WEBVTT

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Hello, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

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It's us, Law Crimes. Hooray! Always on time,

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never late. Never. If you see me in real life...

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We'll go for it. You know what? You have something

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productive to say. You please don't let me start.

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Well, if you would like to know what Colin was

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going to say, you can check out our Discord,

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where we occasionally just appear like... like

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strangers in the night. And we have a good time.

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I think we got like over 250 members already

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in the first week or so. So that's really good

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fun. And we post memes. We have a lark. I've

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been playing some poker, not with gambling, just

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for fun and always winning against... the ominously

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named card shark because of course i lose the

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card shark but still it's really good fun we've

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already got memes we've already got people using

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reaction images of us and our beautiful glistening

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foreheads and uh yeah so check out discord it's

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good fun and uh i'll put it in the chat the amount

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of it the amount of jokes i have already seen

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and my face is attached to it like i couldn't

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imagine any career i would have had like it turns

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out like this is nuts You guys can all hang out

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in voice chat while we stream at the same time.

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But today's episode, though, we are... I mean,

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some of us are particularly gassed for today's

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episode because this is a fan favorite. We're

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talking about the silliest clown, the biggest

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fumbling successful mistake in the entire 40K

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universe. Can I... Go ahead, Colin. I'm interrupting

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so much. I'm so sorry. No. No, no, no. Go for

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it. Go for it. It's okay. funny man but very

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important announcement to make first you know

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this monday was saint paddy's day it's uh you

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know green month and uh there's no time like

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now because there's only three days left to get

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yourself mcdonald's shamrock shake participating

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locations now i'm sure you all might be wondering

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did lore crimes get a mcdonald's sponsor These

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three may be wondering, did Colin secretly get

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a sponsor and not tell anyone? No, I just fucking

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love Shamrock shakes. Wow. Wow. So you should

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get one right now. This, this, this McDonald's,

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you know, you want to come back later, make it

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official. If you're listening by all means, but

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this one on the house, get yourself a crazy free

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ad right there. to send us a lifetime's worth

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of just like the the fries holders like nothing

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no money just those i'm like what are we gonna

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do these i don't know give me give me a lifetime

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like put the mcdonald's nearest my house make

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them always have shamrock shake there we go i

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mean the mcdonald's law crimes crossover is the

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probably the weirdest canon event i'm not gonna

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lie i don't like mint that much I'm going to

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kill you. Yeah, I'm about to say odds. That being

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said, though, today's episode is the hero of

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the Imperium, Caiaphas Kane, legendary commissar,

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absolute... I mean, I think I have read just

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casually now, I've read all of his books because

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they're so good. I can't describe how much of

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a joy it is to talk about this character slash,

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you know... I mean, I wouldn't say that it's...

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full of depth or anything where it's like, you

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know, it's not going to be the best we've ever

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told, but I think, like Colin has said before,

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it's like, it's a damn good helping of Caiaphas

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Cain every once in a while is super, super appreciated.

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I read them all basically back to back. I would

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not advise, wow, I would not advise that. One,

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you know, you might get a little burnt out. I

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didn't, but I'm, you know. I tend to just kind

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of hyper fixate on shit that's a big thing yeah

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I am I am his strongest coward um and uh but

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just you'll notice like they do get a little

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bit repetitive like they're they're well written

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like reading it you're not like this is a badly

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written book but you know it's it does some stuff

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does get reused a bit I still like it uh I would

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recommend you know put a segment it, you know,

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read that, then go read the Night Lords trilogy

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or something, you know, grim and edgy and shit,

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and then come back for lighthearted fun times

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with the funny man. Do you like this or Godtrick

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and Felix better? I think Godtrick and Felix

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more. Yeah. I assume Godtrick and Felix are better

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villains, right? I mean... I would say yes, because

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Krell showed up in one of them. Kembler and Krell

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showed up. Come on. The Throg did too. They go

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out. They fight a bit of everyone. I'd say they're

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a bit more well -rounded as stories. Kane definitely

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leans more into the humor. He's about to spear

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your American soldier to death with his nice

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bayonet. Banzai. Oh, dear. Jesus. Well, we're

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going to get... I'm sorry, Colin. Sorry, we finished

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the... No, we're on a roll today. Godkin Felix

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are a bit more well -rounded. They're fat. They're

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sad sometimes. They're funny. Then you get an

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inner monologue, a snorey, and I just want to

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drink and cry. Kane's usually pretty reliably

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more funny. There are some touching moments later

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in the Kane books, which we might cover eventually.

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Overall, they're less funnier. They're a close

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second, though. We got the Lore Crimes bingo

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in the Discord right now. Most of these seem

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to be about me or Colin. I did notice that. I

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did notice that. I noticed one of the only bingo

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things Andy had. Praises the white scars. I noticed

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that I got knife ear cope. The worst take known

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to man. Colin or Eli get dunked on in gaming.

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We're just assuming that Andy and Hal will never

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get dunked onto our degree, I guess. That's fair.

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I mean, my back is sore. Okay, okay. Play the

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clip. Somebody play the Fortnite clip of this

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guy dropping 50 miles away. Yeah. We should get

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dead. That being said, we should get into the...

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the really the good stuff which is the kane law

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uh we're gonna start off though just a little

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bit of like you know you gotta understand where

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you are it is the 41st millennium but this isn't

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like you know this isn't like dante crying to

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die or anything this is a different vibe and

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colin's gonna take it away with uh mr commissar

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kyphus king indeed this is a different vibe you

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put it very well these are perhaps it's uh kane

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everyone around him and Trazen and Orokin are

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about the only people having fun in this universe.

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So, with that, I guess the Dark Eldar too, but

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that's net not fun for more people than are having

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fun. But, Kane. Kane is a... Kane is a... He

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was a hiver. His parents... Oh, by the way, I

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should say... Don't know which hive, by the way.

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It's been specified a couple times by the person

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annotating his books, who we'll get to, that

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she couldn't find what hive he was from, and

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she tried. She tried to find what planet he was

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from. Seems to have never mentioned it, and from

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her investigations, which as an Inquisitor, honestly

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impressive she couldn't find it, just never found

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it. But he's a hive world, which has given him

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some... Sense of how to talk to people because

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it is crowd crush central on Hive Worlds and

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has given him some navigational abilities and

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he doesn't really get lost, which is these are

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things that will come up eventually in the. In

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these as we're talking about Kane. Because his

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parents were soldiers who were. Soldiers in the

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Imperial Guard, you can probably assume that

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what happened to them, he didn't have parents

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for. terribly long. I believe he was raised by

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his grandfather for a bit. Although I'm hoping

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I'm not mixing that up with Yarek, because I

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very well might be. That is the Yarek thing.

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Cain went straight to the boarding school. He

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went straight to the Scala Progenium. Okay. I

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knew he went to the boarding school. I just,

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for a moment, I had, like, commissar, no parents.

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Shit. Alright. But he goes to the Scala Progenium,

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you know, where they train. A lot of different

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things, Commissars included. Has a distinctly

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underperforming bent in most things. Quite the

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swordsman, though. But he was... Kane was a pretty

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solid C - student. He passed. He is a Commissar,

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after all. He wasn't thrown into the trash compactor.

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And given what the Scholar Progenium entails,

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he must have... put in some work, because a C

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-minus of the Scalabrogenium is still the hardest

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fights you're going to have in your life at some

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point. Commissars have to be trained to be the

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scariest guy on the battlefield. He became a

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commissar, but unlike most commissars, Kane doesn't

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really buy into the glorious, heroic, lead from

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the front, one step back and I'm going to shoot

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you mentality. That is not Kane. Kane's ideal

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job, would honestly probably be an administratum

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clerk, because he wants to be as far as physically

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possible from anything resembling a dangerous

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situation. Which, to briefly touch upon before

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we get to the main book, was his introduction.

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He was a commissar for the Valhalla 12th. 12th

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Artillery. Yep, 12th Artillery. It was an artillery

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regiment, which artillery... You're throwing

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shells and whatnot from miles away. You are nowhere

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near a fight. It is just nothing. Don't worry

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about it. Problem is one of engagement. He was

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put on with a, it should be no, you know, I'll

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get to that. That'll fit more later. It was against

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some tyranids, you know, so scary stuff. Tyranids

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are a planet ending threat, but for the fight,

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Kane was. Just in the artillery. Again, they're

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artillery. They're far off. At one point, it

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looked like the Tyranids were going to get pretty

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close, and they started getting pretty close.

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So Cain, in his infinite bravery and heroism,

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stole a chimera and just tried to run. As the

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commissar. I do not blame him. I'm not built

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for hive tyrants, man. Cain literally went, I'm

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going out for a walk, and then never came back.

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It's literally the meme of the guy who pees and

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then just disappears in frame. The guy just completely

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vanished. Yeah. Where did the Commissar go? It

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was probably something people were asking. But

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on his way to run for his life, he ran into a

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flanking Tyranid swarm that was completely undetected,

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going to eat everyone. They were going to overrun

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the position of the 12th Artillery. So he goes,

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well... This is not a viable way to run, is it?

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So he turns around. On the way, he grabs who

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will soon become his closest companion, gunner

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Farrak Yergin, who is in a rough spot. Grabs

00:12:34.870 --> 00:12:37.269
him. They flee back. Kane reports the approaching

00:12:37.269 --> 00:12:40.330
Tyranid swarm. The artillery blows it away. And

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everyone's pretty happy with Kane, except for

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the colonel in charge of the Valhalla 12th. He

00:12:45.929 --> 00:12:51.009
is semi -spoiler alert. One of only two people

00:12:51.009 --> 00:12:54.490
to see through Kane's bullshit. And the only

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one to not think of him positively still because

00:12:57.070 --> 00:13:02.210
of it. This guy, I think it was like Monstru

00:13:02.210 --> 00:13:09.009
or something like that. Like M -O -N -S -T -R.

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Those letters are in the name. He doesn't show

00:13:12.809 --> 00:13:17.649
up too often. Colonel Moist. He doesn't like

00:13:17.649 --> 00:13:19.690
Kane very much, and he has a sneaky suspicion.

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Hey, Commissar, the front line is that way. What

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were you doing over there? Which Kane, of course,

00:13:25.850 --> 00:13:28.470
goes, I had a feeling I went to investigate,

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which, total bullshit. But you can't prove him

00:13:33.350 --> 00:13:38.129
wrong, so Kane gets away scot -free. But he gets,

00:13:38.269 --> 00:13:41.429
for his act of bravery, he's to be transferred

00:13:41.429 --> 00:13:45.090
elsewhere from the 12th Artillery Regiment. And

00:13:45.090 --> 00:13:49.399
as a fun... parting gift. Before the colonel

00:13:49.399 --> 00:13:53.379
can even say who's going with Cain, the smell

00:13:53.379 --> 00:13:56.840
hits his nostrils as Cain realizes he has been

00:13:56.840 --> 00:13:59.600
saddled with Gunnar Farah Jorgen to be his commissar

00:13:59.600 --> 00:14:05.139
aide. And he smells like shit. He stinks, man.

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We'll explain it later, though. Smelly man. There

00:14:11.860 --> 00:14:14.919
might be deeper reasons for that, but I imagine,

00:14:15.019 --> 00:14:18.799
again, it is also just man needs to shower more

00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:20.899
often. It's a little bit of column A, a little

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bit of column B. If he was around, he'd just

00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:28.799
be like, what's that? He wouldn't notice because

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it blends in. There's also one small part to

00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:37.000
add as well. There's a very brief short story

00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:40.600
which talks about Cain. somewhat encountering

00:14:40.600 --> 00:14:42.639
something in a tomb that had green light and

00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:47.080
was scary and he took a certain shot to his hand

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and he lost three of his fingers. And they had

00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:52.500
it replaced with automatic fingers. Did that

00:14:52.500 --> 00:14:54.940
happen by this point? Yeah, this happened in

00:14:54.940 --> 00:14:58.580
the 12th Field Artillery. Oh, I knew it happened.

00:14:58.759 --> 00:15:01.580
Yeah, I guess it would have happened before the

00:15:01.580 --> 00:15:06.299
before the transfer. That's right. I don't know

00:15:06.299 --> 00:15:08.220
why I always assumed that was later. The short

00:15:08.220 --> 00:15:13.279
story came later. Yeah, that's probably why I

00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:14.820
thought. Yeah, I just assumed it came later.

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As a warning, the Kane books are not quite chronological.

00:15:18.700 --> 00:15:23.799
They do hop around. One of them was after his

00:15:23.799 --> 00:15:26.299
retirement, for example. The next one was then

00:15:26.299 --> 00:15:30.019
well before that happened. So he flip -flops

00:15:30.019 --> 00:15:32.820
all over the place. But they're more adventures

00:15:32.820 --> 00:15:35.740
than they are necessarily one big narrative.

00:15:37.649 --> 00:15:40.389
But yeah, that's right. That totally makes sense.

00:15:40.409 --> 00:15:42.289
I would have come first. Which, as an aside,

00:15:42.590 --> 00:15:45.730
Kane has fought everything the galaxy has to

00:15:45.730 --> 00:15:48.990
face him. Kane is a well -traveled person. Out

00:15:48.990 --> 00:15:51.929
of every fault you can claim of him, he is not

00:15:51.929 --> 00:15:56.629
an uneducated and inexperienced person. And of

00:15:56.629 --> 00:15:59.669
note, Eli, I'm sure, will appreciate this. He's

00:15:59.669 --> 00:16:02.450
fought Chaos, Dark Eldar, Tyranids, Orcs. If

00:16:02.450 --> 00:16:05.269
the galaxy has it, he's probably fought it. Necrons

00:16:05.269 --> 00:16:07.169
scare him more than anything else. Good man.

00:16:07.350 --> 00:16:09.149
He knows what's right. He knows who owns the

00:16:09.149 --> 00:16:12.450
galaxy. And he was captured by the Dark Eldar

00:16:12.450 --> 00:16:16.309
once. Necrons is the only thing where he doesn't

00:16:16.309 --> 00:16:18.929
care to keep up his facade, and he'll straight

00:16:18.929 --> 00:16:22.529
up just say, we need to run. We need to leave.

00:16:23.330 --> 00:16:27.070
As you should. I have a las pistol, and you have

00:16:27.070 --> 00:16:31.250
a broken las gun. It's time to leave, sir. Nuh

00:16:31.250 --> 00:16:35.299
-uh. And yeah, that's kind of the brief background

00:16:35.299 --> 00:16:38.820
of Kane. Hiver, so he's learned how to talk to

00:16:38.820 --> 00:16:42.200
people. He's quite the charmer. Very much knows

00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:47.019
how to work a crowd. Good with navigating tight

00:16:47.019 --> 00:16:50.840
spaces, which will come into play in both his

00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:52.879
adventures and his love life. Yeah, I know what

00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:59.399
I said. And backed by his friend, smelly friend,

00:16:59.519 --> 00:17:03.870
Gunnar Jørgen. he is will join the 597th valhellen

00:17:03.870 --> 00:17:08.190
division division no division this is not even

00:17:08.190 --> 00:17:10.430
anything a regiment yeah i that was just completely

00:17:10.430 --> 00:17:17.369
forgetting terminology and that roughly uh will

00:17:17.369 --> 00:17:21.789
be where the story begins so i'll uh before i

00:17:21.789 --> 00:17:24.529
pass the hell a little brief quick introduction

00:17:24.529 --> 00:17:29.789
on the 597th wasn't a regiment that existed once

00:17:29.789 --> 00:17:34.619
and officially doesn't actually exist uh what

00:17:34.619 --> 00:17:38.339
had happened was fights uh you know the it was

00:17:38.339 --> 00:17:42.339
two red two regiments the valhalla 296th and

00:17:42.339 --> 00:17:47.819
the 301st heavily heavily depleted manpower like

00:17:47.819 --> 00:17:49.500
they had been through the ringer they did not

00:17:49.500 --> 00:17:52.079
have enough to form a proper regiment instead

00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:57.319
they were merged and became uh well we'll get

00:17:57.319 --> 00:17:59.039
to that because that's kind of giving some of

00:17:59.039 --> 00:18:03.299
it away Yeah, they were there, I guess, because

00:18:03.299 --> 00:18:09.140
a lot of it is in this story. It is. Some of

00:18:09.140 --> 00:18:10.400
the stuff, how you were going to imagine you

00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:11.920
were going to cover. So it was two regiments

00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:14.539
put together and they do not like each other

00:18:14.539 --> 00:18:18.160
very much. It is one was an all female regiment.

00:18:18.220 --> 00:18:21.400
One was an all male regiment. They one of the

00:18:21.400 --> 00:18:23.700
issue, like some of them were far more experienced

00:18:23.700 --> 00:18:26.740
in combat. Others had, you know, different proficiencies

00:18:26.740 --> 00:18:31.059
that. were honestly work quite well together,

00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:33.819
but the friction was they're suddenly forced

00:18:33.819 --> 00:18:37.680
to get along through some different, both doctrines

00:18:37.680 --> 00:18:41.539
of war and the commander of the female regiment

00:18:41.539 --> 00:18:44.200
was put into command of the combined regiment,

00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:48.079
just purely due to ranking seniority. She had

00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:49.700
a higher rank than the one in charge of the male

00:18:49.700 --> 00:18:52.799
regiment. So she was put in charge, caused some

00:18:52.799 --> 00:18:55.319
issues there. The various fighting over this

00:18:55.319 --> 00:18:58.880
caused more issues. And by the time Kane, is

00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:04.019
transferred to this lovely powder keg of a regiment.

00:19:04.859 --> 00:19:09.359
Regina Castine, the person, the highest ranking

00:19:09.359 --> 00:19:12.279
officer, the woman in charge, is happy to see

00:19:12.279 --> 00:19:16.039
a commissar because she is all out of ideas for

00:19:16.039 --> 00:19:22.420
how to fix this mess. We need bolt pistols at

00:19:22.420 --> 00:19:26.299
the back of the head to maintain order. You're

00:19:26.299 --> 00:19:28.180
not far off. Before we get into it though, I

00:19:28.180 --> 00:19:30.140
think we have a few donuts just before we did

00:19:30.140 --> 00:19:34.380
a proper start. So first off, we got a membership.

00:19:34.619 --> 00:19:36.339
Oh, I thought they also said Castina. I was like,

00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:39.920
that's really on point. She's here. Thank you

00:19:39.920 --> 00:19:42.660
for becoming a member. DonkeyManUSA. Bryce, that's

00:19:42.660 --> 00:19:45.019
it every time. Stream late due to Hal gooning

00:19:45.019 --> 00:19:53.069
to punished Hal. Oh, Colin, I think. Alright,

00:19:53.230 --> 00:19:56.890
well. Question for the boys besides Colin. I

00:19:56.890 --> 00:20:01.809
love this question. Alright, Colin. Eldritch

00:20:01.809 --> 00:20:05.269
the Great Eldritch the Old Great One for five

00:20:05.269 --> 00:20:08.789
bucks. Question for the boys besides Colin. Is

00:20:08.789 --> 00:20:12.289
it hard to make Warhammer videos when Colin has

00:20:12.289 --> 00:20:17.369
all the correct opinions except Bretonnia? My

00:20:17.369 --> 00:20:21.349
bad. I'm crazy. I don't know. I have an ally.

00:20:21.849 --> 00:20:24.490
I'm not sure I can defend my opinions that strongly,

00:20:24.569 --> 00:20:29.470
to be honest. All I can say is that there was

00:20:29.470 --> 00:20:32.670
a brief civil war in the Discord of people fighting

00:20:32.670 --> 00:20:36.009
over whether or not Bretonnians were bad or not.

00:20:36.349 --> 00:20:39.890
So, well done, Colin. I agree with half the things

00:20:39.890 --> 00:20:43.329
Colin says. I have good opinions when it comes

00:20:43.329 --> 00:20:45.170
to Warhammer. Eli, do you want to take this one?

00:20:45.929 --> 00:20:48.349
Yeah, Carson C., thank you very much for the

00:20:48.349 --> 00:20:54.910
$20, Carson C. We very much appreciate it. Flo,

00:20:55.009 --> 00:20:59.250
it's nice to finally catch you guys live. Glad

00:20:59.250 --> 00:21:01.089
to see my favorite series being covered by you

00:21:01.089 --> 00:21:03.390
guys. Only series where I have gone through 11

00:21:03.390 --> 00:21:06.410
books in a month. Holy cow. God, I love driving

00:21:06.410 --> 00:21:09.849
across Alberta. I drove across Alberta yesterday

00:21:09.849 --> 00:21:12.440
to get to my in -laws. So I hope you're having

00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:14.539
a nice drive looking at the prairies and the

00:21:14.539 --> 00:21:16.339
mountains. Do you want to hit the next one, Colin?

00:21:17.900 --> 00:21:19.819
Core6F6, thank you for the five. Hi, fellas.

00:21:19.960 --> 00:21:22.019
Need some advice. Recently finished Gotrek and

00:21:22.019 --> 00:21:26.720
Felix. How do I cope? Kane. Yeah, Kane. We have

00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:28.680
three answers for you. One, come over to Kane.

00:21:29.519 --> 00:21:35.740
Two, Gotrek is still around in AOS. And if neither

00:21:35.740 --> 00:21:40.259
of those suffice... Alcohol's not that expensive.

