Welcome everyone, it's a new year, new us, just kidding, we have not changed one bit.
2025 law crimes, unfortunately Andy is not here, he is out, rizzing, literally.
Shout out to Andy, love you brother, hope you're having a nice time.
Everyone, welcome, today is a, I've been dragged into the the glorious son of more
Warhammer fantasy lore, we absolutely love it. We're talking about fantasy lore because Andy's
not here so we can all enjoy it in secret from someone who's just only there for the white scars.
In secret from the guy who's the channel owner. Yes, oh we want to go large screen that column
on the background. We are, yeah, if you haven't noticed we don't have the usual setup and if
everyone can let us know. If you want to look at the family guy, I mean that'd be perfect right.
If anyone can let us know as well if how our audio sounds because we're not perfectly balanced but
we'd very much appreciate just being like you know our thingy needs to be a bit louder or things a
bit quiet. I am joined obviously by my, oh yeah that was new, I'm joined by my illustrious co-host
I have Colin from Pancreas No Work, Eli, Deadly from the Dark Gods, it's me Hal who's the Mr
Yellow King looking thing from the Amber King channel and we are here to discuss, well it
wasn't really discussed it was more about unleashing Colin upon the world because Colin
you want to say how this, we were trying to figure out what to do and I said half jokingly
you know I can uh I've got 35 pages, pardon me, 33 pages of geography facts and uh for some
reason they didn't do you know the normal thing which is go Colin get the hell off this podcast.
They instead said yes this is what we're doing today so uh today you're gonna learn a whole
lot about the empire of man but not in like you know a fun lore history way we're learning about uh
crops. Do you want to hit us and then we can just probably, we're gonna get straight into it brothers,
there will be a question of the week at the end as always but we very much appreciate you all
being here hope you have a nice start. And uh before we uh to your year 2025, god this does
break me to, again? Uh before we, oh go ahead go ahead, oh I would like two things before we start
at uh Coffee Grounds for Snorden, thanks for the five gifted memberships, we'll probably go through
three donos like every two or three provinces uh and then I'd also like to thank uh Battle
Chicken 12 uh for accusing me of doing 9 11. Wow. Well early. That one guy we uh we are starting
off the year as we mean to go on. If I say lock into your seats boys, clench those cheeks because
we're about to pour some empire lore uh I'm gonna stop and we're just gonna hit. All right.
I'm gonna hit play on the thing and then I'm gonna go to my notes so the empire of man it's uh you
know the main characters of Warhammer fantasy you know less so than over in a 40k in the
imperium but you know there's still. Did you hit play? Uh yes it's going. It's going. Oh there we go.
It's the stream delay now please come on. Apologies. We've been doing this for like three years now
please. Almost. That is embarrassing. That is embarrassing. I, you have to tell me. Please go ahead.
Playlist so we're all we're all in for. Crazy. Yes. So yeah empire man you know the greatest human
nation in the world uh you know not only so much competition uh but it still counts for something.
Uh so yeah today we're gonna go over all the different provinces it has uh it's geography
time people so where else to start but Reikland the heartland of the empire in a whole lot of ways
except ironically in location because it's actually on the uh western edge uh Reikland is
the main character province uh it has uh you know the city of Altdorf. Okay I think it might not
just be me though I think when you tabbed over I don't think I see. Oh man I know you are so right
about that. We are on a black screen right now. Man you are so right all right you know what it's okay I've got the notes on my phone.
Shout out to technical difficulties already five minutes and appreciate it
but we will be getting we were getting very shortly into the empire. It's there now.
Yay. Yay we got it we got it. The background videos are by the way uh muted versions of
whatever narrative stuff uh is on the total war official channel as well as all of the trailers
if we go on that long uh so don't worry about it. Uh Reikland uh Altdorf has always existed it was
once an elven colony that the dwarfs detected magic coming from which is already like all right
this is probably going to be important place there's Carl Franz on screen he's there uh pardon me uh
it's been uh always kind of a bit of a political hot spot and of course I uh you might have heard
of this man uh born there named Sigmar a slightly important guy uh word has it he's you know he's
the best god in uh in warhammer but that's just hearsay that's just my propaganda.
Reikland all things considered is a pretty decent place to live it's a pretty peaceful province now
if your only experience with it is through total war you're gonna think I'm lying to you because
Carl Franz spends pretty much the entire game hyperventilating and running around as every
faction in the game beelines it towards Altdorf but in the lore it's it's a pretty good province
to live in it's it's uh it's nothing like that you know it's had its fair share of fights uh you
know when Nagash tried to fight Sigmar and that went as well as it sounds for him the undead
attacked the Skaven when they were doing their little great war against all of the empire also
attacked but in the grand scheme of things it's like you know that's like two incursions all
things considered again not bad there's not even that many beastmen there because the forests in
this area are actually significantly thinner than most of the rest of the empire well it's
the entire empire which good old reliable gotchigan felix uh felix even makes a comment
about that in one episode where he's in a different different province it was like man
I sure miss when I thought Reikland was a scary place and not the middle of whatever province
he was in really any of the other provinces that aren't Altdorf or Reikland we have a very um
apt donation by Cope man for two pounds he says there are no rat men in the Altdorf sewers
is it real under all dwarf does not exist that goal was never there
that's a story for another time though
uh it's aside from you know somehow having plot armor as a province there's about there's
thousands of different reasons it's incredibly important since you know Sigmar was born there
it's the home of the cult of Sigmar the main religious chief uh you know worship of the empire
and even beyond that just an incredibly influential place it's of course the seat where the seat of
the emperor is uh at the moment it's the Altdorf is the capital of the empire wasn't always the
case we'll get to a little bit of that later but as of saying modern warhammer fantasy is always
kind of weird because it blows up uh but in modern warhammer fantasy Altdorf is in Reikland it's the
capital of the empire so important place more you know strictly speaking in just like a purely like
natural geographical sense it's got about every natural resource you could possibly want it has
the gray mountains which is where it gets iron gold gems all that kind of stuff making it rich
and making sure Reikland is a very well funded and armed and everything when war breaks out as it
always does uh in the northeast it's the great forest this little subsection is known as the
Reichwald forest which like i said it gives a trapping you know hunting wood cutting very
important stuff for the empire ironically enough especially the wood cutting part because they're
entering the industrial revolution and uh like i said not too many beastmen we're only down to like
five beastmen per square mile which is pretty good gotcha could felix on screen my beloved
i am going to be narrating that by the way whenever something intriguing to me pops up
and in the middle of those two things is a thin stretch of land called the vorberg land which is
it's relatively small but it still goes across the entire province and it's just incredibly fertile
for farming cattle raising vineyards all of this has made altdorf probably the closest you can ever
get to as a human nation or like just as a human in general uh having easy mode and warhammer
because usually if yeah what's the river that runs from parsley brittonian lands brittonian lands
and marienberg and it goes through altdorf is it the reich river that is the river right right yep
yep which even has its own uh minor god called grandfather reich i should mention by the way
this is uh reich spelled r-e-i-k these are these are not those kinds of germans uh interesting uh
cowards
it's an it's an interesting take on it i'm jacob jacob uh yeah so it's like great place to live
especially even like even like i would say like you know our real world history like medieval times
or you know early renaissance industrialization times not a bad place to be by warhammer standards
especially uh usually being a human in warhammer is a miserable affair but uh in reichland it's
not too bad i also assume it's the most populous as well in terms of the entire empire or is that
maybe another region i would uh i believe it is if not it's easily like top three uh the only
competitors i think there might be would be probably weason land and that is really just
known doing the heavy lifting and uh maybe mittenland too uh because mittenland is a decent
pardon me decently sized province although talabaclans also be it's it's up there it's
up there it's a it's very populated altdorf especially uh as for the people in reichland
they're very proud of uh of reichland uh they believe they live in the best province
and this pride goes to the point that they consider the people of reichland to just simply be more
attractive than anyone else in the empire that is not making that up they just think that reichland
is the best easy peasy no no contest so this is like when you go to like anywhere in scandinavia
and they're all better looking than you like it's really humbling if they won't ever been near
scandinavians god damn yeah uh when i was reading it was actually made a point to say that
i think like the quote is roughly many a reichland dandy has caused a wife to cheat on their husband
uh oh and i don't remember what you know old timey word they had for the women uh having their
husbands cheat on their wives so apparently reichlanders are just so damn pretty aside from
that like i said since they're playing on easy mode and their province has everything you could
possibly want to form a society with they've got reason to be proud of that and again sigmar was
born there if i had proof you know god was born in my hometown yeah i'd probably have an ego too
bethlehem people be really bragging yeah
so like equipment like that basically uh their pride is you know sometimes used for uh for good
because they uh they view it as like their patriotic duty to and a lot of times join the
military whenever it's required and help the less uh successful provinces of the empire i'm so glad
it zoned over sylvania and stirland when i said that because boy do i have words for them later
but you know if nothing else because of that usually when you hear about a reichlander bragging
you can at least take some small comfort and they'll at some point go to try and put their
money where their mouth is uh you know join the military defend whatever province is getting ran
sack they'll try and do you know decently heroic things with that pride on the flip side
i would probably be a little bit annoyed if someone came to my town and was like damn you know
no one here is as pretty as where i'm from you're all fucking ugly uh i probably wouldn't be feeling
terribly fond of them uh also because it's so well off and because it's between it and null
it's uh one of the biggest signs that the empire is really industrializing um it's very cosmopolitan
or trendy if you want to be a little bit less polite so a reichlander merchant goes to nordland
and just complains the whole time this season's floppy hats are so just they're not good last
season's fashion was so much better and he's complaining to a nordland merchant who's been
raided by norskens uh three times that month already it comes across as a little bit tone
deaf you know it's like you know is this really the most important thing to be complaining about
so reichlanders are they're made fun of a lot by other factions for being you know
trendy you know softies a lot of the time but the fact they've earned the right to somehow be
trendy and fashionable and all that stuff in warhammer shows it's a decent place to live
if you if you have time to worry about fashion uh it's feudalistic as with the rest of the empire
but it's progressing pretty well into more modern times like we'd have in the
have in the renaissance and just realization and almost now carl isn't the only one in charge
anything he does outside of like three specific uh things which are largely emergency related
has to be ratified by a council of important figures in reichland so next time someone brings
