Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Lore
Crimes. Hello! Yo! What's poppin'? Everyone,
for the esteemed listeners and beautiful people,
you'll notice Eli is not here today. He is in
fact in the realm of chaos, battling to the death
for his mighty doom. So Eli will be with us again
soon. He's having a nice time. Appreciate that.
But today, it's a shame as well, because today
is a really, really good episode. This is a part
three. This is a part three, so if anyone wants
to check out the previous parts, go check them
out as well. But today is... You know who it
is. It's fantasy. It's Gotrek and Felix. Absolute
icons. The boys. the boys uh you know absolutely
legends of the warhammer fantasy universe and
also the old world as we'll say uh just a small
preface for the people who maybe haven't watched
part one or two but obviously it is worth checking
out because they're really good episodes uh it's
this fantastic duo that uh one is a human called
felix who just a brief rundown felix is a kind
of slash noble very briefly like a noble born
-ish son thing slash merchant class um and and
he's also a poet slash bard or anything in that
realm just to help pattern him out he got in
trouble one day and you know there was something
like window tax riots if i remember correctly
and his path crossed with a A bit of a short
king. This is... Oh, God. We have comments, actually.
That's for later. He met with this short king
who's the mightiest creature ever to grace the
Warhammer fantasy universe. This is Gotrek, who
is a dwarf who has taken the Slayer Oath. He
has a mysterious past who... is tragic as for
who take the slayer oath and basically seek their
mighty doom felix has been intertwined with gotrek
who is set to record gotrek's d's before gotrek
finds his glorious end and this is a part three
so again there's a lot of context in here so
far where we last saw them i think it was um
they had previously on the expedition up into
the uh Not the Norsca Waste, but the Northland
of the Warhammer fantasy, just above Kislev.
And I think they had delved into some ancient
dwarven ruins and there was some adventure there.
No more spoilers though. But today, Colin will
be taking us on the next part of this incredible
journey. And we're going to get ready. We're
going to go straight into it. Colin, take us
there. So yeah, that was last time we talked
about it. I think it was... I read the books
in the omnibuses. So I have the books we're talking
about today, but when I'm done talking about
them, they start to blur in my mind because I
read 18 books in about a year's period, which,
you know, for Andy is like, you know, five minutes
a month. Yeah. But for the people who aren't
Andy, that's a, that's a fair bit amount of read.
Yeah. I'd like to think anyway. And listening.
And listening. To be fair, I do still have. I
have now got all the Gotrick and Felix books
on Audible, so I'm like, that's going to be a
fun time when I actually get around to being
like, right, I have time to listen to something
that's not 40k. But until such time. Yeah, but
Demon Slayer, where they went to an ancient dwarf
hold and did some fighting with demons. And Dragon
Slayer, where they tried to dogfight a dragon
in a blimp. And, you know, it worked better than
that phrase might make you believe. But the spirit
of Grumney, Malachi McKyson's wonderful blimp,
was a little bit banged up. And so he's gone
to get it repaired. It's his baby. That thing's
got to get fixed up. So in the meantime, we have
the main two, Gotchk and Felix, as well as the...
Three main tag -alongs. Not quite, you know,
they're not Godric and Felix, but they're very
much also protagonists. Max, Snorri, and Ulrica
are going to the city. Oh, wait, no. I forgot.
The two surviving Slayer tag -alongs from Dragon
Slayer. Bjorni, the horny dwarf. There's really
all you need to know about him. Is he seen as
like a Jürgen -esque thing where like, if he
could, he'd be watching all the dirty mags in
public, like just because he doesn't care. But
he don't stank, he's just horny. Yeah, but like,
I think Jürgen is just like, the social awareness
and caring are both absent. Björni would definitely
know he's being a pervert, he just doesn't give
a shit. It's like, oh, you dirty scoundrel. Him
and Uli, the slayer who was a little bit of a
little bit of a scaredy cat. You know, he was
very loud and boastful. And when the fighting
happens, he didn't really want to die. He knew
his ass too. He's a slayer, but wasn't really
a fan. Those two, along with the main five, have
gone to the city of Prague. Why are they going
to Prague? Because there's a big old chaos invasion,
baby. And when four of your seven party members
have a religiously mandated death wish, a chaos
invasion is exactly where you want to be. For
a little bit of a context, by the way, I believe
this was Warhammer Fantasy. It was still kind
of going down the Storm of Chaos timeline, which
was end time 0 .5. uh let's go let's call it
that this is the one where like it kind of was
meant to be it was the the one that never became
true where like uh grim gore kicked uh archaeon
in the nuts is that yeah it was uh it was the
one where gw wanted the end times but they let
player like matchup results uh influence the
lore and the chaos factions got their shit rocked
For slight reference, people, the city of Prague
is in the northern kingdom above the Empire of
Man, which is Kislev. And Prague is pretty famous.
Not the real life Prague. No, but it is still
pronounced Prague. But it famously has pretty
big walls. And there's been quite a few chaos
invasions that usually, you know what I mean?
If someone, I guess in football analogy, is the
first person, like rugby, is the first person
who's going to get smacked over before they get
to the actual trial and whatever. Yeah, it's
the first hurdle any Chaos Warlord has to get
through. And it's known as the Haunted City because
it's been torn down and rebuilt so many times
that sometimes the ghosts of the city just kind
of show back up. But for now. Hasn't been torn
down yet. It's the first stand against a chaos
warlord known as Eric Demonclaw, a follower of
Zinch, who is quite full of himself and thinks
he's not only destined to conquer the Kislev
and the Empire, but rule the whole goddamn world.
He is, as with all chaos warlords, confident.
You're telling me that the Slaaneshi guy thinks
he's the best thing since sliced bread? Really?
No, he's a Zinch guy. Oh, a Zinch guy. I thought
it was... Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, but then there's
the nerd complex where it's like, I'm smarter
than everyone. But he's called Erik. Yeah, but
it's A -R -E -K. Oh, it's like Erik. Erik. Erik.
I mean, they are Vikings. They are called the
Norse, so it does track if you say it like that.
I'm the greatest demon host ever. I love to fight
in the name of chaos. Sinch is my boy. That he
speaks. God, it doesn't sound very imposing.
It's not very imposing, is it, though? To murder
your whole family. We'll give him credit. He
is a pretty powerful, you know, he's a chaos
warlord. There's a baseline level of power you
gotta be to claim that title and rule over a
big ol' horde of... All four Chaos Forces. He
has people from every god under him, so he's
almost a mini -ever -chosen. He's not a pushover.
A demi -chosen. Without too much spoiling, he
is the main antagonist of a Gotrick and Felix
book, so do with that information what you will
as to what's going to happen to poor Eric. Aiding
him, however, are... Two sorcerers named Loigar
and Kelmain. Loigar? It's close. L -H -O -I -G
-A -I -R. It's not quite Loigar. Loigar from
Wish. Although, to be fair, both settings have
a Magnus as well, don't they? They do. I will
say that... God bless his... Beautiful soul,
Mr. William King, who I'm sure wrote this novel.
We don't all have to use the random D &D name
generator whenever we're trying to think of parenting
names. Hey, it works. But they're twins, and
they're Zetian twins, so in addition to doing
that thing twins in books do where they just
kind of look at each other and just know what
the other is thinking. which happens a couple
times. They're also patiently waiting their own
ascension to ultimate power through plans and
all of this scrying, future -seeing nonsense,
which Eric is very aware of, and the twins are
aware he's aware, and the three main enemies
of this book are all Zeej characters. Can I just
say, this is literally, if anyone remembers OG
Freddy W on YouTube, he did a sketch with Key
and Peele. where it's like they're having like
the standoff with the guns and it's like actually
I would the guy and then he takes off a mask
and then the sniper the whole time but turns
out actually had a drone on you guys the whole
time it's one of those things like zingian stuff
is really hard to get right because it's always
like but I knew you knew I knew I that guy knew
but he didn't know that I knew he knew it's yeah
it's that it's that meme of the people in the
the the church where it's like the guy at the
front the gun the gun and then the sniper and
then there's like another sniper shooting the
sniper it's like I can't remember which film
that was from. Yeah. Alfari is shenanigans. I
was always ten steps ahead. Alfalesian should
have been zine stuff, honestly. And then it's
just solved. And it's less annoying. But yeah,
so they're zine -shian. They're the three main
overall bad guys of this book. And Eric is the
commander of the army, leading, again, a mixed
force. So every now and again, he has to deal
with some... coronate berserkers going but i
want to attack the walls now i want to do it
now uh you know the typical chaos warlord stuff
and during one one of these attacks uh the defenders
of prague it's early in the invasion at first
so there's a bit of a sortie outside the walls
where we meet gotrek and felix in the book uh
there's a they're just they're fighting outside
the walls cutting down demons left and right
uh there's actually there is a cool scene where
Felix is charmed by a demonet because demonets
are Slaanesh's foot soldiers. They're just rushing
on in too. And it's just a cool scene of how
it works because he looks at it and he's like,
this is a monstrous demon, but it's like the
magical beauty and scent and sound of the demonet's
voice just stun lock him until he's standing
next to Gatric. So the demon, like, Gotrick snaps
him out of it. He's like, oh, God, that's what
I'm really looking at. And they seize the demon
at model as it is, basically. They kill it and
they go on fighting. During this time, Eric gets
a look at Gotrick cutting down everything sent
to his portion of the assault and takes some
interest. He's like, well, there's, Kislevites
aren't dwarfs. what's he doing here? And why
is he so goddamn powerful? And here we get a
little bit of a glimpse as to the origin of Godric
and his weapon. He goes to his two seer twins,
I'm going to call them Lordar at least once,
Loigar and Kelmain, and they show him a vision
of the dwarf god Grimnir himself forging the
axe that Godric wields in battle. As well as
a... not... Too many, but enough. You can definitely
start piercing some things together. Also some
bits of Godric's own origin, why he became a
Slayer. There's a... What is the right word?
A little bit of Dawi side in Godric's backstory.
He snapped a little bit and killed some people
he probably should have killed. I'm thinking
of... I can't remember the show, but there is
one where they just wake up and they're like,
oh. Oh, it's bloody... It's a Kratos thing. It's
the Kratos origin. Okay. Oh, God of War Kratos.
Kinda, yeah. I mean, it's the same Kratos, just
the new one's a lot less fun to watch do his
thing. Yeah, less... Smear, well, less having
your wife and child's ashes forever coated on
your skin, more just angry. Angry with big beard.
Bigger than Kratos' beard as well. Which I will
remind you is not, well, not even you, audience,
is not me making fun of the new God of War. I'm
just saying the old one was a lot more fun to
watch do his thing. New Kratos would not use
someone's head as a flashlight. Well, what's
his name? The one where he just rips the god's
head off and he's just there. Helios. Helios.
He's like, come on. Yeah, and then he used him
as a flashlight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great.
