Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Law Crimes.
We're changing things up,
we're doing things a little bit differently,
but we hope you're all doing well.
And today we're not joined by Eli,
but I've got Hal and Colin here.
Welcome, it's Law Crimes, isn't it?
Hello everyone, how are we doing?
Yes, I think we did it.
We made it, right?
We made it.
I had it open my PC and then you started talking in here
and then you started talking on stream
and then my eardrums started creeping.
I get confused.
There is a bit of pain,
but we are doing something,
speaking of confusion,
something that will confuse the senses today.
Andy, I think we're talking about something
particularly disgusting and smelly.
Yeah.
And I'm not just talking about our podcast skills.
What are we doing, Andy, today?
Today we are talking about the Death Guard.
Ooh, look at that.
There's a Death Guard in it.
Shiny.
Second.
Yeah, we're gonna be talking about the 14th Legion,
the Mortarians, lads.
It's all a bit of fun.
And yeah, how are we feeling about it?
I just wanna point out,
someone who just said, where's our short king?
Listen.
Listen, okay.
The egg took a toll on him.
If anybody didn't catch it,
our previous stream had Eli eating an actual raw egg.
It's worth a listen.
I don't wanna spoil, no spoilers for that,
because we're gonna go,
I think we should go pretty much,
if you guys are ready.
Again, that 14th Legion, Death Guard,
some smelly boys.
I was ready to go, I think we just,
I'll say raw dog, raw dog's not a right word.
I mean, I think it is.
It's the X-Bars.
This is not a mass.
Someone said, return of the poop knife.
Yes, I'm glad they remember that joke.
That's a long time joke now.
There'll be no poop knife on this one.
What's the ones that they call like,
I think you've all heard like a horror story of people
talking about, they're like reusable ones.
Reusable what?
Toilet paper, and it freaks me out.
They were already getting, we don't wanna know.
Let's stick to Warhammer, what we know.
It's the reusable toilet paper of Warhammer lore,
the Death Guard.
Heading this up will be our good old boy Colin here.
He's gonna give you guys a little bit of an introduction.
This is the kind of beginner to expert slash iceberg effect
of the Death Guard.
So, you know, we're gonna go through those layers,
like a disgusting cake.
This is unfortunately, I was watching that show,
is it cake earlier?
This is not cake.
This is rot.
So Colin, are you ready?
I am, but I have, can I have one moment?
My dogs are running around in my front yard.
Apologies, gentlemen, but everyone watching,
but that's not good.
Colin's gonna go rescue his dogs for a bit.
If anyone has any questions in the chat, by the way,
please send them towards us.
Also, is there any other topics
that people would like us to see?
I think we're gonna cover some fantasy
in the not too distant future.
So people who have been enjoying our five-side fantasy ones,
they can have a little bit of a listen on there.
No, we did not send anyone to Nergal.
Thank you, Jack Dawes.
I think Jack Dawes, have you been an early subscriber,
brother, appreciate the support.
I think I've seen you on my channel for a long time,
so appreciate that, man.
Mortarion is literally the worst Primark.
That's a big debate.
I don't think you could say he's the worst Primark.
Lorgar's the worst Primark, surely.
He's just a choir boy.
By measure of Primarks, he is the worst Primark.
He is an interesting Primark,
but he is technically like,
none of them disagree that they could actually wipe
Mortarion out of existence.
He's a bit of a wet wipe, to be honest.
He's easily smudged.
People are asking about what is the mask.
The mask is because he has a secret pass
and he cannot tell us who he works for.
I'm in witness protection.
No, all it is is, yeah, like for now,
I do not want to show my face.
So I got this from a lovely Etsy shop in Belgium,
and I thought it would go well with the Remembrance Channel,
but for now, we're keeping the identity concealed.
But maybe next year, maybe next year,
with a particular milestone,
we might see what's under this disgusting face.
Made of wood. It's not disgusting.
Ladies and gentlemen, my apologies.
Hello, Dorgs. How are the doogs?
How are the dogs?
Not running around out front, thankfully.
That's good.
Oh, someone's asking, is the vote conflicting?
No, it's not conflicting.
You know exactly what you want to pick.
Choose it, brother.
Dominic Jackman just put egg.
Egg. Yes.
There will be no, we didn't actually get any eggs
on this stream. I have eggs downstairs, but.
We're not eating any eggs.
You'd have to send a lot of money for us to eat.
Okay, I shouldn't have said that.
With that being said though, Colin,
are you ready to begin this sort of disgusting journey?
I am ready to begin the disgusting journey
of the Death Guard.
So, any, without further ado, let's now get into it.
Yes.
Death Guard, 14th Legion of Space Marines.
They, oh, does anyone hear my voice echoing?
You might have used a second microphone there.
Apologies for technical difficulties.
It's our first time doing this.
Echo can't be changed.
But again, I should point out,
the reason we're doing it like this is because we want to
interact with you guys while we do it, because we think.
Yeah.
Especially with the live streams we've done recently,
we love the banter we have with you guys
and seeing what you're talking about.
And it's a different dynamic than doing it post-recording.
So that's kind of why we want to get you guys
involved a bit more.
Yeah, sorry, Colin, please continue.
Oh, no, I'd rather an explanation.
Also it says echo cancellation is turned off,
but that's only for me.
So it's only a problem for me.
I'll get used to it.
All right.
Anyway, Death Guard.
They're the 14th Legion of the Space Marines,
created as the rest of the first Space Marines
by the Emperor On Terra to help them conquer the galaxy.
They were initially known as the Dusk Raiders,
for what other reason than they were proficient in attacking
during the evening, nights getting settled,
so all the troops are getting ready to go to rest.
There's only a couple of people on guard.
That's when the Dusk Raiders would swoop in
and thoroughly ruin your day.
Their Primarch was Mortarion, smelly man, extraordinary,
all around pretty bitter human being.
And their specialty among the Astartes
was just being super humanly tough,
even for Space Marine standards.
You could keep-
Oh, one sec.
I think someone says, now I hear the echo.
Oh, no.
I think you might have, did you switch microphones possibly?
Uh, I can make sure.
You can mute mic while recording,
but you can't switch mics.
Thank you for letting us know, by the way, boys.
Much appreciated.
We're all working heads out.
We're working heads out, so just let people know as well,
the stream will be post-edited,
so this will look super clean when we're done.
But for those who are listening to the live edition,
this will be quite rustic.
That's okay.
First time's rough for everything.
I'll make sure I'm a little bit less loud
so it doesn't echo quite as much then.
Where was I?
Pardon me.
Their specialty is being tough as nails.
They're superhumanly tough as a result
of Mortarian's gene seed,
and they're especially resistant to things
like chemical weapons and diseases,
which is quite ironic, given what's coming up.
By the time of the heresy,
they were just under a hundred K Marines.
So they're not the largest Legion,
but they're certainly not undermanned.
Only people like, you know, the ultramarines,
the sons of Horus, the dark angels before the big,
oh, that was the Ranged and Zeno side,
could be counted as bigger as them.
Pardon me.
Their training was very intense,
and Mortarian wanted to make sure they were equipped
for every possible scenario.
Although funnily enough, they didn't have,
unless, Fieldford, correct me if I'm wrong,
but they did not have assault or devastator squads
dedicated to fighting.
But they did have, was a good amount of Terminator armor,
though, and as Epi-Epi,
as befitting a Legion known for being tough as hell,
that's only fitting.
And as a result, they were pretty good at boarding actions,
as well as just general getting in a slog and going through it.
Mortarian's influence on them wasn't as bad
as some of the other traitor Legions early on,
you know, especially compared to Ang'ron,
who jammed his kids full of nails in their brains.
Mortarian didn't do anything like that,
but his decision to join Horus is, of course,
what would turn the Death Guard into what they would become.
Some might call that a bad move, in retrospect.
Some might call joining the forces of hell a bit of an uh-oh.
It's a bit of a dodgy choice.
Yeah.
Just a question for you two, like,
am I the only one who would, like,
of all the four Chaos Gods to follow,
my last option would be Nergal.
I'd rather be...
Oh, no, you're dead.
...Horogod, angry god, or sneaky god.
Or sneaky god, rather than smelly posgod.
I think Nergal would be number two for me, honestly.
Really?
Well, it's like...
Okay.
I mean, you don't feel pain, which is good.
Well, yeah, there's that.
And like, Zech, like, even if you do everything he wants,
he might just decide, yeah, but it would be really funny
if you were a Chaos Spawn right now.
Yeah.
So he turns you into one.
My naive brain, I just feel like it would be like me
trying to play the Stanley Parable,
and then I'm just trying to mess it up.
He's like, no, but I saw that coming.
You're not that clever.
I'm like, oh, sorry, dad.
You know that, baby.
Unironically, though, by the way they describe it,
being a Nergal worshipper is technically the best,
because even by us looking at it now, we're like, that's gross.
But as a Nergal worshipper, you're like, oh my god,
this is the best, I'm having my best day ever.
And also, you don't feel any pain, you just feel amazing.
And you're like...
And also, your god kind of treats you okay.
He's like the grandfather and stuff.
I honestly think as much as it pains my Zetian heart,
it's actually first.
Technically, you want to be part of Nergal
because you'd actually be okay.
You know what I mean?
You'd be disgusting to all your mates,
but you'd be all right, I think.
I'd take Slenesh first, personally.
Enjoys his weekends, don't you?
You degenerate.
Here for a good time, not for a long one.
But back to the Death Guard, they were pretty competent
early on in the Horus heresy, especially compared to the menagerie
of circus clowns that Horus had on his side.
Again, Ang'ran, Conrad, Gurs.
Compared to them, Mortarion's like, hey, it's Mortarion.
Him and his Death Guard are going to go do what's got to get done.
And that's all I need to say about it.
As time went on, though, things would turn against them,
especially when they would try and get the White Scars
on their side, which is the biggest turning point for them.
The Magyar, there's, I know, Andy's getting excited.
I mentioned the Scars.
The Magyar squads of the White Scars
were some White Scars who were, we'll talk about them
at a different time if...
Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
So cool.
I mean, we've already done our White Scars episode,
but the second Amazon.
Oh, yeah.
Cool.
Yeah, we've talked about them before and probably will again,
because even, you know, I'm not the biggest Scars fan,
but I have to admit, pretty damn cool.
But for now, all you need to know about them
is White Scars who are redeeming themselves in death,
proper Dwarfi.
And they were doing that by keeping Mortarion away
from the rest of the Scars who they were buying time to retreat.
So Mortarion has the eggs on his face.
He's looking a little bit silly.
And he gives up and decides it's time
to go to Terra with the rest of his Death Guard
when Typhon does a bit of a prank on Mortarion, which
is killing all of his navigators.
And now the death...
Bit of a prank, bro.
Yeah, bit of a goof.
I'm getting Typhon's now.
Bit of a goof.
Is this a prank?
Yeah.
And he tells Mortarion that they were actually secretly loyalists
who were plotting to drive their fleet
into a supermassive black hole, if I remember correctly.
Which is...
Oh, yeah.
Would have been a great way to deal with them
if that was actually true.
It's also a great news song, but yeah.
That wasn't true, though.
Typhon, at this point, was just lying to him.
But he says, don't worry, Dad.
I trust all of the psychers and myself, who I'm also a psyker.
Trust us.
We'll get us to Terra safely.
And on the one hand, he didn't technically lie.
They did eventually reach Terra.
But on the other hand, the Death Guard were stranded in a warp storm,
where Nergal also made his move and infected them with the worst of the
diseases he had to hand, which given he's the god of diseases, a whole lot.
The stream of bath water.
Yeah, it smelled like a convention in the...
Someone did just say, is it like, someone mentioned Asmogold's first shower?
On the year stream.
You mean the wash?
Whatever this guy is.
I mean, the only thing is, like the thing you just mentioned, Colin,
could you imagine like a hundred thousand maybe super soldiers?
And they're all like, buff and nothing.
And then all of a sudden they're all like spewing out in both ends,
like, and diarrhea and the plague and the...
Oh, this isn't good.
And you're just a morphing person being like, my fingers are disappearing.
What's going on?
Help.
Have you ever played Plague Inc, that little phone game where you
can spread the...
I think that's an event you can get.
Yeah.
I think they call it like shotgun syndrome or something.
It's the place you've got to instantly get that little island nation.
Oh, Madagascar.
Madagascar, that's the one.
It's Madagascar, Greenland or Iceland.
All three of those suck to infect.
But speaking of infected, the Death Guard, their famed resilience is turning
against them now because while on the one hand, they're not dying,
on the other hand, they're in just unending suffering because they have
every disease ever being pumped into them.
But because their very DNA makes them resilient, it can't kill them,
but they're just laying and sitting in agony.
Except for Typhon, who is now Typhus, who ate a whole bunch of bugs.
Yeah, that's the destroyer hive, right?
He basically just ate bugs.
He became the way he is today.
I'm paraphrasing a bit what happened, but...
Kind of.
He became the weird kid at school who eats bugs and maintains eye contact all the time.
And Mortarion is also suffering and to end it, he just gives up and embraces Nurgle.
He embraces the god of decay and pestilence.
And now the Death Guard have become what they're going to be moving out in 40K.
The gross, disgusting, bloated, awful Chaos Marines.
The stinkiest boys in all of the setting.
Is that...
Do you have any bit more?
Or I do have a question for you if you are ready.
Just a brief like up to modern 40K, nothing too in depth.
Just jumping up to modern 40K for about 10,000 years, they were, as all Trader Legions, forced
to exist in the Eye of Terror.
Theoretically, they remain pretty organized.
The Emperor's children and the World Eaters just completely disintegrated basically.
Theoretically, the Death Guard are a bit more organized, but in practice, Mortarion didn't
really...
Well, for a while, didn't really throw his weight around.
And Typhus was probably the...
Was definitely the most active of their champions.
With his plague fleet, probably...
I don't think it's ever stated, but I'm gonna go out and say that they probably got the
highest kill count out of any Trader force.
Because they would just spread pestilence out of wherever they go.
Just infect entire worlds.
Well, because like, Karn, himself has probably killed more than Typhus, but Typhus and his
fleet and the diseases they spread.
Karn, that lovable puppy boy hit that one million on the counter.
I suppose you're limited to how quickly you can swing your gore child or chain axe or
whatever.
Whereas with the...
There's like an episode of Hat.
A guy that looks like this guy really, he spreads a plague through the astropaths.
And so they broadcast a virus and it kills loads of people because they're just like,
the astropaths start the virus and they're like the infection point.
And it's like, I don't know how that works, but that's horrid.
I don't want it.
Evil chaos magic.
Yes.
And the most recent stuff they did was the plague wars where Mortarion and Gilliman throw
down.
