Music
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's us, Lorecrites!
Woo!
What's up, man?
We're here!
How's it going, everyone?
Feeling good.
So, we have a special guest.
Sorry, Colin.
Nothing, Sean.
Colin Flound.
Not the sidewalk, the paint.
Just reading all the goofy chats that we were already getting.
Oh, there's so many goofy chats every time.
But today we have a special guest, the painting aficionado of Warhammer 40k.
It's Pegoneko!
Hello!
I wouldn't call myself an aficionado.
That's a very high praise for someone.
All I'm saying is the meme video that you did of two thin coats is...
It should be on a plaque in a museum somewhere.
Which is like, just apply two thin coats and it goes on for like four minutes.
It's the ultimate painting tutorial.
To the point where I sent it to a well-known painter in the hobby
and their response was the meme from The Simpsons was like,
stop, he's already dead.
And that was the meme potential.
Yeah.
I had actually...
Like, was it Army Painter and Green Stuff World replied to that one?
But Duncan Rhodes is still nowhere to be seen.
I think he might have blacklisted me.
All I can say is...
I did ask him once when I met him one time and I was like,
have you seen that video?
And he's like, yeah.
In that tone?
Yeah, it was like...
It was at like...
Where was it?
It was at like, I think it was at Saloon or something.
And it's just like, have you seen that video?
And he's like...
He exclusively sleeps on roofs.
I'm joking, don't let him hear this.
Oh my gosh.
He's my hero, I loved it.
Everyone though, we're here for another...
This is a bit of an unusual episode because it's not really a drastic A.
We're not trying to teach lore.
We're here to talk gossip, boys and girls.
We're literally here...
Spill the tea.
We're spilling the tea and we've got our lovely guest here to
bring on a little subject for us that I guess...
I don't know if we're all kind of going through the journey together.
We'll talk about Primarchs and what their most likelies are.
Take it away though if you got...
I think we have a first scenario or question.
Yeah.
So each question doesn't have a specific answer, like a correct answer.
It's just like a scenario and you guys can fuck around and find out who's...
Who would be most likely to do this thing?
And they're not exactly related to Warhammer lore because I
know very little about Warhammer lore, funnily enough.
But I do know about the Primarchs.
I feel like that's kind of step one of Warhammer.
So I feel like I know that much at least.
So we can go into that.
Yeah, let's go straight into it, boys.
Yeah.
All right.
My first question, hopefully an easy one.
Which Primarch is most likely to argue with people on Reddit?
Oh, the options.
It's starting to be an easy section, I see.
Do all of them?
Surely.
Alpharius would do it ironically.
He'd do it just to troll.
There's no ironically arguing on Reddit.
All right, if you're there, you're there.
Warguard would take the Ready at Atheist bait.
He would take it.
Okay, hear me out.
The scenario is Lionel Johnson, first Primarch, the lion, he's old now,
but he's not changed too much.
He's like, one of his boys comes up and he's like,
sir, look at this.
They've said something about the Dark Angel like this.
They know you're keeping secrets.
And then he literally, he's like, I'm not going to argue with this.
But then he sees that one comment, which I have the same feeling with some of you
guys in the chat, okay?
You see that one comment and the lion will not stop arguing because he knows he's right.
Yeah.
He would undoubtedly be right.
And you know the reply is going to be Conrad Kurs doing a quote, was it so post,
which is like a completely unrelated essay.
You're like, Kurs, what are you doing?
I don't know.
I feel like Perderabo would exceed the lion's rightness.
Because Perderabo would be the guy who goes,
actually, that would be Perderabo to a T.
Or is that Magnus?
Yes.
Absolutely.
It's both of them.
Oh yeah, or Magnus.
It kind of depends if it's talking about like how to like hot rod your car or how to like summon.
Yeah, but I think Magnus would like fully commit to the argument.
I think Perderabo would just call you a slur.
I think that'd be where it ends.
Leman Russ hasn't learned to read yet, so I don't know if he'd be able to.
He's talking to my boy.
Keep him B.
I think he would absolutely be like a fairy anime profile figure.
Oh man.
He'd have the alpha wolf PFP.
He'd make the two wolf edits with him and Magnus or something stupid.
Yeah, he would just like comment a woo under every tree.
I was thinking as well, Gulliman, but he would be the one that gets the
dot points with sources to explain what you're wrong.
You know he's replying with a pike.
And he's always right.
I don't know.
That's why I don't think he fits because he's just right.
He's not really arguing then.
Roguel Dorn would just immediately like, he would look at it and you see his,
you wouldn't see anything, then his top like upper lip would slightly,
you know, it gets a bit smaller and then like you walk away and then you hear
something get smashed in the background.
It's like, God, look at that R slash building or something and then.
God, did a terrible job.
I don't know what, Conrad Kurz will be into some weird stuff though.
That guy should not be anywhere near Reddit.
Although Mortarion would definitely be a subscriber to quote R slash fart maxing.
Oh no.
I didn't know what that was.
We're not judging what they do in their off time.
That's their own business.
He'd do his own thing and he would be in that little subreddit all on his own and
all the other formats like I'm not even touching that with a 10 foot barge pole.
Where's Angron?
Screaming in a cell somewhere.
Okay, let him be. He's fine.
I can't even think to what Fulgrim would be into.
Like I genuinely.
You can't?
Yeah.
It's not space for work.
He would be on the dark web.
Yeah, he wouldn't be like, oh, like, oh, going on any of these like normal websites,
cringe, let me go to like the extreme where like the FBI are watching what I do.
Like that would be Fulgrim.
So if the Imperium had read it, would Fulgrim be the one like first comment, zero seconds,
like grab his jeans, he didn't twist it or something.
No, he would like reply to it.
Oh my God, did you guys see on Instagram, there was like one day where everything was just like
extremely violent and gory.
Yes.
Like it bugged out.
Yeah.
Fulgrim would be like responding to every post, like one of those videos.
Who'd be posting gore in the chat?
Stand by.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
He's got a folder ready.
He's got a folder.
Right.
We've got to narrow this down shortly.
Like can we at least come to a consensus of like who would be like.
The number one.
I feel like Pardorabo would be the worst for sure.
I don't know.
I think he's more of a man baby.
Like he would just, he would.
That's why I think he would be number one.
Even when he's wrong, he'd be like, I'm correct and I'm going to double down.
Like, okay.
Yeah.
I think he's like prime Reddit energy.
My poor boy.
He's not my favorite.
He's iron Fedora.
He's like, you can go down.
He's like, no, I'm on your side.
It's a strong start though.
Reddit.
It's a strong start.
All right.
Well, so we'll put them Pardorabo for that one.
He can't run again.
He can't handle it.
Okay.
I've got, I've got a more positive one.
Uh, like I like a positive trait to have.
Uh, who is most likely to plan a sick vacation?
Vulcan.
Jackataycon.
Who said Vulcan?
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me picture the scene.
The core is yours.
I'm not going to just with a quaresme and empire on the weekend, bro.
I'm just saying you go, you're on your stag do or something similar and Jackatay is like,
Hey, we'll get the bikes.
We'll go for a ride.
We'll go like, we'll go hunting.
We'll chill, we'll chill on the beach.
We'll chill in the grasslands.
We'll have a good time.
We'll, we'll, we'll cheekily like say about how the emperor is not that big of a deal
and he's a bit cringe and we'll like all laugh quietly and, and, and we'll, we'll,
we'll be there with nature.
We'll have some fun.
We'll have some beers, have some brewskis, have some milk, have some fermented milk.
And that is a pretty good deal rather than like Rogal Dawn who's like,
we will sit in a room and we will look at the structural components that make concrete.
Like, well done Rogal, you boring bum.
I'm sorry.
Now I'm feeling attacked.
I think you're going to have the best, you're going to have the best
Thailand vacation of your life with fulgrum.
That's all I'm, that's all I'm about to say.
Yeah.
I think Vulcan, come on, he's going to get the barbecue.
No, you just hate things that are nice and simple.
As opposed to drinking milk and going for a ride.
That's pretty simple.
Vulcan's weekend.
Listen, Vulcan's vacation.
Like you guys planned it.
It's like, oh my God, we have an amazing holiday.
I'm going to gasp for it.
And it's a soup kitchen.
Like not a problem, but it's like you can't get what you signed up for
because he's too nice.
Do you know what I mean?
So Hal hates the pork.
Well, here's the thing.
I kind of understand what I was saying.
Like Vulcan would be like, let's not do anything that's not too safe.
Whereas Jagatai would be like, we're going for a drag race.
Like 1000 kilometers.
Let's go.
Fastest bike.
Bring the torah.
It'll be really fun.
It'll be legit.
As he said, don't quote me on that.
I feel like Jagatai wouldn't want you to come with him.
I feel like he'd just go off and do his own thing.
He'd just leave you.
Where is this coming from Eli?
He had the chapter.
He had Legion.
He's all about bringing the boys.
Are you a white scar in this situation?
What?
You're a white scar space marine in this situation?
I think if you're just a dude, he's just leaving you.
He's a loof.
He's the most loof MF out there.
Let's not forget Ilya Revalyan, who's an elderly Admiral.
So he brings an elderly.
He's really nice to her.
