Hello, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
it's Law Crimes. Hello. Hey. Hello. Welcome,
welcome. It's actually, I think, it's been a
little while since all four of us have been on.
Yeah, it's been a little while. So, but luckily,
you know, strap in and get ready to be comfortable
with the boys because we're talking, I mean,
we're straight in there. Today is Emperor's Children.
Strap in and strap on. Strap in and strap on.
This is, if anyone is... kind of new or anything
like that you know new to warhammer lore in general
this way you're gonna get a lot of you know there's
gonna be a lot of law in coming for a particular
faction that as a time recording it's having
a huge well it's a huge but it's having a release
wave there's lots of cool models and like good
stuff given that they didn't really have any
many models for The past while. I've only been
waiting for 15 years, so you know. Totally. Better
late than never. The Ember Children are a very
fascinating faction. A chaos space marine. Twisted,
evil, maniacal, disgusting, and utterly beautiful
at the same time. They will be... and we're going
to follow the whole journey here if anyone this
is not like a full -on like what we did before
the great crusade episode check out that massive
compilation that we did on that they don't want
to really sink in some painting uh time but uh
eli is going to be helming a huge amount of good
empress children law there's a lot to cover and
we will be talking about even all the way up
to like kind of the modern stuff that's been
happening you know right on the you know as slow
as warhammer law moves this is the cutting edge
of The hell is basically just saying, we're going
to edge you until the climax of their lore. How
fitting. Crazy. Can I say something unrelated
before we start? It is still lore crimes related.
I was watching a video and then our little intro
theme, like that song, they use that song in
the video. And I think my heart jumped out of
my chest. I was like, we're recording? PTSD moment.
Wow. As I was told now. Post -traumatic scream
disorder. Wow. We have to mention though, Eli
will do this in the voice of Werner Herzog. Crazy.
I don't know who that is, but I know it's crazy
already. I would like to tell you about the ways
that the emperor children are always being mean
and sexual towards their victims. Going off into
the mountains, it's about to die. Very small
impression. Is he German or Austrian or something?
Where are we in the room? Very German. European.
I would like to see the baby. Shall we? Shall
we read our pre -stream donations before we get
into it? Yes, but before we do that, I just noticed
dog on bed, so dog. Two dogs on bed. Could you
describe the dog collar as well? Yes, one of
them is a black lab mixed with something else.
We don't really know. We're assuming pit. Not
a lot of pit. More lab than pit. But, you know,
there's the snout. She's currently twitching
in her sleep, so I'm hoping it's a good dream.
and uh and then we have an american corgi which
is whatever the two kinds of corgis exist in
england have a baby which was apparently basically
what if you got an english corgi and a bald eagle
and i think you're like they come with the bald
eagle as well and he's uh he's presently instead
of chewing on my bone or on the my bone the bone
wow He was chewing on my blanket for a moment,
which, you know, I need that, so please don't.
He's such a fat, stupid moron. That's kind of
dope. So it's two British dogs all together and
he makes an American dog? Two wrongs make a right?
Yeah. Depends how much tea you chuck in the harbor.
Hoorah! Would you like to read the first donation,
Hal? It's involving you. DonkeyManUSA, five bucks.
Once again, every episode. Stream late due to
Hal going to Fabius's spider backpack. Fabius
Naruto. That lays eggs. Thank you, DonkeyMan.
It lays eggs. Yeah. It does. It does. Oh, I thought
you said Fabius lays eggs. Like, no. Incorrect.
His backpack. His backpack. No, that's... Yeah.
I thought you meant him. Yeah, like everyone's
backpack. Louise, 1945. Fabulous egg. Thank you
for the $2. Orc brain, say, send this. So I did.
Well, thank you to your Orc brain for the $2.
Thank you. Tom Warren, Orcs hunt space whales.
They call it fishy. Do they? Bloody shirt music.
Bloody shirt music. Yeah, two bucks. Two bucks.
Love you guys forever. Thank you. Love you too,
man. Love you too. We love you too. We appreciate
it. Bless you. Love you. We should mention as
well, very early on, if anyone is listening and
hasn't heard yet, there is a Discord. Links will
be down there. It's popping off. People are making
fun of our foreheads. Almost 600 members. Hairlines.
I have not been, I've been insulted every day.
You're not special on that front. There's a new
meme. Someone made of the god from Cthulhu, the
Yellow King, I think it is, and it's your face
on it. It looks really funny. Tentacles. Colin,
do you want to hit us on? Sure, yeah. I was just
looking at the clip DJ Beast has already sent,
and it's titled Colin talking about himself,
and it's me saying he's a fat, stupid moron,
so that's nice. Thank you for that. Douglas El
Bosso. Thank you for the 10 euros. I got it.
I had it. Theoretical. The emperor is chaos's
greatest champion. Practical. Created trail blood
on an excessive scale. Sowing a rotting bureaucracy
and building it with deceit. Sincerely, a word
bearer fan. But are you wrong? You're so real
for that? No, you're not. Wrong. incorrect incorrect
bad don't count yeah they're not here right now
baby 10 74 thank you for the five dollars what
does eli look like he's four foot tall also happy
birthday colin happy birthday and i am four feet
tall that's why thank you It's pretty much the
same thing. It was three months ago, but I appreciate
it. Also, Groynath became a member. Thank you
very much, Groynath. Thank you very much, brother.
Thank you, Groyn, man. And Angry Homunculus for
two pounds. Stream late due to Skaven Titan bombing.
Goodness. All right, I'm the Skaven. Emperor's
Children of Lore will begin. the beninging as
they say quite quite oh my gosh uh yeah i will
i'll start it off i'll start it off uh i was
gonna start with uh things before fulgrim they
kind of happened and at the same time so i don't
think it really matters but basically the legion's
origins uh around you know the same as everyone
else around the unification wars and they were
mainly drawn from the noble blood of europa so
it's a lot of noble children aristocratic blood
going into the legion so they're all very uptight
babies yeah but they're actually but they can
back it up thankfully but they're all very again
aristocratic noble high up there and it kind
of gives them a reputation and it makes them
very good with working with other people so they
actually Unlike the other legions who work as
a big force generally, other than the Alpha Legion,
they are mainly operating alongside the Imperial
Army in small groups, kind of leading the mortals.
And during this time, the mortals actually come
to love the Emperor's children, like salamander's
tear, good at working with other people, kind,
noble, heroic. They're generally seen as heroes.
Also kind of gives into their name, the Emperor's
children, because of this nobility aspect. And
while that's all happening, Fulgrim, baby, little
baby Fulgrim, little baby boy, beautiful angel,
perfect little boy lands on Chemos. Chemos. I
don't know what the right way to say it is. And
Chemos. Chemos, but who knows? I think Chemos
sounds cool. And on Chemos, it's the most beautiful,
angelic, perfect being they've ever seen. Prettier
than Sanguinius. I'll die on that hill. They
were born on a mining world, it's not like they've
seen much beauty. They actually said that in
his Primark book, they specifically mentioned
he's prettier than Sanguinius, despite not knowing
who that is. Which is a really messed up thing
to say about a baby. Guys, what is going on?
This was literally a divine baby who fell from
the heavens to earth that looks like an angel.
Cherubim. And Chemo is this pretty awful mining
world where everyone works the old industrial
revolution shift of 15 hours a day up in the
mines when you're five years old. And Fulgrim,
like every other Primark, grows up pretty quickly.
Spends some time in the mines. Okay. I saw the
Minecraft movie the other day. Why? Why did you
do that? Speak. Speak. Hume has been taken to
another world. Honestly. He's been taken to another
world. First we mine. Then we craft. Let's Minecraft.
Yeah! Woo! It was awesome. This has nothing to
do with Emperor's Children, but that movie is
an actual masterclass. Oh no, he left. Seriously,
the most masterful marketing ploy you could ever
imagine. We all paid good money to go to that
movie just to see the moments we already saw
in the trailer. Yeah. Anyways, everyone clapped
at all the moments as well, by the way, including
me. I said Chicken Jockey when Chicken Jockey
happened. I said Flint and Steel. Flint and Steel.
Oh my gosh. And there was a Technoblade mention,
which was actually really sweet. I only know
who that is because my wife liked Minecraft videos,
but still, it was cool. Still off track. Have
you guys seen the video where it's the guy filming
the part where Technoblade comes on? And you're
like, oh my gosh, Technoblade! And you can hear
some kid in the background say, John Pork! It's
heartbreaking. okay emotionally scarred already
anyways i'm in my 30s i barely knew what you
were saying there was a lot of anyways um so
fulgham grows up in the mines uh like minecraft
steve from the minecraft movie and unsurprisingly
he's very good at it and he actually very swiftly
finds a way to improve all the mining machinery
and just the world in general he takes over basically
the whole world without fighting Just because
he's good at talking and he's very pretty. And
he makes the machine so efficient that nobody
really has to work anymore. So everyone is able
to turn to arts and culture. So the world becomes
quite the paradise, full of art and culture.
It's just a really good time. He has a lot of
political marriages. He doesn't need to fight
any wars because he's the GOAT. But that's basically
Fulgrim's childhood to adulthood. I don't know
if I missed anything. There's only one thing.
There was a group of people like the Sylthi or
something. There's a group of tribesmen who lived
in like an abandoned mining facility and they'd
refused to like join. And Fulcrum basically said,
man, I'm making this perfect world, but these
people aren't going to join me. And so they...
killed them to even like they every single one
of them died so he's like he basically went oops
you know kind of have to eliminate the things
that don't fall into my person gotta do what
you gotta do but everyone else gilliman had the
same kind of thing on his home world and he didn't
butcher the ball i guess ah well yeah he's lame
is cool die um OK, that's basically it. There
was really no issues when the emperor showed
up. He joined the emperor. He bent the knee.
I feel like there was a big moment, but I can't
actually remember what he says. I feel like there's
a thing that he says. But I guess he remembers
the big speeches when he made his notes and he
had to cry. He knelt before his sons. That's
I remember that he knelt before his legion when
they showed up. That was very nice. Back to the
legion. No, no, no. now better that's a prime
mark back to the legion though well pilgrim was
you know making this perfect world the legion
has been reduced drastically by the flesh blight
which is mega space cancer uh fabi's bile who
we'll talk about more in more detail in a little
bit the chief apothecary is going around executing
basically the whole legion because he has to
get rid of all the blights in the legion uh and
they didn't know this at the time but trey's
in the infinite got rid of and stole most of
their Gene Seed, which really screwed them, so
they had barely any Gene Seed. Most of it was
corrupted. They seemed pretty doomed at the moment.
By the time Fulgrim got there, there was only
200 of them left. Fabius was one of them. Fabius,
of course, still had the Blight, but it didn't
matter. Lucius was one of them, I believe. I
don't remember all the other names, but yeah.
He showed up. Akaduana, I think, was one of them.
Akaduana. change your list uh yeah abdomen who
is the one who's like in charge of the legion
first name is abdomen that's crazy i i remember
reading that book and wondering why this is his
name gene seed is made in the abdomen or something
he's um uh he wasn't one of the original europa
ones he was like a dark skinned guy who had like
um uh like silver braids because of the fulgrim
gene seed which is kind of a cool like um emperor's
children okay okay i'll have you know i'll have
you all know chat only a few pages into fulgrim's
primark book it talks about how broad his shoulders
are and how deceptively jacked he is so i i'll
die on that hill anyways fulgrim shows up he
saves his legion but The flesh blight thing is
kind of making him think that maybe he's not
so perfect, and it kind of sows the seeds of
insecurity within him, because they are the perfect
Legion. They strive for perfection. At this time,
though, because Legion's so small, they're so
used to kind of just fighting in personal battles
and in tight -knit groups. Fulgrim now needs
to teach them how to fight war normally, because
their time of just serving alongside the army
is done, because they're going to rebuild the
Legion. and have a big old time just like everyone
else. Let it be known, though, that the army
actually loves these guys, and they're like the
greatest heroes of the Imperium. I guess I should
have also mentioned detachment of Emperor's children
died to the man, saving the Emperor so that he
could get off the planet. Emperor honored them
so much that he let them bear the Imperial Aquila.
They're the only ones who got to bear the Aquila
during the heresy because they're literally the
goats in the best legion. Foreshadowing is a
narrative device. That's the same energy I felt
there, Colin. It's the power of my voice having
one setting. So Fulgrim gets his legion, he has
to teach them how to fight as normal Space Marines,
so they buddy up with the Luna Wolves. fulgham
becomes very good friends with horace and he
also becomes very good friends with ferris i
don't remember if that's before or after though
i don't know do you remember when they are uh
just about to leave terror he meets ferris under
so it's before it's yeah just before unless you
are you going to go into it yeah yeah so just
before he um left or terror all right well before
they join up with horse ferris and fulgham meet
each other and they decide They can forge the
better weapon than the other guy, basically.
They both go to the mountain, they put their
heart and soul, it's like weeks or something
that they work on these things, I'm pretty sure.
Three months, I think it is. Three months. Don't
worry about all that crusading you need to do,
guys. You know that tune, it's just like, live
to win, till you die, then can fight. That's
playing when they're making their swords. It's
very, very fun. These two are also the polar
opposites of each other. Fairest Manus is the
ugliest MF ever. Fulgrim is the prettiest MF
ever. They call him the Gorgon because he's ugly.
So they're unlikely friends. And at the start,
they're not friends. But they spend months working
on these weapons. Fulgrim forges the greatest
hammer ever made, Forgebreaker. Fairest makes
the greatest sword ever made, Fireblade. they
could have tried a little harder on the name
it's a sword that is on fire hey it's warhammer
bro iron hand with iron hand well to be fair
the emperor's sword is just called like the emperor's
sword it's not got a proper name and that's also
with the sword that's on fire so like but they
turn and they see each other's weapons and they
see how incredibly perfect they are that uh they
kind of i don't know what the right word is but
They give in to each other and admit that the
other guy made the better thing. Okay, calm down.
And they trade weapons in that moment. And a
great friendship is formed between the two. They
sharpen each other's weapons. What? That sounds
a bit rude. What's going on? Real funny. Real
funny. Sorry. Can I polish your hilt, brother?
