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Welcome everyone, it's a new year, new us, just kidding, we have not changed one bit.

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2025 law crimes, unfortunately Andy is not here, he is out, rizzing, literally.

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Shout out to Andy, love you brother, hope you're having a nice time.

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Everyone, welcome, today is a, I've been dragged into the the glorious son of more

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Warhammer fantasy lore, we absolutely love it. We're talking about fantasy lore because Andy's

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not here so we can all enjoy it in secret from someone who's just only there for the white scars.

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In secret from the guy who's the channel owner. Yes, oh we want to go large screen that column

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on the background. We are, yeah, if you haven't noticed we don't have the usual setup and if

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everyone can let us know. If you want to look at the family guy, I mean that'd be perfect right.

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If anyone can let us know as well if how our audio sounds because we're not perfectly balanced but

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we'd very much appreciate just being like you know our thingy needs to be a bit louder or things a

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bit quiet. I am joined obviously by my, oh yeah that was new, I'm joined by my illustrious co-host

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I have Colin from Pancreas No Work, Eli, Deadly from the Dark Gods, it's me Hal who's the Mr

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Yellow King looking thing from the Amber King channel and we are here to discuss, well it

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wasn't really discussed it was more about unleashing Colin upon the world because Colin

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you want to say how this, we were trying to figure out what to do and I said half jokingly

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you know I can uh I've got 35 pages, pardon me, 33 pages of geography facts and uh for some

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reason they didn't do you know the normal thing which is go Colin get the hell off this podcast.

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They instead said yes this is what we're doing today so uh today you're gonna learn a whole

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lot about the empire of man but not in like you know a fun lore history way we're learning about uh

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crops. Do you want to hit us and then we can just probably, we're gonna get straight into it brothers,

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there will be a question of the week at the end as always but we very much appreciate you all

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being here hope you have a nice start. And uh before we uh to your year 2025, god this does

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break me to, again? Uh before we, oh go ahead go ahead, oh I would like two things before we start

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at uh Coffee Grounds for Snorden, thanks for the five gifted memberships, we'll probably go through

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three donos like every two or three provinces uh and then I'd also like to thank uh Battle

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Chicken 12 uh for accusing me of doing 9 11. Wow. Well early. That one guy we uh we are starting

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off the year as we mean to go on. If I say lock into your seats boys, clench those cheeks because

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we're about to pour some empire lore uh I'm gonna stop and we're just gonna hit. All right.

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I'm gonna hit play on the thing and then I'm gonna go to my notes so the empire of man it's uh you

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know the main characters of Warhammer fantasy you know less so than over in a 40k in the

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imperium but you know there's still. Did you hit play? Uh yes it's going. It's going. Oh there we go.

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It's the stream delay now please come on. Apologies. We've been doing this for like three years now

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please. Almost. That is embarrassing. That is embarrassing. I, you have to tell me. Please go ahead.

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Playlist so we're all we're all in for. Crazy. Yes. So yeah empire man you know the greatest human

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nation in the world uh you know not only so much competition uh but it still counts for something.

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Uh so yeah today we're gonna go over all the different provinces it has uh it's geography

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time people so where else to start but Reikland the heartland of the empire in a whole lot of ways

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except ironically in location because it's actually on the uh western edge uh Reikland is

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the main character province uh it has uh you know the city of Altdorf. Okay I think it might not

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just be me though I think when you tabbed over I don't think I see. Oh man I know you are so right

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about that. We are on a black screen right now. Man you are so right all right you know what it's okay I've got the notes on my phone.

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Shout out to technical difficulties already five minutes and appreciate it

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but we will be getting we were getting very shortly into the empire. It's there now.

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Yay. Yay we got it we got it. The background videos are by the way uh muted versions of

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whatever narrative stuff uh is on the total war official channel as well as all of the trailers

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if we go on that long uh so don't worry about it. Uh Reikland uh Altdorf has always existed it was

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once an elven colony that the dwarfs detected magic coming from which is already like all right

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this is probably going to be important place there's Carl Franz on screen he's there uh pardon me uh

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it's been uh always kind of a bit of a political hot spot and of course I uh you might have heard

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of this man uh born there named Sigmar a slightly important guy uh word has it he's you know he's

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the best god in uh in warhammer but that's just hearsay that's just my propaganda.

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Reikland all things considered is a pretty decent place to live it's a pretty peaceful province now

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if your only experience with it is through total war you're gonna think I'm lying to you because

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Carl Franz spends pretty much the entire game hyperventilating and running around as every

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faction in the game beelines it towards Altdorf but in the lore it's it's a pretty good province

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to live in it's it's uh it's nothing like that you know it's had its fair share of fights uh you

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know when Nagash tried to fight Sigmar and that went as well as it sounds for him the undead

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attacked the Skaven when they were doing their little great war against all of the empire also

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attacked but in the grand scheme of things it's like you know that's like two incursions all

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things considered again not bad there's not even that many beastmen there because the forests in

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this area are actually significantly thinner than most of the rest of the empire well it's

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the entire empire which good old reliable gotchigan felix uh felix even makes a comment

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about that in one episode where he's in a different different province it was like man

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I sure miss when I thought Reikland was a scary place and not the middle of whatever province

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he was in really any of the other provinces that aren't Altdorf or Reikland we have a very um

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apt donation by Cope man for two pounds he says there are no rat men in the Altdorf sewers

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is it real under all dwarf does not exist that goal was never there

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that's a story for another time though

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uh it's aside from you know somehow having plot armor as a province there's about there's

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thousands of different reasons it's incredibly important since you know Sigmar was born there

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it's the home of the cult of Sigmar the main religious chief uh you know worship of the empire

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and even beyond that just an incredibly influential place it's of course the seat where the seat of

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the emperor is uh at the moment it's the Altdorf is the capital of the empire wasn't always the

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case we'll get to a little bit of that later but as of saying modern warhammer fantasy is always

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kind of weird because it blows up uh but in modern warhammer fantasy Altdorf is in Reikland it's the

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capital of the empire so important place more you know strictly speaking in just like a purely like

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natural geographical sense it's got about every natural resource you could possibly want it has

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the gray mountains which is where it gets iron gold gems all that kind of stuff making it rich

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and making sure Reikland is a very well funded and armed and everything when war breaks out as it

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always does uh in the northeast it's the great forest this little subsection is known as the

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Reichwald forest which like i said it gives a trapping you know hunting wood cutting very

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important stuff for the empire ironically enough especially the wood cutting part because they're

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entering the industrial revolution and uh like i said not too many beastmen we're only down to like

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five beastmen per square mile which is pretty good gotcha could felix on screen my beloved

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i am going to be narrating that by the way whenever something intriguing to me pops up

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and in the middle of those two things is a thin stretch of land called the vorberg land which is

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it's relatively small but it still goes across the entire province and it's just incredibly fertile

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for farming cattle raising vineyards all of this has made altdorf probably the closest you can ever

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get to as a human nation or like just as a human in general uh having easy mode and warhammer

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because usually if yeah what's the river that runs from parsley brittonian lands brittonian lands

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and marienberg and it goes through altdorf is it the reich river that is the river right right yep

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yep which even has its own uh minor god called grandfather reich i should mention by the way

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this is uh reich spelled r-e-i-k these are these are not those kinds of germans uh interesting uh

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cowards

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it's an it's an interesting take on it i'm jacob jacob uh yeah so it's like great place to live

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especially even like even like i would say like you know our real world history like medieval times

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or you know early renaissance industrialization times not a bad place to be by warhammer standards

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especially uh usually being a human in warhammer is a miserable affair but uh in reichland it's

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not too bad i also assume it's the most populous as well in terms of the entire empire or is that

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maybe another region i would uh i believe it is if not it's easily like top three uh the only

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competitors i think there might be would be probably weason land and that is really just

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known doing the heavy lifting and uh maybe mittenland too uh because mittenland is a decent

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pardon me decently sized province although talabaclans also be it's it's up there it's

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up there it's a it's very populated altdorf especially uh as for the people in reichland

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they're very proud of uh of reichland uh they believe they live in the best province

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and this pride goes to the point that they consider the people of reichland to just simply be more

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attractive than anyone else in the empire that is not making that up they just think that reichland

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is the best easy peasy no no contest so this is like when you go to like anywhere in scandinavia

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and they're all better looking than you like it's really humbling if they won't ever been near

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scandinavians god damn yeah uh when i was reading it was actually made a point to say that

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i think like the quote is roughly many a reichland dandy has caused a wife to cheat on their husband

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uh oh and i don't remember what you know old timey word they had for the women uh having their

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husbands cheat on their wives so apparently reichlanders are just so damn pretty aside from

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that like i said since they're playing on easy mode and their province has everything you could

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possibly want to form a society with they've got reason to be proud of that and again sigmar was

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born there if i had proof you know god was born in my hometown yeah i'd probably have an ego too

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bethlehem people be really bragging yeah

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so like equipment like that basically uh their pride is you know sometimes used for uh for good

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because they uh they view it as like their patriotic duty to and a lot of times join the

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military whenever it's required and help the less uh successful provinces of the empire i'm so glad

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it zoned over sylvania and stirland when i said that because boy do i have words for them later

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but you know if nothing else because of that usually when you hear about a reichlander bragging

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you can at least take some small comfort and they'll at some point go to try and put their

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money where their mouth is uh you know join the military defend whatever province is getting ran

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sack they'll try and do you know decently heroic things with that pride on the flip side

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i would probably be a little bit annoyed if someone came to my town and was like damn you know

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no one here is as pretty as where i'm from you're all fucking ugly uh i probably wouldn't be feeling

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terribly fond of them uh also because it's so well off and because it's between it and null

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it's uh one of the biggest signs that the empire is really industrializing um it's very cosmopolitan

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or trendy if you want to be a little bit less polite so a reichlander merchant goes to nordland

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and just complains the whole time this season's floppy hats are so just they're not good last

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season's fashion was so much better and he's complaining to a nordland merchant who's been

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raided by norskens uh three times that month already it comes across as a little bit tone

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deaf you know it's like you know is this really the most important thing to be complaining about

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so reichlanders are they're made fun of a lot by other factions for being you know

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trendy you know softies a lot of the time but the fact they've earned the right to somehow be

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trendy and fashionable and all that stuff in warhammer shows it's a decent place to live

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if you if you have time to worry about fashion uh it's feudalistic as with the rest of the empire

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but it's progressing pretty well into more modern times like we'd have in the

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have in the renaissance and just realization and almost now carl isn't the only one in charge

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anything he does outside of like three specific uh things which are largely emergency related

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has to be ratified by a council of important figures in reichland so next time someone brings

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up the window tacks you can tell them to get bent because it wasn't just carl who put that into

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put that into motion yeah you got something you want to say elia no yeah no go on felix thinks

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there's an inside job real basically doesn't matter uh we did have a few donations i thought

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i just just do just cover a couple of them we do appreciate them very much brothers uh coffee

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grounds snorting for two bucks said uh law crime stream and scuff name a better two

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oh listen we are functioning adults we didn't say we're functioning well we're functioning um

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tom warren for five bucks thank you brother he says i recently learned that there are gnomes

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that live in the empire and pretends to be halflings so the witch hunters don't burn them

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which is a really radical gnomes go in and out of being a thing in warhammer with like fourth

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edition role play they've kind of come back a lot more into prominence uh but yeah they do exist

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interesting my favorite thing about rightland sure thing it's um what's the forest that's in the

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rightland region the right wall forest right world forest i'm pretty sure that's where the

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um demigriffs come from at least because they have um the demigriff knights which if you have

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played to us for warhammer which are my favorite unit because in the trailer which will hopefully

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in the trailer which will hopefully come up later on the stream for the uh you know just audio

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listeners um the demigriff charge for when the total one trailer came out got me in a like i

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was in a different place i'm feeling patriotic for a country that doesn't exist yes the demigriffs

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are so damn cool although i don't think griffins i think griffins are possibly from another region

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aren't they they're like in mountains or something or from the wood elves there are a lot they're

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often found in mountains yeah uh the uh what is it deathclaw in particular was gifted to frowns

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by the wood elves uh as that's my favorite thing demigriff knights with halberds my beloved um

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but they are yeah they they have like interesting things in right it's not just like there's all

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goody two show they actually have like monster cavalry literally yeah as part of their sort of

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specialty so as much as other regions are like you know oh it's the right lenders oh my god he's

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literally riding a griffin through town yeah uh yeah uh it's also the home of the reichsguard

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the uh personal bodyguard of the emperor and some of the greatest soldiers in the realm unless again

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you're charging down a certain dwarf slayer then you are uh cannon then you are dead but that that

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applies to everyone in warhammer i'm not i'm not gonna fault them for that one um aside from that

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there's of course altdorf i will not talk too much about altdorf both uh for three reasons one

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i'll just be real i'm hoping to hog another episode to it

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i guess it's really just two reasons and two is that i'm not kidding i think it's the single most

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developed location in all of warhammer because there's a warhammer fantasy roleplay supplement

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that's like 200 something pages entirely devoted to altdorf uh so that alone would make this this

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about an hour longer uh but it's the rundown of it is that it's got everything you can imagine the

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colleges of magic there's some you know plenty of industry it's got fishing through the river reich

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trading to marienberg and the rest of the empire the imperial zoo which has a dragon in it griffins

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griff you know demigriffs reichland is the place to be uh magic will just kind of randomly go off

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from the colleges and no one seems to care uh it's just normal uh and overall uh reichland is a

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it's pretty bustling province uh were fantasy to keep going on until like you know more modern

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times it would uh it would definitely be the heart of a whole lot of change uh so with that

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as we have a few donations just before we change we did have one

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i thought we had it saw that one but uh so my bunny caught for 10 bucks he says oh thank the

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horned rat law crimes to listen to whilst trying to deal with flabs i'm not sure uh happy new year

