Music
Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Lore Crimes!
We're all united once again because we've got Eli with us.
Our bouncing baby boy! We love Eli!
How was your honeymoon buddy?
It was wonderful. I know I said China number one, but after he said my statement and lose some social credit, Japan is now number one.
Oh no, okay, yikes.
I did see DJ Beats in the comments, or he said the slander is locked in and ready.
The entire time I was streaming Space Marine before this, it was just Colin slander.
It wasn't even there. I joined at the end just for fun because your friend told me like, yeah, by the way, they're obliterating you. I'm not even here.
Today's topic though is not one before TK, but today is a bit of a fun one though. This is my favorite topic. My absolute favorite topic of Warhammer fantasy, the old world. I hate that it's the old world.
Today is vampire counts. This is one of the coolest, without a doubt, one of the coolest things, other than Skaven, perhaps one of the coolest things in Warhammer fantasy. Yes, the bed is made. Colin has been bullied into making his bed.
I'm super excited about this one though, because I mostly figured, I sort of learned about Warhammer from pretty much Warhammer fantasy's like introduction to like vampire counts. This is very full circle for me.
Eli though, Eli is prepared as a little lore tasting slash primer for Warhammer vampire count. If someone hears me as a 40k fan and they're not like that familiar, it's vampires. There's not really much more to say than that, but it's done in a much cooler way and a lot of other things.
It's not Twilight. Thank God. But Eli, will you please lead the way? Light the torch.
Andy, can you put me in full screen? Can you do that? Is that a thing?
I think so.
Yeah, but how do I change? Hold on, I've got an idea. If I just remove...
Oh, there you go. Okay. I gotta take my headphones off for a second.
Alright.
Oh my God, that's amazing.
The audio listeners out there, Eli is dressed like a vampire.
I wanted to start with an excerpt from one of my favorite stories for the vampires.
So I'm gonna read this little excerpt of my two favorite vampire characters.
I'm gonna read this little excerpt of my favorite vampire characters.
Oh, no.
I grimmaced. I knew it was something like that. No, I persisted stupidly. I meant, why did you call me Bella?
He seemed confused. Do you prefer Isabelle? No, I like Bella. I said, I mean, Carly, I mean, my dad must call me Isabella behind my back.
That's right. Everyone here seems to know me as I try to explain feeling like an utter moron. Oh, he looked away awkwardly.
I love Twilight. I love Twilight.
You took your headphones off. So I was one hell of an intro. It was muted the whole time, by the way.
By the way, we also got a donation from CrimsonGlory for $99.99.
Also, I missed that past couple of livestreams. I'm sorry to hear why I should like bloodsuckers along with bloodspillers.
Thank you so much. Thank you, brother.
I can't get over you with the teeth.
We need to dress up for Halloween. We have to dress up for Halloween.
I'm not sure if the music had the setup to a joke. How do you tell the difference between a croc and a gator?
I used to know this.
I used to know BGN, the vampire outcast, blood is replaced by raw eggs.
Eli is dressed like a vampire himself, full makeup, and he's also got vampire teeth in, and he just read the next set of Twilight.
You're telling me the book has worse dialogue?
I was pretty happy that I had gone all of my life not seeing a single or reading a single thing from Twilight.
To be fair, my old flat, the pub next door across the road, they had a bunch of books. I remember one time I went in and had a pint, and in the books they had Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey, so I read a passage of each and went, it's not for me.
Good.
Fifty Shades is raw, like Grandfick as well.
Exactly.
You didn't say Brett, you said Britonia.
Steven's not my favorite faction.
Thank you DJ Beast.
Love the decaying corpse in the top.
Oh my gosh.
Tom Warren with the five, Eli's dress is a vampire body, which is trying out a new look.
Honestly, to be honest, I'd love to see Eli go to the gym dressed like that, see what happens.
My wife says this is making me look baldier.
Of the camera angles, yeah I know honey.
The having to hold.
Before we get into the vampire count's lore, do we have a shout out to who helped put the costume together?
Yes, my wife, she's, let me see.
Hello wife.
Say hello.
He's waving.
That just reminds me of Toy Story.
Oh he's holding up Buzz's second hand, you see it waving.
Parker Summerlin, thank you for the $9.99. Which leader would you rather follow into battle?
Captain America, Rob, Booty, Gurleyman, or Optimus Prime?
Optimus Prime.
PS Eli, how much do I have to pay you to talk with a vampiric accent for the whole stream?
Not very much, I would do that for a dono.
I would try at least.
Peter Collin, Optimus Prime, I'm ready to fight Megatron myself.
Steven has a strong spirit.
I would say Cap.
I gotta go with Cap because he's a good egg.
Optimus Prime.
Look, Cap's a good egg.
Optimus Prime is a good egg but I don't really know Optimus, he's like an associate, I don't really know him.
Alright, I'll follow you.
Collin could tell me to do anything, I'm pretty sure.
Big shout out to Michael Bay, Optimus Prime, executing Surrender.
You're actually evil.
No, Optimus.
Bop.
I'm just thinking of the whole, I'm about to come.
How much for Dracula Flow recitation?
A fair bit.
I'm gonna go for a rare egg.
I got eggs, oh actually I don't have any eggs right now, I'm sorry bros, I just realized there's no eggs.
He's a blood egg of a...
I don't like getting blood solid.
I feel overstimulated by everything that just went on right now.
That was a lot.
Yeah, there's a lot going on.
We could get into the vampires.
Alright, I have read my army book, I'm not an expert on the vampires, because I'm not an expert on fantasy,
but I've summarized the history of the vampires to the current date.
Yeah, angry homunculus, Ile looking like he'll massacre the entire human race if anything happens to his wife.
Correct.
I need Dracula Flow lore crimes, don't we all?
Alright, I can start reading.
It is a script this time, because like I said, I'm not an expert, so forgive me.
But anyways.
Just to start, vampires in fantasy are a little different than regular vampires,
because you can actually kill them way easier than normal vampires, but...
If you hit them hard enough, it will do them in.
But they still are really hard to kill just because they're super strong.
They can be mortally wounded and are often taken out of action,
but a lot of the times they come back and when their strength is strong,
the fell minions and undead will kind of conglomerate around them and be attracted like a beacon.
Yeah, that's just to start off.
So, beginning of the vampires starts with Nagash.
Nagash would originally lose to the priest kings of Nehacara,
and later Niforada would find his book and become the first vampire, along with her followers.
Yes, I skipped all of Nagash lore, Collin can talk about it in a second.
Then these vampires would also lose to the priest kings, then flee to Nagesh's Czar.
And using these damned creatures as his new generals,
Nagash would fight a decade-long war with the priest kings, but lose again
by a great general known as Al-Qaeda Czar, something like that.
He would curse the vampires that failed him and later be slain by that general.
And the vampires would flee all across the world to begin the rulership of undead kingdoms.
That's the ancient history of the vampires.
If Collin wants to add something, he certainly can.
Just a little bit about Nagash.
So, how that came about was, you know, Nagash,
I'm not going to go into the whole thing about Nagash, we've talked about him before.
But, you know, he invented necromancy, put all he learned into these nine books,
the nine books of Nagash. He wasn't the best at naming, but, you know, they were good enough.
Such is the power of Nagash.
And he, you know, he enchanted them.
So I don't think they can be destroyed and else but a little bit of him in them as well.
So no one but him can get the like the full use out of them.
But they're still incredibly powerful, potent, magical artifacts.
So when Nagash was defeated the first time,
he, his black pyramid was still standing and those books were in there.
Q, this woman named Neferada, who went, was in charge of watching Arkan,
but she was a little bit of a, a little bit of a bad egg.
And she went into the pyramid, stole Nagash's research notes,
and with a little bit of help from Arkan, I believe,
used it to create the elixir of then eternal life and became a vampire.
Didn't have all the weaknesses yet, but they had like, you know, the super strength,
you got to drink blood to survive, like they were, they were like classic vampires.
They hadn't been quite, you know, war hammerified or vampire the masquerade-ified.
I thought it was slightly imperfect.
That's why it's not quite as good as Nagash's one because
it's kind of a knockoff.
That's why like the only Nagash can get the full thing out of it.
Like Neferada, you know, learned how to make vampires,
but you know, you still got to drink blood to survive and all that stuff.