And let's not forget he also adopted a thousand sun who wasn't cringe,
which is like the pit of war hammer law.
Who did that guy become?
Grey Knight's Grandmaster.
Yeah, he was like, oh, I'm not cringe like the rest of the thousand suns.
I'm on Prospero.
And then Jagatai was like, I will adopt you.
And then they went back to Terra and he was like,
oh, Sharda Magnus in my bones, crawling in my skin.
And then he was like, oh, he's not as cringe as his dad.
And then he became the first Grey Knight.
All of them are cringe more or less.
Most of them are cringe.
It's Hal's first win on stream ever.
Do you guys hear that?
Literally 90% of all thousand suns.
Yes, daddy, let me die and become an automaton.
What's that about?
Cringe.
Not once did they say yes, daddy, let me die in the books.
That is complete.
I can find the page and the book.
Fulgurum's going to plan you a great vacation.
Gilliman's going to plan you the perfect.
I don't want to be on the.
I don't really get to get into the vacation.
Yes, he's going to.
You have to be the kind of person who wants to always be doing something.
I see.
That's my problem with Gilliman's vacation.
The most eventful thing ever, but I do not get to just sleep.
Yes, we're done around it.
The real answer is Leman Ross.
I was about to say.
How?
Yes, I agree.
Like in his in his like in his like non-descript like backstory,
he'd literally drinking contests with the emperor when he meets him.
All the other primates are like, oh, daddy.
And he's like, well, it comes with the qualification
that you're happy with being an alcoholic, but I am so.
Well, here's a serious question before you like even get there.
On the plane.
Here's a serious question.
What's better?
Like if you have a primark, it's like we're going to drink
and we go have some fun.
We're not going to be like Gilliman, be like, ah, you're no, don't drink too much.
But we're also going to be like Russ, who's like, I want you to be throwing up
by the end of the night.
Surely it's better.
Like as soon as you've had your fun drinking, have your milk and wake up tomorrow
about hangover.
I mean, that's better.
Andy, I think we're coming to just a fundamental disagreement.
I want.
Yeah, I mean, with Leman Ross, I would be
I would just die at the end of it.
Like, yeah, I would.
Literally like you would have.
I would have a Viking funeral on the exit plan.
He's a guy.
He would.
He would make sure, you know, you've got like, you know, not poison me.
He's got you.
He'd like hold your hair, you know, as you're throwing up.
I mean, he would be.
I'd hold his ginger.
And he'd be toilet.
Nothing, just hold my bald head or something.
Look, you don't drink that much and not know how to handle it.
All right.
He knows what he's doing.
You'd be fine.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't think and yeah, I think we have to say Leman Ross, surely.
Yeah, I agree with us.
All right.
I couldn't bring Lohgald with me because it would just like I would rather.
No, he's going to take you to Bible studies.
Why is core fair on in the rooms at night?
Okay.
It was word very slander.
I've been on a few.
They can be fun.
I can hear cause Farron servos like moving when I trying to sleep.
It's really bad.
Why is he wearing full armor plating while I'm trying to sleep?
This is awkward.
All right.
So Leman Russ, choose Leman Russ.
That's fair.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Nice.
All right.
Nice.
Next.
Most likely to fall for a conspiracy theory.
Lohgald.
Conspiracy was that he was right.
Oh no.
Here we go again.
Oh no.
We've had this argument before.
Here we go again.
It's probably last week.
Okay.
I think the emperor line.
I bet the line would fall in 30 K in the horrors, heresy stuff.
The emperor is a god.
Yes.
A god.
He in 40 K is like supposedly like in the book series, they say he's like becoming a god.
Like that's the whole thing.
He is.
Oh, he's on the chair.
He's on the chair.
He's a warp entity.
He's on a chair and he blasts lightning across fucking reality.
Yeah.
He's powerful.
Doesn't name the god.
Oh my gosh.
Well then the chaos gods are gods either.
Okay.
Here's the whole, here's the whole shtick.
Here's the whole shtick.
In Warhammer, the only thing that really makes a god is if they like they are a birth presence
in the warp as in like with the Eldar gods or other things or in some way they are unkillable.
It's like they're an immutable part of like existence.
The emperor can be, you know, he can be cut down.
He's not a god.
Didn't someone die like a tech priest and she saw golden light envelop her when she died?
There's a heaven.
In the heresy.
People go to heaven.
Oh yeah.
He's literally a god.
Technically also a black templar.
He was a dreadnought.
He was in the Forsaken Tomb book.
I think it is.
He has like a moment where he like he's dying and he sees his late past when he was a boy
and he is like in lore he sees the light of the emperor and he's like I'm his I'm his best boy.
I'm gonna die but it'll be awesome.
Are we all the original question again?
All the boys are like, Lorgar is bad.
Who's falling for a conspiracy theory?
I think Alpharius would fall for the conspiracy that Omegon put on the internet
to trick his own brother.
Maybe some stupid BS plot.
No but I think he would like know but like go along with it anyway and then like you
know have his own secret plan.
Is falling for the conspiracy not falling for the conspiracy though?
I hate the Alpharius.
Like if you continued out the entire end part of playing out believing it.
I do know the kinds of people that are like you know I believe in this conspiracy theory
but I'm not a conspiracy theorist you know.
I bet that sounds like a good idea.
I think the lion would fall for a lot of goofy stuff.
But then again the lion was also like the guy who backhanded one of his sons
to decapitation to be like you're slightly moving out of the range of like acceptable
poor.
If you gave him the internet though I think he would I think he'd get his own.
And let's not forget he also was trusted as the only like Primarch with like
here's all the dangerous stuff by the emperor.
He's like hey do you want like a world destroying like thing?
Did you want some men of iron?
Here you go.
You're the only one allowed.
He's already insane.
Yeah true.
He did make a mountain of like flesh into the image of the emperor.
That's kind of conspiratorial.
The meat puppet book was a great scene.
It was a great scene in the meat puppet scene you know what I mean.
But it's also completely unhinged.
Like if Kurz saw I don't know if for Kurz it couldn't be a conspiracy theory
because he would see a vision of it as like he would see it.
It's not a belief without proof thing.
Hal I have a question for you.
With that in mind.
You know that bit where he's all like he speaks to the emperor.
Do you think he actually spoke to the emperor or was he like hallucinating?
Oh as in like when the meat puppet has golden eyes and it starts talking to him.
Yeah.
Probably the emperor.
Yeah because the emperor's on the throne at that point right.
He's like not.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think honestly I'd probably say Magnus because Magnus would think he's too good to fall for a
conspiracy theory and then he would have never been like he's like well obviously it's the truth
and then he fell for it.
Yes.
He thinks he's too smart for it and then like in his actual lore he literally was like oh you know
I need to go tell the emperor like that Horus has betrayed him.
You know he needs me clearly.
He literally said in the end of the theory he said like the entire Horus heresy was about me bro.
Yeah.
I was the most important piece on the board.
I'm the only one that knows.
Go for it.
Just that like he's like the only one like he thinks he's the only one that knows this
insane truth and he needs to spread it to everyone he knows.
Am I right in remembering he says something to paraphrase like I'm the most important
piece on the board like I'm the key to everything in one of the books.
Yeah he's talking to Vulcan and Vulcan's like why did you bring why did you let down the shields
and let the space wall attack you didn't even try talking to them and he was like well obviously
because the whole plan was you know so he literally drank the Kool-Aid and he believed
that he literally said the whole heresy was about getting Magnus.
Why did you kill your own son who was like warning you the space walls are coming you're like
nah lick my balls.
He's like yeah that's that's cool mate nice one.
It's a prank bro yeah.
So they're agreeing and said it's Magnus.
Yeah Magnus is my favorite Primark but I accept that.
House making just double check thousand sons by the best legion Magnus.
Magnus I love can I get some house slider in the chat please.
All I'm saying is I recently did a space walls month of content and Ragnar threw the spear of
Rus into his eye twice and he's not even the first space marine to best a Primark in that chapter
like oh oh it's like Logan Ragnar twice Ironhelm punched him to the point where he was so sad he
left like oh space walls are built for the different.
Most people when they like legions or Primarks it's generally most of the time because of how
sick the models are of the primark like the Magnus demon primark model is incredible.
It is that.
Yeah I mean it's got it's a perfect model in terms of like it's humongous beautiful and
way better looking than like some of the 30k horror terraces.
He can take his chest plate off.
Oh and expose the nips.
Release the nip.
Oh dude he's just sexy that's it.
Primark is like weird isn't it on the model as well like his
he's like sucking in a breath because he's worried he looks fat from the side.
And to be fair Mortarion's model is really cool but it's also like he's smelly.
We should read some donors.
Eli would you like to do the honors with the first one?
Yes sir.
There you go.
James Gallagher thank you for the five dollars.
Hey Andy I read Horse Rising because of you and I loved it.
Colin I love your St. Louis Belleville humor.
Hal you are an icon Eli is Canadian.
Wow thanks bro.
Nice.
See we know where the compliments ran out.
Colin this is for you this is right up your alley.
Jalexy's what is gripper it's always a pleasure to say that name out loud.
Theoretical my tip sticky.
I'll slap my hog.
Wow.
Like Colin McCobb.