Ultimately, they fail to kill...
Well, I mean, they do kill him, but then the Emperor goes, nuh-uh, and brings Gilliman
back.
Nuh-uh.
No, he's my special boy.
You can't kill him.
Nuh-uh.
And he's pretty much...
And of course, Ultramar doesn't fall either because it's Ultramar and the Ultramarines
are the best.
Although we do use Iax.
Iax.
Rest in peace.
Not quite Cadia.
Every day I wake up, my share of a tear for Cadia.
Suffered enough.
To be fair, I just want to briefly mention, there was a brief small bit of lore and some
artwork about the Death Guard fighting Tao and that shadow son, I believe.
And it's really bizarre because they kind of go, we're fighting Space Marines, but there's
something wrong with them.
They're just not right.
It's something a bit...
They sting.
You know what I mean, bro?
Something's up.
Something about all the fluids, I guess.
The fluids.
The green pus leaking out of them wasn't right.
Ugh, I don't like that flavour.
Speaking of, they were threatening to invade the Tao Empire, but that didn't really go
anywhere.
They end up fighting some of the remnants of the Fourth Sphere expansion, which was
already a complete mess for the Tao anyway, so no substantial losses were really given
to the Tao Empire.
And other than that, Mortarion got his torso exploded by Kaldor Drago and had a Grandmaster's
name carved on his heart.
And there's the basics of the Death Guard.
They're stinky, they're tanky, they're unpleasant to be around, but they will give you Nergal's
love anyways.
They are loved, though.
They are very much loved.
For that, though, we're just going to move into a small section here, boys, where if
you guys want to ask any questions just before we head on into the larger part as well.
I hate that poll, man.
That's something.
I have no idea who put that there.
It could have been anyone.
Is it possible to go to the shared screen bit, Andy, just for this small little bit?
We're going to grill Colin here with just a few, with just a one or two punch question.
I've got one for the Death Guard, hopefully Colin, if you could answer this one for me.
Do you think YouTubers who clean carpets could take on the Death Guard?
What do you think?
And how many?
Have you not seen those videos of people who take the most disgusting carpets out there
and they do the full on rinse and then the hose spray and then they actually power wash
of it?
If you've not, people are going to put in the comments and they know exactly what I'm
talking about.
The closest I think things can do that is like power wash simulator.
Basically people who are power wash YouTubers, and that's a better question.
There is a sub called power washing porn, but it's about how satisfying it is to be
like, oh, it's so clean.
And you like you have a grimy wall and you just go and it just cuts through it like butter.
Visual ASMR kind of thing.
Yeah, basically.
We're just like, look how satisfying that line is.
Oh, it's clean.
Yeah, people put in the chat.
Seriously, there are there are there's a whole thing of like people who clean carpets and
it's so satisfying because it's just like a tick tock.
It's ASMR.
It's not on YouTube.
I'm not child.
I'm just a web adult.
But it's so it's actually really satisfying.
I just wonder how many attempts it would take just to clean one plague marine or power wash
it.
Would you power wash a plague marine?
I feel like it would be an endless like you clean him and then he's instantly like, I've
got more puffs.
You know, it would just keep keep going.
The only way to clean them is with like melt a weapon.
I agree.
Melted them.
I think Jack Dawes, he puts the satisfying YouTube videos where people power wash carpets
that should be launched into the sun.
No, Jack, I need you on my side, brother, please.
It shouldn't be launched into the sun.
Oh, morning from Australia.
Thank you, Prince Hades.
Good to see you, brother.
Hopefully we're probably ruining your morning here with this kind of thing.
We hope you can see the stream okay, considering it's upside down.
What do you mean it's upside down?
Because it's in Australia.
Oh my god.
Oh, damn it.
I think the carpet thing would just be little nurglings holding hands.
Not quite.
That would be cool, though.
It would take more than 100 times to clean it, I guess.
That's basically my question is the carpet cleaning question.
100 times a day, perhaps, I reckon.
Yeah.
I wonder if like, if like a whole thing like.
I think that's 100 of the power of 100 times to clean them.
That one's probably more accurate.
Yeah.
Power wash.
If you power washed a.
Here's a question.
Here's a good one.
How would you reckon the Death Guard would do if they were faced by Mr. Clean himself?
Oh, Mr. Clean would curb stomp them.
That's he's Mr. Clean.
I'm just imagining the Doom music just going like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
and he just goes.
And he just like clean powers everywhere and everyone's like, oh, I'm not smelly anymore.
And then he just instantly decapitates.
Do you guys have the crazy, Cillit Bang adverts, where it's like the over the top version of
Cillit Bang hand grenade or something like that?
Oh, Peter Serafinovich's.
Yeah.
Toilet gun.
Bang, bang, bang.
Toilet clean again.
Can we just throw that guy at Typhus and just see who emerges?
Like two men into one man leaves.
Fun fact Colin, he is Pate in Dark Souls 2.
Ah, good man.
He's a voice actor and he's a comedian and he has an amazing sketch series you can watch
on YouTube.
I'll send it to you later.
And he was Darth Maul's voice actor.
Is he?
Is he not?
In the first film.
Oh, in the first film.
Trey Park.
Trey Park is Australian.
I met him and he's like, he's not, it's like, it's the thing with sifts.
You get Darth Vader.
It's what's his name?
He was from the, from the West country.
All right.
Oh, the guy who actually played Darth Vader, but then they redubbed his voice.
So Peter Serafinawix did the voice for Darth Maul and he had like a bunch of, there's a
video on YouTube of him talking to Richard Herring and he's all like, oh, I got to be
like, I got to do like a good few hours of dialogue.
And then it was like three lines and then he had to pay to go to the premiere of the
film he was in in New York.
I think it was.
It's like, oh, I think I've seen that.
It's sad.
Dirty.
Poor Peter.
He's a good guy because he loves dark souls.
Damn.
I thought they said like, no, they didn't want to have famous people, did they?
And dark souls just because they're like, oh, they're worried it would overshadow them
voice actors.
Yeah.
But speaking of him, cause he's a lovely pate.
Lovely pate.
Trust worthy man.
Very trustworthy.
I have no idea what you're on about.
He doesn't lie once to you.
Emperors and says they clean by the purifying flames.
Absolutely true.
Good on you, brother.
Speaking of though, is everyone here ready for the expert section slash the full Schmeet,
shall we say of the death guard law?
The Schmeet of the death guard law.
Okay.
Word words.
So as we said, this is kind of the morning breath of all legions.
If you guys are ready for your, I'm going to keep saying again, the Schmeet of the lawn.
That will be gifted to you here.
Say horrible things.
You just got to mix them up.
You can't say the same thing every time.
What do you mean?
That's exactly repeat comedy.
It's the same joke.
And that's how it's funny.
Brian of comedy.
Come on.
Let's do it again.
Again, again, poo poo, peeing it out like a very overused other.
Like, no, stop.
An overused other, an overused one.
Speaking of overused others, it's time for some creative GW writing here.
Because this is, okay, just for preference before we get into this, some of it is inconsistent
because most authors have had a go.
This thing's been attacked.
You know, it's been re-gotated and fed, bang, cooked again.
But it's some of it.
There's some really good parts of death guard law that we will give it to you now.
So the death guard themselves, 14th Legion, as we've said before, smelly boys, they're
kind of known for being corrupted by Nergal, disgusting.
They look horrific.
And their tabletop models are pretty sick.
They do.
If you're not particularly like, you know, great at painting and that, you just have
a go at these guys.
You can kind of make, basically you can make anyone like feel you've got a good grasp of
painting and their story begins in the 30th millennium.
This is on the world called Barbarous.
Now Barbarous is kind of like, if you took the work, think of where you are watching
this from your country and think of the worst city you have there.
And then just make it a hundred times worse.
This thing, yeah, I don't want to name specific names because I feel like it is an easy Chicago
joke.
Yeah, I'll do it then.
Chicago, the Chicago of all planets for the primal.
I don't know what Chicago accent is.
I don't know how they'd sound, but I don't know.
Imagine me.
Imagine Chicago or something.
You don't say Argo.
People say Chicago.
Chicago.
Just watch the music of Chicago and you can do it easy.
So Barbarous itself is a very mountainous and craggy, but also toxin ridden planet.
It's horrific to live on.
People who do live there, their life is pretty.
It's absolutely sucks because the noxious gases, most of the human inhabitants that
live here, the world itself has kind of regressed technology back to an era where essentially
plowing fields and they kind of have some proto armor, like powered armor.
But again, it's like it's humanity at its worst.
The many different crags and high places on Barbarous are all owned by this race called
the Overlords.
And the Overlords, they described as something that was probably human a long time ago, but
they made pact with something that was possibly a dark god.
We probably can guess who that is.
And they turn into like twisted undead creatures.
And the Overlords are very much like, as you probably think of what the word Overlord entails,
they are like petty politicians, but they're also a little bit murderous.
So it's a little bit, you know, a little bit of squeeze of lemon on that.
Just like the Necrons.
Basically, yes.
They've got side hobbies.
Murder.
They do.
They have side hobbies.
They build things kind of like a Warhammer fan, except they build them out of dead people.
And that's not typical of Warhammer fans.
I mean, it's recycling, isn't it?
If there's probably one guy is going to put in the chat, like this is exactly what I do.
Why you call me out?
Listen, Greg, it's not about you.
So the Overlords are like a disgusting undead race, and they very much prey on the normal
humans of this world.
Again, the whole world is full of noxious and poisonous gas.
It's even worse at the height.
You think it would sink, but apparently this gas like just floats the top.
So the ones lighter than air depends on the poison you're using.
If it's a Friday night, I guess so.
Yeah, but it's not specified which one.
True, true.
And so the worst of these overlords are very cruel and they basically fight petty wars
between each other.
And the worse them live on the highest peaks.
And one of them would eventually it to be battling another one.
He's like having another little petty squabble.
And he would one day hear this crying child in the middle of the toxic mist.
He would hear a crying baby and he thought that's odd.
And this is where he would discover the fallen Primarch Mortarion.
And Mortarion had obviously been whisked away from terror at this point.
And when he found Mortarion, he didn't initially go, oh, wow, that's a child.
I should help it.
You know, that thing needs protection.
It actually went, oh, that's annoying.
It's like me.
Yo, this is he actually kind of did his whole like rub hands together and went, yo, I kind
of it's like pimp my ride with this guy went this.
This was nice.
But this this is cool.
Yeah, it's a proper like, you know, like rub it like that kind of one.
He's like, yo, I'm gonna have me some of that.
And yeah, OK, we're taking this the wrong way.
I don't like this hole we're digging.
Change from law crimes to war crimes very quickly.
He would just find this crying child.
And it was particularly weird because, first of all, this is at the layer where most humans
would die.
And it was also being protected by another overlord.
So this overlord called Nickare, who basically killed a rival, he thought that seems like
it's a prize that'll be mine.
And he would eventually raise Mortarion up to be a he tried to make him as cruel and
as vindictive as him trying to blacken Mortarion's heart.
He had a very terrible life, that Primark.
And even though he grew and he was exceptional, he still was not like broken in a way such
as this monster, this almost human undead creature called Nickare.
Until one day when Mortarion, who was often sent out as like a sort of courier boy or
just basically he was thrown out to fight other overlords.
I was just imagining a rival, Nickare just going, it was rigged from the start.
Benny, you messed up boy.
He was a very glorified delivery boy, except sometimes he would deliver death.
Very much delivering death.
He was sent out to fight impossible other malformed creatures created by other overlords.
And every time basically Mortarion almost died, Nickare would just loom over him and
go, nice try brother.
Something just like, you know, GG gamer sort of a bit.
He was a bit out of touch.
Call an ambulance, but not for me.
Not for you either.
This would eventually breed a lot of resentment and hate in Mortarion.
Nickare was also a psycho and, you know, vile sorcerer.
And this would eventually lead to the day where famously Mortarion had had enough.
And as you saw some other humans being brought up to the fortress, they were coughing and
spluttering.
One of them broke free from the, these flesh golem guards were taking them up to be basically
taken to the laboratory to have some quote unquote fun done to them.
And one of them broke free and it was actually near the fortress of Mortarion that this happened.
And he, this other ordinary human, he was using magic and all kinds of things.
This other tried to escape.
Bad touch.
And he would try, this ordinary human was breaking free from the golems and he caught
sight of Mortarion and he basically asked for help, help us.
And Mortarion for the first time in his life actually made a choice for himself.
And so he basically leaps off this fortress and he had this sort of like, call it pepper
box gun and he started firing into these flesh golems and he freed the first human ever from
Nickare's sort of grip.
And this human was called Kalas Typhon.
Unfortunately this guy is gonna come up again.
This is a big, big, this is a big sad, sad moment in the chat for this bad boy here because
this guy would ruin everything.
This is the friend you made in uni who you're just like...
He's not quite Erebus but he's not far off.
He's like, oh, I want to punch you almost as hard in the face.
Just a little bit less.
He's Erebus something.
Just a bit less.
I'll punch you in the face and I'll kick Erebus in the nuts.
Like that's the scale we're on right now.
That's the hierarchy.
This guy, so they would both kind of, as you do, when you basically commit anarchy and
rebellion they'd run off together holding hands down the mountain.
We're not quite like that.
It was a lot cooler.
And they would reach the first human village that Mortarion would ever see.
And it's quite a cool moment where Mortarion hears music for the first time and he sees
all these normal people living and he kind of goes, damn, I missed out on so much.
You know, he'd never went to college, never had his first party, all that kind of stuff.
Not really.
And as they were in this village, Mortarion essentially decides to save the people of
Barbaros.
They, like him, had been tortured, enslaved, broken and used as tools and he had had enough.
So Mortarion says, I'm going to basically, you know, he's taking control.
He's like, this is a weird reference.
I don't know.
In my head I thought, Dana, why he's uniting the UFC?
But it's nowhere near.
Wait, hold on, who's Joe Rogan in this analogy?
Come on.
I'm lost.
Joe Rogan is not here yet because this is later.
For no reason.
That's not going to work.
No idea why Dana White.
Dana White is not Mortarion, by the way.
Maybe he's Malkador.
But like, it kind of looks like him to be fair.
So Mortarion would join with the people.
He'd grab a scythe from, you know, his iconic weapon, essentially from the fields.
And he would start helping the people.
Immediately they basically get attacked by another overlord, one of the petty ones.
And Mortarion kills his first overlord.
And in that sort of moment where all these people who've been afraid of them and they
lived in little villages where they kind of had to hide at night from the monster that
lived in the smoke that came out, they would actually see him as a symbol of hope.
And that would be the formation of the Death Guard, which their symbol, I believe, is the
setting or rising sun with the skull on it, sort of basically showing that death comes
to them every day.
