INTRO MUSIC
Hello everyone!
Hello!
It's us, the law crimes people.
Hello!
What's happening?
Welcome back criminal scum.
Andy, we didn't even have time to start and there was already a VTuber comment.
Are you sure you're not a farseer?
DJ Beast again commenting about how Colin has actually made his bed.
And when will he watch any movie?
Never.
Well, that first one, it's a little bit rough right now, but you'll do what you gotta do.
The second one, don't ask me that one.
When's the last time you went to the cinema?
It's been months and there were long months between them.
I think the last movie I saw in theaters was Oppenheimer.
What a thing to go back to.
I mean it was a good movie.
It had a little bit too many boobs in it for my taste though.
Yeah, I agree.
I want to say the last movie I saw in cinema was the last Star Wars film that came out.
So that was way...
Oh my gosh Andy.
Wait, episode 9?
Wait, like...
What a horrible movie to end on.
That's why I'm the man.
I'm like, I've been scarred.
I can't go back to the sit-up.
But Andy, now we're all the Sith.
I'm all the Jedi.
Isn't that cool?
I'm all the Sith, I'm all the Jedi, and I am all the fast food chains.
Did you like the fleet of Death Star Destroyers?
Yeah.
And then they kissed.
Turn the thing off and on again.
It's fine.
They can't fly up.
It's fine.
Anyway, we're not here to talk about that toss.
We're here to talk about some other toss.
Colin, what are we talking about today?
The episode 9 of The Warhammer Lore.
Oh, come on.
We are talking about craft worlds today.
The five major ones, as there are a decent amount of craft worlds.
But a lot of them have lore that just straight up doesn't mean anything.
So it's really just going to be the main big five.
Alatak, Altan Sar, Ulthwe, Aiyenden, and Be'il Tan.
Before that, though, we do have to, I think, get into the question of the week.
As we did, I think we asked last time, what would you do if you had immortality?
Yeah, you did.
I was waving my chance to say it.
I didn't mean to say Altan Sar.
So we asked people last week what they'd do if they had immortality within the Warhammer universe.
And there were some responses.
We had the first one here by at Spartan, Pippa Paul 6229.
He puts hashtag immortal.
I would stand by Manfred's corpse guarding it from getting resurrected and use his grave as a latrine just in case he got resurrected.
So he turned into a shit demon.
Not a turd demon. We don't need that.
I think there's a donation here by Rolf. Thank you very much, Rolf.
He says a special thank you to Colin for introducing me to the glory that is Godreken Felix and especially the funny Ratman.
Also, what are the group's thoughts of the end and the death of Volumes?
We might have to save our thoughts there on the specific essay because there's a lot to go through.
To my shame, I have not even started the end and the death yet because I'm waiting for them on audio.
That's the only ones I haven't done. On all the Siege of Terror, all of Horus Heresy.
Just need to catch up with those now they're all out.
For a quick thought from someone who hasn't read them, it seems the consensus from everyone I've heard talk about it is it did not need to be three books.
Quite long.
The Hobbit movie effect.
Yeah, it could have been just two very long ones though.
Because I think the middle book, the gap between those threads being closed, it was clearly done now and it didn't want to make it three books.
It is what it is.
So what did GW realize they were running out of Horus Heresy?
Yeah, keep it going. Edge it just a bit longer.
Another one here by at killer Orca.
Thank you.
Same thing really. I'd spend my time fucking with the big movers and shakers of the series.
There must be some massive painting on terror depicting a glorious victory by Lord Solar Leonitus.
Or Leontas, sorry.
And then in the corner that's me in the Aquila gang puffy jacket throwing the Aquila gang gang.
I think it's a warfare there.
The supreme jackets.
DJ Beast. We have one by the illustrious DJ Beast.
Regular supporter of the channel.
He puts, I'm going full Colin with this.
I'd go on the biggest degenerate journey across the galaxy from Comra to the ghoul stars.
Nowhere is safe.
The new elictre got me acting unwise.
Good man.
Oh brother.
And the last one here is by at Gage Brown 9 9 15.
He put I'd flip off Nagash content in the knowledge you could never do anything about it.
Nice. That's pretty good.
To fair.
He's coming for you.
He probably could do something about it to be fair because Nagash is nothing but petty and has ego problems the size of an entire universe.
The mortal realms belong to him.
No one else just realizes it yet.
We're all just living in his world.
To be fair though that was thank you so much for your submissions for that one.
People have suggested for other questions that we do.
We'll take them. We appreciate that support.
But we do have another one I do believe and for this week.
Do you want to explain what the question.
I was like Colin do you want to take it.
I just like to briefly get in and complain about the poll Andy.
I can have carbs.
My insulin.
How many can you have before it becomes a problem.
I'm the only problem there is my weight.
True.
There was a comment I didn't include where someone said if Colin became immortal would he have to change his name to pancreas now works.
Am I am I amortally diabetic.
Yeah.
I need an immortal insulin pump to know this is your you have a superpower of giving people diabetes.
I wanted to say ha ha ha.
A few hours.
Really bad if you don't have insulin.
We're in a fight right now.
Big war.
20 minutes.
You're going to feel it.
Everyone's putting their pikes down.
They just hear the beep is like sorry guys.
Anyway.
Yeah.
So today because we're doing some elder stuff some elder scum some knife here stuff our hashtag is hashtag path which path of the elder would you create if you could make one for yourself.
Is there ever has anyone got an example of one they'd make in the team of a fun elder path of bad taste.
You get to enjoy movies like the ninth Star Wars film.
And like you just wholeheartedly like open weeping cry at how amazing crappy crappy adaptations are.
And you'd be the happiest person in the room.
But everyone is crying.
I know that would be like part of the bad taste or like in some something better than that.
My favorite movie is solo a Star Wars story.
Listen OK the Witcher adaptation is by far the most superior TV adaptation.
My boy it's the halo show.
For the amount of code I've seen in the comments like the season two is quite good.
You should watch it.
I'm like I'm not watching that.
Compared to a one out of 10 a three out of 10 is a masterpiece.
What's a one out of 10 for you though.
The halo show is horrible.
They don't know your actions.
As of time recording.
Do you like the bit in the trailer for season two where he told Cortana to shut up because clearly Master Chief would say that to Cortana.
Because of the pain in your face man the pain on your face.
God I love I love modern halo.
I love the modern game industry.
We talk about elves.
Yes.
Happy place right now.
We have to mediate it with a little bit of despair before we get Colin in this happy place.
That's how it works.
So that's a little bit more you know bit warmer to the heart though.
I kind of favor of Colin.
I think fancy probably kick started it for you right Colin but then Eldon 40k is still a dub.
They're they're my they're my little 40k enclave.
When I go into a cross was their life in the craft world who's got the best you know racing stripes on their craft world.
He's got everything we're ready to go in.
Let's go.
You want to take us away with the beginner.
Yeah, I can start a little bit.
We are talking about craft roles as Colin said the big five we might say one or two things about everyone else but most of the craft world lords craft worlds dying and losing so might get past it more or less.
I shouldn't have given it so much hype.
Well the big the big five are cool okay the big five welcome to depression.
You know like GW like you know I don't know what book about like the guard or something and a space marine chapter you've never heard of shows up they're going to die to make the main character do something important.
Yeah, true, true.
For context the craft world is basically a like continent to moon sized big giant spaceship.
That is pretty much a giant city and living place for the elder.
They all ran away when before the fall happened so they were the last ones to survive other than the dukari and the exodites.
They have their little infinity circuits where all their dead reside and float around in the craft world so they're protected from slanesh.
The main craft worlds we got a late talk.
They're have lots of cool Rangers because they're very stuck up and a lot of people don't want to live there.
They also have a good fleet and they're smartsiesmarts if battle same hands really fast they're red.
They have like tribal families and stuff.
They're one of my favorites.
Beel Tan is very militaristic and returns it to tradition type of guys.
Ulthwe is Eldrad and was the last one that I and is the yellow guys who have lots of wraith lords cost of stuff.
They got eaten by tyrannids so they have probably the most lore which again is just them being eaten by tyrannids but it's there.
They're the only ones with the codex supplement written by Matt Ward.
My favorite is the black library because they publish warhammer books.
I always forget that that's a craft world.
Yeah that always throws me off.
The naming convention is just weird isn't it though. Like late talk, Ulthwe, black library.
Yeah we had a nice Gaelic thing going and then suddenly black library.
Yeah and all the Eldar are just there going shhh.
I do have a small question though. Were the craft worlds when they were made, were they simply just merchant things in the beginning?
I don't know if I'm getting that right or they were simply exile ships designed by people who were like that's cringe I'm going to go away from society and study the blade.
They, Eva do you want to get it?
I don't even, I don't remember.
They were basically just merchant ships like their whole thing was they, because they had no warp drives on their ships they just kind of floated between the Eldar empire.
So they saw how everyone else was getting a little bit too goofy for their liking and then they started like evacuating like our culture, people, all the stuff they could take off of them that wanted to leave what was the Eldar empire that was pretty quickly circling around the drain by that point.
Yeah, someone asked if they missed the exodites in the chats. You did not miss the exodites, they do exist but they're not a craft world.
They're not, they also don't have any lore last I checked. They have dinosaurs and Ted Kaczynski and that's it.
They'll probably be a kill team at some point. Yeah that'd be nice. They are really cool.
Maiden worlds are nice and pretty. But lastly, Clancy Brown voiced an exodite in the Warhammer show.
I was like, oh, Mr. Krabs.
There's the Mugg on Razcraft world has a little bit of lore. Is that Altenzar? Is that what it's called?
Yeah, that's Altenzar. They got thrown into the warp and then they got rescued by Mugg on Raul later on.
But yeah, that's the very basic rundown. I really can't go in depth at all because there's not enough other Raul to take away from Colin.
But I'll talk about Beelzebub later. Colin's going to talk about the other guys right now.
Indeed. So yeah, this is a not strictly speaking history of any Eldar in particular.
Although when we get to Ulthwe, you know, that's going to be real hard to pull off.
But you know, just like the craft worlds as a whole. So like Eli said, you know, Hal,
they've all got the same basic origins. They were really just glorified trading vessels.
Although that in mind trading vessels with space elf magic to their very core.
So, you know, they're still big planet sized magical ships.
But compared to the rest of the Elder Empire, nothing too great and no warp engine.
So instead of going through the warp like the Elder still could have by that point, they just kind of floated across reality.
And that's a dumb question. Are some craft worlds bigger than other, as in like literally in size, are some craft worlds bigger than others?
There's no like standard one size fits all for the craft worlds.
And some of them have come down with a bad case of getting exploded.
Oh, oh, okay.
Too big or exploded. So they've had to either split off or have been split off.
Like some of them have over time had to jettison parts of their structure.
So, you know, they're not there's no one size fits all.
My craft world could beat up your dad. Which one's the biggest?
Do you reckon that actually comes up? Like my craft world is bigger than yours?
I think Beelten was the biggest one, but I'm not sure.
It was Zyandon and then Beelten. And then it gets a little bit muddy.
But yeah, so because they didn't, you know, have warp travel, they would spend a long period of time, anyone on the craft worlds without actually talking to anyone outside of the craft world.
So they could see they had a very unique view of things and that they were the only ones who saw just how far gone the Eldar who just lived on the planets were really getting.
And when things started getting really bad, you know, Slash was on the horizon, a couple a lot of them realize they better just leave because things are not looking very good right now.
And so they started evacuating people. They started anything they could get from their home worlds.
It could fit started piling it on and getting the hell out of the Eldar core worlds because it was it was not looking good.
And the rule of thumb is that if a craft world exists, it got far enough away from the birth of Slaanesh.
Sure enough, when that happened, you know, we get the Eye of Terror warp storms everywhere.
Things weren't great. And now the Eldar Empire is dead and gone.
Ninety nine percent of them went with it.
Of course, not all of them quite managed to get out.
You know, I've said the ones we know of today did.
I don't and I don't think they ever gave a specific number, but plenty of the ones that were built didn't did not get out in time.
So they got so much even though they didn't really do anything.
Getting Slaanesh sounds like they were actual phrase of I've got Slaanesh.
You can't even be yeesh.
I mean, I couldn't help but I've been working my Fabius Bar script and I did a line that's something like his experiments cause Slaanesh to salivate with the corruptions like, yeah, they like Fabius even though he's like God's a creep.
I don't know what it's like to be caught in Slaanesh's grip, but it's probably moist.