Thank you.
Bean.
I love this guy.
Bean gave us two.
One of you looks pretty nice today.
The first one.
It's me.
Yep.
Every time.
Who is it?
Speaking of conspiracies did you know what warpstone can't melt dwarf steel beads?
Thank you Bean.
I got the reference.
Carrick AP is an inside job.
Fantasy fancy references we love it.
Gamoth draws for five bucks.
Logar's culture believed in gods like Greek myth.
IRC?
I can't remember.
If I remember correctly.
Yeah.
So in Logar's eyes yes big E is a god he's just not one how we or he sees it.
You're real for that Gamoth.
You're real for that thing with five dollars.
Hell yeah.
I mean but.
The other was right.
As we mentioned our favorite piece of lore that also Osmond
as I'm saying Osmond became a YouTube member though thank you brother.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
More criminal.
Okay.
I was gonna say there's a meme of the channel here which is he may not be divine but he is
in our heart which is Boingob if Pegas ever heard of Boingob.
We never heard of it.
My god.
The big squig.
The the the lord of squigs.
Blessed be who.
The god.
Tried to eat the god of squigs.
Tried to eat the sun.
Poor boy.
He was too hungry for this world.
He's gonna die.
You know what whenever I think of Boingob trying to eat the sun I always think of Gordon
Ramsay just going you donkey you donut.
Like I don't know what it is.
Just like the culinary master being like.
Yeah I just imagine that.
Wow.
Gordon Ramsay he was a missing Primark.
I think it was Magnus the Red Boy safely safely Magnus the Red Boy.
This conspiracy boy.
Yeah yeah.
I agree.
All right next one which I think Colin would like.
Good boy.
Who's the most likely to watch Skivety Toilet.
Well Colin.
Hang on I need to go through some in my head.
I think I could get Russ to do it if we if you know we were both drunk which means yes
I could get Russ to do it.
Well can you get Russ drunk?
Oh I mean I don't need to we already have.
We already is.
It's like the criteria for entry has already been met before we even started.
God that's a good.
I don't know which one of them would even understand.
It's probably Kers.
Kers would watch it and think it's like some divine message surely.
Oh my god.
We would tackle that as like conspiracy theory.
I'm gonna say Lorgar.
Because it's right he knows he knows what it's about.
The dude he's willing to let's just say you know he fell to chaos he was like you know I need new
gods because my old ones you know made like literally bitch slapped me you know you got
bitch slapped by your own being bitch slapped by Jesus would probably have an impact you know
I mean so um I reckon he would do anything for chaos at some point so if if the chaos
of gods literally showed him this video he'd be like wow the sermons must be updated you know.
Do you think the chaos gods made skimity toilet?
Yes they did I'm a firm follower of them.
Huge.
Zinch my beloved.
Huge.
It doesn't mean anything does it as well it literally doesn't mean anything.
It's peak.
It's peak is what it means.
Truly I didn't know how to explain I was trying to explain that to people who like
have not followed internet culture for the last like 10-15 years.
It's just the next evolution of TF2SFM videos.
That's all it is.
It's the natural step forwards.
YTP again.
Yeah.
I'm lost bro I'm lost.
I thought Vine was like the peak of comedy and that was it no more progression after that.
I never watched Vine actually.
Yeah neither did I I was I was too young when I came out.
Too young?
Sorry mate.
I was like 12 bro that Vine is Vine.
Well 12 year olds.
I was a 12 year old.
Yeah it's what Vine's for.
12 year olds.
Oh I feel old now man.
Andy we cannot hear you.
All I'm saying is that like 50 plus years ago Monty Python started their comedy TV series with
a sketch where it was just like how to identify trees the larch the larch the larch and that's
all that sketch is like that has existed for hundreds of years.
It's probably the first step on the way to YTP honestly.
Yeah.
That was the first YTP.
Yeah.
So we're asking which Primark is pretty much brain dead.
I think it's hers.
I think I watched Brainwarp on Ironica.
Which one knows peak internet?
It'd be Curse.
I will stand still.
I bought the Fortnite skin I'm in.
What about Horax?
All I'm saying is I feel like Artharius would weave in an internet meme into his like
like you look at every event he did like he did all these invasions and then you look
at all the planets and every letter every first letter of the planets of that invasion
would spell out skibbidy toy and that would be like I'm the real or the fake all along.
I'm Artharius.
Alpharious.
And that'd be what he does.
Who just sends a picture as a reply and the picture doesn't have anything to do
with what people were talking about.
Do that.
I think you were an image earlier Eli and I was like this and you're like what is this about?
I'm like oh it's just a cool picture of Artharius.
I liked it.
I just wanted to make sure before I clicked on a link that it was actually you.
Corax is actually probably if it's post like Horus Heresy Corax where he's extremely depressed
and he's like yeah he cried in his tower for an entire year after the emperor got wheelchairs.
I don't know.
I think Corax would be willing.
So what you're saying how depression breeds memes.
Is that what you're saying?
Likely.
Yes.
You need to be at your lowest point to appreciate the peak.
You're on the internet the most when you're feeling like you're ready to be buried in the earth.
You gotta be at the bottom so you can look up and see the top.
Exactly.
I don't know.
I think it's probably like he was depression and saying that.
Scooby-Doo or Corax.
The moral of the story is I have something wrong with my brain and I'm waiting for an episode
of whatever they're on.
I was in the doctor's office and the doctor's like oh you've been feeling down lately have
you tried this just turns around presses space on his computer and just keep the toilet playing.
I don't know if I was like in a dream or I should immediately like throw hands like I don't know
what to do.
Dream I was in the show who was fucking weird.
Bro you're dreaming about skippity toilet.
I'm gonna be surprised.
I've had weird dreams.
Well who should we say then who's our little suggestion.
I think I'd say Corax I'm gonna go with that.
It's a good one.
I think you would do it.
Team Kers.
I'm still team skippity Kers.
I think Ross but I don't think he would be like into it you know he would walk in it.
You broke this video bro.
I thought the horrible sense that Russ is actually like he's into boomer humor.
To be fair, Lehman Russ is like the like he's like the optimal Joe Rogan experience viewer.
So like he'll just watch that and be like do you see this thing.
It's like oh yeah.
My nipples are really big.
Andy and Colin you break the time of whichever whoever you want to go.
I'll go Corax.
Timing donations by the way though I think that some people got in on the referendum there.
And set, can we get blessed boing gob in the southspire voice.
Go on Colin.
Blessed boing gob.
Truly, truly perfect.
It's moist when he says it.
Don't say that.
Mr. Neolov again the Bulgarian I don't know what their currency is I have to tell this brother.
I just saw a betting ad for the new pope on IG.
Who are you betting on?
I'm betting 50 on the 8th.
Oh my gosh.
You could bet on who the new prime minister is gonna be in Canada.
Who that that seems like an actual reasonable thing to bet on.
I'm not even I'm not encouraging you.
The truth sir coming back.
Being they were the five dollars.
Curse would watch Chinese steal Chinese steal mill accidents on live leaking his free time.
So true.
I think that's what was.
Main event Virgil go for five euros.
Ayo how like in the haircut.
Thank you rather.
Readers Nigel for this.
Wow.
The new emperor's children models.
I think they're fine not great.
That's so good.
Some of them are some of them are great some of them are fine.
That's a funny helmets.
They they will never be the like the actual artwork emperor's children that we want them to be.
But they're okay.
They're pretty nice looking.
Dragon timer.
Thank you for the five dollars.
Shout out to the wraith guard pfp.
Corax and Curse are both the kid in the back of the class except Corax is actually pretty chill
and Curse just shows you lively.
It's very real.
Check this video out.
It's super cool.
Oh that's just gonna be happy.
Parker something for 499 bucks.
I'm about to teach my little niece's warhammer soon
because I'm a good and fun uncle wish me luck.
Good man.
I feel like their parents won't be too happy once once they're asking.
Do not I repeat do not start with the demonculaba.
Ease them in.
I would say start with the war in general.
I would say like start with the with the silly little bottles.
Yeah.
I assume that's what he's doing.
Yeah.
You start you start with the orcs and you go they're just goofy little goobers and then like
actually they're not goofy little goobers.
Exhibit A burning a man alive.
It's like that's how that's how you go with all.
What was everyone's little goobers.
But not really.
What was everyone's first model that they bought and painted?
Eldar viper.
I painted it in Beel Tan colors.
We're gonna have that off rip Jesus.
Yes sir I'll never forget.
Hey what was your first model that you so you do a lot more now obviously
do you remember your first one you got?
Uh well actually wasn't I'm not like a veteran because I'm you know I'm young and jovial.
I I started with the chaos space marines combat patrol at the very end of eighth edition.
That was sort of like a gift but we actually ended up losing our entire army which was
really bad we left it like at a bus stop and we realized like 15 minutes later and
sprinted back but it was already gone like obviously someone knew what warhammer was I don't know.
Uh but the game store we went to like felt really bad for us because we were like that in high school
and they were like I'm sorry have some have some free warhammer and we're like free warhammer.
And they stole my car keys as well could I get some more?
And then Peggy went unlimited exploit.
Oh someone stole it from my house.
With a broken leg equal a mortarium just let me know boys.
