Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Lord Crimes. Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, fellas.
How are we guys doing? I mean, I've had an okay New Year's. I'm hoping everyone who's watching's had one. Colin, how has your New Year's been?
It's been productive. You know, upside, right? I got like so many videos actually done in time to be able to go do something with my free self, which is nice. Downside, now need to pay my own medical insurance, double downside.
Someone got some credit card information from me so I had to go cancel some purchases. But on the bright side, dogs.
Dogs. Both two dogs. And the credit card information thing is really just, you know, cancel it and then the purchases someone else made go away.
It's better than the last. It's not quite as funny as the last time because this purchase was someone just went into a men's store and like ordered some stuff and then some random stuff from some online store.
The other time I got my credit card stolen, I just dropped it on the ground. I'm not kidding you. Dude bought a kayak.
So like we knew it was stolen because I looked at, you know, the app on my phone. I was like, all right, I don't own a kayak. And the dude also went mini golfing.
Like at the little like indoor course. I don't remember which came first and what order. So I think the dude went to buy a kayak and then went mini golfing.
Okay. Okay. Well, at least it's all sorted now. Eli, how was your New Year's? All good? Yes, all good. I need to shave and get a haircut. I'm looking homeless. But yeah, it's all good.
I did have one today. I had a trim. I had like the proper like burly like scrappy beard with the long hair and then like yesterday I was like, I was like, I was like Harrison Ford in The Fugitive just like trimming my beard off and stuff.
By the way, everyone, Hal cannot be with us today. But you've got us instead. So you'll have to make do. But today, for a bit of fun, we are venting our daddy issues because today we are going to be rating daddies of Warhammer.
So this is both Warhammer fantasy and 40k. As you can see, we've got a whole plethora.
Say dad, say father.
Daddies. Daddies. So this is a daddy stream.
So without further ado, should we get cracking or should we go through the donos first? Yeah.
I haven't seen a single Warhammer message in the chat for the last minute or two.
It's been nothing. Say the N word.
Well, to kick us off then the first donation from set for $4.99 a little bit for the best channels on YouTube. Sorry in advance if I can't say all the way through. Keep up the good times. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
Would you guys like to read the next few? We've got three more. Sure.
Sure thing. Donkeyman USA. Thanks for the fiver. Hal Goon so hard he delayed the stream not once but twice.
The one is mighty long of Cygnus classic. Where's the amber daddy? He's not here today. Unfortunately. Thank you. I mean, if it's virtual, you're you're you're regular. I guess all of you are at this point. Thank you.
As always, hope you're having a lovely New Year. Sorry to hear but all that shiz call in my New Year's resolution is use that kayak I got a while ago. Awesome. I hope you enjoy it. Yes.
And a Dan Faye or a dance the first Eldrad is my daddy. Thank you very much. Huge, huge. Another person who likes elder elder already winning.
Eli should love his wife so I love my wife. So, technically the first bunch of these are all technically gene daddy so we know they have children.
But we're starting off strong with the lion D tier, not a good father. Absolutely terrible father. All right, now takes his own son with a backhand.
Can we can we add an F tier, I don't think he's going to F tier but true.
And it wasn't on purpose, but you don't backhand your son's skull.
Not have some issues. If you do not like dad's special interest he will disown you. So,
so we'll put him in D for that because yeah Nemille poor little guy who's just like, maybe we should do what your dad said, but sharp.
Although he is now looking after as a strange children known as the risen with two Z's.
Yeah, does he get a promotion to see because he's now learning he's a bad, he was a bad dad and now he's like, come back cigarettes and the milk quit smoking as a compromise.
I don't know if he should stay at D is like the vast amount of information we have on the guys during the heresy.
That's fair Jake Thornton said D for decapitation. I think that's fair. Next year dad, a or S. Why? What do you mean he's a great dad, he always was. He's a little bit he's a little bit pressuring.
This is a pretty heresy full room.
If we're including like what, no, it's not just free hair see full group.
But he has a program is as to your is F tier so put them in B, I guess.
The thing is, isn't there like a passage where Lucius makes a remark about how they've been doing naughty things to each other and like full groom makes a comment and you're like, dude, that's your son.
What are you doing. Stop being Empress children weird.
It's why I say, here is he here is he for him is a bad dad but pre here is he's great.
Yeah and also he kills, he also kills his son by decapitation, I don't want to go to revive him. It's fine. I really think you should go down to see crazy.
Look, if one of your kids is so filled with hated you, he sits in a cave for 10,000 years to blow you up. New exceptionally bad.
But there's more hair see than pre hair see so I will admit to I'll grant you that but I think we got our first year elder would just win more often.
We definitely have an F tier contender.
Robbers got to be an F surely is better off.
Hello children, how are you all kill yourself.
The first like five minutes of meeting him.
Just, just a quick question. Do you guys like remember anything nice he's ever done for anyone.
He was a nice guy in the beginning of his prime work before he, when he was nice to his family. But I haven't read that for years, so I can't remember much.
Okay with Magnus, but he was kind of like playing with his Thomas the Tank Engine was friends with like, it's pretty cool.
When Fulgurum got shot in the head he was like, crying and sad and stuff he was he was by his with Fulgurum even if Fulgurum led him to just the goon session.
But he did.
Reading a passage from Angelic Sterbinatus and it's like he did, like, he was pretty upset when Fulgurum when you know, sicko demon Prince mode.
Yeah, but that's still like, not a nice action that was just like I feel bad. And that's also not really relating to his kids who again, one in 10 of you need to kill yourselves right now.
With your bare hands no less. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, not even do that.
Nine out of 10 of you need to kill the other one out of 10 of you.
Yeah, of your 10 man squad which you will actually get on really well like the one who's the worst like just kind of like, not good, not good, not good.
Although, although I will give him credit for that. That might be the only ever seen use of the word decimation being used correctly.
Because it got the amount of times.
It has two meanings people.
Yeah, and I get comments like, actually, am I coming to different things.
I know.
People who actually you want that deserve to be decimated.
Yeah.
There are parabas in their own right.
I know where you're at.
He's probably a tier. I feel like he's a bit of an absent father sometimes unless you're a main character.
He's an absent father.
Also half his, you know, a big portion of his sons turn traitor.
And you know he has to deal with that.
And he gave me since there's an offer to like redeem themselves.
I think he's a yeah but that was that was redemption and death that I feel like a really good father isn't going to tell you to redeem yourself by dying.
And he's also one of the few Primarchs who adopted an orphan son review a la vida, who went on to be the grandmaster of the Grey Knight.
All right, well, Gilman adopted like that.
I think he's still at he also has left his kids, like half the other primark.
Like, he's not exactly around.
I'm not trying to argue him down to anything lower than a tier, I just think like,
I think that like a conversation, I don't I don't I don't think the con is like, s tier dad material.
He's not going to tell you about the birds and the bees.
He's going to give you some weird aloof like metaphor and make you figure it out yourself and then you never actually figure it out.
So then you're all messed up when you go to high school and it's like, you know what, this is the thing like the con would be like, hey, I'm going to teach you how to drive.
And then he's like, hey, you speed and you go too fast.
I'll let you make the mistake and I'll let you come home and I'll have my arms crossed and go, what did we learn?
And that would be his parenting. So he'd let you go out and like go skateboarding.
I think you ask him how to drive.
You ask him how to drive and he says something about like, you have to feel it and then doesn't elaborate and then just let you do it.
And then you.
I think Jagged Eyes driving advice is going to start it and with him telling you to put kickstart my heart on the radio and then peddle to the metal.
Why is he not an S tier? That's a great dad, if ever.
And then he goes, drink your milk. It's like, yes, dad.
Drink the milk.
He would also not get along with the other parents.
He'd be like, I feel like he would tell his kid to go beat up the other kid.
I know, you know, he would be sorry.
You go first. I think we might be about to say the same thing and now go on.
I think I don't think you will go on.
I think you ever hear like, you know, my dad could be to your dad.
I think Jagged Eye Khan would rock up, kick the other kid in the face and then go punch his dad to know what I was going to say is like, if ever you went to like an activity and it's like you got the kids all like singing their parts and then Jagged Eye would be the guy who's like in the background.
And he'd look at one of the kids dads and be like, kid sucks at singing.
Like he wouldn't like gloss over it.
He just like their shit.
And that'd be like his thing.
Like he is correct.
And he probably like he probably wouldn't say that just flippantly.
It'd be more like if you told off if I was if I was Jagged Eye's son and I was bad at singing at the Nativity.
He'd be like, yeah, you could do better, but your kid sucks.
Yeah, thanks dad. I'm being bullied. My dad could be up your dad and child.
Anyway, next, speaking of being up to him, Leman Russ.
He's an okay dad.
Has he beat up children?
I guess probably when they're all drinking.
He's probably beat up a child at some point. Yeah.
I think Leman Russ would be a much better uncle than he would be a dad.
He's a weird one.
Like he doesn't he doesn't actually like act like his sons actually do.
He kind of puts on a facade.
So how does that translate to being a dad?
Like, oh, my sons are all Viking Lappas.
But like me, I'm just doing it to like humor them.
Is that probably not the best thing?
I don't know.
It's a bit sus to me.
Beats you very much into.
He'd be the guy who's like, oh, break into the liquor cabinet.
Go on. I dare you.
And then when you do, he's like, ah, that's my boy.
Like, Leman, be responsible.
Ah, it's fine.
I mean, yeah, you know, Leman.
I like that Eli.
He'd be he'd be the best uncle, but he I don't know if I want to have him as the dad.
What do you what do you mean?
You don't want beer for dinner and breakfast and lunch.
Put you in your cereal.
It makes you strong.
I have a hangover.
You're seven. You're fine.
Chips.
Absolutely opposite.
Like Rogal Dawn.
Rogal Dawn would be the guy who sends you to boarding school, right?
You could not talk to your feelings about this guy.
No, no, no.
He's literally a wall.
He'd be talking about birds or bees.
Now go to bed.
Funny enough, every time he had feelings, he couldn't talk about them in the hair.
He didn't know how.
He does have his grandfather's blankie, though.
He has grandpa's blankie.
Look, I think Dorn would be a very stern but fair father figure who loves you.
He just doesn't know how to put it into words.
So he so he invite.
Look, I'm just saying every every single bring your child to work day he's bringing you with.
For you.
I don't know if he gets 18.
