hello ladies and gentlemen boys and girls it's
law crimes and we're never late and there's never
technical issues that threaten to imperil everything
all at once ever hello everyone we are not late
yeah it has never once happened No, never in
the history of humankind. Eli, unfortunately,
will not be with us today. He has the landlord
stuff, I think, and things for you. Beautiful
listeners out there and for the people who are
in our amazing discord. Big shout out to you
guys, because today is another episode of we
tried it once before, which is a. We listen and
we don't judge. We don't judge. How judges in
the first 10 minutes. I know. I really screwed
up. I screwed the pooch, didn't I, last time.
Though we, if you're listening to Law Crimes,
we have a Discord and we ask the people here,
obviously so many familiar names and familiar
faces, we ask you guys a question in the Discord
because we needed your help. We needed to answer
the question of... Basically, who is the best
and who is the worst characters in all of Warhammer?
So this is not specific to 40K, Horrors, Heresy,
all that stuff. I'm talking everybody can get
it. Everyone throwing hands. And today we're
gonna hear your responses and read them out obviously
in the main video for people who are not for
the live the live gang We will you'll have your
shout on screen and everything. We really appreciate
you guys Representing and there was a lot of
similar answers. So some of them may May repeats
have not necessarily been included but people
who wrote some people were very passionate and
um we really appreciate the vitriol and the love
that um was given in there i think was you know
straight into it basically though because we
also have by the way i've got some i recorded
a bunch of footage because of the new prestige
system and i thought that colin made such a good
point last week of going oh my god how's messing
up a lot of dodges so i'll just put my footage
here instead playing as a heavy who doesn't have
to dodge because dodging is not a factor you
just have a melt again can i just point out me
and andy did not coordinate so i also recorded
the space marine 2 footage and i played bulwark
and i i was holding it down i'm not gonna lie
i had to warm up but i'm holding it down and
i'm here so i will just point out all of this
is on obsolete uh absolute not obsolete absolute
i think so it's quite tough but it's good fun
i'm pro gamer right uh who's starting off with
uh the the the options today that we've been
supplied. I'll let it rip. And also, I think
I'm going to murder the person for the last one.
I think I'm going to find that person in real
life. But that's for later. But no, it's okay,
Colin, because we listen and we don't judge,
guys. Today, we are not judging. We are simply
discussing, getting feelings out there. This
is a safe space for people to really, you know,
this is the highs and the lows. hmm how i'm full
of hatred unfortunately so uh you know it's just
gonna have to be how it'd be uh but the uh the
first one we listen we don't judge uh from ran
uh hot take vulcan's kind nature and generosity
has created more suffering and misery for his
sons than he could have thought as the galaxy
often loves to turn that nature against them
to make them suffer and lead vital resources
for largely symbolic actions. Wow. Ran, are you
calling Vulcan a wet light? I think he's calling
him naive. A naive little boy. Damn. Kinda right?
Kinda? Nah, I'm gonna disagree. You need one
nice person. I see. I'm... I'm trying to figure
out how to say this in a way that doesn't come
across as overly dismissive. But the best I can
think to say is the attitude of you are nice,
therefore you're wasting your time is making
me think of the people who go... Superman's a
boring character because he doesn't kill anyone.
Oh. You are kind of... Murderfest at all times
does not make you smart or resourceful. It just
makes you an asshole. We have Omni -Man now.
It's fine. Thank Mark. Thank Mark. I think...
i i honestly agree though with you connor about
like because i like superman but it's also is
it oddly placed in 40k in a sense of you know
how like i'm what's the animation that came out
with where like the uh the salamander guy spares
the uh the imperial yeah um animation project
and then um and then turns out they're jeans
dealers oh the the well no it's that that one
he saves the family but then eventually they
just get hunted down by the imperium anyway because
the ones who don't some don't survive the escape
of the necrons and then like the guard are going
through some woods and there's just like the
little girl left and they're like well bang oh
she's gone it was all futile in the end oh well
it's kind of the it's kind of on point for that
one there i think it in a way you know Was the
guy's name? I can't remember. Sakan. Sakan. He
was very kind and sparing. And then it was obviously
in 40K, it's like a weaponized against them in
such a fashion. And there's the bit where a Kriegsman
who's gone mad is attacking him. He's kind of
like, stop that. This is bad. And then he's like,
oh, I see. And then he just murders them all.
So you can only push a salamander too far. It's
like they are space marines. Let's not forget.
Eldar too. I don't know. It's like the... I don't
know. I guess it's just like when someone shows
mercy and they call that like a waste. It's like,
we'll just murder them. It's like, well, you
know, that is murder. I'm sorry. Yes. If you
would like to put a price on human life, maybe
there are ways to do it, but I think calling
them stupid and wasteful for not wanting to think
with the bolter first and the brain never is,
I wouldn't say that's correct. Does it cause
them hardship? I'm sure it does, but that's the
point. I think there's valid things on all sides
here. It's a good start, though. It's a good
start. To be fair, it could be worse. You could
be a lamenter. And they're trying to do the right
thing, and they do get punished for it way more.
Yeah. They've got their own special little hell.
Now, I do believe the next one is right up someone's
alley here, Colin, if you would be so kind as
to... Oh, sure. I'll kick this one off, too.
The Holy Priest of Spaghetti. That is a fun name.
It is good. Best character, Thanquil. Justification,
he's Thanquil. He's the horned rat's greatest,
goofiest, most self -sabotaging soldier, and
he can be no other way. Worst character, Thanquil.
Justification, Skaven, and he's the horned rat's
greatest soldier. You know, I appreciate you
covering all your bases there. For the law expert
on Fan Call somewhat, what would you say is the
best and the worst thing he's ever done? The
worst thing he's ever done? God. There's so many
layers I'm trying to unpack right now. His little
beady rat heart. What's the greatest and worst
of that? I'm going to go with accidentally summoning
Scarbrand and then just leaving the area. He
just left. He just completely made it not his
problem. Is that the best and worst thing he's
ever done? That's the thing. There is no difference
for me for Thankful. Everything he does is horrible,
but also great. Does he kill anyone interesting
in the end times? He doesn't really do too much.
He does, I mean, indirectly get the entire Council
of Thirteen killed. So, I mean, there's that.
What are we talking about best? Are we talking
like best for himself or best for everyone who
isn't a Skaven? Best at the end times when it's
already going down the drain? he did in age of
sigmar flood half of skaven blight and killed
like a lot of rats i don't know you know i don't
think there was specifics but a lot of rats so
i mean hey it's kind of right up his alley though
uh And what was the next one we had? I think
I don't really judge that one. I think it's a
perfectly valid. There's no judgment on that
one. It's perfect. He is the best and he's the
worst. I have nothing to judge. You're just right.
Now I've seen the next one, Colin, and I've already
got feelings. Would you please enlighten the
people? This is a... You don't... This is a...
Interesting one. The worst character in Warhammer
is Athenir Whiteleaf from Elf Slayer. Almost
fucked up worse than Magnus. Thank God his bodyguard
and Gotrek and Felix were there to do all the
work. Now... Can you explain how he messed up?
Yeah, for the people who don't know, how he messed
up. So, without too much spoilers, both because...
we will cover it eventually on this channel and
you should read the book yourself. Dark elf pussy
got me acting a fool. Sorry, what? The Drussy,
what? The Drussy had this man thinking unwise
and making poor decisions. And Agachka and Felix
book resulted in it, in this man's poor decisions.
Imagine the most pathetic private school -esque
boy ever. This is the vibe he gives off. I hated
this character so much. There's very few characters
in Warhammer you just legitimately want to slap
them across the face. Eidolon could take it.
I could throw hands at Eidolon, but this guy
as well. And his poor bodyguard is just like...
His poor bodyguard is so just like... He swore
to defend him. And he's just like, I fucking
hate you. You're so useless. I will say at the
end of the book, again, not too many spoilers.
He definitely redeems himself compared to, you
know, Magni magic. He's got it. There is a, there
is a very. I don't know, maybe it's just the
line he says, but the specifics of it kind of
make me go, damn, man, that's fucking rough.
You could have been a lot worse. Is he an absolute
shitheel for 90 % of the book? Yes. Yes, without
question. But he does kind of save it at the
end with something. Again, no spoilers. It touches
my heart a little bit. But for every page of
that book before that, yeah, that motherfucker
should have gotten beamed in the head with a
brick. And the next one there, Colin, is that...
I think we've got quite a few to go through,
by the way, people. Some people want no essays.
I don't think this one is much of a hot take.
I think most people are going to agree with you.
But DonkeymanUSA, professional hater. I hate
John Germanicus. Not only is he a shoehorned
ass -pull motherfucker, every time he opens his
mouth, it's a damn soliloquy. He never shuts
up, and then space best is thankful. So true.
