they give it all back to gustavus
who know as much as he possibly could about taros
now he may as well have lived there for his entire
life uh yet they still haven't been there was
a spymaster who once worked with the Inquisition.
He was tasked with infiltrating Taros, but this
was unfortunately impossible. So then he was
instead tasked with the security of the command
staff. If any information was leaked, it could
be a huge deal. And if the Tau knew anything
of their attacks, it'd be very bad. So now the
research is done. They moved on to getting the
Imperial Guard forces. Destail and Gustavus would
debate for a while. Destail originally asked
for 20 regiments. This was turned down. He came
back with a more reasonable 12, which Gustavus
agreed to, but the ministratum disagreed to.
Finally, they agreed upon 10 regiments, as long
as Volta, the Stygian's eighth lady, was willing
to give four, well, was willing to give a legion
of titans, which he promised that she would.
So they took that, and they went with it. So
they created the army. Let's see here. Where's
my list? Here we go. So, the Imperial Guard forces
were drawn from all across the galaxy, but the
first choice, of course, was the Talon Desert
Raiders, because they're the goats, and Tauros
is obviously a desert planet. A new regiment
was constructed, was raised from Talon, known
as the 331st Regiment. They were equipped and
shipped. Of course, only one regiment was raised.
You can't raise ten regiments on any moment's
notice. But they were able to find other ones
serving currently around the galaxy. Three more
were fighting across the Imperium and withdrawed.
The fifth regiment was that of the Talarn Third
Armored, which was currently on garrison duty
at Baal Prime, and as long as they found a replacement,
they could get this armor, which they did. This
formed X Corps, so five Talarn regiments. XI
or XI Corps. I just love the idea that they always
say, who are we? X Corps! They do the thing.
X Corps! Unite! XI Corps. was comprised of other
kind of just random regiments. They have the
23rd Elysian Drop Troops, because they need a
mobile force. They have the Cyrenian Assault
Engineers, which were requested specifically
by DeStale. He was saying they're the best assault
troops he's ever had. They're good at close quarters
combat and attacking cities, which is obviously
needed for attacking Tarokin, if they get there.
The 114th... Cadian Shock Troops, which were
a fully mobile regiment commanded by Colonel
Shrinksy. The 8th Brimlock Dragoons, they had
fought against the Tau around the Damocles Gulf
before. And lastly, the 12th Manon Rangers were
scheduled, but they were found to only be the
strength of a reinforced company. The 42nd Mordians
were then found as a replacement, but then they
had to be diverted to go fight High Fleet Kraken.
And so finally, the 19th Kree Armored Regiment
was located, but they would be late. They wouldn't
get there until after the initial invasion, unfortunately.
But they had their force of Imperial Guard, 10
regiments in total. Next, Astartes were requisitioned,
and Captain Aurelius of the Raptors would answer.
It's not fun until the Kriegsman arrive. I feel
bad for Krieg, because they are in everything,
and they are in every single major threat. More
of these people, please. I'll give you a spoiler.
They don't even make it to Taros. So they don't
have to worry about it. Sorry, Volt is a dude.
I misspoke. Volt is a guy. But he did promise
the god machines, and he would. deliver on this
promise only with warhounds though with four
warhound titans uh they would also be late unfortunately
but there was no more time to wait so they had
to go lastly the departmental minotaur provided
indentured engineering and labor cores uh cardinal
astral valis and some other guys sent some religious
support chaplains and the like i guess it's not
really what they're called but It's the same
thing. The Order of Dialogus sent in some Tau
language experts. The Order Hospitaller gave
a pitiful amount of medical care, but they were
there nonetheless. So this is almost one year
into planning, and now the plan for the actual
attack was to begin. The attack needed to take
three objectives. One, the invasion needed to
capture an orbital spaceport. Two, the invasion
needed... The invasion was to be undertaken by
at least three Imperial Guard regiments simultaneously,
and three of the ground forces would need to
secure a supply of water rapidly. The spaceport
would be captured first, as this would be very
important for delivering supplies to the ground
troops. After that, a landing zone would be created
after the Space Marines did their own operations,
because Taro Keane had a missile silo, which
was codenamed... Decima. The Space Marines would
need to destroy this missile silo, otherwise
landing craft bringing in the regiments would
be destroyed, and then the entire operation would
be ruined. So, the fleet was organized, the troops
were organized, they were ready to go, and they
showed up. The Taurus invasion would not be overly
easy, though. because there was only two ways
to Tarokin. One was through a narrow strip of
land called the Icandis Isthmus, something like
that. It was only 15 kilometers wide, so it was
going to be very hard to assault. And so they
decided to go on to the other side of Tauros,
through the desert, because 15 kilometers is
not enough. They would bottleneck, and they would
die. But they did devise a plan to hopefully
split up the Tau forces. They would send the
331st Tauron Regiment, the newer guys, the green
guys. to go out towards the isthmus and try to
distract the Tau and send some forces away. Maybe
this will work. We'll see. They show up to Taurus.
They're in the system. And there's no Tau. There's
not a single Tau ship detected in the system.
Everything seems to be okay. They start patrolling.
They send out signals. Nothing. Hmm. Now... Don't
tell me the tower late as well. Bloody hell.
Everyone's late to the party. It's no fun. Look,
traffic is a bitch. We all tried to show up and
have a good time and no one made it. I was stuck
on Spaceway 32. It was a massive pileup of Oikroft.
Some kind of like warp demon. I don't know what
to tell you. Little did they know this planet
was the smelly one for nerds, so no one actually
really wanted to get there to defend it. This
reminds me of the island that that Denmark and
Canada contest. And they basically, they periodically,
every six months, they put their flag on it.
It's like just every couple of months, whenever
a ship happens to go by, they'll check the flag.
And if it's not theirs, they just take it down.
All right. The fleet consists of the Battlecruiser
Righteous Power, Raptors Battle Barge, the War
Talon. Three Cruisers, the Star of Cassiopeia,
Black Duke, and Hammer of Thrace, which Captain
Duralian is now a guy on, so good for him. Of
course, there's an escort of Black Cruisers and
Frigates as well. Now, the Raptors do their thing.
There's no opposition in space. They don't have
to worry about that. So they take their positions.
They first send 250 rounds from the battle barge
into the missile silos. And next, they launch
their assault. They first had scouts reconnoiter
the area. Then they had assault troops, jump
troops, go down and destroy the AA gun. Obviously,
this is a big deal. Again, to not shoot down
Thunderhawks or the transport ships. Overall...
They fight some humans. It's not a big deal.
They take a couple casualties, but it's not really
a big thing. They destroy the missile silos successfully
with melted charges, and the invasion begins.
So they send down the first wave, which is over
the course of about a day, however many. They
send down the first three regiments of X Corps,
and they land without an issue. They set up a
cordon, they set up a defensive perimeter, and
the landing zone's going all good. Second day,
things continue to go well. everyone's been shipped
supplies are going down a very big defensive
line is made the indentured workers are making
airfields and the likes uh still no tau don't
know what's going on but they're not too unhappy
about it at this point the guardsmen are just
being used for manual labor and moving supplies
around because they don't need to fight anything
yet so they might as well just prepare everything
correctly uh Yeah, not an issue. The tanker Empress
of Svedeg was now in orbit. It was unloading
1 ,000 tons of water a day, and it would take
20 days to fully unload everything. But they
didn't want to wait a whole 20 days, which maybe
wasn't a great idea. So they start reconnoitering
the area. They send their air stuff out because
the aircraft are now on the planet, which is
very good. The Navy sent them 180 aircraft, which
is... The Elysians had 180. The Navy had their
own numbers. They have a decent amount of aircraft.
They're searching around. They find traces of
the Tau existing and Tau presence, but they don't
actually see any Tau. It's very odd. Over the
next two weeks, they finish and everything's
fine. Oh my god, the Tau and the walls. They
must be... Is this like the version of, like,
this is the Purple Tau? Like, it's stealthy.
We can't see it. Never seen a Purple Tau, have
you? Wait, I already discussed the way that they
were going to attack the city. The main assault
would be done through the west. The diversion
would be on the east. Estelle originally asked
the Raptors to be the diversion on the east side,
and Captain Aurelius is, frankly, quite offended
by this. and does not want to be underemployed
in a sideshow to the main campaign, and is not
happy about it. So they send the 331st, which
is pretty good, because they're green, they were
just raised, it wouldn't be great to send them
in the initial assault. You know. Let's see,
X -Corp would be taking the lead role in the
operation, and they had a lot of ground covered.
They landed a long ways away from Tarokin, about
30 days or more. They were to advance forward
every day, 20 kilometers a day. Oh, 60 days,
sorry. It would take 60 days to reach the outskirts
of Tarokin. And all of X -Corp, other than the
331st, were to advance 20 kilometers a day for
60 days, which would eventually bring them to
Tarokin. Maybe it would work. This was all they
could do. He spread out his forces because if
the Tau attacked one force, the other would be
able to go through. They wouldn't be able to
stop them all. At least that was the plan. The
attack would be... Well, let me see. Forgive
me. There's a lot of information. I'm skipping
a lot of numbers, so I don't have to be too autistic
about it. The 11th Corps would be held in reserves,
which included the Cadian 114th, the Elysians,
and the like. That was the plan. The plan would
hopefully go well. Hopefully, forces would be
diverted by the 331st. Hopefully, the rest of
X Corps could advance forwards and would be wide
enough to not be stopped. So, the offensive is
about to begin. It's been 20 minutes. We can
read a couple more donations. Six more. We've
got DarthSasquatch, Colin, Marathi versus Eldrad.
