Hello, ladies and gentlemen. It's Law Crimes.
Hello, everyone. We have a monumentous day ahead
of us. Not only is it some of the things related
to the podcast, some of these not. Not only is
it Piccolo Day. Not only is the funny high -elf
bird boat available for pre -order now. God bless.
But Andy, of all people, will be heading a podcast
not only not about the Imperium, but about the
Eldar, of all things. Andy, in spirit of him
doing his... May Sirianni. And boy, was that,
as we talked about, the hardest thing to come
up with a name. Yeah, I needed help from Colin
to come up with the pun. So you can thank Colin
for a lot of help with that one. Believe us,
neither of us were totally happy with it, but
it was the best we could come up with. May Sirianni.
Anything else? Not really. But in celebration
of him now becoming an Eldar lore guy. for a
month, but we'll take it. He will be telling
us a little bit about the Dark Eldar today. Exciting.
And I have no doubt that he's probably mastered
just about all Dark Eldar lore that there is.
I've given a good shake. I mean, to give you
an idea, I've now done almost two weeks of just
a video a day on Drukhari. I read the trilogy,
I read the... mask of vile i went through some
of us like codexes so like i've read a lot of
stuff and it's been interesting because there
were some things i didn't i probably should have
known and then i read up and i was like oh like
why didn't i realize this was the thing about
the drukari that's kind of obvious but i just
i just never heard of it so it didn't really
like sit in my brain box um also it is it is
also an ironic day because there's Guernsey's
National Holiday Liberation Day. And we're talking
about the faction that is the least liberal of
all of them, quite arguably, especially when
it comes to enforced labor, shall we say. So
that's fun. Before we start, though, what's your
knowledge with Drukhari like? Because I know
this is a weird faction of like, it's not obscure,
but it's also kind of niche in a way, if that
makes sense. It's a strange one. It's... I feel...
I mean, I'm pretty comfortable in the broad strokes.
Even saying that is probably more than average
40k fans. I mean, even amongst Xenos factions.
The Dark Elder have always kind of felt to me
like a niche pick. Even the average person can...
Alright, calm down. Diabetes. Even like I feel
the average person, like if you put a gun to
their head, they can stumble into a couple right
things about the, like the craft world Eldar,
right? They're high elves in space, much as I
like them. I know what you are. I mean, I'd say
my knowledge is. like i'm not gonna i've not
consumed enough like andy and i'm gonna achieve
kim or anything like that you know not to that
level don't don't call it kim i don't care i
don't care i don't care what kirkbride says uh
i mean maybe enough to win a quiz against you
guys on it but we haven't even started and the
ego's already shining through like that yeah
the crazy part is i don't like mind it at all
but it pisses everyone else off is so much We're
murdering you, Tuesday. I'd say it's alright,
but I'm sure Andy's going to fill in a lot of
gaps today, and if someone's new as well, there's
probably a lot where you know a little bit about
Dark Eldar or Druki, and then this is like, oh,
damn. They really do be making people into furniture.
My knowledge extends to the amount of times I've
read other characters interact with the Dark
Eldar. And that's pretty much it. But the Fabius
Bile books have a little bit on them. I've read
those. They're very fun villains of the week.
They sure look cool. Possibly the coolest looking
army in Warhammer. Not gonna lie. I will say
that I agree, but that does come with the caveat.
You really gotta accept the edge. Both metaphorically
and literally, because putting together Dark
Elder models can hurt. It's a lot of spiky bits.
You'll do more damage with the model than a hobby
knife. But there is something to be said for
when the people making the army are just like,
what if we don't try and be anything, but all
that's left to do is embrace it? Because at a
certain point, when you're designing the army
of galaxy -wide slavers who torture you to live,
there's not really... There's no saving grace.
You are Shadow the Hedgehog, and just embrace
it. It's the perfect army for the 2010s hot topic.
Dude, unironically, if Warhammer was at its level
of popularity now in 2010, every hot topic in
Spencer's, in the US at least, would have 50
different pieces of Dark Eldar merchandise. It
could be defined by the word sandpaper. uh it's
very they'll have a lot of uses for sandpaper
and i'll just leave it at that basically yeah
that's what the spencer's is for because only
like half of that merchandise is safe for work
and then you know if you're anything like me
you're 12 you're at the mall mom let you wander
around uh you go into this fun looking nerd shop
colindor There's a t -shirt with Batman on the
wall. You're like, I like Batman. I bet there's,
I like Goku. I bet there's cool things in here.
Then you walk 10 feet into the store. That is
a dildo. Thank you. Spencer's very cool. This
is just at a mall. Speaking of get ups, I do
like this comment from Jake Thornton saying Andy
master dressing like Timu Hugh Hefner. Very nice.
Thank you very much. But with that all said and
done, shall we get cracking? Yes, let's lure
me up. Stream Donut. Do you want to read Donut
first? Is the guy who already said it? Just the
pre -stream ones. Yeah, let's go. Fugless El
Bosso. It's an anime that despite the name is
apparently really sad. However, I can't raise
you Andy for a better comparison maybe. Did you
see Scary Movie? Yes. Take my little hand, it's
strong. Poor lady glued to the ceiling. Or the
guy was like, I can do it myself. Anyway. Weird
freaking movie. Donkey Man USA, five bucks. Stream
late due to Hal gooning to the mandrake on the
flesh couch. Thank you, Donkey Man. That's the
Harry Potter mandrake, too, in Hal's case. Not
the Dark Elder one. Carshark, thank you for the
ten dollars. Shout out to the Earthbound pic.
I think there's an Alpha Legion trooper in my
chicken sandwich. Should get him out of there.
I think also Carl Chuck was mentioning that the
Earthbound guy there is basically a man of iron,
and that was Joe. He's like, man of iron, man
of gold. Good stuff. Check out our Discord. We
have fun stuff in there. Oh, wow. Also, thank
you. Yeah, 11 months, man. Thank you very much.
Thank you. Oh, sorry. No. Don't cry for me, Argenta.
Argentina in Rogue Trader? Such a charming smile.
Thank you, Plastic Mag. Shane, bro, thank you
for the five. Shane, you son of a bitch. Colin,
what happens when he all drinks his Sunny D during
training? Man. What the fuck, dog? He ain't playing
Stellaris no more. Wow. Wow. Amazing. Before
we start, we do have a Discord. Some people want
to join the Discord. Again, lots of community
staff, people making fun of us, cool art things.
Also, there are people in the voice chat. You
can meet the DJ Beast, the real celebrity. There's
also sections for submissions where we need your
help to create some of the content slash your
comments. So get in there if you want to send
stuff that we'll directly read. our mental health
will be affected by it. Tom Bombadil solos Bretonnia
Donkey Man. Tom Bombadil solos everyone. Jesus
Christ. There is also an exceptional amount of
art of me pregnant. More than you'd think. I
believe there's three so far. Yeah, more than
you'd assume. Stop doing that. The fact that
it's more than one, it's crazy. Speaking of Brayden
Collins, though, Andy, I believe we have some
lore that's going to make us feel equally awkward
and disgusted. Okay, so, Drukhari. To know about
what the Drukhari are about, we have to go back.
before the Imperium of Man, when there was this
thing called the Eldari Empire. And for a really
long time, it was great. They were pruning away
the orcs, kind of like the equivalent of galactic
athlete's foot. Like, oh, that's annoying. Get
rid of that. The necrons are in a sleepy nap.
That's good. Old ones are gone. That's a shame.
But then all of a sudden, one fateful day, after
millennia of being bored and... delighting in
every conceivable vice there could be, whether
it be something that you put up your nose, something
you put in your mouth, or other places, the elder
kind of made a god of excess called Lanesh, and
their empire was practically in one moment taken
from, let's say, 100 % down to free. It's like
most of its citizens are instantly destroyed.
by this gigantic warp creature known as slanesh
which consumes all of their souls except for
a few some of them are in craft worlds and they
go i see what's going to happen and they get
as far away as they can from the the the heart
of the empire they sub i just because they they
put so much distance between where the eye of
terror is now which is what created slanesh to
where they are the other survivors lived in this
place called the webway the webway is this massive
labyrinthine tunnel system that also exists in
the immaterium. It's kind of like a little base
of operations within the warp, protected from
demons. It's like halfway between reality and
the warp. It's in between. It goes into both...
I'm trying to think of the best way to put it.
It's like physical worm tunnels, I always thought
of it. It's not a bad way to put it. Like if
a worm tunnel was like a real, like you could
actually, not as in like it would teleport you,
but as in like actual places like branches spreading
out and meeting into other places in the galaxy
for no apparent reason. Well, it's really useful
because the webway allows you to travel all across
the galaxy through like a sub dimension. So you
could be in east of the galaxy, go through the
webway like a Super Mario warp pipe. whoop oh
you're all the way in the west very quick too
like a week in the webway walking can is i don't
think they've ever narrowed down the time they
nor will they ever same with war travel uh but
it it could be like five minutes like i walked
across the galaxy in the webway here i am yeah
and either way the true eldar die in that moment
and the only people that survive the people that
get far away or the people that are in the webway
Kegorak, the laughing god, hides in the webway
while the other pantheons are fighting Slaanesh
and die in the process. And there's this one
big port hub in the webway called Kamora. Really,
really, really big trade hub used for everything
the Empire relies on. And it's practically untouched
by the fall of the Eldar and the birth of Slaanesh.
At this point, most of the species is gone. And
while some escape to maiden worlds to become
exodites where they go, I'm just going to like
completely stave off excess and vices and just
like till the land, live a life of, you know,
like, like basically like space Amish. Like we're
going to reject all these, like, like get rid
of your television, get rid of, you know. Reddit,
or whatever you use, and I'm going to go get
myself a hoe, not like that. I'm going to, you
know, harvest the land. I'm on my villain saga
arc right now, boys. See you in 100 years. Yeah,
Thanos at the end of Infinity War, smiling as
he looks at the sun. However, while the craft
welders are going, we're going to get away, but
we're not going to give up our psychic powers,
and the exodites are going to forego all their
vices. The pleasure cults of the Eldari Empire
go, no, you know what? I actually like who I
am. I'm the true Eldar. What if I double down?
Yeah, what if I double down? That's really healthy,
though. You guys should love who you are. Even
if you're scum. No, some of you should not love
who you are. Wow. But there is a caveat. So they
go, okay, I'm not going to stop skinning people.
