Intro
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's law crimes!
Wooo!
Hello everybody!
Wooo!
I forgot to leave my merch.
I uh...
Ah...
I'm reppin'...
Oh wait...
A little sticker.
Hang on, I'm stupid.
Hang on.
So, fun fact, you can also get remembrance merch now.
Oh!
Badges.
Very nice.
And... and shiny stickers.
Wooo!
Very nice.
And other things.
But how is everyone...
I'm afraid we don't have Hal today.
Hal is busy being a... a real human being.
So, we... we have no Hal today.
Um...
Oh, there we go.
The man's representing.
There we go.
Nice.
Yes.
Now I'm ready.
Blessed.
I gotta find our stream.
Mm-hmm.
So, today, Eli will be the sole judge alongside you guys in the chat of who wins today's debate.
Um...
Colin, what are we talking about today?
Well, I've sold my soul, uh, in exchange for being silent for the next six years of content
on uh... regarding the Horus heresy.
I have been gifted with uh... a Karl Franz versus the Emperor.
Uh... versus.
I... I... I wanna paraphrase.
You were just like, please, please, please, please, please, let me do this, let me do
this.
We were like, yeah, it's fine, go for it.
There was some... there was some begging involved, I will admit.
I'm not... I'm not too proud to admit there was a... there was some begging.
We would have given it to you anyway.
We're just like, oh, this'll be fun.
But I will say, um... before we record... we started recording, I... we did a coin toss
who was going first, and I gave Colin the choice of an Eldar branded coin, and Colin's
going first.
So, look, take that for what it's will.
I... I've put every... every possible ball in his court to... to give... give us a good...
and to be fair, you've like, thrashed me both times we've debated in the versus.
So, home turf, biggie for me, Karl Franz for you.
Hopefully it will be a... a stirring debate.
Um... but with that in mind, uh... Eli, do you mind doing the timekeeping for us?
Yes, I can.
If I do, I might cheat.
Let me see, five minutes for round one, correct?
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
All right.
I'm ready when you fellas are.
I'm heavily biased, by the way, Andy, so you're gonna have to work real hard on this one.
I'll do my best.
And again, we'll do a... well, I'll do a poll on the, um... on the chat to see what the...
the audience is thinking as well.
But, all right.
I'm ready to go when you are, and Colin will be started anyway, so... whenever you're ready,
Colin.
I am, uh... all right.
You may count down the timer, then, I guess.
Yep.
Uh... three...
Hang on.
All right.
Now, before we start...
He's not ready.
Oh, I am ready.
I was checking my blood sugar a little bit.
Oh.
Let me just... look.
Look, you can see it.
The insulin's going in.
That was it.
All right.
It's done peeping.
No.
P.D.'s.
P.D.'s for the debate.
Bands, bands.
Yeah.
I'm juicing right now.
Insulin beer.
That's awesome.
All right.
All I need, baby.
All right.
Three, two, one, go.
All right.
So, introducing Carl Franz is, you know, seems like, you know, walking up to someone and
going, hey, have you ever heard of this, uh, this Jesus Christ fella?
Uh, but, you know, that's... you know, some people... you know, let's... I'll do what I
have to do.
He's... he's Carl.
He's Carl.
He's Carl Franz.
Prince and Emperor of Reikland.
The, uh, the Emperor of the Empire of Man.
Uh, Elector Count of Reikland.
The Defier of the Dark.
He's got more titles, but, you know, we'll... we'll cut it there.
Uh, he's a real cool dude.
He, uh, he's, you know, as he says in his trailer, he's just a man born into this world
like you and me.
He's, you know, he's a reasonable fella.
He's, uh, you know, I gotta... I'm not just gonna keep repeating, he's Carl Franz.
but just one more time for the sake of it. He's Karl Franz. He's what that most rare
things in both Warhammer and real life. A politician with your best interests at heart.
Doesn't happen very often. With him it does. He didn't even want to be emperor because
he saw what it did to his dad. And if you've ever seen a before and after picture of Obama
from his presidency, it's a little something like that, except the emperor is a kind of
for life thing. A little bit of a stressor. I was like, no, I don't want that. I don't
think I'm worthy. I don't think I can handle it. But he had some convincing by both some
close allies at home and abroad during what she also made friends, you know, which again,
some very rare in Warhammer, someone who doesn't want more war, which, you know, some, some
people in this debate might be kind of tripping at that hurdle, but we'll save any further
shade for later. When he was voted almost unilaterally into becoming the emperor, there's
a short story you can find on the Total War website of all places. The only person who
voted against him turned out to be the changeling. So I'm going to go ahead and say that one
doesn't count. It seems like there's some bias in that vote. Even Middenland voted for
him. Boris Toddbringer. That is, that is some impressive stuff. And since then he's just
gone around and made the Empire a better place to live. He made all sorts of promises to
the different electors that he even said, I felt a little bit bad about them because
I felt like I was playing them, which then, you know, one guy from a cynical point of
view is like, no, that's politics. You got to do what you got to do. If you read what
he was doing, every single person came away from that with a fat dub delivered by Carl
himself. And of course, he's a warrior. This is Warhammer. I would never, you know, we
have to acknowledge that. He's, he's fought greenskin war bosses. He's fought giant spiders,
you know, with goblins. He's fought beastmen, chaos, norskans. He's fought everything on
the planet and come out on top. Sometimes with a bit of help from Sigmar. But you know
what? I'm not here to debate power levels. I'm here to debate that he's, you know, better.
And you know what? He's human. He takes, he's given assistance from his God, which in this
setting is sometimes needed. He does his best because at the end of the day, all he's got
all he has is a hammer in his mouth. By the way, he rides a Griffin, which are cool ever.
So that's already automatically giving him points in his favor. He's just a fantastic
guy all around. Fun fact, he's died, came back, not even in the end time. So I just
mean in old lore, he died, but then they realized we can't kill him. He's too goddamn cool.
So they brought him back. Incidentally, he, you know, again, I'll throw a little bit of
a Karl Franz in that image shows what it's really like to sit on a throne and look cool.
Because even in that old lore, when he was a dying old fuck, he looked cool as hell on
that throne with the fire behind him and Galmar as in his hand. He's a team player. He's a
hero. He was been inhabited by the spirit of Sigmar himself, which is a pretty high
up on the scale of, you know, bad ass feats. He's, he's Karl Franz. He's the prince and
emperor. And you know what? I will end simply by saying he's a, he's a real cool dude. And
you know what? He fights for his people. And I think there's, there's some leaders in Warhammer
that could really learn how to fight for their people, not the ideal version of their people
that will never exist.
Oh, very nice. 40 seconds to spare. Well, I'm convinced. Andy, what do you have to say
for yourself?
Wow. It's a shame. It's a shame that there's so little to talk about Karl Franz. There
was 40 seconds left to go. I mean, what can I say?
Wow. All right, Andy, are you prepared?
Interesting. Okay. Round two is starting the venom early then. Okay.
We got, we got to ignite the fuse at some point. So let's go.
All right. That's fair.
All right, Andy. A three.
Wait, hang on. DJ Beast, I'll do you one better.
What did DJ Beast do?
He's saying do 15 pushups and dive.
Oh, and we'll read Dono's after Andy's round. Just so you guys know.
In between both like the R rounds.
Yeah. In the sections.
All right. I'm ready. I'm ready to go.
A three, a two, a one, go.
Okay. Speaking of, you know, Karl Franz was like the closest thing to Jesus in Warhammer
fantasy. There are allusions in End and the Deathree that Big E was literally Jesus.
We know for a fact he was at least Alexander the Great because the quote, and lo Alexander
saw there were no more worlds to conquer, is attributed directly to the emperor. Big
E was also born a man and he was out of the two, the only one to exceed mortality. You
want to talk about emperors? What about a god emperor, bruh? Karl Franz, second fiddle
to Sigmar, the actual god that people care about. Karl Franz, oh, he's a cool, he's
a pretty chill dude like that dog meme that I hate on Twitter. Second fiddle to the actual
main character of humanity. Literally the Bobby G equivalent to the emperor. Stay in
school, Karl Franz. The adults are talking. Ain't got no psychic powers. Lol, hammer goes
smash. Alliances with Xenos, or in this case, not even Xenos, just like elves, basic bitch
elves with no special like space powers. Like, oh, bruh, you can't conquer your own planet.
You had one planet. You couldn't just conquer it with humans on your own. Nah, you had to
make alliances with elves? Ugh, elves, yuck. Can't do it on your own, can't do it off
your own back. One measly planet. Reikland's got 17 towns. Export is iron and cheese. Holy
Sarah. Export's conquest and badasses. Reikland has, oh, Karl Franz, I've got 17 towns in
Reikland. Ooh, ooh, I've got several different towns. I've got Stirland, Avaland, Wissonland.