Oh, sure. They describe the fall though. I said it on a previous stream when Lorgoth saw it, he described it like a rippling wave of demon flesh.
So that's basically what it and then your soul would just be instantly like yoinked and then it was tortured and eaten.
So that was so I can imagine being in the inside of a ship.
Was it? I think it happened in the Eye of Terror, right? I assume it's not like, there's a certain radius where like it probably went further because the Eye of Terror doesn't look like it's, you know, I mean like a third of the size of the galaxy.
Yeah, and they were across the galaxy. I think that's one of those things they never set like, you know, a set line where it's like yes, this many light years is the danger zone. Outside of that, you're good.
I think other things got eaten as well. Things that just live near the Eldar, other Xenos.
Yeah, if you were unfortunate to live near the Eldar Empire, you know, you also got sucked into the Eye of Terror.
Just a few poor J'Kerra, just being like, what's going on?
Just building my monkey stuff.
I just wanted to return to monkey and then it's just like, hello.
Hello, I'm Slanesh, you look tasty.
Yeah, so that was not great.
The two ones, the major exceptions that didn't quite manage to get out, but we still know exist, was Ulthwe and Altan Sar.
Altan Sar was just swallowed whole by the Eye of Terror. The only one who got out was Maugen Ra, a real one for real.
And Ulthwe half made it out, kind of getting caught. And I think it was described as the gravity of the Eye of Terror,
which I guess is interesting to know that it has gravity.
But they couldn't get too far away, so they got to fight a lot of demons.
And also after the birth of Slanesh, when Cain got sharded, all those little shards that turned into the Avatar of Cain landed across the craft worlds
and drove everyone into a little bit of a murder frenzy.
So even though they got away from Slanesh, now Cain is indirectly killing all of the Eldar again.
Because his favorite hobby is to kill elves.
All that revenge for existing, am I right?
Yeah. How dare you?
As much as the same as Cain does get sort of ruined in law, they kind of don't give him the treatment he deserves.
He certainly, in a way, deserves a good slap though.
He's such a dick. He's such a dickhead.
He's awful. If it weren't for the fact that he always loses, no one would be asking for more Cain wounds.
It's just he's lost so many times.
Is he like the Nagash of? Maybe not as bad as Nagash.
No, because at least when Nagash loses he's doing something cool and otherwise he's gonna blow up the world.
Cain's just fighting two space marines and a squad of guardsmen and he gets bonned.
Alright then. I always find it weird that Cain and Khorne are quite similar.
They have that warish fighting thing.
It's really really difficult to distinguish what makes them particularly different other than one's a demon guy, one's an Eldar guy.
They're both red, they're both swords, they both cause their men to go mental and bloodthirsty frenzies.
It's like, oh we've got Khorne at home and it's Cain. Poor guy.
My way I look at it is that Cain is older. He's from the war in heaven, not whenever Khorne popped into reality.
And he doesn't quite corrupt you. He's not a chaos god even though he is a warp god.
So you know, Cain's influence, it'll drive you a little bit crazy, a little bit nutty,
but you're not gonna grow tentacles out of your spine or any shit like that can happen with Khorne.
Isn't Cain more, like Khorne's more war and blood and Cain's more murder?
Yeah, Cain's also just happy for you to murder someone in Cold Blood.
Doesn't necessarily need it to be in war.
It could be sneaky as well.
Just Khorne without the honor, just like stab him in the back, it's fine, it's good fun.
It's fantasy lore but there are human cults dedicated to Cain and they're not warrior cults, they're just murderers.
They're the Dark Brotherhood.
Oh god.
I can hear Cicero's voice in my ear.
The Night Mother.
The Night King.
Hey, Magesta.
I sleep in it so quickly.
What would be worse, opening your door and finding Cicero in your room or Meridia's beacon?
Meridia's beacon.
There was a patch in that you could originally drop the beacon and she'd basically go,
What's wrong with you, scum?
But they got rid of that.
Of course they got rid of it because that's all anyone did.
But you can never drop the beacon, but luckily it weighs nothing.
The worst thing is trying to find the beacon though because then if you're trying to look for it and get two dawn...
Is it Dawnbreakers? You get two Dawnbreakers.
I think, right?
I don't think you'd get two of them.
I think you'd get two.
With Bethesda glitches you can probably get a million other things if you just duplicate them, right?
It just reminds me of playing Oblivion and then getting a bunch of arrows and doing the duplicates and just being like,
Wheels of cheese!
Still love the necromantic one though.
But yeah, after Slyness was born most of the craft worlds just kind of focused on hiding and trying to survive,
Which, like you said, Hal, people who weren't Eldar were feeling the effects of Slyness's birth and they're not inherently connected to her.
So the Eldar were in a bit of a panic, a shutdown mode, which I don't blame them for.
And just, yeah, for the most part they just didn't want to be involved in anything.
I mean, yeah, Orican felt Slyness's birth. He doesn't have a soul.
So they were just kind of hiding.
Some individuals were active. You know, Eldrad makes a couple appearances in the Horus Heresy,
So not all of them collectively shut themselves in, but most of them did.
That being said, early on in their history two craft worlds were doing stuff, Beeltaan and Iandon.
Iandon did most of the actually productive stuff. Yeah, I have my favoritism. What about it?
Come on.
What do you want? I like my Ghost Robots or the army I collect for them.
Them, a spirits seer known as Melindri Silversoul, which, Elfist name I think I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah, sounds like a bard from Baldur's Gate or something.
Yeah. Made the Infinity Circuits, which is how the Eldar keep their souls from Slyness's grip when they die.
They go in the Soul Stone, they put their soul in that, and then they get plopped into Purgatory, which is better than Slyness.
Iandon did that, and then they shared it with everyone, and they said that, guys, we got this cool new invention, we can save our souls.
Let's get back out there, let's take back the Eldar Empire. And to that, almost every other craft world said, thank you for the free stuff, good luck with it.
Not the most supportive group of fellas.
Except for Beeltaan. Hey, Beeltaan decided they were going to help. They really wanted the glory back because they're the Imperium but with pointy ears.
So they agreed to help Iandon, and it went pretty well at first. Beeltaan went throughout the eastern half of the galaxy, Iandon took the western half.
They did a pretty good job in making sure chaos wasn't an issue for a few thousand years. Just keeping things clean.
But, you know, they would, and yeah, pardon me, frequently, you know, Webway gates connect all the craft worlds, so it's really just a short walk, no matter how far away they are. They would go on joint ventures, they'd let the other do their thing.
Usually Beeltaan would focus on, you know, going out there doing the offense while Iandon would rebuild and colonize. And it was good for a while, but over time, things would drift apart.
Iandon felt Beeltaan was just a bit too focused on only reclaiming maiden worlds, like they couldn't even colonize yet. And perhaps just a little bit too much genocide for the Iandon elder to be comfortable with.
If you happen to live on a maiden world, your life was now forfeit as far as Beeltaan cared.
And Beeltaan, for their part, felt that Iandon was letting the lesser races claim what was very rightfully theirs, since maiden worlds were, Eldar worlds created millions of years ago, and Beeltaan's eyes, Iandon was just letting them squat there on their property.
And then, you know, just, they just generally weren't committed enough, is what Beeltaan felt.
And over time, this led to them slowly drifting apart, which culminated in Iandon basically unofficially cutting ties and just not responding to Beeltaan whenever they asked for help anymore, which Beeltaan took as a huge betrayal and you know they were pretty mad about it, but they got over themselves and went about crusading as they did.
And the rest of the craft world, you know, began to take shape into what they would become.
Beeltaan had its wild riders, Ulthwe was the seer faction, Alitoc has its rangers, Iandon the Wraith, after getting obliterated by everyone in the galaxy ever.
And Beeltaan just, again, being... I don't want to call them particularly evil because this is Warhammer and not liking people that don't look like you is kind of the standard assumption.
Like the black templars of the Eldar. It's on the edge of like, if it was by our modern standards, it's like yikes.
Yeah, that's Beeltaan. As a general rule of thumb across the craft worlds, they will be ruled by their seer council.
They read fate, you know, look through the webs of all the different possibilities like, I was once a doctor strange from Infinity War, just looking at all the timelines, doing their best, although not quite as good as him, unfortunately.
And they try and guide their craft world on a path best suited just to victory, but oftentimes just survival.
This is my line where I cope about the Eldar losing all the time. Although it seems many times as if the Eldar are defeated, it's often that the defeat now will result in fewer lives lost than later.
Which means the greatest Eldar victory is this. I think this is even something that like, if you look at like Farseer lore, the greatest Eldar victory is one you will never know happened because it technically didn't.
That is the most zinge of all responses.
That's such a cop out.
It's such a cop out.
We win so good you don't even know we've won. It's like, hmm, it's like the Super Playground thing.
There are some examples like Eldrad early on, it looked like he just, all he did was lose a battle against orcs, that was just pretty awful.
But it prevented the craft world from going to war against each other and blow each other all up. So hey, it does work.
Still results in dead elves, which I'm not a fan of, but you know it is what it is.
Dead elves. They usually go into the spirit stones though, so I mean, they do.
Not always though, sometimes that don't happen.
They do end the last, you know, the general thing, two last general things.
Their military is the aspect warriors, but as a result of them being a dying race, not always a lot of aspect wars to go around.
In fact, if you're not Beeltaan, you probably don't have as many aspect warriors as you would like.
They also don't, but that's not really for supply reasons. That's just because they want more people to murder with.
So their military will be equal parts militia, you know, they're called the, you know, like guardian defenders, stuff like that at the tabletop.
They're just non-warrior path Eldar who get grabbed up, are given a temporary war mask to block the horrors of war out,
and are told to go shoot whatever is bothering the Eldar today. Those will make up a lot of the military.
Last thing before I go on a bit is just that whole path system thing.
So why did, why did Slyneash happen? It's because the Eldar experience emotions far stronger than any other being,
and their psychic power means that has a lot of an echo in the war, which when they started getting real, generet led to Slyneash.
So the Phoenix Lords, the demigods, a good word, I would think, like modern day Eldar demigods created the path system,
which is basically, let's say the big ones are obviously, you know, the path of a warrior like Dire Avenger, Warp Spider,
but there will be like paths for everything, you know, path of botanist, path of a McDonald's fry cook, anything you can think of.
Path of exile. Yeah, path of the exile. But you do it, you do it.
That one's a book, man. How did I miss that? Although to be fair, path of the exile is kind of just going,
I don't want to deal with the path system, so it's a bit weird.
Part of the lore master. Having a skill that you cannot use in any other job.
Path of the deep fat fryer to keep everyone fed. Path of the laying in bed all day and not doing anything.
It's basically they're going to lock themselves into one path and just focus the hell on that to a ridiculously disciplined degree.
So they don't have to worry about, you know, any like temptations or straight thoughts or anything catching them off guard.
They focus all of their effort on the one thing they're all about.
It's not necessarily always, you know, like boring, disciplinary stuff like, you know, path of the musician or something.
They do have fulfilling non-murder people jobs.
It's just that, you know, you're on the path of the electric guitarist.
You are only going to be playing the electric guitar for about a thousand years.
Don't even look at an acoustic one.
And you can switch like part of the path of the command is that you've walked other warrior paths.
So, you know, the experience of several. It's just that while they're on that path, you're off it.
Which I've seen some people online say that sounds like they just fall to the sun ash again because it's all about perfection.
But the thing about the path system is that the end goal isn't mastering that skill.
It's just a natural result of doing the same thing over and over again, day in, day out for forever.
Yeah, it'd be like even if I go back to the guitar, I don't really have too much of an interest in learning the guitar.
But if I did that for the next 10 years of my life and only worked on mastering the guitar,
I'd probably be pretty decent at playing it.
Do these parts of the craft world have like a little split into these different sections or different paths?
Do you know that?
So at least the warrior paths do have their own shrines on the craft worlds.
So those paths, I know, have their own little sections off of the in the craft worlds.
I'm not as sure about like other ones like the path of the village drunk probably doesn't need a shrine.
There was a shrine where you get drinking.
You know, you got a good point. The whole craft world is a shrine.
Where's the Guinness, brother?
But overall, like that's one of those things where I can't even say that's an Eldar thing.
It's a Warhammer lore aspect that isn't about the war.
So it's a little underdeveloped.
Thank you, Jake Thornton, for path of the VTuber.
There it is.
Path of the VTuber.
Path of the Bloodraven. Come on.
You're just a thief.