The Sombra doesn't kill them yet though.
Yeah, I think the drinking blood was the main defect of Neferada doing it.
Right.
That reminds me of the off-brand, you know, legs like crisps.
There's one that's off-brand, one that's just called legs.
Good blood.
I'll be edgy and call him Goonfoot.
Oh my gosh.
It's that cool thing.
Ridiculous things about me.
TJP's called you Goonfoot for edging your own horse.
Goonfoot.
That's Bilbo Maggaz.
This is the skin of a killer villain.
I love Twilight.
So after that, Neferada makes the... shut up.
I'm going to get Covenant Dance back.
After that, Neferada makes a couple more people into vampires, the original ones,
you know, Abarash, Ushiran, little known fella who...
I'm going to be real, I just completely forgot his original name, Vlad von Karstein.
I just do not remember his OG name when he was a vashanash.
Thank you, Hal. Vashanash.
Completely left my mind.
Don't worry about it.
Thank you.
But, so these fellas are all about now.
Nagash comes back, forcibly conscripts them to be his generals.
The whole thing with Nagash and the Tomb Kings arising, dying, and then resurrecting comes back.
And then, a bit later on, Nagash comes back again, gets the vampires as his generals once more,
but they weren't as good as he wanted them to be.
And I guess to his credit, this was a somewhat reasonable criticism for once on his part,
because a lot of them fled from his final battle with Sigmar.
So in turn, he cursed them whatever random stupid weakness he just came to his mind.
Now, Sunlight is a big no-no.
Sigmar's holy power weakens them.
All the bloodline weaknesses have come about from whatever random garbage Nagash decided to curse them with.
In fact, I do not think there was a single thing, as far as why give this bloodline that weak Nagash?
Because fuck him.
And that's kind of how the vampires turned into their modern incarnation.
So I'll pass it to Eli. Hal, what are you taking over now?
Yeah, sorry.
I'm just going to do the brief.
I'm just going to put some wax up in the chat right now.
I etched a World War II video in colour.
Oh my god.
Let me go through a little bit more and then we can read some donations.
So going to the vampire counts now.
It starts with Vlad, but firstly, it's in Sylvania.
Sylvania is perhaps the most famous of all the vampire lands.
It lies on the eastern fridges of Stirland, and normal humans do actually live there.
These peasants live in constant fear, however, and take great pains to ward against the evils of the night.
In the shadows, the vampires and undead creatures lurk, and across the empire, this land is known as a true place of evil.
The Stirland tax collectors are supposed to be a fearless bunch, yet they even come in groups of 50 strong to collect the taxes, wearing amulets of Sigmar and more.
The Von Karsteins were defeated long ago, but many still speak of these beings saying that they are abiding their time to wage war on the living once again.
The beginning of the vampire rule came when Otto Von Drac lay on his deathbed.
He despised Sylvania's nobility as they despised him, and he denied all of them his daughter Isabella's hand in marriage.
In his final days, he swore he would marry his daughter to a demon before choosing any of them.
And while this oath may have been more drama at the time, he would be brought to keep it.
As a mysterious man entered the castle, handsome by the way, striding into Otto's room without issue, these handsome noblemen bore Cole's dead eyes,
and the Count perhaps regretted his oath, but nonetheless he gave his blessing to marry Isabella.
The Count died pretty much the moment the ceremony was done.
Vlad's first act would be to toss Isabella's uncle Leopold out of the highest window of the castle, as he had been vying for her hand in marriage for a long time,
and had always been denied by the brother who hated him.
Vlad was an odd but actually good ruler. He never ate in the servants' presence, he never went outside, and he sent away the priests of Sigmar.
The castle's servants were slowly replaced with hooded figures, and strange visitors would often enter the castle.
Despite this, he was a fair and just Count, who was far less oppressive than Otto, so people didn't mind too much.
He was also seen as a very mighty king, because when Bernhof the butcher and his veteran mercenaries rode his town demanding tribute,
Vlad killed the entire group of them while his bodyguards watched.
Over the span of ten years, the nobles of Silania would eventually bend to the knee of Vlad, and those who didn't were overrun by undead or killed in strange accidents.
During this time, Vlad also turned Isabella, who had come down with an incurable disease, saving his wife as he bestowed upon her the blood kiss.
Which is how you turn into a vampire.
I did play a halfling in a Warhammer fantasy roleplay campaign, and I beamed an old lady in the head with a rock and killed her and sent her to the castle.
I did play a halfling in a Warhammer fantasy roleplay campaign, and I beamed an old lady in the head with a rock and killed her and sent her to the realm of chaos immediately.
So horrible was the death toll though that it was impossible to run down the retreating Sylvanians, and in the times to come the other claimants to the throne would turn against Ludwig, fearing that his popularity would give him a chance of becoming emperor.
So the lords of Sylvania recuperated and began to rise in power once more. For 40 years the five claimants to Sylvanian's throne squabbled and fought, three were slain, one, Manfred, disappeared, and this left the last, my sweet baby boy, Conrad the animal, von Karstein.
Conrad is absolutely insane. The craziest guy in Warhammer probably.
I named Conrad as insane, who could have seen this one coming?
They really did copy and paste a little bit, didn't they though?
A little bit, but this guy's actually a lunatic. He once ordered every crossbowman in the land to use every cat in the land as target practice. At least two times he put entire peasant towns to the torch because they smelled bad. And lastly, he accused his mother of the crime of giving birth to him without his consent. And after finding her guilty, had her bricked up in a tower as an entombed alive.
And that was that.
Are they like adopted children?
Yeah, they're not actual children, but these were all the nobles given the blood kiss by Vlad, so they counted themselves as the bloodline.
I imagine, say, like Space Marines and Primarchs, like Gilman did not give birth to 250,000 ultramarines. I don't know why I said Gilman gave birth. That would not be how that works.
Someone draw that. Someone get on that.
Now draw him giving birth. Someone get that Vegeta picture.
Oh gosh.
But they all say, yeah, the Primarchs are father. It's kind of like that. This is how I've imagined it.
Also, I think Conrad did a lot of that stuff before he was actually a vampire. So he was like literally insane before he was a vampire.
Yeah. Could I actually perhaps a good time to mention? I'll just say, did they make Conrad, did Vlad turn Conrad into a vampire just because it was funny? Like, he's like, this guy is hilarious.
The thing about vampirism is that it doesn't change your personality, but it amplifies it. So if you're already a little bit crazy, you're going to go insane.
Conrad was already insane. So yeah, he started falling out even harder.
Conrad did have one big flaw other than insanity is that his brain wasn't really big enough for magic.
So he had to enslave and bribe necromancers to work for him so that he could actually have armies of his own.
But doing this, he became a strong word. Yeah.
But him not having skill in necromancy pretty much saves all of order.
But anyways, with these necromancers and his army, he would wage incredibly brutal war against the Empire, eventually finding the Knights of Blood Keep.
Along with these Knights, Conrad the beast found victory after victory with use of raw power and brute force.
Truthfully, he was a terrible commander and not very smart at all, but so insanely ferocious was he and great were his knights that this often didn't matter.
He was just OP enough to blunder his way to victory and just kill enough people.
He slaughtered Averiland's forces and even defeated the dwarfs of Zufbar, leading the charge that won the day.
So incredibly evil, insane, and vicious was Conrad that the three claimants to the Imperial throne at the time set aside their squabbling and banded together to face this threat.
Around this time, Helmut was the likely Emperor to be, but he had been cursed by Conrad's necromancer in a rare case of good planning by the mad count.
Helmut began acting strange and once his eye fell out and his skin was peeling away, they discovered that he was actually a zombie.
The zombie Emperor would flee and Conrad in a fit of anger being found out slaughtered his way through Averiland.
In 2021, whatever year that means in fantasy, I don't remember the term.
Damn, they had COVID as well.
Yeah, it was Conrad.
In that year though, the dwarves and Empire allied with each other to face the butcher.
Sadly, as the lines met, Conrad's army crumbled as the necromancers had betrayed him and fled.
He did all he could but was eventually captured by the dwarf hero Gruffbar and slain by Elector Count Helmar, who was somebody's son.
Love that name.
Was he the Elector Count of the previous Emperor?
Yeah, the last guy that Conrad killed was his son.