What is even Wissonland? That's not a real word. Talabla Clan, Hockland, blah, blah,
blah. Biggie's got a million worlds. He's got a million worlds. And he did it like that
in a few years with a bunch of sons. Hey, I'm not trying to like be puerile or anything.
I'm just saying Biggie, he's got at least 20, 21 sons, one of which might, there might
also be biological sons like Constantin Baldor. Karl Franz ain't got no bitches. Hashtag virgin
of Reikland. Oh, I said it. Karl Franz, he ain't got no girlfriend. He ain't got no
Mrs. What's this guy? Waltzing around with his cape, with his plumed helmet, thinking
he's all that. Bruh, have you ever been to a nightclub? Can you even do the gritty? What's
up with you? I'm just saying, like, who'd even get a girlfriend? Whereas Biggie's like,
oh, my girlfriend, oh, name's Erda. She made me several sons and they conquered the galaxy
on my behalf. And they're like, even just one of them is like more powerful than you
in any conceivable way. And they're all a fragment of who I actually am at my core because
I'm such a badass. Oh, that's a cute little throne you got there. Mine can like make a
projected beacon in space. It can seal portals in the immaterial realm. And it can like,
if you sat on this, I bet you, you wouldn't last two minutes, just like your bedroom life.
I said it. Biggie can last longer than Karl Franz. Not even joking. It's a fact. We all
know. Galmaraz, weak ass sword. Oh, the most powerful thing I have is a hammer that's gold.
Oh, what can it do? It's basically sting from the hobbit. But instead of flashing green
when it hears like goblins and stuff like that, it's just like, oh, chaos. I'm going
to, oh, my spider sense is tingling. Oh, oh, there's some chaos over there. Like my sword
beats up your hammer. My sword, it's on fire, which is cool. And it can banish anything,
not just banish something into the immaterial. It just untethered immaterial like beings
and demons from reality. It like, it control out deletes anything it touches. Just the
sword alone is cooler than anything Karl Franz has ever done. I'm just saying. Biggie's got
better drip, let's be honest. Pure gold, nice big shield thingy. There's those jousting
shields with the big hawk. He's got the big screaming face on his knee that's like, like,
he's got way cooler armor. Don't get me wrong. Karl Franz is a pimp. We all know it. He's
got the colors. He's got the army. He's got the sheen. He shines his boots. He's a pretty
cool guy. But again, stay in school, Karl Franz. Biggie is talking. He'll shut you up
with a thought. He'll shut you up with a blast or a glare. He'll bring you to his knees,
bring you to your knees just by going. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, I'm
got any psychic powers. I guess I'll just sit down because, oh, I'm just a guy. I'm
just a cool guy, bro. Don't worry about me. I'm just Karl Franz. It's fine. I'm just some
guy. Just some guy that doesn't matter. Anyway, that's all.
Wow. All right. Very good. 20 seconds to spare.
Interesting. Interesting. Interesting rebuttal, Mr. Andy.
Should we read some doughnuts before we move on?
Before the blood's over.
Oh, my gosh.
There we go. Bloody Shirt music. Two dollars. Ron Colin losing his shit.
Tom Warren with the two.
The greatest emperor of man versus the worst dad ever.
We ain't here talking about dads. We're here talking about emperoring. That's a different
thing. At least he's got sons.
Just saying.
Donkeyman USA, then you're the five dollars. I have the day off. The new Stormlight book
just dropped. I have a fresh handle of vodka and my rat marines need painting today rules.
It sounds like a good day, my brother.
Being the five dollars with the fantastic.
Fantastic.
With the fantasy cell. When the fantasy cell says something so 40k phobic, you got hit
him with the end time stare.
That's funny.
Two dollars. Shout out to Knife's Cat. To who?
Knife's Cat?
Did somebody kill somebody's cat in the lorises in real life?
Matt Eckert for five dollars. Carl Franz sounds like Carl Franz, which makes him Bretonian.
Checkmate Colin.
I'm going to come to your house and beat you to death.
This is a nice one.
Need the carnics. Just want to thank you guys for bringing so much joy to my life. Been
watching you for a few months. I've loved every video. Wishing you all the best. Love
you too. Thank you very much for that.
Thank you.
What a nice thing.
Love you too. Bless you.
Donkeyman USA, five dollars. Note, everyone who has ever had to work with Big E hates
him. Everyone loves Carl. We ain't talking about who's the nice guy. Hashtag nice guys
on Reddit. We're talking about who's an emperor and does the job properly. Sometimes you need
a boss bitch and the emperor is that.
Elliot Hopps, five dollars. Colin, if you were married to Morathy on the condition that
you had to make videos at the same rate as Auspex Tactics, how long would you be married?
I think I would just have to hire like 50 editors. I got I'm committing.
Auspex is insane.
Oh my God.
He is a hero. Oh, bunny cop. Thank you. The five dollars caught in team meeting. Welcoming
new blood. We'll have to watch the friends win in posts. My life is saying, hey, hey,
shush, shush. None of that bias.
Just because as well. Oh, Tom Warren for the five dollars. Thank you, Tom. Carl Franz has
kids. They haven't really done anything, but that also means they haven't tried to kill
him and ruin the galaxy either.
I'm just I'd rather have nine good boys and nine bad guys that tried to kill me than a
bunch of nepo babies who don't do anything. I'm just saying.
And Gameth draws five dollars. Started reading Echoes of Eternity as my first Warhammer novel.
What a pick. Got to the last part and boy, am I loving it. Is it wrong to love Transactor
so much?
That's an interesting book to start with.
Yeah, because it's like part of the way through HH Sieger Terra.
I need I need to get an idea. You first. Sorry.
I've just been working on my Sieger Terra video for Sunday. You can see the timestamps.
This is how much I spent four days working on it.
Three days of script. Two days to record the audio. And then today I've just been editing
and it's almost done and it's like, man, it's a lot. It's a lot. But it's good. But it's
a lot. It's a lot.
Geez.
Also, bloody shirt music said he literally had steam coming from his ear.
I don't know about that. I don't know if it would come through the headphones.
All right. I do have questions for the two of you.
Colin went first. I'll ask him first. Colin, can you justify the window tax?
Can I just buy the window tax?
He got he's dead. I'll drag on.
I would justify my sales prior to the empire.
Wait, hang on.
You know that you're here. You did a market player. You went, and then you stopped here.
You are here.
Go back now.
Restart. This is Imperium of Man sabotage happening to be right. They know I speak the truth.
I would justify by saying the empire is a very complicated. It's an empire. It's got
a lot of politics going in behind it. And also consider that around the times of the
window tax, Archeon was coming. That was building up. So I say there's two different justifications.
Pick which one you like more. Either there was a whole lot of politicking going on that
Carl Franz did to make that ended up resulting in the window tax. Fun fact, the president
doesn't sign every single bill in the law himself. Similarly, I don't think Carl is
personally writing every law himself. Or the other justification. You ever play Fable 3
and think it's real goddamn stupid that you can't tell your citizens, like, hey, have
one year of taxes so the end of the world doesn't kill everyone. It's that. It's that.
Interesting. Did he know Archeon was coming at that time?
Yeah, that was part of the buildup. I have read Warhammer Fantasy Core rule books. The
whole thing is Archeon's coming. The next great incursion of chaos.
Archeon was there just like, oh, Carl Franz, I'm coming. Oh, no. Push him away. He's weird.
He is the ever chosen of all of chaos. That does include Slaanesh.
He lasts longer than anyone in chaos. Nice.
He's the only person ever talked directly to Slaanesh and not come away possessed.
And horny. He was just like, oh, I thought to Slaanesh, did you get possessed? No, but
God. Oh, no. But I don't know how much that counts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like Fabius is all like, I don't have urges. You're cringe.
He's also just demented. So he's a redditor too.
Yeah, he's a redditor. You're fucking a demon. You fucking nerd.
He's a redditor combined with back in my day, things were better.
Fabius, I don't sleep. All right, Fabius, have your words originals and go away.
No, Bella.
Now, Andy, I know you were saying that the emperor, that he has some ladies in his life.
But can you explain to me why every lady in his life and friend has ever other than the
one friend has left him and hates him and why Erda betrayed him and went behind his
back and scattered his sons throughout the galaxy?
I'm just saying like the man's been alive for what, 30,000 years. He pulls. He's got
the drift. You want to talk about body count. That man is body count personified. Let's
not even be around the bush right now. And you can say, oh, people hate him. It's just
like, hate the people. Don't hate the player. Hate the games. Like, bruh, you want to talk
about like, oh, you got your window taxes. Like you have taxes. Bruh. We just say give
or else. Much more efficient. Don't have to worry about taxes if the refusal to give what
you want is, well, your planet go bye bye. Biggie don't play games. Biggie is, again,
don't hate the player. Hate the game. He's got to be fighting. He's fighting all four
chaos gods at once simultaneously. He's having to defend every domain in the galaxy simultaneously.
