Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.
Welcome back to Lore Crimes.
Hello gamers.
Evening brothers.
Evening.
We're excited for this one, aren't we?
So we're doing something a bit weird today, aren't we, Hal?
We're not doing a Warhams.
The four Warhams men are not doing the Warhams.
That's weird.
No, we're doing...
What's going on?
You think...
When people first learn about Warhammer 40k and you're like, oh man, it's so gritty and
dark and it's nothing like Star Wars or anything like that.
Now with this something new, there's a new kid on the block and it's even grittier and
darker than Warhammer 40k.
So we're introducing everyone here to Trent's Crusade, which is at the time is kind of in
its infancy, but they've already established so much heavy lore and atmosphere.
And I think a lot of Warhammer fans will particularly gel with it because it's pretty much like
everyone knows you're your ventress, like Dead Sky Black Sun.
Is that the entire setting?
Demonculaba is here.
Everyone gets a Demonculaba.
For fun.
Oh great.
Yum.
No, but it is, I think it's genuinely like really fascinating.
I think a lot of people who are into Warhammer as well, we all come maybe from like a history
like sort of background or at least an enjoyment of history or in some way some of us are all
Catholics at heart.
But this one is particularly...
I'm confirmed.
What do you mean at heart?
This is for all you Catholics out there.
Shout out to the Catholics.
Today we're going to talk about Trench Crusade.
We're going to go through this massive like lore primer that they've released so far.
Hopefully one day maybe even we could add stuff to it because that would be really cool.
But it's like it's literally being created in front of our eyes.
So we will be discussing the incredible setting and the lore and bring you to this new Grim
Dark universe, which there aren't really too many.
I guess 4K really kind of stands out there.
This one is incredible, I think at least.
And Eli, I believe is...
I mean Eli, we've cooked something up.
Eli, are you ready to bring Andy and Colin Ankle first into the Crusade Trenches?
Can I just draw attention to some unfortunate things in the chat?
And by that I mean the person with the username shellaxieswettestgripper saying make your
bed Colin so I can shart your sheets.
Oh god.
Nothing more grim dark than lore crimes chat.
I love being here.
I love this podcast, but sometimes I read the chat and I think, you know...
We should burn it all down.
What would you like without it?
You know damn well that came from a family man as well.
You know damn well.
Kids are on the sofa and he's just looking down the street.
He's on his phone with an air phone in like hehehehe.
Brother, well, if you're here to confess your sins in chat or if you're here to listen to
some absolvement or, you know, this is a confessional because right now we're gonna...
No it's not.
In the spirit of Catholicism, go the fuck to church you animals.
None of you will survive the Inquisition era.
I'll take the whole of your hangar mate.
Shall we, Eli, shall we delve straight into it though?
Because I think, if I know, Andy doesn't know a huge amount, do you Andy?
I literally know there is a thing called Trench Crusade and there's overtones of Catholicism
and grim dark.
That's the extent of my knowledge.
I am here for the rest of this episode.
I'll be eating chocolate and drinking wine and just enjoying myself.
Very nice.
Yeah.
Very nice.
So everyone sit back and relax.
I will say this video is outdated already because the Trench Crusade people post new
units and lore on their Instagram like every other day.
So this is not a deep dive into every single thing they've made because our stuff is already
long enough and we don't want to be here for five hours.
But we're just gonna go through the lore primer lore, which is free on the internet by the
way.
So if you want to read or follow along, which was kind of what we're talking about, don't
check it out.
The lore book also has lore and it's also free to all the rules and stuff like that
are free, which is pretty nice.
Lots of cool artwork to see.
Okay.
Do we want to read donations before we start or do you want me to read a little bit and
then we think maybe we will get going and then we'll start ripping.
I will start simply with the timeline.
I'm just going to read this straight out of the PDF because it might as well.
The timeline starts in 1099, the zenith of the first crusade when they captured Jerusalem.
The Knights Templar commits the act of ultimate heresy and the gate of hell is opened on earth
and Jerusalem is destroyed in this cataclysm.
In 1101, the year of three battles ensues.
Heretics are reinforced by the armies of the third circle of hell and they conquer most
of the Levant.
The year after that, the ancient city of Antioch is fortified and becomes the focal point of
resistance against the forces of hell.
Four years later, Qobar becomes the first tyrant of the 66th.
1109, the great sultanate of the invincible iron wall of the two hordes that pierced the
sky, Kuhl's name for anything ever, they form that.
In the coming decades, the unified Islamic factions and the great wall of Iskander re-emerges
and is fortified against the heretics.
Then 1117, the legendary 17 martyrs travel to the earthly domains of hell to convert
the heretics.
Captured, tortured, and kept in a perpetual state of agony, they remain trapped within
white-hot brazen bulls to this day.
Also disclaimer, the timeline is brief and incomplete and biased.
In 1165, the old man in the mountain and his Hashashins defend the mountain fortress of
Alamut and the castle stands through this very day despite being besieged for hundreds
of years.
In 1215-1306, the wars of triclavinianism, the church is split and fights a fierce internal
conflict.
Something like Protestants and Catholics, I imagine.
The heretic domains extend as the faithful fight against each other.
In 1346-1353, Beelzebub unleashes the Black Grail and tens of millions are infected, becoming
metastatic vessels in the worst plague in human history.
The corpse wars begin.
By 1429, living Saint John the Arch drives the Black Grail from mainland Europe.
1477, the city of Argos is taken by God and it is no more.
1503, war prophet Angelos, guided by Saint-
Wait.
What?
Now I'm curious because there's clearly like actual like, when you say taken by God, like
crusade conquered or just like you just-
I think it's just gone.
He took it.
I think it's just gone.
It's just like, you know, Monty Python has the big foot that just squashes, a hand just
goes yoink and everyone's like-
I think that's pretty much it.
I imagine that's what it is.
Was that God?
Yeah, that was God.
You've heard of the foot of God but here's the literal hand of God.
God, every single title is like a bloody metal album, isn't it?
Like Andy was saying.
It's just so good.
It is, that is the theme.
There's not a lot of story in this but there's a lot of grimdark.
That's kind of all it is right now but it's cool.
In 1503, war prophet Angelos, guided by Saint Elegius, something like that, discovers the
formula of Orichalum steel, Orichalum steel is probably how it's said.
Though extremely costly to produce, the metal proves to be effective against all missile
weapons and is still used today.
In 1545, the ancient city of Antioch is destroyed by a mysterious demonic weapon.
1573, sacred order of the dragon halts the heretic advance.
After the destruction of Byzantium, a million heretics are impaled in the hills of Olakia.
1595, new Antioch is completed.
1666 is the year of six woes.
In a surprise raid, the newly created heretic fleet captures Gibraltar and the sea fortress
becomes the heretic base of operations against Europe.
Forces of Hel gain access to the Atlantic.
1670, due to the constant coastal raids by the heretic fleet, the Crown of England begins
the construction of the fortress of the White Cliffs.
1703, against all odds, a small force of Hebrew knights, striking from their secret fortress,
destroy the Templar stronghold at Asir, Acre.
ACRE.
However you say that.
Acre.
ACRE.
Acre.
ACRE.
Acre.
ACRE.
Acre.
AC cleans the carefully PC front.
Acre.
ever. It's not as warm a knowledge as all we used to.
I have a degree in music so you're doing better than me.
Geez. All right, we're almost through the time alarm. 1805, the heretic fleet under the command
of High Captain Ranga defeats the fleet of England in the Battle of the Bloody Cliffs.
Admiral Nelson is slain in combat. Then 1866. Oh no, not my boy, not Nelson.
Rachel Nelson got it. Ripped to a real one.
Bro's literally in Trafalgar Square and now he's not gonna be in this time alarm.
Also something to note, the Americas is not colonized because there was no time,
because they're fighting hell. Yeah, I was wondering about that, but that does track.
Yeah, so America is nothing right now. Just for the painted.
Jay Chillin. Yeah.
I think it's full of people. Yeah, people are Jay Chillin.
Yeah, the natives. Yeah, other than that.
Oh, I thought you said just nature. I'm like, no, how I mean nature.
No, I'm not a native American. There's that British heart coming through.
Are you not for seeing? God, it's so empty.
All right, 1866. In utmost secrecy, heretic scientist aided by the demon
Marbus constructs the first modern submarines. The heretics have basically the entire sea,
other than one part of it, which I assume we'll get to because I don't remember.
In 1870, launched from Gibraltar, the heretic submarine fleets extract a heavy toll on the
merchant navy's widespread famine ensues. 1872, heretic forces storm the city of
Regica. It is fortified and heretic conquest is launched against the European mainland.
Like a bleak for the fellows. 1894, the year of broken trinity, the death commandos,
which are heretics, simultaneously assassinate the supreme pontiff, the high prophetess Aelia,
and the holy Roman emperor. Tough year. The faithful are thrown into turmoil.
The heretic legions commanded by hell's nobles of the seventh circle and a huge vanguard of tanks
launch a simultaneous lightning offensive in the Levant and Europe.
1899, church space program commences. Fighting demons on the moon. That's pretty cool.
1907, the construction of the moving fortress of Britannia is completed.
1910, is the battle of Cordoba, a bloody stalemate. Heretic artillery devastates the ancient city,
but the heretic forces fail to gain access in the heartlands of Hispania.
And 1914, is present day. Both sides are preparing for major offensive operations
in the huge swaths of no man's land. Furious skirmishes and raids increase in intensity
as the faithful and heretics vie for information, powerful relics, and securing strategically
important positions. And that's where the setting slash story really starts. So that's the timeline.
The rest is from my own notes that I won't read right off of the PDF.
But okay, I mean, we've actually got some, well, firstly, we have some artwork, I think,
of how most of the trenches look as well, because they are, it's ridiculous, like most of what like
the front line of got a whole selection for people to have a look through here.
Bro does not look good here.
It will look better in the re-edit.
Yes. It's more towards the other end, Andy.
What am I looking at? Because we've got this one.
There's like present day fighting no man's land stuff.
Yeah. And then we might have the moving fortress. I don't, I wasn't looking.
Oh, you sent me more. I missed these. Okay. Well, why don't we read out some donations before we
really get into it?
Damn, this shit is in fact a fortress that moves.
Yes, sir.
So let's get through this first. I'll start us off. Set. Hello, set. Good to see you. 499.
Some love for y'all for showing off my new favorite obsession, but curse you for starting
while I'm in a work meeting. Just watch. Just don't pay attention.
Sorry. Don't go to work.
Relax. He's wet as gripper. Thank you for the two.
Colin, you make me feel like my dad didn't leave.
I think that's a nice thing to say.
I think. Main event Virgil for two euros.
Late again. Did your parents teach you nothing?
They tried, but they failed. I guess.
Clearly we were all late to that. Donkey man USA.
Two bucks stream late due to how gooning to.
There it is. There it is. All right. All right.
Yeah. Trust them. Thank you, man. Thank you, Tom Warren for two dollars.
Who needs Primarchs when you can have meta Jesus's.
Like G's I what is the plural of Jesus?
G's I.
I'm sure.
It's strange in the setting because there was a Jesus and they kept him.
Mine.
Bunny caught for five bucks there.
Dollars for the dog. She gets treats.
The bed is hers and doesn't need to be made.
It's made enough and then she started going on the, you know, she started moving.
Shit is probably.
Adorable five pounds. No euros.
I caught it. I caught it.
It took me a minute side character and Godric and Felix or Caiaphas Kane,
which you got to go adventure together. Oh, God.
Also, thanks for all your content. Good into Eli's gains.
Well, thanks, pal.
Good on you for the last one.
For the first one, taking Caiaphas Kane, because he'll at least try to keep me alive.
I don't care.
Oh, I want to say Eli what has one.
Sure. Thank you for five dollars, Jack. And nothing here but based Christ build Chad's.
Also, I'm gay. Thank you.
The infamous infamous messages.
Skellar, the Underlord. Thank you for the fiber.
She wore on my hammer while I trench her crusade that.
Whatever you and your lover wish to do in the privacy of your own home, that's on you, man.