I feel like if you if you disappoint him, he will like borderline disown you.
You will be a doctor.
You will be a doctor or a lawyer.
Dad.
No.
And he would be like, as soon as you finish school, you're going straight to work.
You're going on the building site straight away.
And you keep as soon as you're 16, you're not you're paying rent.
You're going to make your way.
But but if you're a good boy, when it's bring your kid to work day and he's building the Imperial Palace, he might let you fire off one of the guns on the wall.
Here is the musket.
And eventually you get the rubble houses over there.
Could you just build it a bit like three degrees to the right?
You know, also, that is a good point.
He if it means getting back at Perot, he's going to let you die.
And yes, then just the iron cage and you know, look, that's not look, that's not great.
But all of his kids are equally as like wall he is.
So they all wanted to do that, which granted isn't great.
But you know what it'd be?
It'd be if you threw eggs at someone's house, he would give you a massive telling off unless it was Pertorabo's house, then he would see how you well done.
He'd be in front of him and say, Oh, I can't believe you sick has been throwing eggs at doors.
Somebody clip that out on well done.
He'd buy you another program of eggs and say, go back to it.
Mission's not finished, soldier. He hasn't moved.
I've got you some eggs and a nerf gun.
Oh, after you're in the way, does that that con.
Conrad's right here.
You got to work for the children. No, no, put him down.
The impression he's arguably even worse than Pertorabo, I think, because he let his kids become what they are.
And then he said, I'm fed up with this planet.
Help me like murder everyone on this planet that I'm from, because they've let me down once again.
Like, OK, Dad. And yeah, Jago turned out quite well considering.
I think one out of like a hundred thousand or however many totaled nightlords there would have been is like, that's that's a very bad track record.
Yeah. Like you've got stoic daddy issues and then you've just got like hot topics daddy issues, but not in a cool way.
Like a kind of, oh, it's past its time and it's a bit depressing.
Oh, gosh.
How did that. Are you reading chat?
See a meme. I'm reading chat.
Eli's wife is a nightlord fan.
Unbelievable.
I think I don't know enough different ways to spell Braden and chat.
Sanguineous. He'd be a great. He is a great dad.
Surely he's the best dad of the lot of the other than Gilliman.
I don't know enough about him.
He loves them. He loves them a lot.
He only kills them when he has.
I mean, I'll give him credit.
He did it when, you know, they were berserk rage monsters.
Yeah. If your kid had like unkilling rabies.
Although I don't know, he could have locked them up. I'm pretty.
The red thirst is the one you can kind of like.
Yeah. The tough and through, isn't it?
Black rage. You don't generally. Black rage doesn't turn off unless you're Mephiston.
Although even the red first during the heresy when it started to crop up, they were getting too thirsty.
And he was just like, ah, he's not getting better.
My boy, my boy, my beautiful boy.
And then Horace is like, what's going on here?
I was like, don't know. Don't tell dad.
It's about them. Don't worry about it.
They taught them to paint, which is really good for a Warhammer person, because that's like all.
He taught them to be in touch with their feelings when they made chaplains.
He was like, we already have them. Yours a cringe.
I already have counselors in my legion who look after us.
He's he's inspiring. Everyone loves him by default.
Just by looking at him, they cry. I cry every time I look at a picture that I have framed by my bed.
And I'm a Jagatai boy, but I can't help but cry when I see Sanguineous saying that he's Uncle Sanguineous.
He's great. He has no flaws. He's an angel.
It's a beautiful. Not at all. No flaws. No, not a single one. No.
Do you want to say something? If you say so.
I'm just saying I think he had some anger issues.
No, I thought it was going to be mean like, it's one of our wildest sanguineous has no flaws.
I don't know. Being dead is a bit of a red flag.
It hurts. It hurts my soul.
I guess that does make him an absent father, but I don't know how much fault I can give someone for being dead.
That one's a bit harder to do.
Especially fighting like the worst threat imaginable.
Do we want to read some donations before going further? Absolutely.
Would you like to give us one Eli?
Stealthy 47. Good number. Good agent. Thank you for the two dollars. Slashes both mommy and daddy. That is correct.
Madami.
Donkeymaneous say thank you for the two dollars. Conrad Curvace. Flamey Harder. Okay. Let's get that off the screen please.
Angry Homunculus. Thank you for the five. Storytime on unknowingly touched and nearly clipped some dudes.
Gillamond model in the Warhammer shop in Enfield. Holy cow. Sorry. Thank you for the five. You should have finished the job.
Good job. Parker Simon. This man lives in the UK. Thank you for the 4.99.
I bought my nephew a trampoline. Ungrateful little bastard just sat in his wheelchair and cried. Oh my gosh.
Where is that from?
That sounds like a Percher Abel quote.
I've heard that before.
Romulus. Thank you for the five. Colin is the biggest Bretonius imp and he really thinks that Malheath is the true phoenix king. Well this Colin guy sounds quite reasonable.
Damn I think this Colin guy needs to get brutally murdered.
Angry Homunculus. Again thank you for the two. Dorne is a military dad. Very true and I feel like those have a high chance of being whack.
Donkeyman USA five. Thank you. Female Nightlords fans are the weakness of all emotionally starved men. Very real.
I can fix her.
Well again even.
Cannot.
Me and Connor.
I want to.
Arthur Bones Mr. Bones 40k we're talking about like the phenomena of like girls who like Nightlords like what's good and he likes Nightlords too.
It's just like what's going on with those ladies.
That's a lot of damage.
Oh he's put it in the chat Rocket. Very nice.
I don't know what that means but still.
It means nothing. It means fucking nothing.
I feel like that should be more like if you're into the Death Guard you're a rock girl but oh well. I'm too old I don't get it. I don't know what's happening.
Illman as Elizabeth Young's undying lust. I mean respect. Interesting. Interesting.
So real for that. So real.
Speaking of undying lust Ferris manners. He could have been a good dad. No. No. No.
No. I'm going to see with his best buddy.
I think he should be worse than he's not F tier but he's a taskmaster. He won't do anything other than like he wanted to fix his kids problems at least.
He just didn't get the survival long enough to do it. Yeah. Yeah.
That's what happens when you're the first one to die.
Well the thing is he's better than Pertorabo because he didn't like go I need you guys to suffer so much.
Go kill each other.
Please kill yourself.
So he was like but he was less compassionate than the lion which is saying something because it's the lion and he's all like hey it just reminds me of like Sigismund's novel.
There's a bit where he fights the iron hands champion called Foth or Fott.
There's a joke in there somewhere about Ferris's Fott and he like gets beaten by Sigismund and then there's like you know for a fact when doors are closed Ferris is like punishing that guy for not doing it.
He's punishing that guy for not winning like badly but he'd live I suppose and he'd be like well now you get it.
Bad news. I'm gonna like break your arm. Good news. Here's a bionic one.
He's a dad. That's Ferris down to a T.
He's a dad that forces his kids into sports and competitions and stuff that they don't want to do.
Ferris is also the guy who goes you're doing this sport and this hobby and this sport and you're doing this homework and this and these are the grades you will get or you are going to have problems or I'm going to go to sleep at this time.
And if you make me look bad in front of any of the other parents you I would kill you.
That's Ferris. The lion will just leave a six year old at home for a week and wonder why they weren't able to manage themselves and wonder why the house is destroyed when he comes back.
The lion will release you into the forest of Caliban and just be like he'll be fine.
See him in a week.
You got a little Timmy.
Yeah like a stray cat. Oh there we go another great dad.
Angra could have been a great dad. He could have been a great dad.
He was made to be a good dad and he messed it up because someone had to put nails in his brain.
He didn't mess it up. He didn't mess up anything.
I don't fault him for that but also like functionally that means he's a real shit dad.
Well yeah he's terrible. He could have been great.
He's all ended up.
Surely he's not even. Surely he's F-tier.
The first time he meets his kids he kills them all until.
Oh yeah.
Until Carden shows up.
Until Carden finally gets him to stop doing that.
F-tier dad for Carden. F-tier for everyone else I guess.
To be fair I did a voice line for Warrior Tears video on Angra and I was Grea who was like the original first captain.
And he's just like ah hello my lord. I can't wait to help you reclaim worlds in the name of the emperor.
He says the name of who? And he just goes in and I'm like ah that was a short part.
Oh well.
And yeah like Carden's dad.
I tried.
Seeing all of his brothers smeared on the walls and he's like.
Right this is the worst interview of my life.
Okay.
Things have been better.
Surely this is one of the best dads we can get.
Yeah.
Although I feel like he'd be too busy for you most of the time but I think he's still a good dad.
He's a good dad. I mean he'd be like I'm very busy Timmy but do you need a hand?
Okay ask your mother. Or he'd be like oh okay like okay.
Okay. Tarranic. Tarranic. Four. Okay cool.
Give me a minute.
Daddy's got a lot of work to do. I'll sort it out later.
I think.
He does crack jokes with his sons. He's a good man.
Yeah.
Good dad.
He's a good dad.
I mean you know you were talking about the adoption thing Andy.
You know he adopted two entire legions of kids.
Just quietly brought them into the ultramarines.
Oh those ones. I thought you were talking about Secundus for a second.
No no no.
Well technically Dawn did as well. They had like one each.
Yeah Dawn yeah. Or they split it or something.
For that I'm going to put Dawn a bit higher than Leland.
Also like during Secundus it was like hey guys we're going to make the biggest pillow fort in the universe.
Come to Uncle Rabutais and you know they're like oh yeah.
Dark angels blood angels a few white scars and say this will be fucking cool.
Uncle Gilman's got the biggest house there is. Amazing.
And then Curse has to go ruin it all by massacring civilians and trying to bully his mum.
That's not good. And he did have a good dad.
To be fair.
All the people who put on it's like Angon kind of had a dad but he died.
Paderabot had less of a dad more of like a jailer.
Lion had a dad who stabbed him in the end.
Yeah that did happen.
Fulgrum had like a cooperative.
Dawn had a granddaddy.
Fulgrum had a granddaddy.
Well there's a lot about it.
Dawn had a granddad because he was like oh the really old guy from the Dawn tribe.
Leman had a dad who died of old age which is rare in Fenris.
Jack if I had a dad and then someone had to go and kill him and ruin everything.
And then like yeah Gilman had a mum and a dad and the dad died but he also had Gila mum.
And Gila mum is the best mum in 40k.