It just reminds me of a fact, like, every time
if you're reading, like, the End and the Death
books, and it's like... oh my god horace and
the emperor gonna fight you know i've been waiting
my whole life for this moment scene switch to
john grammaticus and it's like it's so annoying
narrative whiplash also in the audio version
he sounds weird like he's the weirdest accent
he's like i can't speak to people like that it's
like it's like not american but it sounds like
me attempting to speak an american accent it
sounds horrible it's like american it's american
sitcom vibe you know hey there guys i'm just
a normal american accent man like what the hell
is that what is even have we met or spoken to
anyone who likes this character um i have Spoken
to Louise about this and she says she likes him
and I say, you're insane. That's not allowed.
Be gone into the lore dungeons for your bad takes.
Does she like him or does she just accept him?
I think she likes the character. And I did confirm.
I was like, hold on. Like as in not tolerate.
And she was like, no, I like the character. I'm
like, well, you are wrong. So naughty. Bad. one
person one singular person i yeah no i don't
i don't have i have zero judgment for this i'm
not you know i i feel like um like everyone i
feel like um balan scroll in the ahsoka uh series
where he goes like i like the idea of it Not
the real thing. I was like, yeah, the idea of
perpetual immortal humans. Yeah, it'd be cool.
And then I got weird Eldrad -Ulthran assassination
whoopsie storyline. I don't know what's going
on. You got the Fonz from Wish. I was like, what
is this? What's going on? Hey, it's me. Oh, this
guy again. Every time I was having fun in the
end of the death and he turns up, I'm like, oh,
go away. Go away, please. I like how everyone
hates him in the book as well. Everybody hates
him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone hates him in
his books. Everyone hates him out of his books.
Why are you here? And he's still alive. Look,
you know what? Everyone, every John Grimanticus
hater, just go read Unremembered Empire because
every scene he's in, he just spends most of his
time shitting himself because Eldrad is tormenting
him. So you know what? There's a shining light.
I just find it really funny because every bit
I'm reading in that book with John Grammaticus,
he's just going through it and he's just in abject
misery. He's like, it was a while since I was
reading through it. but he's like he's in misery
from like just constantly moving he's in misery
because he hasn't eaten food in like a month
he finally sits down at an inn and then he turns
around and eldrad is just looking at him well
the thing is it's just the um i can't remember
which book specifically but there's the one where
he kills vulcan with the fulgurite and he dies
in the process and he and he loses his he loses
his perpetual if you could call it that. So he's
like, if he dies again, he's properly gone. And
at that moment, I was Ronin slash Hawkeye from
Endgame going, don't give me hope. I wanted him
to die so bad, and he's still here. He's like,
you got through the Siege of Terror alive? Why?
You should be gone. So John Grammaticus haters.
read Unremembered Empire. He loses his immortality
and Eldred keeps stopping time to make fun of
him. At least he yelled at Horus really loudly
and he sent him flying. That was fun. Is he the
Dragonborn? No, he had Anuncia. Anuncia is kind
of like the Thume. Oh no, he lost Colin. Oh no.
He was just like, I'm out of here. I'm not doing
this. Oh, well. Well, Colin's gone. Shall we
do some donations? Yes. The technical difficulties.
I have no idea what's going on, folks. First
one from Set. There he is. Hey, Colin. I have
no idea what just happened. It just said... That's
one of those... Dude, I got Fus -Ro -Dot out
of the chat. Yeah, exactly. First donation from
Set. Hypothetical for the gang. If you could
make your own Dogs of War unit, what would you
make, race and all? It's like a mercenary company.
Dogs of war? Is that fantasy or fantasy? Yeah,
they're like mercenaries in fantasy. I'll have
a think. I kind of already, like, they already
probably exist, though. I just want more ogres.
But, like, something where, like, it's all kind
of, you know, was it Greece's, was it Goldtooth?
He's on the chair. I want a full unit. of like
ogres on chairs or something maybe in wheelchairs
because that would be like scooters in wheelchairs
well like the the oh you know my military is
like a better version of it like the something
like it's just really intimidating and they're
like but they're also not having to get up you
know just when the ogres are not running to you
towards you but like rolling slowly forward menacingly
i would make a renown yeah i would make a renowned
ogre war band but where hal wants them to you
know be the the entire army of creases i don't
care i just want to be able to i just need them
to have an acceptable name to say without sounding
unbelievably homophobic um like gold man eater
the second syllable of gold is a word i cannot
say on the internet So I would like them to fix
that. I like a warhound unit of skeletal gnomes.
Gnomes? What are they called? Halflings. Who
are like, hey, we didn't want to follow Nagash
because we're still hungry even though we're
undead and they fight for food. And then it just
kind of passes through them and that's their
lore. The gnomes. Harassers of kneecaps. Yeah,
we need gnomes in Warhammer. Also... Two from
the Green Hat Man. Colin will wear a green hat
in three weeks. It's two weeks. You actually
had to buy a green hat. I feel like I'm obligated
now. You only got two weeks. Also, with the four
gods in the back. Lefty on the central lock.
Rider down and Jack Daniels. Both feet floor
of the pedal. Cock on the wheel. Cock on the
wheel. is that is that a different version of
cacovan what's going on or is it just a rooster
that you've procured for the occasion one of
the two the stream lives yes that's right somewhere
the stream lives stop stop shame we've insulted
balkans immediately first as well yeah donkey
man usa stream late due to how gooning on the
machine spirits you know it what is this thank
grace the silliest clown that you were the five
1750 bce youtuber colin be like iona sears copper
sucks why did why did you make me an ancient
drama youtuber oh my god Angry homunculus for
£5. Stream late due to Hal not putting in the
airbrush medium first. Hang on, got to fill the
character limit. Kill Mame, burn, kill Mame,
burn, kill Mame. Thank you, man. Appreciate that.
Nice. Shalaxy's wettest gripper for two. Mayhaps
a sensual gritty for the lad? Maybe one day.
How would one even do that? I don't know. Oh,
God. Okay, 10 euros. Last time I submitted something
to this, Andy actually made me change my mind
on the missing Primarchs. Hal spent five minutes
calling me stupid in brackets. I did sub and
then unsubbed to Hal, by the way. Colin did fun
facts. Brilliant. Remember, folks, it's not a
law crime stream unless you subscribe and then
unsubscribe from the Amber King. It's now ritual.
Oh, no. Have fun. I'm not reading that one. Colin.
He's designated boy with it. Hell yeah, brother.
Did Eli get lost leaving Loompa land? Also, happy
birthday, Colin. It's still not his birthday.
Technically. By that logic, Colin is now 50 years
old with the amount of birthdays he's had this
year. I am. At least like 40. People are very
generous, man. Oh, Caleb Collins. Safe space.
Think of the Demonculaba now, you Brit. Now I
am. This is like when people say your breathing
is now manual. Sorry, everyone. I just realized
that's horrible. Your breathing is now manual.
Your left foot is slightly itchy. Your tongue
is not resting normally in your mouth. You don't
know if you want to close your teeth or keep
them open. What else is there? Go pee -pee. uh
rayleigh for 10 bucks able to catch a stream
after like two years of watching law crimes thank
you brother nice uh colon your passion made me
unashamed to love elves and now i'm considering
old world my bank account hates you guys i love
you i mean i appreciate the boeing um profile
pic yep wouldn't go prof dude all around bangers
fin bot 24 for 5 finally get to see a live stream
in its five seconds per frame glory yep you know
the video after is much better quality yeah screen
sharing it's a bit clunky but it'll look better
on the remaster if you can't watch if you can't
watch the stream without the frames you don't
deserve the frames i think colin needs to this
is this is up your alley Shalexi's wettest gripper.
Thank you for the 20 Canadian dollary do's. Thank
you, brother. I think Malkador the hero is a
good contender for the worst guy ever. He's very
pragmatic and shit, but my heebies are gb'd if
he looks at me. Best characters. Vulcan because
I'm biased to hammers. XOXO. my tippy wet tis
glossy. Boy, there was some actual opinions and
character thoughts going on there, and then that
last line happened. This reminds me of the picture
of the horse of Game of Thrones, where it's drawn
badly towards the end. Yeah, yeah. The hind legs.
I mean, Alcador is probably real unpleasant to
be around, though. Oh, yeah. He's a spy master
for... The bloodiest, cruelest regime imaginable.
I do not think he's a nice person to be around.
And he has a pet, rebirthed, half -elf, half
-human prisoner in his personal quarters who
he can unload all his trauma on. It's kind of
weird. Wotan, DKK, for 50 -something. DKK, something.
For Colin, I want to read Gottrick and Felix,
but can't find the physical books anywhere. Any
tips for where I can find them? Uh, I would advise,
uh, that depends on how you would like to read
them. If you would like the omnibuses, uh, I
would check, you know, black library every now
and again, see if there's a physical print you
can order, uh, going to games, workshops, stores
is always, uh, something to do. And I believe
I got the first omnibus of gotcha can Felix at
just a, a Barnes and noble. So just, uh, check
out some bookstores. And if none of that works,
and you don't mind reading the stories individually,
you'll have to technically buy more books because
they're separate and not in the omnibuses. At
a half -price books near me, I found like 10
Gotrick and Felix books. So you might have to
do some diving, but you can probably find them.
