Just Twitter, shut up.
He got two phones.
I don't wanna skip the montage.
We do have a donation by Joseph Pollard, he says,
Thank you.
... really tried to hide his crime and still failed.
Truly an actual lore.
A war crime, the bed not being made.
This is a completely unrelated story.
I'm gonna say though, a lot of it reminds me of a time that my buddies
killed some random lady in D&D and stole all the money.
And then they came over and they piled all the money under the carpet.
So it was a lump-sized carpet and they were surprised when they got found out.
It just made me think of this situation.
It was a demon fork and knife.
I do schizophrenia in a lady in D&D once.
Because her husband was giving me unpaid parking tickets.
It was a Sith Lord parking ticket scam.
In D&D you can shoot the meter maid and nobody can stop you.
Oh, you haven't committed unplanned murder in D&D.
Are you even playing the game?
In D&D, specified in D&D.
As for the question of last week, I believe it was what would Conrad Kurz do to you?
What crime would you commit?
Hashtag justice, I believe it was.
Yeah, hashtag justice.
First one by absolute chat of the channel, absolute by Crimson Glory.
He puts hashtag justice.
I'd be burned alive for the crime of praying for Colin to no longer be in quotes, down
bad.
There's a bit of a theme for that.
You're a true hero.
True.
New Jack P.J.
I am what I am.
Glorious man.
Next one was by at gumbo821.
They said hashtag justice, improper merging or some other traffic offense.
He tackled me through one door window and out the other using my carcass as a surfboard
across the Amazon.
Lord.
I have a donation by Donkeyman.
How much money does Lorcar's make off of Colin Slander?
Well, off of this stream so far, it's 100% of the donos.
It's probably literally 50% of our donos at this point.
We appreciate it.
So yeah, we also got the first DJ meme of the stream in the chat.
It's called his favorite anime.
I'm afraid.
Oh God.
God damn it.
DJ Beasts sent us a meme of me looking like actual Mr. Beast.
I get it.
I don't need any more.
I did send to him because he was like, oh, he's doing like some Lovecraft stuff because
you love your lovecraft.
You may have heard of Mr. Beast, but have you met Mr. Fish?
Back to kind of tricking.
Oh glory.
God bless you.
I'm going to share this from at private software.
Ever think about how your skeleton enemies and despite having no eyes or ears, the skeleton
that's inside you is communicating that in from a skeleton.
Like God wants to be free.
The veins in your body are not wire managed properly.
Tear them out.
There's plastic in your veins.
You got to get them out.
There's bugs in your skin.
Don't buy tuna.
Don't buy cable management with your veins.
Thanks for the donation Crimson Glory.
Thank you Crimson Glory.
Thank you brother.
Thank you very much.
Next one was by at all Queon.
They said hashtag justice.
Connor would skin me alive for breaking into the social security office and changing Collins'
name to Colleen.
Alright now, that doesn't work now, but if you saw me in eighth grade, you would think
I was...
Listen, I had the longest hair and there was at one point a dude in the store bumped
at me and said sorry ma'am.
And then I turned and looked at him and my voice that's been this deep since I left my
mother's womb just said yeah no worries.
And what happened to my buddy with long hair was leaving with my other buddy and when he
came back my buddy's mom was asking me if he has a girlfriend and stuff now.
Long hair on the fell is a blessing and a curse it sounds like.
I went to a work meeting with some colleagues at work at an Indian restaurant in Guernsey
and then the guy was like can I get you a drink ma'am?
And I went I'll have a soda please.
I mean I don't want to shout at the bingo cars and say something weird but to quote
Oh boy.
Most critical ass is ass.
That's the most reasonable thing you've said all of Lorecraft.
For real.
We don't discriminate.
Where's that picture of Shad or the headshot?
Nah, anyone?
That's not the stuff.
That's not what you say after it.
The next one is by a Lorecriminal celebrity here, DJ Beast, he put hashtag justice.
I'd be skinned for cyberbullying Colin so much, rigging his Fortnite games against him and
destroying his most precious artifact.
It was you.
In brackets, Morathy body pillow.
It was you.
Anus.
And the last one is at Terraris Pepe another celebrity says Conrad Kurz was skin me alive
if he ever discovered my homestuck self insert slash fix.
I'd, oh god.
That was really horrific.
I think I had an aneurysm even just saying that out loud.
That was the question of the week.
Thank you everyone for commenting.
The next one is you get to make your own regiment.
Tell me everything about them with hashtag regiment.
It can be ridiculous, silly, or if you want to be, you can do it serious, but you know,
it could literally be the Morathy body pillow regiment and they literally literally body
people to death could be the only they only do WWE moves, whatever you want.
That made me think that made me think of the cell video.
Oh my gosh.
They could be called the suplexes and they're only allowed to suplex their enemies to death
and it could be that much law or it could be a whole paragraph or a page.
It's up to you.
Go and could be called the ex wife.
They they they whine you to death.
I expect some homebrew lore dumps.
Maybe we could do a homebrew episode someday.
That's hashtag regiment, though, but thank you everyone who did comment the absolute
slam that's putting our children through university and college.
None of us have kids.
Don't thank me for that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I I'm warning off the baby crazy with all my might, but I can only I can only word it
after so long.
What is the Saddam Hussein?
He was hard.
He was hiding the star portal, bro.
I was hiding the star portal all along.
Go like four or five minutes and we're already at war criminals.
Brilliant.
OK, cool.
Jesus.
Why not?
Speaking of actual law, though, today we're covering the first of probably many episodes
on Asher Mullah Tarim regiments.
Who was taking it away for the first glorious ordinary human beings in the real human beings
just like from Drive, the movie with with Ryan Gosling.
We do have a.
We just do Crimson Glory.
Five dollars.
Thank you.
Blood packs the best garbage.
I mean, find me low key true.
They're pretty cool.
Before I go in, pack from Mass Effect, before I go in, we have I'll post the DJ beast meme
that he's been requesting.
It's got bald Colin in it.
I have not seen season four.
Oh, my God.
I said something way worse to me.
No.
Wow.
I don't know how to upload images.
Wait, DJ, these are going to get us cancer.
The URL is too big, much like my head in that episode, that picture document USA.
Thank you for the two dollars.
I'm schizo Max in this episode.
Yeah, bro.
I've been taking that frickin psycho pharma American pre workout and it's got me kind
of it's got me tweaking as the kids say nowadays.
Has the stomach been rumbling from the pre workout a little bit?
It's a little bit.
If I drink it too fast, feels like I'm going to get like an ulcer or something.
It's OK.
It's drink coffee to calm it down.
If you have a hot snakes, what does that mean?
It comes out like hot snakes.
Oh, I do be happy.
Andy is this another is this a British term or is he making things up again?
It's a halism.
I think.
Oh, God.
Oh, if we were if we were trailer park boys characters, how would be Ricky?
Surely.
That would be an edit that trailer park boys.
That'd be good.
And you could be Mr.
I mean, the call from British Columbia.
I will decline.
Thank you for the five dollar donation.
Stormy shout out to the guard and the dwarfs showing elves that no matter where they are,
what oh my gosh, chess moving, what setting they're in high explosive shells will find
them.
Yeah, I love I love dark elves.
Oh, my word.
Well, my gosh.
Thank you, guys.
You guys are truly guys are truly generous.
Real ones.
I believe a shooting five dollars, Eli attacking a pancreas less man.
Don't make you special, but does make you the funniest.
Thank you, brother.
I'd be stealing his insulin for maximum gains.
Joseph Pollard, five dollars.
Call in a star is anonymous when all of lore has been on there was called.
Did you go on there yet?
Call I'm not but I without spoilers relatively soon, hopefully.
Maybe I was on.
I want I want my turn.
It was very fun.
And I told them to mention Fortnite and stuff, so hopefully they remember to.
But Arch Warlock for two dollars.
Thank you.
When are you going back to the normal vids?
Good question, because we currently will be will the quiz will be coming back not too
long now.
We've made plans for that.
And also we are posting podcast episodes as remastered audio videos as well.
So things we've kind of bit of a higher quality for you boys out there.
So we are definitely pumped with pumping up more.