As long as it's a call that we don't mind.
Yep.
Keep it to yourself.
Joseph Pollard for 10 bucks. Yo, I'm glad you guys are covering trench crusade.
Hope we get a version of Hound of God to the setting.
It's about a guy in the 1300s that claimed werewolves are warriors of God and fight the
forces of hell. That would be amazing.
And sounds hard.
Space Wolves fan sounds like it.
Change your PFP. Looks like a new PFP. Joseph Pollard.
Yeah. Also for 10 months of membership.
Thank you. Wow.
Thank you.
I know they have people hunting tanks. Funny stuff.
Funny is a word for trench crusade.
They're just joking around. They're having a fun time.
Funny guys in the trenches having fun.
It's all creed.
Nicknack 3587 for five bucks. By the end of this iceberg, I'd like to hear which
trench crusade factions you boy and would find most interesting.
The Sultanate and the Ethiopian faction are my two favorites.
What is a boink?
I think it's supposed to say boys. I think you just
fingers slipped. Maybe not.
A better way down from the Ikea. So yeah, I like it.
Again, thank you.
Moons wanted.
It's true.
Colin Bean is for Colin.
Colin.
What? OK.
Purple sun to your Marathi body pillow.
Say five positive things about non-ultramarine space marines.
I mean, you just want me to go off. OK.
Give me a moment.
I think that the black the black rage is pretty goddamn cool.
Where you just go so far.
I guess mad, you just see everyone is Horace and just start ripping heads off.
I think that's pretty cool.
Wouldn't want to be around the blood angels ever for that reason.
But hey, it's cool.
You know, the.
Can I include the Genesis chapter?
No, hang on. I can I include the fine, fine.
Yes, you can.
I'm this is.
They say.
I.
We'll save that for later.
I think it's.
I will save that for later if we can't get the five.
We'll start at one.
I like the Imperial Fist, you know, unironically.
I like sand castles.
I like forts and they do more than that.
But no one cares anymore because the black Templars took all of Dorn's angry chis.
So it doesn't matter.
So I like I like the fists.
I think Dorn is actually a cool Primarch.
Fuck you.
Yeah, OK.
OK.
I would like to say, hey, if if it weren't for matching the gathering,
I would think the thousand sons are pretty, pretty sick.
You know, I do like to be a good wizard fact.
And they avoid the problem most wizards have, which is they're also, you know,
super soldiers so they can beat you in an arm wrestling contest, too.
Not often.
I wish I'd like the Dark Angels idea of having captured men of iron,
which I really feel is something that should be at all used or represented on the tabletop.
But I suppose that would be cool.
That complaints at GW for the space brains.
It's all positive.
Unfortunately, GW does not handle their own IP well.
And for the fifth one, I like.
Give me a minute.
We're getting there.
I think that the salamanders are a seven out of 10.
I'd like the salamanders for being a nice chapter,
and I think that's OK to like them for just being nice.
You know what?
I'm going to say it.
Oh, no.
OK.
Also, we have a kill us for two.
Eli, talk about the lines of Javier, please.
I will. They're on the list.
Don't worry.
And last of all.
Colum, I miss you.
My brother-in-law's name is Colum.
Thank you, H. Mila.
One more from Nick Neck.
Boiks is just more fun than saying boys.
That's it.
And Tom Kerber.
Colin likes fists.
And also for Colin, we now have AI songs for the Skaven and Gotrick and Felix.
I think there's a band just called Skaven.
So.
Respectable.
I think we have some.
Was it we got next, Eli?
I believe we're starting off with the actual like factions, isn't it?
Of Trench Crusade.
Kind of.
The face.
There's a little bit of history.
I'll get in.
And like summary.
But yeah, I'm just going to I'm not an expert enough on this.
I'm just going to read whatever in.
A band.
Oh, that was a picture.
Yes.
I saw a metal.
God damn.
So the audio listeners will describe it.
It's essentially is a mountain of trenches with cascading like church like towers, which are
molded from the bunker shapes and tanks.
I'm pretty sure the size of ships.
Have you guys ever seen the game Blasphemous?
Yes.
I would like to play it.
I.
It's the same.
It's like it's a I'll just I'll put a screen of it in the.
I mean, kind of.
Yeah.
It's like 2D because you got.
Yes, 2D and like the artwork is like the same kind of thing, like the, you know,
religious, like Catholic religious Christian imagery.
And I would say every time.
Yeah, it's pretty similar.
That was just like every time I see Trench Crusade stuff, I think of that game.
My friend loves that one.
Shout out to you, Matt.
I want to play it.
He's a huge.
The dude has completed every Dark Souls game in Bloodborne and every analysis for everything.
And God bless is on every single gamer.
I must admit, just just because I'm proud of myself for being me.
I recently replayed Dark Souls 3 and now I have I've got all the achieve.
It's for every Dark Souls game except for Dark Souls Scholar of the First Sin.
But I have got all the Dark Souls 2 original achievements.
So I'm so special.
And Andy, speak the truth.
Speak the truth.
You've been telling me over over these this Dark Souls.
All right.
The artwork.
The artwork, Andy.
Yeah, I'm just.
So basically I've been playing Dark Souls 3 again and I've got to admit I was not very happy when I was replaying it.
And now I think the Dark Souls 2 is better than free.
It's a huge win.
A huge win, a huge win, a huge win.
Dark Souls 2 continues to win.
Dark Souls 1 is still the OG.
It's still the best.
But I'm now like I need to replay two because I need to get all the miracles and hex and pyromancy achievement.
That's all I've got left, which needs two playthroughs.
But I will get it done and I'll tell you what I think when I come back from that.
So we'll see.
Anyway, French Crusade.
All right.
OK.
So I'll read myself in a second.
I guess it's good to mention the factions, like the Christian factions and the Islamic factions, are definitely very heavily inspired by a long time ago.
The long time ago church like medieval era type stuff where there is definitely abusing of power.
It's very dark.
Definitely.
It's more into the mythology side of it rather than it's trying to legitimately portray these things.
Dreadonaut, bless your soul.
Dark Souls 2 mentioned Dread Missile.
Kong's gonna ban you, bro.
Dark Souls 2 is the combat man.
It's so slow.
It's peak.
Dragon peak.
Dreadonaut, I'm going to find you.
Oh, my gosh.
All right.
OK.
Chad, what happened to the Albigensians?
I'm going to let's get into it.
Let's get into it.
No more Dark Souls talking.
That wasn't Dark Souls.
I don't know what it is.
It was just a goof.
It was a little bit of a religious massacre.
Just kill them all and let God sort them out.
OK.
I do know what that is.
Never happened before.
Crazy.
Shout out to Catharsis.
We're all about that entrenched crusade.
I know certainly.
OK.
All right.
We're ready now.
So the Great War has raged for eight centuries,
and this has brought with it an eight-century long arms race.
Because of the followers of Saint Eligius,
the patron saint of metalworks, weaponsmiths, and armors of the Holy Sea
have produced steel alloys imbued with divine light,
metals more malleable and harder than any normal steel.
The cost is truly incredible,
but suits of armor capable of halting a hail of bullets can be made.
So melee is viable, just like Warhammer.
The heretics, on the other hand,
have gained the means to hellish metals from the twisted crucibles of Tartarus.
These materials are far greater than mundane steel,
but come at a terrible cost.
Armoring weapons created by such unholy material
burns the body and the soul, leaving horrendous wounds that shall never heal.
Colossal machines of war are produced on both sides,
such as the titanic artillery pieces of New Antioch that exceed 300 feet.
The most horrific of these creations is the Mouth of Hell,
which measures at a terrible 666 feet long and boasts 1,666 millimeters in caliber.
Just let it happen.
Because of the great advances of armor, melee remains viable,
yet the bolt-action rifle remains the most commonly used weapon on the battlefield.
Other such firearms are still available, albeit rare,
while stranger weapons also have a place in the never-ending war.
Experimental anti-material rifles, blades of eternally burning fire,
living bullets, heavy flame throws that belch flames from the lake of fire,
and more can all be found upon the scarred war zone.
Of course, holy icons, symbols, cursed trinkets, and unholy artifacts are all used constantly.
Modern pills are taken by many trench crusaders.
These bring about a war against pain and exhaustion,
but extract a brutal toll after their effects wear off.
That brings down many of the enemies of the faithful with them.
Trench pilgrims often wear iron caparots that shield their minds from horror and provide a gas mask.
I tried to find more actual lore in the martyrdom pills,
but it just says the same thing in the rulebook.
I assume you explode or something when it wears off,
but it doesn't actually say, I wish I could tell you.
You have to do a bit of a Dark Souls item description, it's like, hmm, martyrdom, I wonder, maybe?
I have an idea.
I'm about to make a name for myself.
Oh my gosh.
I'm about to make a name for myself.
So be y'all.
Hey Chad, watch this.
Oh man.
Okay, let's see, where are we going?
Okay, the equipment is gets even stranger, however,
and there's more elite forces such as the observers of the Synod of Strategic Prophecy,
dudes that can hear the voice of God and see the future, basically.
I'll talk about them later though.
The Principality of New Antioch is the main
base of operations, I suppose you could say, for the faithful that has stood for 300 years
as the focal point for the faithful who reside at the Shadowed Edge cast by the Gate of Hell.
It is the bulwark, the defender, and the hope against the heretics.
Should New Antioch fall, all the Levant would be lost.
The original city of Antioch was destroyed by a demon weapon in the year 1545,
but the faithful never truly retreated and fought on within the ruins.
Even as Constantinople fell, the warriors of Antioch slain the city of Antioch,
Antioch still held on. Before the city fell, it resided in a region steeped in nonstop war
and was always the first line of defense against the devil's forces.
In 1559, the Sword Congress of Vienna agreed to rebuild Antioch and that a yearly tithe was to be
sent by all faithful nations. This levy is rarely that of coin, but instead an endless supply of
foodstuffs, tools, ammunition, weaponry, machinery, skilled workers, and engineers from all across
Europa, the Mediterranean Sea, and the African dominions. Keeping the supply routes open requires
constant vigilance as heretic infiltrators and raiders constantly harry caravans and ships.
New Antioch now stands as the most important fortress city in the entire world. It has
withstood eight great sieges and its grand walls, which both 77 glorious towers, have never been
breached. Embedded in these walls, keeping a vigilant watch day and night are hundreds of
anchorites, metallic battlefries with devoted entombed within them.
Many citizens will regularly volunteer to serve under the banner of Christ, and these are the
lifeblood of the Principality. It is home to men and women from all corners of the world,
and one can observe dozens of different cultures in a single area, yet they are all unified by a
common cause. All within the city happens under the watchful gaze of the Office of the Propagation of
Virtue. They are strict and merciless, happy to allow revelries amongst the soldiers, but quick
to persecute even the slightest deviation from Church doctrine. The execution of heretics is
a weekly sight that is undergone in front of vast crowds. Within the Principality, a vast and
powerful industry finds its home. Factories spew black smoke as newly constructed war machines
emerge from the workshops day after day. Foundries work day and night to ensure the greatest pride of
New Antioch remains at full strength, that of its artillery battalions. Techno-laboratories see the
Church toiling away at creating the superhuman communicants, empowered by the cloned flesh and
blood of the Eucharist. Thousands of laborers give their lives in terrible accidents and overwork
each year, and great statues stand in celebration of their noble sacrifice. Despite its incredible
might and seemingly inexhaustible armies, the grim reality is that where the forces of hell ever to
unite, New Antioch would fall. Thankfully, the devils squabble and fight with each other, and
very rarely does one gain enough power to mount a full-scale invasion. The demons of hell are
immortal and have all the time in the world, so to them, this is only the beginning of the war.
There are years that see relative peace even decades, yet the war never truly ends,
and a particularly ferocious assault will ensue after these lulls in battle.