And no, so this is the first proper formation of the Death Guard.
It's actually just a human sort of contingent.
They would take their knowledge and training from Mortarion and they'd build like proto
power armor and sort of very rustic things, but things that would help them fight within
the toxic mist, you know, the things that they've been afraid of for so long.
And they would go to battle.
And this would begin the barbarous war, which takes, it's not specified how long this is,
but this is like supposedly either like a decade or a few years.
There is a through line with every story in Warhammer.
You never know exactly how.
I was listening to the first twice dead king book again today and it was like, oh, he's
in prison for several years.
I'm like, unless you explicitly mention it, it's really difficult to gauge for a lot of
these stories in 40K because again, the stakes are some characters can live for a thousand
plus years.
It's like, oh, a hundred years.
Oh, that was quick.
One paragraph.
I think it might not have been too long since Kalaas Typhon was still able to be turned
to a space marine.
At this point, like everyone is really funny because like they start to everyone like falls
in love with Mortarion.
Like everyone loves Raymond.
Man, that's going to be an old reference now.
Everyone's like, oh, Mortarion, he's kind of a little bit spooky looking, but they all
are on barbarous.
They're all a bit inaciated, but they sort of looked at him as like, oh my God, my savior.
And then they look to their right, their right.
And there's Kalaas Typhon and everyone can see he's kind of half overlord, half human.
So his skin's a little wacky, even more waxy and disgusting.
And everyone, even now, everyone hates him.
This is like a really small gripe, but as a man who likes to wear a beard on many occasions,
he's one of the few space marines with a beard and he lets the side down.
So we don't have dwarfs.
That's already an L for us as Warhammer 40k fans.
And he's like, I've got a big beard and I'm a dick.
Oh, this man just breezed right by the leaks of Otan.
Yeah, they're recent.
I mean, like 40k who has a beard.
Like 30k, 30k.
Who's got a beard?
That's a good point.
People will be in the chat.
Who has a beard?
Does Li-Man have a beard?
That's the only character.
Li-Man doesn't have a beard?
Space wolves.
Oh, I was about to say space wolves is like all beard.
Space wolves, yeah.
But then Fafniran and that's everyone.
That's a good point.
More beard, more beard for the beard boys.
Although I do like that Imperial Fist captain who has the big mustache.
I'm like, yes, more of that please.
In the recent, he's like the Praetorian with the big sword and he's in the trailer for
Horus Heresy.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, I know the.
Yeah, that guy's mustache was cool.
So the big, what's it called?
Not Cyberpunk, the.
Handlebar?
Oh, the whisk, like proper whiskey.
The big one.
Yeah, yeah.
That.
Damn.
The lion also more beard.
Oh yeah.
And the lion's bringing up the stand and like, yes, more beards please.
Thank you, Devon Griffin for a good point there.
And so this will begin the barbarous war.
And essentially, because I do love how this is said in the books, because the overlords
are so petty, they can't unite together because they hate each other so much.
They have very much like proper politicians and they're like, listen, I hate you so much,
but you're worse.
And like, I was like, I could help, but you're worse.
And they sort of, the death guards sort of take them on one by one.
They sort of go into the mist and hunt them down.
And eventually they fight all the way back to only one overlord remaining, which is Nikair
Martarian's adoptive foster father slash, you know, tormentor.
And this is, yeah, that pretty much the absolute worst of them.
And this is when they eventually try, they have to, and Nikair is at the very highest
mountain.
So this is even tougher.
They try and they tried like a first attempt and it goes horribly wrong because there's
just more Taurin who's this hulking mass.
And then it's like ordinary humans going, bro, I can't keep up.
You know, it's like your friend to cycles all the time.
And then someone, they say like, do you want to go for a cycle ride?
And they just give you the worst, like it's a full mountain and you're like, you hate
them by 10 minutes in and Martarian is held back by the normal humans and the basic, the
death guard.
So they go back, have a round two, but this is sort of where they meet the emperor.
I won't go into too much detail because it's more Martarian's story rather than the death
guard.
So essentially it ends up with more Taurin trying again, sort of making a bet with the
emperor that he, or maybe not really a bet, but making a deal that if he wins, yeah, if
he, if he manages to kill Nikair, the death guard and the people of Barbaras are free
from the imperium.
They don't have to be in compliance.
They're basically fine.
They can live life as they want, which more Taurin unfortunately fails and the Empress
to save his life.
And this means that the death guard and those of Barbaras are now part of the imperium.
So good old Morty here, the trade one very much for another for him.
He's very much, he's not happy because he thinks he failed those people, which he, I
mean, kind of did, let's just be honest.
Um, he kind of absolutely ruined it.
You know what I mean?
He messed it up.
Try.
Yeah.
There is no participation medal in 40 K. Like you tried.
It's right.
Look, sometimes your best isn't enough.
We do try our best, but you know, the, um, the 21st century philosophers Lincoln bug,
but in the air, it doesn't even matter.
Morty, Morty, Morty, I'm going to walk up to the castle and try to fight Nikair.
Oh, oh, my breath, my lungs.
And I'm an ass.
I'm an asthmatic.
I'm a carrying asthmatic man.
And I'm going to have a go at Mortarion for having weak lungs.
They give you license cards.
I didn't know that.
Damn.
They give you cards and everything.
Okay.
I know.
Um, but essentially death guard.
Now they are part of the imperium and Mortarion himself, he would be gifted as his ascension
as a proper Primark.
Um, he'd be gifted the dusk Raiders whooptyhoo because the dust Raiders are probably, he
doesn't deserve them.
Let's be honest.
The dust Raiders are a, the 14th Legion that were founded upon terror and they had one
much honors and glory during the great crusade at this point.
Obviously as Colin mentioned earlier, they're kind of renowned for their, how they earned
their moniker, which was that they would essentially attack when the light was failing and then
it'll be an all out shock assault.
And many sort of famous, um, legionaries who will mention it a bit, um, are also part of
this Legion.
They're all from terror as well, but Mortarion as he is gifted Legion, he sort of goes, listen,
I like that dish, but it's not my favorite dish.
He's he wants, he wants that Eastern European, you know, proper hard boiled onion soup, gruel.
He wants it exactly how he wants it.
So he begins to mold the Legion into his own sort of image and the way and traditions of
barbarous.
So the death guard themselves who are, who at the time were basically just normal humans
in power armor fighting undead creatures and mists, the youngest of them slash the ones
who are still of age would then be elevated into Astartes, one such as, um, Vorax as also
our friend Typhon again, uh, else for Typhon because he's as disgusting human being and
deserves everything he got.
Beards, a bad name.
Yeah.
He, he's a, we, we despise him on law crimes.
It's official statement of law crime.
Um, I definitely think he could be hosed down and cleaned like a carpet.
In my opinion, that's going to keep coming up.
Um, and so Menden would go to the process of becoming space Marines.
The dust Raiders themselves will be renamed into the death guard and the original, like
sort of human death guard, you know, the ones that were too old or they had both men and
women, they were essentially be left on barbarous to sort of, you know, take care of the planet.
And many of the traditions that were born in the death guard were also brought into
the Legion death guards.
So they had the traditional, uh, Mottarion after a victory, they would drink a poison
chalice, um, to sort of remind themselves that they're basically testing themselves
and life every day.
So they've always challenged themselves.
Um, it's the weirdest tradition to what I was reading about that.
I was like, why, what is the point?
It was originally, well, the original version of it was, it was before they made the ascent
on the cares fortress.
And essentially these guys have been basically, has anyone here seen the great escape?
You guys watched the film, the great escape?
Um, well, if I've seen a movie, sorry, I forgot.
The people who are listening, Colin doesn't watch films ever.
No, he just looked at me.
The last one I saw was Oppenheimer.
I think.
Can I read recent?
Can I briefly mention a comment that tickled me, um, because of the asthma thing I mentioned,
we've got, um, Dan, we go from pancreas, no work to lungs barely work.
I think that's my new, I even take lung steroids every day.
Lungs barely, that's my new name.
Lungs barely work.
What's your, you're going to let them roast you like that.
What's your thing?
What's my thing?
Um, yeah, what's broken with you?
Oh, everything.
Why do you think we make Warhammer content?
Um, I forgot what I was going to say now.
Uh, where was it?
Oh yeah.
So the actual, the, the poison tradition came about where it's sort of like in the film
it from the great escape where they kind of brew vodka in prison.
They essentially were brewing up a alcohol and then Mortarion was like, that's pretty
good.
Now give me the raw stuff.
And they were like, huh?
And they were like, we're not ready for that.
We're not.
And then they all had like, the humans had a taste of it and they basically went, they
basically like couldn't hack it.
That's kind of where the tradition was born from where they were basically essentially
drinking poison, like a hundred percent ethanol at that point.
And they were like, we survived, but barely, you know, we did it boys.
And uh, it was like a Persian noble who, uh, kept, uh, he like, he would take, he would
slow like micro dose poison to build up an immunity.
And then, uh, then when the Romans came and knock and he, uh, tried to poison himself
to kill himself.
So the Romans couldn't get them except he built up an immunity to poison.
You didn't do that as well.
I, I, I, I think they tried, I don't know if he did it, but they tried to poison him
and they shot him and ditched him in the river.
But I feel like he drank little bits of poison gradually so that when he was poisoned, he
didn't die.
And then they were like, it's a miracle, but really it was like, no, he was preparing for
an assassination attempt.
I think I know which, uh, which guy you're talking about Colin, but, um, the name escapes
me.
Okay.
So other traditions on the death guard, like their way of war, their weapons, like the
site that was all essentially made into that, the new death guard.
So there are four Legion and there are some like notable Legionaries here.
So there's Nathaniel Garrow.
Um, this is our main boy.
Nathaniel Garrow is an absolute Chad and we appreciate him greatly.
I think, uh, Annie did a video on him.
Not long ago.
I didn't, too.
He's a, he's all right.
Oh no, from his books, he's an actual Chad.
He's fantastic.
He's, he's a cool, he's cool.
And, um, as I thought you mentioned earlier, Calus Typhon, who would eventually become
the first captain and obviously I should mention now also very good friend of Mortarion.
So they actually are friends.
Mortarion does have friends as much as people think he doesn't.
Um, Kyfer Morag, who was the, I think the equity of Mortarion later.
Yep.
And Vorax, who would become a future sort of a 40 K, uh, death Lord slash, um, master
of his own, um, not chapter.
The Lords of Silence.
Yes.
From the Lords of Silence books, really good books.
Um, Ignatius Gruegel's also another name that Hasse mentioned.
The commander of the second company.
This, this will be, uh, this will be mentioned at it.
Oh, someone just put, um, Devin Griffith said there was a Chinese emperor that drank mercury.
No, I wonder how that would go.
Uh, he, I believe he thought it was the, uh, secret to eternal life.
And when his court tried to tell him he's being an idiot, uh, he had them executed.
And he said, secret to eternal sleep.
Listen, there's not improve, was it adapt, approve, overcome.
He did get his life in a way.
Cause I remember that story in a way.
Um, so many of the notable legionaries are, or, you know, they're kind of prominent at
this time and then Mortarion is part of the, um, Imperium of Man.
Death guard is all united with Primarch.
The many recruits from Barbarus are now flooding into the, uh, death guard.
There's no Norterran, uh, recruits and the legion is united.
It's like, you know, big celebration and they think, how do we perfectly celebrate the unification
of Primarch, legion and tactics?
Um, they go on a hunt slash war.
They basically think there's no other way to celebrate.
And this would begin their first ever compliance with the infamous Lords of Galasbar Empire.
Now for people who are listening, they might hear some similarities about the Lords of
Galasbar here.
The Lords of Galasbar was essentially a ruling dynasty, like fascistic empire that had people
operate, like people below them didn't even have numbers.
They're just all slave costs.
And they basically had, when your life was at an end, we're working in horrific factories
or an army of slave soldiers.
You basically were turned into protein paste.
And I think you can kind of guess where like that's very reminiscent of, which is mostly
the modern 40k Imperium.
Corp starch.
They are very much turned into tasty treats.
Um, it was a horrific life and the people that they didn't even have names.
Most humans didn't have names on the world.
They just were ruled by the Lords of Galasbar.
That's kind of a weird, um, like or Orwellian dictatorship thing where like they, they propaganda
in these planets constantly blast like 24 seven is horrifically annoying.
Um, but that's not why they had to be defeated.
Um, because being annoying is not a crime, even though Warhammer, uh, can be like that
sometimes.
I don't know.
I feel like being annoying should be a crime for certain social media influencers.
Like arrest that person.
Social crime annoying.
People who bother me should be put to death.
That's not a held position of law crimes.
That is in fact, we are not supporting thirds of law crimes currently.
Two thirds of law crimes wish to execute people.
Okay.
Um, so I said, so don't be annoying and there's no issue.
Uh, someone just put, so that's you described.
So basically sounds like modern day Britain.
Not quite.
Um, we still, we still have elections, but the rest is all the same.
Do we?
Yeah.
There's one coming up.
I moved to the UK last year and I, it just seems like, Oh, someone says in charge.
I'm like, Oh, I didn't have anything to do.
I mean, our elections are every like five years.
It feels like forever.
Also, we've had like four prime ministers in five years.
Dude, shout out to that lady who quit after like 30 minutes or whatever.
She lasted 40 days and it was like a whole thing.
And then the news about how she, and a lettuce outlasted her.
There's a comedian I know on the circuit who has a bit where he says about like Liz
trust became the first, the, the, the shorter serving committee, uh, shorter time minister
in the UK.
And so and so was the second, at least he had the good decency to die.
It was like, yeah, that, that, that makes sense.
He died while he was serving.
So like he had an excuse, but still, uh, someone says, where's the jacked little fella?
Eli is not able to make this episode.
Unfortunately, we were talking about a death guard and he refused to be, he could smell
this from a mile away.
Um, it will be the next one.
Don't worry boys.
Uh, as I was saying though, so the laws of glass bar, basically essentially what the
modern 40 K imperium would turn out to be.
It was a small pocket empire and they're all much of the imperium was like, how are we
going to do this?
Cause they seem incredibly powerful and more Taurin and death guard bent.
So they went, that sounds cool.
How about we do it instead of 10 years?
Let's do it in a day.
So they basically, they basically launched meteors with rockets attached to the back
at their Capitol and they just hid behind them all the way until they rocketed down
and they showered them over the planet.
And essentially we're going straight for the head and they were trying to take off the
laws of glass bar.
And it begins this call of incredibly, uh, like rough and, uh, brutal battle where the
death guard fight besides more Taurin for the first time.
And they're making their way through this layers of this defense where every time the
book it peaks back to the laws of glass bar, they're basically going, this is impossible.
