1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,600 Hey there, Tracy here and thank you for joining me for another episode of YQG In Bloom. 2 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:16,600 And today I have with me a nurse practitioner from Windsor, Kristin DiCarlo. 3 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,600 Hello. 4 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,960 Thank you so much for coming today. 5 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,120 Thank you so much for having me. 6 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,480 I'm so excited to be here. 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,200 Now I wanted to ask first and foremost, what is a nurse practitioner? 8 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,560 Oh yeah, a lot of people aren't really familiar. 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,640 They are familiar, they've heard the term, but they don't really know exactly what a 10 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,560 nurse practitioner is. 11 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:37,640 So a nurse practitioner is a registered nurse who has advanced education. 12 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:42,000 So I'm a registered nurse and then I went back to school and took additional training 13 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:47,760 to become a nurse practitioner, which is about two extra years on top of the four-year undergrad 14 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:48,840 degree. 15 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:53,620 And in addition, in order to get into the NP program, you had to have three years experience 16 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:54,620 as an RN. 17 00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:55,620 Oh, okay. 18 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:56,620 Yeah. 19 00:00:56,620 --> 00:01:01,080 So can people go to a nurse practitioner instead of a doctor or does that work? 20 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,000 Yeah, so it's not a replacement role for a doctor. 21 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,600 It's a different role, but a nurse practitioner within my scope of practice or within the 22 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:16,280 scope of a nurse practitioner practice can diagnose, can treat many or most health conditions, 23 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:21,700 can prescribe medication and order diagnostic testing, refer to other specialties, refer 24 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:23,880 to specialist physicians. 25 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:28,720 And nurse practitioners work in collaboration as part of a comprehensive healthcare team. 26 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:36,440 So we work alongside doctors, social workers, all kinds of therapists, dieticians, physiotherapists, 27 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,120 naturopathic doctors. 28 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:43,020 Now do people pay for a nurse practitioner or is it covered under the OHIP scope? 29 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,480 So a nurse practitioner cannot bill OHIP. 30 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:50,360 So that's a difference between physician practice and nurse practitioner practice. 31 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,480 A lot of nurse practitioner roles are provincially funded, so depending on where you work, you 32 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,880 may have funding and then you're paid a salary. 33 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:02,680 But if a nurse practitioner isn't a private practice, then everything I order is OHIP 34 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,680 funded. 35 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:08,240 So if I were to order blood work or refer to a specialist, it is covered. 36 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,960 But the actual fee for the visit cannot be billed to OHIP. 37 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:17,160 So that's why we see nurse practitioners charging privately because there's no other way to 38 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,640 be compensated for that visit. 39 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:22,440 Yeah, now nurse practitioners are like doctors. 40 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,440 You do have different specialties. 41 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,720 And what is your specialty? 42 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:32,160 So as a kind of as a nurse practitioner, I've worked in a lot of different areas. 43 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,560 I've been doing this for about well since 2007. 44 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:41,840 So long time, but you know, I've worked in women's health and mental health and primary 45 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:47,320 care, teen health, sexual health, all kinds of different areas. 46 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:53,640 But in the last few years, I actually have started my own practice, which is I bring 47 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,440 my nurse practitioner skill set into it. 48 00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:03,280 But I offer psychotherapy coaching and bringing in my NP background to work with women specifically 49 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:08,160 in mental health around really around anxiety, burnout and chronic stress. 50 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,600 Which is something that I think we all have a little bit of at least. 51 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,060 Yeah, being women, we're always on the go. 52 00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:19,160 But it's something that we don't really want to talk about too much, because then you're 53 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,880 a failure. 54 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:28,040 How would somebody know that they have reached the point of where they need to talk to you 55 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,920 about burnout or anxiety? 56 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:30,920 Great question. 57 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,400 So burnout is a complex phenomenon. 58 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,400 It's not a diagnosis. 59 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,740 It's sort of like something that, yes, you're absolutely right. 60 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:41,720 Most of us humans have experienced at some point. 61 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,000 And there's a lot of parts. 62 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,580 There's a lot of contributing factors. 63 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:48,240 It's not really easy to necessarily identify. 64 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,640 But I think when you talk to other women, if I was to say to you, I'm burned out, I 65 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,080 think inherently you just kind of know what that means, right? 66 00:03:54,080 --> 00:04:02,320 But the World Health Organization would set the definition of burnout as having increased 67 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,200 mental distance from one's job. 68 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:10,400 So feeling cynical, feeling really negative about life circumstances or professional work, 69 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,720 feelings of emotional or physical exhaustion. 70 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,720 That's a big one. 71 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,720 That's a big problem. 72 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:15,720 For sure. 73 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:16,720 And reduce professional efficacy. 74 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,640 So just less productive. 75 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,360 But really nobody talks about it like this. 76 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,080 What they're saying to me is I feel like I'm drowning. 77 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,040 I feel like I can't keep up with my own life. 78 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,120 I feel like I'm in survival mode. 79 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:34,720 A lot of the women who come to me are super smart, very ambitious. 80 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,200 They've accomplished a lot. 81 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,480 They have been juggling multiple roles like so many of us do. 82 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,480 They're working. 83 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,820 They're managing a home. 84 00:04:42,820 --> 00:04:44,520 They have a partner potentially. 85 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:45,880 They have family. 86 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,120 They have other things that they have going. 87 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,240 And then they also have all the work responsibilities. 88 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,160 But all the boxes are checked. 89 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,520 Everything looks really fantastic on the outside. 90 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,160 But on the inside it's like help me, I'm at my breaking point. 