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Alright, this is the best thing again. Oh no.
Please let us know if you can hear us and see us and also make sure you let us know if any of us are quiet and we'll adjust our microphones.
We've been giggling for some reason, we won't explain why.
Um.
Dude, ass hair is so thick my tiara is filled with water.
That's the horrible thing you make me think of.
No, it's... I can't begin like that.
This peanut butter is really freaking hidden.
Welcome to Lore crimes, everyone, thank you for coming.
Welcome to your peanut butter ASMR.
Well, my lord.
With that said.
We have something serious to discuss though and serious to argue about today, which um.
Lord have mercy, it's our, you know, hear our prayer, it's some god voice, we have to pick favorites.
Godric.
Jesus Christ.
Ted is just like slander calling for help.
There's a blanket under there, I have dogs that make it messy, I can't be bothered to make it.
That's what they all say.
Listen, leave Colin his corpse like.
There's a weird spot in the middle where it's like poking up.
I will de-dwell.
I will ask for help.
Yes, we're talking about gods.
And these guys have had silly juice and now Colin's having a meltdown.
Are we happy now?
Yeah, we good.
You've trained it well to run away when you open them, when you take the covers off.
Anyway, we have a bunch of gods here in it.
Now there's we actually the original list only had up to about here with the the jeans
dealers.
It didn't have any of the fantasy so Colin has helped with adding these here.
If we've missed any, you'll have to let us know.
Colin said if he's missed any, he might also just at one point just go and then we'll have
another one.
But I think the the best way to start this is with the Emperor.
So I'm just gonna put Emperor all the way up here.
The argument is already gonna be.
That's not true.
In 30k, I put him in like C tier, but in 40k I do I'm OK with him being top tier.
What's wrong with him?
He's not even top tier.
He's the main character of the set.
He doesn't give a damn about any of his followers.
He's an asshole.
He saves their souls.
He saves them so we can use them later.
But they're still he saves them from being consumed and tortured forever.
He's not on the same tier as Sigmar.
He is not on the same tier as Sigmar.
He is not.
You know what?
I'll be willing to concede and put him on the top of just one ass.
Because he's pretty damn he did it like Nurgle's garden on fire and told him to f off.
So yeah, yeah.
And Sigmar fought pretty hard.
Sigmar fought beings that would make the chaos gods afraid.
Sigmar went nonstop.
Fucking bet.
Oh yeah, we had to believe it.
He said that.
That's how all of Warhammer works.
We just have to believe it.
It's a tell a don't show setting.
To be fair, even when he wasn't a god, he clapped a katan shard.
So that's pretty cool.
Oh cool.
I'll call a shard.
I love that.
I don't see you out here battling.
You know who sharded a katan?
Because it's not a human god.
Who sharded a katan.
Don't put my katan in there please.
Right.
So yeah, I think that's a fair place to put the M4S1 out of your mouth.
The Tao Va.
Why is the Tao here?
They don't have any gods.
I don't know what they're trying to freaking do with the stupid plotline.
I haven't even read the book.
The Tao Va god is in the plot, I think it's in the fifth Sphere expansion where they get
lost.
They essentially, the Tao currently just skip over the warp, like a stone they skip over
it.
And then they had these new drives and went, oh these are like way better than our last
ones.
They're like farther and faster.
And then the entire fifth Sphere of expansion just zipped out of existence and they're like,
oh crap it did not go well.
And then they get sucked into the warp and then this multi-armed glowing deity which
they think was formed by the idea of the humans worshipping the greater good because that's
how they worship the emperor.
So they weren't used to the concept of the greater good being just like, that's just
a cool idea, not we have to worship it.
So they created like an entity in the warp that pushes them, the fifth Sphere back into
real space.
And so the Tao have a like multi-armed deity now.
So C tier.
I think it's dumb.
Can we put them in D?
I don't know how it even like, it doesn't make enough sense to me.
It's not like billions or trillions and trillions of humans are worshipping it.
And it's like a few planets are worshipping clay statues and that there's a god now all
of a sudden.
If Fenris can get its own world spirit, the Tao can get theirs.
I guess the whole point of the Tao is that they have no connection to the warp at all
though.
Yeah, they don't have no, they have a very limited connection.
Okay, right, you're right.
Because they don't think too deeply about it.
Bro, I got a ruler, I swear it's six inches, like come on Tao, calm down.
They kind of like, I guess-
Five inches is a lot.
I guess in my mind, the Tao are basically constantly faded, if you know what I mean.
Like they're just not, they're not quite in the moment.
They're just, they're like, oh yeah they do.
I don't know, they're just, I just feel like their god will get beaten up by all the other
gods at like, god prep school or whatever.
They just beat them up.
In the Shadow Sun book says Christopher, it destroys a Death Guard fleet and saves the
Tao homeworld from being invaded.
That sounds insane.
I have not read the Shadow Sun book, but I would like to.
I don't know, I feel like Korn could do that on like a Tuesday.
I don't know what I'm saying.
Yeah, uh, D-tier, appropriately though.
Games Workshop, oof.
I think that's a lot of tough things.
Is it Chaos Undivided, or are we just going to call it Games Workshop?
I think it's just Games Workshop.
So, um, from Mr. Idiot, we have five dollars.
Thank you Mr. Idiot.
Thank you.
I'd say Tao Fa should be seats here just for pranking a Death Guard fleet to eternal warp
damnation.
That's funny, but why is it powerful enough to do that?
Because it's funny and fuck a Death Guard.
Ugh, power levels.
Um, I think Games Workshop, honestly, if it's like Games Workshop, I would put him in the
SSS tier because that's our current employment, and it's basically the entire universe.
But it goes down a few pegs because of the Primaris Lieutenant.
So I'm going to put him in SS, if that makes sense.
Yeah, I have fun with that.
Yeah, they can all do some of the bad with it as well.
Some of the bad?
So we can give some of the bad Korn.
Korn, give him an A tier, I think he deserves an A tier.
No, no he's not.
This is going to be controversial.
He's living his best life.
Especially for me, I think it goes, I think he gets an S.
Cheeeeeeeesh.
Colin, you think he gets an S?
You hate him.
Listen, I do hate him, but think about it.
You go to Korn for one reason.
You want to hurt people, you want to hit people.
He gives you everything you need to hit people.
He's not a good god, he's not nice, but it's a very, you know, mutually beneficial relationship,
and he's the chaos guy that's least likely to turn you into soup.
Lest we forget the orc that he resurrects every day as well.
What's his name?
Tusker.
Yes, Tusker.
He's living his best possible life, more so than if he worshipped Gork and Mork, so that's
amazing.
I hate him.
I hate his tablecloths.
Every character corrupted by Korn is boring at that point.
That's not a slight against Korn.
He gives them what they need.
You want to hit people?
Let me help you hit people.
He's not his god, he's vanilla.
He's like top tier, cart door style vanilla.
He's got just enough vanilla pods, it's quite satisfying.
It's just vanilla, but that's okay.
He's the best cart niddle.
To be fair, most of the characters corrupted by the chaos gods, other than Aramon, are
very boring, because you just can't write them.
It's the end of an arc!
They've reached their arc of becoming who they are in 40k!
They've lost, and now they're on the bad guy side.
Chaos sucks in 40k, I remember my favorite faction, but they suck.
The recent Angron part where Korn channeled all his power into one of Angron's strikes,
and it literally splits a planet in two.
It eviscerates Angron in the process.
And then he loses to the lion!
Who saw that coming?
I did.
I can suck at that.
You can't match Korn with antisocial behavior disorders.
He's like, I don't like anyone, and I've got a sword.
Good old lion.
I'm gonna do a Chaos 1w challenge.
Impossible.
Oh my gosh.
It's being evangelords.
Who's this?
I love him.
I want to be insufferable.
He's S tier.
He's canon, guys!
He exists!
He's there, guys!
He's coming!
He was on Battle for Cadia, guys!
Sons of Malice are real!
Yeah bro, Malice is coming back any day now.
I don't understand how licensing works.
Eli, have you read the book with the Sons of Malice?
It's like one little part.
I just read it.
I've read it.
I've heard about it.
It's like one little part I know.
I have read that short story.
By the way, the only thing that ever happens in it is basically they end up summoning him
at the end.
That's it.
There's no anything.
Malice is real.
Malol's not real.
Malice is real.
I think Malol is owned by anyone.
Malol is a fantasy world that they record.
was made by an independent artist and I guess because of the way English laws
work in that regard he kept his stuff once he stopped working with GW. Yeah.
Yeah, so they had to pay in royalties so that's why they don't bother. Which is
yeah, fun fact. Oh sorry, what's up you? Oh, don't I want to hear you, fun fact?
They could still use him but that would mean GWA has to pay for the privilege
and doesn't have ironclad control over their IP so that's not happening. You're talking about the company that did ALVs.
ALVs and tried to suke someone for using the word space marine.
The Sons of Malice are cool space marines. They're a cool chaos space marine warband.
If it goes above a C2 I will actually write it. Oh come on.
It's honestly... He's chaos, but he's chaos. He's what chaos should be.
He's the contradictory force that makes sense for chaos.
He's like a perpetual child who basically says he's been complaining about not getting candy the entire time
and then when you give him candy he's like well I didn't really want it in the first place.
Malol is already like a B tier at best and Malice is just we have Malol at home.
Oh come on. C tier. We have to be more strict. It's C tier. Come on. No we don't.
We don't have a boss. He's A tier for me. Sons of Malice have one of the coolest callies games too so whatever.
That's not Malice. That's his kids. But his kids are cool.
I don't know. All I will offer to this is Malol. Malol who? Anyway.
Nurgley burgley boo. D tier because he's gross and icky.
He is icky. No but his space marines are cool.
If I can't use the Sons of Malice as an example then we can't use the Death Party.
Well that's just saying. His corruption is cool. Nurgle corruption does make the setting interesting.
So much pus coming out of every orifice. I feel like you see it so often though.
Cool. They use Nurgle as the most common enemy it feels like with Chaos. I don't know why.
But that's not his fault. It started in the end times I feel like because that was Nurgle's time
to shine and then you know the Death Party. To be fair Harry Ballantyne just mentioned he has a
pet Eldar god that goes up another notch in my book. He has Isha in the jaw. That's true.
Although when I look at this logo. The jaw keeps under his bed.
I don't respect that hustle. But when I look at this logo specifically do you know like the
octopus enemies in Mario and Zelda? I just see this like two eyes in the mouth just going.
I'm gonna argue that he's better than he has to be higher than Korn.
Just simply because of the fact that Nurgle is interesting in the fact that he's just a
sort of Chaos god who's actually kind of like he's not a dick in a way.
Yes he is. Yes he is. He's a dick. No I'm not falling for this. He is a dick.
In his weird mixed up paradigm though he thinks he's being reenacted. He's like oh I'm
the bringer of you know life and death and stuff like that. It just looks a little odd to me.
The farseers who went to rescue Isha he petrified them and the line in the
lore entry specifically says he enjoys their suffering. He is a dick. Their suffering makes
his walks through his garden so much better. He's a dick. I mean I would say let's put this into
perspective. Just comparing Korn and Nurgle. If I'm playing Dark Souls and I want to throw my
controller across the room I get some relief after throwing it against the wall. When I get
food poisoning I just suffer. So I'm going to say he's not as good as Korn. He turns your suffering
into enjoyment though instead. I raise you one story which was the imperial captain or commerce
however in front of Typhus and Nurgle ceded to give him his personal attention. So he aged the man
and filled him with past. Inverted him through his own anus. Aided him a thousand years. Gave
every disease known to man. Basically made him into a sludge puddle and did all of this in
between the eye but in front of some of the death gun. They just went that is insane. Oh my god.
That's pretty crazy. This isn't the guy in the God Blight books who gets folded and folded and folded
and folded and folded and folded and folded and folded and folded and folded and folded and folded.
I would say what is the criteria we're judging by? Is this who we think would be best to worship or
just coolest? I think just like all of the above I guess. I don't know. Oh no. No because Nurgle's
the choice of all the Chaos Gods. Nurgle's the one where you don't feel if you worship him you look
disgusting but you don't feel pain you can't smile yourself. But I don't know if you worship the emperor
you're not like bleeding out of every orifice. No but if you're corrupted by Nurgle you don't feel that.
Yeah but if you get cut off and warp out of that pain. Yeah but I don't care how it feels if it looks bad as well.
It happened once. It's not gonna help my Instagram profile. The neck runs out it can happen again.