up the window tacks you can tell them to get bent because it wasn't just carl who put that into
put that into motion yeah you got something you want to say elia no yeah no go on felix thinks
there's an inside job real basically doesn't matter uh we did have a few donations i thought
i just just do just cover a couple of them we do appreciate them very much brothers uh coffee
grounds snorting for two bucks said uh law crime stream and scuff name a better two
oh listen we are functioning adults we didn't say we're functioning well we're functioning um
tom warren for five bucks thank you brother he says i recently learned that there are gnomes
that live in the empire and pretends to be halflings so the witch hunters don't burn them
which is a really radical gnomes go in and out of being a thing in warhammer with like fourth
edition role play they've kind of come back a lot more into prominence uh but yeah they do exist
interesting my favorite thing about rightland sure thing it's um what's the forest that's in the
rightland region the right wall forest right world forest i'm pretty sure that's where the
um demigriffs come from at least because they have um the demigriff knights which if you have
played to us for warhammer which are my favorite unit because in the trailer which will hopefully
in the trailer which will hopefully come up later on the stream for the uh you know just audio
listeners um the demigriff charge for when the total one trailer came out got me in a like i
was in a different place i'm feeling patriotic for a country that doesn't exist yes the demigriffs
are so damn cool although i don't think griffins i think griffins are possibly from another region
aren't they they're like in mountains or something or from the wood elves there are a lot they're
often found in mountains yeah uh the uh what is it deathclaw in particular was gifted to frowns
by the wood elves uh as that's my favorite thing demigriff knights with halberds my beloved um
but they are yeah they they have like interesting things in right it's not just like there's all
goody two show they actually have like monster cavalry literally yeah as part of their sort of
specialty so as much as other regions are like you know oh it's the right lenders oh my god he's
literally riding a griffin through town yeah uh yeah uh it's also the home of the reichsguard
the uh personal bodyguard of the emperor and some of the greatest soldiers in the realm unless again
you're charging down a certain dwarf slayer then you are uh cannon then you are dead but that that
applies to everyone in warhammer i'm not i'm not gonna fault them for that one um aside from that
there's of course altdorf i will not talk too much about altdorf both uh for three reasons one
i'll just be real i'm hoping to hog another episode to it
i guess it's really just two reasons and two is that i'm not kidding i think it's the single most
developed location in all of warhammer because there's a warhammer fantasy roleplay supplement
that's like 200 something pages entirely devoted to altdorf uh so that alone would make this this
about an hour longer uh but it's the rundown of it is that it's got everything you can imagine the
colleges of magic there's some you know plenty of industry it's got fishing through the river reich
trading to marienberg and the rest of the empire the imperial zoo which has a dragon in it griffins
griff you know demigriffs reichland is the place to be uh magic will just kind of randomly go off
from the colleges and no one seems to care uh it's just normal uh and overall uh reichland is a
it's pretty bustling province uh were fantasy to keep going on until like you know more modern
times it would uh it would definitely be the heart of a whole lot of change uh so with that
as we have a few donations just before we change we did have one
i thought we had it saw that one but uh so my bunny caught for 10 bucks he says oh thank the
horned rat law crimes to listen to whilst trying to deal with flabs i'm not sure uh happy new year
guys and thank you for being a good distress and listen shout out to everyone who used thank you
guys so much uh shout out if anyone is like listening whilst they you know is they sleeping
which would be a weird one or um like going to the gym or doing anything or you know driving we
appreciate you guys um parker sumlin for five bucks says fine it'll convince me to come to become
a law criminal instead of an actual criminal how do i become a member again i think it's in the
uh it's on the channel if you click on memberships or anything like that but if if you do work it out
we appreciate you so much um heed the carnics for 99 pounds very much thank you so much says
so colin i see you have found a new excuse to the nurse for marathi and carls rat this guy this guy
is a fan my god he's on point uh oh to be honest i cannot blame you my question is what armies are
you guys currently collecting wishing you all good health good luck and plentiful prosperity for 2025
thank you very much brother thank you that's very generous the answer to that question is tomb kings
at the moment nights but not great night models i'm doing it all through dark angel so yeah very
very happy with that mostly it's like a caravan theme thing oh yeah i remember you talking about
it mostly necrons and a little bit of tau uh but eldar and emperor's children are coming out soon
so it'll be it will be eating ice soup for a while thanks thanks to you and the other supporters i
might be able to afford groceries after that happens thank you very much thank you especially
to um heed the carnics that's very generous um and another i think i caught out a little bit
but i know we heard you we got you um yeah sick and uh the other one by organo for two bucks says
are right-handed women anime hot our picks are good question
so i mean colin has to answer that really uh both they're just that they're just that attractive
um crazy damn i mean we it makes me feel ugly being again it's the swiss it's the scandinavian
thing he just like just just dress like a hobo and then actually that makes it worse and they
look good in back clothing yeah never mind i can tell him okay you'll go please continue on colin
all right the warrior priest just got obliterated yeah that uh yeah uh but uh
the next one it's godric it's godric felix i think godric phoenix are you still on the empire
because i'm on uh i'm on yeah i'm watching the stream i'm watching this stream the streams up to
bellacor my guy oh i oh i'm watching oh so i was six minutes behind
okay uh okay it's uh we're coming to middenland now uh you know reichlin's the main character
right middenland is is the rival that sometimes has a leg up but can never just never wins in the
end it's uh it's oh my god i've got it it's the you say yeah but literally it's like it's the
vegeta to goku oh my god yeah uh it's uh where where reichlin has uh you know you know i'm
jumping ahead a bit it was uh it was the land of the taotigen's tribe uh who were subsumed into
the empire after sigmar was uh he walked into the flame of ulric came out perfectly fine howling
like a wolf and then caved a dude's head in uh so uh yeah you know the guy the guy kind of definitely
maybe a little kind of deserved it so don't no worries me in the weekend uh even with that
all right even uh even with that though uh middenland is still like the home of the
ulrican faith it's uh it's where the uh main head of the priesthood the our ulric resides
it's uh it's still pretty predominantly ulrican and uh they do they kind of look down on sigmarite
worship they like sigmar everyone you know it was like yeah sigmar was a cool guy good warrior but
they're like you know we're gonna stick with ulric uh which is ironically enough uh mirrored in
reichland where they look down on ulric worship which is again kind of ironic but what are you
gonna do uh it's it's an interesting place to live uh middenheim is the main city and it's built on
top of a like a plateau uh so incredibly hard to invade even before you get to the massive walls
with cannons lined all around it uh it's uh it's a bastion of the empire civilization in midland
which is important for uh reasons we'll get to in just a moment uh it is not quite as technologically
advanced as you know reichland or viesenland but it's still you know it's kind of up there it's
still like fairly cosmopolitan it's still somewhat with the times uh there's a lot of dwarfs that live
there helping keep everything running uh it's a it's still it's still a decent enough place to live
there's two main reasons i would say it's uh in some ways a little bit behind one is that they
uh reichland's forest is not too bad it's uh it's fairly clear you can reasonably go through a walk
in the forest and not get not get murdered by beastmen middenland is about 99 percent beastmen
by population uh now you know let's let's cut that down to a nice 90 they are fairly adept at dealing
with it so most of the important places in the province are reasonably permanent settlements
that aren't just torn down rampantly but it's a very constant fight they're doing to keep the
you know the province around uh for example the town of griminhagen uh which if you've played war
hammer fantasy roleplay second edition is the start of a campaign in minnenheim uh is in the
middle of both a strategic route across the province and a beast path which means every
five minutes the beastmen tear it down every 10 minutes the empire puts it back up uh rinse and
repeat for about a thousand years i don't know it's a place sucks and being a halfling there is
misery uh because you're a halfling running away from kazrak one eye uh i have some biases against
that town that are only semi lore related the dragon forest as well is it i don't know if i'm
skipping ahead but there's something else that lives in the forest as well it like turns of
elf like that's that's a bit more north that's uh that's not mittenland but we'll we'll get to
that oh yeah yeah i see i see uh although there is something else important there but we'll get to
that all that i mean we've got we've all got beef with it though the dragon forest because i'm pretty
sure this is where certain someone became as like his journey was somewhat accelerated to becoming
uh the killer of all the settings so yeah uh but i don't know if i'm spoiling should keep that
secret for a second we'll get we could tap in later what's happening later but um yeah the
four the forest does not take kindly to guests so outside of the highways and the major towns
good luck having any room for you know industry and development because the beastmen are going to
rip it down uh the other issue is that you know it's home you know to the worship of wallwork
right you know the most ancient god of war for humanity so the middenlanders tend to look down
on some things as you know inventions for you know soft weakling you know those sigma rights down
there how much to what extent you know definitely varies sometimes it's just you know a bit of a
disdain for gunpowder outside of like mittenheim's walls because you know you know you've got the
walls you might as well put a can on it that's not too bad but you know they might look down on you
if you uh train to be a marksman they're like come on man you worship all right get it get stuck in
it can extend to thinking any tactics beyond head first charge into the enemy are for stupid idiot
babies so that's also kind of hampered their development a bit but you know i'm not going to
be too mean to mittenheim and every time they lose because they thought with their biceps and
not their brain there's an instance where they won because their insane bravery just tore through
the enemy like a knife through butter so ups and downs but its ups are as of you know for the most
part balance out the downs uh pardon me uh jumped ahead jumped around a little bit my notes uh yeah
some of the beastman there's a lot of reasons the basement just really suck there
uh because it's there's like three roughly three groups you can say there's your normal beastman
right who just rampage tear down the all the stuff of men and just make a nuisance of themselves
then you have the red crown who are uh zinch or chaos undivided unlike normal beastmen they're
actually pretty happy to work with mortal followers of chaos and they're a lot more organized
uh the only saving grace for them is that whenever a normal beastman finds them they tend to just fight
to the death because they do not like the way the other side runs things and of course kaiser gweni
him and boris todbringers every time they blink the single remaining eye they have
usually start a giant war with each other to chase them across the goddamn province so it's buddies
i
warhammer's most forbidden romance
it's uh there's a lot of military activity going on in mid-inland and most of it is against the
beastman uh economically speaking it's a decent it's a decent place uh the soil's not great but
it produces enough to feed everyone keep a bit of a surplus there's not really much in the way
of livestock because setting up an isolated farm of cows is asking for a beastman raid