Whoa, whoa. Calm down. Calm down. So now... Fulgrim
has Fireblade made by Farris. Farris has Forcebreaker
made by Fulgrim and is a symbol of their friendship
and brotherhood. And I think you can easily say
that they are the two best friends out of all
the Primarchs. They're the two greatest brothers
of all the Primarchs. No one really has a bond
like those two do. It's interesting that Farris
was forging a sword. considering i wouldn't have
thought he'd be a sword yeah it doesn't really
make any sense yeah that always throws me off
but i guess fulgrim makes a hammer because he
was basically a blacksmith slash technician slash
engineer well i guess when you think about like
fulgrim he grew up in a mine so hammers are good
for like excavation whereas like if you think
of a sword it's like the most widespread form
of like any any weapon the sword is the most
versatile ferris is like it's all about perfection
through martial skill a sword is clearly the
best kind of weapon i will make a sword and make
it better on fire like oh very impressive like
he just flex him he flexes but it's very nice
it's very nice after this they do leave tara
and they work alongside horus and the little
wolves and kind of learn how to fight a war normally
and then they go on to fight on murder if i'm
correct i'm pretty sure i'm correct um And Eidolon
is proven to be kind of a jerk during the conflict,
and we'll talk about him later as well. Lord
Commander Eidolon. They fight, what, with the
Blood Angels and the Lunar Wolves, right? Yes.
Anyone else? The Sons of Horus, yeah. This is
from the hit book, Horus Rising. Yeah, I read
that book probably eight years ago. Yeah. But
it's a cool book. Lucius has some fun times in
this. He starts playing with Zeno's stuff with
one of the super sharp limbs of the murder things.
What are they called? Megarachnids. Yeah, there
you go. Colin got it. I think this is one of
the two books that Colin has read in the Horse
Heresy. Oh no, it's one of one. I thought you
read Angel Exterminatus. Am I trolling? No, I
read like the... you know the important bits
with the eldar oh yeah i'm sure you like those
oh my gosh okay i've read bits and pieces of
many horus heresy books so after murder which
is a success a very bloody success but a success
nonetheless we uh move on to the unfortunate
plot device that the planets of lair in where
they fight these wacky snake people who have
kind of different they have a caste system we
can't we talked about this already in the great
crusade so i don't need to go over that much
but there's snake people with different genetic
types of snake people and they're surgically
altered somewhere to fight somewhere to mine
etc uh it's the ocean planet it's really cool
uh they fight the war there it's pretty bloody
but they do win and at the end of the day oh
there's a layer yeah that There it is. Those
look totally fine, we should definitely go into
their temple and take their stuff. Look at that,
what's going on there? I see no issues here with
this. For the audio listeners, imagine essentially
a lower half snake body into a human torso with
four arms and essentially an altered face with
the longest tongue. and bro literally was like
i'm a snake i wonder if i wonder if there's a
i wonder if fulgham is supposed to look like
one of these things or not it's implied like
later yeah like copying homework it's the the
perfect form so to say yeah like fabius is dissecting
them and being like this is actually like the
perfect yeah yeah like the alien from alien it's
like yeah yeah wow we should slightly mention
the emperor's children at this this is over 200
years of war uh up to this point though and the
emperor's children are a little bit they're not
quite as noble uh as they were previously they're
a bit more like you know i mean like they're
near the they're near the finish line of the
great crusade so they're a little bit more like
bro we've got to try even harder and press people
even harder you know i mean they've gone have
you seen those ultramarines god that's not fair
they got empire They've lost their way a little
bit in terms of... Although there is something
to be said about the Empress children who weren't
present during the Lair incident got off with
not being corrupt. The influence was so strong
that there were factions of the Empress children
who were like, I just heard about this. What
do you mean? What? They did a what? Okay. uh
there was still a lot of nobility in it they
still pursued the arts a lot kind of like the
blood angels i suppose and even the white scars
um and they still worked well with their remembrancers
and imperial army but yeah they go to the lair
temple uh and the lair are a are slash worshippers
they're the whole planet is corrupted by slash
basically and they go to this temple where there's
this big uh snake orgy and there's a lot of pink
mist going around and there's remembrances there
and there's a weird dissonant sound going on
that they can't really describe fulgrim takes
the sword and it's over and we don't have to
talk about it anymore honestly uh that's that's
the end that's the end of the year here's a nice
picture of the sword look at that oh i picked
that up we should build up the scene in terms
of like in this like this is like the end of
the fight and they're going in to like mop it
up And, like, they said there's colours on the
wall they didn't even realise could be a colour.
Like, there's new colours on the wall. The music
is, like, doing something to everyone. Like,
the Emperor's children are, like, almost being
sick. And Fulgrim just walks into the middle
of the slippery orge, shall we say. And then
he just, after he picks up the blade, he says,
kill them all, basically. Kill all the lair.
And so they do kill the Xenos. Although isn't
there like a fun fact with the Empress children
wearing purple where like our brains, there isn't
really, I've heard there isn't really a color
purple. It's actually just a lack of green and
our brain can't comprehend a lack of not blue
plus what yellow. So it creates purple as like
an illusion. It's basically like our brain is
trying to make sense of a lack of green. And
that's what purple is. It's a weird color. I
have not heard that. Can I say? I have. With
a. Colin, previously using this history degree,
I think you have. All right, let's see what we
got. Previously, was there an assumption like
in ancient Greece, they didn't have the word,
I think, was it for blue or something? They didn't
have the word for certain colors. Therefore,
when they used to draw maps and things or describe
scenes, they used other. They said things like
the sky was red or something or oranges only.
I have to confess, I do not know that. I think
it's like, you know, when I see, did I total
war Troy? They'd like a nod to that. I think
like certain things are oranges and reds. And
also like, weirdly enough, like there's some
places in Africa where like tribes don't have
the worth for certain colors. They can't, you
can't like perceive colors by a certain one,
but they have more words to describe colors in
between other ones. So they can see more blues
and greens than we can. Really weird. Very, very
cool. Now this is admittedly, according to the,
the first page of Google, but according to that,
the ancient Greek word for purple was porphyra.
Porphyra. I think they called it Phoenician.
Which is Fulgrim's nickname. Fulgrim is known
as the Phoenician now. So my analogy was mainly
because the Legion kind of came up like a phoenix.
I don't know if they were actually referencing
the Phoenicians or not. Fulgrim got the nickname
Phoenician, I think it's because he was seen
as some great thing that came from beyond or
something, and then he would travel. When you
look at Chemos, he revivified their culture from
like, our machines are barely working, and he
revived our culture, and he gave new life to
our entire civilization. That's Phoenix -esque.
I suppose. And similar to Phoenicians in real
history. Oh, Colin probably knows more about
that. So who they are, just very briefly. I mean,
they were... Dog! Shut up. Not you. Dog. They're
going to Cirque. They were a trading empire that
a colony of them became Carthage. who would beat
the shit out of Rome, and Rome would beat the
shit out of them, and it was... That's how we
got Total War. It was fun times. So, yeah, that's
pretty... Yeah, that's Total War. I'm gonna go...
I'll be right back. The dog is absolutely freaking
out. That's right. Alright. So, he picks up the
Lair Blade, and like I said, it's basically over
from there. You can say goodbye to your nice,
noble Emperor's children, the greatest Legion
ever made. From this point on... From this point
on, every Space Marine and every Remembrancer
who went to the Lair Temple are corrupted by
Slaanesh and there's literally nothing they can
do about it. They have no choice in the matter
at all. They just fall to chaos over a slow period
of time and they kind of very slowly get more
debauched. It happens much faster with the Remembrancers,
unsurprisingly. People start to get very strange
and debauched. decadent smearing poop on the
walls and like yeah things get really really
freaky and they kind of just fall into degeneracy
very slowly the zenith of this corruption is
becca kinska's meraviglia where she tries to
replicate the sound that she heard in the lair
temple that she recorded and it was kind of like
making her go crazy she plays this wacky symphony
and these noise marines show up oh i forgot to
mention um we mentioned fabius earlier that he
was dissecting the lair and saying that these
are maybe the perfect species ever made. He slowly
convinced Fulgrim that if they're seeking perfection,
then these are the perfect things. And now maybe
we should be altering ourselves. At first, Fulgrim
was not a big fan, but the sword, he picked up
the sword and he slowly, he slowly kind of gave
into Fabius's ideas. It was slightly before the
sword. It was. yeah the the sword happens immediately
after because um fabius is doing the dissections
and then he literally says to fulgrim like we
think we see earlier fulgrim says what's like
his biggest fear and he says his fear is to fail
and then fabius says to him what if we fail because
we fail to make ourselves more perfect yeah but
the first time fabius says it to fulgrim fulgrim
gets very angry at him um but then he eventually
gives in uh and fabius goes to work wildly just
being corrupted at the same time uh surgically
altering a lot of space marines and that's also
where the first noise marines come from he surgically
altered them to the point of being cacophonized
and they show up and back he even does surgery
on eidolon's vocal cords yeah so that during
um stuff yeah just before the is on uh free atrocity
saw tarvitz is there with eidolon and he just
like screams at a warp singer and he's like sindel
from mortal kombat this thing just melts when
he's like yeah i forgot about that yeah like
that's his thing like there's like a there's
a hint he does it as well slightly earlier but
that's a i'll save when he like gets to it fabius
does a lot of things under the table that he's
probably not supposed to be doing um there's
also one detail i literally because i read that
reread the book recently i didn't realize the
recordings of the layer like slanesh music they
were playing that throughout the emperor's children's
ships and fulgham had it amazing one loop in
his quarters yeah for ages so i didn't realize
like that was like oh okay yeah yeah um so and
does the the mayor of igliad happens after they
meet with uh eldred doesn't it i'm getting ahead
of myself yes um so before the zenith of their
corruption fulgrim comes across a few maiden
worlds he checks them out sees that they're very
pretty and beautiful and wonderful and decides
not to invade them at the same time eldrad is
kind of shadowing the fleet watching them and
he sees that they don't attack so we assumes
that they can maybe trust them and so he parlays
with fulgrim and it actually goes very well i've
never seen that picture before i could use that
a long time ago it's fabulous yeah fabulous yeah
i so he eldred parlays with the emperor's children
uh and it's i don't remember everyone who he
brings down but it's lucius and eidolon are both
there and oh my gosh i don't remember any of
their names there's like three other major guys
demeter Marius. Marius, yeah. But yeah, they
share a meal together, Eldrad and Fulgrim, and
for a while, they get along pretty nicely. They
talk about philosophy and their empires and stuff
in general. And then Eldrad breaks the news to
Fulgrim that Horus has been fatally wounded.
And Fulgrim is in distress. He's in anguish,
wondering if Horus will live. And Eldreda says
he will, but it'd be better if he didn't. And
then Fulgrim gets really mad. And then Eldreda
explains exactly what's going to happen during
the Horus heresy, kind of, cryptically, because
he's Eldreda and he can never just say what's
going on. But he does still explain... You're
just too stupid to get it. You're just too stupid
to know. He still explains the Horus heresy.
Okay. And... actually fulgrim to his credit lets
eldrad actually finish what he's saying and they
actually he's able to convey all the information
to fulgrim and fulgrim doesn't completely freak
out immediately but then the sword in his head
which he has never realized that the sword is
talking to him this whole time for some reason
it just seems to work so the lair blaze literally
like you're a high value man bruh you're a high
value man he has freaking andrew tate whispering
in his ear basically mind controlling him at
the end of the day the layer blade is a mind
control device it's his own voice as well to
mention yeah he thinks it's his own subconscious
because it sounds like his own voice his own
head basically you know yeah again he has no
choice legion has no choice because the the horse
heresy was supposed to be like five books or
something so they kind of just needed to get
them corrupted and be done with it now yeah the
emperor's children would have likely never sided
with horus um they were very loyal And Fulgrim
loved the Emperor and was very, very loyal. But
the sword says, this Xenos is lying. You should
kill him. And he says, okay. And then they fight.
Fulgrim blows up an Avatar of Cain with his bare
hands because he's goaded like that. Without
demon power, he fights a full -strength Avatar
of Cain with his bare hands. He's literally goaded.
It's better than freaking... Ultramarines do
that all the time. Better than Ultramarine killing
you. It's still better than that. No, that's
an Ultramarine. Oh my gosh. It says his hands
are burning. He chokes that. He doesn't suffocate
it though. He crushes his neck and explodes it.
It's pretty awesome though. They beat the Eldar.
Lucius gets a Howling Banshee blade and now he's
fighting with two blades because he's quirky
like that. before we get any further though just
the actual horrors heresy uh andy do we have
some donuts that were yeah we got some donuts
to say the least uh pancreas is silliest clown
for five theoretical A polite donation will get
plenty of attention. Practical. Hairline .txt
chicken jackie i've never heard it oh my gosh
uh morgues sap morgues minecraft movie sequel
better be just better just be garbage man and
steve continuing to deny for a full release oh
eli i've got i've got horrid sequel news for
you Paramount Greenlit Angry Birds 3, which means
they made the conscious choice to go, we don't
want a Transformers 1 sequel. Oh my god. Well,
if you see what the Minecraft movie does, you
think we can do the same thing and probably make
a bunch of stupid moments and then... You know
what made me go, what? Liam Neeson is starring
in a naked gun remake? I don't know what that
is. Is that a guy with a gun who's naked or what?
no you know like leslie nielsen no like he's
got like white hair and he was a comedian he
was really funny and he was in like all sorts
of films including the naked gun and they're
like we're just going to remake this 30 40 years
later like oh okay i'm trying to feed you anyway
it wouldn't bite yeah that's his ass you know
don't call me shirley yeah thank you thank you
for the two dollars fulgham hey fierce you ever
heard of wincest come on get that out of here
Get it out of here, they were friends. Parker
Summerlin, 499. The Emperor's children turn to
chaos because of one man, and his name is P.
Diddy! Hashtag baby whale. Yeah, like a baby
whale. Pretty sword, for real. Think of the five.
Death's best friend with the five. Emperor's
children kiss the homies goodnight, why don't
you? That's pretty real. The Emperor's children
do it with tongues, so. I feel like the Blood
Angels would kiss each other goodnight. They
give a little smooch. A little smooch. Optimus
Jedi. That's a crazy name. Thank you for the
$5. Rob G in Trump voice. Fulgrim. He's crazy.
He named his first captain Vagina. Then he fell
to chaos like a total cuck. People tell me. Thank
you for the $5. He named his first captain Vagina.
Then he fell to chaos like a total cuck. People
tell me. Oh, my God. Gina! Knick -knack. 3587
for five bucks. Gonna need a knife to cut through
the glazing this episode. Glad I was able to
catch you boys live. It's been a minute. It has
been a minute. Thank you, brother. Thank you.