Bra has been sat on a throne, saving off hell for 10,000 years. And he's like, I ain't going
crazy. I'm doing a good enough job. I'm basically, you know, my resolve is so strong that I'm
rotting on a throne and I'm in constant pain, like the worst pain imaginable as my physical
form slowly deteriorates. I'm not complaining. I'm doing my job. Yeah. Put Franz on that
throne for five seconds. He cried like a baby. Oh, where's my helmet? Oh, I'm scared. I know
this man is not is not insulting the castle helmet. So I have, I have one more defense
for the window tax. If I may be allowed to speak a little out of turn. If we didn't get
the window tax, then we wouldn't get the best book series in all of Warhammer. So, uh, yeah.
Okay. All right. All right. Felix, if we don't tax the windows, which also means no thankful.
True. Maybe. Well, or think, well, just wins. Okay. Oh, he doesn't. He's thankful. Yeah.
It's true. Interesting answers from the two of you. Uh, we will move on to round two.
All right. That's a three minutes long. Yeah. Yeah. Five, three, then two. Now, are you
ready? Mr. Collin? I am. Okay. A three, a two, a one, a go. So I think I'll just start
with like the very low hanging fruit. I'm currently looking at a picture of Carl Franz's
family, which I would like to note. He made the traditional way as opposed to big E who
had to scientifically and magically create his own kids because he can't get any bitches
because they all left him like Erda who had the thought that, you know, what's better
than letting this guy raise my kids, throwing them into hell. You know, who didn't have
that thought Carl Franz's wife. You know, let's move on from that. Let me just, let
me just break out probably the single greatest win I can ever get in this argument. It's
not fully painted. You can hit the gritty right now, Trapp. He's in prime gritty. You
know what this is? You know what the emperor of mankind doesn't have the Carl Franz does?
An official model that, like I said, not fully painted, but very curious. I can use Carl
Franz in the tabletop. Can't use big E. So he's already infinitely more relevant than
the emperor ever will be because you can use them on the tabletop. You can use this emperor
on the tabletop. How about I address some other stuff. First of all, you said it's an
argument over being the emperor. It's real interesting because one, big E didn't want
to be emperor. It was Malkador who told him to take on, you know, the emperor of mankind
dole mantle. Also didn't want to be a god. How's that working out for you asshole? Nothing
like that level of denial. But how about, let's see what Carl Franz is as emperor. You
know, window tacks, I get a bit of an iffy, but it is something that was decreed by the
emperor. He's worked with the elector counts. He's done all sorts of stuff. What are big
E's act as the emperor? He's done two in like what? The 500 years he was the emperor, however
long the great crusade lasted. He gives rogue traders their edicts, like the writs of trade,
and the council of Nikea. That's 500 years of being an emperor to do two things because
in every other way he hasn't been an emperor. He doesn't lead. He leads armies, but you
don't need to be an emperor to do that. You're just a warlord, which I got to tell you, there
were a whole lot of those in Warhammer. But I also quite like, I'm glad you brought up
a, you know, Carl Franz needing allies and stuff to conquer. Because one, you'll notice
the emperor couldn't even conquer Terra on his own with normal humans. He had to make
the thunder warriors and then the space marines. So the emperor couldn't do it with normal
people either. In fact, he couldn't create an imperium without super soldiers. Carl Franz
defends his empire with normal people, face steel and gunpowder, which curiously the emperor
couldn't quite manage. But going forward, fun thing, you know, he conquered the galaxy.
Great. Well, again, with those 20, 21, 19, 18, nine, whatever number you want to throw
out, depending on which propaganda you're reading, all his kids, which he had to make
scientifically with, you know, BS, whatever. That's great. You rule the galaxy. What happens
then? Oh, nine of your kids betray you.
Your three minutes is up, Mr. Colin. I did not give you a warning. I was too enthralled.
The emperor's fruit, the emperor sure sowed and then he had to reap.
All right, Andy, are you ready for your, for your rebuttal?
Just a second. I'm trying to make notes. Okay. Yes, I'm ready.
Three, two, one, go. Okay. So it shouldn't really need to be said,
but comparing the exploits of Carl Franz to the emperor is like comparing a kid with matches
to a fireworks display. Archeon is a baby as far as chaos champions go. Abba has been fighting
for 10,000 years. He's had 13 black crusades, galaxy spanning, and he's a thorn in the side
of the emperor. If, if Biggie had to fight Archeon, he'd just be like, all right, he's
gone moving on. Carl Franz is like the William Shakespeare of 40K. Everyone loves his works.
No one gives a shit about any of his kids. Do you know any of the kids of Shakespeare?
He had them. Do you know their names? Do you know their deeds? No, because they were irrelevant
because he overshadowed his children's deeds. Whereas Rabute-Gilliman, who might I add Colin
is a big fan of and the ultraman, big fan. You don't have ultraman or Rabute-Gilliman
without Dada, without Biggie himself. Everything you love about Rabute or any of the other
characters in that kind of vein, they're a fragment of the emperor. They're a piece of
him. That's like a little, little, little, little, little, little slice of the big wheel
of cheese that is the emperor. Oh, Parmigiano. Belldente. Throwing your kids into hell is
like the ultimate boarding school. I will not have any bad words said about Erda. It's
a valid strategy to build character for your kids. I'm just saying Lion turned out fine.
Jaggedeye turned out fine. Gilliman turned out fine. Sangunius turned out fine. Ferris
turned out fine. Vulcan turned out fine. It's endless. Angron turned out fine. Don't ask
me. Also, Biggie doesn't have a miniature because if you made a miniature officially
for GW, you'd put him on the board and then your opponent go, oh no, I lost. Like you
wouldn't even have to make a move. You'd just be like, Biggie, oh, it's like putting a level
100 Mewtwo against a level one Bidoof. It wouldn't work. It just doesn't happen. Nothing
would work. Biggie isn't just a warrior. He's a statesman. He's a conqueror. He's a scientist.
He's a diplomat. He's a sorcerer. Every conceivable thing. And we know from the millennia he lived,
it's described he was a sailor. He was a scientist. He was a coward. He was a politician. He was
a warrior. He wore many faces and he projected himself in many different ways so he could
be every type of person. And that's why he was the only person who could say, I know
what to do to preserve humanity because everyone else doesn't have my lived experience. Because
let's face it, 1v1, Franz versus the emperor, irrespective of who could win the fight. Doesn't
matter. Even if Karl Franz won. Emperor's a perpetual baby. He'll get back him and kick
your ass. Doesn't matter if Karl Franz won, which he wouldn't anyway. But even if he did,
it's like, I'm ready for round two. And Karl Franz is like, ugh. And then Biggie is literally
the southwark meme. I ain't hear no bell. And he just come in and beat the shit out
of you. Yeah. I was going to say that I'm probably done with my time. So I'll forfeit
a few seconds.
Okay. Very nice. Very nice.
Engron turned out fine.
That is a crazy thing to say.
He did.
He was fine until he was counted.
The lion turned out fine. Brother is the prime archer.
There's nothing wrong with autism.
There's not. I think I have it.
I'm just saying, lion does what he does best and I love him for it. It's like, yeah, Charles
dance in space. Yes, please. Just saying. Also, I don't appreciate this comment from
Maine saying, why does Andy? That is horrid. You take that back. That is we're having a
debate, not a.
I must admit today for some reason I saw the recent some of the crypto stuff that's been
going on. I was like, we should do like a trailer for our merch being like introducing
law tokens and then be like, only kidding. We're not scumbags. Buy our t shirts instead.
I mean, you've got the you've got the little tokens. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. But no,
just because I'm wearing a turtleneck, it's winter. Leave me alone. I don't look French
D-Day Beast. How dare you? I'm not French. Wow. Wow. Oh, my God. Eli, what's your thoughts?
That was an interesting round. There's a lot of the the it's closer. It's a lot closer
now than it was last round. I'm just going to say that I've been keeping score. Oh, wow.
Should we read out some donors? We'll get to the very well. And it'll be different for
the next round. But any any points that are centered around spite towards the other party
have not contributed any points. I got no points. Oh, no points. No one got any points.
We all lose to me. I will say Andy second round was substantially better than his first
round actually. Brothers said anger on turn. Well, he said some other things that were
all I'm saying, Colin, his demon Primark miniatures pretty base. It is pretty cool. Exactly my
point. He did what he needed to do, which was to be a failure. And at least as being
a failure goes, he was the best actor. And he's going to lose points if he keeps talking.