I said flash. Flashlight. Okay, okay. There's
no need to go there. I apologize. Yeah. But Eric,
after seeing this vision, is... understandably
a bit wary of gotrick now he's one of the only
characters in any of these books to almost realize
he's in a gotrick and felix book as the antagonist
uh he sees like that's uh i've just watched the
slayer cut down a lot of my forces and he's wielding
an axe forged by a god i a little bit afraid
of that guy which completely reasonable opinion
if you ask me So, he starts ordering that assassins
are sent to kill him and Felix, because, you
know, Felix is still a problem, much less of
a problem than Godric, but Felix is hardly incompetent,
especially by this point in the series, which
we'll talk a little bit about later. But, with
that, we cut back to inside of Prague. The siege,
you know, calms down a bit. We're back to, you
know, the chaos encircling it, but there's no
present assault. So, Godric and Felix. are hanging
out back in Prague, and they meet a man named
Willem, who's the younger brother of the ruling
noble of Prague. The ruling guy's name is Duke
Enric, but he's not too important. His brother,
his younger brother Willem, though, he seems
a nice enough guy. He seems, you know, he's polite
enough, seems a little bit peeved at, you know,
Prague's rulers and maybe a little bit of issues
with his brother going on, but, you know. Family
drama happens, right? Nothing too bad. Cut to
a cultist meeting where a fellow with the very
much stated to be fake name of Halleck is tasked
with getting Gotrick and Felix killed. I will
let you all ruminate on who Halleck could really
be. With that, back to our heroes, though. It's
a little bit of another jump. They're in a tavern
because... Of course they are. That's Godric
and Felix natural habitat. And a witch hunter
that's in the area really wants to pick a fight
with Godric. And it's pretty heavily implied
that that witch hunter is also secretly a Zinj
cultist. But he made the mistake of just picking
a head -on 1v1 fight with Godric, which is...
Ill -advised. He cuts his head. He's dead. The
guy gets his head cut off. And then Godric resumes
drinking. It reminds me of all the attempts and
the Horus heresy they made. We gotta assassinate
Horus. It's like, well, I know how this ends.
You don't. Even to the extent of like, we're
gonna get the first time ever, we'll get one
of each assassin and we'll send them all off.
Horus at once, and it goes really badly. Like,
what? Oh, we'll just do it again. It's like,
no. No, it's not going to work. Surely one of
them will get through. No, none of them. Yeah.
And then another assassin attacks him, and he's
like a demon host. Like, why did this happen?
This was perfect. Nope. Why do you keep doing
this? Shenanigans. Chaos shenanigans. It always
happens. Yeah. One of them even joins Horus.
Do you think every time Godric's near death,
he just stands up and he goes... I'm the protagonist,
bitch. He's running through people. Running through
walls. Go on. So this is a... The heroes are
getting clued in that someone wants them dead,
but also at the same time, Gatra getting... Yeah,
Gatra getting in a fight to the death with someone
in a tavern is the least eventful thing that
happens. That is Tuesday. The craziest part.
because I think the greatest part so far is that
they've not received a poorly handwritten letter
that details the exact plan of which they should
definitely not investigate but will you see how
you mentioned that we're taking another jump
cut to help it for those of you unaware help
it is we'll go with capital uh of the skaven
clan Mulder where after two and a half books
of just failure after failure after failure.
A Skaven's lifetime. Yeah, several Skaven lifetimes.
And several Skavens. Yeah. Where none other but
our boy Gracie or Thantqual is currently imprisoned
between his failures at Gnome, his failure trying
to capture the spirit of Grungni, his general
being himself. Thanquil's been taken prisoner,
as well as the fact that out of all the underlings
he had at Gnome, the one from Clan Moulder was
the only one to survive, and Skaven being Skaven,
that guy naturally went back home and told the
rest of Clan Moulder, hey guys, that Thanquil
guy's a dick. Which is not inaccurate. Look at
what they did to my Bone Ripper. Look at what
they did to Bone Ripper. What Bone Ripper are
we on now, though? God only knows, man. Bone
Ripper 471, my precious boy. I don't think we're
quite at the double digits at this point in the
series, but it's getting there. Bone Ripper 6
could get it, but Bone Ripper 7 didn't deserve
it, okay? Truly, the Bone Ripper bloodline is
a long and illustrious one. There's more sequels
than The Fast and the Furious, which is impressive.
Are they made by Clan Mulder? Because I see Bone
Ripper as like a mass rat ogre mount. At first
they were, yeah. Then out of Universe GW started
releasing Storm Fiends, and in Universe Clan
Scryer decided, what if we gave a rat ogre a
gun? Love it. And so Bone Ripper became a double
house project. An industrial manufacturing thing.
Yeah. But luckily for Thanquil, because his entire
life is one long series of lucky breaks followed
by unlucky breaks, Lurk Snitchtongue, who, if
you remember from last time, was Thanquil's little
underling also from Gnome, who hitched a ride
on top of Malachi McKyson's blimp in the Realm
of Chaos, which mutated him heavily to be about
the size of a rat ogre. He is now in Hellpit
2 and has started a communist uprising. Wow.
I mean, it's specifically called a populist uprising,
but, you know, populist for the people. Lurk
Snitchtongue is the people's champion. We the
Skaven, for the Skaven, by the Skaven. Indeed.
So Thanquil is once again tripping into success.
is released on the condition that he helps Mulder
deal with this new threat. And because he's still
magically connected with Lurk, he's able to see
the roided -out rat's plans and thwart them.
Lurk pisses off, he's not dead yet, and Thankel
is once again a free rat. This is a... I will
specify, by the way, Thankel is not really impactful
in the main plot of this book. It's just he shows
up a couple times, and it's always fun. Which
I think is the only reason he's here. They're
just like, well, I want to mention Thancol. He's
fun to talk about. He truly is the Lord Farquaad
of the Skaven race. Some of you may die. But
that's a sacrifice. But that is a sacrifice I
am willing to make. Yes. Before we get any further,
though, we do have some donors that we need to
thank you guys very much. So start off with God.
There it is. Stream late due to how tuning to
Patrick Star. Yeah, pretty much. Every week we
all seen it before. Card shark for five Canadian.
I bathe in non -oil. I stroke with non -oil.
That's a sentence I've said out loud. That is
a name. Douglas L. Bozo for two euros. Never
let the fourth cook. You'll get another talon.
That's all for two bucks. Which Chaos God would
the Swedish chef worship? Sunash the sick bastard.
Well, surely the large cauldron. I see that.
I want to go Nurgle, but the Swedish chef, he's
a good cook. He's not making typhoid soup. But
then he has to say, Nurgle, Nurgle, Nurgle in
the pot. That's true. He's kind of a Nurgling,
isn't he? Kind of a Nurgling in the vibe. What
is with the Swedish respect? Crap. Ball sets.
Crap ball sets. Baslets. Crap baslets for 10
euros. Sorry about that. Long time. Hammer time.
Hammer time. Oh, boy. Luke2207. Is that a murder
bots? Murder droids? Whatever PFP it is. Thank
you for the 10 euros. Why did I say it like that?
For Colin, would you rather date Karl Franz or
Marathi? I've also been watching you guys for
a while. I love the content. Well, thank you.
I'll also have you know that my love for Karl
Franz is purely platonic as a leader and champion
of men. I will leave that sentence there before
my usual train of thought continues. Karl Franz
is his Aragorn. Let me just for a second rephrase
that. If you're on a date, I say date, with Marathi,
and all of a sudden... And it's Carl. He's like,
summon the elector counts. Do you rush to his
aid or just go... Oh, I'm out. I'm out. I'm sorry,
Marathi. You're breaking up. I'm pretty sure
Colin would be gone. He'd run out the restaurant,
run back in. Take a picture of her feet and then
run back out again. Hal's got it. Hal's got the
strat. Number one for you, Colin. Thank you,
Shark Borden -Meyer, for the 5C. Thank you once
again. It is now exactly three months and one
day after my birthday, but thank you. I like
the fact that you've had a birthday every week
for the last month. I have. I think I'm up to
what? That's 12 weeks since. I'm now 38. I'm
now the oldest one here. They've had only three
days ago as my birthday as well. So now I'm even
older and have more Warhammer debt. Happy birthday.
Thank you. Not 30 yet still. Don't rub it in.
Non -Dormient for two bucks. Mission success.
Cousin now has Black Templars. You genius. You've
done a bad thing because now you've put your
family in a financial ruin. At risk. You've made
a very horrible decision for them. Look, just
make sure he's not an annoying Black Templars
fan and you'll be good. Yeah. The Wolfblood Warrior.
I think you were the 15 Euros. And an Abyss Watcher
PFP. Let's go. This one is for Colin specifically.
Where is the thankful video? When thankful, Colin.
When thankful. P .S. You keep going, guys. You
are amazing. Well, thank you very much. And I'll
give you the same answer I've been giving for
about two years now. I will make it when I make
it. Yeah, I'll make it. We'll get there when
we get there. Look, I read slowly and Oblivion
just came out again. The real reason. Notice
the subtitle underneath Colin's... Pelinal needs
me. I need to turn the Elven Garden District
in the Imperial City into a graveyard. Just let
my subtitle name Colin underneath mine. I just
noticed it. I kind of wish you didn't point it
out, but we're here now. This is what I get.
This is my own suffering. For the audio listeners,
Pregnant Colin. There you go. That made me feel
horrible saying that. Yeah, I don't feel good.
I hate that. Every minute of that. Mr. Stark,
I'm not feeling so good after that one. To absorb
some of the bad feelings from you, I feel weird
that... I played Oblivion on release and I was
15 and now I'm like, oh, that game's 20 years
old, almost. God, I'm getting old. Please help.
Please. Is that my coffin? Am I getting in? Oh,
is it time? Okay. Bro, you're a veteran. You
know how many Skyrim re -releases? Just think,
I was there before the re -releases. My kids
and nephews are going to be like, bro, have you
heard of this game called Skyrim? And I'm like,
Damn it, Todd. Do not speak your witchcraft to
me. I was there when it was written at university.
I think that's where my university was. Oh, yes.
Oh, dude. I am Pelinal's strongest racist. Oh,
you just didn't love that. And Jack, Carl Franz,
my son, Bretonian Premise is the only true path
forward. Also, I'm gay. Thank you, Jack. Still
gay. Appreciate you. Love you, homie. Welcome.
Love you and appreciate you. God bless. Where
were we? So Thancol has just been in Hellpit.
Yes. The goober's been released. The goober is
free. We're now cutting away from Thancol. As
I was skimming back through the books to refresh
myself, I think I did realize that he's not here
because it's important to the plot. He's here
because people just like Thancol. That's it.
His story is vitally important to many people's
mental health. Yeah, it is vital to my enjoyment.
Firstborn child, I sleep. Thankle's new plotline?