00:21:40.740 --> 00:21:44.900
Alright. We'll go to a therapist and talk about

00:21:44.900 --> 00:21:47.200
Snorri. Read a Necron book, bro. Read a Necron

00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:53.019
book. Shark Boromir. Shark Boromir, 1074 for

00:21:53.019 --> 00:21:58.740
10 cash. Colin would walk 500 miles to be spit

00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:01.839
on by Merapi. Also, happy birthday, Colin. Thank

00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:06.880
you for the belated birthday. And you could not

00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:10.480
keep me off the Black Ark, as I've said. What

00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:15.319
are you, 20, 26 now? 20 bucks, though. I got

00:22:15.319 --> 00:22:17.460
paid. Thank you, Jason. This could have been

00:22:17.460 --> 00:22:19.319
fun, boys. I'm glad you all made it. Yeah, go

00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:22.160
ahead. Check it out. It's actually popping off.

00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:24.500
We do pop in and we have a little chat with people.

00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:32.480
paralyzed tortoise for two bucks can we get up

00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:36.039
a couple mondays for colin that's crazy that

00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:41.599
is crazy wow okay and he's you've turned against

00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:48.799
me great old one yep five bucks thank you calling

00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:51.740
how many inches of your hairline would you trade

00:22:51.740 --> 00:22:54.690
for a good eldar book also Eat for you, Eldar

00:22:54.690 --> 00:22:58.069
fans. I don't got that much left to give, man.

00:22:58.130 --> 00:23:02.430
It's going. I sacrifice every inch. I'd go balls

00:23:02.430 --> 00:23:06.349
for a single good Eldar book. Wow, man. 20 euros.

00:23:07.950 --> 00:23:11.930
Crap. I like that name. That's fun. Thank you

00:23:11.930 --> 00:23:17.410
for the 20 euros, essentially. Hi, Artel W Miniatures

00:23:17.410 --> 00:23:20.890
has Kane, Juergen, Kasteen, Brocklaw, and Amberly

00:23:20.890 --> 00:23:23.319
Vale minis on sale at the moment. Thanks for

00:23:23.319 --> 00:23:25.460
finding content. Godric and Felix, Part 3, Demon

00:23:25.460 --> 00:23:27.180
Slayer 1. Thank you very much for the 20. We

00:23:27.180 --> 00:23:28.779
appreciate it. Our tale has a lot of cool news.

00:23:29.059 --> 00:23:31.240
Is this who I think it is? This is the guy that

00:23:31.240 --> 00:23:35.839
has, like, yeah, like, Caiaphas Kane characters.

00:23:37.779 --> 00:23:41.819
I'm pretty sure I saw Master Chief. And then

00:23:41.819 --> 00:23:46.599
Titties. Wait, no, I think this is a different

00:23:46.599 --> 00:23:55.809
one. No, I'm going to look into this. soft pensions

00:23:55.809 --> 00:23:59.369
dancing man and thank you for the 20 sek thanks

00:23:59.369 --> 00:24:01.970
for the zach games recommendation poop hard eyes

00:24:01.970 --> 00:24:06.150
thank you glory to china glory to zach check

00:24:06.150 --> 00:24:09.250
out zach games if she wore a hammer shark boromailing

00:24:09.250 --> 00:24:13.349
1074 uh for five canadian i would love to smell

00:24:13.349 --> 00:24:16.009
jurgen's mask i don't think you would bro i don't

00:24:16.009 --> 00:24:20.029
think that's a heinous No, you wouldn't go you

00:24:20.029 --> 00:24:22.910
would not I assure you so many donations brothers.

00:24:23.049 --> 00:24:25.950
Thank you. Thank you very much card shock Andy

00:24:25.950 --> 00:24:27.670
when is the next poker night? We're gonna not

00:24:27.670 --> 00:24:30.950
lose all our clothes that was typical and the

00:24:30.950 --> 00:24:34.970
time I won 38 K in fake money the game crashed

00:24:34.970 --> 00:24:41.390
I literally went all in I smashed it and I was

00:24:41.390 --> 00:24:52.599
like Alexander Forsbury for five bucks. Finally

00:24:52.599 --> 00:24:54.839
made it to my first live. Andy, your videos are

00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:58.279
what first introduced me to the law of 40K. Grateful

00:24:58.279 --> 00:25:00.420
for your channel. Long live law crimes. Hell

00:25:00.420 --> 00:25:02.880
yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you very much. More

00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:07.779
to come. Always more. Always more. Arston C.,

00:25:07.779 --> 00:25:10.799
another Alberta mention, $2. Highway 22 is by

00:25:10.799 --> 00:25:15.559
far the best ever Alberta roads. I imagine that's

00:25:15.559 --> 00:25:17.480
what it says. Yeah, it's a good highway right

00:25:17.480 --> 00:25:22.579
there, my friend. It's a good highway. We're

00:25:22.579 --> 00:25:26.279
not going to get to the... Thank you for the

00:25:26.279 --> 00:25:29.559
10 Canadian books. I love the adventures of Cain,

00:25:29.759 --> 00:25:33.960
spelled like the Eldar god, and Jorkin. That's

00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:37.680
my favorite book rule. Alright, beginning with

00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:41.059
the actual thing. You're going to be Eldar. One

00:25:41.059 --> 00:25:43.559
more backstory thing. At any moment, Jürgen isn't

00:25:43.559 --> 00:25:45.400
busy, you can assume he is cranking his hog.

00:25:46.900 --> 00:25:54.319
I'm not. He's not less crazy. I did have a quick

00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:58.579
research, though. It looks like there's a weird

00:25:58.579 --> 00:26:00.960
order to the books. From what I can see here,

00:26:01.039 --> 00:26:03.259
it says... The order chronologically is like

00:26:03.259 --> 00:26:06.160
fight or flight, sector 13, the beguiling death

00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:08.680
or glory, echoes of the tomb, the emperor's finest,

00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:11.079
dead in the water, and then for the emperor,

00:26:11.160 --> 00:26:13.519
which is the first. Some of them are short stories.

00:26:13.640 --> 00:26:16.660
They're not. Yeah. I mean, the first. But they

00:26:16.660 --> 00:26:22.799
even do still kind of. Book eight. They do still

00:26:22.799 --> 00:26:26.599
kind of go all over the place. Yeah. If you read

00:26:26.599 --> 00:26:28.779
them in like that order, though, do you reckon

00:26:28.779 --> 00:26:31.180
you'd miss stuff or are they like. I think the

00:26:31.180 --> 00:26:36.059
one online slash wiki one is not up to date.

00:26:36.279 --> 00:26:40.500
There's more books. It would also honestly be

00:26:40.500 --> 00:26:43.839
fine to just read them as they came out. Yeah,

00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:45.599
because they do say it might actually make a

00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:49.359
bit more sense that way. Not everything. But

00:26:49.359 --> 00:26:52.480
getting back into it again, as Colin mentioned

00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:56.339
briefly, like the Valhalla 597th, you're thinking,

00:26:56.380 --> 00:27:00.319
what are Valhallans? Well, blessed be, they are

00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:05.359
the toughest bastards probably any side, you

00:27:05.359 --> 00:27:07.319
know, that come out of a frozen planet. Valhalla

00:27:07.319 --> 00:27:10.259
itself is a death world that is permanent ice

00:27:10.259 --> 00:27:13.720
age. Valhallans are stubborn and they basically

00:27:13.720 --> 00:27:16.980
wear like... sort of cam they camouflage and

00:27:16.980 --> 00:27:18.740
snow really well they basically wear like snow

00:27:18.740 --> 00:27:22.839
jackets and fur coats the entire time and they

00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:25.359
basically they say cheeky breeky they want to

00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:28.339
live in a fridge they want to live in cold temperatures

00:27:28.339 --> 00:27:31.200
the entire time which kane hates which is funny

00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:34.920
um so the book like if we first start off with

00:27:34.920 --> 00:27:39.800
kane uh he's arrived at this like naval um the

00:27:39.800 --> 00:27:43.880
two regiments are meeting together here and they're

00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:45.980
being assigned a new commissar, which is Mr.

00:27:46.099 --> 00:27:52.000
Caius Kane. And Mr. Kane arrives and he meets

00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:54.160
with Colonel Castina and Brocklaw, who we'll

00:27:54.160 --> 00:27:57.119
talk about in a second. And then he immediately

00:27:57.119 --> 00:28:00.380
heads to go meet the regiment. And then he arrives

00:28:00.380 --> 00:28:07.640
in this big, grand mess hall. There's two groups

00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:10.400
currently. As Colin mentioned earlier, there's

00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:12.319
the all -female regiment and then there's the

00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:14.900
all -male regiment. And currently, they're having

00:28:14.900 --> 00:28:18.619
a disagreement because one regiment's founding

00:28:18.619 --> 00:28:21.819
day, they were getting out the plates, the special

00:28:21.819 --> 00:28:25.500
ceramics, the china set for their founding day,

00:28:25.660 --> 00:28:27.799
and the other group didn't like it that much.

00:28:28.039 --> 00:28:31.160
There proceeds to be... an all -out brawl starts

00:28:31.160 --> 00:28:34.880
with several members straight up gutting other

00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:38.859
members. Some people getting like... Three birds

00:28:38.859 --> 00:28:42.680
going. Yeah. Bravost naval officers get beaten

00:28:42.680 --> 00:28:44.920
to death while these two regiments are fighting.

00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:49.940
Kane walks in the room and goes, oh, shit. And

00:28:49.940 --> 00:28:52.460
he's like, I don't want any part of this because

00:28:52.460 --> 00:28:56.220
deep down he's a coward in some way. And then

00:28:56.220 --> 00:28:58.619
he starts to turn around and then someone goes...

00:28:58.799 --> 00:29:01.339
That's a commissar. And the whole room stops

00:29:01.339 --> 00:29:04.519
and they just stare at him. And he literally

00:29:04.519 --> 00:29:06.819
goes into his mode. Like at this point, he's

00:29:06.819 --> 00:29:09.160
built a reputation for being like a kind of a

00:29:09.160 --> 00:29:14.859
hero. And somehow like this reputation means

00:29:14.859 --> 00:29:17.079
that he has to kind of live it out. Like he pretends

00:29:17.079 --> 00:29:19.039
to be a hero all the time because then he gets

00:29:19.039 --> 00:29:22.859
him special privileges. So immediately. Go ahead.

00:29:22.859 --> 00:29:27.519
And also he's very afraid. That if he doesn't

00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:29.720
always live up to the reputation. Someone's going

00:29:29.720 --> 00:29:32.240
to connect the dots. That a lot of what he does.

00:29:32.279 --> 00:29:36.640
Is motivated by cowardice. And not. Imperium

00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:41.380
propaganda. Hell yeah. So he would then be swiftly.

00:29:42.920 --> 00:29:46.519
Shot. His instincts to survive. Is way too strong

00:29:46.519 --> 00:29:49.460
to be a commissar. They notice that the commissar

00:29:49.460 --> 00:29:51.559
is in the room. And immediately he just goes

00:29:51.559 --> 00:29:54.819
into. Boss mode. He steps forward and he just

00:29:54.819 --> 00:29:58.059
tells them. start like what are you doing clean

00:29:58.059 --> 00:30:00.759
it up and for a minute like they're all pause

00:30:00.759 --> 00:30:03.700
like they don't know like they're like oh you

00:30:03.700 --> 00:30:05.440
know it's a commissar because obviously commissars

00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:08.359
in the imperium can basically shoot deserters

00:30:08.359 --> 00:30:11.039
or people who don't follow the commissars you

00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:15.579
know ruling or you know yeah and immediately

00:30:15.579 --> 00:30:18.700
like the brawl just stops and then they just

00:30:18.700 --> 00:30:21.480
like kind of shamefully like start sweeping the

00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:24.819
floor and putting things back and essentially

00:30:24.819 --> 00:30:27.619
this massive name like this riot has been solved

00:30:27.619 --> 00:30:30.319
and the castine and brocklaw are like oh my god

00:30:30.319 --> 00:30:33.500
thank goodness um but there's a there's a few

00:30:33.500 --> 00:30:35.980
now we'll talk about there'll be some consequences

00:30:35.980 --> 00:30:38.839
from this that i'll go into but colin and me

00:30:38.839 --> 00:30:40.880
are just going to mention a few of like let's

00:30:40.880 --> 00:30:42.640
say the ensemble cast that we're going to be

00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:44.680
talking about throughout this episode so colin

00:30:44.680 --> 00:30:47.220
would you please give the gift of telling us

00:30:47.220 --> 00:30:51.859
about gunner feric jürgen of course uh gunner

00:30:51.859 --> 00:30:55.880
feric jürgen is one big aspect of him. I won't

00:30:55.880 --> 00:30:57.480
cover. Cause we'll get to that later. It does

00:30:57.480 --> 00:31:00.299
come up later in the story. So we'll, we'll talk

00:31:00.299 --> 00:31:05.940
about it soon enough, but he is. I don't want

00:31:05.940 --> 00:31:09.720
to necessarily say people don't like him. They

00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:12.759
don't like his aura. And that aura is not an

00:31:12.759 --> 00:31:16.059
aura. He just smells like pure unfettered ass.

00:31:18.740 --> 00:31:23.819
He's like, he's not very personable. He's. Again,

00:31:23.880 --> 00:31:28.259
not a rude person necessarily. He's just kind

00:31:28.259 --> 00:31:31.640
of very straight to the point. Doesn't really,

00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:35.319
arguably doesn't have too much going on up in

00:31:35.319 --> 00:31:40.359
his head. But what he is, is Kane's loyal attendant.

00:31:40.579 --> 00:31:46.039
He is his commissarial aide. And he... It's almost

00:31:46.039 --> 00:31:48.819
like how Ogryns think every command is directly

00:31:48.819 --> 00:31:50.779
given from the Emperor because they don't quite

00:31:50.779 --> 00:31:53.140
get how the chain of command works. It's not

00:31:53.140 --> 00:31:55.440
quite that, but it is that level of devotion.

00:31:55.559 --> 00:31:59.799
He's like, I'm Cain's guy. Cain needs me. He

00:31:59.799 --> 00:32:03.160
believes everything about Cain being a hero.

00:32:03.359 --> 00:32:07.180
He's like, oh my god. A decision that he thinks

00:32:07.180 --> 00:32:10.460
would look cowardly, Jürgen automatically goes...

00:32:10.619 --> 00:32:12.779
no no no there's some big thing behind this so

00:32:12.779 --> 00:32:18.279
you know i mean 110 faith in kane what wasn't

00:32:18.279 --> 00:32:21.400
the the inspiration for kane and uh and jurgen

00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:25.140
uh baldrick and blackadder possibly yeah i think

00:32:25.140 --> 00:32:27.259
that was yeah for the only initially did it say

00:32:27.259 --> 00:32:31.920
british uh sitcoms tv series a comedy one right

00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:34.579
well that was the there's like four seasons of

00:32:34.579 --> 00:32:35.980
it and they were set in different time periods

00:32:35.980 --> 00:32:38.079
but the most famous one is the world yeah each

00:32:38.079 --> 00:32:40.680
setting is like yeah the first one's weird because

00:32:40.680 --> 00:32:43.460
black ad is a bit goofy and silly then he becomes

00:32:43.460 --> 00:32:45.559
super sarcastic in all the other ones and it's

00:32:45.559 --> 00:32:48.039
like baldrick is the the goofy one he's the straight

00:32:48.039 --> 00:32:50.519
man and then it's like the last season set in

00:32:50.519 --> 00:32:52.819
world war one it's really depressing how it ends

00:32:52.819 --> 00:32:57.259
like oh god i quote baldrick from the um series

00:32:57.259 --> 00:33:00.180
who says they say to him what are you doing baldrick

00:33:00.180 --> 00:33:04.410
and he says like Baldrick and Jürgen both have

00:33:04.410 --> 00:33:10.369
West Country British influence. I'm carving my

00:33:10.369 --> 00:33:12.490
name on a bullet, sir. Why are you doing that?

00:33:12.710 --> 00:33:16.089
Well, they say every man's got every man's got

00:33:16.089 --> 00:33:18.910
every bullet. What's the saying, Andy? Every

00:33:18.910 --> 00:33:22.349
man's got a bullet with his name on it. So he

00:33:22.349 --> 00:33:26.089
says, if I've got my one, then I can't die. I

00:33:26.089 --> 00:33:30.460
can't be shot by it. And then it ends with, you

00:33:30.460 --> 00:33:32.660
know, it's World War I. How do you think it ends?

00:33:34.119 --> 00:33:38.980
Can I also mention briefly that Jürgen, Kane,

00:33:39.019 --> 00:33:43.599
it makes it explicit that any uniform that Jürgen

00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:46.299
wears, even if it was measured to his size, does

00:33:46.299 --> 00:33:51.619
not fit him. It is always like slightly too big

00:33:51.619 --> 00:33:55.359
for him. It always is completely messed up and

00:33:55.359 --> 00:33:58.470
he cannot salute to save his life. But he is

00:33:58.470 --> 00:34:01.970
good in combat, but straight up cannot. I believe

00:34:01.970 --> 00:34:05.690
it's mentioned for some medical condition, he's

00:34:05.690 --> 00:34:10.630
exempt from shaving regularly. Hygiene is not

00:34:10.630 --> 00:34:13.650
great, which even if part of what we'll talk

00:34:13.650 --> 00:34:15.690
about is what causes him to smell really bad,

00:34:15.829 --> 00:34:19.869
as perceived, he also just smells really bad.

00:34:20.349 --> 00:34:23.369
To the point that if Kane doesn't want to talk

00:34:23.369 --> 00:34:27.090
to people, he will go to his room. put Jurgen

00:34:27.090 --> 00:34:29.809
in front of the door, and then they have to make

00:34:29.809 --> 00:34:33.690
it through Jurgen, who will, as Jurgen, just

00:34:33.690 --> 00:34:36.429
say, Cain can't see you right now. He has to

00:34:36.429 --> 00:34:39.610
do things. So they have to, like, headbutt through

00:34:39.610 --> 00:34:41.710
the brick wall of a human being that is Jurgen

00:34:41.710 --> 00:34:45.250
to convince him they need to save Cain now. And

00:34:45.250 --> 00:34:48.409
also just stench. You have to get through the

00:34:48.409 --> 00:34:50.630
stench, and most people do not have that fortitude.

00:34:51.250 --> 00:35:00.420
He is awfully loyal, though. He also... Oh, I

00:35:00.420 --> 00:35:02.500
say when I, when I say that, yeah, like loyal,

00:35:02.679 --> 00:35:05.639
like devoted being Kane's assistant later in

00:35:05.639 --> 00:35:10.360
the series, someone just grabs Kane's luggage

00:35:10.360 --> 00:35:13.239
and starts helping it off the shuttle. You're

00:35:13.239 --> 00:35:16.320
going to subset because that is his job as the

00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:20.320
commissarial aid. That is Juergen's job. And

00:35:20.320 --> 00:35:23.639
it's not even like a, like, it's not even like

00:35:23.639 --> 00:35:25.179
Juergen's like thinking it is like, there's no

00:35:25.179 --> 00:35:28.440
like, office politics or something like it's

00:35:28.440 --> 00:35:30.719
gonna take my place i'm gonna lose my my job

00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:32.719
as the commissarial aid i can't let that happen

00:35:32.719 --> 00:35:36.579
it is completely he thinks only he is qualified

00:35:36.579 --> 00:35:42.300
it's like um he's that it's like a labrador it's

00:35:42.300 --> 00:35:44.480
like a sad labrador that's like but i'm the one

00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:46.380
who fetches the toilet paper when it runs out

00:35:46.380 --> 00:35:49.420
and i'm like but the labrador that kind of like

00:35:49.420 --> 00:35:55.219
it smells and it's a stinky labrador With 35

00:35:55.219 --> 00:35:58.460
minutes in, we might have to get going. Really

00:35:58.460 --> 00:36:01.860
quick. I'll go really quick. For the last thing

00:36:01.860 --> 00:36:04.440
about Juergen, you might wonder, aside from paperwork,

00:36:04.659 --> 00:36:07.320
Kane also keeps him around because Juergen is

00:36:07.320 --> 00:36:10.440
probably the most competent non -marine human

00:36:10.440 --> 00:36:15.900
being in the galaxy. He crack shot with a rifle,

00:36:16.019 --> 00:36:19.440
surprises Kane regularly like, Juergen, how did

00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:23.019
you hit that shot? One time Cain thinks Juergen

00:36:23.019 --> 00:36:25.139
misses and Juergen goes, I wasn't aiming for

00:36:25.139 --> 00:36:27.099
that. And then something better happens than

00:36:27.099 --> 00:36:30.320
what Cain expected. What also helps this is that

00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:32.800
it doesn't matter what the situation requires.

00:36:33.079 --> 00:36:34.699
It doesn't matter if it's a stealth mission,

00:36:34.920 --> 00:36:37.679
if it is a, you know, loud, you know, going loud,

00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:41.579
if it's a diplomatic mission. Juergen has a melter

00:36:41.579 --> 00:36:44.840
gun strung over his shoulders at all times. And

00:36:44.840 --> 00:36:49.940
I don't care. If you're a Necron, how augmented

00:36:49.940 --> 00:36:52.300
you are, if you are not a named character, you

00:36:52.300 --> 00:36:55.900
lose to the Melting Gun. He kills quite a few

00:36:55.900 --> 00:36:58.039
with that, but we'll save that for future stuff,

00:36:58.159 --> 00:37:03.219
because it's amazing. Just a very brief bit on

00:37:03.219 --> 00:37:05.239
the characters mentioned earlier, which was Kasteen

00:37:05.239 --> 00:37:09.239
and Brokklor. They do not get on at all in the

00:37:09.239 --> 00:37:11.800
beginning, but they will slowly develop a respect.