We're coming back to the quizzes and stuff.
The quizzes are coming.
The quizzes and verses are coming.
We have a new idea for like I have an idea of how it will be in the format with live,
which will be fun.
So I have ideas.
I have many.
Tom Warren also donated five.
Thank you, brother.
Dollar Redos.
I believe it was at this point.
The DJ Beast memes are the best part of law.
We are the worst content.
He's carrying.
He's carrying us.
He's like the funniest person in law.
It was a high bar.
So the comment under that Crimson Glory says how as an American, I feel you hot snakes
are the worst.
As an American.
Well, it's clearly not a British thing either.
You've made it up.
Bro, it's like the only diarrhea is truly an epidemic.
And bloody shirt music donated two dollar dues saying how getting two birds stoned at
once.
That's how bad my conversation is.
It's not bad.
It's just like I think is a better word for it.
I mean, I am a local.
I mean, we go figure out how to DJ Beast made it work.
Nice frame.
Your posters.
Oh my God.
What does that mean?
I got I got to check out this meme.
I'm pushing 50.
He's called.
Oh my gosh.
Look at that.
What?
It's a new freaking gene stealer.
I'm 25.
Yeah, like they're the youngest.
Trying to.
I just realized me insane conversation of social distancing.
Oh my gosh.
You guys get the law.
Thank you.
The donation.
Master Melon, Grimnirby praise.
Thank you.
Bunny cop to but our B 20 guy to but late but here were sold rigors vids.
I don't care about the soldier.
Soon they're coming.
Eventually, bro, I got to finish all my neck on Lord.
And then the Talon lore and then maybe the towel or and then the soldier.
It's what's coming.
I swear drinkers overrated.
Josh, you back to the back to the man.
Okay.
You're shorter than I am.
Yeah, I'm the shortest.
So that means I have the most authority in the in the pit.
I rule over it.
I mean, to be fair, we were attacked.
We would throw Eli at them first.
Well, Ark Warlock, you know, you want to you want a quiz related to Thrones of Tartarus
decay.
Unfortunately, I only care about one character that DLC.
Elspeth know I have a model.
Is it Theodore?
No, it's Malachi.
Yeah, Malachi, Macarsen or whatever.
MacIson MacIson.
Sorry.
Dare you.
All right.
My special interest.
Just like you saw the donation.
Thank you.
For the ten dollars.
You guys are you guys are truly.
So like keeping work crimes alive, literally.
Hashtag Regimen Armageddon Legion behead orcs kill orcs their orcs into an industrial
furnaces kill orcs with their own shizzy weapons shot shot at orcs with 20 paint blades
eat orcs for breakfast.
Eight orcs.
Good man.
Straight from Armageddon with that one.
A mushrooms and toast.
Lovely.
Oh my gosh.
You can't even imagine.
This is just the chat.
This is the chat on episode.
Calling your 25 or 42 year forklift driver.
Oh my gosh.
Forty two year old forklift driver.
I get that I'm aging like milk.
Like fine milk, brother.
Don't let him.
Fine milk.
Yeah.
Aloudi McShootie.
All this 25 year old in the Imperium.
Maybe this guy is a perpetual.
RB2020 guy.
I'm out of breath, man.
Colin's painting is as valid as his bed making skills.
Sheesh.
Oh my gosh.
I'm literally, I'm like.
You know, I do still have some recording I need to do for my own channel.
I think I'm just going to leave.
I'm getting fucking bullied.
Are you saying how if you were sat on the edge of the street and you can just be like,
just like shout at me for a pound.
You do that.
I already have the word insults in this little, this like this murder of law.
All right.
Well, while you like catches his breath, shall I do like an overview of Talon to start with?
Go for it.
Yeah.
If you want, I mean, it's pretty much going to be starting with you anyways, Andy, because
the start of Talon lore is the iron warriors lore.
Yeah, I mean, I love Talon strokes with this because I mean, there's a whole book about
their main stuff and going through that would take forever.
And also it would deprive the audience of reading or listening to the book themselves.
So let's just get into it.
So Talon Desert Raiders, the first regiment we're going to talk about today.
We also got $2 from Zeno saying Colin shaved looks like the Skyrim courier.
Yes.
That's the worst one.
Oh no.
And one from Tom Warren for $2, we do say Colin mock you on your own channel too.
To be fair, without fault, the first comment in every video is it's been zero seconds with
six views, bro fell off.
Talon Desert Raiders.
So they hail funnily enough from the planet called Talon within the segment and tempestous.
Originally Talon was this beautiful agri world and an agri world.
If you don't know what that is, it's like, what if you made a planet just for farming?
Or green and verdant rolling hills?
Think of the sound of music, but every single square foot of it is just like wheat or whatever
and flowers and plants.
And then all good things.
Anytime this happens, this is a regular theme in Warhammer, everything was fine and dandy
and lovely.
And then the Iron Warriors turned up and ruined everything because that's what they do.
So the Iron Warriors during the horrors he turned up and no one really knew at first
why the entire Iron Warriors Legion was attacking this planet.
It seemed a bit overkill considering it was like, this is a farming planet.
But during the big final push towards terror, the Iron Warriors started laying siege to
the planet.
They virus bombed the hell out of it, killed all the plant life, forced all the inhabitants
to get into bunkers and shelter.
Their wildlife died.
The entire ecosystem died.
The Iron Warriors are terrible and they suck and they're big poo brains.
And after the virus bombs subsided for a while, the people who were still alive went, oh great,
our entire way of life is ruined.
But we have got some tanks.
So some Imperial relief efforts did help out.
But what are the defining reasons why people like Talon in the community so much is because
they just got into a like, they waged the single largest tank battle ever, I think,
definitely in the heresy.
But I want to say ever because the Iron Warriors already love their armor and tanks and stuff.
Now you've got a bunch of mortal soldiers also fielding tanks and they're just going
at it because if they go outside the safety of their tanks as the mortals, they're going
to die from the resulting remaining virus bomb stuff, which sucks.
So for months and months and months they're fighting.
The planet is already just a barren wasteland.
The Imperial fists, white scars and iron hands help in, help, they deploy a few units, but
it's not like much.
It's like fledgling forces of them.
And they're basically going against the entirety of the Iron Warriors.
And they and the loyalists won because the Iron Warriors suck.
Because tanks don't care if you have power armor.
It's a tank.
Yeah.
In defense of the Iron Warriors.
Oh yeah, go on.
They were on a tight schedule and they had to go because, you know, we were seizing terror
and whatnot.
And they were, this was like a personal interest kind of that they were assaulting Talal.
I'm just imagining Perturabo now of like a clipboard, just looking at something.
Quoters, quoters.
Sorry dad, sorry dad, don't hit me.
He's got that really scary hammer now.
Perturabo is like a dead rat in the corner of the room.
Like you can't ignore it and he ruins the mood.
Tell me, tell me, tell me Eli, does that timetable unburn those tanks?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And to be fair to the Iron Warriors, the Talon and Loyalist forces had 10 million tanks.
So that's a lot.
Yeah, Talon did get reinforcements.
I think that's even worse that the Iron Warriors looked at that number and went, yeah, we can
do that.
Well again, if you consider like they probably have like less than a hundred thousand as
a Legion entirely, they've already been a bit battle scarred.
Even if they kill like 10 each, it's still like we need to go like a hundred tanks each
in order to win this.
I hold that that's entirely on them.
At that point, learn to pick and choose your battles, you idiot.
Lutti McShootie also donated $199 reducing.
When's the next Slop Stream looking at you, Khan?
I don't know, wait till I get drunk again.
I just like the idea that Lutti's sitting at the trough just being like, slop, slop,
slop, slop, slop.
Begging for colon slop.
Oh, I hate it.
Don't say it like that, Hal.
Maybe we'll get another Fortnite stream going.
Yeah, possibly.
Fortnite.
Yeah, we got the other lore crimes guys down with Fortnite soon.
We did.
Soon all will come to fruition.
The metal crossover between people who love Talon and are begging for a Fortnite stream
is the Ventiagram.
It's almost overlapping.
Completely.