The Duke of New Antioch is one of the greatest titles amongst the faithful. The Duke is the
nominal supreme commander of all the faithful forces who wield both extreme power and the
incredible weight of responsibility. Despite swear and fealty to this Duke, the soldiers who come
from all over Christendom operate in units of their own, taking commands from their own leaders,
unsurprising as these units will be made up of vastly varying cultures. Take note, however,
that some soldiers renounce their citizenship to take up the Cross and serve under Duke
Constantine alone. So it is that the standing army of the Principality is the single greatest
fighting force of the faithful, and those who serve upon the walls of the Home of Hopes take
pride in their livery. In the most… I guess that's the New Antioch, that's the Antioch War.
And this guy's an ass. He's just a pilgrim. Pilgrims come from all over the place.
I don't like this guy. You know why? Because that shield he has reminds me of those cart-wheeling
skeleton muscles, and it's giving me PTSD. And I hate him, I love his design, but this can get
out of here. Get out of here. You're not a fan of the undead catacombs, Andy? No. No, pinwheel's great.
The pinwheel's fine, but you know the Skelly boys who are like,
and then they roll into you and they stunlock you to death. I don't like that, honestly.
That's why Dark Souls 2 is the inferior Dark Souls.
They're in Dark Souls 3 and 2 as well. They're everywhere.
You can consider that.
I think we have a… there's some… because there's a mass amount of pilgrims.
It's like, with the pilgrimages that go towards New Antioch, they go in there
absolutely like thousands each year. They pretty much all nearly die every time.
I mean, it's a sart. Oh, I should go back one, Andy? Sorry. Back… there's the one which shows…
Those are the soldiers of New Antioch.
Soldiers of New Antioch.
This guy.
Colin's about to die.
These ones are, yeah.
Colin has to change his sight. What about it, please?
Okay.
I will be here, but…
Okay.
You can go and stop.
These are the long sirens everywhere.
New Antioch calls.
Yeah, this guy definitely gives me Metal Slug vibes. He's like, the enemy's a Metal Slug.
There's a very Metal Slug-esque way that the armor looks to me.
Colin death on camera got me gooning. Come on, bro.
Bro. They're like, just showing as well, like when Eli mentioned the advancements in armor,
where it means melee is viable. So they actually have a mix of what is essentially what was World
War I standard dress in our modern world. And then it's mixed in with medieval armor parts,
because they're expecting to fight in melee at some point.
Because the thing is, I didn't realize, I thought at first this was literally a case of
Satan appears during World War I and that's the setting. But the way you were describing
the timeline of the Renaissance era, the 1500s, I was like, oh, this is hundreds of years.
So that's interesting. On face value, I thought it was just World War II happened and then it was
like a zombie army situation where they summoned hell at the worst possible moment. And then that's
the settings. No, it's hundreds of years in the making. It's pretty morbid because it also,
the world is in like, there's only, you know, it's a really weird joke about like, oh,
in the grind, our futures only war. Like on other planets, there's not war at all times. Whereas
on the world of trench crusade, everything is dedicated to everything is dedicated to the front
line of this war. And then again, like the front line has been stagnating. So it's just a massive
mire of death. And there's kind of no, you know, in 40k, like there's the emperor or something,
or like there's some kind of thing in which is like, oh, you know, there's some hope in
trench crusade is like, it's just, we're surviving. So, you know, we're hanging on by,
by literally our fingertips. Although I do like how this guy has adopted the ultramarines convention
of ranking officers, helmets, that makes sense. Yeah, that's very cool. The art is very nice.
And one of the one of the war hammer authors, black library guys is working on the lore for
this camera. Isn't the founder originally part of the Diablo team and he was a
concept artist. And that's why there's so much I think if I'm correct, maybe he just he's drawn
so much of them this himself. And it was a side project when he was working on Diablo. And he's
like, I finished with Diablo. I met my own thing. Nice. Cool. Yeah, great. Manil's gonna write a
story of writing the law parts for it. He's nice, very cool dude. I've interviewed him.
And let's go straight that up. Big, big, big, big sort of box tick in my life sort of thing.
I'm talking to someone who's written so many things I've read. That is very cool. All right,
why don't I finish the forces of the faithful and then we'll do some donations. And then how
we'll talk about some stuff works for everybody. Okay. Here we go. In the most dire of circumstances,
the faithful's greatest soldiers are called upon. One of these are the observers of the synod of
strategic prophecy. This is an order of warrior monks who have devoted themselves to a life of
absolute solitude. They spend their days sharpening their minds and bodies so that they may hear the
voice of God and become the ultimate weapon. Rarely does a monk leave the temple and those
soldiers who joined are often never seen again, save for the battlefield. They pray and train
rigorously and their mantle demands complete and uninterrupted concentration every single day.
All of this training is to wear what is known as an oculus helmet, a piece of equipment that allows
the observer to hear the voice of God. This incredible artifact grants them the capacity
to perceive the immediate past, present and future. Having such incredible perception brings
forth the ability to perform martial acts beyond human capabilities. However, living man is not
meant to hear these holy words and it is heard at a great cost. The voice of God never decays and so
superhuman focus must be employed to concentrate and extract the guidance of that moment amidst
the entire narration of creation itself. After wearing one of these helmets, the resonance
will ceaselessly ring in their ears, making sleep impossible. Potent sedatives and mind-altering
drugs must be used for them to endure the battlefield's role for any length of time.
The capabilities of these monks and of the helmets goes further. The observers practice the recitation
of the words of God constantly and the special metal of their helmet allows them to replicate
the holy word to the maximum degree that a mortal being can. This is not the true word, of course,
so it cannot perform extreme acts, but when spoken as perfectly as possible, it will give them command
over any creature in creation momentarily. The observers master many weapons, but they are most
commonly seen using the trench pole arm. These can be used to vault over obstacles and drop into an
trench with incredible force. In combat, they are unbelievable. While their concentration holds,
they can see every attack before it happens and have honed their bodies and muscles so precisely
that they move the complete minimum amount to avoid these attacks. They are nigh-untouchable
and will slaughter droves of heretical soldiers with divine superhuman might. If their concentration
is lost for even a tiny moment, however, they may lose the voice that guides them and become vulnerable.
The next are the Paladins. They're basically
Primarchs. I don't like, there's no better way to describe the Paladins. They're basically
Primarchs and trench crusade. The one guy in the book is 17 feet tall. They wear giant armor and
big old weapons. So yeah, pretty much, but they are the greatest, they are definitely the greatest
warriors and heroes of the faithful. Only nine of the original 12 still stand today. Two of them
died and allegedly one of them turned traitor, but mentioning such of course will get you killed.
So, you know, that's the, don't talk about that. Grimdok setting. No, never.
And unfortunately for the faithful, it has proved impossible to create another Paladin for the last
300 years. They are near-perfect communicants who have blessed blood running through their veins
and they wear armor of incredible purity that cannot really be remade or reforged either. So
if their armor takes damage, it's not a great time because it's very hard to repair, generally
impossible. And these guys go into missions into hell itself and they're only sent on missions that
will prove to give a long-term and extreme benefit to the war effort. When they go into hell, they
have to experience unbelievable pain in the areas that their armor has been cracked or undone somehow.
It's just not perfect. So these guys are baller. All the demons like aim for the groin armor, dude.
Yeah, I love the parchment on the armor as well. They're just like, I must, I must hide my, my
shlong with this long spiel of holy orders. In case it knocks someone out. That shield is probably
like 10 feet tall. If that guy is 17 feet tall. Same with that sword. The shield is a dude and a
half. Yeah. I'll just superimpose one of us like here. That's about where we stand. Yeah. Pretty,
pretty spooky. They are kept in concealed and secret cells and they're kept very far from any
outsiders. And when the time comes, they are armed and armored by blinded and gelled as serfs because
no impure gaze or carnal desire is to fall upon the paladin by any servants of the church. They
are given their last rites before they die, before they head out, because there is no mission more
dangerous than war within Gehenna. And these holy warriors perform operations of extreme danger
and importance such as assassinating nobles of hell, destroying infernal laboratories,
or interrogating devils. Each layer of hell has a different deadly atmosphere and each requires a
specific suit of armor to survive in. So a paladin must always go alone and there will be no one to
help him or even retrieve him if he dies. They're pretty neat. Not much more to say about them.
I summarized them quickly, thankfully. I just like the idea of a paladin goes into one of the
circles of hell and he sees the doomslayer and they just kind of go, Oh, hello. Hi there. I see
each other of like a chasm like doing a good job. Yeah. As the doomslayer would say, they go back
to their business. It would be quite disastrous though, if they, since they only have nine
paladins left, if they lose one, then that's one circle of hell that they probably cannot venture
to anymore. Isn't they have lust? There's an Argooners in the chat. They have like different
armor suits for, depending on which layer of hell they will do their mission in. So they are,
because each thing is like a different curse they have to repel. Do they only have like one suit for
each level that that layer that they have to share or is it to have a suit per unit?
I mean, I think there's only, yeah, I think there's, I imagine there's only nine suits
that the nine guys wear because it's basically impossible to replace their holy armor and weapons.
I just like the idea that one of them is in the locker room. It's like,
I'm going to the second. So I was like, no, I want to go to the second circle. And they're like,
no, you went second circle last time. I want to go to second circle now. I'm wearing the armor.
Yeah. It says dad is God.
Share kids. What's like what happened to Jesus Christ as well, isn't it? Like Jesus Christ in
the setting was like, they cloned his dead body or something like that.
Like in the in the in the PDF, something weird and heretical.
I think that's how they used to make the grails. They they're parts of like clones from Jesus
Christ. Yeah, the Meta Christ or something. I must say the only thing I'm thinking of is that
family guy sketch was just like, return of the Christ to crucify this. And it's like,
I mean, even the ghost is like, you're crazy, Jesus. You're crazy. That's what my ex wife said.
To M16 shooting all the demons. That'd be quite.
I need to rewatch Family Guy on. No, you don't know. You need to watch.
Whole episodes of Family Guy is just horrendous clips of Family Guy.
Yeah, catch me. Catch me five hours later.
It reminds me of the time that how went to rewatch Family Guy and it's just him smacking my
head against a door, a metal door or something. We do have some more donations
though from you beautiful people. Thank you.
That felt like a hostage negotiation. I'm not sure what that's referring to, but fair enough.
Probably from earlier. Document USA for five bucks. I came when I heard Andy say Dark Souls
2. Crazy. I just sent a message to Colin and he was like, bruh.
No, we're really free to have the wrong opinion.
That's why you're still here. Will you say that? Would you like to read this one, Colin?
Joseph Pollard, member for nine months, mid souls to Andy and Colin are right.
Well, thank you, Joseph. Such followers.
Would you guys rather live in 40K or PC if you were a normal person there? I would pick
TC because I can fight for a God that actually likes me. I'd pick 40K. I'll take my chances.
Pleasure planet or laser. I'm a high risk.
It's a crazy gamble. Do I get to pick where I live is the criteria.
How I answer that? Your species, Eva. So you could be like, I'm born as an elder. Oh no.
Goodbye. I'm irrelevant. Oh no.
All right. Living standards. I think they're fine.
Towing that bad, but God forbid you want to do something different on the weekend.
You're a fire custer. I'm not allowed to read.
I choose to shade too. I could kill me.
No, no. Trent, you say it sounds like it's just, it's all is like,
is a death world the entire time in 40K. You've got a chance.
Eli's doing it for the drip. He's like, look at that. That's the way.
Antioch broke before the faithful did. Thank you. Skellnarr, the underlord. $5.
Huge. That's real.
May even Virgil. Thank you for the 10. Trench crusade is my new love.
A word of warning. The minis are soft plastic. So if you get the physical ones,
impossible to sand. Well, good to know. What love have you guys looked at the actual minis
and gave your thoughts? I am printing off, getting my friend to print me off some
saltinate minis. I'm excited for that. Nice set for basically five bucks.
Maybe I'll finish my dark souls to boss run today. F you alone. But that's a fun fight.
I mean, if you're able to get like the no hit finish on it, that'll be, and he does his own.
He's weak. He's a samurai. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough. That one.
Is a dark souls to his movement sucks. Don't get my USA for five bucks.
I'm trying to get really drunk and pain my mechanized.
I'd prefer pain on that one. You mean you're going to pain it. What do you mean by that?
