Hello everybody!
Hey, welcome to Lore Crimes!
I should really shorten that intro segment for when we're streaming, but it's us!
Hello everyone!
I'm already getting bullied in the chat.
You know Macho Mojito, you absolute disgusting human being.
You guys are gonna say nice things about me.
I like that.
Shout out to Louie1945 for the two bucks who says, I humbly request knowledge, why did
my dad leave?
Sheesh.
I don't know.
Can't help it.
I don't know.
Maybe you just got no Riz.
He was disappointed.
Don't Riz your dad, you pervert.
No, the dad was disappointed he had no Riz.
You can't goon, you can't edge, you can't Riz.
Can't edge.
Yuck.
How's not a gooner?
Wow.
If Harrowbrine isn't real, why did my dad die of a Harrowbrine overdose?
Holy.
Wow.
What are we talking about today, boys?
Welcome.
I've always said that.
Welcome back to Lore Crimes, Eli.
I can see your trophies in the background.
Well done, you.
Thank you.
You look like a custodian.
Good to have you back.
Could you use one of those as like an Imperial Knight?
That'd be funny.
Perhaps I shall.
I like how there's plasma incinerators on each arm.
A gun show.
Today boys, it's another continuation, isn't it?
We're almost at the end of our Great Crusade legions.
Flynic Cullen will escape the Great Crusade and then-
Only to be plunged into the horrors of the Drom.
I can go first, you're the horrors, Harrison.
I had my one timeline episode when we first started this channel.
Start off strong, Maddie Widder.
We're gonna get to the War of the Beast eventually and Xenos will return.
SC615, thank you for becoming a Lore Criminal.
And then Baseman from Sweden, thank you for the 100 sex.
Funny, he probably needed to throw money at Eli's pecs.
Thanks bro.
Damn.
Thank you very much.
He'll start flexing later if he wants.
Only if he wants to though, brothers.
Oh my gosh, Crimson Glory.
Congratulations Eli, thank you very much.
If people donate, I'll do my posing routine.
Thank you for $2, those trophies are as tall as Eli.
Oh no!
SC615, welcome to the War of the Beast.
Thank you very much, Colin.
Please review the interactive heresy list.
What is that?
E-level flex but Colin won't do the gritty.
So true, Jay Thornton.
Maybe next year if we make enough, we'll all join Eli's training camp for-
See who's the most swole at the end.
I already worked out till I puked once, I don't want to do it again.
It's not fun.
You can't work out again.
I work out, I just don't want to work out till I puke.
I'm asthmatic so I'll probably just be like, hey, how's Andy doing at the Cardian?
I'm just unconscious on the treadmill.
He's fine.
Yeah, I'll share music.
Thank you for the $2, Eli should be in Major Kills next calendar.
Yeah, I didn't have to paint on my abs.
In the spirit of warring on terror, today we are covering three legions.
So we're going to talk about the Ultramarines, the Death Guard and the Thousand Suns today.
But I'll be covering two.
Colin will be covering one.
For that, I guess it's time for Question of the Week.
I hate this list, DJ Beast.
This makes me puke.
What is it?
It's a list of the reading for the Horus Heresy, but it's a graph of-
Oh, I know that one.
My favorite part is that some legions are just not on the graph because you can't- there's
no actual recommended order.
If I look at it, oh, I still have it, there's no Death Guard.
There's kind of an Ultramarines one, but it's all word bearers on it.
It's just not there.
There is an Imperial First one, surprisingly, but then yeah, they're missing most of the
legions because it's tricky.
Also before anything else, I think, hey, Rarest Pepe, while we're going on, you should explain
to the chat what a Macho Mojito is.
If you keep saying it, go on, what is it?
Nah, he won't.
He won't.
Thank you to Crimson Glory, especially for the- the man has been a big, big support of
us for quite a while.
We appreciate you and love you.
For the blood god.
For the level.
We love it.
True.
Shout out to the World Eaters, who I do play, by the way.
I do play World Eaters and I've got my own custom White Rock Angron, who's technically
Ushiran the vampire guy, AOS.
I've been building a lot of Sisters of Battle.
You can't see anything on my freaking webcam.
Nice.
I almost built the entire combat patrol during our Fireside Fantasy recording the other day,
so we're balling.
I just like the idea that you've gotten so swole, the miniatures look even smaller than
they used to be.
Ah, it's pointless now.
I'm just staring at his shoulders.
The boulders.
I did.
I hit shoulders today, so kind of feeling right.
But I believe with your return, Eli, you're also going to be talking about the question
of the week from our last episode on Gotrick and Felix, right?
Yes, sir.
I will pull out what I got.
So our question was, I don't know the exact question, but it was, ask Jake buddy cop,
which means probably who would you like to see as buddy cops in 40k or fantasy?
This is correct.
First one's from Donkeyman USA, a classic lore criminal.
He says, thank wall and call.
Thank wall keeps messing with calls latest and greatest tech heresies and call uses rats
for experiments and makes cyber scaven, which somebody was, was that you Donkeyman USA?
Somebody was making that admex scaven, which is crazy.
Meanwhile, Alpha Primus has to act as tarred Wrangler for the duo as they go competing
across the galaxy, getting into trouble.
I have calls got the, like the ability to, for his things to function accidentally correct.
Like there's no scaven, like whoops element to his stuff.
We have Mike, the Bretonian night, not Bretonian, Bretonian, the green night and the lady for
making us puke when Colin talks about Morathe and his Bretonian takes.
I mean, I had to add at least one call in cylinder.
Colin only dislikes the Bretonia cause he hates the French.
So he was saying no.
I would use Douglas show the what you'll peck see Kiwi Piscay in the chat for just hitting
balls.
Yeah.
An album system.
Yeah.
Oh, Douglas Watson, 42 34.
It'd be hilarious to have Aleth and our teach Conrad Curry's how to actually properly
skin people.
He has 5,000 years of experience of crucifying dark elves with their skin off after all.
I love that.
I would, I would, I would, yeah.
I would like to see the, the, the war crime off on that one.
He's just there like frat count pathetic.
No, no, no.
You're doing it all wrong.
Just like a poor living guy.
Just like, ah, it hurts so much.
Shush.
Teach him something.
Checking the art.
That's like the worst dinner party ever with those two.
Because you're not sure if you're the meal.
I think the worst would be Conrad curves and Conrad von Karstein.
Yeah.
Cause they're both insane.
I have Conrad von Karstein's model around somewhere.
They really did copy and paste that.
I just, how I know put that together like they're just both psychos.
Yeah.
And then we have one more and also Tom Warren donated $5.
Thank you very much, Colin has a plutonium because he's jealous.
They get the Elf bath water and he doesn't.
So true.
I'm shooting.
Thank you for the $5.
They like put those guns away.
It makes me call an inhale feel inadequate.
I can't make fun of chaos.
Worshipper Andy.
He's perfect.
He is perfect.
And he is.
Oh, you guys.
And he's the backbone of law crimes.
He's the handsomest law criminal and we never even see his face, but what we know, we know
the truth.
He's got four hearts.
His chin, his jaw.
The last one, Gabriel Deyal 1068 says, et cetera.
And Lord Croak, if for no other reason than to collapse the universe into nothingness
from their combined presence.
I like I'm a Lord Croak fan.
So I had to throw that one in there.
Too dead, Danish.
You do like croak.
And I'll, I'm going to go get my beef and potatoes now, baby.
Okay.
So while you're getting the beef, if you want to submit your, your answers to this current
question of the week, the new one is we're calling it hashtag reasons.
So because it's great crusade, imagine you're the emperor or someone like him and you have
to band all of humanity together to unify terror.
What are your reasons for doing so?
Bear in mind, the emperor was a bit of a naughty boy.
There was a lot of people who didn't want to be part of the Imperium and a lot of people
died.
So you got to have a good reason.
Okay.
So hashtag reason.
I imagine that if I was to do like my example of that question, I'd do it for people who,
as I've said it before, don't lick yogurt lids like immediate, immediate, like, I'm
talking camps of people who like be at the walkthrough and make sure like watching people
eat yogurts and they don't know why they're there.
I just, I just be like people who don't cue properly, like, no, we've got to sort this
out properly.
You get at the back of the queue, you don't cut in.
Very British, but that would be my pet peeve.
Right.
I just see a wall over this.
Sorry.
So is it, is it a donation here by main event verges?
Is it, oh, you how put your malls on Instagram, not your shiny head.
Good to see one of you doesn't have five thumbs.
What?
Oh, I think he's, he insulted my forehead and the rest of your painting skills boys.
So I, I'm not, I should, I, I'm getting better at ball painting, but honestly, like I just,
as much as like there's so many other people way better than me, so I often feel like I'm
pretty bad at, they don't think I have ugly looking models.
I just feel like inadequate compared to the actual like community of people who paint
their models.
Cause cause they, they definitely do the, oh, I just made this last night.
It's not even that good.
And you're like, wow, thanks for the non-metallic all over the thing.
Cheers.
Yeah.
But, but let's not, let's not be around the bush.
But then you did the same thing during this room.
Just like, oh, you know, I just, I feel like I'm intermediate though.
I feel like I'm in an intermediate.
I feel like you should take a long walk off a short pier.
I genuinely, genuinely, I do feel like I'm an intermediate and I felt like there's so,
there's a huge gap between like me and the actual God tier, but they're not even the
God tier, the actual good painters.
Well that gap exists between you and me.
I understand you might not quite be as good as, you know, the gaming I won three golden
demon storyteller, but yeah.
Thank you main event Virgil for my, as I'm constantly told my Innsmouth Riz on my shiny
forehead.
As you can tell, I'm the only reason law crimes were started is because there's a group of
us who have big foreheads.
So you know, welcome, you know, send us a picture of your hairline.
This is how I'm going to overtake Bricky.
I don't think I'm going to beat him in subs, but by God, I will, I will have the bigger
forehead.
TJB is getting my case brother.
Thank you.
Uh, with that being said though, uh, I'll see Eli's maintaining his protein intake and
some of the people, the comments are saying foul stuff about protein.
They're saying foul things about you.
Oh God.
Ah, he's just not on Colin for once.
Lord Cunnilingus.
He said you're Lord Cunnilingus.
My Slavic brother in Christ.
What are you doing?
We're meant to stick together.
Damn it.
Um, yeah, pain.
Uh, well, that being said though, we're great crusading.
We're back in, we're in M 30.
Are we at the end of M?
No, we're in M 30 999.
End of M 30.
So it's like, or 30.
Yeah.
31st.
Cause it's like, it goes retroactively.
So it starts at like zero to a hundred.
So you should M 31.
Pass over to Colin then.
Who are we talking about today, Colin?
We're talking about the greatest of them all.
The only chapter that matter.
All these other legions can go straight to hell.
It's the only the ultramarines baby.
Nope.
Yeah.
White stars are cool.
Don't care.
You will, you will never outdo my sheer blind lack of caring for space queens that are
blue and gold.
I've had a border Prince say you say forehead, not forehead.
My dad's brother.
He, he, he would be silly if I'm, I didn't say forehead or forehead.
No, a bottle of water.
A macho mojito is not protein powder.
A macho mojito with com.
Sounds about right.
That's on brand.
I'm just very on brand.
It's we need, we need Mr. Border Prince to come on and talk about, so we can talk about
the Lord of the Rings.
Old world mentioned old world and Lord the Rings forever.
Now it's ultra marine so I can, I can kind of stomach it.
It's okay.
But yeah, you know, this is, it's, you know, unification wars, great crusade, you know,
a little bit of pre Gilliman and some with Gilliman.
You know, like ultra marine, it's good.
It's gonna be a good time.
I've spelled Rebutes name wrong.
The first time I spelled it in this little note sheet I have.
So that's a good sign.
That's just the meme though, isn't it?
It's like Rob, Roboty, Gully man.
I didn't even do it on purpose though.
Like I just, you go man.
That's the meme.
I prefer a robot guilty spark.
Nice.
Just completely put your again.
I have two donations because I assume you guys already read the one.
I think we don't know Mr. Meal of we didn't read that.