I mean, Marathi's kind of a goddess now, so I'm
probably going to go with her. Although this
is a very vague question. What do you mean by
this? I'm still going Marathi either way. Yeah,
it's respectable. I mean, yeah, but she's a literal
god. He's the wizard who stabbed Abaddon. Yeah,
but a lot of people can stab Abaddon. He was
just confident enough to do it. If the question
was to be involved in a ritual, I don't think
that would be much of a distinction. Who would
I rather partake in some sorcery with? Probably
Eldred, because it's going to be safer, and I
won't get it. turned into demonettes food this
is the batman thing though it's like how much
prep does eldrad have whereas if it's like you're
invited to a meal it's like if it's maratha you
don't know if you're the entree so yeah we have
a tricky one tom warren thinking for two dollars
the fate of your soul is an eternal concern yeah
that's real Bunny Cop for five bucks. Torch Star
is a tomboy gym rat. Shadow Sun is a workout
MILF. Join the Tao, Gwela. None of them are in
this story. I'll have you know. Sam! Thank you,
James, for the five pounds. Happy birthday, Colin.
It's my birthday today too. Keep up the enjoyable
content, guys. Happy birthday to you. Even though
it's not my birthday. People will say it's your
birthday except on the day when it is your birthday.
I'm sure they're going to do that. Beastman from
Sweden. Some people just know how to plan ahead.
True. Ash Fox. I think it was $5. Quickfire smash
or pass? Okay. Any Imperial? Pass. Every Tau?
Smash. Boltgun? Pass. Heavy Flamer? Smash. Goth
GF? Pass. Goth GF as a Genestealer? Smash. Your
base. Someone's been listening to a lot of the
Dingle stuff recently. There's a lot going on
in that comment, and I don't want to unpack it.
It's too much. Smash. You must procreate with
your Genestealer wife. You must procreate. You
must make more soldiers for the four -armed emperor.
I must race mix. I've heard the saying, many
hands make light work, but I don't want to trust
multiple hands with those big nails. Dude, one
hand for each hole. Oh, no. Moving on swiftly.
We have one more donation. Oh, man. Wotan. The
disputed island between Denmark and Canada was
called Hans Island, and the dispute has now been
resolved. The island split down the middle. Wow.
That's no fun. I want them to keep taking each
other's flags down. That's funny. What's crazy
is America probably wants to invade both of them
as well. Say like, is that island on the list?
We're going to put a Starbucks there. It'll be
great. Cultural victory. Oh man. Alright, before
we go onwards, an important piece of information.
The company's regiments Currently have 30 days
worth of supplies. More is coming on the planets,
but at the given rates, they leave now. In theory,
the rest of the supplies should reach their front
lines while they're moving. In theory. Maybe
this is a bit of a rash decision to make. X Corps
was the 12th Armored Regiment, which was on the
right flank. The 3rd Armored was kept behind
as a reserve. The 17th Talon were on the west,
89th in the center, and then again 12th on the
right or the east, and then the 331st striking
out on their own. Okay. Exciting news. First
day of the offensive begins. The artillery obliterate
everything in front of the front lines, and they
get moving. No issues. As nightfall comes, they've
covered the 20 kilometers they needed. Easy peasy.
Flyers are going around. Fighters, thunderbolts,
and lightnings flying around, keeping them safe.
Nothing to be kept safe of right now, though.
Day two began in a similar manner. Spirits were
high. Morale were high. Some of the newer recruits
started to think that maybe the Tau just gave
up and left Tauros for them, which would be wonderful.
Unfortunately, out in the desert, stealth suits
and Pathfinder teams are observing the Imperials.
Shazzle Vermeer, scheming in his headquarters,
sees it clear that the Imperials are now attacking.
So, after the Imperials start moving on the second
day, they abandon their trench lines, their razor
wire, their minefields. It's time for the Tau
to attack. The first battle was at an abandoned
mining facility designated Tungsta Station, which
the Tau Larn 17th... took the brunt of. The 17th
advanced to the tungsten station, decided they
want to take this. They show up, but out in the
desert, a hunter cadre is moving. Suddenly, a
Lehman Rust spots a Pathfinder team and opens
fire and is returned fire with a barrage of seeker
missiles, reducing it to a hunk of scrap metal.
Hammer fires, sorry, hammerheads show up on the
edge of the tungsten station. and start to obliterate
the Lehman Russes, which then pop smoke and fire
back. Lieutenant Kavir, leading these platoons,
presses forward with 1st Platoon of the 2nd Company,
and they advance to the outskirts of the station,
but are met with fire warriors and devil fish,
and heavy fire, and XVIII crisis battleships
show up. Led by the own Hunter Cadra's Chazelle,
which is the commander of the Hunter Cadra, they
urgently call for reinforcements. Stormtroopers
are brought. A Thunderbolt is scrambled. More
Tau forces show up. Strafing runs from low -flying
Barracudas have caused the first platoon to retreat.
The Stormtroopers and Thunderbolts show up, but
it's not enough. Three Lehman Rust tanks were
already flaming wreckage. The sector's advance
was stalled for the day. All across the flank,
attacks like this were happening. All across
the front, attacks like this were happening.
Skirmishes and the likes. Not a great time. On
the right flank, the 12th Armored Regiment would
experience similar issues. Tower hammerheads
and broadsides easily picked off the Lehman Rust
tanks through the open fields. It was the perfect
place for the tower to fight. It's open fields
of sand. There's no cover in the way. They easily
outranged the Imperials. Even the troops outranged
them quite easily, other than sniper rifles.
The same thing would happen again and again.
They would set up shop or set up their attack,
ambush with secret missiles from Pathfinders,
shoot things with railguns. The infantry would
come in and devilfish. The infantry and the Imperial
side would push forwards as they were out of
range. Once they got their heavy weapons set
up and everything was in range, the fire warriors
simply got back in their devilfish and left.
It goes pretty well. It's kind of the Taos thing.
This is the Taos thing. This is how they fight.
They fight very logically. Cowardly. Cowardly.
Run at them with your sword. That's the way to
do war. Run at them with a sword or a stick or
something you can bludgeon with. And then you
win or lose. That's how you fight. The whip crack
sound of railguns became a... omen of fear and
terror imperial guardsmen reported the air being
sucked out of their breaths when their railgun
round went by or hit beside them which is pretty
cool is this um is this cow yon or is this um
or what tactic in what doctrine you can say it
is but it's kind of just like regular tau like
guerrilla warfare ish yeah yeah you could call
it cow yon i guess the end of the day the three
tau philosophies are just like really basic concepts
and you're just supposed to pretend they're really
advanced but uh it's more or less attack crazy
yeah seriously use cover occasionally third principle
dying is generally considered bad like tao literally
read uh sun tzu's art of war which is like this
which is like this is genius You can't be defeated
by an enemy if you have no enemies. Give up.
When you're writing for a bunch of stupid, dumb
morons who make up the nepo -baby generals of
your army, you gotta keep it simple. Remember
to feed the peasants. Unbelievable! But this
is more or less Kaleon. The initial strikes are
pretty Kaleon because they wait and they hide
and then they come out in ambush. But this is
kind of the tactic they used for the rest of
it. After five days, the 12th Armored had lost
approximately half of their tanks. They had,
of course, inflicted some damage on the Tau,
but not very much. Replacements were found, but
not to bring them back to their full strength.
Regimental Commander Colonel Asha Bilad started
to deploy his basilisks of his first artillery
forward to act as assault guns. As I said before,
the pattern of Tau attacks would play out over
the ensuing days. Things were not going great.
It's a really unenjoyable battle to fight if
you're the Imperial Guard. The Imperials were
gaining ground because the Tau never prolonged
combat. Obviously, that's not really what they
do. But at a heavy cost. So, clearly, tactics
needed to be changed. Lord Marshal Estelle and
his staff were analyzing the Tau tactics and
started to try and counter them. One thing they
tried was... upping the reconnaissance squads,
sending them more Sentinels, that's what they're
called, and they would start hunting Pathfinder
teams. There was some success. It was certainly
better than nothing. Unfortunately, regular Tau
weaponry can still destroy Sentinels pretty easily,
but it was something. There was less ambushes
from the Pathfinders. There was less secret missiles
coming in to absolutely obliterate tanks. But
next, De Stijl looks to the mobility of his own
forces. The Tau's expertise was obviously in
speed, and so he needed the Navy to pick up some
slack and get to work. So he started dedicating
Navy forces as air support for the infantry.
Whenever Tau assaults would happen, ambushes
would happen, a thunderbolt or lightning would
be scrambled and would provide air support, strafing
runs, etc. to destroy everything there, and this
worked quite well for a time. The Towers did
not have a lot of answers to the planes until
they called upon their own air force, and the
war for the air began. Unfortunately, this would
take away fighters from defending the regular
Imperial forces, so the ambushes were able to
kind of come back at a more or less full rate.
Overall, after 10 days, they made up 150 kilometers.
behind scheduled by around 30 to 50 kilometers,
but they were still moving. The next major battle
was to happen in the Fira Heights. After 20 days,
the regiments had covered 300 kilometers, and
they found these big heights, known as the Fira
Heights, these big rock formations. Also, to
note, supply lines were beginning to see issues.