Tom Warren kind of kind of spitting.
Gilman's the overworked businessman who never spends time with his kids.
But when he says he's actually doing it to give him a better life he actually means it.
And he's not just hookers a blow in the office.
Also like you said Andy I will say I don't know how much credit it gives Gilman.
But like the only Primarch where the ultramarines could realistically expect to meet grandma.
Yeah and also the only one around other than the Lion who doesn't count.
It's like too fair. It's like it's pretty good dad to have.
He has most of the Space Marine chapters. He's now in charge of the Imperium entire.
He's the kind of guy who will build like a house for you to live in not for him to be like look at my big house I'm so great.
Yeah your pension is has never been more secure than if Gilman's your dad.
Yeah Gilman has so many trust funds it's unbelievable.
Everyone's benefiting from those trust funds.
Whereas like Jagatai is like I've got you a lot of land. It's like thanks dad.
But Bobby from up next or his dad's got like 1700 houses and like yeah he's in charge.
But grass is fun but I kind of like bricks and marble.
I'm going to say C.
I've only read like three Death Guard Horace A.C. books but it didn't seem that bad.
I mean that's why he tripped up in the end too because his kids were suffering all around him.
He was like I don't I don't want to watch this anymore. This is horrible.
Which is great. Even in his Primark book it's pretty cool. He's sorry.
Oh no I've delayed sorry.
Like you know granted he did stop the suffering by pledging all their souls to hell which not great.
But again it was stone out of love better than again anyone in F tier.
And bro took the longest dad nap ever.
Yeah.
And to be fair there's also like a nice exchange in Mortarion's book where it's him and him and the barbarians were all like trying to kill the necromancer lords.
And one of them calls one of the others bitter blood because he's like I tasted blood and he's cracking jokes at the expense of his son.
He's like oh dad. At this point he's not his dad. He's like his comrade in arms.
And then they put the gene seed in him and he's like now you're my daddy.
And he's like oh OK. But like he had like a bit of a very dry sense of humor.
He was at the end of it trying to do well by his sons.
But he did like order the purge of like a large portion of his sons that didn't agree with him.
So I'm like OK. Yes you were nice to your sons on that bridge when they were turning into like Nergal plague Marines.
But you also went after my boy Nathaniel Garrow which makes you an idiot. And I hate you.
Look I think C is fine. Yeah I think so too.
What about your unfal? We'll go together then shall we?
Yeah it's sad. Why are you saying it's sad? It's really bad.
Fulgrim was also part of that and he's in C.
Oh true. But why is the lion here for backhanding one guy and these are like mad?
Because he has he has tism bro. He has the tism.
I see what kind of stream this is. Look look look the virus bombing thing isn't great.
But that's like there's a level of detachment when you backhand your kids head off you are like you are in the trenches.
You are there. The lion is not going to be a good dad bro. The lion is great by himself.
He's going to go out and do his own thing and you're never going to see him again.
I like that mentality of like you shouldn't hit your kids but if you firebomb the school they're in it's fine.
What is going on here? What's happening? That's nice and quick.
It's just passionate. Okay whatever.
Oh here we go. Worse than Magnus. Get rid of Magnus.
He's an enabler. As much as we give the lion grief Magnus in his book when Prospero is under attack.
He hides the space wolves presence from his civilian populace and his sons.
And then one of them I think it's Uffa Zarr. He's like Scarab of Colts come with me.
He's like dad space wolves come and kill us.
And he's like no don't worry about it. We should all be dying because we're bad.
He's like no we should protect. And he goes and he just like kills him.
You're such a dick. Yeah see that one was not an accident.
That one was not the lion who just put a bit too much juice in that swing.
That was like I'm so self-loathing I should like let all my people die as well.
Rather than evacuate them or let them know.
And then worst of all he then has a change of heart. He goes no actually I kind of like living.
Oh you're the worst. Screw you Magnus.
After he had already cast power word kill on his kids.
Yes after he'd done the what's it Dr. Manhattan on Rorschach.
I don't know if you can reference me to that.
And I've killed Colin. Is he F tier or D?
He's either top of F or bottom of B.
He had good dad moments before all that stuff happened I think.
So I think he still didn't get D.
Like what?
What do you mean? He was pretty nice to his kids.
He had good stuff with Aramund.
He was trying to educate them.
I mean at the same time he was like send your kids down the dark web and see what they find I guess.
But he was right there with you.
He was in the computer right next to you.
He encouraged their abilities and stuff you know.
He was all there like ah I've taught you literacy up until Ligma balls.
He trusted Aramund with the you know the big book.
That's pretty big.
Good decent dad stuff.
Horace.
Horace himself. Mr. Charisma.
Like Colin would you like to share with the chat a book you recently got?
Ah yes.
Due to a deal, somehow I would like I have purchased the audio book of Horace Rising.
Goaded book.
Huge.
I have heard it's a good book.
The first three Horace Heresy books are good because that's when they planned it to be like a ten book series and not a million.
Yeah sure.
To be honest my favorite thing of those books is the voice they put for Horace.
Which is like hello everyone I'm Horace Lupical.
And for some reason I talk like this my son.
I talk out of my nose rather than through my mouth.
I'm like fair enough that's a boy for Horace I suppose.
I don't know why you guys are stuck with me.
It's what's his name who did Hells Reach and all sorts of it.
It's what's his job.
Good good audio guy but like for some reason Horace he just made him really nasally I don't know why.
So cute puppy.
He's getting up at me I think he wants to leave.
Puppy you want to help rank Horace?
Dog.
Dog dog dog.
What a cutie.
He's so small and fluffy.
Headphones are a lot harder to put on one hand.
Alright alright Bucky.
Where do we put Horace?
He seems confused mostly.
That is most of their reign.
I am confused but endearing.
Nice.
Eat the dog says thank you.
No.
Don't do it.
Horace also brought his kids down the whole Horace heresy.
Yeah you know it is named after him.
I guess it's got to be.
He loved them a lot to be fair.
He did but didn't he also kind of like encourage every bad thing about his legion that caused it like the like the like God.
Warrior lodges there we go I totally forgot that he was like yeah you know that kind of competition is good
and that kind of competition led to some stuff.
Because the thing about Horace is weird is I think one of the biggest problems of Horace as a character is that it's kind of ambiguous how much of it was Horace and how much of it was like chaos using him as like a puppet.
Where it's like up until he gets stabbed by the spear of rust it's like that's not really Horace that's like Horace.
Like I am Horace almost says like I never quite know how much authors authors make whatever they want them to for convenience.
Chaos.
Yeah all right but how about this like you know we were talking you know we were discussing Mortarion you brought up the whole virus bombing thing that was that was Horace. He was the dad who said we need to do this and then convince the other dads to nuke their kids.
After being stabbed by the chaos.
All right then Bucky where should we put.
Yeah but he still did it. It's like the same thing as Angra I'm like yeah Angra probably would have been great without the nails but he's got them.
Sure Horace would have been great if he wasn't stabbed but he was.
Also, again, I'd like to point out, we'll just look up to S tier at Gilliman who got stabbed by the same sword and he just went nah, nah I'm built different.
Not me. Couldn't be me.
Not Corpheron, you're rubbish watch.
That heart of yours. Do you mind if I borrow this?
Yeah poor Corpheron.
So yeah, we're thinking D?
Yes, I will be right back because I think the puppy.
Yes thank you buddy is gonna is gonna go upstairs because he's getting up.
I will leave with you leave with you. I think Lorgar is eight here.
And I will let you stew in that one until I'm back. I'll be right back.
Right. No, we're gonna do some donos until you get back.
I'm not letting that stand, that's rubbish.
I'll get a couple of these Tom, Tom Kerber for $10. Hi guys. Did you know someone made an AI Skaven song?
I believe it.
Sounds like something the Skaven would do.
A dance the first again Ferris is a bit over his head when it comes to.
It's a cool profile.
Thank you. Thank you for gifting the five little crimes memberships. Thank you very much.
Would you like to read these ones?
Sure Tom Warren, thank you for the $2. Oh my gosh Horace was a beetle all along.
I get it. I get it. Hollow network host $5. Thank you.
Morty is worst son ever. Also lion needed to stay looking for the milkman.
Mr. Sleeping Beauty wannabe Bretonian. Wow, that is quite the sentence.
Thank you. Thank you. Don't you mean USA for the $5. I go into Jonathan Keeble, his got your voice.
Thank you. I'm sure Colin does as well. Speaking of you go into Jonathan Keeble as document USA also does, I guess.
Who's actually specifically a guy who is Brian blessed.
Yeah, Jonathan Keeble's probably read the books before and done the voice I imagine.
We were reading dough knows until he got back calling because Andy refused to slide the set.
Thank you for the $4.99 Toby long worth giving Horace and Garns the same voice.
That is funny. Yeah. Thank you very much.
Donations guys. Technically I go into the dead list for the dark god shorts. Thank you.
Thank you. Shackle shower. Really just said that on the on the on the right. All right. I got baited so hard by that.
Good Lord. Explain yourself. What are you talking about? Why are we putting him so high?
I think Orgar is a spiritual man and I think he would be there for his kids when there's some trying times.
I think he would be present and he would do his best.
And, you know, maybe maybe be tear given everything that's happened.
But I think he put in the effort, which is more than a pretty decent amount of people on this list.
Both you've already gone through and upcoming. And I like to think he still tries.
Can I counter that with one factoid? Of course.
So bear in mind, the word bearers currently are the only intact legion.
But Lord has been like stuck in his tower for like ten thousand years meditating and or gooning without any contact.
I'm pretty sure he's doing something. I don't know where to find this.
Lord, Lord, Lord. I've heard he's doing stuff.
There's this crazy bird that keeps attacking him every time he leaves his house.
He's on house arrest. Also, also, that is full.
Lord, Lord, I fed his children to demons. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he's pretty bad.
Pretty bad. You know, you know, maybe bump him down a rake or two.
You know, I did be a spy. I think he deserves to be.
He he cares. A lot of them seem like pretty willing to the whole demon thing.
And then they were. It was pretty cool.
Look, all I'm saying is, if you imagine all the kids like imagine the Space Marines were kids in a school and the Primarchs were parents.
If you went to school, there was a whole class of like law guards children and they were like, hey, do you want to like read this book of this?
This is really important book. And say, oh, by the way, if you don't read it, we're going to like use your blood to draw new passages in the pages.