And did he even go madder? Because when the undead magic was unraveling, he tried to then take over and it literally broke his mind.
My poor baby boy.
But lastly in the bloodline and most recently is Manfred von Karstein, who is commonly seen as the Arabist of Warhammer fantasy because of the End Times and he is truly irredeemably evil.
He is also just a slimy person.
He's a slimy bastard.
He's very bald.
Alright, well let's settle down now.
I'm just saying, if we're bald you're a villain in Warhammer. That's all I'm saying.
Oh man, so before Conrad I will read, I think there's two donations.
I'd say between us three, me, Colin, and Eli, there must be enough forehead to actually make a bald man.
The Crimson Gully thing is a five dollars. Sorry to sidetrack but Colin, do you want that UNSC ration pack?
What does this mean?
Jimmy has one?
Is that a thing?
We do appreciate that, Cory.
Yeah.
I love Colin thinks about it.
Yeah, okay.
Raw 66, thank you.
I won't say no.
Vampires lose, is due to corpses, need to be relatively intact for great use and they seem to lack intelligence to use advanced tools.
Therefore artillery, yeah artillery.
Actually though, Manfred at one point does siege something with artillery.
It doesn't really work out, unfortunately, but they do.
Just to let you know, if you saw me on my phone and things, I just ordered my costume for the the Law Crimes Halloween stream.
I did look at ODST and then it was like, you've got to get like the armor parts separately and I'm like, I want it.
Yeah, they got to be assembled.
I've got something else. I got something else.
But I think you're lying.
We got mine coming in. I am democracy's strongest soldier.
Nice.
Can we strip pub quiz? No, thank you. No, we cannot.
I don't think I can be my hairy nuts.
Oh my god.
I don't want to embarrass anyone with my enormous Sigmarian schlong.
Commander's mighty schlong or whatever it is.
Of Cygnus Prime, yes.
We have smashing badger, thank you for the two pounds or euros.
Vlad's only mistake was manless.
Yeah, so true.
Bean, thank you for the two dollars.
Can Colin cover up that 4.5?
4.5 head.
Oh my god.
What does it mean?
It's four head.
Oh, gosh.
Elliot Hoffs, thank you for the ten dollars.
My friends have been doing a 40k narrative and one's custom chapter was nearly killed by the Eldar, but they teleported onto the craft world and planted a vortex grenade in the Infinity Circus.
My gosh, to escape.
They lose.
When he says, hey, you're gonna kill Salesh sounds cringe.
You can say that many words.
They asked him, are you really going to stop us from killing a chaos god?
Yes, yes, because it's cringe.
Yeah, reminded the forehead joke, the bro like bro remembers what happens tomorrow.
Here's, I, I am provisional because here's, here's a story from my youth.
There was a time I went to the corner shop.
But when I were eight years old, I went to the corner shop and my mom was like, hey, you can have a Mars bar.
And I said, I don't want a Mars bar on a king size Mars bar. And she said no, you get the Mars bar, you don't get any Mars bar and I went.
King size or nothing. So I respect Artemis, because he stood on his principles.
The size of the Mars bars twice size, but it is now as well.
Back when Fredo bars were literally 10 pence rather than an end a bit, which they are now, which is bullshit.
To be fair, the death watch job isn't to kill chaos, it's to kill Zenos killing so much of the great nice job. Yeah, but he could have been not stupid.
He could have just helped save humanity right there.
Now he was just like, if going to kill Slaanesh, we're doing it on our terms of a bolter. I respect that.
Yeah, geez, I do have the script for Dracula flow right here.
Just saying. Oh, man. Okay, I'm going to get back to Warhammer. So let's see.
While Conrad waged his blood crusade, Manfred hid himself away in study, returning to Castle Dragunov with newfound knowledge in a dark tome.
They say he was awake when Felix stole the von Karstein ring and spent long years searching for the thief.
For a time, Manfred led the foolish mortals believe the power of Sylvania had withered away and was gone forever.
He roamed the land, recruiting vampires all over the world to his cause. As the Empire fell into another civil war, he struck.
Through the winter, he marched, finding countless victories as the battered armies of the Empire hastily attempted a feeble means of defense.
All who fled simply froze to death. Manfred arrived at a seemingly undefended Alstorff, but one man stood at the top of the battlements that would weave his defeat.
Grand theologist Kurt III had delved deep within the vaults of his temple to bring about the horrible Liber Mortis, where he recited the incantations of unbinding and Manfred was forced to retreat.
He then sailed to Marienburg and attempted a siege, but hearing news of an army arriving from Alstorff, he was forced to lift it.
For a long time, Manfred and the Empire's armies fought throughout the provinces, both powers waxing and waning until finally the forces of order set foot in Sylvania.
In this great battle, Manfred was cut down by electric counters of Stirland, but his body sunk deep into the marsh and was never found.
In 2522, Manfred came back. He again traveled far and wide gaining allies and even studied in Lamia, the birthplace of his kind.
He sought to bring about a new age with the resurrection of Nagash. It would take much to bring him to the physical world, however, for his soul now resided as basically a god.
He would first seek out Krell and Heinrich, the two goats of vampire war and fantasy.
The High Elves at this time were on a diplomatic mission and they had sent Aliathra out to ally with the dwarves.
Within Kaerazay-Korak, this alliance was formed, but they were beset on three sides by orcs, Manfred, Krell, and Heinrich.
As the orc army smashed upon the dwarves and elves and saw losses on both sides, Manfred sprung his trap.
The armies of undeath emerged and the forces of good were surrounded.
The lions were destroyed, Krell waded into combat with his black axe as cavalry trampled dwarves and reached the inner lines of elven swordmasters.
Bats plucked out the eyes of archers and the black axe embedded itself into Thane Orgrim.
Finally, the witchmaster began chanting and the fallen dwarves rose to their feet.
The elven noble and her guard saw a weak spot in the undead lions and charged through to seek escape.
Manfred finally revealed himself and swooped down on top of a zombie dragon amongst the terra-geists to intercept them.
He battled in aerial combat against elf prince Yuluthian.
Kemmler imbued the terra-geists with an unnatural speed and they shot towards the elven princess.
She incinerated one but was knocked unconscious by another and taken away.
As Manfred battled the prince, he was on the losing foot until the terra-geists soared overhead and dropped the corpse of Salinea Proud like a bomb onto the prince,
knocking him from the saddle as Manfred slew the griffon the elf rode upon, Heinrich resurrecting it before the corpse even hit the ground.
This was the most important and first step in the plan to bring back Nagash as they needed a pure innocent soul to sacrifice.
And thus concludes the brief history of the vampire counts and now I'll let Colin and Hal talk about whatever they desire.
Or recite Dracula for your choice.
There's a few characters we are gonna have a little dive in.
We did mention, well some of the big ones, just lifts them off.
There is, this is mostly vampire counts but we should mention a little bit.
There's like another faction in Tuttle, Warhammer called Vampire Coast.
Yeah, the actual, the true-
Where's Luther Harkon guy in the chat by the way?
Haven't seen him in a while.
Hey where's the explorer?
I remember.
I have a comment from DJB as well about Colin's junk exploding.
Oh no.
Vampire might be the coolest thing ever.
Vampire, we could start with Vampire Coast, maybe Colin, just a little bit.
Before we get into that, should we do the donations quickly?
Yeah, sure.
So we had HMHLive saying, poor head related, didn't Irvin Welsh write about a guy waking up with someone's swimmers on his forehead?
What?
Does anyone know what that meant?
Sperm.
I'm assuming that means sperm.
Context, yeah but like does anyone know what the exact-
No, not at all.
Oh no, I have no-
I know nothing about this.
All law, the official law crime statement is, we cannot confirm nor deny that statement.
We think it's kind of funny, but we don't know if it's true or not.
Also, Bean for $5, hit him with my Mitsubishi Outlander, call him Manfred von Carsteyn.
Very funny.
That's pretty good.
HMHLive, again saying, Andy, Michael Phelps fit evaluation for, is that Michael Phelps?
Gosh, I barely know who that man is.
He swims, he does the breaststroke.
He's got the most Olympic medals out of anyone ever.
For swimming.
That's pretty impressive.
That's impressive.
There's like 30 swimming medals.
The law does half the work.
Andy could do better.
No, I'm asthmatic, I would not do better, but I'm just like, swimming.