There was not enough fuel for the vehicles, so
convoys were not able to reach their destinations
on time. And only once they did could the Imperials
advance again, so things were starting to become
very slow and very difficult. But they tell on
the 17th, again, we're coming to bound the Vyra
Heights, and they were ordered to swing slightly
westward and capture the higher ground, potentially
outflanking the town defenders and opening a
clear path to the Irukanda Isthmus. So for seven
days, they advance towards the rugged escarpments
without any issues, which is very nice. But then
they show up. They start the rocky climb. They
perform reconnaissance missions. This is very
steep, very narrow. No tanks can be brought in,
so it's only infantry for the most part. They
don't find any tow there. They find tracks, but
no actual enemies. Some people are starting to
get injured and killed by random falling rocks
and things like that, but these are just chalked
up to be accidents. Not a big deal. General Barum
Abbas was in command of these troops, and he
ordered them to capture the high ground. And
they began to climb. Unfortunately for them,
the Kroot, led by a Master Shaper, were waiting
within the heights, hiding as to avoid detection
and artillery fire. And as the Imperials got
to the first ridgeline, the Kroot get up and
they charge. Half the Imperials just run away.
The other half get slaughtered. Over the next
10 days, they skirmish three more times, with
the Kroot throwing them back each time. But then
the fourth attack sees the Imperials capture
the first ridgeline. They kind of just keep skirmishing
for the rest of the war. The Stale lets the 17th
fight with them. It's not a big deal for either
side to get it, so it is what it is. This was
the high -water mark of the 17th, having so far
captured 350 kilometers of desert. So, with them
occupied, he reorganizes his regiments a little
bit because the tanks can be used elsewhere.
The 3rd Talar armor, that is. They were to reinforce
the 89th and the 12th armored and were... split
up into three battle groups a b and c and they
reinforce things respectively let me see here
yes okay uh at five ninety six nine nine eight
dot m41 battle group a spearheads an attack and
they come across a a mining facility an active
mining facility uh gia de mac as they approach
a lot of randoms run away the civilians working
there run away as it was home to thousands of
miners which again mostly the most of them fled
they saw no enemy currently there but raz as
is the one commanding this company wanted the
mining complex they were going to capture it
so they tried first like they planned they surround
the place with tanks so that tau cannot retreat
if there are any tau in there And they go up.
They bring their chimeras up. The troops get
out of their chimera and walk straight into a
kill zone and all die. They lose 100 men and
have to retreat as the Tau come out from hiding
and shoot them all to pieces. Sneaky Xenos. The
hiding does not allow real life tactics. Yeah,
but we don't talk about them. They're so good
at hiding we don't even see them in the lore
these days. Tragically true. It really shows
the Imperium's weakness, because in the way that
their armies are all designed, it's very much
like everything is a mass production, like the
Lasgun, the Lehman Rust tank. Everything is designed
to be like... What book is it with... It's the
Damocles one where Farsight's fighting off the
first invasion. He fights with the ultramarines
and other chapters. And they literally, the Tau,
make a point and they say like, oh, the Imperium
is like, their guns are worse than ours. Their
morale, their troops are worse. But the thing
is, they have so many of them. It's just designed
to be like a wall of constant, like, you know,
it's a war machine of metal. And obviously, on
Taurus now, like... Basically, you can see how
the Imperium struggles when it's actually not
able to deploy in overwhelming numbers, which
is pretty... They literally are the Horde faction.
They really fall prey to guerrilla warfare, which
is obviously... Hey, that's a pretty nice stealth
suit you got there. Here's a million guardsmen.
What's the quote, Colin, isn't it? About not
underestimating the last gun or something? Oh,
yeah. It's like... I don't remember. I honest
to God, I don't remember where I heard it, but
it's like he who underest or he who laughs at
the last gun hasn't charged across a field of
a thousand of them. You know, one, one of them
against the enemies, the Imperium fights his
ass. A thousand is a whole lot of ass. Just say
for people who are slightly uninitiated, the
tower mostly using the equivalent of what is
like plasma technology. So, you know, the thing
about the space Marine. lieutenants or captains
or the massive Dreadnoughts have the massive
plasma guns. The Tau have that en masse. And
again, bringing a tank of columns of Lehman Russes
to infantry that all have anti -tank guns, essentially.
They're not going to destroy a Predator or anything.
They will blow up a Landspeeder pretty easily.
No, yeah, but the Tau, on average, are much more
advanced than what the Imperium's going to throw
it at. Yes, I said on average. I'm well aware
in some secret Mechanicus vault or wherever the
Dark Cells are beneath Terra, yes, there is more
advanced stuff. Your random Joe Schmo guardsman
is well out -equipped by a Tau, though. All right.
So the first assault went pretty poorly, but
then the next day... They lead a second assault,
which is led by Captain Hadid within his Chimera.
They storm the objective. There's Chimera fire.
Tons of Chimeras. It's by the Armored 3rd Company
Fist. Multilasers shooting all over the place.
Captain Hadid's Chimera is shot 35 times. So
one pulse round kills his driver. He gets out,
dismounts, leads his men on foot like a hero,
charges forward. They're covered by the blanket
of fire from the chimeras and mortars. Again,
the tanks are surrounding the mine so that they
can't escape. They get to the mine and they engage
in close quarters combat, which is obviously
not the Tau's strong suit. They don't enjoy it
very much. They actually value their lives and
they're taught to try to survive in battle. So
they generally try to avoid it, and they're not
great at it. They don't train for it nearly as
much. That lore still doesn't make any sense
whatsoever, but we're just going to say this.
I think it's like the Tau have slightly sore
reaction speeds, but slightly better eyesight,
I feel, I've read somewhere. So they're built
for ranged combat, but it's not that they're
no more... Just look at the tabletop stats. They're
no worse than a Guardsman in melee combat. Yeah,
they're not much worse. A Fire Warrior would
kill you in five seconds flat. They're trained
from birth, basically. They're like killing machines.
Yeah, it's a genetic cast of warriors. They're
still stronger than you, buddy. But they are
lighter. They are shorter on average. So they're
at a slight disadvantage in fighting. That doesn't
actually make them any worse at fighting. They're
just, if you're heavier and bigger than the guy,
you're going to be able to beat him easier. i'd
argue that the fire warriors have probably a
lot better technique than the random guardsman
does to be fair but there's probably two guardsmen
for every one town yeah so two guys are bayonets
i don't i don't know if this is the excuse they
give anymore but in like the old codex they said
the tower don't see a reason for melee combat
in such an advanced war so they never trained
for it but that's like really stupid um The Tau
are reasonable in a very unreasonable galaxy.
But yeah, I don't know. They need a reason to
make them bad at something because they're good
at something else on the tabletop. It could go
full circle. You know how in the Dune universe
they got shield technology that was so good that
actually having a fast cut would blink off the
shield so they actually have to slow down when
they attack people. So it could go weirdly the
opposite direction. Tower cool, though. Tower
cool. There's a lot of reasons they're worse
in combat than your average dude, but it's not
just because they're weaklings. That's a myth
that's inaccurate. But we can talk about that
at a different time. Regardless, they're in the
mines now. They're engaging in close quarters
combat. Grenades, knives, pistols, fists, good
stuff. After a few hours of fighting, finally
four orcas defended by a squad of barracudas
touch down and extract the fire warriors that
they can. The rear guard of the Tau cannot be
rescued, unfortunately. Their sacrifice is respected.
Overall, 63 of the Xenos are captured, and 63
corpses are later burning in a mass grave at
the end of the night. The 3rd Tau Larn Regiment's
losses were 322 killed or wounded, and 11 vehicles
destroyed. Yet another costly engagement. After
another 14 days of advancing through Tau sniping
and harassment, Battlegroup A... closes to within
50 kilometers of the objective. But, unfortunately,
supply lines are running thin, and the rest of
the forces are not so close. The second phase
of Shazo -Ramir's plan starts to reap its reward,
and kind of goes into full effect, committing
to rear echelon raids, and there's little left
to stop them. There's not much to stop the Imperial
advance in the front either, because he's committing
his forces now to the rearguard. But the Imperial
forces at the front have no resources, so it
doesn't really matter. Alright. Shall we read
a couple of donos? Yeah. Who'd like this one?
Dementia Gaming. What are we playing? Give me
your webstone. First time catching it. That wasn't
really escaping. That was a... 50 -year smoker
trying to be... Yeah, that was... I've been talking
to Mish Mash too much lately. First time catching
a stream and just wanted to say you all look
dapper today. And Colin, where's that? I'm sorry,
I forgot the hat. I will admit. Huge. She lays
a beak on my ravage till I sound wave. Sound
wave's the coolest transformer. Transformers
lore will happen someday. God. We're just going
to re -watch those Fall of Cybertron gameplay
or something. And then watch Revenge of the Fallen,
the best movie ever made. Was Danny Trejo in
one of them? I don't know. Am I remembering it?
All I know is that I'm located under the enemy
scrotum. and like the first one or two deadpool
movies but then like he got fired because he
they didn't like him oh he's weasley weasel or
something no he has like blonde like curly hair
he's the guy in the bar oh yeah that guy he's
in one of the transformers films and he gets
killed off because michael bay said he was so
annoying that he killed him Wow. Who is the guy
you said, Andy? What's his name? Danny Trejo.
Machete. He was in Call of Duty once. I think
he is in one of them, probably. Nice. I'm not
sure. He's in a trillion movies. His brief appearance
in the film, was it Predators or something? The
one where they are on the alien planet and they
have all these different mercenaries captured
by different... from different groups and they
either get hunted by one of the predators. I
still love him in Con Air when it's just like,
what the fuck is that? Is that Steve Buscemi,
Danny? That's Steve Buscemi. Leave him alone.