Like bad parenting. But this is how it was at first.
I blame the first it was burning books and churches.
Always always a choice. Blame the emperor. It was like burning books.
It was like that scene in Indiana Jones is like, yeah, that was what they were doing before.
And then they were like, oh, no, I understand.
And we need to burn everything other than this. Ah, ah, oh, chaos.
Mm. Yum. Mm. Chaos. Like, no. What are these? What are these freaks?
Put them in the bin where they belong. Yuck. Bad dad.
Can be tier.
Competitive.
I love you.
Is your real.
Self-defense.
He is correct. Good.
I think really well, because I come on. Put them up there.
Although although he's making his kids go on a silly quest to find all the relics and then he'll come back.
But he won't come back unless they get the silly quest done.
I don't know.
That doesn't seem.
Look, look, look.
Go ahead.
A quest is healthy. You know, it gives you something to do.
It gives you busy. Keeps you off the street.
Yeah. I mean, if I'm being honest, imagine.
Could you imagine a galactic wide treasure hunt?
That sounds fun to me. Yeah.
If I was a kid. Oh, yeah.
I'm not just like, oh, we're going to get you like.
And we're not being like, oh, under the tree at the end, there's a Hershey bar.
It's like, no, there's like, there's like a cool spear and there's like an entire ship with like a forge in it and a planet sized like thing.
And you get a free WMD. That's cool.
Yeah, it's cool. It's really cool. And Vulcan's cool and everyone loves him.
And he had a dad and he killed Eldar with his dad, which is really cool.
Never mind F to your focus guy.
It was through Carrie. It's fine.
And the kid. I will never let that go.
Sometimes it needs to be done. You know, that could have been Stalin. You never know.
Yeah, that older child.
Yeah, yeah, that was now that was like, wow.
Speaking of
no, speaking of Ravens, I know.
So I will not say anything. I've read one Raven guard book.
I would honestly put him like here because let's not forget.
He he had all the Terran Astartes and he was like, oh, Horus is making me do gate 42 where I'm going to like just send my men to like charge the gate, which makes no sense because we're not good at doing that.
And like most of them will die. I guess the Terrans will do. And those who didn't die, he said, I don't like you.
Fuck off. I just sent them off.
The ghoul stars like that's a bad dad and slightly racist dad like, oh, you're from terror.
Yeah, only my lice say us my like chaos boys are good enough.
Terran's cringe.
Yuck. It's funny message from DJ Beasts in the chat.
Eli, if you could pick between China or your wife, how would you divorce your wife?
That's crazy.
That is crazy.
Yeah, Corax is kind of dumb. I don't know. He's like, I don't like Terran's.
I'm a bit edgy.
Eli's wife thinks Taiwan is a country.
Okay, does anyone have any problems with me?
I don't know any Corax lore.
That's the most Corax response ever.
I've read 30 freaking Horus Hayacy books and I feel like I don't know half of the stupid lore.
He's got his own anthology book called Corax and it's like nothing's memorable about him at all. It's a shame.
I hit the mute button again because I'm a goofy gooner. I call Corbin and give him, look, give him C.
Look, he tries. He just sucks at it.
Like, you know, the thing where he emergency made a bunch of space marines and got Alpha Legion and it was like, damn, that's not great, but I'll take care of this.
How many arms do you have again? Wait, four? That's too many.
Not great, but you know, he did his best.
Speaking of Alpha Legion, Alpharius. Weirdo.
He was a great dad at first. I think he was S tier dad in the Greek crusade.
But during the Horus Hayacy, your life means nothing to this guy and he will sacrifice you on any mission that he wants to.
All I'm saying is, if you were again at school and all of his kids were like, I'm trying to look more like my dad in every conceivable way.
Look what I did with like my protractor. I'd be like, concern. What is going on?
You need an intervention. Yes.
I think he was an S tier dad. I think C is fine. He had some good...
Good point here from Philly. He's a chronic liar. How could you have him?
The whole thing is about deception, gaslighting, lying, and also look like me and shave your head. Never grow hair. Hair is bad. No.
Is it Alpharius raising the kids or Omegon in secret because Alpharius forgot to, says Coffee Grounds for Snorri. Very real.
Yeah, I think C tier is too nice.
Because they completely freaking redid his character throughout the Horus Hayacy because authors are bad at writing this guy.
We know he's F tier for sure.
Vestad, there is.
In the S.
Yeah.
So we're going to put him at the bottom of F, are we?
I remember my versus match. I still haven't recovered.
What did he tell Aangron again that a ghost will have to do?
Yeah. Is that about how the line went?
Aangron is an F tier dad because of this guy.
Yeah. And also he's like when he's reunited with Reboot, he's just like, ah, weapon tool.
You're like, oh, what's going on with you, Emperor? Ah.
What do you mean up to? Ah.
Yeah, yeah. Enough said.
Alcudor was better though. Yes.
He had like a human elder half-breed that he was tormenting in like his chambers.
And every time he killed it, he killed himself. He would like revive him and wipe his memories.
But he got on well with Leemon.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
Yeah, he's a psychopath just like the Emperor.
He's in charge of like the administratum and the assassinorum. Nothing shifty about that.
He founded the Knights Errant. So he's Loken and Garo's best guy.
He looked after, I say looked after, he told Endred Hart who to kill when he was in the thick of the fighting during the heresy.
And he was just like, I don't like you. He was like, well, if you do as I say, fine.
And that was Endred's story. Alcudor is the dad that stepped up.
He force choked Horus, which is pretty cool. You know, disciplining your children.
Yeah.
He's disciplining your kids and I think there's a forced joke.
At the highest. Oh my gosh.
He raised a various who ended up being a complete sociopath.
I just like how Fanquel was like, Andy cannot be allowed to have children. Don't worry, Fanquel. I've taken measures.
Anyway, see? See, Tia? Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
Eldrad, Elfman. I think where he is right now is perfect because I think he's going to like...
Eldrad, you know, the ultimate farce here, right? He's going to figure out like the best way to plot your future.
Like perfectly, except he's not going to tell you he's doing it.
And he's also going to be a huge prick about how he goes about everything.
So the path you are on with him as your dad is the route to your ultimate success.
By God, is he going to be a smug prick about it when you get there?
And also there's like no actual input from him. He just goes, trust the plan. Trust the plan.
Yeah. I would say a bonus for him is he adopted a loyalist.
Well, I say a loyalist. He adopted a word bearer who wanted to assassinate Lorgar, which is pretty cool.
But then he was like, I will like let you help me.
The option. The other option is the lava that's going to slowly like reach you on Nocturne and burn you alive is the alternative.
So it's like, ah, Barthouz is like, ah, fine. Why not? I don't like Lorgar.
Or lava.
He's in one paragraph of the end of the death and then we never hear from him.
What? OK, like fine.
He's chilling on Ulthwe. He's just hanging out.
This is fine, I think.
I need to read Veiledor and I really think he's in that.
That's what I'm reading next.
Well, he's going to come back at the perfect time in your life.
You're not going to see him until you're 25 years old.
You're bankrupt and your life is ended.
But then he comes back to save you at the last minute.
He comes back with like 10 winning lottery tickets and like a free spaceship for you.
Sounds pretty cool.
But he's left.
Yeah, he's also left you for like 25 years and also 10,000 here.
10,000. You know, that's a good.
Yeah, I guess put him above Lorgar.
Yeah. Look, there's definitely better.
I'm looking for a tree. I'm looking for an important tree.
Like, fair enough, Leeman.
Yeah, he's meditating.
I think, like I said earlier, you realize coming back, but he is absolutely the dad
who's too busy to hang out with you because the office has hookers and blow
because he's a pirate.
Can you explain this one to the.
That is a Syrian and he is an F tier guy.
I think it's I think we're supposed to be the Phoenix Lords.
I think that was the idea.
I think I think I saw like briefly what the Google said that our work was some like
alternate heresy and it's like that's the avatar of a Syrian after.
But put him like above what about the top of F tier because like he's F tier in a
real, you know, he's the king of the elder gods.
Right. So he's got to he's got to keep balance between a lot of at the time
incredibly powerful deities.
The problem is his idea of balance is a issue coming up to him and going, Hey,
Kane's murdering all of my children.
He because he is he is the father of the elder gods or at least he's he's called
that and his response to issue going he's murdering my children was to go cry me
a fucking river.
And then she did get good.
And then after he just he just separated the warp and the material.
He's like, no, now no one gets to play.
I'm taking my ball and I'm going home.
I'm taking my balls and then mine alone.
And and then when and then when Isha had the audacity to complain about, hey, I'd
like to see my kids.
He said, Hey, Kane, go have fun with her and kernels.
Just torture them.
This is fair.
Kane is F tier.
Bottom of F tier.
You have to kill yourself to get this guy to give you any attention.
Wow.
Also like a pack.
He's he's the elder slash elf god of war.
The problem is the thing he loves killing the most is elves.
The way you said that, Eli, I like the idea of like, oh, I miss dad.
It's like, well, you know how to see him loaded.
Gosh, we've got a few donations.
I think we should read through them before we get into the scene.
We need to read a few before Collins.
You want to read a few?
Sure, I would be happy to.
I always I keep going to like the stream side chat and I keep forgetting this is so much easier.
Dante, thank you for the 2500 CLP.
I misread the title of the past.
Did you more ever?
My brain is rotten.
Colin is Hansu's top guy.
Big, big, no, big.
You were six inches in techless and six inches.
Would you move forward or backward?
You ever see like like a metronome?
I hope that answers your question.
I think I'm going to read the next one.
Bunny cop with the five arriving late going back in time.
Oh, my gosh.
Sorry.
He has a passing grade, but it's not a passing grade.
You're proud of. Yeah.
Thank you.
Nice coffee grounds for snorting.
I would come back with a milk and a church wafer, but this bird keeps knocking it out of his hand.
Yes. See, it's not his fault.
Also, yes, the profile is different because he's the main character of the nearly written book.
Cool. Thank you for the 10.
Would you like to read the next one?
It's for you more serious or seven forty seven.
Thank you for the two dollars is the high mind mommy or daddy.
Either one.
But the forearm damper is your dad.
I'm more than I suppose the high mind would be both because if it's a hive mind, it's like everything that's a part of it.
Right. Theoretically.
Thank you for the two dollars, Tom.
