INTRO MUSIC
Oh no!
I think I've lost the plot.
Why did you have to go from the back?
Okay, we're live.
Oh, wonderful.
I hope you were live.
Sorry everyone.
Hello everyone, welcome back to Law Crimes.
Today we have a very special guest.
It's Dreadanon!
Whoa! Where?
I don't see him.
This is what I look like I guess.
Nobody dogs me!
Okay?
Nobody dogs me!
That's my line in the sand.
Please don't dogs me.
I'm already going low.
Oh no.
He needs sugar.
It's not the candy bar.
This guy needs Fortnite.
It's not fucking unmade you animal.
From this kind of a view.
Mine is also unmade.
So, you know.
DJ Beast in the comments is always on Collins.
Where's my edit?
I'm waiting for the new edit DJ Beast.
DM to me and everything.
Okay.
What are we talking about today?
Today is a tier list about 40k games.
All Warhammer games.
First of all.
That we can remember.
Oh my gosh.
The gang's all here.
The ones we can find.
Andy can you add a never played tier?
Because I feel like there's going to be a couple.
Okay, hold on.
Let me just figure this out.
I wouldn't have played any of the boomer ones before the first Dawn of War.
Yeah, same.
I'm a hacking zoomeroid.
I'm just on the cutoff I think.
No, Andy.
No, no, no.
Make that D again.
We're going to do it again.
Every time.
What have I done?
I've fixed it.
Leave me alone.
I'm trying my best.
Why is D green?
Is that conventional?
Yeah, someone who's colorblind.
Red, green colorblind.
Okay, first.
Okay, so Colin, we're starting off strong.
What the hell is this that you told me to put on this list?
Shadow of the Horned Rat.
What is that?
Oh, I've never played it. I just know what it's like.
That's a good start.
What a great start.
I know that some of the cutscenes in it were used in a...
Was it Carl the Deranged who made those goofy...
those Skaven animations?
In Eliphas?
Yeah, there were some funny animations on it where dwarfs were an elf for about three minutes straight.
That's not the Eliphas?
The one from Dawn of War as well?
No, like the one from The Fancy Inheritor?
Yeah.
He's a character.
It's also the YouTuber.
These are different animations.
I've never played it though.
Different realities.
Couldn't speak as to the actual gameplay of it.
Let's just say it's really good.
I'm sure it's really good.
You're grateful that we're having fun.
All my Skaven posting has led to this.
I'm sure it's great.
I'm willing to put it in D tier.
Because it exists.
No, it might be good.
But none of us have played it.
We can't.
There's already a dog in my door.
Is that a metaphor?
No, it's the dog.
The bed is made for the dogs.
Hey, Chaotic Voices is here.
Hello, Chaotic. How are you?
Oh, Chaotic Voices!
The man himself.
I can't see the chat.
He says that people never ask how is a Dreadnought.
Someone said, what is a Dreadnought?
He said, never ask how a Dreadnought.
I'm doing just fine.
I mean, I'm dead.
And I'm in a big metal coffin.
And I go around stumping people.
I'm just dead.
This isn't a real place we're talking to right now.
This is my servitor.
He happens to look very much like me.
But he is not me.
Next one, though, is Dornivore.
Is this the original Dornivore?
Indrik Boryeo!
Indrik Boryeo is here.
Overrated.
I will say, going back and playing the original Dornivore, as I have recently, the pathfinding is really bad.
All my little guys, they just go everywhere.
It's like hurting chickens with some sort of implement.
It needed mods bad.
Yeah, I haven't played it and modded for a long time, I'm not going to lie.
But Indrik Boryeo.
I'm only going to leave it in A to just simply because I know what will be coming later.
Yeah, the story is really good.
And it broke new ground!
So we've got to put it up there.
I would give it S here for the fact that I click on a ranged unit and I tell them to shoot the enemy and then they walk five feet up to the enemy and then start punching them.
It's like, no, you have a gun.
We got a donation from Joseph Pollard for $10. Thank you very much.
Wow!
Let's go! Dread and On Face reveal! Is anyone of the crew playing Dragon's Dogma 2?
Yes! It's the best! It's the best game of all time!
And It Snow is my daddy. And I love him.
I've unfortunately only ever heard about the microtransactions. You know, it's alright if...
Shut up! They don't do nothing you can't do in-game!
It's a big nothing burger!
I'm a proud member of the Dragon's Dogma 2 Defense Force and you will feel my wrath when I post your text on V and then everyone gets mad at you.
Is the character creator as good as the first one? Because I've seen photos of the first one, like how extensive it is.
I think some people kicked up a fuss about how the height is more limited or something, there's a narrower range of body types, but there's a lot more sliders and you can change a lot more things.
I've seen people make one-to-one recreations of themselves and besides how creepy that is, it's really impressive. So that's my two cents. Also get it, it's great. It Snow, put me in your game.
We're all gonna be opposed by AI the next...
What a dumb career this was!
To be fair, I did see a video recently of someone showing there's an editing software AI that can edit a video within real time. So you could have an AI script, an AI voice and an AI edit so you actually don't need to.
I did see a channel yesterday that's rising through the Warhammer ranks and I was just like, I don't know where the AI content starts and the person doing it begins.
Yeah, I saw that too. It was just like an AI voice reading the editing of all the images and I was like...
One Mind Syndicate.
No.
That's not...
I knew it, Sean.
Just leave him alone.
So that we could sprint.
It was unnecessary.
They really did.
Anyway, Dawn of War 2.
I like Dawn of War 1 more than Dawn of War 2.
But it doesn't have my mood, honestly.
Yeah, I don't like Dawn of War 2.
I like it just as much as the original. I gotta say, it's a different beast.
But I think it does what it says to do really well.
Yeah, I'm fine with each other. If it wasn't Dawn of War, if it was Warhammer 40k something else, we'd all probably put it much higher up, I think.
It really isn't the first game which it should have been.
It's A tier to me and Dawn of War 1 is S tier, so I guess I'll settle on...
I'm going to put in A tier just because I did enjoy it.
It is really fun to play it still.
And it's playable without mods.
The pathfinding's bearable.
You little dudes don't go halfway across the map to melee someone.
Backflipping Gabriel Angelos. Gabriel Angelos is doing backflipping.
But it's A!
It's A tier!
The soundtrack for that game is great.
The soundtrack is great. The other two are just kinda...
The soundtrack is great. The game's not as good as the soundtrack.
Yeah, not as D tier for sure. It's an abomination.
I've never played it, actually.
Go ahead, go ahead, Dad.
I bet there's some guy out there who's like, Dawn of War 3 is peak, man. You gotta play Dawn of War 3. It's got epic action.
He didn't really come back from NARM, so it's fine.
All they had to do was make Dawn of War 1 with good graphics and they would've made a billion dollars.
They thought they had the next big eSports hit on their hands.
How hard did the trailer grow, though?
The trailer made it look really cool and then it was done.
It did, yeah. The trailer was awesome.
I am Gabriel Angelos and I can't wait to be in the MLG.
B.O. Hunt. $4.99. Thank you very much, sir. Do you want to read this one out, Eli?
$5 for Dreadanon to stop shouting with all due respect.
No!
This guy's a headphones user.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for having destroyed your ears.
Wake up, wake up.
The next one, though, is Winter Assault S-tier.
It's a game.
Oh yeah, it's great.
The cutscene where the chaplain's talking to the general about how the Imperial Guard are expendable, but they're going to give it their all anyway.
Keno! Keno!
If Dawn of War 1 is A-tier, how are the DLCs going to be higher than the actual game?
Because in the wonderful world of the early 2000s, DLC was the base game, but with more better stuff.
Yeah, you just get Winter Assault, then you launch Dawn of War, and then it's all together, right?
Yeah.
Back in the day, the gap between Battlefront 1 and 2 was nothing.
Back in the day, we had discs.
Back in the day, we had discs and expansion packs.
Back in the day, we had good video games.
Warzone.
For Dawn of War, do you remember having to get the code that was in the CD packet?
You had to put that in to make the game work.
Yeah, it was the CD key.
If you ever lost the box, then God be with you.
It's okay, because like 50% of games, any CD key would work.
You just needed A CD key.
I got in trouble with Rome 1. I'm trying to borrow Rome 1 to the war.
Rise of Nations, I think, was mine.
Absolute pain.
We just had a... with the whole, how can a DLC be better?
Theholyemu just said, same way The Taken King is better than Base Destiny.
So, DLC...
That is true.
Base Destiny sucks anyways.
Back in the day, DLC used to stand for downloadable content. Now it's just depression loading content.
They've done to ruin the game more.
To be fair, it's not all hope is lost, because Elden Ring is going to drop a DLC at the time of recording.
That will probably be the same size as any normal game.
Japan studios just do so much better.
I love some of the DLC they did for things like the Like a Dragon series.
Japanese studios tend to be better with DLC, because they're not just like,
we want to draw more money out of you, like, let me grab your udders and milk you.
It's like, no, leave my udders be. Leave them be.
Leave my udders alone, bro.
The counter to that is if you name your kid Mario, Nintendo sends a hitman to kill him.
We could.
It's probably kinder.
Shout out to our Monsanto. They're in here playing Monsanto.
I tried.
I played World of Nintendo.
A little bit.
Monsanto World?
Yeah, it didn't click with me.
Really?
Because I don't know, I couldn't like you go out, you kill a dinosaur and you make a spear of its bones and then use that spear to kill a bigger dinosaur.
I don't I just I can't be there with all that.
Wasn't my kind of thing.
Yeah, Peter wasn't happy.
Anything that makes Peter unhappy makes me happy.
The Kinsa glaive was my I found what I was born to do with that weapon.
That's good.
Did you ever get Iceborn, the last DLC?
No.
The literal DLC of the same size as the base game.
Wow.
It was enormous.
And by the end of it, you would literally fighting god dragons.
It was pretty good.
But speaking of something that's maybe not as good as some of the Soulstorm I had to put down there.
I like Soulstorm.
Soulstorm is cool.
It's animated.
You had the whole galactic map to go to different planets and stuff.
Yeah, that was fun.
And I just enjoy it.
I just glorified the menu.
It does have sisters.
And it has case.
No, that's not what you're saying.
I think the DLCs were a bit more mid though.
I'm sorry.
The cut scenes were.
Oh, yeah.
Like production wise, it was obviously they didn't have a huge budget, which is fine.
But I think they did as much as you could expect them to do.
Because I think it deserves a B tier.
Yeah.
I think people hit it on us really hard when it came out.
Who's the Imperial commander they killed right at the beginning of the game?
I know.
Rip, rip.
That was tough.
But a stealth suit gets him.
Yeah, brother.
That was painful.
But the next game though, this is actually the one that I played first.
This is SS, top of S tier.
I think this is the best one.
Dark Crusade.
This one is so good.
You can play as the battle map where it's just you play like different factions.
It's like a conquest mode in a way.
Oh, man.
Chaos Space Marines on that one.
I just love playing Chaos Space Marines and Eliphas the inheritor who just yells constantly.
I can relate.
See, I come it's OK when Elphas yells, but when I yell, it's a problem.
When I sleep with one guy, they call me gay.
I still prefer one shoot.
The first game, he's just like, Sindri.
Oh, yeah.