He used to be a firefighter. He's a good man.
Not in the film, but in real life. Anyway. Let's
read this one more. Don't know. That just came
up and then we'll get back to... Let's have a
look. From Darth Sasquatch again. Thank you.
If you all could spend a day... Any one Warhammer
character, who would it be? Am I taking to Warhammer
for the day, or are they coming to me? Because
that's going to change my answer. I feel like
we're probably with them in their universe. I'm
not picking Felix, then. No. All I'm saying is...
This might surprise you, but I would probably
be like, okay, Gilliman, can you, like, help
me to make sure that, like, I have, like, financial
stability for the future and, like, could have
all these things, like, squared away for, like,
if I have a day, I can be like, help me with
your admin powers so that I can have a fulfilling
life without having to worry about taxes anymore.
I see, but all he's going to do is give you,
like, a budgetary plan. He's not going to significantly
change your life, especially if you're going
to him. Or here's one. Sanguinis be like, can
you see into my future and tell me when I'm going
to die so I know what it is? It's horrible information
to learn. It's not necessarily the future that
will happen. The obvious answer is Rogald Dorn
so he can design you an amazing house. I can't
hate that answer. Bro would appear. The discussion
wouldn't go on too long. He'd get to work and
then at the end he'd be like, By the way, your
Vanguard investment fund is not really looking
that so tight. Yeah, but you know what the problem
will be, Hal? In a year's time, you'll get a
letter like, I'm sorry to tell you that you don't
have planning permission for the Fortress of
Goon. Please bring it down, Hal. Stop it. I'd
probably either pick Caiaphas Cain and go drinking
with him, because day -to -day life, he's doing
his best to be very conspicuously anywhere but
where he needs to be. Or I'd follow Techless
like a lost puppy around Safari, hoping that
I understand anything about magic. It's on theme.
I'd probably choose some Tau guy. Commander Pure
Tide could give you a lot of wisdom. Or I could
ask Ovesa, the Earthcast guy, to give me some
kind of crazy blueprints for a life -world changing
invention. Vlad's another. Vlad's another contender.
I'd spend a day with Vlad. I'd change my answer.
Still Rogald Dorn, but I wouldn't ask him to
build a house. I'd watch the entire Rush Hour
trilogy with Rogald Dorn. What is this? This
movie is funny. Highly amusing, said Dorn. Yeah.
And then he punches Garrow in the face. Is this
from current 40k? Probably from current 40k.
If it was in the past, I'd be telling Horus some
stuff about what not to do. Maybe. On how to
actually win. Stab Erebus. Yeah. Alright. Let's
go back to the desert world of Tauros. So, Tau
raids have began, unfortunately. The front lines,
on the other hand, are up here. The supply lines
are way back there. It currently takes, I believe,
some three days for a Trojan full of supplies
and water and oil, their fuel, etc., to reach
the front lines. But that's not the only issue.
This is a massive gap, and as a result, security
is thin. As a result of that, raids are very
easy to do from the Tau viewpoint. So they're
sending in... Orcas with stealth suits, fire
warriors, and pathfinders in the night. They're
destroying supply lines. They're raiding ammo
caches. They're blowing things up. It's very
bad. The Imperium has to increase security, so
they have to take from the front lines, which
is already dwindling and already slowing down.
embarrassing battle. A large supply drum is destroyed
without a single shot being fired. The Pathfinders
set explosives in it and then it basically sets
off a nuclear bomb as it blows up all the fuel
cans and ammunition crates. Mr. DeStale aboard
his Leviathan is even woken up by it. It sucks.
I was having a nap. I'll tell you. Things suck
big time. As supplies dwindle, so does water.
Now all of a sudden the dudes on the front line
are getting thirsty. They are Talarn Desert Raiders.
They're from Talarn, so they are made of sterner
stuff, but they're not immune to dehydration,
though, unfortunately. By 640998 .m41, the offensive
has ground to a halt. The 12th Armored Spear,
headed by Battlegroup A of the 3rd, has almost
reached the mouth of Arcanda Isthmus, but the
other two infantry regiments are lagging far
behind. The 17th were still stuck in the fire
heights, and the 89th thinly filled the gaps
between the two flanks. The 331st, of course,
had advanced. They had advanced to the southern
shores of the Emsai. I think that's what the
ocean is called. They were digging in, but unfortunately,
the Tau had not fell for the faint. The war for
the skies continued to rage, and it was very
close. Very, very close. The Tau had better numbers,
but the Imperials had greater experience. If
the Tau could not control the skies, their raiding
strategy would soon falter and the front lines
would soon be able to pick up the pace again.
The Imperials were putting up a very strong fight,
and Shazo Vermeer planned to end it. So, he planned
a daring raid behind enemy lines on one of the
forward air bases to destroy all currently grounded
aircraft in the area. This was led by Shazel
Kiri. He gathered an elite strike force, I believe
of volunteers. They would raid it, and Orca would
fly over the desert and pass directly over their
airstrip. Fire warrior teams would jump through,
would jump out with their support teams. Crisis
suits would come in and help them. They would
plant EMP grenades on the planes, blow them up,
get back in the Orca, and leave. That was the
plan, at least. But obviously, this was very
dangerous. They were informed that they... Probably
wouldn't make it back. If anything went wrong,
they would be stranded. Things would go bad.
But they do it. They launch the attack. Things
go more or less well. But unfortunately, as the
Orca comes around for a second go, it is damaged.
One of the engines blows up and it is grounded.
They've destroyed the planes. They fight through
the night. Imperial reinforcements eventually
arrive. Shaz -El -Kiri and his men are killed
or captured. But regardless, they have destroyed,
I believe... Nine aircraft, somewhere between
six to nine, eight aircraft, whatever. The number
is a bit arbitrary. But they destroy a decent
chunk of aircraft, and they've severely damaged
an airfield. There were plans to make more forward
airfields, but these are scrapped, and security
has to be increased for already airfields in
the back. Taking away again from the front lines.
This starts to strain the Navy significantly.
The air war starts to slowly turn in the Tau's
favor. Air Marshal Denvelt estimates the Tau
had assembled a group of at least 10 squadron
-sized groups, numbering at possibly 120 Barracudas
and 40 Tiger Sharks. The Imperial Navy had four
fighter wings, two bomber wings, and one tactical
wing committed to the campaign. At the beginning,
they had 78 fighters, mostly Thunderbolts, as
well as 24 Marauder bombers, 18 Valkyrie transports.
Reinforcements had been asked for, but were not
answered. The squadrons slowly started to feel
the strain of prolonged combat. Aircraft losses
were surmounting, were mounting, whatever, and
they were not being replaced. Fuel was running
out. Munitions were running out. The air bases
were farther back, so the air missions were taking
significantly longer. It was a lot harder for
them to do long -range missions. They had to
go all the way from the back lines to the front
and then all the way back, so air support was
very thin. Less air protection from the Navy
meant increased threat for the ground forces
and low -level barracuda strafing runs. Supply
lines took very heavy losses as the aircraft
continued to strafe them in lightning attacks.
By the time the next operation, known as Operation
Comet, was launched, Air Marshal Den Veldt commanded
37 fighters, 12 bombers, and 13 Valkyries. So
about half of what he had before. Bad times.
No reinforcements had still been given. None
ever would. So currently the campaign is in a
very bad spot. One would even say somewhat in
shambles on the brink of destruction. So clearly
something needs to change. and had been raging
for 42 days at this point. The men were weary.
Morale was low. They had sustained weeks of ambushes,
raids, and counterattacks. Equipment and manpower
was running low. Dehydration was starting to
take more than actual combat. So, Destail holds
a staff meeting upon his Leviathan. A heated
debate ensued until General Sikova of the 23rd
Elysian Drop Troops proposes the initial idea
for Operation Comet. This idea was to take control
of Tauros' main means of water production. This
is the 4621st Army. That's what the entire force
is called. And he argued that they need to change
their objective to currently just take the larger
hydro -processing plants. Their eyes would fall
upon hydro -processing plant 2330. situated towards
the eastern end of the Urkanda Isthmus. If they
could capture this plant, the troops would add
water, and the offensive could resume. This could
truly tip the scales of the war into the Imperials'
advantage. He was given a three -day deadline
to plan this attack. Not very much, but they
eventually decided that the full Elysian Company
was to be dedicated to this. They would drop
onto the plant. Meanwhile, the Titans and the
Space Marines... would lead the relief force
of the 114th Cadian Regiment, the mobile guys.
They would punch through a force of Tau lines,
and then the Cadians could rush through in the
narrow strip of land to go reinforce that hydro
processing plant 2330. It was to be done in two
drops for the Elysians. The first drop would
be half the regiment. Second drop would be the
other half, including more heavy weapons and
the likes. The general or colonel, what was he?
I don't know, regardless, he very much wanted
the two drops to happen at the same time, within
the same day, but it was just impossible. It
was 1 ,050 kilometers away from the airfield,
and it took three to four hours to get there,
round trip. They would need to resupply and rearm.
It just couldn't be done in one day. So unfortunately,
the first half would need to be deployed, capture
the processing plant, and then wait for the reinforcements
on the next day. Such was the plan. So they gathered
the airwings. an epic launch of the valkyries
hundreds of valkyries were flying the entirety
of the elysians valkyries it uh brought together
what's the word escorted by thunderbolt fighters
lightnings and vultures of the elysians as well
oh let's see they didn't know what was there
there was a lot of dudes my bro's going through
this campaign i'm going as fast as i can Because
otherwise we'd be here for a long time. Eli has
once done a three and a half hour episode on
Farsight. I'm trying to avoid that. I'm trying
to make sure we can be done in two hours. You
will learn about the Tau. This is not a negotiation.