Bunny cop, five bucks. Colin got a read Flight
of the Eisenstein. Learn about our boy Garrow.
Also, bye -bye puppies. Oh, God. You miss puppies.
Garrow's neat. truly glass laughter with the
10 fulgurum i'm jorking at fabius i'm cranking
it i'm goofing it i'm goofing it's bouncing on
that i'd be clapping it from tip to base slapping
it fabius dad i hate you leave me alone i feel
like you're gonna do that in a wrecking ball
I'm jogging it, Fabius. I'm cranking it. I'm
goofing it. I've seen Omni -Man. I'm Viltrum
-ing it, Mark. I'm Viltrum -ing it. I hate my
life. I am in unbearable pain. And you should
read this one. You got a good voice. Oh, wow.
Thank you, man. Thank you very much, Optimus
Jedi, for the $20. Trumpy G. He cut my throat.
It's true. My beautiful throat. People often
say I have a beautiful throat, but I got an Eldar
waifu, which made Fulgrim so jealous. I got daddy's
sword. Gilman does the drum sword dance. Very
good. Love it. Thank you very much. Crayon. For
five bucks. For F's sake. Batteries for the buzzing
throne. Crazy. oh god rabbits for the rabbit
throne jesus christ last one vincent or elena
thank you for the 4 .99 five dollar which chaos
character would you choose to be your secretary
of commerce or federal reserve chairman wow uh
i don't know that's a hard question jesus um
can you are there any trustworthy ones at this
point this is the problem where they have like
no We're talking about profits, surely. Cypher.
That's a cop -out, that's a cop -out answer.
Although, he's not chaos. He's not chaos, he's
loyal. Can't sue him if you can't find him. I'd
say, like, Harrowmaster Kassar, because he's
done a quite good job of being like, oh, we're
just going to stick it out. Man survived a duel
with Khan the Betrayer, I feel like he's, and
he's Alpha Legion, so he knows how to do, like,
finances. I'd pick him. I would trust Fabi Spile.
Maybe. Why? He's still a real one. If he believes
in it, then he'll do the job. I'm going to do
weird surgeries. Can I have two penises? Why
not? It's an experiment. Fabius, no. Stop it.
Stop it right. Look at this. This guy is not
trustworthy. Yeah, that would be pretty good.
I feel like it at Primark is also. too much to
say, but poor travel would be good. Your average
iron warrior would probably do a decent job.
I'm going Egram Van Horseman from Fantasy, which
is kind of cheating, but he was a light wizard.
They're probably good at that shit. He has a
dragon. He does. It has two heads. Two tails,
Brutus. Holy moly. All right. Where were we?
They beat Jish, beat the Eldar. That's right.
We're 42 minutes in, and we're not even at the
Horus Heresy. I should probably pick up the pace.
They beat the Eldar. It was a good fight. The
Eldar actually put up a good fight for once in
the Horus Heresy, to their credit. Oh, Fulgrim
also beats a Wraith Lord to death with his bare
hands as well. That's cool. He like thrusts his
hand into its face and takes a soul stone or
whatever. Don't say thrust. Please don't say
thrust. He's thrusting it. He's yorking it. Oh.
Creaming. As Hal would say. They go back to the
ship. I guess also sometime in this time, they
do the fight that Hal was talking about that
I still forgot about. And they fight the Diasprex
before the mayor of Liglia II, don't they? They're
not completely insane. Diasporas is just before
the Eldrad meeting. It's not that much to it.
It's kind of a like Fulgrim has just been I hate
to say it, soaking in the corruption of the blade
talking to him and the music. I know he was a
Mormon. He meets up with Ferris and then Ferris
kind of senses like something is... off with
him and then they have a joint campaign where
they hunt this proto -ships from Terra slash
early Terran colonizing ships. But now there's
aliens and humans in it. Imperium doesn't like
it. They attack him because they won't forcibly
join them. And then Fulgrim doesn't take it well
that first of all his captain reached the headquarters
of the ship first and also Ferris. swooped in
and saved his life. So Fulgrim is not himself
at this point. Yeah, it's unfortunate. But what
are you going to do? Fulgrim's also around this
time has a poop painting that one of the Remembrancers
painted out of feces and the dissolving fluids
of another Remembrancer. and he really he likes
the painting but it's like making him go crazy
and he doesn't really understand why and he's
like distressed and really depressed and like
actually going crazy and he has no idea why the
sword keeps showing up in his hands somehow there
is that is in there too oh the painting starts
talking to him as well like Fulgrim I think he
actually realizes like he thought he was going
mad and now he's realizing something's talking
to him yeah so he's like well it doesn't really
matter it doesn't really matter uh at the around
this time as well horace meets up with fulgrim
and i've i've said on the channel a million times
before but they're in they're hanging in the
void the emperor's children fleet and the and
horace's sleep and they're in the perfect spot
to just blow up Horus's entire fleet right then
and there. And Fulgrim is literally, he gets
battle stations ready. He's about to press the
big red button, and then Eidolon brings him his
sword because the plot can't have that happen
because the Horus Harrison needs to happen. And
he grabs his sword, and then all of a sudden
he doesn't want to do it anymore, and he has
no idea what he was doing. stupid why why even
why whatever sword sword is a plot device at
the end of the day he's got accepted i guess
so it's literally like that there baby have a
piece of cheese yeah oh thanks yeah then he he
meets up with horse uh and horse and arabus are
being chilling giving fulgham an ice cream cone
and telling him about the emperor being chilling
made me think of ice cream uh horace tells fulgham
about the emperor and why he's gonna like go
to godhood and he abandoned them and blah blah
blah uh i don't know if there's anything out
other than that that's really important to mention
i think horace just basically gets across the
point like you know you thought the emperor was
like the height of perfection nah he's actually
holding you back there's a perfection called
there's beyond that called this thing chaos that
can help you find it and the emperor didn't tell
you the emperor didn't tell you about it because
he wants because you're gonna be dead in the
future you're not in the future i saw you you
die while all the other primates or is literally
being going like hey fulgrim phoenix coin it's
going to go to the moon trust me bro no rug pull
just go for it it's fine keep going keep going
it's fine infinite profit five extra inches let's
go But Fulgrim and Horace, Horace is like Fulgrim's
second best friend. So he kind of believes him.
He's still skeptical though for a long time and
then he finally just completely gives in. I think
it's days. It takes three full days of talking
and then Fulgrim's like crying at the end of
it. Yeah, Fulgrim did not fall easily and he
didn't even have a choice to fall in the first
place. It's really freaking lame. But whatever.
So he goes back to the ship and he tells, he
told Horace, um, Ferris will join us. I'm his
best friend. I'll convince Ferris that, uh, this
is the right thing to do. So he meets up with
Ferris. Um, the Mary Viglia still hasn't happened
at this point, right? It's right after this.
Yes. He meets up with Ferris, um, and the Emperor's
children are kind of parlaying, but he's... Told
his sons to kill all the iron hands around if
this goes sideways. Which, unsurprisingly, it
does. He talks to Ferris. Ferris isn't buying
it. It's an extremely emotional fight. I can't
read it without getting very emotional. Fulgrim
and Ferris fight. Fulgrim beats Ferris. Fulgrim
beats off Ferris? Okay. uh the forum lived with
like it's when the emperor left us it was the
most it was the second most heartbreaking thing
i've ever experienced in phrases what does that
mean and he said the first most heartbreaking
is that the emperor is actually a really bad
guy and he's gonna turn into a god and ferris
is like what the heck are you talking about this
doesn't make any sense then they fight uh ferris
explodes fireblade which is symbolic uh at the
time fulham's like always dead to me but then
a moment later He raises Forgebreaker and he's
about to kill Ferris and the Layer Blade is screaming
in his mind to kill him. Then he remembers he
has a flashback. This is the one thing he didn't
take the Layer Blade with him because he thought
Ferris would see it and think it was weird he
had a Xenos Blade. The corruption is already
in his head so he hears this distant voice screaming
at him to kill Ferris Manus. They give him an
STD. He's already infected. The memories of their
brotherhood And friendship, though, was so powerful
that it overcame the evil of the demon in that
moment, and he just knocked Ferris out. It's
really sad. Fulgrim says, like, you were my brother,
Ferris. I would have walked to death with you.
Why could you not have done the same for me?
Ferris says, I am not your brother. Fulgrim says,
you will always be my brother, and then knocks
him out. It's very, very sad. Then they leave.
They kill some Ironhands. the meraviglia happens
which is the big symphony and that's the zenith
of the corruption there's no going back from
that point there's no going back from the stupid
layer temple in the first place but now it's
really bad uh the symphony happens there's noise
marines playing instruments there demons are
summoned all the remembrances basically are killed
and now we're now we're on silencio's side hooray
the legion was split as well so the ones that
whoa were deemed loyal to the emperor were shooed
away to istvan uh three yeah that is true and
then his fan three happens goodbye andy have
fun um his fan three happens and it's the same
story as everyone else's there's a part where
uh there's a group of ember's children fighting
they're desperate and then lucis shows up and
this guy with like a million scars on his face
who looks insane they say oh thank goodness lucius
is here and then lucius 1v20s and kills all of
them uh because he's literally the goat and then
that's his fan base i don't know if there's really
anything special to say about his fan other than
everyone dies um except for the soul targets
live i feel like you know this is that's the
moment of it which one is the one who lives and
takes the thunder hawk to go talk to the uh Sons
of Horus. There is one who does that, isn't there?
There totally is. I don't remember who it is,
though. I don't know. The parts I remember is,
like, at this point, all, like, the previous
Legion heroes who are, like, kind of seen as,
like, oh, they're, you know, the one, you know,
the actual outstanding Emperor's children who
are loyal and good. Yeah, Tarvit, Solomon, other
characters, they... they they get massacred by
their own friends here and it's you know whatever
nobility was of the emperor's children that you
know that one that started off in the early great
crusade has basically been murdered over you
know over months it's slowly there's a there's
a riff growing over months and now it's like
finally cut uh djb sent me the picture of chinese
patrick with ice cream thank you for that um
yeah people are Talking about Rylenor in chat,
yeah, Rylenor the Ancient is entombed on Istvan.
A hero of the Legion. He went off to do some
secret mission because he was also betrayed,
but we haven't seen him. He's somehow missing
at the moment. Yeah, he comes up later, in a
little moment. Okay, so Istvan happens. That
was Istvan 3, and then we moved to Istvan 5.
Correct? It's not four, it's five. Is there anything
important in between those two conflicts? I think
the Emperor's children, lore -wise, start kissing
one another. Not even a joke. I vividly remember
there was a bit where, I don't know if it's this
bit specifically, but it's implied. that fulgrim
might have had like a sexual experience with
lucius and some others and he mentions it in
a passage somewhere and i'm like ew ew you're
not talking about swordsmanship that was a double
entendre what are you doing ew leave him alone
it's just a game of thrones We don't know where
it is. It's laid on pretty thick. They had the
Merovingio performance thing slash demons appeared
and all that good stuff. So they're openly worshipped.
Not yet. That's after. I'm pretty sure that's
after. Imagine the most degenerate society you
could think of and that's the Emperor's Children
right now. Their flagship is just crazy. It's
like a extreme parody of Fulgrim's perfect society
of culture and arts and stuff it sucks everything
sucks there's absolutely no going back for them
not even remotely i don't know if i've ever read
about a single emperor's children like regretting
anything or figuring out going back to the light
uh but that rarely happens anyways to to be fair
there's a lot of buyer's remorse in one of the
fabulous file books where he's got clone grim
And they're all like, ah, we used to be like
an actual Legion. That is true. That is true.
Clone Grimm could have saved it, but Fabius is
a jerk. So what are you going to do? But that's
10 ,000 years in the future from now. Istvan
V. We all know the story of Istvan V. The Raven
Guard, Salamanders, and Iron Hands are the loyalists
on the planet. They are accompanied by the Night
Lords, the Word Bears, the Iron Warriors, and
the Alpha Legion. And they are being sent to
go fight the Emperor's children. uh sons of horus
and world leaders is that right and death god
and death oh well basically you got the originals
from history so you got like sons of horus death
guard world eaters and um and then there's a
bunch of reinforcements of alpha legion knight
lords iron warriors and then see the order 66
moment where the reinforcements kill everyone
there the actual the real like known traders
are in the front and they You know, do the thing.
Varys gets really angry when he sees Fulgrim.
He runs ahead of everyone, goes to fight Fulgrim,
and sad things happen. It's a very brutal fight.
Varys actually almost beats Fulgrim, because
he's very angry, and Fulgrim also kind of has
a moment of like, I don't want to do this, but
then the sword invigorates him with demon power,
and he chops off Varys' head, and at this point,
Fulgrim is overcome with grief. like takes away
all the corruption that it was putting it in
him and lets him see things clearly and he just
gives up in this moment because it's like he
cannot believe what he did it's literally rock
bottom he just killed his best friend in the
world um and at this point the demon possesses
fulgrim the demon in the lair blade possesses
him and takes over his body and horace yeah uh
horace even knows this when The demon goes and
talks to Horus, but Horus is, I don't think Horus
really cares if I remember correctly. He goes
and brings Horus Ferris' head and there's that.
There's like a weird also thing of like, at this
point, Horus is a bit concerned because after
the battle, Fulgrim racks him and is like, I
had a great time. He's like, that's not Fulgrim.
And it's like, I think it's Lorgar's like, oh
yeah, like. There's a demon in there. That's
not Fulgrim. And Fulgrim's in the body just like,
ah, let me out. But then Horus is like, you're
a tool. You're a means to an end. I'll let him
fester in that position. It's fine. They make
a deal where it's like, hey, if you just do what
I want, if you do what I want, the demon literally
is like, hey, Horus, I'll do what you want. Just
don't try to exercise me. And he's like, I'll
allow it. how it goes yeah the demon does brag
though because it says like it says to him like
you he says you know fulgrim would never would
have turned unless i was literally like pushing
him even when you were talking to me so that
i literally had to it was about the inside of
him he like he literally said like he was about
to turn on you but i you know i i had to i give
you an assist so you owe me so he was like okay
i wanted to be clear to chat into the world that
fulgrim was literally mind controlled and did
not even get did not have any choice in becoming
a traitor and it sucks but it is what it is um
you know uh so that happens and then there's
even the thing to be said about horus being mind
controlled like chaos weird yeah let's be weird
but horus had a chance to it's not with with
the emperor and stuff but ever since darvin he
was like trapped in the warp fighting for his
life and then he came back and he's like nah
i'm fine with it like what really okay yeah plot
isn't always strong in the horse heresy we'll
be honest i think it's meant to imply like horace
says like listen i'm not choosing emperor or
chaos But I will in fact use chaos. I'm going
to use chaos for my own ends and not corrupt
it. He'll dethrone the Emperor to prevent the
grimdark future, supposedly, and then he'll become
the master of mankind. And he's willing to use
chaos to do it. I'm going to escape the Matrix
and get ten Bugattis. Horrors of delusion. Yeah.