Thankle appearance? Awake. But now we're back
to the actual plot. And now it's Felix's turn
to be jumped by two assassins. Which, Godric
isn't around right now, but... Around this point,
we're five books into the series. This is about
the point where Felix is allowed to be kind of
just a scary guy in his own right. This is where
you start realizing that he's been adventuring
for a good few years by this point. He's not
a pushover. So he kills one of them, and through
a series of... goofs and struggles, the other
assassin ends up falling on his own poison blade
and dying. But, hey, the end result is Felix
survived. It was a little bit less Tom and Jerry
than when all the clannish and assassins tried
to kill him in Nuln. It wasn't quite that level
of comedic failure. Felix is showing that he's
a pretty cool guy now. This wasn't like one of
those in the story they need to have an accidental
death so someone falls over and hits their head
in a rock. You know what I mean? Yeah. That happened
in World War Z, the movie. It's not like because
we've been talking about Elder Scrolls, that
thing where you see an NPC and they're like,
oh, this dungeon is dangerous. And then they
instantly step on a trap that crushes them into
the ceiling. And you're like, ah! Lydia, you
stupid bitch. But every time that happens in
a game, don't you try and save the person? I
always feel like I try and save them. Yeah, I
do, but usually I don't even get to that point
because I don't bring companions with me. Isn't
there like a bloody Imperial Legionary or Stormcloak
that just gets grabbed by Alduin or something?
Oh no, it's the... It's Odaving. It's when you're
capturing him. One of the guards there is there
to help. You call him. You can't save him. You
can push him inside the building. You can't save
him. Y 'all, Bolgrove doesn't seem that concerned.
One of his boys just got pasted to capturing
this dragon. It's a city guard. They respawn
for a dime a dozen. It just reminds me of when
I play Fire Emblem and the green units are like,
we're going to defend the castle. And then they
instantly walk into the area and it's like, oi!
come back and there's like no reason to save
them but i still like save that soldier and bring
him to the back and babysit him because he's
stupid look i'm sure there's writing somewhere
in one of michael kirkbride's insane ramblings
that that guard reincarnated and achieved chim
i'm sure he's fine at least didn't get his manhood
cut off and turned into a sword like more like
ball i think as in no right vivek bit off Molag
Bal's You Know What and then turned it into a
weapon or something. It's crazy. Yeah, him and
Molag Bal were lovers. Molag Bal, the lord of
taught Vivek the word love. Thank you, Elder
Scrolls. Thank you, Todd Howard. Oh, that one
was not Todd Howard. That was absolutely Michael
Kirkbride. Shout out to the people taking screen
caps right now. It's the title they give him.
I didn't make it up. We should say at this point
in, we have a Discord for people who haven't
caught it yet. It's been going off. The amount
of memes we've seen about us has been honestly
overwhelming. We really appreciate that. Thank
you. There's a whole section dedicated to screen
grabs of our faces. And there is also... an entire
bit dedicated to praising Boingob, and I am happy
to say that every day I check it, and every day
there are new people saying, praise Boingob.
It's like, yes, keep going. You don't even have
to prompt them, they just do it. Blessed be the
father of squakes. Blessed be the rotisserie
chicken who tried to devour the sun. His appetite
was too big for this universe. Indeed. God bless
him. So Phoenix is just... He's just been jumped.
He survived. He killed him and fought him off.
While he was getting jumped, the assassins mentioned
a brothel called the Red Rose. And they learned
that the person who hired the assassins frequents
the place. So they go to investigate. Don't find
anything immediately. But Uli and Bjorni start
going to the brothel frequently for investigation.
I assure you, Felix, this stripper's tits are
vital for the survival of Prague. Something to
live for. Keeping a slayer out of the bay. During
that clown show, Eric, back to him, is kind of
sick of getting results, and speaking of sick,
has the followers of Nurgle unleash a plague
on the city? Infecting thousands, including our
dear Ulrica, which as a side note, love triangle
nonsense is still kind of happening. There's
only so often I can mention it before I just
get sick of it. So just know that Felix and Max
and Ulrica are still occasionally sniping at
each other over that nonsense. But now she's
sick, so it's time to put aside the dick measuring
contest. Given that it's a Nurgle plague, it's
equal parts contagion and magic. And because
Max is a hell of a wizard, he's able to cure
her after a little bit of time. There's also
mentioned, which I think this is just neat, that
Max was able to see the microscopic demons in
Ulrica's blood. And to this day, I don't know
if that's literal or because they're like a Renaissance
society, right? If Max just used wizard vision
to see bacteria, but he doesn't know what that
is because they're still doing leech bloodletting,
and he just assumed bacteria were demons. Up
to interpretation, I guess. Whatever you think
isn't cooler, I guess. Ulrich is cured, but she's
still out for a bit. And with that, the cultists
start upping the ante. They start attempting
to poison the city's food supply. which is partially
thwarted by the four non -sick protagonists.
But they still poison one silo. They warn the
Duke and realize that cultists are just rising
up across the city now. As with most chaos cults,
they start building towards that crescendo. And
on top of this, there is a massive buildup of
magical energy focused around Prague, which I
did mention. Prague is the haunted city. the
dead start walking the street and it's pretty
terrifying. But again, it, it just happens sometimes
in Prague. So it's very scary. And I mean, I'd
be horrified if I walked outside and my grandpa
was walking down the street again, faintly glowing
blue. I'd be like, all right, well, that's, that's
disturbing. Yeah. They know what they know. They've,
they've heard of it. Yeah. So they're like, Oh,
it's like, Oh shit. That again. Uh, it's, it's
more of a morale drain on all of like the, foreigners
in Prague because, you know, the brunt of a chaos
invasion, a lot of different people are here,
mercenaries in particular, who know that chaos
invasion equals big payout if you live. That
last part's the sticking point, though. Yeah.
Max, meanwhile, is made an advisor to the Duke
of Prague and starts helping him, you know, matters
of chaos and whatever the hell's going on with
that energy buildup, which is, those two things
are very much related. And because, another jump
cut very quickly, unstable amounts of magic in
massive quantities are very interesting. Clan
Mulder gives Thankul an army to go investigate.
Oh no. He's just given one. A disposable army,
I assume. Because what else is there? I mean,
as all Skaven armies are. Bro! So stupid! That's
it. We can cut away from that goal again. That's
it. God bless. God bless that goal. Bro. Key
God. No word. Halleck, meanwhile, is also getting
a little bit annoyed. Much like his master, Eric.
No matter who he sends after Gotchik and Felix,
because there was a few more attempts, they keep
failing. The dwarf and the human are never dead.
And he's also now getting worried about being
discovered, because he knows they're kind of
investigating a bit, because every now and then,
Villum will make another appearance, they'll
talk, and then we just mysteriously cut to Halleck
about, oh man, they're getting close, they're
on the trail, I know what's happening. So now,
instead of singing it after Godric and Felix,
he sends assassins after one of the girls at
the brothel who Felix was asking about. Which,
I mean, would have succeeded. But, you thought
I was kidding. Bjorni, that horny son of a bitch,
was currently seeing her when he sent the assassins.
And so, they were fended off. And the girl, her
life was saved. You thought I was kidding when
I said the tits were important to the survival
of Brog. They were. When are they not? Wars have
been fought for less. And with that, they now
officially learn that Halak is Vilem. And they
rush to the palace to warn his brother. Where
we then cut to Vilem, where this is actually
a fairly sad moment. Willem is about to kill
his brother, Enric. He's about to kill the Duke.
But something that's been happening throughout
the book is as the siege progresses, the cult
does more and more things. Willem is kind of
having second thoughts. He's like thinking more
and more. He's like, I don't know. Do I really
want to do this? And he's like, well, I'm kind
of damned anyway. I've already committed to Zinj.
It's not like I, even if I do survive and leave,
I can hardly go anywhere. You know, if I betray
chaos, I've already betrayed order. So it's like,
well. but as he's about to kill his brother,
he basically realizes he's a monster. And even
knowing full well, he's damned. He does. He sacrifices
himself to stop the underlings he has from killing
his brother, which is the way it's like it's
written is actually pretty sad. And it buys Godric
and Felix enough time to get there and kill the
rest of the assassins, which they get there.
And it's just his brother, Duke Enric is looking
down at his. brother's corpse. He was a hero.
He saved my life. And Felix pointly avoids telling
him that he was about to kill you. Because his
brother's obviously devastated. Because as far
as his brother knows... His own brother just
tried to save him. He's already having a bad
day. Why pile on some more trauma? Don't worry
about it. But this is... There is no happy ending
for Villum, though, where he's secretly allowed
into Sigmar or Ursin's afterlife, because I believe
it specifically mentions the last thing Villum
sees before death takes him is Zeech himself.
Maybe that was the plan all along. Well, he couldn't
escape being a villain. Hell of a way to go,
though, damn. But with that, the scheming, there's
no more scheming. We're done with that. Eric
is done with that. And in spite of, I can't believe
it's not Lorgar and Kelmain telling him that
you should not attack the city right now, he
orders his final assault. All that magical energy
that was gathered is used to summon an absolutely
massive horde of demons, and it's time to take
Prague. He's done. He's... destined to conquer
the world and rule it all. He's done waiting
on his incompetent underlings to kill this midget
and his twink. He's sick of it. So, assault begins.
Gotrek's axe is bullshit strong enough that it
can destroy siege towers if he hits it hard enough.
Wow. Which, pretty good. But there is only one
Gotrek, and Gotrek can only be at one place at
a time. So the defenders have to retreat from
the outer layers, retreat from the walls to the
inside of Prague. And Gotrick and Felix remain
there to hold off as long as they can. Because
after all, at this point, it is Gotrick, Felix,
well, it's Felix and four other slayers. Because,
you know, Snorri, Gotrick, Oli, and Bjorni. the
slayers are there for their doom and felix said
he'd be there to record it so they're they're
basically planning on dying at the wall i do
like um there's there's a recent doom uh the
dark ages trailer that came out where it's like
the villain just being like oh i've got this
armies and his order just like avoid the slayer
and it's so true with like god just like oh he's
just gonna kill anything oh just go around him
don't worry about him Wear him down eventually.
And he is a slayer. And it made me instantly
think of that. Just like the big villain. Just
like, oh yeah, don't worry about him. He's just
going to mess anything up that goes in his way.
Just go around. He can only be in one place at
one time. Truly the horse archer strategy to
anything. Just wonderful. You know, Cantabrian
circle and run around. That's all you have to
do. Give me that Crassus death. Run it. Also,
again, another side cut. Part of the Chaos Horde
also just kind of pissed off and runs into Thanquil's
force. So now he's fighting Chaos too. Again,
we're not here for long. That's just... Thanquil's
now also indirectly helping the defenders of
Frog. I was about to say, oh my god. It was stupid.
You can just imagine Banquo leaving and just
being like, and nothing can stand in my way.
Oh, fuck God. That's a lot of Chaos Warriors.
Where did they come from? I wasn't expecting
them. Yeah. While Felix and the Slayers are just
at the walls awaiting their deaths, a catapult
rock crashes into the wall and knocks Godric
clean out. He's unconscious. Which... Everyone
kind of decides to take the tactical retreat
and drag his ass to the Temple of Shalia, a goddess
of mercy, to heal Gotrek up. He gets healed up,
and as they start fighting through the streets
back into the fray, things have devolved into
complete and utter chaos. Lowercase c, by the
way. You know, it's important when we're talking
about chaos. The Horde, there's no longer any
sense of discipline now that it's the final assault.