I'm just trying to skim through my notes. I have
46 pages of single -spaced notes for the Tauros
campaign. It'll be an exciting video when it
happens. They didn't know what enemies were at
the processing plant. All they could do was take
pictures from orbit. The priority targets of
the first lift would be the central complex,
the lifting station, pumping stations 1, 2, and
3, and the holding tanks. If the site itself
was destroyed, the holding tanks could still
prove valuable because they likely held pure
water. Aside from that, though, minimal damage
was to be done to the processing plant because
obviously they needed to use it. Secondary targets
would be the chlorination works, both main and
reserve pumping stations, and the generator house.
All of these were to be captured by the first
wave and reinforced in the second. Along with
the first wave also came a few Cadian what are
they called? Troopers. Shock Troopers. Storm
Troopers. There you go. They're just Storm Troopers
in this. They're called Cadian Shock Troopers,
aren't they? Yeah. But they brought stormtroopers
along with them, though. Yeah. The second wave
would then reinforce them the next day. Regimental
headquarters would be established in the administration
block. There were a lot of concerns with the
mission, obviously. Even weather could botch
it. They didn't know the people there. What if
the first wave just died? What if the Space Marines
and the Cadians couldn't send the relief force
on time? They didn't really have a choice, though.
They had to do it. So the day came. The first
lift happened. It was 160 Valkyries and 30 Vultures
powered up their engines and went forth through
the desert sands. And they made it there without
too much issue. A few planes were shot down,
but nothing crazy. They went with this pretty
quickly. The Tau weren't sure if it was going
to happen. So it was pretty good. It was pretty
good. They make there, and they make the jumps,
and the stormtroopers rappel on lines, and they
charge the station. There's human defenders,
sentry turrets, and crew at the station. They
take quite a lot of casualties at the beginning,
but they're able to do it. Unfortunately, Colonel
Sikova, General Sikova, I forgot his rank, is
wounded. He's shot in the arm by a stray pulse
round. So the commanding officer of the entire
operation is wounded on the first day. But not
killed. Another guy takes over command. And they
keep it going. They eventually take it. uh they
get repelled once by the crude then they bring
the mortars in the mortars pound the crude and
they get in there they kill all the crude all
the humans etc but it has done a fair bit of
damage to the hydro processing plant regardless
they've got it they turn it into a fortified
defensive position over the next the rest of
the day the rest of the night making barricades
setting up whatever heavy weapons they do have
etc it's a success at the moment unfortunately
A hunter cadre shows up, and they start besieging
the Elysians, who cannot do a whole lot. They
don't have a lot of heavy -ranged weapons. All
they can do is shoot what little they have, use
their mortars, but they're being pounded pretty
hard. But the Tau do need to move in if they
want to actually take it. Regardless, they're
surviving. Meanwhile, 800 kilometers away, the
Space Marines, Cadians, and Warhound Titans are
moving. They engage the Tau, and they crush their
force. The Titans are able to outrange the Hammerhead
tanks, just destroying them. The Space Marines
pull up and start murdering Tau. They punch a
hole through, and the Cadians zoom through. But
a new Tau creation makes itself known as the
AX -10 Tiger Shark flies up, and in a terrible,
horrible moment, shoots its seeker missiles,
which destroys... a warhound titan shields and
then shoots a new heavy rail gun never seen before
on a fighter only ever seen on a manta or spacecraft
it shoots it right through the warhound titan
and a warhound titan is destroyed no also can
i can i go back for a second just like you said
he got a stray shot from a rail gun that doesn't
sound like a pulse He made his feel no pain safe.
He's fine. Bit of a scratch. So, they've captured
the hydro processing plant. They're under fire,
but the Cadians are now on their way. Hundreds
of Chimeras are storming through the desert.
A bunch of Salamander scout vehicles. It's pretty
epic. They've lost a Warhound Titan, which sucks.
But they did achieve their objective. The next
morning, the second lift happens. They make it
to the lines, who are again under heavy fire,
the hydro -processing plants. But this time,
the Tau know they're coming, and they send their
air force. A lot of Valkyries and Vultures are
destroyed on the way. A lot of things are taken
off course. So when the drop happens, a lot of
the soldiers fall into the acid sea and die a
painful death, or they fall into the Tau lines
and just get gunned down in the sky. But some
of them do. Make it the hydro processing plant.
It's still not great though. They don't have
a lot of ranged weapons. They don't have much
air support. The vultures come in as rolling
air support. But they have to return quite quickly.
Because there's low fuel. But they're fighting
as hard as they can. Unfortunately. The Tau bring
forward. Tiger shark bombers. And a manta. Drones
swarm the area. The manta rakes it with burst
rounds. Burst rounds, everything. Burst gun rounds,
I guess that's what it's called. Doesn't matter.
All they can do is hug cover and pray that the
Cadians make it. Unfortunately, with no fire
support from the Navy, they just couldn't do
very much. They fought for two days and two nights
straight. The hydro processing plant had been
reduced to rubble. the survivors crawled and
were reduced to small pockets uh ramir the commander
or is a commander in the tower reaches out to
the current general who's in command colonel
uh black and asked for a ceasefire saying there's
no point of this slaughter you've clearly lost
we can stop fighting right now but he refuses
to surrender and by nightfall the 23rd legion
elysian regiment was annihilated there's a few
survivors including general sikiva they were
disarmed taking prisoner they're gone meanwhile
the cadians are making it through the desert
uh the tower does not commit many forces to them
because they chose to commit them to the hydro
processing plant which was obviously the right
choice instead they just try to slow down the
cadians by doing ambushes so they're in a bit
of a stop start running battle as Pathfinder
teams send secret missiles out towards them,
and they have small skirmishes. Part of them
needs to be left behind to fight, but most of
them do get through. Seeing that he needs to
get the processing plan as soon as possible,
as they've lost contact with the Elysians, the
leading captain decides to go forwards with his
scout vehicles in a fairly daring mission. Unfortunately,
they show up. Colonel Stranksy and his guys,
he's the one leading it, they show up, and they
find a whole lot of nothing. Just ruins of the
processing plant, corpses, destroyed devilfish,
destroyed broadsides, abandoned heavy weapons,
burned out sentinels. There's nobody left. Did
the town destroy their own water source as well,
then? It's not the only water source on Taros.
It was just a main one. So yes, they more or
less did. Yeah. Tough stuff. He finds that there's
nothing there, so the 114th Packup, go back home.
Well, home to the front lines, you know. So,
the news of Operation Comet's failure reaches
Lord Commander Gustavus' high command, and Commissar
General Mordred Van Horkick is not happy. He
declares himself the new commander of the mission,
and he takes it over, which is, there's nothing
Gustavus can do about it. He has every right
to take over the mission. He also sanctions Destail's
execution, but Gustavus likes Destail. He's been
a dutiful soldier, and he's done his best, so
he sends him, he sends Colonel Shaja down to
Destail to deliver him orders that says he can
either turn himself in, or he can go serve on
the front lines in an attack that he will likely
die in. The stale asks Skaja to wait outside
his Leviathan for a minute, so he goes out into
the hallway, and he kills himself. He shoots
himself, taking the only way out that he could
while retaining his martial honor. Damn. The
Commissar rounds up a lot of officers to be executed,
and then the rest who do not fight back are given
the option to go serve in a penal legion to die
well for the Emperor. Yeah. The Commissar now
works with Gustavus, and he issues a full retreat
of the front line, not to abandon Tarros, but
to shorten supply lines. And obviously, this
is all they really can do. So they do that. It's
barely even a retreat. It's more like a panicked
rout, because the guardsmen are dying of thirst.
They know the Tau can show up and kill them at
any second. It's not great. Fleet Admiral Koto
was summoned, and he was informed that his naval
assets would be used to escort a new series of
convoys for supply into the system. If he failed
to do this, he would be shot. So either break
the Tau blockade, or die anyways. and people
what's the cane phenomenon where like he says
there's a thing about he wonders why so many
commissars like basically get shot in the back
can't imagine what the reasoning is yeah like
because it's the most important thing is to avoid
not getting accidentally killed by your own men
yeah but the war commissar has every right to
do it so far every most of the missions have
failed and yeah he's just doing his job Sounds
like heresy to me. You will not be fired. You
will have a bullet fired at you. Not all is lost.
Not yet, at least. As General Sigva and his Elysians,
whatever were left, were taken prisoner. The
general himself was given medical treatment and
was brought to the Tau headquarters, where Shazo
Ramir, through a translator, asked him to be
an emissary for the Tau. He asked him to deliver
a ceasefire agreement. He would let the humans
leave. They would not shoot down any transports.
They would free up the airspace. They would let
everybody leave. No more questions asked. No
more fires. No more guns fired. Sigafor was offered
to be the commander of the human forces on Tauros
and given a very good life within the Tau Empire.
But, of course, he's a good man. He's a man of
his empire. He believes in the Emperor. He refuses.
So they send him back. They sent him back to
prison. Unfortunately, for Taro, though, Ticova
now knows the location of their headquarters,
and as he studied Taro extensively before the
battle, so he knew exactly where he was. They
didn't blindfold him or anything when they transported
him there. So he had some very vital information.
He devised an escape plot with five other Elysians,
and they do successfully escape the prison, overwhelming
their three human guards and taking their water.