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guys and thank you for being a good distress and listen shout out to everyone who used thank you

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guys so much uh shout out if anyone is like listening whilst they you know is they sleeping

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which would be a weird one or um like going to the gym or doing anything or you know driving we

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appreciate you guys um parker sumlin for five bucks says fine it'll convince me to come to become

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a law criminal instead of an actual criminal how do i become a member again i think it's in the

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uh it's on the channel if you click on memberships or anything like that but if if you do work it out

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we appreciate you so much um heed the carnics for 99 pounds very much thank you so much says

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so colin i see you have found a new excuse to the nurse for marathi and carls rat this guy this guy

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is a fan my god he's on point uh oh to be honest i cannot blame you my question is what armies are

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you guys currently collecting wishing you all good health good luck and plentiful prosperity for 2025

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thank you very much brother thank you that's very generous the answer to that question is tomb kings

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at the moment nights but not great night models i'm doing it all through dark angel so yeah very

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very happy with that mostly it's like a caravan theme thing oh yeah i remember you talking about

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it mostly necrons and a little bit of tau uh but eldar and emperor's children are coming out soon

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so it'll be it will be eating ice soup for a while thanks thanks to you and the other supporters i

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might be able to afford groceries after that happens thank you very much thank you especially

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to um heed the carnics that's very generous um and another i think i caught out a little bit

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but i know we heard you we got you um yeah sick and uh the other one by organo for two bucks says

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are right-handed women anime hot our picks are good question

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so i mean colin has to answer that really uh both they're just that they're just that attractive

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um crazy damn i mean we it makes me feel ugly being again it's the swiss it's the scandinavian

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thing he just like just just dress like a hobo and then actually that makes it worse and they

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look good in back clothing yeah never mind i can tell him okay you'll go please continue on colin

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all right the warrior priest just got obliterated yeah that uh yeah uh but uh

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the next one it's godric it's godric felix i think godric phoenix are you still on the empire

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because i'm on uh i'm on yeah i'm watching the stream i'm watching this stream the streams up to

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bellacor my guy oh i oh i'm watching oh so i was six minutes behind

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okay uh okay it's uh we're coming to middenland now uh you know reichlin's the main character

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right middenland is is the rival that sometimes has a leg up but can never just never wins in the

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end it's uh it's oh my god i've got it it's the you say yeah but literally it's like it's the

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vegeta to goku oh my god yeah uh it's uh where where reichlin has uh you know you know i'm

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jumping ahead a bit it was uh it was the land of the taotigen's tribe uh who were subsumed into

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the empire after sigmar was uh he walked into the flame of ulric came out perfectly fine howling

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like a wolf and then caved a dude's head in uh so uh yeah you know the guy the guy kind of definitely

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maybe a little kind of deserved it so don't no worries me in the weekend uh even with that

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all right even uh even with that though uh middenland is still like the home of the

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ulrican faith it's uh it's where the uh main head of the priesthood the our ulric resides

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it's uh it's still pretty predominantly ulrican and uh they do they kind of look down on sigmarite

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worship they like sigmar everyone you know it was like yeah sigmar was a cool guy good warrior but

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they're like you know we're gonna stick with ulric uh which is ironically enough uh mirrored in

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reichland where they look down on ulric worship which is again kind of ironic but what are you

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gonna do uh it's it's an interesting place to live uh middenheim is the main city and it's built on

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top of a like a plateau uh so incredibly hard to invade even before you get to the massive walls

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with cannons lined all around it uh it's uh it's a bastion of the empire civilization in midland

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which is important for uh reasons we'll get to in just a moment uh it is not quite as technologically

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advanced as you know reichland or viesenland but it's still you know it's kind of up there it's

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still like fairly cosmopolitan it's still somewhat with the times uh there's a lot of dwarfs that live

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there helping keep everything running uh it's a it's still it's still a decent enough place to live

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there's two main reasons i would say it's uh in some ways a little bit behind one is that they

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uh reichland's forest is not too bad it's uh it's fairly clear you can reasonably go through a walk

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in the forest and not get not get murdered by beastmen middenland is about 99 percent beastmen

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by population uh now you know let's let's cut that down to a nice 90 they are fairly adept at dealing

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with it so most of the important places in the province are reasonably permanent settlements

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that aren't just torn down rampantly but it's a very constant fight they're doing to keep the

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you know the province around uh for example the town of griminhagen uh which if you've played war

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hammer fantasy roleplay second edition is the start of a campaign in minnenheim uh is in the

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middle of both a strategic route across the province and a beast path which means every

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five minutes the beastmen tear it down every 10 minutes the empire puts it back up uh rinse and

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repeat for about a thousand years i don't know it's a place sucks and being a halfling there is

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misery uh because you're a halfling running away from kazrak one eye uh i have some biases against

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that town that are only semi lore related the dragon forest as well is it i don't know if i'm

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skipping ahead but there's something else that lives in the forest as well it like turns of

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elf like that's that's a bit more north that's uh that's not mittenland but we'll we'll get to

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that oh yeah yeah i see i see uh although there is something else important there but we'll get to

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that all that i mean we've got we've all got beef with it though the dragon forest because i'm pretty

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sure this is where certain someone became as like his journey was somewhat accelerated to becoming

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uh the killer of all the settings so yeah uh but i don't know if i'm spoiling should keep that

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secret for a second we'll get we could tap in later what's happening later but um yeah the

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four the forest does not take kindly to guests so outside of the highways and the major towns

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good luck having any room for you know industry and development because the beastmen are going to

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rip it down uh the other issue is that you know it's home you know to the worship of wallwork

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right you know the most ancient god of war for humanity so the middenlanders tend to look down

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on some things as you know inventions for you know soft weakling you know those sigma rights down

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there how much to what extent you know definitely varies sometimes it's just you know a bit of a

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disdain for gunpowder outside of like mittenheim's walls because you know you know you've got the

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walls you might as well put a can on it that's not too bad but you know they might look down on you

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if you uh train to be a marksman they're like come on man you worship all right get it get stuck in

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it can extend to thinking any tactics beyond head first charge into the enemy are for stupid idiot

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babies so that's also kind of hampered their development a bit but you know i'm not going to

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be too mean to mittenheim and every time they lose because they thought with their biceps and

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not their brain there's an instance where they won because their insane bravery just tore through

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the enemy like a knife through butter so ups and downs but its ups are as of you know for the most

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part balance out the downs uh pardon me uh jumped ahead jumped around a little bit my notes uh yeah

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some of the beastman there's a lot of reasons the basement just really suck there

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uh because it's there's like three roughly three groups you can say there's your normal beastman

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right who just rampage tear down the all the stuff of men and just make a nuisance of themselves

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then you have the red crown who are uh zinch or chaos undivided unlike normal beastmen they're

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actually pretty happy to work with mortal followers of chaos and they're a lot more organized

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uh the only saving grace for them is that whenever a normal beastman finds them they tend to just fight

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to the death because they do not like the way the other side runs things and of course kaiser gweni

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him and boris todbringers every time they blink the single remaining eye they have

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usually start a giant war with each other to chase them across the goddamn province so it's buddies

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i

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warhammer's most forbidden romance

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it's uh there's a lot of military activity going on in mid-inland and most of it is against the

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beastman uh economically speaking it's a decent it's a decent place uh the soil's not great but

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it produces enough to feed everyone keep a bit of a surplus there's not really much in the way

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of livestock because setting up an isolated farm of cows is asking for a beastman raid

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and there's you know to make up for that though there's a there's a pretty good fur trade

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not quite everything in the dracwold is beastman so you know that's uh that's usually how they get

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any trade goods and of course it's a whole lot of forests uh you know lumber uh when you have

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really nothing but trees in your province you're gonna have a whole lot of lumber to export to the

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rest of the empire there's also the middle mountains which you know there's a little bit

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iron silver gold you know the standard mine stuff that helps keep the minnenheim's war machine going

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and uh hell it wasn't elves uh but there is certainly something very old and very dwarfie

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and maybe someone very old and dwarfie up on those mountains uh who might have had something to do

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with the initial breaking of the chaos gates thousands of years ago but that's uh

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that's something for a different time as it were uh there's there's some important stuff up in the

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middle mountains though aside from that there's uh just ruins all over the province there's elf

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colony ruins dwarf ruins and a whole lot more of ruins just of the empire that were you know built

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during either a civil war or some incursion of chaos or the skaven or what have you

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that just kind of stand there as a reminder of the fact the empire is at war as often as not

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i think because um the rivalry between midland and um reichland is pretty strong but it feels like

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essentially by the time of like carl franz which is the year 2500 um essentially right

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yeah i think right right there's kind of leaving behind places like midland and then despite like

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obviously the quality of truth being maybe you know it's just maybe a bit more ferocious um due

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to the enemies they encounter i think midland it feels like it's a relic isn't it it's a bit more

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of like that's what the old empire was and then reichland represents what the new well basically

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what the future is for the empire yeah it kind of it could definitely be seed in that light yeah

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yeah um but yeah so politically yeah there's that there's that rivalry and it kind of depending on

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the year it ranges between like you know almost a friendly rivalry to uh we're gonna beat you to

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death with hammers um a lot of this stems from the fact that as the home of the cult of ulric they

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get two votes on the who becomes emperor because usually the elector of minland and the are ulric

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they're usually on the same page so they get two reichland gets four because the cult of sigmar has

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three votes so there's a whole lot of arguing over how fair that is among other things

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aside from that uh it's also the province that a lot of people would say if there's anyone

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just likely to outright just secede from the empire it would probably be minland but in the end

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as it should be that whatever dogs go to hell

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they are nonetheless they are loyal to the empire they're not always a fan of you know this the

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weakling sigma right in charge but they will at the very least usually hang around both out of

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loyalty to the empire as a whole and because they're oftentimes just too busy fighting beastmen

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to commit to that whole secession thing uh and massive problems with whole problems as well

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do they i think what the um about that the the uh was it the drachenfel or no

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the dracwalled forest the dracwalled so the drachenfel is a different location the um

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yeah drachenfel is uh isn't it a castle as well castle drachenfel yeah castle drachenfels were a

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guy who old lore was oh yeah a guy who bossed around all of the chaos gods at once used to

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live how did he do this he just built different man old lore is like crazy even this like 40k stuff

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it's like bizarre i mean like even in um the uh the forest has like a massive problem with um

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hobgoblins as well and so he used to freak me out it's like the ones that ride on the spiders as

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well oh those are i think those are just more like just forest goblins but uh yeah they're a they're

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an issue too big which is you know i mean they only have really two enemies other than if you

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encounter norscan invasions but my god like of all the things you want to face them definitely not

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like just to really get across to people how terrifying there'll be a trailer for like when

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the beastman trailer came out like how terrifying a beastman raid is it's truly horrific so

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so midland not for the light heart you know not for the faint of heart no but you know on that

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note to wrap up mid and land one thing i guess you know one hurrah for them you know eli since

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you're going on about they're so great i will give them credit it was the site of the last

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meaningful resistance in the end times uh i think the oak of ages was the last place to fall and

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sylvania and the moot of all places was where the last few remaining important characters retreated

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to but mid and land was where that ritual to stabilize the warp rift and the last meaningful

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resistance occurred so you know what give i'll give mid and land its credit on the way out they

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certainly will get their weight and blood drawn from uh from the enemy they do good fighting

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nice i was gonna say we did have one more donation just before we move on to the next one

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if we if we are um bunny cop again appreciate you brother um fm la is the family medical

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leave act is supposed to protect workers from being punished for being out during a family or

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medical emergencies damn we're saying that's america then damn we have one from tom warren

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above that i don't think we oh i don't agree i miss tom sorry apologies tom he's man is a man

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is an absolute constant on the channel we appreciate and love you i assume uh felix literally is a

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right linda who dresses as a hobo and still has every woman he meets be easily attracted to it

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see right linders are just built different i still find it bizarre how so many people are like like

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felix doesn't come across confident enough to have any riz and yet everyone's like my god that's

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that's felix he's well spoken he's a well educated man but he's you know he's well traveled too he's

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got that gruff bit to him he's got that you know higher class you know sophistication to him but

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you know he also spends most of his time almost dying in the dirt next to gotrick you know he's

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he's a well-rounded man oh and has i mean like this would what is he like a perfect mix of like

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is he henry cavill mixed with prince charming from the shrek film

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that's quite rude yes

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yes i mean i imagine he looks like him what do you mean we have pictures of him he's on every cover

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yeah he looks like i know he kind of looks like it's a little bit of prince charlie from shrek

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you know it's very mean godmother stop calling him all right

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okay apologies apologies keep going uh we're gonna go up north now to nordland uh it's named

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because it's the north land it's really sometimes they did not try at most of these they did not try

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too hard uh norska is one of two imperial provinces that borders the sea of claws

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it's uh what is happening on screen there's a dwarf what are you doing here i pardon me again

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i'm getting confused by the video uh so as a result of this it's it's just like a a day's

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long boat sail away from norska which means boy howdy does it get raided by norskans a whole lot

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to the point you can actually gauge how much of a threat chaos is at any moment by how often

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nordland is being invaded you know once a month business as usual twice a month you know could be

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a sign something's coming could also just be a sign that there is nothing to do in norska in a

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given moment and they're bored once you get to once a week or more than that it might be ever

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chosen season so it's time to it's time to get ready for the storm uh beyond that however it's uh

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it does have some things going for it the imperial navy is largely based out of nordland

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again by virtue of the fact it touches the sea it used to be based in marienberg and then

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marienberg bought its way out of the empire so now it is no longer based in marienberg

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and of course it's got plenty of fishing it's got those kinds of industries it's it's got some stuff

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culturally it's kind of the odd man well there's a couple odd men's out but this was this one is

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like the odd man out in the way it's like you uh you did not join in the same way the rest of us did

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because it was actually conquered into the empire only about i think it was like 500 years