He deserves a tier for emperor, but that would be better than F.
True.
Thank matter.
Thank you for the five dollars.
It's quite the profile picture.
I want to share a message about the trampoline my nether regions for YouTube's auto sensor is a king.
Jamie licks fiddle.
Take five clams anyways.
Holy cow. What a message.
Thank you very much.
For what it's worth, I think trampling my nether region.
The best thing I've read in a minute.
Thank you for the two down apocalypse.
Can't stick iron in your mouth and pull the trigger literally.
Thank you very much.
And then he absorbs you into him so that he can show up.
That's the attention.
He's a dick.
Necron silent kidding.
Bro went for the longest milk run in history.
Bro went to get the milk for 60 million years.
When after like making all of his people or Tom, at least he regretted it.
At least he regretted it.
And he destroyed the means like any destroyed control all of his people.
I did a bit of like a kind of genocide.
He tried.
I feel so sad.
Oh, well, right.
But the way he tried my cool chair, the way he tried was literally making 40 K as awful as it is.
That's the old one's fault.
Bro, the God of deception, frickin convinced him to do.
What are you going to do?
Looking like the sneakiest fucker you've ever seen.
Like, he came back.
He like he tried.
You just said, what about a milk run so long that when he left, there were dinosaurs on Earth?
I could find a T-Rex when he left.
I don't think he's bottom of FTR.
I think that's kind of crazy.
We're putting him in below the guy who massacred his own children for fun.
To be fair, they weren't Kane's kids.
Literally 90.
Yeah, there were elder left after.
Yeah, I think they do it on purpose.
I think they were going to get their souls.
He didn't know the guy named the deceiver is actually pretty good at deceiving.
What a surprise.
Not being funny, why would you give any credence to the man who calls himself the deceiver?
Because he wasn't called that before.
That's not the name he gave them.
We didn't have dictionaries back then.
That's not the name he gave them.
It's more on the nose than Horace doing his heresy.
Oh my gosh, he had a different name.
They used hieroglyphs, not names.
They didn't have a name for them.
They couldn't write down the name.
He was not known as the deceiver when he came up.
And if you translate the glyphs, it's like, ah, El Deceivo.
I wonder what that means.
I could give him maybe top of F tier, but not great.
I'm happy with top of F tier, I guess.
He's better than Curse.
Oh my gosh.
He at least tried.
Curse was rubbish to his sons, but that's less than 100,000 fatalities.
This is like billion, billions of people.
But it wasn't his fault.
Galaxy spanning.
It doesn't matter.
If it's not, you didn't see anything.
He did it.
I think top, maybe behind.
And also, let's not forget, he hasn't, like when he was talking with, what's his name?
Mr. I'm a scientist Necron.
He was all like, hey, if you find a way to like reverse the Necron stuff, like keep it under your hat,
because I have a feeling if I reverse the Necrons back to what they were, I might be on the chopping block.
So let's just keep them as they are.
I'm just saying.
Not a good dad.
But that's why you're making sure that the setting doesn't advance too much.
But we have funny dementia man.
S tier dad, if he remembers who you are.
Well, even if he doesn't, he's like, he's fun.
He's a great guy.
He's a great.
He's a great buddy to Oberon.
He's a great guy.
He's the guy who's still like, we're still fighting the Katana.
What a good time.
What's a human?
There's no such thing.
Eli's corp is truly impressive.
Whatever.
He's like, have a word with his original.
I'm having a great time.
Have you met Oberon?
He's massive.
I like him.
He's fun.
Even in the twice the king books, he has a brief cameo.
It's like, oh, he's just taking the piss out of the other lords and they don't like him because he's a bit of a shit stirrer.
But that's fun.
Hive mind.
S tier.
Forum number is my best dad ever.
Yeah.
The forum who says, hey, yeah, this is the new God.
You should worship them.
And then the gods show up.
And then he goes, by the way, I lied.
You're getting eaten.
I mean, you get to join on the Holy Pilgrimage.
You know, all right.
Yeah, fine.
If that's going to be an S tier, I've got a hell of an S tier coming up later.
If he's your dad, you're writing him S tier.
You don't really like.
I'm not your dad.
We're all dad together.
That's the hive mind.
And bear in mind, if it is true that the Tyranids are in control of everything outside the Milky Way, most prolific dad there is.
That's a lot of kids.
How does he even keep them under control?
Getting busy and keeping them under control.
That's a big end.
And if you're a Tyranid and he's your dad, if you're actually a real Tyranid, you get to just live forever, basically.
Get to be Swarmlord guy and have your consciousness uploaded to the hive mind, basically.
And again, I like the idea of like the family tree.
It would usually be like humongous for them.
It's just like.
Just like you were in this family tree.
Now you're in the family stump.
He lies a gene stealer, correct?
He loves Gasgul.
To be fair, he loves him.
What's his name?
The little guy.
Makari.
He loves him so much.
Here's my thing.
Are we going forward for a lot of the non-humans and non-human adjacent?
Are we judging them based on people, dad standards, or their race dad standards?
Because if it's by the race, Gasgul is on top of this list.
Because all I recently read like a thing where it's part of his book and he speaks really properly because he's like, I just got decapitated by Ragnar Blackmail.
It sucked.
But who will look after Makari?
I love him so much.
Oh, good dad.
Good dad.
Also, again, like by or standards, he gives everyone what they want.
A fight.
That's it.
Pretty rad.
Dad.
Green dad for number one.
I think Farsight's also S tier.
I don't know.
I don't know if Farsight would be a great dad.
Look, the Farsight enclaves, he adopts you from an abusive household and gives you a better place to live.
It's true.
I'm sure he doesn't let you go through too many walks in the neighborhood, but that's because the neighborhood of 40K sucks ass.
However, he also gives you the 40K equivalent of like an AK-47 and goes, do your part.
Come with me, child soldier.
Oh, OK.
We're doing that now.
OK.
Yeah, but if we're going by that logic, he at least waits till you're like a teenager as opposed to Big E down there.
He's like, oh, you've been born.
Here you go.
He'd be an OK dad.
You're born in AK-47.
He'd be the dad who's nice all the time.
You are the AK-47.
He's really nice all the time, but if you get him angry, then he'll kill you, basically.
Not kill you because he's far say he's not a Primark, but he gets mad.
He gets real angry.
He gets angry.
And if he finds the wrong secret about your government, he's going to disappear for 50 years.
And then maybe.
I want to say he's better than Lorgar because he's like, he'd be OK.
I don't know if he's great, though.
Well, I have a feeling what you're going to say, Eli.
Aren't you?
Surely.
S tier, S tier all the way.
I love you.
Aren't you?
Why could you explain, please?
Because he does seem pretty chill.
He's a nice guy.
He even helps.
He doesn't use the ethereal mind control stuff.
And he leads by.
There's not a lot of lore on him, to be fair, but he works out.
He's like the only nice ethereal.
He never gets good things said about him.
I was thinking, what is the other one?
Aren't you still trash?
He's next.
He's baiting.
Onva is next.
He's baiting.
Onva, S tier, top of S tier.
He's never done anything wrong.
No, he's gone.
He doesn't matter.
Immediately after saying, this one's the only ethereal that has to use mind control.
Yeah, the other one who...
Every time I'm around him, I think he's great.
I don't know why.
Yeah, I don't know why.
And also, it kind of smells a little bit weird, but that's not influencing the thoughts.
He's the master of the freaking undying spirit, bro.
That's pretty awesome.
That's pretty crazy.
He's a cool hologram.
If we're giving him credit for the title, yeah, that goes hard as hell.
I like that.
Just like, I'm in charge of the undying spirit, ever so.
You know what?
If it wasn't for Phil Kelly, every ethereal would be an S tier father, and it would be
the great father of our glorious Tao race.
Glory to the CPP.
A big mark against Onva is also that because he put himself in such a position of like,
you can't do without me, now his species is doomed to be like, ah, we don't even know
he's gone, and you're still following him.
And when they find out, they're not going to be able to.
Onva is a healthcare CEO.
Trust the Canadians like the literal mind control factions.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Everstore actually had an eye defender pose on the...
Oh my gosh.
Huron Blackheart.
I think we should go where Huron...
No, actually not.
I was going to say he should go where Horace is, but he's also kind of like...
He's not...
Dick.
Yeah, he was kind of a jerk from the start.
Lyft Huron was not a great guy.
He only has Imperial armor lore for the most part.
But he wasn't a great guy, and now he's not a great guy either.
No.
And he's not too bothered about killing his men if he wins.
Yeah.
He's just bitter.
Phil Kelly made it his mission to annihilate his Xenos faction.
He succeeded very well.
Honestly, he peeks at you when you're in the toilet.
What are you talking about?
What?
Oh my gosh.
Moving on.
Abaddon, as some people call him, but his real name is Abaddon.
Probably have.
Yeah.
It's been a year since I've read the Black Legion book.
Although I will say...
He's the chaos guy.
He's also is like the best stepdad for chaos, to be fair.
Yeah.
He's the daddy who stepped up.
Yeah, he is the daddy.
I'll put him up a bit.
I'm not the dad you wanted, but I'm the one you need.
I think he encouraged hobbies, right?
He's got his little brewery hobby, doesn't he?
Yeah.
Which, granted, he brews Demon's Souls and engine fuel.
But Space Marines, you got to do a lot of work to get past all those augmentations.
He moonlights as an Elden Ring character because he kills gigantic beasts and goes, look at
that thing.
Killed that.
I feel like he deserves an okay rating.
It's been so freaking long since I've read his books.
I can't remember.
I feel like...
His whole thing is like, hey, don't follow me blindly.
Here's some incentives.
As long as you don't stab me in the back, we're cool.
But if you do stab me in the back, oh, I'm going to get you.
You're getting obliterated.
You're in trouble.
Yeah.
I can't even tell who this is.
Chaos is cringe, but it's not too cringe.
Just this much cringe, I'll tolerate it up to here.
And then I'm like, no more chaos for me.
I've had enough.
I know my tolerance.
I know my limit.
Hellbrekt is F-ed here.
I'm going to say it.
I've only read a couple stories with him.
Look, we talked about...
You said Doran with the iron cage.
He's like, all right, kids, come on.
Let's go charge the fortified gun in placement.
All of the bits of Doran that made him do that is all of Hellbrekt.
True.
Where all the angry Dorsians went.