It's not like relay, relay running, at least then you don't have to walk out.
How many Olympic medals have you got, Andy?
How many Olympic medals have you got?
I got zero.
But I will tell you this, I will tell you this.
Do you know what the Channel Island of Guernsey won in, but not this Olympics, but the last
one, do you know what they got gold in?
Shooting?
What?
Dressage.
What?
Dancing horses, we won gold.
Dancing horses?
That's a thing?
Yeah.
I want to start a rant about why, listen, if there are horses in the Olympics, why is
there not like, crufts, like the dog stuff?
All I'm saying is, if I were in charge of the Olympics, I'd be like, if you can have
dressage with horses, I want to do dressage with a bear.
And if I eat, if my bear eats the competition, I win.
I've also got the DJ Beast Twilight areas in the chat.
There's a good video.
Also, Tom Warren says, everyone loves vampir, vampirates.
Vampirates are cool.
And Raw666, with necromancy being a thing, why factions do not burn corpses and why people
wear skulls and skeletons?
Also, why trust the elder who fired first?
Elder had his people attack Empyrean world.
This man is insane, what are you on about?
That is factually wrong.
Another example of Artemis.
Lorgarn burned down a craft world.
No, I'm just saying like, follow the example of Artemis.
I could end all your species woes, but I'm not going to because that's cringe.
And for the corpse thing, they have priests of more who generally defend the dead than
graveyards, I think.
Also, Bunny Cop for $5 says, you're complaining about Twilight.
Meanwhile, I was reading Dresden files and his world with free vampire courts at that
time. Get good bros.
Like the Chief, like the strongest wizard of ancient times is even named Heinrich Kämler,
like the guy's a big programmer fan.
Isn't there a TV show called the Dresden files?
And it was about a magician in the chat.
Sallymandit, Sallymandit in the chat.
Holy frick.
My favorite Instagram account.
Truth nuke.
Stupid.
Wrong.
I can't even read that.
I can't even put it on the screen because we'll get.
Oh my gosh, we can't say that.
We cannot say that.
Reverse gender Twilight, reverse gender Twilight.
Yeah, Twilight was reverse gender.
Every guy in the world would understand it.
So, Fanko said, how things.
We don't need to.
How things phone number was.
There we go.
Speaking of some mean calling a touch on here, which is a vampire coast.
There's a certain man named.
Well, is it.
Yeah.
Not here.
Luther.
Come on.
The other one.
I said, give me a little bit on my heart.
I'm sorry.
Luther Harkon was in fact, one of the original boys that was in.
Nehe Kara with.
Her.
You know, Queen Queen B of vampires, I should say with Neferata.
And I believe he was.
Were you a cousin of another character as well?
Because he was a merchant.
I think, yeah.
They're like, they.
I think the way it happened was like,
they gave two people the same name or something.
And then they like, we're like,
I'm sorry, but I'm not sure that I have a name for that character.
So I think that he was, he was in the.
Oh, the undead city for a while.
And then when eventually it all came down, it was all burned ashes.
He's one of the few people who managed to sort of escape on the other.
Some of the vampires got slaughtered.
But.
He's on the future escape.
And a lot of his Laura's of mysterious until the point in which he was
essentially.
Locked within this coffin.
And then he was.
He was on a merchant ship.
And then he was.
I guess.
Are they pirates or they just.
So he was on a.
His coffin was on a merchant ship.
Which was then attacked and raided by Norse skins.
Who stole everything on it.
Including his coffin. And then he woke up and killed them all.
And then.
Sort of crash landed in lustria, which is basically the,
what you can see on.
So screen.
Of the audio listeners is a sort of basically South America.
But his dinosaur land completely run by the lizardman.
And essentially.
He was taught to build a power base from resurrecting all the corpses.
Of.
You know, drown sailors or.
Basically fleets that they were attacked. They would overtake.
Pirate vessels and ships and have an undead cruise.
And Harkin would essentially.
Build a power base.
And then the other ones would be the vampires or other like.
Say men would eventually become power hungry.
Looking after lustrean gold.
Cause this.
Very famous for lustre having lots of treasures and old world slash
old relics.
Also old one relics and old one gold.
And eventually this would put up a fashion called essentially is a loose
conglomeration called the vampire coast.
And then there's also a lot of other.
The other ones in the original law books.
Then there's also one like count noctilus, who is a.
An actual.
One who claims to be a descendant from the Von Karstein bloodline as
well.
So there are other different vampires that sort of get completely like.
Undead like underworld the slash.
Water pirated up. It's really cool fashion to play.
Warhammer.
And.
Essentially.
The story sort of.
I guess.
You forgot his full name.
Was it.
Luther.
Harkon.
Arch grand.
Commodore.
Admiral pirate.
King of the vampire coast and emperor of lustrea.
Because of all them titles.
No, he deserves it.
Fuck you.
The dude was pretty power hungry.
And obviously most vampires.
Extreme ambition.
But this ended up having sort of a.
Backfiring when he tried to interact with some old world magic slash old world
devices that he's in when the cut scenes for total war hammer as well.
They represent this moment.
Where essentially it sort of shatters his entire brain and mind.
To the point where like he now had like multiple personalities.
He can't interact with magic.
If I remember correctly, his magic is.
He can still resurrect the dead, but aside from that, he's basically been turned into a blank.
Like magic stops around him.
He's even he's like Conrad.
But he's a little bit more mad in the sense that.
Or they call him.
I just took a raid.
He was like a rape raving beast maniac, murderous sociopath, psychopath, whatever.
But Luther is a bit more.
Like there's more than one guy knocking around in that brain at the moment.
So he's an interesting character.
I his visuals to a T.
Bit gorgeous.
Love that guy.
I don't think there's any other characters.
There's what's the.
The one who's in Sartosa.
And it's not really a vampire, though.
I'm not really sure what her lore is.
I don't know if she's somewhat vampire adjacent.
West by Manon, I believe.
Yeah, I can't.
We're really had donations in the pit brothers.
But there's also some.
There are places like like Sartosa, which is almost basically like its own version of what was sort of the Caribbean towards.
Yeah, Tortuga like cities where other vampires interact with and the underworld.
Various places around this old world itself and far beyond it.
But there's like, yeah, mostly like the actual proper on not, I guess, on screens, the way I want to put it, but like the open secret factions of vampires are the ones that are in the empire, which is Sylvania.
And then sort of the rumored vampire coast on the edge of lustria.
I will go into a little bit now.
There are some characters we should mention.
I don't know if Colin might fill in a gap here, but it's obviously there was flat on carstein big boy who I've got a little bit of law to go into.
We talked about Manfred a bit as well as Conrad, my beloved.
There's some small ones about the other Von Carstein's, which actually Conrad ended up killing.
So they don't really have names.
Manfred did a little bit of a rampant team killing to make sure he got to the end of the game.
To make sure he could become the head of the Von Carstein like dynasty.
Manfred also cleaned house as well.
Isabella Von Carstein, who I is basically wrapped up with flat stories.
I will expand a bit on her.
If this other one who's the leader, there's one I keep getting confused with Luther Harkon.
He's a leader of the blood knights as well.
That Luft. No, Luft Huron is my god.
He's actually from 40k.
That's the space.
I get confused in the two.
But there's also like blood knights, which is a really cool thing.
I'll leave Conrad to go into that because that's pretty damn.
That's one of the coolest things in the fantasy.
But just leaving on the character that I want to expand on just a little bit more, which is Vlade von Carstein, who kind of even though Manfred von Carstein is the one you'll mostly interact with in terms of like games and stuff like that.
Vlad is definitely probably one of the more cooler characters, even though he's not necessarily in as many novels or other things.
But his name was not originally Vlad von Carstein, as Eli talked about earlier.
This man is old.
He comes from the old land of Nehe Karab, which like the ancient sort of basically real world equivalent of like the Egyptian kingdom in the Warhammer world.
This is way before the formation of the Empire.
Long, long thousands of years.
This is after the death of the actual best human being to ever exist, which is set for the imperishable.
Absolutely.
You know, cetera does not serve cetera rules.
Absolutely goes hard.
So cool character.
If anyone here is only somewhat familiar with longer fantasy, but they like like 40k.
I don't there's no equivalent to like how cool cetera is in.
There's no there's no equivalent to such unfortunately.