Classic.
Metal box.
Also, the guy who does the voiceover for the cut scenes of Dark Crusade.
I wish I had that guy's voice on my own.
It's like the Horus Heresy.
Makes you gravel your firstborn into the intercourt.
The Space Marines of the Blood Ravens took down all the Chaos Space Marines.
I love it.
The fighting stuff about their missing Primarch, who is mystery, not Magnus the Wreck.
Definitely not.
The next one, though, I remember when this was announced, Total War Warhammer.
This is an easy A tier, I would say.
The only reason it's not S is because Total Warhammer 2 gave it the perfect everything in it.
OK.
Listen.
Listen up, gang.
I played the first one whenever 2 was coming out because I wanted to be more familiar with it.
And I think people forget how basic the first one was.
Because it was just like a normal Total War campaign, but you were playing as Warhammer factions.
So there were no special objectives or anything interesting, any interesting mechanics or anything like that.
It was literally just Total War, but with griffins.
So it was kind of basic, I thought.
But if it's an A tier, it's an A tier.
I would personally put it in B.
Did it end on...
I think Norsca.
Yeah.
And like, Norsca didn't get ported to 2 for like...
Ugh, man.
I think they tried and they fucked it up.
Yeah, people, I have heard that the Total War Warhammer games are way basicer than the actual Total War games like Attila and...
The combat is very... because the AI in the previous game, they actually like...
Characters interact and duel each other.
Now they just do like AoE.
Well, to be fair, you would have to create a bunch of animations for like a guy with a spear fighting a dragon,
and a guy with a sword fighting a dragon, and a guy with a spear fighting a guy with a sword.
And then it would just be too much, I think.
And there's 50 different factions.
Yeah, a slight... I mean, it's a massive upgrade to the Total War formula,
but there was a bit of Dan Gray in terms of combat stuff.
Also, if you reskin any game with Warhammer, then Warhammer players will love it.
So, it doesn't have to...
What an intake over your fantasy.
It was Warhammer Fantasy tabletop on a video game,
and as somebody who was still lamenting over fantasy after 10 years, it was pretty nice. I liked it.
I will say I'm heavily biased towards one, because it's the reason I do the YouTube thing,
because my friend gave it to me, because it came with a graphics card, a key for it came with it.
He's like, I know Colin likes Total War, I'll fucking see if he wants it.
And I never bought it, because this was when 2 came out.
I had never bought it, because I was like, I like the historical bit of Total War.
I'm like, I don't know how I feel about this, but he's given to me for free.
I'm like, I'll try it, and then I kind of fell in love with it.
I remember that I announced it.
I was watching someone play the Lord of the Rings mod for Medieval 2,
and I remember thinking, oh man, this is going to be big Warhammer on Total War.
And to be fair, it started the journey.
But to be fair, the next one, Total Warhammer 2, man...
Oh boy.
If we're going by how it is...
It's got to be us.
Games like now, or how it was even at the time, Warhammer 2 is like, goated.
It was so...
I mean, we were waiting for DLCs at certain points, but it was...
Man, that was...
Oh God.
You know, the high elves drop in, Lizardman...
And then Skaven, my man.
Do you remember the trailer came out, and people were like, there's a rat!
And people were like...
There's a rat!
It's a dirty rat!
And the...
Finishing on its last DLC was with Taurox and the Chameleon guy.
I can't remember his name.
This Chameleon skater.
Oxyoddle.
Yeah.
That was a big...
It was a huge finish as well, because it re-updated an old faction.
They made the beast and that shit.
They did a DLC over DLC, and it made it...
But at the end of Warhammer 2, even now you can still play it, and it's still fantastic.
The next one...
Speaking of the next one, though, I don't know how people feel about this, because this is
currently...
Before we get into that, we've got two donations.
Whoa!
Should I read the first one, and then...
Eli, do you want to read the second one?
So...
Oh God, oh God mentioned.
Oh yeah, all right.
We'll explain that to Dreadnought in a bit.
So the first one's from incoming backup.
Thank you again for 15 squigglies saying, I'm still waiting for the AOS MMO-Memorpoga that
will allow us to have a boingob quest.
Would be epic.
That is in fact shekels, by the way.
Also, all of you are awesome creators, so take a moment.
Thank you so much.
Oh, I thought we were...
Okay.
Captain Fire Spitter for 9.99 euros, or pounds, I don't remember which.
Pounds.
That's like a thousand Canadian euros, so thank you.
He says, Dark Crusade is great for one simple reason.
For me, made a never-ending meat grinder between my Urpoise and the Imperial Guard.
Don't think that game has stopped to this day, being many years now.
Yeah, man, it's very fun.
And if you turn the bodies, if you make it so that your bodies don't go away, there's
no limit on your bodies, you can get some pretty good-looking fields.
You can also melt your processor.
Yeah!
Dark Crusade.
How good were the Stronghold missions, by the way?
I would do Happy Just Play all them back-to-back.
I don't think I ever got to one.
I don't remember that, yeah.
Knock it over.
I played the whole campaign.
They were really intense.
They would go on for ages, and by the end I would just be super frustrated, and I just
wanted them to be over.
But, you know, great game.
Great game.
The next one, though.
Total Warhammer 3, as a time of recording, it may change, but there's been some kind
of...
Yeah.
Do you want to take over, Colin?
I'm gonna say the good things first.
First of all...
No, guys, we have to be nice to Creative Assembly so they make me thank-well.
So no one's saying anything bad.
I'll start off nice.
The Nagash guy ported his mod to the third game.
So you can play Nagash.
And the World War II guy?
Yeah, and they made the World War I mod.
It is, I will give it credit.
Happy now?
Frost worms.
The whole, all of Total War...
Pretty much all of the Warhammer world is in it.
All of the places that matter.
I'm sorry, I don't care about Inden Quresh.
No one cares about Inden Quresh.
And I think you know you don't care about it either.
It's, you know, Cathay and Kislev have been realized very wonderfully.
It's big.
It's, you know...
And all of the features in the ideal world where they all worked properly would be very fun and, you know, enjoyable.
You know, the spectacle, all the factions, it's very nice.
Thirty dollars for the Chaos Dwarves is not very nice.
Yeah, the DLC was very mid.
It was a content-rich race pack and well worth every penny.
I don't like the Chaos Dwarves.
I'm sorry.
I think...
It's too expensive.
My only issue with the third game is like, it's not, again, as it's standing, like if the other two ones, the other games weren't there, like it actually is like an incredible game.
But it's starting to hit that point of it's like things are getting outdated, weirdly enough, with the technology and the system behind it.
It's starting to have a bit of jank.
Again, they just need to, Creative Assembly really need to get a new, what is it, like a new system, isn't it?
Or a new engine.
New engine, that's it.
Because a lot of other games, just get it into Unreal Engine 5 or whatever.
Don't be like Bethesda, like we're going to use this engine for all our Fallout games for fifty years.
I still like it.
I mean, I will also fully admit, I am, since I was like five-year-old, I am Creative Assembly's strongest whale.
I still like it a lot.
I was playing it earlier today.
It's just, I would say yes.
Yeah.
There's so much more stuff.
And like, but I think, I think like, it's kind of been a victim of its own success because they want to put out all this like new impressive stuff.
Where, to the point where like a lot of the game one races are kind of suffering.
Like, I know the Empire and the Dwarves are about to get, they're about to get their update soon, I think.
They need it so bad.
They really need it.
Oh geez.
I mean, if someone is like not into Warhammer though, and you put this game in front of them, they're like, holy crap, this would blow someone's mind.
It's a lot.
It's a lot to do.
But speaking of, speaking of what will be perhaps the greatest shilling, the waiting of all time, I think Eli can see the next one.
I have not played the game.
I've only read the book.
And the book is S tier.
The book is amazing.
It's my favorite book.
No, no.
I've played it.
I've played that.
Okay.
Back to C.
I would put it in D because it really, really sucks.
It's terrible.
It's quiet.
It looks really serious.
It's quiet.
Just read the book.
It's quiet.
Oh gosh.
You are 1v1 a Valkyrie.
I know that much.
Which is silly.
How can he fire a bolter?
Doesn't he pick up a bolter at one point?
How are your arms not broken, mate?
To be fair, the bolter, the rendition of the bolter is pretty good.
It's like a proper like grenade launcher thing.
And that thus ends the list of the nice things I will say about Fire Warrior.
I think the best way...
Didn't mean to cut you off.
What?
Go on.
Some of the cut scenes were cut.
Just for the novelty of seeing Tau doing things, which they never get to do anymore.
Tau exists.
Oh, I suppose there was the exodite.
Actually, yeah.
No, it sucks.
That's what I gotta say.
Please read the book.
I will shield the book to the ends of the earth.
Please learn about Case.
Tell his story.
He exists.
I think the best way to sum up the Fire Warrior game is that it's one of the five...
...gobillion...
...to steal a word from Eli.
First-person shooter games.
Oh, get to that.
But it's one of the five unlimited number of FPS games, the 2000s, that was called the Halo Killer
and then proceeded to completely fall flat on its face.
Every game that said they were a Halo Killer can met seppuku.
They didn't know.
We're the killer.
I liked Killzone.
Halo was the Halo Killer.
I'm not saying they were all bad.
I'm just saying every game that was called that.
I didn't play Halo until fairly recently, like a year or two ago, and I was like,
oh, okay, I get it.
Yeah, I get it.
I see you.
I finally get it.
Me too.
We have a donation from Incoming Backup.
Thank you, brothers.
Thank you very much.
Also, Dreadanon, you are thinking small.
Why voice Thankful when you can voice the rich and wonderful character of Boingob?
Please explain.
I feel left out.
Boingob.
Go ahead, Colin, because Colin loves this.
Boingob.
How much do you know about Age of Sigmar?
Mostly thanks to your videos, Fairbent.
Do you know, like, the godbeasts, like the big, like, divine, like, monsters?
Yeah, yeah.
A vague familiarity.
Well, you see, Boingob was the squigg godbeast.
He's the father of all squigs.
Okay.
And he was really big, and he tried to eat the sun and it burned him.
See, that's the kind of thing I like about Age of Sigmar.
And now he's stupid shit like the little crimes.
And also the gloom spite gets to live in his skull.
All praise for Boingob.
And he's our patron saint, and we pray to him every day now.
We pray to Boingob. He was hungry.
He's officially the massacre of law crimes now.
We also got a donation from Damien P for $999 saying,
Total War has Franz and my favorite metal boy, please.
So another donation by Mr. Idiot was a great name.
Friar Warrior is anti-Tau propaganda.
Playing that game was so miserable.
Yeah, but the guy also destroys a bunch of space marines.
It's like this weedy little guy.
Yeah, Case is a baller, dude.
Case is literally bodies.
I want a Malam Kato and Case video game where they just destroy the IF terrors.
That'd be awesome.
They could probably do it too.
Imagine the two fighting each other.
Malam Kato versus Friar Warrior.
Work it out with Bethesda.
What's the next one, Andy?
Vermintide.
Vermintide 1.
Oh, original.
I think that's only a B.
But yeah, it's one of those games.
The progression system was sure something.
That weird dice bullshit.
I haven't played many of the games on this.
I only played it for a few hours, I think.