Erik has lost all control over his legions, and
they're just... rampaging through the street
uh it's just it's street by street building by
building fighting some of the chaos warriors
are just fighting each other now at this point
because again it's a mixed chaos army they do
not like each other very much and now that they're
just not listening to the guy in charge so it's
complete mayhem uh but it's still a chaos horde
in your streets Still not looking good for Prague.
Still worse for Prague than it is for any of
the individual chaos forces. But the twins turned
out to be quite spot on in their prediction that
you should not attack the city right now because
there's a double one -two whammy. I guess three,
counting Thankel's tomfoolery off in the distance.
But more directly, Malachi's back with the spirit
of Grungni hovering over the city and just dropping
bombs on the chaos horde. Death from above, full
on, hell yeah. I like Malachi, he's fun. He's
very fun, even if reading his dialogue can be
a struggle sometimes. And Ulrica's father also,
who had been sent out pretty much, I think, even
before the book started, has returned with the
Ice Queen of Felix, Katarin herself. They're
purging the city. They have surrounded it, re
-surrounded it from chaos, and they're coming
in to just sweep it clean. uh which not great
for chaos felix as he's you know he's kind of
catching sight of everything he rallies uh the
remaining defenders around him through the time
-honored method that's kept him alive all these
years of telling everyone to follow the dwarf
and it will probably keep you alive more likely
than it won't just like following a force of
nature like a like a tornado like that'll clear
a path just stand far enough behind you don't
get swept up you'll be It's like, look, stand
behind the tornado, you'll be fine. A very short
tornado. Does anyone here play Rome 1, like the
first Rome Total War? Oh, dude, I've got thousands
of hours. This is like the equivalent of following
after either the Berserker unit from the Germanic
tribes or the Flaming Pigs. Just immediately
after. Yeah, don't get too close. The flaming
pigs. Give me a bridge battle with berserkers
or phalanx, please, bro. That's all I need. Release
the pigs. Yes. Oh, bro. At this point, the twins,
in proper Zinj fashion, just leave. They just
teleport away. They're like, I see the writing
on the wall. The ice queen of a land perpetually
covered in snow has arrived. That is a blimp.
I don't know what a blimp is, but the dwarfs
have one. I'm going to, we're going to leave.
And sure enough, they do. Can we check in there
at it? No, it's too high up. I too am bouncing
when the blimp mobile is in town. And they leave
and Eric is sensing that he made by this point
a slight lapse in judgment and that perhaps the
twins were right. But at this point, it's too
late to pull back. You've already committed.
And the city is now re -surrounded. So, time
to fight. So, he decides to engage Gotrek head
-on, which goes a bit better for him than normal.
Oh, also, I skipped over it a bit. Uli, the one
who, you know, I mention him every now and again,
he's the one who, like I said, he was a little
bit of a scaredy -cat, not the bravest guy around,
even for a Slayer, but... Throughout these books,
like this book especially, he's getting a little
bit braver. He's starting to feel confident in
his abilities. Less afraid of the Slayer Oath.
Kind of embracing that he is a death -bound warrior,
but he's not being much of a coward. He's ready
to fight, right? He gets killed by a Beastman.
Poor guy. I don't think it was even a particularly...
It wasn't like a Minotaur or anything. It was
just a gore. Well, at least the Beastmen got
a little bit of lore that was significant, so
good for them. Yeah, hey, they killed a Godric
and Felix character. Neither of the two, but
hey, something. He did. He did fulfill his oath.
No one can deny him that. Oh, fulfilled. Bozo.
Yeah. Poor guy. Eric, for his part, almost overpowers
Godric. The fight's going his way. He is, again,
he's a Zinchian Chaos Lord. He's got some real
powerful enchanted armor and weapons. And again,
Zinch, so there's probably some future sight
going on a little bit. Almost kind of like, you
know, Kurs, like the fighting the lion, that
kind of stuff. Zinch is almost overpowering Godric.
But it is then by that point that... Bjorn and
Snorri just tackle him from behind. Bjorn also
dies here. I guess seven characters was a bit
too many for William King to juggle. So there
goes Bjorn. Snorri just barely manages to hold
him off, push his sword back with his weapons.
By that point, while Eric is distracted, Godric
walks up and lops his head off. Felix raises
the chaos lord's decapitated head high, which
sets off a chain of panic in the chaos warriors
who can see it, which causes the rest of them
to panic, which causes more and more to panic.
And the demons begin dissipating as the warlord
holding everything together was slain. And the
day is just barely saved. as Malachi and Katarin
come in to mop up who's left. There is some mention
of Katarin and Malachi negotiating dwarf help
in the upcoming Chaos Invasion, because there's
metaphorically, not literally, Arkan's not here
right now, but metaphorically, they know there's
another greater invasion on the horizon when
the Everchosen himself makes his appearance.
But again, for now, victory has been achieved.
And the book ends on a final note of Thanquil
managing to defeat the enemy forces despite being
outnumbered four to one. And I should clarify
that Thanquil outnumbered them four to one, which
he considered to be overwhelming odds against
him. Yeah. Goodness sake. Bro, he is the nepos
of babies. The biggest nepo baby of life. I don't
know. No one's like... He's not getting given
power. I mean, he is, but it's... He's not getting
given in a way because it's like... He's related
to another member of the Skaven Council. He just
keeps bullshitting his way into it. And he'll
just keep winning. He'll say, no, no, stop. It's
too much winning. He's just the embodiment of
fake it till you make it, but you never make
it. You just fake it and fake it and fake it.
He's like almost the inverse of Caiaphas Cain,
where Cain's really competent but doesn't believe
in himself. Thanquil believes in himself more
than anyone has ever believed in themselves.
My God, is he an idiot? Yeah, he is. at least
when i didn't believe in myself thank will believe
in himself all right so he did he's channeling
that like youtube alpha male like influencer
vibe just like yeah yeah yeah you just gotta
believe and you just gotta get your money get
your bet get your bread oh it'll work out in
the end did you go get your gonna get your bugatti
all right and get your work why don't you say
i'm from somerset all right that's because right
there i'm an influencer um yeah i guess i could
cut i would just say just some like last thoughts
on the book it is uh not my favorite but it's
one of my favorite of the gotch and felix stories
um i like did breeze through some stuff but like
there's only there's only so many ways like i
didn't mention it with villain there's only so
many times you can repeat villain is feeling
villain's feeling bad and then we cut away And
then we cut back, and he's doing something evil
again, but he's feeling bad. Cut away, rinse
and repeat. But they do, like, build him up fairly
well throughout the book. They do make his, like,
sacrifice at the end feel pretty, like, pretty
sad, especially because, again, his last thoughts
are of him going to Zeech himself. And there's
a cool passage kind of at the start where Felix
is just looking out at the horn and thinking,
every... Every time chaos invades, the borders
get pushed back a little bit from how far is
no man's land. So it is a very good read throughout.
It doesn't have the highest of moments, but it's
probably overall one of the most consistently
just like, it was a good book, good read. We
did have some more donations that were very generously
given there. angry homunculus for £5. So Felix
was fighting that Japanese guy who licked his
own poison. I love that clip so much. It's for
those who have... It's some like some goofy film
that like completely homemade like jokey action
movie, I think. I haven't seen, like, all of
them. But the guy's like, this blade is very
poisonous. The slightest cut is lethal, and he
licks it. I probably shouldn't have licked it
when he just falls over dead. Oh, we didn't read
that. Oh, Bean. We got to do Bean. Only Eli were
here. Do you think Vulcan said Flint and Steel
before he did the funny thing? Flint and Steel.
What do you mean when he trialed Eldard? Yeah.
Flint and Steel. Tom Warren with the five. Talos
chimed all over Cyrodiil and that's why it doesn't
have any jungle. That's true. It's such a weird
part. Elder Scrolls always. Or it's not true
and the white gold tower just did that. Wow.
Do you want to read this one, Colin? Colin will
wear a green hat in 10 weeks. All right. Wow.
That's very specific. Specific? Let me check
my calendar real quick. I mean, I don't want
to disappoint. That's a very easy ask. This cast
is the only reason I care about fantasy. Well,
thank you. Thank you, man. For the two euros.
Appreciate that. When is 10 weeks, Andy? I think
that's the 4th of July. 4th of July, I think.
I can't wear green on that day. America Day.
Bunny Cop for 10 bucks. Song recommendation during
Ghost City of Prague. Flip City by Glenn Frey.
Also, Thanquil is the best rat clown. Even in
his own book, he's not allowed to just win without
failing. I mean, Thanquil is just a genius. I
don't know how anything ever thought of that.
There's just a thing where it's like he probably
sets the standard of what is just probably skaven
from then on. I don't think anyone had that.
His first book starts with it follows some humans
finding something. His very first passage is
him unconscious having a PTSD flashback about
Godric and Felix. And then he wakes up. being
carried on like tied to a pole by other skaven
and he immediately begins blaming other people
for his problems it is great mr william king
the author has definitely worked with a thankful
in his life there's too much there's some personal
inspiration 97 gary okay it was him I mean, to
be honest, from the rumor mill that I've heard
about the history of people employed at Games
Workshop, it might have been inspired by someone
who worked there. I've heard some things that
would not shock me if that was the case. If there's
anything more, is it the next part of the story,
Colin? We're now going to cover the book Vampire
Slayer, which is a direct sequel. This will be
a bit shorter. Vampire Slayer is a bit shorter
book, and it is also a lot of it is just... I'm
sorry, I just saw the latest dono real quick.
Bean with the five. Colin needs to wear his iconic
green hat and do his iconic Eldar jig. I don't
know what to make of that. I don't... Is that
an insult? I mean, by blood, I'm mostly Irish,
I guess. not not quite doesn't quite count i
think i think to be honest the chat is just trying
to willing things into existence like we will
tell you this is what you will do and you will
do it do it funny i don't know i don't know how
to tell you this real life isn't warhammer if
you believe in something hard enough it will
not just show up are you telling me remember
guys we love you but don't follow your dreams
it's not gonna work out that's what colin meant
No, see, those are Hal's words, not Colin's.
Hal's just saying, give up. You're gonna do the
9 -5 until you die, okay? Give up. Again, Hal's
words, not Colin's. Employment is prison. Enjoy.
That's all what we live for. Vampire Slayer.
Speaking of immortality. Hal's diatribe, yeah.
Like I said, direct sequel. So the five fellas,
Max, Snorri, Ulrika, Gatric, and Felix, they're
still hanging around what's left standing of
Prague. The day has been won, but the city is
doing about as well for a city that's just been
given the once -over by a chaos horde. So rebuilding's
beginning. Everyone's trying to make some order.