But so Nagash will eventually join the gas.
But sorry, Vavon Karsan was not born Vlad von Karstein.
His name was Vashinesh and he was somewhat like a lower sort of regular middling noble within the lands of Nehe Karab.
This is sort of Bronze Age time, I guess, in some technological aspect.
So that messing the comments, I'll be diabolical.
I can see but so Vashinesh was just essentially one of the servants of the Nehe Karan kingdoms.
Not really much, but he was ambitious and he would eventually come to contact with the kingdoms of Neferaka at a certain time because there have been sort of rumors about something going wrong with that place.
And there's been somewhat of a rebellion from the other kingdoms.
And for reference, Neferata's kingdom was sort of on the far east of what the map is for Nehe Karo.
So they're kind of on the outskirts and they weren't really more like a you know what's going on over there in that weird province.
And he would come into contact with the old kingdoms and sort of the Neferatan vampire style.
I'm afraid to look at the chat right now because I'm here.
They got some fun. Leave Colin alone!
For the audio listeners, the chat has just been making Colin jokes for 10 minutes straight.
Why does my diet get it? I'm not even 250 pounds. I'm not 200 pounds.
Colin's slender is unreal.
They're just like raining it on the diabetic thing, that's all.
You know, I admit I got a little bit more than I need, but I'm not.
Leave my son alone or I will come get you.
I'll put you in the naughty corner. All of you in the chat. Naughty. No more.
Do we go back to you at least donating to bully me?
You want to bully me? Pay me.
So Vashinesh was a talented military commander and there's some discrepancy in the lore here.
If Neferata, when she met Vashinesh, either she saw him as a good potential husband
or he was simply just a good general to utilize in her army or essentially just a vassal to the public husband.
You know, because again, they're pretty somewhat, you know, this is Nef. This is old Neher Kara, basically the men lead at this point.
That's what they believe. So she was very much using him as a puppet.
Again, there's a discrepancy in lore to whether she actually married Vashinesh or somewhat just turned him into a vampire.
There's conflicting things about it. I don't know, Colin, if you know which one is the official count,
because unfortunately there's a conflict between the two different.
The newer one was that he was part of her guard, right?
I think so. He ended up betraying the kingdoms of Neher Kara to side with her because he was a bit power hungry.
And she would eventually agree to turn him into a vampire. That's the sort of, again, this is like his ancient ancient lore.
This is a young Egyptian brother here. So he's pretty, you know, my man's got decisions to make.
Eventually, at this time, there will be again one of the many rise of Nagash, which we talked about earlier, not to go into the full war.
But essentially, Nagash would discover the existence of the vampires and he would then make the vampires.
I can't even read the comments. He would ally the or he would massive air corps ally the vampires to him.
But he actually chose for a leader, the vampires, instead of the first vampire being on her name, Neferata,
so it's changeable. Neferata, so choosing Neferata, which she thought she rightly deserved.
He actually chose Vashinesh. And this was I do believe this was because Vashinesh was actually a descendant of Nagash for when Nagash was immortal.
So he sort of favored him. Also, he was a bloke. So he sort of was like, yeah, I will just have you instead of Neferata.
She didn't take too kindly to that. And he gave him something.
It's not the way you said that. Like, he was just a bloke. He was just a geezer. He was a geezer.
He hadn't been around like he hadn't been around for a little while.
Meanwhile, like the other vampires have been like, you know, someone else, you know, I mean, it's like the guy who's the new employee becoming the boss.
And you're like, not being funny, Mr. In your 20s. You've only been around for a little while.
Yeah. That's the old man in the chat.
That's not that much of a difference between us.
But essentially, he would Nagash, all powerful necromancer would eventually gift Vashinesh with what would later become named the Von Karstein ring, which is something that Eli had mentioned earlier.
It's one of the ring pieces that will come up again.
And this essentially gave him like true immortality. I think Colin mentioned the beginning like the vampires and more of a fantasy and not holy like you can you can bonk these guys. They can go down.
They like they don't age and like they're immune to sickness and all that stuff. So they're like biologically immortal.
But if you get a big enough stick.
Yeah, they they'll go down. But essentially, this ring would allow
Vashinesh to control the vampires like a sort of hive mind. It was and after a while it was working. They were essentially fighting against the kingdoms of Nehekhara.
But Vashinesh just realized like service under Nagash is almost not worth it. So he allowed himself to purposely get killed by Al-Kadizar, who was the sort of Nehekhara and king.
Again, this is so much lore to go into there. Check out our old Toon Kings episode if you ever need some context for that.
But essentially, he would allow himself to purposely be killed. And then essentially this would temporarily break the connection of the Von Kar-Sign ring controlling the vampires.
And then essentially, as I mentioned earlier, they scattered. And then because of this, there was other times when you know Nagash again because the vampires keep scattering here to eventually curse them.
So Vashinesh would leave again, he would run, leave the lands of Nehekhara. And for many, many years, he would travel the essentially the world just raining for artifacts, adventures, hanging out with the boys on the weekend.
You know, I mean, and eventually he would pop up to the Lislo province of Sylvania. I think Eli mentioned a little bit earlier, you know, he shows up handsome, handsome bastard and then he goes in and says, you know, he does it with 100 baby, 100 bottles of baby oil.
And then Otto's little pimp has 100 bottles of baby oil. And he would turn up and say, I'll marry your daughter. And then she mentioned at the time that just expand a little bit on when he met Isabella Von Kar-Sign.
She's a little cray cray herself like they people often thought she was a bit of a stray like when suitors would come to offer to marry Otto Von Drax daughter Isabella they thought she's a bit of a nutcase she broke some people's arms, just because she very much wanted to be a ruler herself.
And then you know the greedy uncle in the corners of waiting for Otto to die so you can take over and take Isabella for himself.
She would ask who will this man who now called himself Vlad Von Kar-Sign instead of Vashonesh, he would ask her what he could get her as a gift and she basically said, I want that and so he ran over to the uncle and then ripped his heart out I gave it to her.
She, she'd like she held it in her hands, I believe for a bit, and then dropped on the floor. And as a human side licking the blood and then kissed him and he thought, man this girl is nuts.
As someone who doesn't know the context was he also like, I'm into it, or was he like disgusting. Oh yeah he was, he's very much like this person is not a vampire but they are. Someone's wrong with them in a good sense.
Colin milk in the chat.
Yeah, they've been saying that like that's been the new thing. It's all thank wills fault thank you.
Well, essentially, Vlad would turn up and he would be in the province of you know the do me miss Phil province of Sylvania that's already a massive show. And as I mentioned earlier he somewhat turned it around.
At a certain point, he fell in love with Isabella. And to the point where when she kind of worked out what he was because again, the dude just didn't age and she was aging. He, she asked, will you turn me into a undead so we can spend time together
and she initially refused if I believe Colin correctly, she refused because she, he didn't want her to live the mortal. He didn't want to turn her into a man.
He didn't want her to suffer the way like he just living in a more you have to be built for an immortal existence, because otherwise it's just pain. So he didn't want her for that she didn't take that well.
It's somewhat implied that she made herself ill, so that eventually, when no doctors or priests of sigma that he called in you know this one time to try and save her they failed he literally locked himself in the room and then eventually she reawakened as an undead.
So when you receive the blood kiss if I remember correctly you have to then go quick because they essentially is a taking a portion of the vampire who's turning you their blood, depending on how much you take is how powerful you can be as a vampire.
When Isabella that she's a bit of a, she took too much, and then they also have to go out on their first hunt for a human blood, but eventually she ended up snacking on a dire wolf find them a credit was it.
She like her and he said like he literally looked at when that's weird. Like he said like this is not good.
I don't want to read out some donations I feel like it's been yeah sure there's some dive I can I just do this because I most of the time.
Where do I put them on the and he's and he's got it on the screen that Colin. Oh, perfect.
Donkeyman USA to buck the Dracula flow now.
Come on.
I got a second.
He wants to lose that's like, if he lost that he would be a grain of sand, come on, like, negative 75.
Thank you.
I just insert Colin slender here I there we go. That's all you needed sample text. Yeah.
Okay, so tackles one then yep. Thank you all for the donation.
I mean, I, I did some of the things we can't even say it's ridiculous.