It says time to learn about my favorite Legion.
The dozen and bloody shirt music.
Yo shout out to all the regulars who are here.
Bringing water prints on saying teachers about anything but modern 40k.
My man.
I will say something, but if you're not as into modern 40k, remember there's a lot of
40k that did come out and then people just don't talk about it because it wasn't that
good elder books.
Some of them.
There are like, there's always more 40k brothers to talk about.
If nothing else, you don't like modern 40k.
You can find a PDF of the OG rogue trader book online.
That's as far away from modern 40k as you can physically get.
The brother of water prints.
Let's say a black gate troll chief and is the king.
Yes he is.
Okay.
I don't know.
He was only playing Lord of the Rings tabletop at the moment.
Really?
So yeah, I play Warhammer like once a month and then Lord of the Rings as much as I can
because it's just so much better.
Also thank you to lore becoming a lore criminal main event Virgil.
Nice.
But ultramarines now.
Yes, except not quite because they weren't the ultramarines yet.
You'll notice that, you know, ultra that's actually before we start, I'll I properly
start want to say, I think the proper way to say it wouldn't be ultramarines.
It would be like ultramarines.
Yeah, because I know like the, you know, you look in you're like they're the ultramarines,
which you know, they're the best, which you know, correct, but that's, you know, an opinion.
It's it's more accurate to be like they're the people like the soldiers of ultramarine.
Yeah, less ultra less MK ultra more like ultramarines.
Yeah, granted saying it that way sounds kind of awkward.
So just ultramarines, but it is not supposed to just be there.
The ultra is marines even though they are.
But at this point, they're known as the war board.
You know, the 13th legions of space marines, Gilliam's their Primark, but they're much
like pretty much everyone else, except maybe the Alpha Legion with one of the twins.
They don't have their father back yet, which is another side tangent.
I always found it weird.
They call Primarks their dad.
I'm just going to say it.
That always throws me for a loop, especially because at this point, they're babies.
Yeah.
I find it, you know, I haven't ever like clocked it as weird as when I think Sevatar once said
uncle to Magnus the Red.
And I was like, that's not a fan of that one.
Why would you say that?
As long as he didn't call Conrad daddy, it's fine.
I even worse.
The bottom keeps being deepened.
Who's the?
I beg your finest pardon.
I did that in a different rock bottom, but you know, then we kept going deeper, but I
worded it horribly Dante.
Thank you for the signature look of the audio.
Listen, that's the ultra Mario you omega.
But at this point, they're the war born and they're they're not quite they're not like
the the true Greco Romans.
They're going to be pretty much the moment they find Gilliman at this point.
There is still a little bit because at this point as the war born, they're largely taking
from people like on Terra.
The recruits largely came from people who were nearly wiped out by the emperor, which
is a fairly Roman thing to do.
They would come in, they would obliterate everything you'd ever known.
And then whoever was left could be a Roman.
So there's still a little bit of Roman roots early on.
But other than that, that's kind of it.
And that being said, there was no evidence of them being deployed on Terra.
They weren't to appear to be, you know, doing any of the fighting.
The first records, which is, you know, the first instances I could find had them fighting
on the moon and the Senate campaign towards the edge of the solar system.
So they weren't they weren't the opening rounds of the Great Crusade.
Actually, would you guys count the unification wars as part of the Great Crusade?
And then recall the Great Crusade until the Emperor made like a formal declaration.
Because it was like, yeah, he was like, first we conquer Terra.
Then once we've like made an alliance with Mars, then we're like, right, we've got the
ships, we've got the men.
Oh, let's go, lads.
War crimes.
Ahoy.
And then they went.
Yeah.
So like, all right, a little bit of rewording.
Then they they weren't, you know, they weren't in the very beginning, really, you know, the
unification wars, but they were, you know, Great Crusade pops off, you know, they leave
Earth and the ultramarines were they were good.
They were raring to go.
Their gene seed was very remarkably stable.
This is going to be another side tangent I get to.
But it's more this is again, just something I wanted to talk about, not really a side
tangent.
Gene seed, though, no noteworthy flaws or mutations like is it the Imperial Fist, right?
They can't spit acid.
Their Baetrus Gland doesn't work.
Yeah, their Baetrus Gland doesn't work.
And there are a few other weird inconsistencies with other legions as time goes on.
Yeah, they're also incredibly annoying.
But that's just like a.
But also, I think the Imperial Fist can't go into like stasis sleep either.
They can't just be like, I'm asleep for seven years and then wake up.
I think that's another thing they have.
They're too stubborn.
That sucks.
It sucks though, because if they get injured, they can't go into the coma thing.
And yeah, they're like meditation, healing sleep thing.
Yeah.
That's but for the ultramarines, you know, no gene seed or no, no, no, no gene seed,
no gene seed flaws, nothing noteworthy enough.
It's like, OK, this Legion has this problem.
It's vanilla.
Totally bog standard, except for the fact that for whatever reason you get this gene
seed and you're suddenly a very big fan of cohesion and hierarchy and you want everything
to be nice and ordered and properly structured.
Just a little bit more Roman stuff kind of creeping in.
You know, the legions, all the nice organization.
You become a power sub.
Don't say that.
Although I did want to say, like, at what point does something like that go from feature
to flaw?
Right.
You know what I mean?
I mean, as a soldier, so if you're somewhat submissive, that's the that's cohesive.
And it's not that they're turning submissive.
They like, you know, cohesion.
Yeah.
Well, again, the big the big flaw with the ultramarines with time would be that, like,
they they have to do everything by the book.
And that's the thing.
It's like, this is how it's done.
It's like, not always.
No, this is how it's done.
And that's kind of related to that, I suppose.
I was just wondering, like, at what point does it stop being like just like at what
point does something regularly occurring within a gene seed count as mutation?
Because it did seem, you know, the ultramarines all start liking that kind of stuff, but it
doesn't count as mutation, right?
I mean, that's what that was.
We're just not even just like a quite just like it.
I think it depends on how aesthetically pleasing it is.
It's like San Buenis' wings.
They're not they're not a mutation.
He's pretty.
Leave him alone.
But the black the red thirst, that's that's that's not.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Also, we got a donation from a few donations, fellas.
Yep.
Back to Donkeyman USA, who said for two dollars, I almost want to give you your two dollars
back for saying this skin me harder, Uncle Kurt.
Yeah.
Now you and Bikini Prime.
It's a fun name.
Two dollars.
Thank you, Prime.
I'm sorry.
Power Subgene Seed Flaw.
Yeah.
And SC 615.
Thank you for the five dollars.
Thank you, brother.
I'm going to do one of my favorite Primark's.
Shake it is up there to what would be the best place to start reading.
Also big up.
See, I prep is grueling.
Yes, it was.
But we don't need to get Salamander's books.
The best recommendation is not to engage with that.
Don't read that books.
Thank you.
Start with the book called Scars by Chris.
Thank you, a Border Prince for the potent and flawless seed.
Thank you.
Joseph.
Yep.
Joseph Pollard donated 10.
That looks like some kind of like 10 dollars currency from like it feels like something
you get in like a JRPG or something.
I don't know.
It's like squiggly circle thing.
I'm not sure what it is.
We know it's like an endless space currency.
It's different in the chat.
Okay.
I have returned from my conquest in brackets vacation in Europe to hear cringe and see
Colin's unmade bed.
I hate you.
It's pretty made.
Thank you for the 10 dollars.
Colin always makes the bed.
It's not made great, but it is made.
He always makes the bed.
The bed made.
The couch chair is always ready.
He always makes the post.
Ultra Marines.
I have not made a post.
I'm going back to the Marines, damn it.
I never thought I'd want to.
But we're going away to space towards Space Marines.
BRB.
Alrighty.
But it's Smurfs.
You know, much like, you know, keep the Roman a little bit.
They bolster their strength from conquered worlds.
All right.
Hey, you're part of the Imperium now.
You're coming with us to fight.
You're a Legionnaire now.
So you know, that would help them get a bit stronger, although something makes them stand
out a bit from how they were.
Although when they meet with some moments with Killivan, you'll find out maybe that
is kind of in character for the ultramarines.
They tend to be very aggressive.
Not world eaters, you know, berserk fury.
You deploy them to the planet you never want to see ever again.
They, you know, there would be a world left after the war born were done with it.
But they were very aggressive, discipline determined, but they would pull punches.
It did help them, you know, any cooperative campaigns they might have been part of with
other space marine legions.
It helped them out with that.
They were especially with the tendency towards hierarchy and cohesion.
They were they were a good Legion to get along with.
Yeah, occasionally there was just, oh, this world's being a bit difficult.
Ultramarine used glare.
You're too paralyzed to move.
That was how they did it.
We have some good call and comments in the chat.
Also, DJ Beast donated $2.
Thank you, DJ Beast.
Thanks, Mike, and move that pillow, Baldin.
Thank you.
Very good.
Adam, each meal has Colin.
Colin sits on the cup chair while painting his power bottoms and then plays your music.
Colin sits on the cup chair painting miles of him sitting on the cup chair.
Oh my gosh.
Who would have by chair really?
Let him talk about ultramarines.
He's enjoying himself.
I love.
They were.
They were a very practical Legion.
All things considered.
You know, they were still at this point little.
They were willing to do what works.
They were very aggressive with it, but you know, they'll they'd listen at least.
You know, they'll try what works, stuff like that.
At one point they were defeated against.
Okay, fucking control delete on that thought.
Holy shit.
They were waging war against some rebels assisted by unknown Zenos that were rather psychic
in nature.
They there was some weird like soul stealing stuff going down.
It was not the ring done, but it vaguely reminds me of them because they it's like they would
like use people as thralls kind of deal.
The crave.
And this was the site Osirian cybards and other Zenos to be said in the US and never
heard.
Yes.
And it's annoying because they sound so cool because it's like their ships are described.
I don't know, Eli.
I have an image of some ship with endless space.
Maybe you vaguely.
I don't know anything about it.
Just an image in my head because the ships are they're like described as like hourglass
shaped with rotating like segments to them.
Like a cross between something from endless space that I cannot remember.
Or so far into some maybe it may probably one of those and also Andy.
I'm thinking like the relays from Mass Effect 2 like how they're spinning bits.
Yeah, that's the revolving bit that yeah, space.
Yeah, I'm picturing like their ships like something like some cross image of those things
in my head and they sound very cool, but we'll never know about them because they exist to
give me Horace heresy fodder.
It's just like we made a ship and we put a lava lamp in the middle.
So yeah, go for it.
Yeah, looks cool.
But this is a donation, by the way, from May main main event again.
Thank you, Colin.
Colin, you're not alone.
I never make my bed, but I'm also a massive hypocrite.
Join the army just so you can learn how to make a bed.
You can quit after.
Unfortunately, I can't.
I did actually want to join the Navy as a kid, but they don't let diabetics do it.
I also want to be an astronaut, but same outcome there.
So if I predict the draft coming and I just start I just load myself with sugar for like
three months straight and become a diabetes.
You can theoretically get rid of that.
So I think they might tell you no.
Or you can get really heavily tattooed and then they won't take you either, at least
in the UK.
I did the application to like just out of curiosity if they take me in the reserves
and they're like, how big's the back piece?
I'm like, nah, it's reserves.
Even the reserves are like, nah, we're not having you.
Yuck, is a looking motherfucker.
I think if World War Three breaks out, they're probably going to they're probably going to
lessen that.
Yeah.
But yeah, the the war born still called that they were defeated and they they got filled
with a lot of shame and a little bit of bloodlust for combat.
And they decided that until they they're reunited with their Primarch, no glories.
They're not taking any honors.
They lost.
They do not earn them yet.
They need to find their gene father for they're going to be whole again.
They got a no they're not going to accept any trophies or medals until that happens.
And rather interestingly is that they actually knew where Gilliman was two years before all
this business happened.
But warped storms were kind of ruining or not ruining, but affecting travel to where
Gilliman was, which I imagine has to be especially frustrating.
You're like, he's right there.
We could see him.
We know he's there.