When Felix is walking through the street, ruminating
as he often does when he's forced to think about
his life. Because there's not beer in front of
him to distract him. When he comes across a woman
weeping over a dead body. So that's a... Farewell,
wee man. So that is a... Wee man. Shout out to
Jackass. It's all Brian's day. But it's a real
great start to a book, right? Oh, that's a dead
body. Through her, he talks to her. He's like,
well, what happened? They learn there's a killer
that's come to the city and is striking out across
it. Initially, he suspects chaos because chaos
just mulled over the city. It's a pretty reasonable
thing to assume. But we will shortly learn that
that is not the correct assumption to make. as
we cut to the perspective of a vampire named
Adolphus Krieger, who I'm going to refer to as
Krieger, had come to the city seeking an artifact
known as the Eye of Khemri, which, as the name
implies, is an intentionally magical artifact
from the time of the Tomb Kings and when they
were still flesh and blood as opposed to dust
and bones. So we got a vampire looking for some
incredibly powerful ancient artifact. The nobleman
who owns this eye is distantly related to Ulrica,
so he hires the five fellas to investigate the
disappearance of a lot of his guards. Some of
his guards have been kind of just vanishing.
He's fearing that either he or the eye or his
stuff in general, they might be next. He's worried
he's on the chopping block. So, you know, Gotrick,
Felix, Snorri, Ulrica. start investigating a
bit, guarding the nobleman, making sure our thing
is safe and proper. When Max decides, I'm going
to take a little peek at the eye. He's a hell
of a wizard. He's very powerful. He wants to
see what this thing is all about. Why might someone
want this eye? What makes it special beyond its
old and magical, which is... You can trip over
a rock in Warhammer Fantasy and find something
old and magical. What makes this thing any more
special? When he investigates it, he takes a
peek at it. He starts unraveling some of the
layers of defenses around it. It's a cool scene
where he's using Mage Sight and unweaving a web
of traps and stuff. He's thinking the whole time,
this is a very well -defended artifact. There's
a lot of powerful enchantments on this thing.
I wonder who made it. And then he falls into
a coma and probably shits his pants a little
bit because the last thing he sees before he
falls into that coma is Nagash. My God. Do you
want to give just a brief context for someone
who doesn't know who Nagash is? So Nagash, for
those who don't know, is the great necromancer,
the father of necromancy, the man who turned
an entire faction, the Tomb Kings, into undead
skeletons who can never die. And... A wannabe
god? There's no wannabe about it. He is perhaps
the most, according to Colin, infallible creature
who has ever existed. Of course. Nagash has done
no wrong. Such is the power of Nagash. His genocides
are oopsies. It's in that vein. This dude is...
He has not a single thread of positive human
like there's not a single thing about him that's
redeeming no compassion nothing look it's it's
quite simple how i'm not even going to say they're
oopsies if nagash has decided they need to go
then they were clearly detrimental to the world
i mean it's nagash decided it and therefore it
is yes there's a grand vision of killing every
single person in the world so that he can raise
them up as undead and they serve him i would
just like to say I would just like to say that
you may make fun of me, you two, and chat and
audience all you wish, but I would just like
you to do a little mental exercise and just replace
the word Nagash with Emperor and tell me I am
wrong. All I'm doing is worshipping someone who
started as a skeleton. All I was going to say
was... Considering Nagash has no organs, he's
very good at getting people to empty theirs.
That's all I was going to say. Yeah, Nagash is...
For a while, he's the final end boss of fantasy.
Prior to the end times, him coming back in a
big way is viewed in the same way as if Korn
just stepped outside in your front lawn. Max
just found a little artifact that has enough
of Nagash's direct presence that he saw the dude.
And he basically, his whole lower intestines
quivered because he was about to release. Oh
yeah. That is a spell of instant diarrhea. The
rupturing has begun. And it's especially bad
because like, again, like a lot of people in
Warhammer fantasy or it's like, renaissance times
which for people who aren't noblemen and merchants
and cities means it's medieval times but the
paintings are slightly nicer uh even the average
uneducated imperial peasant knows what nagash
is so uh he's he's bad news the baddest news
the baddest news uh with that in mind uh yeah
he's unconscious now so he's out for a bit While
this is happening, Krieger, the vampire friend
who's looking for this artifact, realizes that
these five have inserted themselves into the
plot of another Gachik and Felix book, and sends
his underlings to go attack them. You know, the
classic, send out my minions. But, for once,
he didn't actually think they would kill the
five. Or, I guess, four right now, because Max
is currently spazzing out unconscious. Uh, he
just sent his underlings as a diversion while
he goes to the noble's manor and steals the eye
himself. He kills the noble, grabs the eye, and
takes Ulrica hostage. Uh, Felix and the rest
of the dwarfs hold themselves back from tearing
through Ulrica to kill the vampire, which, a
lot more reluctance about that on, you know,
Gotrek's part than anyone else's, because he's
an asshole. Uh, and... Not Ulrica. Krieger escapes
with Ulrica. Totally blinked on her name after
I said it like three times. So Katrick, Felix,
and Snorri spend the next few days just wandering
around Prague looking for him. They're just walking
around like headless chickens. Where's Ulrica?
Where the hell did Ulrica go? Where is she? When
at this point, our dear friend Max wakes up and
reveals that as he was defecating himself and
falling unconscious, he put a tracking spell
on the eye because he is the goat. He is, he
is just that good of a wizard. Uh, so he learned,
they learned that he, uh, he fled to Sylvania.
And aside from following Krieger to Sylvania,
you know, rescue Ulrica, you know, Felix and
Max's love interest and, you know, Godric and
Snorri, they're still friends as much as Godric
is friends with anyone. Uh, and Also the reason
being, hey guys, a vampire has an artifact of
Nagash. I'd like the world to not end if that's
quite alright with all of you. Double undead
combo. This is bad. Oh god. Slight benefit, guys.
All recur. Also, before I forget to mention it,
I forget sometimes, world -ending plot device.
Yeah, by the way, right? Your girlfriend, my
girlfriend, whatever love triangle throuple nonsense
is going on here. Also, by the way, just if you
can find time, something that will end the world.
If you've got time. If there's money left over
from the shop. If you've got a few minutes. yeah
if you were ever in a relationship and your partner
found like unrefined uranium um maybe check that
out i don't know seems a bit dangerous like did
you did you remember liking like milk yeah yeah
oh by the way just just dug up a old unexploded
world war ii in my in the garden Just check it
out. It had that yellow symbol on it with a circle
and some bits. I don't know. I can't remember
what it means. I hit it with a shovel and it
didn't seem to do much. I'm going to hit it again.
That reminds me. I don't know if you've ever
seen it. It's a green text about a guy who was
collecting cobalts with drill bits for a project
of spent fuel rods. oh my god oh my someone in
the thread asked them to show us the root gen
root gens however you say that word the guy took
a picture and he received oh right gun right
again yeah i don't know however you say it and
he received the maximum industry recommended
safe dose of radiation for a year and the amount
of time it took him to take a picture i think
there was one where it was like um just come
to get out of there stalker There was a guy in
Australia who he wanted to make his own version
of like a display case of the periodic table,
but with like an actual piece of each element
in it. And then he ordered some, I think, uranium
for the periodic table. But then he ordered like
a safe, like one that could be handled by people.
But the problem is... it was safe in certain
countries and not in australia so the entire
i think the entire like counter -terrorism force
like knocked down his door a bit like where's
a periodic table you know radiation i've i've
seen chernobyl the series many times it's so
good it's like oh it's free wine gun and they
go there and the guy's like it's not free wine
gun it's 15 000. The bit that terrifies me about
that show is the bit where the guys see the roaring
flame, and you realise the moment they saw it,
they died. Yeah, basically. They're walking dead.
The firefighters uniforms that are in the basement
of the hospital still today are like deadly radioactives
because they went and like sprayed water on the
fire. And it's like, you can go there today and
get a Geiger cabinet. It's like, yeah, not good.
Not good. Not ideal. Nope. Yeah. So with that,
I hate that word. I said Roentgens for the longest
time. Because that's how it's spelled. Yeah.
But yeah, so it's time to go to Sylvania. Vampires,
baby. There's also Ulrica's father, Ivan, comes
with them alongside a decent amount of his own
warriors because his daughter's been kidnapped.
He has a vested interest. So yeah, with that,
they take off to Sylvania. Ulrica for her part.
is now a cactive. Cactive? Captive. A cactus?
She's now a cactus. I don't know where I was...
Captive. Captive. Her and Krieger talk very hostily
about the nature of vampirism. Ulrica's just
stuck there, so what are we going to do? And
Krieger just seems to want someone new to talk
to for a bit, because... He's got a hostage.
Might as well strike up a conversation, right?
They talk a lot about vampirism because, you
know, Krieger's a vampire. He has a vested interest
in, how do I put it nicely? Undoing a lot of
the harmful myths about vampirism and how, no,
they're not all that bad. Which, you know, there
are a decent amount of non -awful warhammers
and vampires. vampires in Warhammer. A decent
amount of them aren't horrid people. He is not
on that list. But he's clearing up some misconceptions,
which, to be fair, a pretty surprising amount
of vampire lore comes from this paragraph. Like,
he mentions how no two vampires are the same,
hints at the bloodline stuff, and he's like,
some vampires can walk in the sun and although
feels a little bit sluggish, others will combust
on the spot. Some... If you say Sigmar's name,
they will just like get Dr. Manhattan. Just others
can fight in the middle of an altar of Sigmar
and be totally fine. So, you know, we get a lot
of vampire lore right now. She's during this
whole time. She does escape several times. Like
she keeps running away. She doesn't want to be
here. It's winter and she's in Sylvania. Like
going down from Kislev to Sylvania. So she'll
pass out, gets brought back, escapes, passes
out, brought back, escapes. And it's pretty much
outright stated. He's just kind of letting her
do it because he finds it amusing. And the whole
time he's also drinking her blood to bring her
under his dominion, which... Over time, she becomes
angry at herself as she finds the experience
almost pleasurable, which is a surprisingly common
trope in vampire fiction, that a vampire drinking
your blood is actually like a high. At least
in Vampire the Masquerade it is. There's like
a venom to it, isn't it? There's a slight venom.
Yeah, and it's like there's magical dominion
is happening too. It's a very messy time. She's
not happy with herself that she's finding she's
enjoying it more. So she's going through a hell
of a hostage situation. It's not fun to be a
worker right now. Me during the Bali movie. Yeah.
Slowly enjoying it more, but definitely in a
hostage situation. Hey, those movies are art.
Fine art. I'm enough. It's all right. Oh, you
said Barbie. I thought you said Bali. say dude
a bollywood action sequence is the best thing
you'll see in your life i broke no slander though
that one with the guys when they're like get
fired out of a cannon into a castle and they're
like they form a shell of shields yeah that's
like the best thing i've ever seen Ulrica's going
through it. Krieger, when he's not talking with
Ulrica, we again, we get a lot of insight in
how vampires on average view their mortal followers
because he's spending his whole time stringing
them along. They're very diligently serving him,
doing what he asks. And the whole time he's thinking
to himself, I know what they want. They want
the blood kiss. They just want to be turned into
a vampire so they can gain all of my power for
themselves, which... He's not wrong. And the
whole time he's just stringing them along. He's
been like, oh, one day you'll get enough of the
blood kiss to become a vampire yourself. And
he'll give them little drops of his blood to
turn them into ghouls, enhance them, make them
stronger, give them that addiction. He's never
going to give them the full thing. They're never
going to get the full Nelson, the full deal.