But following this battle, the Talons basically became like the chads of the Imperium for
like mortal soldiers.
So we like beat an entire Legion pretty much on our own.
No big deal, no big deal.
Don't worry about it.
But the only problem is, even though they've been lauded as like, you're amazing guys,
they've lost millions of their people and they now live on a desert rock with pretty
much no agriculture, no resources, no strategic value.
It's just a dust bowl.
Great.
Cool.
So once the horrors heresy is over, the people of Talon are like, okay, well, it can't get
any worse.
And they start to adapt, they start to wear like desert attire to try and stop the rays
from the sun.
Because I think they've got two suns?
Maybe?
It might be like a Star Wars thing.
I can't remember exactly off the top of my head.
But they start to adapt.
They've still got their tanks.
They're still basically like, oh no, you put another meme up.
You're like, what's this?
I'm waiting to say something out of pocket at all moments.
I'm going to pin that.
But yeah, so basically, they've already been battered once.
And then a few years later, I say a few years, a few centuries later, chaos comes back.
Because they're like, oh, by the way, the reason we were like attacking your like planet
that seems to have no strategic value, there's a chaos artifact called the Cursus of Algaron
beneath its surface.
And it's like an Eldari, fall of the Eldari thing.
It doesn't matter.
It's Eldar stuff.
So then they get battered again by chaos, but eventually drive them off again.
They adapt to the harsh environment by learning to grow crops in certain areas.
They mine these underground tunnels.
They live in caverns, but also in biodomes.
And then they try as much as they can to move underground so that the harsh environment
up in the surface doesn't get to them too much.
They have basically been like a stalwart regiment for a long time, because even though they
don't have much, they're still revered as like the best tank fighters in the Imperium
other than the Astartes, et cetera.
So they're in high demand.
They're always at the forefront of tank maneuvers.
The Imperium loves a good Talon armored regiment at their disposal.
And during the era Indomatis, they fought alongside Robert Gilliman himself during the
Indomatis crusade.
And they've also been regarded as really good long range reconnaissance units.
They like to use artillery as well as lightning strikes.
So they're just like a really reliable, you put them in the thick of it, they'll see what's
going on, they'll launch a strike assault, and then any other regiments can support them,
because they're going to be like the tip of the spear, and then everyone follows in their
example.
They like to use the M36 pattern lasguns, plasma guns, missile launchers.
They also wear these shemach scarves, which are like, they're used for protecting them
from dust storms, but also from the glare of the sun, they'll soak them in water to
keep them cool.
And these are basically like, I think the main inspiration for them is like Lawrence
of Arabia, or the Mujahideen, because it's like, ah, they've got like that desert attire
and the curved scimitars and stuff like that.
And they're really cool.
Also Dune.
We've got another donation.
I say also Dune, because I think isn't like them.
Yeah, like don't they suck the water out of like dead raiders to store later?
Everything, yeah.
They do like have like, they get water from the atmosphere by using these things to like
draw the water from it.
But like, yeah, it's like Star Wars.
A regiment walking around with a straw.
It's the most threatening thing.
A lot of blue mills as well.
Yeah, we got this donation, by the way, from Reese Cream for $10 redo, saying, use it in
the super chat to let Colin know that my job let me name a line of adult products after
Warhammer fantasy characters like Teclis and Sigma.
Can you send a link to that Teclis one so I know where to avoid?
Well I might immediately pitch in the guy who's like, it's the credit guy, he's like,
I want that and he slams it down, gimme that.
Actually frick, the Talon literally have a Mubadib, a Lisa and Alagib.
Pretty pray Sigma would be a great, like pray Sigma would be a great name.
Give me that Elven twink.
We know what's going to be sponsoring.
But yeah, there's not much else I want to discuss because I know Eli's got a lot, but
I'll just say they like to award each other like tank battle badges when they do like
good acts of bravery.
When they're wounded they get given medals called medallions crimson.
After five years if they don't get horribly killed they get like silk sashes to show off
how cool they are.
Got five years?
Yeah and even like if you're a private or like a tanky and then you've got like this
sash, even if you're not like promoted to the rank of like sergeant or captain or whatever,
everyone will respect you more than the sergeants and captains because like that guy's pretty
cool and the color scheme doesn't matter, it just depends what materials they have at
hand and to this day they're at the vanguard of some of the most dangerous campaigns such
as the spinward forward campaign and they're pretty damn cool I think.
And Eli is there anything you want to do add about Talon?
I'm sure there's a bit.
Yes yeah Andy's still half my lord but it's okay.
It's fine.
There's a rare Hal meme in the chat by the way, it's absolutely foul.
It's that Innsmith look I guess.
I love that from last week.
I can't remember what the original one was like, it's got that Innsmith vibe or something
like that.
Oh my god we could go for 30 minutes, I can't believe that.
Something about Hal looks a bit fishy.
Oh man.
Oh gross.
This is just chat lore at this point more than actual lore.
I'm so ready to shed my mortal form and get right into that ocean.
Oh my gosh okay.
Thanks for start welcoming your crimes.
Oh my gosh.
Maybe my chin should be in line with my chest, a full one.
Okay.
Yeah so Andy went over pretty much all of their like 40k timeline.
Sorry it was Innsmouth Riz, thank you DJ.
But I have a lot of little nitty gritty Talon culture things to talk about.
First of all, Talon has basically nothing to offer but manpower as it is a barren wasteland
and everyone lives underground in tunnels for the most part.
There's gigantic tunnel highways in cities and stuff.
So all they really give is regiments but it means that they give a lot of regiments to
the Imperium.
Although they are very specialized so they aren't just like sent out to random war zones,
they're usually used as reconnaissance scouts and forward forces or anywhere where they
need hit and run or guerrilla warfare type tactics.
They are very good at tank warfare as Andy said, they surprise you with tanks somehow.
They sprint down the sand dunes I guess with tanks and their sentinel riders are actual
ballers.
They skate down the sand dunes and can kick up sand behind them.
$2 donation from Donkey USA, thank you.
Get in the titan Shinji.
Thank you for the Evangelion meme.
So anyways they do use long range last combat.
Crimson Glory, more chat Laura.
Thank you.
Howl is truly an Eldris entity.
That brain of his is from another world.
I have one specialty and that's Warhammer knowledge.
You can't use it anywhere else.
The Riz membranes, sir I gotta choose that bro.
It was mentioned briefly a few months ago when we put the sector up from when we went
to Warhammer Fest and they were like oh it's nice they met the Riz membranes and I was
like oh I like them.
The Intimus Riz is so good.
I'm looking very naked.
I actually might change my name to that.
Because it's so good.
Oh my gosh.
Truly diabolical.
Okay I'll send this meme later, I gotta talk about actual war.
I am at least a five.
Howie Valentine, what is that comment?
Colin looking like, looking very naked mole rat today.
I am at least a five.
Oh my gosh.
You know what Colin, in my opinion you're a five out of five.
Oh thank you Andy.
Yes you are baby.
Ski worker bro.
I forgot the other regiments we're talking about already.
I don't remember.
Oh my gosh okay.
Anyways I'm gonna, I wanna, let me go a little bit tism mode on the freaking Teleran Desert
Raiders before we just talk about memes.
Teleran is probably the most unique culture in 40k.
It is very Fremen, Dune like, kind of like, they're kind of a mix of Protestant, Catholic,
and Muslim all at the same time.
It's very cool.
They have thousands of tribes all across Teleran so their culture is extremely diverse because
each tribe is different.
Each tribe has a different possible language.
They have different traditions, different theology, different cultures.
History is mostly delivered through vocal, through oral.
There's not much writing, there's not much literacy upon Teleran.
They do a lot of dancing as well so pretty neat there in my opinion.
I can imagine getting paper is difficult when you have no trees.
Yeah.
But as I was saying, the large alliances are formed through all the tribes, like hundreds
of tribes can get together, dozens, hundreds, etc.
Like the Bana, the Bana are one of the main tribes containing multiple of them, but they
have such vast differences in the people that they actually fight each other just as much
as they fight the enemies of the Imperium.