This is what it is. Then, after this happens,
we have the reflection cracked. uh story which
my 10 year old self was it's very confusing to
read as a child i was having a very hard time
comprehending that book um because it doesn't
what i remember reading it 10 years ago i was
really hard to tell if they actually saved fulgrim
or not um there's there's a back and forth where
um in the story like the emperor's children are
basically saying they're just because the horus
heresy is in full lock warp storms are like everywhere
and the emperor's children are like attacking
planets and then they attack some and they think
even the emperor's children start to think this
doesn't seem like to make any tactical sense
even in the state they are now and they think
fulgrim is like his movements are a bit weak
and he's changed somehow he seems even more vain
and horrific and there's like parts where like
he speaks to fulgrim speaks like reflections
and it's trying to imply like you can't tell
is the demon still possessing fulgrim or has
fulgrim taken back his form and then the demon
is like trying to harass him and it shows him
like images of ferris and it's a bit all over
the place in terms of like it's like a mystery
of like who's actually fulgrim And then my favorite
part of Emperor's Children lore is that like
Julius Caesar on the first captain, Fabius Bile,
Marius Fivosian, Lucius, they're like, we're
going to stage an intervention. Like, really?
Okay. Go for it then. Emperor's Children. They
somehow exercise the demon by causing pain to
form them. It's a weird one. What's the beam?
It's like, I want 50 men. The thing is, they
like kind of. They tie him down on the table,
which is not sus at all. But the thing is, the
plot twist is that Fulgrim is like, oh, actually,
I was waiting for the opportune time all along.
I was waiting so I could understand chaos intimately
by being right inside of it. And now you've kind
of forced my hand, and now I have to retake my
body because I was in control all along. And
actually, the demon wasn't shit. So actually,
you guys, I don't mind that you got me out. It
was a bit of a... drag uh but yeah thanks fabius
i love you there's a i i do find it difficult
because a lot i'm sure even with a lot of empress
children fans find this bit like quite annoying
because it doesn't come across really well like
what they imply like the demon says i know i
have every single memory of fulgrim because i
possessed you like i know you and then fulgrim
is implying back like oh but you realized i have
every memory of you now so essentially i in my
head canon i assume that means then fulgham essentially
the only way to basically retake his body which
he was trapped inside the painting that eli described
earlier in um the pride in the lafanis um theater
where all the crazy stuff happened it implies
like fulgrim basically had to become like a like
he had to do a log or like magnus or other ones
did they had to learn of like demon craft and
i i assume he's kind of trapped in like a suneshi
realm thing i don't know otherwise how the painting
work um and then he basically is corrupted over
a few months inside the painting and then he
switches places but because he's such a bastard
and like the whole point is like he is utterly
like selfish and you know he's a worse version
of himself now he decides like it's actually
fun just to mess like he actually doesn't have
an interest in winning a war anymore he just
wants to do funny stuff and have fun and experience
things so he messes with his sons being like
oh you know i wonder if they still think i'm
the demon so while they're torturing him he's
literally screaming like oh this is so painful
i love it keep going like he's it's such a contradiction
and then when he's supposedly like Was it when
Fabius is like testing his DNA and he's like
saying his DNA has changed. He's something is
happening to him. And then Luce is like, you
know, get that motherfucker, you know, something's
wrong with him. And then Fabius like looks him
in the eye. Fabius looks Fulgrim in the eye and
Pezzi goes like, oh, and then Fulgrim just stops
playing. He just stands up and gets out all of
like, gets out of the restraints and being like,
yeah. I was playing a game the whole time. I'm
just having fun. In fact, you guys should be,
you should have clocked on earlier because you
should be better and more perfect. Fulgrim literally
on the light table with the restraining stuff
is like, no, keep going. It's like, no, stop
it. It should have been a full novel. Honestly,
it's a bit too much for a short story. It should
have been a bit more. Yeah. like it was early
on writing so i don't i give them like again
if it was only 12 or something 10 books it wouldn't
it would be fine yeah but it was 50 books yeah
they did they could have done a lot of better
job if they had hindsight but that's how it is
yeah so yeah um around this time fulcrum also
decapitates fabius I don't even remember why,
he just got angry at him and popped his head
off. Eidolon. Eidolon. Fabius fixes Eidolon.
Eidolon questions his orders, and he's like,
who are you to judge? And then they drink his
blood for fun. He, like, pours it in there like
goblets. Why not? And they're like, let's drink
our brother's blood. And they're like, okay.
Like, peer pressure is a big thing in Warhammer.
You heard it here. And then, but Fabius keeps...
uh i don't learn alive because he's fabulous
and he i don't know how he just does it he's
the goat i guess and now uh fulgrim and protorabo
are hanging out before the siege of terra and
it's angel exterminatus book um they're actually
pretty good friends uh i actually like it's surprising
protrabo and fulgrim get along pretty well you
also have uh Is that his name? Charakin? Nikona
Charakin? Something like that. Nikona Charakin.
Shoots this bish in the face and it's so good.
Oh, yeah. He's a bit of a... He's... Gary Sue?
Is that what they call him? He's the Bourne Ultimatum
of Warhammer. He's a bit of a Gary Stu. He can
just do everything and is the best at everything.
I don't know. I like him in Weyland. He's cool.
To be fair, he snipes him in the head and even
though he shoots him like in the eyeball and
it goes around his brain fulgrim survives because
thick skull and primarch stuff you know ah you
yeah actually richard was actually like sad when
fulgrim goes down and he like carries him and
uh it's a big deal that's a big deal but it's
gremlin in the corner gremlin hey the cover of
angel exterminatus the book which is a little
bit strange uh looks a bit odd in there a bit
bit odd in it yeah angel exterminatus from what
i remember reading it many many years ago It's
basically Fulgrim baiting Pertrabo to this planet
while Sherekin advances the plot the entire time
because he can do literally everything. And then
there is... They go to this Eldar planet and
they kill a bunch of wraiths. In the Eye of Terror.
Yeah, it's the usual Eldar suspects of getting
obliterated. They were. Everyone who wasn't a
Primarch was having a bad day. Well, isn't the
whole thing that the site they're at is where
Slaanesh was... It's the fulcrum to where Slaanesh
was born. So, Pardaraba doesn't know this, but
the reason they're going there is because it's
like a place of power in Skyrim. go there and
you can be like oh yeah and so fulgrim brings
perch rabble to this place just to kind of get
him inside and he goes to the center where this
big thing of power is and starts gooning he starts
straight jorking it and perch rabble's like are
you kidding me and just whacks them in the face
and knocks them out but it doesn't matter the
transformation still happens it's a little fuzzy
in my head Well, it's basically that it's not
just a place of power. He also needed a Primarch
as like a conduit to fuel the apotheosis of his
forms. Like if you didn't go with Perturabo,
it would work. So he actually draws strength
from Perturabo to fuel the ritual. And you needed
like a Primarch to do that. So it's like from
the get -go, not a very brotherly thing to do.
It was also that the planet itself was, it's
a tomb. It was like a hollow planet. where there's
a fortress above which they basically enter.
Fulgrim runs ahead by himself on all fours. Like
me on Dota 2. Fulgrim ran ahead and he realized
where they are it's a graveyard but it's an Eldar
graveyard so it's not tombstone or anything.
There's like millions of Eldar the stones what
are they called again? Spirit stones? Millions
of spirit stones. And they channel into the hollow
planet, into this sort of... You know when Darth
Maul fights Qui -Gon and Obi -Wan, there's huge
pillars of light. Kind of has a huge pillar of
light in this planet. And then Fulgrim, with
the power of... He gave poetry early in the book,
something called the Mowjator Stone, which is
a stone... It was a gift with a cloak on it.
And then the stone's been draining Persharabo's
life energy. That, along with the Eldar sacrifices
and Fulgrim's body transforming, as Fabius stated
in the stuff earlier, Fulgrim was ready to do
something big. Take away, if ever Bra gives you
something as a gift, always assume it's going
to drain your life force, and so don't accept
it. Fulgrim's a real jerk at this point. uh her
travels like actually being nice to him is actually
like being buddy he's not hitting him over the
head with his hammer to be fair there's one point
he's like i'm in charge and this whole time olgram's
just been sucking the life out of him and using
him it's it's beautiful edging him this whole
time to be fair pers robo did he beat fulgrim
up in the book because the emperor's children
kept inviting iron warriors over to their ship
and like slowly corrupting them like this is
wine made from the tears of the innocent that's
a good reason to beat someone up i'm just gonna
say it literally he is like this is a clock made
by um a vulcan and then fulgham's like oh you
know that sounds interesting you're like yeah
look at it look at it and he starts beating him
on the head to be fair the whole The whole point
of their disagreement is Fulgrim is literally
like, you're basic. You're a basic bitch. You're
not in charge. You're not the Warmaster. You're
basic. And then he's like, well, I've got a hammer.
Yeah, Perch Rabbit is a classic putting the Chaos
Primarch in their place. He's literally the Targe
Reindeer, the entire Horus Heresy. I have something
in the Discord for this wonderful moment. Do
you? Can we even show this? It's a doge meme.
What do you mean can we show this? It's a picture
per travel with a doge face. Oh, it's in the
Lore Crimes Discord. Oh, I see. If you wish to
see the ongoing memes throughout the episodes.
Join the Discord. which link is in the description
of our radio i imagine and you can see the meme
that colin posted i don't know the link is somewhere
maybe maybe it's in our thing i don't i don't
know all i'm saying is that paterabo and vulcan
had a hammer moment and vulcans was better so
it's also a hammer is a better one than pattern
is with fulcrum's own hammer oh we've just had
a we've had a major appearance in the chat from
a long lost brother. So maybe we should get some
donations. Yeah, I guess we need to get to these
donations. Let me just put some art in the way
for now. I'll just put this cool one from the
new codex. Right, so let's go through the donos.
So, DonkeyManUSA, for two bucks, Colin, that
Two Tails comment was foul, you iFunnier. iFunnier?
What does he mean by this, Colin? Don't worry
about it. Crazy. We don't need to worry about
it. I won't just look at two tails. Go on. Ian
Schneider, two bucks. What is on the Emperor's
Children of Workout Spotify playlist? A lot of
EDM. So much, what's it called? Charlie XDX.
Kickstart my heart. What are they called? Motley
Crue. Lots of Motley Crue, I would say. And Cher.
For some reason. Tom Warren, thank you for the
$2. Horace, from my point of view, the Emperor
is evil. Yeah, basically. Well, there you are
lost, said Sanguinius. Gavin Bob, thank you for
the $5. World of Darkness lore? That's epic,
gamer. Damn, the Masquerade? The Blood Bowl?
Gavin Bob, not Gavin Bob. Another Colin Lynch
one. Pancreas to seize back. Silliest Clown,
thanks for the $10. Colin, the type of guy to
say you think you the drink bitch, you ain't
even the cup before auto -resolving a fight between
Karl Franz and Vlad von Karstein. You can't fight
cavalry. Crazy. That's awesome. You ain't even
the cup. That's great. Alpha Omega for five bucks.
Just like with Colin, the demon poop syphilis
has advanced too far into his gonads. I have
diabetes! Crazy. Crazy, bro. Thank you. Jesus
Christ, people. Bro, what? Bunny cup. Thank you
for the five dollars. No, it's not appropriate.
For the episode. Oh my gosh. Isfam 3 was okay.
I liked Isfam 2 more. It was before the legions
got real big. Isfam 5, though, was them totally
selling out. God, that is funny. Yeah. Hello.
Sneezy K20. This is for Colin. What am I looking
at? Hi, Cologne, a .k .a. Kuln, a .k .a. Pancrase.
You are nice. Thank you. Thank you for that.
Eguan here from Christopher Steve's. Just finished
The Shade of Cane book. and started gotrick books
from brown slayer here's money to bribe you into
another gotrick and felix episode well that bribe
will be expected yeah speaking of that we'll
get there oh here we go classic shalaxy's wettest
griffin five five do not say that is classic
sorry i missed the stream boys i'm getting a
new kitten named grim gore so i've been for his
conquest wait i missed it oh sorry by the way
how it's trying to save you for a second that's
that's a tough instrument right there yeah oh
thank you though chill actually and thank you
growing ass for the try 22. i don't know what
that is turkey i don't know uh ae did pretty
better justice than it did fulgrim yeah yeah
Volgrim was a whole gooner in Angel Exterminatus.
Whoa! Crimson Glory. It's been a long time. Crimson
Glory, indeed. Thank you very much for the $50.
We love you. We missed you. It's been a long
time, brothers. The nails are fighting with this
past topic, but I finally caught a livestream
after months. We're very glad you're here. I've
been wondering where you are, so I'm glad you're
here. Welcome back. Thank you. Alpha and Omega.
Two books. I thought Colin would stroke out reading
that. I mean, the things we've read from the
stuff on this channel, we've been through it.
Thanksgiving. We're on a list somewhere. Oh,
alright. So, Angel Exterminatus happens. And
then in that book, they fight the Raven Guard,
kind of. I barely remember that. The Shadow Legion.
Yeah, the Shadow Legion. Sherekin adds to his...
He adds to his achievements among killing Primarchs
and being invisible and kills Lucius in a duel
and doesn't feel any pride. But it doesn't matter
because Games Workshop will not give Lucius his
respawn. To be fair, this was his death before
he became... in the eternal so it's literally
like you ain't shiz and then like now he's got
cheat codes activated he's like he's chasing
that sharokin bite ever since yeah which is pathetic
hate him the rules for hate him stuff isn't it
the fact that his killer had no pride in killing
yeah but there there are no rules for lucius's
respawn mechanic they just do it they just put
him in stupid situations and then make it happen
for no reason Yeah, they didn't have to write
these books. I don't know what goes through their
heads when they write these stupid moments. Something
good happens to Fulgrim, though. Oh, yeah, sorry.