Yeah, I've only played a few of the games on this list, but me and my friends were playing this several, several years ago on the Xbox Game Pass.
And it was like, this is fun.
But especially when we're in the Tavern, we were like, we don't know what we're supposed to be doing.
Because we got in when there was a bunch of DLCs.
So it's like, where do you start?
How do we progress?
Where do you get this at?
Or what's this currency?
And it was just so confusing to be chucked into it and be like, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm not supposed to be whacking rats with a big hammer.
But in what order?
I think you have to have specific tastes to really get your money's worth out of games like Vermintide.
Because otherwise you just play for like 10, 20 hours and then it's the same thing over and over again.
So it's, I don't know.
It's also just the second game is one of those sequels where it's just the first one, but more stuff.
So it's obsolete.
The Destiny 2 effect.
Yeah, I was, I loaded it up one day just because I wanted to see what the difference was with the old and new ones.
And my friend joined my Xbox party and was like, Colin, why the fuck are you playing this?
The second one exists.
I feel like that's the best way to sum up Vermintide 1.
It's fun.
Play the second one.
It was a good start.
But speaking of the next one.
Vermintide 2.
That one's got to be an 8.
Alright, this is where hell's gonna ramp up.
I bought this on launch, okay, and I cannot describe the cock and ball torture level of pain of waiting and waiting for any like a drip of content to be added to this game.
You could do it again.
Like it has like a great combat system is fantastic.
Love playing every character.
Shout out to Barden.
Barden is a real one.
Literally, literally yanking into combat.
If you didn't want to fight the patrol, you shouldn't have let me pick Slayer.
My only problem is, my God, I had to wait a whole year for the Beastmen DLC that was expensive, like a terrible matchmaking system thing.
Again, the progression in the game wasn't added until like years later.
They made the game and they already dropped it to go work on something else.
But as it stands now, Vermintide 2 is a game, particularly with the chaos gate or realm parts as like an end game thing.
It's actually quite like a lot of fun.
And it's hard to get people back into it because everyone's had a go at it.
And getting people to play it again is like, oh.
For what it is worth, if you want to play a Left 4 Dead style game that isn't just your five millionth run of Dark Carnival, it's very good.
You know what it is, though.
It's like when you tell someone, oh, there's a series of television.
You've just got to get past the first series and then it's good.
And it's like, I don't want to watch a whole series of shit television.
It's not that.
It's like Parks and Rec season.
It gets good after the 500th episode.
Yeah, exactly.
Just don't watch the fillers. It's fine.
I will also give Vermintide.
It's amazing in the end game.
How long does it take to get to the end game?
Oh, like 200 hours.
To be fair to Vermintide and Total War gets credit for it too.
They're a major part in bringing back fantasy.
I'll give them that.
That's what I was thinking.
And Skaven, to be fair.
Skaven Love.
All right.
Yeah.
I put this on the list because I know it exists.
This is Freeblade.
He plays a Night Fiend.
I've never played it.
It's like a Night Jeweling game, but it's mobile and trash.
So I'm just going to put that.
My man says mobile.
And this one I was told to put on by the chat.
Something Corsair.
Man of War Corsair.
I've heard of this tabletop game that did not do well at all.
It's just like when people talk about like, oh, Elder Scrolls games.
By the way, there's that one with a red guard or something.
He plays like a shit captain.
It's like, no one's ever played that.
It's like that.
No, but the main theme for Red Guard is a banger.
I've never played it.
Soundtracks are not enough to save games.
It might be good.
I don't know.
They can definitely make it a lot better.
Again, Destiny 2, Michael Salvatore.
Jeez, he knows how to make a tune.
All right.
Well, you better.
I hope you're not implying Halo is only good because of the soundtrack.
I was thinking Halo is the whole package, but Destiny is somewhat like alleviated by.
Oh my gosh, this is a lovely soundtrack.
You're in that to sing the Halo theme tune in like while you're shooting the 50 million
in the head and you're like, oh, this is a nice tune.
At least it alleviates the monotony of shooting this thing again and again and again.
We have another donation by, sorry, donation by King of Sicily.
Thank you, brother.
He says, now confirmed that Dreadonon is a noise Marine, Slenesh Dreadnought,
because I'm in considerable pain, but love listening to him regardless.
Thanks, man.
I'm very sorry for all my yelling.
It won't happen again.
I think it probably will.
Bring back Sonic Dreadnought, please.
Please, UW.
Can you hear me?
If you can hear me, UW, please bring back Sonic Dreadnought.
Little David Storyteller.
Did you say you wanted another Primaris, Lieutenant?
Did you say bring back a Primark?
Bring back more Primarks?
Make it 30K, but again.
Do you want another weird unit name like with Primaris Marines in funky costumes that do
something like the Exeggutiporus?
I can tell you what they do.
They steal the Eldar's job on the tabletop.
Space Marines must have everything.
Give me an Interparial model and I'll start an Avangard Army.
The next one is Speed Freak.
That game is actually fun as hell.
It was only the open beta like I was in.
Is it out yet?
It's a lot of fun.
And now it's not out yet.
I even checked on Steam before we started.
But it is super fun.
It looks cool.
I haven't played it.
It's a lot of fun.
I'd say either high B or low A.
You drive around, there's objectives, you're in orc vehicles that are crappy and blow up.
Just because of Soulstorm being mod capable.
Alright, see the thing is, Speed Freak though, it's one of those games, it's just pure condensed, it's just fun.
Sure, it's probably not the game you're going to sink the most hours in.
It's like you play this, you're going to have a good time, you're going to walk away happy.
That's it.
Fair enough.
It's like a lovely snack.
It's not fast food, it's not gourmet.
It's like you're going to have this, it's a nice tasty treat.
And you go, yum, that was nice.
It's not going to erode my soul like Stellaris.
But it also won't put as many hours in.
What's the next one?
Tiefen Shooters.
I really want to play this.
Oh yeah, I've played that.
How would you rate it?
It's pretty fun.
Yeah, like, C I think is fair, it's not like going to change your life or anything, but it's pretty fun for what it is.
It's the guys who made Guns, Gore and Kanoli, which was exactly the same game, just not Warhammer.
I was like, that was fun, I played that one.
But that scene with the knight who has like the a million titles is brilliant.
The humor is great, but I've not played it.
Why is there not like a Worms, Warhammer reskin?
Would you not play the crap out of a Worms reskin?
I'd play anything Worms.
Why is that still a banner?
Who would the Worms be?
Imperial Guard.
Crude.
Imperial Guard.
Imagine if there was a Warhammer game, but it was just Crude.
I'd be so happy.
Bird watching.
There's a donation here by Bunny Cop, he says, G W, quote, I'm sorry Eli, did you say bring Demon Fulgrim to Forge World and Horus Heresy?
Apparently.
It's fine, if he doesn't come back to 40k, that means he doesn't lose to ex-loyalist Primarch to any plot convenience possible.
Now, now.
He will, it will happen.
Oh my gosh, I can't wait till Fulgrim loses to Giliman.
Oh my gosh, even though he literally has no body, he'll just lose to the Khan.
Fulgrim bodied Giliman, he literally bodies.
And just can if he wants to, as long as the Khan just goes, alright brother, let me show you how to do it.
Yeah, that was easy.
Andy, can we do a double trouble one real quick?
Uh huh.
You want to just put Chaosbane and Inquisitor right into D tier for Diablo clone?
No.
I heard Inquisitor was alright.
I mean, I played it, but I have that thought of, I can either go play Diablo, or I can go play Titan's Quest.
Which is the best Diablo.
The big question though.
Are you, are you willing to support Blizzard?
Yeah, didn't think about that one.
Alright, listen, I bought Diablo 3 before we knew Blizzard was Satan.
Do you guys not have phones?
There's something eerie about these two though, like they're exactly the same cover.
What is this?
They're the same game.
Yeah.
It's just, do you want a Warhammer fantasy skin or a 40k skin?
That's the only difference.
What's the next one there?
This is Regicide, the Warhammer fantasy.
Chess?
It's just chess.
But instead of going check, they're like, pfft.
Are we waiting chess?
It's just chess.
I'm terrible at chess, so I will hit it on principle.
Cool.
Yeah.
Battle Sector.
Oh what the hell are half of these?
Thing is, me and Colin, when me, Colin and I went to Warhammer Fest last year, Colin,
I watched Colin play a little bit of this on like a demo table, and he was playing a
sororitye, and it was like a top down tactical, I think turn based shooter-y sort of thing?
Like an RTS thing?
And it looked kind of interesting, but it was like jumping into it with no idea how to play it.
It was kind of hard to gauge how good it was.
Tactically boring my tits off.
It looked a solid six out of ten.
A resounding six out of ten.
It in fact is a Warhammer game.
It's a Warhammer game.
The next one is Blood Bowl.
Blood Bowl.
I still never played it.
Oh, I played it once and I just couldn't really understand it, but I was also like 14 or 15,
so I don't know.
Yeah, I bought it thinking it would be like sort of like Madden, but with Blood Bowl characters,
and it's not that.
It's just a turn based thing, like the game on the tabletop, so that was a disappointment.
I think it was okay, but like...
See, I think for what it's worth, I think it's like supposedly unbelievably faithful to Blood Bowl
on tabletop, except without the fun of you and your friends are playing the goofy football game
in Warhammer or you're just playing a video game with an orc.
Yeah, I mean, I don't even really know how to play American football.
Football.
It's just rugby.
Which means it's just football.
It doesn't mean the same thing to me.
It's like rugby with ad breaks.
Every 15 seconds they're like, this is sponsored by Just For Field Cigarettes.
This broken nose injury is sponsored by...
I'm just saying there's been how many Super Bowls and yet it's only been America winning them.
You're the only ones who could compete.
Are other countries allowed to compete?
No.
I don't know.
Probably not.
That's why it's like Americans always win, because it's like exclusively Americans who can play.
Oh, here's some trivia.
Here's some sports trivia.
Oh, here we go.
Did you know that, that, that the All Ireland football final
has never been won by any non-Irish team?
Wow.
But there is a non-Irish team in the running.
London has a GAA club.
Did they win the Six Nations this year, Dredd?
With rugby.
Because they did well this year.
Oh yeah, we did. We did.
Nice. Well done Ireland. You won.
It became third, I think, England.
Everyone loves it when England just gets destroyed in the last minute.
Bro, it hurts so bad when we lose.
I have another fun sports trivia fact for everyone.
For the donation, brother.
Thank you, Border Prince.
Shadow of the Horned Rat should be S-tier, he says.
Maybe it should, but none of us have played it, so we wouldn't know.
Yeah, we don't know any better.
We're too ignorant.
We'll take your word for it.
We might take your word for it.
My fun sports fact is you know that the Chicago Bears were one of the first teams in the NFL.
The first six.
And they suck ass the entire time.
They've never been good.
Nice.
This is something I've wondered about.
I wonder if you know, Colin.
When was the NFL founded?
I believe 1932 is the date I have.
That was before Hawaii and Alaska got...
1920. Oh yeah, it was before that.
So how did that work?
Did Alaska and Hawaii have football teams?
I don't know if they have a football team now.
I don't think they do.
The Hawaiian pineapple on pizza or something.
Oh jeez.
Is this someone who just put London sucks and is like, it is raining outside.