He does not deserve this. Anyway, donate. OK. All right. Raw 666 donated $10. Why are
you arguing the emperor is not an emperor and screwed it from Briff with his sons and
his poor design. Carl got a damaged empire work to make it better and succeed, which
is more impressive. Is it though? It's just like it's just like, oh, it's like tiny spec
on a planet that it's just one planet. We see Carl Carl Franz in here, folks, think
for the two years or pounds. I never remember which one Carl Carl Franz would have 20 loyal
Primarks. That's pretty true. Yeah. 21 document USA. Thank you for the two Collins window
tax arguments sealed the deal. I gave you three explanations and only one of them was
meta bullshit, but it's good meta bullshit because it's got to get Felix. Nolan Baker
for five CA, I guess, Canadian dollars. Canadian dollars. Canaly, Canada. It's too late for
you, shiny witch king. I've drawn you as the skeletal steel and me as the power stance
hammer holding Chad. We've been period. Glorious. Need document USA thing with the five dollars
and I did not kill them as bullshit. I did. I did kill them. I did not. Oh, hi, Malkadar.
I did impression please. I did impression please. Yes, I did not kill them. It's bullshit.
I did kill them. I did not. Oh, hi, Malkadar. I love the Thunder Warriors. Main event Virgil
shout out. Hello, friend. Think of the five and that one's pounds this time. All right.
Euros. Okay. Oh my gosh. All right. Almost like an E if you squint. The thing about this
rate euros. What is this one? It looks like a comb for your hair. Whereas it has a little
tail. No, the pound looks like an L because we take an L every time we have to order from
games workshop. All right. Well, later, Virgil, thank you for the five. I could have gone
to my work Christmas party, but I'm here instead. Honestly, respectable. I don't know if that
speaks positively of you or more likely negative of me. It depends on where you work, I guess.
Yeah. Well, I'm just going to put it out there. I don't care where you work. This is where
it's at. This is where the cool kids sit. Although my old job, their work party was
Chinese food. So that's pretty hard to pass up. I'm not going to lie.
I used to work as an engineer in a hospital. That was fun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I worked at
a factory. That was a bit more fun. You ever take apart a suction machine that's full of
oil and several people saliva? Oh, gosh. That's fun. All right. I was an engineer in a church,
which on most days was pretty slow and I would usually have some time to myself because there's
only so many times you can mop the pews. On the other hand-
I just want to say mop the pews sounds like a euphemism to me. I don't know why. Probably
because of what they do to the altar boys in the back. But the days I had to clean up
human feces from the bathroom was significantly less fun. That was-
There were many of those at the movie theater as well.
Oh, yeah. I bet. Somehow, the bathrooms when I worked at Dairy Queen, pretty clean at the
Dairy Queen. But the church, the house of God, toilet paper everywhere, sometimes feces
everywhere. I suppose Dairy Queen, there's a monarchics. It's like, hey, the only people
that dine here are kings and queens. It's like, you've got to be respectable. I appreciate
you. Also, if I'm at a Dairy Queen, I'm not going to use the bathroom. Very fair, which
probably contributed to that. Also, Andy, I'm going to be honest. I don't think the
guy who told me to call my coworker a slur because it took him a while to get his food
to come. I do not think that man was a king. I think that man has come unresolved.
He's a Burger King. He's a Burger King.
As a Brit, I just got to ask though, is a Dairy Queen like a milkshake place?
It's mostly like ice cream, shake, stuff like that. If you're this man and you order six
meals when there's a McDonald's across the street, then yes, no, it's not an ice cream
shop. I don't think I count that man as a human being.
Dairy Queen's chicken fingers used to be goated. They were like this big and now they are literally
this big and the same price, but not more expensive. I never buy fast food.
McDonald's is right across the street. If you want food, why are you coming to the Dairy
Queen? Get ice cream. That's what we're here for.
Is it true that White Castle is pretty good?
White Castle is perfect in the scenario that it's two in the morning and you're shit face.
One other thing I've heard of the, I've seen the memes on like social media of White Castle
at 3 a.m. to stay with the binoculars. Looking at what's happening.
It's great all around because you have to stutter out to the person you order after
you're like 12 beers deep, which is quite difficult. But the bright side is whatever
you tell them, whatever food you get, you're just happy to have some White Castles. So
it doesn't matter if your order is correct or not.
Very nice. Maybe we should save the password talk for later though. I will say one thing
though. I'm pretty sure because Dairy Queen's ice cream product is so far off from being
real ice cream, they can't legally call it ice cream, which is why it has other names.
Yeah, that's why it's like flurries and blizzards and stuff. I worked there because I was 16
and I didn't work there because I wanted to join the Dairy Queen family.
Eat my malleable dairy like Greece.
Most least processed American food. Oh my gosh.
Okay, all right. I need to ask you fellas some questions. Actually, we have some more
donations. Why don't you guys read those up? I told the chat to post some questions and
we'll see if they did.
Okay.
Okay. I see you doing it too in the chat. Thanks, Mike.
Gammoth draws with the $2. Thank you. Alterboy, he priest mopped my pew till I pray.
I did start that. Donkeyman USA, thank you for the five again. Oh God, Colin, you worked
at Dairy Queen too? I'm glad you were with my suffering. Worst part of high school in
college for me. I learned just how much of a psychopath I was there. Yeah, you learn
pretty quickly if you can deal with the public or not. You know, some countries have like
mandatory military service. I'm taking this from Mandalore gaming, but there should absolutely
be a one year mandatory retail like spend. Yeah, well, I suppose like you can already
buy guns and jobs. This is like, you already covered that just retail. No, you will treat
people differently if you work in the service industry. I swear to God. Yeah. Especially
if you learn like a certain amount of money. If you're like an FAA baby, it's like if your
parents own this much, you have to work at like Walmart or something similar for at least
a year just to get character. You need to appreciate what the dollar is. Oh, yeah. Oh,
and coming back up here is, um, Carl wins. Thank you for the 15 shekels. Carl wins because
his window tax is the reason got you can Felix medley and got you becoming a true hero even
than in the times of the age of Sigmar.
Thank you. Thank you, Mr. And $20 biased biased biased among us. I read among us exterior
exterior was exterior. I know that our weeds here among us. The emperor has children named
the sensei or sensei. He can get laid. He can. If anybody says anything about his current
state, bring up Collins. Oh, no. Wow. Well, thank you for the $20 for saying that. We
don't know if we can't make that jump. None of you need to know my sexual history. All
I'm saying is that every time I see one of the poppers on the bed, it brings me joy.
So I will not hear a bad word about Collins bed, even if it's on me. It is often the layer
of poppers and they're cute. How dare you for having a go anyway. Ross 6 6 equal to
five. Thank you very much. Emperor. If every Oh God, Eli, I think he's got some questions
for you. Oh, interesting. All right. If everything is to plan, then why put yourself on the throne?
Carl, why do you tolerate Bretonnia? You guys can both answer that. Andy, would you like
to go first since you were up in the order? So if everything is planned, then why put
yourself on the throne? Is that the I believe I believe that was his question. Yeah. Well,
put it this way. No one else can do it. If you go step up to the plate and everyone else
is a bitch ass, you know, weak psycho or don't even have psychic powers. I guess. Here we
go again. I guess I'll do it myself. Ignore that a week. Ignore that Magnus was made to
put on the throne, but Magnus is a nerd. And even even our good friend Al had the writer
for the Thousand Sons books, Graham McNeil, on his show. And he said himself, and I quote,
did Magnus do anything wrong? And Graham said yes. The guy who wrote the Thousand Sons book
said yes. Let's put this to bed. No more comments. Did Magnus do it? Yes. Yes, he did. Crazy.
Who made me pull that up? Pull that up. Let me let me just you know, before I answer that
next one recharge. I'll read it out then. So main main event Virgil five euros. I worked
in customer service. I have my question. And did you son of a bitch? Oh, sorry. Sorry.
We'll still read your, don't know, don't worry. We will. How do we tell how does Carl tolerate
Bertonia? Why does he? Because as much as you know, Bertonia is a vile scum of, you
know, a vile den of scum and villainy and makes Moss Isley look like fucking the Garden
of Eden. Okay. Carl knows that he's allies in the world he lives in, which again, to
my point before, you know, I ran out of time, but because this is a really good question,
I cannot answer again properly here. Carl knows let's say worst case scenario, which
never happened, but let's say it did. And Empire. All right, fuck off. That was games
workshop not to let's say games workshop gave us Empire of man, the Horus heresy, you know,
equivalent. That sucks. Carl has allies to call upon. He can call the Bretonians, he
can call Kislev, he can call Talaiya, Estalia. The Emperor had a, oh, the people already
in his empire to call upon, half of which turned against him. So why does he tolerate
Bertonia? Because even though some of your allies might suck in the world of Warhammer,
you need what you can get. And you know what? I'll give Bertonia their credit. I'm so determined
to win this. I'll give Bertonia some credit. You do not want to be in front of a cavalry
charge they're doing. They may only have one thing. I'll give them credit. They do, they
ride horses real good. Unfortunately, they ride them also in the wrong way. But you know,
we don't need to discuss that too much.