This shouldn't happen because it's basically breaking their psyche.
That's something could challenge them.
And they eventually do the death guard have a really, there's some cool scenes in this
book where it shows you their tactics.
So one moment the Gullis bar in like slave armies, like launching towards the death guard
and then suddenly like artilleries of poison clouds just launch upon them and the death
guard has run through their own poison clouds and then just start hacking the soldiers who
were choking down and more Taurin's like with them.
So it's actually quite a cool story and ACE, it basically ends up with more Taurin capturing
the law to glass bar.
He executes them.
And the reason it was so this one was chosen as more Taurin's like first adventure slash
first death guard, you know, Legion battle was because he kind of saw many similarities
between the overlords and the laws of glass bar.
It's like kind of tyrants and he hated it.
What Tyra's got a bit of a complex and when they leave, I'm attracted only a year later,
Horus and sanguineous.
So, you know, his brothers come to him.
They kind of talk about this is no victory.
This massive war because more Tyrain technically eliminated the lords of glass bar and like,
oh, he killed the tyrants and the death guard fought well, but they essentially didn't build
anything to replace it.
I think even sanguineous and Horus say like you cut off one thing with an overwhelming
power only for one.
You know, basically an overwhelming power was killed by another overwhelming power.
You didn't really do anything.
You just replaced it.
The egg, the egg didn't kill the overlords, unfortunately, but maybe Eli.
And it kind of would show you how the death card operate in a way in which they are very
much Horus perfect describes it as very obviously on the nose, but they are like they are the
reaper's scythe.
I think even Horus comments like you need to be sometimes the one who sows the grain,
not just reap the scythe too.
You need to build things in their place.
But that's kind of how the death guard would operate.
So much of the great crusade, they would often be an overwhelming force that would annihilate
enemies.
Oh, yeah, go ahead, Andy.
I would say there's a great quote from Ferris Manus who was like, Oh, there's like no one
I would want to fight less than the death guard because they were like they are just
ruthless and annoying bastards is something like that.
He's just like, No, like my Death Guard video.
I start with the quote from Ferris because it's like there's no one I'd rather not fight
than the death and no one I'd rather have with me than the death guard because they
are just difficult to deal with.
They are incredibly rich.
Okay, sorry.
I was just a high praise for Mr. Iron Hands.
Mr. Iron Hands, for the Iron Hands.
The legendarily difficult to impress one was like, Yeah, no, thanks.
No, thanks.
I don't want to do that.
I'm good.
Yeah, they they are incredibly resilient than known to endure toxins way beyond other Astartes.
And they are particularly ruthless, although many in the Legion such as the Terrans are
very much not happy with the direction, but they're like, eh, it kind of is what it is.
We're still building, you know, the Great Crusade slash Imperium of Man.
So it's okay.
We'll live and we'll make it.
It's all right, boys.
And this would continue for centuries.
And this would be the Great Crusade, Mortarion and the Death Guard fighting meant they would
be often sent to the outskirts.
I guess it's because obviously they weren't really a good symbol for the Imperium.
So they're kind of sent to fight the more horrific stuff.
This was all kind of building to another event in the Death Guard history, which was the
Ascension of Horus, the Warmaster would be an event where, you know, the galaxy sort
of Imperium changed.
Now they're all the Emperor's gone back to terror, but the Death Guard themselves, they're
kind of like, ah, we basically have to impress Horus now.
And then after this would be the Edict of Nikea.
The Death Guard themselves don't actually have any psychers within the Legion.
And you're probably thinking this boy might be thinking earlier, isn't that Kalas Typhon
guy who basically Mortarion say, didn't he use some psychic stuff earlier when they escaped
in the care and stuff?
Yeah, he did.
He's also a psychic, but it was one of the things that they didn't want to talk about
it him and Mortarion and even many other psychers within the Legion.
They were sort of shunted off to Kalas Typhon.
They're basically like, hush, hush, bro, we don't really want to mention it.
It's kind of like a shameful secret.
It'll be like one of the guys saying they did something disgusting in a night out once
and they just like, don't ever mention it again, please, brothers.
But it happens.
It happens.
Happens the best for us.
Sometimes you wake up on a bin and you don't know how.
Not relatable.
And very much this will build up to the Edict of Nikea, which was a big event in Imperial
history where essentially headed by Mortarion and the Death Guard and the Space Wolves,
they wanted to get rid of all psychers within the legions because they were like, that crap
is disgusting, my dude.
That really grinds my gears.
That's just awful.
They hate psychic powers.
The only time they ever see it is basically related to like Nikea and the overlords.
They were psychers.
They were tyrants.
Psychers are used as powerful machine, weapons of war.
People can't be trusted.
They would succeed though, and poor old Magnus would get himself slapped up silly and they
would lose the right to use psychic powers in the legions.
But then, so then, big L after this.
Someone said you have to have a very high IQ to understand Mortarion.
Shut up.
He is the definition of, also something like something on their shoulders, isn't it?
It's like he's got a chip on his shoulder.
He's very much the definition of chip on his shoulder.
Did you not get what that was referencing?
No, I didn't.
I'm just making Morty joke.
Oh, can I show off a piece of artwork?
I'm so lame.
I just need for a Mortarion and us.
You can share.
Share with the crowd.
There we go.
I don't know what to make of that.
It's beautiful.
It is beautiful and yet horrific.
Also like the Death God.
Disgustingly beautiful.
For those who are listening only to the audio, switch on the camera.
Watch it now.
But essentially though, so yeah, Death God, big W. They got rid of all psychers now and
they continue the great crusade.
This is when the next kind of event would hit them where Horus, good old Horus Lupercal,
favored son of the emperor would come to them and they'd be horrid say to Mortarion,
I need you bro, because I've got some I'm moving next week and I need you to come help
me move stuff.
Essentially, I think he's murder my dad.
Yeah, by moving.
Can you move this old get off of the old Golden Throne because he's not meant to be there.
But in all seriousness, he says to Mortarion and the Death God essentially that the emperor
is a psycho.
He's lied about the warp.
There are things in there.
The emperor is going to turn himself into a god.
The Death God are not in the future.
They're going to be torn down and forgotten like so many other Primarchs.
He's basically going to kill you.
He's going to hand over the Imperium to little old normal humans, weak humans that get ill
and stuff.
You can tell Mortarion and the Death God very much a yeah, no, that's not going to happen.
No.
Obviously, Mortarion always having a chip on his shoulder since failing to save his
Death God and his legion or his men on Barbarus from joining the Imperium.
He's always hated the emperor.
So he kind of went, all right, boys, it's Fortnite.
Where are we landing because he's about to land some heavy blows on the Imperium.
This would begin the first act of betrayal.
The kind of opening stages of the massive horrors heresy.
Good old Isfarn III, the sort of not quite the bigger number one, but this is also a
bit of a spicy dish.
Isfarn III would be where the Death God would purge themselves of all of the legionaries
whose loyalty to the emperor was way too much.
It's a bit too much.
You know, they were like, not happy with that bit to not enough.
See, I like this.
This is this is Mortarion.
But this is better.
And this is emperor.
They were like, we need to be.
There are no unions in the in the legionaries of studies.
Well, finally, there was one technically called the warrior lodge, which was there was a warrior
lodge.
It's not really a I guess it is a union.
Not really.
Well, I guess it's a union on the side of hell.
Yeah.
So for people listening, the the warrior lodges, the next layer of this, I suppose, of the
warrior lodges were that it was a group sort of started by good old our friend Erebus and
also helped by a good old typhon here.
And it was in a way for a legionary to meet within the legion.
And they basically would sort of hang out and they could not have their rank, you know,
get in the way of things.
It basically was like a nice night with the boys.
But it was a gentleman's club that turned into, oh, we've kind of got some secrets going.
And also we're spreading some funky ideas.
It's kind of a weird, you know, it was a bit like in celly sort of things will go, you
know, like that's the kind of vibe I had.
And then this would be this would be the kind of way it went.
And then it would spread.
I'll build bros.
Get an uncle pill bro.
What are you saying?
Where's your book?
And he would this was spread throughout the legions and it was sort of a testing ground
to see who was more emperor.
So who would wish funny enough, most of the most of the Terrans were a little bit more
loyal to the emperor than they were more Tarian who, you know, it was their Primarch, but
they weren't as huge a fan.
It's fun.
Three, the loyalist elements would be sent to the world and essentially be blown up and
hunted down by the death guards, leaving the Legion quote unquote pure.
And they would now be ready to start the proper Horus heresy.
This would then lead on to a good old is fan five, the massacre.
I won't go into too much detail on that because the basic the death guys end up fighting salamanders
and other kinds of things, but they didn't really do much.
And yeah, so after that, it's not really much for the free chat, the free chat, the free
legions that became the least represented in for the free chapters.
No one cares about except for the salamander.
There wasn't much story progression.
They were just kind of like a force to battle on is on five.
And then it goes, I will say it's I don't think it's it wasn't explicitly stated, but
I will defend the salamanders here.
It was a the theory that since you know, like fighting chaos, since they're beings made
of emotion, like guns are less effective than like swords and whatnot, because it's like
more personal than just the end of a gun.
So and I think like the theory goes because the salamanders are so good with fire.
It's like the it's a legion of cleansing flames that would be really good at chaos, which
is why they were targeted first.
That's just like I think like a fan theory, though.
But that was just like, you know, matters.
I'm just a bit bitter that the salamanders had so many books in the Horus heresy series
and none of them are particularly good as like, God damn it.
So much pain.
But speaking of something that isn't a good part of a book, I and he's going to quickly
dip out for a second here.
I will mention, though, which was Prospero Prospero was the homeworld of Magnus and the
Thousand Suns.
It's kind of looked like a bit of paste right now.
It was blown up, absolutely destroyed.
And but this is in the wake of this was destroyed by the Space Wolves.
And on Prospero, Mortarion and the Death Guard would confront Jagatai Khan.
And they basically went, yo, bro, you want to, you know, want to join up, hop in, join
us, you know, want to be part of the Tracers Club, because they are very much at this point,
the Death Guard are realizing, oh, man, we're going to destroy the evil emperor, get rid
of all the psychers.
And they looked to their left and to their right and they're going, oh, my God, we're
surrounded by psychers and chaos.
They saw the world leaders who were going a little bit nuts.
And then they looked over to the word bearers who were summoning demons left, right and
center.
They're like, I think we picked an emperor's children who were huffing people, snorting
people in dust.
And Jagatai at that point, like he had like no real clue what was going on because he
would always know.
No, Jagatai had no idea what was happening.
He just knew things were exploding that probably shouldn't be exploding.
He was surprised to see Mortarion and it was also a calculated plan by Mortarion to he
basically wanted to speak to Jagatai to basically say, I need an ally in this sort of traitor
fight.
And you know, Jagatai, you don't like the emperor too.
And Jagatai went, yeah, but you're worse.
And it would end up with a death guard sort of fighting with the White Scars for a bit.
And it was sort of rivalry between these two legions that would go on to be problems.
For Mortarion and the death guard next, they would have a small continuous fight in the
Battle of Dwell, which was another thing we'll probably tackle later.
It's like a sort of smaller campaign and also on the world of Moloch, where on Moloch, it
will be the first time that Mortarion would sort of his idea, excuse me, his ideas about
the legion and also this Horus heresy would start to change him.
So Mortarion in secret was starting to learn about sorcery and you're probably going, why
would he do that?
The mister hates all sorcery.
His excuse was that his legion and he had previously had interactions with demons, quote
unquote demons.
So he thought, if I can understand demons, just me, not my legion, I'll take the fall
for it.
I'll endure the disgusting things.
But if I learn about demons, I can better protect myself and the legion from them.
Not realizing that him relying on this weapon and tool would eventually lead him down the
road to hell.
I'm just imagining Big E.B. like we do not negotiate with the Emeterium.
Something Ezekiel Abdon said, I think Prospero was one of the coolest looking planets in
30k.
It's really, I mean, they've in the Thousand Suns book, the way it's described as like
a proper utopia and then it makes it extra, it makes it more tragic that when it's blown
up and like all the innocent people are like space wolfed, if you know what I mean.
That the quote unquote most intelligent Primarch turned his brain off for quite some time.
Oh, pain.
It was so pain.
Someone said looks at Comrade.
Poor old, leave Comrade Curse alone, he's had enough.
He deserves it.
He made statues out of people.
I think he deserves all of the shit coming towards him.
He did make a meat statue, to be fair.
Yeah, when you make a meat statue, you've lost all right to be upset.
When you've lost a meat, that was the lie, the meat statue.
He's the greenest of all the Primarchs, at least.
The greenest.
Oh, recycling.
Oh, yeah, that's because that's because litter is a crime and he would flay you alive from
that.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, yeah.
With that, speaking of more crimes, though, Mortarion wouldn't commit his commit his first
crime by summoning the demon slash possessed body of a previous death guard captain called
Ignatius Gruegel, which had I think it was the Life Eater virus trapped within him, basically
a Nurgle demon thing.
And the way he would summon this, actually, by he he Mortarion very reluctantly killed
his Death Stroud elite Terminator guard as a sacrifice to bind this demon to his control.
He sees it as like a kind of sacrifice for the Legion to understand this power and bind
it to him.
But he again, like killed seven of his sons and also the Death Stroud, by the way, his
elite Terminator guard.
They don't talk.
So it was like even if one of them survived, he couldn't say anything.
Way though, he became a loyalist.
What was his name?
Let me just check my phone.
Oh, it's like another kai for his name was Korak.
K-H-O-R-A-K. He became the death guard, as we all know, famously got away.
No, that's fake.
But I don't know.
He escaped and he was like, I don't agree with this.
And he just escaped.
He's like, oh, I'm a Death Stroud.
And I'm now going to be one of the the the the guys who are like, oh, we're not loyalists
or traitors.
We're we're in the middle.
We're too.
We're great.
Jedi.
Yeah, someone says the algorithm definitely pushes carpet power washing to me on a daily
basis basis.
Some of the best videos out there.
Thank you, my dude.
Appreciate that.
Listen, I promise is a thing we're going to.
So I'm going to watch this.
We're going to watch the video.
I just don't get it.
We believe you.
We just want to join you in this.
It's ASMR.
I swear you enjoy it.
Everyone.
Everyone's got their niche thing they're into.
True.
We're into World War Hammer fans.
Yeah.
Speaking of niche or not really a niche thing.
Good old.
Oh, I'm going to join a reset the loop.
And we have an hour loop for people who are looking on.
We have an hour loop of nice background laws.
So if you're wondering, hang on a minute, pretend there's all magic.
I will start again.
So we begin.
So we continue on with a Moloch.
Moloch is where Mortarion would essentially summon this demon and it would essentially
help them conquer the planet.