With me and my fellow trench pilgrims, drunk drivers, just destroyed an enemy of Christ
police officer during our trench crusade. Good man.
Big enough. Thank you for the five.
Huge. Huge.
There's Jack and I need this.
It's the old silver with the $5 with an R in front of them.
My favorite genre. What if God was real and he hated you anyway, three of you are looking good
and one is looking great. You know, I'm winning no matter who I take it.
Nice wizard PFP. Thank you for the two new Antioch is basically Acadia. Yeah.
Kind of. Yeah.
I believe. I guess.
Chad, I have, I have bad news for all of you. There are, there are other pieces of media that
aren't more crazy, right? Crazy. Cause that one really
pulled us all. Next, I believe it's my turn. I was super excited about this.
Cause I have one more thing to talk about. We jumped down a little bit.
We didn't try what trench pilgrims, they're also part of the faith.
Oh yes. The trench pilgrims.
Yeah. They are the, they are wondering possessions of men and women who have been
touched by God somehow, either through revelation, zealous faith or penance. They
have been called to fight under the banner of a prophet of some sort.
They are generally disorganized groups and they armed themselves with whatever they can,
whatever they can find and whatever they can carry. They're not sanctioned by the Holy
sea, but their actions have received the blessings of the church because they are some of the most
zealous and fearless warriors amongst the faithful. Most of them have little to no training,
but they are very fearless. They're very brave. Satan himself could not instill fear into these
fervent and faithful soldiers at times. They may be accompanied by stigmatic nuns. Those are the
naked ladies. They've not on our pictures. Thankfully they are warrior women of extreme
lethality. Stop the podcast. Some may even be so blessed as to contain the big fellows. We saw
before the lumbering anchorage shrines, which are basically dreadnoughts. They're just dudes
in constant pain running around killing heretics, sticking them on the wheels.
And they have a big guy who's not in pain being. Not going to happen. It was great.
Not going to happen. Guy who's like, I have no emotions or feelings. Great. And there's like,
no, he has to suffer. A common sight to behold are the ecclesiastic prisoners, which are,
I don't think we have a picture of them either, unfortunately, but they're dudes with like the
wooden things around their hands. I don't know what they're called and a weird helmet. And they're
strapped with explosives and they're sent ahead of the possessions. They're generally condemned
prisoners or volunteers looking for penance. They run up to the heretics and they blow up.
And there they said it. Some of them miraculously survive. So I will bless.
Hey, maybe if you blow up, you don't.
There is no limit to the variety of the trench pilgrims. And each possession has its own unique
attributes. They very much the build your own, make your own war band guys. They're pretty cool.
There we might have a picture here. There's the anchor, right? There's a triangle head guys that
you've seen. Some of them are also like, I don't know how to describe it. They, some of them wear
millstones around their necks to, you know, put on heretics so that they drown in the mud of the
trenches, which is pretty, pretty metal. To be fair. Another thing about this photo is you've
heard of pyramid head. Check out his head, older brother. Oh no, there is a pyramid guy. Gothic
block or something. The man is solid. Angry cathedral spot. Yeah. Greg would run away.
The cathedral's coming. That would be the forces of the faithful more or less. So now we can
talk about Hal's stuff. You think that guy's old, Nattie? He's like has Nattie's, oh he said.
And I believe there's a, there's a picture of a man in a gas mask who has like rusted features
upon this. This is where we will begin. There he is, the freaking baby. We thought about the blessing.
With his son. Yes. With the fetus on the belt. How do we make 40k cherubs worse?
Also, this one like say cheese. Click. My word. You're not strapped up with the fetus on the belt.
I don't know what you're doing. Well, this is, I actually, you know, we talk about the good guys so
far. We have that son stricken from the records. Now we begin with the darkness. This is, we talked
about the good things. Now we're talking about the heretic legion, which is the forces of hell.
Slight bit of background lore for that. It's pretty much like Dante's Inferno where like hell has nine
layers. And essentially they conquered most of what is like the Middle East and Anatolia. That's
like their regions. And they recruit slash people that basically were dealing with people who come
from this area in the trench crusade world. I will begin with its its first foray describes as
a shroud of darkness blankets the world. Smoke and brimstone spews from the yawning gates of
Inferno, enveloping the lands where people have abandoned God and openly wage war against his
creation, which goes pretty hard. It describes a full third of humanity has been corrupted and
serves essentially hell. And from their main like hub, which was now based destroyed, destroyed
Jerusalem and all throughout the sands of the Middle East. This is the entire region that is
owned by hell itself. And essentially, again, Satan, Satan is real in this universe. And from
all the people who live in this like, literally God, literally God forsaken land, you know, it's
horrific. And it's pretty much like Chicago on drugs is just terrible. And from these I think,
I think, I think that's just a lot of Chicago. Yeah, imagine that but worse.
From these areas for the vault citizens and citizenry, they are either willingly or
unwillingly inducted into the Legion of the heretic Legion. These like the mortal humans.
Although to be fair, some people who are able to get in, they will purposely mutilate themselves
to basically like even get a one up. And also I quote this from the actual primer,
because it describes like what general life is in delivering these areas. Firstborn children are
cast into the mouths of burning statues of Baal and human flesh is sold by the pound in dreadful
markets. So yeah, it's an all version. Freaking down in the markets, I'm gonna get myself a deal.
Inverted pyramids and towers plunge into the depths of vast cities. They are built of iron
and black stone. Within these grand pits stand sacrificial, sacrificial altars, where the weeping
captives of the faithful are slowly sliced to death over agonizing days and weeks. And essentially,
they are turned into rugs. The way you said that for some reason, like, just for that episode of
The Simpsons where Homer goes to hell and he's being chopped up and then like put together.
God, that's where my brain went. And then it gets worse because those are the areas which are
considered the nice parts because it turns out hell actually reached into the real world here.
And as Eli mentioned, like many of the different forces of hell fall under different demons and
demon princes. And from there, like where the actual like hell begins, essentially it says like
they spew from like literally from the ground like volcanic stone, like encapsulates the areas around
them though. And throughout the entire region near hell, the condemned and the uncontemned
are crucified upside down. They, this is in quotes, accounts speak of sprawling factories as well,
because, you know, this is 1914. So they've been industrializing hell apparently. And there are
factories made of mutilated flesh and metal, and their forges never end and they continue building
the munitions of an ongoing and unending war. If you're thinking, man, I've wanted a promotion at
work, shout out to Sen, who's, you know, working hard. Turns out, hell's heretic legion have a way
of getting promoted. One way of entering the legion-
Imagining their HR department. You have a pay rise.
Oh, the HR department anyways, I'm sure just as good as the legion of hell.
Fair point.
They have universal healthcare. If you to, for those who wish, you know, being in the lands of
hell, the people here are twisted. And to win a place amongst the heretic legions, they must first
take the unholy pilgrimage to the burning bronze gates of hell itself. Most people, if they get
anywhere near it, your flesh just burns and splits and it becomes unbearable. And for those who make
it quite far in, they're considered like they've made a decent effort at it. And, you know, they
essentially make dark packs with demons and they are inducted into the heretic legions.
It describes the area around here as like, essentially, it's a permanent sound of wailing
souls and there are charred bodies everywhere. Because apparently the knoll clings up.
And for those who are thinking, you know, hey, man, I'm maybe even a little bit better. It gets,
you know, I'm better than all these crazy people. I can actually get a- I can start somewhere higher
up in the company. So there are people who actually make it to the gates of hell itself.
And these ones are called the anointed. I think there's a picture of one has like a crest. If
Andy has that one as well. It's like a really weird like dark, not that one. It's like a
more regular bloke, regular bloke in quotation. I think it was the other way, but as one up in
up in trench crusade. Yeah. There you go. There you go. Yeah. So these ones can be called the
anointed and what the way to get to the gates of hell is not really like to do with endurance is
actually like, it's how it affects your soul. So those, the people who are truly horrific people
are able to get close to the gates of hell and they are grounded the right to wear always heavy
Gehenna armor, like full on suits. And they get to wield weapons that are essentially better than
everyone else's ones that most regular people are not even able to hold up. And they will send these
ones, you know, sort of as a, you know, at these massive waves of what is essentially like meat
shields. And then the slightly elite ones, tides of war beasts, like follow along, follow along
with all of these like crazy different sort of forces that eventually will, you know, smash
against the walls of Antioch or we'll try to fight the faithful in Hispania or other places.
I think it even says like, there's not actual units for this yet one, but there's one that's
like, there's dreaded artillery, witches who act as mobile artillery light supporting lightning
assault. So they, there's, there's a thing coming up for that, hopefully.
He's giving me a leg at Linnaeus from new Vegas is edgy older brother vibes to me.
I gotta be honest. Well, I guess, well then, you know what, it gets edgier though, because then
you're thinking these guys are elite. There's another kind of elite. There's one which are,
there's another, there's another imagery of this one, which is, is similar in like this burnished,
like rusted armor, but they have this one here that, yeah, that's one. So these ones are called
the heretic death commandos. The artwork for the audio listeners, it's, I don't even know how to
describe it. It's just complete like Ross with a, again, you'd have to go look up something like
this for yourself. It's heavily armed armadillo of death. Yeah. The skin is like, if she was an
artillery witch, he has DJB stuff. So people who become death command, you already sold me,
you can stay, you already struck oil. You would never say oil. He's a good Americans.
Oh, get there. I can hear eagles already. So you're thinking some people, you know, they,
they prove themselves and they've rocked up to hell and they got their flesh permanently burned.
There are those who they are taken unwillingly taken at a young age, even before they would
take this trial, they are actually brought into hell itself and they are raised to be specifically
death commandos and many children essentially are kidnapped and barely any will survive this process,
kind of like space Marines, you know, and they actually will go into the seventh circle of hell
and they are taught to basically be assassins, but more like assassins on the battlefield.
And they are considered the greatest killers and murderers specifically for arch devils.
They have civic things called Tartarus claws, which are quenched in the rivers of the river
sticks spell S T Y X. I don't know if I can remember my mythology on that.
This is what Achilles got dipped in. I thought it was that one. Percy Jackson goes there.
Yeah. And Percy Jackson. Yes. But apparently this one is a source of poison, more potent than any
mortal venom could ever be. So it's been, it's been, it's been altered apparently this river.
What's also weird about the commander ones is like they move far. They think I didn't even crawl on
them all forward at some point, but they also have, they take down targets pretty much like, so like,
I, you know, the commander was there at one point and then he wasn't cause they either got like
ropey tackled, you know, into pace or they sometimes take a silence pistols as well, which is very
weird. Cause you wouldn't think that someone that big could be that silent,
but they also are equipped with stealth generators and they operate by diffracting lights. So they're
not invisible, but they near enough and they, apparently they're powered, the technology is
powered by the heart, the heart of an innocent. And it's not, well, the thing is it doesn't really
keep them invisible, but spiddily specifically, but it actually keeps the eyes of God away from
them. So those who are blessed actually cannot necessarily perceive them. But obviously regular
blokes, they like that, that blur just my friend. It's surprising they have like three famous ones
who are called Kane, Barabbas and Haman, who apparently they are as Eli referred to earlier.
These are the ones who did the simultaneous assassination of the Supreme Pontiff of the
church, the high alyah and the Holy Roman emperor in the year 1894. And these guys don't die. So,
yeah, they're pretty much around those ones. The next one we have, I believe is an image of one,
it's kind of like, this is the equivalent of the heretic legions chaplain sort of figure. So there's
a guy in like black robes and he's got, he's holding a head back a bit, Andy, he was holding a head.
Oh no, we're almost there, almost there.
Yeah, it's kind of their own head. Yeah. So this is, this one gets like, you thought this one was
edgy so far, this one gets really good. Okay. Spicy question boys. His head is, you know,
like that Microsoft screensaver, where it's all those tubes that just this guy's head.
Wow. For the audio listeners, the character has literally cut his own head off and he's holding it
aloft and and there are angular veins making shapes coming out of his neck and it looks like
the the desktop screensaver from the early 2000s. I had to mention it. I mean, this is right on
there. Spicy take here in this section, self deletion. Okay. Is considered a mortal sin.