Interesting. That was a good answer. Okay, I'm gonna read Maedevan Virgil's Fiver. Thank
you very much again. I worked in customer service and whenever white American woman
called in, I'd play up the Irish accent. They love that she's, I live here, but I'm Pakistani.
Well, nice. Very fun. I've actually had very few bad experiences in my customer service.
And working for like five years, I worked at the movie theater. I don't think anyone
ever yelled at me.
Most of mine weren't too bad. But it was again, when the guy says, hey, call your coworker
a slur. It's kind of hard for them to take your image of your job.
Oh gosh, Tom Warren, thank you for the two. Maynard does suck. I hope his parents are
ashamed. I think they are. My brother. Morningstar, cool PFP. Thank you for the five dollars.
I only recently watched the Ogres fireside episode. But what I want to ask if you guys
are still doing beginner to expert kids. What does this mean? What's this iceberg vids now?
Yeah, iceberg and beginner to expert are the same thing.
Yeah, it's basically when we moved to live versions of beginner to expert, but it was
like, let's do it in a live format.
It's a rebrand. Yeah, but it's the same thing. It's still us going from easy to deep to middle
all over the place, depending on who's doing it.
Usually torturing Colin by going, hey, we're talking about another great crusade episode.
And then he's like,
Look, I said, I'm not going to open every horse heresy now by complaining about it.
I will still criticize when a stupid thing happens. I think that's fair, but I'm not
going to start with complaining.
And once I've read dark health books, vampire books, I'll fight for a vampires and dark
health beginner to expert iceberg, whatever.
Let's be honest, a lot of the horse heresy just are not good books. Not all of it. Even
I admit.
Like the trouble is some are bad books and some are anthologies. And even when the anthologies
are good, they're like a good like quarter of the books. So when you think about it,
that 54 books realistically becomes like 40 something. You take out the salamanders books
because they are trash.
Like Bertie, there's some great books. And then like even the great books where it's
like, Oh my god, Shadrach Medusen is awesome. Oh, no. And then it's like, oh, no more of
him, I guess. That's a shame.
Look, it's just again, I am sorry. I'm sure he's a nice guy. But when we get to the part
of the horse heresy where Nick Kym is leading the charge, I can't in good conscience say
that.
All I'm saying, I've just done my Siege of Terror script, and there were a couple of
space walls and salamanders and iron hands. None of them made the script because they're
they're literally in the book for a sentence because they're like they're not in void at
that point. Like the the culmination of the series is like two matters, traitors and blood
angels, white scars and imperial fists. A couple of dark angels. Cool.
Well, it also has the issue where the first like five books are written like they're supposed
to be the only books. And then all of a sudden it drags out for 50 more books after half
of the story line is finished in the first five books.
Even like the descent of angels is like a prequel to the horror heresy. So it's not
even based in the horror heresy. It's it's Caliban stuff, you know, huh? And it's very
confusing.
And if you're one of the legions in the first five books, your fall is one book instead
of 10. So it happens drastically and suddenly with poor plot devices looking at you full
room. But you know, it's still a good book still but the layer blade is stupid. Layer
blade is so stupid. Okay, we got like we got to get back on track. So we are so off. Yeah,
I do. I'll ask my own questions. I might ask Colin too, because my questions are bad, because
my empire lords mid and there's 1 million questions I can ask Andy because the Emperor
does kind of suck a lot of the time. But I'll say, sorry, Andy, again, I want you to know
I did not pay him before. There was no favors exchanged. This is this is all him.
Okay, well, call it. First question. Why would I start with? How does Karl Franz solve your
blatant lie broke my camera?
Oh, screw it.
How does Karl Franz address the Middenland problem? Is that the right the right? Marion
Berg, Marion Berg, not middle. Marion Berg. Well, part of the empire.
That was a that was an inherited issue due to a former emperor who was, you know, I'm
not gonna lie resoundingly incompetent. As for him addressing it, diplomatic avenues,
he's not going to charge into Marion Berg, you know, dicks swinging, firing away. He
could, but he knows it's not worth it for a variety of reasons. So diplomatic ties and
trade ties, you'll notice Marion Berg's, you know, ports still flow right into the
empire through the River Reich and you know, over land routes. So he's, he's treating
them as a separate entity. I'm sure you know, there would be motions suddenly put into method,
because Karl is again, he does dirty things if he needs to. If he needs to, I would like
to add, if he sees a route that might get Marion Berg back into the empire, that's
a little bit less than clean. I'd say he might take it. But for the most part, he's just
gonna take the wealth, the trade with Marion Berg Cruz and use it to improve the empire.
You have a previous emperor. What's the point?
Unfortunately, not all of us can, you know, die, but the message doesn't stick because
we can't even die, right?
Sounds like a skill issue to me.
Yeah, I'm a guy who doesn't know how to die and respawn.
All right. Next question. Can you address the allegations that Mr. Karl Franz actually
not part of the Holy Akubian bloodline of the emperors and that that bloodline actually
belongs to Vlad von Karstein and his children?
I think there's no way I can address that allegation without getting lore crimes taken
down. So I'm going to respectfully pass on that one.
Interesting. And lastly, when I play Total War, if I'm the prince and emperor, why doesn't
the Empire respect my authority? Why is everyone so mean to me?
Because if it was lore accurate Karl Franz, the game would be too easy. It would start
with, oh, by the way, the Empire is going to sweep through the entire goddamn planet
now. So it's to give you some challenge and to really make you appreciate that Karl Franz
is putting in hard work to keep the Empire afloat, which he does.
So you're telling me it's not lore accurate? If it was lore accurate, they'd all be my
friend? They'd all respect the authority of Karl Franz?
They would respect the authority. They might not all be your friend because Boris Toddbringer
is a cunt.
Hey, don't talk about Alex Jones like that.
I'm just saying that. What was the company that makes Total War?
Creative Assembly.
So, yeah, that's the one. Creative Assembly basically just said, oh, you know, we can't
make Karl Franz look too cool because, you know, Creative Assembly wouldn't make a Total
War 40k game with the Emperor because they would know not to touch that territory. No,
that's Sacrosanct. That seems like a skill issue to me.
Sacrosanct, yeah.
This character is so meh.
What I'm hearing is if slash when we get Total War 40k, there's a legendary Lord Karl Franz,
but there's not going to be a legendary Lord Emperor of mankind. It's a very interesting
point you bring up, Andy. It's very interesting.
I'm just saying in the confrontation with Horus in the Siege of Terra and the Medea
Free, it's basically stated that the Emperor is cyclical with mankind. Mankind is the Emperor.
The Emperor is mankind. They're like conjoined at the hip. They are one and the same. Karl
Franz is appointed as the ruler of humanity. The Emperor is humanity.
Isn't one of the biggest running themes in the Horus heresy that he's entirely disconnected?
Be quiet, you. Be quiet.
All right. This is when you learn that Colin doesn't read Horus heresy books in full, but
he does read them.
Be quiet, you. Shush.
Andy, that moves to my question. A bit of a harder one, unfortunately, but I'm only
asking you one. Can you address the allegations that the Horus heresy is entirely the Emperor's
fault?
No.
Oh my gosh.
You know what? I can't beat that as an argument.
Chaos is a problem. It's chaos fault.
Okay. Well, then can you address the allegations that the Emperor stole power from the Chaos
Gods to make his children?
Well, it's fine if you steal it for a good reason. I'm just saying, if you're going to
steal something of limitless power, steal it from the guy next door who's really mean.
That's like Robin Hood stuff right there. That's like, hey, this guy, he pees in communal
drinking water places and he hits nuns and he's a really nasty person.
Can you confirm?
He's got bad names on Reddit. Steal from him. Go for it. Why not?
Can you confirm that the Emperor essentially made a deal with Satan to make his children?
No, he didn't make a deal with Satan. He said, oh, Satan, what's that over there? And Satan
went, oh, that's like a really cool amount of power. But if anyone got that, that'd be
really, really like make them hench. And he went, oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
And then when Satan wasn't looking, he nicked it. That's a really cool thing. Bro knows
what he wants and he gets it. And what do you want me to say? He did a good job. He
did a good thing.
All right. Okay.
I propose, Andy, if we'd like to break with tradition a bit, if we could ask each other
a question.
Oh, okay.
Would you, do you have one you'd like to ask me? Cause I do have one for you.
Oh, go for yours. And I'll, I'll think of one as we do say.
So supposedly the Emperor of mankind, the super charismatic fella, you know, he's, you
know, he's supposed, you know, people just instinctively go with them because he's a
God, right? How do you explain that when the Emperor wasn't using his charisma, the single
best argument he could come up with was the differences I know I am right.