He estimated that... There was westwards positions
of the 331st Talon Regiments. So he went that
way. The other guys split up as to avoid mass
detection. The guards didn't really care. These
are just dudes running out into the desert without
any supplies. They're just going to die. They're
basically dead man. And after three days of intense
heat and freezing cold, Sikava was almost dead.
He uses the last of his energy to trace a large
Aquila outline in the sand before falling down
unconscious. Thankfully for him, A Thunderbolt
on reconnaissance spots it, tells the 331st they
send a forward infantry team to take a closer
look and extract Sigiva. Big news for him. He
then goes and tells the command staff where the
Tau headquarters is. Now, this is the Imperium's
last chance. They have the opportunity to wipe
out the Tau command. This could be it. This could
win them the war. for Tauros if they can kill
Shazzle Vermeer and whoever else was behind the
commanding on Tauros. I need to get some water.
Talk amongst yourself for two minutes. Okay.
All I'm hearing is I'm hearing a lot of excuses
being made by a lot of subjects of the Imperium.
Should have fought harder. The Emperor protects.
They could have killed. It's just a Tau. It's
just like pruning. It's like pruning a hedge.
It's not a big deal. Where's the Space Marines?
Put one Space Marine there. He'll sort it. Colin's
muted. Oh, I am. Are you really going skill issue
right now? Speaking of skill issues, I'm muted.
You're losing the argument for the whole time,
but then you pull out your mum at the end. Yeah,
basically. Everything you said before is completely
irrelevant. You lose the argument. Well, nuh
-uh. Imperium's losing. Nuh -uh. no you elite
response though i think with the imperium stuff
though like it's often they often just need that
like really random like heroic sort of well even
when they do like great like long engagements
though they they're just not gonna win unless
they get like a basic one decisive win well even
in the kyphos kane stories they just need something
just to like really bring it out one big dub
What's the Kuyper's cane book where he, there's
a few he interacts with, like Tau with, but there's
the, one of the later ones. And like the book
literally opens up with, they are losing against
the Tau. They're all about to die. Oh yeah. Hang
on a minute. Pause. And he's like, hmm? And they're
like, that's a thing? There's some tuners we
need to fight. Let's have a peace treaty. And
he's like, well, that saved our asses. I think,
if I remember correctly, the first line of the
book is him going, I'll say one thing about the
Tau. They know how to put on a good war. He's
one of his least favorite enemies, isn't it,
Tau? Because they're always bloody. In the first
book ever, they walk past some crisis suit, and
they literally go, fuck me. They're glad we're
not fighting them. Like, man, that's scary. Yeah,
that's pretty bad. Do we have any donuts to read
before we... We've got a couple. One from Bean
saying he's reaching. No one's reaching. And
one from Caleb Collins. Oh, hey, Caleb. $4 .99
from Caleb Collins. Less weebs is always a good
reason to fight, especially those who love Sword
Art Online. Or even worse, fools who think Dragon
Ball Z doesn't stomp most franchises. Listen.
Dragon Ball Z is like a roller coaster. It has
the highest highs, but I'm not there for the
plot, really. I'm there for the incredible testosterone
-filled battle. I'm not there because I'm like,
this changed my perspective on life. I'm here
so I can shout like a child at full length and
full screen. He's so close, Chet. He's so close
to understanding Transformers Revenge of the
Fallen. I've seen Transformers. But you don't
appreciate it. Carchark, thank you very much
for the $10. The Imperium is an attrition army
that isn't allowed to win by attrition. That
is true. Sometimes. Caleb Collins. I'll go for
it. Thank you for the $2. How's the youngest,
the least tech -savvy, if you mean me? I don't
know. I am the least tech -savvy, though. I'm
pretty miserable with technology. My computer,
for the last year, has been blue -screening once
or twice a month. I've just not done anything
about it. Transformers 2 is peak. Transformers
2 is not peak. You're right. It's not peak. It's
the peak. Transformers 1 and Transformers 3.
The end battle in Transformers 2 is kind of alright.
And some of the jewels where it's like... Testicle
robot. I'll take you all on. Yeah, dude, I don't
care about any criticisms. I see that and it's
like, so this movie's a 10 out of 10. Everything
else just fucking fades away. I am coming. This
is all I can remember now from the recent memes.
I am coming. Let them come. I am auto -potting
it. Alright. So we're nearing the end of the
War of Fort Haros. We're almost there, chat.
I've given a very brief overview. Brief. Enjoy
the seven -hour video on Eli's channel in a few
months' time. It's a howl video. So now it is
time to plan Operation Deathblow. Commissar needs
the aid of Lord Commander Gustavus, Colonel Shajah,
and the Oficio Assassinor. Gustavus agrees to
plan. as long as Colonel Shaja is allowed to
organize it, because Shaja's a smart guy. They
requisition the assassin orb, and in return they
get an ever -soar assassin sent to them. Quite
the exciting news, and a guy who will definitely
do a good job. Shaja rounds up some volunteers
of stormtroopers and pilots, because their mission
is likely one that they're going to die on. Shaja
also volunteers to lead it himself in person.
The idea, there's Red Team and Blue Team. Red
Team. Red Team. Red Team is the Eversaur who
would land 60 kilometers away from the tower
headquarters. Blue Team is the hand -picked Stormtroopers
of the 2378th Stormtrooper Company, and they
were to be flown in by Valkyries of the 71st
Tactical Wing. They were to attack Tau headquarters
in a front -long assault, and these troopers
were not told about the Eversaur. They were just
told to give it everything they got. They knew
they were probably going to die, but what a good
death it would be to die serving the Emperor
in such an important attack. The Valkyries themselves
only had enough fuel for a one -way trip, so
they were to just fly there, do a strafing run,
land, destroy their Valkyries. The pilots were
given survival kits. as a meager hope that they
might make it back. The Eversword arrives in
his, like, stasis cube thing. The tech priests
do their litanies and chants, and they hypno
-suggest him so that he knows what his target
is. Well, it knows what his target is. I shouldn't
even say he's a freaking monster. It knows what
his targets are. It knows what to do. It's equipped
with his sword, narrow gauntlet, and pistol.
and it is sent by a drop pod 60 kilometers away.
Its vital signs turn on, it gets out of the drop
pod, and makes its way. Meanwhile, the dudes
are flying in, and eventually, they land. The
Tau, not expecting a battle, only warned very
recently by, uh, drone things. They occupy defensive
positions, and a battle begins. Shaja leads his
men heroically. and confidently to the buildings
of the mining complex, which holds the command
center, and they quickly take cover in buildings,
and a firefight ensues. As this is occurring,
the Eversaur is stalking into the building, into
the complex. The first Tau to see him is reloading
his gun. He looks up and is tearing straight
into the face of the Eversaur, who then kills
him in a nanosecond. He melted charges, opened
the command center door, jumps through the ladder.
Kills the four Tau inside with his needle gun.
Gets rid of the gun. It's out of ammo. Kills
two more Tau with his gauntlet and sword. Bursts
into the room where the Ethereal is. And he then
gets shot a bunch of times by pulse rounds from
bodyguards. But he survives because he's an Eversaur.
He grabs the Ethereal and pins him to the ground.
But they continue to shoot him. And as he's dying,
he uses his last breath to just laugh. And outside...
Shazia and his guys are fighting, and a massive
explosion blows up the command center. The Tau
have to pause for a second as an ethereal just
died. It's a massive deal. Tau are very sad,
but this quickly turns to being angry, and reinforcements
arrive for the Tau. Shazia and his men are all
killed. No mercy is given. Anvray has been killed.
R .I .P. Over the next few days. Very important.
He doesn't even have a character. I did. I did
a video on Alan Doe and it's my worst performing
video. It's like some ethereal dude. No one cares.
Well, this is not mentioned very much. Oh, Shazza
Ramir is the most important guy who unfortunately
for the Imperials was not in the command center.
He was outside of the command center fighting.
He was wounded. but not killed. Operation Deathblow
almost succeeded. Over the next few days, the
strikes from the cadres paused as they were mourning
the Ethereal's death. But soon, this mourning
turned into anger and vengeance, and the Tau
decided that they wanted to kill all of the humans
left on Tauros. So, Ramir continues to launch
assaults as the evacuation goes into full, as
Operation Deathblow was unfortunately not a success,
and it's time to leave. Hundreds of Lehman Russes
and Camaras are abandoned, equipment is abandoned,
heavy weapons are abandoned, and it's just this
massive, shambling horde of guardsmen running
for their lives for the next, like, day, for
weeks, basically, days and days, back to the
front lines. They're dying of thirst. It sucks.
Commissars are shooting people, officers are
trying to keep order, They're trying to form
rear guards to fight the Tau back, and these
are just destroyed. They're being gunned down.