So true, King. So true.
I live in the Hive city and it's...
Bro, in the UK, if London disappeared, we're like one of the most poorest countries in Europe.
Make it happen, baby. Make it happen.
No, I live there. I'm one of the idiots who lives there.
I am Peter Quill.
Why would you go and do a thing like that?
I lived on a small island with like 70,000 people.
I had to go somewhere a bit more interesting.
Anyway, eternal crusade.
Oh, I miss it.
Remember the fallen.
Get it down there. Get it down there.
Let it stay there.
Surely better than this.
It was so clunky and terrible, but it was so fun.
And when you got any kill, it was awesome.
Best fucking thing in the world.
And then they released the Space Marine multiplayer again, but slightly worse.
Yeah, yeah. But it was fun.
It was fun. And getting a kill made you feel so good because it was impossible to kill anybody in that game.
You just rolled and clunked around.
But it was so fun.
What do you mean London is just the dark tide?
I live there. I can confirm.
If true.
Yeah.
Is this one lost crusade?
Lost crusade.
I don't even know what that is.
It's got great cutscenes.
Yeah, it's got a great fun.
It's kind of weirdly cartoony cutscene though, like the trailer.
They were a bit like, I don't know, there's something about the way it's animated.
Oh, God damn it.
This is one of those god awful mobile game garbage.
I remember seeing advertisements for this and if you remove the war hammer from it, it would be identical to every other one.
We have a donation from Azur, Andy for $10. Thank you.
Thank you.
I have returned. Glad to see the lads and a tier list, but not a Ero one. Does that mean epic rap battle? I don't know.
Epic rap battle of history.
One day.
Darktide is such a gem, but with the lack of communication and needed engagement for long term players, it's just dead.
Yeah. Epic rap battle tier list. Keep your eyes open. You never know what you might see.
I haven't watched the last ones. The last six years of.
The most recent ones are kind of mid, I've got to be honest.
The wave has already been written.
Speaking of mid, Gladius.
Gladius mid.
I heard it's actually good nowadays. I've been told it's actually cool now.
Who told you? Was it Satan?
I don't want to play it to find out.
My buddies who like RTS a lot, they actually say this game is cool now.
I also like RTS a lot. This game is mid.
I wouldn't play this game because I am happy.
Oh, OK.
It looks cool. It honestly looks like it.
I would just like to say Gladius complete edition bundle, one hundred and eight dollars.
My buddies.
There you go.
Why don't you just check my beloved Gim workshop.
It has 81% reviews on Steam. That's not bad.
Yeah, because we're Warhammer fans. We look at Warhammer and clap like circuit seals.
The next one though. Oh my God. This is the Eisenhorn Xenos game.
You know when you know what animation is in one game? Yeah, it's like a Doom 3 graphics.
It looks like animation like the skeletons animation before all the time.
It looks like that. It looks really low budget.
This looks like a lovecraft game because Eisenhorn looks like he was born in Innsmouth.
There's a character in the first.
Isn't there a character in the first few scenes called Ibot or something like that?
Am I like a I clone? Yeah, it's like, oh my God.
That's like, to be fair, it's incredibly faithful to the Eisenhorn first.
Yeah, but you're literally playing through the book.
So if you want, isn't it like Mark Strong is the voice?
Is it like? Yeah, the guy who voices.
What kind of game is it? It's like a narrative game.
Okay. Who's the character? Who's the space marine in Space Marine? Titus.
Mark Strong comes back to you. He also voiced Eisenhorn.
Such a waste. Great actor.
That's good casting.
Speaking of Space Marine.
Oh, yes, I love this.
I love it.
Don't speak. Don't say anything.
We have descent among the ranks.
I was going to say A tier. I just don't think it's S.
I love it.
It's got its flaws for sure, but I think a lot of us were just so charmed by the novelty of getting to kill things.
That's fair.
It's a type of fun. Don't get me wrong.
It's S tier because chains would go brr.
And you get to crush the guys.
One of the few blemishes in the game is the boss fight at the end is garbage.
But then he does like smush his face in his hands.
And that part was quite fun.
So I was like, I'm going to give that free pass.
And Sidonis is a baller.
And all the Leandros.
Epic.
My beloved.
Matt Ward's standard.
Are we happy with where it stands currently in S tier?
I think below.
It's definitely showing its age.
But there's a new one on the way.
Yeah.
No, not.
I'll don't jinx it, man.
It'll be out when it's out.
And we like that.
It'll be out when it's out.
Next one that I believe that Space Hulk.
Space Hulk tactics.
I hate it.
Top down.
Like, is this the shooter or the.
No, this is the.
OK, I must say, I think I'm probably the only one who's played it.
It's before we start, we got another donation from Elliott Hawke.
Everything's.
Don't worry.
Tech and Mech are on the way.
I'm working in collaboration with G.R.R. Martin on it.
And it will release alongside the winds of winter.
Alongside winds of winter.
I keep telling you, Elliott, it'll be out when it's out.
And we like that.
Great work, Anthony.
So good when Holger Spine Schenker was there, the great Holger Spine Schenker.
OK.
This is a reference to a series of mine, which I have updated in nine months.
And I've been saying I will update it for about half that time.
It'll be out when it's out.
And we like that.
It'll be out when it's out.
And it's like all I'll say about Space Hulk Tactics, it's based off the actual board game.
So it plays in the same way, but with like some fun graphics.
And it's like it's all about like it's all these corridors with Genestealers.
And you've got to like you've got your team of terminators.
You've got to position them and you've got to make sure they have enough ammo before they have to reload.
And there's different loadouts.
It's like it's not like by any means like a game anyone can get into.
But for what it's worth, I enjoyed it.
There was also a campaign where you played as the Genestealers and you got to kill a squad of ultramarines, dark angels and space wolves.
And that was their campaign.
I can't believe I've never done this.
And then the space wolves are the toughest because they've got lightning claws.
It was good fun.
Beta?
Yeah, I mean, I really enjoyed it for what it was, but it wasn't like mind blowing.
But I thought it was cool.
And I had fun luring the catsies.
I spy something.
I've seen them.
I spy multiple instances of cardboard or of mobile game.
Made but let's get these both out of the way.
Can you not dis walk for us because we got this from the art.
The art is like the game.
I could draw that.
Here's the thing.
Great.
Both these games.
I have a bit of a problem with Horace Heresy Legion in particular, but let's get through it.
These are both made by the same company.
It's a mobile game.
Both card games sort of like what's it called?
That card game that everyone played for a long time where it was just a half stone.
It's like half stone for 40k war forges in 40k Horace Heresy Legion is obviously 30k.
I spent a lot of time playing this game and it's so unbalanced every time they bring out a new bloody faction.
My SID light deck doesn't do any good anymore.
I've got all the cards and I've put so much time into making them all like pristine and like shiny versions.
And now I'm upset and I'm putting it at the bottom of T.
And that's all I'm saying.
OK, fair.
I will say fair.
Gothic Armada 1.
OK, this is another one of those situations where the sequels.
Yeah.
The sequel is just better in every way.
I just don't have any strong feelings about the first game whatsoever.
How about that?
Yeah.
The story's neat.
We get sons of Malice lore.
It's weird though because part of it is canon, part of it is not.
Because in 2's like.
I'm just imagining all the sons of Malice fans going like, yes, yes, yes.
Let me just say bits of Gothic 2 are not canon because while you can say yes, the sons of Malice are in Gothic,
Admiral Spire kills Abaddon the Despoiler.
So it's like, I don't think we can count on this.
Obviously that part's not.
Yeah, yeah, and he blows up the fan and there's also like a cut scene where if you play as the Necrons,
they just go like, oh, you see that Eye of Terror?
Gone.
It's a game I really wish I liked more, but I just find like I'm not into that style of like ship combat game.
It's like reminds me, I'm getting flashbacks to Empire Total War and just trying to do ship battles on that and then wishing.
Oh, yeah.
Wishing you could just play Empire Total War.
Those are seaships.
These are spaceships.
It's a totally different kind of thing.
Does anyone else just say you just board?
There's no wind and there's no there's no boarding in Empire Total War.
Yes, there is.
No, there's no.
Yes, there is.
Yeah, there is.
In Empire Total War, no, there's not.
In the ship battles.
The Star Wars game.
I'm talking about the Star Wars game.
That's Empire at War.
Oh, those are two entirely different things.
They're both Empire War games.
I've never I've not played much Empire at War.
How dare you compare the two?
You're the Total War guy.
What are you doing?
Yeah, I kind of skipped over Empire.
When I played as a kid, my PC couldn't handle it.
So I just never played it after.
My PC can't handle it.
No, it's just it's just not very well put together.
You can found the colonies, bro.
And it's so much fun.
I'll play EU4 for that.
It's not fun to do Empire.
You have to sacrifice all your economy for that.
It's terrible.
I always like playing as the native factions and then just getting like a whole lot of like archers and just mowing down waves of...
Bro, cavalry?
Do you ever get like anything anytime you played cavalry in that game?
My God, like the balls of steel, but also the absolute...
Oh, also the natives had cool horses because they had like little painty patterns all over them, which was neat.
I wish that was for that game.
Don't play the game though, it's crap, but you know, cool horses.
Play the...
If this was a horse tier list, then that'd be a different story.
Next tier list is a horse tier list.
My lovely horse.
A lot of these games do have horses in them.
Well, the Total War ones do.
Lots of horses.
Next one is Chaos Gate.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. It's great.
I love a great S tier or top of A.
I'd put it at A because like some of the X-comisms do drag it down a bit for me.
99% hit.
No, no, no, it's not that stuff.
Just kind of the...
I fundamentally don't enjoy those games on some level, but I still get a kick out of the novelty of it.
Like when a plan comes...
When you place everyone personally and a plan comes together, it's great.
When you're getting your guys killed from halfway across the map by some...
Not so great.
...gun, it doesn't feel great.
As someone who's played an unhealthy amount of X-com, I really, really want to play this game, but I can't.
I want to X-com now, frick.
Well, the next one is also X-com, but more hammer.
I can get this on Switch though, so I can play this.
S tier, come on.
S tier.
Great music.
Soundtrack was hard, yeah.
Soundtrack here.
It's a very fun game to be in.
We love organs.
The machine is immortal, brothers.
The machine is immortal.
Can't wait to replace my...
Someone just DJ Beast's pancreas.
I don't know if they're even answering that question.
Why DJ Beast?
Body needs more bile.
Where is it, DJ Beast?
Where is my promised delivery?
Never too bad.
Mechanic is still, even now, goes hard.
I think the difficulty of the game is completely up to you, depends on how much you explore.
How much you play those types of games, because I was coming into it, I've played a bit of X-com 2, and then I came into Mechanicus, and I was like, I don't know what's happening, all my guys are dying.
What's going on?
Is it the case, because one thing about both X-com games, the most difficult way to play is the first few missions, because you don't have any stuff.
As soon as you can level up your soldiers and tailor what upgrades, it becomes way easier over time.
But it's those first few missions where it's like, I've got the basic assault rifle, and I'm pointing the gun in the mouth of the alien, and I pull the trigger, and it goes up here.
It's like, how is this happening?
And then you get a few levels, and you're like, oh, I can play it properly now.