One of those places will surely have them. and
if that fails there's also audible for the audiobooks
or kindle for the uh basically if you get a kindle
you can also get a lot of warhammer books that
would like you check amazon it's like if you
want to buy the actual book it's 500 pounds and
then you go oh kindle it's four quid there is
that as well uh let's see donkey man usa do you
want this one how It would be a Domain USA for
the five bucks. It would be very funny if Narek
of the Wordbearers rocketed into 40k to tag team
Lorgar with Corvus. Yeah, where did that plotline
go? It went to end of the death. I know, I can't
remember how that resolved. The last thing that
ever happens to him is he's sniping someone in
the Siege of Terror for like a paragraph, and
then that's it. It's like, what? That was it?
Yeah, I assumed that would be a scouring thing
then, but... yeah i was like i just thought like
where'd it go after that like it's just kind
of yeah he's like oh i'm gonna go kill horrors
or war god or something it's like just the uh
the the notion of they could make his own book
called prodigal son it's like that's perfect
just do that have him do his vendetta it'd be
great um yeah The hate of John made reading his
moments better from Caleb Collins. Also from
Caleb Collins. Ooh -woo, nuzzles you. Ooh -woo,
magic curse for the elf simp. Wow. Thanks, Caleb.
I appreciate it. That was definitely cursed.
I'll give you that. It was even more cursed the
way I read it, and I don't apologize. Setful199
says, Colin, knock it off. I'm at work and breaking
down. Jesus. What? What did I do? I don't know.
Breakdown, breakdown. RT, five bucks. Most beloved
character, Boingob. Reason, Boingob. See, that's
true in our hearts. That's true in our hearts.
Yes. Boy, this is... I do not like this. I'm
not a fan. It's yours. Chaotic Gnome. Thank you
for the five New Zealand dollar. New Zealand,
hell yeah. I want to stroke Colleen's beard.
Worst character, Big E. Long -lived, but no foresight.
Best character, Annie Skaven, because I like
gremlin rats. Also, Mpreg Colin Cummin. Wow.
Boy, that was... I thought my internet legacy
was bad. Hey, I don't want to be mean, but have
you considered blowing up? Damn. Just explode.
Andy, Before we go, should we get to the next
one on the list then? There might be a few more
donos, but it might be good just to get to the...
Is this one... Koyonis? Koyonis? Sorry, I butchered
your name. This will get me executed for heresy,
but I think the worst character is Big E himself.
Oh, there we go. Granted, part of it is because
of multiple people writing his character, but
everything wrong with 40k comes back to him.
He treated some of his sons like shit, resulting
in them joining Horus. A lot of the issues were
caused by him keeping secrets unnecessarily.
As an example of this, he's not telling the Primarchs
about chaos and its dangers. I can understand
not telling the general public, but his generals
who are leading the campaigns to reclaim the
galaxy should know. Fulgrim would have been far
less likely to fall if he'd known about chaos
after all. And finally, he's written incredibly
inconsistently. From what I know, he's been written
to be a... as powerful as the story needs rather
than with consistency. Again, this is the multiple
writer issue. Now then, for the favorite character,
it's Gunnar Jørgen. I don't know why, but the
way he's written in the books made him my favorite
character, especially with the audiobooks. I
guess it's due to how loyal he is to Cain and
how Cain has absolute trust in Jørgen watching
his back. Ah, that's a nice one. Apart from the
beginning. So I think we can all agree. Big E's
got some issues. One or two issues. He's not
quite perfect. Does that make him a bad character
or a flawed character? That's an interesting
take on it. I mean, I wouldn't say there's even...
I can't judge that one even in any sense because
that's actually an opinion held by quite a lot
of people. They just don't like the Emperor.
I think he makes a valid point of he's as powerful
as everything and then suddenly he's neutered.
so it's a bit like although yeah whenever i think
of the bit though when he goes to is it moloch
and he sees like the future that's going to be
happening to humanity when he gets like all of
his powers it's just that matthew mcconaughey
image of him smoking a cigarette just like that
that's the emperor at that moment it's like i
could have been a nice person i told jokes i
was a bit fun and then i was just like Right,
okay, that's the threat. Yeesh, time to become
an asshole. Yes, it's like, gotta do what I gotta
do, which is his whole justification of like,
no, bro, you don't understand. This grimdark
setting could have been worse. Could have been
worse. What, than this? Yeah, could have been
worse. This isn't as bad. It's not as bad by
much, but it's not as bad. It's really hard to
write a character who is basically godlike, though,
as in... they're supposed to be kind of unknowing
in some sense so I get like why like a lot of
the like there's somewhat inconsistency which
I think to be fair towards the end of like particularly
Siege of Terror they do wrap it up kind of nicely
in a bow in a sense of like yeah he's meant to
be this like uncaring being but like even Malkador
senses like there's a weakness in him and he
actually kind of does consider the Primarchs
like his sons and like it's a fatal flaw rather
than it's a um you know so i don't like poorly
written sort of thing like basically obviously
i think malkador rightly points out like he didn't
really have to make the prime marks like as powerful
as they are it's a thing of like he didn't necessarily
want to be alone in you know like there's like
a thing of like when a character is so powerful
like they don't want to be the only one like
that and i think the primarks are sort of that
version of They're kind of as powerful. They
would, you know, one day be as powerful as him
in some sense. So it was like, ah, I could make
them just like kind of super humans, like just
Astartes, but he was like, nah, let's go for,
you know, there's, there's juices up. There's
just these bad boys up a little bit more, you
know, why not? A few more roid, a few more roid
treatments. Yeah. Let's not, let's not have any
hero worship or God worship in my Imperium. And
I know I'm already clad in gold armor, but why
don't I make like a bunch of demigods? i'm sure
there'll be no repercussions at all why not it's
a bit of fun it's a bit of fun we did do a we
did do a kyphos cane episode so people want to
go check that out for uh jurgen law but colin
could you briefly explain maybe in a few short
sentences the character of jurgen for those for
the crazy people who maybe have never heard of
this guy jurgen is not only the most loyal commissar
assistant you could ever ask for but he is also
the galaxy's smelliest man And I'm pretty sure,
yes, that includes Mortarion. It just smells
like unfiltered ass. But my God, is he a good
man. And to be fair, I think in the audiobooks
he has a West Country accent. I think he's like,
all right there. I'm Jürgen. How's you? Oh, you
having a good day? His most common line is, I'm
coming, Commissar. Which is hilarious. It reminds
me of the, you remind me, Commissar, of it. Is
it Fear Factor? The clip where the guy, like,
he's in the room, it's black, and the guy's like,
smells like ass. And he goes, ding. Correct.
And Jürgen is hilarious. He's so not with it,
but he's also, he's not as dumb as you'd think.
No, he's got a, there's one short story that
follows him and it's, you know, there's a little
bit more going on in Jürgen's head than you might
think. Not that much more, but a little bit more.
He's like a lovable old puppy that turned into
an old dog that is addicted to porn mags. You're
basically saying he's a smelly rescue dog. He's
still smelly, but he's always smiling and happy.
And he bites anyone who tries to hurt me, so
that's good. Yeah. Part of the reason he's happy
is because he's cranking his hog at every moment
he has a chance. His best ability. Tugging the
stinky hog. When crisis came. Once the room cleared,
Jurgen comes in and people are just like, they
hold their breath. And he doesn't have to be
pulling his pud to get people out of there. Pretty
prompt. It's like, ah, just his presence is enough.
Like, no. Meeting adjourned. No thanks. Also,
he's pretty damn deadly as well. Pretty damn
deadly. I'll be right back, fellas. There was
a dog going berserk upstairs. Speaking of dogs.
He's ongoing mental. Andy, there's the next one
there, Andy. Is this one from Set? Yes. King's
Strongest Hammer. Worst character is Angron.
Not because of his story, but he isn't a character.
He is an event that happens. As for best, I think
Ibran Gond is a great character. If someone very
boneheaded, if some very boneheaded decisions
from time to time, but genuinely did care about
the people under him, and it shows. For fantasy,
the worst character, I believe, is I think Wulfric
the Wanderer. Because there's so much to give
him but feel so little. As for the best, I think
it's Maxwell Schreiber. Got trick and Felix in
brackets. I don't know how to spell it. He's
quite interesting, but just a mage surrounded
by powerful people and then eventually becoming
extremely powerful in his own right. So, yeah.
I don't really know about the fantasy characters
much, but can't argue with the other ones. I
would like to say this man has incredibly valid
opinions. angron is kind of just he is not a
character anymore angron is just a challenge
ibrahim gaunt is um again i've only done a little
bit of gaunt's ghost but i know he's quite well
beloved uh wolfric the wanderer is in fact like
the character who everyone is like he's surface
level amazing and then as a character i'm just
like oh is that puppy It is puppy. It is puppy.
We have dog. We have dog on screen, people. Dog,
dog, dog, dog, dog. And what was the last one?