This does, however, make very good soldiers out of them obviously as they're constantly
having holy wars against each other, but it does mean that if you put two regiments of
different tribal alliances together, they're probably going to kill each other instead
of killing the enemy.
If you read the book Desert Raiders, it's a hard wrencher right there.
It's a tearjerker, man.
It's a good book.
There's two different tribal alliances put together and there's a lot of conflict, but
I won't spoil it.
Ludie McShootie, $5 thank you.
Andy out here trying to curry in flavors of two eldritch monsters and Eli and I'm here
for it.
I don't know if I read that right.
Collins, join me apparently in eldritch entity labeling.
Favor oh favors, I see.
Currying favor.
I've never heard that term.
Do you love currying favors?
Oh, I've never heard that.
It's me and the two eldritch monsters and the king of the... what was it?
It's like trying to get in someone's good books.
Ah.
Currying favor.
Currying favor or something.
Thank you.
Talon are literally the same.
Talon are illiterate.
A lot of them are, yes, illiterate.
The generals and stuff generally speak the high language, high talon or whatever.
I believe that's what it's called.
Where a lot of the other people speak like kind of a low language.
Commissars often want to learn the high language as it is the nobility language and there's
war chants and hymns and songs singing in that language.
Let's see.
They are extremely prideful people, very, very hot blooded, fiery people.
So an insult on one's tribe or family or even self almost immediately leads to bloodshed
and killing each other.
But that's where the tribe known as the Hawati come in.
The Hawati are mediators and scholars and teachers.
They're a tribe of something like 84, I believe.
And they come in and help the aggressors out because in talon culture you pretty much never
back down.
Losing face to back down from a fight pretty much proves that you dug yourself too deep
and it is a great shame on you and your family and your tribe.
So the Hawati help dig themselves out of the hole.
Two donations by Brian Isaacs, thank you.
Din Slyafist Cain, Caiaphas Cain, sorry, not care for talon raiders.
I'm not sure I haven't read all the books, unfortunately.
He, I can talk about this later, but he, he'd like, he respected their ability, but he thought
they were the most stuffy, boring like bricks in the universe.
It's like, God, none of you people know how to have fun.
They are, they can be very serious, but they do actually in their books, they have a very
good sense of humor with each other.
Crimson Glory, Talon sounds like jihad with big sandworm energy.
Yeah.
There's holy wars going on all the time.
Pretty much.
The Emperor literally is the Lisan Al-Ghaib.
Yep.
He is the Abba Abba Mushira to the Talon desert raiders.
Indeed.
He's someone who shouldn't have been in charge and caused a whole lot of people to die.
The Talon actually a very interesting, oh my gosh, they're very interesting and in-depth
theology is very, it's quite philosophical actually, the conflicts between each other,
which I really enjoy.
But one of the reasons why they're so hot blooded is, there's like, they're just saying
something like, knowledge given at the cradle is taken to the grave.
So whatever is learned in the cradle is carried to the grave and the first lesson learned
by say, a Banna tribe member is that the Abba Abba Mushira is the supreme ruler of all.
Service to him is absolute and the second thing he learns is that the word of the oracle
is absolute, for he carries the word of the emperor.
The oracle is a very big issue on Talon.
And finally, the third thing that he learns is the reason why people kill each other so
much.
He must avenge any wrongs against his tribe, hate your tribe's enemies from the cradle
to the grave.
That is what they know.
It is the absolute law of their lives, handed them alongside an imperative that rightly
says they must remain loyal to the emperor.
So they carry their blood feud with the same conviction that they must obey the emperor,
meaning if you have two different tribes put together, killing each other and avenging
your tribe's wrong is just as important as worshiping the emperor.
So they can no sooner disobey one imperative than the other.
Back to the oracle.
The oracle is the Lisan al-Aqib of Talon.
He is the biggest reason for war.
Back in the day, the two greatest tribal alliances, the Dora Ha and the Makkali, were very angry
with one another and almost tore the planet apart with a civil war.
But a siker broke their truce and in the honor of the siker, they made him the oracle, which
created a tradition of the people electing an astral path from the people to be the oracle,
who is the voice of the emperor.
The emperor speaks through him entirely.
It is absolute.
He is infallible.
But he is just a man and the Banna are very adamant on the Himjean, just a man, and he
is not worshiped by him.
But the Torrenaic tribe, which is another big tribe, disagree entirely.
It's very similar to the protestant Catholic conflict, how protestants will hate on Catholics
for praying to saints and praying to Mary.
They say, you worship the saints and you worship Mary, but from the Catholic perspective, it's
nothing like that at all.
$2 Xenon donation, thank you.
Don't the Talon have lizard roughriders?
Yes, they do.
I'll talk about that in a little bit.
They have old models as well, which is pretty neat.
Anyways, when the Banna agreed to the creation of the oracle, a lot of the tribes in that
alliance left out of religious principle and this formed the heart of the Torrenaic tribe.
They have been at each other's throats ever since.
So where was I?
The Torrenaic absolutely hate the oracle and in fact, when a Banna was elected an oracle,
the Torrenaic assassinated him, which sparked a gigantic war so big that the Commissariat
had to step in.
The Commissariat executed the leaders on both sides and told them to shape up and on the
outside they did, but on the inside there's still a lot of tribal fighting going on, unfortunately.
After the oracle assassinated, the Banna slaughtered entire tribes of the Torrenaic, so neither
side is exactly the good guys.
It's kind of similar to a lot of holy wars, obviously.
Is that why they were maybe a bit frosty with Caiaphas Cain in the light of?
Fucking Commissars.
We don't like them.
They were also that regiment was being led by a Commissar who thought Caiaphas Cain was
a heretic asshole traitor.
So we got a foul donation from Kiglof, so dear sir.
$199 thank you.
So which regiment has sex with horses?
Hashtag Bretonnia.
Probably the Attilens.
Yeah, Attilens are cruel though, don't be hating.
Xano, thank you for $2.
Talaran are best known for effing up Colin in Dawn of War.
We should play Dawn of War too sometime, the elite mod has cool Talaran skins that I like
to play.
Call me dear that, I go so bad.
I'm actually so excited to play more Dawn of War, because I actually won.
God, you cheated, you picked Mortarians.
You have access to every other.
I will get you inevitable victory.
Sounds like salty tears.
Alright we have Ludie Machutia $4.99 thank you.
I got an actual lore question.
Do Augrens adopt the regiment's lifestyle or are they too dumb to understand cultural
norms?
I haven't read a book with an Augren in it in a long time.
From what I've read in some books, it depends, some Augrens can be a little bit smarter.
I know in the Mephiston book there's randomly a bit where some of them started carving their
own temple and worshipping the emperor and they had their own mini priest, but I don't
think they can go much further than that.
There's a supposition just to point it out, but I reckon the problem with Augrens in this
particular regiment, if it's a tank based regiment, that's a lot of real estate that
you're wasting for him to be loading cannon shells inside an already confined space.
I feel like Augrens aren't a good mix in that regard.
Bob literally too.
And maybe there's a hydration thing, they need more water, I don't know.
Bobby the Augrens fatty trunk is too much for this tank.
Excuse me?
He's farted in the house.
Get that cake out of here.
We could have just a howl bingo, dude.
Can we swap some of those me's out with howl on the bingo card?
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
You never heard the term Augren fatty trunk?
Maybe kids aren't so brain rotted, maybe we're no better than them.
No.
Honestly.
I've seen the stuff you guys have put and sent, you know what I mean?
Your sent is actually the same, but it's just a different...
Howl does love BBW.
If we'd be watching those Dragon Ball videos, I can't be hating on Skibbity toilet, bro.
I hate fat bitches.
I lied to you.
Everyone's freaking out in the chat.
Thank you Kill Harry for saying pancreas no-ris three times.
Four times.
I think we get it.
Everyone who's looking for a good YouTube brain rot subtype genre.
I've just discovered the Dragon Ball voiceover like over sexualized videos.
Holy frick, they are funny.
Oh my gosh.
But anyways, we have five dollars in bloody shirt music.
Thank you very much.
Pretty sure the Talaran helped loose Taurus to the Tau.
Taurus is from Star Wars.
No, I vaguely know what you're talking about.