Fulgrim is now Giga Chad Handsome Snake Man and
gets his final form that looks awesome. Shout
out to the 30K Fulgrim model. The new one looks
like complete Gooner City, but he was a handsome
guy back in 30K. You sit in the Warp for 10 ,000
years and see how you look. None of the other
guys look any different! Why does Fulgrim look
different now? What do you mean they don't look
at Angron?! They're demons! Yes! Man has wings
and hooves and everything! Hooves. He's the first
demon prime. But Zarian stank. Ugh. Moth arms.
Yeah, but more - demon mortarian - 30k looks
the same as Demon Mortarion 40k and so on, but
I digress. It's fine. Should I show off the gutters,
Eli? Would that make you happy? What'd you say?
I'll show off the gutters. I'll show off the
gutters. Fulgrim's goaded. Fulgrim's so goaded.
He's now at least gone from... Yeah, there he
is. He's at least now gone from annoying, possessed,
chaos -corrupted regular Fulgrim, and now he
has super demon powers. So even though he's still
a jerk, he's... beyond powerful um according
to roguel door and he's the most powerful primark
uh literally the goat um you know not my words
yeah roger said that like on the enemy side because
jagatai was already on his side so they didn't
count oh yeah uh -huh look i'm gonna skip i'm
just gonna say it be mortarian twice you could
beat this guy i don't care how many arms you
got you're gonna get more terry mortarian and
the con drew because mortarian basically killed
him fulgrim would be the car i'm just going to
say it i'm just going to say it mortarian's not
it's not exactly known for his uh duelist skill
so he's just like he's like the chica he's like
he's just he's just you you beat him he's like
you got so much hp you ain't got no strings um
but yeah that's angel exterminatus uh does anything
important happen between that and the uh There's
the new... I was going to say, there's the bit
where Lorgar tries to convince Fulgrim to betray
Horus to join his side to be the new Warmaster.
And then at the end of when it's like they're
going to do their coup. Fulgrim goes, nah, I
was just messing. And then Horus beats the shiz
out of Lorcan and goes, you get the hell out
of here. You're not coming to the siege. You
are uninvited. You're not coming to my birthday
party. You suck. From this point on in the lore,
anytime Fulgrim is going to make a major plot
difference, he decides that he gets bored and
leaves, or he just wants to be funny and silly
and doesn't do anything. um but again which is
exactly what's going to happen when he fights
the next loyalist primark by the way he's gonna
say this is boring and then he's gonna leave
but again it makes sense that even when the emperor's
children attack holy terror they're too busy
trying to like capture people to like experiment
on rather than like they don't care like if you
were literally like on all the warp dust you
could imagine yeah and like it's just such an
easy cop -out It's just such an easy way for
the writers to get their characters out of things,
which is so classic. But it makes sense. But
the trouble is, it's literally like that would
be exactly what they do because they are the
exemplars of we get distracted. We are the ADHD
legion. We get really easily distracted and we
do what we want. Slash corruption kind of sucks.
I can play loud music when I want, mom. That's
the legion. Excess. There's only a small I'll
have to say it for the Eidolon part I'll talk
about it later but Fulgrim Horus summons him
once to like corrupt this night house on this
world when Horus turns into actual chaos Horus
not just chaos tool Horus apparently he kills
some salamanders at one point or something but
at this point Fulgrim is essentially he's just
like Andy said he's just kicking it up in the
war he's doing foul stuff with other demons and
then lorga showed up and was like you need to
go fight the war full rim and fulcrum which went
what war he's like because obviously we don't
know what time there's no time in the war you
don't even know how old fulcrum is at this point
he did he says like fulham says i can't be bothered
why go out to the mature universe when i can
have all this stuff here yeah and log i was like
No. Yeah. You know that scene in Avengers when
it's like Thor is playing Fortnite. He's kind
of spitting. He's just like, oh, what's going
on, Thanos? That's it. Fulgrim's playing Fortnite
with Shalaxy. Shout out to Shalaxy. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. And Morathi via a different server. He's
a streamer now. Fulgrim's a streamer now. In
the chat. Fulgrim is a straight gooner at this
point. Never be reliable ever again, most likely,
unfortunately. Eli, serious question. If Fulgrim
had an OnlyFans, how much do you reckon he'd
make a month? One trillion dollars, because this
is a galactic empire we're talking about. Destabilizes
every nation. The currencies in shambles. I'm
one of the richest men alive, along with Horatio
the Great. I'm sorry Eli, Horatio mocks Fulgrim.
Horatio's true perfection. Fulgrim's a pale imitation
of Horatio. And to be fair, there is also a reason
we haven't seen Fulgrim be that active because
he's been suffering from a very long inflicted
burn where the Khan told him, I hear you do strange
things to your children. He was actually being
very mean and insensitive because Fulgrim was
trying to help his legion at this time. It was
just to be a jerk. He earned it. Khan's not malicious.
It's a long time ago. And he still hasn't bombed
that wound. Oh my gosh. If there was anyone who
would beat Fulgrim, I would like it to be the
Khan, but I know it's going to be Lehman Russ,
so whatever. It's fine. We'll see. I feel like
Lehman's got to have more like, I fight Magnus
because that's my thing. Well, you'd think, but
they had Gilliman fight Magnus, and instead of
Gilliman fight Fulgrim, the guy who literally
freaking killed him. Gilliman's for everyone
other than Horace. He's for everyone. Yeah. All
right. It's your turn. We should keep things
moving, though. And actually, I think it's pretty
much going to go back to you, Hal, because we
are at the Siege of Terror now, and I have not
read the Siege of Terror books, but Hal has.
I've only read part of Saturnite where Dorne
talks about Fulgrim because I wanted to prove
a point. There is some... I'll tell you after
as well, we're going to talk about some other
Emperor's Children characters, but just like
the Legion and kind of Fulgrim stuff at this
point, the Emperor's Children scatter during
the Horror's Heresy. Once Fulgrim is attending
to Demon Hood, there's basically no central control.
Different leaders amongst the... Legion, 75 for
warbands, Eidolon holding the largest. And they
arrive at the Siege of Terror. And they kind
of, the Empress' children don't really care.
The siege is mostly in the hands of Perturabo
while Horus fights the Emperor in the Warp. And
Abaddon, who's obviously in command of the Sons
of Horus. But the Emperor's children are kind
of bored with it. They don't even engage in the
initial attacks because the other legions seem
way more interested in it. The Emperor's children
start to roam across the rest of Terra. All those
who can't make it to the safety of the Imperial
Palace, they get dragged. They take the life
of victims. I think they said they turn them
into soups, chemicals. They do all kinds of things
you can't say on YouTube. You, what is your name?
My name is... lunch. Fulgrim is on the pride
of the Emperor ship for a little while because
demons can't manifest on terror. And even then
he participates sometimes in the talks, but he's
again just indulging in things. He's doing horrible
things to people. Finally, Abaddon makes a play
with... idlon to get fulgrim and the legion to
attack the wall slash the saturnine gambit slash
you know the the best book in the siege terror
where the empress children will be a massive
distraction for an underground assault the empress
children do like this they corrupt these like
uh big engines and then they start assaulting
the wall like a whole legion fights on it they're
doing pretty good against the imperial fists
but again like some of them like they're a bit
sporadic they're not doing it like wherever they're
fighting they're actually massacring but then
they're also attacking civilians and things and
they get off track fulgham appears in the wall
he's just having fun killing and then rogal dawn
shows up rogal dawn he's not even remotely i've
read the fight wait wait wait wait wait before
dawn gets involved Sigismund plunges his sword
so deep inside Fulgrim that he has to, like,
swat him. The most annoying mosquito you've ever
seen. He's also about to just kill Sigismund.
I read it very any other day. It explicitly states
that Fulgrim is toying with someone and then
something just hits his leg. And he turns around
annoyed and he kicks Sigismund off of him. But
then the rabid dog comes back in and does another
swing. And the moment he cuts a strand of Fulgrim's
hair is when he gets annoyed. And then Dawn shows
up and says, you know, poor Sigismund. Sigismund,
something often outstrips his ability. His enthusiasm
or something. And you're like, I often give Dawn
a hard time. but i read that i was like let's
go don't let's go full room is in he appears
in in like his great crusade era form so he isn't
he's not a demon at this point because he's just
walking around and having fun dawn just says
at this point you know you're getting distracted
i already know about the other half of the gambit
you know your distraction is useless you're just
an idiot on a wall um whilst fulgrim attacks
him dawn has a shield and every time fulgrim
gets in close um essentially fulgrim is doing
damage but dawn having a literal shield and they
were just like they just keep like battering
him off to the point in which fulgrim is literally
like oh yeah he start again as i you know says
unfortunately he does he transforms into a demon
form but then he's just He realizes, like, he
looks around and Dorne has managed to, like,
push off the Emperor's children slightly off
the wall slash contain them. Not to the point
he can't kill them, but essentially the distraction
gambit isn't working. So Fulgrim just looks around.
He's like, ugh, you know what I mean? And then
again, he just turns around. He sends his Emperor's
children captains to go kill Dorne because he's
just like, I'm literally bored of it. And then
he leaves the Caesar Terror. Yeah. well imagine
for the layman imagine fulgrim is playing a game
of tetris in the background and he's also fighting
dawn like a dark souls player and dawn is like
fully put into like fatigue for um stamina and
like a shield build and he's just like clonk
clonk yeah any damage he has so much oh my god
the tetris blocks are piling i need to go play
tetris and like to be fair dawn also had like
the the like perk of he's the primark that knows
the weaknesses of everything so he would have
got him in my opinion he would have got him eventually
but it would have been a slow burn it would have
been like i'm going to kill you with fast and
cuts because that's his primark ability he can
see weakness that's why he says afterwards that
he wasn't going to win To be fair, no one can
match the Khan's confidence. Okay, we get it.
Hey, I can't win against Mortarion. That's loser
shit. I'll die if I have to win. This is still
at the point in which demons can't fully manifest
or weakened. So Fulgrim isn't. like is why he
manifests in like in a human form initially because
he's like he has to so the emperor's power slash
this close to the um imperial palace like angron
is literally like head butting this invisible
wall it's so bad and they said like if they get
too close the demon primus will be scattered
from slash banished um but fulgrim and the and
the emperor's children they're almost complete
once fulgrim leaves He goes back to the goon
palace and then the children just sort of are
completely directionless and they just go attack
the rest of Terra. Didn't Fulgrim know it was
a trap and he didn't care? He knew it was just
that. He was screwed from the start, he was just
there for fun. Literally just wanted to have
a good time. He was just doing it because he
was like, they finally asked him to do something,
and he was like, I guess I'll leave the pleasure
palace. Just like every Demon Primark, the moment
he became a Demon Primark his character was turned
into a flat nothing burger. That's called the
end of the character arc. Yeah but they still
exist, the character shouldn't exist after the
character arc, we should move on to a new character
arc. It's not how Warhammer works. He can't grow.
There's no growth. But it's a growing setting,
it's an ongoing setting with no character growth,
at least to really bad stories. Please, don't
mention the word grow. It was an ongoing setting
as of recently. How long were we at Cadia? This
is exactly why the Primarchs shouldn't have showed
back up, because they should have been done with
their character arc. Or the Fall 4 of Armageddon
that's coming up soon. Yeah, but now we just
have the same MFs doing the same things. Featuring
the same Grey Knight models you've been seeing
for the last 20 years. If you couldn't tell,
Eli does actually like Warhammer. I'm Warhammer's
biggest fan and hater. I will confess. But that's
essentially the end of their Horus Heresy journey,
other than Emperor's Children kind of - unless
you were saying something, Eli, about them next.
Uh, not really. Dorne - i kind of already said
it but doran at the end of it says like they
could have been what won the seat of terror they
could have been the traitor's greatest weapon
but they didn't know how to control them so they
were pretty useless yeah yeah pretty they're
tough to fight but then yet you have to get them
in the right place and to fight together because
now they're all you know they're all selfish
they're all so enamored by their own desires
and own thing you know one guy's over there trying
to like Flay the person to make the perfect,
you know, bed sheet or something. You can't concentrate
on attacking. And then this other guy's brought
out a Dance Dance Revolution map, and he's just
there in the middle of battle trying to get a
high score. He's like, dude, what are you doing?
The man is a person. Therefore, the chaos was
the worst, and they also became the most unreliable
force. Was it the worst, though? I would say
death guards probably the worst. I was gonna
say death guards. You smell of poopy. Yeah, but
are you that surprised that frickin' Typhus and
Mortarion became bad guys? Like, they didn't
have that much further to go, if we're being
honest. It's grosser, yeah, but that's not what
I mean. The Emperor's Children of Paul is a lot
more tragic than everyone else's, because it
would have never happened. i mean i feel like
world eaters are worse because it's like their
dad didn't have a world they tried to be good
boys the discord was in the description but it
was sad yeah it is sad but it was expected the
emperor children thing wasn't expected and it
shouldn't have happened whereas obviously the
world becoming like prideful wasn't expected
well yeah obviously but i don't think they would
have ever turned to chaos man even made his beak
gold what's going on Yeah, that is indeed the
Horus heresy. In 40k, I'm going to be honest,
I read through the new codex. This episode was
supposed to be just the new lore for the new
codex, but there's like two pages of new lore
in the new codex, so there's not a lot to say.
But after the heresy, Fulgrim was being chilling
for like 10 ,000 years and would occasionally
show up to just have fun and kill some people,
and then he would just go back to being chilling.
um fabius went and talked to him at one point
and he he wasn't really interested still and
the new codex lore says that fulgham would occasionally
show up and he would fight wars differently every
single time because of access and all that stuff
so sometimes he'll be this perfect strategic
genius and rage the perfect war and other times
he'll just throw things at the wall and just
for fun uh people think that he has fireblade
again And that he potentially has a crone sword,
but there's no mention of the crone sword in
the Codex. Isn't he one of the swords he's holding,
though, on his model? So it seems. Very Eldar
-y. But there was no mention of it in the Codex,
oddly enough. He's back now. He's challenging
his sons. The new book is apparently about him
challenging his sons to break an impenetrable
fortress world guarded by the Black Templars.
That's pretty much all the new Fulgrim lore.