That's too much fun. I'm not going to abstain
from all these concoctions that I consume on
and the suffering of others. I'm just going to
give up my psychic powers. I'm going to basically
atrophy my innate Eldar power, which is I'm really
interconnected with the immaterial. Because although
Komora is still pretty much intact and there
are all these sub -realms connected to it, it's
still like smothered in... the kind of sapping
energy of Slaanesh. So the Dark Kin basically
say, you know what? If we just stop the warp
shenanigans, we should be okay. And we're slowly
being drained. Our life force is basically being
siphoned away by Slaanesh. But eventually they
figure out, if we do really cruel things, it
kind of distracts Slaanesh. Slaanesh goes, ooh,
piece of candy. Ooh, piece of candy. And just
like... gets continually distracted and leaves
us alone. So how about we transform Kimura into
the worst place imaginable. We go raiding the
galaxy and just take people, like we'll take
the monkey, we'll take the orcs, we'll take any
creature we can find and we'll just take them
home. And instead of, oh, I met this guy, I'm
taking him home to meet my parents. I met this
guy. I put a bag over his head, I took him home,
and then we started making him into a lamp. That's
what they're about. And over time, Komora, as
their base of operation, they start to fragment
in kind of like... The people who inherit Komora
are basically the Eldar nobility, and there's
some different fiefdoms and people who are like,
well, I'm in charge of this sub -realm, and I'm
in charge of that sub -realm. But over time,
Komora quite literally, kind of like a space
hulk, starts like... attaching itself to other
domains of the webway, conglomerating it into
this weird conglomeration of spires, outcroppings,
jutting buildings, kind of like Dark Souls 3.
There's that bit where all the realities smush
together and all the buildings are in weird places
and you're like, what's going on? It's like that,
but sharp and like onyx black. And then... And
eventually they start to go, oh, this is actually
a good way of living. I can still indulge in
all the things that are really naughty. I don't
have to worry about Slaanesh as long as I'm torturing
everyone I see. They start to develop an economy.
They start to have markets and weapon stores,
and they start to have things like, I'm going
to have a speedway. so that we can race our vehicles
to delight our audiences. I'm going to put on
a carnival where I'm going to do the most disgusting
things imaginable. And it will make me look younger
because it quite literally revivifies my, like
my skin becomes softer. I seem to de -age and
I become stronger. And so over time, the nobles
work out a way of life. But there's one guy called
Asdrabail Vect. And apparently this guy, apparently
he's quite old. Not confirmed, but the Drukhari
believe he was there during the fall of the Eldar.
But unlike the nobility, he's just some guy.
He's just like, he's literally just some guy
that was like the lowest rung of Eldar society.
All of a sudden, Komaro, the Dark City is a thing.
He's literally like owned by another family,
this noble family. And he goes, after about four
millennia, he goes, I'm sick of this. And he
starts like building his influence. He's practically
the most cunning creature in the galaxy. Because
you're living in like the heart of like, quite
honestly, possibly the most dangerous place in
the universe with the most disgusting things
going on. You have no influence. You have no
privilege. You have nothing. And slowly he starts
to create this cabal. There's the cabal of the
black heart. And about 400 years after 400 years,
four millennia after the fall of the Eldari,
he basically goes, ah, I see an opportunity where
a space marine chapter. known as the salamanders
and about 500 astakis invade komara and while
all the the um the nobles are freaking out going
that's a lot of space marines and they're the
nice ones oh that's our antithesis and you know
the imperium starting to like say maybe we can
like maybe we can just like blot out pomara maybe
just get rid of them that'd be useful during
this time of upheaval Ezra Bale basically manages
to kill all the noble houses. He first rallies
all the noble houses to push the salamanders
back. And then once they've done that, he just
kills them all and goes, I'm in charge now. I'm
the supreme overlord. I think there's a part
where they have the salamander ship, don't they?
They have it stuck in Comorah, which Vex subtly
says, oh, I've brought in this amazing haul.
And then obviously gets taken over by the noble.
He's like, oh, I guess you'll take it off my
hands. And they go in and they realize, like,
oh, the salamanders are entrenched. So every
time a noble goes in to, like, kill all the space
marines, they keep getting cut down until loads
of them eventually just, you know, tunnel, fire,
pyre blasters. It's, you know, it was a bad recipe.
Not only that. There's one other thing. I don't
know if Colin or Eli remembers if this is true
or not. Wasn't Vect about to be executed? Because
he was a slave. And then the birth of Slaanesh
happened. I believe so. I do remember reading
that somewhere. I would need to double check
on where that came from, but to the best of my
knowledge, yeah, he was like a knife above the
heart Indiana Jones, and then, oh, hey, what's
that doing up there? Skyrim opening scene. And
then everyone went... And he just crawls away
like Solid Snake, just underneath all the gaggle
people. Yeah, unless he stole the horse from
Rorikstead, and then... But basically, to give
you another idea about what Becht was willing
to do, so he becomes the Supreme Overlord of
Komar. He says, I'm in... He kills anyone who
tries to oppose him. He says, we're going to
get rid of the aristocracy. We're going to have
a cabal system where he who has the biggest army
wins. So I have the biggest cabal, so I'm automatically
in charge. Screw all of you. To give you an idea
of the lengths he's going to go to, there was
a Drukhari emperor known as El Uriak. He lived
within a sub -realm called Shadom. He had a bigger
army than Vekt. So what Vect did was he captured
a massive, to his perspective, alien ship. I
think it's something like a Grand Cruiser of
the Imperium. Massive ship. And he just sails
it in Shardom and detonates it. He blows it up,
which then tears the realm apart, floods it with
demons, and he's like, right, problem solved.
So he kills El Uriak. All the people are being
eaten by demons. And then he just goes like,
shut the door. Shut that portal. None of that,
please. Lord Archon. The second Imperial cruiser
has struck the realm. Yeah, yeah. So on the eve
of the night where Elroar reacts like, I'm going
to go take charge. Oh, bang. And then it's all
gone. His army is completely obliterated. He
killed the dragon priest, took the mask, and
sealed the doors to Sovngarde. So it's my boy.
My boy. Ain't no way a Kamara sub -realm is Sovngarde.
Incorrect buzzers. No. Maybe you could call it
Govansad. Anyway. I know what the name is a reference
to. Yeah. But basically, Vex goes, okay, now
I'm really, really, really, like, I've cemented
my position. Every time someone tries to kill
him, they're horrifically tortured in public
displays. He makes this moving fortress called
the Corusper, I think it is. And he has these
enormous looming statues of himself, 12 of them,
that just kind of float above the populace. And
anytime he's like, I've got to let you know about
something. The eyes start glowing and his voice
projects and he's like, hear thee, hear thee.
Do as I tell you or there'll be consequences.
And he's basically unopposed for six millennia.
He's doing great. He's having a great time. Anyone
who tries to cause problems is dealt with. But
there is a big problem that Vect really likes
to take advantage of. And there are these things
called disjunctions. And a disjunction is basically
like a tectonic shift in the web way. which completely
imperils Komara for like demonic invasion. So
it's like, imagine like it's the equivalent of
a breach in the Imperial Webway project caused
by, I see you in the chat, Mike, caused by a
guy who absolutely did everything wrong called
Magnus. Like imagine that kind of like hole in
the wall where demons start flooding through
and eating all of your friends. That's the problem.
The glory hole of demons. Sorry, I apologize.
You had to say it. You had to do it. And over
the millennia, Komora has had several disjunctions,
and every one of them Vect has taken advantage
of to cement himself with more power. One of
which I read about in the Drukhari trilogy books,
where a trio of Archons are like, I've had enough
of Vect. Let's go to Shardom, that place where
the old Drukhari Emperor was, and let's like...
resurrect him. Because here's the thing about
Drukhari, they can resurrect each other. They
use these weird arcane arts to just be like,
nah, respawn. But it usually has a high cost.
And so what they do is they go to an exodite
well, they go, originally Illithian the Archon,
who's like the main conspirator, goes to Shardom.
He speaks with like the maiden of El Uriak, who's
like a ghost. She's like a demon -infused wraith.
And she's like... Only a pure heart can revive
him now he's been gone for six millennia or ten
millennia or whatever it is. And he goes, okay.
So he takes his... He gets his alliance to go
to Shardom and take the skull of El Uriak. Then
he goes to an exodite world and steals a world
singer. And then the world spirit of the exodite
maiden world goes mental. He's like, that's my
lady! And chaos ensues. So they steal her and
basically just, like, torture her so much in
the presence of El Uriac's body that he's resurrected.
Unfortunately, it happens, like, Belophonus,
the homunculi, is like, this could take, like,
a few weeks, a few years if we're unlucky. Happens
instantly. They're like, oh, that's weird. Turns
out leaving the skull of a dead Archon in a demon,
like, drenched realm. might have a bedfellow
join him into Komara. And here's what causes
disjunctions. If ever there's a big psychic phenomenon,
or it's going to upset the balance of... Komara
is like... Imagine a boat on the tip of a ravine,
and it's just lurching over the edge, and if
you put everyone at one side, it just goes into
the abyss. That's kind of what the disjunctions
do. They give a... uh like a tremor in the in
the war and so they revive el uriak he's full
of demon he's got a demon in him and they do
manage to kill him but then it's like ah that's
still like now given a uh it's given an opportunity
for nur and sinch to cause mayhem in komora and
so long story short um the conspirators are brought
to justice the disjunction is ended but then
there's also something called a great which was
caused by a lady called Ivraine. And in the 41st
millennium, there was this lady. She wasn't called
Ivraine then, but it doesn't matter. She was
dueling this other lady, who's usually very scantily
clad, called Lelith Hesperax, within her crucibale,
which can seat a million viewers, which is crazy.
And they're having a duel. Lelith kills Ivraine.
And then the Eldar, God of the Dead, goes, oh,
I'm having that, and infuses her with, like,
his emissary powers. And it goes nuts. Like,
Komora, it's, like, sirens everywhere, like,
demons, demons, demons, demons. And then it's,
like, it's called the Great Disjunction because
it completely ruins Komora. Like, to this day,
there are demons still prowling around quarantine
parts of the city because it was such a big tear
in the webway. And the problem is now in the
state of 40K. you got vecked he had his whole
power base is built on the foundation of you
will fall in line because if you annoy me not
only am i going to like give you a painful death
but then i'll also let you die and then slanesh
will eat you and it'll be even worse and you'll
never get the better of me because i've been
around for six millennia and i've never been
defeated now this lady comes out of nowhere It's
like, I'm the god of death's, like, best lady.