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after sigmar founded the empire it uh it did not join right away so

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not helping that is because it's so close to nordland means a lot of the people there are part

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norscan by blood uh how you were talking about how this might have given rise a little bit to a certain

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uh destroyer of settings uh when the norse skins come down and uh integrate with the imperials as

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it were which in our k-ons case boy that's uh we're not going to talk about the specifics of that one

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of how he was born but for nordland as a whole it has uh given them like i said a reputation for being

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not quite like the rest of the empire when the other are they the poorest no no no we uh we'll

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get the poorest is at the end i saved the worst for last i'm surprised because i you would think

383
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:04,880
with nordland due to all the raiding i assume even just for the people listening at home as well

384
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:11,360
we say raiding isn't there's there's worse things and you know chaos infused norscan tribes there

385
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:19,520
are there are literal black ships of you know what you know a floating castle of death and talk

386
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:26,160
like freely i'm pretty sure it's in the um malice dark blade book they say like the literatures have

387
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:30,880
competitions don't they in which they like read decided like oh for a season it was gonna raid

388
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:39,680
nordland yeah yeah yeah nordland uh also has the dubious honor of being the only province in the

389
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:46,000
only province in the empire that really ever sees dark elves and they are not there to trade they

390
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:51,760
kind of worsen the norscans as well because they don't they don't really want to kill you

391
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:58,400
because that would be the end of the fun so yeah don't get a slave uh we did have um two more

392
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:04,720
donations very quickly uh joseph pollard for 20 bucks thank you here's to 2025 everyone's been

393
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:10,000
very generous tonight thank you guys so much i see you thank well i didn't forget about you um dank

394
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:17,600
master for 10 u.s bucks he says whilst pretty nobles squabble over the scraps of scarcely arable

395
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:25,360
land in the empire gigachad mystical dope smoking world host p did he park with the litigious

396
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:32,080
or was it licentious uh britonian damsels and horny tree spirits wow that's quite a

397
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:39,360
thing that's kind of unconfirmed uh sure is it i mean that's like that's what i was gonna

398
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:44,160
want to ask about um earlier which was like at least in the toes of warhammer map there's

399
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:49,680
supposedly an enclave of elves you can see it on the map right now and i will get to them yes

400
00:43:51,600 --> 00:44:00,560
uh for for nordland's positives you know the empire has stereotypes about the rest of the empire

401
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:06,400
it's a they've developed that it's kind of like how you know in your country you you know you'll

402
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:12,720
have your stereotypes about other parts of your own country when they're feeling polite uh the

403
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:17,520
nordlanders are you know they're a they're a simple folk but you know they're honest they're

404
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:21,920
blunt to a fault they'll always tell the truth uh they're not going to hold anyone back and they're

405
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:27,760
actually pretty renowned for their storytelling in ancient times the the tradition was really just

406
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:32,960
for bragging rights uh in modern times though nordlanders like to just compete to see who can

407
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:37,200
uh who can tell the best story you know they're like it's uh it's more of a friendly competition

408
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:42,560
it's um it's like uh everyone gathers around you know the inn's hearth and sees who can

409
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:49,600
tell the most engaging story it's a honestly kind of cheerful at worst they are looked at with state

410
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:55,200
you know disdain and suspicion especially because of that norscan influence and in fact a lot of

411
00:44:55,200 --> 00:45:02,320
the southern people of norsca will actually migrate to nordland because in southern norsca

412
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:08,400
they actually you know do things other than raid and pillage all the time they still do but there

413
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:15,920
will also be more peaceful-ish tribes that actually will move to the empire for like a better life

414
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:23,840
uh it's and you know sometimes they move on over to uh to nordland because it's right there which

415
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:28,640
again the suspicion i would say is fairly unfounded because those norscans are generally just trying to

416
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:35,280
get away from the hellhole that is norsca but unfounded or not they come from norsca norsca is

417
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:39,440
where a lot of chaos stuff is so they view it with some suspicion

418
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:47,520
uh for some more mundane ways they're looked upon a common sentiment is that the reason

419
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:51,120
norscans will never tell a lie is because they're too stupid to come up with one

420
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:57,680
which hey that's not me that's the rest of the empire uh and that actually sometimes gets taken

421
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:04,000
advantage of by nordland merchants who just pretend they don't notice the sly garbage another uh a

422
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:09,440
merchant trying to pull on them uh but sometimes they go the other way around with embracing it

423
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:13,040
and will just loudly shout out the final price of whatever they're buying

424
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:18,080
so that way the merchant is too just thrown off and maybe a little bit of a

425
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:24,400
downer reputation but they will if nothing else embrace it sometimes and because of that they

426
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:28,080
actually make an effort to be seen especially because the norscan thing to be seen as the most

427
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:35,840
vocally loyal imperials they will very loudly proclaim that they will be the most loyal

428
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:41,600
imperials and they will be the most loyal imperials and they will be the most loyal imperials

429
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:49,360
the most vocally loyal uh imperials uh they will very loudly proclaim how much they love ulric and

430
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:55,200
they generally do like this isn't entirely just for show but they do know that the the cards are

431
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:58,720
kind of against them in the field of public opinion so they they go out of the way to

432
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:09,280
be seen as loyal and also i imagine get help when when an army arrives every wind yeah

433
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:20,480
yeah literally guys kissing kissing asses being like oh my god you guys look so great by the way

434
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:26,960
massive army in my backyard i don't know if you were in like in the neighborhood you know

435
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:33,280
bring over cookies you defend my province kind of trade deal uh i did have a question um

436
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:41,280
um yes okay sorry no go ahead um i don't know if it was gonna come up in a bit but it was

437
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:47,280
i had a question about the capital of nordland is that sulzern i forgot the name of it though

438
00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:53,120
sulzern because i imagine that's not quite i imagine the amount of times that nordland

439
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:58,080
four guys have been raided it's probably not that big or like it's i nordland must not be as

440
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:07,200
populous as i uh i will we will get to it um and then the last one was um the the bit called the

441
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:14,720
wasteland no idea why it's called uh it's called the wasteland which uh we will again uh we'll get

442
00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:22,480
to it um awesome awesome that that'll be a little bit later more for some marienberg stuff but yes

443
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:28,560
it is a we will we will cover it briefly i was married i forgot yeah sorry i always thought it

444
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:34,000
was the nord nordland province well extra bit but the elector of nordland is also technically

445
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:40,560
like the prince of marienberg sometimes which can make relations a little bit awkward uh but

446
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:48,720
that's don't worry too much about it not only so much comes of it ignore me um in the military

447
00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:54,480
nordland there's a bit of a mixed reputation uh perhaps because a little bit of that norscan

448
00:48:54,480 --> 00:49:02,720
influence they're sometimes real eager to to charge the enemy front line uh there was one

449
00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:08,640
battle where the pikemen from nordland just got so anxious to fight they just charged in leaving

450
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:15,360
themselves totally isolated and the enemy and the army's flank completely exposed so

451
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:20,640
they're often treated they're like a they're treated like a hound out of leash almost where

452
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:24,400
it's like you gotta you gotta keep a close eye on them because otherwise they're going to just

453
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:32,720
run off just apropos of nothing the flip side of that though is that there at least you know

454
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:37,600
there's no worries about nordlanders running away from a fight because if they do break and run

455
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:45,920
it's at least going to be towards the enemy not away from it uh as for the economy you know

456
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:52,080
there's a lot of fur trade uh you know they've also got a bit of a quite forested province uh

457
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:58,080
a lot of uh there's also a bit of a timber industry but unlike minland they're not quite

458
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:03,280
as good at getting rid of the beastmen so unless they're accompanied by like a whole

459
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:09,040
regiment of troops the the the woodsmen don't like to go into the forest which has actually

460
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:15,920
led to a bit a bit of a downturn economically speaking but hell you brought up salzenmund

461
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:20,480
it's uh kind of as the time gone on it's been a little bit of a hotbed for trade actually

462
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:27,280
because you know anyone going north from marienberg or from kieslev they gotta go out through

463
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:32,960
erengrad they uh they usually stop by in salzenmund for a bit of a either arrest or just to sell their

464
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:39,360
wares there so it's certainly not like rivaling marienberg but it's actually doing okay for itself

465
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:46,880
it's uh reasonably populated not nothing like altdorfer minnenheim because again there are a

466
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:54,800
whole lot of raiders but it is uh it is a it is a fairly well-off city in the province just just for

467
00:50:54,800 --> 00:51:00,720
a reference and so that's between it's a stop-off point between the ports of the northern uh kieslev

468
00:51:00,720 --> 00:51:06,560
right so that's the that's the um but basically basically eastern europe on steroids kingdom

469
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:11,920
which is above the empire and then they have to travel across the sea of claws if i remember

470
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:18,000
currently and then it's a nice light sob stuff off between those two okay um so it's not totally

471
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:23,200
it's like it actually has a purpose if you know i mean yeah no it's like it's it's uh it's a pretty

472
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:29,040
decently like decently well-off enough city i would say like more than anything after everything i

473
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:34,400
read about it it's more of just like it's a bit of a slump uh especially you know again there are

474
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:40,960
norse skins but it is in the grand scheme of things not a complete backwater mud pit we're

475
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:46,160
not at sterling yet it's not just like a a succulent chinese meal for the norse

476
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:55,040
by this by this point after 2500 years of imperial history they are if nothing else

477
00:51:55,040 --> 00:52:02,560
accepting of the fact that boy howdy there sure is a whole lot of raids uh so they're used to it

478
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:11,040
uh we did it very quickly we did have two more donations one by um organoth oh yeah organeth

479
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:17,200
sorry uh for two boxes are you gonna do a video on archaeon i mean absolutely probably yes

480
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:22,880
if we have our own dedicated full because that's a long um story but we'd happily do that uh

481
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:29,520
uh donkeyman us say appreciate your brother uh for five bucks he says how i made a multi-headed rat

482
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:34,400
rat king if anyone remember that was on the previous um thing we've discussed actually

483
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:39,920
we'd love to see uh discord is actually coming very soon guys so we'll be even sharing some

484
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:44,880
pictures of all the things we're working on so how can you read the message below donkeyman us's uh

485
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:54,720
donation uh by nordan bakers says bless you may your teats bear much fruit in cream jesus

486
00:52:56,000 --> 00:53:03,920
ah that's disgusting um funny fellas about to say like yeah i'm i'm just cringed but he has a way

487
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:10,800
funny appreciate you guys so much uh so i continue on color we're gonna up the pace a little bit uh

488
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:16,480
uh nordland is we were again you did mention the wood elves there's two reasons all of nordland

489
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:21,360
doesn't quite belong to nordland the mundane one is that apparently nordland just has

490
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:28,080
like documents giving them claims to half of the northern empire no one really listens to them on

491
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:37,280
this uh but they do technically i guess have those claims uh aside from ignoring that uh there's also

492
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:42,960
laura lauren forest which is a bit of an enclave of the wood elves that live there but that's not

493
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:47,840
as horrible as it could be because these wood elves actually are they're actually reasonably

494
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:54,720
polite all things considered uh if you trespass in the forest they will still kill you but they will

495
00:53:54,720 --> 00:54:00,480
they will at least you know kindly ask you to leave first before they just fill you with arrows

496
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:07,600
as opposed to athel lauren where they will just kill you on sight uh they'll even uh send delegates

497
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:12,640
to middenheim to help settle disputes with nordland because they they really just they really just want

498
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:17,360
to live in peace they actually just want to be left alone in the forest not like athel lauren

499
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:24,960
or every now and then they just show up and murder you uh and uh that was actually part of the reason

500
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:29,280
they had to be conquered into the empire because early on in the empire's history everyone was too

501
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:38,320
scared of the magical forest to intervene uh and yeah overall nordland not the most bustling

502
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:44,560
provinces definitely can be dangerous but if you want some uh if you want to go on a high sea

503
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:50,000
adventure in the empire that's really the only place if you want the uh if you really want to

504
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:54,720
kill norsekins it's a great place to live and if you don't mind the danger and just want to spend

505
00:54:54,720 --> 00:55:01,280
your time you know telling stories and drinking at the bar the worst place is to live uh going to

506
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:09,280
what i was saying nice nice people people gotta make a living no matter where it is in the

507
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:15,760
mission it's not as bad as 40k you know the empire no there's there's very few places in the empire

508
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:25,120
as bad as 40k yeah uh going to the right of uh nordland east i guess ostland uh eastland again

509
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:34,160
not very creative uh it's it's like nordland but worse uh at least in terms of threat level

510
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:43,520
because it directly borders the sea of claws and keesleaf so it has the you know the more

511
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:50,240
standard viking raids to deal with and then whenever the ever chosen has done ransacking

512
00:55:50,240 --> 00:56:00,320
keesleaf ostland is right in the path uh they're going through so it's uh it's very dangerous uh it

513
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:04,640
is in fact one of the most sparsely inhabited and poorest provinces in the entire empire

514
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:12,160
not helping this is covering the whole thing almost is the forest of shadows uh the drakwald

515
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:17,440
sucks because it's 90 beastman the forest of shadow sucks because beastmen are the least

516
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:23,280
problematic thing in it there's a lot of not terribly well developed but it's got like the

517
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:30,320
blanket statement of really scary eldritch forest stuff going on in it uh lumber you know lumberjacks

518
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:35,120
will go in cut down a tree and then they turn around and the path they walked in on no longer

519
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:41,440
exists uh you tend to not come out alive if you go too deep into that forest is that do you reckon

520
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:48,160
a consequence of all the previous like chaos incursion oh and in part it is absolutely like

521
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:53,920
there are spots that are very corrupted by chaos there but it's also in part just just like that

522
00:56:53,920 --> 00:57:02,480
it just sucks uh it's a bit of a double whammy uh very briefly with their economy it's hunting

523
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:08,880
foresting and farming none of which is profitable uh it's not very successful and none of it is safe