What if we did an episode where we all have like avatars instead of they like moved?
There's like VTuber avatars.
All those the quizzes, hell.
I mean, like, no, but it actually moved along with us.
Oh, those things, from what I've heard about and I like talking to some, like those things are complicated as hell.
Although, I mean, either way, you need you need to pay to like get the rigging up.
No, it's not. I'm good. I'm not that dedicated to the bit.
We've already got our faces out there.
This is this is the most amount of motion anyone's going to get.
I know amount of anime avatar is going to sound like I have any emotion in my voice.
I don't know what to tell you on that one, fellas.
You have a great voice. What are you talking about?
Oh, I'm a fan. It's just trying to imply I'm feeling any sort of emotion at any given moment. A little bit hard.
I am excited.
I am just like Captain Hulk.
Quaking in my boots.
I'm actually getting excited.
There's a Mandalore video where it's got like something like that, a bit like that.
All of us, when we first started out, I'm pretty sure all of our voices were like, oh, did anyone here ever heard their first video again?
Yeah, you know I am.
Oh, yeah.
Agony.
My first video is so bad. I can't even.
I feel a physical wound when I listen to my voice.
It created a tap in the wall.
I make a joke about sounding very neutral.
My first few videos, better than what I was doing at first, I sounded like I was two steps away from putting a gun to my head.
I sounded horribly depressed.
Which I guess to be fair, I started doing that when I was student teaching.
Mine sounded like I was under threat.
It was like I was reading off of a hostage note.
Mine has gone lower as time has gone up. I've gone from like, hello everyone, I'm doing it, then I'm like, I'm talking about the 41st millennium.
You can see the trend of just trying to get lower and lower and lower and shredding my voice a bit.
Yeah, that's the general across the board Eldar things, like I was saying.
Beeltaan and Iandon kind of focused on it for now because they were leading the show for a bit on a craft-roll level.
All the others were kind of just doing their thing, doing their best to not get devoured by either Slymesh or a galaxy full of things that hate them.
Beeltaan and Iandon early on were going off.
But with that, we'll get to the specifics.
We're going to start with Iandon and then Eli will throw it your way a bit for some Beeltaan.
But Iandon, I'm doing it, I do my favorite first.
It was once, keyword once, the most popular craft world by a pretty fair margin.
Once, twice, three times across the board.
And then it very abruptly wasn't.
Bit of a goof.
Probably the closest to good Eldar, like how a lot of factions are in 40k.
Because their whole thing was like they focused on cleaning the galaxy of chaos and all that bad stuff.
And they did a pretty good job of it.
Their sections of the galaxy for thousands of years basically had no chaos tainted in them.
Said they were the largest craft world, said they could levy a lot of forces.
They had the support of Beeltaan early on and even when they lost that, they were still the largest craft world.
They were pretty good at what they did.
And then if you played Halo Wars, setback after setback, loss after loss, things were no longer going in Iandon's favor.
And then I'm going to be honest, most of what I have written for them is just getting their ass kicked.
First, there was that whole dissolution of the alliance with Beeltaan.
Then Prince Uriel makes his appearance and starts leading them into some pretty glorious wars.
Not many casualties. He's doing pretty good.
And then because his arrogance gets the best of him.
Otherwise hugely successful war against a chaos based marine warband, like they were getting obliterated, results in a last minute tragedy where a little thing known as a cyclonic torpedo hits Iandon.
And whole chunks of it are destroyed.
Everyone obviously in those sections is obliterated and so are their soul stones.
So they went right to Slenash.
I can just imagine some poor sod fighting on the front lines like, yeah, we're winning, we're winning, and then just like, huh?
Oh no. Just seeing it slowly moving and then just...
Lord Fawcett, a second cyclonic torpedo hits the craft world.
Wow. That entire section got sauteed and stirred into a star.
Our craft world is now puree. Oh no.
This is not great. A craft world is very big. Like it is the size of a planet. So you need a couple of them to put them out of commission.
You don't want them to hit. Like one cyclonic torpedo is one too many.
So they're kind of recovering from that mess.
Then High Fleet Cracket shows up.
Half of it, the other half going to fight the ultramarines. Of course, the greatest of us all.
The other half went towards the Eldar. And while it's basically like the big come together moment where everyone, like all the Eldar craft worlds start sending troops to help Iandin out because Terenids are a problem for everyone.
Could they not run away? Isn't that wasn't a possibility?
They thought they were going to win.
One, they were arrogant and thought they were that guy just straight up.
Like Eldred warned them like, no, you don't want this. You don't want any of this smoke. You want to get out of here.
My pronouns are not they and that because I'm him. I'm always him.
Yeah. They weren't him.
No, they were. Iandin was not him.
Eldred just got a shrug of shoulders like, all right, well, good luck with that, guys. Have fun.
And despite, you know, early on their fleet held off the Terenids, as you know, with the Terenids, there is always more Terenids.
Eight four fifths of the remaining craft world.
Yikes. Tough. Not not great.
In some ways, not as bad as, you know, like that cyclonic torpedo thing because, you know, the Terenids don't for the usually don't care too much about soul stones.
They just want the biomass. So they probably ate the soul stones as well, to be fair.
Yeah, but you can dig that out of their guts.
They probably got digested. Let us have this. Let me live in my delusion.
It doesn't hurt you to let me pretend. Am I wrong, though? Am I wrong?
All it specifically says is that a lot of Eldar got eaten.
So I choose to believe that soul stones are the last of the
Look, you know, the digesting happens, the digestion pulls after the fact that Terenids don't eat you on the spot.
So, no, they were not eaten.
I don't know. I just I feel like it would be like a gallstone or something of a Terenid eats like, oh, it's not very comfortable. It's not going down easy.
It hurts. You do not want to get the soul gem kidney stone. Exactly.
Yeah. Pushing one of those out is not a fun time. Literal rock.
This black soul gem. And then there's this like you can just hear someone on the inside just like, let me out, let me out.
Would you rather have a black soul gem or a greater soul gem? You know, the one that's a bit more spiky.
The grand like the grand soul gem.
Because the grand one's bigger, aren't they?
I think, yeah, the grand is the one that you can also put people in.
But I feel like the grand one is smoother, even though it's larger.
I think the black soul gem is the smooth one, isn't it?
Well, they're kind of like smaller, but I think they're more purple.
I don't know, black soul gems, you can put anything in them, so they're more versatile.
Yeah. Or you could put the Azura star.
Digesting the Azura star must be impossible.
I don't want to eat any danger artifact that's there with eating like wild animals.
What's the staff called?
Of Shegorath. Jiggalag?
No. Wobberjack?
Wobberjack.
It's the Wobberjack.
I don't know why, just the idea of soul gems.
For some reason he just made me think of a poor surgeon in Skyrim just being like,
why have you been putting the soul gems up there?
God, have you got nothing to do on a Saturday night? That's a bad idea.
The noise that the Wobberjack doesn't work on...
Who's the dragon? Not Akatosh.
Alduin.
Alduin. Why doesn't the Wobberjack work on Alduin?
They ruin... because surely you can't turn him into a chicken.
It would be so cool.
Lore-wise it's because he eats the world and he's the reason we're ruining dagons and evil things,
so Shegorath's hand me down, they're not going to do anything to him.
Gameplay-wise it's because turning the final boss into a sweet roll is a little bit anti-climactic.
I mean, I can't even use it on General Tullius or Niasse. It's such a waste.
Waste opportunities.
You just turn him into a chicken and he just comes up and says, we can share a strawberry tart!
I love you. You're the best, Idrippel. I love you.
So sidetracked, sorry.
I am not coping with the Alduin. I'm not coping, chat.
Small question, is the Ant in the one where they interacted with humans?
Yeah, that was... I was going to get to that once I was done with it.
I'll just ask, so I'll make sure I don't go into it before we...
Oh yeah, no worries.
This is the bad, the ugly, and then there'll be the good next.
So in some ways, not as bad because the soul stones were mostly intact.
In others, far worse because there was only 20% of the living left and they were forced to
put those soul stones into wraith constructs for their campaigns, which is...
The Ghost Robots I love so much. Cool models, very good.
But it's like a step above grave robbing and necromancy as far as the Eldar are concerned.
Like the Infinity Circuits whole thing is you've done your part.
You can finally rest from this hellhole of a galaxy.
And then you rip them back out and tell them to go to war is basically what it is.
So, but they just do not have the people to do anything else and then throw wraiths at anything that bothers them.
Which to be fair, you know, throw wraith guard at anything, it'll probably swiftly resolve itself.
They're quite strong.
As for nowadays, with the Great Rift, they were under attack by Nergal forces.
Prince Uriel died and got... I'm pretty sure he was encased in snot.
What?
Nergal lore, I don't know, man. It's gross.
Thankfully, all those Ghost Robots meant that they wouldn't really get infected.
Because even if they did, they're made out of wraith bone, which is magical, conjured up material.
So nothing really for Nergal to infect.
So they decontaminated him and then the Inari brought him back to life.
And speaking of the Inari, their... Iandin is like neutral in a way on the Inari, like tentatively supporting them.
Although unlike a lot of the other craft worlds, it's not that they dislike the Inari's whole thing.
It's that they're already made of mostly of the dead.
And if all of the dead go to join the God of the Dead, they will no longer have enough craft world to make up a craft world.
Let alone the few remaining living amongst the craft world. If they all leave, then they're just going to die out.
So ungrateful. Right after Ben Solo transferred his life essence into Rey and Bronya.
I mean Prince Uriel.
You know, that's the great Uno Reverse card of the century.
It really is the rise of the Skywalker.
That's an unfair comparison.
But in spite of reality teabagging them all of the time, they're actually reasonably hopeful folk.
You know, they like to think they're these trials are them.
You know, they've come through all of them on top, even a pretty severely beaten.
You know, they're always looking to the galaxy with, you know, a little bit of hope.
Not a lot. This is 40k, but you know, a little bit.
And they're some of the only Eldar to really have proper colonies, not just either sitting on a maiden world or cleaning up a maiden world of people who live on it and then leaving.
They actually like we're not going to we're not going to rebuild this empire if we don't get some people on the ground.
So they do that. And like you were saying, how they're very diplomatic.
They would know they would regularly at one point just have inquisitors housed by their families on I and in and the I believe I brought this up with the elder witness protection programs.
We will make sure no we'll give you a new identity.
It's like, let's put this hat on. They won't know you're about your ears.
We just say you have a weird diet that makes you really mean.
Yeah, it's a video. They were just like an inquisitor just live I and in for a bit. Like I said, I brought it up the last Chancellor's Regiment one of their members was in it because he just took an Eldar vehicle from I and in for a joy ride.
Like you were on a diplomatic trip, which implies a couple of things like for one, it's a regular and publicized enough occurrence that some random schmuck could just wander into an Eldar diplomatic meeting while they're, they're doing things and just steal the dude's car.
It's like a UN meeting for like world peace and all of a sudden there's a guy doing donuts in the fridge is like, what's going on.
But also that there was enough level of trust that again, some random schmuck was an instantly gunned down by 500 aspect warriors guarding the diplomat that he could get to the point where he could just steal a car.
And then he could just steal some measure of reinforcements.
So yeah, they're diplomats stoic effect they even get bonuses on the tabletop like to, you know, kind of reinforce they're just stoic resolve and the face everything.
Very, very cool dudes collect I and and by race units.
Painting yellow isn't that bad.
Why wouldn't they, why wouldn't they want a cyclonic torpedo if they painted their crate crack world bright yellow. It's just, it's just asking for it.
People like fans and I am your fan just like clasping together.
It's really not that bad. You see contrast pains honestly.
Why is the real misery paint white is hell. It really is your airbrush airbrush brothers, and there's no problem. Yeah, I'll be doing my mentors soon hopefully so I'm great.
I'm great. You get you can get airbrush on Amazon for like 70.
There's so many things back there though.
Use them, you can still use them in the airbrush you just like pop it. Yeah, you have to like you just dilute them down.
No, I didn't know. Yeah, it's kind of a pain to clean because you have to clean it every time you want to change color.
But yeah, still nice. It's really good.
We kind of need to do that with a brush to it's just that's just, you know, dip dip dip.
But yeah, that's, you know, basics of I ended, you know, probably asked this after every craft or any, any questions any queries about good old good old and then I have one which is about how is that color scheme.
And I think it's the most important question in general of our craft words.
Why is it so bright.
Because
it looks cool.