Well, the thing was his, his deific persona really didn't coalesce until the end of the
Horus heresy. There's a whole thing about the last three books where it's like, Hey,
Malkadour was like, Oh, wait a minute in our, in our moment of direst need, people are praying
to the Emperor. This is bad, but he's kind of preoccupied fending off all of hell in
the throne room. That's bad. But because people are praying to him, he's now becoming a God
in his own right, even though he doesn't want to, which actually gives credence to the idea
that he was like, Hey, you shouldn't worship me. This is bad. And it's like, yeah. But
even then, despite everything he did, people gone be people. They want to praise when they
praise, they want to say hallelujah. Big Emperor of mankind. And like when people are knocking
down the door, you'll, you'll, you'll go for anything you can get to try and escape the,
the terror of chaos.
I see that as well and good, but that didn't answer my question. It's how do you defend
the fact that when he's not psychically brainwashing people, just listen to him. The best argument
he can come up with as per the last church is dude, trust me. Well, the thing was he
would have gotten away with it too. If it wasn't for that meddling Magnus, it was like,
Hey, Magnus isn't involved yet. Magnus isn't born. I'm just saying before Magnus, he was
about to quarterize chaos from like, he was going to literally cut chaos from humanity
forever and be like, we're going to take the web way. We're going to travel through that.
We're not going to have any problems. We'll have conquered all the galaxy. Like, kind
of like with pharaohs, Spanish was like, I'm going to get rid of all these mechanical
bits because it's cringe in truth. At the end of the day, he would have been like, right
now we can exist in peace. We'll do our job. I was this close and then Magnus had to come
around and do everything wrong as he always does, which is a thing that the brighter confirmed
he did everything wrong all the time. It's not my fault. It's this meddling Cyclops fella.
It's his fault. This is an interesting strategy to blame Magnus for something that happened
before he was born. This is a new meta. Magnus was a primordial cringe lord. Even before
he was born, he was cringe. He transcends cringe to before he was even born. Before
he was a glimmer in the emperor's eye, he was cringe. That's my excuse. I've got to
come out with a question. If you need a moment to cook, I do need to use the bathroom quite
bad because my blood sugar is running high. Go back. Go back. Take all the time to cook
you need because I got a pass. Okay. Okay.
The Kotlin's right. Dota 2 from Mike once again. Dota 2 is going to happen, my brother.
I haven't had time to stream in the last few days, unfortunately. Should we do our minute
of hate? Yeah, let's do the versus. This is our longest versus yet. How's not here?
It's two minutes of hate. Also, Andrew, did you have a question for me or did you want
to move it on?
I'll just go with something simple. Generally speaking, if you were to swap places with
the emperor, with Karl Franz, do you honestly think Karl Franz could have done a better
job with his current state? No psychic powers, no sword that quells demons, just like Karl
Franz as he is in the 41st millennium. You can't put him on the golden throne. He has
no psychic powers. Do you honestly think he could stop the Imperium from dying?
I honestly think he wouldn't make the Imperium as it is. He wouldn't make the galaxy spanning
crumbling empire that has no one to call on because it has no allies because it's all
there is. I think he would take a much more reasonable approach than the emperor did,
which in a rare moment, I will give the emperor some credit. With his limited foresight, he
saw chaos was going to be a problem. He knew the orcs were getting stronger, but I think
Karl Franz would have handled it in a better way. He would have made allies with people
such as the Interrex who had great knowledge on chaos, but it wasn't what the emperor felt
was best. So we had them glass like reach.
Although to be fair, that wasn't the emperor. That was Horus.
Yeah, that's fair. But it's with the emperor's policy. Horus wanted to talk to the Interrex.
If I remember correctly, even Syngwinius, who's the poster boy of good boy Primarch,
was like, you want to talk to them? But they're bad guys because dad said so. Whereas Karl
Franz wouldn't put those policies into place. Any of the more pleasant xenos or other human
factions of the great crusade would be around to offer aid and technology and help in their
own ways. Whereas the emperor has the Imperium, and I will give him his credit. It's a galaxy-wide
Imperium. But when it cracked in half, he had no one to turn to because all of his allies
left and so did half his kids. I do think Karl would at least, he wouldn't make as big
as an empire. I'll say that. I think he would make a better one.
That's a good answer. I don't know. I don't know how his diplomacy would go with the Tyranids.
Oh yeah, so mad at me. Although if we're gonna split hairs like that, he's got 10,000 years
before he has to worry about those.
He'd probably be better at making friends to fight against the Tyranids.
I don't know, Necrons. I feel like Necrons just would be like, get away from me.
I think if the Necrons made friends with Dante, they'd make friends with the prince and emperor.
That's true. Okay, are we ready for our two minutes of hate?
Andy, would you like to switch places or am I still going first?
I'd like to keep to tradition.
Okay, in that case.
But to help, I will show my cringy frozen face.
It's still stuck.
Andy, it is still stuck on the same freeze frame from last time.
I'm aware, but I'm gonna use this to help you.
That's fair. All right. Let me raise a glass. This is not water. This is gonna hurt.
It's warm now.
Oh, God. Tito sucks.
This guy's alcohol-maxxing right now.
I need to get ready. And Eli, I do hope you forgive me. I will prove to you I'm doing
it. A timer of my own.
Wow.
Is that quite okay? As you can see, it's down two minutes. Andy, do I have your consent
for this as well?
Yes.
Okay.
Interesting.
So, are you aware that we're talking about Carl fucking Franz? You know what you're talking
about?
Oh, I'm the Emperor Mankind. I got a fucking sword. You know what says a sword? Every loser
in fucking history. Oh, I got a sword. I'm Charlemagne. Oh, I'm fucking T.D. Everyone,
I have a sword because I'm an original. Carl has a hammer because he's fucking awesome.
He's got a griffin, which Biggie didn't have. What's Biggie's mount? Oh, it's a battleship.
Oh, good. You know who else has a battleship mount? Everyone in 40K. You aren't special.
That's not special.
Where did religion start after me? That you didn't want and you're a shit god. Biggie's
a god. Carl's just a man. Carl's just a man, which is the most fundamental part of why
he's a cool guy. And the Biggie's a shit god, but he's an even shitter human being. Big
Imperium. Oh, good. You got a big Imperium. Half of it broke apart. It stuck around for
10,000 years and it's been shit ever since the foundations of the Great Crusade. You
know what hasn't been? The Empire of Man because it's grown. It was barbarians. It's turned
into the Renaissance and the Industrial Revolution. Would you go, oh, this is impressive. It's
a fantasy world. It's a growing civilization. It has grown and prospered. You know what
hasn't? Biggie's shithole of an Imperium, which sucks in every measurable regard except
winning the gold medal of racism. Congratulations. Carl Franz is a fucking hero. He was not a
hero of the Biggie. Constantine Daldor, every time he kills someone, he hears tyrant flash
in his mind. You know what happens when Carl Franz and his soldiers fight? They fight for
their freedom and their empire and humanity and their allies. Because if the dwarfs like
Carl Franz, then you can go to hell. And if you don't think the dwarfs would not like
the emperor, he'd have a whole fucking separate great book of grudges to himself because he
sucks. It is Franz who wins.
Holy frick. He did it. He did it. Great timing as well.
This is a momentous day. Clip that. Clip that. Somebody clip that. This is the biggest day
of war crimes ever. We got Colin Gritty. We got Colin Gritty for Carl Franz. Holy frick.
Oh my. Recording after this is going did not be pleasant.
Glorious. Glorious. Glorious two minutes, Sir Colin. Good work. Good work. That was
very good. Andrew, are you prepared? I am. A little disadvantage because we can't see
your face. Yeah. All right. Whenever you're ready. Ready. All right. Three, two, one.
Cute. Okay. Let's go down to brass tacks. So Carl Franz, you say, oh, well, he made
a little civilization in his own spare time with pocket money and change. The emperor
did that a hundred times over. The man's lived for over 30,000 years. Everything Carl Franz
has done, he's done tenfold, if not a thousandfold. Carl Franz, oh, I united the species. Let's
not forget. The emperor was there during the golden age of humanity. Everything, when we
were collaborating and working with other species because the Imperium worked with other
species for a time, the emperor did. Carl Franz is playing off the emperor's rule book.
He's just not gotten to the later chapters. Man has no credibility. Yes, he's a nice guy.
Yes, he's cool. But the emperor used to be a nice guy. The emperor even said, I'm not
even going to be involved in war or conflict because I want to see what this species can
do without me. And it all went to hell without him. And then he went, right. I've got to
do this myself. The emperor is more powerful. The emperor has a bigger empire. The emperor
has a bigger schlong. We all know it. He has better drip. He has way more blades and deeds
under his name. If the emperor was in the place of Carl Franz, just bare smoke, the
guy would end the end times before they even ended it. He would have been like, that chaos
guy, bam, he's gone. That chaos guy. Colin, when has Carl Franz ever humbled a chaos god?