and there's you know to make up for that though there's a there's a pretty good fur trade
not quite everything in the dracwold is beastman so you know that's uh that's usually how they get
any trade goods and of course it's a whole lot of forests uh you know lumber uh when you have
really nothing but trees in your province you're gonna have a whole lot of lumber to export to the
rest of the empire there's also the middle mountains which you know there's a little bit
iron silver gold you know the standard mine stuff that helps keep the minnenheim's war machine going
and uh hell it wasn't elves uh but there is certainly something very old and very dwarfie
and maybe someone very old and dwarfie up on those mountains uh who might have had something to do
with the initial breaking of the chaos gates thousands of years ago but that's uh
that's something for a different time as it were uh there's there's some important stuff up in the
middle mountains though aside from that there's uh just ruins all over the province there's elf
colony ruins dwarf ruins and a whole lot more of ruins just of the empire that were you know built
during either a civil war or some incursion of chaos or the skaven or what have you
that just kind of stand there as a reminder of the fact the empire is at war as often as not
i think because um the rivalry between midland and um reichland is pretty strong but it feels like
essentially by the time of like carl franz which is the year 2500 um essentially right
yeah i think right right there's kind of leaving behind places like midland and then despite like
obviously the quality of truth being maybe you know it's just maybe a bit more ferocious um due
to the enemies they encounter i think midland it feels like it's a relic isn't it it's a bit more
of like that's what the old empire was and then reichland represents what the new well basically
what the future is for the empire yeah it kind of it could definitely be seed in that light yeah
yeah um but yeah so politically yeah there's that there's that rivalry and it kind of depending on
the year it ranges between like you know almost a friendly rivalry to uh we're gonna beat you to
death with hammers um a lot of this stems from the fact that as the home of the cult of ulric they
get two votes on the who becomes emperor because usually the elector of minland and the are ulric
they're usually on the same page so they get two reichland gets four because the cult of sigmar has
three votes so there's a whole lot of arguing over how fair that is among other things
aside from that uh it's also the province that a lot of people would say if there's anyone
just likely to outright just secede from the empire it would probably be minland but in the end
as it should be that whatever dogs go to hell
they are nonetheless they are loyal to the empire they're not always a fan of you know this the
weakling sigma right in charge but they will at the very least usually hang around both out of
loyalty to the empire as a whole and because they're oftentimes just too busy fighting beastmen
to commit to that whole secession thing uh and massive problems with whole problems as well
do they i think what the um about that the the uh was it the drachenfel or no
the dracwalled forest the dracwalled so the drachenfel is a different location the um
yeah drachenfel is uh isn't it a castle as well castle drachenfel yeah castle drachenfels were a
guy who old lore was oh yeah a guy who bossed around all of the chaos gods at once used to
live how did he do this he just built different man old lore is like crazy even this like 40k stuff
it's like bizarre i mean like even in um the uh the forest has like a massive problem with um
hobgoblins as well and so he used to freak me out it's like the ones that ride on the spiders as
well oh those are i think those are just more like just forest goblins but uh yeah they're a they're
an issue too big which is you know i mean they only have really two enemies other than if you
encounter norscan invasions but my god like of all the things you want to face them definitely not
like just to really get across to people how terrifying there'll be a trailer for like when
the beastman trailer came out like how terrifying a beastman raid is it's truly horrific so
so midland not for the light heart you know not for the faint of heart no but you know on that
note to wrap up mid and land one thing i guess you know one hurrah for them you know eli since
you're going on about they're so great i will give them credit it was the site of the last
meaningful resistance in the end times uh i think the oak of ages was the last place to fall and
sylvania and the moot of all places was where the last few remaining important characters retreated
to but mid and land was where that ritual to stabilize the warp rift and the last meaningful
resistance occurred so you know what give i'll give mid and land its credit on the way out they
certainly will get their weight and blood drawn from uh from the enemy they do good fighting
nice i was gonna say we did have one more donation just before we move on to the next one
if we if we are um bunny cop again appreciate you brother um fm la is the family medical
leave act is supposed to protect workers from being punished for being out during a family or
medical emergencies damn we're saying that's america then damn we have one from tom warren
above that i don't think we oh i don't agree i miss tom sorry apologies tom he's man is a man
is an absolute constant on the channel we appreciate and love you i assume uh felix literally is a
right linda who dresses as a hobo and still has every woman he meets be easily attracted to it
see right linders are just built different i still find it bizarre how so many people are like like
felix doesn't come across confident enough to have any riz and yet everyone's like my god that's
that's felix he's well spoken he's a well educated man but he's you know he's well traveled too he's
got that gruff bit to him he's got that you know higher class you know sophistication to him but
you know he also spends most of his time almost dying in the dirt next to gotrick you know he's
he's a well-rounded man oh and has i mean like this would what is he like a perfect mix of like
is he henry cavill mixed with prince charming from the shrek film
that's quite rude yes
yes i mean i imagine he looks like him what do you mean we have pictures of him he's on every cover
yeah he looks like i know he kind of looks like it's a little bit of prince charlie from shrek
you know it's very mean godmother stop calling him all right
okay apologies apologies keep going uh we're gonna go up north now to nordland uh it's named
because it's the north land it's really sometimes they did not try at most of these they did not try
too hard uh norska is one of two imperial provinces that borders the sea of claws
it's uh what is happening on screen there's a dwarf what are you doing here i pardon me again
i'm getting confused by the video uh so as a result of this it's it's just like a a day's
long boat sail away from norska which means boy howdy does it get raided by norskans a whole lot
to the point you can actually gauge how much of a threat chaos is at any moment by how often
nordland is being invaded you know once a month business as usual twice a month you know could be
a sign something's coming could also just be a sign that there is nothing to do in norska in a
given moment and they're bored once you get to once a week or more than that it might be ever
chosen season so it's time to it's time to get ready for the storm uh beyond that however it's uh
it does have some things going for it the imperial navy is largely based out of nordland
again by virtue of the fact it touches the sea it used to be based in marienberg and then
marienberg bought its way out of the empire so now it is no longer based in marienberg
and of course it's got plenty of fishing it's got those kinds of industries it's it's got some stuff
culturally it's kind of the odd man well there's a couple odd men's out but this was this one is
like the odd man out in the way it's like you uh you did not join in the same way the rest of us did
because it was actually conquered into the empire only about i think it was like 500 years
after sigmar founded the empire it uh it did not join right away so
not helping that is because it's so close to nordland means a lot of the people there are part
norscan by blood uh how you were talking about how this might have given rise a little bit to a certain
uh destroyer of settings uh when the norse skins come down and uh integrate with the imperials as
it were which in our k-ons case boy that's uh we're not going to talk about the specifics of that one
of how he was born but for nordland as a whole it has uh given them like i said a reputation for being
not quite like the rest of the empire when the other are they the poorest no no no we uh we'll
get the poorest is at the end i saved the worst for last i'm surprised because i you would think
with nordland due to all the raiding i assume even just for the people listening at home as well
we say raiding isn't there's there's worse things and you know chaos infused norscan tribes there
are there are literal black ships of you know what you know a floating castle of death and talk
like freely i'm pretty sure it's in the um malice dark blade book they say like the literatures have
competitions don't they in which they like read decided like oh for a season it was gonna raid
nordland yeah yeah yeah nordland uh also has the dubious honor of being the only province in the
only province in the empire that really ever sees dark elves and they are not there to trade they
kind of worsen the norscans as well because they don't they don't really want to kill you
because that would be the end of the fun so yeah don't get a slave uh we did have um two more
donations very quickly uh joseph pollard for 20 bucks thank you here's to 2025 everyone's been
very generous tonight thank you guys so much i see you thank well i didn't forget about you um dank
master for 10 u.s bucks he says whilst pretty nobles squabble over the scraps of scarcely arable
land in the empire gigachad mystical dope smoking world host p did he park with the litigious
or was it licentious uh britonian damsels and horny tree spirits wow that's quite a
thing that's kind of unconfirmed uh sure is it i mean that's like that's what i was gonna
want to ask about um earlier which was like at least in the toes of warhammer map there's
supposedly an enclave of elves you can see it on the map right now and i will get to them yes
uh for for nordland's positives you know the empire has stereotypes about the rest of the empire
it's a they've developed that it's kind of like how you know in your country you you know you'll
have your stereotypes about other parts of your own country when they're feeling polite uh the
nordlanders are you know they're a they're a simple folk but you know they're honest they're
blunt to a fault they'll always tell the truth uh they're not going to hold anyone back and they're
actually pretty renowned for their storytelling in ancient times the the tradition was really just
for bragging rights uh in modern times though nordlanders like to just compete to see who can
uh who can tell the best story you know they're like it's uh it's more of a friendly competition
it's um it's like uh everyone gathers around you know the inn's hearth and sees who can
tell the most engaging story it's a honestly kind of cheerful at worst they are looked at with state
you know disdain and suspicion especially because of that norscan influence and in fact a lot of
the southern people of norsca will actually migrate to nordland because in southern norsca
they actually you know do things other than raid and pillage all the time they still do but there
will also be more peaceful-ish tribes that actually will move to the empire for like a better life
uh it's and you know sometimes they move on over to uh to nordland because it's right there which
again the suspicion i would say is fairly unfounded because those norscans are generally just trying to
get away from the hellhole that is norsca but unfounded or not they come from norsca norsca is
where a lot of chaos stuff is so they view it with some suspicion
uh for some more mundane ways they're looked upon a common sentiment is that the reason
norscans will never tell a lie is because they're too stupid to come up with one
which hey that's not me that's the rest of the empire uh and that actually sometimes gets taken
advantage of by nordland merchants who just pretend they don't notice the sly garbage another uh a
merchant trying to pull on them uh but sometimes they go the other way around with embracing it
and will just loudly shout out the final price of whatever they're buying
so that way the merchant is too just thrown off and maybe a little bit of a
downer reputation but they will if nothing else embrace it sometimes and because of that they
actually make an effort to be seen especially because the norscan thing to be seen as the most
vocally loyal imperials they will very loudly proclaim that they will be the most loyal