Where was I get from guys so essentially, Isabella, like 3000 all that dire wolf juice, and it was bad so she was a bit something's quite wrong with her in terms like she's extra vampire in terms of like she really has like some kind of even more like flans like a refined being who, as I said earlier he was like kind of a good good ruler, in the sense that he didn't lash out or they wasn't mad like Conrad.
Whereas Isabella definitely is a little bit something she her love for Vlad encompasses the level of like, it's creepy girlfriend level like it's insane.
As I mentioned earlier, obviously not to rehash it too much. They had the first vampire wars which ended up with Felix man who took the ring from what the ring of von Karstein which you're pretty wondering earlier like why does Vlad keep coming back after he got his head cut off, because it was the one car sign ring.
Whereas other vampires would have died. In fact, one time he died and then other vampire tries to take over was Isabella was cast on it and then he just sort of reappear and then he coughed the other guy's head.
Felix man, the greatest thief of the age would take the ring from him. Meanwhile, there's a small part here there was someone awake within the tent, which was supposed to be guarded during the day was the vampire slept someone had their eye open then one clearly wants to guess who that might have been.
Someone was watching it happen. Goku was not watching it but it was definitely Manfred.
Manfred had his eyes open when the whole thing was watching and didn't intervene. So, no, he's a truly betrayed everyone.
Yeah, and as you know I mentioned earlier the great theologist, when Vlad woke and he was pissed off he just thought I'll finish off all the capital of the empire now.
And the great theologist and him just plummeted to their deaths and they impaled themselves on spikes, and he wouldn't resurrect until the time of the end times when the cash I think what he would pull him from the blood of Manfred one car sign.
I remember calling.
I think that's how he got resurrected, or I don't know if in the gas resurrected him just out on a whim.
I think the gas might have just been like Vlad's very competent, you're coming back.
Yeah, because, and then, yeah.
And then Vlad would go fight, besides the forces of order against chaos, because, you know, enemy of my enemy is my friend, he would eventually plummet to his death, after the corrupted soul of his beloved Isabella on car sign was resurrected by Nurgle, and he put was he put the von Karstein ring upon her so that when she would die again she would resurrect.
Nurgle stained. So he once again died for Isabella.
Very, yeah, he's again, just a few last things about him as a core again the long one car sign ring was like one of his artifacts I believe Isabella possessed a certain grail that kept refilling with blood that she constantly drinks from the name of it.
I think he was.
And what was the blood from car sign sword again and was it called blood drink I think it's called. He possessed a special sword that was.
I think it's all that was pretty good. If I remember correctly.
It's not blood drinker or something, but I remember it's sort of unholy power.
Very generic in game but I think it's okay. All right.
But there are some other characters who have like cooler artifacts about. I know not go to Manfred too much but Manfred's armor, I believe, and was forged from the dead vampire dust of his other brothers.
So, essentially, like the, the health and like the benefits of life beyond like his vitality was his vitality of Manfred from car sign was improved by his armor of the temple Hoff, if I'm correct, it was on board.
And his sword was unique as well if I'm correctly it's, we see in the, what was it the actual visuals of the vampire counts trailer as well. And he also possesses the books of Nagash which are somewhat interwoven between the vampire
accounts and the vampires story because many of them come into contact with the tomes of Nagash, unfortunately the sweaty smelly human skin books likely.
But as for other characters again there's like Manfred and have Colin was add in a more about Manfred because again, he's a thing to say.
So, give I'll give him the slight amount of credit that he does deserve.
He is a very powerful wizard, very intelligent person.
When he isn't being used to destroy the setting.
The unfortunate thing is, he's already a slimy spiteful weasel.
So, he was the perfect character for GW go.
Yeah, this guy's enough of an asshole that we could use him for this. And so he stabbed guilt in the back end of the world.
There's also because there was some, a little bit of retconning at one point.
In two ways. I do not know the second way he returned it might have just like I think it was just some cultists really hey this guy, Manfred, real powerful guy let's resurrect them and then he, you know, killed them because he's way above their pay grade.
The first one was that there was this necromancer trying to bring him back which presumably would have gone the same way.
He had to you know he had to sacrifice a virgin to bring him back some real classic pulp fantasy stuff.
When it was interrupted by none other than the dynamic duo of gothic and Felix, who killed him instead.
But apparently this guy had also, you know, never gotten laid in his life.
So his blood spilled on a Manfred's corpse brought him back. He woke up, look, the two realized he was in a gothic and Felix story, and promptly flat.
So that's funny. Man, what arguably depending on what lore you go by Manfred's first act upon re resurrection was to run like a bitch.
Also, imagine spilling on Manfred that's cringe.
Swimmers on Manfred's forehead.
Yeah.
He many he he sucks.
He is back in Age of Sigmar.
Unfortunate.
We will never be free his first action I know it's not quite the same but his first action in Age of Sigmar was to start a civil war between dwarf clan so don't worry he's still Manfred.
He also brags about how he had a part in blowing up the previous world.
In a big more he is.
He's not gotten better.
God I just despise him that, but the. I mean there's some other weird things about do what with Manfred like when the time of Conrad was essentially rising to power.
Manfred is just effed off, and he traveled down south to find more books of negation essentially. I believe he came in contact with the tomb king so end up fighting like an undead war they just threw hordes of skeletons at each other.
He could really win it except for when basically Manfred end up losing and he had to run in that finding more books of negation, and what at some point I beat the was it the second way he also came back was like suppose he got started by the rune Fang which is like for some context of people.
The Empire like the electric hands of the Empire essentially have the original forge like to war special swords that actually are able to strong enough to put down even really strong characters and he was when he was struck down by that he said he sunk into the mud of the SN or the, the swamp.
It was a near swamp. The like town of s and the name of it as a health fan.
He's he's some gun into the swamp, and you thought he was down for the count but eventually he would somehow claw his way out of the center later to, to be fair they they did actually kill him like his body was still attacked so they could pretty easily.
If they got the body could resurrect them, but he was that like properly that.
The last thing I can think of is some there are some really cool locations for the vampire Jason factions in the world.
Obviously, Dracon Hoff is a cool place, I don't have to describe Dracon Hoff like Castle Dracon Hoff it's kind of.
It's like, I mean, that's the one with them. What's the weird guy who lives in it.
Oh, he's like, for people who are already listening to this guy is, you might look it up. Is it the. Oh god I think I know what it is. Hang on.
God, what's his name.
It's a very somewhat older piece of law but it's a, it's a very strange character, such vampire adjacent character who lives in is a very strange temple we, we might be thinking of two different people actually.
I think I am possibly but he's only he's also one of the more. He also helped serve alongside in a gash in the end times as well.
Oh Dracon Fells that guy.
Lord, Lord Dracon Fells. I, he's from, oh god, he, in the end times he was called the nameless but it was very heavily hinted that Dracon Fells.
He's.
I don't know if it's describing weird. He's from, how about I'll just say he's from old enough Warhammer lore, where his lore is.
He boss the chaos gods around it to giving him unlimited demon armies.
Because he was just that powerful.
I can't even read what thanks for putting the chat. But yeah, so like there are the track of why men Dracon Hoff is the capital of what would be the lands of Sylvania.
And sort of the powerhouse grounds of where Vlad and Manfred have and Conrad use that like their home base essentially there are lots of strange undead creatures that live in the crypts and amongst them things like vocals, which are like human
and vibrated with vampires where they're like, like, massive flying Batman essentially va guys which are much more like just a large bat horrific creatures, as well as lots of other things did you mean our chat.
Yeah.
The last thing I can also other ones like Castle temper off which like a more adjacent region as well which is often used like a station grounds for when the empire accounts which wish to make incursions into the lands of the empire.
Poor guys themselves.
The vampire coast regions as well I can't remember the name of the capital but essentially where Luther Harkon has his base of operations as a strange place underneath in the middle, right in the middle of the ocean which count not to this in total war warhammer uses, I assume
some sort of like a vampire of their version like a vampire Bay, as you mentioned earlier it was saw Tosa, which is an island of the north of Arabi slash south of the water layer and it started called again calling it's the not the south end.
Wait, the place like by those two, the border princess.
What's that land been, what's that land called with all the.
No, the one between the one which has to like all the orcs are. No, what was his star the layer and the board princess land called again.
I don't know if it's called anything particular I think it's just part of the old world.