524
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:14,720
even the farming it is not a pleasant pace to be and wow carl friends just hit bellacor with the

525
00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:21,840
goddamn haymaker with the galar as on stream and then a deadlock caught him midair holy shit

526
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:30,640
pardon me i that that took me for a loop he's absolutely still there to chat uh yes sir

527
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:34,320
everything's everything's said about the uh you know you can say about nordland though or

528
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:39,920
austin pardon me it's got a little bit more of the vibe of like the guard right where you know

529
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:44,560
it's grim it's dark but it's like it's very defiant they know they're in a very dangerous

530
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:52,400
province and they uh they'll do their best to hold the line for the empire i did think i heard a small

531
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:59,600
part of law about this in which is often used as like a penal place slash if someone is like

532
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:04,560
obviously like the politics of the empire is quite intricate and there's obviously a lot of games

533
00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:08,720
going on and i think if people want to be you know say say you wish your opponent to be punished

534
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:15,120
there might be giving them the might be given an assignment in this uh region i think i've heard

535
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:22,000
it can be sometimes yeah uh that's especially so close to keeslev means you're close to chaos

536
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:28,880
mostly bitley cold as well yeah yeah uh although that being said they do have pretty close ties to

537
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:35,760
ties to keeslev uh arguably closer than the rest of the empire and in turn keeslev considers austin

538
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:40,240
one of the few provinces of the empire that isn't just all weakling baby southerners

539
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:46,560
there's a lot of tall and raya worship because it's so forested and dangerous forest

540
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:54,560
ulrich of course too as with all northern provinces and it's they do their best to at least if nothing

541
00:58:54,560 --> 00:59:00,880
else make uh make chaos pay whenever it comes on down through and they do a decent enough job at it

542
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:07,600
just through population other reasons they're not they don't hold the line very long but they they

543
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:16,640
definitely uh they make uh they make chaos pay whenever it comes knocking they are of course still

544
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:26,560
uh you know that's um so like i said the empire has jokes and you know stereotypes about the

545
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:32,160
rest of the empire uh the jokes about austlanders is that they're all inbred

546
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:40,240
and uh unfortunately a lot of towns in austin do in fact

547
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:46,400
consist of one really large extended family so there is perhaps a little bit more than just

548
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:54,880
jokes to this uh to this joke sweet home austin just watch the empire just be destroyed on live tv

549
00:59:54,880 --> 01:00:01,280
that was tough yeah that was that was real unfortunate to see remember the fallen in spite

550
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:06,240
of being like really just not a great place to be it is a proud province they're they're decent and

551
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:11,040
honest folk they respect their families which again yeah there's there's a little bit it some uh

552
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:15,920
some habsburg stuff going on there well it's your cousin's your wife you gotta respect her

553
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:24,880
but you know they're aside from that they are decent enough folk who do their part defend the

554
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:31,840
empire and there's worse place there's worse provinces not many but a couple uh going back

555
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:38,400
west a bit now uh hawklund almost smack dab in the middle of the empire uh as a running theme you'll

556
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:43,200
notice it's also like 90 forest there's a whole lot of imperial provinces like that

557
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:50,320
hawklund is kind of all over the place like every like it'll have x thing going for it

558
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:57,840
and then y thing completely contrasts that for example pretty low population but it is

559
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:02,160
both pretty well traveled being in the middle of the empire a lot of trade routes go through it

560
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:06,480
and fairly secure in spite of the beastmen they're not as much of a problem as they are in other

561
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:14,480
provinces the river talabek runs right through it providing trading and fishing but even with

562
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:20,720
that it's not terribly wealthy and anything beyond the basics usually have to be imported it can feed

563
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:25,440
itself but you know if you want the luxury venison steak or whatever yeah they're gonna

564
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:31,600
hunt it yourself or import it it is the smallest province i believe it is yeah

565
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:37,280
uh it's military you know relatedly not very large uh not suited for open combat

566
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:43,600
but in its element of like forested you know hidden run battles it's arguably the best in the empire

567
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:49,600
uh it has the hawklund long rifle which is an actual rifle like rifling in the barrel

568
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:57,120
but it has no industry because again it's all forest so there's not a lot of those long rifles

569
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:01,280
which is a shame because if the empire could make a couple thousand more of those it could

570
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:11,280
probably go crusade into norska shout to andretton on he's in the chat i love i love nordland i love

571
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:19,760
i love nordland i love nordland i know i love nordland you're a good man you didn't say sterling

572
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:26,800
so i don't need to mail you at the kaczynski special uh if you go back in 20 minutes brother

573
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:34,560
we just talked about nordland for a good walk so enjoy uh the uh you know for all that a couple of

574
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:39,040
what i've just mentioned is kind of downsides it's a it's a pleasant of province to live like i said

575
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:45,440
it's very well traveled since it's right in the middle of the empire so you know it has to be

576
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:53,520
safe enough uh to be well traveled so again not the worst place and uh just a very um small just

577
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:58,560
want to ask a very small quick question about um you mentioned they have the hawklund rifles like

578
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:03,200
it's basically in the total warhammer that's their regiment of renown right uh no it's actually just

579
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:09,680
a unit now uh they introduced it with the later dlcs is there any special units just from the

580
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:14,080
game i know like they have for the previous two we talked about which is like obviously

581
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:21,680
nordland and um i do not remember hawklunds i think fun it might be a war wagon of all things

582
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:29,440
damn of all the things um but the the stereotype about hawklunders is

583
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:38,640
they're just nice like that's it uh like if if you're feeling like rude it's like they're nice

584
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:44,160
because they're naive rather than actually polite or loyal but i mean if that's like the cutting

585
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:48,720
you know the cutthroat stereotype about your province it says pretty good things about the

586
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:54,640
people there i'd like to imagine you know damn we got lenny from of mice and men like in the hawklund

587
01:03:54,640 --> 01:04:01,520
oh god huge we have adrenaline in the chat again talking about nordland uh it's got a

588
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:07,440
it's actually got a it's got a small magic school it's got a lot of different faiths present to the

589
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:12,400
point that i don't really honestly even want to say one of them is more dominant it's a bit of a

590
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:18,160
melding pot and in some ways it's kind of almost like a more rustic reichland like all things

591
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:23,840
considered it's fairly secure trade does at least go through it you know like it's the uh the capital

592
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:31,120
uh her gig you know little magic school kind of like rustic reichland uh not the most bustling

593
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:36,960
not quite as trendy but it's a decent place to live there's not too much to say about it

594
01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:40,880
so i'll just end by telling you the full name of the hawklund long rifle

595
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:48,320
it was made by a man named leon todmeister and the full name of this gun is uh

596
01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:54,960
leon todmeister's fantabulously far-reaching harcobus of unforeseeable and unperceived bereavement

597
01:04:56,400 --> 01:05:03,760
bereavement so uh you know i think 40k's got to step up the names of some of the inventions if

598
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:09,760
that's the if that's the competition come on give me something goofy like that you tell me arken land

599
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:17,760
no i wrote in the video on my channel this script is all coming from arken you know what they

600
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:22,000
should have called the land speeder they should have called it arken land's wonder amazing flying

601
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:28,560
box of rapid destruction domination give me something funny like that come on do they have

602
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:34,880
um is it where's the brass keep i know that's like that's like in the more north than like the middle

603
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:43,360
mountains uh hergig or not uh hawklund also borders those is it in the hawklund uh it is

604
01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:49,600
technically a part of hawklund's or is it so that's why i think it's like a proper mountainous one

605
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:54,160
that one like probably one of the most looks it looks to be one of the more safer regions within

606
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:59,360
the empire because the beastmen we know aren't quite enough they have like mountain goats they

607
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:06,960
don't have mountain beastmen i don't think so it i think it is technically part of hawklund it's not

608
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:10,880
terribly used it's like on the map it's technically part of hawklund but no one goes there

609
01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:21,760
but yeah it's uh it is there uh and for the next province austermark uh another province with austin

610
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:29,360
the name unlike austin though it is not imperial guard hold the line no matter what and it's just

611
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:35,280
kind of a pathetic miserable place to live uh we'll go through the we'll go through the good

612
01:06:35,280 --> 01:06:39,280
things first we'll go through the first good things first i will start by being polite

613
01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:46,880
uh it's uh considered in some ways like a mini empire like i think the official name is like

614
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:53,280
the league of austermark or something like that uh and it's you know it's fairly somewhat

615
01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:58,240
self-sufficient kind of you know it's got close ties amongst itself that's good

616
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:04,480
the land is incredibly fertile and has access to plenty of resources because it also borders

617
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:11,360
the world's edge mountains that's good and uh it breeds some of the finest horses in the entire

618
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:16,880
empire so when the uh you know the reichsgard the various knightly orders need to need to get some

619
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:22,080
new horses an austermark horse is a is a great place to start they're probably like the finest

620
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:26,800
horses you can get short of going to like ulthuan where you have magical elf horses

621
01:07:27,680 --> 01:07:29,920
go fuck yourself brittonian horses

622
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:38,640
now the negatives it is a very mismanaged province uh the government not terribly comfortable

623
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:46,560
province uh the government not terribly competent which is a small issue but it starts compounding

624
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:53,120
with the the second and really the biggest issue which is that uh it gets the honor of fighting

625
01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:58,960
pretty much every threat in the warhammer world that isn't the dark elves uh the forests have

626
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:04,720
beastmen because of course they have beastmen it also borders kislev so chaos usually comes on down

627
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:11,600
there too uh unlike austin though uh it varies between being friends with kislev and kislev

628
01:08:11,600 --> 01:08:17,200
trying to raid it themselves so sometimes the marauders from the north are vikings sometimes

629
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:24,400
they're eastern europeans uh bordering the world's edge mountains means plenty of orcs and goblins

630
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:29,840
come on through which at one point included grimgoar ironhide if he's paying a visit to your home

631
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:35,760
you should really move i would advise moving don't open the door he can't hurt you if you

632
01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:43,520
don't open the door oh he's not the door is a suggestion to him uh we're not done yet

633
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:52,400
because to the south we hit sylvania so vampire zombie land is right there uh usually it's not

634
01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:56,800
the main focus of like you know the vampire council when they're going off but you still

635
01:08:56,800 --> 01:09:03,120
border sylvania you still have hordes of zombies sometimes moving up uh we're not done yet because

636
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:07,200
really the east is the only safe direction because then you hit the rest of the empire

637
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:14,400
the ground is also terribly unsafe because the skaven are there because there's warpstone

638
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:19,760
why is there warpstone because the sky isn't safe either because a comet crashed into the old

639
01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:26,720
capital of mordheim obliterated it and put a whole bunch of warpstone there so the skaven loved

640
01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:34,560
to show up other people love to show up to try and get it it's socks and austermark also there's the

641
01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:42,000
griffin woods which is you know in the lore it's more just you know generic evil magical forest

642
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:50,000
in total warhammer draika lives there who is the insane forest spirit who helped sabotage the wood

643
01:09:50,000 --> 01:10:01,200
elves at every step in the end times so uh this place is awful uh mordheim uh was just a hot spot

644
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:07,440
for like i said it was the center of the game mordheim eventually magnus the pious uh blessed

645
01:10:07,440 --> 01:10:13,360
be the only magnus who knows how to do things in warhammer uh he burned it down because it was just

646
01:10:13,360 --> 01:10:20,240
that much of a shithole but it's such a shithole mordheim that timey wimey shenanigans happened

647
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:26,800
and it had to get burned down a second time by gotchigan felix because of course it was them they

648
01:10:26,800 --> 01:10:32,960
kind of show up everywhere uh bellacor was also trapped in it for a bit if you needed more reasons

649
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:39,280
to not want to move to austermark he said crying well is is the um in the southern regions there's

650
01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:46,880
also the marshes i'm yeah that's where uh it's close to those are technically in sylvania but

651
01:10:46,880 --> 01:10:53,840
they're close enough to austermark yeah the marshes of hellfen where there's a funny funny enough out

652
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:59,120
of all places to get this lore it's a throwaway line in vermintide where every couple of years

653
01:11:00,080 --> 01:11:05,360
vampires will go to hellfen and try and like make an army for themselves to the point that they

654
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:10,480
stop numbering the the amount of battles that have taken place in hellfen because they're

655
01:11:10,480 --> 01:11:18,480
worried it just encourages the vampires to try again austermark sucks you're trying to get that

656
01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:30,960
69 that 69 army going yeah what okay uh the the stereo between them they must be like what number

657
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:36,320
army is this guy he's obviously that guy's 68 and that guy's like i have to do the next one i have

658
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:45,360
to be so someone has to commit to that bit yeah um uh the the joke about austermarkers is that

659
01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:50,560
you should never ask them how their day is going because the most depressive tirade you could ever

660
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:55,360
possibly get in response awaits you do not ask them how their week was don't ask how things are

661
01:11:55,360 --> 01:12:03,600
going you're gonna walk away from that conversation sad and kruber from um vermintide he got sent there

662
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:08,160
didn't he to that province i believe he did and i think that's where his old regiment uh is he was

663
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:14,080
leading he was the sergeant of got wiped out by necromancers this place sucks don't go to austermark

664
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:21,760
he was in there as like a like a punishment for something and then and then he found a group of

665
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:26,880
people he's like oh these guys they're not too bad these labs immediately vaporized they pushed him

666
01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:32,560
aside and and now he has a drinking problem despite that it's still not the worst province

667
01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:38,080
we'll get to that uh but first i want to go somewhere less shit uh to labaclans

668
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:45,200
they love tall it's named after the nature god tall they've got the river talabek that runs

669
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:53,200
through it they like tall uh it is surely enough again another nature preserve province but pretty

670
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:59,760
decent all things considered uh it's one of the largest center right yeah this is the big old one

671
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:05,840
that just stretches across the entire middle of the empire uh the river stir is also there