Never. God emperor stole power from them. He also damaged Nergal recently by inhabiting
his son as an avatar. Bro burned Nergal's garden and he also told Korn that he's a bitch.
The big E is the big E for a reason. There's a reason we don't call him big Carl or big
Franz because he's small. He's a little itty butt. It's a little bitty guy. It's a bitty
emperor. Oh, you're an emperor. Oh, that's pretty bold term for a guy who's barely got
like a bit of landmass. Emperor is a star spanning empire. You're a little bitch, Carl
Franz. You're cool, but you ain't no big E. Arms up, Mr. Andy. Very nice. Okay. Very nice.
All right. I think I've asked you both enough questions. So let me tally my points right
now. I would like before you tally your points just to call out Thankwall. I don't damage
my followers. I goon them. That was all. Thankwall eat Andy's liver. I'm Colin's top guy. I'm
glad you're happy, chat. We got the gritty. All right. So I got... Just imagining Thankwall
doing a Silence of the Lamley. Remember it was liver with some father beams. Some shanty.
With a nice kiyanshi. We should start calling him Big Franz. What's your opinion on this,
Colin? Should we call him Big Franz? He's Big K. Special K. Special K. Oh, gosh. He's
got a serial named after him. As seen on Reader's Digest, Big Franz. Can we get the poll up
for the chat? Oh, good point. I have my... I forgot because I am not very clever. Oh,
no, you cannot get that. There we go. Poll is up. So vote who you thought was better
over. I will refrain from voting. You know what, Andy? Let's just each vote for ourselves
so we can see the poll. That's a good point. Oh, I can see it. There we go. Oh, no. Oh,
gosh. Guys, what the hell? Give me a vote. Why? Why have you done this? Honestly, I think
this all comes down to literally, it doesn't matter how many arguments I make. It's just
like, I think he's a nice guy. Doesn't matter. Screaming, screaming and gritty. More like
summon the electric C words. You know what I mean? Oh, gosh. Sorry, Andy. I don't know.
My Emperor could beat up your Emperor. I'm going to... That's fine. Andy's losing the
same way he lost to Beelzebub. I'm a gracious loser. How dare you? It's not fair. My camera
broke during stream and there are a bunch of Alpha Legion sleeper agents in the chat.
It's not fair. Oh, my gosh. All right. Well, now that you're not doing a war on terror,
you're not doing a war on terror. Why don't we read out the couple last donations and
then I'll say what the scores are tallied over. Okay. Nolan Baker for five Canadian
dollars. Do Bretonians have sphincter issues on account of the horses? Okay. It's pretty
hard on the team. I don't want to answer that question. I don't like thinking about that.
Blessed B Big E says, Albas. Yes. Blessed B indeed. Raw, you're a cheat. You want to
read this one? Yes. Thank you for the $20, Mr. Raw. Carl, why is the Empire... Oh, okay.
Why is the Empire always on the defensive rather than offensive? Emperor, how can you
justify losing half the Imperium to chaos within 14 years during Horus Heresy? Yeah.
When it took chaos 6,000 years to take one planet in fantasy. That's a pretty good question.
Well, here's the thing. Think about force multipliers. One world besieged by whatever
land mass is contained by each threat. If you have a million worlds and half of them
become traitor, that's a force multiplier. It's not just like, oh, there's a bunch of
people across the river shooting you with muskets. We're being attacked by air, by land.
There's resources. There's trade routes. There's oogly-boogly powers from chaos. There's all
sorts of stuff going on there. That's like crazy bad. There's so much stuff. Andy's conveniently
forgetting that the same demons exist in both settings. Yeah, yeah, but a demon army isn't
space bound. There's no verticality. You can use a trebuchet or you can use a boat, a ship,
but there's no orbital bombardment. There's no... I'm an artist. There's no warp rifts
consuming entire planets. The scale of Warhammer 40k is so big. So like... There's no warp
rifts. I've played Warhammer fantasy role play, Andy. They still got warp rifts. Do
not be an old lady in front of... Where's Werther's Originals? Oh, we're talking about
original. Which one came first? 40k or fantasy? I was saying Werther's Originals. They're
sweet in the UK. Old people eat. I can't put the rage back in the bottle. It's a filling
of corn's favorite soldier. Finny, thank you for the 499. All right, Colleen. All of Eldar's
psychic nonsense can be summed up to do, trust me, bro. Maybe if Eldred talked to Kahn instead
of Ferris. Pretty true. I bet the Kahn will listen to that.
I can answer that very simple question. If Eldred was smart and written smartly, we wouldn't
have a Horus heresy. Same for everyone in the heresy. If they were smart, we wouldn't
have 40k. If there's no lairblade, we'd have no freaking Horus heresy at all. One million
plot. I must admit, I've been so tempted to order Eli a lairblade body. Hello? This is
a meme. He puts it in the corners like, I hate this.
Okay. Bean. Bean for $5. I bring a two bodies in one grave by to the halo ring that the
refrain doesn't relate. Two corpses in one grave.
Thank you for that halo reference. I'll give you a 2 dollars. Thank you, Colleen. Who in
all of Warhammer gets the glory hammer? None of them do. Only Angus McFife gets the glory
hammer. That's right. That's right. What is the glory hammer? Angus McFife is a hero in
this house. What's the glory hammer? It's a band. It's a power metal band. They sing
about their D&D. I'm pretty sure. There's no like, cause the only thing is when I see
glory hammer, I think like, ugh, like a glory? No, it's not like that. You are disgracing
the band. It's their sci-fi fantasy D&D sessions. They're crazy songs and videos. Their songs
it's off-brand 40 days. But I mean that in every complimentary way.
Dante. Dante, thank you for CLP. Thank you very much. I love you guys. No homo. We love
you too, Berta. We love you too. No homo. Maybe a little. Maybe a little. 5%, 10%. Have
you seen what Thankful says? Donkeyman USA. Thankful the 5. Colleen and I both doing vodka
shots. Base, base, base, base, base. Very nice.
I had to power up and I'm glad you were with me like the spirit bomb. Wait, wait, hold
on. Colleen was using performance enhancing drugs. That's not fair. That's what we call
that. Certainly for entertainment. You know what? You do have me on that one. Morningstar,
I will happily read this one out. Carl wins cause he has natural charisma. Ems needs psychic
charisma to make people give him what he wants. One has Riz, the other fakes it. It's truth.
It's truth. All right. I know what I'm beat. All right. Well, the total points, Colleen
has total of 18 points and Andy with a total of 14 points. So that is that. Unfortunately,
these five minutes, a lot of his five minutes was spent talking negatively about the opponent
instead of talking positively about the emperor of mankind. So he lost a lot of points in
the first round, but he got them back in the third round where Colleen only got one point
by showing off his model and then the rest of his points were just making fun of the
emperor. So they didn't count for much. But then the round of hate people got most a lot
of their points. I'm just going to put it out there. Colleen
won cause he did the gritty on camera. I just tallied up the points, whatever you guys
had good points. Truthfully. I was just doing my job. I was just following orders, said
Eli. I think Colleen got like four or five points
for the last thing. If I took off two of those, he was still a one to be fair. I think your
first round was the toughest one cause Colleen got a lot of points in round one.
I still maintain that if you were to switch the two over, not talking about their morals,
not talking about just capabilities, I think it would be a wipe. Like generally just the
emperor is such a, he's difficult to defend in terms of his personality. But as far as
power, if you were to do be like, if you were to do on those kind of cringe shorts on YouTube
was just like so and so versus so and so. Power, one. Constitution, one. It's like emperor
would be like win, win, win, win, win. Charisma loses and they'd be win, win, win, win. Cause
he's just kind of like, he's just like, he's just powerful. That's his whole thing. That's
his shtick.
You did lose a point Andy because you didn't have a rebuttal for the horse hairs you question.
I had to take off a point for that.
Why? I rebutted.
You said no.
Yeah, it was a valid. I will refer to you William Shakespeare, brevity is the soul of
wit.
Also, you didn't have a, you didn't really answer my first question about Erda either,
so I couldn't give you a point for that one.
Also, to quote Albert Einstein, a man who can't explain something simply doesn't know what
he's talking about. So I thought I'll do it in one word. There you go.
Well it was still a good fight. It was not that far off. It was still pretty close.
It was fun. It was fun. I knew, the thing is before we even started, I knew people would
be like against the emperor because he's essentially a bad emperor.
He's hard to justify and he is a bad emperor in the end.
Yeah.
I don't remember who it was. I've heard before mentioned like the emperor does not do much
emperin as it were.
To be fair, could you imagine how much paperwork there is to govern a million worlds? That's
a lot.