Although he did a good job with Grimaldus.
He's like, hey, rather than putting you in the front lines where you want to fight, I'm
going to give you a teaching moment where I'm like, I'm going to put you on this little
part of the planet of Hell's Reach where it's going to suck, but you're going to learn how
to not be so nihilistic and expect to die and maybe look after the men under your command
and do all these things.
He's like, ah, Grimaldus, you won't go to the front lines because I told you so.
But I'm cool and I'm going to go fight the Storm Lord.
Oops, where's my hand?
Like, yep, Hellbrekt's OK.
He's not the best.
I guess put him up to D then.
But like, yeah, he's still all of the angry Doran again.
All of the go charge the iron cage genes are in any Black Kepler.
Yeah.
Marnes Kalgar.
Papa Smurf has got to be in the top of S tier for anything.
Marnes Kalgar is always top of S tier in every list he will ever be in.
That war was so right.
He's so right.
He's so real.
I love him.
He's so real.
I'm just saying, like, you know, I can't help but notice that of every character on this
list, he's like one of three with a really kick ass video game entrance firing out the
back of a space marine drop ship.
I didn't I forgot the name Stormhawk Thunderhawk Lord Kalgar brief me.
OK, OK, let's go.
S tier, come on, whichever one is the smaller one.
One of those is really big, one of them is like really small.
And that bit was just like, I hate the Inquisition.
Oh, I was so angry.
Get up.
OK, good.
Good.
Dante.
Good.
Dad.
We're all deaf company now.
I'm not a blood angels guy.
Look, I feel like Dante would be top of sea because I think he would try.
He does keep trying.
You always are going to get the feeling he does not want to be in the position he's in.
He will try and be a good dad.
He does not want to be here.
He does not ask for this.
No, what?
Last month, I finished all my videos on like blood angels characters.
I've done them all.
And it's alarming how often it's like this character was a captain in the blood angels
groomed to be the new chapter master.
And then something bad happened.
And Dante's just there like, Eli, you know that bit in Lord of the Rings where it's like
King Phaedon, like Barry, he's like waking up and he's like, oh, your son's gone.
It's like that every few years.
Dante's like, when will someone succeed me?
I'm so tired.
Even his own dad sang when he's like, not today.
You got another hundred years and you at least.
Please, please let me go.
I think he's pretty great.
He does a lot of good stuff for his sons.
Again, he's very under set, even Sergeant Raffan and his omnibus, although Mephisto
is not on this list, he's actually a pretty good dad as well, because he looks after Rafton
Raffan.
I'd say he's pretty good, but he doesn't really have like many dad moments.
He's more like granddad, granddad, like all the blood angels going, when am I going to
get my inheritance?
Like not now.
Give it a bit.
Give it a bit, give it a 20 years.
There's one man, if there's one man who's greater than Marnias Calgar, it is this man
and only this man.
Caldor Drago.
This is the avatar of Matt Ward and he succeeds in all things always.
Although, if you're going by dad criteria, he's like always on, he's always disappearing
on his sons.
Unless you really need him.
Vacation.
You need him and then he'll show up at the perfect time.
Hello, it's me, Caldor Drago.
Is that fun?
He's fighting all of hell for the safety of his children.
How about that?
He's pretty badass in Chaos Gate as well, to be fair.
He's like, ah, stay with me in hell.
He's Matt Ward's greatest, he's Matt Ward's top guy.
He is.
But is he cooler than Marnias Calgar?
He is the coolest.
No, no, no.
I gotta be honest, I'm gonna move here.
And now we have Pedro Can, where everyone else can't.
It's Pedro Can't.
He's a goat.
He, I don't know, man.
You've read more Crimson Fist lore than us, I know that.
He saved a mother and her kids when Rin's world was falling and he picked them up and
carried the lady.
And she was all like, I'm exhausted.
And he's like, I'll carry you instead.
Pretty good.
I want to put him in A. Pretty great.
I like him from what I know, so I'm not gonna argue.
When are we gonna get Primaro's Pedro Can tour?
What's going on?
Gabriel Seth is another goat.
Gabriel Seth is funny.
He's so angry all the time.
He's like Jason Statham.
He's great.
He's trying his best to lead his kids, is he not?
He's tried pretty hard.
Yeah, to be fair, anytime any one of the flesh terrors gets in hot water, he's always like,
no, you're stupid.
I hate you.
No, you're dumb.
Leave him alone.
He's my kid.
Oh, King.
That's Seth all the time.
Even to Dante, he's like, you're stupid and you have long hair and you're a wimp.
And I was like, calm down.
We get you a whole thing being angry.
He'll go beat up the five year old kid who pushed his kid into a locker in a...
Yeah.
He'll go beat up that kid who brushed past and accidentally knocked this.
What did you do?
Yeah, he's very overzealous, but that's why we love him because he's good fun.
Even though when he sees Primaris, he's like, I hate you all.
You're not my friends.
Good man.
They didn't do it.
They didn't deserve it.
They didn't earn it.
They didn't do it.
And there's a whole bit where he's like, I know where your name comes from.
You look a bit soft.
And he fights him.
He's like, ah, you're rubbish.
But then he's at the end like, maybe you'll be all right, but I still think you need to
prove yourself.
It's like, oh.
And all the flesh terrors who are assigned to him is like, well, we don't want to be
here either.
We wanted to be blood angels.
Like, yeah, fair enough.
But he's endearing.
Belisarius Cool.
This guy made a lot of babies.
Primaris babies.
If you're his kid, you're his science experiment.
Yes.
Hello.
Look, I'd put him in S tier, but that's because I would willingly chop off all of my bits
to become a tech priest.
To be fair, he's not going to be sweet.
The thing is, in the end of the Fabius Bible book, where it's him and his clone, I won't
say much, but there's lots of interactions with him and Alpha Primus.
And you can tell he cares.
OK.
Even though it's like, you're like the template for a science thing.
He's also like, well, I do love you because you're kind of like my son.
If you know your dad was a big beetle.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I finally got the last Fabius Bible book to listen to.
It's good.
I'm reading through Lucius again.
Also, statistically speaking, right, with all the people whose personalities he's downloaded,
one of them has to be a good parent.
True.
Yeah.
And it's funny that he has an AI clone of Gilman's brain, and occasionally he just bickers
with it.
And it's like, does Gilman know I exist?
Don't worry about it.
Great dad.
He also gave one of those to one of them to Gilman of himself, didn't he?
Like Gilman's got a mini cult.
Yeah, it's good fun.
Mr. Gaunt.
Gaunt is Estia because he's not of Tannif, but he's like literally saved everyone from
Tannif from death who's still alive.
He's a really good loke.
He's pretty good.
I want to put him like, yeah, probably there.
I haven't got all of his books, there's tons, but he's good.
Kane would be a better dad.
No, no, no, no.
You put Kane in S beer right now.
Kane went to the Valhalla in 597.
One he got that he was the dad of that regiment.
He put it together and got them to stop killing each other so well that the next biggest problem
then stopped being our regiment is about like to civil war.
The problem of that was now our regiment is getting along too well and you keep having
children on campaign.
And when that would happen, Kane would then be the regiment nanny.
Kane is the dad who stepped up.
Yeah, but he's also the kind of guy who I would expect to have a couple of kids across
the galaxy that he'll never meet.
To be fair, I agree with you that I should put him ST.
Occasionally I just like to poke the bear.
He's like when he retired, he would go on to teach commissars how to be commissars,
except because he's Kane.
He would actually be like, no, no, no.
The Bolter is like the last resort.
No, you don't want to shoot your own man.
That's a very bad idea.
I feel like I feel like Kane would be the kind of teacher who goes like, oh, what's
the homework assignment?
Ah, it's stupid.
Let's not do homework this week.
Yeah.
But the lessons you do need, he's given you to them.
He's given you the good lessons.
Yeah.
Last of the commissars is Yerrick.
I don't know.
How's our resident Yerrick guy?
The Yerrick guy is not here.
I think the thing is he had a dad and his dad was like, ah, the planet's dying.
Hide in the bushes, you'll be fine.
So he was taught how to be like, his dad was good, but he's, I think, too obsessed with
Gazgul to think of anything other than any to kill Gazgul.
So I don't think he would be a good parent.
He'd probably have some knock on effect with his own dad, who was a retired astro-militarium
officer, which is wild.
You get to retire, apparently.
So yeah, I feel like he, A, but I wouldn't put him any higher or low.
I feel like he'd be good, but he'd never have time for you because he's more a grand
poppy than a daddy.
Oh, here we go.
Colin.
I'm just going to go to Mekia.
Do you need me to even bother talking?
Do you want me to open my mouth?
Just go on.
Go on.
Open your mouth.
Go on.
Just call France.
See what happens.
He's the dad of the empire.
He's the dad of an actual family.
He's a good dad.
He's a good man.
Good boy.
Can't argue with that.
Right.
Colin.
Louen.
Just delete the image from the list.
Louen Leoncur is a great guy.
Canonically a great guy.
He's going against each other.
Who's Malabar?
Can you say it?
Eli, you want to talk about his vampire son who killed him?
Anything I have to say about this?
This is End Time stuff.
I don't want to talk about End Time stuff.
It's crazy.
What happened with Malabar?
End Time's not real.
End Time's not real, but when Malekith is the true Phoenix King, it's real?
That's crazy.
Oh my gosh.
Louen Leoncur takes the time whenever he has time to listen to all of his subjects no matter
their station.
He's a wonderful fellow.
Factually incorrect.
Oh my gosh.
End Time's not real.
You know what you're doing.
You put him, you get, no, get that out of there.
No, no, no.
Big, big sorry for that.
You get him out of there.
Where am I putting him?
If I knew more fantasy lore, I would, okay, okay, calm down, calm down.
He's a great guy.
He's an SDR.
I will give him, he did have a cool moment where he helped mentor Karl Franz a bit in
the campaign for him to become the emperor.
I'll give him that.
Karl Franz?
No, no, no, that is not what that means.
Where do I put him then?
Just put him up there.
Fine, fine.
Wow, huge, huge.
So.
Hey, hey, hey, he was fine last year.
Oh, was it too late to get a last minute edition?
Who'd you want?
Gottrick.
Oh, is he a dad?
He what?
Well, well.
I mean, I guess it's theoretically like he could be a dad.
No, no, he's a dad.