Oh, and Max, obviously, the favorite character,
Colin, you missed, was Max Schreiber, which,
yeah. I like that. I like that. It's a Max enjoyer.
He is pretty goaded. Pretty damn. I mean, people
want to know more about him. We have Godric and
Felix episodes. In fact, we should probably do
a compilation of all the episodes soon so people
can get caught up to date on that one. He is
unfortunately in the cuck chair, but he is still
cool. Oh, dear. He does just watch from the sidelines
while Felix is tearing it up, unfortunately.
Oh, Hal, you're going to love this next one.
Is this from Vulcan? Yep. Oh, I see why. Vulcan
says, worst character in 40k, I would say Ahriman,
due to the inability of his narrative to be able
to progress and his inconsistent power scaling
as the greatest sorcerer. Though this may be
more to the fact that his books are a pain to
get through and logistically not much anything
actually happens in progression. Best in 40k,
tie between Fabius Bile and the lion, in brackets,
son of the forest lion for me right now. Lyle's
a good shout. And also Ariman is trash. I've
said it. We listen and we don't judge, but I
wish to disagree very, very strongly on one thing.
Ariman in the horror's heresy. I dig it. Cause
that's Graham McNeil is, is in charge of that
part. And I liked the whole Ironman story of
basically him being like, you know what? kind
of sucks like he like comes to terms with it
but he's also like i have nothing else uh ariman
in the 40k novels by john french he would also
say he's a very good author john french but he's
totally right like it just goes in circles man
like like there's a thing of like ironman's the
most powerful sorcerer ever and then like he
never gets to flex i mean He never never flexes.
Do you know who wrote the book? Darius Hinks.
Because he's a sorcerer -esque character. His
books are great fun. Whale of a time. Lots of
different species and plot points. But then Ahriman
is just kind of stodgily like, I've just got
to bring the rubric back. Got to reverse the
rubric. Got to try a new rubric. Stop my brothers
being made of sand. I get it. Can we have like...
Maybe an adventure that isn't just, I've got
to find a way to reverse the rubric. Can you
smile for once in your life, you boring asshole?
Yeah, exactly. The first Ironman 40K book is
good. I like that one. Because it's a whole,
he's basically run away from it. And only to
the very end of that story does he actually like,
you know what? I actually don't give up. And
he gets his power back in some sense. After that,
it really is like, it's always been the problem
of like, it's never really first person perspective
from like that point on much. So I remember just
kind of like this figure who's like walking around
being like, we're doing this thing next. It's
like, why are we doing that thing next? Hmm,
reasons. Like it literally is that. Because.
Although. Even Mike is in the chat saying he's
cooler than Kion, though. I prefer Kion. I think,
as Skandor, Kion is a better character. He's
more interesting. Sorry. I like him. Just give
me the Iron Man plot. I can fix him. Please.
I can fix him. He's okay. Oh, dear. That was
painful, though. Should we mention the next one
from Onacon? I won't say a specific character,
but the entire concept of perpetuals and literally
everything they have tainted. The entire idea
is very cool, but done so vastly differently
and really just total BS. It removes the sense
of stakes. Vulcan, John, Big E, anyone who is
one is a total burning shit bag. I don't care.
You have infinite plot armor, so you're not interesting
in the slightest. For best, it's Conrad Kurz.
I'm joking. It's Angron. Interesting. He's an
amazing... He's an amazing, tragic, and compassionate
character who should have gotten so much better.
So many things he says are right. It's hard not
to justify why he's literally the best character
ever written. Even when it's a gibbering slop
pile, he always shines out. To literally quote
right from Betrayer, you kept that mule Corferon.
Russ had his kin friends. The lion kept Luther.
...brothers and foster fathers. Saved and raised
into the Legion ranks, but not me. Not Angron,
no. Did the Emperor teleport his gold -wrapped
custodians down to help me in my army? No. Did
he free the warhounds and order them to battle,
fight alongside me? No. Did he save my brothers
and sisters the way he spared the honoured Scion's
closest kin? The way he honoured Cor Feron? No,
no, and no. No mercy for Angron. Angron the Oathbreaker.
Angron the Betrayer. He truly utterly deserved
better and should be everyone's favourite character.
I disagree, but fair enough. He's cool. He's
cool. But the only trouble is, as someone already...
I was only going to say that someone's already
kind of mentioned him and Khan are just kind
of forces of nature now, but at least Khan has
moments where he has, like, semblances of sanity
that creep in, and he's more like a... villain
of the week but hang on just he's this big monster
guy now he's a big boobly scoobly guy that goes
and hits people i have two thing two things i
feel like one i i feel like it's pretty easy
to agree with uh he didn't deserve what he got
i don't i don't think anyone deserves to have
nails jammed in their brains when they're a toddler
you know i feel that's a that that's a pretty
easy cause to rally behind you know wow getting
political and law crimes i'm sorry i'm just gonna
say it don't jam nails in a toddler's brain i'm
sorry back in the old day before all this woke
stuff we could jam as many We can't have anything
now. It's fine with Snorri Nosebiter, but you
can't do it to a toddler. I don't know. It seems
a bit... Back in my day, we used to climb mountains
to get to school. We could also put nails in
each other. Back in my day, we used to eat broken
glass for sustenance. Kids these days. The other
thing that makes me think of is that I think
if... I feel like you're kind of missing the
point when it, if people like when you, when,
like when people talk about how the, the like
chaos characters kind of lose character once
they fall to chaos. I mean, that's the point
though. Like that's the thing with Angra. Like,
yeah, he stops being interesting because he is
damned. He is a demon. same for magnus same for
lorgas well not well yeah kind of lorga same
for all of them like fulgur magnus magnus has
moments where he's like i'm gonna bring sort
of arius back to the material realm there's bits
where he's in books and he has like weird he's
clearly lost his mind and he has weird interactions
fulgrim's a bit of a crazy fella in the books
he's involved with even with fabius biles stuff
Mortarion is a petty bish. But Angron is just...
And that's all you kind of get from him. And
I get why. It is the worst with him. But it is
like... I'm trying to figure out how to word
it. It's like... It's true to form of his character.
They've all reached their character arc. It's
like the arc is finished. They have fallen to
chaos. The horse heresy is over. They're kind
of done developing his characters because they
have achieved Demon Primarchhood. We've kind
of... We've hit the end of the road. I'm afraid
that it's going to... Yeah, it's over now. And
that's why we'll never get Perturabo back in
the setting, guys. He's hit Demon Primarch. We
can't do anything else with him. He's gone. It's
over, boys. It's over. I think really only one
that escapes that is Mortarion slightly. He's
kind of almost... the same like even play in
the dark imperium trilogy he's like because he
resists uh chaos in some sense he's not he's
he's not fully either he's fully in but he's
not fully in so yeah he still has potential for
character something he's just obviously he's
like he's too far in to like change his mind
he's like well i can't change my mind i could
but he won't and there are like like one of the
ones that's kind of a laugh is in lucas uh not
lucas's book lucas in uh stormcaller which is
um you know stormcaller's book he has a face
off with magnus and magnus is being all machiavellian
and he's all like ah i've got i stole one of
your spells from your library from the blue scribes
yeah and he's like a bargain dog no no no no
i'm lucas And there's the bit where it's like,
oh, okay, give that back and I'll let you and
your mates run away from this portal. So he gives
him it back. And it was just like, it wasn't
a spell. It was just like some piece of paper
that he had on him. And then Lucas is doing this
as he runs through the portal with his mates
all cackling to themselves. And you can have
those moments where like those Primarchs can
have moments where they interact, but Angron
is somewhat damned to be like. unless you can
strain him somehow, which would be very difficult,
you're not really going to get much conversation
out of him, which is a bit of a shame. There's
only one bit. It was in the Angron book that
came out just before 10th came out. And it says
like when he Korn empowers him and he like splits
the world in two with the one strike ends up
killing him. And it says for like for one peaceful
moment, the nails don't bite. And he's like sitting
there and he's just like. And it's like, oh,
damn, man. That's his equivalent of a cigarette
after having sex. He's never been free of the
nails, apart from that one time. So it's like,
damn, man. That's tragic. My boy. Sad. And then
Angron went for a moment before going back to
being a madman. That's quite fun. I think there's
a few more donos, though, before we move on to
the next section. We do have a few donations.
First one from Clean Yourself. Clean Yourself,
folks, for 10. Best character, Ickit. Now, Ickrit.
Ickrit. Ickit Claw. Ickrit. NickNack3587 for
10 bucks. Thank you, man. Good to see you, Boinks.
Hot take. Worst guy is Fulgrim for people. In
brackets, Eli. Thinking he's even a nice guy,
even though he's been the worst for 500 times
longer. uh best is gotrek for being a deep character
in a small shell that is true you know small
short yeah you know fulcrum has kind of been
the worst for far longer than he's been tolerable
not if you just say good he was i you know what
i recall i did a uh recent fulgrim video i took
that on amber king but i had to say like rereading
all his stuff he's always been an like even from
his like oh yeah yeah early great crusade book
it's all up it's all the facade about me like
whenever you read something about fulgrim being
like noble and like you know all that stuff i
feel like it's either a one -sentence blurb or
it's talking in past tense. Yeah, or it's debatable.