And now she's like, oh, if you join me, I can
actually protect your soul from Lanesh because
my, like, my best bud, Inayad, he's the god of
the dead. He can just, like, stop you from being
eaten. That's pretty good. And so a lot of Drukhari,
including Lelith Hesperax, are like, oh, that's
quite a good deal. But true to form... in Lelev's
book there is a conversation between them where
she's like I'm serving you but if you ever let
me down I will kill you again because I'm only
in it for myself and it's like that's a Drukhari
right there and so basically the Drukhari's entire
part of the great cycle of Warhammer is that
or the great wheel as the Eldar call it is they're
on a continual continual like journey to just
just just survive another day there's no great
plan there's just have some space coke and survive
till tomorrow and then what you do tomorrow i'm
gonna get up and i'm gonna oh i'm gonna oh i'm
gonna whip someone oh that'll be fun then what's
the day after that oh call someone names that'll
make me feel better i look younger what about
the day after that i'll just i'll just do it
all over again and now there's this element of
they have a hopeful future perhaps um Also worth
mentioning, the Harlequins are not Drukari, but
they work a lot with them. And some of them are
like working behind the scenes because they're
also like, ah, my daddy protects me from Slaanesh
eating me, which is a good thing for them. And
one of them, Motley, who's very prevalent in
the books, is all like, I want to unite the Eldar
as like a once again united species because he's
all like, all the factions have their own foibles.
But they also have their own strengths. And he's
like, we need the Drukhari. We need the exodites.
We need the craft worlds. And if rain comes along
and it's like, oh, I see. I see what you're up
to. We can all just be in Ahri and that would
be great. And Vect hates this. So he's now sending
as many assassins as he can to try and kill Evrain.
Whilst also stopping demons from eating everyone
in Komara. But also partaking in lots of like
carnivals of pain and torment within the arenas
and having games. And yeah, in a nutshell, that's
the Drukhari. They are peculiar. They don't use
psychic powers. And they like to turn people
into flesh -bominations, I guess you'd call them.
Something like that. I saw someone complaining
online, you know, every 40k faction has their
own overused joke. And, you know, fair is fair.
The Dark Eldar definitely have to turn you into
a thing that is usually not made out of people
as theirs. But it's less of a joke with them.
It's more of a threat. It seems like a tough
time to be a Dark Eldar fan. Sounds like the
lore has made being a Drukhari pretty much redundant.
Because the Inari exists now. The thing is, it's
tricky because... Go for it, Colin. It's... It
was like, the Dark Eldar involvement was early
-ish, you know, in the Inari plotline. It was
like, you know, it's the big Scooby -Doo chase
out of Kamara. So it's like, you know, there
was still some interesting stuff left. Vex got
to reconsolidate power, which he kind of did,
because he came back to life. in a way that isn't
the normal homunculus brings you back with the
funny thing. So, you know, it's some do it. What's
he going to do with this? How is this, you know,
how is your brain going to respond? What are
the craft worlders going to do? What they're
going to do is all lose. Oh, no, they're all
going to win a battle against a massive Slaanesh
army, but then they're all going to hate each
other again, and Eldrad's going to just go home.
He's so sick of the Inari plotline, he's just
left. Canonically, by the way. Speaking of homunculus,
though, before we could describe what homunculus
are, but should we get to some of the donates
before we get to the individual units? I will
go through the units and then some of the characters
as well, and then if there's anything that I've
missed, we can go through that as well. This
one from Bunny Cop. Lunchtime Law Crimes. Leading
Lelith lecture and leveraging lonely law criminals
live. Good timing. Finally get to sit down and
watch you guys live. Good alliteration. Thank
you, brother. Yeah, that was a bit of a tongue
twister there. Sigvald took over for a minute.
Surreptitiously serving soup. Antonio Ranza for
20 euros. Thank you, man. Thank you very much.
Colin, would you like to read this one since
I think it's for you, buddy? Of course. Boy,
I didn't know it was for me at first because...
Twilight there. For Cullen. Incorrect, but thank
you for the 20 euros. How much time and how good
would Marathi find herself among the Dark Eldar
with magic available and the fact she is the
best MAMI? It's all caps. Tell me your thoughts.
I think she'd probably get in pretty good with
the Mandrakes, at least in AOS Marathi, because
she's got a lot of shadow magic stuff. She is,
however, a wizard in Kamara, and they don't like
that. They would probably try and get her killed
as quick as possible. Like, if you just dropped
her in Kamara, she'd probably die. After taking
out, you know, a good amount of people with her.
Optimus Jedi. Crazy name. He looked at the $4
.99. Soneshi Cultist. I refer to F my victims
to death, then turn them into furniture. Dark
Eldar. And I took that kind of personally. Thank
you very much. This is a dark themed episode.
My God. Law crimes, littlest piggy. Oh, that's
so cute. Five bucks. F Lucius. Why does nobody
say this? F Lucius. F Lucius. F Lucius. Lucius.
Lucius. We don't say that because Lucius is the
goat. That's why he's the goat. I'll mention
him later on. I promise. Main event, Virgil.
And OG, thank you for that $10 from Europe. Back
after a few weeks of having better stuff to do.
What could be better than this? Just caught up
on the opinions, Vod. I was not there for that.
Hal, your take on my opinion was so bad, I'm
going to sub to your channel just so I can unsub.
More Primarks. Wow. Wow. The piggy bank is back.
I may have just read Galaxy in Flames. May Lucius
OD in a bathroom. Very good. That's not even
like a... That's just a real threat. That's dark,
man. Speaking of homunculus... I'm not going
to say that. Sure. Thank you for the five pounds.
You guys going to talk about that Dracari lady
who talks to her mirror with a French accent?
By the way, watch Sinner's good film, Attempt
to Character Limit. I respect the grind to hit
the end. I would like to see the movie at some
point. Lady Malice is her, the clown lady, I
believe. Is that her name? I believe so. She's
like Vect's jilted lover. Interesting. Optimus
Jedi for another five bucks. Would you rather
bang Yvraine or Lilith Hesperos? Lilith will
probably suck out your soul. Brackets. Giggity.
But Yvraine has been hollowed out by Big Bobby
G. Wow. Actually, that's not canon. That's not
canon. They're just friends. They're just friends.
They're not even friends. They're not even friends.
On the week a new pope drops, by the way, are
you going to say this stuff? Pancreas, Sicilies,
Clown, Fiber, Collins, Chicago Pope, the sun
will never set on the Holy of Illinois Empire.
By the mandate of the Holy See, the cheese is
under the stars. American Pope. I've seen a lot
of... I've seen a lot... There's like a drink
that is like... It's like a Chicago pizza in
a specific brand of drink. like the bread of
Christ and the wine of Christ. You don't have
ketchup on hot dogs? Here we do. In Chicago.
There is elitism in certain places. In New York,
they're like, you don't put ketchup on a hot
dog. That's just crazy. I mean, ketchup and mustard
is a must. Literally. It's inedible without it.
Imagine eating raw dog. I think there's a...
I wish... This is still on the Pope thing. I'm
a little bit lost. Can you put down the new Warhammer
stats for the new Pope? How many wounds does
he have? How many JD Vance visits could he survive?
No, there's a cardinal that a priest who's a
family friend of ours knew, and he was also,
because new Pope was in the running for... papacy
as a cardinal. And I really wish he won, because
then I would have tried to bother the priest
to let me go talk to the Pope. Go on your buddies
with him, right? I really want to talk to the
Pope. We roll wounds of one. Wow, that's crazy.
Just there, like, talking to the Pope. He's like,
alright, young man, what do you want to say?
What do you think of the new Eldar lore? What?
Is this too insensitive to say that Pope Francis
is in deep strike? Is that too insensitive? Oh
my gosh. Is that too far? Sorry. Oh dear. He
failed his four up so his living saint rule didn't
trigger. He didn't. And that's damned my soul.
Here's something that I can bring it back to
the thing. Speaking of living saints, so fun
fact about the Drukhari. They only really worship
one of two things. They worship Cain, because
he's a bit of a fighty boy. But they also have
things called dark muses, which are like demigods.
And they're like the equivalent of living saints
for Drukhari. And so there's like a dark muse
who is like the master of poisons. And there's
like the dark muse of like kinky stuff. And Azdrabail
Vect, to give you an idea, or... illustrated
his own assassination then invited all the archons
to his funeral and most of them showed up then
ordered some harlequins to kill all of the archons
then when he revived they revived all the archons
and the ones he knew were going to betray him
were like transformed into like grotesque abominations
the ones loyal he was like be thankful like i
brought you back from like death that's that's
the alpha legion brains kind of schemes vect
comes up with like oh i'm the i'm the living
muse now i i orchestrated my own death you can't
get me now no no no that's that's vect how many
drew kari have access to the homunculus uh immortality
glitch uh well well here's the thing uh i'm about
to go through the the kind of the elite so every
cabal is run by an archon and an archon is like
the ruling class they're the equivalent of like
what used to be the nobles of the pleasure cults.
They're appointed through acts alone. Like, for
example, the second biggest cabal of the Flayed
Skull is led by this guy who used to be a reaver
in the arenas. He fought his way to the top,
even had a fight with Lucius Eternal, got killed,
came back very cross about it, wants a rematch.
And these guys are all massive manipulators,
really good at fighting. They don't have Drukhari
bodyguards because they know what Drukhari are
like and they're going to get stabbed in the
back. So they get like mercenary species like
the Sliff, which are essentially the lair. They're
just lair. They're the lair species. And they
deserve to have models. They deserve to have
their models back. Yeah. And they have Lamians.
They have Medusa. They have Urgals. And Archons
are very powerful. They're the ones who do the
raiding and everything. But to be a successful
Cabal, you also need alliances with... the uh
the homunculi covens and the homunculi are not
beholden to anyone but themselves but if you
want to get lots of experimentations done with
living subjects you need a cabal to go and like
catch them in nets so if you want to devote your
life to being like i'm going to make this horrible
thing i have to spend all my time stitching and
cutting things in half and stowing them back
together and grinning you kind of need an archon
to be like to be in service of so that they can
do the capturing and bringing you spoils. So
they're kind of like retainers. Some of them
will defect to other cabals. Some of them put
the loyalty to their covens above that of their
archon. Because again, Drukhari, they're all
duplicitors, backstabbers. And such is their
whimsy. Some of them even invited Fabius Bile
to the Dark City to be like, hey, we kind of
find it amusing that this Monkai is trying to
do what we do, but worse. All right, mate, come
on. We'll teach you how to properly do it for
a few weeks. And Fabius is like, ah, brilliant.
I get to study with the Covens. Lovely. And they
are also the gatekeepers of, if you want to be
revived from death, they're the only ones who
know how to do it. Did he help them make the
Flesh Tower? I think he helped them make the
wailing living tower of people. Yeah, it's just
there. It's a work exchange, you know? James,
why is the building noisy? Why is the building
crying? Why is the foundation yelling at me?
Yeah, it doesn't... Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like
their evil geniuses for the last bajillion years.
The door handles from New York. I can tell by
the accent. He's like a puppy. But yeah. And
generally speaking, if you want to be resurrected.