Unfortunately, it's not.
It's past tense.
Is it a sad one?
Is this a snory incident?
Snory no have kids no more.
Boy, I don't want to, spoilers.
There's no way Gottrick is an S tier dad.
Dude, Gottrick was a great dad.
There's a reason he's a slayer.
And it wasn't because he killed his kids.
Because he was a great dad.
Was a great dad.
But now that he's a slayer, I don't think he'd be.
Your dad's trying to die all the time.
Age of Sigmar.
That does sound bad.
And child.
And when his other companions found him, he was sitting there gently rocking it and talking to the baby.
He has no time to actually be your dad, though.
He's got to go find his glorious death.
Yeah, but for all the children he did have and the baby he rescued, he was great.
Yeah, for like five seconds.
Then he has to move on.
For his actual kid, it was like years.
Okay, but that's not the same Gottrick anymore.
He can't be a slayer now.
He was a good dad.
He was.
Holcomb was a good dad, too.
And he's not anymore.
Crazy.
Was he, though?
Yeah, but Gottrick mid-adventure is like pausing.
Like, nope, there's a baby.
I need to take care of the baby.
All right.
I'm sure this is what the chat's thinking.
That's going in the book.
Imagine your dad putting you in a book of grudges, bro.
Oh, he would never do that.
As Thorgrim's like, yeah, he was nice to... yes!
Yes, he was great to cat!
Gottrick is great with children.
That is such a... all right, well, that's...
I'll avoid some spoiler stuff.
Gottrick is without fault great to every child they come across.
I believe it.
He calls them little one.
He's calm and gentle.
He doesn't headbutt them to death.
But he can't be your dad.
He doesn't have time to be somebody's dad.
Anyway.
I'll kill you.
Oh, my gosh.
Thorgrim.
Peppa Pig dad.
Where's he going?
Wherever we put him, we're going in the book.
We might as well get him over with.
You cannot be a good dad if you're putting your kids' names in the book of grudges, bro.
And he totally would.
Only if they...
He totally would.
Thorgrim is a reasonable dwarf king.
Did you take out the trash?
No, that's going in the book.
Every weekend.
No, keep him there.
Keep him there.
He's fine.
He's... dude.
Est here for the next one?
Come on.
This guy.
Are you sure?
Yes, dude.
I feel like these guys...
The people that he controls in Magic don't even like him.
Negesh is perfect and in all ways.
And his judgment is reasonable.
And he's never done anything wrong.
Are you sure?
He looks kind of sketchy to me.
I don't see no flesh on those bones.
He's the best.
He's got a big hat.
I am Negesh, the top guy.
Negesh needs me to win the war against Sigmar.
All right.
Eli, from a purely impartial perspective, I think you're going to be a good dad.
From a purely impartial perspective, who's worse as a dad, Negesh or the Emperor?
Probably Negesh.
Negesh is pure evil.
The Emperor is evil, but he has something left in him.
More evil than Cain?
I think so.
Negesh is the best.
Come on.
What are you doing?
You're being silly because we've been talking about Warhammer fantasy.
I don't want to spoil about that.
Archon.
I'm the guy playing Total War.
Roger Aberdon.
All right.
Well, now I'm going to fight you.
Why?
It's curious, Andy.
Which one of these two characters won?
Game's still on.
Game's not finished yet.
One of them's won, the other still has not won.
It's kind of the point.
Yeah, but if World Series, and it's like, oh, 20 years ago, this guy won, and he got the records, game's still going pretty strong.
He's maybe going to get even more wins.
Oh, high score.
It's taken Aberdon, like, what, 10,000 years, dude?
Archon did in like 20 tops.
I wonder how long the end times was.
That was like five minutes.
A million, a million planets.
Yeah, it's just one.
Anyway, is he a good dad?
Yeah, one planet filled with a guy who makes the Chaos Gods afraid.
Is he a good dad, though?
Is he daddy?
I do not think he's a good dad.
No, I do not think.
Okay.
How bad is he as dad?
Could this guy even get laid and have a kid, or is he too edgy?
What's going on with this guy?
In the realm of theory, since Nagash is for some reason theoretically not the top of S tier, I think he'd go right above this clearly biased and incorrect judgment of Nagash, right behind Kane.
Fair.
Okay.
Manfred.
He's in bottom of S, bro.
Bro, come on.
No need to discuss any further.
I like how it's just like quite clearly the worst human being, the worst being in existence is like nerd.
It's like not only is he annoying, but he's kind of like that annoying where you're like, ah, he's got such a punchable face.
And that's the only reason why he's lower.
But Nagash, whenever he shows up, he always gives us more Warhammer.
Manfred removed the amount of Warhammer.
That's a good calculation, to be fair.
Vlad.
S tier, S tier dad.
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad.
No, no, he's top of A tier.
Eli, you cannot tell me the person who created Conrad Von Karstai is the perfect father.
In his defense, none of those kids were actually his kids.
They were just the dudes who were loyal to him.
None of the Space Marines are their kids.
Oh yeah.
They're more close to their kids than Vlad is the father.
No, they're not.
Vlad turned them into vampires.
Yeah, but the Space Marines are made out of the same genetic makeup as the Primarchs.
So is the Blood Kiss, it's their fucking blood.
Yeah, okay, yeah, but the people who were still born without any of Vlad's genetics.
They were born without Killiman's genetics or any of their genetics.
But now they have it.
See, now they have Vlad.
What the fuck was that?
Someone else is yelling, clearly you're wrong.
Look, Vlad's great and all of the other great.
All of the family are joining in, they can hear what's going on.
In all other ways, Vlad's an S tier.
Look, I'm here for Vlad.
If this was a husband tier, let's top a S tier.
That's it.
It's Vlad.
Obviously the only behind the gash.
All I'm saying is he's got the best slight term, Vladdy Daddy, which we've said before.
So does Vladdy Daddy deserve to be top of A or in S?
Put a bottom of S.
Huge.
Vladdy Daddy.
Put him above the S.
I knew you would say that.
No, no, no, don't do it already.
Vladdy Daddy, don't.
Teclis, Teclis.
Look, look, look.
Never ask a man his salary, a woman her age, and Teclis what he tried to do to the Aideneth Deepkin.
Which was kill all of them.
Oh, okay.
Eli, what's your opinion on the Aideneth Deepkin?
I have none.
I don't know any Aja Sigmar lore.
That's acceptable.
We won't hold that against him.
Look, you leave my husband alone.
Get away from my husband.
Where is he?
Is he a good dad?
No.
Why?
A good dad doesn't bring children into the world and go, oh, you're all wrong.
I need to get rid of you.
He might have did exactly that.
Word for word.
That sounds pretty bad.
I feel like he's got to go here or somewhere.
But he also made the Lumineth and he teaches them.
So round two, we figured it out.
Put him in seat here.
Come on.
Put him above Eldred.
Come on.
Wow.
I don't know enough Sigmar stuff, bro.
I wish I could tell you.
I'm just saying.
How about this?
From fantasy, there was a bit where he was helping a bunch of humans through lustria.
And he was like, you know what?
The rest of the elves would look down on you.
But I don't because I'm also looked down by elves.
You know what?
I relate.
I feel you humans.
Just don't worry about Aja Sigmar lore.
Don't worry about what he did in Aja Sigmar and Teclis can be fine.
All right.
I'm not going to press this further.
I'm too excited.
He probably goes right there with Gasgol.
No, no.
He goes in A. Top of A.
Because again, if we're judging by how he is amongst orcs, like, look, Grimgore is going to lead you to the fight.
But Gasgol, like he understands sometimes there's no fighting today and it sucks.
But that has to happen.
Grimgore goes a day without fighting.
And then you're going to die.
Just kind of start dying.
Grimgore goes two days without fighting.
Anyone just randomly in arms reach starts dying.
We've never gone to three days because they will find him a fight.
No one wants to know what three day fight was Grimgore Ironhide looks like.
It'd be bad.
So, you know, A tier.
He's given him the fight.
It's not great if he doesn't get that fight.
It's great.
Unless Gris is...
I don't know. He ate his dad.
I don't know how that smacks your head.
Well, that was his.
He didn't eat his son.
I think that's okay.
I think that's a pass.
I don't know.
Right?
I am not versed in the realm of ogres, unfortunately.
I mean, if he was a bad guy, maybe that's a good thing.
He's going to throw a great feast.
You're always going to be well fed.
Dude, like, come on.
Kids like to eat food.
He's like one of two Warhammer characters who's got a song.
And the other is Luther Harkon, who unfortunately is not making an appearance today.
Who's the guy in pet who was talking about Luther Harkon like every stream?
Explore.
I will never forget.
Wherever you are, we need you.
To be fair, I feel like Greaseus, if ever you were like taking a long drive somewhere and then you had to go to a pit stop.
It's like, are we getting McDonald's?
Of course we're getting fast food.
Every time we get the chance.
And of everything on the menu.
Yes. Yes.
We are filling the car with food and that's good.
I think that's quite good.
That's a good quality to have.
I want to put him like an S because I feel like you'll never be badly fed.
Unbelievable that the that the ogre fat funny thing is above Gottrick.
This is this is absurd.
Well, well, hold on a second.
Hear me out.
He's in charge of a faction, which Gottrick isn't.
You'll be well fed and he doesn't seem to have a delicious bone in his body.
So is the Silent King.
So is Nagash.
Nagash is in charge of like four factions.
Yeah, but the thing is Nagash nor Sarek.
None of their people will have like a digestive tract.
So you can't feed them and they're not having a good time.
At least with like greases like look, you'll be well fed.
He doesn't really have a malicious bone in his body.
He's just like, I'll do what I have to do to rule.
I'll leave my dad if I have to because he's a bit of a dick.
But he doesn't seem like a bad guy.
He's just like eating.
Hey, son, do you want to go get some like burgers?
Do I?
Great dad.
This is insane.
I'm calling a press on the tea list once again.
I don't know.
It seems like a good idea to me.
I'll put a lower if you disagree.
I'm indifferent.
It's funny that it makes Colin mad.
Insane.
Fear placement right here.
Krokgar.
Lizards.
Krokgar.
I sure wish I knew any of the lore around these fantasy characters.
I see the problem with Lizardsmen.
The final defender.
They don't technically have gender because they just walk out of a pool like fully formed
as adults.
That's it.
That's how Lizardsmen are made.