Or it's an arguable point. He was only nice because
it's supposedly like the perfect being would
be nice, not that he actually feels like being
nice to people. He's kind of an arse. He's an
actual arsehole. this one's very up your alley
colin with the profile pic of uh hell yeah nova
box thank you for the five perhaps the real best
character was the friends we made along the way
oh that's sweet that's nice set for 199 the breathing
thing colin it stopped me dead colin breathing
I'm sorry. I thank you for the donut. I'm still
confused. I think this was in reference to whether
he was just like manual breathing and stuff.
Oh, that. Yeah. You know that. Jesus Christ.
Your throat is itches, but you can't clear it
deep down enough to scratch the itch. Yeah. Colin
will wear a hat, a green hat in two weeks. If
get my hands on Mephiston, the keeper of secret
feet tongue kiss is the least worst thing that'll
happen. He'll be an inch man after the first
eight hours. There's a lot going on in that couple
of sentences. And I don't know. I want, I don't
know. I want to comprehend it. Please seek, please
seek therapy. My cult that link five for the
green hat. Bruh. uh 10 bucks uh best character
is the phantom lunch i had using colin's code
worst character is the effing krieger kriegler
from vampire slayer uh horrible person and high
on his own sheet shed every time he talks Yeah,
Krieger was kind of awful, and his first name
is Adolphus, and if you needed more proof someone's
a bad person, then Adolph being part of the name
is a pretty compelling argument for him being
a shitter. Also, God bless you, first human being
on the planet to use a YouTuber's sponsor code,
and it was mine. God fucking bless. Wow. I've
never even considered it now. In the house. I
agree, Perpetuals should have been a one -off
with Jon for fun and never mentioned again. We
agree. Or at least I agree. Perpetuals are meh.
Well, they're all dead, basically. Even Vulcan.
Again. Yeah. The Siege of Terra should have had
a... You know Marvel What If? There should have
been a version of that where Horus and the Emperor
come together and just kick him in the ribs over
and over again. Heresy averted at the last minute
due to beating up Jon. It's Sigmar with the steel
chair! And then he's like, yeah, what if? You
have Horus here. he's here to beat up john too
you have horus heresy you have dornian heresy
you have gilliman heresy now there's grammatica's
heresy and it ends in two pages or call it grammatical
grammaticalism there you go that's what i'd call
it now for the next again this one we've got
some longer ones here boys i don't even get to
all of them but they got people were really okay
this this one was particularly uh particularly
important goddamn essay uh direct to mig says
uh worst character leman ross i don't feel like
i need to explain myself but i will first off
he's such a stupid and hypocritical character
he's an effing idiot but copes by saying i was
just pretending to be an idiot when in fact he's
just a dumb ass he makes it back to terror during
the heresy only to decide that he wanted to 1v1
Horus for some BS reason and leaves with his
entire legion. Now, I wouldn't be mad if it worked
out, but not only did he not do anything good,
it backfired horribly. Sure, he wounds Horus
with a spear. Big whoop. Guess what, though?
The wound is what caused Horus to finally give
in and let himself be taken over by the Chaos
Gods. And if that wasn't bad enough, he basically
sacrificed his entire goddamn legion to give
Horus a finger prick. Staying a terror to help
defend and give the loyalists a chance to win
the siege? You know, question. F that, I'm gonna
go suicide run and cause more effing harm than
good. And this isn't even mentioning the sheer
effing idiocy of the burning of Prospero. Now,
I'm not even a T -Sons fan. That's a shame. They
didn't deserve what happened. Actually, even
before Posse, Lee even F'd them over. And the
Imperium, with the Council of Nykia, granted
it was him and Morty who were the biggest offenders.
But if Jagatai, in brackets, my king, and the
nerd were allowed to create the Librarians, the
Imperium would have fared much better during
the heresy. Also, we're halfway through, by the
way. Also, you can't say that the Thousand Suns
did nothing wrong while I'm purging Thousand
Suns in the footage. That's just what's going
on there. Also, if psychos weren't outlawed at
the council, the burning of Prospero wouldn't
have had any reason to happen. But ignoring all
of that, when Lemus was said to bring Magnus
back to Terra and Horace told him to kill his
brother. Lehman didn't step back to use any critical
thinking skills at all. No thoughts of, hmm,
this conflict with my father's orders. Maybe
I should double check. Or even, hmm, maybe I
shouldn't kill my brother. I'm sure father has
his reasons to bring Magnus to Terra. I think
we need to start implementing a sentence limit.
I'll try and wrap it up quickly. No, instead
of leaving, there's still another third of this
paragraph. And decides to kill the entire Legion.
Magnus isn't without blame during this either,
since he was just moping around his masturbatorium,
letting his planet die. But Russ was the one
who made the decision to wipe out a Primarch's
homeworld and expected no resistance. Even with
his disappearance, even his disappearance is
stupid. He just F'd off into the Eye of Terror
to find some mythical tree of life to heal Big
E. If only there happened to be a fifth loyalist
Primarch present at the Siege of Terror with
his entire legion. Maybe Big E wouldn't need
healing in the first place, in brackets, in capitals.
And on top of all of this, GW is teasing about
bringing him back. F you, bring back the Khan,
you coward. Lehman has done nothing but ruin
everything he touches. I can't deny, even the
Lehman Russ out -drinking the Emperor on Fenris
was awesome. It's his best character. I don't
know. Alpharius, maybe. You disagree. You were
simply manipulated by Alpharius into not liking
him so you can carry out some bull -ass, ass
-pull plan. There you go. Don't be honest. I
thought you were going to say best character,
the Khan, because you mentioned him twice, but
okay, fair play. You know what? I think this
man has said everything. All right, all right,
all right. What's there to add? One thing, though.
One thing, though. He didn't lose to Angron.
He chose to lose. There's a difference. He fought
Angron and he was like, I'm not going to go full
wolf on you. That's law accurate. I'm going to
briefly mention the second one because it's not
like a full... I can't read the full answer,
but you know who you are. Lilith of the Outdoor
Press. In honor of Colin, the worst Warhammer
character in the whole country of Bretonnia.
Oh, sorry, the worst character is the whole country
of Bretonnia. the best character is almighty
cetera great great king the imperishable kemi
kara the great king of nahikara king of kings
opener of the ways wield of the divine flame
punisher of the nomad the great unifier commander
of the golden legions sacred of the appearance
bringer of light father of hawks builder of cities
protector of the two worlds and etc etc etc the
man did actually write the entire the entire
list out And we have read that out before. The
Bohemian Yapsody, I've heard it called. That
was from a brilliant comment I saw on our Great
Crusade compilation, so yeah, couldn't help mention
it. Is Tetra the best character in Fantasy, Colin?
I mean, he's pretty great. It's like all hype
moments and just aura, but by God, does he do
it well. I only realized recently there's a whole
book about Sigmar. I didn't realize he had books.
Does he get much character out of those? Yeah,
he's got a couple books. I saw it and I was like,
oh. Yeah, he's still a barbarian guy, but that's
Sigmar. That's the man. You do me sticking. Well,
I think Cetra's pretty amazing. Bretonnia could...
probably get shafted if Colin thinks... I try
not to judge that one. I will. I think Ickitclaw's
nukes need to be deployed to Bretonnia. Just
get rid of it. I don't mind Bretonnia. I don't
think it... It's very surface level, but I don't
know what else in Warhammer in some way wasn't
that to begin with. Like, I mean, it is... The
Empire is Holy Roman Empire, copy and pasted
in certain... in the bear yeah but at least like
they've got you know magic colleges and you know
look the question how would the holy roman empire
handle a demon invasion is a fun question to
think about i know how king arthur would handle
a demon invasion he's king arthur he'd go stab
them and sure enough that's all pretonia does
Oh, where's Mike? Poor Mike, the Bretonnian knight
in our chat is listening. He's seriously offended,
I can tell. That's his response right there.
We did the next one here by Captain Duct Tape,
which is a great name. I think the best character
to me would be Talos of the Night Lords. He and
Savitar seem to be the only two who had any idea
of what Curse wanted from his legion and his
noble... justification for horrific actions makes
him the best embodiment of what the eighth legion
was meant to be uh the worst would be most anyone
post corn corruption the idea of corn but i love
the idea of corn but it seems like everyone just
turns into mindless berserkers he's a god of
war and a body survivor the fittest his generals
should be amongst the best he should not he should
not shun stealth deception is a part of war He
should shun betrayal instead, which is in brackets
ironic, I know. Obviously can't the betrayer.