Well, essentially between what Arabian the southern part of the old world lies this sort of island kingdom again it's like this is actually like mercenaries as much and heaven, such haven.
There's also vampire.
There's a vampire like haven, sort of around there.
And then Colin join a finish off talk about some units and other things about the vampire case, vampire. I'd be happy to won't won't go like super in depth on everything because there, you know, there's, there's a lot of units.
But I'll just briefly mentioned like kind of the roster.
So, the obviously, you know, generally, a vampire is going to be in charge of the whole thing.
Vampires, you know they have, they use their magic to resurrect the corpses and basically keep the army together very much literally.
They often will recruit necromancers to help with this and take the stress off them a bit.
But what I keep in mind when the vampires go to war is that if you kill the vampire and or enough of the necromancers they've got helping them.
The army is literally going to fall apart, which is why you're saying you earlier How does the vampires lose, because you kill like five guys.
And then the whole thing just falls apart from under them, which should be they plan for like they make sure the big hoard of undead is between you and them. And, like, by physical strength standards of Manfred is a little bitch.
You can still rip a man in half with minimal effort like vampires in Warhammer get boosted to be like, like space marine level strength.
So that's how they stay alive just if you kill them. They're falling apart.
Aside from that, go to a spirit Halloween. And any decorations you find is probably part of the vampire.
Skeletons and zombies are like the, you know, the classic just garbage undead horde, and they're, they're exactly what you think skeletons weapons and zombies.
Zombies don't I don't think that I don't think they actually infect you when they bite you but it is a rotting corpse so you know I hope you enjoy sepsis.
They got, you know, big giant bats worms dire wolves to chase after you. They do have some elite stuff grave guard, which are, you know, like just juiced up skeletons basically nothing super special.
Like ghosts, like, what is like the classic image of like you know the four horsemen or the Grim Reaper riding a ghost horse.
Very cool. How you mentioned. Yeah, that those are the hex wraiths. They're so cool.
Blood Knights. You mentioned, oh, whites as well.
White people as in whites as in the undead creature.
They, they're like undead heroes, like who are especially were especially powerful so the vampires resurrect them and they're like super elite warriors on the battlefield.
Shout out to Krell who is a man of strength and then like when they made him a undead why the dude can literally tank on an army by himself.
Truly cool.
Dude went one v one with Sigwald and was like no, you're getting your shit rocked.
Sigwald did kill him but I Krell got his piece in.
They got Blood Knights for some cavalry which are just a heavy metal album cover there. They're the one of the vampire bloodlines is Blood Knights, founded by Abharsh.
Real one. Yeah.
Real cool guy.
Their whole thing is they seek out worthy foes both for you know honorable knighthood battles and also because it works on dragons might work on other things if they can drink the blood of a dragon.
They can drink blood, which Abharsh found out, and by when he killed a dragon.
So they look for worthy foes both for the challenge and to maybe, maybe free themselves from arguably the worst part of their curse.
They found undead dragons, things called abyssal terrors which are undead dragons but made in a chop shop, just from like random corpse parts basically they found to make a, no that's a terror guys, pardon me.
Just and again it's.
If you've seen a horror movie.
They've probably got it in the roster.
Like they've crypt ghouls, one of my favorites I don't know why I like, I think I know they remind me of Left 4 Dead crypt ghouls, like they're because they're living beings, but you know they did a little bit of cannibalism they went a little bit insane.
And they follow the undead around and just rush people and beat them to death.
They are from the bloodline of Usheran, isn't that.
Those are Strigoi, crypt ghouls can just be people. They usually, they'll follow a Strigoi vampire around because they're on the same mental wavelength of eating people, unga bunga.
Yeah.
But they're not vampires, they're living beings, I think for balance reasons. I don't know if they, Eli you would know, do crypt ghouls count as undead for tabletop rules?
Well, I mean I guess I got the thing, I think they do yeah. They do in Total War.
They got the freaking book right here. They are technically alive, which is real, death magic. They do have the undead special rule.
Gotcha. So they're so messed up that they're close enough.
And usually the general vampire strategy is throw five million zombies at you. They're horrible because they're a zombie. But they're going to tire you out and then the grave guard and the blood knights and all the proper units will come crash down on you.
Andy looks like he just read the chat.
It's clearly budget over one can of beer.
I'm reading the message for a second.
It's over. I have the IP.
Your IP address.
And yeah, any further questions either roster related or I guess in general, although this was like a three way expert section.
I, to be honest, I've just been amusing myself reading the chat being like, oh, what slander. Are they mentioning today.
It's truly awful. But like I have a question. It might sound like really surface level but like, how have the vampires transitioned into Age of Sigma like, what's that about?
Uh, kind of, there's a little bit of differences and how like the bloodline specifics and exactly how the curse of vampirism works but unlike surface level still drink blood.
Still, you know, don't like the sun don't like sigma is holy power.
And I think the thing about because the gas was once again kind of like at first was like I, I could use some more intelligence servants so he brought back Arkin who's not a vampire but he did bring back nepharada Manfred and usher on.
And when Manfred spread the curse of vampirism usher on didn't because he pissed off the gash early in the settings like prehistory and the gash locked him the cage until he went insane. And now we have the flesh eater courts.
I love how you brought he brought back Manfred not because you thought you could use him but to torture him.
Manfred serves like the three way purpose of keeping his other vampires in line because he's such a scheming rat. He is again Manfred is a pretty intelligent powerful guy so that's part of it but also yeah, he is a stress ball.
Whenever Manfred messes up he just grabs him and.
I have two mentions about like the trailer doing watching one. When you see a sigil of chaos, why not not pick it up just being not being funny. The advisor is like cursed and stuff.
Yeah, but he's silly is like oh there's really a nergal.
I was saying why not watch lively.
I don't know.
Why didn't.
Why didn't I a lot of things why did a lot of people not do something chaos related.
The other thing was, I really enjoyed the bit where it was the Norse cofaction trailer, and there were bears and the bears were doing a good job and one smiled at the lady in charge and my bears my favorite animals.
I like that might have been key slips.
Oh sorry, not good.
They would trust Norse. Norse because the cast worshipers keys love is, oh no no them they're they're they're both like, I see. Yeah, they are.
Every custom country in Eastern Europe and just jam them together. Yeah, yeah, he slept the trailers where is this the best going. I had to chaos worshiper.
That's a good bear. I beg of you please stop.
Oh my gosh.
Donations right now.
Yes, I have them. Oh sorry we have the donations and we have one last segment at the end here. Tom Warren for the five bucks. Actually there are two different Godric and Felix stories where he is revived and runs away and like a little bit before Godric can get him.
Didn't know that. In claim backup again thank you brother as always, I think the flesh eat a court are a perfect combination of classic vampire tropes with an incredibly cool twist truly a great faction all hail the summer king and boing gob.
Thank you brother.
Extra medium for five boxes. And these days.
Dracunfell makes what YouTube videos about navel.
Smashing badger for two pounds Thank you brother says the. Oh my god.
That will show rush, Russia Russia hitting so good, it made me a schizo.
Mr me love again for the Bulgarian something should be an expert on Chinese.
For the first time I actually watched skippity.
Get it.
What the hell is going on.
I honestly don't understand why there's that many people who watched. Well did you read Did you watch like the first ones, because those were just pure brain rot then the guy learned how to animate I mean, as, as a fan of TF2.
TF2 shitposts.
It's the next progression to that. Yeah, but I don't abide it. I'm still like, I can't believe how unbelievably positive the comments are people like
the size of cameraman victory is truly horrible. I'm following up from last week I was the question of the week for one minute so far for the donation. Thank you so much.
Last week we did ask what makes you wet. Yes, in fact, you know we did say that.
We got some ones that we're going to go through here. The first one we was by at Akuma making one hashtag wet the ability to three print our miniatures that don't cost a few internal organs from the bloated pigs it gains well she'll do that I cry that was
a little bit of a
I picked this one. Why pay 100 pounds for a single blueberry Marine when you can print out 10 for the same thing for half that price is a big point recently I think, I think in recently the rise of proxy models for a lot of things has been pretty high,
the level like it costs what it used to cost 10 years ago to have warhammer stuff, and it's a bit more. Yeah. But again, some of GW can't be beaten in some modeling things like that new scale model is glorious but shout to my proxy eight bound for world
to shout to I was thinking about my beloved at DJ beast our beloved our brother in arms. Hashtag wet. Call me tech night from the boys because all the holes in the tune in bio for us be looking very appealing sweep.