Ugly in the street.
How much would you be willing to sacrifice?
Not that much I think what is it warhammer's worth its weight in silver
some models it's crazy.
Yeah it's actually insane.
Zach Ames glory Zach Ames glory to China.
Oh the cheap ones. Does anyone actually like how much do they want proxy stuff that they own or
paint? Because I've got tons of proxies because we just play and in like a clog we don't play at
an official GW store or anything so tons of recasts we are fiends for the resin.
Good as it should be.
The last game I played I didn't have any of the models assembled so I just said everything on
the base is actually an infantry model.
I'd be so tilted.
Yo is that pancreas no worse?
We should just rebrand the channel at this point just instead of law crimes call it paint crimes.
Yeah I've never once claimed to be good at what I do.
Would you get in legal trouble if you got if you asked Zach Ames for a sponsor?
Hello although speaking of paint crimes the only that my first minis were the
the ultramarines 90s starter box in like the late 90s and my mom worked at like the the shop that
sold them so I got like a 10 discount. I just had like I bought that box five times to have an army
and I remember my friend Sean painting like blood angels and my limited knowledge at the time like
you're not allowed to point the red that's the baddies the baddies are painted red and I was very
upset and it's like yeah you only paint them blue but yeah that was back in the day when I was stupid
in the brain box.
I had a battle from the crag the box set which is so epic and first born marines they're called now
but it was like I remember having like the codex I could port the codex as well I didn't know what
the hell was going on honestly like the codex stuff looked really like pretty and like you know
it was like cool I was like oh man there's like chapters and stuff I don't know what they all
do a page some silver I have no idea which one I was trying to emulate honestly um like I
kind of I used to read the codex to have an idea about what was happening but
not a clue like there was an emperor or anything like that or there are even
prime marks at the time not like just and then I picked up warhammer again like later but man I
lost that box set I lost the models mother threw them out no there's tough man so what was the
question again what are you doing inside that?
What did you happen?
Um all right we can go on to the next one um all right who is the most likely to never clean their
room? That's Korax. That's a different kind of clean.
Didn't he make like a recreation of I forget his home Barbarus? There we go.
Didn't he do that the moment he became a demon and just made like a perfect recreation?
Yeah he was like hey he's clean enough. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna make like a world ruled over
by necromancers I'm gonna make a world ruled over by me don't worry about the fact that all my
legion have like their intestines hanging out. I think Korra's necromancy it's fine.
Korra's and Korrax surely one of the two. I'm saying like not even never cleans their room
but also like actively it makes it worse like you know like Asmongold levels like.
I don't know like everywhere.
It's a tough one because again with Konrad Kurz there is the meat puppet in that corner
and then with Mortarion Mortarion there's diarrhea.
One meat cake one flesh cake I'm just saying I'm just saying all I'm saying is like no matter how
many like sewn capes of flesh can you compete with the death guard one word is only required
encrusted like is that okay does that I don't like that word I raise your exactly my point
I raise your encrusted and I give you Konrad Kurz going to face his death so he walks into that room
and it's a room of living people sewn together and they're all screaming.
Yeah but that's not messy that's just fucked up.
The whole point is that they scream so he can no longer hear the sounds of like the like the warp
or anything else so that's more that's a messy room.
All right Hal I'll raise you that messy room with two words.
Oh my gosh.
Tribbling postulant.
You winced I winced.
I just want to think of the amount of clutter and like garbage they have in their room not
species and humans.
Depressed clutter too.
Yeah for Korax.
What about like like pre-heresy before the whole Morty got sick stuff.
I think it's tough though because some all the good primarchs are so they're all orderly
like they would all clean their room.
Yeah it's got to be a chaos one.
Maybe one I guess.
He's too angry to clean.
To be fair Hal the nightlords would be like oh you clean my room or I'll skin you alive.
That doesn't count.
Yeah.
Oh it's orderly and tidy because I'll skin you if you don't like.
I don't think I want to go check if Klopna Kurs's room is clean.
It is a thing Gillerman would be like brush your teeth and do 20 sit-ups a day because
that's an ultramarine that's the ultramarine way like thanks dad.
Where he's like Kurs being like ah just tell the labor serfs to do it or skin them alive.
I feel like that's passing the buck a little bit.
Yeah tell the slate the new slate or the new chandelier that he needs to clean the room.
I would say I can now.
Anger on because he I don't think he can he takes no joy from anything other than killing so
or being in raid so he would there would be no room per se it would just be splinters.
Yeah I think Anger would like flip his table like on the daily.
The guy who has to make tables for that.
Wow great employment I think we say anger on then for that one.
Sure yeah to be fair.
Yeah there was that whole thing where like his uh was it Widowmaker the the big chain
double hand uh two-handed chain axe he broke it in a battle in the Horus heresy and he's like
I don't care leave it and then he comes like no that's really cool tech priest get the teeth
get the teeth I want to fight with the gore child oh it's cool oh and Anger's like what are you
talking about is we're all about when it breaks you chuck it away and you get another one and
that was the whole thing. I'm sorry was that like was that Khan? That sounds responsibly better.
Was that like Khan slash Jordan Peterson? You better clean your room.
Well you know you gotta clean your chain axe you gotta put it back in place
because you gotta bring order to your chain axe.
Unless Wayne Marcus will never let you clean your chain axe.
Oh my god.
I think um yeah I think post heresy is obviously more tea like but yeah.
It's because he stinks man.
Just yeah like that's that's literally his brand like.
It's called Oro bro come on.
Uh you guys want to say this one?
Skellnari the underlord thank you for the five dollars.
Alpharius I kid you not Gilman he turned himself into a pickle funny shit I've ever saw.
Gilman please leave me alone.
Another goat of our chat.
Kabandas the mighty long of sickness thank you for the five.
Dalip every now and then I feel like Colin is growing on me gosh and then he says something
that makes me glad his pancreas doesn't work come on.
So Wayne.
That's so someone wished diabetes on you.
Are you okay?
Do you need a hug?
I need a moment.
It's tough man.
We need a salvation.
Your chat is savage I don't think I don't think my chat has anything that dirty on me.
It's not even something they have on me it's just fucking diabetes.
We say something about our foreheads every week.
My forehead.
Every week.
Well you see my my appearance has been uh digitally sculpted to be perfect.
I think they can insult me in any way.
Sounds like an alpha legion op.
Immune.
Vtuber derogatory.
What's the next one then I'm ready for.
Right next one um who is most likely to crash daddy's sports car.
Jaggedyde.
Sure is Jaggedyde.
No.
Jaggedyde.
Yeah them.
I hate it.
Go fast.
I hate I have to say that.
Russ would do it too.
It's already it's it's already set so it's Magnus he already crashed into it.
No look.
Russ has like a team.
You know you know uh Jaggedyde wouldn't crash it because he would like race it well you know.
Well I think.
True yeah I retract my previous statement.
Jaggedyde is gonna push it beyond what the car is capable of he's not gonna like crash it but
he's gonna break the engine or some shit.
He's gonna look super low.
Yeah Lehman Russ is just going booze cruising.
Lehman Russ is drink driving every weekend he should be arrested but you can't because
he's a Primark.
Yeah.
Ah.
And he passes the breathalyzer every time as well.
He's like.
Technically get drunk.
Yeah he's like Captain America in the first one was like sitting in that like
bombed out bar he's like you know what's weird about being a super soldier can't get drunk.
Ah.
Well actually he wouldn't even be driving a car he'd just be like riding a wolf so it's like
uh uh uh it's not drink driving.
Yeah if Lehman Russ is running on all fours besides it is that also is that crashing daddy's car if
he like knocks into it.
That's a crazy line Colin.
From the beer to the keys to the tree.
I can't be of any other Primark.
That sounds like metallic every second.
From the beer to the keys to the cart of the tree.
Is it a KSI reference?
Yeah that's the way it is.
Colin you are muted my friend.
Fuck.
I was just saying what Eli said it's the KSI song.
Oh my god I would I mean it can't be anyone other than Magnus really like he would.
Fuck.
Everyone else is trying to like low key crash it Magnus would crash it and then he would be like
it was all part of some grand plan.
You didn't need this car.
See I wrapped around the nursery on purpose.
I promise officer this is all according to plan oh yeah let's hear it.
This reminds me of Magnus slander this stream.
There's only one Magnus fan on war crimes.
I wish to that I love that Magnus like he deserves it though he from the law perspective
he is like the guy like I never did anything wrong immediately like look behind him and
everything went wrong so it's like I just can't hack his like he has no accountability.
He can't even see straight you know I mean like because he's you know he's got he's
a nitchie he's blind to his own failures and half blind so you know yeah he deserves it.
I think he should he should definitely sit on a fire hydrant and make it disappear.
Like I just you know I mean like he gets me annoying.
You stay at every race every month because of you.
One month I say that.
Get new material.
Oh I did earlier oh damn.
Magnus then yeah.
Magnus respectable all right.
Who is which Primark is most likely to be on an alpha male podcast.
Wait wait wait.
Fulgrum is too effeminate.
I'm gonna be honest.
I think we're gonna be like.
Leave it to us or or or the line.
We get right.
Because because the lion is like.