From the strong survive standpoint, many predators
rely on ambushes. Basically, I think Khorne characters
I've read about don't embody a war god as much
as a god of being angry. I'm sad because I like
the war god. Maybe there's some books that can
do it better. This is pretty based opinion on...
uh corn stuff in touch like it is pretty like
how we've discussed this on lord crimes before
where they've i think me and colin have had a
thing about like corn is like it's i find it
it's a contradiction it's like corn cares not
where the blood flows but yet he likes honorable
combat but then you see a bunch of berserkers
being like civilians you know form -based like
pounding you know our eagles spread jumping into
them and yeah you know i don't I don't get it.
It's an inconsistent writing thing, especially
because as time has gone on, they've kind of
pulled away from the chaos gods truly having
positive aspects. How's so much Nurgle there?
Nurgle's kind of there, but they've even... I
mean, it's just because all they need to do to
keep that for him is have a goofy smile on a
demon's face, and it's still... remains i think
well even in like um because i'm i'm reading
seizure what i've read i've read seizure terror
and there's a part of it which is like there's
like a subtle thing where like in um first wall
talk about how like All these new, you know,
emperor worshipping cults are like worshipping
this like tree of life thing. They're like, oh,
life, hope and, you know, a better day and survival
and all things like that. And then it turns out
they go a bit too far into it. They're like,
oh, God, it's a bit. There's something deep in
that literally in the roots of it. Like there's
a tree and then they have to dig into the roots.
So they keep that part of it. But I agree. The
corn stuff is so meh. like again like once they
turn into basically berserkers it's kind of over
i don't know how to make that in i think i mean
how do you guys think they could make corny like
post -corny characters interesting i mean they
tried with i've just done a video on the crimson
slaughter and they have like a bunch of lore
about how they basically were they were manipulated
by sinch to follow corn essentially and they
they massacred a whole planet's worth of people
because they were like look look sinch cultists
look and it's like no they're sanctioned by the
ecclesiarchy to worship the emperor but they
wear bird masks i guess okay and like then they're
technically undivided but they they basically
have like the butcher's nails without the nails
where that instead of digging into your brain
it's oh we hear the screams of all the people
we murdered all the time unless we're killing
new people like oh that's kind of fun i say fun
fun for us to read um and they really tried to
push the crimson slaughter and they are making
a resurgence in law they are turning up here
and there um but they haven't really been seen
doing much since the 13th black crusade and i
mean technically everything in the setting is
contributing to corn because it's it's war There
is only war. There is only Khorne. Everything
is contributing to Khorne in some way. So maybe
lean in to that a bit more. Have self -righteous
crusades turn into blood baths and that kind
of stuff and get people accidentally pledging
to Khorne without knowing. Maybe. I don't know.
He's a tough... Because the only problem is then
you get another Angron who's just a mad guy running
around going... Hitting people over the head.
a mad scientist cornade would be quite fun because
look here hear me out right okay corn likes blood
he likes when it flows I feel that if someone
was you know like someone like Stephen Hawking
they're not very physically fit and capable yes
I'm aware but i didn't know where you go with
that where is this going they invent some like
absolutely horrific destructive weapons of war
corn would be like hey you're not very strong
physically but by god are you bringing the blood
can you please do an impression of your stephen
hawking corn corrupt corn corrupted stephen hawking
please i don't have it i don't i don't have a
text -to -speech software i can do this All right,
Colin, rebounding off that idea. What if we had
a downtrodden, homunculated Coven member who
was really weak and he was like, I'm going to
side with Khorne and I'm going to be a renegade
within the Drukhari society because I'm going
to exsanguinate all my enemies. I'm going to
try to become stronger. And I know all the weird
stuff that we know about. What about that? because
that's the only thing like drukhari and stuff
is like interesting get him out of kimura because
he can't do it inside kimura and he could be
like a renegade drukhari homunculi who's pledged
to corn that could be a fun idea adds a bit of
novelty bit of variety the problem is like interesting
corn corruption is basically just the black rage
like it's you resist it you sometimes could go
mad or something and then you basically turn
into a crazy murder hobo. Angel of light, angel
of darkness. That's the issue. They can't make
it basically the same as that, but that's the
interesting version of it. They could do something
with it. There are some weird ones. I literally
today released a warband lore piece about the,
the, the sanctified who are word bearers, defectors
who only worship corn. And they just try to like
summon greater demons like and graph. And there's
even a war band. I think it's possibly the oblivion
butchers or one of them. They, they just like,
which, which one? Like. we just want to like
bring a whole legion of corn into the real space
why not and they've like only been cited seven
times it's like ah there's one left if we see
him again it's gonna be bad but again it's some
surface level i suppose it's a it's a good uh
food for thought though thank you very much um
that was was that when uh that was captain captain
uh duct tape oh he also said um best character
was obviously talos and saboteur again night
lord's trilogy is a fantastic book in a sense
of uh it truly understands um like it in no way
like justifies uh the madness of conrad occurs
but in a way like it explains it and like the
contra you know the contradiction that it is
and it does it you know beautifully uh you know
great trilogy and also like just have some fun
cool moments in it as well where like you know
it's actually pretty sad oh the whole thing's
kind of sad in some way like you almost you almost
feel sympathetic for the characters and then
they really show you like oh we're not the heroes
like we're really yeah adb does a good job there
being like you like him yeah check this out yeah
they are the villains like they are the bad guys
and and they know it You know, they always were.
Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do? What you
gonna do when they come for you? And the last
one of this section was by hashtag number one
Primaris hater. I hate Belisarius Call because
I hate Primaris Marines. They may be the single
worst lore addition in recent history. Wow. Total
Primaris Marine death. Kill Primaris. Backstab
Primaris. Kick a Primaris into the warp. Slam
dog a Primaris' gene seed into a trash can. Crucify
Primaris captains. Defecate in a Primaris's corpse
starch. Launch Primaris into Komarar. Stir fry
your Primaris in Nurgle's cauldron. Toss Primaris
into a Damoculaba. Urinate into a Primaris's
helmet. Skin a Primaris with a flayed one. Twist
Primaris's purity seals off. Report Primaris
to the Harlequins. Maul Primaris with vicious
high tyrants. Chop Primaris in half. Stomp a
fat Primaris lieutenant. Trap Primaris in Nurgle's
cauldron. ... ... ... ... ... Cremate Primaris
in bloodthirst of breath. Destroy Primaris spirits
with Catan shards. Mandatory Harlequins kiss
for Primaris. Catapult Primaris into the Eye
of Terror. Farm Primaris with a Castellan Knight.
Drown Primaris in Molten Ceramite. Drag Primaris
behind your Baneblade. Toss Primaris out of the...
out of the Golden Palace, vaporize Primaris with
the Gorse Cannon, kick Primaris chaplains down
the stairs, feed Primaris to the Carnifex, slice
Primaris with a shuriken catapult. I don't agree
with any of that, but I will say, if it's any
consolation to you, all of those things have
probably happened at least once in the setting,
so you've got your way. We listen and we don't,
Judge. I think some people do. think it is the
worst thing ever i don't think it's the worst
thing ever like it's it's all right i like piranhas
they're there they're not you know i only have
one complaint about them i just like i prefer
the old type of helmet of like yeah or the grill
helmet which i was looking on some recent kits
like even the space walls and probably black
templar kit i think gw are like oh people still
like that so they still have those options so
you know Never mind. There are a little bit of
a sign the setting is kind of losing its own
plot. I will say that. Forget the promise of
science and technology. By the way, here's a
whole lot of new science and technology. I think
it makes sense. It did move things along a little
bit in terms of... I don't know. Someone out
there was like, you know what? Let's blow up
Cadia. and like cut the imperium into like let's
just do it man and i at least like you know my
common complaint about warhammer is often like
it's just like nothing happens in it like the
amount of like what's the most recent there's
been a there's been a fourth war like calling
of armageddon a fourth war of armageddon and
it's a bit of a nothing burger so i'm kind of
i'm okay with things not being a nothing burger
for so long and actually having you know proper
you know you know again like it no matter what
they would do not everyone's going to like it
but you know shout out to the writers who actually
do have some talent with it because they seem
to make it somewhat interesting though as in
you know it's got a thing of and some of the
dante blood angel books they're like obviously
some primaris just don't get along because they're
like The Blood Angels are worried, like, these
guys are from bloody Mars. They're technically
from our planet. But they're not of our culture,
so they're worried their culture will die off.
Or they don't have the... Gabriel Seth almost
beats up another Primaris captain, or he does
beat up one, because he's like, they don't have
the flaws of Sanguinius. These are like 30k marines,
almost. They don't really believe the Emperors
of God or anything like that. And then there's
one where like Guy Haley straight off wrote a
book where the black Templar firstborn just end
up killing their primaris because they're like,
these are heretical. These are new technology.
These are not designed by the emperor. These
are designed by a bloody, you know, tech priest
of Mars. So they end up killing them because
they're like, you know, this is heresy. So, you
know, at least someone did it, but I don't, I
don't mind. And then some of the models obviously
are sick, not the lieutenants. Primarily tenant
could probably stuff it, you know, but I think
we might have enough time for maybe one more
round, guys, of like Colin there. I think Colin,
do you see the one by DS9 2025? Ah, yes. Oh,
boy. All right. I just thought of a better one
than this. The Inari. That's a great start. Wow.