00:37:12.139 --> 00:37:15.599
Kasteen is, because they both had losses against

00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:18.940
Tyranids, Kasteen is probably i think only in

00:37:18.940 --> 00:37:22.940
her 30s at the time and she's like um young she's

00:37:22.940 --> 00:37:25.300
like a like a sort of young red -headed officer

00:37:25.300 --> 00:37:29.199
who kane does say like is pretty attractive looking

00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:30.940
and then they will use that to their benefit

00:37:30.940 --> 00:37:35.460
later um and in uh with certain you know foppish

00:37:35.460 --> 00:37:40.000
men pining after her in certain areas um but

00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:43.500
cassine is pretty much needs reassurance as a

00:37:43.500 --> 00:37:47.679
character but is competent and uh is very much

00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:50.500
a you know fantastic commander and officer who

00:37:50.500 --> 00:37:52.400
later in the series you know really gives some

00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:54.780
backbone to characters who think they can take

00:37:54.780 --> 00:37:57.619
care on uh brocklaw is slightly older than castine

00:37:57.619 --> 00:38:00.820
but he somewhat is a good second in command because

00:38:00.820 --> 00:38:03.940
he actually acquiesces to a lot of her commands

00:38:03.940 --> 00:38:06.619
and he literally like they're like a perfect

00:38:06.619 --> 00:38:09.000
match in terms of aids there's nothing like um

00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:12.920
really that makes him like he's kind of just

00:38:12.920 --> 00:38:14.940
a cool dude brocklaw he's like a pretty solid

00:38:14.940 --> 00:38:20.260
guy They both like Cain quite a lot, but he's

00:38:20.260 --> 00:38:23.539
not completely... He doesn't surrender to Cain

00:38:23.539 --> 00:38:25.559
or anything. They're almost like friends at some

00:38:25.559 --> 00:38:28.679
point. Almost, because he's a commissar. But

00:38:28.679 --> 00:38:31.179
then there's another small side character, Colin,

00:38:31.320 --> 00:38:34.599
who you would please briefly... I love her so

00:38:34.599 --> 00:38:41.079
much. Janet Sulla. Originally a quartermaster,

00:38:41.360 --> 00:38:45.099
she was eventually due to... the rampant death

00:38:45.099 --> 00:38:48.559
that caused these regiments to merge, uh, became

00:38:48.559 --> 00:38:51.639
a, I think I'll leave a gunnery Sergeant for

00:38:51.639 --> 00:38:54.619
a while or some equivalent. She became in charge

00:38:54.619 --> 00:38:58.000
of more people than anyone who wasn't Janet solo

00:38:58.000 --> 00:39:03.239
was happy with. Uh, she is described as looking,

00:39:03.300 --> 00:39:07.119
having the face of a horse, uh, being pretty

00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:12.260
dumb, being just. very much like Imperial Guard,

00:39:12.460 --> 00:39:15.460
hoorah, we're gonna kick their asses, and we're

00:39:15.460 --> 00:39:17.619
the Imperium, hell yeah, which is an attitude

00:39:17.619 --> 00:39:22.159
Cain despises, and even to an extent, like, Castine

00:39:22.159 --> 00:39:24.880
and Broclaw, the two, like, main, like, higher

00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:27.940
-ups of the 597th, they're also like, you take

00:39:27.940 --> 00:39:30.460
it too far, we do not need that many heroic charges.

00:39:31.159 --> 00:39:36.000
But, there are, the one she, uh, she has complete,

00:39:36.280 --> 00:39:39.969
kind of like Jürgen, complete unrelenting trust

00:39:39.969 --> 00:39:42.750
and faith in Kane to the point she will ask herself,

00:39:42.869 --> 00:39:45.170
what would Kane do whenever she's in a situation?

00:39:45.530 --> 00:39:47.650
And then she gets it completely wrong because

00:39:47.650 --> 00:39:51.469
she thinks Kane would do the forward hoorah supercharge.

00:39:53.409 --> 00:39:57.170
But she also probably has a bit of a crush on

00:39:57.170 --> 00:40:01.489
the guy. She's so ugly. Like Kane literally says

00:40:01.489 --> 00:40:04.219
like whenever she's. coming near he always says

00:40:04.219 --> 00:40:07.320
quote she's trotting over because she looks like

00:40:07.320 --> 00:40:10.639
a horse i choose to believe that kane is simply

00:40:10.639 --> 00:40:14.860
being a dick i'm sure she's fine in one book

00:40:14.860 --> 00:40:17.980
he literally she because a lot of the book perspectives

00:40:17.980 --> 00:40:21.639
they shift and some of the recounting of the

00:40:21.639 --> 00:40:24.960
story is from the future janet siller isn't it

00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:29.119
colin yes uh what i was going to say is that

00:40:29.119 --> 00:40:31.820
in spite of the fact that Her tactics are the

00:40:31.820 --> 00:40:34.219
opposite of what Cain does. You should know that

00:40:34.219 --> 00:40:36.440
Cain's stories are framed as memoirs. It's Cain

00:40:36.440 --> 00:40:39.380
writing down, retelling the narrative as he remembers

00:40:39.380 --> 00:40:42.800
them, leaving certain things out, giving a different

00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:44.719
spin on things that might have actually happened.

00:40:45.579 --> 00:40:48.239
And sometimes in between chapters, there will

00:40:48.239 --> 00:40:52.460
be little brief news snippets of what was going

00:40:52.460 --> 00:40:55.079
on in the world because the editor is trying

00:40:55.079 --> 00:40:57.480
to give greater context to the story Cain wouldn't

00:40:57.480 --> 00:41:00.739
or didn't share. And whenever a bit from Sulla

00:41:00.739 --> 00:41:07.280
comes in, it is always basically signed off as

00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:12.360
General Sulla. So whenever Cain was done, despite

00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:16.159
the fact everyone thought she was an idiot, one

00:41:16.159 --> 00:41:18.639
of the highest ranking people in the entire Imperium.

00:41:20.119 --> 00:41:22.159
It wasn't just like, you know, you're the general.

00:41:23.679 --> 00:41:26.300
Oh, sorry. Is this if... If it was a memoir,

00:41:26.400 --> 00:41:28.199
are there ever bits where it's just like, and

00:41:28.199 --> 00:41:31.119
then me and Jürgen stood down 10 ,000 Tyranids,

00:41:31.219 --> 00:41:33.340
and then there's a note that actually reports

00:41:33.340 --> 00:41:35.619
that it was only a couple of hundred. Is there

00:41:35.619 --> 00:41:40.619
ever bits where they're contradicting? Cain plays

00:41:40.619 --> 00:41:43.619
down things rather than play up. Yeah, Cain plays

00:41:43.619 --> 00:41:46.099
it down. Amberley Vale, for the most part, then

00:41:46.099 --> 00:41:49.619
side note, he's underselling it. It was much

00:41:49.619 --> 00:41:53.320
worse than what he thinks it was. Speaking of

00:41:53.320 --> 00:41:57.320
Amberley Vale. Oh, yeah. In fact, one of the

00:41:57.320 --> 00:42:00.599
only Lady Generals of the Imperial Guard. So

00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:05.099
she... Cain doesn't like her, but clearly something's

00:42:05.099 --> 00:42:06.880
taken in that brain of hers that made her worth

00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:10.920
promoting the General. She's generally pretty

00:42:10.920 --> 00:42:16.960
competent. Get him out of here. In fact, yeah,

00:42:17.000 --> 00:42:22.019
General is... Lord General, pardon me. Just Lady

00:42:22.019 --> 00:42:25.400
General. he's a lady which it should be noted

00:42:25.400 --> 00:42:29.119
the only thing higher than that is war master

00:42:29.119 --> 00:42:38.920
so she's pretty important hmm i can't believe

00:42:38.920 --> 00:42:45.539
it you leave her yeah technically i'm higher

00:42:45.539 --> 00:42:50.300
ranking than you space marine like oh dear oh

00:42:50.300 --> 00:42:54.989
and the um The next character, though, Colin,

00:42:55.170 --> 00:42:58.750
is kind of the last of the ensemble reoccurring

00:42:58.750 --> 00:43:01.889
characters throughout the series. Colin, would

00:43:01.889 --> 00:43:05.489
you like to tell us about Mrs. Ambley Vale? Of

00:43:05.489 --> 00:43:09.969
course. She is the person annotating and adding

00:43:09.969 --> 00:43:14.429
in those non -Cain narration bits. She is the

00:43:14.429 --> 00:43:17.769
one compiling his memoirs, making them into somewhat

00:43:17.769 --> 00:43:20.550
of a coherent narrative, and presenting them.

00:43:21.159 --> 00:43:24.619
to her fellow Inquisitors as a source of information,

00:43:24.860 --> 00:43:27.380
knowledge of the galaxy. You can learn some good

00:43:27.380 --> 00:43:29.119
things from Cain. You should probably read these

00:43:29.119 --> 00:43:33.300
Inquisitors. And she's a member of the Ordo Xenos,

00:43:33.460 --> 00:43:36.940
specializing, of course, in Xenos. It's in the

00:43:36.940 --> 00:43:44.039
name. And she... Some of what she is, we'll get

00:43:44.039 --> 00:43:48.239
into this later, but she's a very... very competent

00:43:48.239 --> 00:43:50.559
inquisitor as an inquisitor she's also a very

00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:56.139
scary woman because inquisitor uh she can and

00:43:56.139 --> 00:44:02.559
will make you vanish she uh something again she's

00:44:02.559 --> 00:44:05.900
very in the books not as much of a mask of kane

00:44:05.900 --> 00:44:08.860
but every now and again there's there will be

00:44:08.860 --> 00:44:14.159
a moment where her usual friendly pretty approachable

00:44:14.159 --> 00:44:16.579
demeanor she is usually a pretty you know Not

00:44:16.579 --> 00:44:19.360
cheerful, but relatively. For an Inquisitor,

00:44:19.380 --> 00:44:22.619
she's pretty cheerful, sociable, friendly. It's

00:44:22.619 --> 00:44:27.079
not the grim destroy the planet for this is the

00:44:27.079 --> 00:44:32.320
grim, dark future. Not quite. It's not I'm going

00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:34.400
to commit exterminatus on your planet, but your

00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:36.980
family will go missing if you don't do as I tell

00:44:36.980 --> 00:44:42.199
you. That's the scale. To her credit, she doesn't

00:44:42.199 --> 00:44:44.260
start with disappearing your family, which for

00:44:44.260 --> 00:44:48.079
an Inquisitor, pretty good. But then that mask

00:44:48.079 --> 00:44:50.559
falls off and the situation needs it, and that's

00:44:50.559 --> 00:44:53.619
when you remember, right, Inquisitor, I'm horrified

00:44:53.619 --> 00:44:57.239
of you. Since she's both editing his memoirs

00:44:57.239 --> 00:45:01.199
and traveled with Kane quite a bit and shared

00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:03.260
some tender moments with Kane quite frequently,

00:45:03.440 --> 00:45:08.139
she is one of two, the other being good old Colonel

00:45:08.139 --> 00:45:13.980
Mustache Man, Mostromo, fuck, whatever. Moist.

00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:18.920
Yeah, Colonel Moist. One of the only people that

00:45:18.920 --> 00:45:21.079
knows Kane. Hey guys, I'm just running the Imperium's

00:45:21.079 --> 00:45:23.639
armies. You should have seen these Xenos bozos

00:45:23.639 --> 00:45:27.760
trying to kill our men. I'm General Moist. Yeah,

00:45:27.860 --> 00:45:32.480
baby! I'm a colonel. You get outranked by Sola.

00:45:32.539 --> 00:45:37.679
How do you feel, bozo? But she's one of two people

00:45:37.679 --> 00:45:41.019
that sees through Kane's mask. But unlike Colonel

00:45:41.019 --> 00:45:44.860
Moist, it's the more positive light. She feels

00:45:44.860 --> 00:45:46.679
that whenever Kane is saying he did something

00:45:46.679 --> 00:45:50.619
purely for cowardice, she's an inquisitor. She's

00:45:50.619 --> 00:45:52.639
trained to analyze every aspect of a situation.

00:45:53.099 --> 00:45:55.380
She feels Kane's not given himself enough credit

00:45:55.380 --> 00:46:02.340
for over a century of survivor's guilt and trauma

00:46:02.340 --> 00:46:05.579
and PTSD. And, oh boy, is Kane a mess of a human

00:46:05.579 --> 00:46:09.380
being. But she, from her peering under Kane's

00:46:09.380 --> 00:46:12.420
various layers of different personalities he's

00:46:12.420 --> 00:46:14.880
gathered for himself, she... is quite fond of

00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:18.139
him. She believes that even if he is pretty cowardly,

00:46:18.159 --> 00:46:23.579
he's a good guy. And she is, again, she is a

00:46:23.579 --> 00:46:26.199
constant presence. So oftentimes in the narrative

00:46:26.199 --> 00:46:28.420
of the story, but she is the one annotating the

00:46:28.420 --> 00:46:30.460
memoirs. So you will rarely go more than a few

00:46:30.460 --> 00:46:33.139
pages without her putting just a little note

00:46:33.139 --> 00:46:37.780
to read after a sentence Kane writes. The best

00:46:37.780 --> 00:46:41.820
of which was when Kane said, I'd like to think

00:46:41.820 --> 00:46:44.349
I'm not that much of a coward. And the annotation

00:46:44.349 --> 00:46:51.090
was just all caps, HA. Yeah, she's clocked in.

00:46:51.489 --> 00:46:54.329
Before we get into the actual... So that's like

00:46:54.329 --> 00:46:56.789
the background bit is where the story's starting.

00:46:57.090 --> 00:46:59.349
And I think we have a few more dinos just before

00:46:59.349 --> 00:47:02.750
we get into the proper plot of the first roadblock.

00:47:03.769 --> 00:47:08.269
Rich Mac, New Zealand 5. Hal, as you are clearly

00:47:08.269 --> 00:47:10.690
an alien that came to Earth to study humanity.

00:47:11.949 --> 00:47:15.789
And Colin, surely there were more easy careers

00:47:15.789 --> 00:47:22.269
to choose when assimilating. When I became a

00:47:22.269 --> 00:47:24.130
teacher, you mean? Look, man, I don't know. I

00:47:24.130 --> 00:47:25.889
thought I wanted to be a teacher until I got

00:47:25.889 --> 00:47:32.889
to the teaching. Wow. I don't think most people

00:47:32.889 --> 00:47:35.969
intend to become YouTubers, apart from the drama

00:47:35.969 --> 00:47:40.030
ones and stuff. I'm happy it happened. Yeah,

00:47:40.110 --> 00:47:47.369
grateful. Happy. Let's see. Morningstar, five

00:47:47.369 --> 00:47:49.130
bucks. Hey, Colin, you heard about Wraithbone

00:47:49.130 --> 00:47:50.909
is no longer made using the warp instead of earthly

00:47:50.909 --> 00:47:55.489
minerals. Now, that is Garbo, but from what I

00:47:55.489 --> 00:47:58.570
saw, I still need to get the new codex. I did

00:47:58.570 --> 00:48:00.889
see, I think someone screenshotted a picture

00:48:00.889 --> 00:48:03.449
of it and tweeted it or whatever. I'm pretty

00:48:03.449 --> 00:48:07.590
sure that was a misunderstanding. From what I

00:48:07.590 --> 00:48:10.650
believe, they've... kind of soft changed it to

00:48:10.650 --> 00:48:13.909
they do still sing it into existence from the

00:48:13.909 --> 00:48:16.849
warp and then it's like they might add stuff

00:48:16.849 --> 00:48:19.769
to it for different purposes which is still a

00:48:19.769 --> 00:48:23.150
little bit annoying but it's not quite outright

00:48:23.150 --> 00:48:25.989
going the warp is no longer involved we're basically

00:48:25.989 --> 00:48:29.210
just mining it's a little bit better than that

00:48:29.210 --> 00:48:32.110
or they turn it into different materials from

00:48:32.110 --> 00:48:35.409
there so it's a stupid it's a stupid lore change

00:48:35.409 --> 00:48:38.429
but it's not as garbage as it first appeared

00:48:39.720 --> 00:48:42.059
Still didn't need to happen. What's next for

00:48:42.059 --> 00:48:46.940
Andy? James Gallagher for five bucks. Colin,

00:48:47.019 --> 00:48:51.300
Eli, and Hal, would you watch Fantasy Sigma or

00:48:51.300 --> 00:48:56.199
AOS Sigma? Andy Boingob funny. Boingob funny.

00:48:57.460 --> 00:49:00.539
Boingob. Ulrich, I think is your correct answer

00:49:00.539 --> 00:49:04.340
there. You know, I'm sorry you don't have as

00:49:04.340 --> 00:49:09.590
many votes. AOS Sigma. Anyway, Sigmar, because

00:49:09.590 --> 00:49:11.730
he actually might intervene. I think fancy Sigmar,

00:49:11.789 --> 00:49:15.230
he's trapped. He does still... Intervening softly

00:49:15.230 --> 00:49:17.869
is all he can do in fantasy, because he is trapped

00:49:17.869 --> 00:49:20.909
in the vortex. Every now and again he does, but

00:49:20.909 --> 00:49:24.750
not nearly. There are no Stormcast in fantasy.

00:49:24.789 --> 00:49:27.469
There are no Lightning Warriors. Voiced in the

00:49:27.469 --> 00:49:38.139
vortex. Sigmar's gone soft. Cast in C. You guys

00:49:38.139 --> 00:49:39.860
should check out Project Morningstar sometime.

00:49:40.059 --> 00:49:41.699
It's on YouTube and it's from the same guys that

00:49:41.699 --> 00:49:43.800
did X -Day. I've checked it out. It's good. I've

00:49:43.800 --> 00:49:49.739
seen the first episode. Yeah. Big Mac. Always

00:49:49.739 --> 00:49:54.360
love a good animation. Tim Boone. Tom Warren.

00:49:54.820 --> 00:49:59.460
Thank you for the $10, Tom Warren. uh this is

00:49:59.460 --> 00:50:01.300
kind of weird but i'm gonna give you money to

00:50:01.300 --> 00:50:03.260
tell you guys to look at a meme i'm about to

00:50:03.260 --> 00:50:05.500
send into the discord although i think andy has

00:50:05.500 --> 00:50:09.500
already seen it all right and now i will look

00:50:09.500 --> 00:50:14.559
in the discourse okay you like my favorite canadian

00:50:14.559 --> 00:50:17.420
and he's my second favorite channel islander

00:50:17.420 --> 00:50:21.880
wow Colin is my third favourite diabetic. Al

00:50:21.880 --> 00:50:25.619
is my least hated Englishman. Wow. Wow, that's

00:50:25.619 --> 00:50:27.599
high confidence. I mean, I think he means Henry

00:50:27.599 --> 00:50:31.340
Cowell. I believe that's what I was going to

00:50:31.340 --> 00:50:36.440
get. Who else could it be? How would you guys

00:50:36.440 --> 00:50:39.300
feel about a Ministorum book styled like The

00:50:39.300 --> 00:50:44.289
Office? you know what i'd be some i'd appreciate

00:50:44.289 --> 00:50:46.670
if it was like a shorter story i think that'd

00:50:46.670 --> 00:50:48.550
be fun the whole book would probably get old

00:50:48.550 --> 00:50:52.150
quick let me know 20 30 pages i think that'd

00:50:52.150 --> 00:50:55.690
be fun continuing um off though with the story

00:50:55.690 --> 00:50:59.550
of this is the first like uh book slash engagement

00:50:59.550 --> 00:51:03.309
of kyphus kane in the novels and we've just come

00:51:03.309 --> 00:51:07.239
from the massive like uh canteen brawl And at

00:51:07.239 --> 00:51:09.599
this point, there are considered five instigators.

00:51:09.639 --> 00:51:13.059
It's a mix of things from both regiments. It's

00:51:13.059 --> 00:51:16.119
men and women. And they are essentially set up

00:51:16.119 --> 00:51:20.139
for a trial on the naval ship. And this is a

00:51:20.139 --> 00:51:23.780
bit like Kane sort of first showing off his unique

00:51:23.780 --> 00:51:28.960
talent, which is he sort of skews the trial because

00:51:28.960 --> 00:51:31.679
it's a... bad thing in which he's trying to unite

00:51:31.679 --> 00:51:33.840
these two regiments into the five nine seventh

00:51:33.840 --> 00:51:36.360
but then if he has to immediately discipline

00:51:36.360 --> 00:51:39.719
and then execute these five people who bother

00:51:39.719 --> 00:51:41.940
they all basically killed someone so he was like

00:51:41.940 --> 00:51:44.719
yeah it was a bit of a murder a bit of a murder

00:51:44.719 --> 00:51:46.880
this is warhammer everyone does a bit of killing

00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:49.920
yeah and it's fine there's there's five like

00:51:49.920 --> 00:51:52.360
the five in total are like there's a mix like

00:51:52.360 --> 00:51:54.320
most of them are like that's like some short

00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:57.099
ginger guy there's bit through the women. There's

00:51:57.099 --> 00:51:59.679
one who's like a notable character. He's a one

00:51:59.679 --> 00:52:01.739
of the snipers of the regiment called Sorrel,

00:52:01.840 --> 00:52:05.119
who I remember Kane says specifically he has

00:52:05.119 --> 00:52:08.579
been around like Dark Eldar and Sorrel's look

00:52:08.579 --> 00:52:13.659
in his eyes are so like. The guy has no conscience.