Why are space marine space marine armor so bright look at the Alpha Legion look at the 1000 sons.
Even in the early editions when they were doing all the artwork, even our then like the game was bright. Never even the giant what like yellow titans just like hello guys, the adult seem to avoid the grim dark aesthetic, though, quite heavily.
Even in some regards they proceed the grim dark to an extent. I mean, yes, there's the war and had it but then there was like a long period of just like we're having fun. Oh, no, as much as I had to be a weird thing to bring up, was it Dawn of War.
And then they had a four three trailer. You know the howling band she's in that they made, or even. Yeah, the guy who did the death of hope animation, and he put a howling howling banshee in there. And that one looks like ancient bone and so I thought like, oh man, like it looks like ancient bone armor.
I thought that'd be way cooler for the general aesthetic of the elder words like it literally looks like ancient armor rather than power rangers go go go. Personally, I love the go go power rangers armor.
Yeah, I do have. I do have a question not about this particular but is it's champagne that has the bright red and they go fast. Yes, baby. Is that where the York's get it from it like red things go faster because of them.
Totally. I don't think they've ever confirmed it but you know, or culture is stealing things from other cultures, you know, no reason that they didn't look British.
No reason I'm not saying that.
Yeah, we love tea so much even though we stole it from China, yeah it's our thing now so hang on, hang on a minute.
No reason, you know you can't assume that's where the works got it from Simon goes quite fast. Yeah, I don't like them getting clapped in the war and having them like they're quite fast.
Yeah, there's purple ones I think me Mara know my mirrors like aqua.
One of the stealthy ones and there's like, there's like in SAR, the Alton SAR is like a ruin purple.
Because like maybe 10 side craft worlds, and yet they all have less lore than like 300 successor chapters.
But they have less law than the successor chapter that has no chapter badge and one paragraph. Yeah, less than that.
The average elder creft rule has less lore than the fucking Genesis chapter.
Okay, yeah. No, that's my like just general question but I don't have anything specific to I and I think I do wish they get more prints, Uriel stuff just because he seems to get a new one.
He's so cool. Make him plastic.
Well it's not that bad but it's resin.
That's my question.
All right, with that, Beel Tan. Eli you want to do some Beel Tan lore? I feel like you've been waiting for it, take it away.
Beel Tan is probably my favorite. Them are same hand, but Beel Tan is pretty awesome. You know the Navy Seals copypasta?
Andy and Hal, do you know that?
I don't think so. All right, well I'll send it in the, I'll throw it in the Discord and I can get it.
Oh lord above.
Let's see if I can even find it.
I found it. I might be able to share it on the stream as well if I can see it.
I'm just gonna put that in general anyways, I enjoy reading.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this one for Chaz. You know I graduated top of my class in Navy Seals and I've been involved in numerous secret raids in Al-Qaeda, etc.
Beel Tan is essentially the Navy Seals copypasta guy, except every word in the copypasta is actually true.
And it's, if you gave like, you know the, I don't know what it would be, the European equivalent, but like the reserves kid, the ROTC kid in school who posts like return to tradition edits.
If you gave that guy 500 years of military training and sci-fi guns and then had him read Industrial Society and his future, then that's your average dude from Beel Tan pretty much.
Wow.
So, if you, they're the kind of guys who would get in an argument with the Imperials on who's more racist, and they would vehemently try to win that one, so.
So you're telling me these are like in-shape Redditors?
Maybe, maybe like the opposite of your average Redditor. I mean like in-shape 4-channers, I guess.
Let me put it this way, you know, like the Death Watch and their rabid hatred of Xenos comes from intense levels of indoctrination and brainwashing to get them to just despise Xenos.
That is the default state of Beel Tan.
So if you're a Xenos hater, then you'll probably appreciate Beel Tan. They kind of remind me of the Necrons.
They have a similar kind of goal as Necrons as well as they want to, you know, see the extinction and eradication of every other species in the galaxy that isn't the Eldar essentially.
Their whole thing is they want to return to the glory days of the Eldar and they're very optimistic people, so they've been staging a lot of like assaults and retaking of Maiden Worlds,
and they as they think the Maiden Worlds will be the staging point for the return of the Eldar, which they think is going to happen any day now guys.
It'll happen any day, I swear. We'll stop losing any day now.
So they're working really hard. They're all about military and tradition, so naturally they have the most aspect warriors out of anyone else as it's actually a coming-of-age ritual to walk the path of the warrior.
They also have the most Exarchs, and the Exarchs, because most craft worlds, the Seer Council is the highest place in government, but for Beel Tan, it's also shared with the Council of Exarchs called the Court of the Young King,
who they generally elect a young king who will then be sacrificed, of course, to some of the Avatar of Kain.
So if you like the Avatar of Kain on the tabletop, Beel Tan's not a bad way to go.
Let's see, I always said they worked with Yhannon after the fall, and they wrecked some chaos, but then they stopped being friends, sadly.
They have definitely the coolest armies with the most fancy tech of all the Eldar for the most part.
Their whole thing is the Swordwind, which is Baz-Ak-Kain, Baz-Ak-Kain, I believe is how you pronounce it.
The whole idea is one swift strike, complete and utter obliteration, blink of an eye type of thing, so they have lots of wave serpents and falcons, and they just zoom up and they kill you pretty much.
In 9th edition, their tabletop rules was, I think, you got to reroll a wound, and you would battle focus on a three or more, you could never roll a one or a two, so that was nice.
They're just fast guys.
One of the cooler things in their armory, one of the engines of Vaal, so super heavies, is a monofilament-like giant cannon tank thing.
The cannon has bacteria and wraith bone parasites in it that will just eat and destroy anything it touches.
Basically, they use it to cleanse the worlds, but all the other Eldar kind of hate them for that because it was originally made to more like terraform and do nice things,
and make life, but they're using it to destroy life.
It's also a walking war cry.
But to be fair, real good at getting rid of orcs and tyrants, all those scores.
Hard to have a Geneva Convention when Geneva was wiped off the map.
In their sort of life.
Andy's leaving on his favorite Eldar, how could he do such a thing?
Favorite Eldar?
That's a good one.
Andy's favorite Eldar is a dead one.
Yeah, fair.
The only good Eldar is a...
The forward spinner is what it's called.
...calls out of their stinking craft world.
We don't like your kind around here, boy.
Speaking of Andy, I guess the Imperium doesn't like the Beelzebub, obviously, but at the same time, Beelzebub does just as good of a job as killing all the other Xenos races as they do killing humans,
so they're kind of useful even though they are kind of scary at the same time.
If you're a colony on a maiden world, and it doesn't matter, maybe you've lived there for like 20,000 years,
but Beelzebub sees that as the blink of an eye, obviously, and they're going to wipe you off the face of the planet.
Every man, woman, and child, of course, because you're a human being, you're freaking inferior, vermin to them.
So, get out of here.
They do make the offer to take people away, but, you know...
It's not legit.
I don't think they're gonna... No, they will do it, but, you know, I don't think they're gonna be heartbroken if you say no.
Then they're gonna go, alright, we were hoping you would say no.
Yeah, very much.
Rolls up sleeves.
They have allied with Imperials from time to time, especially to fight orcs, because they hate orcs more than all the other Xenos,
which I think is kind of a feeling shared by most people who hate everyone in the galaxy.
But oftentimes they'll fight beside you, and then once the orcs are dead, they'll turn around and just kill you afterwards as well.
But I know that there was a time, at least I haven't read the book, but I hear about it everywhere, is that they allied with some Talarn desert razors once, I think.
And it actually went well.
There was someone with a chaos artifact on Talarn that they sought that Talarn...
They helped them secure it, and Talarn's pretty good at keeping Talarn chaos free, as evidenced by them clowning on the Iron Warriors.
Common pergarabo, El. Absolutely amazing.
Yeah, you guys, we're gonna lock this in a box for you, keep it safe, and the deserators will do.
Hey, Eli, if your wife became a Bealtown Eldar warrior, what would I do? I don't know, what would I do?
He'd be dead.
He'd get genocide.
That'd be nice, that'd be pretty cool.
But, what was I even talking about?
She looked down at him, because he's like seven foot tall. Jesus.
They do take the occasional W though, I think out of all the Eldar, Bealtan takes a lot of dubs, which is nice, it's something.
They have their little, it's like a Hall of Heroes type of place where they categorize all of the spirit stones of people who died in battle, and they categorize them by what battle they died in, and they often go to those guys for advice on stuff.
Kinda neat.
Let me see, they are...
Oh, I would say there was like a, I don't remember what it's from, but they beat ten Space Marine chapters and two whole segmentum fleets once.
Yeah, very nice. There is a little story where they outsmart the Raven Guard and kill all of them too, which is pretty cool.
So, you know, if you want Eldar that don't lose all the time, then yeah, Bealtan's pretty good.
I think, I mean, the other guys, yeah, they're not mentioned enough to win enough, I guess. Like, LA Talk just got bodied in lore, last I checked, so, well, whatever.
They are...
Great point though, that is anyone ever sad when a Raven Guard dies?
No.
Yeah, I never ever felt sad when a Raven Guard died.
You just hear people go,
The real question, Hal, is if a tree is around in the forest, or if a tree falls in the forest, no one's gonna hear it.
Does anyone write a Raven Guard book?
If there's a book that's been written and no one's about to read it, does it exist?
Just couldn't see any Space Marines in the entire book.
Wow, the Raven Guard are so good at hiding, I can't even find their lore, where is it?
Poor guys. They're still Space Marines though, so they still take more dubs than the average...
Yeah.
Raven Guard did climb on Tao.
Yeah, they did.
Climb on Bai Tao.
Yeah.
For the greater good.
Back in the day, and still nowadays, but not so much because they got blown up, but they would follow this kind of Warden's path throughout the galaxy, and they would retake Maiden Worlds and cleanse the places of all the vermin, for the Rise of the Eldar.
They were kind of like Anarchir the Traveler types.
He goes around and goes to Tomb Worlds and gets rid of all the colonists and reawakens his people and stuff.
They're very similar to that, in my opinion.
During the 13th Black Crusade, or at least around it, the Battle of Beelzehan occurred.
Scarbrand punched a hole in the webway, or not the webway, like the warp or whatever, and the mask jumped out.
And she went into the center of Beelzehan somehow. I didn't read the freaking supplement codex or whatever back then.
I'm pretty sure it's part of the Unari books, so...
Yeah, also, you couldn't pay me enough to read those things, so... Sorry.
But the mask went into the world, and she corrupted the spirit circuit with Slaanesh demons, which is the most horrific thing you could imagine if you're the poor spirits in there.
So the defenses and the wraith bone were very hard pressed and kind of already breaking.
But then the Unari showed up with Yvrain.
Yvrain kind of helped them out. She went to the world spirit center, took out the crone sword, and summoned the Incarn, which then was too much for Beelzehan to handle, and it got blown into a bunch of pieces.
But it didn't kill them all, which is nice.
They took a long time to regrow, obviously, but of all the craft worlds, they're the most optimistic, and they still took the victory for what it was, and they kind of unified quickly and got back at it.
So their craft world is more like a fleet now than an actual craft world. It's just a bunch of pieces flying together.
Didn't, when they, Unari did that, didn't they consume a huge amount of the infinity circuits, like, undead?
Yes, that also happened.
So they were probably like, thank you for saving us. You ate my grandmother, my grandfather, my mom, and you turned my mom into a weapon.
And you would have got dead too, but Slaanesh got him first.
That's a great sentence, Hal. You turned my mom into a weapon.
I mean, literally.
So yeah, she said, here, I'll save you, and then blew up the craft world. But she did save them in the end, I guess. So, you know, whatever. It worked.
It was the mask of Slaanesh, I think, just for clarification, with the demon.
Yeah, yeah, she showed up and goofed on them a little bit. It was when the mask and Scarbrand were fighting together.
This was like, I don't want to admit this, but this was like five or six or seven years ago, I'm pretty sure, that this Lord came out.
During the rise of Giliman, isn't it?
Yeah, it was, because the Unari was going on at the same time.
That is somehow almost old lore at this point, which is insane.
Giliman's been back for a hot minute, guys. He's been back for a long time.
Yeah, I know. And I haven't even, I'm still, I must be like 20 years behind at this point, because I haven't even gotten to those books at this point in time.
Seven years Giliman's been back in the Imperium.
That's insane.
I feel like the book series that gets most brushed over is the Psychic Awakening stuff. I was like, oh yeah, that exists.