Is it like that, or is it reliable?
That's why I don't know.
The next game, though.
This one glides.
This is like sandpaper on my taint.
I like it.
No, don't put it in C. That's crazy.
Tell me where, then.
Give me direction.
It should be close.
I would put it in Dirtside.
Oh, come on, it's great.
It's fun.
The guns are so satisfying.
Can you play it more than 20 hours without getting bored?
Well, no, not as much.
It's got O'grin's.
It's got...
I don't know.
If I'm buying a $40 game, I'll have 40 hours.
I'm very sorry, but it feels like Vermintide, but lesser in every way.
No.
I understand why people don't like it.
It's called guns.
Too fair to call them that.
The cycle of, again, for someone who's played both these games on release, Vermintide was a bit more polished,
but Dirtside does have more to offer as a base standard game.
On set, Vermintide 2 without any updates or DLC is fine.
They'll build on it.
It's fine.
They'll make it good.
I know, but Fat Shark really need to get their crap together.
I don't understand.
I think they said at one point it takes them nine months to make a map, and I don't understand how that's possible.
Also, I think it's been about nine months since the last one.
I know, the last update was an apology update because, again, they were cooking this game.
They beefed it.
The excuse was on Vermintide, oh, we haven't been able to give much love to the game because we're working on Darktide.
Darktide is...
Are they already working on a new game?
Because Darktide needs to keep cooking.
It should have another...
It needed another year.
There'll be a Darktide 2 in two years, and it'll fix everything, and then we'll ruin it all for the next game.
I hate how Darktide 2 will come back.
And then they'll make Vermintide, Agent Sigma, and the cycle will be getting new.
I just don't get how the Left 4 Dead clone games even...
Because surely they don't plan these games for long term because people get bored after 20 hours.
People still play Left 4 Dead.
Yeah, but the people who liked Left 4 Dead itself still has a very active player base.
The people who like those games, they like them.
But the Left 4 Dead games got a lot of maps.
Darktide don't got as many maps yet.
Maybe they will add some later, possibly.
Darktide is the same problem as Vermintide before.
It will one day be a good game, but it's not.
Or the sequel will be.
This game will be a good game, but not this day.
I enjoy it. I like shooting stuff.
It is fun though.
There will come a time when Darktide is playable, but it is not this day.
You can also mod the tank to have the epic rap battles of history, Darth Vader vs. Vader.
I was really sad that this game flopped.
I was excited for it.
I think it's a B at least.
I don't.
I was expecting something more interesting from the iDivine Cybermency guys.
The story is just like, it's nothing.
There's nothing to it, but the moment to moment gameplay is kind of fun.
Until you try to melee someone and your animation is just like...
It has a lot of issues that I think are more fine tuning than fundamental issues.
It's clunky.
When it comes together, the techno soundtrack, which is phenomenal, is blaring.
You're flying on the walls and stuff.
Oh yeah, the soundtrack is great.
When it comes together, it's very fun.
I know a soundtrack saving bad games are coming along in this discussion.
It really can't do it.
Yeah, it's got a lot going for it, but also it's kind of shit.
It does have a cyber help.
It's just low budget energy.
It's got a dog.
Low budget energy.
When it comes together, it comes together phenomenally.
It's just for a Doom clone, it does not keep up the energy you need to be a Doom clone.
Also, having a loot system in a game like that is so stupid.
I can't believe anyone thought it was a good idea.
I don't get it.
Please tell me you don't have to physically pick up the items.
What were they cooking?
Speaking of the...
Is it like with looting?
Do you actually have to physically click on and pick stuff up?
It's kind of like Borderlands or whatever, where you go to their chests.
There are inexplicable boxes full of guns everywhere, and you pick up the guns.
Here's 58 guns. I can only carry one at a time, mate.
It does 1% damage to non-binary enemies on a Tuesday.
I have to give my one, probably a bit unreasonable problem with it, is Necromunda bores the hell out of me.
Dang.
Necromunda feels like someone described Warhammer and someone else drew it.
You know what I mean?
It's too obvious.
Because there's no Primark slop.
No space marines, bro. No space marines.
It just feels like a little bit...
They're big guys in armor.
My problem with Warhammer is that it's way too on the nose.
Warhammer is supposed to be on the nose, bro.
Do you not understand? Is that unreasonable?
Why are you talking about this franchise?
Necromunda doesn't do anything.
I want this.
Hey, it's got sexy punk ladies.
I was just going to say, before Hal digs an even deeper hole, I should mention that Damien P. donated $4.99.
Thank you, sir.
Look, if you play the Tide games, you have Brain Rot, because they're the same game with a different coat of paint on it.
That's what I've been saying.
I'm afraid you are literally me.
The next game, though, now this is a recent release.
I haven't gone to play it yet.
I have not played this, but everyone rates this quite high.
I don't like CRPGs, so I'm already out.
Have you played it, Dread?
It's peak.
You've played it.
It's peak.
It's okay, I guess.
Mid-A, maybe.
There is a lot of the usual CRPG nonsense.
Which I enjoy in moderation.
The characters are fun.
It's good. Dark Eldar, if you're into that.
Yes.
Yeah, I don't.
Colin's already thinking about Mommy Marathi.
These are the other ones.
This is Mommy Lilith.
This is a good space.
There's a Dark Elf guy in it, and he's a jerk.
As it should be, surprising.
Did you like it as much as Baldur's Gate or more?
I wouldn't quite go that far.
It's a different ball game.
I am putting my shill hat on in addition to my regular hat.
Baldur's Gate 3 really did raise the bar as far as CRPGs go.
Rogue Trader is just a really, really good CRPG, but Baldur's Gate is kind of like...
Baldur's Gate pushed the envelope so much that the game industry was like,
could you stop making games this good? It makes us look bad.
Guys, could you just make good games as well, please?
I have too much tism.
The amount of cope going on in the games industry when that was getting game of the year.
You shouldn't allow the audience to expect games of this caliber.
It's like, why not?
Lorian have been doing this stuff for years and years and years.
They've got the sauce.
You can't just expect anyone to have the sauce.
You can't make a really good game without cramming microtransactions in and calling gamers stupid.
It's like, come on. No. Just make good games and we'll play them.
I do somewhat agree with that statement.
They cooked that one for a while, but I've also seen...
Even going back to the original Divinity games, the very first one,
I've played those and you can see the strands of what would eventually become Baldur's Gate 3 in those.
I think when you've got as much experience as those guys have, you're bound to make something great.
Unless you're like Warren Spector and you make two Epic Mickeys.
But apart from that...
It's been about 10 years since I've thought of Epic Mickey.
Thank you for that, mind-warmer.
You go from Deus Ex to that. I don't know what...
What was he cooking?
To be honest, I'm just waiting for Mass Effect 4.
Mass Effect 4, bro.
Bro, please.
Shut up, Colin.
I've been waiting for Elder Scrolls 6, Dragon Age...
I thought I brought...
I think at least 3 was mid.
Inquisition?
2 and 3 were mid.
What was that?
Who was fucking terrible? What are you talking about?
That was one of the worst games I've ever played in my life.
But 3 is kind of mid as well.
And then 1 was just like, yes!
Oh, it's worse! Oh, it's still not as good as the first one!
Dragon Age is an introsession, the definition of a good game.
Not a great game, but a good one.
Bloated game. Full of busy work.
Yeah, well, I did it. I completed it.
Also, all the characters have really shiny faces and it's really distracting.
Yeah, they're so sweaty.
The armour looks weird as well.
The armour... everything's shiny.
The armour in all those games has always been awful fantasy crap.
It's shinier than my forehead.
Again, we're talking about Warhammer.
We're doing something a bit weird for the next three.
So these are tie-ins.
So this is Warhammer World of Tanks.
Come on!
Eskere, Eskere, Eskere! Get it up there, baby!
I'm not going to do that.
I can't.
It's not even a game! It's...
It's Warhammer World of Warships.
Well, you say that. Where's World of Warships?
Bring it up! Come on, Eskere!
I don't like that. I don't like that.
The fact that Korn was the one they chose and that was crazy.
Andy, you add it right now.
Where is Warzone?
Where's what?
Where is Warzone?
I am not tainting this tier list with that garbage.
I'm not doing it.
We've come this far.
Half of these games are like...
Alright, let's bring back some normalcy here.
We need to be serious.
Warhammer in the power washing DLC.
I have heard that is actually kind of cool.
I've heard it's very therapeutic.
That's not worth it.
I'm not going to pay for something I could be paid to do in real life.
You can wash a Warlord Titan in real life?
That's basically what some of the bigger trucks are getting to be.
True.
I wish I was the kind of person who played farming simulator.
You wish you were German.
Maybe not.
I'll put it down to C.
If that's an S tier, that's crazy.
Final one.
Bulb Gun.
I'd be okay with this.
Because I have a tiny little pea brain, I get lost in a lot of the levels.
Oh yeah, I hate the directions of that game.
I like my modern, real road, linear slop.
I don't like these big expensive maps where you get to go anywhere and do anything.
I'm a tiny little pea brain in a tiny little pea brain world.
I like being told where to go and what to do.
I shouldn't like Bulb Gun, but a lot of the stuff I do like about it.
That's where I'd put it.
I enjoy playing it a little bit on the Switch, but I can't play more than a level or two at a time.
I get very bored after a couple of levels, and it's just the same thing for 50 billion levels.
Also, the secrets are garbage.
I've gone around a corner and there's just a thing.
You found the secret.
That's what all those Doom games are like.
But then there's a wall you have to click on.
Could we have some consistency, please?
One or the other, please.
It feels very...
People complain about the war, the prom is a bit too obvious.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know.
I know we're all talking back about it.
If you want to play a Doom clone, but this time it's original Doom, this is the highest of high tiers.
This game is very fun if that's what you want.
I'd rely on this as A is a crime.
These guys put Fogerman B tier, so like...
What do you expect?
I think it's okay where it is.
It's fine. We'll live.
We're happy with that list, though.
Yeah, okay.
I wish I'd played half of these games.
Same.
We got a request from Ludie McShootie.
Thank you.
I don't like that Mr. Nowork got real excited for World of Tanks and ships.
There's no connection between these two things.
It's like he got stepped on by a certain Dami Mami.
Neither of these are connected.
They put Marathi in World of Warships.
Alright, we don't need to discuss this.
Okay.
Andy, if we have time for it, so everyone in the case do the Eld Up.
From Software Games.
Dark Souls 2.
I'm going to find out where Cullen lives and I'm going to go and kill him.
I'm already on it.
Dox this man!
Please don't dox him.
I've got a PO box.
Send me all of the cum you can.
I'll just send you my copy of Dark Souls 2.
Do not send Cullen mayonnaise in the post.
Don't do it.
I've played one of these games.
We should start in...
This is just going to be on...
Okay, it's peak.
It's not peak.
No, it is not.
It's peak.
You get that out of BT here right now.
You put that up.
This is even the remake.
It's got atmosphere.
It's Kino.
It's Ludo.
It's level structure is garbage.
No! That's the best thing about it.
You don't have to go through a billion tunnels.
That Manta Ray boss fight is bullshit and I don't like it.
It's about the atmosphere.
It's about the game feel.
It's not about doing a bunch of flip-de-loops and doing a 360 degree backflip and walking away.