00:52:13.780 --> 00:52:16.480
He's an absolute psychopath in his eyes. The

00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:19.300
point in which Kagan feels like the hairs on

00:52:19.300 --> 00:52:21.739
the back of his neck go up. He's more scared

00:52:21.739 --> 00:52:24.739
of this guy than he is of Drukhari or anything

00:52:24.739 --> 00:52:28.440
like that. The ranking goes Dark Eldar, this

00:52:28.440 --> 00:52:32.980
guy, and the Necrons. He can tell this guy is

00:52:32.980 --> 00:52:35.400
a proper psychopath in his eyes. At least the

00:52:35.400 --> 00:52:37.139
Dark Eldar are having fun while they're doing

00:52:37.139 --> 00:52:40.190
it. Even Tyboros the Red Wake would... Ty Ross

00:52:40.190 --> 00:52:41.389
of the Red Wake would look at this guy and just

00:52:41.389 --> 00:52:44.210
be like, that guy unnerves me. That's not right.

00:52:45.090 --> 00:52:47.989
Kane immediately clocks this guy like, this guy

00:52:47.989 --> 00:52:51.849
is willing to murder anything. Not a blank, by

00:52:51.849 --> 00:52:54.550
the way, that guy. He's just messed up. Sitting

00:52:54.550 --> 00:52:56.929
at the back of the courtroom, hands on his knees

00:52:56.929 --> 00:53:03.010
just there. Yeah, but like, you'll see him at

00:53:03.010 --> 00:53:06.010
some point, and he does creepy things, but he's...

00:53:06.920 --> 00:53:08.480
so they saw there's like this trial's beginning

00:53:08.480 --> 00:53:11.239
and kane is like if he immediately comes in he's

00:53:11.239 --> 00:53:12.780
trying to be the commissar for this regiment

00:53:12.780 --> 00:53:15.559
and then he has to execute five of them that

00:53:15.559 --> 00:53:18.019
probably will not look too like it won't make

00:53:18.019 --> 00:53:20.920
them feel too fondly of him and his number one

00:53:20.920 --> 00:53:24.340
priority is them watching his back so he would

00:53:24.340 --> 00:53:27.840
do anything to make that is yeah like yeah immediately

00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:30.719
anything to like means he will survive something

00:53:30.719 --> 00:53:34.650
he'll do it So he kind of skews the trial in

00:53:34.650 --> 00:53:37.150
a way in which there's other commissars who are

00:53:37.150 --> 00:53:39.329
in charge of passing the judgment. Some of them

00:53:39.329 --> 00:53:41.349
are a bit younger and they're totally enamored

00:53:41.349 --> 00:53:42.969
by like, Oh my God, it's like, it's Kiefer's

00:53:42.969 --> 00:53:44.929
gate. Like, you know, bro. So here they're, they're

00:53:44.929 --> 00:53:47.590
wins. Like he just, he talks his way around it

00:53:47.590 --> 00:53:50.230
being like, you know, I, you know, we need to

00:53:50.230 --> 00:53:51.789
punish these guys. It's, you know, that we're

00:53:51.789 --> 00:53:53.670
doing this correctly. So I'm going to give them

00:53:53.670 --> 00:53:55.730
the ultimate punishment. And then the guy who's

00:53:55.730 --> 00:53:57.570
in charge of the naval fleet is like, yeah, death,

00:53:57.670 --> 00:54:00.059
death, death. And then. He says, no, no, no,

00:54:00.099 --> 00:54:02.400
we're going to put them in a death squad. And

00:54:02.400 --> 00:54:04.940
then for the next opportunity, when there's like

00:54:04.940 --> 00:54:07.059
a mission that requires basically, you know,

00:54:07.099 --> 00:54:09.400
we don't need anyone to survive necessarily,

00:54:09.659 --> 00:54:11.960
you know, they make it back. They're fine. You

00:54:11.960 --> 00:54:14.460
know, these guys will be the first volunteers

00:54:14.460 --> 00:54:18.420
for a death squad. And yeah, it was like a, it

00:54:18.420 --> 00:54:21.559
was that or a penal legion. So also basically.

00:54:22.659 --> 00:54:26.780
So that. Kyfer's managed to sneak his way around

00:54:26.780 --> 00:54:28.880
it, and then the both of regiments kind of celebrated.

00:54:28.880 --> 00:54:31.639
It was like, yeah! He actually represented us.

00:54:32.119 --> 00:54:35.579
He managed to... The 597th was being cheered

00:54:35.579 --> 00:54:37.320
and things like that. So he brought the legion,

00:54:37.320 --> 00:54:40.760
the regiment kind of together. And this is where

00:54:40.760 --> 00:54:44.500
they first have their engagement with the planet

00:54:44.500 --> 00:54:50.940
called Gravalax. Now... No, you go ahead. I think...

00:54:51.320 --> 00:54:53.460
Like you said, everything is about, you know,

00:54:53.460 --> 00:54:56.300
watch Kane's back, which is why for everyone

00:54:56.300 --> 00:54:58.679
else involved in the brawl, they got cleaning

00:54:58.679 --> 00:55:02.019
duty for a bit, which is their punishment, which

00:55:02.019 --> 00:55:05.039
even other commissars would probably still be

00:55:05.039 --> 00:55:07.320
breaking out the bolt pistol for something like

00:55:07.320 --> 00:55:11.780
that. Kane wants them united. He does not want

00:55:11.780 --> 00:55:16.440
them united against him because Kane is well

00:55:16.440 --> 00:55:19.559
aware. of what happens to commissars that get

00:55:19.559 --> 00:55:21.400
a little bit too trigger happy with their men.

00:55:21.820 --> 00:55:24.199
They find a crack grenade under their bed that

00:55:24.199 --> 00:55:27.280
night that is a little bit primed. Yeah, or just

00:55:27.280 --> 00:55:31.820
shot in the back in the field. And again, for

00:55:31.820 --> 00:55:34.059
what it's worth, he is a better person than he

00:55:34.059 --> 00:55:36.940
lets on. He also just does not like shooting

00:55:36.940 --> 00:55:43.320
people. In my 40k? What is that doing here? Yeah,

00:55:43.340 --> 00:55:46.440
he's not crazy. His thing is just a way. He doesn't

00:55:46.440 --> 00:55:50.280
feel the need. So they begin their first... No,

00:55:50.280 --> 00:55:54.000
no, no. I'm going to fight you on this. He does

00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:56.199
not think it is just a waste. He does not think

00:55:56.199 --> 00:55:59.619
it is just a waste. For a slight spoiler again

00:55:59.619 --> 00:56:01.840
later in the series, Cain remembers the face

00:56:01.840 --> 00:56:04.940
of everyone he's had to execute. You do not do

00:56:04.940 --> 00:56:07.599
that if you just think it's a waste of resources.

00:56:07.800 --> 00:56:10.699
You do not have a memory palace of the people

00:56:10.699 --> 00:56:14.360
you condemned to death if you... It's purely

00:56:14.360 --> 00:56:18.579
resources. Cain is... Gain is a good guy. He's

00:56:18.579 --> 00:56:21.280
a good dude. It is also, though, however, more

00:56:21.280 --> 00:56:25.019
bodies in front of him. Yeah. I mean, to be fair,

00:56:25.159 --> 00:56:27.400
I remember all the faces of the people I've executed.

00:56:28.460 --> 00:56:30.599
Which is zero, so it's easy. Crazy, crazy war

00:56:30.599 --> 00:56:35.639
drop, almost. I'm hoping that... The hobo, you

00:56:35.639 --> 00:56:39.639
know, in Midnight. They begin their first campaign,

00:56:39.820 --> 00:56:41.579
though, so the first time the regiment's going

00:56:41.579 --> 00:56:44.380
to go set out as one group. This will be to the

00:56:44.380 --> 00:56:47.739
backwater planet called Gravalax. Gravelax's

00:56:47.739 --> 00:56:51.179
lore is literally it is a shithole. Like it literally

00:56:51.179 --> 00:56:53.559
is a terrible place. It's kind of on the edge

00:56:53.559 --> 00:56:57.239
of like the Damocles Gulf stuff. So at this point,

00:56:57.260 --> 00:57:01.500
the Tau are kind of vying for the planet. At

00:57:01.500 --> 00:57:03.840
the moment in time, the Imperium and the Tau

00:57:03.840 --> 00:57:07.820
have like a pseudo peace treaty or things. It's

00:57:07.820 --> 00:57:10.300
in between wars because obviously other things

00:57:10.300 --> 00:57:12.820
come up like Tyranid invasions or orcs or...

00:57:13.389 --> 00:57:18.110
other things uh so the tower like slowly creeping

00:57:18.110 --> 00:57:20.969
their way their influence into all of gravel

00:57:20.969 --> 00:57:23.289
axe you can saw when they arrive they see some

00:57:23.289 --> 00:57:26.630
of the buildings are like weirdly domed and they're

00:57:26.630 --> 00:57:29.050
like and then came to like that's odd why is

00:57:29.050 --> 00:57:32.489
it not all gothic towers and stuff where are

00:57:32.489 --> 00:57:36.909
the temples yeah and then some of the like the

00:57:36.909 --> 00:57:39.750
the city is like there's divided loyalty between

00:57:39.750 --> 00:57:42.389
people who live there like some people paint

00:57:42.389 --> 00:57:44.769
themselves blue to look like the tower which

00:57:44.769 --> 00:57:53.829
is so crazy blue faces really really quick aside

00:57:53.829 --> 00:57:57.090
i'm sorry but it reminds me of something do you

00:57:57.090 --> 00:57:59.030
guys see like the end of the clone wars would

00:57:59.030 --> 00:58:01.489
ahsoka's troops paint their face oh yeah they're

00:58:01.489 --> 00:58:06.880
supposed to be like Honoring her as their commander.

00:58:07.099 --> 00:58:11.000
Now, now tell me, gentlemen, what happens if

00:58:11.000 --> 00:58:13.659
they did that with Mr. Samuel Jackson's character?

00:58:15.539 --> 00:58:23.380
Where was Mace Whitney's? Jesus Christ. The city

00:58:23.380 --> 00:58:27.820
is like, there's a tense. air to the city is

00:58:27.820 --> 00:58:29.900
a backwater planet there's nothing crazy really

00:58:29.900 --> 00:58:32.659
there but they arrive at the military base and

00:58:32.659 --> 00:58:34.539
then there's some other regiments from different

00:58:34.539 --> 00:58:37.900
places and kane comes across his old friend divas

00:58:37.900 --> 00:58:40.480
who's like the only friend he really made other

00:58:40.480 --> 00:58:43.000
than jurgen in the 12th field artillery because

00:58:43.000 --> 00:58:44.659
the 12th field artillery actually surprisingly

00:58:44.659 --> 00:58:49.639
there as well and they divas is immediate like

00:58:49.639 --> 00:58:51.940
we're going out drinking we're doing it right

00:58:51.940 --> 00:58:55.789
now let's go and kane is like Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:58:55.869 --> 00:58:59.349
I mean, so they go. When Divas mentions him,

00:58:59.449 --> 00:59:01.030
like, supposedly, like, the regiments have been

00:59:01.030 --> 00:59:03.130
here already. Like, there's a rumor of an Inquisitor

00:59:03.130 --> 00:59:05.670
supposedly on planet. And then Cain, like, you

00:59:05.670 --> 00:59:09.110
know, keeps that in later. Then they're walking

00:59:09.110 --> 00:59:11.889
back late at night the wrong way because Divas

00:59:11.889 --> 00:59:14.809
is drunk. And they get stumbled upon by guys

00:59:14.809 --> 00:59:19.630
in blueface. And they immediately, like, they,

00:59:19.730 --> 00:59:22.250
like, say, like, you know, you know, like, this

00:59:22.250 --> 00:59:24.659
is, like, this is their anime character. I'm

00:59:24.659 --> 00:59:26.380
ready to beat you up moment sort of thing, but

00:59:26.380 --> 00:59:28.840
it doesn't go well. Even though Kane is pretty

00:59:28.840 --> 00:59:31.920
damn good with a sword, he's very athletic, and

00:59:31.920 --> 00:59:36.559
his combat skills sort of elevated his scores

00:59:36.559 --> 00:59:40.139
in the Scholar Progenium. He's regularly called

00:59:40.139 --> 00:59:42.380
the best swordsman in whatever segmentum he's

00:59:42.380 --> 00:59:46.059
in. He's pretty good, but turns out, like, you

00:59:46.059 --> 00:59:49.079
know... five on one is pretty tough uh so they

00:59:49.079 --> 00:59:51.119
just start kicking the crap out of them on the

00:59:51.119 --> 00:59:55.280
floor and um this is but then luckily there's

00:59:55.280 --> 00:59:58.179
a big screech that goes off and then this massive

00:59:58.179 --> 01:00:01.519
crew rocks up and he says like you know this

01:00:01.519 --> 01:00:04.260
is this is not part of the greater good so the

01:00:04.260 --> 01:00:07.780
the towel sympathizes back off and then kane

01:00:07.780 --> 01:00:10.000
has a few law drops here says you know i he's

01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:11.480
like i know what you are you're a crew you know

01:00:11.480 --> 01:00:13.670
my parents were killed by crew Well, if you don't

01:00:13.670 --> 01:00:16.070
actually know for certain, I think we're not

01:00:16.070 --> 01:00:18.230
sure. No, we don't. He might have just made it

01:00:18.230 --> 01:00:20.469
up. He just says it to make the guy feel bad,

01:00:20.590 --> 01:00:25.269
which is funny. But the crew guy, he saved him,

01:00:25.369 --> 01:00:27.730
so he was pretty happy. Goes back to the regiment,

01:00:27.889 --> 01:00:30.809
and they're getting prepared now to go meet someone

01:00:30.809 --> 01:00:33.429
important, and they've been invited to a special

01:00:33.429 --> 01:00:35.989
event, which I think Colin will then take over

01:00:35.989 --> 01:00:40.820
for now. Indeed. So the special little event

01:00:40.820 --> 01:00:44.960
is nothing more than the governor's ball. You

01:00:44.960 --> 01:00:47.119
know, planetary governor, this is still an imperial

01:00:47.119 --> 01:00:50.519
world, getting a little bit too towie for the

01:00:50.519 --> 01:00:53.659
Imperium's taste, but still controlled by the

01:00:53.659 --> 01:00:57.139
Imperium, despite the rampant blue face. And

01:00:57.139 --> 01:01:00.820
the governor, of course, being an imperial governor,

01:01:01.000 --> 01:01:05.739
his name is Grice, is throwing a ball. He meets,

01:01:05.760 --> 01:01:09.940
you know, Mr. Governor Grice, who, if any of

01:01:09.940 --> 01:01:12.500
you have ever played Team Fortress 2, fat, bald,

01:01:12.619 --> 01:01:15.820
fatty, fat, fat, fat is, I believe, the best

01:01:15.820 --> 01:01:19.460
way to discuss Mr. Grice. Thank you. Without

01:01:19.460 --> 01:01:28.300
the culture of the ogres to make it almost majestic,

01:01:28.519 --> 01:01:31.800
he's just fat. He is standing up challenged.

01:01:32.809 --> 01:01:39.269
wow that's crazy to wait and uh but you know

01:01:39.269 --> 01:01:42.730
he's uh he's he is still this is one of the things

01:01:42.730 --> 01:01:45.730
kane does very much appreciate about his constantly

01:01:45.730 --> 01:01:47.670
getting thrown into danger is that he gets to

01:01:47.670 --> 01:01:51.829
meet the uh and mingle with the higher uh parts

01:01:51.829 --> 01:01:53.929
of imperial society he gets to go to all the

01:01:53.929 --> 01:01:56.650
governor balls have all the nice food the nicest

01:01:56.650 --> 01:01:59.989
drinks the finest of amasek all of that good

01:01:59.989 --> 01:02:03.989
high life stuff And, you know, as the attached

01:02:03.989 --> 01:02:06.309
commissar of the regiment, there's an expectation

01:02:06.309 --> 01:02:09.369
he'll show up, especially because with Kane's

01:02:09.369 --> 01:02:13.510
reputation, he's less brand new for looking nervous

01:02:13.510 --> 01:02:16.670
commissar and more the hero of the Imperium,

01:02:16.670 --> 01:02:19.389
the gallant Caiaphas Kane. So he makes himself

01:02:19.389 --> 01:02:25.329
known, gets around, talks to the governor. Again,

01:02:25.429 --> 01:02:27.349
notices the governor. He's kind of walking a

01:02:27.349 --> 01:02:28.849
bit weird, you know, moving around a little bit

01:02:28.849 --> 01:02:31.980
weird. As far as we're concerned at the moment,

01:02:32.099 --> 01:02:37.920
he's just a heavyset dude. He's just fat. It's

01:02:37.920 --> 01:02:43.420
just so big. Kane will fixate on physical aspects

01:02:43.420 --> 01:02:46.480
of people sometimes, and we are not done with

01:02:46.480 --> 01:02:52.380
that this episode. Don't worry. But he also meets

01:02:52.380 --> 01:02:55.969
the singer at the party. Again, it's a burial

01:02:55.969 --> 01:02:57.670
party. Of course, they're going to have some

01:02:57.670 --> 01:02:59.929
ambient music and the finest of singers available.

01:03:00.570 --> 01:03:03.710
Now, through Divas, I believe it was, Cain caught

01:03:03.710 --> 01:03:05.429
wind of the rumor that there's an Inquisitor

01:03:05.429 --> 01:03:07.829
on this planet doing something, which is naturally

01:03:07.829 --> 01:03:10.889
the talk of the party. And he approaches, he

01:03:10.889 --> 01:03:13.510
waltzes on up to this Inquisitor, and because

01:03:13.510 --> 01:03:18.449
Cain is also... Until quite a bit later... He

01:03:18.449 --> 01:03:23.039
thinks it's this hawkish man. oh you're right

01:03:23.039 --> 01:03:27.860
there was a yes there was a rogue trader uh there

01:03:27.860 --> 01:03:31.260
was a rogue trader above you know also here and

01:03:31.260 --> 01:03:37.760
kane wanders up to this uh to this to this woman

01:03:37.760 --> 01:03:40.280
to this singer jumped the gun a little bit but

01:03:40.280 --> 01:03:42.059
i'm sure if you've read the stories you know

01:03:42.059 --> 01:03:43.960
what happens we already know because in this

01:03:43.960 --> 01:03:50.239
book it says yeah Yeah. He begins hitting on

01:03:50.239 --> 01:03:51.960
her, just pulling all the stops and going, you

01:03:51.960 --> 01:03:54.159
know, ma 'am, I hear there's an Inquisitor. I'm

01:03:54.159 --> 01:03:57.500
a Commissar. I'm pretty important, too. I'm Caiaphas

01:03:57.500 --> 01:04:02.880
Cain. And going along with it, being, you know,

01:04:02.900 --> 01:04:05.920
ditzy little scene city girl, all that fun stuff,

01:04:06.119 --> 01:04:11.239
right? When suddenly the Tao delegation arrives

01:04:11.239 --> 01:04:15.780
as Cain's trying to put the moves. It's working,

01:04:15.840 --> 01:04:19.320
though. Tao. She is at least as far as you can

01:04:19.320 --> 01:04:22.420
tell. She seems to be enjoying his company. He's

01:04:22.420 --> 01:04:25.260
probably laying down a bit thick, but he's Caiaphas

01:04:25.260 --> 01:04:31.679
Kane. And unfortunately, as the Tau delegation

01:04:31.679 --> 01:04:36.920
is arriving, some shots go off and the head of

01:04:36.920 --> 01:04:41.980
the Tau delegation is no longer with us. Which

01:04:41.980 --> 01:04:46.579
is a bit of a diplomatic faux pas to have the

01:04:47.420 --> 01:04:49.639
ambassador of a foreign country gets shot at

01:04:49.639 --> 01:04:56.119
your party. And with that, Kane intervenes to

01:04:56.119 --> 01:05:00.079
keep things from getting any worse. It's bad

01:05:00.079 --> 01:05:02.699
now. He's going to keep the... He's trying to

01:05:02.699 --> 01:05:05.880
keep it from their head got shot to, oh, everyone's

01:05:05.880 --> 01:05:09.500
shot. Great. Which he does. It should be mentioned,

01:05:09.760 --> 01:05:13.349
immediately when the shot went off, The first

01:05:13.349 --> 01:05:16.429
person to react was Caiaphas Kane, who immediately

01:05:16.429 --> 01:05:23.389
dived behind a sofa. Call the man a coward. Do

01:05:23.389 --> 01:05:27.070
not call him unprepared. He heroically dove for

01:05:27.070 --> 01:05:30.449
cover, Hal. There is a difference. He was preparing

01:05:30.449 --> 01:05:34.409
to exchange fire. To an advantageous position,

01:05:34.670 --> 01:05:37.619
please. He was playing XCOM in his brain. He

01:05:37.619 --> 01:05:39.099
was like, where's the chest high wall? Everyone

01:05:39.099 --> 01:05:41.320
else is shot. And then he's just like, don't

01:05:41.320 --> 01:05:45.960
worry, everyone. I'm fine. I like to think it's

01:05:45.960 --> 01:05:48.780
like, you know, like aspect warriors move so

01:05:48.780 --> 01:05:51.599
fast, like the human eye can't track them. Cane

01:05:51.599 --> 01:05:54.980
diving for cover is probably faster than just

01:05:54.980 --> 01:05:58.860
basically teleporting. Just muscle memory at

01:05:58.860 --> 01:06:02.099
this point. You know, from there, there is, you

01:06:02.099 --> 01:06:03.900
know, intervention, you know, all that, you know.