So the willing and the unwilling or the willing and the unwilling, I start with the start with
the unwilling. They can all be co-opted into the heretic legion. But those who self take,
let's just say, have specifically, that is a spite, those who do it in an effort to spite God,
and the chance to be rewarded, they essentially sacrifice themselves to the glory of hell.
And this is considered such an affront to God that it is rewarded. And so these
beings become the equivalent to what are like chaplains in Warhammer 40k.
And they've chosen our dress in like these dark robes, and they sort of resemble kind of like
pre scarps, as if for the people who can see it, they is very much like a sort of is a bit more
cleaner than a lot of the other heretic legions stuff. But it's good, I guessing it's because
they are more of like, they're a background guy yelling stuff in the heat of battle. Supposedly,
the ones who are more blessed are the ones who did more wounds to themselves whilst they were
whilst they were ending it all, let's just say, because this is apparently pleasing. And they are
undead, they're considered undead, and they essentially limp onto battlefields. And they
choose like a heretic war band to attach to. And they take their severed heads and they start
singing agonizing hymns that if the enemy, you know, if the faithful hear these hymns,
essentially is a death sentence, because it's you get filled with visions of the pits of hell.
And it arose in your Friday by Rebecca Black. Friday, you know, that's good again.
Man, it's good. Come back around. What are you talking about? What?
It came back around. What do you mean? Again? What happens over there in the UK? Like we hated it.
And then as I'm right, we got nostalgic about it because it was funny. And then it's like still
not. And that's not good. Did we? Did we? Are you speaking French? Who is this?
I love how I've said stuff like horrific things before, but the Rebecca, Rebecca Black.
We draw the line here. No disrespect to her. It's not a good song.
No, it's not really a good song, but it's funny. My hand is a classic.
It's a classic. You know that, bro. But essentially hearing this, the unholy,
you know, the speaking in tongues of these choristers, they it is a death sentence,
because as soon as you heard it, you're basically going to go mad. There's no there's no cure.
There's literally nothing they can do. There are places in New Antioch, which are like halls
filled with people who have heard these carrying calls. So yeah, that one really these guys are
horrific. And if they're on the battlefield, you got to plug your ears somehow. It's it's
it's down bad for madness. The next one, though, and I do believe this is a tricky one because
the artwork for this is this is the most disgusting once we have a trans crusade. This is like the
massive bug like thing, Andy, if you can find that one looking. Yes. So yes, we begin with the next
fact, I do not like looking at you. Nergal if Games Workshop actually made good. So
this guy's not having fun at all. Would you like to describe it for the audio listeners?
A postulant, a postulant booboo of a person whose eyes are bulging like, like a pockmarked
blister, I guess. It's like a plague. Like imagine a lore accurate plague drone.
If you see him out a bit, though, he has a bit more to him, though, as well. He's got a nice face.
He's got exposed intestines. There's lots of like, beer beers and burgers and everything
sounds more disgusting if you go. Oh, and if you did exercise, but all right.
Is it the fact that it's wet as well? Like it's moist? Yeah. Look at the look at the
slime. Look at the glisten on that. Sorry, Chad, if this isn't something.
You know how some people do like sub goals and stuff for Twitch?
Get rid of the image. I'll begin, though. So this is actually Andy, if he took off his glasses.
So I strain glasses, I'll have you know, this is actually another faction in
a trench crusade. This is some with a tertiary, like the forces of hell, but it's not considered
heretic legion, which is mostly full with mortal and all like, you know, upgraded mortals. This is
the forces of the black grail. Now, imagine things like typhus, malaria, typhoid, smallpox,
yellow fever, pneumonia, trench foot, trench fever,
Marquesian disease. I don't even know. Yes. And he did it. He did the thing. Many, many diseases
are rampant throughout many of the trenches throughout this entire world. And these things
are not necessarily naturally occurring. They, they are enhanced and they are spread by a certain
being, but there is something that's even worse than all of these. And it's called
the disease is literally a disease called the black grail, because this thing isn't a normal disease.
This thing is, this is hell disease created by the Lord Beelzebub, the Lord of flies and cell
normal disease. Are you kidding me? Really? No, I think a friend of mine caught that last week.
You got better. I mean, I had a guy who grew up, a boss kiss who grew up for boss kiss when he caught
the common cold. Yeah. It's double every day. I heard there was a guy who got a buzz light stuck
in him. This is me after six months of dating a Hello Kitty girl.
Yeah. What's going on here? What's going on? There's ammunition.
Bullets, infected bullets. Quote.
Bruh. But you know, Beelzebub, the Lord of flies, the Prince of Gehenna himself, he hates all of
God's creation. And he only wishes to pervert it and warp it because it just gets him going. And
he's again, he's very reminiscent of Nurgle, but there's, it's more terrifying than the Nurgle one.
Like Nurgle was like, considered like he's like a grandfather figure. Beelzebub hates everybody.
He's just a hate incarnate. Beelzebub hates everyone.
No, it's crazy, man. Crazy. No, I'm not saying so.
The demon Lord himself, again, like kind of like Dante's Inferno, they all live on different layers
of hell. But he rules from his putrid fortress that spews forth torrents of demonic Hellflies,
scorpions, locusts and other infernal insects. And essentially, every time the gates of Hell open,
like obviously, like the forces of Hell come out and demons possibly come out, but then also
a massive tidal wave of like disease and other things and all these little creatures and locusts
and things will emerge at the same time because the other guys like, you know, let it go. And
it goes through a cycle though. So every time he releases the black grail, after nine days,
his insects swarm all over like the front lines and eventually they eat themselves and devour
everything or, you know, it will plant life in the region until they die. And then behind it
leaves the black grail, which is like a disease, but it's got demon stuff infusing it in which
there is no cure. Once you have it, there is nothing you can do about it. So the victims
will first feel tumors grow within them, then boils and weeping pustules. Literally,
their flesh will start melting off and in their wake, you are left screaming. You're fully
conscious by the way, you don't get like a brain fever. You are fully like, you're in it and you
are left screaming and acting until you die. One thing is though, like whenever these kind of
fates seem to appear, what's stopping someone from putting the proverbial lasgun in their mouth?
Like at a certain point, surely, you know, like, this ain't gonna go, this ain't gonna end well.
Is there a repercussion for that with trench crusade? Is there like a, well, then you become
like an undead googly boo and is he even worse? Or is it just like, well,
and well, I mean, bring out the flame, the heavy flame, and then just look and do really.
I feel like that probably happens plenty often. Yeah, literally.
Is the funeral pyre ready? Yes, I'm going now. No, I'm going now. I'm ready.
You know, there's like diving competition, like body body, like floppy competitions, they do off
like top boards and diving things is like that, but on the pyre, because it's like immediately
get me in those cleansing flames. It is bad. But essentially when the basically if the black grail
is a certain death, and there's nothing people can do to save you. Most servants on the black grail,
so those who are infected by it and come has become servants, they are mostly unwilling.
And they are spared death so long as they spread the plague more. So you're not a person who like
definitely, you know, when a certain virus is going around the world, and they were like,
coughing on people. Avon ladies, if you follow the scheme now, sell the products or you're gonna
not make money. Oh, I need to sell it to other people to make money. Yeah, I understand.
Not pyramid scheme, but more like there are people who out there who like they purposely cough and
other people. This is them. These are these are you MS. And they been they they roam like mad,
like mad savages throughout these lands and the front lines. They basically slowly like mush
together like effigies and towers from things they steal off of like corpses, because it pleases Lord
Beelzebub because it's like, defaning or deep. What's the word like you're you're making a mockery
of something that should be pure. So often on a chlasm kind of thing. blaspheming, kind of blasphemes,
creation. And these things, these beautiful fly things we see in front of you are musical the
heralds of the above as you can probably imagine what the real thing looks like though. This is
the last finishing point on the the mortal followers though. They often they are considered
parts of things like things called like the Knights of the Order of the fly. They have like own like
weird bands that some of them are organized. And there are ones who actually willingly embrace the
black grail and all its problems as to say, and Beelzebub is very pleased with these people and
they are actually given weapons and armor. And they are gifted like, you know, essentially like
a massive rusted equipment. That's incredibly, you know, vile and dangerous to be around.
And if they sacrifice people, Beelzebub loves it even more. But these heralds, these are literally
called Lord of Flies. Some of them were victims of the black grail, or they could just be a massive
like corpses pushed together and made into one of these. And all people who are not willing,
they are bestowed the honor of being a vessel for the black grail. And they literally turn into
these massive grotesque winged insects are like bloated flesh as we see for the video here.
And the people inside so all the people who are attached to it, they're all still alive.
Yeah, so dead space vibes where those guys who are like attached to the walls and they have like,
like tendrils, like pour out their stomachs and they're screaming as they do. And while you're
fighting them, they're screaming and then they die. You're like, Oh, that's bad. Yeah.
It's a people who are part of this creature are fully conscious and aware, but they have no
control over the body. And these heralds are essentially when the forces of the black grail,
so I you know, the mobs and the ones who are considered part of the night, when they attack,
these are the vanguard they get sent in and they attack people first. So people here,
like the buzzing of the drone wings, and they'll see you know what's coming because it basically
means if I get anywhere, if he's get anywhere near me, we're dead. And they also have infected
weapons like as we can see on screen like infected muskets that often shoot things like
wriggling worms that eat people from the inside out. So yeah, this is pretty slippery. Quite icky
is the art direction is pended. My god, slippery, slippery, tentacle, hentai coat. Like I don't like
this. Why is the gun? Why is your phone sticky? We do have another with art piece as well for
I believe it's one of the grail nights as I the night that one the one that's like the dog kind
of in the armor. And if you go back to that also, then as well, these are considered like,
and members of the heritage leadings and sometimes a grail at once if you go back and
you like that massive like swap, there's a guy on the floor there. These can often be
all that that's one I will go to after though. But yeah, they go to stick on that one for that one,
Andy. So these ones is the last part of my section. These are called, you know, if you're thinking
again, as I mentioned earlier, people want to pay rise, you know, it's 2025, people need to be paid
what they you know, a living wage, you can upgrade yourself, you know, there's bills above is may
hate every single thing in existence. But there are some things he's willing to like, hear you out
on the him out boys. So there are plague nights, which are they're very rare, these things are not
quite as common like as elites and other armies. But these are ones who considered they are mortals
who they truly share in quotations, the vision of the hell's above, and wish the entire world to end
in putrid parasite infested mass, eternally writhing in the throes of endless plagues,
bestowed upon all by the black grail. And for amongst these people, they essentially like the
really fucked up people, these are the ones who get to join the order of the fly as plague nights.
And when the black grail comes, these people are the ones who are like they are leading the charge
a lot of the time, they actually love it. And they're almost like, kind of like the noble thing,
like they're mad with delight into like, they take for the thing we know that the thing on
dark Imperium, where like typhus sees the soldier get corrupted in front of him.
This Yeah, yeah, then then he like compels him into an IKEA flat pack. That was fun. Reset.
It was blessing again, again, again, the guys that like, yeah, yeah,
poor guy. Yes, like, you get like dried out into his bones crack. And then he then he
starts bloating with possible disgusting. But their body gets like, weirdly distended,
and they become creatures of like, they're halfway in between being alive and dead,
because the black grail diseases within them. I must say, I do really like the design with a
kind of lanky like you look at the arms here. It's like thin arms. Yeah. But there's like that that
Kite and it's like, moth like, oh, these are wings of flight. And then the hands have now got like,
free fingers. So it's like this like Abe's Odyssey style. I like that. That's like a nice little,
little tweaks. And obviously the big nose where it's like, ah, there is in the mosquitoes quite a
lot. Yeah, which is very cool. And these are people who actually like they kind of, they're
not like adult or mad, but they do retain most of their sentience. And they're pretty intelligent.
They act they operate like, you know, they could fight like a real person, or they can't even
remember most of their past life, a lot of their memory gets stolen by becoming a plague night.