It's not about pressing the button and something else happening.
It's about the atmosphere.
Music is mid.
Anyway, yes, the music is mid.
It's very mid.
What's with the trumpets?
The remake music is mid. The original is great.
Listen, I am...
I would like to see it for the record that I'm not okay with this being in B, but...
Donation by that greyshark77.
He says, bolt gun in A tier.
The codex of stardust does not support this action.
It's got...
Look, I got lost, okay?
You need to put a big arrow to tell me where to go.
I may have defended it if I played it, but I have not.
Okay, Dark Souls...
It's really good, but not perfect.
No, hey, that wasn't me before!
I looked like I was in the screen and I was sneaking.
I moved you when you were distracted.
You tried to pull a fast one on me, buddy.
I tried to put a sneaky on you.
Yeah, exactly.
The better one, A.
The better chaos.
Huh?
Hey, Dark Souls 1 is A?
Yeah.
Only the greatest mania level design.
Quintessential Dark Souls.
The foreground which all would come.
I feel like that should be reserved for S tier.
S tier should be like, there's only one thing that can take S tier, I think.
Yeah, and it's not Dark Souls 3.
No, it's not.
Don't worry.
It's between those two.
I mean, I just specifically didn't watch our Dark Souls tier list because I knew how bad it was going to be.
No!
To be fair, what's the order everyone played in?
Did everyone play Dark Souls 1 first?
I played in release order because I'm a true gamer.
I played in reverse.
I played 1, 2, then eventually I got around to Dark Souls on the PS3, then I got Dark Souls 3, I've never played Bloodborne, and I've never played Sekiro, and I've never played Elden Ring.
I messed up my first playthrough of Dark Souls 1 because I didn't realise there's multiple ways.
My friend made me play, he said, I said, I know nothing about this game, he said, that's exactly what you should do.
He told me literally nothing, just watch me play it.
And I immediately went to Firelink Shrine, then went left down towards the grave.
Yeah, oh no.
But then I didn't realise things could over-encumber you, so I grabbed that Zweihander immediately.
And I was slow rolling for so much of the game.
You know what I mean?
I'm not a pro at the game, but I can get to New Game Plus Free without getting frustrated and chucking my controller across the room.
I literally got onto playthrough 3 and I thought, man, I was like, fuck it, so I've stopped playing on the Switch again.
But what I do like about Dark Souls 1 is you can play the game again, and then you can go, I'm going to do a different route.
Like this time I played it last, I went through New Londo, and then there was another one where I went straight to Pinwheel, and then there's another playthrough when I started, and I went blah blah blah.
And you can experiment with how you're going to go about the bosses and all that.
What is that you like?
People are angry.
I love that image.
What do you mean, you're angry?
I just got that in the chat.
Is this the Halo 2 list all over again?
Killhound says it's good.
I was not on the Reddit for that point. I looked it up and the image on Google Images takes me to Reddit. You cocksucker.
The only reason I can't put Dark Souls 1 higher.
Dark Souls 2 is for redditors confirmed.
I have an interview for Miyazaki pulled up for this right now.
Dark Souls 1, to be fair, my nostalgia glasses are thick on this one, but I understand if I was to play them all now, I'm not sure I'd choose Dark Souls 1 first.
It is like half finished and kind of messy.
There's a lot of stuff right against it, but it defined a generation.
I must admit, this was one where I was like, you play it and it changes how you play a video game.
Or at least for me, after I played this, I was like, oh, this is fundamentally changed how I play video games, so I'm not as brash and I'm a bit more cautious.
You can reuse bosses as well.
Ornstein.
You can never have too many bosses.
We use bosses.
And then half of them turn up as enemies.
The Taurus demon and stuff.
I don't think I've ever felt the hate I did an enemy towards the Capra demon when I first played that game.
Oh my god.
We got a donation from Ludie McShootie. Colin can read it maybe.
Fuck you.
Can we ban Colin for bad takes?
His worst take of all time is yet to come.
Here we say this like men. Dark Souls 2.
Put both of those in S tier right now. S tier. They're the best.
No, no, no. You take that away. You don't even let that touch Demon's Souls.
It's not even on the same level.
Here's the thing. Dark Souls 2 is not the best Souls game, but it's better than Demon's Souls in my opinion.
I actually personally think Dark Souls 2 was a really great project for us, said Miyazaki.
And I think without it, we wouldn't have had a lot of the connections and a lot of the ideas that went forward and carried the rest of the series.
But at the same time, you couldn't have done that without the first one.
And you couldn't have had the stuff in Dark Souls 2 without the first one.
It has the best magic. It has the best PvP. It has the best hub area in any Souls game.
I mean, look at all of that stuff because it looks like trash. It plays like trash.
It does not play like trash.
You are out of your fucking...
Look at this. It's drip.
Listen buddy, listen pal. I did my time in the pits of Demon's Souls.
I played through Dark Souls 1. I was excited. I was a little happy little, happy little scamp of a boy when Demon's Souls 2 arrived at my doorstep.
I played it. I cried my eyes out because it was so terrible.
It's okay.
Judge, send this man to jail for never leveling adaptability.
Adaptability shouldn't be in the game. You shouldn't tie a quirk of the animation system to the fucking stat system.
It doesn't work. There's a reason why nobody ever does it.
Because it doesn't work and it's stupid.
I need to level up the skill I used. I need to level up an ability I have.
I forbid. How dare that be a feature of the fucking game.
I was not taxed from my mechanical prize by the stat system.
I can dodge things. I can press buttons.
This freaking stat shouldn't be telling me, oh sorry mate we've reduced your iframes arbitrarily because your numbers didn't go up.
That's silly. That's such a stupid idea.
It's the best PvP. It is the best game.
Can we name all the DLCs? Does this also come in? This is including DLC. This is the Skull of the First Sin edition.
So Colin, can you name all the DLCs?
Name all the DLCs? Yeah, Skull of the First Sin. I don't know.
I got the game after Skull of the First Sin came out. I don't know the names of the DLCs. I just know they're all in Skull of the First Sin.
Was it literally like Crown of the Ivory King, Crown of the Such-and-Such King, and the Such-and-Such King?
Because there was only three. It was thematic.
What do you mean there was only three? There was only two and two. Or two and three.
There's three. There's the... There's the Sunken King crown, there's the Ivory Crown, and there's the Fume Crown or whatever it is.
And it all adds up. It all leads to a confrontation with a pile of sludge.
Also, one thing against Dark Souls 2, no patches. But you do have Peter Seraphinewix as Pate.
Pate. So it's like, ooh.
Pate. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh jeez. I got a character from Dark Souls 2.
I do like some of the risks and chances Dark Souls 2 took, but I just don't think it's like...
Such as?
Like, for example, they tweaked some of the mechanics. They tried some interesting things with some of the boss fights. You got the Dragon Rider with the bow, and you have to break the pillar to drop him, and they had things like...
Yeah, they had the first one where you had the levers you could pull to make the boss fight bigger or smaller.
And chariots. But at the same time, there was a lot of reused bosses like Ornstein.
The Pursuer was a neat idea, but that was the only time I found like, ooh, a boss that chases you is cool, but it's over too quickly, and then it's like, oh, I can just use the Ballista to take off most of his house.
The Pursuer doesn't even actually chase you. It's all an illusion. It's all an illusion. It's not real.
If that's your only video game, the video game is like, ahhh!
No, but you picked your ice cubes.
I do think the copium is heavy on this one.
And the thing is, I prefer it to Demon's Souls because for me, Demon's Souls is a victim of its age where it's just...
I haven't played the remake, but the original, I was just like, it's a bit like...
I was spoiled by playing Dark Souls first thing going back to it and going, oh, I don't like the jankiness, or I don't like this boss fight, or I don't like how I have to travel between worlds rather than it just being like a really meticulous world.
There's a build for everything. There's a build for every problem you have in Dark Souls 2.
We have a Harry Ballantyne for donation.
I'm all listening.
Five pounds to a dreaded one. With all disrespect, continue shouting.
Yeah, see, he gets it. He understands my passion.
Also, Dread is winning in the poll for being who's the foster parent.
The people have spoken, I'm afraid.
I dunno what, to be fair, do you know what I think Dark Souls 2's problem is? Is mostly due to its opening second of the game.
Yeah, that was like, what a stupid marketing stuff.
When I played all these games before, I very much got immersed a lot faster than I did in Dark Souls 2. Dark Souls 2 I knew would be good, but I really had to push through to get something where I thought I was enjoying myself.
Like, again, like, there's... Yeah, it's anyone I really struggled to get into initially.
And I think, you know what's funny? I played that... I played the old Dark Souls on like a crappy PS3, and then I played Dark Souls 2 on PC, like, best edition.
You got a good donation. Ludi McShooDie2.is there a build for not playing DS2?
I think it's fine there, Colin.
The only problem with Dark Souls 2 is the Shrine of Amana. Whoever designed that part of the game should explode.
I think there's also, there's a bit of copium on, like, the actual animations and combat is clunky.
I enjoy playing Dark Souls 2. I'm having fun.
But there's also just some weird gimmicks. Like, I don't like, why the hell do I need to get, like, giant souls to harm Vendrick? That's just busy work. I didn't like that.
Because he's a large-scale fight! You don't need to fight Vendrick!
But it was just such a weird arbitrary, like, just gonna get this many of these! If it wasn't a key item, it was just busy work. I don't like that.
I don't like that. I like to fight the boss when I'm supposed to fight the boss, or get to him early and then have a more challenging fight, but then have to use skill to bridge the gap.
Rather than, you need five of these particular things to do some damage! You don't need them! You could still hurt him without it!
Nirenai I still hold in high regard, but a lot of the other parts of Dark Souls 2 lore, I just, like, I could...
The Royal Rat Vanguard is the best fight in Dark Souls history!
Exactly! Every fight is like that! He's not even a rat, he's like a big dog thing!
No, it's the one before that where it's just dirty rats!
Plus, I mean, truly, it was Vermintide before we had Vermintide.
There are some called NPCs, but there aren't as many good iconic ones as the first game, in my opinion.
Bear CC Clust!
It's just the gaming story, as a small...
The thing is, we'll get to Dark Souls 3 in a bit, but Dark Souls 2 started all the stupid nostalgia baiting stuff that would eventually plague the series.
You know, oh, here's Ornstein for some reason. You know, stuff like that.
I've got words to say in Dark Souls 3 about that topic.
I think we broadly agree in regards to Dark Souls 3.
Let's get that out of the way, then. Let's go through Dark Souls 3. Where's that going?
I think just... It's only exactly the same. It is Dark Souls... Put it between Dark Souls 3 and the remake. It's just the same game.
Oh, no! No! No! What?
I have the same feelings.
We can't put it here?
No, it's not!
Sorry. Here?
No!
Or here?
No! A here?
I'd put it in C, honestly! I would!
No!
Can you say why? Can you explain why?
It didn't click. It didn't click with me.
I would give it B, but bottom of B.
No, it's better than Demon's Souls.
No, it's not! Shut up!
Oh my gosh.
Let me tell you what Dark Souls... Oh, no. You first, Dread.
Look, Dark Souls 3 and Demon's Souls are at opposite ends of the spectrum, because Dark Souls 3 is safe.