So this is when they found him and they knew he was on.
Yeah, they knew he was on like Macrog and you know, they it's like they knew where it's
just the war storms.
You can go to them if you want to die.
It's like you're picking your kids up from school and there's like a really heavy bit
of rainfall going on.
You can see them in the classroom waiting to go home and you're just looking at them
through the glass going like, it's raining.
It's really heavy rain.
I haven't brought my coat.
I can't.
No, sorry.
I just have to wait.
Don't come back.
Yeah.
And you just need milk and cigarettes.
Exactly.
And back in the army.
Also, yeah, there's a funny comment.
Yeah, it is so over.
Hasty white guys everywhere.
When they start worrying about like optics and they're worrying about like, okay, how
we get the most amount of something, then it's like, okay, that deadly seers.
A clean shaven white guy just delivered my Uber Eats.
Sell everything.
Everything's down.
It's over.
Come be there.
No shame.
Sometimes they'll just straight they'll just.
Nestle, Nestle is like, oh, they look so nice.
Yeah, we'll straight up like, we'll put people, you know, of every origin and adverts and
then we'll straight up like poison their water sources across the board.
As the old saying goes, you can't spell company without come.
Thank you, Andy.
I talk about Gilman though.
Yes.
It's a, you know, while this was happening, you know, Gilman's doing his thing on Ultramar
being the only Primark with a real family.
Isn't nightmarish in some way.
You know, his dad does get a Caesar, but that's that's okay.
His mom's still kicking and he does.
Gilman gets proper vengeance for his father without killing his without killing the man
who killed his adopted father, comrade Gilman, although the McCroggy and Senate did throw
him off a cliff.
So, you know, is it the Illyrians?
Is there an actual was there an equivalent of the Illyrians in Rome as well?
Yeah, they're called the Illyrians.
Yeah, I feel like there was like an actual it's just the region that is like that area
part of the Balkans, like next to Italy is just it's called the Illyria.
Yeah, because the Illyrians even to the modern 40 K the Illyrian sector on their capital
city of Macragge still hates the old rings.
They're always trying to appease them, but they never quite, you know, they're like this.
They're just success and succession is even to the even in 30 K to 40 K.
It's not perfect, but, you know, Rome wasn't perfect either.
It was good enough.
But around this point, you know, Gilman starts expanding the Krog.
It becomes, you know, proper spaceboard empire, you know, integrating worlds into itself.
They're reunited with the emperor, you know, Gilman and everyone else.
And you know, Macragge is promptly or Ultramar more at this point is properly integrated
into the Imperium with relatively little fanfare, all things considered.
And Big E gets 500 free worlds and Gilman gets a space marine legion renamed the ultramarines.
Now they're here.
They are.
That's kind of like I've seen earlier.
That's best translated as people of Ultramar.
And I think if I remember correctly, Ultramar in Portuguese means like far sea or something
like that.
I can't.
There was like a translation I saw.
It was forever ago.
I can't remember, but it's wacky.
I guess maybe that's where ultramarine comes from for like bluey.
It might.
Honestly, it's a sea color maybe.
Plus, you know, it fits if that if my vague remembering of what the translation is, is
right.
Ultramar is probably the like eastern most major space marine like hub, isn't it?
Yeah, it's pretty far out there.
Yeah.
They're always getting into like several wars because like, oh, leave us alone.
Stop it.
I mean, when they're in what's like the main they're not in the East and Freig mentioned.
It's like south east.
It's like bomb bomb right.
It's like they're in the big they're in the largest segment in the middle.
But yeah, they're in the east of terror or in terms of if east even is irrelevant as
a direction in terms of the galaxy.
But on the map, they're the Galactic East.
Yeah, they're yeah, they're in segment of Ultima.
That's it.
Yeah, the big one.
The real big one.
Where the big boys are the one that's half the galaxy.
Yeah, the fat, the fat, the fat uncle of all.
Got to say real bad organization on Biggie's part or whoever put that map together.
Could have split that one up a little bit.
Should do it for us.
I mean, why not?
One like, you know, like a cake, you know, I don't know.
Thank you, DJ Beast.
Thank you, brother.
I think that just general tyrannids.
They've had a few guys at McGraw.
Yeah, haven't got it yet.
Maybe.
But yeah, they Gilliamans back.
Well, I guess not quite back, but they got Gilliamans now.
They got they got Grandpa Smurf and the ultramarines would then go on to just be the best ever
in the Great Crusade with the highest amount of planets brought to compliance.
Even more than the Dark Angels and Sons of Horus.
It's a pretty great because Gilliam and not.
Yep.
You know, his part, you know what he learned on McCragg is part of his formative years
was, you know, diplomacy is worth it more often than not.
Oh, God, what did you read?
What did they say?
Oh, it's funny.
What?
I have to remember how to how to do this.
How to put this on Imgur or whatever.
While you're doing that, I'll just keep talking.
It seems to be sent to us for the audience.
But yeah, in Gilliam and the ultramarines pretty usually left worlds in a better state
than when they when they found it.
You know, they made sure, you know, the planet has a PDF.
It has basic infrastructure.
It can be a swift and effectively integrated into the interior proper more than just, you
know, we now own this on a map, the colored crayon paradox map expansion game of the Imperium
at this point.
You know, it's we actually own it and can use it.
It's not just a war torn hellscape they're inheriting, like whatever the, you know, the
I completely forgot the name of the Iron Warriors for a second.
It's not like when they conquer a world or the world eaters and it's like, well, we own
this barren rock now.
Great.
Yeah.
It's not Pyrrhic victories every time.
Yeah.
Pyrrhic victories are a victory that doesn't even mean anything because there's nothing
to own.
There's a good thing to say about the ultramarines as well.
Their particular strength is not the fact that they're like physically stronger or have
better guns than any other Legion is the fact that their delegation is particularly like
Gilliman their Legion size is huge, isn't it?
But like particularly like their strength of the fact that each commander in a weird
way is like their own mini Primarch in some way.
Yeah.
There's like four tetrarchs which rule like, I guess it would be 60 worlds apiece because
there's like five, no, it's 500 worlds.
That's 250.
So that's like, yeah, each tetrarch rules like 125 planets each.
And they're like his lieutenants and like dark angels were straight out the gate and
they had all the deadliest guns.
Suns of Horus benefited from having a Primarch really early on like the first returned Primarch
other than our pharisee doesn't count.
But then Gilliman is just like, I'm rich.
Look at all my planets.
What are you going to do?
I think the ultramarines are soldiers, whereas a lot of the other ones were just conquerors.
They're soldiers and the other space marines are warriors.
Yeah.
That's how I see it too.
Angry homunculus, thank you for the five European dollars.
Listen, as a Pakistani dude, you should not trust the British to draw maps.
My dude is so correct.
Fair enough.
Low-key kind of off-hole agreement.
Low-key.
We broke up the Legion, but not really.
To be fair to the ultramarines, it's like every loyalist Legion that they could help
it.
The Imperial Fists have the last wall.
The Dark Angels have the unforgiven.
Anyone who could found a way around that.
Even Gilliman, he was just like, oh, I'm going to have a sneaky 11th company called The Sides
of the Emperor.
Don't worry about them.
It's fine.
They're going to find out.
I'll make them a chapter.
Ignore that.
It's fine.
Sneaky extra chapter known as the Genesis chapter.
Yeah, buddy.
The ultramarines at home.
Arcoflagellate.
As a Bulgarian, you shouldn't trust the Brits with the Yugoslavian planes.
Thank you.
Damn.
Really bad at drawing, aren't we?
Yeah, Gilliman, he leads the ultramarines to be the best.
The bestest ever.
I don't care about my bias.
You will accept it.
He right.
Matt Ward for life.
Matt Ward was unironically right about everything.
Bring him back.
I miss him so much.
Let him write for life.
I didn't appreciate him for what he was.
We didn't know what we lost.
It was gone.
Please come back.
Dude, please write an Eldar book so we can have them fight the entire Imperium and win.
Okay, three donations.
Thank you, you guys.
Explatio music, two dollars, you shouldn't trust the British to cook food, extremely
true.
I went to a pub the other day here, it was British themed food, I paid like 24 dollars.
Oh no.
I mean.
One sausage and some mashed potatoes.
Yeah, but there's places in America that say they're Irish bars and it's like...
Yeah.
No, but it's like actual British food.
I'm Italian.
You're definitely not Italian.
You're American made.
Do you know where the meme comes from?
It's not hard to make British food.
The meme comes from the fact that Americans during World War II came over and they were
eating the British rations, the sausages, and it tasted terrible.
That's where they had to keep stopping because the Brits kept going, we need a tea break,
we need to...
It's like, we're advancing on that position.
They were like, no, we have our tea breaks, we have to have our tea breaks.
And they would literally stop fighting to have their breaks and sip their tea.
It's like, fucking Brits.
A roast in a Yorkshire pudding burrito.
That sounds nice.
When I can help it, I only eat at Asian food places because they're the only thing that
would value.
Every Western restaurant is overpriced and you don't get enough and you can make it at
home anyways.
I got so heated.
At this pub, I spent $45 because I got two things.
DJ B's is not in New York.
I was still hungry.
DJ B said as an Indian, I should not trust the Brits.
I swear he said he was from somewhere else before.
That is Arabic.
Typical Brit trying to rewrite history again.
As an American, you shouldn't trust Bowie to make places.
Brother, you get on a 737 and you are gambling.
I'm getting on a plane in September, it's scary.
Oh dear.
What do we say about ultramarines?
Right, ultramarines.
With Gilliman, he's back.
They got vengeance for the defeat against those Osirian sidebirds, however you say it,
at the battle of the Eurydice terminal, which I only wrote down the name of it because that
sounds kind of cool.
Gilliman personally killed their leader, well, his chief battle-siker sacrificed himself
so it could be done.
The ultramarines, their shame has been erased.
They're back on top form, baby.
They're ready to go and get the highest amount of compliances.
They're great.
They're not, you know, they weren't entirely squeaky clean, right?
You know, being, you know, as biased towards Gilliman as I am, I'm going to qualify this.
But when I say they made worlds better than they found them, a lot of times that meant
better from like a governmental perspective and like, oh yeah, the taxes and everything
going to be arriving perfectly on time.
Very efficient source of soldiers.
There's still rampant slavery and corruption on this planet.
It's Gilliman saying we're going to make the world better or else.
Thank you Crimson Glory for the five bucks.
As an American, don't trust the British.
Bias source as a British colony is bias.
Listen, okay, America's trying to get in on the French versus UK beef.
We don't have beef like that with you guys, okay?
We got in on that beef pretty early.
You were a small part of the beef.
That was the first thing we did as a new nation was invite the French to be the national
welcome in this relationship.
The rebellious stepchild rebelling against the parents going, oh, we're a couple, not
a throuple.
Okay.
Shane, Shane bro.
I first saw this, you know, thank you, Shane.
He says, waffle house not only always has quality food, it's always cheaper than the
surrounding restaurants.
Yeah, it's because you're risking getting the shit kicked out of you if you step foot
in a waffle.
I've never been to one, but maybe next time I'm in America, I'll talk about it.
I'm more of a Denny's guy.
Oh, I love Denny's.
I just looked up the other day and our local Denny's here is open 24 hours again.
Oh baby.
I'm heading there to him with the boys.
It's happening.
We're so, so back.
Shane bro.
I saw him on the road.
I'm like, oh.
We saw that.
Shane bro for five bucks says, uh, diviners will let a natural disaster unfold without
intervention and then say, I foresaw this, you know, average El Dread with one interaction.
Look he's one of water prints.
I say, and to put it best when the plot needs to be powerful, he's a God when it needs him
to be stupid.
He is going to goon for 36 hours straight.
As you will.
Right there.
Yeah.
The taxes were efficient, but Gilman also had to mending over new Saria, you know, and
grounds home world did not make it a nicer place to live at all.
It was still slavery rampant.
Shit hole, which, you know, again, I said I'm, I would give you some cope for Gilliman.
I choose to believe that was because the emperor was like, you're on a timetable.