Of like alpha male podcast I think lion would be like the intellectual alpha male you know.
Not like the type you know.
Where do you work.
Well here's the thing the lion would have a YouTube podcast called the reasonable Primark
and that would be like his platform.
Um.
Well Ferris Manus chat is saying this we haven't even said Ferris Manus poor guy.
Who.
Ferris Manus.
No I mean to be fair like Ferris Manus would be like well you're not you're not working out
enough oh you don't have iron hands skill issue you're a cringe beta male oh look at me.
I'm trying to make this like you're the cell steroids.
Yeah to be fair and to be fair.
Iron hands are all like hey we are exceptional because of competition like Ferris Manus never
got rid of the warring tribes of Medusa because he was like competition is good you should
kill each other until you're better than everyone else even Lehman Rust didn't do that.
Lion didn't do that it's like hey he's pretty much toxic masculinity the prime.
In a way.
I saw said Ferris equals liver king.
Which is hilarious.
Don't do things like that.
Someone did point out yet Pete Peter Robert.
I think Pertorabo would probably unironically host it with Mortarion.
The only thing is.
They wouldn't be like alpha male stuff though they would just be like I don't even know how
to describe it.
They'd be like alpha male from Wish like those podcasts where it's like you're the guy who's
like oh look at me like because the thing is like you could literally I could envision like
the lion doing his like prime like liver king posse like hey primals so no not the lion.
I'm Ferris Manus like hey guys so I am natty but I am using like iron hands so I'm not
completely natty but I did kill like a big like Necron spider thing so it's fine so skill issue.
So you should still buy my supplements.
Okay Ferris.
Yeah.
Calm down.
I feel like we're skipping over like the obvious like Angren.
That is true.
He can't be the hero.
Yeah he would be.
Angren condense in a sentence together.
He would be the one that's like Tony the freaking frogs gay you know.
I think Pertorabo would be the perfect Alex Jones I think.
I think I could see it.
I mean Angren.
Which is why you want to be the alpha male guy.
He'd be you know the siege of terror didn't go according to plan because the emperor's
turning the imperium gay.
All right.
Come on.
Calm down.
Grab the mic hurry.
Angren is like the siege of terror being like she told you don't you didn't turn up in his
bugatti and he's like you can get past the emperor's shielding.
I think Angren would be toxic.
Oh yeah.
Well I just I just don't believe that he would be able to be like I can string enough sentences
together to get like a following to an extent.
It's like he was lucky that the legion was following him before he went scrammaging.
And then afterwards it's like it's all downhill from here whereas like like Ferris Manus all
the boys who followed him were like I believe in the program.
I believe in the program.
I should cut my arms off.
I was like wow that's devotion.
I should put metal where my arms were.
That's pretty crazy.
Whereas Angren it's more like I like killing like it's a bit more vague.
I think it'll be a group podcast and Ferris Manus would host with his little cuck boys
of Pertorabo and Mortarion on the side.
Mortarion would have like the resentment part of it like really strong.
Pertorabo is like he's doing it but he has no like conversation skills and Ferris Manus
is like listen like I'm not he's like I'm not fully in it boys but I'm like kind of
there I'm like I'm talked to the same people but he's not as bad as the other two.
He's the guy who wrangles them all together and he's just like these guys are actually
beta males but I'll bring them in because I'm the real alpha.
Coconut's in Barbados.
Fair enough.
Fair enough Mortarion.
Yeah you're an alpha male.
Cool mate.
Good story.
Check out my metal arms.
Can a Primark household survive on one income boys?
No.
Check out my new bitcoin.
Ironcoins.com said Ferris Manus.
Oh man.
Handcoins.com.
Primark's former house.
Oh god.
Poor cake house is crazy.
I'm trying to get the lore crimes people to move to Thailand with me.
I'm trying to.
I'm not moving.
When you say it like that it sounds bad.
You can be a digital nomad.
I don't have the context to mention that.
I would actually I would agree with Ferris but I really think honestly Mortarion is the
he's the true embodiment of it because he's just resentment.
Yeah fair enough.
I'll say that yeah.
What the rest of you what Colin what do you think?
Is Colin alive?
He is rising.
Colin seems to have died.
Yeah I heard everyone kind of like start like getting all echoey and like teleporting.
I think that's for a bit.
Yeah the thousand yard stare there.
He like saw the emperor in that moment.
My wifi is usually good but every like you know 10 minutes it rapidly jumps to a million
ping and I don't know where I'm at.
Well here's the rival's of pain.
Who's the bigger alpha male?
Ferris Manus or Mortarion?
It's surely as Ferris Manus.
I got that.
Probably Ferris.
I don't know.
Mortarion kind of has like his own cult as well.
Yeah.
They're all BAAAAM.
My lungs and intestines are falling out my guts.
That's a nice fit.
Oops made a stain on the carpet.
That's the kind of guy he is.
It's Horus says Mr Mike.
Enjoy showing off your muscles to your girlfriend when you stank.
I don't know.
Whoever just said someone said Horus that's kind of.
It's kind of real.
Yeah corrupted Horus.
That's a good point.
Good point.
Actually I'll go with Horus now.
I'm actually the biggest chat there is.
I feel like Horus is too much of a nerd.
He's cool though.
He's cool.
He's too cool to be the alpha male podcast guy.
He's too charismatic.
He gets on with people.
To be fair the charisma would work well on a podcast.
And he's strong.
And he would literally be like, oh you know that guy Ferris Manus.
Cool being an alpha male with no head.
That's pretty cool bro.
Legit.
That would be like Horus's response.
He would just like, he would do that strategy.
Horus looks like a good idea to be honest.
Yeah.
I cut all my traitor brothers.
They're all simps.
That's Horus right there.
Here you go Horus.
Yeah.
Alright next though.
I feel like it's kind of on a similar vein.
But who is the most likely to start an NFT grift?
Alpharius.
Sure.
100%.
Gotta be.
Serpent coin, we can completely circumvent the imperium economy.
Serpent coin, we'll never lie to you.
It's going to the moon.
Trust me bro.
And Omegas would actively pump and dump the coin while Alpharius was kind of doing it.
Yeah.
Like you have like Alpacoin and Omega coin working against each other.
Who'd you win?
Yeah.
I think Fulgrim could.
I think Fulgrim because he would fall for it.
And then he would double down.
Yeah I think Alpharius would be like the Bitcoin but Fulgrim would be the NFTs.
Well I was going to say Fulgrim is the only fans guy.
He's just like I made a load of money, now I'm going to put it in the market.
Surely.
Only Phoenician.
Very good.
Turns out like they're like oh it's all for the you know the regular humans and it's like why are the Astartes subscribing?
I think Leman Russell would be the one to buy an NFT.
I think Alpharius could convince him to get one.
Yeah but he'd buy it because he's just dumb.
Well yeah that's what I mean.
You have to be dumb.
Alpharius would rug Fulgrim for sure.
Fulgrim's not gullible.
I don't know where his entire fall is just because of block convenience.
He's not gullible but Alpharius is Alpharius and so whenever a deception is the name of the game, Alpharius wins because of Alpharius.
If it's corrupted Fulgrim then yeah he'll fall for it.
You could sweet talk Fulgrim into doing it and he'd be like oh we know Alip Tyssen because of you and he's like yo, me?
You're going Phoenician coin is going to the moon.
Yeah whatever mate.
And Gilliman is just like you need to invest in a Roth IRA or a Stocks and Shares ISA.
Go slow and steady, the market will predict.
It's had a 10% increase every year and then Fulgrim's going like come join my coin.
Yeah I think they could like try and do a joint project with like Alpharius and Fulgrim but they would definitely like double cross Fulgrim.
And actually take all the money.
Yeah right.
Yeah but he would never, he'd be like, he'd again he'd make that with the infamous YouTube apology video which is like not an apology.
Yeah.
I think he'd just be like.
I'm sorry I feel bad but I am keeping the money.
I'm sorry I didn't die again, but I'm not gonna do that.
Mr Mike said he's out of this but Zeke would convince Magnus to buy all the NFTs and that's going to be the next big thing.
And he would totally do it.
No Magnus wouldn't buy the NFT, he'd say it's stupid and wrong and then buy a shit coin instead.
He's not winning.
He's just going to be losing slightly harder.
His defining character flaw is hubris, so he would inevitably fall.
Fulgrim coin but it's like Fulgrim would 100% just like, he would screw people over and I just think he's too prideful to even apologize for it so you know.
Yeah.
And if his face is on it as well NFT is perfect for him.
Yeah, a whole collection of like Fulgrim art.
Sure, that's probably because that was.
Which would be weird.
The Fulgrim Taurus would like peddle Alpharis' coin on this alpha male podcast.
Definitely.
Hi guys welcome to the Looper cast.
Season two.
This week's sponsor is a dear friend of mine.
He's a brother.
That's so good.
100% I think so.
I think it's poor Colin I think Colin might be having internet issues but he'll be with us I'm sure.
If you're still there.
Surely internet can't be worse than Australian internet.
I'll add him back when I see his face again.
What's the next one.
All right.
Next one, who is most likely to drop out of school?
Kers.
I never went to school I didn't need to drop out.
Russ would do it too.
Yeah.