Although played as can come in different shapes and forms, they often are like, you know,
nimble and quick. And often if they're very good, you know, Beelzebub will be very, very pleased
with them. And they can actually leave the mortal realm. And they are invited to hell itself.
Considering apparently there are considered 12 plague nights who are the famous ones,
quote unquote. And it's a mockery of like, there's like 12 paladins of the church,
there are 12 plague nights, although I don't think they're the equivalent in power,
don't necessarily. But they essentially they these the ones who are the best,
they are welcomed into Beelzebub, you know, horrifying fortress within hell called Echron.
And apparently, it's so bad that no one living thing has ever seen it and come back. So they
can't even describe it even even other demons don't go there because it's so horrible.
That is essentially the black grail and the heretic legions do anymore. I think we have
some donations as well from after them. We do we have two donations. So thank you very much.
Yeah, yeah, I was already on it. Shelexis what is gripper again with the five bucks.
I know we give you all a lot of this but we love you folks. Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Big one Dante. Dante Dante.
Yeah, we're CLP.
I don't know something but thank you very much.
Following the theme of the live I want to repent of my sin. I've bought an only f
subscription. Don't do it. People are not worth it. Just to watch 10 second videos and there is
a paywall better give your money to law crimes. They give us better size.
Or or or do this. Go on Pornhub and other sites that are that way. I'm putting it out there.
I'm putting it out there. It costs zero dollars. Remind the bleed that.
Yeah, there's so much. It's fine. It's fine. Don't worry. I've taken a note of it. I have to make
for the greater good. I had to mention. You just you just got to say it like the spider
pornography. Would you would you start calling would you put your videos in the hub just for
love? What? Probably not. I have though. I have seen them there.
There's two fun things. I love how Ramstein did their kitten music video put it on Pornhub
or something like that. And also I like them like for like oh it's it's it's for creators.
It's like come now. No, no. Come on content creator. Come on. No.
I say anyway thank you very much Dante by the way for that big thing.
And we really appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you.
Is there anyone who has one? Sure. Mickey Mickey mixology with the 10 bucks. Thank you.
Love grimdark but I enjoy the sort of glimmers of light motif in the recent 40k slash AOS lore
and trench crusade lacks that so far. Feels like there's a depth the setting loses without
stories of hope. Much love, y'all. That's that's fair. The vibe is also just fun.
It's pretty much the trench crusade's whole thing is pretty much just it's grimdark.
There's really not much depth to it. I put the direction we're at the ground floor.
Like we haven't seen what they can do yet. They're just getting going.
I mean I guess like you fight and die you go to heaven. That's that's something.
I briefly mentioned it to Graham McNeil because he's been he's part of the kickstarter for
our goals. He's writing some of the lore for this and he did mention how like he doesn't he again
doesn't like stories in which there's no little part of hope. So I imagine a lot of this is like
it again is like building it. Whereas if you were doing the same thing at 40k, a lot of people would
say so it's just awful right. Like again like that's just like the overarching sort of feeling
of it but a lot more of the lore needs to be built out and padded. You know, Polish Lithuanian
Polish Lithuanian Commonwealth my beloved will one day be but the thing is I want to see I'm doing
sorry different. Oh no, I didn't mean to cut you off. But all I was going to say is like even right
now I'm doing my wolf wolf wolf month and I'm doing Lucas the trickster and there's like a bunch of
space was like civilians ah cringe and Lucas is like well if we have strength what's the point
of fighting and he's like anarchic rebellious and realistically not doing much to the setting in
terms of like scale but it's that like glimmer of like ah I'll do a good deed before we're all like
suffocated to death like oh you need some kind of goodies or or or good moments otherwise you have
nothing to contrast with and therefore everything's bad all the time everything starts to blend
together and blur and then you're like oh well then there's no there's no way to measure up
really bad to bad because if everything's bad it becomes samey I guess yeah yeah and there's no
characters no more like stories yet that also will happen eventually I assume like John D'Arc is a
living saint I don't know if she's still around but she's clearly a good guy good girl uh she's
a good girl is that all right okay 25. Oh so another dono thank you humble guardsman
humble guardsman would you want to read this one? Sure thank you five dollars hey boys would you
would you guys rather give anger on a Brazilian body wax or give Gottrick a prostate exam
and you have to spiral around it for two minutes you die in either situation surely yeah but like
but to be fair to be fair if if you're doing a prostate exam he probably is there to get his
prostate examined surely yeah right although I'm just saying I ain't never seen anger on with body
hair so I feel like given Brazilian wax you're like oh he has no hair cool is this like pre
is this pre demon or post demon anger I imagine post demon why not probably both uh probably post
does this post demon anger still have the schlong?
Why don't you go ask him? You ever played might be Dante's Inferno the game on topic final boss Satan
he's got schlong for days where's Kibaiti's commander's mighty schlong of Satanist brother
where are you when we need you tell us tell us in the war he would know do you see the silhouette
uh tell one of the five bucks um that's it I'm reporting the stream to the ministry for the
propagation of virtue okay man you probably should probably should is it we have is it one more or is
it a couple more uh you know that's uh just one just one more fashion oh you know whatever I'll
with this one it's law McQueen you know the artwork is freaking cool too they're the guys who
look like custodians but actually cool uh you know also the the upside down cross on the freaking
chaplain guy got me thinking the the actual upside down cross symbol is from Saint Peter who got
crucified upside down because they didn't want to die like Jesus that's a cool little is this guy
history thing not that guy but that guy I don't think we covered that guy I love that he's got
the judge's wig underneath the helmet he looks like he's probably a faithful guy I think he's like a
there are things that we haven't covered that are also in the rule books that like there is more
lore I just love the pointy helmets like as much as the mosquito man is kind of silly like imagine
getting for a door with this good luck so who am I looking for uh oh I don't think it's in the
current list I can find some though are we are we for what are we looking for Andy iron sultanate
oh yeah we don't have any pictures of them unfortunately I'll put him there then he's not
the other guy I'll just get I'll just get into it the iron sultanate are the Islamic factions of
this like I said there you've probably seen their work of the guy who kind of looks like an
astotis he's like got the bird on his arm and the bird is kind of homunculus human looking
and kind of freaky they're pretty cool I'm gonna just gonna hit it the iron sultanate are those who
stand behind the great iron wall of do out car name I've got to say plenty words wrong
disclaimer they are ruled by the sultan of room a mighty warrior and grand strategist when the
thrice cursed gate to jahanum was opened and the gog and magog were released there was little hope
amongst those who believe yet Allah would manifest a great wall and aid his faithful followers a call
was sent to those who believe and over the coming decades faithful from all around the globe made
the pilgrimage to these walls many did not survive as the forces of pure evil swarmed them destroying
them and erecting vile monuments and statues of their limbs and heads they do this they did this
so that the faithful could not be buried as is decreed in their word yet many still survived
and arrived at the mighty gates of al car name these gates would then be closed and the islamic
factions were unified into the great sultanate of the invincible iron wall of the two horns that
pierced the sky the assaults from the slaves of jahanum have never ceased since that day and each
day new martyrs are made and warned in defense of the wall within the walls however society flourishes
to the greatest degree that it can in such evil times the faithful pray ceaselessly for the success
of the sultan's army as it battles to protect its land within the wall and defend caravan trails that
provide vital trade goods the iron wall is the greatest defensive marvel in the entire world
it is a mighty bulwark lined with artillery of the sultan keen-eyed as a sharp shooter stand atop
the battlements ever vigilant the elite janissary regiments have barracks stationed at intervals
near the wall so a response may be always be made swiftly and surely at all times of the day at any
location on the wall during shaitan's heavy incursions a full muster of aseps is called
and a house of wisdom sends forth the terrific creations upon the enemy even saltum him even the
sultan himself marches to battle alongside his janissaries in these times so i'm just getting
distracted by the chat silly all right the protection of the wall is of course the
sultanate's priority and so their way of war has revolved around this task completely as a result
the armies are highly skilled in faint uh flight and skirmish tactics while the aseps perform
hit and run actions the lions of jebiya harass enemy flanks the artillery of the sultan bombards
the enemy as they slog on their horrible journey across a battlefield littered with traps set by
sappers if they reach the ranks of the faithful the janissaries the best of the best in the
sultanate engage in close quarters combat and destroy the heretics in the shadows feared
assassins from alamut stalk in the winds of time slaughtering enemy elites and leaders
while the alchemists of the house of wisdom unleash their deadly weaponry crafted by their
elemental mastery beyond the wall the sultan's forces act in small mobile companies each sent
out to perform a specific mission they hunt down apostates that have left to serve shaitan look for
loose flow sorry look for lost relics from the time of the prophets or seek long forgotten
treasures and books of knowledge from the ruins of fallen caliphates the church and the sultanate
have made a shaky agreement and through an understanding have agreed to be co-belligerence
against the forces of evil so i guess that's a tiny little hopeful thing which is nice despite
this tensions are still high between the two factions as the sultanate still have an incredible
spites and grief for the crusaders opening the gate to hell so they're still obviously very mad
about that understandably so they will tolerate no interference in their expeditions and will not
hesitate to destroy those who hinder their tasks matters of honor are resolved by duels of the
death and aside from this there are no military operations against the church itself and vice
versa the greatest warriors amongst the sultanate are the janissaries these are raised from childhood
in the art of war and they are often those children captured during raids within the northern
and eastern marches beyond the wall they are taken through rigorous training and indoctrination at
the earliest age possible conditioned by ways of spiritual conditioning and the skill of an alchemist
they are bound by unseen chains with minds that have nothing but unwavering loyalty to the sultan
and only the sultan the very space marine-esque each janissary in a mighty war is a mighty warrior
with augmented bodies by means of elixirs created by mystic jibirian arts their intricate armor is
forged from the metallic formula gleaned from the very iron wall itself crafted by the alchemagic
of the sultanate they also bear great talismans crafted expertly by blind
thaumaturges from the school of the meteoric omen they bear a grand arsenal of weapons
including gizelle rifles and mortars jettagon blades and the most potent and powerful blade
a soul filled with devotion space marines if they were cool these are perhaps the faithful's greatest
shock troops and they excel at storming strong points and trenches destroying elite formations
they also of course work as high ranking bodyguards for the sultan yet they are far
too valuable to be used more than sparingly outside of the wall some janissaries are sent
to the front lines to bolster to bolster the sublime gate with spiritual conviction and
martial power they ravage the battlefield their beautiful panoply making for a grand site in a
bleak war zone one of the iron sultanate's greatest and most terrifying creations are the lions of
jibir shout out to the guy who asked me to talk about them i'm sure you're still here i hope
deep beneath the golden gardens of damascus through the cavern of the sleeper and past
the seven gates of potentiality lay the laboratories and metaphysics metaphysical
factories of the alchemists using a jibirian process shrouded in mystery called taquin
the alchemists are able to create artificial life along with a plethora of odd and wondrous things
in the darkest and most secret reaches of the alchemy complex past the seven seven gates of
actuality are the sanctums where the art of taquin is honed and perfected here in the true depths of
the lions of jibir created their name takes after the deadly hunters of the plains the lions may
take many forms including those outside of the leonin each lion is unique and is a wonderfully
crafted masterwork that bears the individuality of the jibirian scientists that created it
this knowledge is gained by the dark means sorry the knowledge is gained by dark means however
for the alchemists delve deep into the forbidden books of sodomon and oftentimes a flesh crafter
is killed when their creations fail or run loose despite the cost the lions are in high demand so
the program continues the process to create a lion is very challenging with endless variables in play
due to this the lions are often far from perfect and malformed in one way or another yet they are
still extremely deadly inefficient at their task the malformities will often result in a lifetime
of pain and suffering even worse some lions are crafted with human-like intellect and must bear
the weight of their unnatural origins and a lifetime of agony in battle they are used as graceful and
swift hunters able to flank the enemy easily and so terror they are grand vanguard troops and the
sultan himself contains a guard of 77 gigantic lions many bear armor fused to their flesh etched
with cryptic seals while others may have strange powers i don't know if we have art but with those
those are the those are the janissaries on screen do we have a lion of jibir artwork i think i can
find one there are a few of them but um i think it's it's a very much like the factions a mix of what is
mysticism of golden of the golden age of islam with essentially it's on steroids though and then