Instead of using spirit stones, there are some
rituals and roughly, kind of like what happened
with El Uriak, the longer you've been dead, the
bigger a catalyst you need. And when I say a
catalyst, I mean someone to horrendously torture
so that you can infuse their suffering into your
corpse and be like, respawn! If I remember correctly,
too, you can get away, like, you don't need your
whole corpse. Like, honestly, I think a hand
will do. Yeah, even like a pinky. Where did their
souls stay, though, for that time? They just
get schlorped out of the warp, so for a little
bit, they're in a bad place. So are they being
tormented by Slaanesh until they get resurrected,
or are they negligible enough that she doesn't
find them? I think they are, and if I remember
correctly, that's also part of the reason why
you need more to get you out. It's because, A,
you've been in Slaanesh's gut for longer, you've
got to spend more energy. And also, they don't
like to do it if it's been too long because it'll...
Pardon me. The longer you've been there, yeah,
the more likely it is she's going to notice and
be like, no, give me that back. Yeah. And again,
that's the whole thing with the disjunction.
El Uriac had been dead for millennia and they
were like, we can't just use any suffering. We
need to get a world singer. which is really hard
to find, like grab that. And it has to be like
a young one that's innocent. And that's why when
we torture her, it's going to be delightful.
Like that's what these guys are about. There's
no subtlety. Nothing but authenticity here. No.
Also to have a successful cabal, you need to
ally with a witch cult. Witch cults are the lady,
not all ladies, but typically they're depicted
as ladies who are like acrobatic jewelists from
the arenas of Comorah. They're led by a grand
or a succubus, a succubus or a grand succubus
like Lelef Hesperax has the biggest witch cult.
She has the cult of strife. She's allied to Vect.
So the biggest cabal has the biggest witch cult.
And there's a whole thing in like her book about,
oh, she's helping the Inari, but who's going
to take the place of her cult? And there's like
this whole thing where she's like negotiating.
No, you're still going to use my cult. I'm just
going to also do this on the side. So it's an
interesting political thing. They regularly have
fights among their leadership to tell who's going
to be in charge. So in order to be the leader
of a witch cult, you have to assassinate the
current one. And that's how they stay sharp because
that's what they do. But obviously they're not
as powerful as Archons. Archons are the leader
class. You can get pretty far if you're a succubus.
Another interesting role are the incubus or incubi.
They're weirdos. They're cool. They are cool.
They're basically the equivalent of an aspect
warrior. And they wear this heavy plate. They
wield things called claves, which they believe
are like the optimal weapon. Look at this hook
at the end. It's brilliant. I like the weight
of it. Look at this big... can either have like
a clave or two demi -claves they're rumored to
be descended from the teachings of the first
fallen phoenix lord of the striking scorpions
known as ara and so they have like shrines which
live in like not pocket dimensions but they have
hidden shrines all throughout kimura where for
example in the second of the trilogy an exodite
called more follows he follows like he sees the
spirit of ara on his like destroyed planet and
he walks to like this weird gateway he finds
himself in the shrine and he basically becomes
an incubus and they are all about just we are
mercenaries we are bodyguards you will pay us
in fights so that we can hone our skills and
become better warriors they're very stoic uh
not honorable per se but they do have glimmers
of of decorum like drazhar the living sword who's
their um greatest duelist never speaks possibly
the same guy as our just like that there is even
a thing where like james are and him fight he
kills james are the first time then she's resurrected
by inead and she's a bit stronger and then she
kills him and then a lady drukari warrior puts
on his armor and then becomes the new drasar
so like ah it's like a it's like a phoenix lord
been going on here It looks like that might be
Aura, I'm just saying. And their whole thing
is just, yeah, we like fighting and we're good
at it. Pay me in battles, please. They better
give us a Carandras and Jazar fight as penance
for getting rid of his model for the entire edition.
He's supposed to be looking for it. Even when
we get a big update, we can't get an update.
Bruh. Bruh. I'm playing World Eaters right now.
You guys did alright, okay? You guys did all
right. I got one model. The one model. Whenever
Hal loses, he whinges. Really? I love the venom.
You said really. That was great. I can't use
my model. Look at my model. Look at my well -painted
model. Peachy, look at my model. Well painted.
All right, all right. Get him out of here. Hold
on, if I do that, how's that? Is that better?
Very good. I must say, can I still do that? Only
joking. Only joking. There we go. My one iron
hand because they never get any lore. I'll put
him on mute. There we go. So, yeah. So, we also
have racks. Racks are the bodyguards of the homunculi
because they like to keep it in house. These
are the ones that volunteer and they look pretty
disgusting. They have their hands chopped off
and grafted with metal gauntlets. They're pumped
with drugs and they are very loyal and they volunteer
because they're just like, I want to be such
a good guy for my master. I have no talent with
scalpels or surgery, so I'll just defend him
as like his best boy and capture things for him.
The ones that... don't volunteer oh yeah they
have like stretched torsos with like they look
kind of like corsets of iron they have like iron
helmets on so you can't see their face and there's
just like a lot of grunting going on behind it
uh but there's also the um the grotesques which
are the ones that don't volunteer they're just
like you're being punished stretch the skin wrap
it in metal oh look at all these bone protrusions
coming out of your back that's funny and they
kind of do the same thing but they are they are
practically um like drones they don't really
have sentience they barely understand what's
going on to them they have kill commands and
it's like go and they just they go they go from
kind of shuffling after their masters to sprinting
after their enemies and capturing stuff or killing
enemies. And if the homunculi dies and they haven't
told this thing to stop killing, oh, you're going
to have to put that thing down because it's not
stopping. And again, the homunculi will probably
get revived anyway, so it's not a big deal. The
grotesques are expendable. You also have Kabalite
Trueborn. Trueborn are weird. Their only real
trait is that they are born the traditional way,
because most people in Qamara are made with,
you know, like petri dishes and needles. They're
the kind of bat born. So to be like a natural
Drukhari is pretty rare because you live in Qamara.
Could you imagine being a pregnant lady in Qamara?
That's pretty bad. Could you imagine being a
baby? for like seven like a kid or a baby for
like 18 years before you're an adult in comera
that would suck and so therefore they are treated
as like these rare special like nepo babies almost
and they are given like the best gear they they
only fight with fellow trueborn because they
see themselves as better than other comrades
and they are they are the elite warriors of each
cabal, and they're quite up themselves. You also
have Hecatrix Bloodbrides, which are the most
skilled witches. They can also be different ranks,
like Sirens, and there's a whole hierarchy for
the witches. And then you get the Mandrakes.
Mandrakes are weird. Mandrakes lurk in this sub
-dimension called Eilindrach, which is this shadowy
demon realm thing. And the Drukhari are like,
are they demons? I don't know. Some of them are
like, I've heard that if a Drukhari and a demon
love one another, you get a Mandrake. They don't
know, but they're just like, well, look at that
thing. It's scary. I can't turn into a shadow.
There's a horror novel based on one of them,
isn't it? The Mandrake is, there's a noble imperial
family that have like a secret oubliette dungeon.
And the secret of how the family were able to
keep themselves in power was that they actually
had a mandrake that was... They were offering
it kills and corpses and things, and it would
kill their political enemies if they just gave
it a bit more meat sort of thing. Yeah, because
these guys, they don't just serve Drukhari, they
serve the highest bidder. And they're weird,
because they won't just be like, I want cash
money. They'll be like, I want the heart of an...
BT's judge. I want a true name as payment. I
want the nasal hair of Typhus the Traveler. It's
like, where am I going to get that? It's like,
okay, this is a weird trade. And no one knows
quite what they're up to. They teleport through
shadows. They steal life energy from their enemies
and can cast Bale Blasts, which are like ice.
And whenever one's approaching, frost permeates
around where their shadows are coalescing. One
of them, the most successful of them, Caradruark
fought Vulcan and almost won until Vulcan was
like strobe lights on his cool hammer. And then
it like shoots a beam of light and he's like,
and he scuttles away. And also he likes to collect
skulls. He's called the decapitator. His whole
thing is. Well, I'll tell you what he does. He
has a whole chamber in Alendrak with a collection
of skulls. including the skull of the former
Mandrake kings, who were brothers, which now
stare at each other, flensed of skin. And if
he, like, takes the skin off, like an orange,
and is like, this sucks, he'll just smash it
and go for another one. And then he actually
managed to fill his, like, chamber with enough
skulls. So now Komara also has, like, this shadow
permeated from his throne room, which is eating
demons and other things. It's actually eating
demons. What is going on with the mandrakes?
There's some mystery around the skull chamber.
If he gets enough skulls, he makes a portal to
hell or something. I think that's what happened
with the Inari plotline. He finally got the last
skull he needed, so then it flooded into the
breach of demons and just... Now Kamara's part
of the shadow realm. Dark Eldar are scared of
mandrakes. That's how scary they are. Vect is
scared of mandrakes, and he employs them. But,
you know, it's like that whole thing of South
Park, where... If you say Biggie Smalls into
a mirror three times, it's the same with a mandrake.
Spooky goobers who appear out of nowhere. It's
unintentionally really funny because I've read
comments from people from previous editions,
and I think mandrakes were so ass, you would
buy mandrakes and pretend they were something
other than mandrakes. Yeah, they were really,
really awful. It's like, oh, you're playing mandrakes?
No, that's a witch. Don't look at it too closely.
I think mandrakes infiltrate, don't they, at
the moment? I think they've done that forever
and ever. Makes sense. But there's still probably
just a cheap screening unit that does nothing
other than screen and hold the middle objective
for a couple turns. But that is better than what
they apparently used to be. Yeah, I guess. That's
the standard. We also have Beastmasters. Rip
their models. You know what they do. If you're
a Dark Elder fan right now, you're missing like
half of your model line. I think that's... Something
that should be said. You have like 10 models
on GW. Yeah. Beastmasters have beasts. What more
do you want me to say? Scourges. Scourges are
birds. They're kind of like birds. Fish me their
souls, dogs. Those are the ones that kind of
look like they're like a dark elf and like a
harpy. Kind of. Yeah, they're basically They're
really weird because they're very useful. What
they tend to do is they patrol Comora for trespassers.
And when they find them, they pluck them and
then they just like drop them on the spires to
be impaled on. So that's pretty brutal. So like
all the tallest like spires of Comora is just
like lots of like bodies that have been impaled
and be like, yoink, plop. They're also a weird
protected class because they are messengers and
they like... They loom on the towers of Komorra
and they listen to gossip and they transfer messages
between Archons. So if you target them, it's
basically a death penalty. You don't attack the
Skeletons. They're too useful. In a web of manipulations
and lies that is the foundation of our economy
and everything that goes on with our power structure,
you do not attack the Berbmen. Leave the Berbmen
alone. you don't do it wow can you imagine if
you like there's a weekend at bernie's thing
or like um a hangover part four or something
you accidentally kill a harpy and you've got
to cover it up because it's the worst thing ever
oh no vex vex found out it's time to get to kind
of pat the back time to pat the skin suitcases
and run well there is a part in one of the books
where one of the archons gets a message and he's
so angry about what it says He's like, I really
want to rip the face off this scourge, but I
can't because it would be a crime. And he's like,
do you need anything else from me, master? I'm
angry. Go away before I do something I shouldn't.