imperials and they will be the most loyal imperials and they will be the most loyal imperials
the most vocally loyal uh imperials uh they will very loudly proclaim how much they love ulric and
they generally do like this isn't entirely just for show but they do know that the the cards are
kind of against them in the field of public opinion so they they go out of the way to
be seen as loyal and also i imagine get help when when an army arrives every wind yeah
yeah literally guys kissing kissing asses being like oh my god you guys look so great by the way
massive army in my backyard i don't know if you were in like in the neighborhood you know
bring over cookies you defend my province kind of trade deal uh i did have a question um
um yes okay sorry no go ahead um i don't know if it was gonna come up in a bit but it was
i had a question about the capital of nordland is that sulzern i forgot the name of it though
sulzern because i imagine that's not quite i imagine the amount of times that nordland
four guys have been raided it's probably not that big or like it's i nordland must not be as
populous as i uh i will we will get to it um and then the last one was um the the bit called the
wasteland no idea why it's called uh it's called the wasteland which uh we will again uh we'll get
to it um awesome awesome that that'll be a little bit later more for some marienberg stuff but yes
it is a we will we will cover it briefly i was married i forgot yeah sorry i always thought it
was the nord nordland province well extra bit but the elector of nordland is also technically
like the prince of marienberg sometimes which can make relations a little bit awkward uh but
that's don't worry too much about it not only so much comes of it ignore me um in the military
nordland there's a bit of a mixed reputation uh perhaps because a little bit of that norscan
influence they're sometimes real eager to to charge the enemy front line uh there was one
battle where the pikemen from nordland just got so anxious to fight they just charged in leaving
themselves totally isolated and the enemy and the army's flank completely exposed so
they're often treated they're like a they're treated like a hound out of leash almost where
it's like you gotta you gotta keep a close eye on them because otherwise they're going to just
run off just apropos of nothing the flip side of that though is that there at least you know
there's no worries about nordlanders running away from a fight because if they do break and run
it's at least going to be towards the enemy not away from it uh as for the economy you know
there's a lot of fur trade uh you know they've also got a bit of a quite forested province uh
a lot of uh there's also a bit of a timber industry but unlike minland they're not quite
as good at getting rid of the beastmen so unless they're accompanied by like a whole
regiment of troops the the the woodsmen don't like to go into the forest which has actually
led to a bit a bit of a downturn economically speaking but hell you brought up salzenmund
it's uh kind of as the time gone on it's been a little bit of a hotbed for trade actually
because you know anyone going north from marienberg or from kieslev they gotta go out through
erengrad they uh they usually stop by in salzenmund for a bit of a either arrest or just to sell their
wares there so it's certainly not like rivaling marienberg but it's actually doing okay for itself
it's uh reasonably populated not nothing like altdorfer minnenheim because again there are a
whole lot of raiders but it is uh it is a it is a fairly well-off city in the province just just for
a reference and so that's between it's a stop-off point between the ports of the northern uh kieslev
right so that's the that's the um but basically basically eastern europe on steroids kingdom
which is above the empire and then they have to travel across the sea of claws if i remember
currently and then it's a nice light sob stuff off between those two okay um so it's not totally
it's like it actually has a purpose if you know i mean yeah no it's like it's it's uh it's a pretty
decently like decently well-off enough city i would say like more than anything after everything i
read about it it's more of just like it's a bit of a slump uh especially you know again there are
norse skins but it is in the grand scheme of things not a complete backwater mud pit we're
not at sterling yet it's not just like a a succulent chinese meal for the norse
by this by this point after 2500 years of imperial history they are if nothing else
accepting of the fact that boy howdy there sure is a whole lot of raids uh so they're used to it
uh we did it very quickly we did have two more donations one by um organoth oh yeah organeth
sorry uh for two boxes are you gonna do a video on archaeon i mean absolutely probably yes
if we have our own dedicated full because that's a long um story but we'd happily do that uh
uh donkeyman us say appreciate your brother uh for five bucks he says how i made a multi-headed rat
rat king if anyone remember that was on the previous um thing we've discussed actually
we'd love to see uh discord is actually coming very soon guys so we'll be even sharing some
pictures of all the things we're working on so how can you read the message below donkeyman us's uh
donation uh by nordan bakers says bless you may your teats bear much fruit in cream jesus
ah that's disgusting um funny fellas about to say like yeah i'm i'm just cringed but he has a way
funny appreciate you guys so much uh so i continue on color we're gonna up the pace a little bit uh
uh nordland is we were again you did mention the wood elves there's two reasons all of nordland
doesn't quite belong to nordland the mundane one is that apparently nordland just has
like documents giving them claims to half of the northern empire no one really listens to them on
this uh but they do technically i guess have those claims uh aside from ignoring that uh there's also
laura lauren forest which is a bit of an enclave of the wood elves that live there but that's not
as horrible as it could be because these wood elves actually are they're actually reasonably
polite all things considered uh if you trespass in the forest they will still kill you but they will
they will at least you know kindly ask you to leave first before they just fill you with arrows
as opposed to athel lauren where they will just kill you on sight uh they'll even uh send delegates
to middenheim to help settle disputes with nordland because they they really just they really just want
to live in peace they actually just want to be left alone in the forest not like athel lauren
or every now and then they just show up and murder you uh and uh that was actually part of the reason
they had to be conquered into the empire because early on in the empire's history everyone was too
scared of the magical forest to intervene uh and yeah overall nordland not the most bustling
provinces definitely can be dangerous but if you want some uh if you want to go on a high sea
adventure in the empire that's really the only place if you want the uh if you really want to
kill norsekins it's a great place to live and if you don't mind the danger and just want to spend
your time you know telling stories and drinking at the bar the worst place is to live uh going to
what i was saying nice nice people people gotta make a living no matter where it is in the
mission it's not as bad as 40k you know the empire no there's there's very few places in the empire
as bad as 40k yeah uh going to the right of uh nordland east i guess ostland uh eastland again
not very creative uh it's it's like nordland but worse uh at least in terms of threat level
because it directly borders the sea of claws and keesleaf so it has the you know the more
standard viking raids to deal with and then whenever the ever chosen has done ransacking
keesleaf ostland is right in the path uh they're going through so it's uh it's very dangerous uh it
is in fact one of the most sparsely inhabited and poorest provinces in the entire empire
not helping this is covering the whole thing almost is the forest of shadows uh the drakwald
sucks because it's 90 beastman the forest of shadow sucks because beastmen are the least
problematic thing in it there's a lot of not terribly well developed but it's got like the
blanket statement of really scary eldritch forest stuff going on in it uh lumber you know lumberjacks
will go in cut down a tree and then they turn around and the path they walked in on no longer
exists uh you tend to not come out alive if you go too deep into that forest is that do you reckon
a consequence of all the previous like chaos incursion oh and in part it is absolutely like
there are spots that are very corrupted by chaos there but it's also in part just just like that
it just sucks uh it's a bit of a double whammy uh very briefly with their economy it's hunting
foresting and farming none of which is profitable uh it's not very successful and none of it is safe
even the farming it is not a pleasant pace to be and wow carl friends just hit bellacor with the
goddamn haymaker with the galar as on stream and then a deadlock caught him midair holy shit
pardon me i that that took me for a loop he's absolutely still there to chat uh yes sir
everything's everything's said about the uh you know you can say about nordland though or
austin pardon me it's got a little bit more of the vibe of like the guard right where you know
it's grim it's dark but it's like it's very defiant they know they're in a very dangerous
province and they uh they'll do their best to hold the line for the empire i did think i heard a small
part of law about this in which is often used as like a penal place slash if someone is like
obviously like the politics of the empire is quite intricate and there's obviously a lot of games
going on and i think if people want to be you know say say you wish your opponent to be punished
there might be giving them the might be given an assignment in this uh region i think i've heard
it can be sometimes yeah uh that's especially so close to keeslev means you're close to chaos
mostly bitley cold as well yeah yeah uh although that being said they do have pretty close ties to
ties to keeslev uh arguably closer than the rest of the empire and in turn keeslev considers austin
one of the few provinces of the empire that isn't just all weakling baby southerners
there's a lot of tall and raya worship because it's so forested and dangerous forest
ulrich of course too as with all northern provinces and it's they do their best to at least if nothing
else make uh make chaos pay whenever it comes on down through and they do a decent enough job at it
just through population other reasons they're not they don't hold the line very long but they they
definitely uh they make uh they make chaos pay whenever it comes knocking they are of course still
uh you know that's um so like i said the empire has jokes and you know stereotypes about the
rest of the empire uh the jokes about austlanders is that they're all inbred
and uh unfortunately a lot of towns in austin do in fact
consist of one really large extended family so there is perhaps a little bit more than just
jokes to this uh to this joke sweet home austin just watch the empire just be destroyed on live tv
that was tough yeah that was that was real unfortunate to see remember the fallen in spite
of being like really just not a great place to be it is a proud province they're they're decent and
honest folk they respect their families which again yeah there's there's a little bit it some uh
some habsburg stuff going on there well it's your cousin's your wife you gotta respect her
but you know they're aside from that they are decent enough folk who do their part defend the
empire and there's worse place there's worse provinces not many but a couple uh going back
west a bit now uh hawklund almost smack dab in the middle of the empire uh as a running theme you'll
notice it's also like 90 forest there's a whole lot of imperial provinces like that
hawklund is kind of all over the place like every like it'll have x thing going for it
and then y thing completely contrasts that for example pretty low population but it is
both pretty well traveled being in the middle of the empire a lot of trade routes go through it
and fairly secure in spite of the beastmen they're not as much of a problem as they are in other
provinces the river talabek runs right through it providing trading and fishing but even with
that it's not terribly wealthy and anything beyond the basics usually have to be imported it can feed
itself but you know if you want the luxury venison steak or whatever yeah they're gonna
hunt it yourself or import it it is the smallest province i believe it is yeah
uh it's military you know relatedly not very large uh not suited for open combat
but in its element of like forested you know hidden run battles it's arguably the best in the empire
uh it has the hawklund long rifle which is an actual rifle like rifling in the barrel
but it has no industry because again it's all forest so there's not a lot of those long rifles