But we can talk about the other characters because
we haven't done that yet. So I think what notable
characters would be Lucius and Fabius and Eidolon
and what's his name? Oh my gosh, the guy who
eats demons and has a demon GF. Zantime. He's
kind of important, I guess. I don't know. He
has his own book. I've only read his short story,
not the whole book, unfortunately. He's an interesting
character because he's literally like a loser
within the Legion. He has his own warband. He
used to be part of the Black Legion and then
he got bored and left. so he's kind of being
hunted by the black legion his warband thinks
he's a bit of a dick and it's like he is a jerk
yeah in his typical emperor's children fashion
yeah in the in the book that he was in it was
actually like i read the short story um i don't
remember what it's called something with perfection
in the name though um oh in his little short
story novella thing him and the children of torment
which are the emperor's children turned black
legion um him and the children of torment go
and assault this iron hands fortress basically
yeah and he gets the short end of the stick they
give like a complete idiot the big job and they
give him the dumb job and he's mad about it they
beat them though they go into this place and
he's been hearing the calls of this demon for
a long long long time and he's been having dreams
about her and he he eats demons he's buddies
with this word bear guy who like feeds him demons
and he just like kills them and lets them rot
to the bottom of his soul But he's been searching
out for this demon, and they find this chamber
with an Eldar spear in the middle, and they were
containing this demon. The guy who he doesn't
like, who got the big job, is with him now, and
he's talking about, like, this is great, brother.
Me and you working together. Let's do it. And
then this Redemptor Dreadnought shows up, and
he freaking hamstrings the guy and lets the Dreadnought
kill him so that he can go get the spear. It's
classic. It's classic Emperor's Children. But
then he gets back. he gets the spear he's now
his demon gf and the leader of the war band is
actually about to kill him because he poisons
him but then his this noise marine named vavis
saves him at the last moment because noise marines
are actually goaded uh and like the nicest guys
of the emperor's children weirdly enough yeah
yeah they're really chill they weren't at the
horse heresy but they've kind of i mean they
still are from any outside perspective the noise
marines are the most like insane mfs ever but
like in the legion now in the war bands nowadays
all they care about is playing the song of slanesh
and like spreading slanesh wherever they go so
they kind of just keep to themselves and help
out and to be fair his book is is basically a
story about how he stumbles upon a planet the
planetary governor is like oh you're one of the
emperor's angels right and he's like yeah And
then they take over the planet and he becomes
the ruler of the planet. And it's then just a
slow decline of how badly that goes. And his
warband turn against him and the demon in his
sword. This thing, this thing is, is like wife,
his waifu. And like, it's all about like, Hey,
but come on, come on, surrender. He's like, no.
And then like his own men turn on him and they
ruin the planet. And then they leave when it's
completely just like destroyed. It's like, That's
what happens when you let the Emperor's children
rule a planet. It's bad. I still think he's pretty
cool. He's one of the more sane Emperor's children.
He's at least kind of sane compared to the other
guys, though. And he is a good fighter, to his
credit. He beats a Redemptor Dreadnought by himself,
which is pretty cool. Before we do finish, the
last sighting we have of Fulgrim is... a certain
signal emanates from a destroyed world called
istvan oh yeah we missed we did we missed two
important things actually yeah um you can talk
about freaking dreadnought man uh as we mentioned
earlier is fond three where the loyalists uh
empress children you know the good ones they
all were basically annihilated by their own friends
they fulgrim returns because there's a signal
like a legion emergency signal calling um from
the world fulgrim shows up he sees three thousand
suns like what's what's going on what's going
on appears even deeper to find the remains of
ancient rylenor ancient of rights as he says
rylenor is a hero of the legion who you know
famously switched places with um I think he might
not have initially been sent down to his farm,
but he switched places with Saul Tarvits. He
swapped places with Saul Tarvits because there
was a thing about... Saul thought something was
up. He wasn't supposed to go there, but Saul
was like, ah, it's a bit shifty when you come
down with me. There was some shenanigans. Which
was, for an emperor's children to give up their
honour of being first in was like... Rylandor's
like one of the originals of the Legion. He's,
you know, he was obviously famously wounded,
so he's in a redemptive dreadnought. But he was
in, when Isvan III happened, he was sent down
to the lower levels for a secret task. I don't
think it was told. But the signal drew Fulgrim
in, and there was Rylandor still alive after
10... thousand years. And Fulgrim started to
have his fun. He was messing with him, toying
with him, saying, oh, you're going to be amazing
once you fall to Slytherin. Almost trying to
recreate what happened to him. But Rylenor is
a true son of the Emperor and rejected Fulgrim
and says, you know... i if you're if i'm going
down you're coming with me try to set up some
virus bomb a thousand suns kind of you know what
it is it's a good violin or when call an ambulance
but not for me that's what he did there was still
unexploded virus bombs even though fulgrim's
a demon it doesn't matter fulgrim was like saying
he's gonna do horrible things to him and his
soul but um the thousand suns like did a force
bubble to stop the virus bomb going off, but
they were so disgusted with how Fulgrim treated
his own son that the Thousand Sons just basically
went, screw you, Rylenor deserves this. And they
let themselves die so that Rylenor's soul could
ascend to the Emperor's side. And Fulgrim's form
got destroyed and he had to go re -coalesce and
respawn. The Thousand Sons should not be on the
sign of chaos. It's so ridiculous that they are.
No. Well, they're not. They're not Tzeentch worshippers,
though, really. Yeah, but they sure look the
part. Every Tzeentch worshipper exists. I'm not
all into corruption. It's all the guys around
me. I'm using it for my own gain. They also didn't
have much of a choice, but at least Magnus had
a choice. He was just stupid. Before we do the
characters, we have some more donations, I think.
We also missed Fulgrim killing Gilliman, which
is my bad. We'll get to that. Cryonisaurus Rex
for $2. The new Fulgrim model should have had
an Ahagal face. He basically does. To be fair,
you could probably 3D print that and put it on
your miniature. Don't give the suggestions. No,
no, no. Do it. Do it. It'd be funny. Alpha Omega,
thank you for the $5. Eli gets captured and Fulgrim
decides he'd make the perfect snake man demon
butt plug. That's crazy, bro. That is crazy.
Which way does he face? Is your head on the outside?
Every way you need him to. Coochie Slayer 69.
Nice. 499. Just read the third Horus Heresy book.
Lucius is not a real one. Favre, it's cooler.
Yeah, but this is a better duelist. I would be
delighted to. Yep. I saw why you want me to take
this one. Non dormant. Thank you for the tenor.
Real talk of order wants to step its game up.
It needs new models. Correct. Cathay is a good
first step. Hopefully we have another 10 ,000
steps ahead of us to take. Rip my demonet, Dommy
Mommy Army. Please, James Workshop, if you update
the old Ash models, my life is yours. Alright,
I'm gonna say one thing about old GW models.
I cried tears of joy when I realized that Swordmasters
of Hoeth, you just put them in the base. I know
it's like, yeah, customization is great, but
it's so easy, man. They're just one piece? Yeah.
Except for the unit champions. Lord of the Rings
stuff is like that too. Jack N for 10 bucks.
Might have already said this, but if I don't
get a Trazen and Clone Grimm Adventures book,
I'm going to find the Black Library, and when
I find it, I'll be in a killdozer. Also, I'm
gay. There it is. You said the thing. Recommend
USA, 2 bucks. Hal uses the sounding rod of torment.
yes he does that's official official do you know
what do not ask where he puts it uh bean when
the elder says something to slanesh phobic that
you've got to hit them with the registered six
defenders awesome awesome thing with five dollars
thank you wow holy cow 100 thank you anthony
jesus thank you very very much fulgrim makes
me so sad going from his beautiful speech during
the palatine phoenix book to literally being
the gosh darn worst pos in the galaxy arguably
yeah i agree his fault is the saddest by far
in my opinion and the fight between ferris fulgrim
is so freaking sad i actually gotta i actually
have to after all the fulgrim glazing i actually
have to contest it i really do yeah because because
i'm doing i'm working on a fulgrim video so i've
read every bit of fulgrim in the moment and i'm
realizing like he's not that guy in terms like
he's actually not super nice in terms of i think
he he only is super nice because he's really
afraid of what people would think if he they
thought he wasn't yeah he actually doesn't do
nice things generally other than for like someone
like ferris and he doesn't like he says he like
wants to like build his perfect future for humanity
and all that stuff he does not like people like
he doesn't he doesn't respect you like gilliman
could respect human beings or like you know there's
an elitism process yeah like fulgrim doesn't
actually really perceive like like mortal humans
have value in any way like he like he just he
would have no like he doesn't consider them to
be on his level only well the only ones he considers
worth talking to are people who are like artists
or someone who are literally like the best in
their field or something he generally doesn't
care for people that much at all grim is the
typical instagram influencer confirmed and here's
the thing like as far as like oh i feel sad for
this primark i don't have any sympathy for fulgrim
because angron literally had like big spikes
put in his brain matter that's Yeah, but that
doesn't make his fall isn't sad because he already
was screwed from the start. He didn't have anywhere
to fall to. How can he prevent that? Fulgrim
could have done a skill issue. Fulgrim had a
skill issue. He was like, hey, maybe don't be
cringe. Gilliman was like, hey, when Farron was
like, hey, join Chaos, I'm going to stick this
dagger in you. He's like, do you worse? Gilliman
resisted the fraud of Chaos twice. so many loyalists
resisted chaos like the loyalist was like enticed
by the lord what's his name uh kairos fake weaver
and he's like hey man you could come join us
he's like cringe as he put his blade through
its face didn't see that coming was literally
like verbatim what he said hey you can see the
future do you see this like that was the line
and then fogum's like my sword it whispers to
me it tells me stories when i'm going to sleep
it's the plot device bro there's one scene which
everyone points to like the fulgrim like like
putting the child on his shoulders telling you
know raise humanity on the big scene which is
like his like greatest one of his greatest moments
supposedly the whole thing is a show to get an
assassination to reveal assassins so he puts
a child like you know human shoulders realizing
like he's putting on a show to get shot at so
like i don't and like that fulgrim primark book
does not do him like any favor literally because
it gets into his mind it shows like he he literally
is an idiot and magnus is a primark so stiff
competition The human beings of that world almost
kill him because they literally, and even one
of the human characters who works for Malkador
says, it's terrifying. He is like a child begging
for praise. They said his arrogance will become
the real thing at one point and that will be
terrifying. And it does come full circle. Malkador
basically says they were doomed to fail because
they were so obsessed with being perfect. We
saw it coming. And we didn't do anything like
that. That's classic. It's the same way. Fulgrim's
only the greatest Primarch in a sense. You can
ignore the very glaring fact that he's an awful
person. He's not the person he's pretending to
be. Which I, because I used to really like Fulgrim,
and then the more I, it's funny, because the
more I read about him, the less I like about
him. The less I like him. Whereas with Gilliman,
another character, I like Gilliman the more I
read about him. Whereas Fulgrim, even in his
supposedly best moment, there's something really
wrong with him. He's a G, and in the first Horus
Heresy book, he is great, but the book that was
written ten years later, they clearly had different
ideas for his character. yeah so what are you
gonna do uh we should that's i think that's just
a skill issue on the author's decision making
if i'm being honest same thing with magnus the
stupid awful character i'm sorry i'm sorry mike
but i don't i don't gel with him on time because
i'm aware like i don't fall for the whole oh
he's such a nice guy you know like everyone liked
him we couldn't see it coming you know i don't
fall for that never so like it's why i like you
know i don't I think the Emperor's children,
though, are very... Getting into the character
of Emperor's children, there's actually some
very interesting characters. Luckily, they have
some really well -written characters. We'll start
with the first one, which is Fabius Bile, who
is the apothecary of the Legion, as Eli mentioned
very early on in the episode. Interesting at
the time now. When the Emperor's children were
being formed, they were taken from nobles. One
such as Eidolon or Fabius, they came from noble
families. Fabius, not giving his entire lore,
but he was very much a tinkerer. He was like
a bit of a scholar, quiet child. And then he
would go on to be an apothecary in the Emperor's
Children Legion. He's not really known for his
combat abilities or anything like that, but Fabius
is very smart. Weirdly enough, probably the only
Emperor's Children that's ugly. which is quite
funny. They give him the nickname The Spider
because he kind of is this little thing held
up in his little nest, his little laboratory
tinkering away. Fabius famously tried to save
the Legion from the viral blight, hid the fact
that he had it because he thought he was the
only chance of, you know, continuing on. So he
made someone else die in his place. Fabius is
kind of obsessed in a way like the Emperor's
Children are obsessed with things. Fabius is
obsessed with finding the genetic secrets of
the world. He reveres the emperor in some way
and turns like he's a fellow scientist. And throughout
the Great Crusade and Horus Heresy, Fabius would
push the envelope a little bit. So early on,
he would just sort of, you know, he does experiments.
His knowledge is amazing. He's probably the best
apothecary in the entire. all the legions uh
by the time of the horrors heresy he just wants
to go further his knowledge needs to be better
experiment on the layer starts experimenting
on his own legion he doesn't have a moral compass
in the sense like he his whole thing is can it
be done so therefore he does a lot of things
he famously would go on to create his own race
of people called new men or other things but
again that's probably his own episode because
there's so much fabulous bylaw but I thought
that was the same thing that birthed Caiaphas
Kane, the Death Guard member. I feel like Poop
Knife comes from... At the very least, there
was a Poop Knife mentioned in the Fabulous File.
I remember editing the Fabulous File video and
putting Poop Knife as the first... first thing
as he called open. But it might not originate.
You might be right. It might have originated
from the quiz. As you mentioned earlier, I think
Eli's mentioned stuff about Lucius. Lucius will
probably be his own episode, so I don't want
to drag too much into it, but he's an awful character.
Eidolon, who's another big character for the
Emperor's Children. Eidolon is someone who you
meet quite early on in the Horus Heresy books
as an incompetent. He, again, is like... Fabius,
he's the second son of a noble family, been with
the Legion since its beginning. Eidolon is very
much the embodiment early on of the Legion's
pride. He even looks down upon Chemosians. So
he was a Terran, he thought. He's the epitome
of punchable face. Very much so. His pride. was
beyond even possibly Fulgrim's. He was one of
the Lord Commanders, other than with Vespasian
as well. He was one of the other Lord Commanders
of the Legion. They were essentially vying for
Fulgrim's biggest cuck boy in the entire Legion.