And they're quite weird. And the last ones I
think are of note are the pain engines. I love
them. Favorite models. What if he had something
worse than being a dreadnought or a penitent
engine? The pain engine. Because unlike a Dreadnought,
where it kind of sucks that you're like a limbless
stump, but you can at least fight for the Emperor
and that brings you joy. Unlike a Penitent Engine,
where you're kind of like a battery for a gigantic
murder machine, this thing is a mobile tank that
will grab you, stuff you inside it, and torture
you to fuel it. And it's used as punishment.
There's a cabal that makes weapons. I can't remember
which one it is off the top of my head. But they
are really well -regarded craftsmen. They have
a particular pain engine called the Observer,
I think it is. And it basically just, if you're
slacking, it grabs you, stuffs you inside, and
encourages the other workers not to miss their
quotas. That's what they're about. They're crazy.
Is there also, it's the, it reminds me, was it
the Kronos and the Talos, isn't it? Yes, yeah,
there's two. There's one that's like the Talos.
I think the Talos is... I'd have to check in
my notes. I think to describe it, it's kind of
like it's a malformed body that slightly hovers
off the ground. It has like a tail, like armor
panels and injection parts and built into it.
So the main difference with the Kronos Parasite
engine is... It leeches the life energy from
its subject, and then it kind of releases that
into the immediate area and heals its allies
in battle. So sometimes cabals will be like,
I want that. Can I borrow that for a raid? I'm
doing a quick raid. Can I borrow that? And they're
like, yeah, sure. And this is the idea of this
thing, just going, yoink, and you hear some screaming
guy go, ah! And then it releases this prune -like
body of what once was. completely drained of
life, and you're like, that's horrible, no thanks,
I don't want any of that, please. That's been
in the water too long. Yeah, she gets dragged
into it, and E .T. comes out. Yeah, yeah. And
then the Talos one is the one with, like, basically
knives, right? Yeah. More torture device. That's
more just fun. Can't go wrong with a good old
knife. Yeah. I say, if anyone, um, Particularly
for, I know it's not much of it, but in Horus
Heresy slash Great Crusade lore, we kind of only
really encounter them. Funny enough, we spoke
about Vulcan and Salamanders earlier. But Vulcan,
when he was on his homeworld, the first time
he picks up his hammers and is like, time to,
you know. kick gum and chew ass and i'm all out
of it you know um he picks up the hammers because
drew kari are raiding his um homeworld of nocturne
and they're picking up humans for slaves he runs
out killed manages to kill i think a hundred
of them supposedly in the legends and um was
there there's still isn't there was a there's
a web what webway gate that's beneath Nocturne,
I think they use in the Horus Heresy later. But
supposedly that was how the Drukhari were accessing
places like Nocturne, or even to the modern 40k
timeline, they access valuable slave areas. When
Vulcan fights Keradruark, he's like, I remember
you, you killed my friends, do you still remember
their names? And he was like, that's when he
does... Vulcan always... has like a catchphrase
or like a or a statement before he does like
something awesome when he's just like i'm gonna
activate the torch on my hammer and he goes you
never did like the light whack and then like
hits him with the thing breaks his arms and he
scurries away csi miami scream yeah yeah basically
Before we get to characters, should we go through
some donations? Yes. That's a horrible message
I just read in a dono. Colin, would you like
to take this one? Sure, sure. Not this one. This
one's good. Nimrod the Ape. That name is also
good. Thank you for the 10 CA. Finally get to
watch a live show and give some support. Thank
you. What better thanks for Colin getting me
to finally read Godric and Felix, which I finished
this week. Hell yeah. And only cried for a few
hours at the end. Yeah. Don't cry because it's
over, man. Cry because it happened and it was
beautiful. Donkey Man USA. Crazy. Thank you for
the five dollars. Calling you Slime Cheese goes
over the sauce, you shit lord. Wow. Wow. No,
this is pizza. Chicago, like, the sauce, cheese
can be under the sauce. It's still pizza. You
animal. Cheese is under the sauce. Wow. Antonio
Ranza for five euros. The Skaven have called
the Eldar. Wait, the Skaven have called the Eldar
or the Drukhari. Colin, I believe this is...
That was, like, the end times when the Skaven
accidentally called the Eldar. I don't think
it was ever really specified. It was just...
It was elves, but they sounded alien, which...
Eldar? Crazy, yeah. Eldar? Do you guys know the
TV show Phone Jacker? Do you remember that? Oh,
no, it's like a British show. It's like a prank
call show. Hello! Hello, I'm in the webway! Yeah,
it's shit. It's a super elite prank, like a faux
prank show back in the day. Yeah. Bunny Cop,
thank you for the $5 and the good opinion. A
hot dog should have tomato, mustard, relish,
chopped onions, a pickled spear, and a small
pepper. And no ketchup, so saith the new Pope.
Amen. No ketchup? That sounds like a good hot
dog. Chicago -style ketchup. You're not supposed
to put... or Chicago style hot dog. You're not
supposed to put ketchup on. I do put on ketchup
and I do remove the onions. Everything else is
great. And at the end of the day, I think it's
very funny that Americans are treating their
hot dogs with elitism like it's like sushi or
something. We're eating pig guts. The reason
they say they put ketchup on, because it's like,
hey, you'll get away from the meat. The meat's
got the flavor. Eli, isn't your fucking country's
national food fries with gravy on it? Yeah, that's
good. That's good. Poutine's great. Can I ask
a question? Does the hot dog have, like, is it
raw onions on it, or is it cooked on it? Either
raw or usually just raw. There's no poutine elitism
either. We don't care what you put on your poutine.
It's fast food. Why do you hate raw onion? It's
onion. I mean, it should. I don't like onion,
but like, what? Moving on. RT23. 10 pounds. I
love how gone the deep end, the Deldar are, that
Lucius the Eternal once visited one. He was like,
ah, you're a cutie. Innocent puppy. I'll play
with you for a bit. Yeah. I'll mention Lucius
later on. They're not good people. I felt the
worst. Sure. Another OG of Lord Prime. Sing of
the Five Dogs. You changed your PFP. The Dark
Eldar are cruel for forcing us to wait for GTA
6. I can't wait for that game to be so hated
because it can't live up to the hype. I can't
wait for it to never come out. We'll probably
get a new Drucaria range before we get Elder
Scrolls 6, okay? You can bet on that political
betting website, I don't remember what it's called,
but you can bet on if GTA 6 will come out in
2025 or not. And I think someone put like 10
grand on it. I think it's already confirmed now
it's not so that guy's going to the bank. The
only GTA game I've played was the first one.
I'm so sorry. Huh? Wow. Yeah. Here's the horrid
comment. I wish Lucius a very 177013. Don't worry,
I put in the missing digit for you. Without Josuke.
That's particularly foul. I don't know what that
is. I don't want to know what it is. I don't
want to know. Bad. Don't, uh, serious. Cyrus.
Another I in there for some reason. If Droogie
are so perverse in order to save themselves from
Snesha's gluck gluck, does that mean they engage
in the most perverse of art? Colon's like snuggling
gentle fandom. Femdom, sorry. Take your anime
bullshit out of here. Wow. There's nothing wrong
with gentle hand -holding and snuggling, I'll
have you know. Thank you for the $10. Now, add
to me this before we riddle me this, Batman.
Could the Duke Kari just go live on a craft world
and it would be fine? Or is it because they were
originally too close to the eye? So they could
just stop doing this at any time. Correct. Yeah,
they don't even need a soul stone. If they join
Inari, it's like, hey, you can just bring me
back. It does technically give them life, but
they're also awful. But regular Eldar aren't
having their souls drained all the time, are
they? They don't have to deal with that as much.
The thing was, before the Inari, it was like,
you get a spirit stone, and we put you to rest,
or Homunculi are going to torture someone or
a bunch of people to bring you back. it's also
like the lifestyle the craft worlders live like
prevents any of that because they're so like
aesthetic oh and um and the exodites it's like
your body goes into the world spirit yeah and
so then it's like a coalition of dead people
just fun i thought it was the um the the mass
torture part slash uh taking in life force that
was to extend their life not to That makes them
immortal, basically. It doesn't mean that they...
Without it, I assume they would live to the same
length as a normal Eldar. There is also something
called... They have the first, not the Blood
Angel first, another one. For example, if an
Incubus doesn't kill someone for a while, they
have a chance of becoming called... I think it's
the... What's it called? the parched they become
one of the parched and then they become like
you know like the dark souls one enemies in the
asylum that just kind of wander around obviously
you become a hollow hollow like a proper one
shout out to flame torch hollows hardest enemy
in the game yeah shout out to the spy hand For
five Canadian buckaroos. I hate it when Colin
says, blessed Sigma. Go on, Colin. Blessed Sigma.
I feel like I'm being shilled out for cash. I
had to change my pants. Blessed Sigma. Also,
happy birthday, Colin. Happy birthday, Colin.
Thanks, man. It's almost four months since it
happened, but every week I'm more than happy
to hear you say it. Yeah. Tom Warren, thank you
for the $2. The Delta are the reason we won't
get Titanfall 3. That's a crazy statement. That's
not true. They're not as evil as the company
known as Electronic Arts. And last one for now.
William Knight with the $2. Remember to buy your
mother something, y 'all. It's a good thing you
said that, actually. I think in a different country
because ours is not. Yeah, got a while. That's
wrong and dumb. I'm sorry. Is this how we all
do it? Some of my cousins are American. My uncle,
who grew up here, was talking about how he was
new to celebrating July 4th. I said, isn't that
really weird for you? Because no one else really
celebrates that. I mean, yeah, that's American
Independence Day. Wasn't there a different Independence
Day celebration nearly every day? Every three
days from the UK. Yeah. I mean, technically,
that's my one today. It's not as bombastic. That's
the UK's chief export is Independence Day. All
that tea in the harbour. So yeah, I guess we'll
now... go through some characters. Just before
I forget, he's a really minor character to start
off with. There's this guy called Lord Helion
Saffarnix. He's not been around since 5th edition,
which is a shame. To bring home the point, you
don't bring psychers to Komora. This guy went
raiding. He was part of the Slashed Eye Cabal.
He brought a Farseer back, and it was such a
bad idea, his cabal kicked him out and tried
to ruthlessly hunt him. To the point where he's
now like the criminal underworld's like boss.