Yeah, it sucks. But of X Corps, only the 331st
Regiment managed to make their withdrawal in
good order, and for all intents and purposes,
the other four regiments no longer existed. Thousands
of stragglers would make it back, but overall,
they were essentially wiped out. The Cadian 114th
arrived safely, as they were the... mobile regiment,
so unsurprisingly, but they had to abandon their
chimeras at the end of the day. The remaining
Titans extracted without issue, and the surviving
Valkyries of the 23rd Elysians were able to pick
up some people, just whatever troops they could,
high -ranking officers first, and stormtroopers,
and then any surviving Talarn, who were eventually
transported back to then wait at the landing
zone. After 11 days, the first stragglers on
foot arrived. and the majority of personnel equipment
had successfully been extracted, but the Tau
had one last attack to launch before we can close
off Tauros. Now, the landing zone itself for
the Imperials had become a mass of panicked guardsmen,
a teeming horde, as I said. They had survived
the horrific trek through the desert and were
now at the mercy of the Tau. Many of them had
died by thirst. Many of them had been killed
by the Tau. A lot of them were also captured
by the Tau, which they saw as a better fate than
dying of thirst. While this was happening, Captain
Aurelius and his raptors deployed his men once
again to defend the perimeter, so that the last
landing craft could arrive and transport the
men back to the ship. As dawn broke, Chazal Ramir
sought to destroy whatever was left of the Imperium,
and the Tau launched their attack upon the Space
Marines. Their first attack, led by Chazal Ramir
himself, had hammerheads in broadsides, they
pounded their positions, fire warriors in battle
suits, moved in, and they were halted 200 meters
away from the space marine positions as whirlwinds
and Astari's heavy weapons brought about their
destructions. Hammerheads, broadsides, and fire
warriors all lay dead in the sand. From the west
came a second assault with greater numbers. Railguns
again pounded the space marines with a manta
closing in. Captain Cades was leading this one.
He was seriously injured as a railgun round destroyed
a predator tank. and severely injured his upper
body and torso. He was eventually brought back
and interned within a dreadnought to continue
serving the Emperor. Despite this, the space
marines held, and the Tau attack ceased, allowing
the rest of the guardsmen and everyone else to
get off planet. No further pursuit was given
by the Tau, as the Imperials made their warp
jumps. Victory was theirs. The Tauro's campaign
was over. Overall... It cost the Imperium five
full regiments, along with all combat vehicles
within the third and twelfth Talon armored regiments.
The survivors were pooled to create an understrength
third regiment. The 17th and 89th Talon regiments
had ceased to exist, and most of the surviving
men were now Tal prisoners, who would likely
spend the rest of their days laboring in the
Talos mines for the greater good. The remnants
of those regiments... The good guys of 40k, everyone.
Yeah, when the other option is kill you for looking
at the xenos or demons, yes. Chuck them in the
mines, it's fine. It's fine. We're good fellas.
You look at a forge world and tell me those are
the good guys. They don't have emotions anymore.
They've been lobotomized. It's fine. Crazy. Well,
remnants of whatever survived were given to the
331st. What obviously fared the best because
they barely had to see any action. But the now
veterans of the 331st would go on to fight in
other war zones. The 23rd Elysian still had 100
aircraft, but their guardsmen were essentially
annihilated during Operation Comet. They were
reformed by new regiments, new recruits from
Elysia, and would go on to fight again. The 114th
had taken minimal casualties, only losing a few
hundred men, but they had lost 90 % of their
vehicles. They were re -equipped quickly with
chimeras and stationed at the Cadian Gate for
a great time coming soon. Oh, God. Well, guys,
I can't believe we survived that campaign. That's
probably the worst time of our lives over. Abaddon,
they're like, are you sure about that? In this
era of lore, they actually won that fight, to
give them some credit. But then it got taken
away, poor guys. Also, I feel bad. i feel bad
for the elysian drop uh like pilot for the vehicles
it's like off you go let's have a good day and
then it's just like him with an empty cargo bay
with no people in it just like oh it was it feels
bad uh let's see the legio ignatum the titans
had lost one of four crush one of four titans
which was a crushing loss obviously uh in all
four titans seems a little bit small to be calling
a legio. Yeah, yeah. You are a squad of titans.
No, it's still a titan, but... Yeah, I mean,
it's the size of a city. Yeah, but look, if you're
going to call yourself a legio, at least hit,
like, ten. At least hit the double digits. But
also, a titan has, like, a lot of staff. That's,
like, that's a lot of people. Yeah, but it's
still four. I made a cool short on the titan
being killed. You should go watch it on my channel.
You should do that. Do it. So, the casualties,
for both sides, well, for one side, approximately
10 ,000 guardsmen were killed, 15 ,000 were wounded,
20 ,000 were captured, an estimated 350 tanks
were lost, along with over 700 chimeras and 200
artillery pieces. Aircraft losses numbered at
68 out of 78 aircraft. The Imperial Navy in space
had also taken losses as the Tau attacked their
patrols. As ground war raged on, Fleet Admiral
Kodal's invasion fleet had lost their cruiser,
Hammer of Thrace, ripped Captain Aurelia. The
light cruiser, Cerberus, and eight escorts, the
battlecruiser Righteous Power was damaged but
still alive, as was the Black Duke. Both would
require significant work at the Kar -Dunish shipyards.
alongside all those losses the resources lost
upon taros were lost to the imperium forever
and styges eight would suffer shortages and delays
in the days leading to abaddon's black crusade
shout out the tao abaddon's top guy abaddon won
this crusade easy peasy it's about time he won
one of his bloody crusades isn't it enough for
them i must say that oh yeah go ahead the uh
I'm surprised the Imperium didn't do a, well,
if you can't have it, if we can't have it, you
can't have it. I'm pretty sure they would normally
do that. What's down there? A lot of sand. Dead
bodies in sand. Yeah, nuke it, why not? I think
the idea is that they might get to take it back
someday. Because it is a strategic asset for
them. More so than the Tau. But hey, the Tau
are perfect for this planet. They like the hot
climate. Easy peasy. Anyways, the Imperials estimated
that Shazzle Vermeer had led at least 100 Hunter
Cadras, a total of between 8 ,000 to 9 ,000 fire
warriors, upwards of 5 ,000 troops, 8 ,000 human
deserters. Tau losses were, of course, unknown,
but surely were in the thousands. the imperial
fleet also managed to destroy a custodian class
carrier the atho and eight escort vessels and
overall the war for taros had proven disastrous
and costly for the imperium marking perhaps one
of their worst losses of the millennium this
was they got an ethereal i think that's a win
oh yeah okay okay That's their equivalent of
the Emperor, but split into many people. We got
one of them. That's a win. Because the Imperium
losing is apparently invigorating. It brings
me great joy. When the humans die, I happy. Yes,
because I am not a psychopath who can only relate
to people who look like me. I didn't feel bad
for the Imperium. They took so many Ls in this
fight. I felt bad for all of them. It does seem
to be just resounding L after L. An Evisaur got
the Ethereal and then everything but that was
a colossal failure. They're already there. This
was probably the first Full success the Tao had
against the Imperium, successfully pushing them
back without any outside influences affecting
the battle. So it was. Tauros, which is what
the Tao called Tauros, remained, and the Tao
Empire would flourish as settlers from Tao and
Dalith came to populate it, and soon enough,
it was firmly in the grasp of the Empire. For
now, in the foreseeable future, Tauros was the
Tao's... and the Ethereals would cast their gaze
further into the galaxy and spread their arms
once again to add more to the greater good. The
end. Shame that they don't get much Tau lore
anymore, though. That's the punishment. A Tau
campaign novel would be awesome. We must have
more Horus heresy lore. We must bring the heresy
to 40k. This was a very briefly summarized version
of the thing, like I said. Briefly. I will make
a long video with all the numbers and details.
The word brief should not utter in your lips
today. Hang on, don't you say the words I made
a video that's only two hours. Haven't I heard
you say that before? Covering the last one book,
yeah. I started out making like 40, 30 minute
videos and then it just couldn't, it just wouldn't
stop. And then now the last one was like four
and a half hours. And I have an issue. I'll be
like, I was making love the other day. I only
lost seven hours. Yeah. My God, my God, intricate
Felix video was 27 minutes. And there's this,
he's read every book. I've read all of them.
Technically like the last five pages of Slayer,
but I know what happens, but you see, if I finish
that. there's no more gotcha it's jovo i think
i'm hoping that my taros campaign video will
be at least two hours and then hopefully longer
they'd be cool uh i don't know it's gonna be
i need to add like two more pages to it but jesus
if there isn't any more uh don't know we do have
oh so there's caleb collins michael bay should
do a 40k battles please And camera like... He
is a director. He's not a writer. Don't let him
write, please. No, but... It reminds me of that
epic Rap Battles of History song where he's in
it. We haven't forgotten, folks. We haven't forgotten.
If you don't already, you will learn to miss
the days of Michael Bay's filmmaking. Seriously.
So real. It was all practical, at least. And
he tried. Yep. Wotan, thank you for the DKK20.
How old is this lore? It is from 2005. It is
20 years old. God, that's old enough to drink.
When lore was a baby. I was five years old. Jesus
Christ. Wow. Damn. Caleb Collins, 199. Mind Control.
I don't even know. Mind Control is only okay
in Pipikistan. Yeah, no, I understand that. No,
no, no, you don't. Is this some kind of weeb?
It's VTuber nonsense, don't worry about it. Oh,
poor Shane. Is this some kind of weeb nonsense?
I'm too normie to understand. Yes, it is. Oh
dear. Colin, I think this is for you. Tau cringe,
play 2 ,000 points crutes like me and just lose.
You're real for that. Look at this. Metal crute
shaper, baby. An old metal crute shaper. He's
got the hat. I did when I first turned off my
camera at the start. I was looking for a green
hat in a bin where I have a bunch of hats. I
do not own one, unfortunately. Next week, we
have to do one next week. We'll order you a hat,
Colin. I can get a hat. I will say, after reading
this, I will be buying a Tiger Shark AX10. I
don't have enough models, confirmed. I do not
have enough models. There is no such thing. And
I found a new Chinese supplier called War Table
Games. I may order the Tiger Shark from him.