Eidolon would famously go on to be the point
at which he's trying to make himself be known
so much that he makes a massive faux pas on the
world of murder and sends Legion in to claim
glory. messes up completely Saul Tarvis you know
a beloved character from um said the Horus Heresy
series you know he's a straight shooter and he's
nothing like Eidolon and this is where we sort
of first meet Eidolon was like he's like a stuck
up you know wealthy aristocratic guy he's like
I done no wrong whatsoever and the commander
as well yeah he's like a really high ranking
character he claims other people's achievements
as his own But he famously gets his tail between
his legs, knows to shut up when, you know, horrors
reprimand him. But Eidolon starts to change when
the Slaanesh corruption hits because Eidolon
is very much like he thinks he's the best, but
he doesn't have the stuff to back it up. But
once the Slaaneshi corruption thing starts permeating
the Legion, he starts to gain power. He is forcibly
taken by Fabius and experimented upon. He gets
a sonic organ implanted into his neck, which
means that when he unleashes a scream, which
he first unleashes on the Eldar maiden world,
he has a sonic scream kind of like a wave serpent.
Yeah, he kind of like what the noise marines
have in their guns. He has one in his own throat.
He has this massive auric hammer that he carries
around with him. And when the Horus Heresy starts,
he is right by Fulgrim's side. leads the Istvan
III massacre. Then Fulgrim at one point, who's
pretending to be the demon still here, he questions
Fulgrim. He gets his head shot off. They drink
from his blood. And then Fulgrim throws his head
and body to Fabius and says, fix it. Because
he might need Eidolon for something. Eidolon's
spirit slash body. He was killed by the Leia
Blade? I don't know. Something about Eidolon.
So Eidolon, his head was reattached and his soul
rejoined to his body. But from ever this point
onward, he would be a scarred, ugly mess of a
thing. And something within him is even more
changed and worse. He's like pretty much, he
embraces essentially corruption fully. And this,
weirdly enough, now he has like his arrogance
and his like supreme headstrongness. Now with
the corruption, he can actually back it up. So
when he goes on throughout the horror series,
he fights the White Scars. He learns how to fight
White Scars. He ends up killing their... Sorry.
Which one of the White Scars does he kill? The
famous one of Jagatai's friends. He kills Kinshaw.
He kills Kinshaw. He kills the first captain.
He sets a trap for them. He starts working with
Mortarion at some point, but he doesn't really
like Mortarion at all. Then there's a new Eidolon
book, which is basically the Emperor's Children
are recalled to go fight the war on terror. Eidolon
is haunted. There's actually a decent book, I'd
say. Eidolon is haunted by this weird mirror
creature thing throughout this book. They're
trying to get closer towards terror, but their
ship's being under attack. At this point, the
Emperor's Children are fully... you know like
they're they have extra mandibles eyes are bulging
things like flies and skin is everywhere like
they are fully in their corruption and then they
land upon this eidolon and his war band he managed
to scratch out like a third of the legion under
his banner they arrived to this world where it
was the first one of the first worlds the legion
conquered and it was where Eidolon basically
made himself as a Lord Commander. The whole world
is quite close to terror. There's statues of
him and Fulgrim in their prime, and it's basically
the world is where he became famous. They meet
with a Sons of Horus warband who they don't really
get along with, and they think they're the ones
who've been messing with them with this demon
attacking them. So they agreed, like, hey...
you know what we're quite close to terror let's
just attack this world together they do so the
place where eidolon made his name he makes his
name again um they go down to attack it then
for some reason the emperor's children they're
so looted and corrupted up by this point they
start a few of them just start attacking the
sons of horus The Sons of Horus then attack Eidolon
because they think, you know, you betrayed us.
And Eidolon is like, whoa, dude, what the hell?
At this point, he literally laughs at his own
like, you know what? It's inevitable. He's literally
not like once this war is over, we're going to
all kill each other. It's correct. And then they
managed to fight off and really massacre the
Sons of Horus warband pretty easily because of
the strength of the Emperor's children are faster
than they have better weapons than them. obviously
with them being focused on one thing for once
which is killing other legionaries they actually
can do it and Eidolon is then haunted by this
demon and he realizes it's him the demon is a
manifestation created from his own death so it's
the other part of his like soul which has been
twisted by corruption and it says like it tells
him embrace demonhood like your father did you
know, do it, you know, let's see how much more
powerful you become. But Eidolon says, I will
not be a slave. You know, he's like, I am, I
am the perfect, which is quite, you know, quite
healthy. He says, I'm the perfect. Eidolon literally,
don't you know who I am? Like, okay, mate. Good
advice for your brothers here. He says, great
line, which he says, he says, I am the best version
of myself. which we should all think when we
look in the mirror. That's the attitude you should
take in your everyday life, unless you are Eidolon.
You are not the best version of yourself. Which
is funny, because he's incredibly scarred and
ugly, but his armor is tainted and has faces
and everything. Hey, hey, beauty's in the eye
of the beholder. Leave him alone. Truly. Eidolon...
That side -parting is bad. Yeah. At the end of
the book, when the ashes of this whole planet
and the Sands of Horus, Fulgrim appears. And
Fulgrim says, you know, oh were you having fun
did you like my little game and i'm like what
and he realizes like the soul that was taken
like his part of his soul that was in the warp
fulgrim had molded it and twisted it into a demon
and then sent it back to go horn eidolon and
all the emperor's children because like some
of the ships had died to this thing and thanks
dad uh The Eidolon at the end of the bit, he
offers this soul as a sacrifice to Slaanesh,
and he'll stay a human, but just corrupted by
Slaanesh. And Eidolon just tells Fulgrim to his
face, like, you're a slave. I'm the real deal.
I'm a champion of Slaanesh, and I'm the real
thing. I can make my own destiny. I'm the one
in charge. And Fulgrim just is like, you know,
really? He's like, you're not even playing the
game, bro. You don't even know you're a piece
on the board. I'm putting pieces on the board.
I'm playing a game that's galaxy wide. You're
not playing checkers. I'm playing chess, bro.
Oh, thanks, dad. Literally, but again, because
Fulgrim can't perceive Eidolon has free will
in some capacity and then Eidolon can't see why
he'd ever become a demon because what's the point
in being like Fulgrim? He can't even, Fulgrim
can't, he's literally like Fulgrim can't even
change anymore. fulgrim is is a force he's an
immutable thing he can't even grow whereas eidolon
has plenty more to do um but then fulgrim was
like well you know what i've been enjoying this
so much in fact i might do this more i might
tease you i might manipulate i might harass you
guys more just because it makes you like you
come out stronger from this eidolon didn't you
he's like yeah you know yes daddy i guess and
i said so fulcrum's like i'm gonna do this more
often because this is all this is this is what
makes me have fun and then he says like now we
press on to terror uh because they're literally
just near terror but actually i think it's a
pretty good book the island book and it makes
this character uh cool interesting uh empress
children character it's it's weird that lucius
became the champion of slanesh instead of eidolon
i don't really i think because it's more about
embodiment lucius is um again like eidolon is
more of a is what Horace thinks he is in terms
of like, yeah, he is more advice than Nash, but
Eidolon has plans that are in the material universe.
Whereas Lucius is just, I like killing this.
I mean, I have a weird take on it. Like, are
you familiar with the different hormones that
give you like pleasure as drugs? So you're like
EDSO, endorphins, dopamine, serotonin. Insulin.
Oh, yeah, baby. Put that shit in my veins. Generally
speaking, you can divide them into ED are the
selfish drugs and so are the good ones. So like
you can't really overdose on serotonin or oxytocin,
which is like the task -completing drug and the
human contact drug. But endorphins and dopamine,
like you can gamble all you want. You can drink
all you want. eat as much food as you want and
i think like lucius he doesn't know when to stop
he doesn't have a good opinion of himself so
like eidlon's more like ah i can have a healthy
balance than i can be like no i don't want to
be a full -on demon whereas lucius is like give
it put it in my veins give me all the give me
all the stimuli and it's like quite handily compared
to um i'll read off i have a slight part from
the excerpt i'll finish it on just because it's
so um like it just makes sense what like he says
like fulgrim is saying like you know literally
like oh you know i did all this and other things
i think i And then Eidolon is like, Fulgrim's
like, oh, you know, you're just so weak. And
then Eidolon tells him, you know, I am made in
your image, shaped by your teachings and your
failings. So he just tells Fulgrim. I know you
are, what am I? I have, I was like, I have greatness
enough already. You know, he just says that I
am, you know, I'm him. I wasn't him, but I'm
him now. You're a slave. So I'd like an actual
Empress Georgian character that is. Finally,
somehow they managed to turn it around from what
is a preview of his initial meeting of Eidolon,
but I find him probably the more fascinating
Emperor's Children character now, other than
Fabius is pretty good. Fabius gets a lot of nice
attention at least. Other minor characters, unfortunately,
for the Emperor's Children have either Saul Tarvis
from Great Crusades, like a straight shooter.
He's dead. Solomon, who's one of the captains
who... was nice, is dead. Like a lot of the ones
who are level head, or Vespasian as well. Maris
Vyrosian, dead. Although I love Maris Vyrosian
becomes a noise marine. He fights an iron hand
and the first time he deafens him with his noise
marine blaster, and then it bites him in the
bum because then he becomes deaf. So while all
the others are like, ah, this really hurts. I
can't remember his name, the iron hand guy goes,
ha ha ha, I don't care. yeah thanks mate and
yeah that's kind of funny but that is the predominant
emperor's children characters now i think that's
for the lost that's kind of there's a little
bit more yeah well we didn't mention that fulgrim
bodied gilliman uh a bit a while after the hair
it was no it was like it was easy before gilliman
tried kill him and tried he said i'm going to
go in there i'm going to try my best but i'm
probably going to lose so you guys let it happen
because there'd be no 40k otherwise yeah cope
cope go harder uh program absolutely destroys
gilliman and then his sons come in and you know
shoot bolters at him and then he runs away mvp
a and ed field now a captain like oh shit and
like yeah they have like the nova marines the
aurora marines they have like a bunch of the
successes and they're like gilliman is down what
uh hold the line get gilliman the hell out of
there yeah he poisons him which is why he was
in stasis for 10 000 years um and he also used
the wound on where corferon stabbed him with
the anaphane dagger and so fulgrim saw the scar
and was like weak point and it went in easier
yeah so they say and um we really we didn't talk
about lucius wait lucius will get his own episode
we can i can briefly talk about him uh he there's
really not much to say unfortunately other than
a big episode but he was one of the best duelists
of the legion he took w after w in the horse
heresy he like literally i don't think he ever
lost in the olden days uh but then they got corrupted
by slash and he he lost a fight to logan because
logan literally cheated uh and he went crazy
after that he did he did it was a sword fight
and he punched him it's a lit it's a sword it's
an agreed -upon sword fight with set rules to
fight with also so not so not from the thousand
suns held his own against him without much trouble
because he could see into the future and see
what he was doing with his sword attack so he
literally joins the band of thousand sons and
they're like why are you here and he's like i
want to kill i want to fight that guy and he's
like not now i'm busy and that's like the whole
book he's just like can i fight he's like no
i'm busy yeah but after after that though before
he was still obsessed with being the best swordsman
and then after he loses to logan uh he was corrupted
by himself it was not fair it's clear he starts
to scar himself it was no it was no whole boss
it was no whole boss after every minute like
thing that he thinks he did wrong he starts to
scar himself um which is why he has a bajillion
scars on his face then gets into the angel exterminatus
shero can kills him uh and his curse starts where
whenever he dies if the person who kills him
takes any pride in it or not if we're being re
if we're being real the rule doesn't really exist
it's just what the lower says uh then they will
eventually turn into lucius and he'll take over
their body and soul and their face will be added
to the armor of shrieking souls and he is basically
tormented by these screaming souls all the time
unless he takes drugs and then they it goes away
for a little bit but it's described as having
dozens of souls so like 12 to 96. And those don't
actually include lost duels. Some of them are
lost duels. Some of them are random deaths because
they like to put them in silly situations. And
now he just roams around fighting duels wherever
he can find them. So he probably fights more
than any character in Warhammer and he wins like
99 % of the time. He is pretty goaded, but he's
just a jerk and he has no redeeming qualities.
He's a really good swordsman and that's kind
of his entire character. and then even if he
loses he comes back so he just doesn't really
have to care or even try that hard um yeah yeah
he has the layer blade and he has the the flesh
whip uh yeah i don't know there's not much to
say about him he is one of the best duelists
in warhammer it's just he has no character he
has no redeeming qualities and he has no reason
to try harder than he did before so he doesn't
have to learn from his mistakes which sucks but
he has a thousand bajillion years of experience
now so he's really good at what he does ten thousand
years of bajillion experience yeah uh yeah depending
on how warp shenanigans go but yeah um but still
regardless he's won like thousands of duels and
lost dozens of them so he's not a bad duelist
and to say he's like such a cope thing getting
ganked by a exorcist trainee chaplain domicile
yeah but that was on purpose that was the whole
point yeah that's the whole point of the episode
he infiltrates their base i know but it's still
like he used the time freezing thingy and struck
him and it was like i don't know it looked pretty
fair to me it looked like he was he was purposely
going into that fight to lose though that was
that is the point of the episode yeah it is oh
my gosh oh my gosh but whatever um i don't he
was leading the co -horse nasa k and i've read
his book but i don't remember the end of it because
he's no longer leading the co -horse nasa k so
i don't actually remember what happened he made
a new warband called the fault yeah they get
yeah and now he's doing that um yeah i don't
know he's They could have made him a bit of a
cooler character, if I'm being honest. He's just
a good swordsman. And everyone kind of hates
him. No one likes him because he's such a jerk.
And he just goes on a whim to wherever we'll
have a good fighter. He doesn't really care about
the people under his command. So they get screwed
over a lot following him. I don't know. He's
Lucius. I like him. He's the GOAT. Who am I?
Who? But the new lord... He's a Slaanesh character.