And now he basically subsists on like, Hey guys,
we're going to like back to the future, future
style, riding our boards and cause mayhem. And
that's Saffronix. But it's just like, that's
how seriously they take psychers. You don't bring
psychers to Komara. It's a bad idea. And he still
has the severed head and remains of them, and
he uses them to scry the future to evade being
assassinated, which is kind of cool. Did we mention
how the Drukhari have lost their ability to use
psychic powers? Yeah. They basically have, through
not using it, atrophied it like a muscle. They
could still use it, and to be fair, some... Drukhari
do go mad and start going back to using psychic
powers, but that's when Vect Cabal brings in
the guns. That's when the secret police come
to unperson you. Like a stopper. Yes. You're
getting chaired. Yeah. Because you'll see an
eruption of some demons. Like, what is that?
Oh, God. Not again. Is it Barry? Barry's been
dabbling in the sauce again. What other ones
have we got? We've got Urien Rakath is like the
oldest known homunculus. He was there since the
fall. This is the guy that brought Azrabel Vect
back from the grave and helped collaborate. He's
known as the sculptor of torments. And this guy
is so full of himself, he even criticizes Rabute
Giliman's Primaris. And he's all like, oh, actually,
I think. I took him into my oubliette and had
a chat with this Gilliman fellow. I'm sure I
could do a better job. Of all the mad scientists,
you've got Fabius, you've got Belisarius, you've
got Urien, and you've got Sarek. Urien's probably
the most sadistic of the four, which is saying
something. Because Fabius is in that. Fabius
has a weapon called the Rod of Torment, and he's
not the worst. What is going on? We've already
mentioned Lelith Hesperax, but she's pretty cool.
She's the greatest duelist to ever live in the
arenas. Killed of Rain, pretty cool. She basically
now serves as Rain's bodyguard. Her book is a
bit, in my opinion, hit and miss. I liked some
bits, I disliked others. I thought it was a bit,
it's a very short book and there are plodding
moments, but it is interesting that at one point
she basically puts a knife to Vect's throat.
And she's like, hey, buddy, I'm going to do my
own thing. And you're going to try and you're
going to stop trying to assassinate me. And he's
like, oh, yeah, you really think you really think
killing me is going to stop me? I'll come back.
And she's like, OK, I'll be such a such a petty
bitch. He's like, oh, OK, I'll humor you. Go
on then. Go off. Enjoy being with your Yonari
friends. Hope someone doesn't kill the daughter
of Shades. She's like, screw off. So that's Lelith.
She's like, she has been, there are like sources
that say she's never been wounded in battle.
She has, and she prizes any slight wound that
she's incurred from a worthy opponent. She doesn't
take any narcotics or anything. She's like the
only succubus or witch cultist who ever. has
abstained from any intoxicants because, in her
opinion, the kill is worsened if you are, like,
off your tits on, like, space dust or getting
drunk. So she's like, no, I'm abstinent with
the naughty juice. So that's my thing. Also,
her objective is she wants to capture Lucius
the Eternal because, in her opinion, if she brings
Lucius back to Comora into her crucible that
seats one million people... cuts off all his
armor and has a one -on -one fight with him it'll
be the most legit fight ever in the arena and
that's what she wants to do she's like yeah i
want to beat him up i want to beat up like slanesh's
best boy inside of a million people i want to
absolutely thrash him without his armor and see
how he likes it uh i don't know how i'm sure
that would be a bad idea because again his whole
thing is don't take pride in the kill and this
is the most like this is the most gung -ho way
to kill him imaginable No, he wins those. He
wins those. Maybe she's like, oh, Enead will
save me. He's like, okay, maybe. But that's her.
She's a bit crazy. We've already mentioned Caradharak.
We've also mentioned Drizzar. Sliskas. Trevely
of Sliskas is kind of fun. He's a corsair, because
some Drukhari can say, I don't want to live in
the city anymore. I'm going to be a pirate. Some
speculate he was trained to dance with the Harlequins,
and occasionally he moolites them for fun. He
never wears the same clothes twice. He's very
much into finer things. For fun, he tried to
raid Fenris because he looked at the space wolves
and went, those tribesmen with the swords, with
the axes and shields, they're like the ones who
eventually become space wolves. They're pretty
hardy. They look like a good challenge. I guess
I'll go capture some of them. And he did that.
And then he met Lucas the Trickster, cut out
his heart. It's like a trophy. And then is the
only one who outwitted the trickster. But for
that, he also got horribly burned by being spat
on in the face by Lucas, who has the acid spit.
And so now in both Space Wolf and Dracarys circles,
people are like, oh, the Jackal Wolf and the
Serpent, that's a great fight or good fight.
And he's also the reason that Lucas now has a
ticking time bomb in his chest because shenanigans.
So Saliscus is kind of fun. Are there any other
characters I can mention? Maw's kind of cool.
He's an incubus. He was an exodite. He goes back
to correct the world singer from the books because
he's the one who caused the disjunction. He gets
rid of the disjunction by attacking the world
spirit, winning. Motley tricks a warlock who
was very arrogant. He's like, I want to bring
him to justice. use him with like he merges the
incubus with the world spirit making this like
terrifying creature and then he like atomizes
the warlock who's being manipulated by sinch
and he saves the day you're like oh a good a
good drew card i don't know about good but probably
the goodest one we've had he's got honor i suppose
that's good relatively you know relatively yeah
yeah I think that's more or less all of them,
to be honest. There's not that many. Did I completely
not hear you say Drizzar? Because it's going
to be funny if that did happen. We did mention
Drizzar, so I can go over him, but he's again,
he's just like... He kills custodians. I know
he was mentioned earlier, but he's the character
section. He did kill three custodians in a fight.
He killed three custodians at once. He's like,
lols. Phoenix Lords are Primarch tier, but they'll
never fight. Nope. He also slaughtered an entire
hive city on his own for fun. Drizzar's mental.
And he doesn't say anything, so it's like, he's
really good at fighting, isn't he? Oh, that's
Drizzar. He's known as the Living Sword. He needs
to be a praying mantis. He's also up there for
probably most quote -unquote honorable Drukhari.
Because, one, he'll show the slightest sign of
respect towards another incubi. respects that
granted is usually like a you know a thumbs up
and then it's back to business it's you know
when he um when more goes back to his shrine
to answer for his crimes the hierarchs ignore
him and he kills a guy in a duel and he puts
his head on his trophy rack then he's ambushed
by four other guys and him and motley kill them
then there's a duel with drazhar and drazhar
kicks him up like oh not a problem not even a
scratch on his armor it's like strength versus
speed and then when he's about to kill him, he
stops, and he just kind of gives us a quick nod,
and then he leaves. He's like, that's Drasar.
He has his own motives. And he only really just
kind of cares about killing stuff, which, you
know, by Dark Eldar standards, goddamn near a
saint. Oh, he even, one of his most early recorded
deeds was he went to one of the Incubus Shrines,
waltzed in, killed the Hierarch. and instead
of taking charge of the shrine, just left. Nodded
at the corpse, and then left. Like, yeah, that's
Drazhar. He does whatever he likes, and no one
knows what he's about. He's never been seen to
eat or sleep or drink. He's just there. He is
occasionally. He's not even technically like
the... Remember, he's not even like the head
of the incubi, because he never took the position.
They just can't get rid of him. Yeah, he's just
there all the time, and he's scary. He's like...
They were all like, I want to fight alongside
him because I want to see what he's doing because
he's really skilled. But they're also like, he's
such a weirdo. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't
eat or sleep or drink. He never takes his helmet
off. What's up with that guy? To the point where
some of them are like, oh, he's just full of
fragments of bone. He's not even a person. He's
just like a spirit in some armor, maybe. Didn't
he get killed briefly, I think, by Jane Tsar?
Jane Tsar killed him. And then someone put on
his armor and then... he's a phoenix and then
all of a sudden nods walks away all right it's
100 yeah yeah 100p so there is a uh yeah that's
pretty much all the characters they have for
like a more recent like kind of fun uh drukari
law point there was something in the vaults of
terror series which is like a kind of like inquisitor
custodian style um series that focuses on things
related more closely towards terror and there's
a plot in these books where essentially the golden
throne is kind of clunking along and it's going
to fail in the next few decades if they don't
get some repairs to it and obviously for just
briefly for the people like the golden thrones
where the emperor is obviously residing his corpse
is on there um it's made from technologies of
like many different uh races like ancient technology
to like you know human golden age stuff and the
plot in this book very briefly is like the imperium
slash i think it's the inquisition they ask they
make a kind of semi alliance ish with the drukari
because they need their help in repairing the
golden throne or at least parts of it which is
crazy that they were allowed that close but it
wasn't the mechanicus make some because it's
beyond what the Mechanicus can do, and obviously
the Imperium, the Golden Throne failing means
the Emperor dies, and it means the Astronomicon
goes out, and that's bad for everybody involved.
The Drukhari, being who they are, they've had
problems since the resurrection of Yuvrain. Again,
as Andy was saying, basically demons keep invading.
I don't know what you called it earlier, Andy,
like something event? It was like a... Disjunction?
This one's pretty bad to the point in which,
like, I can't remember how they sealed it off,
but I think they had, like, blank or something
in Komorah that helped seal off certain demon
-wounded parts, and now that's just completely
gone, thanks to your brain. So Vect, basically,
the subplot is that they wish to make their own
version of the Golden Throne. They're making,
like, a Dark Throne. And they basically... are
trying to scrape off bits of genetic material
to make like a copy of the emperor of man like
a cloned emperor of mankind that they are like
a bulging massive one which has like the psychic
power to operate this fake slash copy golden
throne so that they can basically seal off parts
of camaraderie and you know basically have their
own version of like know sort of an astronomical
and it's like the m you know how the emperor
keeps demons away from you know the web way below
terror same thing uh yeah it didn't go in that
wound closed it didn't go to plan necessarily
but like let's just say components of like this
dark um throne is still somewhat i mean i i don't
want to spoil too much we may go into it like
one day because it's a good uh vols terror is
a good series of books um but yeah like they
say the drukari again like they accept the deal
but yeah they obviously did their own they're
offered different payment but they're like maybe
we can take a payment of our own um but they
essentially they kind of like it does show you
like they can make deals of races i think even
what we're seeing um for the visual um watchers
here though like there's when would anyone here
like to describe when the Tau first met the Drukhari,
because I think that's an interesting... Yeah,
Colin, would you like to describe? Yeah, so initially,
you know, this was, and I believe this lore was
written when the Tau were very much still, like,
outright naive, like good guys, as opposed to
still the good guys compared to everyone else,
but not good guys. What -o! Hello, fellow traveler!