01:06:04.670 --> 01:06:07.030
canes remember because at all moments appearances

01:06:07.030 --> 01:06:09.269
need to be upheld because if the hero of the

01:06:09.269 --> 01:06:13.449
imperium is seen cowering behind the sofa that's

01:06:13.449 --> 01:06:17.429
not a good look so intervent you know intervenes

01:06:17.429 --> 01:06:20.929
uh doesn't i'm not gonna say save the day because

01:06:20.929 --> 01:06:23.849
you know again the guy's dead uh and from there

01:06:23.849 --> 01:06:30.329
half the city is uh a little bit on fire and

01:06:30.329 --> 01:06:32.769
uh how would you like to take it from there yeah

01:06:32.769 --> 01:06:36.619
so for some reason, for the people at the ball,

01:06:36.719 --> 01:06:38.780
they don't really know why, but half the city

01:06:38.780 --> 01:06:41.059
guard, which are not the imperial guard parts,

01:06:41.260 --> 01:06:43.599
which they number quite a bit compared to the

01:06:43.599 --> 01:06:46.760
imperial regiments, they've just risen up and

01:06:46.760 --> 01:06:49.440
they think, oh, it's go time. We're attacking.

01:06:49.760 --> 01:06:53.260
But then, for some reason, it looks like coordinated

01:06:53.260 --> 01:06:56.460
and then there's a massive group heading towards

01:06:56.460 --> 01:07:00.110
the palace, which Kane thinks... That seems a

01:07:00.110 --> 01:07:03.510
bit suspicious. The timing's really quick. The

01:07:03.510 --> 01:07:05.630
Tau escorts, who one of them was waving a gun,

01:07:05.769 --> 01:07:08.710
and Kay managed to calm him down by telling him,

01:07:08.769 --> 01:07:10.710
like, this does not support the greater good.

01:07:10.889 --> 01:07:14.230
He's like, you know, haha, I know your own argument.

01:07:14.329 --> 01:07:18.190
Well, Kay is a pretty educated guy. He knows

01:07:18.190 --> 01:07:20.829
how to talk to damn near anyone. I am the Reddit

01:07:20.829 --> 01:07:25.599
mod. But he basically, he says... okay, we'll

01:07:25.599 --> 01:07:28.059
find a way around this, because the palace guard,

01:07:28.199 --> 01:07:31.360
like, the Tau don't trust anybody, except they're

01:07:31.360 --> 01:07:32.900
like, well, we'll trust that guy, Cain, because

01:07:32.900 --> 01:07:35.699
he seems alright and he's friendly. And so Cain,

01:07:35.719 --> 01:07:38.219
inadvertently now, has agreed to escort the Tau

01:07:38.219 --> 01:07:42.340
ambassadors back to the Tau lines. And he's like,

01:07:42.400 --> 01:07:46.059
oh, crap. The city guard now are attacking the

01:07:46.059 --> 01:07:49.300
palace, but they're a massive roadblock. It should

01:07:49.300 --> 01:07:53.000
also be mentioned that he calls Jürgen. Jürgen

01:07:53.000 --> 01:07:55.719
was not allowed in the palace because Cain, quote,

01:07:55.840 --> 01:07:58.739
shuddered to think what Jürgen would do if he

01:07:58.739 --> 01:08:01.420
was there. But Jürgen was nearby and he called

01:08:01.420 --> 01:08:05.639
him up. Jürgen cannot drive a car safely if he

01:08:05.639 --> 01:08:10.420
tried. And he immediately rocks off. It's bad.

01:08:11.760 --> 01:08:14.300
One belated thing about Jürgen's character. He

01:08:14.300 --> 01:08:16.979
will get you where you need to be and the vehicle

01:08:16.979 --> 01:08:21.220
will be mostly intact. Anything else on the road?

01:08:23.840 --> 01:08:26.020
Jürgen's literally just like, hey guys, you ever

01:08:26.020 --> 01:08:28.640
played Crazy Taxi? I'll get you where you need

01:08:28.640 --> 01:08:32.420
to go, but I am driving over other cars to get

01:08:32.420 --> 01:08:36.439
there. Other cars, public parks, through buildings,

01:08:36.699 --> 01:08:38.640
you're going to get where you need to go in the

01:08:38.640 --> 01:08:41.260
quickest way possible, because a straight line

01:08:41.260 --> 01:08:43.840
is the most direct route, and Jürgen simply does

01:08:43.840 --> 01:08:46.960
not care if there are things in the way. yeah

01:08:46.960 --> 01:08:51.760
this is bad some some towel um escort um what's

01:08:51.760 --> 01:08:56.000
the uh piranhas is it not um was it eli that

01:08:56.000 --> 01:08:59.399
is a skimmer i think it's not yeah like they

01:08:59.399 --> 01:09:02.199
have some some like try and come in they get

01:09:02.199 --> 01:09:06.340
shot down and the tower like oh no uh so they

01:09:06.340 --> 01:09:07.739
realize they're gonna have to walk it on foot

01:09:07.739 --> 01:09:12.630
uh through the city uh the city guards are like

01:09:12.630 --> 01:09:14.470
you know they're battles happening kind of in

01:09:14.470 --> 01:09:16.310
certain pockets around the city they're trying

01:09:16.310 --> 01:09:19.270
to make a safe route through with like canes

01:09:19.270 --> 01:09:22.409
like small group and or like valhalla and the

01:09:22.409 --> 01:09:25.850
tower emissaries uh they get to a roadblock of

01:09:25.850 --> 01:09:27.909
the city guard he's like i'm a commissar let

01:09:27.909 --> 01:09:30.510
me through and colonel kasteen is there as well

01:09:30.510 --> 01:09:33.550
the city guard find out they have tower with

01:09:33.550 --> 01:09:37.350
them and they are they're like they say they

01:09:37.350 --> 01:09:41.369
say give us your blueys They drop the hard R

01:09:41.369 --> 01:09:44.989
on the blue. Give us the blue man group. This

01:09:44.989 --> 01:09:48.649
is the first time you see where Cain is like,

01:09:48.729 --> 01:09:50.569
it's a bit of a serious point in the book, and

01:09:50.569 --> 01:09:55.229
he feels really big regrets in this, and takes

01:09:55.229 --> 01:09:56.729
out his pistol, and they just start shooting,

01:09:56.949 --> 01:09:59.149
because they're in the way, and they disobeyed

01:09:59.149 --> 01:10:02.069
the Imperial order, even from higher ranks, so

01:10:02.069 --> 01:10:04.310
they had to kill the roadblock of the city guard,

01:10:04.529 --> 01:10:07.960
which I think Cain says later, like he... pictures

01:10:07.960 --> 01:10:10.140
the guy's face who like he was just a young guy

01:10:10.140 --> 01:10:12.539
like kind of following his orders even though

01:10:12.539 --> 01:10:14.340
he should have he wasn't really following orders

01:10:14.340 --> 01:10:17.420
but he should have he was just too stupid um

01:10:17.420 --> 01:10:20.239
the basically escort back to the tower lines

01:10:20.239 --> 01:10:22.880
kane takes one look at all the towel arsenal

01:10:22.880 --> 01:10:28.460
he's like oh god open conflict nah it's not for

01:10:28.460 --> 01:10:32.260
me you know it couldn't be me uh what's the range

01:10:32.260 --> 01:10:36.210
on that How much? He has said about the Tao,

01:10:36.210 --> 01:10:38.050
if there's one thing they know, it's how to put

01:10:38.050 --> 01:10:41.890
on a good war. Yeah, and they basically, they

01:10:41.890 --> 01:10:45.409
name Cain as like sort of a friend. They say

01:10:45.409 --> 01:10:47.010
like, you know, they have a respect for Cain.

01:10:47.210 --> 01:10:50.869
And then they sort of, they walk back in silence,

01:10:50.970 --> 01:10:53.029
they say in the book, because they're literally

01:10:53.029 --> 01:10:55.689
like, okay, we do not want an open conflict with

01:10:55.689 --> 01:10:58.010
the Tao. The Imperial regiments are kind of outside

01:10:58.010 --> 01:11:00.010
the city, so the Tao ones, but the city's like

01:11:00.010 --> 01:11:03.310
erupting and then they're trying to draw. They're

01:11:03.310 --> 01:11:05.649
trying to draw the Tau into open conflict with

01:11:05.649 --> 01:11:07.449
the Imperium, or at least it looks like that.

01:11:07.569 --> 01:11:09.829
But luckily, both sides have sort of stayed.

01:11:10.529 --> 01:11:14.050
They kept it back. Next, though, Colin will explain

01:11:14.050 --> 01:11:18.369
the attack plan for dealing with these insurgents

01:11:18.369 --> 01:11:23.770
slash rebels. So Cain meets with the Lord General,

01:11:23.949 --> 01:11:28.289
Zyvan. This Zyvan fella has caught wind of Cain,

01:11:28.369 --> 01:11:35.760
you know, his antics. And... Zyvan has kind of

01:11:35.760 --> 01:11:40.920
the same idea as Cain. I thought Andy was saying

01:11:40.920 --> 01:11:45.119
something. Whoops, I did a very witty pun. You

01:11:45.119 --> 01:11:47.500
said Corwin, and I said, that's because of Jurgen.

01:11:47.659 --> 01:11:56.760
But, um... Zyvan, Cain, he makes similar appearances

01:11:56.760 --> 01:12:00.369
later on. Cain likes Zyvan. He's also... A lot

01:12:00.369 --> 01:12:02.869
of the characters in the Kane books seem to be

01:12:02.869 --> 01:12:05.050
hoarding the galaxy's supply of common sense.

01:12:06.529 --> 01:12:10.529
Zyvan also doesn't want to immediately guns blazing

01:12:10.529 --> 01:12:13.850
against the Tau. He's getting ready for it. He

01:12:13.850 --> 01:12:15.810
also does not want this protracted conflict,

01:12:15.970 --> 01:12:19.710
especially as he calls it, over a mud ball like

01:12:19.710 --> 01:12:24.109
this planet Gravelax. It is in a lot of ways

01:12:24.109 --> 01:12:26.569
it's being defended more on principle than for

01:12:26.569 --> 01:12:29.890
major strategic reasons. Just, you know. No,

01:12:29.890 --> 01:12:31.789
that is our planet. You cannot just have it,

01:12:31.850 --> 01:12:38.390
Tau. So they come up with a bit of a plan. What

01:12:38.390 --> 01:12:43.930
they're going to do is essentially box in...

01:12:43.930 --> 01:12:50.829
The guard is going to be deployed to quarantine,

01:12:51.090 --> 01:12:54.470
contain, and neutralize these rebelling PDF forces

01:12:54.470 --> 01:12:57.529
and all the crowds rebelling. Not going to fight

01:12:57.529 --> 01:12:59.500
the Tau. They're trying to be as calm as they

01:12:59.500 --> 01:13:03.319
can about that. And they're just going to deal

01:13:03.319 --> 01:13:06.880
with the people outright rebelling. Meanwhile,

01:13:07.199 --> 01:13:12.800
it's known Kane is going to head the investigation

01:13:12.800 --> 01:13:18.520
and finding, hey, who shot the ambassador? So

01:13:18.520 --> 01:13:21.539
the Valhalla engaged some of the rebellious guard.

01:13:21.720 --> 01:13:24.960
While that is happening, that is because they're

01:13:24.960 --> 01:13:26.739
part of the guard forces present. That is their

01:13:26.739 --> 01:13:30.159
task. Sulla leading a glorious charge again.

01:13:30.340 --> 01:13:35.920
Indeed. Janet Sulla is on her way to think she's

01:13:35.920 --> 01:13:38.800
doing right by Cain. Create the casualty report

01:13:38.800 --> 01:13:41.739
of all casualty reports. All you hear is clop,

01:13:41.760 --> 01:13:45.539
clop, clop, clop, clop. Leave her alone. Stop.

01:13:46.859 --> 01:13:51.140
She's a nice lady. Just a bit delusional, it's

01:13:51.140 --> 01:13:54.039
fine. Well, so is everyone that is an Amberley

01:13:54.039 --> 01:14:00.380
Vale around Cain. Yeah, true. It's... Yeah, so

01:14:00.380 --> 01:14:03.479
while at one point, you know, Castine, the 597,

01:14:03.659 --> 01:14:05.899
they're going to get against a rebel stronghold.

01:14:07.899 --> 01:14:11.939
Cain finds himself a way to get out of the fighting

01:14:11.939 --> 01:14:16.979
by going to... a loyalist pdf unit and basically

01:14:16.979 --> 01:14:19.279
like hey get your shit together like it's it's

01:14:19.279 --> 01:14:22.340
a pdf unit that are they're slacking the back

01:14:22.340 --> 01:14:24.899
line which mean kane as a commissar of course

01:14:24.899 --> 01:14:27.680
he's got to go put the fear of the emperor in

01:14:27.680 --> 01:14:29.260
them he's got to go make sure they're ready to

01:14:29.260 --> 01:14:31.680
fight the fact they're in the back line by the

01:14:31.680 --> 01:14:33.220
time they get to the fighting that it will be

01:14:33.220 --> 01:14:37.539
over purely inconsequential that's just a coincidence

01:14:37.539 --> 01:14:39.439
he's a commissar he's got to do what he's got

01:14:39.439 --> 01:14:46.130
to do man come on Traffic. It took a while. It's

01:14:46.130 --> 01:14:51.989
not my fault. So he goes to this unit and in

01:14:51.989 --> 01:14:55.090
what will become a common theme for pretty much

01:14:55.090 --> 01:14:57.949
everything Kane ever does, what he thinks is

01:14:57.949 --> 01:15:02.149
the safer, less likely to die option is actually

01:15:02.149 --> 01:15:04.869
the much worse option that he could not have

01:15:04.869 --> 01:15:08.289
known was the worse option. He finds out that

01:15:08.289 --> 01:15:11.890
they're actually fighting off far larger rebel

01:15:11.890 --> 01:15:15.090
forces than the base the 597th was about to assault,

01:15:15.329 --> 01:15:18.949
and were told by the Inquisitor to keep guard

01:15:18.949 --> 01:15:22.789
while they look for something in the Undercity.

01:15:23.850 --> 01:15:26.649
So Kane has gone from, I'm going to go to the

01:15:26.649 --> 01:15:28.630
back of the line, and no one's going to see me,

01:15:28.689 --> 01:15:31.109
and it'll be nice and safe, to, oh, I'm in an

01:15:31.109 --> 01:15:34.949
Inquisitorial investigation now. This is fantastic.

01:15:35.270 --> 01:15:44.550
That's just what I wanted. I'm trying to figure

01:15:44.550 --> 01:15:47.329
out how to put this. He's a quick thinker, and

01:15:47.329 --> 01:15:50.789
it also helps that in the area Cain was at, the

01:15:50.789 --> 01:15:53.770
conspicuous red video game barrels happen to

01:15:53.770 --> 01:15:57.289
be present, filled with Prometheum. So he ignites

01:15:57.289 --> 01:15:59.850
those, brings the rebels' fortifications down

01:15:59.850 --> 01:16:02.949
on them, and then there is some desperate calls

01:16:02.949 --> 01:16:07.470
for the Vox from the Inquisitor, that we need

01:16:07.470 --> 01:16:10.689
help now, we need rescuing, things are not going

01:16:10.689 --> 01:16:13.189
well, this is a... We need some help down here,

01:16:13.289 --> 01:16:19.829
which is another of Kane's line of thoughts.

01:16:20.010 --> 01:16:22.489
Again, there's a lot of this book is like setting

01:16:22.489 --> 01:16:25.670
up what Kane's future character and like his

01:16:25.670 --> 01:16:30.750
thought processes will be. He analyzed the situation

01:16:30.750 --> 01:16:33.470
and thinks there are two options ahead of me.

01:16:34.010 --> 01:16:36.409
I've heard this call for inquisitorial rescue.

01:16:36.890 --> 01:16:39.529
I can either run into the burning building and

01:16:39.529 --> 01:16:44.430
try and save him. Or I cannot do that and have

01:16:44.430 --> 01:16:47.189
it be known that I chose to not save an Inquisitor

01:16:47.189 --> 01:16:51.670
when they called for help. Which is, in his mind,

01:16:51.750 --> 01:16:55.989
the longer -term chance... He'll face short -term

01:16:55.989 --> 01:17:01.569
danger for the long -term... Less danger, basically.

01:17:01.949 --> 01:17:07.430
Yeah. The reputation he has, as well as... Some

01:17:07.430 --> 01:17:09.189
more practical things later down the line as

01:17:09.189 --> 01:17:11.369
well are always at play in what Cain does. So

01:17:11.369 --> 01:17:17.710
with that, him and Jurgen go driving again. They

01:17:17.710 --> 01:17:23.050
take a chimera and find their way to extract

01:17:23.050 --> 01:17:26.329
the Inquisitor's party. And then at this moment,

01:17:26.430 --> 01:17:30.989
Cain realizes, wait a minute, that singer I was

01:17:30.989 --> 01:17:37.140
hitting on is the Inquisitor, Amberly Vale. Jesus

01:17:37.140 --> 01:17:40.779
Christ. Yeah, she laughs when he realises it's

01:17:40.779 --> 01:17:42.720
her because he thought it was the rogue trader

01:17:42.720 --> 01:17:44.880
and that's not a rogue trader. That's one of

01:17:44.880 --> 01:17:49.220
her entourage. The rogue trader was one of her

01:17:49.220 --> 01:17:52.039
recruited underlings and he was hitting on the

01:17:52.039 --> 01:17:54.840
Inquisitor trying to make himself seem cool by

01:17:54.840 --> 01:17:58.119
the way. He knew there was an Inquisitor. I just

01:17:58.119 --> 01:17:59.899
like the idea of all the Inquisitor's entourage

01:17:59.899 --> 01:18:01.539
standing nearby and they just kind of notice

01:18:01.539 --> 01:18:05.109
and go... This will be good. Let's see what he

01:18:05.109 --> 01:18:07.550
does. All giggling in the background. He doesn't

01:18:07.550 --> 01:18:16.229
know. It should also be noted that Sola handled

01:18:16.229 --> 01:18:19.270
the situation with the 597th. I want that known.

01:18:20.069 --> 01:18:22.789
There's also one other thing as well. There's

01:18:22.789 --> 01:18:25.569
another member of the entourage that appears.

01:18:25.829 --> 01:18:29.470
Colin, would you? A certain psychically inclined.

01:18:31.770 --> 01:18:34.069
Oh, I mixed up the order and went that way. Of

01:18:34.069 --> 01:18:39.390
course. Amberly Vale has a... She's an inquisitor.

01:18:39.390 --> 01:18:41.810
She's got her entourage. One of them is a...

01:18:41.810 --> 01:18:44.770
She's got, you know, standard bodyguard guy.

01:18:45.050 --> 01:18:47.250
She's got... I believe he was an administrative

01:18:47.250 --> 01:18:50.130
clerk at one point who is so good at doing mental

01:18:50.130 --> 01:18:52.850
math in his head that him and Kane have gotten

01:18:52.850 --> 01:18:56.420
banned from casinos later on. Because they will

01:18:56.420 --> 01:19:00.220
go in and clear house. He could be a mechanic

01:19:00.220 --> 01:19:03.560
and priest. He could be. Just the idea of reams

01:19:03.560 --> 01:19:06.800
of parchment and a quill. That guy's card counting

01:19:06.800 --> 01:19:08.420
is like, why do you think that? And it's just

01:19:08.420 --> 01:19:11.399
like, ace, heart, da -da -da, da -da -da. Oh,

01:19:11.500 --> 01:19:12.960
it's because, yeah, he's automatically just...

01:19:12.960 --> 01:19:15.819
It's because I'm looking at him do it. Like,

01:19:15.840 --> 01:19:18.199
just there with the parchment, like, look, he's

01:19:18.199 --> 01:19:21.829
obviously card counting. And of course. The most

01:19:21.829 --> 01:19:24.289
important member of her party, short of Amberly

01:19:24.289 --> 01:19:28.329
Vale, is the Psyker Rakel. R -A -K -E -L. I'm

01:19:28.329 --> 01:19:31.529
assuming that's future Imperium -ified Rachel.