Yeah, because you can't buy the books. They're not actual books, they're supplement codex.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But the lore is like, oh, it's really cool stuff.
Usually codex events still are worth something, but like Psychic Awakening, the reaction everyone had to that was, yeah, that sure was a thing.
Yeah.
They did it too quickly, I think, though.
And then they had, they've made a Fall of Cadia book now, like an actual Fall of Cadia book, and everyone said it was really, really good.
But then there's still no, how did, I think, how did the Primark come back?
Oh, he's in this supplement thing that you can't buy anymore.
The Gathering Storm.
Oh yeah.
You can't buy it.
When did the Psychic Awakening happen again? Was that like 2019, 2020?
2017, I think.
Oh my gosh.
Well, in that case, the previous major event they did in their settings was The End Times.
Yeah, I guess so.
They were probably a little bit cautious with that.
Yeesh.
Fair. Holy cow.
That's really interesting ideas.
This is, there's no good platform for the whole, like, there's a bunch of interesting, like, coinciding stories.
It's like, oh, the Great Rift, or the Psych, and the Elder, like, oh, more psychers, that's weird.
Many books. Not really.
The lore where Belasara's call meets Trazin is in the Gathering Storm supplement. Again, you can't buy it.
I managed to find a copy of it from, like, someone I know.
So, like, I was able to get that excerpt when I did, like, an old Trazin and Orokin video.
I was like, how the hell does anyone gonna find the interact, other than the game, the actual, like, Battlefield Gothic game?
There's no, like, actual way to find the interaction between the two games.
And with that one, you didn't even need to buy the supplement in the first place, you could just watch the cutscene from Battlefield Gothic.
And some of Battlefield Gothic isn't canon because Spire kills Abaddon. You're like, oh my!
It's canon in my heart.
I mean, thank god that gaming suit is just for the cutscenes, eh?
Mm-hmm.
But the whole thing is good, man.
That was, uh, that was Valorax's, like, claim to fame, just reporting the cutscenes, pretty much, I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, like, the most viewed videos are just the cutscenes.
That's funny. DJ Beast said, Eli, what would you do if your wife was a wraith knight?
Which I think is pretty funny.
The thing is, it seems like you're not doing one.
The knight-sized titan costume.
Climb on in.
Yep.
Well, unfortunately, DJ Beast, unless his wife is a twin, she can't be a wraith knight.
Oh, yeah, true.
Oh, we have a donation from Incoming Backup, a classic fella, thank you.
I am returned once more from the army, to remind thee of the existence of Boingobb.
May he forever remain crispy and delicious.
I'll see you guys around.
Thank you.
And you would be a great delicious roast or any meat.
Praise Boingobb.
The real question is, if Boingobb could consume a craft world, which one?
Like, how big is Boingobb?
Yeah, true.
Such is his might.
I just want a new Orc Warband.
The father of all squigs, for people who would never understand.
I just want a new Orc Warband that praises Boingobb and has all that iconography about him and rides squigs into battle.
That's all I want.
That'll be on our merchandise when we get around to it.
Sure.
I read some leaks.
That's how they're going to know when the emperor finally dies on the Golden Throne.
That's how they're going to plug the demon hole into Boingobb.
Eat it.
Yeah, yeah.
We need a new person to cast the Astronomicon.
Boingobb's like...
He's the real tyrannid, I find.
Exactly.
That's all I have on Beel Tan.
There's probably more, but I have not read every Eldar book.
Just a couple things.
Like you said, they got back pretty quickly after Beel Tan.
It felt like the main thing kind of blew up.
They proceeded to learn no amount of humility.
And if anything, even though their numbers were reduced because they either died and were eaten by Slemesh or
taken by the Inari, it just made them focus more on smaller surgical strikes.
And they've only gotten better at it, especially because now they're not just one craft world.
They can take a whole fleet and go anywhere with it.
So now they're even more obnoxious if you're an imperial commander and suddenly this dude is telling you to evacuate the planet now.
So they're not like the Death Star, they're like the Rebel fleet now.
Yeah, except the Rebel fleet, if it was like not episode nine.
Yeah, it's everyone.
Oh my God.
They're just regular people.
Feel free to blow your load now, guys.
Look, it's all of these cool ships.
Oh, yeah.
So silly.
They've got pretty close relations with the Exodites because they are so upset defending maiden worlds.
That oftentimes Exodites will like fill in their ranks to kind of make sure Beeltawn, if they're, you know, short a couple Eldar, they'll give you a hand.
They are basically the only Eldar you could hope that could hope to wage something like a conventional war.
They obviously, you know, they prefer the sword or sword wind and the sudden strikes.
But if need be, they could, you know, like build fortifications, hold down, bunker down, that sort of thing.
They prefer not to because it's just not how the Eldar wage war.
But given their numbers and everything, they're the only ones that probably could.
Yeah, I was going to say they fight a lot less conservative than the rest of the Eldar do.
Yeah, they're a lot less scared of dying.
Dying in battle is how they the best way to die in their opinion.
Yeah.
Not the biggest fans of the Inari.
Can't blame them.
Recent events included.
Yeah.
And I think that's I believe that's Beeltawn.
Yeah.
Now, next we got a I mean, actually, I'm going to go out of order.
I had to get Ali talk out of the way.
They're not fun.
Five minutes.
I do not care for all I talk, despite being one of the they're blue and yellow instead of yellow and blue like I am.
Wow.
They're totally different things, guys.
I swear they've done it in the wrong order.
They are the strictest of all the Eldar craft worlds with the past system and discipline.
And they're they are all about it and arrogant to the point that it makes most of the other Eldar that have to interact with them, tell them to shut up.
And yeah, it's like also like they're so strict to the point that most of the Eldar who are bored on Ali talk will want to leave Ali talk because it's so like strict and repressive with how close you need to follow the caste system,
which means short of basically people like the Harlequins are certainly really high up inquisitors.
They have the best like scouts and information gathering network in the galaxy.
They've got Rangers across all of the galaxy, feeding them information.
They've got tons of Corsairs harassing fleets that might come to harm the craft world because they all do still, you know, Ali talk is their home.
But for the love of God, it's like they do not want to be home for longer than they have to be.
So they've they've got a lot of people out there, which on the plus side, yeah, you know, they've got like these probably the best warning systems in the galaxy with all the information they get on the downside.
Very small army because everyone born in the craft world thinks it's boring and how is just stuffy and suffocating.
So when they when they fight, especially against the Imperium, usually does not go super hot,
which is another one of those things where I'm going to deliver you pure unfiltered copium on this.
And, you know, in the the magical background lore of things or, you know, it's like where it calls the tiered.
It's the greatest threat. And then we see 10 unbroken tiered defeats in a row.
They theoretically have a pretty decent record against other factions in the galaxy because they are all Rangers and Corsairs.
It's Imperial commanders out of all the Eldar like it's like fighting Ali talk is like fighting ghosts.
They're there one minute and then your commander has a hole in his head and then they're gone.
On the other hand, in the actual lore events we get, it is Ali talk getting beat the hell up by everyone and shoved into a locker for being big, stupid nerds.
There was a was it was it was one event or a pretty small amount of, you know, space marine guardsmen and like the mechanic is like it was a lot of like different factions of the Imperium involved.
But relatively speaking, not that many of them just kind of show up and just start smashing the craft world to bits and pieces.
It's just sucks. It sucks to be out. If you play Ali, I don't know how.
I'm sorry. It doesn't work.
It's very reminiscent of the whole Dark Eldar.
The whole of comrade basically got screwed by one Salamander shit or something.
Yeah, because the Eldar are not allowed to win.
Because they get, it's like one Salamander shit which has like probably less than 100 space marines in it and all of comrade was like, this is a problem.
We can't deal with this. You know, I mean, space marines in their corridors.
I think they also got ganged up on by all of the Necron characters.
I think that was a late talk, which is unfortunate. I think it's worth saying that they are the army that they do have is really good though because they're so like into the paths that they're very perfectionist.
So they have some of the best aspects.
I feel like.
Yeah, and for what it's worth like that battle I was talking about like the Eldar to Imperium death ratio is like one to 1000 or some shit like that.
It's just the Eldar do not do wars of attrition they lose those pretty, pretty hard and the Imperium.
It could be one to a million and they would consider it a resounding win.
A comment by engineer of all he says late talk save the Crimson Fists from extinction though traitors gorge in rinse world.
Yeah, I remember that actually.
That's a little that's a codex story and they were all like ominous and they were like, but we'll get you next time.
Why leave my boys alone Pedro's nice.
They have a fair enough. They have a great fleet as well. That's the thing.
Yeah, yeah, like it's like part of it like the corsairs and the
This is not this crowd water feels like very good. This feels like the energy of it sure is a craft one.
It's cool when you read it in the codex and you got all the pretty pictures and stuff.
I swear it's definitely a crop.
Undoubtedly, that crap isn't there.
And it looks nice engineer of all says it's the.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, the path of the elder series is about elder from craft or Lila talk.
So, hey, one of like two elder focus books in existence is all about them.
Yeah, probably.
The cope the coping of like just please more elder level please.
I will also say I have built in uncharitable feelings about them.
Because when I was first getting the war hammer was like, damn, I like I ended a lot, but I keep confusing them and I like talks color scheme.
So what I was.
They betrayed you in some.
Yeah, so it was like, I like talk. They're the blue and yellow. I've heard yellows a nightmare to paint.
I only have to paint a little bit of yellow.
And then I found out no, I actually had to paint almost entirely yellow.
I blame all I talk for that.
Bastards. But that's unfortunately not a canon reason for dislike.
So we'll bring up something we don't like in one.
We don't have a legitimately good reason.
Yeah, I think Colin you you rap on the alpha legion.
I fully consider that a legitimate reason.
No, you're not going to get you.
What's your legitimate grievance with them?
I don't think their mysteries are good mysteries. I think it all ends in but maybe we were lying to you.
They should have had one author do all of their books and kept it at that.
I think it does make sense though.
Imagine if I ended this podcast.
I was just gonna say with one war for doing all the books, you do have things like the Salamander Torres heresy books.
So it's a no, it can be a bad thing.
Imagine how if I ended this podcast, the last thing I told everyone was actually maybe I just lied to you about everything else.
I just said that's an alpha legion book.
Thanks. At least I would make it at least that would give it a place they can make more of it.
You can already make more of it.
There are five million craft words that have two pages of lore tops.
The alpha legion is to give you five million pages and go.
Yeah, but like we live.
What if what if not true? What if unreal?
Yeah, I just like legion.
What's your hot take though? What's the thing you don't?
I don't know. I thousand sons, I guess. But I do.
I don't like hate them. I just don't think they're that cool.
And Death Guard, Death Guard and Thousand Sons.
I'm not a big fan. I don't hate them. I think everything in Warhammer is cool.
But like, especially the New Age like Death Guard look, I just don't like it.
I think they look silly and cartoony.
Forty thousand sons is nothing compared to thirty thousand sons.
You asked me my rational hatred.
Like I don't mauled every time Korn is brought up for no other reason than my first Warhammer game and got bodied by him on the tabletop.
I got world eater.
I just like Vulcan.
That's going to get any hate from people though.
It's just because Vulcan's whole thing is like he's kind of nice.
And then there's like there's no depth to him really.
They're really like the dude is a puddle.
Like in terms like I like that like little moat.
My favorite part about Vulcan is the fact that him hugging Dawn and Dawn being uncomfortable with it.
Because that shows more about Grogu or Dawn being like, yeah, sure, come in brother.
Awkwardly tapping him on the shoulder.
It's a very aesthetic puddle you would see in like a nice art painting, but it is a puddle.
I like Salamanders though because Vulcan again is just...
Thank you, Andy.
I just don't...
You know, I was I used to rant about it.
I was like a massive size pal.
But the problem with Vulcan is he doesn't have like a thing in his Legion where like there's a fatal flaw.
Like the Raven Guard, even though they have barely any lore, they have one, which is basically like some of them marines get super depressed.
They do have a fatal flaw.
It's called the Horus Heresy book series.
Yeah, true.
It's called His Fun.
But everyone's like, even Gilliman's Legion had like, oh, they had a group which is like, they're a bit too, you know, these are a bit too crazy these guys.
And we only use them as like, yeah.
All the Salamanders are like, we are all noble at heart.
There's not one of them that's like, yeah, I kind of like to kill that Eldar child.
I think they have lures that they're so willing to just like martyr themselves.