Yeah, you know, they found the Dark Eldar, and
despite sometimes you can very much judge a book
by its cover. They were like, well, you know,
cultural differences. Let's be friends. And the
Dark Eldar, for their part, went, oh, this is
going to be fun. To be fair, they needed help
fighting the Tyranids. They did. That's one of
the key reasons. I did kind of forget about that
off rip. That's my bad. Yeah, it was also, yeah,
they did. Tyranids are a big problem. It was
as much also like, hey, you're not trying to
eat me. Give me a hand, will you? So they did.
And then the Tau, to stop being nice, then proceeded
to try and be friendly nice anyways with the
spiky psychos. So the Dark Elder exchanged, hey.
Let's do a cultural exchange. We'll take some
of your guys. We'll bring them back to Kamara.
You can learn all about our culture. It's what
you're all about, right? You want to learn about
the galaxy, yeah? Tau jumped on it. Watercast
is having a field day. Dammit, Nerevar, don't
go into the goon cave. It's like 23 or 27. I
feel like it's that number, however many. Tau,
go to Kamara. And for a while, you know, don't
hear back, but it's a big galaxy. Could just
be taking a while. Eventually, I believe, the
Tau, there's another fight with the Tyranids.
Dark Eldar, they're so gratefully coming to help
them again. And they deploy some wrecks, some
of the little horrid little creatures they have,
whereupon the Tau notice, that looks... That
one's blue. Yeah, that looks an awful lot like
one of the guys we sent on over with you. So
the Tau opened fire on the Dark Eldar when they
realized that's horrific. Like, you are monsters.
You turned Shazo Gary into a bloody walking,
bulging tank. I think what first happened, though,
I think the Dark Eldar eventually got more, but
then the Dark Eldar asked them for an Ethereal,
and then the Tau got it. It's been a while. Bad
touch. Bad touch. It has been a while since I
read the lore, I admit, on that one. It's a little
fuzzy. This is like third edition Tao lore. It's
been a while. So then what happens is, you know,
the Dark Elder and the Tao, they, well, the Tao
opened fire. The Dark Elder just pissed off.
And when the Tao go back to, you know, the planet
they were staging off of, no one's on it. Well,
the Tau army was away. The Dark Elder came out
to play and kidnapped the planet. They just received
a small transmission of Bob Ross as a Drukai
going, I did a little sneaky on you. The planet
was still there. Not to say they can't kidnap
planets. They have two stolen sons giving Kamara
light. But no, they wanted the Tau to see what
they did. Then what they did was kidnap everyone
they left. Speaking of Tau. We should certainly
mention as well, like, due to the fact, like,
Komorah is basically the only city, like, proper
Eldar city that survived the fall. They kind
of have, like, a massive storehouse of what is
ancient Eldari technology from, you know, from
the height of their civilization. The problem
is, though, if I remember correctly, Colin, they
don't really have the powers and maybe they don't
have all the knowledge and how to use it all.
There's, like, a sub... There's a small story
about how some of the craft worlds did ask for
a device. A device called the Fireheart. It's
a terraforming device that is a long -term terraforming
device because it starts by basically causing
volcanic eruptions from the entire planet's mantle
to go crazy so that volcanic ash seeps. It's
very good for soil. And then over time, life
will form. But in the short term, it's great
for killing whatever's on that planet. I think
there's two things I want to mention about that
point as well. It's like, one, the artifacts
might need warp. Hey, do you want to use this?
Do you want to ring the dinner bell for the demons?
No. And then the other thing is, I remember reading
that Vect and Rakath before his assassination,
they actually made a stockpile of loot and they
hid it in Kimura. So if ever they need an escape
plan, they'll just be like, look at the shiny
stuff. And then they'll evacuate while all the
Drukhari are fighting over each other to get
the stuff in this big stockpile. Because when
you're Vex, you own everything anyway. It's like,
oh, what's the most important thing? Me. There
is also the third point, which is the Dark Elder
just don't want you to have it. Because fuck
you. They stole a Pandacea. Could have cured
everything. And the Dark Elder went, well, we
don't need it. We can do that, but why would
we let the Imperium have that? Fuck those guys.
They literally get to a verdant world, capture
all the people, and nuke the planet just to deny
the Tyranids any biomass. They'd be like, haha,
we got here first. with their um technology as
well they have i mean like as much as we said
like they helped the crawford elder and the i
and in that scenario they actually have access
to tech that means i think in that scenario they
required farcees to sacrifice themselves for
a member like credit con um but they actually
had access to technology that didn't require
that they just don't hand it out uh again they
don't have access to the fact that they could
they they have you know a literal world ending
stuff like you know promotion everywhere but
a lot of them all again like can't really use
it because of the lack of psychic powers but
uh doesn't mean they're going to hand out to
anybody who does have psychic powers because
you know someone does have psychic powers it
means they can use it against you um they also
uh they don't want to and just blow up the world
because then we'll really get the slaves and
and generally speaking the only people that can
bring them to task are the harlequins and the
harlequins work with the drukaria a lot because
they're like hey we work with any elder if it's
in the elders best interest but there's in the
short story the mask of vile motley and his mates
they they find these drukari who have pillaged
the craft world and taken all their spirit stones
and wraith bone and they're like that's not in
the best interest of the elder which of these
three are the culprit and they basically go through
this we're gonna make a we're gonna do a performance
of the fall of the elder we'll all play a part
and they use that to like They drive one of the
Drukhari to feel unconditional love for the first
time. And he goes mental because he's like, this
is amazing. And then he sees the fall of the
Eldar and he's like overtaken by Cain. He's like,
I'm going to kill everyone. It's like, I wasn't
him, but that was amusing. And then Motley takes
the death jester who's helping Motley kills the
guy responsible, holds a spirit stone. So his
soul goes into it and then Motley takes it and
swallows it. And it's like. And the death chest
is like, but it's like their way of staving off
like Slaanesh. They say, oh, Kegorak has a deal
where he might snatch them from the embrace of
Slaanesh. It's like, ah, if you have a spirit
stone in your body, it's like a backup. So if
you die while Slaanesh is busy taking that one,
Kegorak's like, come here, mate. Come on. we're
getting you away but even the death jester is
is horrified by just motley swallowing the spirit
stone and then grinning madly they are even the
drukhari are like not as bad as you might imagine
could be in comparison to the harlequins because
they can be kind of scary too um but they're
also like the only like they're the biggest like
the harlequins live in the webway but the drukhari
own most of it and even the craft welders can't
use the webway as much as the drukhari so they
have a monopoly on interstellar webway travel,
and so that's also an element of how they keep
their power. Nice. I think some of the webway
stuff is also like the Harlequins. The Dark Eldar
know to just kind of let the Harlequins through
when they want. Yeah. Because it's like, we don't
want to piss off Sanash because she's the goddess
who wants our souls. The same kind of applies
to the clown. He might be a clown. Still a god.
They respect them. The only left god of the Eldar.
Yeah, and to be fair, the Harlequins work a lot
with the Drukhari and the Craftwelders, but they're
useful. Again, the whole thing that drives the
Drukhari is self -interest. They'll make whatever
alliances they have to if it means they get to
live. So Harlequins are an easy ally in that
regard. I was going to ask, what's the El Drukhari
unit that they only become one if they... destroy
a spirit stone. That's the incubi. Just the incubi.
Oh yeah, yeah. They have to kill an aspect warrior.
Yeah, they have to kill an aspect warrior and
crush his spirit stone to become a true incubi.
Damn, really just mean. Believe it or not, still
better relations than the high and dark elves
have. I can't think of any. I did have one last
tidbit if anyone wanted to, if that was okay
to finish on. I saw this story slightly before,
but it's a Drukhari who meets the Kakaradons.
And it's the one where the Kakaradons capture
a Drukhari and they place him in a cell and it's
just like a four -wall blank cell. And they chuck
him in there and he's like raving, you know,
I'm going to, you know, I'm going to eat your
guts. I'm going to turn you into furniture. He's
like raving at them. They lock him away for a
week. And then after a week, he's extremely bored.
So eventually, like he opened the door again.
He's like, again, start threatening them. They
just look in, shut the door again. They don't
like just shut the little, open the little valve,
shut it again. Happens again, even longer. He's
left alone to his own devices. This time he's
so incredibly bored and it's torturous to him
not to be able to inflict pain or insult or injury.
He's been throwing insults. Nothing's working.
Can't hurt them. This time he just tries to play
nice. So this time they open the shutter and
he's standing to attention. He's like, I want
to have a conversation. Just something to indulge
myself in. Same thing again. They close the shutter.
And this is how they eventually, after they do
this again, they wait another few more weeks.
And eventually when they open it up, he's begging
to talk to someone because he's been so alone.
And so I've been unable to insult people, hurt
people. He's desperate for any interaction, just
to show off that he's willing to spill any secrets.
And they're like, cool. That's how they torture
Drukhari, is not to interact with them. I think
there was also in a story where... So I don't,
I don't mean like exploded, like explosion, but
you know, those like medical diagrams where someone's
like, everything's been separated out, like the
skins away, then the muscle, like it's like showcasing
like, and all the organs are moved to the side,
like kind of hanging in the air. I think they
did that to someone. Like I'd have to double
check where I read that, but they did that. Like
they medically exploded them or like your lungs
are over here and your heart's here and your
skin's over there. Except the dude was still
alive. yeah even aware of it even like um the
really old homunculi he puts on these carnivals
of like the most disgusting stuff and all the
archons are like so desperate to go see it to
go see it because it's like if they're kind of
having trouble regenerating they go to this they'll
look 100 years younger and they're like what
do you want he's like i want a pound of your
skin and they're like Here you go. They're like
desperate to go to these carnivals because they
are just so good. And yeah, I think the ninth
edition codex mentions sometimes if you walk
around camera long enough, you can find headless
guardsmen who are still aware and in agony just
walking around. There's a very good reason that
like every like. lore blurb about them ends with
something on the lines of if you're about to
be captured by the dark aldar just kill yourself
and even then they might bring you back yeah
well there's a whole thing where um there's in
in the drukari books the conspirators are talking
about some stuff during an arena showing and
what the drukari do is they have some humans
that have been captured they turn one against
them who's like bringing them food and water
in their cell and goes okay What we're going
to do is we're going to stage their escape. So
they think they're getting away. And then the
lady lets them out and they run and they're getting
weapons and they kill the guards because the
guards are expendable. And then they find a portal
and they're like, we're going to escape. We're
going to escape. And the portal leads them directly
into the middle of the arena. And then all the
Drukhari point and laugh and goes, they thought
they were going to get away. And then they die.