Is it finally time to talk about this great disappointment?
Because I feel like this is a bridge that needs
to be crossed by lore crimes that they're avoiding
crossing. It's either that or I think I declare
the worst character our Slaanesh demons and the
ass -pull fool. That wasn't even my final form
when they got there. Yeah, Inari wins our Inari
book as a fucking whole soup of diarrhea. Because
GW gives Chaos a lot of those. But that one,
that one was just the second worse. Actually,
Snatch's ass pull went over the Nari. It might
be worse than the End Times for me. Oh, dear.
Oh, don't. Because I never cared much about the
old world beyond Carl Franz's cool. I don't like
that, but, you know, it is what it is. Sucks
the actual Austrian Empire's Emperor Carl was
a joke who abdicated in World War I. Wow. A little
historical in here. Yeah. Yeah, Yunari bad. I'm
afraid I do not have much more to offer than
that because that seems to be the general vibe.
But yeah, Yunari bad. How would you fix it, do
you think? I mean, it's hard not to judge the
Yunari stuff because it's almost like it's a
bit of a wet bag. I think part... Part one would
be don't give them four of the five crone swords
immediately, because then you know they're never
getting the last one. You got 80 % of your faction's
motivation done in the first book. Where do we
go now? Not even that. It was in codexes before
the book. Your Vrain has a sword. Visark has
a sword. The Inkan's got a sword. They've already...
seen um to be fair um there's a whole book valador
about uh prince uriel getting his sword although
you don't know it's a crone sword at the time
it's like he has a whole book that was good fun
i enjoyed that book that was one of my favorite
elder books and i read them all in a month and
i gotta be honest i didn't like hate the inari
books but i did think they were a bit like oh
this is it was the araman problem this is all
inconsequential nothing matters yeah okay Also,
I guess from there is like, don't make the faction
jobbers in their own books. Don't have every
single faction of Eldar come together, barely
beat a Slaanesh army, and then immediately fight
each other afterwards. What are you cooking here?
Because it's not a meal. It's not food. I think
they... They're not brave enough with them to
actually make a unique faction out of them. We've
talked about this, I think I've mentioned it
at various times, maybe every few years now,
where it's like, I thought the Inari should actually
be an undead faction in terms of proper Eldar
ghosts and stuff. We've talked about that a bit.
It would be crazy interesting, because obviously
it's the god of the... It should embody what
it's meant to be about, which is, like, obviously,
the god of the dead. And there's barely any dead
people there. You know, where are my ghosts?
Where's my Unari ghosts? It's just, like, when
you do see it, it's just Eldar Soup, the faction.
Yeah, and the trouble is, as well, like, when
you think of it, you've obviously got Evrain
and the Visarka are part of the Unari. Uriel
is an honorary member. Arianne from Iandan is
an honorary member. Eldrad is a member. Like,
all the premier characters. Well, yeah, he calls
himself the herald of Enead. He's like, this
is my plan. This is my stuff. But he also just
kind of fucked off with the latest codex. Yeah,
and even Lelith Hesperax is now technically part
of the Inari, because she's one of Ibrahim's
bodyguards. All the premier characters, other
than Azdrabail Vect, who has no lore anyway.
they're all in ari now that you're done but there's
none left who else are we going to talk about
oh i don't know guys i do like the idea of it
being um like with their like overarching story
like if there's a thing of like if they are like
if they had like the undead of like the previous
in like the glory era like elder or something
there's still a disconnect in which like the
crawford elder are like now these people aren't
here you know they're the ones who like you know
burst the nesh and then the dark elder are like
i don't do i have to follow these people you
know i make my own destiny in some way well then
the drukaria just being like oh wait i don't
have to worry about the nash anymore sold and
then the other ones are like i'm still scared
of vect he's scared yeah i'm not going anywhere
like there's pluses and you know minuses for
essentially being part of the inari but also
like they they need like um like with the crone
sort of thing like so there's basically kind
of a dead plot line now they need a thing like
not like a macguffin but like they need an overall
like you know gilliman is trying to like hold
back the tide of chaos in some sense i stabilize
the imperium he has an objective what are you
nari doing like like keep the order alive like
that's too vague almost like they actually have
to be something where it's like you know okay
we're actually going to either you know make
a strike against sanesh resurrect loads of undead
or like fully birth the god or something where
you know and then because opportunities were
like you know there's ancient elder you can actually
explore you know the ancient elder you know the
civilization we could go see parts of it before
it ultimately you know it's just it's such a
waste isn't it it's uh it's weird because elves
are so much more interesting in so many other
um different like ips like elves like the thing
in other areas whereas in like 40k it's almost
like an afterthought including the other warhammer
settings there's so much more i know like warmer
like fantasy people love high elves wood elves
dark l you know i mean like they're pretty obviously
humans will always be the most popular thing
but um pretty you know what was it you know lord
of the rings or something like that you know
people you know we love the elves and that as
well i just i'm just surprised i don't know i'm
not i'm not surprised i'm just disappointed that
they can't find a way to like make it clearly
the best thing in the setting which has potential
to be you know very sad uh should you do the
i should you want donation before we do like
maybe the last few just obviously So the first
one from Pancreas' Silliest Clown for five. I
think Ferris Manus is a great character because
when you need a bong for the session, he comes
in clutch. He is the bong. But where are you
taking the hit from is the question. Shellacti's
Wettest Gripper. God, that is such a good name.
Two Canadian can't finish the stream, but I'll
find Eli to atone. You know, R .I .P. He's not
dead. That's why I'm saying that for a reason.
He's fine. He's fine. Calm down. Do you want
to take this one, Colin? Sure. Blandy8521, thank
you for the... Pounds. I thought it was pounds.
It just took a minute. Keonius. You just end
the sentence there. I'm not sure what that is.
I think that's their Discord name. Ah, gotcha.
That makes more sense. Something I forgot to
include and why I don't like Big E. Big E says
he's not a god that appears as a golden giant.
Yeah, when the emperor is not ridden well, he
reads like... If you've got a Reddit atheist
to make a character based on the line, God moves
in mysterious ways. Sometimes the writing is
not cooking for the emperor. I know. I promise.
No, I'll let you get through it. You can hear
me, right? Not if you can hear me. Yes. Can you
hear me? Yeah, you had a bit of a crackle there.
Sorry, you got me attacked by something. Well,
I can't hear you. I'm going to duck out. There
was a little crackle. Oh, dear. Oh, no. We lost
the host. Oh, no. Well, I guess I'll riff off.
Get me on the hatches. I would say I kind of
disagree because it's not something where it's
just not randomly put in there for no reason.
It's generally meant to appear that the Emperor...
appears as this like master of mankind figure
because humans essentially can't rally behind
anything other than something that sees beyond
themselves uh like there's like a thing of like
um like a discussion where like technically like
there's like things like you know would ai be
like a really good you know it made like a supercomputer
ai thing and like would you know technically
it could make like you know in brackets like
the best decisions ever whatever but then like
we would never be okay with it because we need
to see like a human figure in some way being
in like as flawed as we are like in charge of
things like the emperor knows like in some way
like to be the ruler of the galaxy you can't
just look like an ordinary bloke you've got to
be this more than more than human you know and
we are when people like obviously our leaders
we assign them to be more than human in some
way like they're their flaws are not as bad their
their deeds are greater than anything ever before
people romanticize even you know you meet the
person once or you know you met a celebrity once
you talk about that story or something i think
it's like that interpretation with the emperor
like he's just meant to be um so just incredible
like you know he dressed you know this is the
reason why malkador says like they he convinced
him to be to call himself the emperor because
it commands um you know loyalty and all that
kind of things. I don't know if we can still
hear you, Andy. I don't know if the audio is
gone. Yeah, Andy, are you... Say something, sir,
please. I can hear you on my phone, but not through
the thing, and I don't want to mess it up. We
can hear you, though. Yes, Colin, join me with
the donation from... Bean with a fiver. Typhus
was ready to condemn his entire legion to an
eternity of eating Arby's just so he could be
a beehive or something. Arby's is the original
sin, so yeah, that is pretty heinous of him.
There's still quite a few to go through here,
but I think we might just do one or two last
ones. We are aware of, like, we might be here
all day, people. We appreciate everyone's responses,
like, because obviously people put a lot in,
and that was, again, like, thank you guys so
much for putting in the responses, though. Someone
actually did say Typhus was one of their favorite
characters, and I also think it was like they
hated Lucius as well. That man deserves the hate,
though. Fair. He is pretty awful. Do you want
to do the one by Dr. Spinosaur, Colin? Did you
see that one? Yeah, I could take that one. There
it is, yeah. Do we have another donation there,
Andy? Was that by... Oh, God, we're behind on
donors. Sorry, brothers. Technicality. I forgot
we were still doing donations. Oh, we can hear
you, Andy. Okay, it does work. Colin, do you
want to play this one? Yeah. Nova Box with the
fiver. Worst character, Colin's mother for having
the audacity to create and nourish Colin. That's
what it would mean to my mother. Best character,
Colin's long lost brother, Kalino, who's from
India. Okay. Damn. That law drop is crazy. Jesus.