Yeah also Nurgle the new look for Nurgle I find very cartoony and goofy looking. He's always been a bit goofy
there isn't he? No but the old stuff is still like it's still scary and but it's it's scary and fun
at the same time but now I just think it all looks kind of silly. I'm not gonna win anymore so we'll leave it there.
I know Nurgle is smelly and he needs some uh cleansing wipes. Put him out. Definitely. Smash his S tier please.
Triple S tier? Yeah baby yeah baby. The degenerates are talking. Logically Slynessh should be the most
powerful god GW is just stupid because every worshiping every other god is doing something
in excess which would in turn fuel Slynessh's stuff but GW doesn't understand that and so they just
yeah whatever. They're not stupid they want they want to keep their their younger audience and the
god of being a horny fucker. Can I offer one thing though? Also Slynessh is technically born from elves so I want to put it down one notch.
Oh sad sad. Slynessh also looks the coolest by far by far. The demons are pretty slick.
And the old chaos space marine noise marine art type stuff is so yeah yeah to be honest the noise
marine is way cooler than a plague marine. That freaky picture of the noise marine is one of my
favorite artworks in 40k you probably know what I'm talking about. Anger has a question for you Eli
and a 10 pound donation. Oh thank you brother thank you. Oh I'll read it. Oh yeah sorry I was late but I wanted to ask a question for Eli.
Can there be a Slynessh warband obsessed with silence? I asked this because I'm autistic and was wondering which god would I fall under?
Me too buddy. I don't see why there couldn't be. I like that. You could take any obsession and make it a Slynessh-y.
But extreme silence. Yeah no sound ever. I can imagine them getting wax and like pouring it into people's ears while they're still warm.
So you sound like Slynessh fighting silence. And then they eat you afterwards.
And so do the carcaradons they fight in silence but it's loyalist so it's cooler. Nah. Sharks aren't cool.
But thank you for the 10 European dollars sir. European dollars. It's a year old book. I just think being a Slynessh-y worshiper though, I don't want to rub down raw.
Just saying. How about don't kick shame. Yeah. How? Slynessh is way cooler in fantasy though I'll admit.
Actually all the chaos gods are way cooler in fantasy because you can have positive aspects and they're not just all soul damning terrible in fantasy.
I know. They are. But you can still, there's still some of it like Korn still has honor and Slynessh is still about perfection and joy and stuff right?
That's why I wanted Korn to go down one. Because Korn's thing is about honor but then-
He's not anymore because he sucks. Korn doesn't care where the blood is spilled from. Doesn't make sense. Because therefore he would care if it was not from a worthy child.
The way it works is you need to fight the worthy opponents before you can go slaughter an orphanage.
I don't know. I'm just thinking like if these, if you had like a disciple of one of these three at like a house party, I mean the Korn guy's probably going to be like headbutting a wall all night and that's quite fun to watch.
The Slynessh person is probably just going to be like popping off for five minutes for no reason that they'll explain you going, you naughty.
And Nurgle's shouting in the toilet.
Yeah and then the Nurgle guy is just standing in the corner and everyone's like, oh he smells bad.
They're all just like me.
No, he's got to be the coolest space marine chaos unit. Like 100% right?
When the Empress children release comes out, Eli. And they have new noise marines.
When? Yeah, okay buddy.
Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself.
It's been 11 years of me saying that buddy.
You know it's serious when he says buddy.
All right, speaking of buddy, hey buddy, let's round off the chaos boys.
Can we copy and paste scene? Should just put them in S and D?
Yeah, because dude it is nothing but highs and lows with zines.
Yeah, seriously.
Guy outsmarts himself all the time.
We're all playing in his game and his work. We're all in zines as you know.
But then the downside is like he's always losing on purpose.
All right.
What you were saying early on.
It's true though, like his whole thing is I'm a scheme within a scheme.
You know what?
Like you're losing bro.
You know this guy reminds me of, it's like Eli and Colin, are you familiar with the show University Challenge?
I'm not.
It was like a game show where like loads of university people go and they like answer general knowledge.
It's quite difficult.
Scench is the guy who sits at home watches every episode and goes, I knew the answer to that.
I knew it. Shut up. Shut up and watch it or don't.
Also, I can't leave my boy in seat here.
He's also the worst one to worship. It always goes wrong.
He always trolls you in the end.
He tried to get the blood angels twice and he scuppered it twice.
At least put him next to Nergal. Come on.
I can live with that.
He's not the level of malice.
I say also Hal though, you were saying what is Sigmar's proof for fighting the big monster.
He said it. What's Zech's proof for?
You know, he controls everything.
That is true.
Take his word for it.
He's probably lying as well.
I'm saying the kind of lying.
So he did trick him and throw him the hammer though.
He did.
Zech also did make the Horace Heresy possible.
I'm not saying that he doesn't have some damn good schemes.
He does. I would be a liar if I said he didn't.
But then again, also Nergal was the one responsible for putting Horace in a coma before that.
If he didn't make Magnus do the thing.
If they didn't have Magnus, then the Thousand Suns, well, they would have totally lost
because the space wouldn't have had to deal with it and blah, blah, blah.
We got a donation from ZanZero for $25.
Thank you, brother.
Thank you very much.
I love the channel, guys.
Wondering if you guys would do anything Nightlords related.
By far my favorite faction in 40k and currently painting my 3250 point army,
Lamao.
Ave Dominus Nox and much love.
That's an epic.
It sounds like an epic.
Ave Dominus Nox.
Gaming is fun.
We could do Nightlords.
Yeah, I just finished all my research and I've got a video coming out in a couple of weeks.
So the knowledge is here.
So we could probably do, I don't know if we want to do, do we want to do Curse?
The thing is, we've still got to do the Great Crusade follow-up.
There's gonna be something to do.
I think the next one is going to be what?
Is it Space Wolves, Nightlords and Blood Angels?
So that would cover them to an extent.
That'd be cool.
That's true.
We have unlimited things to get to.
They're in there anyway.
It might actually be Nightlords, Blood Angels, Iron Hands, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
You get the idea.
We do have NL Nex, Necron Lords.
Allegedly.
It just never happens.
It keeps getting pushed back and pushed back.
As the resident Eldar person, just put all of them in no idea who they are.
Do they get any lore?
They're the dark muses.
They're super special, super degenerate, dark Eldar.
That is the end of their lore.
All right, all right, all right.
Hold on, Colin.
Here's some lore master trivia.
What separates Hecate from Vilef in terms of being degenerate?
If you've looked it up, you probably know more than me because I do not care enough.
I haven't even heard these existed.
I assume they were just like, are we like Slanesh?
But no, there's other gods.
The dark Eldar don't like their gods, so they found just particularly awful dark Eldar amongst
themselves and were like, we're going to be like these guys.
Someone asked who's in D tier.
D tier is the Tau entity that's in recent lore.
Did they make these guys basically gods, Colin?
Or are they still like walking around?
I don't think they're around anymore because Vect calls himself a living muse and he's like,
yeah, that's how awesome I am.
But I think the rest of them are just idols.
They're probably the old families that Vect had killed off when he rose to power.
When he rose to power in Comrad, they were ruled by all the nobles of the previous Eldar
empire.
And then Vect was a slave.
And then he went, that's funny.
I'm going to have a go.
And then he kind of got them all killed on Salamanders.
I do like the spliffing Brit just put the thing about the Tau.
I'm like, but I like the way that because there's not a comma, it either reads the greater
good god, right?
Or the greater good god, right?
Great Scott.
The next one.
What is this?
This is Asurion, if I'm right, Colin.
It is.
Asurion's cool.
He's not even a phoenix lord.
He's an A tier.
Come on.
Azurman's awesome.
Azurman, Azurman.
I think he's the chief deity of the Eldarian pantheon.
He's currently the god who basically looks at the modern Eldar and goes, you disgust me.
Is he still alive?
I mean, they're all technically in Salanash's gut, aren't they?
I don't know.
Or is there like shards of him or something?
There's a piece of him and Azurman's sword, something like that?
I don't know.
He gave what was left of his power to the Eldar race as a whole.
He just kind of tossed it out there.
And then yeah, Azurman has like, yeah, you know.
He's the reason you can't just go between the warp and the real space.
He just put up a big fucking wall.
It was like, no, you're not going past anymore.
Which is very handy for we don't want them coming over this side.
So hey, he did that.
That's pretty good.
He built a wall?
He did.
He built the wall to keep the demons out.
And in fantasy, he had a big plan that had a 50-50 shot of either stopping chaos or dooming
the world.
And I think we know how that ended.
It did not work.
It was also, you're not convinced to put him into A at this point.
It's also implied that the Eldar gods, I don't know if this might be a fancy exclusive where
they are essentially beings that were left over from the previous destruction of the universe.
Like how Sigmar.
That's fantasy.
Yeah.
I have seen a very compelling comment though from Taimur saying,
Azurian goes in A tier because his name starts with an A.
That is a fair point.
Maybe we can put him in F.
He likes to screw with Zinch in fantasy.
Although Zinch never gets any love in fantasy.
So that doesn't mean anything.
What's this thing?
Kegarak.
He gets, surely he gets SSS.
Guy just never loses.
He's funny.
Above Sinesh.
I like, I think Sinesh deserves SSS, but Kegarak just always takes Ws every single time he's
mentioned. So I mean.
I'd give him SSS tier because all his Ws are things that are what I would call GW Eldar Ws.
It's a W, but it's a W that we all know will not amount to anything substantial.
Top of SSS.
Yeah.
He's great though.
He got the Katan to eat themselves.
So hey.
Lololol, get rekt.
He swapped Fulgrim and the Khan.
So the Khan grew up on Dragoros.
That's true.
Yeah.
Didn't you? Yeah.
So your boy, he's responsible for Dragor's life.
Yeah, I might say responsible for Dragor's life, Cullen.
Until we find someone better than Kegarak, he'll stay out there.
Oh my God, there's a lot of Eldar Ws.
Another donation from Zanzero.
Thank you for the $5.
Patiently waiting for GW to do Dark Elf faction in AOS Me Too, man.
Malerians, the true Phoenix King, give him the respect.
That's right, baby.
You had me for the first half of that.
Yeah, thank you.
There's some strong opinions here on Phoenix King politics, OK?
Witness very strong opinions.
I don't know if Dark Elves will ever get their own thing in AOS.
They must do because money.
Well, they're in cities of Sigmar and they're in Old World, but not well,
they're a legacy book and there's no characters.
So like whatever.
Just looking at the Eldar coming up, can we do Cain first?
Because these all don't have pictures and that's rubbish.
Cain's D, right?
He gets shot and he loses all the time.
He's above the Emperor.
He's almost as irrelevant as the Tower God.
Is he above the Emperor?
He...
I think he's pretty much the same thing as Korn.
Look, you all went...
Well, not you all, some of you.
The Emperor shard, you know, he beat a Katan shard.
He sharded.
Cain broke the Nightbringer into little pieces.
He also got dogs by like a bunch of Ultramarines in the Hammer and Bolter.
Yeah, but that's just... that's not his fault.
It's not his fault.
He was having a bad day.
Cain is like the more interesting Korn for me.
Yeah, he is.
But then...
And because there's different aspects of Cain,
which was represented by all the Phoenix...
Sorry, all the aspect warriors, which is cool.
Yeah, he's also...
He's also much cooler in fantasy.
He showed up exactly once as an Avatar and he broke a continent in half.
Do we have a fantasy version of him? No.
I don't think we do. We just have Cain.
I think he's just top of S.
He's better than Korn.
Andy, I'll make you a peace offering.
Yeah, I was gonna say that.
I can accept him being lower than the Emperor because Cain's workshop hates him.
He is much cooler in fantasy, though.
The only proper accurate representation of an Avatar of Cain,
I said this one before, which was...
Apart from Kalgar and Cato Sicarius basically backhanding one with no effort,
there was the Lorgar Horus Heresy Aurelian novella,
where he's going on his vision quest for chaos.
And he finds himself in a craft world that's basically been burned and broken 10,000 years ago.
And there's a really destroyed Avatar of Cain that is barely a part of the story.
It's charcoal black and it's not even a flame really, and it's got one leg half broken.
And Lorgar struggles against that, but he finally puts it down.
But the only trouble with that example, though, is what's the cover?
It's Lorgar with the Avatar crawling away from him on its belly as Lorgar looks at him with disgust
and looks like I've just clapped you with a backhand and you're crawling away from me.
And that's what people are going to remember rather than the actual book.
Or Fulgrim punching one to death.
Yeah, I thought he choked it.
No, he beats it to death.
All right, that's a bit better.