It's like, guys, could you not just throw yourselves in front of these civilians every charge you get?
We are losing a lot of men.
They weren't even in danger.
The Salamander.
They were like two meters away.
The Vulcan Primarch book is him hammering on the forge for 10 hours going, can I go into battle yet, father?
No, not yet.
Can I?
And at the very end he goes, yes.
And that's it.
They've been tired.
The poor, I just, it's bad.
The poor Salamanders and like Vulcan have no like struggle.
It's like, oh, sorry.
We're here to talk about Eldar and then to be fair, he did, he did murk an Eldar child.
He did do that.
That was the best part.
They should have explored that more.
The fact that a guy like that, he was meant to be so kind and nice, could falter so horribly.
Could just torch and shot him.
Isn't that his most interesting part?
If there was no Vulcan child moment, would you even, you know what I mean?
Like, is he even interesting?
It's all people ever talk about when they mention him, to be fair.
Exactly.
He's nice and he burned a kid.
Yeah.
The game of the old Iwo Jima.
Jesus.
It's like the, be nice to 1000 kids and nobody bats an eye.
Burn one child and all of a sudden you're the child burner.
Poor Vulcan.
Oh, that reminds me of the whole, like, you know, listen, if I play one football game a year, am I a footballer?
It's like, no.
Okay.
I'm a kid.
You fuck one goat.
And suddenly everyone is all judgmental.
Andy, I would just like to say you made another mistake with the poll because you're implying anyone's a fan of the end.
There's got to be at least a couple of them, surely.
It's not that bad.
I refuse to believe that human being exists.
See, said, damn it, that child was a hundred years old, maybe, kinda, it's possible a lot younger, maybe 50, maybe older, maybe younger.
Well, actually, no, I remember, I remember having a comments in one of my old YouTube videos of somebody like vehemently defending the end time saying it was beautiful lore and it was like perfect and amazing.
It's like, oh my gosh, I don't know if that guy's doing okay.
Rarest pepper to say Hell's Reach showed the Salamanders' flaw. They refused to risk civilians by going on the offensive causing more long-term death.
I don't think that was their flaw.
Is that a flaw that they're nice?
That wasn't their flaw. That was meant to show the flaw of the Black Templars, but the Black Templars were willing to sacri- they were willing to possibly let all the civilians die just to kill one orc leader.
Whereas the Salamanders- it didn't necessarily- it's a good point, but that's not like the Salamanders' fatal flaw. That was the Black Templars are the exception to the rule.
You know, not every Space Marine Legion would do what the Black Templars did.
Next craft one, I think is-
I think we're done with our talk.
I hope that guy from your channel has testicular torsion.
What does that say?
Vulcan lives in brackets. She doesn't.
Poor Eldar Tild.
Caleb Collins here with a slander. He says Colin has admitted to finding the End Times sounding cool when he first read it.
Yeah, because I didn't know what Warhammer was yet.
Yeah, I was 14 when it happened and I thought it was cool.
But then they got rid of the cool army that I just made and so then I didn't find it so cool anymore.
Malekith, where are you?
Yeah, literally.
But yeah, next one, Saimhan.
You can safely assume going forward that these Eldar are all a little bit more loose with the whole unending discipline shtick that the rest of them are all about.
Like Beeltaan, this is the other major craft world that is not ruled by its seer council.
Instead, they have a clan based society and the clan chieftains all cast a vote on major matters of the craft world.
The seer council they have does have one vote and obviously any chieftains, you know, if they want advice or some future seeing done, they're free to go ask the seer council for some advice and guidance.
But in terms of like practical influence, seer council on Saimhan is not nearly as influential as it is on the other craft worlds.
They're not, I said they're not as strict as the other Eldar. They're not the dark Eldar. They're not complete degenerates. They're not evil and ruining everything.
They're more laid back is how I like to think about it. They're content to just go with the flow.
They don't, you know, they don't fall into vice like the former Eldar. They do still have the path system and they are still, you know, determined to not fall back into what the rest of their race did.
But they're, you know, also not limiting themselves from, you know, the little joys of life like the rest of the Eldar are.
This does cause some level of distrust from the other Eldar who see them as barbarians. But, you know, it means that I at least I would argue they probably have the most pleasant life out of any of the craft worlds.
If you had to pick one to live on, Saimhan would probably be a good bet.
I'd also like to apologize to Dreadanon who taught us how to say all of these words properly and I don't remember them.
That's my bad. He's pretty chill about it. I mean, I did mention like I sent him a message while going I'm going to reference one of them in a video. How do you pronounce these like you can pronounce them however you like.
It's your video. Yeah, he's very chill. He's very nice. I just remember because we had a body told us that I was like, fuck, I can't remember.
That sounds really cool. I wish I could remember any of the inflections or even how it was spelled or how it sounded. I don't know. It's just magically. I can remember how it's spelled.
Well, yeah, I'm not a literary.
I'm not sure that's technically how it's spelled. Fair enough. They will settle any issues or disputes amongst each other with with a duel to first blood, which usually doesn't result in death but it's not necessarily an unexpected thing if someone dies and they
they're not happy when that happens but they're like, hey, it's a valid way to win the duel first blood. You cut a guy's head off. You did get first blood, presumably. So, you know, it does happen.
Yeah, and they're one of their biggest thing is clan honor.
The reason they have all these clans is that before the paths were implemented but after, you know, slanish slanish all over the galaxy and the elder in particular, they decided they would, like, restructure the society based around clans in order to, like,
focus people's energies on something other than rampant hedonism.
So that has kind of ended up with a clan honor being the end all be all, but not lame like over in battle to fuck the clients. I was just trying to find something because dreadnought commented on a post of mine and I'm not long ago, asking about questions you want to ask about
warhammer law, and he said, what's anger on his problem, slash question mark question mark question mark.
And I remember that my reply was inflation.
He commented on my last community posts because all he said was return the slab.
We need him back on for their tier list or something.
But yeah.
With their whole you know obsession about honor and everything.
It's usually honor amongst the clans which is kind of result of them being pretty isolated about galactic affairs at large, they'd instead rather duel each other just stick to their own thing.
Enjoy life or, you know, race each other go fast.
Not really concerning themselves with the rest of reality, if they can help it, which is why their insulin nature and laid back latitude or attitude. Good Lord.
And it does kind of let me let them get along a little bit better with you know the Imperium and other races across the galaxy.
Not, not much better they're not I and didn't actively going out of the way use diplomacy, but they're also not be Elton who see you have moved next door and are going to glass the neighborhood because of it.
Damn.
They, you know, they just they do their thing.
They they're actually a decent bit of lore about them because between they were both on vigilance and if you remember that a elder Germans box it was them versus the chaos.
They'd like the hell Drake the new rate Rangers actually decent bit of recent lore surprisingly.
Great rift in the Nari when that came around.
Oh pardon me skipped a bit.
Simon also fully returns the like little bit of mistrust that the other elder have for them, just because they think they're all boring and stuffy and dig it over themselves.
They'll work with each other when need be but you know all the way for example, when all the way starts pulling it's you know, zin all seeing future mystic crap, they will tell them to go to hell and quit using them like they do not have any patience for that crap.
Anyway, back to great rift in the Nari it, it, as with all elder it shook things up.
They, of course, did their best to ignore it at first as they do everything that goes on in the world could found out they couldn't really do that.
A Nurgle invasion led to them having to jettison a decent chunk of the craft world so I know you were kind of asking earlier how that had to just had to get rid of it, which, incidentally, smell.
Yeah, one it smelled like, you know, dog.
Two, I think there was like some more about like Eldar like insects or Nurgle stuff coming out of that, which will of course never get a model because chaos you know it would be too fun to watch so not getting that.
And Harry the comments, calling out Eli.
Poor Eli.
I'm a sleepy guy. Okay, so you know Eli works hard, very hard.
YouTube marriage is doing his studies and everything and getting ripped. It's a lot of work.
Boy. Yeah. They also don't end up being the biggest fans of the NRA either because while your brain was in a meeting with them, Drezard, the dark elder Phoenix Lord guy found his way through to sign on through a portal that somehow no one on the craft world knew about
and killed a whole lot of important people on it. So anyone that supported the NRA lost a bit of influence as a result of that. And also they lost a whole lot of important Eldar, and, you know, the craft world.
Not great. Thank you, Drezard.
He's just there.
Yeah, being
there was one, it was Simon, they were fighting against necrons on a planet which was when we got that fun little lore tidbit about the vault of slanish demons that had been there since the war in heaven, which is sure a thing that I wish games workshop didn't add but it is what it is.
So they ended up teaming up with the necrons to hold back the incursion and they even sent a couple seers they have to once they had everything cleaned up to keep the vault secure.
You know, it's pretty cool them. It seems like you know overall they're happy to work with anyone if that's the fight against chaos or some other threat, which is pretty neat.
They were also on vigilance which long story short because I'm not going to sum up the entirety of the vigilance campaign right now.
They went there to attack some chaos cultists and were mistaken for the dark Eldar by a some Imperial nobles and guard officers because the dark elder had just been there earlier attacking guardsmen.
And they opened fire on the Eldar even when they were like no, we're not we're not dark Eldar look at the spice.
We don't have any.
The fight ran off a bit. Marneas Calgar met with them and and in exchange for the elders help in defeating chaos and no hand in the orcs and everything.
He would take all of the officials who ordered all those elder to be shot at, put them in a building and lock the door behind them and just told Simon to go nuts.
So,
one brutally murdered batch of Imperial officials later.
They started doing donuts in front of the orcs and lured them into the orc line or into the chaos lines and helped deliver a Imperial like torpedo into a like directly into Avedon's flagship I believe on one of their ships.
So hey, they're pretty chill to work with turns out. They might ask to murder some of your leaders but it's the Imperium your leaders are probably incompetent anyway.
So, there was also like I said that Eldritch Omens, a little bit.
That whole thing was chaos warpsmith wanted some, he like the world spirit of a maiden world for, you know, dark evil demon things elder souls are nice and juicy he could probably make some pretty potent soul, like,
be like what's the chaos dragon thing you don't like.
The hell drink hell drink yeah you probably make some good hell drinks out of the elder souls he dopered.
Sam Han went to deal with them and that you know, a decent cost but given you know I actually, I've got the Eldritch open books, not that like that lower thing.
Not as much cost as you would think for the elder it wasn't 99% of them got killed it was just a solid victory. Not great. But hey, not bad.
Nice little things.
Wild Riders are their jet bike riders and pretty much every.
Everyone who is not a chieftain who has to become an autark is a wild rider, they love their jet bikes they love their speed on the battlefield they are all about speed vipers the wind, wind bikes all that good stuff.
Even more so than any other like even BL Tan because you know BL Tan does it with sudden strikes across the planet. Sam Han just has 5 million jet bikes doing donuts in front of your lines at all moments and it's really annoying.
Clans are those clans.
The clans in there are pretty autonomous they have the right to you know partake or refuse to partake and pretty much anything the craft world does. Although in practice, if something big happens they're probably all going to get on in it because they need that glory.
May have may have inspired the orcs to think red is faster.
They're all probably the elder you most want to have a party with they're pretty chill they seem like they'd be pretty happy to have you as long as you're not a dick.
I think we should say when the necrons went to sleep late talk where the ones who were going around blowing up two worlds and looking for them to kill them. That's another thing of late talk to.
Oh no get rid of these weeds. Guys, I like talk people care about us. Oh yeah the the battle with necrons lords fought against late talk is when orc and the diviner out farseer the farseers with math and then just like mess up their prophecy.
I love I love when the only thing my faction isn't allowed to work. Thank you. I love the NRI trilogy. I love psychic. I love El Dorad. There's a new same hand wild rider book that apparently I've only heard like horrible things about it.
I don't know if you've read it or not. No I haven't I didn't know it existed probably because the only news about it is bad. It doesn't exist if you haven't read it.
It's called wild rider and I've only seen like me I've my only knowledge is like the memes that I've seen about it.
I just just want an elder book to be okay. Okay books are fine you read them you go that was a decent book and then you move on with your life. They did the same thing with Tao where they gave it to Phil Kelly.
Yeah, Phil Kelly writes all good xenos. He writes all the farseid books and that guy just does a great job so just give it to someone who's good. And he wrote the older Eldar Codexes too so. Stop giving elder books to people who hate the elder.
I just like the you know the bit in the Simpsons where it's the kid being beaten up and that's just Colin they're publishing new books it's like stop he's already dead.