I mean, Kers wouldn't be dropped out of school he would be kicked out.
True, true.
Like why your classmates on the ceiling.
You know I mean, and not in a good way.
I mean, the lion will be so argumentative back in terms of like he just like you're wrong.
It's just like the team tell the teacher you're straight up wrong.
You vile scum or something.
Drop out, drop out as the keyword part in it, because.
Yeah.
Oh man, tough one.
Who thinks they're too good for school.
That's the big thing.
Magnus.
I think I think Gillerman wouldn't like would skip school.
There he is.
Thank you.
I think yeah Gillerman would be one.
The question was Colin, who's most likely to drop out of school.
Yes, fully or negative.
Here's, here's the fatal flaw in your, your argument how Gillerman wouldn't drop out because he wouldn't get the credit, he'd get the credit and he'd do other.
And he would, he would get the credit and he would like be top of his class and do things on the side, he, Gillerman would never drop out of anything he do the clean way, he'd master.
He'd do the sweep and be like what's next, he wouldn't drop out.
He would do school, like seven years of school and like one.
Yeah, yeah.
One month.
Yeah, I think we leave and Russ would drop out and things would just magically work for him.
Correct. I feel like Leman Russ would be the one that sneaks out and gets like food for everyone and brings it back to us. Yeah, but also Leman Russ in his stories often says about like, I'm just kind of putting on a facade I'm not really like a wolfy barbarian fella, I'm actually kind of smart.
I'm just doing this to save.
I'm just doing this to save face. So like, Russ, Russ has a lot more going like he was like Malkador's best spud like he has a lot more going on under the surface he's putting on a facade.
Angra would be kicked out to, I think Horace would drop out of school successfully.
Makes sense to me. I think Leman Russ, like getting perfect grades and like never turning out with his knee. Oh yeah. Oh, that's me bro. I'm that guy.
I'm that guy. Yeah, it's him. College classes. I hope you step on Lego man.
God, man. I was never I had to try man, and I was just for average.
I wasn't very smart. I would miss him.
We will, we will make Warhammer content you know. Leman Russ would never show up and he would just get good grades.
Horace would be successful. Who would drop out unsuccessfully with like with no plan and they would go Mortarion.
Angra would expel again because he just he's just yelling in the corner of the room.
I guess expel doesn't count as dropping out. I wouldn't say Mortarion because when he was like even living on his own planet he was like reading his like tower of what's his Rapunzel tower but completely wrong.
Like the necromancer Lord gave him books and stuff to read and it was all he had to say. He was studious. He knew what he was doing. It's all like, because I just I am the knight. I go out and beat people up and kill them.
I don't know in chances Faeris drops out to do manual labor and I think that's so that's very true. Yeah, Faeris drops out and does construction for the rest of his life. Yeah, but he also lived in a cave.
He was a spider monster and had metal arms. So like manual labor seems like a pretty good like it's like that meme of like don't go to college, go into the go into the trades and make like a billion bucks a year. If I was like, oh yeah, I don't even need machine.
It is like it is actually pretty popular in Australia to like drop out at grade 10 when usually we go to grade 12 and do like a trade instead.
In the UK, my year was the last year that was allowed to do that. Now it's mandatory to be staying in education till 18. After that you can mess up your life if you want. You know what I mean? You can do whatever you guys want.
Hell hates poor people.
I mean after you're 18 you can go do anything. I hope you never have a plumbing issue. It is.
I wasn't linking that I meant in general.
Oh man, I say more Tarian just because I know Annie said like, it was because more Tarian was like, he was locked up. It was a prison legit Rapunzel prison for him so I think he would he'd be happy to drop out.
I mean he literally ran away from home to go start a little rebellion.
You know, little rebellion in the sort of time. Are we going to forget that he also was good mates with Magnus because they like they worked together on things.
More Tarian.
A little bit because Magnus taught him sorcery and stuff. He has a mind for studying.
And he was like, he wasn't like Pertorabo. He didn't underestimate his learning potential because like Pertorabo is like you have a cheat code in your brain like I know the answers to all the tests because I know how everything is built innately.
But like more Tarian is like, ah, I'm a bit cringe. I'm a wizard.
And then Magnus is like, don't worry bruh. Wizards are not cringe. He's like, really? I'll teach you how to be a mage.
You're a wizard. I'm like he learned how to be a wizard already. I'm a what? You're a harkin wizard. And like more Tarian learned sorcery. He has a mind for intellectual pursuits.
It's just he grew up in a bad situation. Whereas like Kers just dropped into Nocturne into Nostromo and he was just like, I'm going to skin some people.
Where are you going to school? School is cringe. Like, okay. Or more Tarian because, you know, he did he was educated but by the evil version of Dobby.
Evil Dobby, his dad. He loves war crimes. I'm gonna say successfully drops out of school as like Pertorabo just because again like he actually doesn't need to be educated.
He literally his brain is filled with complete plans of he can build anything because he knows how things work immediately.
So I don't think he even needs school. So he'd be like, I'm just gonna get out and do my own thing. You know, I don't think any others could survive.
To be fair though, Tom Warren raises a valid point. Didn't the first person see Kers try to eat him? Yeah.
Enjoy school.
I would have with a few donors I think to me as well. Just a few. Some are relevant to the question.
Colin, do you want to take this one?
Nicknack35872 don't worry only like 95% of us here.
I mean that's, that leaves like 10 people or something.
Hello, network host. Thank you for the two. Sorry Eli. Fulgrum is the amaranth of the Primark. Don't say that about Fulgrum.
Do you think Fulgrum would be like Hawk to a girl?
Oh come on.
I mean, Hawk, Phoenician, Hawk to a girl.
Yeah.
Oh my god. I can't lie about that.
I'm pretty sure he said spit on that thing.
Fulgromix is fine, don't worry about it. Coffee grounds for snorting. That's new. It's my first time catching a live stream.
Am I to assume the anime person is Colin Steering?
No, because I don't network ever at all and I sit in a bubble.
No, I wasn't asked to come on this podcast. I just like showed up.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm the Lincoln, just here now.
This is actually our manager.
Producer.
Nicknack again for 3587 for five bucks. The Colin would drop out. That's a good point.
He'll be at the 10 year reunion and you don't know what he does, but he's mysteriously successful.
Bro is living his best life.
Maybe.
I think he still lives in a tent.
What's wrong with that?
What's wrong with tents?
I hate sport people once again.
Now you're going to say that hammocks aren't cool.
He's living in a yurt and he's happy. He spent five grand on a yurt and he has no living expenses.
Five grand on a yurt.
He's not paying any tax. He's having a great time. He's drinking milk.
He goes on rides with his bros.
I hate the nomads.
He has more money to put on cars.
Yeah, he's hot rodding every single day. He has a billion cars. It's fine.
How nice is he a tricked out yurt? Who would have thought he was a tricked out yurt?
Isn't Matthew McConaughey living like a trailer thing?
He just wanders around. That guy is successful. He does what he wants.
I don't know. That guy doesn't even... I don't think he's not playing the same game we're all playing.
Exactly. Just let the calm.
Cancel the bridge.
Damn.
I have the last two questions here.
Okay.
All right. Who is most likely to have a parasocial relationship with a VTuber?
I was going to say Paul Grimber. My brain is saying there must be another one.
Pegah, who do you think?
I would say Lion has insult energy.
Can I proffer a suggestion? What about Rogal Dawn?
He's on the surface. He's all just get the job done. No emotion.
When he's done defending the wall, he's just like, shame my name.
I feel like Rogal Dawn has so much energy. There's so much demanded of him.
He's a boy and he does the job. But deep down, he's also like, I'm so boring. I'm so boring as a Primark that I have no personality.
So I have to send donations to get some kind of life.
I feel like Rogal Dawn would be a whale. I think he would give big donors. He'd be the rich finance guy.
He'd never openly be ungentlemanly. But when it's him and his laptop, he's like, 50 buck donation.
I'm a really cool guy. I'm a really good guy. He'd be like, I don't know if you heard, I saved all of Holy Terror. I'm a really good guy.
I know you and your boyfriend broke up. This is awkward. I'm a really nice guy.
This isn't... Rogal Dawn would never go to a bar. Come on. He'd build one. He'd build one, but he'd never go to it. Leave Dawn alone. Leave Dawn be.
I think for Rogal Dawn, I think he's so stout-hearted and just so kind of nice in a way. I think he wouldn't even acknowledge if someone was a VTuber or had an anime profile picture or anything.
I think he would treat you exactly the same. But it would just be a normal conversation to him. Be like, I see.
I couldn't fathom him going, you have cat ears.
Yeah. I think he'd be too gentlemanly. I think he'd be parasitical.
He'd be respectful.
I like the intro.
In the public, when he's just called Wall Builder 59. The veneer is gone.
I feel like Andy's got a target site.
Yeah. I don't know. I think you've caught up with Fanfic now.
Corax goes off simp, says Mr. Mike. I guess you can take Corax between a simp.
Alpharius already probably has a VTuber thing. He's already one getting the doughnuts.
He's catfishing already.
Alpharius has a network of integrated AI with VTuber technology.
He has dozens and dozens of channels that are self-perpetuating and making him social credit and also revenue.