yeah thrown into a well the interesting part like where they are positioned in the world they're
also not like really in anatolia but then they're all very ottoman inspired um which is interesting
but then oh they thank well i'm not reading what you're saying in the freaking chat this is
ridiculous oh my gosh good word come on bro inshallah that's right donkey man inshallah oh
that thing is nuts though look at that that that guy's been eaten yeah he's uh pretty icky
i know what it is icky's a good word again it's wet why is it wet moist wet
yeah in the goyster yeah they're pretty freaky again like a lot of the factions do enjoy like
carving stuff in their skin like that's that's a theme i'm being like oh it's like eliana balls
thank you it's like raising balls yeah we'll get i'm not i'm not done talking buddy don't worry
again although it's like here is like this bit is like gale from dark souls free and then this bit
is like the incredible hope clip right did mention the self-awareness that the lions have to deal
with why is his elbow got so many creases on it that makes you uncomfortable yeah they're a little
freaky it's it's grim dark golden age of islam basically i've read i've been dying to have
something like this because i've always wanted to have like a space marine chapter that was kind of
like janissary adjacent and there really isn't anything like that in warhammer i mean um you know
why yeah if we're talking about like cultural fun things for like space means we need like rajput
uh space rings yeah they have like the um shakram and like throwing the discs of with blades on like
with the the the plume tells like that'd be cool do we have one no but i think that'd be cool i think
it's cool no also yeah there's there's the maccabean janissaries for the imperial guard
that's something at least theoretically exists i feel they're cool they're very cool i'd like to
see them yeah yeah yeah the uh the janissary models that i do hope one day to like take the heads
of those and put them on a space marine in some format because it would just be such a perfect
match though but the fashion has got if i was to play trench we said i think i might pick iron
sultanate just because it is so different from what 40k can offer so yeah i think they're coolest
looking personally but i guess i better get back to it let me see where was i okay the jiberian
alchemist the dudes who make the lion uh and this is where all of the creation of the sultanate's
army really stems from they are battlefield mystics schooled in the hidden knowledge of the
there's no way that's the actual word i totally wrote this right it says smreg dine that might be
the word smreg dine tablet uh within the house of wisdom and they may join if they will if they have
the will and the intellect deemed sufficient this is no easy task however for to become an alchemist
one must undergo many trials three well four yes many many first first there's three trials for the
final test and then there's the algorithm first come the almost never-ending lessons of the newly
initiated as they study the jiberian corpus translate the keys of solomon and learn the
fundamental disciplines of their primeval science after seven years of constant study under the
vigilant eyes of the high alchemy may an aspirant attempt the three trials required for full
membership he's head over to university the first trial is to create a suit of alchemists armor that
protects against harm this is a necessary tool for their craft as it is festooned with the seals of
solomon which in turn allows them to bend the element of creation and shields them from the
devices of hell the the second trial is to create a taquin servant a homunculus creature might
actually really get the artwork of these guys up here too at some point um it's the guy with the
little guy running around behind him but anyways these are a more homunculus creature of both
artificial life and intellect it is a complex formula including intricate timing and temperature
requirements many fail yet if those who succeed yet sorry yet those who succeed will be granted a
creature after about 40 days of labor this creature if created correctly will emerge from its golden
celestial sphere as the perfect servant it bears motor skills able to nimbly work and piece together
the finest of materials it can change its form to that of near liquid and fit into tiny spaces
and it is resistance to extreme temperatures a failed creation will emerge with nothing but
hatred and shall burrow into its creator and proceed to wear its skin don't mess up i guess
the final trial is the opening of the third eye this is the key to cosmic illumination that
allows them to see the building blocks of creation itself this gives them the means to ensure the
elements they use are in perfect balance when one fails this final trial they are horrifically
changed forever the third eye will emerge but it will be swollen to horrific proportions this eye
merges with the other two and the alchemist is left screaming in constant terror at the nightmare
realm they now peer into usually they are put down slain out of mercy but there are rumors that
there's a cabal of crazy alchemists left alive for unknown purposes oh they're navigators aren't they
they're basically like navigators yeah i guess less inbred but yeah that's a positive that is
a positive i gotta be honest navigators the one word i think when i think of them is inbred because
that's how they keep their bloodlines pure because they're like well we don't want to dilute our
navigating therefore brah can i sleep with you it's not a family tree it's a reef but she's
your second sister first removed ah fine irrelevant second sister okay well those that have the
incredible skill and intelligence to pass all three trials will ascend into the order these are rare
and the trials ensure the weeding out of those of the unworthy those who succeed however are masters
of the esoteric powers able to control the elements of the world and create intricate
mechanical devices alongside artificial life so too do they create incredible weapons of extreme
potency they are allowed freedom in their research yet in exchange they create the jibirian battle
lions and serve on the front lines bringing their alchemical might upon the enemies of the believers
and that's those guys i have a feeling that the people who made trench crusade
don't know anything about islam they just looked up the words in islam and kind of put them into
something and looked at history because there's a lot more weird theology stuff in the christian
faction and there's like no mention of the word muhammad i don't even think is in in the pdf so
yeah i don't know weird i think it's more touchy it's more touchy in that context and the thing
is like it they could have done stuff with like the the golden age of like the periodic table you
know where that comes from yeah that's from the islamic golden age of science like there was a lot
of interesting stuff going on then it's uh bit of a shame where's my boy salahuddin from kingdom of
heaven where is my where's where's my boldwin showing up and the two armies crossing up
squaring off against each other quipper bro i told i told them about the lions
about the lions waking existences it's in there my brother i told them jesus christ this this poor
guy oh no he's it he's just a little just a little guy so homochulus happy what he's like i'm not
happy to look at face he's having a good time he's a little fella i don't think he's having
me when there's no toilet paper okay all right okay
oh gosh angry homochulus is what are we eating today mom it's his islam knowledge from his one
Muslim friend yeah that makes sense leftovers
this fair main event virtual i'm where's your koob where's your koob in this huh
that's what i want to know no one showed up to my birthday party
oh you don't use toilet paper no i have a reusable one like those families who use reusable ones
cloth jesus christ some people are crazy man you rock up to some like friend's house
and you see they have reusable toilet paper what do you do i just like to panic
when i was 16 i raised a great ghat now i shall die stone cold okay
okay oh my god we're in the we're in the real trench crusader
jesus christ is the next one is it the blazing bones uh maybe i tried to say that it's pretty
good that it's like very that it's good uh like islamic history which is fair that doesn't make
sense i just don't see any like theology really i don't think it's trying to it's not like even
with the the heretic legion stuff is it is more just about what the it's going on it's a war game
based off of mythology rather than they wish to somehow enact like what the you know the true
essence is underneath it i mean i mean i'd rather be that way anyways because it's yeah i mean
there's literally an echo was it they had they they cloned jesus christ i mean there's already
like i mean like it'd be much they weigh off they weigh off we're bringing him back yep it is
definitely uh season two i'm getting an emergency call from a medical company may i have a moment
gentlemen go for it you'll be back so out what's going on with calling these insurance is america's
lovely like that i wanted to make a day parallel but i couldn't think of a company
reuGEN industries from starfield is like we need to talk to you about your insulin like oh
america is going up uh what's the next one then even
uh that was a rain chat um the next one is the assassins uh islam is a lot of similar
mythology christianity is true that is very true all right anyways um the most feared and dreaded
amongst the sultanate's arsenal fucking automated phone calls uh classic ah pain
they are worth the iron's outfit but it does go really hard like all of their art pieces are
really cool to be fair i must say the the biggest feather in the cap of trench crusade is that the
guy running it is like i used to be a concept artist like oh couldn't get better chance of like
uh the pictures are very cool free art that i make myself fantastic all right so now anyways
the assassins guy on the screen they're the most feared and dreaded amongst the sultanate's arsenal
and uh these are beings who have many names ghost wolves the secret knives subtle vipers the sultan's
wrath and more the shadowed warriors stem from a legendary order of mystic warriors
famed for their ruthlessness and esoteric arts atop a vast mountain since the onyx fortress
alamut the unconquerable what is this behind the wall behind its walls of mystery are grand secrets
that are hoarded by ancient magi some believe that the founder of the order of assassins still
holds court here even after eight centuries of life the is mali sect i don't know if i said
the right of assassins is mali is mali so real scene is a real sect as well still in real life
they're seen as radical uh but a patch was forged between the sultan and the mountains then shores
the war bands of the believers often contain one of these master killers these are beings with the
ability to bend space and time using sacred rituals and potent hallucinogens they prowl behind enemy
lines putting down targets with murderous efficiency they are said to appear in two places at once
strike an enemy with unbelievable speed and proceed to travel back in time to a moment a few seconds
before safe from any counterattack in service to the sultan in service to the sultan they
destroy his enemies in ritual holy murder each assassin is painfully altered by many augments
chemicals and potions they are far larger than a normal man and many many times faster and stronger
they are they favor the poison blades forged in the unknown depths of alamut these daggers are
imbued with the supreme poison the milk of manat the cup of death one single touch from one of these
blades upon your flesh results in death the victim's body turns back bad touch the victim's body
turns black and rots from within in several agonizing seconds deep below the surface in
the catholic chambers young assassins are raised they are fed a disgusting bitter diet full of
strange toxins generation by generation their tolerance grows until the blood of these vessels
is drawn and smelted into a poisonous iron i don't know if that's how it will work but it's
interesting these in turn are forged into wicked curving blades and deadly spells of slaying are
layered into each fold of the metal the searing hot blades are quenched in the venom of the
unnatural offspring of a basilisk and a manticore through this process the blood of the first
generation of assassins still carries on to this day growing more potent with each generation
the bulk of the sultanate's army are made up of azeps the lands of the faithful are vast and within
each province one household in 20 is required to arm and equip a soldier to serve those who believe
we can probably get a picture of this fella it's like the regular looking dude with a
a career for little musket thing what am i looking for sorry i don't know if they have a picture or
not how would know if we have the picture a zip i don't know if i sent andy the picture but it's
just a regular guy i think he's a feather and he's a gas mask as well yeah he's possibly in
white clothing as well just for the audio listeners out there as well i don't think i have him that's
okay they are just kind of regularly but anyways uh armies are raised swiftly when needed due to this
and many of these soldiers are often known as azeps meaning unmarried because those with families
cannot become azeps these soldiers serve as light infantry on the land and sea alike they guard the
great wall from heretic assault and many azeps volunteer to go on missions beyond the wall
in hopes of gaining glory and riches alike most azeps carry jazails or block jazails a handmade
weapon that generally shows a great deal of work and personality they are highly adaptable and
reliable rifles that can be loaded with just about anything paradise awaits for those who die in the
faith and azeps rarely wear armor they are used as skirmishers to harass the enemy while the elites
move in for the kill many commanders will use these soldiers en masse and casualties are usually
very common amongst these troops most of these brave warriors meet horrific ends within the
unforgiving trenches but there's always a steady and constant flow of recruits seeking glory and
service to the salted uh when i copy and paste this word the eye wasn't even an actual eye so
i don't know if it's i don't know how to say it but i use bassies something like that use bassies
are the we might have a picture this it's kind of susses and bogus i guess the uh that the weird
homunculus bird has boobs on it so i don't know use any of your own discretion i guess
yes but these are the guys who look like casnodies but actually they are sent to you
yeah and one that looks like casnodies yeah use bazes somebody can tell me if that's how you say
it or not in the chat uh think well do not do not post the wet emoji uh okay these are the commanders
and officers that lead the military expeditions over the great iron wall into no man's land
they are soldiers selected based solely on merit in the end we have to blow that yeah probably
probably but yeah look how cool they are oh man they even have freaking sword guns just like a
story uh so probably heavily inspired by them i imagine they also have white scars shoes with the
point so yeah white scars influence i should get points to shoes that'd be awesome walking around