Grab someone from the age of Sigmar elf teams they clearly love what they're doing let them write an elder book.
Yeah for real. Geez.
No more Saimhan now I was feeling good about Saimhan I like talking about them and then you had to drop that on.
I think there's a cool bit where they're like briefly in the Iron Hands novels where they end up fighting Kata-chan jungle fighters and then basically the Eldar goes like damn you're actually like pretty decent for a human and then like he's like slices arm of wild
hearts holding a grenade and then the guy still fights he's like he's like kind of impressed but then he's like you know but he's still a human and just like gone.
They're sharp. They represent sometimes.
This is like an Ultramarine one where he gets his head cut off at the top in that Hammer and Bolter episode where I come in which clan it is where they just don't want to think about that Hammer and Bolter.
Anyway, both way.
The craft world, whose entire lore is just Eldritch.
I don't see it to be fair.
Fair enough.
There, there's, I've seen, there's somehow both the most and least famous craft world. Most, again, because like I said, their lore is Eldred. Eldred is hard carrying the Eldar race and Ulthwein particular on his back.
He's, he's, he's 40k techless just not nearly as competent.
So, long story short, Ulthwein was one of the, you know, the last craft worlds to leave the Eldar Empire.
Like I said earlier they, they didn't quite get out of the way fully it's like you know they got clipped, they didn't get t boned by you know by the truck barreling towards them and they got clipped.
They weren't instantly devoured so you know they got that going for him but like I said stuck close to the Eye of Terror, which means that at any given moment they're either fighting chaos or preparing to fight chaos the whole craft world was covered in battle scars.
They just don't have time to repair it properly.
Just generally not great like the first thing is let's say you know prior to the Great Rift, you're a chaos based marine leaving the Eye of Terror, you're either going to run head first into Ulthwein or Cadia.
So, this has led to, you know, they're trying, they have become all focused on like the paths of the seer as a result, so they can predict when these chaos attacks are coming and figure out the best way to, you know, get through it, you know what
great minds think alike, you know, two heads are better than one, all these seers coming together looking at fate and figuring out how do we not get murdered, which on the downside means that they do not have that many other aspect paths, not because they're particularly underpopulated
compared to other craft worlds, but because just most of the ones who might become like a, you know, a fire dragon or something like that or a warlock or a farseer.
But to counteract this, they're the only craft world that has a standing army, the Black Guardians, they're a proper like army unlike the rest of the other Eldar Guardians who are just militia called up to fight in need.
They train, they do all that stuff. Everyone on Ulthwein can fight. In some ways, they have the most allies out of any Eldar. They'll work alongside pretty much anyone short of, you know, chaos in the Tyranids,
Imperium, other Eldar, probably even the orcs if they could somehow convince them to not just fight the pointy heads, work with anyone. In other ways, because they're all manipulative bastards, no one really likes working with them.
They know that probably in the long term, their actions will result in lives being saved. They're just so insufferable. They will frequently just not tell you they're working to help everyone, they will not even inform you there's any like fate reading going on, they'll just show me like, yes, this is what we're going to do.
And then they turn around and start doing something else because they foresaw X needed to happen. And you just, you don't need to know about X, don't worry about it, bro.
They're the typical Eldar to me.
Simon would not be happy with you saying that.
Bastards.
They're the kind of guys who put likes on prank videos on YouTube.
We don't make them.
The model of their craft world is dude trust me bro.
They have, they do have some, you know, more permanent allies though, like, out of all of them navigator house Bellis Arias, a navigator house for the space wolves.
Early on, and I mean like M 31 I believe it was they helped house Bellis Arias out of a bit of a rough spot, reverse their fortunes.
And in return, the navigators gifted them seven coins.
Anytime an elder from both way presents a navigator, you know of that house with the coin, they drop, whatever the hell they're doing and help that elder out with whatever task is asked of them, which has been done five times so those last two they better make it count.
That's pretty good. Imagine if it was like the. I was gonna say could you imagine if it was like a really pressing thing, and you left the coin at home, like you like the going to get a flight and you forget your passport and you get to the gate you like.
Oh no.
I turn into eating your craft.
Trust me.
Like Collins said earlier, trust me bro.
Also, I swear I had the coin. Yeah.
So I guess Bellis Arias is, I think, because after the space for was booked around it's like basically the biggest navigator house in the Imperium so it's actually pretty ridiculously powerful. It's also have like a space wolf on a guard because they have such close ties they're like, yeah, we send a couple of our guys to you just to protect you because you're that important.
So space walls could be forced to work with.
I said, from what from what I read they try and keep it on the down low a bit.
The space holes in the dark about it.
Which house bill sorry still around and hasn't been executed for consorting with Zeno so there's an opportunity here, Colin you could have a book right, it'll be a space will book but it'll have the way in it, and then sorry, and then you'll have a moment where they begrudgingly
like the space wolf gets the elder drunk on me odd, and he almost has to have like a liver transplant, and that'd be a fun way to get some elder law in there somehow.
Good time to have my balls.
I'm assuming you know you could have that like for a knife here you're actually pretty cool.
Just about just in craft was in general, do they look like their own unique thing or they sort of reminiscent of like the old elder cities because essentially they're just floating cities right.
I'm sure when the fall was happening, they got as much stuff out of the, like the fall as they could, like, you know, are any relics they might be able to snout or scrounge up obviously people.
That being said, like, like the craft worlds. They were merchant vessels that would go centuries if not longer at a time without any contact with other elder between the worlds.
So, if they did look like elder cities it would probably be like ancient cities, even by elder standards because like I said like they like craft world is built, it's not going to see anyone else for 1000 years, and then another 1000 you know on and on and on until
the fall happens.
That's cool because to their equivalent then that's like for us if there was a ship just in the ocean that was filled with the architecture of like ancient Rome.
Yeah. And I was like, so even to like elder later they were like, oh that's kind of neat, you know I mean like that's kind of, you know, whenever I, whenever I think of craft world I think of mass effects are what they call the aquariums, where like
their whole species was completely decimated by AI. So then they fled on these big flotillas and they just roam the galaxy on these massive ships.
And they're like, we can't breathe air outside of our in biro suits because we're our immune system so weak but it's like a similar thing for they just nomadic they roam around it's like, if we lose one of those ships, it's a bad day.
It's a really bad day. That's what it is yeah you lose one craft world it's.
Yeah.
Let's see where was that.
I would say their, their history is like for every time they hurt the Imperium pretty horribly. They also have saved it.
For example, and this is again, both ways Eldred Eldred is the one you can blame Armageddon on the orcs were going to threaten a small elder craft world.
He redirected them straight to Armageddon and led to all that fun stuff happening.
And it's like, poor Eric, but on the plus side, he's the reason the last wall doctrine the Imperial fist rail to get together he calmed the warp and allowed them to just all meet up at Terra, which, by the way, pretty goddamn awesome he told the entire
chill the hell out for a bit.
But yeah, for their part with the Inari very mixed bag with things.
You know, on the one hand, Eldred was the one to bring that about, and especially in all the way you don't get higher up on the totem pole and I'll dread.
On the other hand, the ritual was not a success, and in order to perform the ritual because originally it was every elder dies, then we get any ad.
He went to a moon of basically psychic crystals, after having stolen all of the seers he could from every craft world.
He just went into the infinity circuit grab their soul stones and said hey, I'm going to use you to make the god of the dead.
So, they weren't too happy with him they were going to execute them but they banished him instead.
And a large chunk of the craft world went with him because they still believe Eldred was, you know, he's, he's the mover and shaker the elder he's the one who's going to get stuff done.
Let's go follow on, let's join his exiles.
At one point he came back to rescue it from chaos and then promptly left again because he's still exiled.
And overall he, Ulthwe is now free of the Eye of Terror, they can move a little bit farther because it's the great rift everywhere.
On the downside, they are as with pretty much every elder after the Inari stuff happened, a little bit diminished, still looking forward, they're still all about you know their future seeing thing though.
None of them really had a great central change.
And yeah, that is, they're also kind of in danger as well. Currently, the whole thing is in the nightlaws trilogy they intervene with the nightlaws Legion because they believe a great prophecy about a prophet of the eight lesion will unite all the war bands and eventually
cause catastrophe on all the way, so they basically are preparing for a massive confrontation with all the nightlords for, as you can probably guess, no reason other than it was prophesized.
But they also the fact that they intervened, put them on the nightlords map on their radar. So that's the only reason like they are basically the architects of their own destruction.
Oh, yeah, since all the ways all about you know the cycles and stuff they're the biggest victims of that were GW writers think they're being very clever when they go home what they caused it by their own hands.
The 50th time we do this plotline is still original.
Look, we blew up an avatar of pain to the greatest elder hits.
Especially with that nightlaws trilogy but it just reminds me of Star Wars prequels this is like the prophecy of the chosen was like, that's the wrong one it's his son in it.
Oh no. So basically, the Jedi Council are off way and Samuel L Jackson is ill grad.
How different would the galaxy Anakin was made Jedi Master.
All good.
We'd be sitting pretty still be the craft world where they had to work with comrade to do the, this, the elders had to do that massive bomb.
And they like had to sacrifice if I think that was I and then fire heart.
But the massive bomb where the dark elder could have activated it remotely but like,
well I think if it's what I'm thinking of the dark elder couldn't use it, because all of like the old elder and psychos. Yeah, and the dark elder, they've left their psych aspects of trophy.
So, but they're not going to give it to the craft world elder because it's a big bomb the dark elder are selfish at the best of times.
But they did eventually like give it to I and and who activated it and then promptly put it away because the elder do not like to mess around with their super weapons.
Yeah, I was gonna say something else and I don't remember.
I think it was about all the way, they're going to get it. It was something about all the way and you know probably yeah they were going to get it.
Thank you all dread for being all the old way or truly you are carrying it on your back.
There's a luganeth that's a craft world that I think they just made up for Fabius bile to destroy basically probably.
I like a couple other craft world I just briefly took notes on the big five or the one that will do anything that matter.
I guess you know there is Alton SAR, which is where Maugen Ra comes from. They got trapped in the, in the warp.
They didn't quite get out of the eye of terror but somehow didn't get instantly devoured.
And then 10,000 years later, Maugen Ra pulled it out of the warp.
I don't know how that one works. Anyone has any suggestions? I would love to hear it.
Maybe not. Maybe like no time had passed them at all. They were like, Jesus, we've been in this little thing for five minutes.
Like, oh, thank God we're safe. And then it's like, yo, you got maybe.
Marine tactic from the codex of studies. I will just do something crazy for fun.
Maugen Ra is the only elder that is allowed to have W's, it seems.
I don't even mean how he still found them. I'm just like, how did he get it out?
Fair enough. He is built different.
Yeah. So yeah, there's that. All of the Eldar think they're cursed because they're thinking,
should be able to spend that long in the warp and still be fine. What's going on there?
So they never, they never take off their helmets and they only speak in whispers.
So something, whether or not they're cursed, they were lost in the warp for 10,000 years.
Something went down and it's not generally not super outgoing elder as it were, because, you know, everyone else thinks they're cursed.
So they probably get on really well with the car caradons like, you do the whispering thing too. Yeah, we do the whispering thing.
That's cool. You're also lost in the void. Yeah, we are too. We're cool. Nice.
They're actually pretty close to Terra, the craft world. Although I believe the reason I don't think it's ever stated, but I'm guessing the what they can move about.
They didn't. Well, yeah. One, one they can move and two, the Imperium is probably content with letting them sit there because they're like, well, they pretty clearly don't like chaos.
You just kind of sit there and eat any black legion war bands coming this way for us, will you?
But yeah, that's really them. There's a one of the other ones I wrote down.
There's my Mira, which is the opposite of Altenzar. They think all of the other elder are cursed and they were the last true ones left.
Really not much to say more about it. Did they get on a boat called the Mayflower and then they decided to leave?
There's a. You may look. I know that you may look.
M Y E L O C.
Yumbra. Look, whatever. I don't know. I apologize for that pronunciation.
What is that name? Yeah, they're they're what I like to call the Forge World Craft World because their whole thing is Eldar Titans.
So if you're playing them, Forge World loves you.
There's Il-Kath.
Their name translates into Knowledge of Blood, which is, you know, that goes pretty hard.
They're all about bone singers.
And then there's the final craft order I'd like to bring up only because of the name Crud-o-Rak.
It is a craft world that is sounds like an STD. What is that? Probably their lore.