You need these worlds conquered now.
No time for breaks.
You know, I'd like to believe if Gilman was allowed to, he would have made them, you know,
better like that because, you know, he, he turned the Krog into a pretty good place to
live.
But, you know, biggie was like, Hey, uh, you don't want to be late.
You're not going to like what happens if you're conquering too slowly and we'll get to it
soon enough.
And then had a hand in showcasing personally what happens when you're conquering a bit
too slowly coming up soon.
So it's a little bit of Gilman cope, but I choose to believe it's not his fault.
You didn't really want to humble or go to say, I'm doing the best out of everyone or
I get dragged into everything.
I'm best favorite child.
Oh, look at me.
I'm being directly asked to buy the emperor.
I can't really say no.
We have a crimson glory donation.
Thank you for the $10.
Mr. Crimson glory, the UK and French little brothers fighting America's dad getting home
after a long day of work.
I'm not going to lie.
America sees like, I'm watching your politics at the moment.
And I'm like, are we the ones who are like, who's trying having problems?
I don't know.
It's freaked everywhere.
Who are we feeling?
It's a little bit.
Oh man.
That picture goes so hard though.
I don't think any of us can deny it.
Which one?
Oh yeah.
The freaking.
Yeah.
Where was it?
Where is it?
That, that, that, that, that, that.
At some point, some other problems they had, you know, they, Gilman was, you know, he was
happy to integrate new tactics into the Legion.
The ultrarines are all were, but you usually had to beat it into their heads first.
Like what was it?
Corvus, right?
Like they were doing war games.
Like he got, he got the upper hand on him once with some like stealth and run tactics.
And then after that, you know, Gilman was like, okay, I will now integrate this, make
it as efficient as I can.
And Corvus is like, well, I don't think I'm ever beating him again.
I can get close calls and win some battles, but the wars are never going to be won.
This is a, but.
A lot of ingenuity, more like it's the, you know, the old reliable.
Will refine anything you give him to the finest point, but you need to give it to him first.
Yeah.
I mean, he, he also loved the Morokharts from the Raven Guard, which were like this, the
suicide squad, like dual wielding gun.
Like they would like the, the guys, oh, they're going to die.
We'll just put them in the frontline.
They're just going to jump in and do some damage.
And he went, I like this.
And he started to incorporate them in his Legion because he saw them doing him and,
oh, that's good.
That has tactical use.
I'm having that he's kind of like the British where like we saw something else and we liked
it.
So we took it.
Classic.
Apart from the steam engine, which we invented.
Yeah.
Uh, it's so that was, you know, he, and he was a little bit arrogant, you know, again,
he'd be like, oh yeah.
So I'm sure your way of doing things is perfectly good.
Uh, you know, he had this idea of, well, you'll see the ultramarines fight and you'll truly
be amazed that this is, this is the best way to do it.
He was, it was in some fairness, it was, it was a show.
Don't tell thing.
He'd be like, you'll see us fight and you'll fall to your knees and accept that the ultras
are the best and you'll want to do it.
How we do it, which, you know, to be fair, highest amount of compliances, but it rubbed
some of his brothers the wrong way.
I know Lehman wasn't the biggest fan of them.
Didn't Ferris Manus hate him?
Uh,
Yeah, Gilman liked Ferris and he liked Lehman, but it wasn't, it wasn't mutual.
Ferris was like, oh, he's just a rich kid.
He's got all these planets.
If I had that much stuff, I'd do better.
He was like, oh, he didn't like how Gilman basically played on easy mode in his opinion.
He's like, oh,
He was somewhat insecure around him at times as well.
Like there's his own primal novel is basically the fact like he realizes Gilman is like on
the grander scale, a better Primark and he's a better Legion than he is in terms of like
how it interacts with the Imperium.
And so Ferris Manus tries for one book to do diplomacy like Gilman, but he doesn't have
Lehman's skill nor do his sons.
We also have three donations.
Thank you very much.
Let me scroll up here, Beastman from Sweden.
Thank you for the 50 sec.
As a Scandinavian, just want to say we turned British home invasion into a sport.
We even showed off our trophies when we got home.
Nice.
Joseph Pollard, thank you for the $5.
The more ghetto the Waffle House, the better.
There was a fight at my local, uh, where the cook hop in.
Nice most banging food ever.
Is Waffle House just like pretty much Denny's column?
Isn't it?
I hope wasn't it?
It's Denny's, but like for some reason it's like a PVP enabled zone.
It's like Super Smash Brothers Melee, but also a restaurant.
Yeah.
I really, before we go to the in-laws next week, I got to get a 2am Denny's chip.
Finding out that that Denny's is open past 12am again is like an insane, it's just, oh
my gosh.
They put actual meth in those pancakes.
I'm getting the cinnamon bun pancake with my all American slam.
Hell yeah.
Anyway, it's LV47, changed your profile pic.
$2, thank you very much.
But can Gilman beat Balthazar Gilt?
No sir.
Certainly not.
He's turned the globe the moment he looks at him.
What's that video with like the, how he like the, it's like the metal bands, like, and
it's like something at Denny's and then people just on a mini mosh pit.
Oh, it's a classic video, classic.
Gilt's turning Ultramar into a lead statue.
Oh man.
We should, there's like a, there's a concept there, something like how, I don't know if
this could be a video or something like 40k versions of fantasy characters, like scale
their power up to be in 40k.
That could be interesting.
You don't even need to do it with Gilt.
Yeah, I know.
But Gilt's metal has a skill where he touches something made of metal and knows everything
about it and how to make it.
Gilt touches a Necron and he's unstoppable.
Damn.
Epic.
He just like stares Pateraba in the eyes and goes, bitch.
That's a good idea.
Come on, Bernie.
Brian F. Denny's is not trash.
Denny's is great.
It is trash, but it's not trash.
Yeah, it's trash anytime before midnight.
Oh yeah, but if you go after midnight, it's heaven.
It's so good.
Oh my gosh.
But, uh, Ultramarine.
Almost done.
We're trying to get through this.
I love it.
Country V.
This hasn't been the first time we've gone on a breakfast tangent.
Come on.
My buddy ordered a blue steak at Denny's.
Can you believe that?
What's wrong with it?
Like, yeah, it was actually good too.
I couldn't believe it.
That just sounds like asking for food poisoning to me.
Speaking of blue things, the Ultramarine.
Sorry.
I'm having fun building my freaking pen and pen engine over here.
It is, uh, at some point the Ultramarines, uh, got a bit of a boost in Marines when,
uh, the two, uh, space Marine Legions who did a big no-no, uh, were, had their Primarchs
expunged, gone.
What Legions are you talking about, Colin?
There were only ever 18 Legions and 18 Primarchs.
That's right.
The, uh, the, it's the hypothetical, purely hypothetical second and, uh, 11th Legions
that definitely never existed.
Ignore the fact that, you know, the numbers two and 11 were just skipped right over.
Nope.
Uh, these, these theoretical Marines theoretically became part of the Ultramarines or at least
most of them did, uh, theoretically.
And uh, practically they, practically theoretically.
Um, theoretical, this happened practical.
Shut up.
Shut up about it.
Shut up.
Ignore the sins of the killers.
Shut up.
And, uh, theoretically, Gilliman himself had a hand in the memories being erased of the
event.
Him and, him and Dorne were, I believe the two most involved in this.
Uh, so there's some black marks and then the, the worst sin, you know, I'll say it, the
burning of monarchy, uh, Gilliman, why'd you do that?
But, uh, Calphe was an act of self-defense.
Okay.
Also incorrect.
Uh, Lorgers, Shining City.
There's just, there's hair in my mouth.
Uh, beautiful place.
Worship of the emperor all over.
Ultramarines burned it to the ground.
To be fair, they did evacuate everyone who would listen to them first.
Yeah.
Wasn't there like even a bit in one of the stories where like there's an Ultramarine
standing next to like an old woman who says like, I live here.
And he's like, please leave.
Just go.
Please.
We don't want to do this, but we will like, we're getting the bolters.
They are coming here.
Like go away.
We're going to blow up the city.
The ships are in orbit.
Please leave.
We're going to blow you up with it.
Which is, you know, the nicest you can make raising a city to the ground.
Uh, but thousands upon thousands still died.
Monarchia is past tense after this and, uh, the emperor, Forrest Lorgar and his whole
Legion of Neil for him and Gilliman, which, uh, you know, Gilliman for his part, didn't
question it, but you know, he talked to some of his officers.
He was close to like, I, I don't think I did the right thing.
I, this, this did not feel good.
This uh, and, uh, so with that, you know, once that's done, you know, Gilliman is a
little shaken by it, but in terms of, you know, forming his duty, he kept going about
the great crusade, did feel bad about Lorgar, wanted to somehow make, uh, you know, uh,
reparations, you know, come a little bit closer with his brother again, which is why,
like, wasn't it like 80 years later?
Like wasn't Monarchia like 80 years or something for the horse?
It was a while.
It was at least over 50.
It was a good few decades.
Was it 20 years that the world, the word bearers were sneakily speaking?
50 years, 50 years.
The following chaos, don't tell anyone.
Yeah.
Oh, well chaos.
So during that time, you know, Gilliman kept at it, you know, adding worlds diplomatically,
sometimes not so diplomatically, ultramarines performing their duty as well as anyone else.
When Gilliman, you know, and this will be kind of the ending point because it's about
to get into the Horus heresy as a certain things are happening across the galaxy.
Gilliman, you know, he doesn't know Lorgar's involved yet, you know, so Gilliman invites
Lorgar on the cusp of the Horus heresy to help them cleanse some orcs from a world.
He's like, you know what, this will be a good brotherly bonding exercise.
He's just like, we're going to kill someone.
You love killing orcs.
We all love killing.
Come on.
It's fun.
It's equivalent of going fishing.
At this point in the Imperium's history, that's about as brotherly something you can do between
the legions.
Like there's no humans.
Lorgar doesn't need to worry about converting them.
He doesn't need to worry about casualties.
There are orcs.
I've got to admit, it would be exceptional if I went fishing and one time I caught something
and I pulled it out and then you just start going, whoa, this is amazing.
Scary.
I love the idea of like, they think of like, we should hang out and like bond.
And they're like, yeah, what do you think?
We should do something different.
And then like, there's a long pause.
They're like, Denny's?
Want to go Critea again?
Like there's nothing else to do.
We also have a donation up here, fellas.
Main event, Virgil again.
Thank you very much.
Thank you brother.
Genuine question.
Would you ever do streams where you're just chilling and talking more casually, feeling
bad for Colin having to power through this?
We all very much.
This is great.
There's been a lot of donations as well.
I think our Wednesday streams are kind of like that.
But we're going to do more.
We'll probably have something like that one of these days, I'm sure.
So order prints, open strong with Lorgar Gha'ul he deserved.
And then follow up with I would be on Erebus's side.
What a rapid like, one of those Metro notes.
Lorgar has one fan.
I hope he dies.
As the Great Crusade is now coming to a close and the heresy begins, unfortunately for
Gilliman, he was not aware that by this point, Lorgar had a fully switched sides.
And he revealed it with the betrayal at Calth.
He drank the ruinous Kool-Aid.
A whole lot of Smurfs died.
Yeah.
How about we'll stop it there for the Smurfs because that's the heresy.
We can, this is kind of where the Ultramarines start their heresy, getting gut punched by
Lorgar.
Losing like a hundred thousand men and still being like, we still got large.
We're still the largest.
But not for me.
That's where we learned that the war born were always angry because Gilliman himself has
a bit of a temper.
But we'll get to that when we get to that.
Do you think, just finishing on Ultramarine, they do have some, is it called the, they
had to have a subset within them.
I don't know if they're still called the war born, but like they have a grouping that are
filled with like the more, I don't know how to say that, more warlike versions of them.
Like Gilliman divided the Legion into ways in which those are the same temperament were
together.
Yeah.
They did have the Nemesis company, which became the Nemesis chapter.
And then they had things like the Aurorans who they fought during Calth and they were
known as, Oh, the civilians saw them.