I can't imagine it because the admit astronomy exists and it's a nightmare.
Yeah, that's true. But the emperor just doesn't do anything after Ullinor. He just goes and
works on the web web but doesn't actually tell anybody about it and then his projects
destroyed because he didn't tell anybody about it.
Well the idea is that again, it's like if anyone knew about it, they'd be tempted by
chaos and to be fair to the emperor, the minute Erebus got whiff of the chaos gods, he became
corrupted. The minute Lorgar did, he became corrupted.
The minute that even Magnus trying to-
Lorgar is the emperor's fault though.
Yeah, but even like even Magnus who's trying to do the right thing, even Magnus who's trying
to do the right thing plays into chaos's hands and that's the kind of idea of like, even
when you try to do the right thing, you still mess it up and he messed things up more than
anyone.
But if the emperor told Magnus that would happen if he talks to the weird guys in the
war, after knowing that Magnus talks to the weird things in the war-
Well, he did tell one of his sons, he told Corax.
That leaves out the other 21 of them.
Yeah, but again, Corax is the only one. He's cringe, he's emo, he'll be fine. If he likes
hot topics, he'll just like some more bad pizza.
You'd think he would tell the guy who is like one with the warp about what's inside of the
warp, the thing that he's playing with all the time and studying.
I'm just saying-
Even the white scars kind of knew about chaos. They were just like, oh, this is weird. They're
like, don't trust it, it's weird. They're like, okay.
It's weird.
I'm just saying, the average empire state trooper knows all about chaos and their responses.
Pull up, fucko, it's time to fight.
Yep. Ironically, religious devotion is what wards against chaos the best, I would argue.
In the words of Victor Saltspire, bless it, Shikma.
If the emperor let Lohgar worship him as a god and do his word-bear things, I think they
could have probably avoided a lot of the horse hairs.
That's how it turned out in the end anyways.
I'm just saying the iconoclasts as they were known then were burning books. I don't know.
I think the word-bearers were kind of messed up from the start.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not like the emperor didn't get rid of every religious information ever.
I'm going to throw a controversial statement out there. I think all of the augmented child
soldiers were a bit messed up from the start.
I think all of them.
Jagatai and Vulcan are precious boys.
Yeah, but Jagatai didn't even like the emperor. He knew he was bad. He knew he was wrong.
That's why he's my favorite Primarch. He was just like, he looks around, sees a billion
Astartes. He goes, well, I don't really want my whole civilization to die. I guess I'll
comply.
He basically went to St. Guineas. He's like, do you actually believe this crap? And St.
Guineas was like, yeah, not really. But you know, it's what we tell our people.
I'm not even an angel mate. And he's like, yeah, I know. They were good mates.
Same with Russ. He knew plenty of the truths. He didn't believe it. But he was still a loyal
guy, to be fair.
Shifty Uncle Malkador telling him all the secrets.
That's why Jagatai is great because he's realizing, yeah, the emperor is kind of whack, but you
know what's more whack? Hell.
There was more whack not being able to ride and have a beer. Crazy.
I miss him. He's out there getting chicks in the Jukari land.
He's got a bunch of girlfriends.
He's a harlequin.
He's hanging with the harlequins. He's hanging with the harlequins going, this is whack. And
they're like, yeah, it's like, oh, what's the time? End times? Oh, off I go.
The random down draws happening, apparently. So there's literally the end times.
The Phoenix Lords have come back on.
Except for Corandras, because we hate Corandras, apparently.
Real question from Bean.
Oh, I saw.
Between the two, that's a jawline.
Allow me to put this image of his family in the general lore crimes chat. Behold the brick
jaw.
I got a weird comment the other day.
That is a blunt weapon.
Oh my god. He looks...
Quite the image.
His face looks like it's made of putty. What is going on there?
Just dancing. I know we don't understand that.
You see it's a metaphor for how he molds the empire of man like clay in his hands.
All I'm saying is I did a post on my channel about the merch, and I had me in a t-shirt
giving a thumbs up, and I had a comment like, man has the jawline of Pertorabo. I didn't
know how to feel.
I don't know.
About half insult, half praise, and I was uncertain.
I don't freak with me.
Sigmar's jawline could be a warline.
Very true.
I feel like it would have been more sense to do Sigmar versus the emperor. But I mean,
Karl Franz is an emperor.
I feel like Sigmar would do worse because Sigmar is a bit more generic. He's like a
bar bearing. He's like Talos from Elder Scrolls.
Twenty-second.
No, there would be 21.
Yeah.
Various Omega.
Yeah.
I know Sigmar's a bit more like, oh, he's a bad man.
He wants to kill Colin. He wants to fight him so bad. Colin got that Pertorabo hairline.
Yes, that's mean.
Thoughts on Karl getting ganged up in the Omens of Destruction trailer.
I refer to the Watchmen scene where Rorschach isn't locked in there with them. He's there
locked in there with them.
What is this?
Oh, it's the newest Total War DLC trailer.
It opens with...
It's a drink war.
Sorry.
It opens with, I think it's Gorfang Rotgut, the Skulltaker, and the ogre whose name I
can't say on YouTube.
Interesting.
Gorf Man-Eater. I can't finish Gorf. I can't finish that name.
Just call him Golgag.
I do love Skulltaker. I love that guy.
I'll call him Golg. His name is Golg.
Golgag. There you go. He gags on the Golg.
There we go.
Done.
Gorf is from a Reggie video. That's not... It's Golg.
And Donkeyman USA for five buckaroos.
Speaking forehead. I also got that Bricky style forehead. I also have voluminous, glorious
auburn hair.
Wow.
Lovely.
Very nice.
I like Bricky for not liking BattleTech.
Why doesn't he like BattleTech?
I don't know. It was one of the AdRick streams. He just said he's not into it.
I remember playing MechaSalt and MechaSalt 2 and then I didn't play for ages and then
I played five and went, oh, it's still going. Wow.
I think it's technically a different game than Mech5, but it's still called Mech5. It's
like how ODST is Halo 3 ODST.
My real life friend is actually the tech guy for one of the BattleTech MMOs.
Oh, shit. Really?
Like you call and you get a ticket number and he fixes your game or whatever for you.
The ticket number.
Tech warrior.
There you go.
Do you want to read that?
I'm going to take the $20. That's my emperor right there. I have come here amidst working
on college work. I should probably finish the man. The emperor may God curse his name,
boiling in liquid shit for all eternity is at best how he's written a moron. Sigmar is
base. Wow. This guy hates the emperor.
I don't get it. Why do all these people hate this tyrannical demagogue?
I don't get it. It doesn't work.
He was cooler in old lore when there weren't a hundred horse air sea books of him being
awful.
But he was a well-meaning tyrant. And also I'm going to say it before they Reddit atheismed
him because old lore there was no imperial truth. I'll even, you know what? I swear I'm
pulling something that's actually relevant.
A lot of old, at least when I was a kid, people would always say that the emperor did a lot
of Jesus things. I don't know where that's from, but people would say that all the time.
May I read the first three sentences of the old warhammer book openings?
It is the 41st millennium. For more than a hundred centuries, the emperor has set a
mobile on the golden throne of earth. He is the master of mankind by the will of the gods
and master of a million worlds by the might of his inexhaustible armies. And I want to
go down that timeline.
I want to see the imperial pantheon.
I miss the old warhammer lore. I miss it. Take the Primarchs away. I don't want to see them
anymore.
New stuff does give us stuff like Istvan, though. Istvan 3 is cool.
Can we make Caiaphas Cain the first god of goofers?
He has to be an imperial saint so we can never be free of Jinnah.
That's what I mean. We need an imperial saint of being stoic and boring, and we make that
Sigismund. And then we go, imperial saint of being a goofy goober is Caiaphas Cain.
And then imperial saint of granddads is Sebastian Yarik. There you go. Done.
Except everyone thinks Caiaphas Cain is the saint of being stuffy and boring.
I just like the idea that living saint Sebastian Yarik would just shout, get off my lawn! And
that's his entire character arc.
Thankwall is asking Colin for a kissy.
No. You're not getting that. Andy gave you some.
Tell your wife you love her, bro. I tell her every day. Don't worry.
Shaz is getting weird. Shall we call it a wrap?
Colin, can I get a fighty?
I would have never let this episode go past 45 minutes.
All right. Well, thanks everyone for joining us.
Thank you very much for tuning in.
That was a resounding 3-0 to me. I've never won a verse because I'm mad at this.
My throat hurts.
But to be fair, I think it was a good laugh anyway. And yeah.
I hope you guys all enjoyed this episode. We'll be back next week. Next week, Eli is
going to be off, but Hau will be back. And we'll catch you all on the next stream.
Bye, everybody.
Have a pleasant night, evening, whatever it is. See you later, everyone.
Bye.