They walk out of a pool.
There's no gender.
I know they're called Lizardsmen.
There's no dangly bits.
They're biologically like nothing.
I've never seen a Lizardwoman.
They don't exist.
But is he good?
I mean, he went absolutely berserk when Skrulk killed his pet dinosaur.
That sounds like a bad thing to do.
So he cares.
Yeah, he cares.
That's otherwise like...
Should we just put him next to the door?
Look, you don't know Space Marines.
Space Marines, right?
They are all brainwashed child soldiers, but they still manage to sometimes have another
personality trait.
Yeah.
The Lizardsmen are that, except they were never a human being before becoming Space Marines.
And they don't really have anything going on after them, except maybe some of the slime.
So what you're saying, the thing that binds the Space Marines and the Lizardsmen is you can
always kiss your homies on the cheek and that's fine.
That sounds good.
Moving on.
You know what?
If you want to get kissed by that roaring mouth of teeth, go nuts.
Is this supposed to be integrated?
That's Kernos.
No, that's Kernos.
I see.
He's a pretty good dad.
You asked me specifically to add him to the Dino-Gudases.
That's Kernos, who is the father of the Eldar race and the Elf race alongside Isha, who's
the mother of the Eldar and Elf race.
This guy's a literal dad.
He literally is a dad.
And when Assyrian said, I'm taking my ball and going home, no more talking to your kids,
he would do it anyway because he accepts them.
He accepted he could have been punished, but he went to talk to his kids.
I think he's a good dad.
I think he's a very good dad.
And because it's warp time, it could have been infinite years of torture under Cain.
He could talk to his kids.
I think Kernos is a good dad.
I think Kernos is a very good dad.
Of course, for me.
It's S.T.R. sounds like.
Look, I think everything you could possibly find about bad things that happened from Kernos
is other people's fault for being the worst.
Like Cain.
Every bad thing that happened.
Caldor Drago, surely.
Bro, nobody's been in Caldor Drago.
You are insane.
Where should he be then?
Also, in fantasy, he's actively with the Wood Elves every year with Orion.
The Avatar of Kernos, he's hanging out with them.
Come on.
So should he be higher?
I don't know if I can put him above Vulcan.
But he's doing good work.
He's a good dad.
He's doing a good job of his loincloth.
Vanquil himself.
Yeah, S.T.R. put him above Gatsbyll.
Come on.
Vanquil has been asking to be on the podcast for ages.
So here you go, Vanquil.
Oh my god.
That's crazy.
So, Eli, what's going on?
Eli, I think we need some mediation here because Colin's having a...
He's probably worse than Madfriend, let's be real.
No.
He's the worst dad ever.
This is a biased list.
The Gats should be top of the list again.
Vanquil should be second.
Can you explain why, Eli?
First of all, he's going to send you out to die.
He's going to create you.
And then your whole point of existing is to protect him until you die.
And then if you fail, or if he messes up, he's going to blame you for everything.
Well, because it's clearly your fault.
Vanquil is the perfect leader.
If anything goes wrong, it is clearly your fault, not Vanquil's.
Vanquil loves every...
Like, of the thousands of Bone Rippers that have been created that apply for him.
So he's a good dad.
Half of which we're probably going to break.
He's not a good dad.
No.
Isn't he?
I'm so confused.
He's awful.
One of you say he should be here.
He's terrible.
And one of you say he should be here.
I don't know what to do.
Vanquil will teach you about time-honored Skaven traditions and sayings, such as shooting the messenger and that there's more than one way to skin an infant.
That's pretty good.
Verbatim word from Vanquil.
Vanquil will teach you life messages, and he probably has access to the Skaven breeding bits.
Do we even have Vanquil with Cat anymore?
I don't even see him.
I think he might be gone.
But I do have a compelling counter-argument.
If you misspell it, Vanquil starts with an F.
What?
An F here?
What?
What the heck?
I nearly just kind of ruined everything ever because I was about to make fun of Jagged Icon for that.
Thank God the Neuron fired on what that would be.
Because that would have been Collin's done being ever on anything ever.
So Vanquil with an F. Is that OK?
Is this the tier?
OK.
I hate you.
Put him above the tier.
Actually, no.
Nagash is obviously, as I said, top of S tier.
Vanfred.
There we go.
Yeah, there we go.
Put him above Manfred.
There we go.
And there's the list.
Hey.
You know, honestly, I think I would rather be raised by Manfred.
I must admit, looking at the comments, this is my favorite document.
Andy, I better have a seat.
Can I honorable mention Tyrion like S tier uncle?
OK.
Yeah.
If for no other reason, he was like, hey, Teclis, stop murdering your kids, you ass.
I mean, to be fair, I think a lot of this would be a very different list if it was uncles,
because there's so many would be like, Leemon would be a good uncle.
So many are popping off.
We got to do.
Like you take the responsibility away, it becomes way more like S tier, S tier, S tier.
That is like any good lessons they impart on you is like just a bonus.
Like your dad should have been doing this, but he's not.
Seth.
I just like the idea of you go to like a diner and then like, oh, uncle Seth's journey.
He's like, Uncle Seth.
Oh, God, he's going to get in a fight.
It'll be amazing.
Thank God, Sigmar's not on this list.
Oh, yeah.
Like he might have he might have sexed his way across the proto empire and done nothing for any.
That is how we got at least one of the tribes of men into the empire.
Well, well, well, that was our list, everyone.
Before we go, we do have some donations to thank you very much.
Guys, got trick or no, the gas S tier as he always is on.
He is perfect.
All right.
Galactic stir bar.
Thank you for the five dollar.
Trazen has more children, victims of the gallery than most people on this list.
Real, real and true.
And he takes real good care of him to command.
Thank you for the five.
Just got here.
I'm throwing the gas into the ring as the daddy of vampires.
Real he's easily the worst in any war hammer setting.
Well, you're going to say something nice about him.
Actually, thank you for the 50 check.
I think like Spittle and Marathi are words that are unsafe to say in the same sentence when Colin is.
I need to look this word up because I don't.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, no, that that never mind.
No, you're right.
Continue.
Would you like to?
OK.
Oh, this is the one that dude.
Huge, huge don't know.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
My read, Joe.
I'm hoping that was roughly correct.
Happy to finally catch up to a live lore crime stream again.
Always have.
Glad to see you guys.
Glad to see you, man.
But just as a side note, I recently dived into AOS and I realized it's actually a really great setting.
You guys.
Colin's winning and that's 10 Swiss francs, which is one trillion Canadian dollars.
So wow.
Which is in real money.
I believe he said one point oh six US dollars.
So that's like ten dollars and sixty cents.
Give how much maple syrup you could buy.
Yeah, I know, man.
I can do math.
Dude, I took one math class in college.
I think. Have I said this before?
The the teacher walked in first day drew a square on the board said this is a square.
And I knew in that instance I was home.
It was where I belong.
Age of Empires.
Age of Empires 2 is a game about empire.
Same energy.
It's so real.
Would you like to read a couple more, Colin?
I'll get the last ones.
Sure.
Non dormiant.
Five bucks.
Thank you.
Hey, I need help.
How do I start painting an army?
I've never done it before and the models are all nice, but I'm dogged painting in art in general.
Well, I look a primer can.
Immediately you can't do it when it's cold because it'll ruin it.
But a can of primer spray paint will take you so goddamn far.
Sign up for a tournament that requires the minimum three colors on your army and then stress painted five days before.
No, don't do that.
Do not do that.
Look, Joe, go to just just find Duncan Rhodes videos and just try to do what he does.
Yeah, ironically, you're not Duncan Rhodes.
The official Warhammer tutorials are usually expensive because they have like 10 paints for one minute, but they always work.
They do actually always work.
Yeah.
All right.
Donkeyman USA five bucks. Hey, Colin, Snorrie wants more beer.
Yes, Snorrie would be a great uncle.
Never ask Snorrie what happened to God tricks kid.
Why does God trick?
Why do we refer to God tricks family and past tense?
Don't worry about it.
Don't don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
And Uncle Snorrie's fun.
Don't worry about it.
Oh, wait.
I don't want to read this one.
Acleok for the 50 CZK.
Collins forehead so big it houses an Astarte chapter called Face Marines.
At least you apologize.
So I accepted.
Also belated.
Hi, doggy.
I can pet them later for you.
Why did you say met?
Fuck you.
I'm sorry.
Romulus, thank you for the 10.
After three days without a fight is like Colin after three days.
I'm not cooting the man.
Manfred.
Sweaty, irritable, and an uncomfortable site.
Seriously, Colin, why man for the ball people?
Well, you see, look, I,
I'm pretty sure if you looked hard enough,
you could find some pics of.
Lizard women models on the interwebs.
Probably.
Another one from.
Actually.
You know, you're welcome to the GW.
They're renaming Manfred.
Manfred von Kasting to them.
Fred Von Kasting.
They're vaccinating the Skaven.
Very good.
I'm glad we got an impression from Andy.
Yeah.
I'm glad we got an impression from Andy.
I could have done.
Obama.
Well, I didn't do that.
Coffee grounds for snorting.
You can always keep.
I think in his heart.
We are absolutely passed.
And lastly.
In fact.
47.
War hammer mummy.
Tireless.
When.
Someday.
Thank you.
I'm glad I got to do that.
And then we got to do the.
The.
The book.
Which was still.
There was like still like five.
Felix books to go.
And a whole ass setting.
Change.
Well, that was good fun.
I had fun.
Are there any other any closing ports you guys have.
On, on what we've just,
what we've just unleashed on the internet.
Yeah, I think it's gonna be a good.
And.
The best.
Verses on the gas.
As he has he had a verse.
But maybe not.
Maybe not.
We'll get his day.
You doing a gas first?
All right.
I don't want to come on that.
No,
that's not fair.
Silent King versus the cash.
That could be fun.
Easy.
Silent Cake though.
It's also not Fair Fight on the way around.
And yes, if we do get enough requests, we might do a Mommy tier list, but we'll have to wait and see.
But yes, thank you
for joining us and Happy New Year's first proper stream of like
live, I suppose, of the year.
Though you guys were talking about the Warhammer Fantasy stuff last week, which was good fun to watch.
And yeah, hope you all had a lovely time. We had a lovely time and we'll see you next time.
Bye bye. Thank you very much. Bye everyone. Have a good uh,
Good day.
Bye.