672
01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:13,760
so it's got a good stuff from that uh heavily forested like i said so naturally the main jobs

673
01:13:13,760 --> 01:13:18,800
you know hunting and foresting but it's one of the most heavily militarized provinces in the empire

674
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:25,440
as well uh partial just you know it's safe enough that it can afford the time and money to build an

675
01:13:25,440 --> 01:13:31,600
army it's uh you know tall is uh he's got a every now and then there's a bit of a warrior streak

676
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:37,120
with him so there's that it's uh and of course you know because it's so big they've got a whole lot of

677
01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:43,760
trade routes and roads and just land to patrol so it's uh joining the army is a very common thing

678
01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:49,200
there uh merchants also because the two rivers going through it are pretty big trading rivers

679
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:55,920
in the empire so they uh it's a it's a pretty well-off province with the forest itself it is

680
01:13:55,920 --> 01:14:02,320
so safe that one of the most common threats are human bandits which if a random schmuck

681
01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:07,600
has like the safety to walk into a forest and become a bandit you're you're in a pretty good

682
01:14:07,600 --> 01:14:13,680
province you know he doesn't get mauled by beastmen immediately that's that's pretty good going

683
01:14:15,680 --> 01:14:23,200
um there are practical folk over there in talabac land um one of the stereotypes about them is that

684
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:28,560
they're stupid and they don't wear clothing they just wear leaves uh and they're like really

685
01:14:28,560 --> 01:14:35,360
argumentative but you know obviously they resent that a bit and when the empire is feeling kind

686
01:14:35,360 --> 01:14:40,160
they're just like you know honest hard-working rustic folk they just uh eschew creature comforts

687
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:45,840
they take what they need and that's really all they go for so it's a it's a decent enough place

688
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:52,000
uh children will usually be taught by their families like hunting and survival lessons

689
01:14:52,000 --> 01:14:56,480
because it's so forested and even without beastmen you know it's still a forest

690
01:14:56,480 --> 01:15:02,000
sure you know kazrek one eye isn't going to rampage around but they're still bears

691
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:07,040
so good to know good to know your way around the forest if you need to know it

692
01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:13,520
in spite of being so militarized they're not uh they're not glory hounds they believe you know

693
01:15:13,520 --> 01:15:19,760
glories for the army and for the unit as a whole not you so if nothing else they're humble

694
01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:27,680
nice uh they're they're they're decent folk uh and their city uh the capital talabheim is built in

695
01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:34,720
the impact crater of a comet or a meteor uh one or the other uh it's time very it wasn't i think

696
01:15:34,720 --> 01:15:39,280
thank god it was another warp as well no that you would have been the end that would have been

697
01:15:39,280 --> 01:15:45,280
horrible no this this was just like standard big rock uh which not very good but it's not very

698
01:15:45,280 --> 01:15:50,560
deep but the impact pushed up like massive mountainous walls around the whole things

699
01:15:50,560 --> 01:15:57,200
there's only one way in and out so despite the fact not a single like almost no defensive

700
01:15:57,200 --> 01:16:03,200
structures in the city were made by the empire itself aside from minnenheim it's the single most

701
01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:09,120
well defensible location in the empire because you got to climb up an artificial like mountain

702
01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:14,800
semi-artificial rock and then you have to climb up a mountain and then you have to climb up a

703
01:16:14,800 --> 01:16:23,120
artificial to get into it and the other option is one single gateway that has a thousand cannons

704
01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:28,960
pointed at it at any given moment the chokiest of holes basically yeah and again you know

705
01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:34,320
there's not a lot of things that can fly in warhammer and out of the things that can fly most of

706
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:40,720
them are kind of like you know animals like fell bats or vargais and stuff so if you try and fly

707
01:16:40,720 --> 01:16:49,120
over you're probably just going to get shot so yeah place to be uh it did kind of cause the war

708
01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:55,120
of three emperors a little bit uh the age of three emperors which was a civil war that was basically

709
01:16:55,120 --> 01:17:02,640
a thousand years long uh when the elector countess of uh talabac land claimed she was robbed of the

710
01:17:02,640 --> 01:17:12,800
vote to become the empress and to be fair she absolutely was uh and when the midden minnenlander

711
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:17,280
said hey you should do something about that we don't want the cult of sigmar to have their

712
01:17:17,280 --> 01:17:26,000
candidate in she invaded stirland uh won the bid for emperor uh and then the cult of sigmar

713
01:17:26,960 --> 01:17:29,680
gave three reasons as to why you're not allowed to become empress

714
01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:35,200
one uh one was admittedly an unspoken reason that being we are not giving up our power grab that

715
01:17:35,200 --> 01:17:41,680
easily so get bent uh two was that this one's a little bit less honest they were just like well

716
01:17:41,680 --> 01:17:47,920
yeah we cheated but you lost the vote anyway so sucks to suck go back home and then the third reason

717
01:17:47,920 --> 01:17:56,160
they just pointed at her and went woman which interestingly enough that defense was not brought

718
01:17:56,160 --> 01:18:01,680
up when she became the elector countess that defense was not brought up again but again

719
01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:06,640
the cult of sigmar was not going to let this power grab go to waste so they were they were

720
01:18:06,640 --> 01:18:15,840
reaching for all measures as to not let this lady be in charge uh so she declared herself empress

721
01:18:15,840 --> 01:18:22,800
and semi succeeded like they basically just did not recognize the other emperor and then a couple

722
01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:27,360
hundred years later midland got in on the fun and succeeded too uh and declared they were the true

723
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:34,000
emperors so a shame about that because aside from that telebic land's a pretty decent place to live

724
01:18:35,520 --> 01:18:41,200
uh there's only a couple more major you know remaining provinces to go uh next is avar land

725
01:18:43,440 --> 01:18:49,440
uh it's a decent place to live uh actually not very forested like there's not much in the way of

726
01:18:49,440 --> 01:18:55,360
forest so one of the only places in the warhammer world you can reasonably confidently say no

727
01:18:55,360 --> 01:19:00,880
beastman uh probably the only place in the empire at that too

728
01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:07,360
uh it's uh it's not quite you know the uh you know the rivers run through it it's not quite as fertile

729
01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:12,960
as austermark it makes up for this by not being austermark in every other way so that's something

730
01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:19,280
so that's something uh it floods pretty oftenly kind of like the nile and uh but the avar landers

731
01:19:19,280 --> 01:19:23,440
are real chill people they're just like well you know we live in a real nice land that's just the

732
01:19:23,440 --> 01:19:29,600
price we pay uh one of the biggest things it has going for it is cattle ranching of all things

733
01:19:30,720 --> 01:19:34,880
the closer you get to null and weasel land you get you know more classical nobility of the

734
01:19:34,880 --> 01:19:42,880
uh ranching my own cattle is for the paws to do not to me uh but you get to the center and it's

735
01:19:42,880 --> 01:19:48,400
actually a competition of like uh i ranch my own goddamn cattle you schmuck i'm a real noble

736
01:19:49,920 --> 01:19:57,120
uh also there's two important things this leads into one is that you can technically have a

737
01:19:57,120 --> 01:20:03,280
completely lore accurate army of cowboys you know in warhammer fantasy especially because again like

738
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:07,120
they have flintlock pistols they're not you know it's not the six shooter although actually the

739
01:20:07,120 --> 01:20:11,520
dwarves do have revolvers so you know what you can just straight up have an army of cowboys in

740
01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:18,240
warhammer fantasy if you want and two is that the joke about avar landers is that they fuck cows

741
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:25,920
all right all right uh which you know i think that's why i like fantasy more than 40k that's

742
01:20:25,920 --> 01:20:34,640
the quality world building that i'm here for uh politically avril is kind of almost like the elves

743
01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:41,280
instead of either just assassinating your political rival or having a nice honest

744
01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:47,120
inner province civil war when it's time to see who's the new elector count there's some really

745
01:20:47,680 --> 01:20:53,680
intricate and dense political maneuvering that no one looking outside in can understand what the

746
01:20:53,680 --> 01:20:59,920
hell is going on uh and not helping this is that avar landers tend to change who they're backing

747
01:20:59,920 --> 01:21:05,680
at the drop of a hat and uh in fact to the to that matter that's one of the negative reputations

748
01:21:05,680 --> 01:21:12,480
avar landers have is that they're just changed their minds at the most random of whims uh but

749
01:21:13,440 --> 01:21:18,000
you know offsetting that is that they're they're an honest and some of the cheeriest folk in the

750
01:21:18,000 --> 01:21:23,680
empire uh they speak their mind they're happy to have a good time uh i'm fairly sure they love

751
01:21:23,680 --> 01:21:28,240
nordland because nordlanders love telling stories avar landers love hearing stories

752
01:21:30,160 --> 01:21:36,720
uh they uh they have good pretty good relations with the dwarfs too because avar landers have a

753
01:21:36,720 --> 01:21:44,160
similar sense of humor to the dwarfs uh you know very boisterous and uh to the point as it were

754
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:53,440
um oh and uh the specific note was also made uh mentioned that avar landers are very generous

755
01:21:53,440 --> 01:21:58,880
with uh tourists and stuff and they will happily buy you around if you're new to their little town

756
01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:06,640
which probably also helps the dwarfs uh like them because free beer on the downside avar landers

757
01:22:06,640 --> 01:22:14,400
are largely considered uh if we're being polite eccentric if we're not being polite bat shit insane

758
01:22:15,360 --> 01:22:20,480
uh which they resent that sentiment but they put marius leitdorf in charge of the province

759
01:22:20,480 --> 01:22:28,960
who would wage war on unicorns and imaginary enemies so do what you will uh with that insanity

760
01:22:28,960 --> 01:22:35,200
accusation uh they're also just kind of generally superstitious but this is more of like you know

761
01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:40,320
discord e-girl superstition where you uh you have to talk about the rock collection for three hours

762
01:22:41,920 --> 01:22:46,400
it's not like you know properly like you know a stranger comes to town it's like oh it's a bad

763
01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:51,040
omen they're just like no they're gonna lecture you about astrology which even then astrology

764
01:22:51,040 --> 01:22:56,800
it's a fantasy setting that is a valid school of subject not the way they do it they they go oh

765
01:22:56,800 --> 01:23:03,840
there's a cloud in front of that star today that's a sign of it's gonna rain in three years and

766
01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:07,760
i don't know drown my dog it's like what what is bro yapping about

767
01:23:10,640 --> 01:23:14,800
i just noticed your mouse on the top right of the screen call oh shit pardon me let me get that out

768
01:23:17,840 --> 01:23:26,960
people come with the quality of our entire time miller uh we have a donation by um uh marty as

769
01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:34,000
yes seven you give us ten bucks thank you brother it says love love all you do because if you find

770
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:41,440
peeps got my first set to build and paint repping your sigma keep being great and that sweet deep

771
01:23:41,440 --> 01:23:48,240
juicy lore thank you man and uh we will continue doing just that we will talk about geography

772
01:23:48,240 --> 01:24:00,240
yes waver the seed indeed um but uh aside from aside from this uh militarily everland is uh

773
01:24:00,240 --> 01:24:06,000
they're kind of the imperial fists of the empire they are the defensive experts uh they also despise

774
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:13,280
orcs which kind of again relates to the imperial fists uh that whole war the beast thing um this is

775
01:24:13,280 --> 01:24:18,880
more terrain reasons isn't it this is more terrain reasons because uh bordering the mountains and

776
01:24:18,880 --> 01:24:24,640
more importantly black fire pass which is uh if you know your history of warhammer sigmar is a

777
01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:29,280
fought there against them orcs and uh a whole lot of other armies have fought against orcs there

778
01:24:30,240 --> 01:24:36,240
so it's a massive death valley essentially like if you wanted to go down to the um the border prince

779
01:24:36,240 --> 01:24:43,040
region so basically spain in ojama fancy there's only really one way which is you go around you

780
01:24:43,040 --> 01:24:49,360
know messed up france bretonia by sea or you have to basically go through mountain passes which is

781
01:24:49,360 --> 01:24:57,040
near um reichland or you have to do black fire which is right the south yeah that's also how

782
01:24:57,040 --> 01:25:01,040
they trade with the dwarfs largely at least the ones that aren't just like bordering the empire

783
01:25:01,040 --> 01:25:06,480
in the mountains so very dangerous but they do work with the dwarfs and they set up just extensive

784
01:25:06,480 --> 01:25:12,640
fortifications and more to hold out any greenskins that like to come on in because that happens quite

785
01:25:12,640 --> 01:25:19,840
frequently uh they do not like works it's a greenskin channel essentially yeah it is a river of orcs

786
01:25:19,840 --> 01:25:26,960
at any like on average um but you know this has like i said given them that if you want to

787
01:25:26,960 --> 01:25:31,520
if you're an imperial and you want to hire like a certain province to defend like your little keep

788
01:25:31,520 --> 01:25:38,080
can't do better than an everlander uh since uh i kind of touched it you know they like the finer

789
01:25:38,080 --> 01:25:44,400
things in life they like to have a good time their uniforms are noted as being particularly gaudy

790
01:25:46,000 --> 01:25:52,800
whether or not they're more effective than in other empire provinces is up for debate

791
01:25:52,800 --> 01:25:58,160
but they sure are more expensive even down to like the average state troop

792
01:25:59,920 --> 01:26:05,280
they are also like a little bit superstitious you know in the military as well but again it's not

793
01:26:05,280 --> 01:26:10,320
like actually turning and routing because there was a scary rock over there and that's a bad sign

794
01:26:11,040 --> 01:26:15,920
and they actually they will they will get mad at you and like deck you in the face if you imply

795
01:26:15,920 --> 01:26:21,360
that they're any less brave than another imperial state because of that they uh they do not like

796
01:26:21,360 --> 01:26:27,040
that implication uh and overall honestly if you couldn't live in reichland you'd probably want