Taurus is in Nightseer Republic.
That's the first one.
It gets glassed.
Yeah, naughty malloc.
Oh my gosh.
Where the heck was that?
Okay, so the Turin egg theology that I personally really like, I think it's very well thought
out.
They believe that creating first of all, they hate psychers, which is why they hate the
Oracle.
They believe the Oracle's just warped spawn corruption.
But another reason why they hate the Oracle.
Okay, I'll read the donation.
Then I'm talking about this and I'm like, Jesse, what the F are you talking about?
Yeah, that's what that's how it's how half of our streams are broke.
Thank you, angry Monculus for the two European dollars.
So anyways, theology, a great topic.
I said European dollars.
That's close enough.
Pounds is how would I see on my scale every morning, bro?
Well, you whatever man, whatever you say.
Yeah, okay, European.
I'll believe it when I see it, buddy.
We're all speaking European language right now.
I'm speaking American.
This is Washington.
Canadian, eh?
You do spell color wrong.
We spelled the English way actually in Canada.
But I say I still say Z because I haven't been completely mindwashed by the European
overlords who believe in the word Zed.
How insane is that?
If it's English is correct in England.
Okay.
Yeah, you got a license to say that buddy.
I don't need one.
Just need one right here.
Okay, crimson goy.
Thank you for the five dollars.
I guess I lied.
I'm still reading the chat.
I need an answer to the Talaran rules.
Did the Talaran have rules for S-Vess?
Talaran don't even have rules anymore in the game because Warhammer sucks now.
So I mean, I don't know bro.
Unless you mean rules as in like regimental rules in the actual lore.
I don't know.
Let me look at what S-Vess are.
I'm a club I guess.
Playing Warhammer at the moment to be fair is quite...
Again it's always like more into the addition recently, as in like playing it on tabletop.
It's a lot easier to get into.
A lot easier to get into.
My god is it.
Every valentine wants to kill us bro.
I think Andy is the only one I would not sentence to execution.
I would simply not be capable of restraining Eli.
Well I appreciate the last part.
I don't know what we're being executed for.
Bro what do you mean?
You're here.
Every Friday.
You're here.
I'm here.
Tom Warren says American spelling is more efficient.
So true King.
So true.
Oh my gosh.
Okay I want to talk about my favorite freaking part of the lore.
I got the pre-workies still like...
Okay anyways.
So what the Turinegg believe in their theology, the coolest part about them is that creating
images of the emperor denies his boundlessness.
Or how can an infinite omnipotent being be confined to an image?
They see it as worship of the image and not the power.
So as I said before they also see Cyprus as vessels for corruption.
Suggest that psychic power makes these individuals greater than others also suggests that they
are closer to the Abba Abba Mushira, he who cannot be quantified or qualified.
They become a point of definition and you cannot have that in respect to the emperor.
I think that's pretty cool.
Early theology in Warhammer is pretty neat because they don't exactly go that far into
it often.
It's usually just corrupt ecclesiarch leaders.
So seeing some actual like thought out work put in.
I guess it's old lore as well which probably helps a lot.
New lore don't really care as much I guess but it's nice.
There are some crazy MS though who they murdered baby daughters and kill psychic children.
You know that's how it would be sometimes.
Crimson glory, thank you for the two dollars.
Howie won 1776, English is ours now.
So true king.
My god.
My mom stole the language.
To be fair I've also got my license from the emperor that just says I can do what I want.
Isn't it most in America most people aren't like they're not genetically like descended
from the English.
Most of it is Irish and German.
Sounds about right.
Yeah.
My dad's has some German and Irish in him so there you go he's from America.
I mean to be fair we didn't exactly send our best in the beginning.
Yeah.
My bad.
And then when you did we kicked their asses.
Our best?
I think we kept was it they kept in they wanted India more because they didn't get they made
more they made more money from India than North America.
Sounds like coke.
We could have stayed out of World War II.
Listen listen.
World War II we could have stayed out of World War I.
All unified by our dislike of the French.
Yeah.
No matter what.
True.
Medieval France is cool.
I won't deny that.
True.
French history is actually very interesting.
Yeah.
Hundred years war.
History.
Et cetera et cetera.
I love you Jean Dior.
I love you.
All right.
Coolest woman in history by far.
Anyways what was I?
Why your mum?
She's called to.
My mum's still alive.
Bro can't diss their mum with an ear shot.
Running dive slap you.
Oh gosh.
Donkey Man U.S. says thank you brother.
He says independence from Britain is one of the most widely celebrated holidays in the
world.
True.
Why did the Irish leave Ireland?
I don't well.
It was like a small conflict wasn't it in 19 or during the First World War and then
they didn't quite get.
And so many.
The North bit.
I think there were a couple of perhaps slightly induced famines going on before that.
Yes.
So much famine.
She bought my car.
Ireland might be reunited in our living sort of era so it'd be very interesting.
I don't do we is this what we're getting into?
I'm not imposing any opinions on it.
I like history.
Okay I'll keep talking about.
Did the Talon have Irish actors?
We're like an hour in bro.
We're not even done with one regiment.
Oh my gosh.
My favourite woman is the one who pretended to be a man.
Who Mulan?
Joan of Arc's the goat.
Do you want to tell us something Harry?
Oh my gosh.
Joan of Arc's awesome.
I will take no Joan of Arc slander.
But I'm going to talk about Tolar now if I can frickin survive.
Oh my gosh.
So I'm just going to go through some of their rituals and beliefs because that's another
cool part of them.
Eli's into tomboy's.
You know what?
There's nothing wrong with tomboy's bro.
All right.
Don't be a hater.
To be fair Eli's country was great at war crimes in World War One.
That's right baby.
Thank you for the $4.99.
Big Canada time.
So the first one of the most important rituals and traditions of Tolar is the... what did
you say?
The promise of...
Oh the comments.
Anna says almost half the British Museum is Scottish.
Eli you just got to start talking.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Oh my gosh.
So the promise of salt.
The promise of salt is an important ritual that they do.
They can do this with outsiders who are like commissars trying to get in.
They do it with other people in places of authority.
So individuals share salt in a showing of trust and vows.
The one in power such as the commissar will take the salt pouch and pour it into the other's
hand and then the other slowly spills it onto the ground and sometimes the other shares
it down the line to another person in the chain of command and this seals them as an
oath.
So next they...
Andy cut out right when you cut out...
And Andy is cutting out again.
Oh no.
Andy you're quiet.
Andy we can't hear you.
We can read out these donations now.
Tom Bourne thank you for the two dollars.
Mark Twain also thought Joan of Arc was cool.
Uh huh.
Anger Homunculus.
Read after Tolarin.
Eli fate exists.
Yeah.
Thank you for the two dollars fellas.
I have one thing for Tolarin but I'd never know if we're almost done or not.
I am...
Oh yeah I'm almost done.
Do you want to save it till the end?
Andy you're right.
Andy's in the void.
Eli just commit.
Go go go.
Just commit.
Alright so next next next.
They have ritual baths and often in these ritual baths they will tattoo each other's
backs using needle and thread and the thread is dyed in charcoal.
Pretty gruesome but also pretty cool.
Random things like when they say 40 the number 40 they don't actually mean the number 40.
40 means too many to count.
So if he's like how many potatoes do you have and you say 40 and that means there's too
many potatoes to count.
Our brains on island now.
They spit at the ground to ward off evil spirits.
Their battle cry as we war for the emperor Aya.
And kind of some Islamic type stuff here.
When they pray they sink to their knees and they face the east.
Their arms open to the sky to receive the emperor's blessing and kiss the ground where
they believe his feet to rest in absolute submission to his will.
Very religious regiment.
Super cool.
They believe in heaven which there is one in 40k surprisingly enough.
Paradise after death.
And they believe speaking of the dead brings bad luck.
Then they have good sense of humor even in dark times except for the guys in the sci-fi
cane books apparently.
Onto their tactics.
We've already more or less talked about like I said their desert fighters guerrilla tactics.
Extremely fast.
They're always moving never pinning down.
Kind of like the death from a thousand cuts type of way to do it.
They're very good at outflanking and outmaneuvering the enemies.