There was like an Aurora in the sky and they were like, that's some cool imagery.
Writing that down.
And they had like some bespoke ones where they were like, these are the psychopaths.
We'll put them together.
These guys are really bad at, you know, social gatherings.
We'll put them in a company.
And they did like go on to usually make their own chapter.
You can be cohesive as long as you're surrounded by like minded individuals.
The Legion kind of did that, like the Imperial Fist, all the ones who were just marshal,
and join the black Templars.
The Templar.
And with the introduction of second and 11th Legion, I have the idea of like Gilliman being
like, hello there son, what's your name?
He's like, you're not one of mine, but you're in a different company.
If the name doesn't sound Greco-Roman, you get put in another company.
Yeah, exactly.
What's your name?
You are in the, I don't know, 112th company.
My name is Steve Viniers.
You're not pulling anyone get out of there.
Leave.
C-47 says put all the Primarchs in Waffle House.
What happens?
They're getting the shit kicked out of them by a line cook.
Guy who will literally, his two feet will leave the floor and he will fly over the front
desk.
Immediately.
Cato Sicari is stomping that towel.
Come on, man.
You wouldn't hurt a Defensive Stimulant, would you?
Yes.
That would just happen every night in the Waffle House.
Stomp.
That was the 13th Legion though.
Andy, who's our next boys?
Okay, so we're already an hour of the way through, so I don't think we'll be here too
long with the next two.
Unlike the Ultramanians, I think it's a bit more straightforward in a lot of ways, but
the 14th Legion are the guys who would one day be known as the Death Guard, but during
the Unification Wars, they were known as the Dusk Raiders of Terror, and they were recruited
from the old war clans of Albia.
So basically, Terran Death Guard were Brits, basically.
British.
You go out to a Death Guard and say, excuse me, I'm ready.
They also took a lot of Albion recruits for use in the Night Lords and the Iron Warriors,
but that was before the Night Lords were cringe and they were full of Nostramans, so we're
not copping to that.
And all the cool members who were Terran in the Iron Hands died at Istvan V, so no more
Brits.
Shout out to my Tasty Boys.
Yeah, exactly.
You could have made a Dental Hygiene...
Oh well.
Dental.
I got it right, Chief, it's fine.
They were known, but the aspirants of old Albia were really well known as the inventors
of the proto-Dreadnoughts, known as Ironside Soldiers.
So we can thank them for Dreadnoughts, basically.
And the Emperor highly valued their courage and tenacity in battle.
And during the Unification Wars, he was fighting the warlords of Albia who'd killed, I think
the Dreadnoughts, the Something King, it's like the... not the Nameless King, that's
Dark Souls, but a Something King that was like a big tyrant.
They usurped him.
And then the Emperor's fighting these guys and he goes, you know what, this is a lot
of work.
I'm going to try peace.
So he basically said, hey guys, you're really annoying to fight because you're always just
like meat grinding against my Thunder Legion and that's really bad for me.
How about...
And he goes to their parliament.
He goes to their parliamentary walk...
He goes to the Tower of London and he goes, all right guys, you're really annoying, but
I'm going to do this thing called the Great Crusade.
It's going to be really neat.
If you join me, we'll split like the winnings.
And they went, all right.
And so they joined, you know, they just joined from there.
Good thing they weren't fighting the Nameless King.
Jagged I wouldn't have gotten the chance to kill Lord, to kill Mortarion.
Exactly.
But yeah, so even at this point, the 14th Legion were characterized as heavy infantry
specialists.
They were really disciplined, very stoic.
And even the Iron Hands Primarch Ferris Manus said, if ever I was to fight one of the other
legions, I don't want to fight the Death Guard.
He was just like, they're just, well, at this point the Dusk Raiders, he was like, they're
just so annoying because you could just shoot them and they don't fall back and they just
take it on the chin.
Like, didn't feel it, it's like your face is missing, it's like, no, I'm fine.
And they won't fall back.
They just step.
Tis but a flesh wound.
Yeah, they are the Black Knight from Monty Python.
So your arm's missing.
No, it isn't.
That's the Dusk Raiders.
They were unwilling to ever surrender territory when they were deployed into defensive positions.
They wore unadorned gray armor without any adornments apart from they like to paint their
right arm plating like dried blood red because they were known as the red right hand of the
Emperor.
And they also had a tendency to attack just as Knight was setting in.
So as defenders during unification wars were going to beddy-bys, got their little plushies
and oh, Knight, Barbar, Barbaray, I don't know, Barbarian.
Good night, Krug, good night.
And then all of a sudden you just hear like footsteps, say, what is that?
And you look on the horizon and the Dusk Raiders are just stomping forward.
Because they weren't Barbarian yet, they were actually very honorable.
If you surrendered, they wouldn't shoot you in the face.
They'd be like, oh, actually, surrender.
It's pretty neat.
I don't have to waste ammunition.
Go for it, mate.
That British man is coming in.
They always abided by cues.
They were always polite.
It's not the English Civil War in the background.
But they did hate mutations.
They did have psychers at this point, but they didn't like mutants.
They were like, icky, kill them.
So they also had pretty good gene seed.
As sons of Mortarion, they were very good at resisting poisons and mutations because
their bodies were adapted to be like, cringe.
They just repelled it.
So for eight decades, the Dusk Raiders are waging war during the Great Crusade after
the Unification Wars.
And they're eventually reunited with Mortarion on the planet of Barbarus.
And this is one of those occasions where having a Primarch for your Legion wasn't a good thing.
Gilliman, as the previous example, they went, oh, war born.
Oh, these guys are pretty cool.
I know where to use them.
By the way, lads, I've got 500 planets under my control.
I have an empire within an empire.
Mine's bigger than Dawn's, but it's smaller than dad's.
So you're like, okay, he's got a good amount of, you know, he's got a pretty big empire,
if you know what I mean.
And he's not shy about showing it off.
So that's a good thing.
That's a good thing with Gilliman.
Regal Dawn, again, he had an empire.
Very good.
Dad, look at my massive spaceship.
This big.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Phalanx.
Very big spaceship.
Yeah.
Phalanx.
Similar to the word phallus.
Coincidence?
I think not.
Anyway.
Regal Dawn's got a hog confirmed.
Yeah, he's got a hog and he calls it the wall.
Anyway.
Nice.
You will not get past the wall.
Anyway.
So basically, when the Dusk Raiders met Mortarion, it wasn't a very happy occasion.
Everyone who meets their Primarch has an okay time, unless you're the world eaters, where
it's like, hi, dad, he just flings you around the room.
Oh, why?
But Mortarion, they were like, he's this tall kind of a rose.
It's gonna be a bit weird.
He stinks, man.
He stinks even now.
And he's kind of depressing.
It's like, oh, dad, what are you known for?
And he's like, oh, I was like, I was Rapunzel in a tower from my childhood.
And then I lived on a stinky poison planet and I had to fight zombies.
And I have daddy issues.
Like, great.
So the Death Guard are now formed, named after the company that Mortarion used to liberate
Barbarus, which he didn't, he did a half job.
He didn't kill his dad.
Rookie skill issue.
You're not true, like, you know, emancipate your home world if you don't kill your dad.
That's just basic.
Emperor did it.
Loads of people did it.
It's in.
I mean, Jagatai didn't do it.
It's his dad, but he did it.
It's the guy who killed his dad, so it's better.
But anyway, the point is Death Guard are now a thing.
And they're basically saying Terran's a cringe, all this honor, all this stasis.
That's rubbish.
Let's just recruit only from Barbarus.
And we'll start to do things a bit differently.
Like, because Mortarion's whole thing was, I'm going to emancipate the galaxy.
And if you don't agree that I'm freeing you, I'm going to cut your head off with my big
war scythe because obviously you're the tyrant.
So at this point, the Terran start to die out as war wages on.
There's more Barbarans.
They're starting to, the pendulum swing, you know, the balance of the scale is going like
this.
And they start using things like viral contagions and nuclear warheads.
And anything that just gets the job done a bit quicker, because don't get me wrong, it's
just a prank, bro.
It's just a nuke, bro.
And it's like, not being funny, they were like, oh, librarians, we're getting rid of
them.
Oh, Terran chivalry, like huskars and stuff.
That's cringe.
That's bad.
We're going to keep the stubborn defiance, but we're going to add war crimes so that
it kind of helps.
Like, we can make a big wall against our enemy.
We can be shot at and don't care.
And then we'll just say, blow them up from space, please.
Excellent next fight.
And for the rest of the...
My favorite part was the fact that Mortarion says, listen, when we find an enemy that we
will struggle to beat, we're going to now strap engines to meteorites and use them as
shields, and then just launch them at the planets.
Despite, even if it works or not.
And the interesting thing about the Death Guard, though, the barbarians, is they had
like...
They saw Mortarion as the business.
They were like, dad is the coolest guy ever.
They had like a messianic complex of like, Mortarion, he dealt with so much and he's
so cool.
And I love nuclear warheads and Phosbeks.
So I think he's the bee's knees.
So they all became kind of like yes men.
And they basically just fought, our Primarch can do no wrong.
We're going to defend his use of like war crimes.
It's fine.
And the Terrans, again, they start dwindling and dwindling and dwindling.
And for the remainder of the Great Crusade, that's all they're really noted for.
They get rid of the psychers.
They're present during the Council of Nikea, which I'll mention in the next segment, where
Mortarion, he was raised by necromancers.
He hated psychers.
He hated anyone who had like mystic power.
And the Death Guard hated, the Dusk Raiders hated mutants, but they abided psychers.
They're useful.
Mortarion, no.
Mutations, that includes psychers.
Get rid of them all.
And I think because of the fact that they also, they never really adapted their combat
doctrines.
They kind of kept simple, kind of like the Iron Warriors, they never really got respect
from their peers.
They weren't the ultramarines.
They weren't the Sons of Horus.
They weren't as cool as the White Scarf one is.
And it's like, oh, is anyone's favorite legion the Death Guard?
And the appearance is kind of like, like if you had like a baseball card collection of
Primarchs and you like getting the holograms, you'd be like, oh, give me a Gilliman, give
me a Gilliman.
Oh, Dawn, that's fine.
You get Mortarion, like, you're never going to use it.
They were accused of like, they fought in a certain way to prove a point rather than
this is the best way to achieve victory.
Because like when they, to the Death Guard, they were like, a Pyrrhic victory, even if
it's like, we didn't need a Pyrrhic victory, you didn't need to do it that far.
They were like, man, what do you mean?
I've just got a victory.
Why are you not praising me?
And you're like, you look behind you and the entire like, Jeden house is burning and then
smells like chemicals and crap.
What do you mean I didn't do good?
Yeah, so they're like, what do you mean?
We literally just won and you're like, yeah, but if you took like an extra two months,
you could have kept all that infrastructure intact, but you didn't.
Yeah.
It's like, imagine calling an exterminator to get rid of like, infection of rats in your
house and you go, that's really annoying.
I'll call the Death Guard.
And they're like, all right, give us a few days and come back.
And you come back and like the house on fire, there's a hole in the wall.
Your car isn't like, there's just like a tire of your car.
All the flower beds are just dead.
They're like, right, we got rid of the rats.
It's like, all right, I'm not paying you.
So why are you not paying me?
Look at my house.
It's like, you paid us to get rid of the rats.
But my house, and that was kind of their modus operandi, it was victory at any cost.
We don't really care about.
They never went to the second part, which is after you win the battle, which is you
build civilization.
They never did that part ever.
No.
Which other legions would have done.
So the Death Guard were like, what do you mean?
We did like everything we were meant to do.
And you're like, yeah, yeah.
But other people are doing it better than you.
Yeah, even the Iron Warriors had like some culture.
And the Iron Hands, they'd be like, oh, I guess if we have to like, oh, I guess we need
to install a government.
Oh, it's so annoying.
I just want to go punch someone in the face.
Okay, guys, but we got to do it.
Death Guard, they didn't stop.
They were just like, battle to battle to battle.
And they would just be like, right, everyone's dead.
We're moving on.
And they didn't care about upkeep.