It's like every season of What We Do in the Shadows
where it's like, get them all. It'll give you
the power to be a vampire eventually, and it's
like five seasons later, he's not got it. Because
if he gives them the power of vampirism, then
they might stop serving him. They might try and
overthrow him now that they're vampires. So,
he just keeps doing that. They get attacked by
goblin wolf riders, but this is more so just
to show that Krieger, he's been studying that
eye. He's getting a bit more powerful. As he
just turns all of the Goblin's wolves to their
side, the Goblins get butchered, and adding them
to his growing little horde. Keeps, again, drinking
more of Ulrica's blood, bringing her more and
more under his sway, hinting at what is to come
very shortly. If we did this a year ago, I probably
would have said, spoiler alert, but Ulrica's
now in Total Warhammer, and she's very distinctly
pale with glowing red eyes. So you can probably
guess how this book goes for Ulrica. Yeah, as
Gotching and Felix for their part, this is, like
I said, this is going to be the shorter of the
two things we're talking about today. Because
a lot of it is them traveling across Kislev to
Sylvania, dealing with the cold, camping out.
Pretty mundane stuff. They eventually arrive
in Sylvania to the town of... Waldenschloss,
which is very fun to say. It is not an important
lore town. I like saying the silly German names.
What can I say? Waldenschloss. Waldenschloss.
Oh, yeah. We're going to Waldenschloss to meet
my friends. We're going to have so much fun.
Just immediately. fell over laughing or has jumped
off a bridge and you know they get to this town
and they start learning basically codex lore
a little bit about the vampire counts and more
importantly to the story and the setting in general
that vampirism is on the rise again in sylvania
more and more towns are coming under the control
of the undead their undead masters and That's
not good. No. They meet during this a noble woman
named Gabriella von Noctofen. I'm just going
to call her Gabriella because that is a mouthful.
And after helping her defend her group from a
beastman attack, because no matter where you
are in Warhammer fantasy, you are never more
than seven feet from a beastman. And they learn
that Krieger plans to use the Eye of Khemri to
bring every vampire he can get his hands on.
under his control for a massive undead army.
Because, you know, the Sylvanian vampires didn't
have a very one -track mind of step one, get
army, step two, gun it for the throne of the
empire. Hmm. If at first you don't succeed, try,
try, try, try, try, try again. He's not very
smart, but he's got spirit. It's a vermintide
voice line of all places that they have stopped
numbering the vampire wars. Because they're worried
it's just going to encourage the vampires to
keep trying. It's like Barden was talking, he
was like, you were at the Battle of Hellfen where
you killed Manfred. He's like, no, that was like
200 years before I was born. This was the Fifth
War, I think. We stopped naming them. We stopped
keeping track. If they get to fun numbers like
50, they'll start to get emboldened and go, this
is surely the one. Get to 100. Once we get to
100, then surely we'll win, because that's a
fun number. Yeah. So, yeah. They also... Something
about Gabriela. They notice that her and the
rest of the Sylvanian nobles and people he's
seen... It would be like... Imagine you... No,
well... They eat. Most of them. He doesn't see
Gabriela eating. Uh, but most of them, you know,
even the ones that are just people, uh, imagine
if someone from like Victorian England, like,
like you want, you walk down a street, right?
You turn left and you are back in Victorian England,
the way they speak, the way they are dressed,
their mannerisms, they're like everything. They're
like, Felix noticed that like, they're like three
centuries behind the empire on fashion and like
trends and news and everything. Why do they keep
saying thou? That's strange. Yeah, it's like,
what is happening here? Sylvania is a massive
province. So he's like, oh, this is weird. It's
like the whole province is like a time capsule,
ignoring the undead. In the meantime, Krieger
has already started raising an undead army from
a graveyard near him, and worse. Ulrica is now
a vampire. That is not ideal. When she wakes
up, all she knows is that she is ravenously hungry.
Just soul -crushingly, unbearably starving. Damaged.
Food does not do anything. If anything, it makes
it worse. So she's roaming through Castle Drakenhof,
where Krieger has taken them. The home of the
vampire counts, basically. And is just, like,
bullrushing through the entire place looking
for food, looking for something to eat. Which
she cannot find. Until she finds a merchant that
was one of Krieger's underlings and drinks him
like a Capri Sun. Damn. Bone dry. Where she then
vomits, passes out, and then wakes up again in
a lovely, lovingly well -lit and comfortable...
bedroom krieger had prepared for her where he
informs her that you are now a vampire sweetie
it is uh it is not great so she uh spends the
next like every time we pan back to her horrified
at what she's become and kind of wanting to die
it's rough so yeah this is not great And he says
that he turned her because he's grown quite attached
to her and wanted her by his side. Between the
lover and parental implications of turning someone
to vampirism, make of that what you will. Krieger's
a bad guy. Interpret what he meant how you will.
I think someone did clarify, is it Drachenhoff?
Oh, Drachenhoff, yeah. Drachenfels is a different
mess. Thank you, angry homunculus. Thank you
for catching that flub. Cut back to the main
crew, and Gabriela informs Felix that she's a
vampire. The one who sired Krieger, in fact.
So she also has a vested interest in stopping
them. Felix is horrified when she finds out,
is waiting for either her or one of her underlings
to just kill him. She doesn't. She... She has
a vested interest in not being mind -controlled
by her kid. So he informs Max, who reluctantly
is like, I don't like this, but the other guy's
got an artifact of Dagash, so I like that a lot
less, so I guess we'll work together. And eventually
they tell Gottrick, who more so agrees that we'll
kill her later. I will kill her later. I will
kill Krieger, and then I will kill her, and we
will do things in that order. Rather tame for
him, to be fair. It is quite tame. You know,
we're five books in. Gatric II is mellowing out.
He's learned to direct the violence in a certain
direction by this point, instead of just hurricane.
Massacre on the spot is the old him. Now he massacres
on... on a timeline when he needs to. Select
spots, yeah. He's got point A, point B, point
C. He's learning. Character growth. Now they
then learn Max's spell and whatnot. Krieger's
at none other than Drakenhof itself. Like I said,
the capital of the vampire accounts, basically.
And they march out to meet him. As they start
entering the city, the castle, they're ambushed
by a bunch of Krieger's ghouls and more undead,
which kills the no -ones, basically, like all
those Kieselvite warriors Ivan brought with him.
They're dead for the most part now. This was
the way to thin the extra ranks. Max then responds
by killing half of them with a single spell,
because as I said, he is the goat. God bless
you, Max Schreiber. And this is also one of those
confusing moments where it's annoying, where
you go, what kind of fucking wizard are you,
Max? Because he makes a giant ball of light he
can scry through and scan the passages, but it's
also golden light specifically, so it's like,
are you a gold wizard? Are you a light wizard?
I think I might have read somewhere he was briefly
a beast wizard, which is neither of those two
things. So Max is all over the place. I think
it's because, correct me if I'm wrong, in fantasy,
when Teclis, Elf Boy, helped create the magic
system for humans, it was more because humans
couldn't... Elves could do multiple different
laws of magic. because they're amazing, but humans
couldn't necessarily always develop that level
of talent. Theoretically, someone could be more
than just a fire wizard or a beast wizard or
an ambush or anything like that, but it would
be incredibly difficult. Yeah. Improperly doing
that, mixing winds of magic together like that
is a way you can end up with dark magic, which
is... How you go insane with mad power. Or just
go regular insane. Or do the classic Psyker.
I blew up into a demon portal thing. It could
be that. And without too much spoilers. In the
end times. Max kind of goes off the chain a little
bit. With what a wizard as a human is able to
do. But I think at this point. It might have
also just been some. Cross that line out. He's
a this wizard now. Or it might have been. it
was written quite a while ago to the point in
which they hadn't a lot of these things maybe
weren't as established or the supposed like colleges
it's like bro you have a um a talent for uh the
law of metal you're basically gonna only learn
how to do that one but i guess depending on the
wizard if they knew how to do something low level
and something else it's like you know fuck it
you know i mean fireball like like in dnd effort
fireball in the middle of the room just go for
it I do kind of like how the wizards in the setting
are just kind of like career advisors was like,
I think it makes the most sense you specialize
in this type of magic rather than doing too many.
Because if you want a career as a wizard, you've
got to pick one. You've got to master one of
them. Come on. I mean, it is a college. Beyond
All Out, it is the colleges of magic. Tuition
is good. Tuition is free, but if you don't apply,
you're an unsanctioned witch. Tuition or death.
Tuition or Victor Saltzpire is knocking on your
door. Pick one. It's going to get toasty. Where's
Mr. Beast, my lookalike, who's going to come
in and be like, where's the Amazon show for colleges
of magic? But... I trapped a wizard of each college
in this room for 24 hours. But every course,
we just throw a ball at a thing, because that's
all we can do, throw a ball at a thing. God,
Squid Game's too crazy. Squid Game. I know you,
Squid Game. But I watch someone talk about it,
and it's just like, throw the ball near the thing,
and then use the ball, and throw it. It's like,
there's too many balls in this show. Have some
imagination. Come on. I spent 38 hours locked
in a room with Thanquil, and this is what happened.
I trapped everyone in a room with Mortarion and
the last person to leave before they throw up
wins. I forced the lead team of GW to read the
entire End Times books in one sitting and this
is what happened. Spoiler alert, they hated it.
Yeah, so again, Max the Goat. God, he's cool.
He's a cool dude. The main cast finishes the
rest. And eventually, they even manage to find
Ulrica, but they naturally take one look at her
and are horrified. Snorri and Gotrek, they are,
at the end of the day, still dwarves. But they
at least resolve to make her death quick. Which...
Arguably a mercy, given she's a vampire now.
uh but felix doesn't have it in him to let that
happen so felix prevents them and all workers
able to escape uh she also one point comes across
her father right as the final battle is starting
uh and uh nearly by this point when she's face
to face with her father she was like if any if
i'm gonna die i want my dad to kill me said this
is like a very sad moment but then his like her
father is also like sitting there, just like,
it's my baby girl. I can't kill her. It's really
just a sad moment, where they're both just staring
at each other, and he's slowly raising his axe.
Clearly, she's a vampire. He knows what he has
to do, but he's also like, that's my daughter.
Unfortunately for him, though, as this is happening,
Krieger starts using more of the eye, bringing
both Gabriela and Ulrica under his sway. as well
as a whole lot of undead bats, which unfortunately
jump Ivan and kill him, which Ulrika's dad dies
in front of her eyes, and... Ugh. The bats, no
less. To be fair, they're the Warhammer vampire
bats, which is... They're a big dog size, aren't
they? They're like the size of a person. This
is like, what is it, the Tibetan mastiff -sized
bat. Jesus Christ. This is not, you know, Scooby
-Doo, oh, the vampire, you know, the bat scared
the funny dog. It's that bat stole a cow. It's
like a kangaroo bat. He definitely couldn't take
it. It's the image of the cow being lifted away,
kind of nonplussed. Alright, while I'm thinking
about that, my friend was telling me stories,
like, that there were records of a bird in medieval
times that was big enough to just steal people.