797
01:26:27,040 --> 01:26:34,080
to live in avorland it's a it's a nice sunny place uh again no forest no beastman really nice

798
01:26:34,080 --> 01:26:40,000
pretty nice place to be they do you know there is a decent amount of orcs and in fact at one point a

799
01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:46,720
uh war boss named gorbed ironclaw kind of ransacked the province a bit but for the most part not a bad

800
01:26:46,720 --> 01:26:56,240
place to be uh also if you want to hunt halflings for sport you go to avorland because it was only

801
01:26:56,240 --> 01:27:02,080
a century prior to the rule of carl franz that that was finally outlawed and marius

802
01:27:02,080 --> 01:27:10,800
leitdorf nearly brought it back bruh so if you if you if you want to run down a halfling on a horse

803
01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:19,280
you can do no better me me on my bachelor weekend the uh the second to last province is weason land

804
01:27:19,280 --> 01:27:26,240
or viesen land i don't know man uh it's equal parts bustling place of industry and trade and

805
01:27:26,240 --> 01:27:31,760
kind of a backwater uh depending on if you're a gnome or not but hell you did mention it a bit

806
01:27:31,760 --> 01:27:40,560
earlier uh sulland talk a little bit about that first uh that oh really not much to talk about it

807
01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:48,880
that gorbed ironclaw fella you know avorland got hit hard sullen got wiped off the map and uh the

808
01:27:49,920 --> 01:27:55,520
province or what was left of it was just quietly subsumed into most weason land and avorland

809
01:27:55,520 --> 01:28:00,880
uh this is a good this is a good time i really want because i'm desperate to bring this up which

810
01:28:00,880 --> 01:28:07,680
is um i don't know if you're going to talk about it which is um each of the provinces has a runefang

811
01:28:10,480 --> 01:28:14,240
oh just i'll just a is only a brief uh thing to add which is essentially

812
01:28:14,800 --> 01:28:22,240
each of the main like capitals or regions or was i think back when um the original tribes under

813
01:28:22,240 --> 01:28:28,800
sigmar were unified they were each gifted with a dwarven ford sword which was called a runefang

814
01:28:29,680 --> 01:28:33,040
i mean i mean you can just probably describe them better than i can they kind of just like

815
01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:38,880
insanely deadly like magical swords they're they're just incredibly busted magical swords

816
01:28:38,880 --> 01:28:42,640
that if you get caught by one even if you don't die that wound is never healing

817
01:28:43,840 --> 01:28:49,440
so actually it's like imagine lord of the rings but it's like first age elves like weaponry like

818
01:28:49,440 --> 01:28:54,320
that level of like it won't rust it won't become any less definitely they don't pretty good they

819
01:28:54,320 --> 01:28:59,440
don't tarnish they don't lose their sharpness they they're proper deadly weapons and uh

820
01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:07,280
solons may or may not be in the hand of guilt who likes to steal random artifacts

821
01:29:08,640 --> 01:29:14,720
because he is a it's one of the few ones in which the runefang the runefangs are usually

822
01:29:14,720 --> 01:29:19,920
as a badge of office for the elect accounts of each region so even the poorest regions still have a

823
01:29:19,920 --> 01:29:27,280
runefang but um the weird one is like sullend obviously there's an extra runefang lying around

824
01:29:27,280 --> 01:29:34,240
although i do believe carl franz's one is wielded by his champion possibly

825
01:29:34,240 --> 01:29:40,720
yeah i think yeah so it can be lent out but um the runefang is essentially a badge office and sullend

826
01:29:40,720 --> 01:29:45,360
and sullend the only thing left of it really was essentially a runefang

827
01:29:48,240 --> 01:29:54,480
yeah weasel and as a whole is a kind of similar to uh reichland in terms of like what it has

828
01:29:54,480 --> 01:29:58,960
because it's got it also borders the gray mountains so it's got a lot of you know iron

829
01:29:58,960 --> 01:30:04,320
and silver and stuff and all that you know the stuff you find in the mines uh in the south from

830
01:30:04,320 --> 01:30:12,320
what was sullend uh it has uh what do you call like sullend was a very fertile province so it's

831
01:30:12,320 --> 01:30:18,880
got you know good crops vineyards cattle all that nice stuff uh the land in the west is garbage but

832
01:30:18,880 --> 01:30:26,880
again mountains that's not what it's there for uh it also inherited from sullend survivors guilt for

833
01:30:26,880 --> 01:30:31,440
some strange reason because i couldn't act like over the fact that sullend was obliterated and

834
01:30:31,440 --> 01:30:35,760
it wasn't and from what i can find it's not actually like survivors guilt like oh they

835
01:30:35,760 --> 01:30:43,360
secretly caused it it's just like catholic guilt where you just feel bad why do i even exist yeah

836
01:30:44,880 --> 01:30:50,320
which you know i get it oh and uh there's also an uh underground canal that connects to tilea

837
01:30:51,840 --> 01:30:57,440
oh that's just goes through the mountains uh that'll be just a reference people that's incredibly

838
01:30:57,440 --> 01:31:03,680
long then just in terms of yeah it's how to travel hundreds of miles but something you've got to keep

839
01:31:03,680 --> 01:31:08,240
the trade routes flowing you know but there are like imagine even then there are still

840
01:31:08,240 --> 01:31:14,320
loads of the old dwarven um underpass roads that but we're just describing it for the audio

841
01:31:14,320 --> 01:31:20,240
listeners where we are currently uh we're literally at the very most like southern tip of the um of

842
01:31:20,240 --> 01:31:25,680
the empire of man and essentially is the whole southern region is oh the southern parts of the

843
01:31:25,680 --> 01:31:31,440
empire is essentially is just bordered by mountains mostly pretty much all inhabited by

844
01:31:32,160 --> 01:31:36,320
dwarven lands and if you know anything about dwarven lands they like their tunnels or slash

845
01:31:36,320 --> 01:31:42,000
underpass which are massively carved out regions and um like you know literally you think that for

846
01:31:42,000 --> 01:31:46,640
how short dwarves are you could fit like 10 giant stacked upon tackles on screen tackles on screen

847
01:31:46,640 --> 01:31:56,000
big big malachite soon oh big big my husband my husband uh moving on anyway uh although yeah uh

848
01:31:56,000 --> 01:32:01,440
the fun fact about the canal i don't believe it was built by dwarves it's a largely natural uh

849
01:32:01,440 --> 01:32:11,120
like underground river that they smoothed out and uh used for trade uh very neat uh we'll talk mostly

850
01:32:11,120 --> 01:32:17,120
about wiesenland because it's not terribly developed outside of known known is really the only

851
01:32:17,120 --> 01:32:27,360
important thing in it uh they're uh they're very they're kind of like austere markers at least in

852
01:32:27,360 --> 01:32:33,680
like how they act like they're very dour short to the point conversations which they uh might have

853
01:32:33,680 --> 01:32:41,760
actually got inherited from the dwarfs as a joke in the empire uh short joke do what you will sigma

854
01:32:41,760 --> 01:32:47,040
worship is dominant but you know there's tall and raya there too uh because they're such a religious

855
01:32:47,040 --> 01:32:50,320
folk they were actually kind enough to give all the dwarfs that live there that they built them

856
01:32:50,320 --> 01:32:56,480
their own two temples for their own gods which is you know just just kind of a nice thing uh by

857
01:32:56,480 --> 01:33:01,760
contrast if you live in known it's a far more cosmopolitan city it was at one point the capital

858
01:33:01,760 --> 01:33:07,120
of the empire and then the ruling emperor moved it to altdorf when grom the paunch was rampaging

859
01:33:07,120 --> 01:33:14,800
through it so he just kind of ran away and changed capitals uh it's an economic powerhouse uh if there

860
01:33:14,800 --> 01:33:19,840
is a new invention of war coming out in the empire it's probably coming from known there's

861
01:33:19,840 --> 01:33:25,040
dwarf engineers everywhere the best way to know if someone does not live in known is if they duck

862
01:33:25,040 --> 01:33:29,040
and cover when a cannon shot goes off because that's just kind of a regular thing there

863
01:33:29,040 --> 01:33:38,640
because of the engineering colleges uh it's uh very contrasting between inside known and outside

864
01:33:38,640 --> 01:33:44,000
of it known is actually technically just an independent city state uh weason land

865
01:33:45,920 --> 01:33:51,840
the capital is weessenberg but no one gives a shit uh if i'm to be frank with you

866
01:33:51,840 --> 01:33:58,080
yeah so it's kind of like canada having ottawa as the capital and yet no one wants to go there

867
01:33:58,640 --> 01:34:06,320
yeah basically it's yeah it's uh if you're reading about anything important in weason land it's in

868
01:34:06,320 --> 01:34:13,760
known including once again gotrick and felix is a huge city though isn't it i don't think it's

869
01:34:13,760 --> 01:34:19,920
rival it's colossal it kind of does in some ways like it was the old capital of the empire and it's

870
01:34:19,920 --> 01:34:25,360
still in the southern portions like the economic powerhouse it's it's still like a vastly important

871
01:34:25,360 --> 01:34:33,920
city um it's uh although ironically the army of weason land fights similar to hawklund which is

872
01:34:33,920 --> 01:34:38,560
all hit and run tactics with a little bit of pikemen thrown in because they're kind of close to

873
01:34:38,560 --> 01:34:46,640
brittania so you gotta kill the horses with the big stick uh i'm assuming weason land has such a

874
01:34:46,640 --> 01:34:52,400
kind of a bad army because no one is just hoovering up every single bit of funding that could otherwise

875
01:34:52,400 --> 01:34:57,920
be allocated the president elector countess of no one like despises the rest of weason land

876
01:34:57,920 --> 01:35:04,800
she does not like the province she only likes no she is an asshole i mean you can't blame her though

877
01:35:06,080 --> 01:35:11,760
i mean if i lived in weason land i probably would but i suppose it's not my problem in fact you know

878
01:35:11,760 --> 01:35:17,760
what let me describe weason land for you it's illinois because 90 of the place is nothing and

879
01:35:17,760 --> 01:35:25,360
corn and then you hit chicago that's it again it's not even the capital but no one gives a shit about

880
01:35:25,360 --> 01:35:34,080
springfield there's 50 of those in america no one cares uh yeah welcome to weason land although

881
01:35:34,080 --> 01:35:39,920
again i'm probably more likely to get mugged in chicago than nuln so you know there is that

882
01:35:39,920 --> 01:35:49,520
yeah depends if it was by a human or a scaven yeah and for one final province the worst the last god

883
01:35:49,520 --> 01:35:56,880
this place sucks mirathy's hands mirathy excuse me pardon me she's on screen right now uh feet

884
01:35:56,880 --> 01:36:06,480
i see dirty all right i'm gonna stop all right all right i'm locked in and in the worst way possible

885
01:36:06,480 --> 01:36:20,320
uh stirland awful uh the stolen hate is funny i'll be honest they deserve it let's just start off with

886
01:36:20,320 --> 01:36:27,600
the land itself it's shit there's marshes there's like winding rivers that are not very profitable

887
01:36:27,600 --> 01:36:31,920
aside from the river stir and it's really just kind of the endpoint of the stir like they're

888
01:36:31,920 --> 01:36:40,320
stirred throughout the rest of the empires what matters uh the land isn't great for crops either

889
01:36:40,320 --> 01:36:48,080
it's just a misery just miserable uh the sometimes it's just like there's some decently prosperous

890
01:36:48,080 --> 01:36:52,480
cities that trade with you know the dwarfs and zoof bar uh those dwarfs for those of you who've

891
01:36:52,480 --> 01:36:59,600
played total war are right below uh sylvania and tend to be incredibly annoying throughout most of

892
01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:08,400
your campaign because the vampires early on cannot deal with dwarf infantry uh but uh

893
01:37:09,760 --> 01:37:16,880
stirland you the moment you leave that city backwater mud pit just horrid place to be it's awful

894
01:37:17,840 --> 01:37:25,600
uh speaking of sylvania it's right next to the border uh unlike ostermark though sylvania is

895
01:37:25,600 --> 01:37:32,720
smack dab in the uh pretty much every military campaign that is being done uh you want to get

896
01:37:32,720 --> 01:37:39,680
to the you know reichland and altdorf you march right through stirland uh however unlike the

897
01:37:39,680 --> 01:37:45,040
provinces like nordland or midland who are prepared for these threats uh averland's military

898
01:37:45,040 --> 01:37:51,200
response no no uh pardon me stirland's military response is to hope that averland's army is ready

899
01:37:51,200 --> 01:37:59,120
to go because otherwise it's just getting ransacked uh relatedly half the province is

900
01:37:59,120 --> 01:38:04,880
corrupted by dark magic uh so you know good for them uh another reason the land sucks not even

901
01:38:04,880 --> 01:38:09,520
you know it's not even chaos dark magic it's vampire dark magic which means sometimes you

902
01:38:09,520 --> 01:38:16,960
bury your grandpa and then he gets back up the next day huge they're also incredibly superstitious

903
01:38:16,960 --> 01:38:22,080
but unlike averland this is the bad kind of superstition where they see a cloud that looks

904
01:38:22,080 --> 01:38:27,520
vaguely almost like a skull if you squint really hard and pretend and they go no we can't fight

905
01:38:27,520 --> 01:38:33,600
today we gotta go home the uh the omens are bad my 15 good luck charms are uh they're all burnt out

906
01:38:33,600 --> 01:38:38,880
they're out of juice i gotta leave uh which is not a joke because uh there was a stirland around a

907
01:38:38,880 --> 01:38:46,400
ship who had 16 good luck charms on him at any given moment presumably had more why was he on

908
01:38:46,400 --> 01:38:51,680
a ship if he's in the middle of the empire he was he somehow ended up in like a marienberg trading

909
01:38:51,680 --> 01:38:57,040
vessel i don't know how he got there he just did presumably he wanted to not be in stirland