01:19:33.170 --> 01:19:38.729
Every time she shows up, you will not hear Kane

01:19:38.729 --> 01:19:43.430
fail to mention the size of her tits. Every single

01:19:43.430 --> 01:19:48.890
time she makes an appearance. It's like the Kane's

01:19:48.890 --> 01:19:59.229
eyes just... To the point that if you forget

01:19:59.229 --> 01:20:01.670
she's a psyker, I wouldn't blame you because

01:20:01.670 --> 01:20:03.829
Kane doesn't seem to remember anything about

01:20:03.829 --> 01:20:12.930
her. Every time. More pressing to the plot, beyond

01:20:12.930 --> 01:20:16.310
that, the breasts boobing boobily. The claw.

01:20:17.069 --> 01:20:23.829
Her hands. Once the psyker gets close to Cain

01:20:23.829 --> 01:20:27.529
and Jurgen, just starts screaming and having

01:20:27.529 --> 01:20:34.189
a seizure. Like, violently spasming, and Cain's

01:20:34.189 --> 01:20:36.550
like, well, that's not right. What the hell's

01:20:36.550 --> 01:20:40.810
going on there? Amberly Vale. Much quicker connects

01:20:40.810 --> 01:20:43.010
the dots, but that will come a little bit later

01:20:43.010 --> 01:20:49.909
as to why exactly the boob lady is having a fit.

01:20:51.470 --> 01:20:53.989
Next, what happens in the story, though, is that

01:20:53.989 --> 01:20:56.729
they arrive back to sort of head command back

01:20:56.729 --> 01:21:00.170
to General Zyvan's tent. And then Cain immediately

01:21:00.170 --> 01:21:05.109
runs off to go to the bar. And this is like even

01:21:05.109 --> 01:21:08.130
says like. it's happening like some serving girl

01:21:08.130 --> 01:21:10.270
is like hitting on him like getting him drinks

01:21:10.270 --> 01:21:12.350
and then ambly veil turns up and the woman go

01:21:12.350 --> 01:21:14.649
like oh god you know like obviously she can't

01:21:14.649 --> 01:21:17.710
compete with ambly and they get a drink in the

01:21:17.710 --> 01:21:21.329
bar and it's kind of because they're having a

01:21:21.329 --> 01:21:24.109
conversation in a way in which like kane is not

01:21:24.109 --> 01:21:26.689
really himself because he knows 100 ambly can

01:21:26.689 --> 01:21:29.649
like see right through him and like kind of knows

01:21:29.649 --> 01:21:33.789
he's really like he's not a hero he's not brave

01:21:33.789 --> 01:21:38.569
really he's kind of a fraud um but in a way where

01:21:38.569 --> 01:21:40.470
like she's kind of like okay with it because

01:21:40.470 --> 01:21:43.250
she sort of says in in a way that you're pretending

01:21:43.250 --> 01:21:45.590
not to be a fraud you kind of are the real hero

01:21:45.590 --> 01:21:48.909
sort of thing as in you know trying not to look

01:21:48.909 --> 01:21:51.250
like a coward is in a way in a weird way like

01:21:51.250 --> 01:21:54.949
being brave um so but then she says but i'm gonna

01:21:54.949 --> 01:21:57.050
need your help to continue with this assassination

01:21:57.050 --> 01:21:58.909
investigation because obviously something is

01:21:58.909 --> 01:22:02.630
clearly going awry with gravelaxe because they

01:22:02.630 --> 01:22:05.560
don't understand why this traitorous pdf is trying

01:22:05.560 --> 01:22:07.340
to draw them into a conflict because it turns

01:22:07.340 --> 01:22:10.380
like the wider imperium consequences don't make

01:22:10.380 --> 01:22:13.939
sense to them yet so they go or bambly says to

01:22:13.939 --> 01:22:18.039
him the inquisitor chooses you you know i mean

01:22:18.039 --> 01:22:21.239
they're a terrible pokemon thing uh for a suicide

01:22:21.239 --> 01:22:24.119
mission because all of her entourage are wounded

01:22:24.119 --> 01:22:27.039
and they're injured she can't go back into the

01:22:27.039 --> 01:22:30.699
undercity So she needs a crack team to go on

01:22:30.699 --> 01:22:33.380
a suicide mission and they're willing to possibly

01:22:33.380 --> 01:22:38.420
not return. And you never guess who... And he

01:22:38.420 --> 01:22:41.640
says, maybe I could put together a team. She

01:22:41.640 --> 01:22:43.359
says, oh, I've looked at your records. You've

01:22:43.359 --> 01:22:47.340
already got one. And then Kane goes, oh, no.

01:22:48.220 --> 01:22:50.600
The psychopath is back, ladies and gentlemen.

01:22:51.869 --> 01:22:55.350
the five the five instigators of like the mess

01:22:55.350 --> 01:22:58.909
hall murders i get dragged out and they're told

01:22:58.909 --> 01:23:00.850
they're gonna be offered this suicide mission

01:23:00.850 --> 01:23:04.130
and if they come back they're basically off they're

01:23:04.130 --> 01:23:07.390
off the hook they're fine um some of them even

01:23:07.390 --> 01:23:10.130
like i think sorrel the sniper guy he's there

01:23:10.130 --> 01:23:12.869
and again kane is like but this guy's like he's

01:23:12.869 --> 01:23:15.920
kind of cool he's not like a complete like idiot

01:23:15.920 --> 01:23:17.779
but he does ask the question like what if i just

01:23:17.779 --> 01:23:21.119
killed you to an inquisitor and ambly says i

01:23:21.119 --> 01:23:23.800
mean you could try but eventually the inquisition

01:23:23.800 --> 01:23:26.600
or you know the inquisitors always pay their

01:23:26.600 --> 01:23:30.739
debts so eventually he's like yeah that doesn't

01:23:30.739 --> 01:23:32.659
like sorrel's willing to make the smart decision

01:23:32.659 --> 01:23:35.159
the other ones are some of the bit disgruntled

01:23:35.159 --> 01:23:37.199
about this mission but most of them are like

01:23:37.199 --> 01:23:40.420
cool they get given um really good gear and this

01:23:40.420 --> 01:23:45.489
is where mr jurgen gets his melter gets his iconic

01:23:45.489 --> 01:23:49.029
melter and... Does he give his melter a name?

01:23:49.310 --> 01:23:52.010
He doesn't give it, like, a special name. No,

01:23:52.069 --> 01:23:53.649
no, it's probably just called West Country or

01:23:53.649 --> 01:23:57.109
something. Or, like, it's just called Diplomacy.

01:23:58.390 --> 01:24:02.130
But they basically go, it's time to go back into

01:24:02.130 --> 01:24:05.069
the Undercity. And then, the reason you're probably

01:24:05.069 --> 01:24:06.890
wondering why... I don't want to do that. It's

01:24:06.890 --> 01:24:10.069
like, why is Cain chosen? Cain has grew up in,

01:24:10.149 --> 01:24:13.039
you know, a hive, so he kind of has... special.

01:24:13.699 --> 01:24:16.380
He's comfortable and he's good in that terrain.

01:24:16.760 --> 01:24:20.739
Almost supernatural ability to find his way through

01:24:20.739 --> 01:24:25.199
tunnels. He knows how far he is from the surface.

01:24:25.539 --> 01:24:29.340
He has a sense of how deep they are on the Earth.

01:24:29.520 --> 01:24:32.359
Hey dude, you grew up in a shithole. Surely all

01:24:32.359 --> 01:24:36.819
of them are alike. Yeah, pretty much. but um

01:24:36.819 --> 01:24:39.479
be the best lethal company player on the planet

01:24:39.479 --> 01:24:43.159
they essentially they're like we're gonna go

01:24:43.159 --> 01:24:45.939
find out you know because the pdf thing something

01:24:45.939 --> 01:24:48.159
leads them back down there so they go delving

01:24:48.159 --> 01:24:50.840
into the tunnels it gets deeper and deeper and

01:24:50.840 --> 01:24:53.659
deeper until they get fired upon they find some

01:24:53.659 --> 01:24:56.579
like corpses like plaza bolts are firing near

01:24:56.579 --> 01:25:00.539
them and they realize like oh shit it's the tower

01:25:00.539 --> 01:25:02.659
put the tower down here why the tower down here

01:25:03.289 --> 01:25:05.710
And Amberley stands up and she shouts something

01:25:05.710 --> 01:25:09.789
in Tau and it stops. And they find out, well,

01:25:09.829 --> 01:25:12.189
first of all, Sorrel the sniper manages to shoot

01:25:12.189 --> 01:25:15.569
and this bird -like noise goes off. So they realize

01:25:15.569 --> 01:25:17.930
it was Tau. And it's like, oh, he killed a crew.

01:25:19.569 --> 01:25:23.369
The Tau and Kane's team, they have a little conversation

01:25:23.369 --> 01:25:25.270
because they're like, clearly we're both looking

01:25:25.270 --> 01:25:27.810
for the same thing down here. The crew even say

01:25:27.810 --> 01:25:29.789
to Sorrel, like, you know, nice shot. And he,

01:25:29.909 --> 01:25:32.510
for the first time, shows a positive emotion.

01:25:33.300 --> 01:25:36.000
And he's like, thank you. Well, isn't he? He

01:25:36.000 --> 01:25:41.399
just smiles, I think. And they agree to team

01:25:41.399 --> 01:25:46.060
up here. And they go deeper and deeper into the

01:25:46.060 --> 01:25:48.020
tunnels. They're finding corpses that are like

01:25:48.020 --> 01:25:52.039
the Kroot eat corpses, obviously. And then every

01:25:52.039 --> 01:25:54.279
one of them is weirded out by that. But the Kroot

01:25:54.279 --> 01:25:55.859
spit them out and say something's wrong with

01:25:55.859 --> 01:25:58.199
them. It's like the genes of something are wrong.

01:25:58.939 --> 01:26:01.100
Eventually, they get further into this massive

01:26:01.100 --> 01:26:06.789
hold. and then they see gene stealers yeah and

01:26:06.789 --> 01:26:09.250
then that's where ambly is like oh this just

01:26:09.250 --> 01:26:11.689
like this is this the whole situation is like

01:26:11.689 --> 01:26:14.630
completely changed on his head i think we have

01:26:14.630 --> 01:26:16.590
a few more donors before but by the way before

01:26:16.590 --> 01:26:19.989
we get to the um next stage there's a few in

01:26:19.989 --> 01:26:23.890
there just wanted that morning star again i'll

01:26:23.890 --> 01:26:27.460
get this one for now Colin, I want you to clear

01:26:27.460 --> 01:26:31.199
the record. Are you NTRing Teclis for Cetra?

01:26:31.279 --> 01:26:33.880
I'm not answering this. Are you going for the

01:26:33.880 --> 01:26:39.479
Bonefather instead of Elf Husband Teclis? Bro,

01:26:40.340 --> 01:26:42.300
we need more drawing. Shout out to the Discord

01:26:42.300 --> 01:26:45.380
for people who did the drawing. Excuse me, young

01:26:45.380 --> 01:26:47.920
men. I don't understand this acronym. What does

01:26:47.920 --> 01:26:51.079
it mean? Or should we better not say it? Look

01:26:51.079 --> 01:26:56.210
it up. I'm not answering that. Okay. Who wants

01:26:56.210 --> 01:26:59.949
this one? From John Apocalypse. You're getting

01:26:59.949 --> 01:27:06.590
best character in 40k. Potentially. My boy. Hankery

01:27:06.590 --> 01:27:10.090
is the silliest clown. Wow, that's a crazy name.

01:27:10.109 --> 01:27:14.310
Thank you. Call him the type of guy to make an

01:27:14.310 --> 01:27:17.329
audible cha -ching with dollar sign eyes before

01:27:17.329 --> 01:27:20.250
putting out a video titled... every Warhammer

01:27:20.250 --> 01:27:23.289
fantasy races taxation system. I mean, that legit

01:27:23.289 --> 01:27:30.390
could be a video. Good lord. The bucket lord

01:27:30.390 --> 01:27:32.810
for 20 bucks. Thank you guys so much. Thank you.

01:27:33.789 --> 01:27:36.550
Glad I finally got to catch you beautiful lads

01:27:36.550 --> 01:27:39.350
live. Thank you, man. Also, the diabetes man

01:27:39.350 --> 01:27:41.649
is right. Dark Souls 2 is objectively the best.

01:27:41.810 --> 01:27:46.250
Huge, huge, huge. I have shifted. Kill Drednaw.

01:27:47.310 --> 01:27:49.050
It's better than 3, but it's still not as good

01:27:49.050 --> 01:27:52.670
as 1. Let's just call it that. Kill Andy? No,

01:27:52.689 --> 01:27:56.210
I replayed both. And I was like, yeah, 3 is not

01:27:56.210 --> 01:27:58.350
as good as 2. Sorry. It's because 3 is like,

01:27:58.489 --> 01:28:00.850
hey guys, did you like Dark Souls 1? Look, Wendell

01:28:00.850 --> 01:28:03.590
in his bag. But also, it's not as satisfying

01:28:03.590 --> 01:28:05.210
as some of the bosses, some of the areas. I'm

01:28:05.210 --> 01:28:10.069
like, yeah. That's a 10 out of 10. I hate Darky,

01:28:10.069 --> 01:28:13.789
my dear. Thank you for the $10. Thank you very

01:28:13.789 --> 01:28:16.390
much. How do I know when you all stream? Need

01:28:16.390 --> 01:28:19.289
more links. Usually every Thursday or Friday

01:28:19.289 --> 01:28:22.609
around that time. But yeah, we tend to only do

01:28:22.609 --> 01:28:25.890
a Thursday if one of us is busy occasionally,

01:28:26.069 --> 01:28:29.770
but it depends. So I'm nine o 'clock GMT ish

01:28:29.770 --> 01:28:32.729
between nine or 10 o 'clock GMT time. That helps.

01:28:32.770 --> 01:28:34.789
And then you join the discord. Yeah. We'll take

01:28:34.789 --> 01:28:37.050
people when we take everyone when we stream.

01:28:38.919 --> 01:28:45.260
Bean. Five bucks bean. On everybody's soul. Yes,

01:28:45.840 --> 01:28:48.579
the soul of every man, woman, child. We need

01:28:48.579 --> 01:28:52.319
a Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen. What

01:28:52.319 --> 01:28:54.979
the heck? What kind of story? The best movie

01:28:54.979 --> 01:28:59.359
of all time. Hang on. Colin's never seen any

01:28:59.359 --> 01:29:00.859
movies, but you've seen Transformers. He likes

01:29:00.859 --> 01:29:05.250
Transformers 2. Transformers 1. I've not seen

01:29:05.250 --> 01:29:08.310
any. Transformers 1, you know, the word one,

01:29:08.369 --> 01:29:16.029
amazing movie. Transformers 2 is certainly a

01:29:16.029 --> 01:29:20.069
Michael Bay film. Oh my gosh. Transformers 1

01:29:20.069 --> 01:29:24.270
is good, but Transformers 1 is not good. But

01:29:24.270 --> 01:29:26.909
speaking of, so they've appeared in this tunnel

01:29:26.909 --> 01:29:30.899
and, boy. I'm not doing it justice because they

01:29:30.899 --> 01:29:34.100
are generally all pretty terrified. It's extremely

01:29:34.100 --> 01:29:37.420
dark and they're like, that thing's got more

01:29:37.420 --> 01:29:41.039
than two arms. Oh, they're really like Amberley

01:29:41.039 --> 01:29:45.180
and Kane clocks. Because he's seen this before

01:29:45.180 --> 01:29:47.420
and he's like, oh, these are genie sealers. And

01:29:47.420 --> 01:29:52.439
he's like, oh God, oh God. And once he's now

01:29:52.439 --> 01:29:55.899
spotted them, Colin will then tell you basically

01:29:55.899 --> 01:30:01.119
what happened next. So, one of the fine folk

01:30:01.119 --> 01:30:04.199
that Kane has come along with, because, again,

01:30:04.260 --> 01:30:07.100
this is those five people who were given the

01:30:07.100 --> 01:30:09.579
choice of suicide mission or penal legion, so

01:30:09.579 --> 01:30:14.399
delayed suicide mission, essentially, decides,

01:30:14.659 --> 01:30:20.579
well, fuck this. And with that, the fight just

01:30:20.579 --> 01:30:25.069
begins breaking out. I pretty much... most of

01:30:25.069 --> 01:30:27.670
the party they came in with is wiped out. The

01:30:27.670 --> 01:30:33.310
Kroot are also, again, not going to be... It's

01:30:33.310 --> 01:30:38.550
their fault. Yeah, the Kroot... Is it... Basically

01:30:38.550 --> 01:30:41.750
that scene from Monty Python where they attack

01:30:41.750 --> 01:30:43.550
the rabbit and they're just like, get him, and

01:30:43.550 --> 01:30:44.770
then the rabbit starts and he's like, run away,

01:30:45.229 --> 01:30:49.229
run away. It's much more like there were a thousand

01:30:49.229 --> 01:30:52.829
rabbits. It's the Kroot's fault, though. Yeah,

01:30:52.829 --> 01:30:57.250
he... They saw the gene stealers were doing gene

01:30:57.250 --> 01:30:59.130
stealer things with crude flesh. They're like,

01:30:59.210 --> 01:31:01.909
that's outrageous. You can't have our DNA. That's

01:31:01.909 --> 01:31:05.430
ours. We steal DNA, not you. That's my thing.

01:31:05.470 --> 01:31:10.189
Stop it. So they began opening fire to which

01:31:10.189 --> 01:31:12.729
every gene stealer tunnel went, well, hello there.

01:31:12.810 --> 01:31:18.340
How are you doing? And swarmed them. Again, the

01:31:18.340 --> 01:31:20.300
last thing Kane sees of that one crew, by the

01:31:20.300 --> 01:31:21.680
way, you know, the one that saved him was him

01:31:21.680 --> 01:31:24.260
getting ripped into pieces by pure, strange gene

01:31:24.260 --> 01:31:29.840
stealers. So, rest in peace, that guy. The party,

01:31:30.000 --> 01:31:36.060
eventually, it is just, like, Kane is, you know,

01:31:36.060 --> 01:31:38.380
they start chasing. Kane gets isolated from the

01:31:38.380 --> 01:31:42.239
rest of them, which is the real Juergen, basically,

01:31:42.239 --> 01:31:46.489
by this point, for who's not dead. No, most of

01:31:46.489 --> 01:31:48.949
them are all still alive. Well, yeah, aside from

01:31:48.949 --> 01:31:52.909
the poor crew. But then they just book it. Everyone's

01:31:52.909 --> 01:31:55.329
running in panic. I think Sorrel shot a sniper

01:31:55.329 --> 01:31:57.670
round and they exploded a Promethean barrel.

01:31:57.930 --> 01:32:01.090
Yeah, and then there was a bit of a tunnel collapse

01:32:01.090 --> 01:32:06.909
and Kane is on his own. Yeesh. And then he's

01:32:06.909 --> 01:32:10.930
isolated. Comes across the guy who said, screw

01:32:10.930 --> 01:32:15.470
this. And, you know, the traitor who was... certainly

01:32:15.470 --> 01:32:18.649
not working in the party's best interest. And

01:32:18.649 --> 01:32:22.310
even though isolated, he's on his own. Cain's

01:32:22.310 --> 01:32:27.170
able to... Cain kills the one traitor. He is

01:32:27.170 --> 01:32:31.510
still, regardless of his cowardice and no small

01:32:31.510 --> 01:32:33.329
amount of self -interest, he is still a very

01:32:33.329 --> 01:32:36.989
capable warrior. And it manages to kill the traitor.

01:32:37.409 --> 01:32:43.550
Once again... Luckily, Jürgen... finish of the

01:32:43.550 --> 01:32:46.029
job, because the rest of the team arrives, and

01:32:46.029 --> 01:32:50.510
then Jurgen proceeds to turn in with the melter

01:32:50.510 --> 01:32:54.609
guns. There was a traitor, and then there was

01:32:54.609 --> 01:32:58.310
no longer a traitor. The Among Us sound disappeared.

01:32:58.750 --> 01:33:00.770
There was a traitor -shaped silhouette for a

01:33:00.770 --> 01:33:04.930
flash, and then it was gone. Jesus, melter of

01:33:04.930 --> 01:33:10.850
a single human being. Overkill. He finds Amberly

01:33:10.850 --> 01:33:15.300
again, and they... He and her start arguing about

01:33:15.300 --> 01:33:18.600
how to get back to the surface. And Kane in his

01:33:18.600 --> 01:33:20.380
mind is like, we're like two fucking high schoolers

01:33:20.380 --> 01:33:23.800
going at it. This is so stupid. But this is one

01:33:23.800 --> 01:33:26.920
of the only areas of expertise Kane would have

01:33:26.920 --> 01:33:28.779
over an Inquisitor like her. So he's like, no,

01:33:28.840 --> 01:33:33.420
we're going this way. God damn it. Which they

01:33:33.420 --> 01:33:37.720
go that way and find... As they find the exit,

01:33:37.819 --> 01:33:41.449
they find out that... Oh, that's... That goes

01:33:41.449 --> 01:33:43.729
right under the governor's palace, which is not

01:33:43.729 --> 01:33:48.149
particularly surprising to either of them. If

01:33:48.149 --> 01:33:49.869
there's been gene stealers this long, that would

01:33:49.869 --> 01:33:52.890
naturally be a target of interest for gene stealers

01:33:52.890 --> 01:33:56.050
when they, you know, the uprising happens. I

01:33:56.050 --> 01:33:57.989
just like the idea of that. Like, just be straight

01:33:57.989 --> 01:34:00.109
with me. Have you seen any of the governor's

01:34:00.109 --> 01:34:02.989
entourage wearing hats recently? Like out of

01:34:02.989 --> 01:34:05.189
the blue, just like we're wearing hats now. This

01:34:05.189 --> 01:34:06.989
is what we do with our style because that's a

01:34:06.989 --> 01:34:09.909
bad sign. It should be mentioned the palace guard.