Moloch is very well defended by the Imperium.
Lots of night houses on it.
And Mortarion Death Guard would land.
They'd basically be put behind this forest and the Imperial defense is like, nothing
can get through the forest.
How the hell would they ever clear a path?
So Mortarion sent the demon to basically.
I mean, they didn't resurrender yet, but they, Mortarion sent Ignatius Gruegel, the demon
in like a rhino, like a head of the army.
And it was basically his corruption would clear a path through the forest.
Eventually the Death Guard and Mortarion would see Horus in the planet's capital of Lupicalia.
Horus would famously walk through the warp portal and then emerge seconds later as the
proper War Master Horus corrupted by chaos and as powerful as the Emperor.
Mortarion and the Death Guard kneel because they kind of go, oh my God, that's the scariest
thing I've ever seen.
And also they think that's it.
In their mind, the way I rationalized it was they go, now that's a guy who's got chaos
and turned it into the perfect tool.
So they kind of go, that's the ideal.
But also it's a very weird moment where you kind of think, why did Mortarion kneel?
He's not really a kneeler.
That's kind of his whole thing is he was against kneeling to the Emperor.
But again, different writers.
But that would be Moloch.
And this was kind of semi early on in the Horus heresy.
And as we get a little bit further in the Horus heresy, it gets worse.
Surprising.
Mortarion would begin to quote unquote experiment with warp stuff.
So he made like weird grenades and things.
Again, a lot of it was kept from the Legion or if they saw parts of it, they kind of didn't
really understand what was going on.
He'd hush them up like, no, don't worry about it.
Don't talk about it.
Don't worry.
And it would, I mean, at some points as well, like Mortarion himself, it says many times
he would do the experiment and then he would smash up the laboratory because he was so
annoyed and disgusted by what he was seeing.
But then eventually his curiosity would come back as maybe I need to investigate.
So this would eventually build up to a battle slash another confrontation with the White
Scars.
The White Scars have been running rings around everyone, but at this point they'd finally
been sort of curtailed and pushed in a little bit and they've been surrounded.
Mortarion joins up with elements from the Emperor's children.
He looks at them.
They're like, that's disgusting.
Like, my God, that guy has got multicolored nostril hairs.
Like, and this is the weirdest combo.
His skin is all wax and his whole body like formed to look like someone being flayed.
It's like, it was weird.
It gets funky in Warhammer.
And essentially they agreed to basically take on the Khan and the rest of the White Scars
fleet because they have no escape.
And so Mortarion and the Death Guard pummel towards him.
It's this massive like sort of open naval battle.
But the only problem is they're all like confident, the Emperor's children, so they race on ahead.
So it's kind of separating.
It's kind of showing you how the traitors, even at this point, the legions can't really
work together.
They continue to be terrible at cooperation.
They're just like, I'm just doing it myself.
Like you idiots.
Yeah.
Work together.
Nah, it's not my thing.
It's very much like, it reminds me of that joke I heard.
I don't know if I'll tell it correctly, but it reminds me of like the three, no, four
cannibals they applied to work at a job.
And they, the guy hiring manager says, okay, fine.
You can work here as long as you don't eat anyone.
And they're like, oh, of course, no problem, no problem.
And then months go by and eventually the manager says, have you guys seen the janitor?
He's gone missing.
Like we can't find him.
And then he brings in the four cannibals.
They're like, no, no, we haven't seen anyone.
The hiring manager goes outside and then the four cannibals go, the turn to one guy and
go, I can't believe you did that.
Listen, we've been eating the CEO's, the HR department, and now you finally eat someone
they're going to miss.
So to condense is like if Colin was an ultra Marine, I was in PO office and we were defending
so far, I'm just like, a start is together strong.
And that's, that's the lawyer, this ethos, which is dumb.
But yeah, they were not strong because the elements of the Legion, they just couldn't
really pull their finger out their arse and like put their petty egos aside.
Fine off.
That's a bit of a theme and work together.
Eventually the white scars would open up a portal behind them, basically into the web
way.
It's an absolute, they were not, the tradesmen not expecting it.
It's like, oh crap.
So they rush on ahead.
But Mortar in kind of catches up to a Jagatars flagship.
He teleports on and there's nothing there.
He's like, it's pretty empty.
I don't get what's going on.
And as we said earlier, the saggy on Mazhar, the kind of the death, you know, the, the
marked for dead white scars, all hundred of them just basically jump off the top roof
and they basically go for an RKO sort of thing.
They do the king thing.
They just go for Jagatai and they just run in.
Yeah.
Ah, get them.
And they have, they have no chance because it's Mortar in and his debt, his new desk
route.
Funny enough, he kind of got rid of the old ones.
Wonder where that went.
Um, didn't sweep under the carpet properly, um, but he would eventually confront the saggy
on Mazhar.
They died heroically.
They basically, and the flagship of the white scars would be sacrificed.
The white scars would get away.
I think.
Am I remembering a bit where I think Mortar is looking down at maybe Shibu or one of the
other white scars and he's like, you've all failed or laughing and he's like, yeah, they're
all there.
It was said more time could all hit them in the death.
God, they could hear them laughing the entire time.
The white scars, they were like, even when they were just about to die, they're like,
that's me.
They're like, it's got something in your nose on your shirt.
And it's like, it just knows up.
Um, but they were like, got your nose even to the end.
They did a proper got your nose and the worst cause will get away.
The worst guys would get away and the death guard were like, Hey, they're like, Oh God,
that's embarrassing.
They were already, they were already the only one Legion who is not fully corrupted at this
point.
So they kind of like the way they were looking like outsiders to the rest of the pit, the
group, shall we say.
And then this would sort of be the mid Horus heresy towards the end of the Horus heresy.
They just been conquering planet after planet.
They've been separate from all the other Legions.
They just, everyone's been on their own kind of doing their own thing.
You know what I mean?
Everyone's gone to university or college and they've kind of changed.
Someone's got a new hairstyle or whatever.
They will come back different.
And this would be where they would get the call and sent you Horus is going it's time
dude.
So everyone puts down that, you know, it's, it's basically the boys are back in town.
It's time to get the gang back together for the push on terror.
And the Legion itself would reform and someone would appear who Mortarin hadn't seen in ages.
He'd been trying to call him for like forever.
This guy just wouldn't pick up his calls.
He's kind of getting a bit annoyed.
And this was good old callous Typhon.
Typhon himself had basically been ignoring Mortarin for the entire Horus heresy and basically
been doing his own thing with his own section of the Legion and all these little other parts
of the Legion would re-knit together.
And I believe Typhon would ask Mortarin to, Hey, come aboard my ship, the Terminus Est,
and we'll go into the warp slash meet Horus as a sign of unity.
You know, trust me bro.
That ship, there's no worries.
Don't mind the smell.
What, what gurgling?
I'm not gurgling.
I'm not making any noise.
Oh yeah.
And like, I'm gonna hear like fly noises and he's like Typhon looks a little bit weird.
He looks a little bit ill.
He's looking at it.
Yeah.
And someone said, is it MAS 20 says Morty deserves redemption.
No, he doesn't.
He's not.
He can't redeem someone who doesn't think they've ever done anything wrong.
Burn the moth man with a giant thing that they fly into.
Yeah, that blue thing.
I mean, compared to some of the other traders, he deserves it.
Oh yeah.
I mean, surely the, the thing, you know, that, uh, is it the Pixar?
Is it bugs life was just like, buddy, don't go into the light.
Like I can't help it.
And that should just be more Tarian and like some device.
Uh, yeah, but Mortar in himself.
So, so it was a bit of a mess with Typhon here clearly, but he saw stop and he's like,
you guys, you know, you've been ignoring me for like literally seven years.
He's like, no problem, bro.
It's all good.
So good.
So he kind of swallows it.
It's kind of that friend who comes to my pings, bro.
He's kind of like that friend who constantly gets let down.
So he's very much a, like, he's like used to it.
I'm really dogging on this, but, um, the Legion is whole again and, uh, what Taran joins Typhon
on his ship and they all get the, they hold hands and they basically enter the walk together
and go to meet Horus.
But it goes wrong immediately.
Um, some big energy shock waves are going across the fleet and then people like, again,
there's like, as, um, Colin mentioned earlier, uh, Typhon says, ah, there's been a plot.
I'll find out what happens.
And so he goes, searches over the fleet and he brings, um, Mortar and all of the, um,
navigators for people who are listening, navigators, the ones who help them get through the walk
and they basically sort of navigate the ties, the immaterium and hell itself.
And Typhon executes them immediately without trial or anything like that.
And Mortar even gets close, he grabs him by his gorget lifts him up like a naughty child
and like, what are you doing?
And then essentially Typhon says, see, they were going to launch us into a sun.
They're all traitors.
Me and the psychers of the Legion, we can guide the ships.
It's fine.
But obviously they're very much like, we don't really use the psychers.
That's like kind of the weird kids, but the icky boy and, um, they, it more times like,
well, we have no choice now and things start to go wrong.
People start to get sick on the ships and Mortar and finds, I think it's Zuriak, a
Legionary gets sick.
So the death guard, like, and then he even tries to kill Zuriak.
He like stabs him in the chest cause Zuriak is literally, um, rioting with every disease
known imaginable.
It's just a bit where the dreadnought is all like, our brother is sick.
We need to tend to him.
And he's like chatting to him.
And then all of a sudden he starts getting sick and he's a dreadnought.
He's like, well, I'm in this thing.
I'm not going to get sick.
He's like, Oh no, Oh no.
It's like, Oh God.
And Mortar goes, fine.
I'll put him out of his misery.
I'll kill this guy.
Stab him through the chest only for the guy to wake up, pull the knife out.
And it's all rusted.
And then basically got like, ah, like mewling at him crying.
And then Mortarians like basically walks away, like we'll find a solution.
But in his mind he's going, Oh shit, oh shit.
He's like basically losing it.
Cause in his mind he's like, the death guard don't get sick.
This is impossible.
Essentially the entire death guard Legion now, they're all getting sick and they're
all starting to, even Mortarians have like boils and he feels like the battle in his
bloodstream even says, and he's at this point, his suspicion of Typhon and like what's been
going on so far is just reached breaking point.
And so he goes to confront Typhon only for Typhon to turn around and basically appear
out of the dark in the navigator chambers, like all bloated and disgusting.
And they say, go, what do you mean?
This is what we were always meant to do.
And Mortarians like, what do you mean?
Always meant to do.
Like, this is the path of the grandfather.
And then Mortarians like, Oh crap, this is bad.
Get us out of the warp now.
And then he beat him in his death shroud.
They rush Typhon and his grave wardens, which are essentially his guards.
And Mortarians surprised by like how much strength Typhon has.
Like he's just a, they never actually fought each other and they've been best, they've
not been essentially best mates for a long time, but their friendship kind of dies in
that moment.
And Mortarians like, that's a friendship right there.
Yeah, when your friend like completely submits you to the forces of hell and you weren't
even willing.
Hang on a minute.
You gave me the pox.
We're not friends anymore.
When your friend gives you small pox, it's a bit controversial.
And so Mortarian was fighting Typhon and Mortarians like, I should have killed him by now.
This is a bit tough.
Eventually does impale him only for him to just wake up again.
Like, you know, basically call the ambulance, but not for me essentially.
And Typhon wakes up again.
Mortarians like, I don't know how to fight this.
Everyone around me is like dying in this disease everywhere.
So Mortarian unleashes a weapon he hasn't wanted to touch for a long time.
He sends out the good old demon Ignatius Grulgur, the one that he used on Moloch to like, you
know, carve out that planet for them.
He basically goes, you know, get him boy.
And Ignatius does exactly what he wants.
He does.
He kills Kalas Typhon in front of him.
Mortarians like, Oh, thank God.
Only for Kalas Typhon to essentially rise again as Typhus, reborn as the herald of Nurgle
and as he's basically a corrupted demon sort of thing.
And Mortarians like, Oh, he's like, this is the worst day ever.
Literally, my sons are dying.
The only thing I care about are my sons.
That's the only thing I have is my death guard and they're dying and only for them for him
to turn around and then he sees a god.
He sees Nurgle.
And it gets, it gets really weird here where essentially time, like the whole death guard
legion fleet is stuck in the embrace of Nurgle's like personal attention and they're all like
suffering and dying.
Time itself starts to overlay and flux in the warp where Mortarians are to see the point
of when he failed to kill N'Kerr and the emperor offering, you know, to him offering his legions
to the emperor.
And it all overlaps with the present of when he's sort of made to kneel by Nurgle and
Mortarians has to echo the words he had said then and now, which was that he wanted to
endure.
He was willing to do anything to save his sons.
And so then with his oath given in blood, he starts to transform and he sprouts like,
you know, wings and these body bulges and convulses and it's, you know, passes everywhere.
Thanks to all the death guard legionaries, they are all healed from their sickness and
they feel pretty good, but they are all turned into the horrific plague Marines that you
know and love today.
And it's a pretty, I mean, the transformation is described as very much like they are just
like things just bulge out of them, like insects ripple over them and it's disgusting and horrific
and sticky, a bit sticky.
Yeah.
I mean, obviously we don't want to get into it.
So obviously it's,
His expression was priceless.
We're not going to get into it, but let's just say liquids were involved.
Obviously we've been watching Colin there for a while and just going, it's a sticky
word.
As this is perfect.
I don't know why the sticky description is what drove it over the edge for you, but
for some reason that was like the straw that broke the camel's back.
I think,
Gross and moist.
Oh God.
I think Jack Dawes,
You did it again, brother.
Jack Dawes put, when your bro gives you aids, it's very much the same.
Just a prank, bro.
It's just a prank, bro.
Just a goof.
What do you mean?
Why, why are you not laughing?
It's just a bubonic plague.
I don't know what the big deal is.
When you can't be bonic with your homies, are you even homies?
That's a real question.
And the Legion at this point is now corrupted by Nergal.
All of them kind of, they don't really understand what Nergal is, but they just, they sort of
learn to like their new form.
They are stronger, more enduring than they ever have been before.
And the ones that kind of resist like Mortarion in his soul, they actually feel the pain,
but the ones that very much submit to the corruption, they're like, oh, I'm so happy.
This is amazing.
I love it.
The Legion would then go on to emerge with horror.
You know, they'd like emerge in front of Horus, like, oh, the Death Guard are here.
Oh my God.
What is that smell?
Oh, that bit where Mortarion goes on the vengeful spirit and like Horus is keeping it together.
Abaddon is barely keeping it and everyone else is just vomiting, they're like, he smells
it.
Everyone starts immediately like, like someone just blew up the room.
Malogor is just like, and he's just everywhere on the floor.
No one wants to be cast sitting next to them in the middle of meetings.