They weren't that bad with death.
Yeah.
Still don't like it, but it's better than him choking a statue.
Can we put all of the Eldari in?
No, not all of them.
All right.
Cobra, Gaea...
Apart from winning his half the battle.
Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on.
Yes, hold on, hold on, here's my thinking.
I'll put them here and you have to redeem them one at a time.
OK.
Just look how many there are.
Jeez.
Can we get the hard one out of the way?
Because the hard one's going to need me to do some pretend this is a different god.
Hoek.
Can we pretend that name is Hoeth from fantasy?
Where's the TH?
I pretend it's there.
Pretend the TH is there.
I'm not hearing a reason to promote him.
He's a god of magic and the elves are very magical, so he does good work.
He has he has he has a computer in a fantasy setting.
It's a magic computer.
All right.
See, at minimum maximum.
You know what?
We put Vol in A.
Vol's a cool dude.
Vol's pretty cool.
He made the Blackstone fortresses and stuff.
Oh, that's cool.
Right.
Cool.
He's the origin of the Spirit Stones, too, in a way.
Who's Cobra Kai?
Who cares?
Yeah, I thought it was Cobra Kai.
Cool.
What did you say there?
Gaea.
Miscellaneous Eldar god to fill out extra slots.
Isha's just a prisoner, so.
But she's nice.
She's nice.
She's a whiff nagle.
She helps humanity even sometimes.
L'ariel and Ariel.
She is a murderous forest spirit in fantasy.
I'm pretty sure Liliath is just straight up stolen.
Liliath, give her a triple S tier for making the Bretonians look like fucking idiots.
I don't even know who this is.
Oh man.
That's that.
Oh, that's the Lady of the Lake.
Oh, it's not it.
End times doesn't count.
End times aren't real.
You know damn well that's not something new.
That is not End Times exclusive lore.
There's no way we have Liliath up there.
Yeah, yeah.
She's a monster.
That's fine.
This is 40k though.
She hasn't this isn't this isn't fantasy.
Beater.
What?
She's in both.
What's she doing though?
What's she doing?
What's she done?
She made she misled the Bretonians and made them look stupid.
No, no, no.
In 40k.
Come on.
How's that?
She is she is the one who made the prophecy to Cain that all the mortal Eldar were going
to get him killed so he started butchering elves.
There you go Andy.
See she started she got a whole bunch of elves.
Yeah.
Cool.
She didn't mislead the Bretonians until End Times happened and they needed something
new to happen.
There was always someone leading them.
They just veiled it was her.
Wasn't the bad guy at first.
She was nice.
She was cool.
I'm sure that her original intentions were not to be the freaking vassal state for the
elves until the End Times came and they needed an excuse to make it more depressing.
They were a vassal state for Athelor in their entire history.
I just like how Colin implied I was the devil just then.
That's cool.
Kernos has a relic on the tabletop.
Or Isha's husband.
Oh, should they be together?
Kernos is kind of cool in a fantasy way.
He's a simple slaughter guy.
Isha's got a new husband called Nurgle.
All right.
Don't cut.
Be for beta.
Just put any add in D tier.
I want him to be better, but honestly, in good conscience, I can't.
Really?
He seems like someone I've just heard about is going to be cool one day, but hasn't
done anything.
Yeah.
Yes.
What's going on, Colin?
Why?
What's going on is there could be cool things, but that would mean the Eldar get stuff.
It's kind of like the athlete who gets injured before they make it.
So you all just kind of feel sad and like, what's all so much potential?
He got accepted to an Ivy League sports team.
They got a concussion last high school football game.
So yeah, couldn't quite make it.
Next is the machine god, though.
I think he should be up there with the emerald.
Omni-sire.
Is it the same thing?
Yeah, they're kind of the same.
And then the Omni-sire is the Messiah figure of the machine god.
I think he should be directly below the emperor because the machine god is very cool.
And I love the concept, but I'm confident in saying he's the only 40K god that just
straight up might not exist.
There just might not be a machine god.
Yeah.
Well, he is or isn't the emperor.
That was what the whole schism was about, right?
Yeah, basically.
Well, they think he's the quote unquote Jesus Christ of the-
Yeah, but some of them think that he is the actual machine god.
Yeah.
Not just the-
Some do, some do.
Not just part of the machine god.
Yeah, it's like the god head.
It's like he is both Jesus and he is God and the Holy Ghost.
I'm sure they-
I, yeah, like he's because again, I can't get over the fact that-
Are we going to say he's not as cool as corn, really?
What is the machine god do?
It makes your bolt not work if you don't pray to it.
I just like that.
Like half cyborg human attracted to toasters.
And machine spirits are totally real.
Yeah.
But also like necrons and stuff also have machine spirits.
I see everything with the mechanic is like, yeah, it's real, but it could be this.
Like it could be an actual spirit, could be AI, could be AI fragment,
could just be Windows Vista and they just kind of forgot how that worked.
Yeah.
The Omnissiah is basically an Excel spreadsheet that's gone haywire.
The Necron ships also have machine spirits though.
Yeah, but the necrons have like an actual katan that is confirmed real.
But there's also the element of the, what's it called?
The one that the emperor, the katan shard he messed up that has integration with it.
Machine spirits are not AI for the person who said that in the chat?
No.
Except for when they are.
I think I'm pretty sure the wiki says that, but it's not true.
They could be anything.
They could be ghosts, they could be AI, bits of AI.
It's one of those Warhammer lore where it's like, it could be anything.
When things like a bolt gun have it, it's like that does not, that can't.
Possibly be something like that.
From Durpan saying the machine god saves a titan pilot from being eaten by demons when she died.
That's pretty cool.
Again, like Eli, that could also just be them misunderstanding machine spirits and being like,
this is just gun maintenance.
I know in the warp with like chaos, their weapons get souls and stuff.
And that's how mutilators happen.
I don't know.
I think it's better than Cain.
I don't think it's S2, but I mean.
I think he's top of A tier because I die.
I'm top of A.
Just the trailer for Mechanicus going.
And also the Mechanicus horse hair he put goes really hard.
Just construct me.
That is true.
This is Mechanicus, I want to clarify.
I love the Mechanicus and the idea of the machine god.
He just might not be real.
This isn't real?
My toaster said so.
Well, he might just be the emperor, I think.
He's not better than Cain.
The machine god speaks to me on my calculator.
There are too many questions, it's true.
It's hard to know.
I think all those questions are great and make the setting more interesting.
It's just, I don't want to put him above someone who solidly is like, yes, he's real.
He does stuff.
Have you heard our lord and savior, the ominous fire?
Someone said, is Vashtor down here?
Well, not yet.
Vashtor is not a god.
No, he's a bloody boy.
We got a bunny cup donation.
Thank you, Mr. Bunny Cup.
Thank you.
For the $5.
Is that a pet balloon?
No, it's not.
Never mind.
That's a pet balloon.
Never mind. I thought I saw a pet balloon on his profile.
Cain aids here for the time.
Cain fought alongside Cain to dunk on Demon Prince's Klingy Axe.
I see what you're saying.
Very nice.
Demon Princess Klingy Axe.
There you go.
Delayed because of each other connection.
Bless you.
Thank you for the donation.
What other gods have featured in Caiaphas Cain?
It's just other Cain so far.
I suppose the Omnissiah blesses his mates melter every day.
Yeah, that's also true.
He puts enough oils on him.
The Omnissiah can't bless his melter because Jorgen's a blank.
I think the next is the Flay God.
He's dead.
He's literally dead.
He's dead.
Give him C tier because I love it.
He's cool and I love it when Necron fans go,
you can't blow up the Catan.
They're part of reality.
Yeah.
Look at that guy.
He got blown out.
Reality's fine.
Oh, now he's going to the Necron.
Oh god, this is a lot of Catan.
Should we do the actual ones that we care about?
How about this guy?
The Nightbringers, they're really cool.
They're just like not really odds anymore though.
I'd give him somewhere in A, surely.
Yeah.
Or like B.
More than these Eldar ones we don't know about.
He got punked by Uriel Ventress.
Yeah, true.
I didn't know the Shards did.
In his first book, no less.
It was... wasn't it retconned to be in a Shard though?
Like wasn't it first it was just straight up the Nightbringer?
Well, yeah, yeah, because in Old Lord the Catan was still...
the Catan were still alive, yeah, but now they're Shards.
Because in the Old Lord the Necrons were just slaves to the Catan,
but now they take their slaves to them so they can have actual like personality.
Yeah.
Let me look up my Necrons podcast script to find the other Catan Shards.
The Deceiver's in there.
As much as I hate it, I think he goes into S tier.
Yeah, he's cool.
Because he's basically responsible for the Necrons in the entire setting in some way.
Put him next to Kegare because those two kind of made the setting in a way.
And look at that head.
What's going on here?
That's crazy.
I think he looks so... I love his design.
How is he gonna get through doorways?
I think he looks so cool.
He's also the only Catan Shard that actually makes the Necrons like quake in their little metal boots.
Yeah.
Because they're afraid of him because they know exactly how.
Like there's not a single good thing about him.
He has no shred of like goodness at all.
He has no demon qualities.
And his model still holds up really well, in my opinion.
It's still pretty good.
Definitely better than the Nightbringer stuff.
Yeah.
He should just bring out more Catan Shard models.
Honestly.
Kau'gura.
Wait, wait, wait.
Let's do Void Dragon first.
Just because he's got...
Can we put him just next to the Machine God?
He should go above the Machine God for the meme.
He's got a really cool...
Can you find the difference between these two pictures?
One of them is a model.
That's the difference.
Yeah. All right.
So...
I know these people.
Yeah.
He's the master of destruction.
That's all I got.
Which one?
Zahalash got bodied by Belisarius.
I want to put him in D.
Lol.
Yeah.
Zahalash Potentate was used to power one of the eight Necron Warp Beacons,
known as the Pharaoh.
So that's interesting.
Yeah.
He was basically the the Pharaoh's device's battery.
And then Belisarius let him out.
And he's like, I will get you.
And he went, no, actually.
And he cast him out.
Well, in a roundabout way, you can blame that guy for the Tyranids, then.
Yeah. This guy's fault.
Yeah. D.T.
So Kalug'ura is strong.
That sure is a Kitama show.
Vagdryada.
He's the Arisen.
Yes.
That's it.
The Burning One has at least a couple paragraphs of lore.
One paragraph, I think.
The Ardras are the Burning One.
He burns the whole webway.
Is he the one with the artwork where he's fighting a Tyranid thing?
Yeah. I was going to say, there's this guy and then there's I think it's the Spiral Flame.
One of them powers Sarek's weapon, doesn't he?
He's like the battery for it.
And he's a fire one.
This one's called the Burning One and one's called the Spiral Flame.
The Burning One has some lore.
Yeah.
It just hit me how crazy that is, though.
Like someone's saying, there's a literal god in my battery.
Yeah.
I think you know that little platform he stands on?
I think it's what powers the platform.
Nyadrasath, though, the Burning One.
He showed the Necrons the Dolom Gates.
Yes.
That's pretty huge.
He allowed them to teleport.
So that's kind of cool.
Put him next to Sarek, I suppose.
Iashudra, the Endless Swarm.
Cool.
Iashudra.
Sure is a cool name.
I have no war on him at all.
Wow.
He has a real cool name.
Someone's going to turn around and be like, he's my favorite.
How could you do that?
Yeah.
All of these pictures, by the way, are absolutely just a photo of the human torch from the fantasy
anymore.
And then the outsider went flame on.
You mean Fantastic Four?
No, he's real.
The outsider is like, the outsider was tricked by Kegurek to eat other katan and went insane.
Oh, yeah.
He causes madness and suicide wherever he goes and is trapped in a Dyson sphere beneath
the galactic plane.
Low tier katan?
Based?
That's cool.
He's dead.
I'm sure JW will never touch that plot ever.
But he's just, it sure would be cool.
The fact there's a Dyson sphere in Warhammer outside the realm of existence is crazy.
Nathoren, the spiral flame.
Nah.
And Yigra Nyar.
Put them in.
We don't know who they are.
We ain't got opinions.
I don't know.
Shove them down.
Gorkham Ork.
Here we go.
Real stuff.
Real shit.
SS.
Do we also have Gorkham Ork?
I don't know.
SS.
I heard a different thing.
That's one thing we're actually missing.
We're missing Gorkham Ork when they get fused together.
Do we really need Gorkham Ork?
Because he's brutal and cunning.
Yeah, that's what I was saying.
No, he's cunning and brutal.