01:34:10.329 --> 01:34:14.350
all of their weapons were ornamental. Oh, yeah,

01:34:14.390 --> 01:34:17.409
that's right. Yeah, it was a terrible choice.

01:34:17.710 --> 01:34:21.010
Which mentioned, at this point, a lot of the

01:34:21.010 --> 01:34:24.369
group, they got attacked by a genie again, and

01:34:24.369 --> 01:34:27.789
they got separated. Amberley has a teleport homer

01:34:27.789 --> 01:34:31.609
thing. If she's about to get killed, it teleports

01:34:31.609 --> 01:34:33.689
her a few feet away. Yeah, a displacer field,

01:34:33.850 --> 01:34:38.619
if I remember right. It teleports her in... Kane,

01:34:38.659 --> 01:34:41.640
I think, a bit, and then the rest of the group,

01:34:41.680 --> 01:34:45.000
essentially, like, they get put on another side

01:34:45.000 --> 01:34:46.960
of, like, a tunnel, and they basically get separated

01:34:46.960 --> 01:34:50.899
from the group. Yeah. Which is, and then Paul

01:34:50.899 --> 01:34:53.140
Kane does think, like, Jürgen's dead at this

01:34:53.140 --> 01:34:55.199
point, and he's, like, been with him for a decade,

01:34:55.260 --> 01:34:59.600
so he's pretty grief -stricken. Him and Amberley,

01:34:59.699 --> 01:35:01.939
they seem to get on, like, they have a bit, like,

01:35:01.979 --> 01:35:04.119
they kind of, like... Eventually they laugh about

01:35:04.119 --> 01:35:06.340
how ridiculous the whole situation is and they

01:35:06.340 --> 01:35:09.180
actually have some good bonding time. It's like

01:35:09.180 --> 01:35:12.899
high schoolers having a fight. Yeah, it's nice.

01:35:12.939 --> 01:35:15.840
It's cute. And then they go up to Colin and say

01:35:15.840 --> 01:35:17.439
they're in the palace grounds. They're trying

01:35:17.439 --> 01:35:19.640
to sneak in. They're also like, why is there

01:35:19.640 --> 01:35:23.300
a direct tunnel to the palace? And then he says,

01:35:23.439 --> 01:35:25.680
oh, the palace guard are here. Oh, they're genie

01:35:25.680 --> 01:35:30.529
stealers. Oh, God. Yes. They take off their hats

01:35:30.529 --> 01:35:32.350
and show the ridges and they're like, I knew

01:35:32.350 --> 01:35:34.270
it. Look at my ridges. You never wear baseball

01:35:34.270 --> 01:35:38.930
caps. Man of tiny ridges. They start attacking

01:35:38.930 --> 01:35:42.430
the Genie Steelers and they notice something

01:35:42.430 --> 01:35:46.010
really, there's a really big one and it's intimidating

01:35:46.010 --> 01:35:49.729
as hell. And this is where like Kane and Amberley,

01:35:49.750 --> 01:35:52.369
they're like, fuck it, they're just charging.

01:35:53.100 --> 01:35:56.380
turns out jorgen and sorel they still alive they

01:35:56.380 --> 01:35:59.020
burst out the side chamber from jorgen's melter

01:35:59.020 --> 01:36:02.479
and we're back yeah and i just like the idea

01:36:02.479 --> 01:36:05.039
that they just went away when they entered like

01:36:05.039 --> 01:36:08.399
kane is literally like oh yeah you know like

01:36:08.399 --> 01:36:12.260
kane is like hell yeah and then um sorel is like

01:36:12.260 --> 01:36:15.319
on the top ropes literally sniping ones ambly's

01:36:15.319 --> 01:36:19.609
double pistolling it um The Patriarch starts

01:36:19.609 --> 01:36:22.810
coming for Kane. He starts dueling it with his

01:36:22.810 --> 01:36:27.930
chain sword or chain blade. Who the Patriarch

01:36:27.930 --> 01:36:31.970
is, by the way. There's more than one at this

01:36:31.970 --> 01:36:35.810
point. There'll be a new one after this. This

01:36:35.810 --> 01:36:39.609
Patriarch one is pretty... Kane cuts off one

01:36:39.609 --> 01:36:40.829
of his hands. It's a Gene Steeler Patriarch.

01:36:42.609 --> 01:36:46.649
He's like, I'm about to die. Then Jürgen is like...

01:36:46.840 --> 01:36:49.420
i'm coming comrades are like literally comes

01:36:49.420 --> 01:36:52.920
up behind and the patriarchs are staggering like

01:36:52.920 --> 01:36:55.500
he's been on a night out uh he's like holding

01:36:55.500 --> 01:36:58.180
his head it's like something's wrong and then

01:36:58.180 --> 01:37:01.500
kane is like oh and then jorgen proceeds to i'm

01:37:01.500 --> 01:37:04.579
not joking like point blank melted chest shot

01:37:04.579 --> 01:37:10.270
a patriarch Be real for that. Like a WWE throat

01:37:10.270 --> 01:37:14.329
tackle or spear. Or you, leave my husband alone.

01:37:14.670 --> 01:37:17.869
What did you say, Jürgen? Nothing, sir. It's

01:37:17.869 --> 01:37:23.869
fine. Jürgen simply does not care about backblast

01:37:23.869 --> 01:37:28.350
nor minimum safety ranges. Jürgen absolutely

01:37:28.350 --> 01:37:31.250
delivers. They kill the Geneseas here and they

01:37:31.250 --> 01:37:34.430
go up into the palace and they're thinking, Kane

01:37:34.430 --> 01:37:37.600
is like, starting to put it together. He's like,

01:37:37.720 --> 01:37:43.539
oh, maybe, you know, maybe there's a reason there's

01:37:43.539 --> 01:37:48.020
a tunnel up here. And then two shots fire out.

01:37:48.399 --> 01:37:50.939
Poor sniper Sorrel, who'd been a bit of a badass

01:37:50.939 --> 01:37:53.039
throughout most of the story, his head explodes.

01:37:53.880 --> 01:37:56.279
Jürgen takes a knock onto his helmet and knocks

01:37:56.279 --> 01:37:59.880
him out. Governor Grice... It was a bolt pistol

01:37:59.880 --> 01:38:01.739
round, if I remember correctly. He got shot in

01:38:01.739 --> 01:38:03.949
the head with a bolt pistol. Yeah. But he lived.

01:38:03.989 --> 01:38:07.270
It was fine. It was a hit helmet. The governor,

01:38:07.350 --> 01:38:10.829
Grice, reveals himself and he was the one who

01:38:10.829 --> 01:38:12.750
assassinated the tower ambassador because he

01:38:12.750 --> 01:38:16.109
has an extra hand. He has an extra arm and there

01:38:16.109 --> 01:38:19.810
is little fat thing hiding in the belly for you.

01:38:20.090 --> 01:38:24.210
Yeah, that's why I just like the idea of him

01:38:24.210 --> 01:38:27.649
slow clapping and then one other hand just flipping

01:38:27.649 --> 01:38:34.159
the bird like, oh, you have a clap. You foiled

01:38:34.159 --> 01:38:38.680
my plan. The fatty McBaddy, he is like, you know,

01:38:38.760 --> 01:38:40.699
like, you little bastards. And he just says,

01:38:40.760 --> 01:38:43.239
like, you know, there'll have to be a new patriarch,

01:38:43.579 --> 01:38:45.579
you know, because, you know, then they're going

01:38:45.579 --> 01:38:47.899
to bring the Imperium and Tower into conflict

01:38:47.899 --> 01:38:50.039
so that they're weak for when the next, you know,

01:38:50.079 --> 01:38:53.399
tyrannid invasion happens and then Genesee can

01:38:53.399 --> 01:38:56.960
call for, you know, the great sweep release of

01:38:56.960 --> 01:39:00.800
death. He shoots Amberley Vale. Because Cain

01:39:00.800 --> 01:39:02.840
doesn't, he's had his, like, pistol knocked out.

01:39:03.819 --> 01:39:08.779
Amberly Vale vanishes. But, no, she obviously,

01:39:08.859 --> 01:39:11.859
again, she displaces Field. She appears behind

01:39:11.859 --> 01:39:14.960
him, swoops down, grabs one of her, like, I don't

01:39:14.960 --> 01:39:18.819
know, and then aims, like, a ring, like, a needle

01:39:18.819 --> 01:39:21.640
ring, like, one of those small Inquisitor Ducaro

01:39:21.640 --> 01:39:25.000
weapons. And immediately, Grise, digital weapon,

01:39:25.119 --> 01:39:27.770
and then Grise, like, goes, like, ha, oh. As

01:39:27.770 --> 01:39:30.189
in, like, at the moment, and then his organs

01:39:30.189 --> 01:39:32.930
seem to liquefy within seconds inside of his

01:39:32.930 --> 01:39:37.289
guts. Yeah. Not good. The Valhalla's kick the

01:39:37.289 --> 01:39:40.069
door in, and they're like, oh, it's fine. It's

01:39:40.069 --> 01:39:43.310
Kane. It's Kane. And then Janet's sort of been

01:39:43.310 --> 01:39:45.289
delivering all the, you know, the badass and

01:39:45.289 --> 01:39:47.750
the wind. They've managed to... Hoorah! Hoorah.

01:39:48.069 --> 01:39:50.890
Then they bring out two of the survivors who

01:39:50.890 --> 01:39:56.420
are from the... The originals. The original group

01:39:56.420 --> 01:39:58.560
who went down into the tunnels, the ones who

01:39:58.560 --> 01:40:00.979
were part of the mess hall slash suicide squad.

01:40:01.640 --> 01:40:04.140
And they look, they brought two of the survivors,

01:40:04.239 --> 01:40:06.100
and these two actually had formed a relationship

01:40:06.100 --> 01:40:08.819
throughout the entire book. They became like,

01:40:08.880 --> 01:40:13.560
they're in love. But they seem a bit weird. Something's

01:40:13.560 --> 01:40:17.680
not right with them. Oddly unharmed for having

01:40:17.680 --> 01:40:21.239
been swarmed by an entire Genestealer cult. And

01:40:21.239 --> 01:40:24.590
then Cain looks at Amberley and Amberley kind

01:40:24.590 --> 01:40:27.529
of looks at Kane and then he shoots him on the

01:40:27.529 --> 01:40:32.010
spot. And the rest of the Valhalla's like, yeah,

01:40:32.090 --> 01:40:33.630
you were, you were the good one. You were the

01:40:33.630 --> 01:40:35.510
good commissar. What happened? Yeah. They're

01:40:35.510 --> 01:40:39.689
a bit like, like Castine. Castine is like, you

01:40:39.689 --> 01:40:43.510
know, what the hell? And then Kane goes up to

01:40:43.510 --> 01:40:45.729
them and it reveals like there's a small like

01:40:45.729 --> 01:40:48.800
cut, which is like a gene sealer kiss. So they

01:40:48.800 --> 01:40:51.819
were going to be future genie suitors. This one's

01:40:51.819 --> 01:40:55.779
got a hickey, guys. It's got a hickey. Kanan

01:40:55.779 --> 01:40:58.880
knew of it previously having fought Tyranids

01:40:58.880 --> 01:41:02.520
and obviously being a commissar more up to that

01:41:02.520 --> 01:41:04.859
info, which obviously a regular guard might not

01:41:04.859 --> 01:41:06.960
know about. But eventually the Valhalla's like,

01:41:07.100 --> 01:41:10.640
okay, okay. They weren't like standoffish, but

01:41:10.640 --> 01:41:12.260
they were literally like, huh? Because they didn't

01:41:12.260 --> 01:41:16.729
get it. But that kind of... ends like the tail

01:41:16.729 --> 01:41:19.550
and the tau themselves and the imperial elements

01:41:19.550 --> 01:41:21.989
are sort of not working together but they basically

01:41:21.989 --> 01:41:26.409
attack the uh the what is now obviously gene

01:41:26.409 --> 01:41:28.949
sealer pdf and so they start mopping them up

01:41:28.949 --> 01:41:33.609
um the tau literally in my notes here the tau

01:41:33.609 --> 01:41:35.609
fuck off because they literally say gravlax is

01:41:35.609 --> 01:41:40.229
not worth it yeah there is one little thing of

01:41:40.229 --> 01:41:44.069
note with the tau uh From, you know, along with,

01:41:44.069 --> 01:41:46.189
you know, the two guardsmen that Kane promptly

01:41:46.189 --> 01:41:51.250
just... The Tau also find two other Tau members

01:41:51.250 --> 01:41:54.470
of the Pathfinder team that are similarly miraculously

01:41:54.470 --> 01:41:59.470
unharmed, despite the... And Kane, like, he's

01:41:59.470 --> 01:42:02.729
worried, and he's almost like... At least the

01:42:02.729 --> 01:42:03.970
way it seemed to me, he's like, he's gonna go

01:42:03.970 --> 01:42:06.649
tell the Tau, like, hey, that ain't right. You

01:42:06.649 --> 01:42:09.029
might want to check those guys. Then Amberley

01:42:09.029 --> 01:42:10.609
pulls him aside and is like, no, no, no, no,

01:42:10.630 --> 01:42:12.399
we don't... We don't need to let them know about

01:42:12.399 --> 01:42:16.779
that. That can be there. It's Tau. It's fine.

01:42:17.439 --> 01:42:19.300
I mean, Eli, for what it's worth, it's the Tau.

01:42:19.340 --> 01:42:21.760
I'm sure they have some gene scanner. Perhaps.

01:42:22.739 --> 01:42:26.659
Their technology is amazing in the sense that

01:42:26.659 --> 01:42:29.680
it isn't shit. And then Ambly said, it's just

01:42:29.680 --> 01:42:32.140
a prank, bro. It's just a prank. And then, yeah.

01:42:32.979 --> 01:42:37.119
They do name him Tau Friend, though. Which is

01:42:37.119 --> 01:42:40.520
good. So they kind of win Gravelax in a way,

01:42:40.600 --> 01:42:44.220
but like, it wasn't to the scale of like a great

01:42:44.220 --> 01:42:47.140
imperial victory because it's still not open

01:42:47.140 --> 01:42:49.539
you know the damocles gulf is always in conflict

01:42:49.539 --> 01:42:52.880
at this point uh the kind of remain the main

01:42:52.880 --> 01:42:58.640
uh story is like wraps up here with amberley

01:42:58.640 --> 01:43:01.420
who meets with kane again in the bar and this

01:43:01.420 --> 01:43:05.140
is where she explains like why the you know the

01:43:05.140 --> 01:43:10.880
blessed inquisit like the best psyker um was

01:43:10.880 --> 01:43:15.359
uh um somewhat yelling when you know when jurgen

01:43:15.359 --> 01:43:19.359
was nearby why jurgen seems to smell really bad

01:43:19.359 --> 01:43:21.359
why like people when they're around him don't

01:43:21.359 --> 01:43:23.300
seem to really like him that much and that's

01:43:23.300 --> 01:43:24.859
like kane who's like kind of warmed up to him

01:43:24.859 --> 01:43:28.899
over time because jurgen is a blank he is a pariah

01:43:28.899 --> 01:43:34.550
around him the warp is anathema to him and Like

01:43:34.550 --> 01:43:36.590
with other things with people who are blanks,

01:43:36.590 --> 01:43:39.689
it can manifest in ways where it's like in the

01:43:39.689 --> 01:43:42.930
Eisenhorn stories, Beckwin, people just don't

01:43:42.930 --> 01:43:45.229
seem to really like her that much unless you

01:43:45.229 --> 01:43:49.090
get over the fact or if someone's a psycho and

01:43:49.090 --> 01:43:52.470
they touch another blank, they literally scream

01:43:52.470 --> 01:43:55.300
because it's being cut off from... you know like

01:43:55.300 --> 01:43:57.880
mummy and daddy's you know private trust fund

01:43:57.880 --> 01:44:00.079
or something like that your soul is being put

01:44:00.079 --> 01:44:02.500
in a straight jacket around a blank essentially

01:44:02.500 --> 01:44:06.220
yeah uh but jürgen although sometimes it can

01:44:06.220 --> 01:44:08.500
just be like oh that that guy has a really punchable

01:44:08.500 --> 01:44:10.640
face and say he hasn't done any things like yeah

01:44:10.640 --> 01:44:15.899
i know but like just don't like him maybe that's

01:44:15.899 --> 01:44:17.800
the explanation in real life you ever meet someone

01:44:17.800 --> 01:44:19.960
like there's no discernible reason you just don't

01:44:19.960 --> 01:44:27.350
fucking like the guy but Jürgen is essentially

01:44:27.350 --> 01:44:31.149
a blank and it somewhat is implied like much

01:44:31.149 --> 01:44:33.810
of Kane's luck over the years has been the fact

01:44:33.810 --> 01:44:37.770
like with the Patriot you know getting screaming

01:44:37.770 --> 01:44:40.270
when Jürgen's nearby like much of Kane's luck

01:44:40.270 --> 01:44:44.409
is from perhaps Jürgen being around him or like

01:44:44.409 --> 01:44:47.529
somewhat bubbling him in some way but Ambley

01:44:47.529 --> 01:44:51.350
says I'm not going to recruit him or take him

01:44:51.350 --> 01:44:55.260
away because a valuable asset like Jürgen, known

01:44:55.260 --> 01:44:59.260
as a blank, could stir up trouble in the Inquisition

01:44:59.260 --> 01:45:02.699
slash people may want to have thoughts on who

01:45:02.699 --> 01:45:04.359
Jürgen should belong to or things like that.

01:45:04.500 --> 01:45:08.000
So she's happy to leave Jürgen with Cain for

01:45:08.000 --> 01:45:14.539
now, but they both certainly will be at her whim

01:45:14.539 --> 01:45:19.050
whenever she decides it. And then... kane and

01:45:19.050 --> 01:45:23.069
uh ambly seem to have like a nice toast and then

01:45:23.069 --> 01:45:26.550
a beautiful friendship a beautiful friend you

01:45:26.550 --> 01:45:28.649
got a girlfriend you know you got a girlfriend

01:45:28.649 --> 01:45:34.609
not quite he has many girlfriends he's a slug

01:45:34.609 --> 01:45:38.470
let's just say you know the night didn't end

01:45:38.470 --> 01:45:41.489
with just the drinks let's just say that is it

01:45:41.489 --> 01:45:44.369
is implied the night didn't end but the book

01:45:44.369 --> 01:45:48.659
did yes uh you know not you know gene seal is

01:45:48.659 --> 01:45:51.579
a bit of tau and some guard got clapped but other

01:45:51.579 --> 01:45:53.720
things were clapped as well later uh let's just

01:45:53.720 --> 01:45:56.140
leave it at that though that's that's kind of

01:45:56.140 --> 01:45:59.079
the first keifer's cane book it's like pretty

01:45:59.079 --> 01:46:02.300
what the i was like they're all pretty much like

01:46:02.300 --> 01:46:06.000
an even level of like none of them are bad they're

01:46:06.000 --> 01:46:07.939
all just like just as good as each other in some

01:46:07.939 --> 01:46:10.899
way i'd say um but this one is a pretty good

01:46:10.899 --> 01:46:13.760
strong start to the uh kyphus kane obviously

01:46:13.760 --> 01:46:16.699
we didn't cover every detail um but that's a

01:46:16.699 --> 01:46:20.020
kind of the overview there's some uh funny moments

01:46:20.020 --> 01:46:22.720
again most of the really good stuff about the

01:46:22.720 --> 01:46:24.960
kane book is like it's written through kane's

01:46:24.960 --> 01:46:28.500
perspective so like we said like keen kane for

01:46:28.500 --> 01:46:31.140
genius he lives in his mind he's like oh god

01:46:31.140 --> 01:46:33.380
oh god oh god and then he's like amazing and

01:46:33.380 --> 01:46:36.140
he's like yeah i was like that was amazing people

01:46:36.140 --> 01:46:40.909
well done so he on the surface he looks like

01:46:40.909 --> 01:46:43.210
he's like in control and in his mind he's like

01:46:43.210 --> 01:46:45.789
i'm gonna put my head in the sand he never looks

01:46:45.789 --> 01:46:49.289
like he's afraid but he is always afraid and

01:46:49.289 --> 01:46:52.250
he's breaking it constantly i mean i i've not

01:46:52.250 --> 01:46:54.270
read any of the books yet but i'm looking forward

01:46:54.270 --> 01:46:56.529
to ones like there's one where he communicates

01:46:56.529 --> 01:46:59.529
with the iron snakes chapter i think and so it's

01:46:59.529 --> 01:47:02.979
like I like the prospect of how does Cain interact

01:47:02.979 --> 01:47:06.420
with this faction and this faction? There's one

01:47:06.420 --> 01:47:10.739
way he does follow with Astartes, that one. There's

01:47:10.739 --> 01:47:13.539
two, actually, where he follows Astartes in some

01:47:13.539 --> 01:47:18.819
capacity. But Cain is a pretty funny character.