which is a shame because if the empire could make a couple thousand more of those it could
probably go crusade into norska shout to andretton on he's in the chat i love i love nordland i love
i love nordland i love nordland i know i love nordland you're a good man you didn't say sterling
so i don't need to mail you at the kaczynski special uh if you go back in 20 minutes brother
we just talked about nordland for a good walk so enjoy uh the uh you know for all that a couple of
what i've just mentioned is kind of downsides it's a it's a pleasant of province to live like i said
it's very well traveled since it's right in the middle of the empire so you know it has to be
safe enough uh to be well traveled so again not the worst place and uh just a very um small just
want to ask a very small quick question about um you mentioned they have the hawklund rifles like
it's basically in the total warhammer that's their regiment of renown right uh no it's actually just
a unit now uh they introduced it with the later dlcs is there any special units just from the
game i know like they have for the previous two we talked about which is like obviously
nordland and um i do not remember hawklunds i think fun it might be a war wagon of all things
damn of all the things um but the the stereotype about hawklunders is
they're just nice like that's it uh like if if you're feeling like rude it's like they're nice
because they're naive rather than actually polite or loyal but i mean if that's like the cutting
you know the cutthroat stereotype about your province it says pretty good things about the
people there i'd like to imagine you know damn we got lenny from of mice and men like in the hawklund
oh god huge we have adrenaline in the chat again talking about nordland uh it's got a
it's actually got a it's got a small magic school it's got a lot of different faiths present to the
point that i don't really honestly even want to say one of them is more dominant it's a bit of a
melding pot and in some ways it's kind of almost like a more rustic reichland like all things
considered it's fairly secure trade does at least go through it you know like it's the uh the capital
uh her gig you know little magic school kind of like rustic reichland uh not the most bustling
not quite as trendy but it's a decent place to live there's not too much to say about it
so i'll just end by telling you the full name of the hawklund long rifle
it was made by a man named leon todmeister and the full name of this gun is uh
leon todmeister's fantabulously far-reaching harcobus of unforeseeable and unperceived bereavement
bereavement so uh you know i think 40k's got to step up the names of some of the inventions if
that's the if that's the competition come on give me something goofy like that you tell me arken land
no i wrote in the video on my channel this script is all coming from arken you know what they
should have called the land speeder they should have called it arken land's wonder amazing flying
box of rapid destruction domination give me something funny like that come on do they have
um is it where's the brass keep i know that's like that's like in the more north than like the middle
mountains uh hergig or not uh hawklund also borders those is it in the hawklund uh it is
technically a part of hawklund's or is it so that's why i think it's like a proper mountainous one
that one like probably one of the most looks it looks to be one of the more safer regions within
the empire because the beastmen we know aren't quite enough they have like mountain goats they
don't have mountain beastmen i don't think so it i think it is technically part of hawklund it's not
terribly used it's like on the map it's technically part of hawklund but no one goes there
but yeah it's uh it is there uh and for the next province austermark uh another province with austin
the name unlike austin though it is not imperial guard hold the line no matter what and it's just
kind of a pathetic miserable place to live uh we'll go through the we'll go through the good
things first we'll go through the first good things first i will start by being polite
uh it's uh considered in some ways like a mini empire like i think the official name is like
the league of austermark or something like that uh and it's you know it's fairly somewhat
self-sufficient kind of you know it's got close ties amongst itself that's good
the land is incredibly fertile and has access to plenty of resources because it also borders
the world's edge mountains that's good and uh it breeds some of the finest horses in the entire
empire so when the uh you know the reichsgard the various knightly orders need to need to get some
new horses an austermark horse is a is a great place to start they're probably like the finest
horses you can get short of going to like ulthuan where you have magical elf horses
go fuck yourself brittonian horses
now the negatives it is a very mismanaged province uh the government not terribly comfortable
province uh the government not terribly competent which is a small issue but it starts compounding
with the the second and really the biggest issue which is that uh it gets the honor of fighting
pretty much every threat in the warhammer world that isn't the dark elves uh the forests have
beastmen because of course they have beastmen it also borders kislev so chaos usually comes on down
there too uh unlike austin though uh it varies between being friends with kislev and kislev
trying to raid it themselves so sometimes the marauders from the north are vikings sometimes
they're eastern europeans uh bordering the world's edge mountains means plenty of orcs and goblins
come on through which at one point included grimgoar ironhide if he's paying a visit to your home
you should really move i would advise moving don't open the door he can't hurt you if you
don't open the door oh he's not the door is a suggestion to him uh we're not done yet
because to the south we hit sylvania so vampire zombie land is right there uh usually it's not
the main focus of like you know the vampire council when they're going off but you still
border sylvania you still have hordes of zombies sometimes moving up uh we're not done yet because
really the east is the only safe direction because then you hit the rest of the empire
the ground is also terribly unsafe because the skaven are there because there's warpstone
why is there warpstone because the sky isn't safe either because a comet crashed into the old
capital of mordheim obliterated it and put a whole bunch of warpstone there so the skaven loved
to show up other people love to show up to try and get it it's socks and austermark also there's the
griffin woods which is you know in the lore it's more just you know generic evil magical forest
in total warhammer draika lives there who is the insane forest spirit who helped sabotage the wood
elves at every step in the end times so uh this place is awful uh mordheim uh was just a hot spot
for like i said it was the center of the game mordheim eventually magnus the pious uh blessed
be the only magnus who knows how to do things in warhammer uh he burned it down because it was just
that much of a shithole but it's such a shithole mordheim that timey wimey shenanigans happened
and it had to get burned down a second time by gotchigan felix because of course it was them they
kind of show up everywhere uh bellacor was also trapped in it for a bit if you needed more reasons
to not want to move to austermark he said crying well is is the um in the southern regions there's
also the marshes i'm yeah that's where uh it's close to those are technically in sylvania but
they're close enough to austermark yeah the marshes of hellfen where there's a funny funny enough out
of all places to get this lore it's a throwaway line in vermintide where every couple of years
vampires will go to hellfen and try and like make an army for themselves to the point that they
stop numbering the the amount of battles that have taken place in hellfen because they're
worried it just encourages the vampires to try again austermark sucks you're trying to get that
69 that 69 army going yeah what okay uh the the stereo between them they must be like what number
army is this guy he's obviously that guy's 68 and that guy's like i have to do the next one i have
to be so someone has to commit to that bit yeah um uh the the joke about austermarkers is that
you should never ask them how their day is going because the most depressive tirade you could ever
possibly get in response awaits you do not ask them how their week was don't ask how things are
going you're gonna walk away from that conversation sad and kruber from um vermintide he got sent there
didn't he to that province i believe he did and i think that's where his old regiment uh is he was
leading he was the sergeant of got wiped out by necromancers this place sucks don't go to austermark
he was in there as like a like a punishment for something and then and then he found a group of
people he's like oh these guys they're not too bad these labs immediately vaporized they pushed him
aside and and now he has a drinking problem despite that it's still not the worst province
we'll get to that uh but first i want to go somewhere less shit uh to labaclans
they love tall it's named after the nature god tall they've got the river talabek that runs
through it they like tall uh it is surely enough again another nature preserve province but pretty
decent all things considered uh it's one of the largest center right yeah this is the big old one
that just stretches across the entire middle of the empire uh the river stir is also there
so it's got a good stuff from that uh heavily forested like i said so naturally the main jobs
you know hunting and foresting but it's one of the most heavily militarized provinces in the empire
as well uh partial just you know it's safe enough that it can afford the time and money to build an
army it's uh you know tall is uh he's got a every now and then there's a bit of a warrior streak
with him so there's that it's uh and of course you know because it's so big they've got a whole lot of
trade routes and roads and just land to patrol so it's uh joining the army is a very common thing
there uh merchants also because the two rivers going through it are pretty big trading rivers
in the empire so they uh it's a it's a pretty well-off province with the forest itself it is
so safe that one of the most common threats are human bandits which if a random schmuck
has like the safety to walk into a forest and become a bandit you're you're in a pretty good
province you know he doesn't get mauled by beastmen immediately that's that's pretty good going
um there are practical folk over there in talabac land um one of the stereotypes about them is that
they're stupid and they don't wear clothing they just wear leaves uh and they're like really
argumentative but you know obviously they resent that a bit and when the empire is feeling kind
they're just like you know honest hard-working rustic folk they just uh eschew creature comforts
they take what they need and that's really all they go for so it's a it's a decent enough place
uh children will usually be taught by their families like hunting and survival lessons
because it's so forested and even without beastmen you know it's still a forest
sure you know kazrek one eye isn't going to rampage around but they're still bears
so good to know good to know your way around the forest if you need to know it
in spite of being so militarized they're not uh they're not glory hounds they believe you know
glories for the army and for the unit as a whole not you so if nothing else they're humble
nice uh they're they're they're decent folk uh and their city uh the capital talabheim is built in
the impact crater of a comet or a meteor uh one or the other uh it's time very it wasn't i think
thank god it was another warp as well no that you would have been the end that would have been
horrible no this this was just like standard big rock uh which not very good but it's not very
deep but the impact pushed up like massive mountainous walls around the whole things
there's only one way in and out so despite the fact not a single like almost no defensive
structures in the city were made by the empire itself aside from minnenheim it's the single most
well defensible location in the empire because you got to climb up an artificial like mountain
semi-artificial rock and then you have to climb up a mountain and then you have to climb up a
artificial to get into it and the other option is one single gateway that has a thousand cannons
pointed at it at any given moment the chokiest of holes basically yeah and again you know
there's not a lot of things that can fly in warhammer and out of the things that can fly most of
them are kind of like you know animals like fell bats or vargais and stuff so if you try and fly
over you're probably just going to get shot so yeah place to be uh it did kind of cause the war
of three emperors a little bit uh the age of three emperors which was a civil war that was basically
a thousand years long uh when the elector countess of uh talabac land claimed she was robbed of the