We'll see. The real one is $400, so probably.
uh that's more than my hobby budget i would say
regarding v tubers i feel like i was too i'm
not young enough to like i wasn't there when
the wave happened but i'm also the point like
if i get to 30 and i'm talking about v tubers
does that mean people are concerned for me There's
a point where you get too old and then it's like,
oh, that's funny. And then it goes like, oh,
that's funny. And then people start going, oh,
no. I feel like I'm starting to get to the point
where I'm actually aging out of things that are
the new thing. I'm like, oh, God. We've got one
more donation. I don't know what this means.
Thank you for the two Caleb Collins. I'm not
saying that. What does that mean? What does that
mean? Why do you make us say these things, Caleb?
Don't worry about it. Why? Just don't worry about
it. Well, rounding off today's episode, last
time on the podcast, we guys asked you, who do
you get a drink with? That was the question of
the week. And we have a few good responses from
you guys. We appreciate it very much. The first
one is by at Denny the Witch dash T9 of 9 p .m.
Denny's at 9 p .m. I assume he means. Hashtag
bottoms up. Nemesaur Zandrek. I thought I said
that wrong there. Nemesaur Zandrek. It'd be great.
It'd be great. God damn. I believe in you. It'd
be a great feast. I hope it'd be great at first.
It'll be a great feast. I get to ask a space
granddad all sorts of questions that I might
get coherent answers to. And all the food and
drink would be for me. I just need to remember
to get out before Oberon shows up. That would
be a good answer to the other question of meeting
a 40k character. This one was by atfglassmann,
hashtag bottoms up. I want to drink with Abaddon.
I want to try his home -brewed adrochrome? Adrenochrome.
I heard that it would pair quite nicely with
pizza. Well, the only thing is that's similar
to myod, I think. It's made from, like, I'm pretty
sure one of the activating agents is, like, promethium
runoff. So, like... That's going to burn a hole
in your gut, that stuff. Not metaphorical hole,
literally. And you're going to taste it and go,
there's notes of demon flesh? It's like, yeah,
he goes through it, and the only one who glugs
it down is Leorvine Ucris, who's a world leader,
and he's like, it's quite nice, actually. Paws
himself a second, you're like, I don't know about
that. Not a big fan. He was proud of it. He tried,
all right? I want more hobbies. the hobby. The
next one is by our resident unofficial member,
MrDJBeast. Hashtag bottoms up. Probably Joseph
Bugman or Cetra. Bugman because he might bring
out Bugman's brew to drink with me. In brackets,
I'll probably die but worth it. Yeah, you can
handle that. And we can go for a goblin hunt
after or Cetra because he is the goat. Also,
I will actually be able to hear all of his titles
as we drink. to be fair you can get a bugman's
at bugman's if you go there it's all right yeah
uh i have tried it officially i've been to warhammer
world just tastes like normal beer but you gotta
remember that like dwarves they they drink beer
like water so it's not meant to be like strong
it's just meant to be like it's just beer it's
just whatever you drink all the time all right
well whatever the drink is by the way that's
called like walkstone glow That shit tasted like
ass. I tried a bit of my mate's drink. I'm not
going to lie. Imagine, first of all, you have
the misfortune of... having a watered down Bud
Light. Alright, alright. You are definitely losing
me, I will admit. They're like, it's a Bud Light,
then that's watered down. I get the idea. The
strongest green colouring guy. Honestly. Honestly.
The next one is by at RagingCane88. Hashtag bottoms
up. Azek Ariman. But only because I imagine it
would be the most calamitous kind of The Hangover
shenanigans possible. One of our since Kaifers
came for the same reason. But in this timeline,
I survive slash don't get cursed. And the last
one here by at Gilliman Salondra Cal. Cara video.
Oh my God. Long names. No spaces. Hashtag bottoms
up. I'd go with nail from the inquisitive series.
He's worked with, he's worked with two inquisitors.
He seen a lot of shit and he still goes around
making jokes and living life. I think he's a
great drinking buddy. That is. Harder nail is
an Eisenhorn books. He's like, um, basically
Eisenhorn's muscle. And he's like, he's pretty
much just like. His whole shtick is like, I'm
down for anything. Is he an ex -arbitre or a
serving arbiter? Ex -bounty hunter. Oh, bounty
hunter. I've seen him on the other stuff. He
is old now. He's had rejuvenate treatment, so
he's ridiculously old as a human being, and he's
still ridiculously deadly. He looks really weird,
though. He literally looks like a knotted muscle
of a man. He looks like a bald chimpanzee. He
looks like Phil Mitchell from EastEnders. But
we also have a new question of the week this
week, which is hashtag helper. So the idea is,
what helper CCs would you think would be fun
to put with the Tau? And this can be from any
franchise or setting you like. I think the grunts
from Halo would be a bit of a jolly. just say
oh and then like the space means of just bolting
them to death that'd be funny children's birthday
you know Happening every time they get a headshot.
It'd be hilarious. The life of a grunt is suffering.
Let them be. Apart from that one guy from Halo
Wars 2 who's like a legendary grunt. He's just
like, ah, yes. Aside from that one grunt. What's
the... I mean, it's in -universe, but what's
the... Is it Gretchen? The mini orcs. They are
like grots. What grots are to orcs. I would have
Gretchen unironically just be part of the tower
because it would be hilarious. I'm listening
to one book now and some of them are... There's
a whole thing, they have a shtick about we're
the downtrodden class and we need a communist
revolution. The Red Gobbo. There's a whole book
series. Well, I say book series. Short series,
I think it is. The Red Gobbo. I think one of
the Tau subraces should be the Eldrazi. Crazy.
Crazy. Devour some poor guardsmen. On a similar
note, I think the Cravers would be very good.
I was going to say, the Cravers. Are you sure
they'd be good with the Tau? They'd be good fighting
for the Tau. That'd be funny to watch. It's like
the Kroot. They just look away when they're...
eating people. I could just imagine the diplomat
being sent to the Cravers. Hi! Do you want to
join our empire? Any Endless Space faction would
be cool. You are much more confident in the Watercast's
ability to negotiate with the Cravers than I
am. Send them to give them free worlds to eat.
It's free slaves. I don't know. I guess, yeah,
point them in the right direction and pray they
run out of steam before they run out of people.
Bruh. Ashley, bruh. Caleb Collins still talking
about Pippa. We've got, speaking of which, Caleb
Collins for two. Who loses more, Thanquil or
Arahem? Arahem. Arahem. Arahem. Thanquil loses
but somehow helps him. Yeah, Aramind is going
to be sad after this. Aramind doesn't have a
win. He kind of has a, we're still going. We've
only lost a little bit. You know what, Aramind
reminds me of that uncle you have who's trying
to get into the music career and he's in his
50s and you're like, it's not happening, dude.
Just do something else. Find another hobby. He's
like, no, I'm going to get a number one album.
The downside is like... Thankul has the blessings
of the horned rat, Ahriman has Tzeentch. Now
to be fair, both of those are horrid things to
have blessings from, but the horned rat at least,
you know, he's funny. If you made the horned
rat happy, that's good. If you made Tzeentch
happy... Yeah, but there's nothing Tzeentch loves
more than putting you on an endless quest that
you never get to fulfill. That's his thing. He's
not his friend. All right. I like this donation
already. I'm confused. Okay. Thank you, Colin.
We'll wear a green hat this week. I apologize.
Thank you for the euros. I just realized those
were pounds earlier that I called euros. What
are you going to do? Whoops. I tried to convert
a sanguinary guard into gelt, but the mini caught
fire in the process. Don't ask how. As it is,
gold magic is tumultuous. I get it. I take this
as a sign to stop doing that. Take it as a sign
that you're on the right path. Yeah, for real.
Yeah, do it. Keep going. Do it in close proximity
to a fire. What that means is it's a lore accurate
gelt because he also exploded. All you've got
to make sure is you don't try what Omega on Edge
did, where he puts the lion's cape into a rice
cooker to see if he could dry it quicker. It
did not work. Do not do that. I guess someone
had to know. That picture is amazing. Shanebrother499,
I'm going to start a Redguard revolutionary movement.
Unbelievable. What's that? I'm trying to remember.
It's from the... Saga of Tani the Evil. No remorse.
Who cares? They're just commies. Kill them all.
Wow. The most American response ever. Oh, dear.
Damn. I hope it made sense. I hope it wasn't
too fast. I think I'm more understood than I
didn't. I feel like the person who had 40k lore
injected into my brain thought it would be like,
the campaign is in me now. What I got of it is
another resounding victory for the greater good.
Minus the ethereal, we don't have to worry about
that. The greater good. The greater good. I mean,
even you can spin that in a positive light. Like
it took an Eversaur. Those things can rip through
space marines if they're so inclined. Shout out
to Hot Fuzz. Great film. Last one. Any setting
using the metric system is evil. Pretty real.
I mean, what does it say that even GW themselves,
in spite of being a British company, Use inches
for measurement. That's right. That's true. There's
only one thing you should measure with inches
and it's not distance. Keep it simple, folks.
Anyway. It's how far my hairline is retreating.
Oh, dear. Thank you all for joining us today.
That was a fantastic episode. Thank you very
much, Eli, for all the research, because there
was probably a lot of research going into that
one. And to be fair, you for a few weeks have
been like, is it time? And we're like, not this
week. And then they say, is it time? Not this
week. So we've been teasing you a bit with that.
Sorry. It's forgiven. But that was good fun.
But we hope you all enjoyed this episode, and
we'll see you next time. Bye, everyone. Farewell.
We'll be like and subscribe.