All right, so which one goes first?
We go Mork or Gork?
Gork.
Gork goes first.
Yeah, Gork.
Gork is brutal and cunning.
Yeah, that makes sense.
But is he better than the Deceiver?
Nah.
Okay.
No.
Ooh, that's...
Nah, we're happy with that.
I like how that was this really important gods and we're just like, yeah?
Yeah, done.
As an Ork should be.
Oh, it's the old ones, innit?
Old ones?
They deserve everything.
They got put them in D tier.
Ah, something's got a great point.
Well, the death gods that Nagash ate.
The Tomb King pantheon.
Ussiriya?
Solid Who Cares out of 10.
You know I want this in S tier.
Gene Steelers.
I die for the Forumd Emperor.
I die for him.
Are we sure that's not just the Hivemind?
Well, yeah, sorry.
It might be the Hivemind.
Same thing.
Hivemind, yeah.
Yeah, fair enough.
Put him up there.
He is the Emperor.
Put him in S tier by the Emperor.
Put him in B?
Come on, man.
No, he's the true Emperor.
Forumd Emperor.
My Emperor has Forums.
Yours only has two.
Whoever these two are.
Put him behind Vol.
Come on.
Behind Vol.
Come on.
It doesn't have a bath ball, maybe.
But it's so cool.
Gene Steelers culture.
Yeah, that's why he hates it.
Every time I ever hear about it is when some random space recycler connects with it for
a moment and goes, oh, that's weird.
Oh, he's angry, isn't he?
The Star Children.
And then Eli starred all over the place.
We're on fantasy.
SSSS.
He's awful.
He treats his followers like dirt.
He has no redeeming qualities.
He's the best.
Absolutely terrible.
He's having a silly goose time.
He's just.
His mere presence makes every makes property values plummet.
I love how he would just like if he appears to the Council of Thirteen,
isn't he?
He just randomly kills one of them for no reason.
He just goes, you.
The only time.
It's a message.
The first the first like 10 minutes of any summoning him is just him eating Skaven.
And they're like, yes, Sigma.
Sigma is SSSS.
Sigma male.
No, SSSS.
Why not?
I would double S.
I put him next to Jane's workshop.
Sigma has done something no Warhammer God has done and actually learned from his mistakes.
He's also allowed to make mistakes, so he's an actual character.
Surely Sigma.
And he started as a dude.
That's always.
To be fair, just going off the poll we just did, it was Gorkom walk.
Thirty six percent Sigma.
Thirty three Emperor.
That's pretty on the nose.
Right.
Like, yeah, that's pretty much.
He's better than the deceiver.
I like human Sigma.
God Sigma is the one who didn't answer Arkaon before he was Arkaon.
He was trapped in the vortex.
He couldn't.
Oh, so he's SST ever been trapped in a vortex?
No, he's SSS too because he has actual personality flaws and issues.
He's a real character, not just a guy's.
I'm the last guy's.
He's the last guy's.
Dude, you can choke.
You can put it to the guys.
So go Sigma.
I do like Sigma.
I just don't enjoy him as much.
I just can't.
I don't enjoy him as much as the echelon in SSS.
Super male.
You would chew it more more than.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look at more like the are almost as one dimensional as corn, but it's funny.
The extra thing they have is that they're green and sometimes they get.
Right.
We're going to argue about this forever until the polls.
And so until then, I'm just going to put him in no idea who they are.
OK.
Is it true that Gork and Mark spit out an orc every day to resurrect them?
Is that a true fact?
Maybe.
I like the fence of limits though.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's Grimnir.
Wolf.
Oh my God, the poll right now.
Grimnir.
What's it called?
SSS?
Sigma does not deserve his S.T.
Colin.
Look at that hair.
Heresy.
Oh, he's going to go backwards now if he says something.
I like that.
He's great.
He's the Slayer God.
Yeah, that's epic.
And he gives.
That's Brian Blessed to stand.
Who lets Felix use the hammer?
Yes.
The gods in general.
He is kind of broken.
Not Sigma.
Felix just kind of prayed to any god who would listen.
He just started shouting out names.
Yeah.
That's a really cool moment.
It was awesome.
Grimnir, right?
Grimnir.
Grimnir is tough for me because Grimnir is currently broken into loads of pieces of gold,
but he's also basically Gotrek.
He is Gotrek now.
That's cool.
This guy's broken into not gold for a piece.
Gotrek hears his voice in his head.
Gotrek does not like Grimnir at all.
And he hates him.
Dang.
He hates Grimnir.
It's so annoying.
He gave him back his lost eye and then his first book back in Age of Sigmar, he loses his eye again.
Immediately.
And he gets cut by a thing like a skaven.
Why can't Sigmar be in Triple S but Grimnir can?
Because Grimnir...
What's going on here?
I don't think...
I don't know if Grimnir is Triple S to be honest.
But he's a dwarf.
He's got really cool hair.
Look at that.
I just don't talk about the fire slayers.
He's kind of dead.
He's literally dead now.
He's also the god of telling you to kill yourself.
He's the slayer god.
He's the toxic male image that we all aspire to be.
He's kind of double S to me just because he's dead and he's currently...
His body is scattered across all the realms of pieces of gold.
So he's kind of not really a light...
He could probably take the next.
Oh, speaking of organs, look at this.
Alright.
Velayas.
Her bonus for Gromberdoll is the best one.
That's very true.
Barden in Vermentide respects her above the others.
She exists.
For the wisdom of Velaya.
Is she using the ritual with the Everchild?
Or is that...
No.
Nagash ate her power.
I think...
I think... who's the vampire who found her?
I do not remember.
The first vampire.
Oh, Neferada.
She found Velaya inside a dwarf hole, I think, in the End Times.
Randomly.
Oh, yeah.
And then she basically gave her to Nagash.
How did she find Velaya?
I think there were some dwarfs going because the theory was
once they found Velaya and opened the gates, it would be the new golden age of the dwarfs.
Except there were a whole lot of vampires in Nagash there,
so he went in instead and stole our power.
No golden age for the dwarfs.
I already know what this next one's gonna be.
Did I not send Groogni?
No, I don't think so.
I thought I did.
He'd be the... oh, no, Groogni's a little...
I see what I'm trying to say.
Groogni.
Groogni would be next to Gottrick.
He's cool in AOS.
He's again, he learned from his mistakes.
Teclis.
Who is...
Teclis.
Oh, I'm calling Teclis a god.
He is a god in Age of Sigmar.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
I know.
I just put Groogni.
This guy.
All right, where's he going?
Oh, is that Groogni?
Uh, next to Grimnir, I would say.
There we go.
Sheesh.
Friends.
Elf.
Teclis.
Behind the dwarf gods.
He fucked up a lot.
Yeah, he fucked up.
He just cucked for the entire end time.
No, I would say, no, this is him as a god.
Fantasy lore doesn't count.
Okay.
You know what I find difficult?
I mean, surely there are gods that aren't actually godly creatures.
I find it difficult with Teclis because in recent lore, they're kind of...
They're making him kind of embarrassing in the way they're like,
I'm a god.
Do you want to learn from me?
And they basically go, yeah, no, mate.
Your moon, the moon spirit's right there.
It's kind of embarrassing to like Teclis.
Guys, like in the universe.
Guys, you can't get a W.
Guys, Abort of Prince is in the chat saying,
Talgoth, best god, he has iron on his side.
Get out of here, whatever.
We ain't taking that.
Thank you, Abort of Prince.
Oh, Abort of Prince plays Miller.
I'm putting him below the god of death.
He's a G.
Oh, come on.
That's just mean.
Yeah.
No, we don't.
But he deserves it.
He deserves it.
Teclis is cringe.
In the comments, everyone's saying, Teclis is cringe.
Teclis is bottom of eight tier.
Right.
Because he the appearance of the Lumineth in him
was him blowing up every single army in the death faction.
He just showed up and was like, you're done.
Sit down.
Other than that, he also saved the Lumineth
by finding the spirit who they all tell him to shut up
so they can listen to that instead of him.
Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing.
We got two dollars from Abort of Prince.
He's doubling down.
Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Abortor.
Tal God best God.
He's already on his side.
We appreciate the donation.
I'll put him down.
I like seeing your community posts about Middle Earth.
It makes me happy.
Yo, why have we not included Middle Earth?
I mean, Eru Luvatar would just be FFS'd
and then we just leave it at that.
Because all the pantheon are Eru Luvatar, right?
Yeah.
Well, for that one, we just have to add him,
add another tier above all the others to just say God.
Well, Eru Luvatar, and then Eru Luvatar's song.
And then him singing.
But for Teclis not being above a tier,
he did screw up making new elves a lot.
And his response to designing something wrong was to go,
right, I'm just going to kill all of you.
Yeah, he was like, well, I messed up.
You all need to die.
And then the Idoneth ran away.
Just like Cheeky Euthanasia on their entire.
Cheeky Euthanasia, that's a bad name if I've ever heard one.
Tyrion in Age of Sigmar.
Saint's Teclis just above.
He's the same thing.
It's cool.
Tyrion is...
What the difference is between these two photos,
they're the same picture.
Well, first of all, they're twins, so I hope they look similar.
I would hope they're similar, they're twins.
I get annoyed at Tyrion just because of how many times he just...
I mean, end times really did mess him up.
Yeah, in Age of Sigmar, he's a lot chiller.
He fights with the Lumineth.
He's trying to fight Malekith.
Malarian, pardon me.
The fact that he can't see and he has to see through his brother's eyes is just...
It's not cool.
It's cool.
It honestly...
What are you on about?
I think that's the weirdest thing ever.
Imagine he's trying to go somewhere else and Teclis is not with him.
He's basically screwed.
Teclis spent millennia teaching him how to fight on his own, where he can be blind.
Being blind is not...
It's a fantasy setting.
Have you seen Daredevil?
It's not that bad.
I just think it was a dumb moment where Swann the Author's basically went,
that sounds kind of cool, and then didn't think anything more about it.
That's all of Warhammer is!
I know, but it's one of the ones that doesn't hit well with me.
It doesn't hit.
Fair enough.
Like the Talgon.
Anyway, this should be self-explanatory.
He's going in esthetics.
Such is the power of Nagash.
More than the Rat.
Ah, no.
Put him behind the Great Horned Rat.
Behind the Rat?
Wow.
Because Skaven have constantly messed up his plans.
The Rat has put everything...
You can't stress anything.
There's five million rats at his twist.
He needs to have some cats, that guy.
To guard his grain and guard his...
Who is this?
Who the heck is this?
That's Sigmar's god.
Oh, you know what this looks like though?
This picture you've supplied.
It looks like some kind of home brewed beer, and that's what they stick on the can.
What is that?
What's going on?
He's got an axe and hair.
He should go above Sigmar, then if he's Sigmar's god...
No, no, Sigmar's still better.
Ulrich's cool.
He's a cool guy.
I think he's just below Zeench in beta.
I couldn't justify him higher than Zeench though.
I didn't know this guy existed until just now, and I barely knew about Sigmar.
What's this?
Sign language.
Give him D.
British Sign Language.
Who is this?
Renald, he's the god of luck.
He tricked a god into giving him divinity, and when you click pray to Renald in Full
Warhammer, he fucks you.
Oh, is that the magic at the beginning?
Yeah, when you go, give me more power, and it's like, Renald has blessed you,
or Renald has told you to get bent.
He's the god of gambling, and you can see him at the Las Venus casinos.
He's like thieves, that kind of stuff.
I like this guy.
What is that?
Human god of nature.
He's kind of cool.
In Vermintide, that's the one that Kruber often praises too.
Again, I'd put most of Ulrich, to be honest.
They kind of the same.
This guy.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, Tal is, again, if someone knows their empire lore, it's kind of just one of the few gods
that it's basically Sigmar, Ulrich, Tal, and then the others.
Or more.
Is more on there?
Oh, no, I didn't bring more.
Bear.
Oh, the Gash ate more.
Yeah.
S tier, because bears are cool.
Erson is...
I can live with that.
No, no, no, that's not true.
I never play...
I just love that gif of the bear sitting in the field.
That's why it's awesome, it's just a big...
It's just a really...
I just love that gif of the bear in the field, just going...
Does he...
Waving.
That's why it's so cute.
Does he actually get captured by the Chaos Gods, or is that just total war?
That's total war.
I think that's just total war, although that would be all that might be made canon.
Well, it actually happens to him in the end time, he's just not up here.
He's Keeslip, so who cares?
He's hyphenating, obviously.
Keeslip gets wiped off offscreen.
Oh my gosh.