910
01:38:57,040 --> 01:39:03,280
anymore which is a very admirable quality to have i just you make it sound like all stirlanders

911
01:39:03,920 --> 01:39:09,920
baseline are just arseholes oh i'm not done yet because you know what i'll try and give them

912
01:39:09,920 --> 01:39:15,520
right the smallest amount of credit if i live next to sylvania i'd probably be a bit superstitious too

913
01:39:15,520 --> 01:39:21,600
right but they're superstitious of you know dark magic admirable thing and then there's superstition

914
01:39:21,600 --> 01:39:28,240
of uh that guy who walked into town he smells too clean i don't like it he's up to something

915
01:39:28,720 --> 01:39:34,800
we should burn him if you think i'm kidding there's a town in stirland where if a traveler comes

916
01:39:34,800 --> 01:39:42,240
through the local tradition is to have the children throw shit on them because they believe the stench

917
01:39:42,240 --> 01:39:48,240
drives off evil spirits they genuinely believe what they're doing is helping protect the traveler

918
01:39:48,240 --> 01:39:56,160
coming through their town this place sucks this place isn't it is backwater everyone there is

919
01:39:56,160 --> 01:40:04,960
stupid and dumb and ignorant it sucks stirlent sucks uh also they still also just do not like

920
01:40:04,960 --> 01:40:09,680
strangers because oh you're new you're different what kind of dark magic are you bringing in

921
01:40:09,680 --> 01:40:13,600
oh it's the sun started going down bolt the door scary things are going to happen

922
01:40:14,480 --> 01:40:20,640
it it's it's just it's pathetic you look at this and go damn i feel sad for you unless you were

923
01:40:20,640 --> 01:40:24,800
you know one of those guys who just had shit thrown on them then you're probably fresh out of pity

924
01:40:25,760 --> 01:40:31,600
only because they are literally surrounded by entirely better provinces in every respect like

925
01:40:31,600 --> 01:40:36,480
they don't specialize in one thing better than any of the provinces next the closest thing they

926
01:40:36,480 --> 01:40:41,840
have to that is they help to like they their military patrols the river stir which you know

927
01:40:42,400 --> 01:40:48,320
important enough job it would sure be pretty cool if uh you stop throwing feces at people

928
01:40:50,880 --> 01:40:53,520
i mean that's just that's a that's a sterland handshake

929
01:40:57,200 --> 01:41:02,240
like at best the other empire like other imperials view them as like you're quaint

930
01:41:02,240 --> 01:41:08,000
you're a quaint province at worst just take the rant i've just gone on and that's how they look

931
01:41:08,000 --> 01:41:14,640
at stirlanders uh technically sylvania is part of stirland functionally that doesn't matter

932
01:41:15,600 --> 01:41:22,160
no one they do not rule sylvania then they have there's there's something redeeming about i mean

933
01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:29,360
isn't technically another region part of stirland that's like somewhat redeeming the moot is not a

934
01:41:29,360 --> 01:41:37,760
redeeming province oh come on i'll briefly talk about it uh for people who don't know this they're

935
01:41:37,760 --> 01:41:43,520
gonna love this part because it's my favorite thing to immediately destroy on any vampire

936
01:41:44,640 --> 01:41:50,160
in fact coming up on the end uh there's a couple of things to touch on is uh the last thing for

937
01:41:50,160 --> 01:41:55,840
sterland is that they also hate halflings like averland but in averland it's like i find it kind

938
01:41:55,840 --> 01:42:02,400
of funny uh because like you ever see that like that simpsons episode where mr burns is uh

939
01:42:03,120 --> 01:42:05,040
hunting everyone like the greatest game

940
01:42:08,000 --> 01:42:12,080
uh well i don't know it's he's he's it's like a tree house of horror episode i think he's hunting

941
01:42:12,080 --> 01:42:17,440
all the he's like hunting the cast it's like it's kind of darkly funny like that like you know some

942
01:42:17,440 --> 01:42:22,880
averlander and you know he's going halfling hunting it's like it's it's darkly funny in

943
01:42:22,880 --> 01:42:30,880
sterland uh they have a tradition where the children will make a halfling piñata pretend

944
01:42:30,880 --> 01:42:37,760
that all the treats inside were stolen by the halfling and uh then they beat it which they call

945
01:42:37,760 --> 01:42:44,880
uh making the halfling give it back which is really messed up and to make it worse

946
01:42:44,880 --> 01:42:51,920
uh sterlanders will deny that they get drunk and do that with actual halflings which for those of

947
01:42:51,920 --> 01:43:00,400
you not familiar that is just a lynching perhaps which is crazy because the the land in which is

948
01:43:00,720 --> 01:43:07,280
essentially called the moot is part of sterland which is like the the the region in which all

949
01:43:07,280 --> 01:43:12,800
halflings like you know hey here's a haven for you here's his hobbiton if you want it by the way let's

950
01:43:12,800 --> 01:43:20,320
give it to the anti the anti-hobbit alliance over there god it's like giving the hobbiton to the

951
01:43:20,320 --> 01:43:27,760
witch king honestly yeah um halflings are probably halflings are not quite as nice as hobbits you

952
01:43:27,760 --> 01:43:33,840
know what speaking of let's talk about the moot let's talk about the moot uh all right sterland

953
01:43:33,840 --> 01:43:40,320
hates it because they like it was part of sterland and a little bit of averland and then the halfling

954
01:43:40,320 --> 01:43:46,720
chief baked the ruling emperor such a good meal that he not only made it semi-autonomous

955
01:43:47,360 --> 01:43:52,560
but gave them a vote in deciding who becomes the emperor because the feast was just that good

956
01:43:54,720 --> 01:44:01,120
uh i'd be tilted too yeah uh as for the halflings themselves because really the moot starts and ends

957
01:44:01,120 --> 01:44:07,680
with it's very fertile the halflings live there halflings and warhammer you know older gw would

958
01:44:07,680 --> 01:44:11,840
sometimes just quietly slide in something incredibly racist into their lore

959
01:44:15,680 --> 01:44:19,440
if you know about the pygmy models you need me say no more

960
01:44:21,440 --> 01:44:23,840
not great not great

961
01:44:25,600 --> 01:44:32,240
the halflings are written as if someone was unbelievably racist but towards halflings

962
01:44:32,240 --> 01:44:38,640
towards halflings like like someone read lord of the rings and just wanted to beat frodo into a

963
01:44:38,640 --> 01:44:46,720
pulp speaking of that um there's a slightly on brand donation which is by jack n he gave us 20

964
01:44:46,720 --> 01:44:52,560
bucks thank you so much for that's really generous just finished months of shame and i have no idea

965
01:44:52,560 --> 01:44:56,960
how people say grey knights are better than space wolves literally the only time they were cool is

966
01:44:56,960 --> 01:45:03,040
when they displayed human emotions the one thing they were trained not to do in brackets also i'm

967
01:45:03,040 --> 01:45:11,600
very gay donation and the uh the the fucking signature your donations might as well every

968
01:45:11,600 --> 01:45:19,040
time i see it i literally chuckle space cool space cool halflings yeah so one more one last donation

969
01:45:19,040 --> 01:45:26,800
which also from jackie thank you there's um culto and culto dude for five bucks says why is chat so

970
01:45:26,800 --> 01:45:31,840
well behaved today they weren't earlier trust me where's all the comments about collins miss

971
01:45:31,840 --> 01:45:36,800
shaping head i demand a pancreas land that he never thinks about right well we are missing dj

972
01:45:36,800 --> 01:45:43,200
beasts today but the check out pretty horrific after you send that donation so yeah yeah i think

973
01:45:43,200 --> 01:45:47,120
i missed one about someone said something about collins forehead as well i missed that don't worry

974
01:45:47,120 --> 01:45:53,200
there's there's one more jack n donation still talking about the monster shame stuff i think

975
01:45:53,760 --> 01:45:59,280
if you want to read that oh i missed that one at the bottom yeah he just happened yeah right

976
01:45:59,280 --> 01:46:04,160
you almost forgot they were also they also were fooled by an inquisitor manipulating them with

977
01:46:04,160 --> 01:46:10,800
warp magic honey and his words like wtf shouldn't that shouldn't they be immune to that probably

978
01:46:10,800 --> 01:46:17,360
thank you for the five dollars jack n but yes you're right uh they are actually uh somewhat

979
01:46:17,360 --> 01:46:21,200
immune to chaos resistance they actually get like a pretty significant bonus to be able to

980
01:46:21,200 --> 01:46:26,400
handle like warpstone in a warhammer fantasy roleplay uh for all i'm about to find other

981
01:46:26,400 --> 01:46:34,560
great nights oh well i uh i'm a little confused uh anyway for all i am about to shit on the halflings

982
01:46:34,560 --> 01:46:40,400
and i am about to do that uh i have a character in a roleplay campaign that is a halfling named

983
01:46:40,400 --> 01:46:47,520
borbo freebo uh his i you are told to like describe like your characters build and everything in

984
01:46:47,520 --> 01:46:55,280
creation and he is a meatball with a with a lazy eye but don't worry because he once stopped a

985
01:46:55,280 --> 01:46:59,920
lady from summoning a demon of corn by hitting her in the head with a rock huge

986
01:47:02,000 --> 01:47:08,880
because halflings actually are decent enough marksmen but for halfling slander almost all

987
01:47:08,880 --> 01:47:18,320
of them are morbidly obese uh they're lazy uh and they just love stealing stuff like again

988
01:47:18,320 --> 01:47:23,840
and uh i think it's the fourth edition roleplay core book uh an elvin merchant who for god only

989
01:47:23,840 --> 01:47:28,880
knows what reason was in the mood says like yeah you know halflings uh they're polite enough but

990
01:47:28,880 --> 01:47:35,280
every time i would put something down it would mysteriously go missing uh so yeah they're so

991
01:47:35,280 --> 01:47:39,520
greedy that at one point avriland was going to like build some roads through the moot

992
01:47:40,160 --> 01:47:45,520
to not only help like facilitate troop movements but also bring trade to the region both of which

993
01:47:45,520 --> 01:47:48,960
will purely help the halflings because they're also all cowards to a man

994
01:47:50,720 --> 01:47:55,040
and in exchange for this was all on like avriland's bill by the way and then the halfling

995
01:47:55,040 --> 01:47:59,680
elder said whoa you gotta pay us a whole lot of gold and cattle for that privilege

996
01:47:59,680 --> 01:48:05,200
which for some reason avriland put up with uh and then they got to a river so they started building

997
01:48:05,200 --> 01:48:10,240
a bridge and then construction workers would get kidnapped and then they you know they would send

998
01:48:10,240 --> 01:48:16,160
more workers they get kidnapped again they found out that it was a halfling like extended family

999
01:48:16,160 --> 01:48:21,840
like slash gang doing all this and when the avriland officials were like dude please tell

1000
01:48:21,840 --> 01:48:28,240
them to stop stealing our workers the moot land elder said well we can't stop them we said you

1001
01:48:28,240 --> 01:48:36,800
could build roads we said nothing about bridges and then uh and then marius leitendorf and i quote

1002
01:48:37,760 --> 01:48:44,000
uh assembled the army and told it to slaughter every one of the malodorous runts

1003
01:48:45,920 --> 01:48:54,160
and then uh and then the halfling rebellion happened where it only ended after carl fran said hey man

1004
01:48:54,160 --> 01:49:02,000
please stop tearing down the mood uh but the the two noteworthy things to know were that uh

1005
01:49:03,280 --> 01:49:07,840
it only ended after quote leitendorf had sated his fury

1006
01:49:11,280 --> 01:49:16,320
and the halflings actually hired some ogres to defend them and then when the war ended

1007
01:49:16,320 --> 01:49:20,320
the ogres just kidnapped a bunch of the halflings and brought them back to the mountains of morn

1008
01:49:20,320 --> 01:49:27,920
the mountains of morn to force them to cook they literally are like just mini ogres so

1009
01:49:27,920 --> 01:49:34,800
welcome to the history of the moot it's greed racism and genocide this place is awful for

1010
01:49:34,800 --> 01:49:40,400
different reasons marius is it leitendorf lived you know died as he lived or he died in black

1011
01:49:40,400 --> 01:49:48,720
fire he died he lived probably did he probably had like one halfling with him just to get one

1012
01:49:48,720 --> 01:49:56,960
last murder in he's like glorious last stand also on his eulogy halfling bane or something

1013
01:49:56,960 --> 01:50:02,000
there's a there's two more brief former provinces to cover no we're not doing sylvania because this

1014
01:50:02,000 --> 01:50:08,080
is one we've been here a while and two that's a that's far more for a vampire episode than this

1015
01:50:08,080 --> 01:50:14,160
yeah it's his own thing uh the one former is the drakwald it was a province between midland and

1016
01:50:14,160 --> 01:50:20,000
nordland it was corrupt it was constantly beset by greenskins and beastmen and then it was just

1017
01:50:20,000 --> 01:50:27,360
subsumed into midland and nordland there's really not a lot need to know about it presumably anything

1018
01:50:27,360 --> 01:50:34,400
that applies to midland also apply did apply to that place uh and then we have westerland

1019
01:50:34,960 --> 01:50:42,160
which if you're being rude it's the wasteland if you're being honest it's marienberg because 99

1020
01:50:42,160 --> 01:50:48,320
of the wasteland uh goes as such there's a lot of swamp there's a big road big road that connects

1021
01:50:48,320 --> 01:50:56,480
some of the outlying hamlets and uh there's sheep herds in the south that's it as for marienberg

1022
01:50:56,480 --> 01:51:02,000
it was a province in the empire and then it bribed the emperor with a whole lot of money to uh be

1023
01:51:02,000 --> 01:51:09,680
independent the reference is the northwestern part above where the the reich river which connects