Has anyone read that? No. No. I think it wasn't
someone dressed as a bird. No, it wasn't. There
might have been a thing, like, there was, like,
a vulture or something like that. There was,
like, a vulture on the walk. What are those?
Or it's, like... Tales of, like, harpies from,
like, The Witcher, where it's, like, a bat woman
creature. It might be a thing where, like, some
species went extinct not as long ago, but there
may be, like, things where they found small child
bones in, like, nests of things. I do like the
idea that just humans just went, right, I've
had enough of this. Just throw them into extinction.
All right, birds. Warning. No more of that. Stop
evolving like that. Fuck it. Let's beat up some
dogs. Jesus. So now, like, Mr. Krieger's taking
control. I assume the castle is basically...
There's no big dog other than him at the time.
Yeah. He does start, like, animating suits of
undead armor and, you know, the classic undead
that make up a Warhammer fantasy vampire army.
But at the moment, Vlad's been dead for a while.
Same with Isabella. Manfred, I think he's also
dead at this point in time. He's not around.
He's currently sinking somewhere into a mud pit.
He's busy. He's got things taken up to worry
about. It's just Krieger at the moment. Closest
thing to a head honcho in the vampire accounts.
But even he's no flab by any stretch of the imagination.
But still a vampire in Warhammer. Still a very
big threat. So as all the animated suits of armor
and minions and monsters he has start attacking,
the two forces fight. And while he's fighting,
again, he is fighting Godric, who's holding an
axe forged by a god. Intensely magical axe. it's
distracting enough and dwarfs are inherently
anti -magical each of them is kind of like a
a mini blank where they can't just ignore lightning
completely when you shoot it out of your fingers
at them like palpatine but it hurts a lot less
than if you or me did that or well suffered from
that so he starts losing some distraction which
allows Ulrica Gabriela to shake off his influence
for just long enough to fight a bit and distract
Krieger for his demise to come through. His demise,
which comes in the form of Snorri Nosebiter riding
a chandelier down on top of him. Oh, yes. Crushing
him to death. And then one of the last lines
of the book before we go back to the sad epilogue
chapter is Snorri going, did Snorri get him?
I can't remember if it was Gotrek or Felix who
said, yes, Snorri, you got him. Oh, bruh. You
know, is there anything more satisfying than
a villain dying under a chandelier? Especially
if it's a shiny one that's really big. You know,
in the Age of Stigma Gotrek book, obviously this
is not spoiling anything for everybody, but it's
a new, whole new universe. none of the characters
continue other than gold trek um but he actually
talks like the ghost of snorri in his in um age
of sigmar you keep seeing him and he's like he
literally is like you know oh you again because
he's kind of like yes It's in a way where he's
Godric. He will never admit he just cares for
someone. But he keeps sneaking Snorri's ghosts
out because they're in the realm of the dead.
And Snorri even mentions that he's seen Max and
Ulrica. Someone got a happy afterlife. Although
Snorri might just be happy because he's too stupid
to be sad. In death, anyways. God knows he's
not that stupid in these books when we get to
those bits. Nose biter is a hell of a epithet.
There's worse things to bite, I suppose. Snorri
crotch biter. Toe nibbler. He died as he lived.
Inconvenient. I will brook no slander. for snoring
nose biter. You shut your mouth. I meant someone
in general. Chaos Lord is like Golfang, you know,
toe biter. He died annoying people. So they managed
to, they chandeliered him. Yeah, they chandeliered
him. Gotrek, you know, hit him with an axe just
for good measure. You can never be too sure a
vampire's dead. They come back with alarming
frequency. Can I give a shout -out to a comment
that someone made by Volkai Main, who says, Nosebiter,
I hardly knew her. Thank you, brother. That is
a good comment. Appreciate that. I deeply appreciate
that. But then, yeah, after Snorri's fun little
goof, Jeez, brain short -circuited a bit. They
go back. Gabriela and Ulrica have kind of, you
know... Gabriela says that you are in no condition
to fight me right now. Which, after the big battle
with the vampire and all the minions, they're
kind of right. Even though, God knows, Godric
and Snorri would sure be willing to fight. After
all, a death wish is a death wish. But they convince,
you know, Max, Felix, that maybe... Let's just
part ways. Let's just take a truce. Gabrielle
will take Ulrica as her protege and train her
in vampirism. It should be noted that I should
have said this earlier, but Krieger and Gabrielle
are Lamian vampires. So they're the least problematic
vampires. They don't like making waves. They're
the vampire Illuminati. They're more of the pull
the strings from behind the scenes kind of vampires,
which if nothing else. Yeah. They're not von
Karstein -ing it where they're rampaging through
your town with undead hordes. They're not going
to destabilize your country through axes and
swords. They're going to just crash your economy
in the distance. Oh, how dare you! Tariffs! How
dare you! Lamians don't usually have male vampires.
They don't. That was something a little odd about
Krieger, which is also why he was a little bit
bitter towards Gabriella. Lamian men are not
treated terribly well. But, yeah, so she'll take
Ulrica, and because she's a Lamian, I mean, they
even, a lot of the time, they go out of their
way to not drink blood lethally. They'll just
need to take a little sip, take a little bit
off the top. Just a little neat. Lamians are
cool vampires. They'll help defend against chaos,
too. Because, you know, how am I going to drink
all this blood if corn's spread out all over
the walls? How am I going to drink this blood?
Nurgle's giving it syphilis. Yeah. Exactly. Or
Slaanesh has also given it syphilis. It's like
the Ogryns, where they're like, oh, we won't
eat these people because... the food makes more
food, so that makes sense. It's exactly the same,
just a different stuff. Don't eat the shell.
They do see human as cattle, so it's a pretty
good comparison. So, there is a... There is some
tearful goodbyes about, you know, the Ulrica
leaving. You know, no one is leaving this situation
happy. Except for Gabriella. She got herself
a new protege that probably won't try and take
an artifact of Gash to conquer the world with.
Max and Felix and Ulrica are parting ways. She's
now an undead. There's a lot of heartbreak going
on there. Snorri and Godric aren't exactly happy
losing their friend. Godric is also not happy
he's letting this undead abomination walk free.
He is not afraid to tell you how he thinks. Vampire
Slayer ends on that note. Rather less happy than
the last book where the day is saved but it finally
costs something. She's still kind of alive but
not quite the same. She does get her own books,
doesn't she? She does. I think she's got a trilogy
which I have not read yet. I've heard mixed things
about it. Well, she has an omnibus. It might
be difficult because a lot of the things that
make a character interesting for her might be
the fact that she interacts with Godric and Felix,
and I'm guessing they don't really appear in
the books for her. Not much. She does, I will
say, a little... Not really a spoiler, more of
a forewarning, because she did kind of just walk
off here. They didn't kill her. She does make
a couple appearances again in the future. So
she's not gone, but she's not really part of
the party anymore. With that, there is one short
story, if you don't mind me briefly going through
it, as part of this omnibus where these books
are written, about our good pal Snorri. And this
is the first of where you learn, I don't like
Snorri's point of view, because I'm sad when
I'm reading it. Because it starts with, Snorri
is with a group of knights, right? It's him and
another slayer. Where Snorri is the last person
you'd think have a deep thought, but he does.
As he's traveling with these knights and these
slayer, they're after this cask, like these cask
of vintage wine, vintage winters, some fancy
stuff on a quest. One of the other slayers is...
very loud and bombastic. He's like, I'm going
to get my death and I'm going to kill a bajillion
trolls on the way out. And we were the coolest
guy ever. And story just goes, ah, he's one of
those stupid slayers that seeks their death rather
than just waiting for it to come. And it'll happen
when it happens, which is might be the most mellow
attitude a dwarf has ever had. And then you get
hit with the line of Snorri wishes he had alcohol.
Cause Snorri doesn't like when he's sober. Cause
then he remembers. Oh, Mindy, you want to give
him a hug? It is a lot of an action -based story.
They fight some, I believe, I think it was some
night goblins. Snorri, it's kind of like Felix,
where you don't really appreciate how strong
Snorri is because he's standing next to Godric.
Snorri is cutting heads off left, right, and
center of this book. I'm pretty sure he annihilates
a troll. It's not too much of a discussion. Again,
it's a very short story. It's called A Cask of
Winters, I would advise anyone to read it themselves.
But it's a fun adventure with Snorri. He also
has a moment where he's got some teeth where
one of them calls Snorri stupid. And then his
dopey grin is just that it's like off his face
and he goes, only Snorri's friends can call Snorri
stupid. You aren't Snorri's friends. Not too
much about it. I would implore you all to read
that story. If nothing else, it's a short story.
You can read it in 20 minutes tops. I would advise
you read it. It is very good and sad. Snorri
fight scene. You don't get a lot of those. It's
kind of like that one Caiaphas Kane story where
Jürgen's just doing his own thing. A little short
story. It's Snorri and his own adventure. The
way you were saying about the fighting, it was
like, imagine a blazing fire, but then you compared
that to the sun. Yeah, okay. Sure, a forest fire
isn't quite as hot as the sun, but, you know,
hot enough for you, buddy. With that one, though,
we think we have a few more donors, I think?
Yeah. Yeah, a few more donos just to say thank
you, boys. Oh, wow. 20 euros from RT23. Recently
found out you guys have this collab channel and
I've been loving the contrast each of you provide
to all the topics. Have some euro dollars. Yes,
yes. Yes, yes. Thank you very much, man. I really
appreciate that. Raw666. Hello, Raw, who donated
10 bucks. Who gets more killed in the following
categories? Skaven, Dwarves, Humans, Chaos, and
all four combined. Gattrek, Malachi, or Thanquil?
We can add Felix, but I'm not sure he fouls behind.
I think by pure volume... Oh, God. Probably Thanquil.
No, if you're including Age of Sigmar, it's Thanquil,
because he accidentally flooded all of Skaven
Blight. Happens to the best of us. Accidentally.
Oh, it was an accident because he's an idiot.
Yeah. Nothing malicious. He just, like, killed
a bajillion things. A bajillion scatons. He killed
scatons. Two bucks. Nagash jump scare warning.
Nagash is in your walls. He's always there. Yeah.
Body cop. Thank you for the five bucks. Vampire
Slayer's villain is such a 17 urban edgy nihilist
levels of compelling. Annoying and satisfying
to see finally end. Yeah, that's also part of
why I was a bit quicker with Vampire Slayer,
because Krieger's interest is giving me vampire
lore and what he does with Ulrica. Krieger himself,
I look at every other vampire character and I'm
like, damn, you are so much more interesting
than he is. That's why I got chandeliered. Raw
66. Again, for 10 bucks. Thank you so much, man.
Thank you. I think a humans can only use one
magic at a time for you need centuries to master
the winds to figure out how to mix them. Nothing
says they cannot change schools, but it takes
time to not die. Yeah. In theory, it could happen,
but like high elf wizard training is the kind
of thing that, yeah, it takes centuries. So it's
in theory, they could. We do not have a long
enough lifespan to do that, which is why I'm
pretty sure it's like retconning with max changing
schools at first. Or it might be, it could be
like how it's very, very done in, I think I can
think of like Balthazar using, you know, obviously
he has law of metal, but then he delves into
necromancy slightly. I, that's a bit different.