They squads have a fair bit of autonomy as you're going to be pretty far apart in a giant
desert.
The fact that they can navigate a giant desert is already extremely impressive as like if
you get lost in the Sahara desert you're just dead in real life.
So these guys are pretty cool if you ask me.
I talked about how their sentinel pilots are actual ballers.
Now their rough riders, the lizard rough riders which they ride these things called mukali
which are big xenos beasts imported from goro prime.
They're not extremely fast as cavalry.
They're not overly brave or ferocious but they're very strong and they can carry a lot
of supplies which when you're fighting in the desert supplies is probably your number
one.
It is your number one most important thing to deal with and getting your troops water
is the biggest issue the biggest hardest thing to do.
So they also recycle a lot of water obviously through sweat and the atmosphere etc.
These mukali have flat soft feet allowing them to run across the desert for a long long
time and then go for days on end needing pretty much no food or water which means you can
kind of adopt the like first stage of demand how we can run for long distances and animals
can't run for as long so we can outpace things and outmaneuver things so these mukali can
outmaneuver the enemy as they can run for days and you wouldn't expect your enemy to
be going for days straight.
So pretty nice.
They're gentle giants.
They're nice little guys.
Worst case scenario if you get stranded in the desert there is a lot of meat to eat.
It's tough but it's how it is but yeah they're mainly used for their endurance and their
carrying capacity and they have cool models so yeah.
I have one character that I can talk about Captain Al Rahim.
He's a freaking actual goat actual baller.
He's a I don't Lawrence of Arabia maybe I'm not sure I haven't actually seen that movie
so maybe he's based off of him maybe he's not but he's wily and daring commander of
the Imperial Guard he's a freaking devil of a dude he's captain of the third desert tigers
regiment but he doesn't care for his position and he will often lead from the front and
go off on super dangerous you know super co-op missions and he leaves the captaincy and the
command to his lessers that he trusts because he doesn't have time for that he's got to
go blow things up because he's an actual G. He knows the desert like nobody else obviously
freaking death by a thousand cuts like I said before is this the desert tigers thing he
once outsmarted an Eldar autark sorry Eldar bros what are the odds of that happening pretty
low but you know it's it's it's GW and Eldar lose so he's he's extremely patient is what
it is he will do whatever he needs to win against the battle of the autark him and his
men tracked across an entire continent to outflank the Eldar because there was like
a giant ravine or something that they just assumed nobody could go over so they walked
all the way around it and you know Eldar's other autark came back with a head on his
spike so you know he's very charismatic man cool and calm as always he's be he's same
sipping tea on a paradise world as he is under a greatest amount of fire so yeah he's very
cool he also has a sword of uh do I have the name of it here maybe I don't but he has a
fancy sword he caused instant death on the tabletop back when he had a model that you
could play in the game thank you GW for making Warhammer more and more fun every edition
uh but he's he's cool that's that's all I have to say I think Colin what was your thing
to uh I uh the the last thing I had uh just the only thing I had was that there was a
small but noticeable subsect of the Talon deserators that worshiped Caiaphas Cain as
a living saint after they saw him take down a demon princess in single hand combat that's
pretty cool pretty much is at this point yeah to be fair Juergen was next to him and he's
a blank so definitely helped but yeah still more than most people could do I would wager
uh oh also Alraham was thought to be dead but there was reports seeing him on some other
random planet somewhere else in 40k I believe so now now I'm actually done Andy uh uh how
how we oh no and he's gone so that's how we're doing Andy's here to talk about the cat chan
jungle fighters uh I'll summarize them really quick because guess I'll die okay well we
maybe we can combine forces and uh and talk about a little bit of cat chan and then we'll
go into expert cat chan stuff uh next time thank you Joseph Pollard for the five dollars
catacan knowledge in my head should I should I yeah if you want to we'll be for people
listening we'll cut this bit in the middle here Andy do you mind if I start talking about
catacan I well the we can't even see you this is problematic uh I think chat is it is it
catacan or cat chan oh he's back all right I got it we got a thumbs up go for it all
right we got a thumb of silence so catacan uh catachan okay no chat which one is it I'm
I you can tell you can vote whatever you want I'm going to say it catacan I don't hear this
imperial dialect I'm speaking constantly anyway this is British it sounds like catachan it
can sound like whatever it wants I'm saying catacan bro this is this is not a democracy
and we and Andy were saying we we prefer catacan so I know he's got my back on this one I do
have more memes to post from DJ beast uh catacan I'm just gonna start going yep uh it was uh
when it was first colonized you know way back in the dark age technology you know you know
you look at the planet blue and green looks like a lovely little earth planet then their
ship you know had some some things went wrong the engines you know kind of shit the bad
and they crashed and then once they landed on catacan they were like damn this place
actually is the worst this is a horrendous place to live uh the jungle is alive and actively
hates you everything in the jungle actively hates you no one wants you here the catacan
doesn't want you here it wants you gone uh old lord you could even take some of the animals
on catacan in a tyrant army which has been done away with but you know it kind of hinted
that maybe you know catacan might not be that way naturally that's also kind of been moved
away from so that's probably no longer the case that was early warhammer goofiness which
was more interesting than what we have now but that's a different argument uh but there's
a whole lot of horrible things on catacan uh there are some of my favorites uh I have
these written down uh there's the catacan man trap and the venus man trap which are
both different variations of a venus fly trap just huge there's uh where's where's my favorite
one where is it there's a the strangle plant jesus it doesn't actually strangle you though
it just traps you until you dehydrate to death there's uh the vein worms which numb the region
they bite so you don't feel it then they lay eggs in your bloodstream oh my gosh uh what
else what else there's probably and and the the barking toad from you know uh tts acclaim
where it explodes and blows up through sealed power armor i'm pretty sure they have a mosquito
that's literally like the size of a helicopter or something they probably do we do have a
donation i mean i'll go back and read the one that we uh were dead for uh from bloody
shirt music for the five dollars teller and also have good friendship with the craft world
i thought we mentioned but maybe we didn't it was yeah biel tan biel tan and the desert
raiders and the iron warriors fighting because the iron warriors came back after the heresy
get the uh curses of whatever is called the relic uh biel tan eventually was like maybe
we should team up with these guys instead of killing all of them so they team teamed
up with the uh talon desert raiders oh colin's gonna die um oh no i just need to grab my
insulin pump blood sugar's going a bit too high curious it's not there anymore uh but
anyways so so biel tan teams up with the desert raiders and they fight off the iron warriors
and then they uh buried the relic to be entombed forever then xenon thank you for the five
european dollars says how's favorite chapter is in fact dropping likely el's favorite chapter
is in fact named after the great colonel iron hand strachan trust me fam i believe it's
truly colonel strachan is a g truly unutterable again which is my man strachan's cum gutters
isn't it the level of abdification good lord they called it in rick and morty truly an
abomination xenon thank you uh ten dollars ten european dollars that's like a million
canadian dollars thank you very much we've run into scorpion society this is a classic
quote we've run into scorpion societies of battle tanks three men died from iraq last
week and i sweated enough to fill a lake emperor help me i love this place it's just like home
from the chan anonymous the real hearty folk uh necessarily so because they have a 75 percent
mortality rate by the time they reach adulthood uh it sucks on katakand but the upside of
that is that you have an army of people that can stare down a chaos space marine and without
exaggeration say they had to fight worse as a kid uh so yeah kerken sucks but it makes
real good soldiers um there you know that does remind me of the i don't know if you
know mention it the nightlords when they attacked you know that part the nightlords had a warband
that attacked the planet and when they landed they realized they'd messed up because they
like they thought they were gonna like ruin this regiment for the imperium and it turns
out like the planet is literal hell holes nothing we like that you know you know the
meme of like i'm not stuck in here with you you're stuck in here with me so the nightlords
the nightlords got terrified of chatakan that's uh that's not even the only time that happens
i'll get to that a little bit later uh but uh i could not find when i was uh looking
like my own video for them i couldn't find when they uh were rediscovered what happened
what we got one second of andy on the guitar oh serenade us andy thank you if sly marbo
fought gotrick who would win i mean i'm gonna give it to gotrick but you know black hole
forms bro it's critical massive plot armor universe inputs uh yeah what's the beer but
you realize damn these people are kind of kick ass uh we should we should probably start