That's the idea thing so shout out to turtle. Thank you DJ beast. As always we love you at rarest Pepe again. Regular, we love you. Hashtag wet what makes me wet about warhammer as I get to see Colin getting bullied by the person
who's been bullied by those like DJ B's to isolate shout to thank you as well. And that was a comment so it's engagement I'll take what I can get. Yeah, I a shot.
I'm going to use seven y x says hashtag wet the demonic lava and the skaven breeders make me wet Jesus. I literally cannot stop pissing myself out of sheer terror from their existence.
All that runs down my body at the very idea of them, and the lack of heat brought about from my body ceasing all movement, because condensation deform on my book causing condensation to form on my body.
I'm a fan art of any else ever could. One of these it's kind of like, it's not a good thing but yeah, the people who are not ironically like that stuff is scary.
Like not able to sleep at night is the, the lift here on putting a guy inside like a thing behind his throne which is a he put on, he put on a life support machine behind his throne in a space that he can't move or get out, get out of, and it's completely pitch black
and you can't hear anything and he's literally will be stuck as a space marine, so he'll be stuck there for all eternity.
It's absolutely horrible madness.
With that being said that that guys was vampire accounts hope guys, he may didn't know as much I want my fancy you guys appreciate that one.
Would you like me to mention the new question. Yes.
Yes. So the the new question of the week is hashtag lock up.
I have a room with Edwin von Karstein. Manfred.
Yeah, sorry. Sorry. You lock up Manfred gone von Karstein with someone in the settings can be 40k or fantasy like, who would you lock him up with.
And what happened the question week. And what happens when you did so. So for example, I would lock Manfred with.
I would lock him up with
Lehman Ross. Why not. See what happens to boy to tears.
This isn't a salamanders book how boring going on with Lehman. I'm looking forward to all the lock him up with Colin comments.
The war. As I said earlier, lock him up and fucking lock him up with I know who I'm doing immediately.
It's a loss from the Inquisitor Eisenhorn novels because this guy will not shut up.
And he would talk about how why is grass a certain pigment. So this guy is like a true nutcase. I think Manfred with the inability to kill him would probably be driven insane.
I have a question that how do you know where that like, is it the tangerine joke with Caldor Drago Where does that come from. I'm unfamiliar. TCS. I'm pretty sure. Yeah.
It's not a real thing then it's made up fanfic. Okay, I slime Arbo just elbow dropping.
Also, I should mention to all of you is we've recently at expense to the channel had some art commissions for some some some lovely t shirts and mug designs in our shop.
What's going on.
Now, let me see this. That was important moment. Oh for fuck's sake.
I was your ideal first day bro. What does he sent me.
Well, I don't know.
I was doing an important announcement there. And now you've overshadowed it with whatever this is.
Anyways, okay.
Important announcement important announcement which process at the beginning we forgot.
We have something that we've been working on for you boys for the true the, the boys who are there for the live ones we appreciate you guys so much and for all the other audio listeners and the watches as well, and all the people who were able to watch us on
Amazon and Spotify we did we've cooked a little something I guess there's obviously more to come but we've just been working on something here, and did you want to slightly explain what you, what you cooked up.
Huh, what were the the the.
Yeah.
Oh, so, so yeah so we basically we talked to which taunter who did. He's done all the up for all of our podium designs all the guests and stuff. And we basically said to him like hey can you make like a cool design of us, or with the kind of like law crimes in front
of the police.
It was very Guardians of the Galaxy inspired in front of the like, what's that called when you're in front of like the police height lines.
Yeah, yeah, like the mugshot design so that you can now get a T shirt a hoodie and some other designs. Eli has helped with that specifically because Eli knows how to do much and we're all much ignorant so we're like, oh, we don't know what we're doing.
Eli has helped very much. And so yeah you can buy a T shirt or a hoodie or other things and we'll add more if you want us to add more stickers.
Yeah.
What the W distracted.
DJ B shout to me of the regulars. We've got, you want to represent in person, your degeneracy we have some we actually have much.
I don't I don't know if we've linked it with the YouTube yet but there will probably be a more it should, it should be because I've said I've checked recently it should be underneath like all of our posts there's like a bar where they have like much stuff.
So we can go through that through for if you'd like to support the channel.
Yeah, yeah.
So about a bit more coming up.
Thank will stop talking about the law crimes arch bro please.
I've seen them all.
With that being said, though, maybe we should wrap up.
I think you already had about towers earlier, we can we can read people, I think the people deserve a Dracula flow.
All right, go on. I'll put the things in even so that we don't get said YouTube doesn't hear.
I'm moving different. This is a nothing to me man. I'm a dog. I'm biting the fart bubbles in the bath it's over. We smoke in simple smoking that would be gold word South Egyptian for burger deluxe make a million scratchers skunk above a cush.
We smoking dumb beetle I want 12 the coden's smoking on Scooby Doo dick. We smoking see a sequel. Banshee boogers, we snorting that good Buffalo soldier to amaranth Jordanian jibbles jibbies.
They must have amnesia they forgot that I'm him that Burberry backwards pack him that pussy smell like
we smoking shiz in a glass pipe, blowing the Lord's bubbles. I'm sick in the head on the broad County tic tacs. I'm on the Georgetown.
I'm on the Nashville nibblers. I left my Margiel's in the Ben's trunk. I have to stunt on them next time. I don't give a f if I go blind. I don't need to see the price tag anyways I'm high on 12 Jason Bourns looking to beat the come out of that fresh.
Smoking filtered crack you stupid piece of shit. I'll kill you call that pussy the matrix because I'm in this bitch and I can't get out last guy who ran off on the pack got choked out by some Givenchy gloves.
The last thing he ever saw was the price tag on them slowly faded in its darkness and I let the archangels take him anymore. It's a Banshee boogers. Don't be shy girl. I love me some pastrami mudflaps. I'm moving like a French Montana.
I'm a kingdom bish open up. I drink her piss out of another. My shooter a crackhead. He looked like Woody Harrelson you ain't seen 10 bands in your life. Did reach for my neck you'll get turned into an example.
I stopped playing with me man. I threw diamonds at the strip clubs under the Great Pyramids. I pushed a camel through the eye of a needle. This shit ain't nothing to me man. Tied the ops to the back of a trok hawk and dragged them around the block for 24 hours. Motherfucker looked like a Resident Evil 5 campaign extra after we was done with him.
The last one is some initiative blew up their entire quadrant. I'm moving like Oppenheimer till you drop the ass on me from an agrogynous angle and thought I was Stephen Wallace top shelf Zaza. Disrupting my circadian rhythm I have seen the Magna Carta.
How long is this?
Or I was slipping bricks for Mansa Musa before you all even became I type one civilization. This shit ain't nothing to me you stupid piece of shit. Wrong way and you will perish. That pussy feel like biscoff butter.
Ask me if I care about this shit because I don't give a shit. If I had a dog for every time they said I gave a shit I'd be broke because I don't give a shit. My bitch looked like David Hasselhoff. I balled so hard they thought I was an effing nutsack. This shit ain't nothing to me man. I'll kill you you stupid piece of shit.
That Zaza threw me off my circadian rhythm.
That was something. My word.
There's Dracula flow for you Chad.
I hope you like it.
Big shout out a round of applause everyone for Eli representing especially today. He dressed up like Dracula.
He committed. He committed.
Oh yeah yeah.
Oh my god I need to sit I need to lie down after that.
DDB says he's already doing an edit of that. Thank you everyone.
I told you guys it would be a big episode.
You guys made this for you. You have to like after that. You have to like the video.
Come on.
We've earned it. Come on.
Come on.
Thank you for the hundred at the beginning as well.
Thank you so much.
Glory.
Thank you.
Holy cow.
Thank you so much.
That being said everyone.
We'll catch you guys on the next one. We've got some cool stuff coming.
And we hope you all enjoyed the episode particularly if you want more of a fancy you got to let us know obviously for UK is the big one but we do like a fancy.
We do.
It's the best.
God.
We'll catch you guys all on the next one. Peace. We'll see you next time.
Bye everybody.
Bye.