with jester shoes would be really funny anyways these are soldiers who are selected based solely
on merit and they are expected to fearlessly lead from the front many are selected from the janissary
corps each use bazy is enhanced by the jibirian alchemist and are conditioned by the mystics
as a result each is fearless in the face of terror this conditioning however has given them a
utilitarian ruthlessness and they care not for casualties amongst their own troops or even that
of collateral damage amongst civilians they generally assume the command of an elite squad
of warriors to see their tasks through which vary from retrieving holy relics see andy zooming into
that scary bird or they eliminate powerful foes they bear grand armor of meteoric iron and wield
the finest carbines loaded with alchemical shots along with uh key leech swords of the past heroes
of the sultanate if they serve well their name and glory will be etched on the blade to inspire
future generations so why does the bird have knockers like what possible reason just because
just because i don't know why not distraction i don't know
because yeah what do you want me to say what if yeah what if yeah or it's had a huge pair
yeah
okay anyways we're all right we're really close to being done somebody will finish off um some
of the more physically gifted of these guys carry hand weapons and cannons okay and they were hand
cannons that double as a howl bird some bear trophies pelts and cloaks from their greatest
kills which offer protection from the powers of shaitan some are accompanied by artificial birds
of prey the boo bird i guess and automo and automaton hounds that both aid them in hunting
and warfare i like finally last one this is the brazen bull we definitely have a picture of him i
saw us scroll past it we can pull it up it's the big guy with bronze armor and a gun arm
oh yes of course let me just when it flies they jiggle thanks thank you
it's essentially a harpy yeah pretty much
there he is i'm excited to build this model i'm quite excited and these are these are the greatest
and most terrible creatures of war within the sultanates they are the brazen bulls
these monstrosities act as living artillery for that of siege guns and heavy mortars are far too
unwieldy to bring along expeditions in the year of the uh hedra 821 sultan baezid the
third maybe commissioned a new creature of war to act as living field artillery and the royal
artillery house delivered for centuries they have labored to perfect the divine art of taqwin
from their secret laboratories come forth their finest creation the brazen bull or bogha as the
soldier call them this artwork of flesh is a monstrous thing with immense strength they can
tear powerful foe they can tear powerful foes limb from limb and carry artillery such as flame
cannons and volley guns many bear holy blades blessed by the word of the great protector
upon their gargantuan frame is their famous bronze armor of thrice hardened scales the plates are
covered in talismans of protection and the grace of the creator and the end that's all i got i mean
i gotta be i'm gonna do the boob armor argument it's lovely that they've got all this armor it's
just a shame that there's like weakness here yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know well placed shot in
his face he can down that's why he's like one foot thick of beef yeah oh it's got a lot of
muscle to get through before it does anything bleeding a lot like yeah all these mutant things
seem to bleed a lot he's also with his artillery physiology he'd like scab that up and heal it a
bit like no i still believe like dude what's going on once again trans crusade comes through
with the moist description that's the depiction of uh this is blood of my you'd imagine licking that
thing okay all right i did not i was not imagining it now you are i mean you know they say like
blood tastes like copper it's like this is like iron maxing oh i yeah this is iron and copper
maxing like oh yeah yeah this is the this is i guess this is what the chaos dwarf's always needed
but never got uh medium very very true my beloved extra medium i mean trans crusade is pretty i
understand people was it almost a lot of people have said like it's maybe a bit too grim dark
but i think they are like again as like a building they got a they got a set of themes first like
you know what get the it's cool it's interesting though the thing is is it is it i i would say
that it's an okay thing to have a too grim dark setting like let it be its own thing and then if
you are like this is too grim dark or this isn't grim dark enough that's fine but at least it's
like we're going to take a notch up from warhammer and we're going to have our niche in that thing
hmm yeah for as far as i'm concerned well it's what's crazy i think it's more it's not necessarily
more grim dark than warhammer a lot like there are some pretty crazy hammer hammer supposed to
be this grim dark yeah like it's new war hammer's what what was more than that though it encompasses
i mean the orcs are hilarious but i think in terms of this is like if you're a lot of people who are
into 140k and they're like my the grindel part part is my favorite aspect i imagine a lot of
people are going to find that they're very much drawn to uh trans crusade and also i think it's
at a smaller scale as well in terms of actually playing the game so it's like kill team i was
going to say it's like warhammer fantasy to be honest like it's on the planet there's one planet
and everyone's scrapping yeah over the planet and there's supernatural forces but it's the
planet and so you can be like oh and it draws from it draws more from historical events than
warhammer fantasy does because instead of saying oh indy is like a parallel to to india it's like
no it's like it's the actual place or whatever part of the regions of the world is an actual
place like jabalta like that's kind of cool and as far as i can tell it's like this is
is nothing is any more a niche in the internet age and i'm i'm all for this like
go for it make your niche i don't think this will ever outcompete warhammer but i do think it's cool
they did and that's all they did get five million dollars on their uh pledge thing i don't remember
what it's called yeah and that's great but like it'll never be warhammer though yeah definitely
no but it doesn't need to be no it doesn't need to be and like warhammer is like a 40 year history
at this point like you're gonna be hard pressed to compete with that but i like what it's doing
and it's its own thing and it's distinct from warhammer and other settings which i like the
art direction goes hard though i think they've they've really nailed what they are going for
there's other parts that are still building out such as people mentioned it in the chat earlier
though they're the kingdoms in ethiopia are a thing um the the self kingdom of prussia is its own like
core as well ireland is a thing as well in or in real life obviously but in the mythical nation
of ireland here like the the new anti-op like values troop like the um pilgrimages that are from
ireland are not coin or resources they're sharpshooters and uh the polish lithuanian
commonwealth my beloved one day hopefully will be a faction i want to see it'll be uh
african kingdoms and uh zantium because the timeline it's like constantinople fell like
150 years after it did in real life in terms of the come on give me grim dark the map though like
they the heretic legion spread up to greece as well so technically greece has fallen
so yeah but rome fell plenty of times it would always come back
maybe is a region uh self governing region the hogerman empire and prussia
being together is quite wild uh as in like separate entities england has not had law yet
really other than like they build the navy stuff fortress yeah whatever the hell that is
i think the new anti-op angle is still pretty cool though again we're gonna we're gonna see
much more from it though and um hope everyone did we'll run out with some donations here and
then we have a question of the week for everyone to rise like two hours in should we do the question
of the week first and then we'll do them yeah let's do that let's do that uh we had a okay
good so i picked the questions of the week this week uh so first of all rarest oh and the last
episode did was planets of of warhammer 40k and the hashtag was homestead so rarest pepe coming
in at us with i would live on chagorla's and dig up the area that the necron's attacked there's
probably a tomb complex down there and i want to wake them up so they wipe out the white scars
why
huge bless you i love you disgusting disgusting
thing bruh bruh turn chagors into a glass floor no no don't it's great stop it stop um let me just
find the next one all right okay colin you read this one i will happily want to oh there we go
homestead hashed hashtag that's not the order those things are in nerd casting 40k interesting
choice my choice would be fenris best hunting fishing and drinking in the galaxy i mean you
survive oh yeah that's like the that's the sticking point isn't it like yeah you're not wrong
you're really gonna have to earn it it's all those one hard call mode
bruh the choice fenris is like a normal person that's like living in a dark souls no hit run
realistically any of those animals on that planet hit you your dad you're done
they literally have a crack in them they have cracked yeah release the crack and it's not a skill
issue oh hey i saw sterland mentioned is a sterlod sterlod dude go for it day rosa doodles uh hashtag
homestead i would choose to live on the closest equivalent planet to sterland and drag collin
with me because it would be funny to see him rage at the sight of country bumpkins they're less than
human they're they're animals primates kill every sterlander collin does hate we love sterling we
love sterling obliterated drop a bomb on it uh with that being said though we hope you guys did
appreciate this one and we leave you with the uh next question of the week which is on the hashtag
crusade uh and the question is which warhammer character would you bring with you to trench
crusade slash you know you gotta survive out there which warhammer character are you bringing maybe
give a description of what adventure what what shenanigans go on we want to know hashtag crusade
and i feel like the obvious answer would be like saint celestine be like hey lady come with me
and she's like ha ha yeah i'm just gonna like chill in the bunker with a cup of tea she'll sort
us out everyone will follow her it's fine she'll do all the heavy lifting i'm just gonna hang oh she
dies it's no problem she resurrects great uh sally does she come back though if there's no emperor in
this universe does it work yeah it's just her does god just decided i feel like if she transplanted
to trench crusade then she'd have a brand new following it'd be like breaking into america if
you're like a uk artist like i'm part of the uk scene you go to america say oh it's an even
bigger audience yay and it's like well everyone loves you and that's kind of the deal we know
colin would bring mirathy for for not for help not for help oh my gosh okay speaking of colin
uh we got some donations would you like to read one from bean colin sure thing thank you bean
bean if america was in the setting humanity would win oh right look i don't i don't care how endless
satan's legions are they is that's nothing compared to lockheed martin's annual budget
i feel like it would also be america's fault somehow as well no yeah there's always ten
tank where it's like oh it can like it can pretend it's not there in the dead of night and it has no
heat signatures and it's like a giant tank like america why what's going on america was funding
the leeches of hell all along it's an inside job Jerusalem is a job this video goes out to the brave
guerrilla fighters of bales above it's like a literal machine gun that print like shoots money at
people crana soros rex for five bucks it'd be neat if they start doing units for pacific rings
inspired by dante's inferno's punishments even though my catholic catholic my catholic ass will
never play as them real that's real uh the catholics represent uh anyone takes one main event
virgin thank you with the five euros it's great to see someone did a lot of research when making
the iron sultanate excellent blend of eastern mythology and islam not seen often i they're
guys cool minis and they're like the one oh hello pump he's are the coolest their minis go the
hardest dude like the it's like the one place god did anything direct too he made big wall
uh bunny cop with five but oh sorry i heard the eye sure they give the five dollars bunny
cup take away the alchemical augments and the hell war that's basically one for one with historical
janissaries less war crimes okay look so is it the wrong region as well historically accurate
what country hasn't committed just a smidgen of war crimes just to go
no there's no good country of guns you know these small to be of any consequence so it's not a vote
come on you must have at least one no you cute little piracy doesn't count piracy doesn't count
now it's not quite a war crime i guess yeah yeah all right how we're not at war
uh declin um illery or ellery uh for the a dollar five dollars uh hasha shim so good they can do
the sneaky stabbing whilst being bigger than normal humans that's right they did i mean that
was pretty much assassin's law in real life for certain i would say if the existence of the
raven guard doesn't bother you then this probably shouldn't either
oh crayonsaurus right is back for the two bucks oh god momo is back i don't know what this is in
reference to appreciate that is oh it's that weird fucking i'll put a picture in the discord it's
that stupid internet image of the distorted like like just picture of a woman a woman oh that thing
i was sure for the for the live the live show this week though uh we are again doing the live show on
thursday uh next week as well so we're not on friday just just just for you live boys we
because we're you're always here and we love you some people have romantic relationships which is
cringe anyway partners don't want to yeah thanks colin thanks for valentine's
uh why am i under flack here i'm not the married one
tom warren maybe the five dollars what do you always say your pvp is a beaver or an otter
it's an otter isn't it cute i think the remnants of the uh varangian scarred are a planned subfaction
that sounds pretty cool uh without being said that we've this has been we've really lured out
today uh we appreciate you guys especially everyone who did the donations and
dante who gave really a huge amount uh this stream thank you so much yes colin
it's a little little spoiler for next week it's a quiz and i'm leading it and i think how what i
mentioned i think i'm gonna commit to it oh wow that's crazy okay well uh appreciate you all so
much and we'll catch you in the next i didn't get to see the spoiler no spoiler no it's a spoiler
how about i've i've finally done something i said i would never do on hal's request
it'll be a quiz about that uh take uh there you go please like and subscribe we're almost at
uh 20k also we have we have merch by uh checking out the merch chest reveal wow it's like superman
taking off his clothes and there's a thing under yeah all right everyone thank you for doing it
it's been a good time trench crusade is good it is good i do enjoy it by everyone having to be
well he's on sterling go to hell we love sterling on lore crimes