1024
01:51:09,680 --> 01:51:16,240
altdorf and reichland the capital it leads it the river goes past marienberg into the sea

1025
01:51:17,040 --> 01:51:23,440
and it sort of skirts britannia's eastern edge slash i guess yeah it borders britannia doesn't

1026
01:51:23,440 --> 01:51:30,800
it technically marian uh it does um and the way marienberg was able to afford buying its independence

1027
01:51:30,800 --> 01:51:38,400
is that it is uh it is the capital of trade in the warhammer world maybe maybe lothurn can be argued

1028
01:51:38,400 --> 01:51:42,640
to be better than it uh you know in alfuan the home of the high elves because they're a very

1029
01:51:42,640 --> 01:51:52,560
seafaring state as well uh yeah or something or maybe nagaroth oh i think that's a different kind

1030
01:51:56,800 --> 01:52:04,080
um but uh again you know you all know i love elves it's a very big maybe if lothurn's able

1031
01:52:04,080 --> 01:52:09,840
to compete with it because at one point the high elves burned down marienberg because there were

1032
01:52:09,840 --> 01:52:14,160
there was some stuff going on with the you know disputes and all and such and such and disrespect

1033
01:52:14,160 --> 01:52:19,920
no no need to get into it there's a reason that it was then immediately rebuilt and the elves

1034
01:52:19,920 --> 01:52:27,440
didn't just salt the land for you know daring to you know besmirch our essor pride and that's

1035
01:52:27,440 --> 01:52:31,760
because if you want to make any real money you go to marienberg and even they have to admit that

1036
01:52:31,760 --> 01:52:40,720
uh arabi alfuan empire petonia caselove dwarfs even even norscan sometimes you want to trade you go

1037
01:52:40,720 --> 01:52:46,400
to marienberg and uh within it you can find pretty much anything uh you can find you know mundane

1038
01:52:46,400 --> 01:52:52,320
trade goods you can find some illegal mundane trade goods you can find some perhaps more

1039
01:52:52,320 --> 01:52:57,360
sorceress some warp stony trade goods if you look hard enough you can find anything you can you can

1040
01:52:57,360 --> 01:53:03,520
go gamble you can go drink you can trade you can if you want to view it honestly as like warhammer

1041
01:53:03,520 --> 01:53:10,960
vegas there's worse ways to uh imagine it uh you know if you leave with less than three sdis you

1042
01:53:10,960 --> 01:53:16,800
didn't have a good trip to marienberg is it there are there parts of it which are floating was that

1043
01:53:16,800 --> 01:53:20,720
just i'm maybe thinking i think there are uh there are a few yeah kind of like venice

1044
01:53:20,720 --> 01:53:29,280
venister paul in the chat is basically begging you to talk about secessionists the empire secessionist

1045
01:53:29,280 --> 01:53:37,360
oh the ones that you destroy literally yeah the ones that get bulldozed in your fifth empire

1046
01:53:37,360 --> 01:53:42,080
playthrough that week yeah they wanted to not be in the empire and then they were reminded no you're

1047
01:53:42,080 --> 01:53:49,680
part of the empire asshole what else is there in depth in depth lore right there they're not even

1048
01:53:49,680 --> 01:53:54,560
an official thing that's just like yeah sometimes people try to get away from i mean sometimes the

1049
01:53:54,560 --> 01:54:00,960
empire like people will try and succeed but they usually don't there's a lot of um from what i

1050
01:54:00,960 --> 01:54:06,160
remember like in the gotrich and phoenix books because they go to marienberg maybe at least one

1051
01:54:06,160 --> 01:54:09,680
yeah that's where they uh that's where they get defeated by the only enemy to beat them which is

1052
01:54:09,680 --> 01:54:16,640
two schmucks with a couch well because a lot of um there's a lot of mercenaries around yeah but

1053
01:54:16,640 --> 01:54:22,160
yeah oh it's uh there's a lot of mercenaries and there's actually embassies from pretty much every

1054
01:54:22,160 --> 01:54:28,880
major non-evil faction in the game uh you know and also a lot of the minor ones uh arabi, tailea,

1055
01:54:28,880 --> 01:54:33,440
stallia, you know, brittonia of course, the empire, the elves, everyone's got some embassies in

1056
01:54:33,440 --> 01:54:39,120
marienberg uh all of them are spying on each other all of them are spying on marienberg marienberg

1057
01:54:39,120 --> 01:54:44,560
knows they're all spying on each other and is feeding information back and forth sometimes

1058
01:54:44,560 --> 01:54:52,800
legitimate sometimes not and uh they can very easily get away with this because everyone wants

1059
01:54:52,800 --> 01:54:59,520
marienberg for themselves but more importantly they don't want anyone else to have marienberg

1060
01:55:00,560 --> 01:55:05,600
so whenever someone gets a little bit too uppity and might think oh yeah i'm uh i'm coming to take

1061
01:55:05,600 --> 01:55:11,440
this place they will usually get dogpiled by everyone else who also has a vested interest in

1062
01:55:11,440 --> 01:55:18,800
taking the place uh and yeah it's uh it's actually also got a parliamentary democracy and if i remember

1063
01:55:18,800 --> 01:55:25,840
correctly invented the word democracy in warhammer fantasy which is kind of neat and it's only

1064
01:55:25,840 --> 01:55:32,720
doesn't exist it's only it's only kind of corrupt only a little bit which is pretty good

1065
01:55:32,720 --> 01:55:43,200
uh and uh with that lore vomit that is the empire of man uh the province one last thing though

1066
01:55:43,200 --> 01:55:52,400
my beloved my beloved there's no you don't need a steam tank in oh i got how did i forget would you

1067
01:55:52,400 --> 01:56:00,800
please continue color yes there is the marienberg land ship uh it is a big boat with wind and

1068
01:56:00,800 --> 01:56:07,920
it is a big boat with wheels that they wheel across the land what's the what's the door behind

1069
01:56:07,920 --> 01:56:11,760
it isn't it like they couldn't they couldn't afford they couldn't afford a steam tank

1070
01:56:13,680 --> 01:56:19,120
so they built that they couldn't like they couldn't steal one or like take get one from the

1071
01:56:19,120 --> 01:56:25,600
regular empire ceded from so they made their own like slash we have a steam tank at home

1072
01:56:25,600 --> 01:56:30,800
which i'll give it i'll give it its credit right it's a boat on the land you can't sink it

1073
01:56:33,280 --> 01:56:38,080
bro it's and it's stupid i mean like i love like parts of marienberg are like it's basically it's

1074
01:56:38,080 --> 01:56:44,560
like the best of what money can buy doesn't mean it's the best is the best of money so you get

1075
01:56:44,560 --> 01:56:50,000
stupid things if something has a price you can buy it in marienberg there's just some things

1076
01:56:50,000 --> 01:56:57,040
that don't have a price i say it just size-wise is it comparable to altdorf i guess as a merchant

1077
01:56:57,040 --> 01:57:02,880
thing or is it more of a it's it's up there like it's it's a very big city um i would say not quite

1078
01:57:02,880 --> 01:57:07,520
as big as altdorf but a lot of that is again just because it borders the sea so a lot of the people

1079
01:57:07,520 --> 01:57:11,840
in it like come and go because they're traders so they only need so much permanent habitation

1080
01:57:12,720 --> 01:57:16,880
um and a little bit of the outlying provinces remember like i said where they herd sheep

1081
01:57:16,880 --> 01:57:24,400
uh there is a decent enough place to be like uh live shout to my um my the marienberg steam tank

1082
01:57:24,400 --> 01:57:32,720
though for wrapping up i mean colin colin even giving us a a grand tour i uh the empire i don't

1083
01:57:32,720 --> 01:57:38,640
believe you'll visit anytime soon though because there's no need to die no i forgot one last piece

1084
01:57:38,640 --> 01:57:44,560
of sterling slander uh if you'll forgive me uh the dwarfs hate the province because they boil their

1085
01:57:44,560 --> 01:57:48,560
ale and they consider everyone in that province to be bat shit insane for it

1086
01:57:50,560 --> 01:57:55,600
can you really blame can you really blame them i hate sterland i hope they i i wish them a very

1087
01:57:55,600 --> 01:58:01,840
of the fall of reach they're they're brave fellows they are not brave fellows they are superstitious

1088
01:58:01,840 --> 01:58:07,680
morons well they live right by it this is like when they're sterland or death

1089
01:58:09,200 --> 01:58:13,280
there's like when you hear someone says like oh i prefer room temperature like beer and then you

1090
01:58:13,280 --> 01:58:18,080
and then you can't be friends with them ever again so shocking someone just like

1091
01:58:18,800 --> 01:58:24,960
it's five million warpstone rockets to sterland get rid of the province obliterated the empire

1092
01:58:24,960 --> 01:58:32,400
will be better off still in the tax bill collects taxes from sylvania uh what like the the five

1093
01:58:32,400 --> 01:58:39,280
pennies from the two living people in sylvania oh yeah what what taxes sorry i have a donation by

1094
01:58:39,280 --> 01:58:44,880
jack and jack end do you sound like um the guy from what we do in the shadows i just imagine he does

1095
01:58:44,880 --> 01:58:51,040
because he he says um what's the most grimdark uh hell's reach like fancy book to start warhammer

1096
01:58:51,040 --> 01:58:57,200
fancy with oh sorry i just did this and um one that a gay man might enjoy thank you for the five

1097
01:58:57,200 --> 01:59:04,000
and and this part is literally like lazlo in my head from one that's a gay man might enjoy

1098
01:59:04,000 --> 01:59:09,360
you something i uh i i off the top of my head i don't know anything specifically like uh

1099
01:59:10,080 --> 01:59:14,800
hell's reach but the mathias thuleman are kind of grimdark it's a it is a witch hunter with a

1100
01:59:14,800 --> 01:59:21,600
moral compass but he's still a witch hunter uh so he's not the stuff he's involved in is not

1101
01:59:21,600 --> 01:59:28,400
exactly you know the evening tea time it is a usually quite fucked up stuff so i would

1102
01:59:28,400 --> 01:59:34,560
recommend mathias thuleman i mean the ultimate recommendation is always will be gotrick and

1103
01:59:34,560 --> 01:59:42,160
felix yeah it's because you just you like you don't really get like a warhammer like as much

1104
01:59:42,160 --> 01:59:47,120
like you i love going to like read lots like grimdark thing because like oh you know like the

1105
01:59:47,120 --> 01:59:53,840
knight lord trilogy what a crazy achievement of like storytelling that is but then you just

1106
01:59:53,840 --> 01:59:58,480
got to hit me with that kai force kane energy you got to hit me with that gotrick and felix like

1107
01:59:58,480 --> 02:00:03,520
you just like you generally are excited to see the next book because you just know it will like you

1108
02:00:04,080 --> 02:00:11,040
entire thing and um one fancy has got a special place for that with gotrick and felix and i think

1109
02:00:11,040 --> 02:00:16,960
colin more than anyone else would highly recommend and we'll probably even continue with our gotrick

1110
02:00:16,960 --> 02:00:21,360
and if everyone hasn't watched that yet we have talked about gotrick and felix and we'll probably

1111
02:00:21,360 --> 02:00:27,520
do another episode of that because we are making our way slowly through the entire series uh we do

1112
02:00:27,520 --> 02:00:34,720
have a question of the week i do believe if anyone please tell me you wrote that down no i remember

1113
02:00:34,720 --> 02:00:38,880
it i really want to do this i really want to make fun of sterling more the question of the week but

1114
02:00:38,880 --> 02:00:43,920
i guess we can do the uh the other one today you could do you could change the sterling themed one

1115
02:00:43,920 --> 02:00:50,960
if you wish i do i have the do i have the approval of the council for that uh elie i suppose so all

1116
02:00:50,960 --> 02:00:59,760
right so the uh the question of the week is uh just just hashtag sterland and no no you know what no

1117
02:00:59,760 --> 02:01:07,520
no it's not it's uh it's hashtag nuke and uh maybe not maybe not that all right fine uh

1118
02:01:07,520 --> 02:01:13,840
hashtag sterland fine hashtag sterland how would you obliterate that backwater shithole

1119
02:01:13,840 --> 02:01:22,480
oh my gosh oh it goes off of youtube uh give us your sterling slander please hashtag sterling

1120
02:01:22,480 --> 02:01:29,920
give me sterling slander i want i want i need it i need it please we'll sleep better tonight

1121
02:01:29,920 --> 02:01:34,560
uh without being i am i am i am vlad strongest sterling hater

1122
02:01:36,960 --> 02:01:41,440
with that being said i hope you guys all enjoy this one and you'll be with us very soon hope

1123
02:01:41,440 --> 02:01:47,360
because having he's um having a great night from what we know last donation he says uh keaton sam

1124
02:01:47,360 --> 02:01:52,880
it says what are some good high elf novels tearyden teclist trilogy can't go wrong

1125
02:01:53,680 --> 02:01:58,400
there's a whole ominous that's just called elves i'm pretty sure there is also that i own it but i

1126
02:01:58,400 --> 02:02:03,360
haven't started reading it yet yeah i read like 10 pages of it when i was 14 and i haven't touched

1127
02:02:03,360 --> 02:02:10,000
it since but it'll come back someday it is just called elves so it's it you will not miss what it

1128
02:02:10,000 --> 02:02:18,000
is about keeslov mr mike magnus the red fan who was not a britton bro this guy's changing his name

1129
02:02:18,800 --> 02:02:23,600
like and subscribe before how it says it appreciate it uh with that being said uh thank you guys so

1130
02:02:23,600 --> 02:02:28,080
much all the generous donations tonight you're sending thank you very much really appreciate it

1131
02:02:28,080 --> 02:02:33,120
love you all and we've got some cool stuff we'll talk about this year coming and we'll see you

1132
02:02:33,120 --> 02:02:46,000
guys all pretty soon see you in the next one yeah farewell love you