The thing is, it's like, as soon as he enters the chamber, it's a big, you know, like 40k
architecture, it's massive.
Oh, they're massive.
As soon as he doors, it's like, and then like Horus is like, and Abaddon's like, and everyone
else is just vomiting furious.
It's very much being stuck in an airplane with someone who was ruining the toilet.
It was horrific to be in their presence.
They are, literally the word disgusting, resilient is the best way to, perfect way to encapsulate
them.
And, I just would like, so like, obviously, you know, they didn't, they didn't realize,
you know, the stench until the doors open.
And then it was like, oh my God, but like, imagine the guards outside the door were just
standing there like 15 minutes straight.
What is that horrible smell?
And the death guard walks in.
Literal suet.
I feel sorry for the Labour service who have to like mop up all the sons of Horus vomit
like, thank you, they don't pay me enough.
They don't pay me.
I'm indentured.
Oh, this is terrible.
Thank you, Devin Griffin for the average magic, the gathering convention.
What book is that meeting in again?
That's the very end of the buried dagger, which is the last book.
There's a lot of nice air and stuff in it, but someone said the airplane shit in the
news recently.
There was that there was a flight turned around because someone had ruined the aisle.
Didn't they?
That's enough detail for that one.
But the death guard are here.
They stink.
They smell so bad.
And they are ready to ruin the emperor's day.
And from their perspective, they it's like, they want to take the emperor of the golden
throne more trying to want to all his secrets.
He doesn't care anymore.
He wants all the things denied to him.
And the death guard also want to usurp the emperor and maybe even appease the good old
grandfather Nurgle, because why not?
And with the seizure of terror, they would be given the honor that they would promise
to them long ago, which was they'd be the first to land upon terror.
They'd fight in many battles here.
They would obviously be party to some of the joint operations with Pertorabo.
And they would also famously there'll be the duel between Nathaniel Garrow and Mortarion.
I don't want to get too much detail of that just because that's their personal stories.
And so we want to cover that probably in their own videos at some point.
And there'll be a duel between those old death guard Nathaniel Garrow and what will be what
they became, which is Mortarion and the death guard in the modern ones.
The next part of the seizure of terror for them would be that just then being on the
planet, by the way, also spread a sort of sense of dread and would drain people to the
point that the defenders were almost giving up.
And this is when we had the famous Sally from the White Scars who would try and kick Mortarion
and the death guard out of the spaceport.
And a slight part to mention here, the death guard at this point are starting to fracture
where Andy's enjoying the any mention of White Scars.
Yeah, I'm having fun.
And the death guard themselves are fracturing at this point because there's a clear line
between those who believe that Typhus is now the leader of the death guard and those who
believe it's Mortarion.
Obviously, Mortarion is their Primarch, but Typhus is the herald of Nurgle.
And Typhus is the one who brought them into Nurgle's embrace, where the Mortarion is like,
actually, it was my decision in the end.
Thank you very much.
Excuse me.
And there's some combativeness between them.
Typhus is off somewhere, not helping.
But the White Scars do Sally out and there's like a massive battle between them in the
spaceport, multiple layers of like, essentially, there's a cool point where it's like the White
Scars have to fight in twos to take down a single death guard because they're so like
bloated and huge.
So like basically two White Scars having to like basically clog one death guard and a
legion of tanks as well with the White Scars.
It's a very cool scene from the book.
Basically, Mortarion and Jagatai Kahn do fight.
Mortarion completely outmatches him for most of it.
He's just kind of smashing him.
But Jagatai Kahn is playing on his insecurities and his sort of flaws in his personality.
He mentions at one point, I should have fought the true Legion Master, Kalas Typhon, and
Mortarion just loses it.
And he basically impales Jagatai, but then Jagatai just pulls himself down the blade
and basically snaps off Mortarion's neck because he got sloppy and Mortarion is banished back
into the war.
That's a cool neck he got there.
Be ashamed if you were to lose it.
That's a nice neck he got there.
Don't think I can see it because it's all blubbery and disgusting, but he's very much
I think like literally white.
It's like he slashes his dowel across and it explodes in black blood.
It's disgusting.
And the death guard themselves, they feel like Mortarion leave.
Basically, he leaves the material universe like, oh crap.
And it would actually sort of represent the point where the death guard like splinters
into different bands and chaos war bands.
Eventually Typhus would sort of go, hey, I'm still on terror.
Funny that Mortarion was all alone and got banished.
That's crazy.
I guess I'll have to lead.
You know, what a wild ride.
You know, crazy bro.
This would eventually lead to the end of the Siege of Terror where they would like all
the legions where Horus would fail and die and they'd be pushed into the Eye of Terror.
They'd be, I find that Mortarion obviously awakens as a demon Primarch now within the
warp and he's basically gone.
The loudest fuck you could ever scream like, ah, like he just yelled because he's like,
I can't get back in the material universe.
It's I missed the Siege of Terror.
But he sort of is a statement of irony that Mortarion would then go on to forge a planet
for himself in the warp, a demon world where it's basically a copy of Barbarous, where
he lives as like the overlord on top of a mountain.
So he basically became Nikair, like his the overlord, you know, abusive slash, you know,
adoptive father in the end.
It's like poetry.
They rhyme.
Yeah.
He sort of, I mean, it's also do with Mortarion wanting to be a hero in his own story.
As much as he thinks he's one.
And the Death Guard themselves are sort of shatter, not hugely amount, but a lot of them
sort of split into war bands.
This is now where it would continue to the modern 40k timeline.
Again, we mentioned earlier instances of the Death Guard fighting Tao sort of everywhere.
Even just one Death Guard is kind of a problem because they spread like plague and disease
everywhere they go.
They are completely fully corrupted by Nergal.
They all enjoy their grandfather's blessings.
There's a few of them have different nice schemes.
So it's like the traditional Death Guard colors of like, you know, the sort of rusted cream
white and then the green shoulders.
But then there's also ones like with green covering like sort of sickly Death Guard green
as the model color.
And see in the visual we got going the baby vomit green, a nice lovely baby vomit green
white.
But over time, it's going a little bit moldy.
And you never clean your armor.
And so the Death Guard now essentially become their modern 40k iterations.
I do believe I think at this point, though, we will sort of talk about their tabletop
stuff and a little bit about some of the units and how they kind of feels to play them.
But that's essentially is sort of the they're like small smashes.
There's a good book, The Lords of Silence, but I would love to do a video specifically
about that explains how no corruption is just so invasive and how it rewires your mind.
But essentially is the what the entire story of the Death Guard is currently to their modern
40k timeline.
I think now we're going to do a quick question.
No, no, the question big question of the week.
We're bringing it back boys.
Some of your previous comments.
Okay, so before we start, can I get one last comment in about the Death Guard and whatnot?
Yes, of course.
This is more general complaining about Mortarion.
I don't mind Mortarion.
I don't hate him.
I feel resoundingly whatever towards him.
Hey, and I brought this up before.
I hate that necromancy in the setting was wasted on his fucking backstory.
It is adopted.
That's the necromancers and we're done with necromancy.
That's it.
Everyone.
It should be used something like I was we said a lot about Eldar that like because they
have access to like the the dead is it be an elder thing like heroes of an old age
in two ways now both race like race units and the Ynari.
Of course, that wouldn't even mean the Ynari need good lore and that's that's just not
happening.
Yeah, I don't think a Ynari podcast episode is coming anytime soon.
I feel like there's also an angle you could go maybe the elder both through Kari and elder
elder could say rather than be claimed by Slaanesh I'll be a frall.
Like that could be a narrative thing where they say, well, it's better than being part
of Slaanesh.
I'll just become a zombie elder.
Like surely that's an avenue someone could explore is like, well, it's pick your poison
neither is particularly good.
Great.
But yeah, on death is better than eternal torment.
There's maybe something there to be fair.
I'll just let people know as well for the next question of the week we will post that
in the as like a pinned comment underneath here just for for him obviously we'll answer
that then next time.
I think is it over to Andy I think for the question of the week.
I'm going to share the first one.
So the first one is from Joe Ken.
I hope you can all see this hashtag retirement.
This was from our Sebastian Yarik video.
hashtag retirement I'd retire our farious omega and so we could get a monitorium moratorium
on the I am our farious means also we maybe find out which one Dom killed.
So I think that's Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn Dawn
he killed Dom.
No, not Dom.
Yeah, he just so we can like clear up what's going on with him.
He killed our fari Alpharius.
We're done with it.
He killed Alpharius.
I don't care.
Maybe you make a lesson.
Okay, like the problem isn't our fari's with the problem.
The one the fans with a problem with we ruined the our fari's but it's actually kind of cool
in the books.
We ruined it.
Yeah, but she W leans into where they go.
Maybe you wasn't.
You know, we miss our hearts.
So we just go maybe who knows we don't have an answer for you at every fucking opportunity.
You get a baby rage about I am baby raging again.
It is to vet it should have been like using a couple of time they do overdo it a little
bit.
I'll give them that.
Question number two is from at Halo master 21 hashtag retirement, the entire Lamentous
chapter I think they deserve some rest.
But let's be honest, wherever they retire to will probably be attacked by tyrannids
within a week.
Bro, I know I think that's I mean, I can't point out anything wrong with the statement.
I know anything wrong.
I think retirement would be nice for them.
But they just they would it would it would go wrong.
Bad.
It would die.
Devin Griffin, by the way, they should bring over Mr. Nagash to 40k big true, big true
bring the bone man in one universe is not enough for him.
Bone Daddy cannot hold his two universes wasn't enough.
He cannot hold in that ego any longer.
Just saying he's he's doing a much better job of being a skeleton god than the Emperor
is just saying true.
So number three is from rarest Pepe 3815 hashtag retirement, I will retire the Inquisition
and the Adeptus Ministerum because I want to make the TTS timeline canon.
I mean, it would be funny in our hearts, you know, but also the Adeptus Ministerum would
find off when that collapse the Imperium quicker than anything else.
Well, you say that.
I think the saw that saw that hashtag retirement, I would retire the administration.
I have a nothing would happen because of how bloated the organization is.
Well, the Imperium would collapse in a week.
Either would be funny.
There you go.
I see.
Yeah, it probably is a coin flip on that.
Who knows?
I think my neighbor is our forest.
Your neighbor is our forest.
You wouldn't know it.
I want you to root out our forest and let us know.
Well, Mr. Asakala Abedan, you should hit your neighbor in the face with a brick.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
legally.
This is a joke.
And I don't mean that base.
Trust me, Morty, trust me.
So I was doing the voice like, trust me, Morty, you got to kill all your navigators.
I'm going to kill you.
I saw the new clip of the new voice actor.
I don't know what's going on.
It was Rick beating up or tied up Rick in a chair.
But new voice actor is pretty good for Rick.
It's pretty convincing, isn't it?
I don't know if they'll bring the old guy, Justin, roll him back.
Probably not.
I think that one might be off the table.
Too volatile.
That escalated.
Thank you, Jack.
That escalated quickly.
I think the last bit we'll finish on here, though, is just a bit of discussion on tabletop
stuff.
So I think over to you, Colin, just for a little bit on in terms of their tabletop flavor
and what kind of good stuff.
I would be happy to.
And I would also like to say that this is my do or don't for them.
Please never ask again for the rest of my channel.
Oh, you have to do it one time.
I'm sure at some point I'm going to do it.
But this is this is where I'm going to point everyone to in the for the foreseeable future.
So that being said, a little bit of just some basic stuff about them on the tabletop.
The best thing to know about them, tough and tanky as all hell, especially against small
arms fire, you are going to shoot them and then they're going to laugh.
And that's going to be the end of it.
They have kind of do it as I do.
They have the Poxwalkers pretty low tier scuff scrub unit.
But they do have a five up feel no pain.
And every time they kill a model, they get another they get a dead Poxwalker back.
So that's good.
Typhus has a two up save.
The average plague Marine.
Don't tell me I close that out.
I did not.
Good.
The average plague Marine is a three up save their vehicles are three up saves everything
except like the cultists and the Poxwalkers has a two or three up save.
So if you want tanky, you want the death guard.
They can lower enemy toughness.
They can do shenanigans like that.
They have auras where if they get close, that's what lowers the toughness.
Pardon me, some of the command abilities are similar, infecting enemy units so they're
easier to kill.
There's some regeneration stuff they got going on some cool stuff like that.
As for reasons you don't like them, you know, Eli did ask me to complain about them on the
table.
I have a few to add to that as well.
By all means.
But biggest downside, they're not going anywhere at any time fast.
They're probably I think they are the slowest army in the game.
It would make sense.
Yeah, four or five inches of movement is standard for them.
Like they have their vehicles and I think the demon prince is a bit quicker.
But other than that, the death guard armies are not going anywhere anytime fast.
If only they could one on all fours.
Yeah, which is a which is a problem that or they have that lowers toughness.
Well, you got to be close to them to lower your toughness.
And it is not hard to not be close to the death guard with four inches of movement.
It's not going to it's not a challenging thing to handle.
It especially makes me want to die because I play Eldar who have five million different
tricks to make their movement quicker.
And then the death guard just have to waddle across the table.
So that makes me physically ill to think about playing them, which I suppose is fitting,
you know, for the death guard.
It makes me sick.
I do have to say that they're unique sort of faction rule of the it's the capping points
and spreading contagion from CP places.
It's so boring compared to a lot of the other ones like Thousand Sons have obviously got
the Kabbalistic ritual.
I've got like a full data slate thing about what I can do.
Whereas the death guard are basically just stinky.
Like lower toughness stuff.
Oh, the nation from Dragon Master outcast for eight ninety nine New Zealand dollars saying
the books will continue until morale improves.
Thank you or not.
I think I did someone say like I have a question which was was there anything that the emperor
could have done differently in his interaction with Mortarion?
Like could he have done something to help?
Oh, it'll be a little bitch.
It more the emperor could on a lot different.
But I think it's a problem with a lot of the other later found primarchs, which is like
the emperor essentially was like, you know, it's nice, you know, having this all reunion.
But hurry up.
We're on a schedule.
It's time to get moving.
I've done this 15 times already.
I do not care.
I think someone else is on its way.
It's a common.
I think CJ Kicks did also put out if law crimes had a week, could they name basically everything
that the emperor could have done differently?
Yeah, we could bring it in a week series.
Maybe squeeze it into a week.
Should have what the emperor should have worked on his parenting skills, maybe even worked
on his own dysfunctions and been a better father.
True, but he wasn't really a father.
He was essentially a general.
Yeah, general father.
Well, he had a good relationship with a few of his sons to an extent like Gilliam and
he was just like, oh, he's the more the more well adjusted.
He was like, oh, that's fine.
They take care of themselves.
I don't need to put any work into you.
This is good.