Sick. Nuts. 499. Jesus. Last dream felt like
a weird fever dream. Anywho. Feet tier list when,
guys? We already did the feet tier list. We literally
have done it now. It's over. Go back and look
at it. You can find it quite easily. It's actually
done. We heard enough people commenting it and
we did it for some reason. It was my fault. I
don't know what you want. It's right there. My
brother in Christ, Donkey Man USA for five bucks.
The unhinged Hal supercut that Mike and I are
working on is already 20 minutes long. Beware,
Hal. Damn. I mean, maybe we'll upload it. I guess
we have that to look forward to. Maybe we'll
upload it or something. Still on corner? Set.
Corn Carl Sagan. Yeah, see, you got what I was
going for with the science thing. Corn Carl Sagan.
Nice, nice. He knows. Bagel Luminati. Five bucks.
Colin's idea implies that Vashtor is a Cornate
champion. No, it does not. He's kind of his own
thing, isn't he, though? God, that is a story
I need to hurry up. Yeah, something needs to
happen with her. Parker Sumlin, though, for $4
.99. Fulgrim versus Sanguinius beauty contest
when? I think it's implied like basically Sanguinius
is like Fulgrim tries really hard, but Sanguinius
is prettier. As in like, you know, he's like,
oh my God, Sanguinius, whereas Fulgrim is like,
you know, he's trying too hard. Yeah. Too much
effort. Bunny Cop with the two. New favorite
character. Call for the rage she causes. That's
funny. Is anyone's favorite character Bellatoro's
call? Rayleigh for two bucks. R .I .P. Yanari.
Neat concept, but gets butchered. For real. Shout
out to Boingob for the legs there. and kayla
collins for the two bucks uh when's the when's
the vtuber tier list uh in a question mark uh
tenma schizo tier well uh we'll do that because
it's appropriate then god i'm really so useless
on that one though uh anything else anymore uh
what was the it was by the last Proper one, is
it, by Dr. Spinosaur Colin? Do you see that one?
Yeah. We ready to go for them now? Yeah, let's
do it. No judgment, please. Worst character,
on the other hand, and I'm sorry to say it, but
it's basically every Primark character in 40k,
specifically. It's been said before, but the
Primarks are basically voids of plot that suck
up any story points about Space Spring characters
and overshadow them constantly. My wife is currently
reading the new Fulgrim book, and she's asking
me questions on the main Epirus Children character.
I'm the Lord Buff. Cheers to you, Lord Grimes.
Cheers. She's not through it yet, but I have
a suspicion this Tamaris character and all the
others are only there to set up how glorious
and beautiful Snake Boy is, and is going to die
by the end of the book. I get it. GW makes and
sell big models for money. That's why we get
them. But we got the Primark stories already
in the Horus Heresy. We know who they are and
what they're about. In the Demon Primarch's cases,
they barely even have a personality now beyond
their appointed god, which I have my own gripe
about. But if GW wants to promote your ability
to create your own stories with your models,
they should use more stories with less prevalent
chapters of marines, like my boys the Iron Snakes.
Give us more books without the use of overpowered
demigods the likes of which can never be achieved
by any other. Sprinkle in a diverse roster of
archetypes and characters, and maybe even have
them stick around so we get to know them before
Angron comes screaming from a warp portal to
mash them into paste. That way their death has
more meaning to us. But basically, Primarchs
are endpoints of character and story in 40k,
not a full story in their own right. On most
of this, at least I personally am going to pretty
hard agree with you. Please keep 30k in 30k.
yeah i'm finding this one tough i've had this
one tough because gilliman in 40k is like the
exception though like his stuff is interesting
i almost don't think the lion really had to return
in any way like it didn't it would have been
fine without him but specifically like because
when gilliman like basically wakes up and he's
like what you know like it's a it's a 30k reaction
to 40k And then it actually is interesting. Obviously,
he is going through a lot of character development
in terms of, like, he basically has PTSD from
the fact of, like, my dream was murdered and
I have to try and save it. And I can't rest,
you know, my poor dude. I think... It's, I mean...
Go ahead, go ahead. I mean, even him coming back,
sometimes I look at, I like Gilman a lot, favorite
Primarch, but even some of the stuff, like, he
opened the floodgates, and I really wish he didn't.
That's not his fault, though, obviously. It's
not his fault, but he was the first, and I mean,
honestly, I don't think even the traitor Primarchs
need to be around. Probably not. I mean, like,
they are just, I mean, I always thought, like,
maybe in some way, when they became traitor Primarchs,
they, like, died. As in, like, they actually
died. They kind of, I'm trying to think, for
lack of a better way, like, fall more into the
warp, like they lose touch with the material
world. In most ways, they're just as functionally
dead as the loyalist Primarchs. Yeah, like, maybe
they couldn't even talk at that point. I don't
need them to talk, you know what I mean? I'm
aware of, like, it's just a husk of a thing.
i'd always prefer like that yeah so saying because
again like gilliman in the dark imperium uh trilogy
stuff is quite good in that like he's generally
like going through quite a lot and then it's
a whole him to come you know he's trying to find
a way to come to terms like is the faith the
emperor real or not like is the the whole book
is answering the asking the question is the emperor
a god in some sense and obviously gilliman can't
really accept it but then he's like the miracles
seem to work and it's like that's weird um yeah
so i think it's uh again like i i kind of am
with it though 40k primark stuff is often like
oh god not another like demon rust does not need
to return at this point like if they and they
do another loyalist primark after this like the
next edition i'm like i'll give it a break uh
but yeah i'm kind of with it uh and i think as
for the maybe the last one we'll do um it was
by uh it's a very appropriate name it was by
uber trolls who said thankful he's painfully
unfunny and a complete waste of pay of page space
at worst Yeah, I think I want to kill you with
hammers. This is particularly spicy. But we listen.
No, judgment not. No, no. Nothing but judgment.
No, no. No, you are not valid. You are invalid.
You are not cooking. Get out of the kitchen.
Put down the cutlery. I'm going to have to ask
you to please leave the forge. Wow. I guess we
really failed at that then. Uh, the only, uh,
finishing, uh, donors again, sorry for the, uh,
Paul, the technicalities in this one, unfortunately
was, uh, Mr. Stream yards is never all. It's
not as bad as when we used to have Riverside.
If anyone remembers the days, but, um, Oh, we
have a beast from Sweden. Uh, obviously actually
a big fan of our, uh, Godric and Felix, uh, episodes.
This guy, good, uh, good, uh, member, uh, Vulcan
lift, stomp, stomp. I like that. He often helps
us fill out spots when we do Got Trick and Felix
episodes. Appreciate you. He has filled in some
spots I missed, which is very much appreciated.
Oh, he's here. He's back, Colin. Medicare insulin.
Hell yeah. Yo, can we do an on -stream sugar
check? You know what? Give me a minute. I'm afraid
I've got a Dexcom, so it's not terribly interesting
to look at, but I am 114. Quite the nice blood
sugar. What's the perfect range again? Is it
between... 80 to 120 is usually ideal. I don't
remember. The numbers are different in the UK.
I don't remember. For our numbers, it's 80 to
120. At 114, I'm doing perfect. nice uh again
thank you everyone who um helps especially uh
people in the discord obviously please do join
the discord if you uh wish to have your comments
and all your stuff um featured on the next episode
obviously a massive help guys i know as i did
it pretty late recently i hadn't decided on um
episode stuff but everyone really represented
i will say uh on the no judgment ones we did
see a lot of them there was a lot of um treys
in the infinite uh repeats there and obviously
you know fantastic character uh you know always
always a pleasure to see treys and lots of thank
wars lots of gosh tracks and felixes so we all
we know we saw you guys we appreciate you uh
you know absolutely valid opinion oh uh colin
do you see that one oh oh no piece from Sweden
thank you for the 50s CK was so angry I missed
the third episode of Godric and Felix was at
work well I'm glad for the support please don't
lose your job yeah because you want to support
the funny remember guys employment is sexy okay
keep keep being employed please uh I guess uh
Again, for people listening, poor Andy, I think
maybe has some slight audio issues. Maybe does
it work, Andy? Just try saying something. We
could hear you. I think it's on mute, Andy. Andy,
where is it? I can hear you on the mobile phone,
but it is a few seconds before, so I hear you
on a delay. So I propose to end the episode.
you guys say goodbye and wave awkwardly and when
i see it i'll then end the stream i think that's
probably the best way to do it fair enough all
right guys thank you guys for listening for watching
again merchandise uh discord all that good stuff
we got um regular episode uh next week and we'll
go see you all then peace much love bye have
a good one fellas see you in a week