And it's like, that's how much of a dick the
Drukhari are. And it's funny. mr mike wanted
me to talk about own sheet that's how ethereal
supposedly escaped camera uh there's no lore
about it but he was there and then he was somewhere
else in the lore later so apparently he escaped
but ounchi was captured by the dark elder and
also he fought multiple dark elder and beasts
all at one time and was beating them until he
got poisoned so he's literally a goat he won
it all he won a bunch of his fights in camera
And he became a celebrity throughout the whole
city. He was the dancing blue man or something
like that. Yeah, he did go. Also, the squad of
the Marines got captured. A few of them escaped
from the entirety of Kimura. And Kael Vidius,
who was a captain, was so annoyed at the Drukhari.
He's like, I'm going to the Death Watch. You
can't stop me. And his whole thing is, I'm a
captain of a watch fortress. I will find every
Drukhari we come across and I will purge. And
that's his thing. That's pretty reasonable. Not
an invalid opinion. If there's any space genocide
justified in Warhammer 40k, I'd say it's probably
this one. Usually, I'm a Xenos fan. It was his
first time ever meeting them, so he didn't know
who they were, but he eventually decided that
they're the antithesis of... the greater good.
They're the opposite of the Tauwa. They're just
like pure evil, and their whole existence is
to cause suffering. The worse are bad. I think
if you'd like one last thing, just to really
rub the awful in, is that I think there was a
passage somewhere, like a dark Eldar child, I
think it was Trueborn, because most of them come
from bats. If you have the privilege of coming
out of a vagina, you get special places in life.
Yep. was like you know was watching someone had
horrific things done to them and she felt bad
kind of implying that you know they're constantly
have to teach each other to be this horrible
which just makes it worse in my opinion because
if you're inherently evil it's almost like well
it's just kind of you know the way you are you're
like an ogre from fantasy yeah it's like you
it's you're kind of just it's just the way you're
doing it it's like no they're they're making
the conscious choice to continue being awful
and they could leave at any time and go live
on a craft world instead but but there is also
the harrying of the the first which you know
do you want to become a dark souls one mpc from
the dungeon look at that guy and he just sat
in there like i'm going to solve and i don't
know what's going on it's like oh that sucks
the way to i guess think of it as like they do
do that they will turn into that but There are
other ways they're difficult, but they're by
no means impossible. And they're not even like,
like complicated, you know, simple things can
be difficult. Like, yeah, you know, living a
life of, you know, ascetism and, you know, constant
discipline, not easy, but you don't have to be
torturing the person. You don't, you don't need
to be doing that. Although more, he goes about
killing someone in his book after he's been in
the Shrine of Aura and killed his friends. He's
gone about killing for like 20 minutes and he's
like, I feel so weak. I need to kill something
or I'm going to become parched. And you're like,
oh no, this poor guy. He's like, I'm honorable,
but I need to kill something every hour of the
day. I think it is like a drug thing, like addiction
too, where once they're far enough down the path,
it's like, well. We're getting withdrawal, except
in your case, withdrawal is soul death. I think
with that lovely note, thanks, Colin. I know
that didn't get munched by Vulcan this time.
We had a previous question of the week, which
was on our Gotrick and Felix episode. That was
number three, so if anyone wants to check out
previous episodes of Gotrick and Felix, because
my god is... That a good story. I believe our
question was, who was your Warhammer ride or
die, which was hashtag ride or die. The first
one here is by at Miss Grimmy. It was hashtag
ride or die fantasy. I'm taking Krokar fighting
skills. He's ancient. So I can ask a million
law questions. I want to pet that carnasaur direct
speech in brackets, tism friendly. for 40k uh
i'm taking ty ross similar reasoning nothing
is going to kill us he's a direct communicator
isn't loud and most importantly one of my hyper
focuses is sharks anything anything from the
ocean wow yeah you're pretty real for that my
only my only criticism is that i don't think
croc gar is going to be as conversational as
you think he is He's a lizard man. What do you
know about the outside world? I don't care. What
do you know about the great plan? That's the
slawn's job. The next one was by Mike Loves Magnus
Must Fight Colleen. That's a hell of a name.
Hashtag ride or die. Magnus the Red. By going
on an adventure with Magnus, I could annoy Hal
by existing with him. I could also be friends
with the Khan and Sanguinius. Enrage Colleen
by using Commander Magnus in Magic the Gathering
and summoning Bretonnian Chad from the war. And
Eli's relationship with his wife is like Magnus'
with Prospero. In brackets, I love Magnus. That's
a hell of a... Good on you, Mike. Bretonnian's
strongest soldier. This is by our resident law
criminal, basically the unofficial fifth member,
MrDJBeast. Hashtag ride or die. I would go on
an adventure with Gelt, and he is supreme, he
says in brackets, in capitals. Also, I have scammed
people a bit and worked at a pyramid scheme company
for a bit. I would love to go scamming the old
world with him. Gelt's best buddy. wow admit
to listening it was law crime you don't actually
have to admit your crimes oh my gosh um the next
one is by at jose corinne dionto not six nine
one one sorry man i butchered that uh hashtag
writer die uh the second in command of the tower
of howard can't remember his name it's very elfie
i've been falling to elf synthesis between the
high house player guys to wfrp fourth edition
read the school master special techniques descriptions
they're insane Hang on. Yes. So, your ride or
die is a dude who you go, I don't remember his
fucking name, but hey, he's aight. That guy.
Do you mean Belladair? Why not be the, why not,
why not choose the first in command? Why not
just choose Douglas? Well, it's been Elson thing,
my poor boy. And then we had a... One last one
by at emperor Zandar 666. Hashtag ride or die.
I love dark elves in brackets even though I know
I die in brackets. Malekith or Malus Darkblade
because deep down I'm an edgelord. I can respect
the Malus Darkblade pick. He's almost a there's
almost a conscience in that. I don't know about
Malekith. The deep down edgelord part, we've
all been there. We've all been teenagers. And,
you know, you won't believe my power. I respect
it. I forgot that Malekith apparently might have
had a brother or a son, but that plotline ends
with, and he's a skeleton in his council chambers.
Just stuck to a chair. Jesus Christ. Family reunions
are awkward. Not as bad as the reunions with
his mother. Nope. That's a different way to say
reunion. The next one, thank you everyone who
did put in the comment section for the question
of the week. The next question of the week, again,
put this in the comment section, please. This
is, how would you escape Comora? Hashtag home
alone. uh the scenario literally is your poor
boy you know maybe you were a salamander child
or something you know a nocturne child or something
you were you know felt cute might get captured
by the drew car related kind of vibe and you're
in camaraderie how do you get out do you charm
your way out obviously most inventive crazy method
you could call it other warhammer heroes to help
you whatever you need. That's hashtag home alone,
though, for the question of the week. How would
you escape Komara? I think we have some finishing...
My personal advice is to hope that the plot of
either a Caiaphas Kane book or the Rogue Traders
CRPG are happening. If not, I would just find
a tall building and jump. I would be realistic.
I'd be realistic. I would... most likely be furniture.
But I would ask for the furniture that has legs.
And then I could creep my way out. Oh my god.
Steep my way onto an emissary's vessel. My little
head under the desk being like, shh. under the
desk you'll be the desk you guys know the the
family guy like the star wars parody where they're
getting the couch into the falcon no dang it
twisted twisted someone running out of camera
out there the couch is their friend that's the
only way i'm getting lighting is like one of
the uh the like characters from beauty and the
beast who are like the cast all the time i'm
a kettle off it goes uh I do believe, though,
that was the end question. We had some final
donations that we had for the stream. We do.
Oh, yes. Corridons tortured a dark elder by locking
him in a dark room with nothing to do and would
blast him with a fire hose every few days. Yeah.
Sounds like what they do. Angry Homunculus for
£2. Did you talk the Drukhari Alliance with the
Severin Dominate? I kind of forget the Severin
Dominate exists, to be honest with you. We had
Gilliman, but smaller. I think it's from one
of the Dark Heresy or one of the other role -playing
games, I think. It's a small sub -sector. I think
it's just a... I mean, it's a few dozen solar
systems. So it's small compared to the Imperium.
Small. It's just seceded. And they haven't done
anything about it. Because one, it is very well
armed and equipped. It is a proper functioning
empire. Because remember, everyone, 42 solar
systems is not a small amount of planets and
materials. That's a lot. And two, it's the classic
Imperium thing of, yeah, they could get any one
person. If they devote resources away from other
fronts and then lose on that front. So because
they're not really doing anything either, they're
just kind of hanging out like it's pure real
politic. Like they've, they give the dark elder
some slaves in turn, the dark elder, keep them
around as a very easy source of slaves. But look
here on can't have nothing. Huh? We can't have
that. We can't have one system. To be fair, this
one is not saying that he wasn't in the right.
That was Space Marines rebelling and the High
Lords probably started getting ancestral flashbacks
to the Heresy. Yeah. Some random bozo was like,
I let him be. I don't care. Oh, wow. This is
crazy. Thank you for the five euros. I saved
it. I saved it. I want to ride backwards a comically
large ba -bomb into Kamara, waving a cowboy hat,
hoping to unalive all. That or ride Lelith Hesperax.
Silly. You do you, man. I will wear a green hat
in seven weeks. Donkey Man USA. Five bucks. I've
not paid any attention to the stream because
the Discord VC goes too hard. Maybe we'll have
a... Hey, you should pay attention to the stream.
Wake up, wake up, wake up! Discord for a second.
Wow. Stealthy47 for five bucks. The Tyranids
are goated for eating a bug. Which of the Dark
Eldar after they thought they could raid them?
Who raids the Terranids? No, they infected themselves
with Gene Stealer. Because why not? Yeah. Silly
billies. Who was this last one? from hollow network
hollow network host oh dude are you hollow live
the hit network that's going fucking to the shitter
no one none of you need to care about that uh
five bucks thank you i don't know if it is crazy
i cut up sisters models to uplift the elder models
to prove the superior nature of the elder i feel
like i can take that in like five different ways
from creative modeling to please seek a therapist
i'm choosing to take it as creative modeling
in which case good for you man Jesus Christ.
Is that the last one there, Andy? That's all?
Yeah, that's everything. Thank you very much,
Andy, for helming a big amount of Drew Correlo.
Hope everyone listening liked that, appreciated
it. Again, Lord Crimes has Discord, has the merchandise
stuff, all that good things. And again, obviously
the question of the week was how would you escape
Commodore? Hashtag home alone, all that good
stuff. I don't know if there's something going
up next week, Andy. I don't think we are. There's
nothing planned going up next week because something's
happening next week. We'll see. We might be able
to put something together. There's something
interesting going on next week. With that being
said, though, love you all. Hope you guys enjoyed
the episode. Doing it again, I know. Like and
subscribe. Catch you guys all in the next one.
Peace. Goodbye. I love you. See you, everyone.
Take care. Bye.