You're perfect.
Go on.
Do your thing.
You are you are baked to perfection.
You're fine.
Dawn, what lovely armor.
I like the flattery to copy me.
That's fine.
Go for it.
Keep going.
Jack tight.
Bog is Kiwi.
We're cool.
Let's keep going.
That's cool.
So when is the next one?
So when is the halo tier list?
It's a halo.
I'm pretty sure halo is in the works boys.
Don't worry.
I don't see a tier list of like best maps and I think Colin made a noise I've never
heard him make before.
Has to be S tier or I know of course.
Well, of course, we get some box in the chat.
Just just everyone.
Bok, Bok, Bok, Bok.
The Lizardmen are here.
I hate Soros.
I hate them.
I also say about that, isn't the bite as of current time recording, the optimal death
guard list is basically just Rhinos, Death Guard, Plague Marines.
Yeah, it's just it's just Rhinos and Plague Marines.
There's nothing else.
There's no there's no there's nothing else to do.
Your army's basically just like Mortarian is a I mean, he's a demon Primarch.
So obviously he's going to hit.
He's going to hit goodly.
But you're also paying out the ass for that if you want a demon Primarch.
And I guess one last flaw is that they do not handle for as endurance base as they are.
They do not handle like Melta and stuff very good.
Small arms firing like lasguns, bolters.
Don't even worry about it.
Just keep walking through that.
But they do not have when I was scrolling through their rules, not many feel no pains
or invulnerable saves to go around Mortarian has one.
Yeah, I don't think even Typhus.
I don't think he even has a they lost a lot of their enduring abilities from night.
Yeah, which so like like dependent like that depends on the army, of course, which like
Imperial Guard, especially infantry base guard, you're going to have a grand old time walking
through five million guardsmen and just ignoring them.
When when someone breaks out the Melta weapons, though, not a whole lot you can do about that.
Like, I think it was a demon prince, I think was the death guard demon prince.
He gives units close to him a six up feel no pain, feel no pain save, which is helpful,
but it's on a six up like.
Yeah, it's like the worst end of it.
Oh, Anthony.
Anthony, again, since Eli isn't here, Colin should continue the stream edition of Eat
a Raw Egg.
But more more seriously, love you guys.
Keep up the great work.
Thank you very much.
Thank you so much, Anthony.
That's very generous of you.
Appreciate that a lot, brother.
I also I do hate to disappoint you.
I don't think there's an egg in my house right now, though.
I know I have 12 in mind for a fact.
Don't don't volunteer yourself.
I'm just stating how many eggs I know I have in my cupboard.
Thank you very much.
But here's a question though, with a table of what's the thing with death guard deployments
now?
Is it sets of five?
They have to be deployed.
I don't know.
Oh, squad numbers.
Oh, was it all you can buy them in as far I think you in squads of five and 10.
But then you buy them in sevens.
Yeah, like painting phase did a whole bit they were like, oh, they they're deployable
in like this Mount.
I think it's like you have to buy them in threes or sevens and it's like you need to buy double the amount
To have enough to deploy. It's it's it's the same reason hot dogs and hot dog buns don't have the same amount per package
It's to get you to buy more
I didn't know that was a thing. I didn't know that yeah hot dog buns
I think like hot dogs are in like packages of 12 buns are in packages of 10
I mean, i'm or maybe it's the other way around. It's been a while
I've not had a hot dog in a while. I've gone out of my way to buy hot dogs that weren't just from a fast food joint
That reminded me
I'm just eating hot dogs now. I'm sorry
You've given both me and Hal an existential crisis. PTSD hot dogs
That reminded me though of the final thing to complain about for the death guard on the tabletop. I hate their combat patrol box sucks
Oh damn
It is uh, it's typhus which on the one hand you get typhus. That's good
but that kills any re-viability of it because
You can't have more than one typhus. Yeah. Yeah, you get one
uh, it has
I don't even remember what the unit is called
I think it's supposed to be like an apothecary
Biologus putrefier. I don't know what that means
Uh, seven plague marines, there's a horrible number and 30 pox walkers
I yeah, I would like some marines with my trader marine legion, please games workshop
Yeah, although to that in as a last sort of saving grace is that the death guard models do look good
They on the tabletop you've got an army. That's
Relatively like up to date and it looks good and you can paint it like I mean even if you paint it wrong
Like you don't know how to paint like he's like, oh, I'm new. I don't know what i'm doing
You can still paint them relatively well
you can have each other good go because them looking like messed up and inconsistent is
They're looking a bit rough around the edges. It's kind of the appeal like yeah
They actually they're the easiest army to paint just shit and then use that to paint them
I like the idea that you just like you finger paint them in like greed and then just like dunk them in custard and go like
There we go. You would it would taste disgusting
Go to the bathroom dunk it in the toilet and there's your paint
Thank you, uh saint named slick saint named
Slick back who says no way they got mf doom on the part
Um, so you can convert typhus to a lord of contagion because you can't even buy that anymore you can't buy the lord of contagion
Huh?
I'm scrolling through their uh web store right now. I do not see a lord of contagion
I see lord felthius and his tainted court, which I don't like any of the words in that sentence
It's the taint bit that gets you like, uh
I don't want to I don't want to buy that that and the word the name felthius not a fan
Collin's done a grand sponsorship with bad dragons, right?
No, it was adam and eve different
We're not currently sponsored by adam and eve but uh
He was hoping uh, someone said uh reminds them of the um, I guess it's the combat troll combat patrol for the thousand sons
I got that one too with the with the loss of the sangho
Honestly to that I I sang you only like this is you need ten of them at most for a bat cap and it's fine
I mean to say is you still save a lot of money, but again like zango's
Zango's seem like an afterthought and someone really hates us
In thousand suns players because they're like, you know what? They really need like sorcerers models. No, we need more goats
Goat bird. Yeah
Give me goat bird
I
mean
It could be worse it could be that christmas box they released for the white scars
Which the main character in the box wasn't even on a bike
Oh, koso khan is not he's not on a bike dude
It was like
You need him on what's he's got moon dragon. Is he meant to run on all fours as fast as a bike or something? I don't get it
Well, then have you seen that new storm sea a model?
That does look pretty sick
I'm honestly i'm i'm gonna feel a little bit of marine fatigue in terms of like man like, you know after how many primaris
Lieutenants came out after a while. I you know what everything starts with like a primaris lieutenant
Shout to my girlfriend
Lieutenant shout to my girl primaris lieutenant
I didn't mean that um, the death guard might be a little bit better than a nurkel in age of sigmar
It looks like their dawn bringer box is uh, eight models
Oh damn, although it is two of them are like big boys on the plate throne. So maybe that balances it out
Uh, we'll say no. No, we still we'll say now but as well
This is kind of the end of the main podcast if you guys have any uh questions you want to hit us up with or
Or things for my will be hanging on just for a little bit longer just to have a little chat
Hangout sesh boys if you want
Um, I also talk about as well like because i'm myself
Uh playing tabletop as well as a lot of the I think i've gotten to a lot more recently over like the last
year or two
And I did like consider getting death guard for a while because again like the models are
Colin's dropping his mic. Um, I thought I was getting death guard because they are pretty cool looking again
but
Like with most editions like you are buying an army. Just do go with the one that you kind of
In like you you like the law and you kind of like the models because
It's always going to fluctuate with how well your army's doing
So, um, oh, I think another donation here. So i'm going to read that one out there
Oh reader
Some rat thing. Thank you. Ah, yes
Gavin the most benevolent my masters the gray seers requests to ask you to do a
Tierless rank of namescaven characters
Glory to this horrid rat good man. That is a fantastic idea. Thank you very much and what a what an idea you've got
That is actually I mean
If everyone's I think we could probably maybe add that in on the next tier list one we do to be fair
If it's not out there, i'll make it myself
We need this to be a literal
Um, which one entire tier just for thank all though. So we're letting we're letting you guys know now like already the bias is gone
Already the bias is coming out
um
Yes rat things. Yes. Yes
I would just I would I would miss talking about scaven too fair because there's just one of the few things like it's an absolute shining
German fantasy and I don't know what the 40k faction equivalent of that
Is like there's there's orcs, but they're not it's not the same
It was the crude they were just space gaven and then they changed to be the weird aging like scaly things
Yeah, but then even then they're just like a it's barely mentioned as like a xenos race. It's kind of a bit
There really should be like a faction where it's just like minor xenos races as like a sort of conglomerate thing
We get wacky models
All of that calls bone rivers ranked
All 10 000 of them
Oh my god, someone says i'm late, but i'm here you've got a lot to get through brother. I won't lie
um
Eli will be here for that one. He will do scaven. We'll we would all have a go at scaven voice probably at some point though
Uh enclave says good to see senator armstrong here, bro
Oh my god people people who do we all look like I wonder if you look i'm not i'm not gonna i'm not gonna
I'm not gonna not take a comparison to senator armstrong. I'm just saying that when the hairline
I mean completely goes bald you better start calling me sundowner
And then you gotta be like for now you're going don't fuck with this senator and then like makes a gang
It's a cool jack and i'm such a such a child
MS 20 says feet picked when um stop
Honestly, I want to say never but let's be honest. We have a price. Um, hold on. I'll do one now. No, no, no, no
I'm not sure
You don't get money for that out you gotta that's gotta be a mercenary i'm doing it i'm doing it
You don't need to put a eye in drawer. Okay. Thank god. There you go. Okay. Okay
I made you scared there for a second. I did um, put the grippers away
Uh insert creativity here, but I wished how would get more auxiliary support for weirder aliens
absolutely, it's such a missed opportunity for
I mean like some models they do like particularly age of sigma
Whoever the age of sigma team is where are they in the 40k stuff because that team is pumping out models
That is just they like they are cooking and I don't get why we don't have some of those like
Like crazy things like I think a lot of 40k models are pretty safe
I think I read and uh
Take it with a grain of salt because I don't know for certain
but I think I read a statement that like soft confirmed that
when
gw writers and models and whatnot want to be creative and do out their stuff
They're specifically put onto age of sigma
Because like 40k has its identity and gw executives. Yeah, it's a bit too. They want to be more safe
Yeah, whereas aos especially because it's not even 10 years old yet. They're like, yeah do go nuts do whatever
He was commenting on the feet pick thing. He drew
Move off for the feet thing about age of sigma
And he's like, oh no, no, no more feet. What is that's a hand?
Okay, um
Sounds as they have five warp tokens for you. That's already too much just you're too generous to be fair
Um, I think to be fair we would like to do
We will definitely add I think if we can we can add the scaven tier list into our
Next one and again any other suggestions for that is definitely welcome. We appreciate that guys
I think though if that's I think that's for most people's questions out the way though. I think that might be just
The possible end of this anyone wants to add anything more anything on there? Should we uh, uh,
I don't I
Tease next time's one
Different army than death guard
This'll we will say by then
A lot of this the live one here will be trimmed down into a video after so
Don't worry about the jank if you're watching this live thinking this is a bit different
It'll be trimmed down a bit nicer
They were I think 50 win rate last metal watch so hey, they do have that going for them
They're not the mark elder. I do I do watch um, or specs tactics
It's good obviously the channel that saves this entire community
And I remember seeing like every video I look and the comments always like oh they're ruining the game
They're ruining the game and like you look at the last data slate balance and everything's nearly like
50 50 so i'm like that's as good as it's gonna get
So I don't I think people
Like it's it's okay assume anyone who says they're ruining the game has an army that got nerfed
Whose win rate went down? I kind of just assume that
yeah, I mean
Some of the armies I play like they're not the highest win rate, but
That's fine because even between just playing a game. It's so up in the air at all times
It's pretty close. It's okay dudes. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna watch 40k top three
Uh eldar orcs and leagues of otan
The war in heaven round two and deep rock galactic, baby
rock and stone
Uh, thank you mass 20. I appreciate that. Um, someone said also imperial fist beginning to expert
What could do to be fair? Um
Imperial first is a tough one just because they are
They actually fight for how like much there is about imperial first
They actually don't stand out much in the law as it they it can be done. Obviously, but I think it's more
It's a tough one because it kind of gets wrapped into basically being individual characters such as like sigismund and
Alexis pollux things like that. It basically gets wrapped into
Certain storylines the imperial first just sit in terror for like all their books. So it's a bit tough that one
Oh my god, the rock and stone is everywhere. What have you done?
I mentioned deep rock galactic. What do you think? I did the call to action. So it's my fault
Rock and stone boys. Oh my god
Rock and stone boys rock and stone
Very clever. Oh my god. What have we drilled up here?
Look if you don't rock and stone, you ain't coming home. It's it's as simple as that. Yeah
Don't be a leaf lover
Someone said hammer and bolter tierless episode discussion. That's a good idea hammer and bolter
Um parts of it. I would have to give it a full. I think it's over to be honest
They did the lucius episode and I don't think they're planning to do any more at this rate. I've seen the
I thought it was getting better though. I've seen the bit where the avatar of cain gets avatar of cain
Yeah, sad there's about 15 episodes. I've watched them all but like
I think they're done because I think they're they're like, oh we can't put any more like time and effort into it because obviously
They did a bunch of them and then everyone said oh the animation is a bit jank
So then they started releasing them very slowly
And I think they've now realized oh
It takes a lot of work to make it look good, doesn't it?