He's just like, I leave that to do what it does. It's all self-automated because that's Alpharius. That's what he does.
Yeah, absolutely. He would be the cause of dead internet. He would make so many AI channels.
Magnus could probably magic himself into one. I think he'd probably...
Yeah, I don't think he needs to be a VTuber.
For no apparent reason. What's the ones in Magic Pony? Magnus would be... He's already tried something and he looked like he had been avatarized.
Magnus would be one of those YouTubers or Twitchers or whatever that gets into a scandal because he's like, ah, through magic he's so hot, but he has no social skills.
And so he gets in scandal after scandal after scandal. This guy's the worst because he doesn't know what it's like to be ugly. That guy is dick to everyone.
Poor Magnus just accidentally... What's the one where you show someone's address or something?
Docs.
Also, what is it with Magnus and being like, I'm the master of magic. I can't repair one eye. Come on, dude. Up your game. It's just an eyeball. Come on.
It's special.
What's everyone going to say then?
I like the lie in it.
The lie itself.
The lie or a core.
The lie or core.
It would probably be the lie just because he's intrigued.
I just think he would be intrigued.
What about Gullivin? He's into like, Eldar.
No, no.
Gullivin has a girlfriend already. He's fine.
It's long distance though.
Yeah, I think he has space for a Vtuber in his life.
You know what? He was resurrected after 10,000 years and was in the gutter.
That man was... If Abaddon came screaming from the top rope, he maybe wouldn't dodge for a little bit.
You know what I'm saying?
Could you imagine 10,000 years of blue balls, even though it's the Ultramarine's blue balls? That's a crazy situation.
Colin, would you like to read out your comment, Colin?
Yeah, I wish Gullivin was in my gutter.
I didn't want to interrupt, but I also had to get that one out there.
Really? Gullivin out of an older Primus?
I don't come onto your channel and judge your taste. Why won't you leave me the fuck alone?
This is his favorite. It's his boy.
I like his face, Roman. Let me be.
It's his daddy.
Gullivin is like...
Next one.
Oh, sorry, Gullivin. Next one.
All right. Well, who are we agreeing on? Lion, fairly?
The Lion, I think.
All right. My last question is who is most likely to be on the Law Crimes podcast?
This is a bad question because it depends on the evening.
Is it just your favorite Primark?
I'm going to go out left field here.
Lorgar.
Law Crimes is basically...
Yeah, I mean, it's in the name.
Well, all I'm going to say, he's been going on 10,000 years. He's going to be yappy.
So he wants to get on a podcast. He wants to get on the best podcast, which is one.
Real.
Two, he's a bit of a heretic.
And as much as we have a veneer of respectability of like, we're all law guys, more or less.
Look at us. He'd be like, I want to spread the word of heresy.
Would you want to get him on though?
No.
I think he would send us a lot of emails. Like, let me on.
And that's my answer.
I feel like it would be like dragging your face over cut glass.
Lorgar comes up after you, Andy.
All I was going to say, like, for example, Gillerman, he would be on much more respectable podcasts because he has like,
he has skills at like accountancy, empire building. Like he'd be on like every like political, financial or whatever like podcast about how to raise and secure money, how to like solve this war or that war.
Like a master class.
He would have a master class series.
Yeah.
We'll take Lorgar because that's what we can get.
No.
Every time Lorgar comes up, I'm reminded that I worked in a church for six years. I don't think it'd be that bad with Lorgar.
It wouldn't. It wouldn't.
Because at some point he's like, have you heard of our Lord and Savior, the Chaos God?
By the way, you guys ever thought, you know, wouldn't it be great if you could just sacrifice your neighbors on the weekend, and it would immediately manifest gold in front of you?
Like, what do you guys think about that? He would just leave that with us and he would leave the chat.
It'd be great.
And then Aaron would join in, you're like, oh no, who's this guy?
I want to, okay, go through it. Lion? No.
But Lion's just like us, bro.
We can't have another, we need a balance. We need someone who's not going to say weirder stuff than me, who's not funnier than the rest of us, essentially, but he's not more handsome, so it's distracting.
You know, I mean, we need a balance.
Can't have Fulgrum, too handsome, way too handsome for us.
He's in our chat.
Fulgrum would be our NSFW version.
Yeah.
Fulgrum would bring his chat to our chat and that would be terrible.
Lord Crimes After Dark.
Fulgrum comes onto the kick stream.
Oh God.
It can't be Horace, because Horace is too cool for us.
And that would make us look less cool, which is obviously horrific.
Horace would look at the subscriber count and be like, I'm gonna need subscribers.
Oh, thanks Horace.
Sanguinus is too nice.
Vulcan and Sanguinus would be nice, but they make us look like worms.
They're too normal.
I think Vulcan can do it.
You think they're too cool for Warhammer lore?
I think Vulcan can be fine, because he's obviously incredibly nice and he'd be really good to be around.
He's also completely rocked Eldar Child into paste, so he's got a dark past.
And so he's willing to make the dark humor jokes.
He's like, you know, that one time I did that thing, you know.
He's willing to be the dark horse, you know what I mean?
I think Vulcan could fit in.
Dorn and Giliman.
I mean, if we had both of them.
Do you have any stories to tell us about the Siege of Terror?
And Dorn would say, yes.
Leave Dorn alone.
And that would be Dorn.
I'm not being mean, I'm being honest.
The unfortunate thing is Dorn is the real alpha male podcast, but he's not an alpha male podcast.
I hate it here.
I have to say Vulcan, otherwise I'm just going to kick myself.
If it's Lorgar, I promise you, if it's Lorgar, I'm taking a back step.
I think it'd be Lorgar or the lion, just because the lion's also not.
People would say it's Lorgar, bro, he's so annoying.
He's not.
He's a flat chaser.
If you read his books, underneath that, you know, like the glorious facade of him, is a little itch.
It's every brymark.
Eli Collin, I have a fair point to bring up to Hal's defense.
Lorgar would look at our podcast and look at how Hal is simping Lorgar and then want to join the podcast.
He'd be like, oh, he's my guy.
He's in my corner.
I can spread all the heresy.
I mean, I don't know what would be a good fit for us, but I think Vulcan, like in terms of people you'd actually want to talk to, I don't know who you choose, like Pekka, but like just probably want you to actually want to have a conversation with and be interesting.
I think Vulcan should be a nice, he's a cool dude.
Vulcan would be chill.
Yeah.
What about Russ is probably a little bit too much of a bro for us, probably.
Yeah.
Vulcan would be chill and then Russ would come on.
How much do you bench?
And I'd be like, ah, beta.
Leave me alone.
You guys aren't wearing your pelts that he bought us.
I knew merch is pelts.
I would absolutely wear the Russ pelts.
I sent you some dead animal skins in the post that I didn't treat.
Ah, is that why the parcel smelled?
Yeah.
Have you worn them?
Nah.
Sorry mate.
I noticed you're not using your mammoth task.
Oh man.
No, yeah, we couldn't make it a drinking stream if we're not just here.
I'd say Vulcan for that one.
Vulcan, mate.
I think that was, we managed to get through like, that's a big amount.
Eli, do you want to sprinkle in some short ones?
Sure.
Yeah, short ones.
Finish and tie it off in a bow.
We already did the Reddit one.
Who, which primer would be the most likely to make a devastating mistake that results
in the deaths of millions only to shrug and say, nobody's perfect.
Magnus.
Yeah.
Several times.
It wouldn't be Magnus because he wouldn't say nobody's perfect.
I'm perfect.
Yeah.
Depends which primoc is most likely to say whoops.
Like that's the key.
Oh, good point.
Vulcan moments after burning a child to death.
Po buddies nerfers.
Oh, here's, here's one for how have we decided?
We haven't decided.
We got to make a decision.
I'm gonna go Vulcan.
Yeah, I think he would see, he would say nobody's, but I mean, he did great.
I feel like, I feel like the lion recently is like, I made a whoopsie during the heresy.
Like lions mellowed a lot with age.
And now there's a correlation usually in Warhammer.
Well, I, the, the further back the hairline, the more evil they are.
But with the lion, like it's not, it's not gone that way.
He's aged.
That tie when Lannister hairline, which I'm sure we're all in towards, but you know,
I've never seen Game of Thrones.
He's, Colin's not what anything I swear to God.
I watched Transformers.
He's so real for that.
He's so weird.
It is actually good.
Why?
Because I love Transformers.
Transformers one, two and three or four.
Even Renge of the Fallen.
Renge of the Fallen is not pink.
I watched the first one.
I literally remember nothing about that.
You don't remember Bumblebee pissing on a dude?
No, I don't.
The first and the third movie are okay.
That's it.
How old were you guys when the first one came out?
Like eight maybe?
What year did it come out?
Probably ten.
God, I don't think I was.
I loved that movie as a kid.
Favorite freaking thing.
That was a big deal.
The movie came out in 2007.
I was eight.
I was seven.
I was 17 or 16.
I was a teenager.
Wow.
All right, let's go to the next one.
This one's for Hal.
Which Primark would be most likely to laugh at farting on my roommate's door?
More Darwin.
Pega, do you know what we're talking about?
Do you have another tab up you can type on YouTube?
You're fucking kidding me.