01:47:19.300 --> 01:47:22.279
It's very enjoyable because much of the book,

01:47:22.479 --> 01:47:25.319
as in the audiobook listeners or the ones who

01:47:25.319 --> 01:47:28.859
read it, it switches from Kane's memoirs to,

01:47:28.859 --> 01:47:31.659
you know, him being an unreliable narrator to

01:47:31.659 --> 01:47:34.520
Amberley correcting the record slash adding in

01:47:34.520 --> 01:47:37.739
some little quips to, you know, some general

01:47:37.739 --> 01:47:40.460
world building things from other areas. And then

01:47:40.460 --> 01:47:44.300
Janet Sulla's immensely overflowered Baroque

01:47:44.300 --> 01:47:46.939
language of like, we went to charge and my breasts

01:47:46.939 --> 01:47:48.859
fluttered with pain. You know, it's like she

01:47:48.859 --> 01:47:51.859
talks like that the entire time. And it's very

01:47:51.859 --> 01:47:54.239
hilarious. She is a treasure. Leave her alone.

01:47:54.439 --> 01:47:58.279
God damn it. Completely delusional. Lady General.

01:47:58.840 --> 01:48:04.079
The second highest post in the Imperial guard.

01:48:04.300 --> 01:48:06.579
And the only one above that is one they don't

01:48:06.579 --> 01:48:10.220
use anymore. That's kind of the first book though.

01:48:10.319 --> 01:48:11.779
I hope you guys, I mean, what do you guys think

01:48:11.779 --> 01:48:16.319
Colin or Colin, Andy, Andy, what do you think?

01:48:17.739 --> 01:48:20.590
I mean, all I will say is I, I'm really looking

01:48:20.590 --> 01:48:22.409
forward to getting to the Caiaphas Cain books,

01:48:22.529 --> 01:48:24.329
but because I'm going to do a video probably

01:48:24.329 --> 01:48:27.170
next year, I've got to get through like 16 books.

01:48:27.550 --> 01:48:31.810
That's a lot of books. So I'm looking forward

01:48:31.810 --> 01:48:37.310
to it, but I'm also daunted by it. Two minor

01:48:37.310 --> 01:48:39.329
fun facts about the Valhalla ones to end off

01:48:39.329 --> 01:48:43.109
on. They're the most well -supplied regiment

01:48:43.109 --> 01:48:48.220
in the entire Imperial Guard. Mutastorum screw

01:48:48.220 --> 01:48:49.939
-ups means that as far as they're concerned,

01:48:50.119 --> 01:48:53.779
it is still two regiments, not one. So they get

01:48:53.779 --> 01:48:56.659
like double the everything supplied to them,

01:48:56.720 --> 01:48:59.819
which is good because they're stereotypes of

01:48:59.819 --> 01:49:04.159
like Soviet Russian tactics. Forward, men. They'll

01:49:04.159 --> 01:49:09.159
run out of bullets eventually. And Kane was so

01:49:09.159 --> 01:49:12.399
good at mediating them that his biggest issue

01:49:12.399 --> 01:49:14.960
went from they're killing each other. I have

01:49:14.960 --> 01:49:18.420
to stop this too. were on campaign, stop getting

01:49:18.420 --> 01:49:23.819
each other pregnant. I know the Imperial War

01:49:23.819 --> 01:49:26.560
effort is good and all that, but like, I don't

01:49:26.560 --> 01:49:28.619
have enough nappies for all these babies you

01:49:28.619 --> 01:49:31.060
are producing. Stop it. They're too young to

01:49:31.060 --> 01:49:33.500
hold a rifle. He will sometimes be a babysitter

01:49:33.500 --> 01:49:36.539
for them. Which means there is a non -zero amount

01:49:36.539 --> 01:49:41.039
of people who Uncle Cain babysat. It's particularly

01:49:41.039 --> 01:49:43.560
funny, he mentions like... It literally says

01:49:43.560 --> 01:49:46.699
in the novel, his headache went from them hating

01:49:46.699 --> 01:49:49.739
each other to him breaking up lovers' trysts

01:49:49.739 --> 01:49:53.720
all the time. We are on campaign. A battle is

01:49:53.720 --> 01:49:56.239
tomorrow. I need you in fighting shape and not

01:49:56.239 --> 01:49:59.800
pregnant. And you know for a fact, Jurgen is

01:49:59.800 --> 01:50:02.739
the guy who, like, any time you give him a baby

01:50:02.739 --> 01:50:06.920
to hold, he always cries. He's that guy! But

01:50:06.920 --> 01:50:09.659
everyone cries around him. We forgot one Jurgen

01:50:09.659 --> 01:50:13.600
tip. A big thing was, Jurgen has an incredible

01:50:13.600 --> 01:50:17.970
ability... to scrounge food at any point. He

01:50:17.970 --> 01:50:20.810
always has a sandwich. And most importantly,

01:50:20.930 --> 01:50:23.550
the bitter drink that Valhalla and Kane really

01:50:23.550 --> 01:50:26.449
like, which is tanner tea. He always offers Kane

01:50:26.449 --> 01:50:28.989
tanner tea at any point. And everyone else says

01:50:28.989 --> 01:50:31.250
it's the worst drink ever. It's not vodka, it's

01:50:31.250 --> 01:50:36.829
just tea. It is just tea. Amelie hates it. Everyone

01:50:36.829 --> 01:50:40.100
who isn't a Valhalla or Kane needs it. It's like

01:50:40.100 --> 01:50:43.140
vod is water and cat is little, so it's like

01:50:43.140 --> 01:50:45.659
little water. It's only a little bit of water.

01:50:45.840 --> 01:50:48.560
It's a little water. So like tea. Sure, guys,

01:50:48.680 --> 01:50:52.399
you got your tea. Kyle, now that you mention

01:50:52.399 --> 01:50:57.340
it, we forgot two Jürgen fun facts. At any given

01:50:57.340 --> 01:50:59.800
moment, and Kane will bring it up numerous times,

01:50:59.899 --> 01:51:02.880
if Jürgen is not busy with his commissarial duties

01:51:02.880 --> 01:51:06.289
or fighting, he is looking at porno slates. Yeah,

01:51:06.289 --> 01:51:10.430
he's joking it. He will just do this in public.

01:51:10.529 --> 01:51:14.149
He does not care. Poor guy, though. The thing

01:51:14.149 --> 01:51:16.390
is, you know for a fact, every girl he approaches

01:51:16.390 --> 01:51:18.449
is like, get away from me. He'll do it in his

01:51:18.449 --> 01:51:21.430
room. He's not cranking it in public. He is reading

01:51:21.430 --> 01:51:23.430
them in public, though. He just doesn't have

01:51:23.430 --> 01:51:27.890
any human connection. He's like, oh, no one likes

01:51:27.890 --> 01:51:32.390
me apart from my husband. I have read Greater

01:51:32.390 --> 01:51:35.069
Good. That's the only guy of his cane book that

01:51:35.069 --> 01:51:36.789
I've read. The one where he fights with a Tao

01:51:36.789 --> 01:51:39.449
guy. Oh, I was going to say, it's because it

01:51:39.449 --> 01:51:44.729
has Tao in it. The Tao in that book, they first

01:51:44.729 --> 01:51:47.890
meet in this one. He's one of the guys, part

01:51:47.890 --> 01:51:50.229
of the envoys, who he saves. So that's how the

01:51:50.229 --> 01:51:53.960
connection was. brought about uh i think with

01:51:53.960 --> 01:51:56.800
that though um was there a question of the week

01:51:56.800 --> 01:51:59.340
segment we have we do but we have some donors

01:51:59.340 --> 01:52:01.479
so should we go through the um question of the

01:52:01.479 --> 01:52:03.979
week first uh just because there might be some

01:52:03.979 --> 01:52:06.460
attacked on at the end but uh i've got a few

01:52:06.460 --> 01:52:09.479
so last time we we should really call this question

01:52:09.479 --> 01:52:12.420
of the month or question whenever we remember

01:52:12.420 --> 01:52:15.460
the question of we remembered it this week um

01:52:15.460 --> 01:52:19.159
but Last time was our Trench Crusade episode

01:52:19.159 --> 01:52:22.699
and it was hashtag crusade for basically, if

01:52:22.699 --> 01:52:24.399
you could like take a character from Warhammer

01:52:24.399 --> 01:52:26.479
and plonk them into Trench Crusade, who would

01:52:26.479 --> 01:52:30.520
it be? The first one we got from rarest Pepe

01:52:30.520 --> 01:52:33.159
saying hashtag crusade. I would bring Techlist

01:52:33.159 --> 01:52:35.560
to Trench Crusade, not because I think he'll

01:52:35.560 --> 01:52:37.979
help, though I'm sure he will, but to keep him

01:52:37.979 --> 01:52:44.460
safe from Colin's lecherous hands. Wow. Which

01:52:44.460 --> 01:52:48.340
was the highest voted, highest thumbed up of

01:52:48.340 --> 01:52:53.640
all of them. Join the Discord to see the pregnant

01:52:53.640 --> 01:52:58.100
Technus Colin drawing. Yeah, I'm really happy

01:52:58.100 --> 01:53:02.800
that I got a message one night from the person

01:53:02.800 --> 01:53:05.680
who drew that. She was like, hey, I made some

01:53:05.680 --> 01:53:12.659
fan art. Oh, what is it? I guess. Your hero.

01:53:12.760 --> 01:53:17.340
Second. The second we got was a Roberts2561.

01:53:17.779 --> 01:53:20.239
I would bring Boingob just to see if he would

01:53:20.239 --> 01:53:22.739
just slam his face into the sun again in a different

01:53:22.739 --> 01:53:26.340
universe or try to eat the spicy meatball Beelzebub,

01:53:26.520 --> 01:53:29.840
which would be very fun. Look, it was a magic

01:53:29.840 --> 01:53:33.020
sun. He had the card stacked against him. If

01:53:33.020 --> 01:53:35.420
you put him in 40k, he's eating suns, no problem.

01:53:35.560 --> 01:53:39.939
I believe in him. The fact that he jumped that

01:53:39.939 --> 01:53:44.279
high. Yeah, he's goaded. Get cooked. It should

01:53:44.279 --> 01:53:46.960
be noted. It should be noted. He also, because

01:53:46.960 --> 01:53:50.140
the sun is also just a realm, he jumped in between

01:53:50.140 --> 01:53:53.260
an infinite void of magic to the realm of the

01:53:53.260 --> 01:53:57.220
sun to eat it. Truly goaded. God bless. Truly

01:53:57.220 --> 01:54:00.739
goaded. God bless. And also, we should point

01:54:00.739 --> 01:54:03.960
out, in Discord, there is a server channel that

01:54:03.960 --> 01:54:06.060
just is Praise Boingob, and you just have to

01:54:06.060 --> 01:54:08.000
praise him. Praise him right now, boys. Praise.

01:54:08.159 --> 01:54:11.300
Go in there and press. Praise him now. And the

01:54:11.300 --> 01:54:16.680
last one I picked was the Trismegist. Trismegist?

01:54:17.039 --> 01:54:20.239
I would bring the Emperor of Mankind, Great Crusader,

01:54:20.300 --> 01:54:21.939
out of Trench Crusade, because everyone would

01:54:21.939 --> 01:54:25.819
think he's God, and he'd get all annoyed. Oh,

01:54:25.939 --> 01:54:28.159
it's that guy. Oh, the confusion would be immense.

01:54:28.520 --> 01:54:31.420
You see the problem with that one is, unfortunately

01:54:31.420 --> 01:54:37.130
for him in that setting. The Judeo -Christian

01:54:37.130 --> 01:54:40.250
God is also there. And I don't think he'd be

01:54:40.250 --> 01:54:43.810
very happy with Big E. You know that meme of

01:54:43.810 --> 01:54:45.170
the guy at the football match who's just there

01:54:45.170 --> 01:54:49.649
going, that's just like, that contest is Big

01:54:49.649 --> 01:54:53.869
E appears in his golden armor. Yes, we have got

01:54:53.869 --> 01:54:57.630
a few donors to cap off the episode. Anyone want

01:54:57.630 --> 01:55:03.909
to read this one? Slanesh. Vincent. Or Alana.

01:55:04.250 --> 01:55:08.229
Or Alana. For the fiver. Of the four of you,

01:55:08.270 --> 01:55:11.350
which chaos god are you? No duplicates. You know

01:55:11.350 --> 01:55:15.149
what I'm about. I'll just say Korn. Andy's Nurgle.

01:55:15.289 --> 01:55:20.930
Andy's Nurgle. Why is Andy Nurgle? I would choose

01:55:20.930 --> 01:55:28.840
Nurgle. You know, back in Andy's day. Yeah, but

01:55:28.840 --> 01:55:32.680
which one of us is farting on a roommate's door?

01:55:33.739 --> 01:55:38.319
Certainly not Andy. How's Tentacle, Eldritch

01:55:38.319 --> 01:55:43.180
Horror guy? I'm not that smart. I'm just going

01:55:43.180 --> 01:55:46.960
to say I want to pick Korn because you guys weren't

01:55:46.960 --> 01:55:49.500
there when I used to play slightly competitive

01:55:49.500 --> 01:55:54.939
Gears of War multiplayer. With the Gnasher shotgun.

01:55:55.640 --> 01:56:03.460
I know what kind of man you are. I'm giving Andy

01:56:03.460 --> 01:56:08.039
Zeech. Zeech is Eli. Oh, okay. Zeech, you've

01:56:08.039 --> 01:56:12.560
got the clever scheming. You have the clever

01:56:12.560 --> 01:56:16.100
scheming to network Jesus Christ himself on this

01:56:16.100 --> 01:56:20.720
fucking podcast. I'm waiting for it one day.

01:56:21.300 --> 01:56:25.000
J .C. in the D .C. You're not going to believe

01:56:25.000 --> 01:56:27.159
who we have here for next year. Jesus of Nazareth.

01:56:29.180 --> 01:56:33.039
Colin, would you like to take this one? You know

01:56:33.039 --> 01:56:35.319
what? I'm proud of this. Fuck you, Bean. Thank

01:56:35.319 --> 01:56:37.920
you for the text. Colin is the type of MF to

01:56:37.920 --> 01:56:40.859
say, I am directly below the enemy scrotum while

01:56:40.859 --> 01:56:44.939
he sends his coordinates to a ship carrying a...

01:56:46.699 --> 01:56:49.359
So it can blow up the giant robot that's eating

01:56:49.359 --> 01:56:51.880
one of the pyramids. You know what I say to that?

01:56:51.960 --> 01:56:55.159
John Totoro is a treat. He is a treasure. He

01:56:55.159 --> 01:57:01.060
is. He is. Pointless hub is right. Imperial loyalists

01:57:01.060 --> 01:57:04.439
for five bucks. You now remember that time Kane

01:57:04.439 --> 01:57:07.119
did a planetary governor's daughter on a Stardust

01:57:07.119 --> 01:57:11.619
strike cruiser. I do now remember that. I thought

01:57:11.619 --> 01:57:16.739
that was not Kane, that was Gorn. Maybe? Well,

01:57:16.739 --> 01:57:20.380
Kane also did it. I'll have to reread the book

01:57:20.380 --> 01:57:22.520
to remember if it was on an Astarte strike cruiser,

01:57:22.579 --> 01:57:26.100
but it was on a ship that a planetary governor's

01:57:26.100 --> 01:57:30.979
daughter and Kane got busy. Chris Tofa for two

01:57:30.979 --> 01:57:34.220
bucks says there's a serious lack of Raquel fan

01:57:34.220 --> 01:57:39.140
art out there. I mean, maybe not. It's got to

01:57:39.140 --> 01:57:42.199
be out there. It does not need to be out there.

01:57:45.460 --> 01:57:47.960
Is that the last one there, Andy? That's the

01:57:47.960 --> 01:57:50.880
last one. We should finish off with one last

01:57:50.880 --> 01:57:53.739
generous helping of the advertisement of the

01:57:53.739 --> 01:57:56.260
Discord here, because someone wrote a lovely

01:57:56.260 --> 01:57:58.779
thing in our fan art. What about the second question

01:57:58.779 --> 01:58:04.180
of the week? Oh yeah, sorry. Oh, good point,

01:58:04.279 --> 01:58:07.500
yeah. Before we forget the question. The what?

01:58:08.359 --> 01:58:11.079
Next up on the hashtag when we remember to mention

01:58:11.079 --> 01:58:15.859
the whenever we do it question. Hashtag Cain.

01:58:16.020 --> 01:58:20.960
What situation would you throw Cain in? Yeah.

01:58:21.439 --> 01:58:24.779
We had a funny one of like, imagine if Cain was

01:58:24.779 --> 01:58:26.680
there during the Emperor fighting Horus on the

01:58:26.680 --> 01:58:28.300
Vengeful Spirit. He's just like, why am I here?

01:58:29.119 --> 01:58:31.579
Alternatively, what if Cain is under the enemy

01:58:31.579 --> 01:58:39.760
scrotum? Horus riding his looper cow. Hashtag

01:58:39.760 --> 01:58:43.420
Cain for that one. Amberly watches. Hashtag Cain.

01:58:43.720 --> 01:58:45.920
Finishing off... Don't put Amberley in the cuck

01:58:45.920 --> 01:58:49.479
chair. Finishing off this lovely episode with

01:58:49.479 --> 01:58:53.319
an advertisement to join the Discord. I will

01:58:53.319 --> 01:58:58.880
say the context of this post is there's a picture

01:58:58.880 --> 01:59:01.979
of Colin dressed like the chicken man suit from

01:59:01.979 --> 01:59:06.960
Toy Story. And there's a lovely paragraph that

01:59:06.960 --> 01:59:09.699
goes to explain someone's first -hand account

01:59:09.699 --> 01:59:12.039
that comes with this lovely picture. It says...

01:59:12.520 --> 01:59:15.119
I saw Colon, Pancreas No Work, at the grocery

01:59:15.119 --> 01:59:18.199
store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how

01:59:18.199 --> 01:59:21.239
cool it was to meet him in person. But I didn't

01:59:21.239 --> 01:59:24.140
want to be a douche and bother him and ask him

01:59:24.140 --> 01:59:27.760
for photos or anything. He said, oh, like you're

01:59:27.760 --> 01:59:31.760
doing now? And I was taken aback. And all I could

01:59:31.760 --> 01:59:35.460
say was, huh? But he kept cutting me off and

01:59:35.460 --> 01:59:39.659
going, huh, huh, huh? And closing his hand shut

01:59:39.659 --> 01:59:43.520
in front of my face. I walked away and continued

01:59:43.520 --> 01:59:46.899
with my shopping. I heard him chuckle as I walked

01:59:46.899 --> 01:59:50.100
off. And when I came back to pay for my stuff

01:59:50.100 --> 01:59:54.479
up front, I saw him trying to walk out the door

01:59:54.479 --> 01:59:59.199
with 15 Milky Ways in his hand without paying.

01:59:59.800 --> 02:00:03.119
I know what they're referencing. God damn it.

02:00:03.239 --> 02:00:05.880
Real scenario. The girl at the counter was very

02:00:05.880 --> 02:00:08.520
nice about it and professional and was like,

02:00:08.659 --> 02:00:12.079
sir, you need to pay for those first. At first,

02:00:12.079 --> 02:00:15.659
he kept pretending to be tired and not to hear

02:00:15.659 --> 02:00:18.680
her, but eventually he turned back around and

02:00:18.680 --> 02:00:21.699
brought them to the counter. Where is this again?

02:00:21.760 --> 02:00:26.439
When she took one of the bars and started scanning

02:00:26.439 --> 02:00:29.680
it multiple times, he stopped her and told her

02:00:29.680 --> 02:00:34.020
to scan them individually to prevent any electrical

02:00:34.020 --> 02:00:38.250
interferences. And then turned around and winked

02:00:38.250 --> 02:00:42.090
at me. I don't even think that's a word. And

02:00:42.090 --> 02:00:45.250
she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and

02:00:45.250 --> 02:00:48.229
started to say the price. He kept interrupting

02:00:48.229 --> 02:00:54.350
her by yawning really loudly. That was the Discord

02:00:54.350 --> 02:01:01.289
post. That was awesome. That was by... I just

02:01:01.289 --> 02:01:03.710
loved Colin's checked out expression during that.

02:01:06.960 --> 02:01:09.819
Yawning loudly. Thank you, everyone. What the

02:01:09.819 --> 02:01:12.220
hell was that? Thank you, everyone, for coming

02:01:12.220 --> 02:01:14.439
on this episode. Join the Discord. Get along.

02:01:14.539 --> 02:01:16.739
Watch our weekly episodes. We'll catch you guys

02:01:16.739 --> 02:01:18.300
on the next one. We have merchandise and stuff.

02:01:18.439 --> 02:01:20.640
Links for all that. Go check it out. Love you

02:01:20.640 --> 02:01:22.819
all. Like, subscribe. All the good stuff. And

02:01:22.819 --> 02:01:24.779
we'll see you guys on the next one. Peace. Bye.

02:01:25.159 --> 02:01:39.250
Bye.