Necromancy is, yeah, it's not a wind. It is theoretically,
I think any wizard could become a necromancer.
like Sienna in Vermintide, because it's a bit
different of a magical school. It's the perversion
of magic. Yeah, it's like going back to, like
I said, dark magic, where it's dark magic, it's
evil. The name is as it implies. It's not chaos.
It's not like the College of... It's not like
the College of Winterhold, where it's just like,
I've never seen you cast a spell in my life.
Archmage. Oh, okay. Cool. You actually need to
be a wizard to go to the Colleges of Magic. There's
no sword and boarding your way through that.
No. Thank you. Ulrica is actually a hybrid between
Lamian and Von Karsten. Was it retconned? Like
I said, I have not read her trilogy. probably
i imagine they discuss it more in depth there
uh it's predominantly lamian but there is also
vampire lore where the bloodlines have been going
on for so long that there are very few like relative
to how many vampires exist in the world like
pure one bloodline vampires uh through like mixing
of bloodlines and stuff like that after long
enough that's you'll usually be like, you're
a Lamian. But, you know, you're like 85 % Lamian.
A little bit of Von Karsten in there. Or, you
know, you're a blood dragon. You're a real vicious
blood dragon. There might be some Strigoi in
you, buddy. Hmm. And the last one from Organoth.
Oh, wait. We got another one from Organoth. We
got two. Does Sinch usually troll the Skaven
like Fankor's lackey? I don't think he needs
to troll the Skaven because the horned rat does
that enough himself. You can leave the Skaven
alone and they'll... Do it themselves. Yeah.
They'll stand on the proverbial rake every chance
they get. Whack! Ow! Organoth for two bucks again.
Thank you for the ask. Is vampire dark magic
more pure chaos magic? Not quite. It's so...
Magic comes from the realm of chaos. It enters
into the world as dark magic and then splits
into the eight winds of magic. So dark magic
isn't like pure chaos, but it's like the step
below. So you're getting close. Which I imagine
in most fantasy factions, whatever version of
their god that they worship. Even though there's
probably multiple different societies that worship
death, they channel the wind of death in a way
in which it becomes less corrupting, but it's
still obviously a danger because it's magic and
you are leaving yourself open to what essentially
is raw power flowing through a mortal form. I
imagine that's probably it. A lot of it's more
just people being able to handle it. Humans can't,
again. Sorry. Eli's here. Says, today I sought
my doom, in brackets, driver's license renewal,
in the depths of a chaos fortress, the DMV, and
battled many demons of sinch, AMA employees.
Grungy's strongest warrior. Eli lives! Also,
we got a $10 donation from MrB92. No message.
Thank you very much. If there's anything you
want to say, MrB92, we'll read something out,
but appreciate that very much. Andy, do we have
anything else? Sorry, Colin, is there anything
I missed? I'm just going to say for next time,
this was the end of the third, or the second.
omnibus of Gotrek and Felix books. Four more
to go. But my next one has my favorite giant
slayer where Gotrek and Felix go on a little
journey with my husband. Question. How many omnibuses
are there total? Six. Six. Plus Age of Sigmar.
There's Age of Sigmar omnibuses as well for Gotrek.
Gotrick and Felix is Warhammer Fantasy's version
of the Horus Heresy, where GW is out of ideas.
Alright, another one of these fucking things.
I think that's coming to a conclusion. This is
just adventure time. So, Bunny Cop for two bucks.
Stomp, stomp. Andy, we have the question of the
week, don't we? We had a previous question of
your week. So the previous one... Hashtag Slanushi.
Oh, no. It was for Empress children. So to start
us off, Derosa Doodles. Hashtag Slanushi. I will
fold harder than laundry if Slanesh made me Neferati's
eternal boy toy. Would you believe me if I said
that's also a Gatchik and Felix reference? Probably
not intentionally, but... Wow. Wow. We've also
got one from Mike, the Bretonnian Grail Knight.
Oh, Mike, of course. Getting good in Ari lore,
and or anything Bretonnia, of course. Had to
slip in a bit of Bretonnia. Bro, me and Ari are
so in the shit right now. He is Bretonnia's strongest
servant. This man truly, in fact, we owe this
man a Bretonnia episode, just because. Yeah,
fantasy fireside, it exists. The only episode
where Colin bails at the beginning and then Eli
takes over, which is fun. Funny meme. Mike's
a good boy. Yeah. Oh my God. And the last one
from pay 188. So honestly getting GW off their
fat asses and re -release the tactical blood
angels. Cause I want Kazarian and I don't have
a problem guys, please. I, and then it cuts off.
I don't know. Like there's a lot of like, if
things in Warhammer where people are like, oh,
bring back this thing, bring back that thing.
I just want new things. Like, I honestly, God
forbid, if Logan Grimnaw, Marnius Calgar got
it, I'm okay with that. Like, you know what I
mean? Like Dante, he has to have a certain time
when it happens, but like he can get it as well.
But his whole thing is he's the poor suffering
old man who's like. Oh, we've, like, hit Erasmus
Tycho. Oh, look at this amazing Blood Angels
captain. He's amazing. Oh, he's dead. Oh, well,
check out Captain Leonatus. Oh, he's lost in
the war forever. And it's just again and again,
and that's his thing, that he's always, please,
let me go. Yeah, I'm of the opinion, just let
some characters die, man. It's okay. No, the
only one we can kill off is... It's the farce,
not the ethereal. I don't remember the stupid
Dao's name. Eli, comment Goober's name. I don't
remember his name. Hounvar? He's dead. Hounvar's
dead. Hounvi is the one who's like, I have a
spear. And that's Hounvi. He lives in his heart.
With that being said, we do have a new question
of the week, which is obviously, I guess, In
line with what we've discussed today, boys, we
want to ask, you know, who's your gotrek to your
Felix? Who's your ride or die? Who is your duo?
Hashtag ride. Hashtag ride or die. It could be.
I mean, I know Colin. I mean, we all know Colin's
pick. It's basically Teclis, but he really wants
to say Marathi. Are we talking like? Romantically?
Or are we talking platonic? We're talking like
a friend who you can just go on adventures with.
I would have thought Carl Franz would have been
like, you and Carl just... Carl does adventure.
Carl's adventure is paperwork. Who would I go
on an adventure with Warhammer Fantasy? Who would
be an adventure and not I'm the side character
in your book? One of those is adventure. One
of those is Ivan. I have a time limit on my life.
I don't know. It's difficult. A lot of them,
you'll just die. Yeah. I don't know much about
this character, but I think he's really cool.
If it was a character from any of the settings,
I'd probably want to go on a journey with Hamilcar,
Bear Eater. You know, I was actually about to
say that. I was like, no one knows who he is,
but he's quite a lark. I'm Hamilcar. He's a fun
guy. He's the Ant -Man of Warhammer. I choose
Hagar, although he's dead now, but I choose Hagar
the fat space wolf. I'm not joking. He was the
space wolf who he was so fat in his gut they
had to alter his armour so he has a beer gut
when he was a space wolf. I'm going to give you
a good flashing. He's always got gravy stained
in his beard. He's a little bit dumb but he was
also very he's very kind to other space world
guys he's very like chummy but uh he's also a
hell of a hoot and to be fair he also throws
a thunder hammer like a tomahawk but he does
it like four but without the ability to just
pull back it so he just just into a bunch of
enemies and then he runs after it and like that's
amazing he's great um there's one bit um it's
the uh the book where it's because it's in ragnar
black main books and they just meet randomly
like the lost company of space wolves and they're
all like you know their eyes are all glowing
yellow because they're all like slightly wolfened
up and then you know old space wolves meet new
space wolves and then hagar takes out his little
um flask and all this all the old space wolves
go yo is that like mead they're like i haven't
had meat in 30 000 years and then he's such a
fat bastard he's like he really doesn't want
to share mine but he's also like mine though
oh man they like they really haven't had it he's
like make sure you save some for me hands over
the guy immediately downs it all it's like also
also a william william king character as well
so yeah um and he's introduced with his Him stepping
out of his chambers, having put his foot through
a keg of alcohol, and it stuck to his boot. Yeah,
classic. He's just like me. My beloved Hagar.
Who'd you pick, Andy? What did you say for your
one? Probably Hamilcar, just because I think
that'd be funny. I could be his version of Felix,
where I'm like, I'm going to remembrance his
deeds, and then even with that, people still
would know who he was, and that'd be quite funny.
Yeah, and he's cool. Colin, who did you say again?
I'm thinking also Hamilcar, but failing that,
I think Aliothra. She seems like a fun person
to be around. Even the dwarves liked her. If
you're that personable, yeah, I want to hang
out with you. Fair enough. Although, preferably
before she gets Amber alerted by Manfred. I don't
want to be a part of that adventure. Yeesh. Oh
my god. A message from Eli. The contract to my
Felix is beef and rice. True. The amount of times
we've seen him getting ready for a stream and
he's there with his bowl just... Also, we also
got one last donation from Waffle for two bucks.
Thank you, brother. Jack Black with his top side.
Thank you guys for all the donations to stream.
Hope you guys enjoyed the part three of Godric
and Felix. That's all. If you need context for
the previous ones, that's part one and two. And
obviously there'll be more to continue in the
future. Got some more cool episodes of, you know,
one more fantasy lore. I think we, you know,
we'd all love it here. So we'll dip, you know,
we're dipping into that as much as 40K and Horus
Heresy. As Mike has clearly pointed out in chat,
again, once again, thank you for being made this
far. Please do like, subscribe, all that good
stuff. Thank you, Mel, for reminding me, Mike.
We do have merch. I'm wearing it and you're wearing
it, yeah? Got some stuff you want as, like, you
know, presents or anything, you know, just to
show that you're a degenerate like us and you're
a law criminal. And we also have the Discord
as well. I'm sure you can check it out immediately
to see the amount of memes that are making fun
of how we all look. you know, sounds, tastes,
smell, like all that good stuff, everything that's
wrong with us. I've been told I am an abomination
to society. Appreciate that. And, you know, there's
no Christ bingo. That being said, thank you,
especially Colin, who obviously did quite a bit
of heavy lifting on the Godric and Felix law.
Yeah. It was a pleasure to. hear more about the
duo. Now you can go back to play Oblivion. Indeed.
It's always a pleasure to yap, and I will go
back to public announcement. Kill every mer you
see. Erase them from Tamriel. Kill mer. Good
fun. See you guys all in the next episode. Thank
you guys so much. The question of the week was
hashtag ride or die, and we'll see you guys all
in the next one. Peace. Bye, everyone.