Type onto YouTube.
Is it something I want to search?
Yeah, it's fine.
On YouTube, farting on my roommate's door.
That's kind of an early joke I made when the first one came out.
I don't want Mortarian to be an option.
We've got to choose someone other than Mortarian.
He's easy to cop out.
He's too easy.
Ross, did you find it funny?
If you have that, just listen to that because it's less than a minute long, but it's all the context needed.
I did not mean many words for that to show up for me.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Law of Crime Z is finest.
The low quality is the best part.
Let's go real quick if we have time to sprint through.
Go for it.
What Primark most likely to shill for Raid Shadow Legends.
I don't know.
Hear me out.
Gilliman.
Because Indomitas Crusade requires a lot of money.
I do like Gilliman.
Raid Shadow Legends is actually a mediocre game, but you'll get enough out of it.
You can play as these heroes.
It's very good.
I spent 20 hours on this.
It's fine.
Please buy it or download it so that I can pass.
I don't think you'd be that desperate.
All right.
I will take that one.
Ten for different.
Trailer.
They're all like, oh, victory.
And Gilliman is literally jaded one year later.
Like, victory.
They say we're winning.
Oh, this sucks.
Raid Shadow Legends, please give me money for the Indomitas Crusade.
I need it.
Like that's Gilliman.
He'll do what he needs to do.
I feel like Dawn would do it.
He'd do it because he was told to do it.
Raid Shadow Legends is a game.
I've not played it.
I don't play video games because I like to make drawings of buildings.
I'm Rogal Dawn.
I support this message.
Huge.
It's convinced me.
We'll have to probably say Gilliman though.
Because he would probably do it.
I can't imagine any of them.
I can't think of any better one.
I just let the idea of them doing an advert in that society.
Hi.
You may remember me from the betrayal of Kalf and the Indomitas Crusade.
I'm Rubutei Gilliman.
I support this message.
You're the guy from the...
What?
I'm Troy McClure.
You may remember me from...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Gilliman is that guy.
I was everywhere.
It's fine.
I've been to every Primark other than Horus and survived.
What does fart poppy mean?
What does that mean?
I don't want to talk about whatever that is.
Next question.
All right.
I got a few.
We could just do one of them.
Who is the Primark most likely to tell me everything will be okay?
Sanguinus.
Sanguinus, definitely.
Yeah.
My wife.
Yeah, Vulcan's too.
Sanguinus is...
I didn't know he wouldn't.
Sanguinus knows.
He's not going to be okay.
Wait, wait, wait.
Maybe Sanguinus would be more genuine about the situation.
Yeah.
Sanguinus would say that even if you had the red first.
He's like, shh, shh, shh.
He's like, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go.
He's like, shh, shh, shh.
Everything's going to be okay.
Don't worry.
Like that's Sanguinus.
Right.
I think he'd give you like a truth that you need to hear, but don't want to.
I think Sanguinus would have open communication.
He's a good boy.
Vulcan would give you the lie you need.
Yeah.
And then put you to sleep.
Look for my seven artifacts for the next 10,000 years and I'll come back.
Promise.
I don't know.
Vulcan's going to get, because I go ahead.
I think Russ would be the type where like you're in a bad situation and you're like, am I,
will I be all right?
And Russ is like, nah, you're fucked.
Yeah.
To be fair, Bjorn the Foul, I recently read the excerpt where Bjorn the Foul handed is
to the last moment he has with Russ and Russ is like, he goes through like a mental breakdown.
He's like, we're going into the eye of terror.
And he brings all of his guys and he just looks at Bjorn and goes, not you.
And he leaves.
And that would be like the last word he says to Bjorn.
He doesn't tell him why.
He just says, not you.
And he leaves.
And Bjorn has like an entire like complex about like, what does he mean by that?
And he's a dreadnought.
He's like, I still don't know what he meant by that.
Is it because I'm strong and because I'm the only one who could lead the chapter in his
stead or because he didn't care about me?
I don't know.
I'm a dreadnought.
Oh, poor Bjorn.
I wonder if you actually made those noises as a dreadnought.
I think we picked Vulcan for that one.
Is that the last one that we had Colin?
I mean, do you all want one more?
One more.
All right.
Primark most likely to be a sad alcoholic.
Gilliman cannot say rough.
He's a happy alcoholic.
Yeah, Corax or Gilliman.
Culver's Corax is already halfway there.
I'm just saying like, I love that meme artwork where it's Gilliman with the cigarette just
like.
Yeah.
That and a scotch is perfect.
Was that the one with like the Adams?
Ben Affleck.
Like, Transmorphed and together and he's like.
Yeah.
Dude is not coping.
What's his name?
Ben.
Affleck.
Ben.
Affleck.
Ben Affleck.
Yes.
That's the one.
Do you think like would smoke?
No, I think there's like one way to say it.
I think your lungs would heal too quick to do damage on you if you're a Primark.
You drink lead and it'd be fine.
Yeah, I mean, they're pretty much near and dear to me.
Unfortunately.
To give you an idea, like Mortarion, his adoptive dad who was a necromancer, put him in like
the Rapunzel tower and he put him just high enough that he struggled to breathe, but not
high enough to kill him.
And then he slowly grew the tower as he aged like, oh, what a dick.
Primarks can do crazy stuff, but like imagine like every night you go to bed like, I need
an inhaler.
That's me.
Most likely.
You crazy dick.
Super, super poison is, you know, there's only so much you can ask of a dude.
Yeah.
Do we have some more?
We have some final donos I think for the first one.
We have a few more.
Tom Warro.
Tom Warro for two bucks.
Don't worry how no one says where.
I've got a reputation.
Speaking of.
For the five bucks.
Damn it.
I missed most of the stream.
I couldn't do my routine stream late due to how gooning.
Still got it in at least.
That's grayshark77.
Thank you for the five bucks.
Curse would come on the podcast and say random stuff.
Guess he would.
He would be awful.
He'd be terrifying.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not going to lie.
Nicknack3587 for five bucks.
Curse because he'd understand all of this and then he'd bring his justice.
I don't know which one is more terrifying.
Oh yeah.
Cause if he's like, if he says something wrong, he's like, you committed a crime and then
you just see him leave.
You're not going to work.
He like leaves screaming.
Yeah.
You're trying to go to sleep one night and all you hear is like a sharpening of a knife
somewhere.
I mean, like, yeah, he's like, I just, I don't know what you do.
Honestly.
I had a, I had a weird nightmare though.
One which was like, it wasn't like it's not Primark related, but I had one where like
I had, um, I could, it describes it in some of the books is like some of them have like,
uh, like even Russ's eyes like glowing yellow or something.
They have like the wolf and thing.
I had to have a nightmare randomly once where I like, I thought there's a pair of yellow
eyes in the room that it was sort of unblinking in the corner.
I woke up, I'm like, Jesus, that was terrible.
Um, I was on the other side of my fridge.
It was the entire dream.
I felt so disappointed when I woke up.
I think, um, with that being said though, that was, we answered some, some Primark things.
I think we got no more about Primark, but unfortunately too much about ourselves this
episode.
Thank you for joining us on this one.
Thank you.
Uh, thank you for the prompt.
Thank you very much.
Appreciate it.
Uh, we should do, um, we did it before slightly, which was, um, peachy tips did a rating of
our models and we should do something because we have some, I say the rest of the boys here.
You know what we could do?
We could all paint a mini and then you guys could come on my stream.
We could paint, do a painting challenge.
That'd be very fun.
How, how, how many, how many, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't invite him.
Somehow that guy, that guy's an asshole.
He always wins.
Oh, P G I didn't mean to, I only spent two minutes on this, but do you see how, do you
see how the coral reflects off of the rustic metal of my iron hands of Ferros?
Oh, it only took me an afternoon, but it's really good.
He can, he can only use it.
Oh yeah.
He's doing the thing.
I can't see it.
Focus on that.
Is it too small?
But it's very pretty.
I have my vote as well, which is like really put it away, put it away.
Hold on.
So that, that, that was, that was law crimes.
Everyone.
We hope you had a lovely time, Pega.
It was great to have you on the podcast.
But for everyone who's watching, we hope you had a lovely time too.
Watch Transformers.
We have some more guest lines.
Don't watch, don't watch Transformers.
The third one is good.
Don't watch Transformers.
Fuck you.
It's not a bad show.
It's a good movie.
It's bad.
It actually helped for this.
Anyway.
Wait, can I ask, hold on.
Am I the first female on your podcast?
Female.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yes.
I noticed the chat was going a little, a little crazy.
They're like, oh, woman?
Oh, I mean the stuff they say about us, there's a, there's a guy who stares like he's, oh,
he's begging me to say the N word every street.
That's the level we're at.
So I wouldn't bring that up with you.
No one.
Yeah.
I mean, it's all right.
I'm not actually a woman.
All Vtubers are men with voice filters.
You heard it here first, folks.
You heard the, the, the authority on all Vtubers ever.
But we hope you all had a lovely time.
We had a good time.
It was good fun.
It's always good fun to talk about Primarks.
And we hope to see you again next week where we will talk about other stuff.
But anyway, thanks everyone.
Bye bye.
Bye everyone.
Bye nerds.