vote to become the empress and to be fair she absolutely was uh and when the midden minnenlander
said hey you should do something about that we don't want the cult of sigmar to have their
candidate in she invaded stirland uh won the bid for emperor uh and then the cult of sigmar
gave three reasons as to why you're not allowed to become empress
one uh one was admittedly an unspoken reason that being we are not giving up our power grab that
easily so get bent uh two was that this one's a little bit less honest they were just like well
yeah we cheated but you lost the vote anyway so sucks to suck go back home and then the third reason
they just pointed at her and went woman which interestingly enough that defense was not brought
up when she became the elector countess that defense was not brought up again but again
the cult of sigmar was not going to let this power grab go to waste so they were they were
reaching for all measures as to not let this lady be in charge uh so she declared herself empress
and semi succeeded like they basically just did not recognize the other emperor and then a couple
hundred years later midland got in on the fun and succeeded too uh and declared they were the true
emperors so a shame about that because aside from that telebic land's a pretty decent place to live
uh there's only a couple more major you know remaining provinces to go uh next is avar land
uh it's a decent place to live uh actually not very forested like there's not much in the way of
forest so one of the only places in the warhammer world you can reasonably confidently say no
beastman uh probably the only place in the empire at that too
uh it's uh it's not quite you know the uh you know the rivers run through it it's not quite as fertile
as austermark it makes up for this by not being austermark in every other way so that's something
so that's something uh it floods pretty oftenly kind of like the nile and uh but the avar landers
are real chill people they're just like well you know we live in a real nice land that's just the
price we pay uh one of the biggest things it has going for it is cattle ranching of all things
the closer you get to null and weasel land you get you know more classical nobility of the
uh ranching my own cattle is for the paws to do not to me uh but you get to the center and it's
actually a competition of like uh i ranch my own goddamn cattle you schmuck i'm a real noble
uh also there's two important things this leads into one is that you can technically have a
completely lore accurate army of cowboys you know in warhammer fantasy especially because again like
they have flintlock pistols they're not you know it's not the six shooter although actually the
dwarves do have revolvers so you know what you can just straight up have an army of cowboys in
warhammer fantasy if you want and two is that the joke about avar landers is that they fuck cows
all right all right uh which you know i think that's why i like fantasy more than 40k that's
the quality world building that i'm here for uh politically avril is kind of almost like the elves
instead of either just assassinating your political rival or having a nice honest
inner province civil war when it's time to see who's the new elector count there's some really
intricate and dense political maneuvering that no one looking outside in can understand what the
hell is going on uh and not helping this is that avar landers tend to change who they're backing
at the drop of a hat and uh in fact to the to that matter that's one of the negative reputations
avar landers have is that they're just changed their minds at the most random of whims uh but
you know offsetting that is that they're they're an honest and some of the cheeriest folk in the
empire uh they speak their mind they're happy to have a good time uh i'm fairly sure they love
nordland because nordlanders love telling stories avar landers love hearing stories
uh they uh they have good pretty good relations with the dwarfs too because avar landers have a
similar sense of humor to the dwarfs uh you know very boisterous and uh to the point as it were
um oh and uh the specific note was also made uh mentioned that avar landers are very generous
with uh tourists and stuff and they will happily buy you around if you're new to their little town
which probably also helps the dwarfs uh like them because free beer on the downside avar landers
are largely considered uh if we're being polite eccentric if we're not being polite bat shit insane
uh which they resent that sentiment but they put marius leitdorf in charge of the province
who would wage war on unicorns and imaginary enemies so do what you will uh with that insanity
accusation uh they're also just kind of generally superstitious but this is more of like you know
discord e-girl superstition where you uh you have to talk about the rock collection for three hours
it's not like you know properly like you know a stranger comes to town it's like oh it's a bad
omen they're just like no they're gonna lecture you about astrology which even then astrology
it's a fantasy setting that is a valid school of subject not the way they do it they they go oh
there's a cloud in front of that star today that's a sign of it's gonna rain in three years and
i don't know drown my dog it's like what what is bro yapping about
i just noticed your mouse on the top right of the screen call oh shit pardon me let me get that out
people come with the quality of our entire time miller uh we have a donation by um uh marty as
yes seven you give us ten bucks thank you brother it says love love all you do because if you find
peeps got my first set to build and paint repping your sigma keep being great and that sweet deep
juicy lore thank you man and uh we will continue doing just that we will talk about geography
yes waver the seed indeed um but uh aside from aside from this uh militarily everland is uh
they're kind of the imperial fists of the empire they are the defensive experts uh they also despise
orcs which kind of again relates to the imperial fists uh that whole war the beast thing um this is
more terrain reasons isn't it this is more terrain reasons because uh bordering the mountains and
more importantly black fire pass which is uh if you know your history of warhammer sigmar is a
fought there against them orcs and uh a whole lot of other armies have fought against orcs there
so it's a massive death valley essentially like if you wanted to go down to the um the border prince
region so basically spain in ojama fancy there's only really one way which is you go around you
know messed up france bretonia by sea or you have to basically go through mountain passes which is
near um reichland or you have to do black fire which is right the south yeah that's also how
they trade with the dwarfs largely at least the ones that aren't just like bordering the empire
in the mountains so very dangerous but they do work with the dwarfs and they set up just extensive
fortifications and more to hold out any greenskins that like to come on in because that happens quite
frequently uh they do not like works it's a greenskin channel essentially yeah it is a river of orcs
at any like on average um but you know this has like i said given them that if you want to
if you're an imperial and you want to hire like a certain province to defend like your little keep
can't do better than an everlander uh since uh i kind of touched it you know they like the finer
things in life they like to have a good time their uniforms are noted as being particularly gaudy
whether or not they're more effective than in other empire provinces is up for debate
but they sure are more expensive even down to like the average state troop
they are also like a little bit superstitious you know in the military as well but again it's not
like actually turning and routing because there was a scary rock over there and that's a bad sign
and they actually they will they will get mad at you and like deck you in the face if you imply
that they're any less brave than another imperial state because of that they uh they do not like
that implication uh and overall honestly if you couldn't live in reichland you'd probably want
to live in avorland it's a it's a nice sunny place uh again no forest no beastman really nice
pretty nice place to be they do you know there is a decent amount of orcs and in fact at one point a
uh war boss named gorbed ironclaw kind of ransacked the province a bit but for the most part not a bad
place to be uh also if you want to hunt halflings for sport you go to avorland because it was only
a century prior to the rule of carl franz that that was finally outlawed and marius
leitdorf nearly brought it back bruh so if you if you if you want to run down a halfling on a horse
you can do no better me me on my bachelor weekend the uh the second to last province is weason land
or viesen land i don't know man uh it's equal parts bustling place of industry and trade and
kind of a backwater uh depending on if you're a gnome or not but hell you did mention it a bit
earlier uh sulland talk a little bit about that first uh that oh really not much to talk about it
that gorbed ironclaw fella you know avorland got hit hard sullen got wiped off the map and uh the
province or what was left of it was just quietly subsumed into most weason land and avorland
uh this is a good this is a good time i really want because i'm desperate to bring this up which
is um i don't know if you're going to talk about it which is um each of the provinces has a runefang
oh just i'll just a is only a brief uh thing to add which is essentially
each of the main like capitals or regions or was i think back when um the original tribes under
sigmar were unified they were each gifted with a dwarven ford sword which was called a runefang
i mean i mean you can just probably describe them better than i can they kind of just like
insanely deadly like magical swords they're they're just incredibly busted magical swords
that if you get caught by one even if you don't die that wound is never healing
so actually it's like imagine lord of the rings but it's like first age elves like weaponry like
that level of like it won't rust it won't become any less definitely they don't pretty good they
don't tarnish they don't lose their sharpness they they're proper deadly weapons and uh
solons may or may not be in the hand of guilt who likes to steal random artifacts
because he is a it's one of the few ones in which the runefang the runefangs are usually
as a badge of office for the elect accounts of each region so even the poorest regions still have a
runefang but um the weird one is like sullend obviously there's an extra runefang lying around
although i do believe carl franz's one is wielded by his champion possibly
yeah i think yeah so it can be lent out but um the runefang is essentially a badge office and sullend
and sullend the only thing left of it really was essentially a runefang
yeah weasel and as a whole is a kind of similar to uh reichland in terms of like what it has
because it's got it also borders the gray mountains so it's got a lot of you know iron
and silver and stuff and all that you know the stuff you find in the mines uh in the south from
what was sullend uh it has uh what do you call like sullend was a very fertile province so it's
got you know good crops vineyards cattle all that nice stuff uh the land in the west is garbage but
again mountains that's not what it's there for uh it also inherited from sullend survivors guilt for
some strange reason because i couldn't act like over the fact that sullend was obliterated and
it wasn't and from what i can find it's not actually like survivors guilt like oh they
secretly caused it it's just like catholic guilt where you just feel bad why do i even exist yeah
which you know i get it oh and uh there's also an uh underground canal that connects to tilea
oh that's just goes through the mountains uh that'll be just a reference people that's incredibly
long then just in terms of yeah it's how to travel hundreds of miles but something you've got to keep
the trade routes flowing you know but there are like imagine even then there are still
loads of the old dwarven um underpass roads that but we're just describing it for the audio
listeners where we are currently uh we're literally at the very most like southern tip of the um of
the empire of man and essentially is the whole southern region is oh the southern parts of the
empire is essentially is just bordered by mountains mostly pretty much all inhabited by
dwarven lands and if you know anything about dwarven lands they like their tunnels or slash
underpass which are massively carved out regions and um like you know literally you think that for
how short dwarves are you could fit like 10 giant stacked upon tackles on screen tackles on screen
big big malachite soon oh big big my husband my husband uh moving on anyway uh although yeah uh
the fun fact about the canal i don't believe it was built by dwarves it's a largely natural uh
like underground river that they smoothed out and uh used for trade uh very neat uh we'll talk mostly
about wiesenland because it's not terribly developed outside of known known is really the only