He does what he wants. yeah at the end of the
day that is he's a slanesh character and that's
yeah well whatever but the new lore the new stuff
in the lore the guy we just had on the screen
is a lord exalted these are actually interesting
and useful slanesh uh corrupted space marines
who could have thought such a thing would exist
they are basically like chaos lords obsessed
with warfare and being the perfect tacticians
um which in turn actually makes them good at
warfare and not stupid and pursuing their own
personal pleasures uh because they kind of they
see the war warfare as like a audience and a
stage to be set and they want to completely destroy
their opponents with the best tactics that you
could possibly think of they use their slanesh
corruption to be better at war so like they can
smell fumes on the air to determine where an
enemy armor position is they can like meticulously
keep track of how much ammunition the enemy has
left uh so that they know when they'll run out
um yeah you're really saying they're like yeah
like 17 rounds so they're pretty cool um that's
one of the new things another new thing are the
faultless blades they're the cone heads which
i love you can see one kind of in the left corner
like left middle of the uh those guys two swords
yeah that guy um these guys are jerks they're
described as being like so pompous and stuck
up that other emperor's children don't like them
and get annoyed with them because of how incredibly
prideful they are they're obsessed with swordsmanship
they put on incredible like crazy shows and crazy
feats of swordsmanship and duels they're obsessed
with dueling and like so wacky are the things
that they can pull off that they get the attention
of demons and the demons like sing to them and
uh the demons will help them kind of and grab
them power but if they don't put on a pleasing
performance to the demons and the demons will
eat them pretty much that's the fall display
they have drugs and search andy some um some
of the images of the new the new models andy
if you have those i certainly okay very good
i'll have to download them then another new unit
is the lord cough and i uh they're like noise
marines plus they have more surgical alterations
and more corruption uh they have like things
going through their bodies so the doom sirens
on their backs play all the noises that go on
in their body times a bajillion uh they can hear
like distant sounds in the warp and kind of like
use those sounds to better their cacophony noise
marines in the area uh yeah they're just kind
of like strong noise marines then there's another
one oh the tormentors and Oh, my gosh. Infractors.
Yeah, let me just check which one is which real
quick. Okay, the tormentors are... Tormentors,
surprisingly, are not the melee ones. Really?
Yeah, they are the true epitome of the Space
Marine, in their opinion. They're like the tactical
marine of the Emperor's children. These guys?
Yeah. They think that they are the best. like
epitome of the space marine of what the astartes
were supposed to be so they're obsessed with
like tactics and strategy and they think that
they're the linchpin of every strategy so half
the time they won't even listen to the guy in
command and they'll make their own like special
objectives up for themselves and go achieve them
but they're really good at what they do so people
aren't too mad they're extremely good marksmen
they uh like put on crazy shows of marksmanship
and try to pull off insane shots and they generally
do so they uh they can back up what they talk
about and then the infractors are like melee
obsessed uh space marines at the end of the day
every freaking variant is just somewhat obsessed
with something else who could have been surprised
but whatever the infractors are obsessed with
melee combat and they're like they're like rabid
world eater type guys almost and they go from
place to place killing people the best that they
can uh putting on shows of gore and blood and
just like as excessive violence as they possibly
can uh sometimes new people show up so they'll
just leave the guys alive what they were doing
and go kill the other guys sometimes because
they got distracted sometimes because they want
to like um feel the despair of their comrades
as they slaughter everyone else and they want
an audience yeah that's pretty much all the new
lore in the entire new codex is summed up in
freaking 10 minutes which is pressing but there's
like one paragraph of new fulgrim lore the other
stuff is just him fighting ultra marines yeah
there he is conehead horatio horatio he's real
i love you horatio marine oh man my god that's
ugly that's not a face uh should we read some
donations before we wrap up yes we do yeah i
had a question of the week as well yes yes Colin,
that's for you, I think. Allow me, then. Oh,
this is just nice. Thank you. Non -dormient,
thank you. Love you, Colin. I hope you enjoy
the Boomer models. I do. But I also really want
Cathay because they're cool and new. Oh, wow.
Beyond the fell handed for two bucks. I vote
Nick Fulcrum's ass next. I'd rather that happen
than freaking Gilman or something. Die, bro.
No. No. I assume that's Sherman or something.
Thank you for the five euros. I have listened
to your 100 plus episode and I still can't keep
you apart besides pancreas. What? So for me,
it's just speaking to the war crimes hive mind.
That's crazy. Thanks. do you mean andy sound
exactly the same no no what do you mean we sound
exactly our names are our names oh no some people
just don't know who is who uh that's fine um
i bring a sort of this is our death we choose
it we deny you your victory ah live to the function
that the traders don't really like epic yeah
cool Thank you for the $2. I have a hard take
in the Discord. You'll have to tag us. Let me
go take a look. I don't know where it is. Not
going to lie. Join the Discord, boys. Join the
Discord. While you're having a look. Finny for
£2. Not going to lie, Hal's trial of Magnus on
AA made me love him. Dan, that was... I was trying
to cook that guy. Where is your hot take? I must
ping me. Ping Colin, go on. There's too many
where to ping me. I am looking at it right now.
I see. Oh, sorry. Thank you again. Yeah, you
know that by 40k. You know that by 40k. The emperor's
children have gotten... What? Prehensile? Yeah,
it's like, you know, monkeys can move their tails
and shit and use it to hang off a tree. I've
got some prehensile penal influence and at least
one poor soul has been beaten to death by one.
You know it. I think we killed someone like that
in a D &D campaign I played. join rich mac thank
you for the five new zealand dollars eli your
title on stream is uh a lie fulgrim is clearly
a top so you should be his bottom guy that's
pretty you're pretty real for that wow that's
a funny message thank you uh andy from anthony
facken for andy serotonin syndrome can literally
kill you in severe cases yeah but i'm talking
about in general like it's difficult like science
science Crimson Glory again. We found the take.
Okay. During the heresy, Primarchs should not
have been mentioned or have little mentioned.
You're real for that. West Primarchs. Delete
them. Crimson Glory there for five bucks. Thank
you, brother. Please keep listing off dead Emperor's
children. It soothes the mail. Bunnycup, thank
you for the two dollars. Gilliman... Read the
third edition history. Oh, Gilman read the third
edition history, sadly. Yes. Vincent. There we
go. $199. How much insulin does it take to kill
a Primark? A lot. Yeah, probably a big number.
Do we have, like, a dump truck full of it? Well,
I don't... You'd have to drown them. Anyone could,
in theory, overdose on insulin, but your body
makes glucagon, so it's a lot harder for normal
people. I could do it quite easily. It's called
giving me a few units and then don't eat anything.
But I feel it'd be like when you see Captain
America drinking, going like, oh, my body is
so superhuman, I can't get drunk. And the Primarch's
like, glucagon? More like gluca -na -on? I am
a Warhammer namer. if there's no more room to
store it in the liver then surely it would at
that point just well yeah you can if you inject
insulin into yourself no the how the glucagon
would stores it in liver doesn't it i don't know
i don't make it glucagon is stored in the balls
it's fine don't worry about it there is a safe
way to do it but if you inject too much and then
mess up and mess up your stuff then you can go
into a coma is stored in my fat fucking nuts
for um is the music band a meme or actually in
the law like the noise marine music band it is
kind of just a meme they're not they're not like
well They play music, it's just not like... They
don't have like a boy band. Yeah, they play the
music of the apocalypse that makes you insane
if you hear it. It's the wail of orphans in Armageddon.
It would be that annoying arthouse music you
see at like a university first year. What is
this? Get out of here. Fulgrim's the kind of
guy to show up to a party with a guitar. That's
all I'm saying. Wait, some people can make it
work. It's true. Deacon83, thank you for the
$5. Props not going to be able to donate for
a bit after this. Well, thank you for this one.
Got diagnosed with type 1 on Monday. Sorry to
hear that. Sorry to hear that, man. It's your
time to shine, bro. Are you talking about the
Emperor's Children or about your diagnosis? I
assume that's less type 1 referenced more Emperor's
Children. Yeah, thank you. Type 1 is not the
end of it, brother, though. Very manageable.
In fact, my own sibling, like Colin, has type
one and they are in great shape and never, you
know, great old times. It is by no means impossible
to handle. As we call Hal, we call him Pancreas.
Yeah, Bunny Cop for $2. Eidolon needs a dog,
but what breed? Happy weekend. um shih tzu he
means he's a right he needs let's hear me out
it's a dwarf seeker you know the seekers of sunesh
yeah oh they're all the tongues like a puppy
size a puppy size no no it's a small one but
also it has really stumpy legs and it like waddles
like it just licks furniture or something it
was so cute no no it wouldn't That would be cool.
Thank you for the $10. Glory to the mortal champions
of Slaanesh. Praise she who thirsts. Thank you
for the support, guys. It's been amazing. Not
too fond of this next one, but thank you for
the $5, Imperial Loyalist. Here to say that Sanguinius
is the sexier Primarch that is all. I wish when
they found him on Keter, no, Ball, they caved
his head in with a rock. Yeah, you're so real
for that. Why? You're so real for that. Because,
oh, he's so good. He's so good. Yeah, I too have
seen a picture of Saint Michael. Good job. Yeah,
but he's cool. I'm not going to hear this from
the guy who hasn't seen the Lord of the Rings
trilogy. I'm not going to hear it. And he didn't
get wings through divine will. He got them because
he's a mutant. Oh, yeah, yeah. Radiation. That
thing that commonly gives people angel wings.
Yeah, exactly. You understand. Let's go to Chernobyl.
Where's the guy who just hates Colin for his
takes? Where are you? I think that's half the
chat, bro. Do you mean the lore crimes audience?
Yeah, someone said remove colon immediately,
thank you. Finishing up though, because we're
only against like two and a half - Yeah, I am
Catholic, I don't like Cyngwinius. We have a
question of the week. Andy, there was a previous
question of the week on the Qyfe the Cain episode.
Yeah. So the hashtag was hashtag Cain. The first
one is from Mothman66. Cain, it's the 16th Black
Crusade. Abaddon has cut his way through the
galaxy to Terra and stands before the Golden
Throne to strike down the Emperor once and for
all. The only thing in his way, the Imperium's
favorite commissar, who is trying not to piss
himself in brackets. Jergen is behind Abby. about
to shove his melter where the eight -pointed
star don't shine. What a way to end his legacy,
that would be. Crazy if Abaddon gets it by Jürgen.
I'm Jürgen -ing it. Literally parroting Horace's
words. I never wanted this. Up and bump. Second
one from Mark. Resident meme lord DJ Beast. Hashtag
Cain. I would throw Cain into Skaven blight.
He falls through the warp and ends up in the
Skaven capital. Fanquil is also there. The failing
upwards will be crazy. That would be quite funny.
Fear and Loathing in Skavenblight would be quite
funny. And the last one from nerdyvids1. Hashtag
Cain. Put Cain directly in front of the Golden
Throne so the custodians all find him and freak
out. And he has to think of a way to play it
off so he doesn't get skewered. that'd be oh
that'd be good fun it's not gonna make it uh
oh he's game he'd be fine he'd figure it out
uh thank you guys though that was a yeah a helpful
serving of um uh yeah we're gonna talk about
making any talk about the war bands but i think
we'll save that for a new another one i suppose
also before we cap off we have to think of the
next question of the week don't we we did what
we said earlier We had one for this special episode,
which we're hoping for some diabolical comments
on this. What would it take for you to turn to
Slaanesh? Hashtag Slaanesh Ussi or Slaanussi
if you wish. Slaanussi, yeah. What would it take
me to take Colin to turn to Slaanesh would be
an interesting one because I'm pretty sure it
would just be like we can, you know, the pancreas
is super loaded at this point. What I'm going
to say is One phrase, it would just be like Slaanesh
gives Colin an envelope with a letter and it's
just, you're invited to a Marathi bubble bath.
I'm eating! Where's the bath water? Where's the
bath water? You would see me like a fucking juggernaut
tearing through walls. You'd be like the roadrunner.
I'm the pancreas, know what? Thank you for the
two. Glory to she who thrusts. Oh no, I missed
that. She who thirsts. Your mind going the way
there. Your mind added extra letters. I mean,
what it takes for me to turn to some ash. Depends.
My problem would be greed. if the bro was like
20 bucks 20 bucks right what about this now what
what is playing slanesh was like i'll give you
once a year a good iron hands book sheesh that's
a lot no i don't know i need i need i need i
need magnus to die like i want that red bastard
dead like if they did she went and then and then
ahriman killed magnus permanently and then res
and then the rubric marines were saved i'd be
like my lord above i'm on my knees oh my gosh
how is classes confirmed wow we got another one
i've got i've got a i've got a really important
question i just came up with though colin You
have to pick the previous invitation to the bubble
bath or a life supply of shamrock shakes. Which
is it? Ooh, man. On demand. See, the thing about
the shamrock shake, though, it's special. It's
once a year. I get it with my dad. It's nice.
Marathi's not real. So if she was, you know.
We got something from Crimson Glory, he's been
a member for 11 months. Thank you. Thank you,
man. Almost a year and Colin is still down bad.
Bro, you're gonna come back in 50 years, you'll
see the same thing. Dude, the YouTube channel
will be dead and gone. We'll all be dead and
gone. Still down bad. The grandkids will watch
this and they'll be like, Granddad, who's Amorethi?
And then they immediately - like listen listen
shut your mouth and then they're on your phone
and you're like no don't google image search
don't go to the discord the images have been
crafted for the beautiful Members of Lord Cripes
here. Thank you for the art of pregnant Colin.
Thank you. I want more. I want more pregnant.
Do not tell the person who did that to make more
because she will. I want more fan art. I love
the fan art. Fan art is good. I don't need to
see me pregnant. Pregnant Colin fan art especially.
No, it wasn't you. It was Teclis that was pregnant.
You were just there. All right. I love the gremlin
face on Colin behind me too. It's so fucking
funny. someone did a comment though so someone
did the comment of like colin looks like the
kind of guy to whisper in someone's ear you've
got a girlfriend champ Oh, my God. We will probably
do a fan art section at the end of the video.
That'll be amazing. We've got to wrap up because
it's a long episode. Thank you guys for watching,
listening, all that good stuff. Get your bingo
card out, like and subscribe. Appreciate you
all. Hope you guys enjoyed the Emperor's Children
lore. Got all that good stuff coming up next
week. And if you want us to cover anything specifically,
let us know. Again, obviously question of the
week. give that a little hashtag slanushi or
slanushi slanushi whichever one we'll we'll catch
it uh probably a dose two stream soon as well
but was andy the same night we played eli i hadn't
saw the game you'll come crawling back no i won't
i think it's me and colin we got we got one more
donut before we wrap up oh yes from medicare
insulin crazy thank you for the two dollars it
says thank you thank you thank you screaming
feet okay okay good night guys thank you my man
my man andy was a poor nice dream andy was a
porn stream okay bye -bye everyone guys we'll
see you soon i love you bye