putting them in the guard uh they like flamethrowers they have a whole lot of machetes uh both
you know they're very good tools for dealing with the jungle and as it turns out flamethrowers
are pretty great at lighting things that aren't plants on fire too so uh they make a lot of
use of that in their tactics uh guerrilla warfare stuff like that they'll stab you disappear
into the jungle and then when you go to follow them either they kill you or the jungle does
because this again this place sucks uh they usually you know they don't they don't really
play well with other guard regiments uh to the point like they call kadians like like
they view them as like children like oh you had to watch the eye of terror well how bad
we live on katakand uh which given what happens in the great rift there might actually be
some some weight to that uh complaint uh but they they don't they don't like other guard
regiments they feel like uh you know you know how angron and the horse heresy had that big
old rant to gilman like you'd courage and honor and then you of course you did you had
it all easy that's katakand to every other guard regimen they're like uh you had it so
easy we we live on this awful hell of a planet i don't care what you're dealing with it's
nothing like our lives uh but yeah it's it sucks uh let's see they also tend to blow
up commissars uh commissars assigned to katakand regiments tend to have accidents uh with the
exception of a gentleman named colonel grease who took command of the katakand second when
the last one came down with a case of grenade in his tent when no one was looking
truly dark angels vibe with that he was uh he actually you know he he led from the front
was a was a proper regimental guy they liked they liked uh they liked mr grease only kind
of related colonel grease also had an ogren bodyguard named nork
jeez epic i love that i love you nork i love you
he's so real for that uh but yeah katakand the planet also has higher gravity than earth
so their soldiers are because gw doesn't understand how gravity works they're taller and stronger
and stuff than the average human they should be like dwarfs but they're not yeah but that's
whatever it's it's cat it's war hammer don't worry about it yeah all their all their every
single citizen's like shoulders are literally boulders man oh yeah they're all jacked they
like other guards been nicknamed katakand soldiers mini ogren because they're just so
jacked and huge we uh we have two donations stealthy 47 two dollars has cad chan muscle
mommy shoot i have a broom i'm showing you back into the corner yes thank you for the
two dollars uh tom warren two dollars slime arbor and garter team up to kill everything
that sounds right the high fleets just implode and he has a book he's gone he's assembling
the illegal explosives or how did he get smarter did he put a suit on and then my god is that
his death note they put the creatures of riverside in there that's hard editing software for
people who are listening he's putting our names in it um but uh yeah and they kind of
just do that for all time be jungle fighters who are absurdly strong and crap um for some
you know some of their characters where do i have them listed down uh there's iron hand
strecken who was eaten in half by a land shark and he just he punched it to death snuck up
on an eldar army after that and killed them all so you know he's this is this is the baseline
for a katakand uh special character uh there's sergeant harker whose lore i'm pretty sure
starts and end with he can carry a heavy bolter all by himself he's the toughest mf in the
freaking galaxy that's what he is that's uh that's his lore he's really tough his heavy
bolter is named payback uh and a regular bolt gun would you know break your arm if you used
it yeah take a heavy bolter freaking they call him stone tooth sorry i was i was originally
gonna talk about him so oh i'm sorry i didn't mean to that's fine it's fine it's fine uh
yeah i don't have that much on it but they call him stone tooth harker uh and they have
a lot of crazy stories about him like he chews glass instead of tobacco and he places his
hand in the searing flame so they'll blink in and the worst pain imaginable is a slight
irritation to mystery living legend harker uh he leads the squad of katakand devils and
is a very good problem solver his picture wouldn't make him look that smart but he's
actually quite smart he can solve most problems though with uh nothing but pure muscle and
payback so it works out pretty well oh he's got the old caddashang cunning and fieldcraft
he's an actual myth and i'm pretty sure yeah yeah his story he one v one'd uh a tyrannid
ravener unarmed and broke its neck and then killed the rest of the brood with payback
pretty freaking insane all the all the tell are all the caddashang characters are they're
insane do you want to talk about sly marbo or should i uh i can talk about a little bit
he's he's sly marv first of all sly as in sylvester sly marvo isn't rambo this is this
is just sylvester stelone oh my gosh some people don't even know if he's real he's some
people think he's like a an imperial saint or a freaking demon or something he is uh
he's the one man army of warhammer he is the marvo freaking arnold's fortune agar versus
predator etc etc master of stealth and survival and traps and combat uh one time his squad
got captured by dark eldar so he went in he walked right in to the dark eldar's place
killed the archon and freed his buddies uh his like origin story is that his squad got
killed by orcs there was brothers he had nine brothers my gosh uh his squad were in the
forest they all killed by orcs then he went on to switzerland from predator style and
uh prepped himself he went back in there killed the war boss by himself and brought his uh
head out easy i guess he also uh there's a there's a lore blurb where the entire thing
is classified but he blew up a warlord titan i'm pretty sure yeah it was a just him he
blew it up yep yep my mama had no problems with eldar child like vulcan oh he didn't
only kill the archon he came out of the archon's place like on a pile of dark eldar corpses
like one dark eldar could probably one v five regular guardsmen it's like an archon is you
know it would kill half the imperial characters in the in the wars and he's getting fancier
the more he's just notice my man is hype she's striking whilst being patched up was throwing
grenades with his remaining hand and yelling what a g very true thank you xena thank you
i think i think the bigger your knife is on cad chan the more important you are i think
that's a thing they're like orcs and when one dies they like go stick their knife in
a field uh and like tie their band around it i think the knife is pretty like they're
sought after aren't they like the cash can no they're quite special and so a lot of people
particularly is it orcs orcs look for was it someone else i think it's orcs who like
they try and get and trade or like take cat chan knives with fit orcs i probably yeah those
i mean they have massive machetes commando orc commando ah yeah that that that adds up
they're they're all they're the orc version of catacan so that makes sense they try and
steal the human knives uh are there any more special characters i don't i'm not thinking
of i'm gonna be real there's like new ones but i don't read the new lore very much all
right fair enough there was a newer book as well um this one where the one has like they
have a miniature power fist on the front of it i can't remember the name of the book as
well though elay angry captain caddison you couldn't remember was called claw of the desert
tiger thank you thank you angry lemongrass with five european orcs uh i posted some memes
in the chat from dj we do also i think me and collin we might have also picked out uh
a smaller regiment to sort of if we're finished with the cash chan uh there's there's one
more just they're gonna talk about what they did in the great rift uh when that happened
so when katia fell a whole bunch of regiments just fled to catacan to be refugees and the
catacan didn't really have an issue with them coming there but they said none of them could
land on the planet because if they did they would just die uh except for one the uh tulosian
gray raiders i believe they were a tulosian gray company pardon me uh so they were they
impressed katakana they're like yeah you guys can land and then it turns out they were all
trader guardsmen whose home planet only fell because they summoned demons on it and then
now katakand was getting invaded and then all the tulosians died uh they landed on the
planet they summoned demons and then the jungle ate them like they would the katakand soldiers
would fight them and then they would you know the katakand would disappear and then they'd
chase them and then a bloodthirster would get eat would get strangled find which is
uh probably saying like you know maybe they have something to say in katia and so to have
it a little bit easy because the same thing happened to them and they just were like yeah
we'll handle it and then they handled it yeah uh guilt by the times is a good book yeah
by the time the endowment crusade rolled around to katakana it was there was no more chaos
left easy that was it they just they the jungle ate everything jesus christ truly the chicago
of flora planet it uh it does bring me great pain to say that while the katakand jungle
fighters do have viable models they're not only some of the most hideous models in all
of warhammer i think it's awesome but the rules suck yeah they don't even have rules
and they get scout you can deploy them farther ahead wonderful that's it i love i love new
warhammer they're also they're also guardsmen whose whole thing is getting a bonus on the
charge if you're charging as guardsmen you have failed you have you have done you are
playing them wrong you need a different army yeah truly uh you're gonna get good rules
when they are good models that's the way it goes so never and he's got the and he's got
the vtuber get up going now this this is my oh my lord uh this this is my this is my theory
though they're they're never gonna give katakand new models because they're one of the last
holdouts of when warhammer was goofy yeah so they're getting wildly executed yeah but
the orcs are like goofy though they just they i mean they look they look goofy but like