Oh animations hard
To finish it with lucius's episode 15 done because I don't think they have any plans to do anymore to be honest
I guess that's kind of we should mention it like the whole um
Um, what i'm about to say, I even forgot what it's called then whamma plus thing
is kind of uh
I mean, yeah, there's like this. I don't even know what's going on with that anymore. I feel like they're giving up on it
I really enjoyed pariah nexus, but it was only three episodes and I was like
this
Iron within was one episode
angels of death was great
But then that was the only standout thing and that was the launch thing and then they did origins for three episodes and interrogator was six
and I was like
There's just not enough. There's just not enough stuff. I think they
They obviously would like to have a lot of their
things on their own platform just because in terms of
jw is a bit more of a traditional company where like they they think about like stock prices and all that kind of stuff they're not
You can already tell like they they don't they don't quite even like they said like people who do lore stuff
They don't understand how to utilize us particularly
and so as
as of at least
2015 at the like longest from last time they said it they have admitted
We do not think video games are a worthwhile investment, which is the most
Cracked thing I have ever heard come out of a stock report. Oh my god the raptor talon
He's back. Wow
Did I get any this boot? I can't thank you. Yes. Thank you so much raptor talon. Oh my god
Um, that's very generous of you. Thank you so much
um, we're having a brief discussion about the
Well, I think was it like the um one or plus thing
I think they should just I know they don't want to have like an ecosystem thing on youtube
Because I don't know if they kind of understand like they don't understand it
They don't understand it
Whereas a tendo if they're working let's players if they had
It had all these videos or animations on youtube. There's no doubt in my mind. Warhammer would be
like
Massive like way more massive than we'd even think about yeah, you know
How many people have said like a start he's got them into warhammer
I think people were listening here like you might a few of you might have never even heard of warhammer until the starties came around
dawn of war
Yeah, could you that to prior nexus should have been another like version of that and a star sees
Bok bok lots of box
Bok is our thing now
um, I I should
Again, I feel like just they kind of do shoot themselves in the foot a lot of time and they don't realize how much like imagine
I well as much as it is
I just I just feel like it's self-aggrandizing if all the you
Warhammer youtube went away like all of us lot
It would be quite like a I don't know where i'd hear it
like warhammer, well, I think i'm seeing it maybe what i've observed from
People who've worked at games workshop and have now left
The big thing is they don't want to attach people or personalities to the brand. They're like we don't want
Them to hijack our ip. It's kind of a russet area, but don't remember that
It's like that's why they they did the only hands thing where they removed all their painters faces from warhammer tv
Because they were like we don't want to promote the people we want to promote the brand
So you only see their hands in the video and there's no faces when they're painting and they've brought that back
but it's like they're they're very very very protective of
oh, we don't want
colin or andy or how being associated with warhammer because
Warhammer is our thing. We want space marines to be the face of warhammer. We don't want
this some
Some dudes on youtube or whatever being the face of warhammer and that's kind of the I think that's the bulk of it
That's why it reminds me of rooster teeth. Everyone if everyone here had watched rooster back in the day. It was all personality driven
That you understand that people weren't there for the let's play they're there for the let's players
Yeah, so I kind of see their reasoning there
but again, it's also just there's a big divide between I think um
It because it's been around so long games workshop. They're much more like a traditional brick and mortar company than a
Like other and and I think there's also something to be said about probably the people who are running it are quite
Old-fashioned in that regard and they're like all these kids with their new fangled text
So I don't get it. No, but some mention critical role. I I've watched critical roles good too to be fair. Um, yes
I seen almost like a start is was the way to get your mates into warhammer. I just i've made my friends watch as darthis
Because I again, it's just such a missed opportunity like pariah nexus should be free on youtube
And imagine how many people will go like what the hell is this warhammer thing? It looks so good
That's what i'm i'm wondering what the hell is going on with the uh, the tv series of it
I know they're obviously like we don't want to show off what we got before it's ready, but it's like
It's been radio silence. It's been very quiet. I think again as of is always um
Held close to our chest, but I think we also to fit in a way. We'll say we all
operate within an
ecosystem or ecosystem of a
Warhammer stuff which is lucky that an echo chamber. Yes. Yeah
We're just lucky that warhammer is such a good setting that um, we get to make all these kind of lore videos about it
there's just again, there's just so much to it and
The at least the writing and the models are all you know me like we can as much as we all have our complaints about it
Uh raptor town again boy. What's going on?
Well, it seems i'm now required to do this so but listen raps town. Thank you so much
Bro, you're putting our children through my unborn children through college uh university appreciate that so much
um
Wow, uh, I don't even know what I was saying and I was like, uh, but yeah, which one ends on like
We're very lucky. We have the how much like I used to be a war like star wars fan
And you come from star wars and you particularly look at the state of star wars now where?
Most stuff is ah reference like that. That's the entire thing. It's just reference like remember that thing remember anakin guys
Uh-huh. You remember anakin you remember that that's basically what star wars has come down to and you remember darfader
He's dead, but you remember darfader. Let's bring out darfader again
Let's bring out darfader again. It's like a department park almost
It's unending. I think I think of the um, do you want to see the south park thing recently?
South park kathleen kennedy thing was funny. I won't go too much into it just because it is um,
That's obviously not
Anything much to do. It's spicy, but obviously south park have always been like
Funny and like slash on the pulse with things and I enjoy that stuff
Um, but yeah, we're lucky we do think about warhammer is luckily most it's well written
The books are good stuff coming out. The model's always good coming out
I mean, it's not always on the timeline we want it to be but I mean, you know
Eventually the models and the books are their bread and butter and it's mainly the models
So that's what they're going to focus on but it's good that we get to to pick apart the lore and go. Oh, this is interesting
With this neat. Yeah
Well, the law I mean that's not why the law is good the law like so far as like as much of it
There is the law is good as much as there are also little bits that are a bit like, yeah
But overall the collective is is slaps of interest to this many people
If it wasn't at least halfway decent and yeah, I know i've said this several times before but I think warhammer is going through a renaissance
Right now where it's like there's so many channels. There's so many new books. There's so many new authors being brought into the fault of black library
They're doing new models. They're doing new
Games like uh the horus eras stuff
Like it's going through like a kind of big step right now. And so there's never been a better time to get into it
Sounds as it used to be a star wars fan, bro. Listen, I feel you
It was uh, it's just been a tough few years. I don't I get that's the one thing like warhammer
There's a there's a difference between like when you actually see star wars and then like horus rising the first warhammer book
It's just like oh damn
This is like someone is got a someone's big braining this right now and got um good lore also again models
Most most models look good. I'm not gonna play about league of otan at some point
Because I just I i'm so annoyed at how generic the league of otan look
but um, uh, i'm gonna use the rapture talon this guy is
Putting us through. I mean, it's not a donation, but I just chilled a little bit. It's like thank you so much earlier
Hey, you you also said like there's only one good sci-fi series and it's babalon 5 you miss called nalo
Uh, that might be a verbal I come out with a series called but it's got simon pegg and bill bailey in it
And they're working at a comic shop and he's like, oh I need to we need to bring you to so and so
I can't leave the work. He's like you need to get fired. Oh
so and so
Babylon five is a big pile of shit get out and they go
And that's how they're getting fired
Uh battle star galactica is just babalon 5 but sad it is quite sad fun
Fun fact for everyone who wants to be more depressed about star wars the koto remake is pretty much dead in the water now
No
Yeah, it is uh
The uh giant is uh
on the show, uh
Giant bombs jeff grubb is uh, the quote is I just want to clear it up
This game is not being worked on right now just full stop
The game is not being worked on in any way at any studio didn't have a trailer
It did it was officially announced because it's dead in the water
Didn't they just re-release it on the switch as well like the original? Yeah, that might be why they're like, oh we don't need you
We're just gonna re-release. What's going bro? Okay, we're lucky. Oh, yeah
I guess we could finish on what we who do we actually think the warhammer?
TV series if they're gonna debut it, what do you think the uh flagship ones are gonna be?
I would hope for kyphus cain, but it's probably gonna be either uh
Eisenhorn. Yeah, eisenhorn or some ultramarine
I don't I think they should do kyphus cain just for henry cavill just so they can actually get so many series out of it
Eisenhorn should be someone else because it's only like three
Books and then I feel like the thing is though. They're gonna have to launch with something
Because that's kind of the draw. It's like if we don't have a space marine
It could be confused with another ip, but if it's like look at the big chunky boy
It's like oh that's i've not seen that on the television before
Eisenhorn has got space rings in the first book, but they're like
They're gonna have to be very heavily in the story if that's the case
Yeah, I would say like i'm sure even if like they do like kyphus cain or eisenhorn. Whoa, Anthony again. Oh, it's just for me
uh
How i'm literally painting my third land fortress right now and you've been hurting you've hurt my soul talking smack about my gender
Space truckers
Stone first of all Anthony. Thank you so much. I'm not sure that comment was worth 100 for that
But to talk is that but that's amazing. Thank you
um
I will i'll have a full rant about this probably one day
But my only my beef is not necessarily that they have squats
My or like, you know leagues of otan my beef is that it is their artistic style and their law
Is perhaps the safest drop in the hat i've ever
Seen in terms of they could have made them crazy i'm talking
And it didn't have to be like a carbon
moon copy
Slash thing of you know, basically a moon version moon suit whatever version of dwarves
It could have been something way crazier and more exciting
And my only my only gripe with the leagues of otan is like it wasn't more than what it is. It's
I like rock and stone we come at that problem for the execs from completely complete opposite angles
You want more dwarves? I said I want them to be more dwarfie. You want them to be less
But there's always more dwarfie, but the way they've done it is they've split it between dwarves and another vikingish
Space wolves knockoff. Yeah, no, it's like
They've hedged their bets whereas like if they were just like dwarfie just like look at that dwarfie dwarf and he's a dwarfie
as ai stuff, they never want to be like yeah chunky dwarves, but instead it's
ai
simp dwarves
Uh, I don't know. Yeah, I just I just my only gripe is that it's just not
Well, I wouldn't want them to be as much like you say like you don't want skaven in walhama 40k
Like they they are their own. I don't need another skaven. I don't need another dwarf
walhama fantasy gets dwarves correct
No, but like that I don't that's like age of sigma already does it fight perfect
I need to have around two because they've done the whole thing of like oh, they've got ai
Whereas i'd be like imagine if they were like we're competent at harnessing chaos
Like we can just in we can just like contain and enslave chaos and an immaterial power
Like that'd be an interesting thing like oh they're they're icarusing. They're getting a bit too close to like oh we can harness this
There's a reason we don't harness this whereas ai is just a bit more like
in it
They would they would never do that though because then that would be tacitly admitting that the entire horus heresy series was everyone being an idiot
Yeah, but that's
You don't know what you're doing you can't safely contain that bludgeon to death that's kind of cj
Cj kicks books the leagues are just a sci-fi uh fracking company in my eyes
My head maybe i haven't given them enough thought but that's my vibe
But antony also puts i run my vote and as all iron kin love them
Listen, mate, I think if you mate if you enjoy it though
I don't want to take away from that at all is again like that's the whole point
I play some factions that you play and they're not like the most competitive or like it's craziest
But I just like that law and again, I have fun playing them
And if you're having fun playing it, that's literally all that matters as the rock and stone all the way
You don't need you don't need to parrot that. No one has to parrot the youtuber's opinion
Yeah, no, no, we we all have like as much as sometimes our opinions are based and other times they are absolutely trash
I just last time we're not gonna kill ourselves are always right, but you don't have to have them always
Always, okay. Okay. Sure
Always based but sometimes they go in the basement trash
We should do a tea we should do a tierless video of like just calling opinions in this
Since i'm like wow this stuff and then just put like this opinion is trash, right?
But this opinion this opinion is rock and stone and this I uh, I think I should be controlling the stream for that tier list
We have to measure that last time I could see it on your face how much you wanted to rip like the mouse control from
And he's in control
There were a couple times I was looking at it like
How much it goes to our heads just being in charge of the tierless stream
Um, which I said the next one we obviously I guess well skaven could be one idea for the next tier stream list
and um
Was applying to have these kind of
Our post podcast slash post tierless streams, which will be doing alternating going forward
We'll have like this whole hangout session bits after um for people so we get to you know
Basically, you can ask us anything you want dwarf tier list. I mean, it's just this is gotrek and there's nothing else
I said that's really tough because hang on now story gotrek
Barden
Barden's a real one. I mean, um, that's a quick tier for grim
I mean the white and iron fist that the promise
The problem is I think it works as a tierless because they're all
s here
There isn't a dwarf wave. There's no there's no bad dwarves. They're all good. Call it name me a mid dwarf
What who's a mid dwarf?
I don't think it's possible. There was a dwarf in gotrek and felix who was just a real asshole
But he's not is it it's just they're all good though all like name other than him. All right
You know what? You kind of got me on that one
The whole britannian knights britannian knights
I don't think we don't do a tier list of britannian knight colin colin will just put all my left
He couldn't be in charge of that one to be fair. It would actually go absolutely not I there would be
I would be palpitating this I am the senate. I am the tierless and they're all in am I am the senate
I am the senate
Do it uh, we uh
Say what we're doing next
Yes, we can actually fax it it leads perfectly on
We're gonna we'll edit this out by the way for people who are watching
So only the people who are watching live can know this but um, uh, go ahead colin
We are are we doing what we were?
I think we could go for the your the one you want to do next
Uh wonderful. Well, uh next time everyone we are
Seeking a good death. Uh, we're gonna do gattrick and felix
Yes part one
Part one because there's so much
Many because we don't know how many we're gonna have to do to cover everything
So we're gonna do it and there's we're gonna break it down into chunks because we don't know how
Long it's gonna be so we're like maybe one of 18. We don't know
It could be a while
What does noah smith put no smith put no smith put um colin pory mains eng in rock and stone
I do not main engineer. I main scout if there's a cave leech in the cave. I assure you I will find it
By having it grab me
Uh, we will say though. Um, yeah gattrick and felix is coming up we
I'm very excited this one just but I think andy, you know, tertiary probably a little bit about this
But for people who are not hundreds of shows, this is also this is from uh, one of fancy the old world the best world
And this is some like the I mean, it's almost it's not the earliest. Why am I law is it I think or
Some of the books are pretty old but it's generally some like the best stuff that came out of the old world
With three for thank thank all my boy my beloved
I think they with that being said this we're probably gonna wrap the stream up now boys
Uh, but but someone said bone rippered tier list when
I also like how we have genesis bock and stone. That's now a thing
Felix love interest two hours long
Oh god, um, no race is not possible
He put himself on that list too, um
Um today gattrick would be number one though because he's as great as love. Um, the bromance is you know bros before hoes
uh
That being said though. Thank you guys so much for watching and listening on. Uh, obviously this will be this will be trimmed up
uh probably in the next coming days or something like that, so
for people who watch it live and uh, particularly antony and um, raven I think as well. Thank you so much for the donations
This is damn. That's a lot. Thank you so much. We didn't I don't know if we deserve that love
Uh, that's just amazing and we we really appreciate that. That is
Wow, thank you so much
and uh, I think that and then the else you guys want to add that really uh, I think it might be it, I mean
One one thing I'll mention is I've done a video on morty and i've done a video on the death guard
as a
Send off to this episode. They're very popular. A lot of people really enjoy the death guard
They're not my cup of tea personally, but they are pretty cool
And uh, if you enjoy playing them on tabletop my condolences with the recent nerfs, but otherwise have fun
Actually a recent buff too, um, I uh, I would like to announce I feel resoundingly indifferent to the death guard
I don't mind. I like mortarion. I don't dislike them, but just uh
Yeah
Uh, keep i am
Sounds like keep on bock. It sounds like keep on bocking keep on bocking bock boys bock bock
I uh, i'm very excited to talk about snorri next week snorri nosebiter. The my beloved week
Oh, yeah. No, no, it'll be two weeks from now, but um weeks two weeks two weeks
Uh that we said thank you guys so much for listening and that'll be the end of the stream. Thank you guys
Cheers. Peace. We'll catch you all on the next one for tier lists
Yeah, like uh, have a good weekend boys You