By the way, we got a donation from BunnyCop for $5 saying,
rats eat dead bodies.
Of course, Nagash always loses to Skatron.
Yeah, there you go.
Incoming backup with 30...
Squiggles.
We don't know, can someone explain my math?
I think they're Sheckles, I think I found that out the other day.
Just joined Wirecork, more to the Bad Moon, the Great Ma, the Everwinter,
and all the other custom Corka Morka wares, none of that.
And there is Boingob, the Squing God being...
What?
Is that real?
Boingob.
Let me have a look at this.
I've best believably real something.
Oh my god.
What is this image I found?
Boingob.
Boink, oh my god, it's real.
It's real, it's...
Oh no.
It's the father of all Squing.
Right, hold on, let me just save this image.
Oh my gosh.
Please get a Squing.
I'm gonna put Boingob on the list, hold on a second.
This is why we need the community, to tell us about these things we don't know about.
I know what my next post in my room is doing.
He was immolated in his attempt to devour the light of the realm of fish.
SSSST?
He's been burned!
He's been caused by Squing.
He's been immolated.
He's trying to eat light ice something.
Are you telling me this guy got rotisserie chicken?
I don't have the ears, that's annoying.
He's top of ST here, surely.
I like how Colin is dying in the background as well.
So stupid.
Boingob.
Oh my gosh.
I'm so happy that's a thing.
Colin, may I suggest you do a Boingob video next on your channel, please?
Do or don't Boingob.
Yeah, exactly. Tell me you have a short at least already.
He has one paragraph on the wiki, it looks like.
That's enough.
Make it into a 10 minute video.
Status is deceased.
Relatives are Squigs in brackets children.
Oh my gosh.
He got burned.
Well done, backup, you've killed Colin.
He's now not able to breathe enough oxygen into to fuel his brain.
Imagine if he was like, explain your list and it's just Boingob.
DJ Beast will always be a follower of Boingob.
Boingob has one clean follower, I'm one of them.
People spam Boingob in the chat.
Be for Boingob everyone.
That's our thing from now on.
Holy cow.
How do they say it in like old tongue?
Like with the accent.
Right, Boingob.
Oh man.
This is my favorite new piece of wherever.
Great name as well.
Of old tongue.
Oh my gosh.
Can we just rename our podcast as the Boingob?
And how do you even say Boingob?
Was that a Boingob?
Boingob.
Well he's dead.
Every time you step on a squib he gets like a rotisserie chicken.
I don't know how you get rotisserie chicken.
I guess he's canon in fantasy maybe though.
Oh we have two donations from Rabbit Brain.
This is our second bunny themed username.
Hopefully this money is of help.
Also sorry to ask but where is Solcan?
Thank you for the monies.
Solcan.
Is it in the hell of scrolls?
Look him up.
He's a chaos god of law.
Solcan is a stretch of 220 meter bridge.
Popular with witch hunters.
This guy sounds pretty cool.
In old lore he was like the power behind witch hunters but in newer lore he doesn't exist.
That's too bad.
That's a shame.
Then we have another squiggles from incoming backup.
Thank you. Truly the most tragic death in all of AOS.
Truly.
Imagine how things would have been different if Sigma was standing beside the
Boingob.
Can we get an RIP for Boingob?
I could have saved him.
Also we had the results should Sigma be in SFF.
We should change the thumbnail.
Did he say Boingob at some point?
Who needs Votem?
We'll put him just behind Boingob.
I think that's fair.
Hashut.
Probably for the low end.
What's this thing?
Hashut.
He's pretty cool.
Chaos dwarves are cool.
They really did not try hard with their origin stories.
I could put him in A just below Nergal.
I like the whole turning to stone thing.
Although again it's like more reasons why to not turn to chaos.
It's neat.
He's still thinking of it.
He's still having trouble.
He can't help it.
I'm just going to say that I'm going to go with the
random days.
Just know that you've changed this man's life now.
It will never be the same.
Horus?
That's Petra.
Who's Petra?
Give him SSS tier because it's a god setra worships.
If setra worships you, you can get a SSS tier.
I'm going to go with the random days.
I've got setra worships and if setra worships
you, you got to be hot shit.
Why is it actually just an Egyptian god?
It is Ra but with a P.T. in front of the name.
I thought setra didn't serve though.
It's not servitude.
He gives them worships and they give him power and good flood prints for growing crops.
nice worship there brother let me just put let me add some respect on your
floodplains what is this the more great more the more has the more has a theme
song I don't think I need to say yes the star like pit monster that's what it is
like a Japanese horror thing about oh yeah it's a it's a Junji it's hard to
tell if it's actually a real god or not but I like to think it is it gives the
ogres magic yeah true there might also just be the vicinity to a giant warp
stone crater I'd like to think there is there is the war of the mar or whatever
so yeah I just it's I choose to believe it's the mom give him a steer
top of a he was a film tea today alright fine top of a top of a please
okay fair enough this is the familiar goal right my laws no that's that's my
laws just only laws dead because you're a god of the dead kind of cringe not even
the god of death who's this that's malaria in an age of sigma Malik a
malaria well a Rian is a combination of Malik if and his black dragon they've
merged until that ever confirmed that's what I heard too but I don't know either
which is weird just as it goes I like I don't know anything about his age of
sigma stuff though well he should stick up there with Tyrion and Teclis surely
yeah but he's done put him behind them because all he has done is he helps
sigmar build some arenas for the stormcast and uses it to spy on the
stormcast and training that is all he has done
you know what we got the Phoenix we got the Phoenix crown in the end that's the
only kill all the time
Phoenix crown baby who's got the Phoenix crown no one back up more squiggles
thank you no more Camorca are the ma so like how good of a hunger is it really
what this sounds like my heresy big hunger a L'Oreal L'Oreal she's kind of
a little bit but she does have a fantasy tomorrow put her above put her above
malakia she does stuff which one's Malik yes she is the dragon at the top oh yeah
she has a physical presence she helped get rid of the gashes taint did you know
right so that's our tearless I'm so happy we know about Boingard
would you have another tearless to go through brothers and this one is gonna
be quite extensive so you might have to have some some hard choices here and we
should preface the next one the next one is going to be Dark Souls boss battles
I believe and I think our criteria is in terms of enjoyment design just like the
whole general package not I know I say is it still a good fight in the end just
to let you know I've I've ordered them into games and I've kind of done most of
Dark Souls one in like order of appearance and then I've tried like I
didn't have much time beforehand so I've skimmingly gone through them so they're
more or less one and three at least but I will also mention I've just been
playing Dark Souls one on the switch recently and it's fresh I want to I want
to start on a rant because I'm just at once seen and smiled I hate us awful
awful I hate them I hate on steam and smile it's rubbish I just I can't agree I
have nothing I have what played like some of Dark Souls 2 I don't have any
opinions first of all very good taste second of all Andy what are you on about
I hate this boss fight it's a good is this the tall guy and the fat guy yes
they're awesome I haven't even I haven't played it but they look they should go
hard they look cool but they they are such a pain to fight this is a fight
that separates the boys from the men I beat him I beat him a few times
beforehand in playthroughs but whenever I get from there always a chore there
was a oh no this bit of game just always get good smoke get good also I bang my
table and now my my fan in my laptop is making a weird noise so whoops anyway
yeah also is now broke my laptop the design is awesome there's reoccurrences
of this throughout the entire like trilogy basically is references to it
you get to wear the armor which are quite a few boss fights you don't it's
it not only the way you kill at the end if you kill smile first and then you
kill big ones do you get his armor if you do the other way you get smiles so
yeah you have to do two playthroughs to get their own it's a it's a fun fight
particularly the arena is good fun no it's awesome come on if they're below
good I'm leaving war crime
remember in certain firm scrubs this rare is peppy I've beaten them several times it's just
never fun to beat them because it's stressful and annoying that's fair
it is over a summon if you're feeling like it yeah even then it's just like
fighting him yesterday and I got skewered and I was like ah bollocks and
yeah Colin how should show up as smile and Ornstein whatever his name is for
hammer fest that'd be awesome have you guys seen a orange
Duncstein and slam oh it's the or seen both the space jam
as bad as that sounds which is remember answer the game several times stop
we uh we go to the what's the next one I think that's out of order so I think
it'd be well I've ordered it more or less so it should be asylum demon yes
so it's not one it's average I think that's the most average fight in the
entire the first the first time you play Dark Souls it's great introduction
because it's like you know you go oh this it's a new game it's gonna ease me
in and then this fat bastard jumps you and this is this is what I'm in for but
after that it's like he's he's there which you mentioned there's two fights
because you can return to the side even as well there is some a lot of artwork
that I do not appreciate oh no oh no he's got he's he's got a lot going on in
the back I'll say that he's got some junk in the trunk has he been boing
cupboard good friend him and him and smile jumping and doing the butt slam
together like stop it imagine them jumping in a pool
right tourist demon give him give him an okay because it's funny when he kills
himself it jumps off the metal arena yeah you kind of still knew at the game at that
point so yeah it's easy on very easy on consecutive runs but it's still a good
sort of test me the arena is small and it's narrow so you're forced to it
teaches you actually like to be brave so it's good one battle go I will you got
to fight guys so many times during the whole entire franchise yeah I don't know
what mmm the boss fight itself is oh is fine yeah she's I'll leave it in the
bottom of average I think because the fact the gimmick is like oh there's more
than one of them capra demon is awful I hate it yeah that was painful I mean
it's not it's not a difficult fight it's just more of it's annoying that he's not
even like an actual boss because there's more Capra demons later on and he has
two dogs with him to help it's like you know really boss fight are you're reading
this he's perfectly fine it's just you have two square feet to fight him and he
has two dogs that's why you run up the stairs first on the left you kill the
dogs and then you just have him and you're fine yeah but the first time you
play Dark Souls you're not thinking all right run up the arena I'll tech them
I'll wait to make him fall get the dogs yeah yeah yeah but like other bosses make
it up by being like cool and spectacle it's like fighting the Taurus demon if
you don't want to see the ladders behind you it's the arena the arena is actually
like the problem with it because it is basically clip you it's not that bad it
is you're so the fight quite weak you were saying or seen in small is the
gatekeeper no like oh there's some little dogs nipping at my heels one hit the
dead that's not too bad if you're playing anything but a like a melee
build it's it's go to hell it's fucking dragon it's initially design I think
it's like yeah I think okay yeah maybe better than the tourist even slightly
good good because you can summon so lair oh yeah and they'll also the run up to
that fight through the sewer tunnels as I mean puffing the slimes dropping on
you which are very annoying I know but it's actually a good fight and the
mechanic of that little was that weak spot it has like the little crocodile
it's its head it's just so small that it's designed school as well it's
literally like a dragon that's been opened up in its ribcages the teeth so
yeah question is that's how it was born or is it mutated mutated because it has
that weird thing with the face that makes it makes you think oh is actually
like a thing where it's adapted to be like and then you get too close and goes
nom you're like angler fish sort of yeah it's got a little it's like a little
stupid face is like yes scary chaos which kui lag okay I think it's okay it's
fun but you know it's I feel the first couple times you fighter it's like kind
of annoying her lava attack and then after that you get to it it's not
anything too special yeah it's not strong opinions on it though really
moonlight but I was awfully bad yeah it's awful terrible it looks pretty I
looked up a picture it's very pretty and and then you stab it and that's it the
the presentation of the fight is great the fight itself is very dry all you do
is you stand in like a sort of narrow sort of open like corridor area yeah
little ledge thing and it basically just throws it like magic attacks and you
just stand there and just dodge and then period it was run up to the the
ledge so you so you can attack it right it has no reason to be doing that other
than it means you to attack it say okay yeah oh that's a pain iron golem is top
top and cheerless because you summon you summon target oh yeah to be fair
have you seen that you guys seen that video where it's like it's the two guys
playing Dark Souls and he's just like just wait and they summon Tarkus and
they just start chanting his name he breaks its poison just falls off that
video is awesome also as it spawns in you can do a heavy attack on its ankle
and it will basically stun lock it and it can fall off the arena yeah this is
great it's pretty fun I've seen some funny edits of great wolf sif honestly
no this one is tragic it's not I want to say it's a good fight but it's just
heartbreaking cuz yeah you don't really want to kill this wolf it's so sad I do
if you do the DLC first if recognizes you and it's yeah horrible and it sucks
but then it's okay because and then sif teleported away and when you hurt and