it's only the orcs that are allowed to keep that spirit going everyone else needs to be
melodramatic now yeah the katakands have the nice like play-doh face look that's yeah the
katakand has that intimidth riz yeah uh and i think that's really about it for katakand
you don't need to know a lot about katak like five minutes of understanding katakand is
really all you need uh they're very they're very simple but they're very fun andy have
i have i andy have i done good yeah he does that's a thumbs up for audio listeners there
uh so yeah read all of their lore never ever ever ever play and buy their models or do
except for slime marble but i guess because he got an update i like their old models i
also like the guy who's no pardon me no good good it's that i don't remember his name but
it's the he's uh like he's clearly the sergeant from predator oh yeah and or sergeant johnson
yeah he's just sergeant johnson yeah it's it's uh i'm gonna see if i can't uh-oh he's
one of those like 50 dollar guardsman models and but my my google chrome just crashed so
i guess i will not be looking up that man's name because when i went to do it it broke
oh no we're not gonna lose another oh no i'm i'm in i've got carl weathers is that well
that's the yeah no yeah it's carl weather that's the actor uh is he even his models
are here speaking of that there does it we have any other was there like another favorite
regiment column as well or jumping into my one uh going to yours oh well i've got one
that is kind of not really seen since the horrors like heresy much but they i found
out they do still technically exist and this is the regiment called the lucifer blacks
lucifer blacks are quite cool because during the horrors heresy they were kind of a mix
of regular frontline troops but also they dealt with espionage and security in a lot
of ways they were often seen as like the absolute elite of the lead i think of all that the
normal guard regiments of today they're very much just you're just soldiers that's kind
of what you're expected to do whereas the lucifer blacks were a bit more than that they
were like an organization that went alongside um legion fleets and they sort of acted as
i think particularly they're often in like elf legion books as well and they were extremely
effective as a bit where that annoying character called john grammaticus the one day perpetuals
love each other this guy is this guy's old he's got he's a psych he's got powers beyond
belief and he almost loses to like just one lucifer black guy like he almost gets taken
down by just one of them because they're just so good they often well really like sharp
neat uniform they're very much what's kind of almost like weirdly enough it's a massive
departure from what is like modern regiments where like they're almost an extreme cultural
thing taken to the other end this one's very much like oh this could be an elite operative
unit kind of anywhere and after the horrors sorry after the horrors heresy they kind of
went massively downhill they got absolutely downgraded because they'd earned such renowns
during the great crusade and horrors harris oh no more more memes in the chat people and
he got the collin data what the fuck why am i getting a strain uh don't say the donation
says did andy unlock the fortnight season pass or is he preparing to receive visits
from women of dubious reputation both perhaps which really got the lord christ battle pass
less data when i dress fine the lucifer blacks after the great crusade and horrors heresy
they'd earned such renown they were essentially the best of what human like normal humans
could be and because of that they they were often like around or allowed like guard places
particularly on terror as well alongside other regiments and this meant that people then
were more concerned with getting their you know my my second son on my you know my favorite
child into the lucifer black so over time they became more like a pageant like a like
a sort of shadow of themselves they were essentially filled with over time like degrading levels
of recruits to the point where i think it's m32 when the war of the beast began they were
massively seen as like oh you know look how glorious past they hadn't done anything in
a hot minute and they were kind of like an embarrassment but with the massive like war
and the war of the beast threatening they kind of re-emerged and they sort of like the
people who were the lucifer blacks at the time basically went we know we ain't we ain't
hot shit right now but we could be give us another chance imperius they fought alongside
the imperial fist like you know last war protocol and they sort of managed to re-establish themselves
like a sort of serious legion a serious regiment and now they are essentially re-established
back to that their former strength and they now fight their modern regiment to today there
i don't think i've seen like i mean i look up what their visuals are but they are known
for like being pretty clean cut and they're not as wacky as some of the other regiments
but i do like them simply for the fact that they pretty much at one point were like seeing
the lucifer blacks was just as threatening as fighting sort of a start he's at some point
they were like oh god we are gonna die just like it's not like oh you know the cash out
and jungle fighters were fighters they know they're great individual this is like this
is a regiment that's actually going to like destroy us you call it ambience right now
pardon me the dogs are going a bit off that's like that's just one of like my little that's
one of the little spicy regiments here again like the future episodes we're going to talk
about i think the more bigger ones we'll try and give a bit more of a whole episode two
this is so mean this is such a mean meme i'm still saying you're so mean in the chat i'm
still saying um the kadians need their own episode to be fair oh man
oh please stop commenting about things and jars please stop commenting about things and
jars please for the poor listeners out here who don't see the absolute heinous does anyone
want to read out some of the more heinous comments that we're receiving at the moment
somebody said this is calling the calling just get back from rehab somebody this is
a cause not cool enough for rehab you know i have a perfectly normal social life outside
of this fucking channel i hope you know jesus christ for in quotes by jack dole doors for
the jar yeah i'm disgusted um i think that's kind of that's all is that i think for now
that's like our first sort of foray into guard regiments like there's like there's just so
many of them but we'll probably spitting them up into a few different uh episodes as well
um anyone else wants to add anything more to the name of jar comments we got we got
we got time for like two ford night games for what i'm just saying bro this is actually
about spotify when you have a serious that'd be very funny uh i do was it someone said
um who the hell just typed isn't calling the tallest amongst us absolutely not no and he's
hung up a notepad here saying this is an accessible stream zero faults for everyone who's just
an audio listener um without again never before seen technical issues on logmime stream i hope
you read my super andy i love you um anything on elysian drop tubes troops they'll get their own
episode but you don't want to talk about too many uh i like the jacob be maccabi and janice series
they're cool but especially the cannon fodder when harley comes visiting because stody's got
the guard treatment yeah they did thank you stealthy 47 the author messed that up no he didn't
but i'm fine with him i'm fine with saying he didn't it was on purpose uh custodians custodian l
uh harlequin better truly works for me you see you know what one of those two factions has a
god that's still kicking about not stuck to a chair it's not the custodians technically the star
charlotte is still around okay no the starch that whole thing got undone no a lot it did now
now do you know what did they bring to the death
bro okay this we're not gonna do it too much now but the end of death proved that the emperor's
like the godlike power part of the emperor the bit like that empowers saints and miracles
yeah there's a piece of the emperor like he cut off from himself and it's in the warp and that's
called the star child so it came back around i hate that kind of stuff i like it it's actually
really i mean i actually do like it yeah why can't he just be one guy because it's crazy the emperor's
like the mortal being on the throne like the undead slash human thing and then the actual
godlike power there's an actual entity like you know how sinesh was bubbling up into something
essentially is saying like that like they're about to create humans are about to create our own
version of sinesh but it's the emperor for the older version where it's just one of the many
fragments of his soul that's split over the 10k years on the throne it's described like that but
again i'm not doing it justice it's hard to it is it's not like a two-minute conversation
modern nations here drunken cow 13 i think andy has the sickest drip of all of us true
my fashion sense doesn't i'm half i'm like halfway to the man he has for fashion sense
and uh drosipa on a great stream we got to see the dress mermen's andy's unse tattoo makes mine
look like a fucking yeah we're all like pretty you know covered up lose the shorts
thank you everyone so much for listening and watching though thank you very much
just the donations that came throughout truly diabolical start to this stream truly diabolical
thank you for the donations really appreciate it and thank you one more speaks to a skeleton
thank you so much uh next week is i think a tier list or possibly equivalent decided yet um or
maybe a video game stream oh might be doing something for gaming streams in the meantime
thank you guys so much for listening uh we should always say at the beginning like and subscribe
so we started at the beginning we should beg on our knees for it at the beginning um but thank you
guys who listened so far that was some imperial guard lore and we'll catch you in the next one
peace bye bye laughter is about to make me have another dreadnought moment goodbye everyone thank
you for coming night truly the insmouth drip