We should have mentioned earlier, the Iron Hands had a contingent of thousand suns and
ultramarines with them for most times, who actually probably helped them do all that
annoying politics stuff.
Yeah, like other legions figured out like, oh, we're not good at this.
Death Guard, no, I'll do it myself.
You know, it's like that scene in Scary Movie of the guy.
It's like, I can do it myself.
Okay.
They had some traditions, like the drinking of the poison.
Yeah, they whenever Mortarion, whenever the Death Guard won a campaign, Mortarion would
invite a particularly crucial officer or soldier who did like an amazing act of gallantry and
be like, all right, mate, we're getting out the nice cups.
We're going to put some poison in and we're going to toast our victory.
And it was the test of like, you drink it and you go, oh, it's horrid.
And Mortarion's a Primark.
He doesn't care.
But the Astartes are like, yeah, it was like next day.
It's like, oh, brother Greg, how you feeling?
He's like, I think I've got a sore throat.
It's like, yeah, you did drop.
You did like to draft all like Mortarion again.
Yeah, you're doing poison fireball with Mortarion.
But that's kind of all I wanted to say about the Death Guard.
They were just characterized as pretty brutal, unremittingly violent in a kind of stoic kind
of way.
They had some honor at the start when they were the Dusk Raiders, when they were Terrans,
when they were British, it was fine.
And then they became barbarans.
And then it was like, oh, war crimes.
We say how they point as we adopted the scythe as a weapon.
It's so impractical.
They were like, oh, my ascetic brother.
It is cool.
Yeah.
Not being funny, but silence is like one of the coolest Primark weapons.
It's just, yeah, it's just right.
And now it just smells like diarrhea, though.
And it's long.
The poison damage is the diarrhea smell you have to be sure while it's being next to it.
But other than that, the other legion to talk about is I believe you're a fan of this legion,
aren't you, a little bit Hal?
Mycopium, Magnus the Red can sit in a fire hydrant and make it disappear.
Am I right in thinking these?
Who's your favorite legion, Hal?
No, no, hang on, hang on.
It is Thousand Suns, Pre-fall of Prospero.
What do you mean by that?
You know exactly what I said.
Eye contact, one drop.
What?
He's magic, though, don't worry about it.
He's magic.
He makes it disappear.
It's in the...
A bunny will come out.
But the Thousand Suns, they were recruited from the Archimenaid Empire during the Unification
Wars.
And then, apparently, this empire of humanity wasn't at war with the Emperor.
They were one of the first who was just like, daddy, chill.
And they were just like, no, we're not going to resist.
It's not going to hurt us.
They're making like Zoroastrians, not literally, but as in like a Warhammer copy and pasted
version of...
I don't know if Colin, you know what Zoroastrianism is.
Just a brief exposures for people.
I mean, very brief.
I know.
Yeah.
I'll poke our history boy here.
It's just like...
In the areas like Persia at the time.
And it was popular with some Eastern Roman Empire soldiers at the time.
It's been a while since I've read much of this.
Hell, I'm afraid.
I do not have much.
They worship in front of fire.
As in like fire is where...
I can't remember if it's like if God or Zoroaster views stuff.
It's like a portal.
Fire is like a portal.
They don't worship fire.
Fire is like in the presence of Zoroastrianism.
Am I right in thinking Freddie Mercury's parents were Zoroastrians?
Yes.
Yeah.
That's how most people remember it.
Zoroastrians are the ones who...
Not to go full on history.
They're the ones I think he...
Some of them are in the Bible because they looked after the Jews way, way back in history
at some point.
Is it Darius?
King Darius or something?
I don't know.
I might be getting my history mixed up.
Sounds neat.
But if you look up Zoroastrianism, it is very like...
Oh, is this like Christianity?
It's quite similar to Christianity, but it's a lot older.
There's like concepts of like a god and then the devil like shaitan.
Do they have...
Is it shaitan or...
My knowledge of it is quite old at this point.
Interesting.
But they...
Yeah.
It's very...
You might not go into their religious talk too much, but it very much is like, I feel
like I've seen this before.
Isn't it?
It feels quite similar to...
Yeah.
Very cool.
But the...
That's basically how it's got started.
Yeah.
The interesting thing about them was they took the most powerful psychically gifted
aspirants from the Archimedes Empire and they train them beneath the Himalayan mountains
in the secret gene labs where they grew the Primarchs.
And the emperor was like, okay, we want to make a super duper psychic core of Marines.
This is our premier wizard faction within the space Marines.
And of course the...
The brothers have rejoked it.
It was Ahura Mazda, I think is God.
And then Ariman is the name of the devil, which obviously is...
Interesting.
All again.
This is where Ormuzd and Ariman, the twin brothers, were trained.
Ormuzd.
And so yeah, they were trained in the site by the emperor's people where the Primarchs
were first Vat-grown.
And eventually they got to be like a legion.
The emperor started to deploy them kind of sparingly because the emperor saw the value
of psychers.
But in his mind really, which is where he would eventually end up, was he thought the
only people I can trust to use psychic powers are me and Malkador.
Everyone else is susceptible to corruption.
Everyone else is a bit of a worst...
If you think of the Scoville scale of psychers, emperor is just like Ghost Pepper, just like,
don't care, don't care.
Malkador was like, it's got a bit of a heat to it.
Whereas everyone else is like, ah, milk, milk.
That's a way to think about it.
And to be fair, neither the emperor nor Malkador ever got corrupted by chaos.
So there is a bit of truth.
But then again, they were both perpetuals and Malkador possibly had a bit of help being
kind of like a conglomerate of several people in a weird clandestine order, which doesn't
exist anymore.
I don't know.
It was a bit shifty.
But the main point was he went, okay, well, if we're going to use psychers, let's give
it a shot.
We'll use the Thousand Sons.
Because of the niche they were filling, there wasn't that many of them, which is why they
were known as the Thousand Sons because the emperor was the one who named them.
And they did pretty well, especially against techno barbarians.
It's like, oh, they can't even get close.
If you had the Thousand Sons to the size of the ultramarines, it would be a wipe.
Super powerful Astarte psychers in those numbers would just destroy everything.
My favorite part is the fact that in the fall of Prospero, it took the entire legion of
the Space Wolves, Custodians, and Sisters of Scylla, the anti-psycho weapon, and they
still took ridiculous casualties against the Thousand Sons.
If it's a straight out 1v1 of all legions, the Ultramarines would probably win because
they got the numbers.
But if it was a level playing field, it'd be like...
If it's one legionary versus another, a Thousand Sons Psyche is way better than a Psyche of
any other legion.
Even with the Battle of Prospero, when they realized they were using the Silent Sisterhood,
they fell back and went, right, we're going to set up sniping positions and shoot them
from range.
We're going to do all these traps.
They were like a Swiss army.
And they ran with no helmets at them full power.
Yeah.
And unleashed the wolf and just ate their faces.
Oh no.
You can't beat feral Space Marines.
These poor tetanobarbarians are being inverted anus first and having their nerves stripped
from the form code.
And it's worth remembering that it's also like, it's not just a case of psyches shoot lightning
and fireballs.
They had a cult that was experts of communication.
So they could telepathically communicate to thousands of men at once.
They had a cult eventually, which was a healing cult, where, oh, I've been shot in the arm.
And then brother Apophicus just kind of goes, watch this.
Hey, it's healed.
Hey, let's go drinking.
It was like, they were really, really good at healing, combat, fire, like, like, missile,
magic missile, lightning, altering time.
If you were to have even Steven's legions, it would not be a contest.
The Thousand Sons would be the most powerful.
But the reason that you don't see more than a thousand of them, because there's a bit
of a cost of being a psycho.
We had to get nerfed, man.
Yeah, you had to put the patch in afterwards because it was a bit unbalanced.
And then games were actually went, that's a bit overpowered.
Okay.
So as they embarked across the Great Crusade, their powers continued to grow.
And for, I believe it was about five years, everything's going great.
They're winning over planets, not just through force, but they're also using their powers
as like, they're doing diplomacy, but they're also manipulating people's, they're doing
like the Jedi mind tricks, like, you want to give over your entire population.
I want to give my entire population to the Imperium.
That's what they did.
But as their powers grew, something called the flesh change happened, which is basically
like a mutation that turns you into like an abomination is the best way to put it.
Big spindly limbs, howling like a beast, multiple eyes, blood and viscera everywhere erupting
from ceramite.
And you're going, that doesn't look good.
And even though they kept building their numbers, this was happening a lot.
And the emperor went, ah, shit, the experiment's doomed.
Oh no.
Luckily though, the thousand suns eventually found a planet called Prospero.
And there was a guy on this planet called Magnus the Red.
And Magnus was actually communicating with the emperor since he was like a little Baba
through psychic projection.
Because he was so powerful, he was actually communicating with the emperor the whole time.
All the other, like, whilst the lion was eating raw meat in the jungles of Caliban, and Horace
was getting really good at playing poker in the gang hives of Cephonia, and Gilman was
learning how to like read every book in Ultramar and do governance.
Reading about what fun is.
Yeah.
And reading about the concept of fun on a mechanical level.
And Conrad Kers was crying and eating people.
Magnus was kind of having a chat with his dad.
He was being mentored on how to hone his psychic potential, going for journeys through the
great ocean, as he called it.
Meanwhile, the emperor being like, right.
Kind of like that idea of, again, like the school kid being left at school, and the emperor
going like, all right, I'll see you in 17 years.
Just like behave.
I'll be keeping in contact.
You're giving you like a phone call every few days.
Don't go in the warp too deep.
It's a bit too small.
It's like, you know, if you had like a big swimming pool and you left a kid at like a
hotel, bear with me.
It's like an allegory.
It's like, okay, you don't want to be swimming in the deep end.
It's dangerous.
I want you to like, you can go in the pool, but don't stay shallow end.
Be careful.
Put your sunscreen on while it's warm.
I'll see you in a few years.
And then dad eventually arrives at Prospero and 1000 Sons aren't looking too good.
The emperor kind of just goes, what can I say?
We've had to call a lot of these guys.
They keep turning into these monster things.
All right.
Good luck.
And for a while, the 1000 Sons are just left at Prospero whilst Magnus figures out what's
going wrong.
And eventually Magnus thinks, I've got an idea.
This obviously is some kind of warp derived infection or mutation.
I'll go into the great ocean and find an answer.
And then he just happens to find this creature in there.
And he's just like, oh, yeah, mate.
You're right.
Yeah.
I'm just chilling.
Just chilling in the great ocean.
How are you doing?
Yeah.
Oh, your sons are in a lot of pain.
That's a shame.
Maybe I can help you with that, Magnus.
All right.
What do you want?
Can I have one of your eyes?
So then Magnus gouges out one of his eyes and gives it to the creature.
And the creature's like, all right, mate.
Cool.
Lovely.
Okay.
No more curse.
Jobs are good and cool.
Dr. Crocodile's done deal apparently.
All right there, mate.
Just give me your eye.
Fix your legion.
All right.
Yeah.
That's not an eye.
That's an eye.
Oh, that's not a flesh kiss.
But basically we don't exactly know the details, but Magnus sacrificed his eye and something
else maybe to cure his gene sons.
One of the...
And he doesn't know.
Arriman's brother.
He sacrificed Arriman's twin brother.
Yeah.
Well, he'd already died, hadn't he?
He was a captain in the thousand suns.
Did he get the flesh change?
He got the flesh change.
Yeah.
During their campaigning.
Oh, he wasn't dead.
But he was...
I think they cryopros a lot of them.
Yeah.
They were like, oh, we're about to...
My dude is literally like, he's bulging, but not in the way we like.
So his flesh is leaking out of his armor.
Oops.
So they went in, chucked him in cryo sleep.
He's getting swole, but not in a cool Eli way.
Like a combination kind of way.
My dude's a space marine and he should not have cankles, okay?
That's not spray on bronze tan.
That's dry blood and viscera.
This is not good.
Someone did ask, Jake Thornton asked, why didn't the thousand suns use the same protection
from being mutators, the gray knights?