It's retreading old ground. It's not doing anything new. Whereas Demon's Souls were the biggest gamble of the generation, and it paid off.
Whereas Dark Souls 3 is like, oh, well, we'll just do what we did last time, and we'll just reference the first game over and over again.
One thing is, though, I did feel a single tear when I heard Plinplon plan fighting the Soul of Cinder.
It's like, oh my god.
Okay, yeah, that was...
That is fine.
Dare I say, Keno?
You made dare.
Dark Souls 3 is just, in terms of actual... as much as we take our own biases out of this, as it turns into a gameplay experience, story as well, honestly, it's one of the best games ever.
And I've got to say, the DLC with Slave Knight Gale.
Oh, that's a boss fight. Probably my favourite in the series.
I did like Slave Knight Gale. Unfortunately, Dark Eater Medeer exists before that, and I despise Dark Eater Medeer.
That is an optional boss, though.
I don't care if he's in the game.
As much as you claimed Plinplon about Vendrick earlier, okay.
Yeah. Now I get to bitch. I never said I wasn't biased.
Dark Souls 3 is better than Demon's Souls.
Shut up!
Dark Souls combat is good because it's bloodborne combat, but shields are viable.
Look at the beat tier list here. If you had to play one of those games right now, most people would pick Dark Souls 3 to go play right now.
Demon's Souls is fresh. It's hip. It's withered. It's fresh.
Should I do this, actually? I think that's fair. Because this is basically this, but better, right? Am I wrong? I haven't played it.
There are things I like about it that are better. Some of the aesthetic choices, I think, are a bit questionable.
Yeah, and the music. I don't like the music either, but the audio design is incredible, and it looks great.
I just really like, particularly my enjoyment of Dark Souls 3.
What's the bit at New Londo where particularly you can sign up with the Covenant where it's like the bishop's one?
Dark Wraiths?
The bishop who's like the corpse in New Londo.
Oh, yeah, like the colonel.
Yeah, and you basically do PvP stuff. The PvP grounds slash invasion part near there in Dark Souls 3 is one of my most favorite memories of playing video games.
Just because of the amount of like, I was dog shit in PvP.
But the amount of times I just knocking people off of the sides of the wall and winning completely unfairly.
Also using the crystalline ice sword that you get in the beginning. Don't care if it's a new weapon.
And the lore is out of everything in B tier. The lore is the best in Dark Souls 3 by far.
Boss fights are enjoyable as well. Even Sister Frieda was difficult as hell.
But I felt very rewarded by actually completing every single boss fight.
I felt so sorry for that guy when he was like, ah, bashing the thing. I was like, oh, he made me feel good.
Again, it's not innovative. You're right, it's not as innovative as the rest of them in the series.
But I'm glad it put Dark Souls to rest. Like, it ended it. If they'd never made Dark Souls 3, I would have been gutted.
Yeah.
May I have a moment?
Yeah, you could.
I will. Another moment on my pile of rants about Dark Souls.
Go for it.
I will admit, I played Dark Souls 1 first for like 30 minutes, got confused because I was like 13 at most, and then stopped.
Two was the first one I got into, but three was the first one I beat.
And every moment going through three, it's like I could feel Miyazaki hanging over my shoulder and going, hey, Dark Souls 1 fan, you're now allowed to stop edging.
You can blow your load now. It's T'Lare. It's Andre. It's the fucking Gwyndolin fight, but worse in every way because now he's just a fat slug.
I could feel him going like, Dark Souls 1 fan. Good.
In an impeccable English, oh, American accent as well, which was great.
I'm saying you haven't completed Dark Souls 2, your favorite.
No, I did it reverse.
At the time.
Oh, I was about to say, my God, I'll drop that.
Like, three was the first one I beat.
I really wish, I think Dark Souls 3 should be top of B. I just can't let Dark Souls 2 ever be ranked higher than Dark Souls 3.
Can we do a compromise? Can we say it's between the two Dark Souls?
Because I honestly think Scholar is a really good improvement on the base game.
They added more spawns of enemies. They tightened up some of the scenarios.
I just hate the gameplay part. That's too... If the gameplay movement of three was in two, I think two would be better.
But it's held back by... The gameplay was better in Dark Souls 1. That's what annoys me.
So not all the magic systems, all that stuff, but the actual just movement, roll, and kick.
God damn it.
This is so... pain.
Alright, the next one.
I've got a donation for the roll for $5. I've never played a Dark Souls game.
I just enjoy reading the endless screeching and whining of game genres, making for an easy mode when a new one releases.
I'd like to change Demon's Souls and move it up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been thinking. I've been thinking.
Okay.
Very good game. Although I haven't played it, I can, full honesty.
What?
To...
Hang on. I don't know if I opened my mouth.
Alright, moving on.
I think it should be higher.
Let's just move on. Okay.
Bloodborne.
We'll just agree. We're going circles.
Let's do that. How about that? Is that fun? Is that good?
It's peak. It's peak. It's peak.
Alright. I haven't played Bloodborne, but I really want to.
Bloodborne is, in fact, the S tier.
It's the second. There's no denying that.
Oh, Colin's fuming.
Oh, is there something denying that?
He looks like he's just...
I'm not saying Bloodborne doesn't belong in S tier. I'm just saying...
Yeah, you'd rather Dark Souls 2 was there, wouldn't you?
I would, but I'm also looking at Elden Ring.
I think they might compete for top spot.
But honestly, Bloodborne, lore, gameplay.
I mean, the fact that this game came out before Dark Souls 3 is crazy.
And my God, if I don't know how many times I've listened to lore videos about it,
I played it, I don't know how many brawn throughs I've done on that game.
By the way...
I was going to say I missed my weapons.
Just anyway, I can't even imagine.
Moonlight Greatsword, by the way, that thing has carried my beloved throughout many fights.
It's annoying that it gets so late.
It's annoying that it comes so late in that game.
But my God, is it enjoyable.
And again, I'm just a sucker for Lovecraftian stuff.
And it's disgusting that game in a sense.
I like the tape as a big spider.
This is the twist, the twist halfway through.
I didn't know nothing about it.
I didn't know nothing about it getting into it.
And then you go from fighting werewolves and other spooky guys to aliens.
Peek!
Peek, I say.
The fact that I was munching like an innocent spider wrong.
And then eventually the moon went bloody.
I was like, yo, what?
No one in a FromSoft game is innocent because if they were innocent, I wouldn't get souls when I kill them.
Siegmeyer of Katarina and Solera, lovely boys.
He is, but I want his armor.
The change up for the combat system as well, just being hyper aggressive.
Oh yeah.
Isn't there a bit where it dunks on you if you get a shield part way through it?
It's like, look at this piece of crap.
The only thing I would...
You get a proper shield eventually.
Well, you can.
Yeah, you can. It's a board.
But if you use that thing, you truly are fucking Bloodborne's strongest soldier.
The only thing I will say against Bloodborne is that this is one FromSoft where it started adding enemies with 15 second long attacks that just never end.
And the delay thing that happens, they wind up and then they go, that's getting kind of old now.
We'll get to it, but Elden Ring's full of that and I kind of hate it.
Shout out to Morgh-Morghott.
Morgh, get my brain in gear.
Next one is Sekiro.
Sekiro is C.
I have only C tier?
I don't like Sekiro.
Should we just leave one tier because we don't need this one?
This might be the only one I've only done once.
I haven't played the game, but I've watched my friends play all of these games and out of all of them, Sekiro is by far the most exciting and looks like it requires the most skill.
It probably has the best combat.
Yeah, the lore doesn't quite hit as hard as the other ones, but my god is it fun playing this game.
It's just Japan. It's like real life Japan. Japan's a real place.
That's very true.
Honestly, this game to be fair, the learning curve of this one is quite steep.
We're getting a lot of abuse in the comments.
The thing is, I don't like it because the states...
The comments are cooking you, Colin.
I'm sure they are.
As usual.
DJ Beast, I saw it, believe me.
I honestly think Sekiro should go to bottom of A.
I think it's not as iconic and not every Souls player is going to play this game.
But is it a better made game?
But on every metric of playing the game...
The stealth is completely out of place. If you use the stealth, you will have no practice at the combat.
But it broke new ground.
You go to fight the boss after stealting through the whole area and then you get your dick flattened because you have no practice in the combat.
How much of the game have you played, by the way?
Probably like five hours, so by Dark Souls standards fucking nothing.
I was going to say, stealth, by the way, in the beginning is much more...
Then why is it there?
The bonus of stealth is it can play to a benefit in terms of some bosses and some enemies.
It can help take off...
You know they have multiple life chunks.
You get the advantage of it rewards you for playing...
It does reward you for playing stealth, but you are ultimately forced to do combat.
You can take off a chunk of health.
I'm saying, you take off a chunk of health, then you have no practice at the combat.
So I'm using the system the game will feed.
We've got to finish it!
There's the boss fight with Lady Butterfly.
That's the one that locks you in.
Lady Butterfly is the boss battle that actually locks you in.
I only know the Moonlight Butterfly.
The best boss fight in all Dark Souls.
It's a person.
That's the one that locks you into the combat of the game and it clicks.
You realise dodging, rolling, it's out.
Also, here's the guy who you fight on top of the castle.
He has the jumping lightning bow.
I forgot his name.
That's the fight as well.
That's the point where a lot of people quit the game.
This is the make or break.
You have to get it, otherwise you just can't continue the game.
Honestly, once you get past that, it opens up and the game is so much more enjoyable.
The last boss fight in this game...
Holy crap.
Does Japan have such poor level design?
Whoa.
That was so...
Honestly, the last boss fight in this game, I have never died more to anything in the entire run-through of any game.
I died a lot to Sanctuary Demon in Dark Souls 1.
It's embarrassing, I know.
You should show everyone this for those who haven't seen it.
What is that?
Describe it for the audio listeners.
That would be a picture of me over King Vendrick from Dark Souls 2.
With the caption, mods mock this man.
I think it is fair to say that Colin is Dark Souls 2's strongest soldier.
Truly.
Whether that's a title you would want, I'll leave that to the discretion of the individual.
Does anyone else feel any certain way about Sekiro though?
A lot of people just miss this one.
I never finished it, but while I played it was very good.
The thing is, as someone who hasn't played Sekiro, it seems like it's a bit of a strange...
If you're used to playing games like Bloodborne and Dark Souls, where there's big grand dragons and boss fights and monsters, and then it's just blokes with swords...
Oh, there is a dragon.
...it's kind of one dragon. Cool.
There is a dragon.
But for the most part, it seems a bit less fantastical compared to all the other ones, where you could have a disgusting rat demon.
As we discussed, Japan is a real place.
Contrary to popular beliefs, Japan is real.
Believe it or not.
Funny you say that, Andy, but everyone's most favourite fights from the Souls series has always been the one-on-one, slave fight gale.
The humanoid fights, like gale.
And it leans in really heavily to that part. Each boss fight is really well...
No one enjoys calamite. That's just not fun. Screw calamite.
I really wish that one...
The dick-flattening dragon.
Was there the one in Dark Souls 2 that's also an abusive amount of hate?
Ancient Dragon.
Oh, the big one.
Yeah, that's an engaging boss fight, isn't it? Hacking away at a dragon's ankles for 30 minutes.