it's quite funny she teleports away you don't kill sif she just teleports away
I've had a few people that got stuck on this one randomly but it's also the one where it
dies so easily yeah I mean I've just done like when I saw my playthrough I
killed him I got the giant dad mask yes and Pinwheel Pinwheel teaches you that
sometimes you got to be aggressive because the only way you can really lose
to Pinwheel is if you let him summon his like clone things yeah and they
overwhelm you but he's a pushover otherwise yeah his laws kind of
interesting because he has like three masks on its body and then supposedly it
was like one there's like a father a child and a mother and they get fused
into one twisted thing and yeah Dark Souls lore is crazy
it's pretty good though it's pretty good I'm just gonna talk and then we can move
on you've intrigued me now why is he good is not is not good party she can go
invisible at times she's like a reaper's side she's not even a robot
she's just there like please leave 15 foot tall white white lady that's I'm
done yeah you don't really need to say more she's just like a little pale
giant woman yeah I gotta talk about her being barefoot there it is there's
someone would I'm gonna steal a joke from another community I saw where he
said that person is so white he got off with a warning
yeah swing of getting off with a warning dark son Gwendolyn this one is actually
you just basically chase and hide behind yeah yeah I don't like that fine as a
most interesting oh sorry no you I'd cut you off I think he has a he she has an
interesting design but then it was it's not clear in the wind so I'm meant to
be it's Gwyn son he raised as a daughter yeah so it's meant to be like
ambiguous so I'm just saying why yeah okay sorry what when Lynn's annoying
because mate tricked me tricked me my first playthrough and I thought that
Gwendolyn was real and I was like oh no those mummy milkers are fake
no yeah I'm a fish can we please put in bad though because it's not an
enjoyable fight it's just a basic a dash I find a corridor yeah and lies see
speaking of lies ceaseless discharge there was very little
the best thing about that boss is its name yeah you don't even have to fight
this you don't want to yeah it's just a guy this is actually just is like a
giant humanoid lava beast thing and essentially as chaos magic that when
awry in him and he's a monster the fight is basically he does just slam down his
like arm and use some fiery stuff it's again it's a bad fight it's not only
attack you if either you attack him while you loot his sister's corpse or
something like that yeah
play something that could get someone going though I don't even remember this
fight this is basically the stray demon but they gave him five firing oh yeah
it's the same fight centerpiece demon demon yeah this is forgettable isn't it
it's so forget its design is pretty cool which makes it all the more impressive
that you forget it exists hate it especially if you haven't like sorted
out the lava and it's already really narrowed out the lava and then you
basically the bed of chaos is oh even worse it's horrible it's the worst
fight in dark souls history yeah for those who are listening you don't know
it's just a mechanic where you basically is it is it again like an environmental
dodging boss fight you run over whack a few vines and then eventually you get
this like seed thing and then you basically give it one hit and it dies I
think there's also like a bit we can jump over the gap if you're quick and
you can just go straight to it just go and it went once you know that it's not
so bad but it's like it's still just a waste of my time why did you put this
here it's rather it's been like a very important lore wise boss battle and it
just ends up being it awful it's the source of all demons and as a fight at
best it's boring at worst it's just miserable yeah and I'll drag in death
I never actually fought Calamity this one is so tough this is the end of the dark
souls 1 DLC hmm and it's like a dragon that's been corrupted by the dark this
one is so tough but I still have only killed it like once the fight is
interesting though because you can but there are some good mechanics in it
environments decent designs good I just put it in bottom of why is Priscilla
in good get priscilla that's horrific dragon Calamity can get into I think
below Ornstein and smough but above the gaping dragon right okay it's a tough
fight it's a really tough fight why for King's DPS check yeah just smack him in
the face until they die who cares it's for them it's hard if you're doing a
Dark Souls challenge run otherwise it's yeah this design is cool though to you
fair the design is very cool so what if bring me the horizon was a boss fight
like cool right see if the scaleless is a dragon fight that's basically not a
dragon fight hate him especially that first time you have to like die you know
this is yeah that's bullshit it's kind of annoying I think funny if like people
who like no death runs in dark so it's actually not possible because of the
death there so I think there is like a weird exploit but I think it's more so I
do you think yeah I do think it's slightly above dark I think in bad but
in bad but under the Capra demon because the Capra demon is somewhat like a
challenge where it's seen the scales is more of a just hit the tuning fork one
once and then yeah and then whale on him grave Lord Nito I think he's pretty
Nito his design is really cool he's basically just yeah a giant undead like
I said I'm dead I mean so he was like a giant who then got turned into like an
undead you know the Oogie Boogie man from nightmare but just just skeletal
version of him just big and bloated made of Skeletor the fight though the arena
is kind of boring I mean it's a crypt I think it's top of okay though top of okay
because it's a bit of a hard line to put Priscilla both him we have real
mister a storyteller in our chat hello gaming storyteller
Gwynne, parry this you filthy casual Gwynne. He's good. I had to put it in legendary.
Plin Plon plan. Plin Plon plan. At least awesome I understand he's got the funny
parries it's like oh well there goes a quarter of his health off the bat yeah
but dude plin plin plon yeah plin plin plon. Okay gonna pin that one. That song is good though.
And then when it comes in in Dark Souls 3 you just have a cry. We'll be coming back to that.
Sanctuary Guardian which one's this? This thing is in the bottom of Orfall I'm ashamed to admit
this but as someone who's played every single Dark Souls Bloodborne you name it the most I've
ever died to a boss was the Sanctuary Guardian. Trying to place it which one is this? Because I
had a Halberd build and I still I think it was something like 40 times and I'm embarrassed
about it. It's like you know what is it based off of that? It's like a Greek monster it's based off
of Chimera. Mantacore Chimera one of those things based off that I don't it's it's not it is not
worse than the Bed of Chaos at least it's an actual fight. Yeah far enough but honestly there's
some proper bias on my side here because. Oh I don't blame you when we get to Dark Souls 3 you're
gonna see bias. Artorias is an SSS tier whatever. No no. Yes it is an awesome fight. He's an awesome.
Yeah. Above more than his age of yeah. The reason why I hate him so much is because you know the
thing where he he does it like a front flip and then slams a sword on the ground the amount of
times he does that is just how many he feels like. So it's like oh he's gonna do two all right I can
handle two quick little run quick little dodge except now he's doing six and I have no stamina
because I plan for the attacks to be actual makes sense and he just decided he's trying out for the
Olympics and he's gonna front flip until I explode. I have no stamina and I must roll. Yeah but the fact is you can also get I mean from
that fight you can have a sword and then you do that exact move yourself so don't. But only if you have it in the left hand.
He's so cool I love him his lore is great that boss fight made me want to tear my hair out.
It's been most because of that fucking flip on this fucking flip. Manus. This one is tough. Man that will get me trouble.
It's kind of this I put it above draw above the dragon calamite because right the design of him
is kind of wacky and cool. The boss design has like environmental stuff but it's mostly like you're
battering this like horrifically fast thing. It is fun but again it's so tough. I still have like nightmares about that.
How many times that took me? Not as much the sanctuary garden. So we're on Dark Souls 2.
So last giant. He's just there. You can't just wail on him while he's there.
I appreciate him being there. Yeah. No but I put that one bad. Yeah that was the worst one.
That one's remember when it was two how about six. Yeah oh the pursuer this guy gave me so much
trouble. Dude give him awesome. Okay give him an awesome at least. I'm gonna vote for Ornstein in smough because at least he's fairer than that.
He looks cool. I can't give him more than Ornstein in smough. Why not he's way better.
Or you have to put Ornstein in smough in awesome. No I'm not. You have to. No I'm not. I hate them.
Have you guys seen Happy Souls? If you haven't watched Happy Souls, watch your yearly Happy Souls video. The pursuer bit is so funny in that.
And I like how you can fight him and if you if you fight him early and you damage him enough and he runs away you get stuff.
It's like oh that's like a cool thing that's why he's called the pursuer because you fight him again and again.
Too easy for you. These are out of order I'm afraid. Front watcher and defender. These are the ones just before the last boss.
That's like the second to last. Which one's that one for? It's like the two guys before you kill the last boss.
In the same room. Oh yeah. These guys look pretty generic. Yeah yeah.
They're okay. They're the most okay of the average.
Yeah. The rotten. It's okay. Is this the guy who's. Oh no this is the one that's in the. He's a pile of bodies.
Yeah he's the reborn soul of Nido. He's like you know those canned sausages like hot dogs.
It's like what if you put all of them into a big pile. I don't think the fight's the fight's not that exciting though I'll be honest.
No he's just got a cleaver. I think. I know a lot of people farm him because he's a really easy boss.
Top of average. I like his fight because it's you can use him as part of Lucadil's quest line.
That is a really sad really good quest line. Makes me sad man. The duke's dear Freya.
I kind of remember this one. It's a big spider with two heads. Yeah. And there's 500 mini spiders that constantly spawn.
Oh now I do. It's not fun. At best it's on fun at wars. There's one out of pocket but where's the big fucking rat?
Where's the rat? Oh dude it's coming. Royal rat authority. Is this a big rab?
It's Sith at worst. Nah put him next to Sith for the memes. No he's just I hate that fight. He's just a rat.
Oh smelter demon. That one's tough. Bottom of awesome I would say.
What makes it so tough is the movement in Dark Souls 2 doesn't quite help. Skeleton Lords.
I would say they're okay. They're not the most inspired and not the most fun but I don't have a I've never had an unfun time fighting the skeleton lords.
They're just there. It's the three skeletons. Legendary. He is a blood-borne boss who got lost and wandered into Dark Souls 2.
And look at that size of a walk of tongue. And if you manage to kill him without taking any damage he does a sepulchre isn't he?
Oh yeah that boss fight is so cool. Hard as hell but cool.
Reminds me of Infinity Blade. Is that a terrible thing to say? The mobile game Infinity Blade?
Well Infinity Blade went hard so no. This is the slumbering dragon. This is the one that has like poison gas leaking out of it.
I don't even remember this fight. This is inside the Mourner DLC. That's how mediocre it is.
Awful. This one's in the... Scoop your lady. Good? Good? Why? Why? What answer do you think I'm doing here?
I'm hoping that one because... We need Tearless or Colin's downgrad.
No just a line in here. I wouldn't even put her in average. Bottom of average if she's gonna be in average.
Yeah. Ruinous sentinels. Average. It's not memorable really this one.
It's the first time you do it's a solid fight after that it's just kind of in the way.
Royal Red Vanguard. I love Skaven. I love Skaven. It's not Skaven. It's not. 500 rats. It's just rats.
It's a bad fight. Put him in bad. Put him in bad at least. It's funny. Because you feel bad for him.
Yeah. It's funny. He's not above Seath the Scaleless or Gwyn or Falkin. I can't. And he's just Red.
Royal Red Vanguard. Someone I see the rest of you aren't rat maxing. If this is above four kings I'm gonna lose it.
That is so goofy. Come on 50 rats. Disrespect to Gloingbog or whatever his name is. Is he part of this?
Boingob. How dare you. Disrespect to Gloingob with that statement. I knew Lord and Savior Boingob.
This next thing kind of looks like a squig. Covetous Demon. It's bad. It's just a big slug.
Put him at top of bad because he's just big and fat and unfun to fight. But he's just jabbing the
heart in Dark Souls like Serenade. He's funny to look at. Paralympic. Oh this is the worst awful.
Put him top of awful because it's not an it's uncreative it's not a fun fight but it's not hard.
Yeah it's boring more than bad. It's not insulting. It just takes up your time.
Old Iron King. This is meant to be Gwyn apparently. Yeah. Reborn. It's not an awesome fight unfortunately.
I think it's good. It's good. Bottom of good yeah. It's just a big. It's cool as a spectacle but as a
fight it's kind of. Oh I mean it's like one of those things where it's just a big thing with clubbing
hands. Old Dragon Slayer. This is just this is all this is all Ornstein but he doesn't have. There's
no smoke. Yeah. That's why this is this is why I don't like Ornstein's smile. On the road it's not a
problem. It's when there's two of them it's bullshit. I think you put it bad on this one because it's
actually the fact that it's missing. He's really early on as well isn't he. Yeah so he's kind of
weak. The worst thing about that boss fight is the Drake you have to get past. Yeah. Oh yeah.
Once you get there it's like. It's a sniper mouth with the early crossbow like a bow sorry.
Oh Nashandra the final boss of the base game. Okay okay I've seen pictures of this right now.
Don't say that Colin. You would not. Have you gone for a filth in the discord or something.
What's going on here. Nashandra's an okay fight but then it comes immediately after.