important thing in it uh they're uh they're very they're kind of like austere markers at least in
like how they act like they're very dour short to the point conversations which they uh might have
actually got inherited from the dwarfs as a joke in the empire uh short joke do what you will sigma
worship is dominant but you know there's tall and raya there too uh because they're such a religious
folk they were actually kind enough to give all the dwarfs that live there that they built them
their own two temples for their own gods which is you know just just kind of a nice thing uh by
contrast if you live in known it's a far more cosmopolitan city it was at one point the capital
of the empire and then the ruling emperor moved it to altdorf when grom the paunch was rampaging
through it so he just kind of ran away and changed capitals uh it's an economic powerhouse uh if there
is a new invention of war coming out in the empire it's probably coming from known there's
dwarf engineers everywhere the best way to know if someone does not live in known is if they duck
and cover when a cannon shot goes off because that's just kind of a regular thing there
because of the engineering colleges uh it's uh very contrasting between inside known and outside
of it known is actually technically just an independent city state uh weason land
the capital is weessenberg but no one gives a shit uh if i'm to be frank with you
yeah so it's kind of like canada having ottawa as the capital and yet no one wants to go there
yeah basically it's yeah it's uh if you're reading about anything important in weason land it's in
known including once again gotrick and felix is a huge city though isn't it i don't think it's
rival it's colossal it kind of does in some ways like it was the old capital of the empire and it's
still in the southern portions like the economic powerhouse it's it's still like a vastly important
city um it's uh although ironically the army of weason land fights similar to hawklund which is
all hit and run tactics with a little bit of pikemen thrown in because they're kind of close to
brittania so you gotta kill the horses with the big stick uh i'm assuming weason land has such a
kind of a bad army because no one is just hoovering up every single bit of funding that could otherwise
be allocated the president elector countess of no one like despises the rest of weason land
she does not like the province she only likes no she is an asshole i mean you can't blame her though
i mean if i lived in weason land i probably would but i suppose it's not my problem in fact you know
what let me describe weason land for you it's illinois because 90 of the place is nothing and
corn and then you hit chicago that's it again it's not even the capital but no one gives a shit about
springfield there's 50 of those in america no one cares uh yeah welcome to weason land although
again i'm probably more likely to get mugged in chicago than nuln so you know there is that
yeah depends if it was by a human or a scaven yeah and for one final province the worst the last god
this place sucks mirathy's hands mirathy excuse me pardon me she's on screen right now uh feet
i see dirty all right i'm gonna stop all right all right i'm locked in and in the worst way possible
uh stirland awful uh the stolen hate is funny i'll be honest they deserve it let's just start off with
the land itself it's shit there's marshes there's like winding rivers that are not very profitable
aside from the river stir and it's really just kind of the endpoint of the stir like they're
stirred throughout the rest of the empires what matters uh the land isn't great for crops either
it's just a misery just miserable uh the sometimes it's just like there's some decently prosperous
cities that trade with you know the dwarfs and zoof bar uh those dwarfs for those of you who've
played total war are right below uh sylvania and tend to be incredibly annoying throughout most of
your campaign because the vampires early on cannot deal with dwarf infantry uh but uh
stirland you the moment you leave that city backwater mud pit just horrid place to be it's awful
uh speaking of sylvania it's right next to the border uh unlike ostermark though sylvania is
smack dab in the uh pretty much every military campaign that is being done uh you want to get
to the you know reichland and altdorf you march right through stirland uh however unlike the
provinces like nordland or midland who are prepared for these threats uh averland's military
response no no uh pardon me stirland's military response is to hope that averland's army is ready
to go because otherwise it's just getting ransacked uh relatedly half the province is
corrupted by dark magic uh so you know good for them uh another reason the land sucks not even
you know it's not even chaos dark magic it's vampire dark magic which means sometimes you
bury your grandpa and then he gets back up the next day huge they're also incredibly superstitious
but unlike averland this is the bad kind of superstition where they see a cloud that looks
vaguely almost like a skull if you squint really hard and pretend and they go no we can't fight
today we gotta go home the uh the omens are bad my 15 good luck charms are uh they're all burnt out
they're out of juice i gotta leave uh which is not a joke because uh there was a stirland around a
ship who had 16 good luck charms on him at any given moment presumably had more why was he on
a ship if he's in the middle of the empire he was he somehow ended up in like a marienberg trading
vessel i don't know how he got there he just did presumably he wanted to not be in stirland
anymore which is a very admirable quality to have i just you make it sound like all stirlanders
baseline are just arseholes oh i'm not done yet because you know what i'll try and give them
right the smallest amount of credit if i live next to sylvania i'd probably be a bit superstitious too
right but they're superstitious of you know dark magic admirable thing and then there's superstition
of uh that guy who walked into town he smells too clean i don't like it he's up to something
we should burn him if you think i'm kidding there's a town in stirland where if a traveler comes
through the local tradition is to have the children throw shit on them because they believe the stench
drives off evil spirits they genuinely believe what they're doing is helping protect the traveler
coming through their town this place sucks this place isn't it is backwater everyone there is
stupid and dumb and ignorant it sucks stirlent sucks uh also they still also just do not like
strangers because oh you're new you're different what kind of dark magic are you bringing in
oh it's the sun started going down bolt the door scary things are going to happen
it it's it's just it's pathetic you look at this and go damn i feel sad for you unless you were
you know one of those guys who just had shit thrown on them then you're probably fresh out of pity
only because they are literally surrounded by entirely better provinces in every respect like
they don't specialize in one thing better than any of the provinces next the closest thing they
have to that is they help to like they their military patrols the river stir which you know
important enough job it would sure be pretty cool if uh you stop throwing feces at people
i mean that's just that's a that's a sterland handshake
like at best the other empire like other imperials view them as like you're quaint
you're a quaint province at worst just take the rant i've just gone on and that's how they look
at stirlanders uh technically sylvania is part of stirland functionally that doesn't matter
no one they do not rule sylvania then they have there's there's something redeeming about i mean
isn't technically another region part of stirland that's like somewhat redeeming the moot is not a
redeeming province oh come on i'll briefly talk about it uh for people who don't know this they're
gonna love this part because it's my favorite thing to immediately destroy on any vampire
in fact coming up on the end uh there's a couple of things to touch on is uh the last thing for
sterland is that they also hate halflings like averland but in averland it's like i find it kind
of funny uh because like you ever see that like that simpsons episode where mr burns is uh
hunting everyone like the greatest game
uh well i don't know it's he's he's it's like a tree house of horror episode i think he's hunting
all the he's like hunting the cast it's like it's kind of darkly funny like that like you know some
averlander and you know he's going halfling hunting it's like it's it's darkly funny in
sterland uh they have a tradition where the children will make a halfling piñata pretend
that all the treats inside were stolen by the halfling and uh then they beat it which they call
uh making the halfling give it back which is really messed up and to make it worse
uh sterlanders will deny that they get drunk and do that with actual halflings which for those of
you not familiar that is just a lynching perhaps which is crazy because the the land in which is
essentially called the moot is part of sterland which is like the the the region in which all
halflings like you know hey here's a haven for you here's his hobbiton if you want it by the way let's
give it to the anti the anti-hobbit alliance over there god it's like giving the hobbiton to the
witch king honestly yeah um halflings are probably halflings are not quite as nice as hobbits you
know what speaking of let's talk about the moot let's talk about the moot uh all right sterland
hates it because they like it was part of sterland and a little bit of averland and then the halfling
chief baked the ruling emperor such a good meal that he not only made it semi-autonomous
but gave them a vote in deciding who becomes the emperor because the feast was just that good
uh i'd be tilted too yeah uh as for the halflings themselves because really the moot starts and ends
with it's very fertile the halflings live there halflings and warhammer you know older gw would
sometimes just quietly slide in something incredibly racist into their lore
if you know about the pygmy models you need me say no more
not great not great
the halflings are written as if someone was unbelievably racist but towards halflings
towards halflings like like someone read lord of the rings and just wanted to beat frodo into a
pulp speaking of that um there's a slightly on brand donation which is by jack n he gave us 20
bucks thank you so much for that's really generous just finished months of shame and i have no idea
how people say grey knights are better than space wolves literally the only time they were cool is
when they displayed human emotions the one thing they were trained not to do in brackets also i'm
very gay donation and the uh the the fucking signature your donations might as well every
time i see it i literally chuckle space cool space cool halflings yeah so one more one last donation
which also from jackie thank you there's um culto and culto dude for five bucks says why is chat so
well behaved today they weren't earlier trust me where's all the comments about collins miss
shaping head i demand a pancreas land that he never thinks about right well we are missing dj
beasts today but the check out pretty horrific after you send that donation so yeah yeah i think
i missed one about someone said something about collins forehead as well i missed that don't worry
there's there's one more jack n donation still talking about the monster shame stuff i think
if you want to read that oh i missed that one at the bottom yeah he just happened yeah right
you almost forgot they were also they also were fooled by an inquisitor manipulating them with
warp magic honey and his words like wtf shouldn't that shouldn't they be immune to that probably
thank you for the five dollars jack n but yes you're right uh they are actually uh somewhat
immune to chaos resistance they actually get like a pretty significant bonus to be able to
handle like warpstone in a warhammer fantasy roleplay uh for all i'm about to find other
great nights oh well i uh i'm a little confused uh anyway for all i am about to shit on the halflings
and i am about to do that uh i have a character in a roleplay campaign that is a halfling named
borbo freebo uh his i you are told to like describe like your characters build and everything in
creation and he is a meatball with a with a lazy eye but don't worry because he once stopped a
lady from summoning a demon of corn by hitting her in the head with a rock huge
because halflings actually are decent enough marksmen but for halfling slander almost all
of them are morbidly obese uh they're lazy uh and they just love stealing stuff like again
and uh i think it's the fourth edition roleplay core book uh an elvin merchant who for god only
knows what reason was in the mood says like yeah you know halflings uh they're polite enough but
every time i would put something down it would mysteriously go missing uh so yeah they're so
greedy that at one point avriland was going to like build some roads through the moot