Exactly.
You get a lot of souls, though, when you're done. The numbers go up.
If only the game itself had any souls.
Oh, jeez.
Don't make me get the interview back.
Alright, last one on the list, though.
Okay, I'm afraid...
It's pink, I think, this way as well.
Someone else now dreaded not to get in hot water, I've got a feeling.
Were you about to say something bad about him?
No, no, I love everything.
I thought you were gonna...
No, no, it's great. I don't like it quite as much as Bloodborne, because I think it's kind of...
Some of the later areas are kind of like, oh, they ran out of time, they're just filling space with random bosses, which are no enemies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost too big for its own good, but I think it sticks the landing, because the last run of bosses is just...
At least enough.
The final boss is a little...
A little missed for me.
Maybe, yeah, I keep...
The little sword-wielding space worm thing at the end. I didn't feel like that was...
With the DLC coming out, all the other games are pretty much...
They could change the game, once again.
But my god, is that game worth your money?
I will...
I can't play it.
I have two things to say about it. Three things.
One of them is a criticism, the other two are positive, I swear.
It's a soft criticism.
Elden Ring has made me finally accept that we're never getting back the spell slots of Dark Souls 1 and 2.
I've just finally had to come around and accept that it's gone forever, which I hate.
Get rid of the... I don't want the FB bar for magic, I'm just gonna say it.
I've played Dark Souls and similar games in the series a few times.
I never mess much around with magic.
I've got to be honest, I don't really see the appeal of going plonk and then just...
Comet Azure!
Plonk.
Because it's not plonk, it's a kamehameha.
It's like a point-and-click adventure game.
It's like click on...
Ooh!
And you can stand a mile away from it.
By that logic, all games are...
In all games, you point and click on things.
There's no dodging, there's no finding the opening, it's standing really far.
There is!
What?
Yeah, there is.
It's a FromSoft game, they're on your ass at all times, of course you're still dodging.
In Elden Ring you can just get a sword, but it's blue and it's magic.
What I'm hearing is you've never used Moonlight Greatsword, my beloved, because you need it for that.
Shit, dude, you only got one end.
I only have one.
Iron Man's is fine, but yeah.
What was the other big bonus as well, Colin?
The other two things.
One, there's never been a fight that's made me as pumped as when Godric turns into Horoloo and just starts eating the ever-loving shit out of you.
It's peak! It's peak!
Warrior!
I do that in Siege, just scream that out and run to Sledge.
And the other thing, every boss fight against Tibia Mariner is a good boss fight.
I'm never upset to see another Tibia Mariner, I'm always happy to see the funny boatman.
If you go to Venice, the other Mariner's is real.
You could go to Venice with a sword.
You will get arrested, but, you know...
Worst doesn't have been Venice.
I have one complaint about Elden Ring.
It better not be about Tibia Mariner.
No.
Eli, what were you saying?
We missed one Warhammer game, by the way.
Oh!
And that is the Warhammer MOBA.
What are you talking about?
Which is called Dark Nexus.
It was out for a little bit and then it got cancelled.
But I did play it.
I played one match of it and it made absolutely no sense.
So then that was it.
Okay. So, like a MOBA.
Truly.
As a Dota 2 fan, I thought I'd throw that out there.
No, I have 12,000 hours in Dota 2.
Nice!
Oh, brah!
Nice!
Big win.
It was getting to be an actual addiction.
Not in a meme-y way.
I was actually addicted to it.
I would stay up literally all night and play it.
And I had to...
Okay.
It's a tough question, isn't it?
Top three.
Top three, even.
Here's one for the Warhammer fans.
Abaddon...
I love the horseman.
Omni Knight.
And I like Tiny, but I'm really bad at him.
He's really fun to play, but if you mess it up, then everyone on your team gets mad at you.
And that doesn't feel good.
What's the little hand playing MOBA server experience?
Did you play position three or four, then?
Normally, yeah, normally three or four.
Sometimes I was happy to do five.
Usually I don't do Kari or mid because there's too much pressure.
If you front-pull everyone else at you.
And I don't like that part of it.
That's why I stopped playing.
I was queuing for all, and then I got put in mid.
And I was like, oh, guys, I honestly can't play mid.
If I play mid, you will lose.
And they were like, oh, it'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
Just play mid.
I've played the worst mid of my life and everyone yelled at me.
And I actually started to tear up of it.
And I just have to.
I only play with friends for that reason.
I would never solo queue.
That sounds like the pits of hell.
Solo queue and Dota 2 magic experience.
For what it's worth, Dread, we love you.
Thank you, guys.
We're friends now.
If you had to play Dota with me, you might not love me, but let's never play Dota.
Yeah, me too.
I've never played Dota in my life.
You're fine.
Why do you take that last hit?
You're an idiot.
I'm getting flashbacks.
No.
That just makes me mad.
I play carry and my friend who just started playing has been supporting me.
And it takes a lot of patience.
Oh my gosh.
It takes a lot of patience to have somebody.
Holy cow.
I'm very glad that apparently the only Warhammer MOBA they've ever tried has flopped horribly.
It was really weird.
No more.
No more of this.
I run a vision like Elden, my only criticism is that the game is pretty damn amazing.
But coming from Sekiro, which had probably the best combat in the entire series, to then
going back to what was essentially Dark Souls 1 combat, I got...
There's jumping.
My experience of Sekiro was intense.
And going back to playing Elden Ring, I was like, this is a little bit more like I'm not...
You know what I mean?
I had to get the iconic bosses to...
You cannot allow him to say Elden Ring is just Dark Souls 1 again.
You cannot let that go.
It is.
Stop cooking me for just a brief moment and cook him.
You cannot say he is right in this.
No one's cooking my takes.
There's jumping and there's...
You have a horse.
You have a horse, yeah.
That's two whole new additions to the combat system.
The horse is quite...
You have a fucking mount.
Yeah, but realistically you only use it...
You never want to fight on it because you're so limited.
I fight on Torrent all the time.
It makes the game so much easier.
That's true.
I don't know why...
Well, you're fighting on the mounted...
Yeah, and it's just cool.
You fight those knights.
Like Black Rider guys.
Yeah, that is so cool.
It's fun.
I wish Sekiro was...
I wish some part of the combat system was integrated into Elden Ring.
Because again, for them to innovate that well and then be like,
yeah, we're not going to do that again.
The trouble is, again, you've gone from this mega linear game
and then you've got this massive open...
That would be so much work with all those...
I'm assuming with all those enemy types.
Sekiro was reasonably open-word at some point.
I'm assuming most enemies were humanoid-ish.
Most of them, yeah.
But that's not my complaint.
But like with the combat...
The block system was fun.
They're still cooking me.
There's so much Colin Slander in the chat, dude.
I usually defend Colin due to the inability to read.
The lack of pancreas, but this is a step to the plot.
Oh my gosh.
Oh no.
Leave Colin alone, guys.
He's our friend.
Damn, kill Harry and Harry Valentine.
I think apparently his Carvapetrol stream rustled some jimmies.
It looks like...
Oh my gosh.
You're too much of a light.
No, that's the motherfucker...
The only evil going on about how Zangors are actually good.
Well...
Bro, you need either 40 stack of Zangors in your game
to hold your home objective,
because no one can munch through 40 Zangors.
I've did a game like that recently.
It was a tabletop game where someone bought a full company
of space marines at the tabletop.
My god.
200 wounds.
That's the hammer's strongest soldier.
I have the luck of doing only assault intercessor or something,
and then just get them in, boys.
It was tabletop sims, so the madman did not bring physically 200 marines.
That's less impressive.
Yeah, but it was still like, okay, I did all my damage,
I killed ten marines, that'd normally be cool, but...
People are going like, Zangors are mentioned, let's go.
I think, hopefully by...
Oh, another one from Tom Warren here.
I think Colin is proof that good taste in games lives in the bank.
Nice.
That's pretty good.
Unbelievable.
He got you.
Wow.
Holy shit, dude, you killed him.
Man.
It's somewhere, isn't it?
This is a roasting...
The likes of which are usually only seen in the eye of the...
Guys, you're always so fucking mean to Colin.
Leave him be.
Pick on Hal next time, or even me, come on.
Bro, we're not the one who has horrific Dark Souls 2.
I mean, he clearly was...
Dark Souls 2 is a fun game.
Come on.
You're like happy from sleepy feet.
You show me.
You show me where the Happy Souls is for any other Dark Souls game.
Happy Souls is a pillar of the Souls community in Dark Souls 2.
And to be fair, that Top Gear...
What's his name?
The guy who does Dark Souls stuff and he did an AI voice Top Gear episode of them killing all the DLC bosses.
You only get to kill one boss.
That's genius, that one.
And it's in Dark Souls 2.
That was the tier list dreams.
What was the first one we even did?
Warhammer Games.
Warhammer Games and arguing for 40 minutes about Dark Souls.
Tier list.
Sorry, from Software.
This is the Warhammer channel?
What?
Souls-born.
We couldn't get as argumentative about the Warhammer games because we hadn't played half of them.
Yeah.
DJP says, I mean Hal does speed home to kiss his dad in the mouth.
My man's watched the East Texas Anonymous podcast.
Thank you, brother.
Thank you everyone for watching, though.
We sure did talk about it.
We sure did a tier list.
We were all very civil.
Thank you so much for the donations everyone gave throughout the livestream.
We really appreciate that.
And thank you Dreadnought for joining us this morning.
Yeah, it was a very last minute thing.
But I got here in the end.
And now I have to change back all my Discord and email passwords because I had to...
See, I normally use Firefox, but you can't use this in Firefox.
You're using Firefox?
What's wrong with Firefox?
Are we going to have a browser tier list next to the...
Browser, dude.
That'd be funny.
OperaGX, the sponsor of this stream.
They tried to get me and I said no because I've got principles.
I just say no to everything because it's too much work.
DJBD starts a no stream tomorrow.
Just not for this week and next week, brother, just because of a scheduling stuff.
Too busy cooing.
We have...
Come on.
We're trying to...
I never say that.
I don't have to.
I don't have to say most of the stuff I say.
God.
Oh my gosh.
Thank you everyone.
And most of all, thank you Colin for his completely accurate...
For my...
Thanks.
For having a target on my back so everyone else can slide under.
He's got a thick skin.
He's got a thick, oily hide.
Oh, man.
Oily from all the bad...
Rare is Pepe, we are not doing a feet tier list.
No.
We're not doing a feet tier list.
Why, yes, we are.
Obviously.
The feet tier list is not coming before the end of the round.
Wait, no, she doesn't...
She don't have feet no more.
She's a snake.
Yeah, she doesn't have feet.
Yeah, but she does in Total War.
Can we get a lore crimes feet tier list, please?
No.
Listen, we got a Dreadnought diploma in the back.
You don't need to screen it.
Nobody should get that, okay?
It's dark so you can't see it.
Nobody talks to me.
Please.
Enhance.
Thank you so much for listening and watching.
If you made it this far, we should have said at the beginning, generally, like, please
like and subscribe and we'll catch you guys on the next one.
Thank you guys so much.
Bye everyone.
Bye.
Love you.
Dark Souls 2 sucks!
Stack Rolls not good.
My god.
Thank you.
My god.