The other ones yeah. So it's. Put them there. Better than those two but. I don't think people
were like that excited about. She's supposedly like a corrupted piece of. Manus or whatever.
Yeah yeah whatever. Mitha's just. Medusa. Oh yeah this one. Average. Yeah. Lod and Zarlan
the king's pets. I currently have this one. Oh these the wolves. The ice wolves. Oh yeah.
Oh this one actually no. Put this in awful because this one's actually like they just keep
disappearing on you and it's so. Yeah. Lost Sinner. Okay. Yeah okay. It's a decent fight.
It's unfortunately. Which one's it meant to be. That's supposed to be the witch of Izalith.
Yeah I mean. It's meant to be like a worse iteration of another fight but it's not worse than the
chaos bed one. It's impossible to be almost impossible to be worse than better chaos.
Yeah. That almost is coming back. Oh look at the glass. We put him in legendary. I love him. That
one is so cool. I love how there was a gaming convention before the release and they were like
if you can beat the looking glass knight you win like a t-shirt or something and like no one could
beat it. Oh poor guy. And you can summon in other players and it's a bit of a dick but still.
I know that's such like a in some ways it's a crutch but it's so cool knowing that if
someone else is part of that that can just be another player who's like hey nice boss
fight. I'm gonna ruin it. Like it's just so fun. He literally has a mirror shield that he can
reflect and sort of shoot things and it's pretty cool. Guardian dragon. Oh is this.
It's a dragon. It's the one on the. It's the one on the cage. Yeah.
The cage. Yeah. I don't know. It's actually okay. It's better than skeleton lords.
I would put that one in average. No it's better than Priscilla. It's better than Priscilla.
The only the reason I say average is because in my experience 80 percent of the time he's not on
the ground. He's just shooting fire at you. It's not hard to dodge. It's just like I can't hit you.
You won't come down. Which to be fair if I was a dragon I wouldn't come down either. I just breathe
fire. But it's annoying. It's like I'll just shoot you. I don't blame you for it but it's not fun.
Flexile sentry. This is a weird looking member this. Isn't this in the flyers. Like Siamese twins.
It's yeah it's too like they have the same pair of legs but it's two bodies. Yeah.
It's average. Yeah. The only thing cool about it is in the boss fight arena it's slowly filling
up with water. Yeah so the longer you take the slower you get. Yeah which is neat because it's
like an actual time pressure. It's not as good as the rest of those in the game. Bayblade boss.
That's funny. These ones are funny. These ones are funny. Give that one awesome.
This is so funny. Eli for reference this one's just it's a um just a circle arena. The arena is
like a loop and basically there's just chariots running and essentially you have to run to the
point where you can basically trip it up and then smack it. But you get run over so much.
There's not enough room man. You're gonna have to find another hole. I don't have time to find it.
Honestly it's just a dodge. It's a dodge game that one. It's funny though the first time you do it.
Dark Souls 2 haters when happy souls is the best thing to ever come out of Dark Souls.
Yeah um Dragon Rider. Which one's the average? It's a talisman kick. He's the one that can
kill himself if you run in a very specific pattern. He just near the beginning. He falls off the arena.
Yeah the big chunky guy who's next to uh Ornstein uh 2.0. Otherwise he's just a dragon.
Pretty rubbish. Otherwise he's just he's there. He's not unpleasant. Oh Demon of Song. This ugly looking
dude. That thing put it put it in great. No it's awful. It's rubbish. It's ugly to look at but it's
so funny. It's really easy to fight and it's boring. That's so weird. Bad for his design at least. Like that design is like.
It like shots his face away. It's crazy. Like Nergal demons wish they could be that.
Yeah it's just annoying that whenever it closes its actual mouth you can't fight it.
And you need to put the effort in just to get to that fight. Like it's the end of a
long quest. Yeah. Oh and good put it in good. Sure. Come on. Come on.
Above old iron king because old iron king is just Bowser's castle.
Uh what's that? Serravagan grave robber. I can't even remember this one.
If I can't remember it it's probably not that important. Isn't just an NPC.
Like a Dark Souls. Like player characters. Yeah like a player character boss.
Oh no they're uh they're the gang squad and part of the Darklurker like quest line.
Yeah they're just annoying because they gang up on you. Well I guess they're basically dark.
It's a game of big bones. Yeah. Oh no that's Hevel's set. Well yeah. Twin dragon riders.
Right next to the dragon. Yeah it's this guy and a friend. Now there's two of them.
Oh I do remember those but that one's inside isn't it? Yeah and you have to knock the archer
off his back. This is a bad fight because it's honestly the amount of health this thing has.
It's just a dragon that sits there. Giant lord. I like the giant lord. I like that one. He's cool.
He looks like Ringwraith kind of. Yeah it's the last giant and that's why he gets so mad when you
see him. And the rampart you fight him on is cool and you can like farm him for loads of souls. I
used to farm this boss ages. And his quest is part of the Moonlight Greatsword. Yeah exactly.
Velstuk. I think he's cool. He's got a big hammer. This guy's pretty uh. I'd say he's good.
Pretty good. He has a big hammer. He's gold. He's got a big bell shaped helmet. No he's just before
the. Before Vendrick. Yeah he's guarding him. Yeah before the stuff. His design's pretty cool.
I should have said this much earlier but if uh with Sir Alone if you put on any song from Metal
Gear Rising the fight is just perfect. Yeah now the Vendrick. The Vendrick's an interesting
character but his fight is bad. It's just an old guy dragging a sword around. And you can't hurt
him unless you have done it. The souls of the the the giants. Yeah you can hurt him it's just like
he has five million percent damage reduction. Yeah exactly and he won't attack you because he's like you're not even scratching me.
The next team. The next team. These things are so tough. Love him. You want bias? Fuck the fume knight. I hate him. He's awful. I go in the arena and I get sodomized. Yeah I know but he is really cool and it's a good kind of sodomized I think.
It's like yeah I hate him to fight but also respect. Put him in awesome. He cannot be on the same tier as Sir Alone.
That's fine. He's above quit. Calm down. Burn Iverkin. He's kind of cool because if you play it well enough you can actually gap some allies.
Yeah love. I think that's how you're supposed to do it because there's like he has a bunch of lieutenants. He's the biggest Chad in Dark Souls. Why? The power of his love made a shard of the pure abyss be a good person.
He saved her from being inherently evil. He saw that the demons were encroaching in his land. He's like alright I'm going in. I'm going to sacrifice myself. I built this great kingdom. I'm charging in head first and I'm shutting the door behind me.
I'm going to do all the blind forever because of how awesome he was. You kill him because he's been trapped in demon land forever. So he kind of went a bit nuts.
Alana. Hate Alana. Rubbish. Okay. Mid. Al dia. The scholar of the first sin. It's not a great fight. It's an average fight. He's just a blonde one.
Put him at the top of average because the first time you go to light a bonfire and that bastard jumps out is horrifying. Because you're like oh my god what is happening.
I do love his lore because he's. He's the brother of Vendrick isn't he? Or the uncle of Vendrick. Yeah he's Vendrick's brother and he's trying to find a way out of the cycle of light and dark which I think is very cool and I wish Dark Souls 3 expanded on that and not just one. Hey guys wasn't Dark Souls 1 fun.
It's just a shame he looks like a prolapse. Diaz who's lost one. Arva the king's pet. Don't really like Arva it's just a dog. I hate that one. It's sad. It's sad because you know. It's not an average. I think it's lower average.
It's just a big beast. It's like a big wolf or a big dog or a big cat. It's just the same thing with a reskin. Who cares. Put it above the dragon riders but behind Executors Chariot because Executors Chariot is really funny.
Like the Executors Chariot is a bad fight. There's not even really a fight. It's still funny just because of the amount of people who get run over. Alright almost there. Dark Souls 3.
It's a fun starting fight for your first your first boss battle in like the first five minutes and it's actually quite decent. Oh yeah. It's a yeah. You do it twice as well don't you. Yeah. Well you say that's a different Gundyr.
Champion Gundyr is a whole different beast. That guy's good fight. Better. I want to say like. No I wouldn't put him that high. Yeah. He's got like a nice move set and he's nimble.
Vort of the Boreal Valley. Big chunky turtle man. Oh this guy who if you. He's average. I think he's average. Top of average I'd say. Top of average or bottom of okay. His theme song is awesome. Yeah.
This is a crawling fat night essentially. Yeah. To be fair when he goes when he hits second phase and he goes nuts he gets fast he starts tearing across the arena. Big Mace. Half Light is that. Half Light Spear of the Church.
I think that's like the looking nasty or looking glass night but less. Yeah. That's intimidating. Yeah. Yeah. Rubbish. Sister Frieda. Oh. All right. Annoying as hell. But good in a good way. It is a legendary. I legendary fight. Yeah. Horrible. But it is legendary.
I would put her top of good because the first phase after enough tries is just time wasting. She has three phases and not even from a difficulty standpoint from a wasting my time standpoint I feel like that's just too many. But this is better than the first phase gets old.
But it's not like the first Bloodborne style fight in the end of that Dark Souls. I don't feel like I'm going to get yelled at. There's some mad people I think. If you not just ball or get bent Kong that's the first thing I see. All right. Chad Miyazaki is simply forgetting Dark Souls 2.
He wasn't on the development for Dark Souls 2 was he because working on Bloodborne and the groundwork for that. And they pumped that out the game out a year earlier than they were expecting because they were trying to get sales and money.
Oh no. Making so much weird noises. I feel like Dark Souls 2 feels clunky in that regard and is way too many bosses. I was going to move my microphone for a minute just because my laptop is making swinging noises but I think it's fine.
I can hear it. Pontiff Sulavan. This guy is kind of cool. He's the dual wielding one if I remember correctly. Yeah he's dual wielding and halfway through the fight he gets like his stand his ghost version of him. He's good.
Yeah maybe above champion Gundyr. No, no he's not. I think it's a more enjoyable fight than that. Do you? I love champion Gundyr.
I think it's tough. We'll leave it there then at least. It's in a good spot. And then Old Demon King. This one is basically like the stray demon again but a little bit more mechanics thrown in.
From the perspective of Dark Souls lore I love that fight. It's the last of the demons. Yeah. Going up to fight you. But from a fight it's whatever.
It's okay yeah but then like the place it takes place like the arena and the moves it does, the design it's pretty. There's also one isn't there like a mini one you can fight before that as well like hidden away in.
You can fight another Asylum Demon at Dark Souls 3. He's back. He's not like a proper boss battle though he's just kind of there. Oh seriously Consume King. This is the big skeleton if I'm right. This one is kind of a bad fight.
He's the dragon guy who's like looking for his invisible baby. Oh no this is not the one I was thinking of. I think he's average. The next one is who you're thinking of. Yeah. This one is a bad.
Put the Osiris one in the middle of average somewhere I think just because it's okay. But again it's weird. The only thing I remember about it is him going, Ocelot, where's my child, Ocelot.
And he's like that's pretty much it. This one is bad. This is basically an undead giant.
Don't you touch that cup. No but it does it sits on the edge of a ledge and you have to like destroy his jewelry.
Yeah. So you don't actually properly fight him. Yeah. So it's kind of bad.
Curse Rotten Greatwood. That one's just as bad. It's the same thing. It's a gimmick. You know some people say beating a dead horse you're beating a dead tree.
You're popping the ball sacks on a tree. Basically.
It's like the champion Gatheon and Wolf. I like the weapon that fight gives you. Otherwise it's annoying.
Someone from the DLCs maybe. It is. It's in the Painted World DLC with Sister Freed.
Average yeah. Again it's not memorable. Oh the Demon Prince slash Demon Princes.
Oh yeah. That's the. Shut your mouth.
It's kind of cool this one though. It is kind of cool. I bet it's okay.
Depending on which one you kill first the game either turns into Dodge the Big Laser or it's a bullet hell game.
Yeah I can't remember. I never remember which one I had to kill first. I was just.
Taken to the deep. Put him in Legendary.
You know I made a joke earlier about you have to kill a church quiet. This is literally.
You know that scene in Kingsman where he just goes against the congregations.
Except there's 500 of them so sometimes the one you need to kill gets stuck in their fat.
The gimmick is like they keep reviving and one of them is essentially holding the true power. You have to kill him.
And then if you take too long. If you take too long in that fight. They just summon like an insta death.
Yeah. So it's like. Dancer the.
This one is the same as. What was the one we said earlier Pontiff Sullivan.
I feel like people love this fight and I feel like you so much of that.
I feel it's not a bad fight. I just feel like so much of the hype comes from the fact that the first time you fight it is you're talking to an NPC and then you get jumped.