They're from the Rogue Trader game.
They got lost. No one knows what the craft world is.
Oh, no.
The Ranger companion, I guess, from the Rogue Trader games from there.
So neat. Neat to see they didn't they gave us a new craft world and just copy I and in our old way.
Yeah. They also mentioned the Black Library, like the actual.
Yeah, I guess it is a craft world.
So it's a brief mention for now, at least.
The Black Library is a craft world.
It has the largest repository of knowledge in reality inside of itself, especially on chaos.
And it's guarded by the Harlequins and the last remaining Eldar God who hasn't been handicapped in some way, Kegarak.
The Hunk God, Clown God.
People keep trying to break in. Yeah, it doesn't really.
It doesn't really work because the Harlequins alongside Balgunra are the only Eldar allowed to take anything resembling a W.
And it's in the Webway.
So you first you have to get in the Webway, then you have to go through the Webway without getting murdered by its either its defenses or a chaos incursion.
Then you need to get past the Harlequins, which is probably something you just need to kind of always consider.
Then you need to get past a God.
I think the Black Library even has its own like special defenses that even the Eldar are like, I have no idea what the hell this thing is.
It's a bit cursed, isn't it? There's something not quite right with it.
Yeah, like, like, probably because one, it has so much chaotic knowledge, probably something went down, went down.
Hello.
And two,
He needs emotional support talking about all this Eldar stuff.
Oh my God.
Poor man. That is a loving life or loving wife, make fun of him.
The Black Library itself is, a few people have been invited to it, haven't they though?
Like, yeah, there's a Ephraels Stern, I think that Sister of Battle lady.
There's some Inquisitors are allowed every now and then if the Harlequins are sure that they're not going to fall to chaos.
But for the most part, everyone who tries to break in is never heard from again or you're Azak Aramand and you're a named character.
So yeah, banished constantly.
He's trying, he's like a Scooby-Doo, but this is like, he's a gosh darn kid.
And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those damn Harlequins.
Are you meddling clowns and your stupid god too?
Didn't he bring all of Aramand's friends back for a second and then kill them all again?
Yevrein did.
And then she went, ehhh.
And she shunted them into the warp.
She resurrected two Rubrit Marines and Aramand went, holy hell, that's amazing.
And then she threw them into the warp and he was like, no.
And he just ran after them.
And I say to that, El Bozo.
Stop trying to break into the Black Library and it won't happen.
Every once in a while, like one Rubrit Marine gets revived.
And then, so every time he's about to give up, like one Rubrit Marine gets revived and he's like, Aramand, what the hell's going on?
He's like, you're alive.
Guess we've got to keep trying again, boys.
Time to kill 10 million people.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try...
Truly is the Rocky Balboa.
Jesus.
He never gives up poor Aramand though.
He should.
Is there any other crawforges like that, like, is it just mostly the ones that are named and there's nothing?
It's just like random...
like I just I will admit I did I did a bit of a sin I pulled up the wiki for
some of these no problem using the wiki sometimes telinar let me let me let me
just read you the opening paragraph is a minor craft world of the a seriati they
could not think of a better opening than to say they're a craft world oh good
another big ring levels it truly is a crop they have good relations with
alaita oh fucking wonderful dude it is it is the alliance of mid that's just
like the entry this space marine chapter is known for being brutal and very
courageous yeah did you mean all of them yeah they have an affinity what oh I
misread I thought I missed I thought it said the elder of you know telinar have
an affinity with the elder of telinar is like oh I'd fucking hope they like the
harlequins which is also a nothing because every even the dark elder like
the other like this this is like this is what the crapples that aren't the main
ones are it's hey guys they like the clowns they're there really is
successor chapter slop sure is a craft world energy is so high there was a
malintide that got eaten by genes no they get eaten by gene stealers that
neurolector or neuro sabotage didn't they do one of my lint eyes yeah one of
yeah it was a one of the elders psych or brain things ate their infinity circuit
and then blew up the crap for basically didn't blow it up the gray Knights
jeans to the W common isn't it that was that was a completely different one
there was a craft world that I don't remember the name of my bad pimp it
basically just left the galaxy like they they dipped out early and this isn't the
inari books which I think is another reason I don't want to remember the name
of this fucking crap although this is one of the few cool things they had
because they had no contact they had nothing you know pet no pet system no
spirit stones now they found gene seals they're like well the hive minds
probably better than so nush so they willingly infected themselves with gene
stealers somehow a gene stealer possessed an avatar of Kane thank you
you know wow I'm an avatar of gene like oh no that's recent lore you said
relatively you nari geez so recent even at this point like that's not that
reason they did it to try and escape the effects of just existing as an elder
so nush can be draining you so they had to circumvent that then ended up I can't
wait for the next big entry for the elder being that one of the craft world
sides with the Tao and helps with the greater good and then they just have
like an avatar of Kyle he's just a nice guy I used to be angry but now I'm
came by the way I heard in like 2010 like around like 14 some around that
time there was kind of that on the tabletop and he I think it was just
his Tau Dar yeah scourge of all local table top our Tao Alliance who's best
solution against you have a far seer on a jet bike going around with like XV a
battle suits and he'd be casting the elder powers on the crisis suits so they
were just be possible to deal with oh no that was bring a warlord tight oh god my
coke went down the wrong pipe yeah there's a Tao heresy with the elders
cause Colin to have some sort of you know like medical emergency that is
thank you DJ beats for the full armed avatar Kane is the best god that is so
true oh please be had more arms he might sound a chance so sorry and that's that's
about the craft worlds any any questions just about daily life on the craft what I
guess because but for most of the time they're not really we only see that most
of the elder at war so what's like most of the time they do on the crossroads I
guess just following the paths and then it is like like dependent on the craft
roles like I was saying like Sam Han is you know they're a lot more chill with
it a little bit more laid-back like all I talk again is a much more strict with
it so they're gonna be like you are doing this and only this but like the
crafts like I said our letter of the pop man I'm having the craft of the path the
cross the crafts are the paths are like it's not just the warrior ones it just
warriors are the only ones we see because it's a tabletop war game like
craft of the botanist stuff like that like there's like research paths there's
other stuff they do it's quite not it can be like quite nice like bougie
inside these crosswords yeah like they're all they're all very disciplined and
they're not like go they're generally not going out of their way to you know
party it up because that's that's what caused the nation the first place so
they don't have like a downtown Chicago no they do not have a Chicago section I
don't know maybe the bit I like got space marines and smashed up but the
overall like yeah like there's like they're a post scarcity society there
they're disciplined but they don't like they're not gonna want first like basic
necessities craft worlds are pretty nice to live in damn great view as well to be
fair just yeah this guy and I think I think there's also like that what is it
like they're bigger on the inside than they are on the outside like their
magical elf spaceship it's actually bigger on the inside I promise you know
five inches seven on a good day what yeah but yeah like there's magical stuff
going on with it like there's a building and all of them the dome of the crystal
seers which is where like the far seers and other specialized psychers will go
to meditate that's got you know it connects to the infinity circuit that's
I think that's where especially there's a lot of psychic shenanigans going on
they are they are like in day-to-day elder life it's probably the highest
standard of living in 40k outside of like you know high lords of Terra so is
it kind of like space Rivendell yeah that's what I like basically most the
time and Steven down damn they have like waterfalls in the space like you asked
it yeah I mean the craft world you know it is a spaceship but it's also
spaceship the size of a planet that is the last refuge of their people it's not
like they're like size of continents I never can't there is they said that the
Beelzebub one was moon-sized so I mean I'll think it varies choice I mean
continent-sized spaceship is still a pretty damn big spaceship yeah the one
in battle fleet gothic like there's a mission where you can fight in front of
one it is this it takes up the screen cheese like stretches way into the
background what about in comparison say like the phalanx with the imperial fists
that's like the biggest thing the Imperium has is it like comparable size
to follow to follow small moon or large asteroid craft rolls are gonna be way
bigger than right I got a large asteroid is so like several black stone
fortresses combined would be one craft world last fortress are pretty big
because they're comparable to the phalanx aren't they they're like similar
sizes or are they that might be just because the game oh yes in the gate
possibly gothic might have changed that they vary in size some of them will be
small some of them will be well yeah it's and it's also one of those things
like it depends on the writer like there's been books where like warlord
Titans are like a mile tall and then you know like I think the official estimate
now that was like 144 meters I have that number in my head I don't know why
but so like it depends on who's writing it what kind of tone they're going for
so craft world's like oh I just look warlord Titan Titan Titan 32.72 meters
it was 144 feet is about what that is right I just kind of like the idea of
you talking about the standard living inside the craft was just like a
letting agent being like welcome to this craft world from be able time every room
has a swimming pool and an ice hockey table oh this looks lovely and then
there's all the Imperial citizens just like eating bits of their dead relatives
to survive like yeah but of a different standard of living question mark you
could live on this craft world except you were a human no human smell around
here literally just like the treehouse things it's like no monkey allowed to
staple inside nothing they're pretty cool to be honest though although again
we just need to see more of it I will I just don't know if they really have a
in the grand narrative but they don't use utilize something this cool if a
battle takes place on a croft I mean they had a which is the one we had the
Legion of the Dammit it's that I and in as well blue and yellow were in the
scheme I ended was allied with them it was like stuff after a high fleet
behemoth they were fighting high fleet Naga and destroyed it and then the
Legion of the Dam showed up and then to be fair the only thing about a craft
world is kind of like the assault of the rock is like you don't want to have that
in a war zone that's a bad risk it's like only cataclysmic like oh it's
going to endanger our whole craft world are you gonna have like it involved I
would assume they're not gonna be like let's just do a careless orbital
bombardment and have it in proximity to ambush yeah they they do not bring
craft worlds to the front because as much as it's a gigantic ship with you
know massive weapon batteries and whatnot it's also their home it's also
where they're nice 4k tellies are and all that stuff it's like I don't want
that game broken it'd be so cool to story that just because a lot of stories
often just go the space Hulk route where they feel want to have like just an
enormous ship you are to play in they could just pivot something into a
craft world like because again you can apply that a lot of the sections of the
craft world have been like essentially because the population is just not big
enough some sections because it could be dead and like empty and any story
taking place and that would be actually pretty sick because again it's just
different scenery in the gene steals or the tyranids invade one and they have to
like purge their craft world of all the like hidden like oh we haven't been in
this district for ages because we haven't got enough people oh no the
tyranids are now huddled in there yeah that is like kind of almost standard on
a lot of the craft worlds very few of them have enough population to like
reach max capacity like especially I and him there's entire like noble courts
consisting entirely of Raithgard and no Raithlords pretty eerie I would say yeah
like the the most populated elder craft rules gonna be a little bit lonely the
least populated is going to look like a ghost could even have one of the nicer
craft worlds taking in some human refugees and then they have like a
delegation from another one site I smell monkeys I know no and then you have like
a little bit of a strife between them like we shouldn't just kill them because
they are lesser species and they're like yes we should have a little story about
the fact that they call they don't call humans monke because it's a because they
look like monkeys because it's a slur related to an ancient
xenos that tried to enslave them yeah that's okay you know I mean that's one
of those things it's like yeah clearly out of universe monkey in universe
land raider no no no land speeder yeah lands arkin lands land raider and call
that because it speeds across the land it's invented by arkin land and then
everyone joked about that happening to the Astartes and it turns out Astartes
was the name of the head of the project thanks for the whole conspiracy what's the one with the Raith Knights because they have
spirits in them it's because the Eldar known as Raif Magul created the first
I don't know what's wrong with them it's the walkers that their mechanic is can't
turn them off because they leave them on treadmills walking yeah when they're not
being used in battle because they think if they turn them off they don't know
how to turn them on yeah so you woke them up turn them on and they could never
turn them off again so when they're not in battle they're caught there's an army of
like walkers on treadmills constantly walking or like a hamster wheel that'd be good
gotta love Warhammer I think with that being said though that was probably that
was well that was all of the craft wars that had lore we could say about anyone else wants to add
anything last comments no I think we held our cool I think it'd be okay if
they blew up alitalk come on in the few pieces
with that being said though thank you guys so much for watching and listening
we do have stuff on Spotify if you want to listen to things on there if it's
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of Friday and you know tune in I think we've got another tier list one coming
up soon which will we haven't quite decided that but that will again it'll
be something ridiculous so we're gonna go argue through that and with that
being said thank you guys so much for watching and listening and we'll see in
the next one peace and remember the only good Eldar is a dead one
you