to not only help like facilitate troop movements but also bring trade to the region both of which
will purely help the halflings because they're also all cowards to a man
and in exchange for this was all on like avriland's bill by the way and then the halfling
elder said whoa you gotta pay us a whole lot of gold and cattle for that privilege
which for some reason avriland put up with uh and then they got to a river so they started building
a bridge and then construction workers would get kidnapped and then they you know they would send
more workers they get kidnapped again they found out that it was a halfling like extended family
like slash gang doing all this and when the avriland officials were like dude please tell
them to stop stealing our workers the moot land elder said well we can't stop them we said you
could build roads we said nothing about bridges and then uh and then marius leitendorf and i quote
uh assembled the army and told it to slaughter every one of the malodorous runts
and then uh and then the halfling rebellion happened where it only ended after carl fran said hey man
please stop tearing down the mood uh but the the two noteworthy things to know were that uh
it only ended after quote leitendorf had sated his fury
and the halflings actually hired some ogres to defend them and then when the war ended
the ogres just kidnapped a bunch of the halflings and brought them back to the mountains of morn
the mountains of morn to force them to cook they literally are like just mini ogres so
welcome to the history of the moot it's greed racism and genocide this place is awful for
different reasons marius is it leitendorf lived you know died as he lived or he died in black
fire he died he lived probably did he probably had like one halfling with him just to get one
last murder in he's like glorious last stand also on his eulogy halfling bane or something
there's a there's two more brief former provinces to cover no we're not doing sylvania because this
is one we've been here a while and two that's a that's far more for a vampire episode than this
yeah it's his own thing uh the one former is the drakwald it was a province between midland and
nordland it was corrupt it was constantly beset by greenskins and beastmen and then it was just
subsumed into midland and nordland there's really not a lot need to know about it presumably anything
that applies to midland also apply did apply to that place uh and then we have westerland
which if you're being rude it's the wasteland if you're being honest it's marienberg because 99
of the wasteland uh goes as such there's a lot of swamp there's a big road big road that connects
some of the outlying hamlets and uh there's sheep herds in the south that's it as for marienberg
it was a province in the empire and then it bribed the emperor with a whole lot of money to uh be
independent the reference is the northwestern part above where the the reich river which connects
altdorf and reichland the capital it leads it the river goes past marienberg into the sea
and it sort of skirts britannia's eastern edge slash i guess yeah it borders britannia doesn't
it technically marian uh it does um and the way marienberg was able to afford buying its independence
is that it is uh it is the capital of trade in the warhammer world maybe maybe lothurn can be argued
to be better than it uh you know in alfuan the home of the high elves because they're a very
seafaring state as well uh yeah or something or maybe nagaroth oh i think that's a different kind
um but uh again you know you all know i love elves it's a very big maybe if lothurn's able
to compete with it because at one point the high elves burned down marienberg because there were
there was some stuff going on with the you know disputes and all and such and such and disrespect
no no need to get into it there's a reason that it was then immediately rebuilt and the elves
didn't just salt the land for you know daring to you know besmirch our essor pride and that's
because if you want to make any real money you go to marienberg and even they have to admit that
uh arabi alfuan empire petonia caselove dwarfs even even norscan sometimes you want to trade you go
to marienberg and uh within it you can find pretty much anything uh you can find you know mundane
trade goods you can find some illegal mundane trade goods you can find some perhaps more
sorceress some warp stony trade goods if you look hard enough you can find anything you can you can
go gamble you can go drink you can trade you can if you want to view it honestly as like warhammer
vegas there's worse ways to uh imagine it uh you know if you leave with less than three sdis you
didn't have a good trip to marienberg is it there are there parts of it which are floating was that
just i'm maybe thinking i think there are uh there are a few yeah kind of like venice
venister paul in the chat is basically begging you to talk about secessionists the empire secessionist
oh the ones that you destroy literally yeah the ones that get bulldozed in your fifth empire
playthrough that week yeah they wanted to not be in the empire and then they were reminded no you're
part of the empire asshole what else is there in depth in depth lore right there they're not even
an official thing that's just like yeah sometimes people try to get away from i mean sometimes the
empire like people will try and succeed but they usually don't there's a lot of um from what i
remember like in the gotrich and phoenix books because they go to marienberg maybe at least one
yeah that's where they uh that's where they get defeated by the only enemy to beat them which is
two schmucks with a couch well because a lot of um there's a lot of mercenaries around yeah but
yeah oh it's uh there's a lot of mercenaries and there's actually embassies from pretty much every
major non-evil faction in the game uh you know and also a lot of the minor ones uh arabi, tailea,
stallia, you know, brittonia of course, the empire, the elves, everyone's got some embassies in
marienberg uh all of them are spying on each other all of them are spying on marienberg marienberg
knows they're all spying on each other and is feeding information back and forth sometimes
legitimate sometimes not and uh they can very easily get away with this because everyone wants
marienberg for themselves but more importantly they don't want anyone else to have marienberg
so whenever someone gets a little bit too uppity and might think oh yeah i'm uh i'm coming to take
this place they will usually get dogpiled by everyone else who also has a vested interest in
taking the place uh and yeah it's uh it's actually also got a parliamentary democracy and if i remember
correctly invented the word democracy in warhammer fantasy which is kind of neat and it's only
doesn't exist it's only it's only kind of corrupt only a little bit which is pretty good
uh and uh with that lore vomit that is the empire of man uh the province one last thing though
my beloved my beloved there's no you don't need a steam tank in oh i got how did i forget would you
please continue color yes there is the marienberg land ship uh it is a big boat with wind and
it is a big boat with wheels that they wheel across the land what's the what's the door behind
it isn't it like they couldn't they couldn't afford they couldn't afford a steam tank
so they built that they couldn't like they couldn't steal one or like take get one from the
regular empire ceded from so they made their own like slash we have a steam tank at home
which i'll give it i'll give it its credit right it's a boat on the land you can't sink it
bro it's and it's stupid i mean like i love like parts of marienberg are like it's basically it's
like the best of what money can buy doesn't mean it's the best is the best of money so you get
stupid things if something has a price you can buy it in marienberg there's just some things
that don't have a price i say it just size-wise is it comparable to altdorf i guess as a merchant
thing or is it more of a it's it's up there like it's it's a very big city um i would say not quite
as big as altdorf but a lot of that is again just because it borders the sea so a lot of the people
in it like come and go because they're traders so they only need so much permanent habitation
um and a little bit of the outlying provinces remember like i said where they herd sheep
uh there is a decent enough place to be like uh live shout to my um my the marienberg steam tank
though for wrapping up i mean colin colin even giving us a a grand tour i uh the empire i don't
believe you'll visit anytime soon though because there's no need to die no i forgot one last piece
of sterling slander uh if you'll forgive me uh the dwarfs hate the province because they boil their
ale and they consider everyone in that province to be bat shit insane for it
can you really blame can you really blame them i hate sterland i hope they i i wish them a very
of the fall of reach they're they're brave fellows they are not brave fellows they are superstitious
morons well they live right by it this is like when they're sterland or death
there's like when you hear someone says like oh i prefer room temperature like beer and then you
and then you can't be friends with them ever again so shocking someone just like
it's five million warpstone rockets to sterland get rid of the province obliterated the empire
will be better off still in the tax bill collects taxes from sylvania uh what like the the five
pennies from the two living people in sylvania oh yeah what what taxes sorry i have a donation by
jack and jack end do you sound like um the guy from what we do in the shadows i just imagine he does
because he he says um what's the most grimdark uh hell's reach like fancy book to start warhammer
fancy with oh sorry i just did this and um one that a gay man might enjoy thank you for the five
and and this part is literally like lazlo in my head from one that's a gay man might enjoy
you something i uh i i off the top of my head i don't know anything specifically like uh
hell's reach but the mathias thuleman are kind of grimdark it's a it is a witch hunter with a
moral compass but he's still a witch hunter uh so he's not the stuff he's involved in is not
exactly you know the evening tea time it is a usually quite fucked up stuff so i would
recommend mathias thuleman i mean the ultimate recommendation is always will be gotrick and
felix yeah it's because you just you like you don't really get like a warhammer like as much
like you i love going to like read lots like grimdark thing because like oh you know like the
knight lord trilogy what a crazy achievement of like storytelling that is but then you just
got to hit me with that kai force kane energy you got to hit me with that gotrick and felix like
you just like you generally are excited to see the next book because you just know it will like you
entire thing and um one fancy has got a special place for that with gotrick and felix and i think
colin more than anyone else would highly recommend and we'll probably even continue with our gotrick
and if everyone hasn't watched that yet we have talked about gotrick and felix and we'll probably
do another episode of that because we are making our way slowly through the entire series uh we do
have a question of the week i do believe if anyone please tell me you wrote that down no i remember
it i really want to do this i really want to make fun of sterling more the question of the week but
i guess we can do the uh the other one today you could do you could change the sterling themed one
if you wish i do i have the do i have the approval of the council for that uh elie i suppose so all
right so the uh the question of the week is uh just just hashtag sterland and no no you know what no
no it's not it's uh it's hashtag nuke and uh maybe not maybe not that all right fine uh
hashtag sterland fine hashtag sterland how would you obliterate that backwater shithole
oh my gosh oh it goes off of youtube uh give us your sterling slander please hashtag sterling
give me sterling slander i want i want i need it i need it please we'll sleep better tonight
uh without being i am i am i am vlad strongest sterling hater
with that being said i hope you guys all enjoy this one and you'll be with us very soon hope
because having he's um having a great night from what we know last donation he says uh keaton sam
it says what are some good high elf novels tearyden teclist trilogy can't go wrong
there's a whole ominous that's just called elves i'm pretty sure there is also that i own it but i
haven't started reading it yet yeah i read like 10 pages of it when i was 14 and i haven't touched
it since but it'll come back someday it is just called elves so it's it you will not miss what it
is about keeslov mr mike magnus the red fan who was not a britton bro this guy's changing his name
like and subscribe before how it says it appreciate it uh with that being said uh thank you guys so
much all the generous donations tonight you're sending thank you very much really appreciate it
love you all and we've got some cool stuff we'll talk about this year coming and we'll see you
guys all pretty soon see you in the next one yeah farewell love you