And it's also like an interesting design for an NPC or for a boss. I think that kind of overshadows the actual fight. It's like oh it looks cool. Yeah it does look cool but.
Fun fact though. The NPCs like those ghosts you see leaving.
What is not an Orlando. Yeah. Iceland.
It was an eye I think.
Whatever it is. Yeah. The Boreal something. Yeah. Aurora Borealis.
The Boreal Knights aren't they. Yeah. The two of the ghosts you see are the Dancer and Vort walking away before they're mutated. Which is cool.
Crystal Sage. This one is so mid. It's the bottom of average honestly. This one is literally floating. Floating wispy Gandalf.
Like throwing his flippers at you and like just throwing beams at you.
Ancient Wyvern.
Whatever. It's the one where if you jump on a Ted you insta kill it otherwise it's got five bazillion health. Yeah it's a bad. It isn't bad.
You don't properly fight it. You just leap off a ledge and kill it instantly. Darking Medeor is bottom of awful. Or single boss fighting Dark Souls.
I stop playing Dark Souls 3 for six months. I hate Medeor because you go to fight him. He's got 10 million health.
You'll take a weapon that does extra damage to Dark. Oh good he's down to five million health. Cool. That's awesome. Can we put him in bad next to the Ancient Dragon because essentially the same pain.
He's awful. He's awful. He's the worst fight in all of Dark Souls because you know what happens you go to fight him. Oh I'm a melee build. So oh good. Half of my screen is this dragon's foot.
I can't see any of his attack patterns. He goes to do his breath attack. Oh I'll run to the left. Doesn't work. I'll run to the right. That works. In the future I'll run to the right.
Oh you run to the right next time he does it. You die. Doesn't work. Yeah. It's the toughest fight I've ever done in Dark Souls. It's just such and it's not because it's like a difficult mechanically.
It's just it's got so much health and so many nasty little moves that are really difficult to dodge. Oh it's just bad. I hate it. I think everyone brings it up into bad just because DJB makes a good point.
The arena and like his movesets. His design does look cool and it's not the same as frowning me. It's not the same as Bed of Chaos. It is horrible. This fight sucks. I stopped playing Dark Souls for months.
You said earlier to Andy you said to get good but this is insane. But it's a similar thing of like at least with all the scenes where it's like at least I can get the attack. It's annoying that there's two of them.
They've got the attack patterns that they can just attack you both at once. You can't dodge. That's annoying. But this guy is worse and he's on his own. Everything. Everything you try against dark in here.
He just goes no it doesn't work. You got to do magic. Oh he's resistant. You got to do lightning. Oh it does extra damage. He's not going anywhere. Anyway.
Oh we love it. Harry Ballantine says Collins Dark Souls takes make his war hammer takes the good. First of all fuck you. I had to admit something about the mid-air fight which is I've only ever beaten him by using the one of the spells which is the one not the poison mist but one of the other like damaging mist spells because he just sits in it and he doesn't move from it.
So I've never even done it. That's a good boss then if he can't actually fight it he just has to cast stuff at him. Honestly only my friend my good friend Matt he's the only person I know who actually like take him on and like do it with the melee or something else but honestly I was just I cannot do that fight.
Nameless King is legendary. Legendary guy. Easy. I've got him at the top of top. I'm not offended by that.
You can fight him relatively early on if you wanted and he is tough. He's in an optional area. You don't even know he's there. Although it is a bit sad that we all thought Solaire was Gwyn's son and actually it's this guy. Oh well we like Solaire.
I like Solaire but that's okay because this guy's like hey you know how all the gods are insane and gone. I'm not. I'm going to kick your ass.
This watch is a kind of they're iconic. I will say they're in good. They're awesome. I really like him. Their fight is fun. They're not the most difficult but their fight is just so fun. Their moveset is kind of the Artorias thing there isn't it.
It's what I like. It's the aspects of Dark Souls 3 that I like because it took like. I'll do the next one and I'm getting triggered. It was like look time is moving on so long. These myths that we revere we don't even remember them right which is why they have like the dagger because they forgot Artorias had a shield.
Because he broke he just broke his arm which is why he doesn't have his great shield in the fight against him. That's why I like the Abyss Watchers. It's not Dark Souls 3 just jerking itself off going wasn't Dark Souls 1 good.
Now this fight Aldrich is Dark Souls 3 going guys wasn't Dark Souls 3 wasn't Gwyndolin fun.
I cannot this one. I can't explain how this is the only time I ever got angry at a video game. I like never angry in anything like in my life ever. This is the only time I ever got angry at a video game because I was so.
And then Hal was shouting you spunk bucket I'll kill you.
It's Gwyndolin but he's fat. Yes it's fat worm Gwyndolin who basically supposedly in the law there was this priest who got a bit who had the ability to like devour things started devouring gods and he's got a bit fat.
And there was no he's a deacon or a bishop. DJ Beast defending Dark Eden Mardir I'm going to be outside of your house.
God damn Dragon Slayer armor. It's slightly worse Ornstein. They keep reusing it. It's bad on principle because they keep reusing Ornstein.
I'll put it at the top of average because if you didn't know in the Dark Souls lore it's still fine.
It's still a fun fight. It's not fine it's a third game in the series and they keep reusing Ornstein.
It's better than the old Dragon Slayer. It's better than the old Dragon Slayer. No it's not. It is. At least the first time you fight him in Dark Souls 2 it's like cool Ornstein.
By the third time it's like oh good Ornstein's back and you know what you re-use him a fourth time. He comes back in Dark Souls 3. This time he's got different stuff he's not using a shield and stuff like that.
It's a different fight. If his design looked different he wouldn't complain. He's just big chunky.
Because it would be a different fight. But the whole reason you think it's a good fight is it's Ornstein again. Look guys Dark Souls 1 it's so fun. I love Dark Souls 1. I love Slot.
And this is from the Slot Man himself. Is Dark Souls 3 good by the way or is it bad?
The gameplay is fun but everything else is hey guys wasn't Dark Souls 1 great? It's back. Look Andre's back guys you can come now.
It's the force awakenings of Dark Souls. So it's the worst Dark Souls. No that's number 2.
From a gameplay perspective Dark Souls 2 is the worst. None of them are bad games. Dark Souls 1 is definitely the best one in terms of creativity and originality.
Free is like remember this remember that but it's got the best gameplay and 2 has really fun ideas but the execution is not perfect. That's kind of the idea.
Lothric the Younger Prince. This one actually is quite a fun fight. Excuse me? I did enjoy this one. Lothric the Younger Prince.
I like that fight. I thought it was fun. Yeah and then the resurrection mechanic is kind of annoying.
Soul of Cinder is legendary because we get him in the second phase. You get Plin Plin Plon. Do not put him above Nameless King and Sir Alon. He's below Pinwheel at least.
No wait Pinwheel is our favorite. Put him above Tarkus. Put him above Tarkus. I love him.
Honestly my favorite fight in the whole series is Nightgale. I love this fight. He's so good.
I think he's the best way to end Dark Souls 3 and the series as a whole because it's two nobodies fighting for nothing at the end of the world.
And also really fun phases. Music's incredible. It's just. I don't think he should beat the top of Legendary. Why? I'm going to be honest.
I think Nameless King. Nameless King. Honestly Sir Alon too. Sir Alon is a. Slave Knight Gale is a wonderful fight. It's just not as hard as I would want it to be from the last Dark Souls boss ever.
I beat him in three tries and he didn't kill me. I just teleported away because I wanted to. Oh screw you then.
Okay get someone. Someone can't beat god damn Dark Eater but then you can. This is like the hill to die on apparently. Oh no we lost Colin.
He gone. He gone. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
My take was so shit. But I'm doubling down. I think with that though. That might be. I'm pretty happy with Alys I think.
I think I'm going to be teaching Colin fell off. You're assuming I was ever on to begin with. People are listening now. Give us some suggestions for Taylor's you want us to see. We obviously have got a few in the bank. Epic rap battle is not forgotten before anyone.
I think SpongeBob's been mentioned. I think a few of them are the key surprises though but I think.
We're pretty happy with the list we did today though. The Dark Souls ones got a bit.
Can we get an honorary quadruple S tier for every poison swamp Miyazaki throws into those fucking.
One at least or blood born and Elden Ring one. Yeah.
I've given us all the titanite demons I've killed so far. I demons like do I have to fight you again. When you let me learn. Miyazaki gives us poisonous swamps to his darkest soul.
That's honestly what makes the also in Dark Souls three the poisonous swamps before the the fair and abyss. Yeah. Farron keep Farron night that that make that fight worse just because they point to the abyss.
Poison shit. That was so painful though. Oh shout out to Blight Town for being awful. Someone did Sekiro as well. I love to do that as well. I did not get into Sekiro. I'll just be honest.
That one was a tough one. Me and my friends when we because we've done every single blood born thing before that.
Unlike blood and dark souls and then Sekiro came along with like oh this is like a new this is not dark souls in a way I feel like retrain how to fight in that one which is you know dark souls like rolling this one was like you have to stand your ground in parry.
That's entirely fair. I just I didn't vibe with it.
As well as a little bit even played blood born yet just because I didn't have a beer. Yeah, I really want to. I'm in the same boat. I fought a couple of bosses like they're going to do the cleric beast.
They're going to do a rem a PC 64. All right. That's the ultimate blood blood born coke.
Yeah, PC coming any steam release coming anytime bros 2024 is the or the blood born PC release remake or remaster of dark.
So I hope dark souls one doesn't become the Skyrim.
Whereas like, have you guys. Hey, you're finally awake. It's the new version of Skyrim on was it Oculus or something. Oh god.
Rarest pep asked about code vain. It's dark souls with anime girls and shit.
There's my take on code vain I had a friend who was trying to convince me. Yeah, it's fun. It's better than Dark Souls. No it isn't. It's not this game sucks. I've tried playing Lord of the Fallen as well and I hated that I stopped.
It's also dark souls but worse. Yeah, it's just not aggressively anime so I don't think it's as bad as code vain. I honestly do think secure secures one of the few games where like a lot of the show like
The percentage of how many players have completed the game like in Dark Souls or blood born secure is probably the lowest because genuinely like I are the final fight I know spoilers for anyone but the final fight in securo honestly is one of the few things I've not been able to do. It's even to this day still can't still can't do I know I'm only getting older.
So I'm not getting any better video games. So I want to see how clapped tough bro when like a 16 year old or 17 year old on a video game and he is running rings around me.
Oh yeah video game use of like dog use.
Once you once you get over the age of 20.
The BRB tier list is my board PC.
That's a gimmick like that one just because you basically one up to the chair get the weapon and then delete his health and three shoot him along with Seagward just like I remember that boss and demon souls where you got the storm ringer doing that again but he's just a giant or fun.
This time you have an onion bro with you.
Cool. I thought it was the same onion bro who's in dark souls one and then dark souls three but another there's names so similarly like yeah but guys look wasn't Dark Souls one good guys look dark. Look guys it was you love Dark Souls one.
You didn't like Dark Souls two Dark Souls one it's good guys we love Dark Souls one here.
Still close.
Was strong.
I think though, with that being said, is there anything they want to add on or any other little tidbits.
Still hates now.
I hope whichever design session. I wish whatever design session result in the deer got like ID.
We're doing a dragon again but this time he's got a billion health. Nice one guys.
We should do a Elden Ring one at some point though, just familiar familiarize yourself with Elden Ring because that one is on SS SS tier. Yes, because the entire meteorite.
Because you wonder where he went and then you look up, we just go we just do like the NPCs as well I'm like put paint and patches and SSS tier being dicks. My, my final word on this tier list is shout out the boing gov.
Never forget like a symbol.
The boy we need boing up.
All of war crimes earnings going into that.
I think a lot of them. I don't like the other podcast channels they offer, like, like they have are being made and obviously it's maybe of the less reputable genres so we say, and if our first one is boing gov.
We're getting 2025 calendar just to boing gov.
That's my favorite thing I learned today. My favorite. Maybe a week. My favorite thing.
That broke me.
Cool. Yeah, thank you guys so much for tuning in and more, obviously, another iceberg episode coming next week, we've got some more more tier list hopefully have some guests on soon, and I hope you all enjoyed it.
You made it this far, probably said it earlier.
Please do like, and subscribe and we are, I think we are on Spotify as well so if you guys want to hear us, you know if you're offline working or something like that, you know, our degenerate voices are available.
And with that being said, thank you so much for watching and we'll catch you next time. Peace.
Love you.