Basically when they're in their tubes or when they were going gene seed stuff, there was
a warp storm that like, surprisingly happened at the same time as when the thousand suns
were basically being turned into a legion.
It was most likely, or it was Zech who basically went, infection.
So the infection is within every single thousand sun.
Yeah.
There was like weird fun going on on Terra and the emperor was just kind of like, it's
probably nothing.
It's fine.
Weird stuff's going on.
But yeah, so Magnus makes this deal with this creature in the great ocean and doesn't read
the fine print.
And for a while, to be fair, things are actually not going too badly.
The thousand suns are like, oh, that's nice.
We're not dying in droves from the flesh change.
Amazing.
I guess we can do compliance with our brother legions.
They do this thing where they send like a detachment of like usually a captain of each
of the different cults to a different legion on secondment.
So like for example, I think it was, it might have been Phocis to cut, no, it was one of
the captains was sent to the emperor's children just to like, they wanted to accrue knowledge
so they could become one of their captains of each one.
I think Ahriman went to the iron warriors and they would learn something from their
brother legions, come back and go like, here's what I found out.
One of the captains, the one who was sent to the emperor's children, he was quite beautiful.
And so Fulgrim was like, you're pretty hot.
And he's like, cheers, bro.
And he gave him like a, like a, like a handwritten equivalent of like an oath of moment, like
a purity seal or something.
And he always wore it because he was like, I don't want to brag, but the Phoenician thinks
I'm pretty cool.
So yeah.
And they started, they started to get like quite well known and like the iron warriors
are like, you're kind of weird, but I respect that you can kill a lot of people pretty good.
And Ahriman's like, thanks, Forix.
And again, like Magnus had a good relationship with Paderabo.
One wanted to learn the, the, the mysteries of Arcana.
The other wanted to learn the mysteries of like the mechanical.
So they, they had like that kind of familiarity of like trying to uncover secrets and stuff.
And for a while, it's going pretty well.
They're one of the smaller legions, but they're super powerful.
So whenever they go on, like, especially now with a Primarch, thousand suns land on your
planet, it's not going to take long.
But yeah, we're hurling meteors at you or manipulating your politicians to do as we
say, or we're healing your leprous children through acts of magic.
And you're going, Oh, what can, whatever can we do to help?
Join the Imperium.
However, after a few years, the thousand suns start to do some campaigns in the Aguru and
Arcreach cluster sectors of space.
And they start to fight alongside the space wolves.
And at the time they're actually going on, they're getting on quite well.
The space was actually quite like them for a little while.
And after the Aguru campaigns done, the space wolves, it's like a small detachment of space
was there and they say, ah, the Wolf King's doing a campaign in the Arcreach cluster with
the word bearers.
You want to come and help out?
And they're like, I don't have plans.
So they go and help.
And they go on this planet, compliance is kind of difficult.
It's two legions already there and it's kind of annoying.
And eventually they find this big repository, like a library of knowledge and thousand suns
being a bunch of book nerds.
They're like, I want to read some books.
So they start to go, okay.
Let's abandon the fight.
Let's go get the books.
Well, it's like, Oh, while we're here, how about we like cordon off the library, make
sure it doesn't get better, Chris, because we know what, Bjorn's like, Oh, that flamer.
It was inside the space.
Yeah.
So they're, yeah, they weren't, to be fair, they were also like, they weren't, but they,
but again, to be fair, one likes to like the word bearers like to burn a lot of books.
The space wolves like to eat them.
So it's not a good combination and like preserving knowledge.
They go, that's okay.
We'll just, we'll just send a few people to cordon us off.
Eventually the space was come knocking like, Oh, you see the map.
This is our, this is our bit.
I was like, Oh, it's okay.
It's just, it's just a library.
It's just a library.
And they're like, um, nah, mate.
That's full of that.
Bear is full of like cringe, bad knowledge.
Yucky.
Bad.
Don't read it.
It's tainted.
Bad.
Yuck.
It's naughty material and not the furry kind.
Disgusting.
Yeah.
Exactly.
That's like, that's like, that's like dark web books.
Don't read them.
It's bad.
They're just, just, just, just to read through them and see if there's any insight.
No, mate.
Heresy.
That's bad.
Eventually the two come to blows.
They don't actually like kill any space wolves.
They just like, the space will just kind of like push into them.
Like rugby tack, like a wall of just burly Sarah, Mike, and just kind of like trying
to push them over.
They do start killing some of the wolves.
They have a shield one.
They're like the space walls have a real shield wall and they're like, and the thousands
have a psychic shield wall.
They're all at their hands while these space wolves are like headbutting against a barrier.
One half.
It's a season of the series Vikings.
The other side, it's like force push.
Just that scene with Anakin and Obi-Wan doing that with their hands.
And a few wolves, actual wolves die.
And the thousand suns try to like knock out a bunch of the space wolves using psychic
powers.
Like maybe I can just shut the blood flow to their brain.
Imagine like a rear naked choke, but psychically say, ah, we'll knock them out for a few minutes.
So calm them down.
And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, one of them starts getting a bit of a flesh change
going and they're like, ah, oh, not this again.
And all of a sudden this guy becomes a monstrosity.
And so it's him and him and him and the space was one of the, yeah, I think it's more like
one transforms and the others are like, ah, we're going to change.
We're going to change.
And then the Lehman Russ arrives and he's like, what is that?
Bang, bolt around to the face.
Magnus is not very happy that one of his men has been shot to death by the wolf king.
But to be fair to Lehman Russ, what is that?
And from that point on, they're getting closer to like knocking each other out.
Lorgar gets between the two and is like, calm down.
Calm down.
I'm starting to.
Daddy, brother's chill.
And he's just like in the middle.
I know it's a weak one, but please stop fighting.
Daddy's going to get upset.
Stop it.
And eventually Lehman's like, all right.
I kind of respect Lorgar a bit.
Fine.
But I'm telling dad.
So Lehman tells dad and dad's not very happy because Psyche is turning into flesh.
Like he bases his Magnus.
I thought you handled this.
It's like, I did handle this.
How did you handle this again?
Oh, don't worry about it.
I figured it out.
It's like, well, you didn't do a good job.
And then Lehman's like, right, we need this whole Psyche business.
Not that I have any Psyche is in my Legion, but this whole Psyche business is not going
well.
We need to put an end to this.
And Mortar is like, I agree.
What's that Colin?
Got a donation from Caleb Collins.
Donations.
There's one bid back.
They're both from Caleb Collins, actually.
This one is Grammaticus did nothing wrong and will return.
That's a take.
That's right, baby.
That's right.
The other one was Conrad was based, Magnus a fool and Lehman a fury.
Furry.
Furry, yeah.
He might be a fury master.
He was cool.
He had an exceptional taste in leather.
But yes, too bad it was human leather.
But yeah, basically, Lehman Russ in the space will say Psyche are bad news, not that we
use Psyche at all.
We derive our powers from Fenris.
It's totally different, guys.
Certainly different.
Death Guard at this point are already like, hey, we don't like Psyche at all because Mortar
even said so.
And the Raven Guard are just kind of they're like, I don't like them either.
Someone please notice us.
Yeah, they just involved.
So they say, hey, we need to stop this.
So all of a sudden, the Council of Nikea happens.
And this is just before the outbreak of the Horus heresy by a few years.
But in Warhammer has this thing where it's like, this happens, and then a few years pass.
And everyone just thinks, oh, the next day this happened.
But they start to say, OK, we're going to have a conclave of should we use Psyche or
not.
On the defense, you've got the White Stars, Thousand Suns is the main one.
And a couple of smaller legions, like I'm sure some Blood Angels, maybe some ultramarines,
just go, I don't mind.
Some of the Primarchs like Rogal Dawn, they didn't care either way.
But Magnus did his best to say, Dad, I don't know if you noticed, we've been doing a really
good job.
We haven't been killing as many as the other legions because we can manipulate the populace
to do what we want.
And we're doing all this healing arts.
And we're starting to really get the hang of this warp stuff.
We've only been at it for a few years.
But give us a bit more time.
We'll teach other Imperial citizens how to use the warp.
And then we can get our equivalent of Medicare for all.
But with Psyches, and it'll be like, we'll have an NHS for every planet in the solar
system.
And we'll do all this stuff.
And we'll make fireworks.
And it'll be cool.
And then, yeah, yeah, cool, Magnus.
And then Death Guards, I was raised by a necromancer and I'm not over it.
Thanks, Mortarion.
And then Ophir Weirdmake of the Space Wolves, who'd been hanging out with Ahriman for a
while, is like, they're using Malif-i-Kharim.
They were protecting fel knowledge on this planet.
And also, we saw this thing happen to one of them with this flesh change malarkey.
And that's bad.
And that was just all the emperor really needed to know.
He's like, right, the flesh change is back.
I'm calling it quits, right?
I was right.
Only me and Malkador can be trusted.
Magnus continues to not do as he's told.
He keeps going a bit too deep in the pool.
I've had enough.
And so he tells the Thousand Sons and all the other legions, no more librarians.
We're keeping astropaths within navigators, but psyches aren't allowed.
It's too dangerous.
And the Thousand Sons go back to Prospero and have a bit of a sulk, because if you think
about it, that's their whole shtick.
Without their psychic powers, they're nowhere near as specialized as the other legions.
They can't compete with the other legions in combat without their psychic powers.
There's less of them than any other legion.
And they just can't catch a break.
And this would lead to eventually Magnus hearing of Horde Lupercal's betrayal and trying to
fix everything, but in the end being the catalyst that ruins everything humanity ever does from
henceforth for the rest of time.
And that's the Thousand Sons.
And then one of them gets glassed by Magnus because he's trying to warn the others about
Prospero.
Yes.
Why are you protecting the space wars?
Why am I seeing people wandering around who usually monitor the equipment to check for
invaders?
And they just watchmen with the end with Rorschach and he just pops.
Poor guy.
Magnus is bad.
Two donations.
A good one from Tom Warren.
GW wasn't brave enough to add Saint Nick punching Magnus at their Council of Nicaea.
Very true.
The base Saint Nick.
And then the Scandinavian name.
Say Glossineer.
Something like that.
Shout out to the Great Crusade Thousand Sons for having an ironic straight up demons as
familiars that they thought were just cute little friends.
Yeah.
Yeah, they didn't realize they were.
They were nations, guys.
Properly evil.
I feel so, I'm so gutted every time.
It gets me every time.
Every time.
Because it's like-
I agree every time.
I miss them.
I think because the Thousand Sons are like kind of the human equivalent of what is like,
I think probably Eldar in terms of like total mastery of psychic potential mixed in with
like martial prowess.
But then they just have to get nerfed by stupid councils named after historical inmates.
Yeah, so I like the Thousand Sons a lot.
The 30k ones though.
Because they're so, there's only one bit I just do miss.
I miss when they, I think it's the Lunar Walls.
One of them they describe like to the wise are like, oh yeah, we fought with the Thousand
Sons at one point.
And then all their scores were just like floating up to different levels and like blasting people
with like hand palms psychic powers.
And they said it was like amazing to watch them and they felt really bad.
Like as because they were like being outperformed.
But then one of them just started like convulsing and then they just ran away from the entire
fight and then they like hit him away and they wouldn't say what happened.
So they were like, so they thought they were cowards.
Or like something happened.
Or like one of them was sick and the space marine being sick was crazy.
He disappeared in a cringe way.
Not like the Blood Angels when all of a sudden one of them disappears and we don't know why.
But he fought pretty good.
Not a sanguineist.
Eddacombs, thank you again for the donation.
He says Darth Jar Jar versus Magnus the Red in Cringy.
He is Darth Jar Jar, not cringy though.
That's genuinely terrifying and I don't sleep well.
He's in Lego Star Wars.
Is he really?
Not Darth Jar Jar.
Wait, really?
I think so.
I've heard that.
Sounds like maybe it was like a mine.
I'm pretty sure.
Because we were talking about Glowshadow a while back.
It auto fills that thing.
That's dangerous.
Oh no, it is official.
Did he really put it in?
Oh no.
All the things that Disney is doing with Star Wars at the moment, that's better than...
Look that's kind of funny.
I'll give it that.
It is Lego Star Wars.
Yeah, if they're going to do it, put it in Lego Star Wars.
That's where it's...
One of the best games they ever made.
Amen.
I will say that with what we've talked about today, in terms of like horrors, heresy books,
there's a few amongst these that are unfortunately quite skippable.
There's a few ultramarine ones where like some ultramarine characters are prominent,
but it's not really as Legion focused.
Death Guard ones, they're barely in...
They're in good books, but they're not actually the main characters of a lot of books.
I did enjoy the buried dagger, but that's literally the last book in this book, 54.
And it's splitting time with the Knights Errant.
So it's like half of it's Death Guard, half of it's Knights Errant.
Half of it's foundation of Grey Knights.
That's a good one.
The book, A Thousand Suns.
I really liked that book just because it feels like an actual epic fantasy, although it is
long.
Like so much happens in that one.
It's just so long.
I think that was like the second Horace Heresy book I ever read when I was like 13 years
old and it was on a camping trip.
It's weird nostalgia.
Yeah.
And I get upset when I read the Magnus scenes because he's such a smug cock.
Learning a prosperity is good because they kill a load of them.
That's good fun.
I do like the part where he almost gets glassed by a Eldar Titan and he just can't hack it.
They fight two Eldar Titans that are not in their full form.
And then the Red Worm.
They fight the Eldar Titans and Magnus thinks he's so cool and he ends up taking a body
blast by one of them.
And one of the Thousand Sun guys steps in front and just like shields him slightly,
but he's just like, oh my God, I almost died from that.
And then the rest of the Thousand Suns managed to, with the space wars, put them down, but
after they lose like so many people.
But yeah, Magnus was picking out the Magnus Primarch book.
I like parts of it, but I just felt it was unnecessary.
It's not a problem here, is it?
Or even Primarch?
No, is that like quite like, you don't, I like the bit because there are some parts
in it where like he felt pain for the first time because he wasn't prepared to feel it.
Like he never felt physical pain until someone tank shot him through his gut.
And there's like, it's one of those books where like there's cool scenes in the book,
but I wouldn't read that book again.
Cause I'm like, I don't feel like I need to.
I didn't love it.
It was all right.
I liked it, but I wouldn't love it.
My favorite thing was again, the little buddy cop thing going on with Armin and Forex where
it's like, there's one bit where Forex, Armin's like, right, I'm going to have to leave my
body now, protect me.
And Fox is like, okay.
And just like an Iron Warrior standing next to...
What did you say?
Leave his body.
He goes limp.
And Forex is defending him like, nerds.
And he's just like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
It's good fun.
Yeah.
I just like that one by the way.
Biggie says, Biggie wanted Magnus to sit on Colin's gun.
True.
This is the true golden throne, baby.
I'll just finish off.
I liked Thousand Sons a lot just because they seem so genuinely different from most of the
rest of the other legions.
Strong cult, like a very strong Legion culture, interesting home world, interesting characters
and then interesting Legion structure and unique power and stuff like that.
But I mean, the 40k stuff is still nice, but again, it's a shame.
Because there's so many other things in 40k, which is just like so good.
You're like, it just falls into the neat category.
I must say, if you want to read a good Death Guard one as well, get Flight of the Eisenstein.
Perfect.
Yeah, classic.
You see the bad side and the good side of Death Guard between Garrow and...
What's his name?
Grilgore.
And you kind of see the strife going on between the two sides of it, the Terrans and the Barbarans,
which is a good book.
I like that one.
I'm with Colin recently.
I've been really feeling the need for more Xeno stuff, genuinely.
All the time, bro.
The need never goes away.
Nah, I've been vibing with this.
I can't read the Path books still for the Eldar, though.
GW, you just need to find a way to like, I don't mind if it's versus Space Marines, just
get him in there.
Please.
Just get him in.
Like I was saying, we kind of mentioned it in one state, scrounging for Eldar dubs has
now been relegated to Caiaphas Cain books.
Yeah, it's been used.
It's tough.
It's a thing like, the lore books, like The Horrors of Heresy is designed in a way to
push product, which is the Horrors of Heresy line.
If you don't want to sell more models, they make them look good.
Not Cody has.
They make them look good, and then they put lore with it so then people will...
The sole reason some things sell better is because the books they're associated with
are good.
Well, we have so many Tau books.
There's a lot of Tau content.
Farseid books are the reason that Farseid on Close does so much.
Well, that's the thing.
I've just been working through Shadow Sun, and I've got the two Bill Kelly Farseid books
I've heard.
Some people don't like those books.
Yeah, some people really don't like them.
I'm not sure why, but maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention when I read them,
but some people think they've ruined Farseid's character or something like that.
I don't know.
They're on the list.
I like them.
I did too.
But maybe that's just because I'm desperate for Xeno's lore as well.
Shout out to when Eli did a three and a half hour part of my entire font size.
I did find some more Gene Steeler cult books that I'm looking forward to reading too, but
I gotta get through.
Necrons get a lot of content, but every other Xeno's faction just gets screwed.
One day when the Eldar are part of a launch box.
The Eldar need a renaissance like the infinite and divine and twice dead king.
When they did a good push for the Necron, they need something like that for the Eldar.
I think if they just do something like the Path books, then that would probably work
well because I think the Path books were apparently cool.
I do need to read them though, so I could be wrong, but they look cool.
I'm about to say I've been missing this day in Ka'Band's mighty shlong of some sort.
I'm waiting for a Belacor book or any Demon book.
I need to learn my Belacor lore.
I don't know anything about that.
He does show up in some things.
He is side character energy the character.
Caleb Collins thinks $2.20 donation.
Clone Fulgrim could steal the last chrome sword.
Yeah, if only, I wish Clone Fulgrim would come back.
He exists for Fabius Biles storyline.
He doesn't exist to be a part of the setting.
He exists for Fabius Biles character development.
The AA guys did just make a comic and little video on that.
It's not coming back.
You know what?
If it's still canon, they might do something with it one day.
He's just in Trezen's fun box.
Yeah, which no one ever really gets out of.
You are not leaving the fun box.
He has a Primarch though, so I mean.
He didn't put her in the real fun box.
He put her in just a random Tesseract Labyrinth.
It's like if you can get out, it's for you.
She was on his Pokemon belt.
We just like.
Grey Facts.
She was on his shit.
Oh no, I was thinking the one before Grey Facts.
Who was that?
When he wrote the letter to the five Kanekan regiments.
Alia.
Oh yeah.
A something.
Yeah.
Even then you only get out of the fun box if he lets you out.
Yeah.
For your Aura Kan.
Belichord did get owned by Aram and he's in the Aramon second book.
If you want Belichord content, I'm afraid you will.
I'm not afraid at all.
Go to Age of Sigmar.
Yeah he's there.
He's actually cool there.
I think I would say for all the donations that were tonight, thank you so much, brother.
There's been a lot of love.
We appreciate that.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much, you guys.
We've almost finished the great crusade stuff.
We have three legions to go.
Three more legions.
Ones I think Colin pros and like any of them.
So that'll be even more fun.
I know there's salamanders are there, aren't they?
It's going to be Suns of Horus, Wordbearers and Alpha Legion.
Oh, Wordbearers baby.
Is the Vulcan Primark book any good?
No.
Okay.
That's too bad.
No salamander book is ever good apart from the really old ones.
That's the curse of the salamanders and dark angels, isn't it?
They're not allowed to have good books.
The book angels have some good books.
Excepting the lion book.
That's not a dark angel book though.
I mean, that's a lion book.
There's like a, there are some like audio anthology, like some, like they have like
a Raven garden, dark angel and stuff like that.
The dark angels are kind of fun.
But again, everyone is like the fallen, the fallen, the fallen, the fallen.
So like, could we, although I didn't really enjoy the cipher book.
That was good.
I enjoyed that.
I do want to read that.
I enjoyed my cipher lore.
Yeah.
It was really fun.
Cause it was the Imperium fighting itself.
Or we do more Xenos and one more fantasy soon though.
Cause we're, we're vibing on that.
Yes please.
Vampire counts.
I think, thank you.
I'll go, sorry.
Either some more fantasy firesides or try that sci-fi story time one day.
Endless space, endless space, endless space.
Dead space.
Dark Souls.
Oh, Dark Souls, brother.
I'm playing.
Can I give you some poses?
Big shout out to horse fuck valley.
Put this guy in the base first and then maybe I will DJBs.
Anyone who knows Dark Souls 2 knows what I just said.
And they've been sent through Vietnam flashbacks.
Don't get my name wrong.
It says Eli hit the gritty.
Damn this is gritty.
If you donate bro, I'll actually hit the gritty.
I'm not a coward.
You hear it?
Foscape boys.
Foscape boys?
What's Foscape boys?
Foscape is a TV series.
It's good fun.
I'm trying to, I'll go ahead and say that my god.
Damn Eli's big.
Why is that just my full name there?
Is this, is this the gritty?
Oh, here we go.
That one.
Yeah.
Kind of like.
See, showing calling in the.
Oh yeah.
Eek.
It's funny.
Here's a side tricep.
Just show it off now.
The muscles are not for the girls.
I thought the boys, okay.
You like gritty, I'll gritty again.
There's no women here.
It's like dance.
Dance.
Damn.
Can't even see the left side.
Guys don't go to the gym for women.
They go to the gyms so they can impress other boys at the gym.
Yeah literally.
It's truly, truly true.
I think that's the way it is.
Yeah.
That being said, I think everyone, again,
thank you so much for everyone who donated throughout the episode.
People were very, very generous today.
Yeah.
Yeah, thank you.
We are.
I'm surprised we get so much. It's so nice.
Got more stuff coming soon.
Got some.
Fantasy fireside.
But it's slightly different.
We're keeping it a bit secret for the moment.
But we would love to do more of that next year.
I mean, we're not going to do much of that.
We're going to do some, yeah,
we're going to offshoot into some other things.
Cause I think.
I love you, obviously brothers.
We appreciate you.
Do like war hammer stuff, but I'm sure.
It's quite a few of you who have come from other things.
We did some halo stuff.
Not long ago and people were.
I got the knowledge from some of you lot about halo.
Crazy.
Truly, truly.
Every reference was understood.
So we're going to do some other.
all the quizzes go like good stuff coming soon.
Oh, it says, main event,
it says I'd like to see Colin do some more video game reviews.
I miss your Mandalore.
I'm not gonna get that.
It's a good idea.
Warhammer games, I'll do that.
Other general video game stuff,
that'll probably be another channel sometime in the future.
Mandalore.
Yeah, Mandalore has been around a while
and he kind of has it down, if you know what I mean.
Mandalore from Wish will return one day,
just not to...
He'll return for Space Marine,
but then he's gonna go hibernate until I make a second channel
or another good Warhammer game comes out,
which is infrequent, but it does happen.
Cosmic Stato with the Horned Rat.
Oh, fuck, Mandalore from Wish might be coming back soon.
I've been thinking about making a Dungeons and Deadlyths D&D lore.
Oh, man, 100%.
Indy has cool lore.
Mandalore from Wish, that's fucking funny.
I mean, hey, I'll take Mandalore from Wish.
That's an honor.
Yeah, so thank you everyone who donated,
everyone who's watching, everyone just,
if you've made it this far, if you liked it,
and if you're subscribed and even if you're not subscribed.
I'm not in prep anymore, so I can eat various things on stream now.
Eli's being fed.
The egg can come back.
You're gonna eat a live chicken next time.
I think with, obviously, remember the question that we,
was hashtag, was it reasons or reason?
Well, I think it's reasons.
I had my reasons kind of thing.
I have my reasons for uniting all of Terra
for the fact that we could yell at one guy in particular
in Wisconsin or something.
Whatever you want, brothers, make it funny if you can.
And I think that being said,
we'll probably catch you guys next week or we'll see you soon.
Thank you.
Cheers, brothers.
Love you.
Bye, everyone.
Bye.
Take care.
Bye.