91 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:04,200 And you're talking about half of North America because it just seems that it's not nonstop. 92 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:09,520 It's go, go, go, go, go when it's your work and your home life and you have to be the 93 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:15,240 perfect June Cleaver from the 50s but also the modern woman of now. 94 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,240 Yeah, absolutely. 95 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,760 So there's so many factors that play into it for sure. 96 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,160 But societal conditioning, right? 97 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:25,080 Like sort of how we're like a lot of that messaging is still there about like a woman's 98 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,960 role for sure, right? 99 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,800 And women, yeah, we work now, right? 100 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,920 It was different 50, 60, 70 years ago. 101 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,720 But now we're balancing all of that. 102 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,360 And it's hard. 103 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,360 It is hard. 104 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:40,360 But you do have your friends that will support you and you have the men that will support 105 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,360 you. 106 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:47,240 The men don't understand that not only do you have the burnout and the anxiety of everything, 107 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,120 but then you have hormones on top of it. 108 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,120 Oh, yeah. 109 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,800 And that just makes everything 10 times worse. 110 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,800 Yeah. 111 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,080 Well, we know that the mind and the body are so entwined, right? 112 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:59,480 So that's part of when we look at burnout, we have to look at all of it and all the pieces 113 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:00,480 that are contributing. 114 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,420 So it's never one thing really. 115 00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:06,800 And burnout is traditionally thought as a workplace phenomenon. 116 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,240 So it's related to the workplace environment. 117 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,000 But I work with women who are just like stressed, right? 118 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,000 They're like, help me. 119 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,000 I'm in a pit. 120 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000 I can't function. 121 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,440 I'm not having any joy. 122 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:17,720 I don't feel fulfilled. 123 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,560 I don't know how to enjoy my life. 124 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,080 I feel like it's a rinse and repeat. 125 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,700 Living in the fast lane. 126 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:24,700 That's a lot of what they say. 127 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:28,840 And when we look at it, like the contributing factors, yeah, there's societal messaging. 128 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,260 There's like multiple roles. 129 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,680 But even if we look at the changing culture of work, right? 130 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:38,960 The always on technology, even in our personal lives, like we all have our phones with us. 131 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:39,960 They're always dinging. 132 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:40,960 Always. 133 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:41,960 I know. 134 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,280 Mine's over there because I'm recording. 135 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:47,640 But normally, there's emails, there's text messages. 136 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,880 Like it's constant, right? 137 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,200 So that all factors into the cognitive load, like the weight of everything that we're dealing 138 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,200 with. 139 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,280 So you brought up a really important point. 140 00:06:55,280 --> 00:07:00,660 I just want to cycle back to that when you said that we don't always talk about it because 141 00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:03,720 sometimes there's a sense of failure if we're experiencing burnout. 142 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:07,840 And oh my gosh, that's so the truth, right? 143 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,320 A lot of us see it that way. 144 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,440 When we're struggling, it's like I should be able to keep up with all of this. 145 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,040 Like look at everybody else. 146 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,720 They're doing it and they're fine, but we don't know behind closed doors. 147 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,120 They could be fetal position crying just like we are. 148 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,240 Yeah, for sure. 149 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:28,480 And I think I like to think about burnout as not a sign of failure, but a sign that 150 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,040 something just needs to change. 151 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,040 Right? 152 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,960 Sometimes it's just, okay, it's time to recalibrate. 153 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,300 What is working here? 154 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,720 What's not working here? 155 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:41,000 And what do we need to do to start to actually enjoy our life again and not feel so completely 156 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,120 exhausted and tapped out that we can't? 157 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:48,640 I just did an episode not too long ago with Robert France, who is the maestro with Windsor 158 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,120 Symphony Orchestra. 159 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:55,600 We're talking about doing something that you're very passionate about for work. 160 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,880 And like we don't really get meaning and purpose from our work. 161 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,600 Some people do for sure. 162 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:01,600 I know I do. 163 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:02,600 Right? 164 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,600 And I think you do too. 165 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,600 Right? 166 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,240 A lot of people do, but not everybody gets all of their meaning and purpose from work 167 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:08,600 and that's okay. 168 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:13,640 But there is a study that came out of U of M in recent years that identified three orientations 169 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,240 that people have regarding their work. 170 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,240 Okay? 171 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,240 It's really interesting. 172 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:18,440 It ties into exactly what you're saying. 173 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:24,240 So those that see their work as a job, like it's a chore, we do it for money. 174 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,360 Okay? 175 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,600 In those jobs, we're looking forward to the end of the day. 176 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,000 We're doing it because we have to. 177 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,000 We have bills to pay. 178 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,440 I'm going because I have to. 179 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,800 And this can be any job. 180 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:36,880 Honestly, somebody could go into nursing or be a nurse practitioner and do it for that 181 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:37,880 reason. 182 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:38,880 It's a job. 183 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:39,880 It's there to pay the bills. 184 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:40,880 Right? 185 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:44,400 The second orientation is those that see work as a career. 186 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:49,280 So it's about progress or like progressing, growing in the role, climbing the ladder, 187 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:55,200 so to speak, sort of making money and like climbing in the organization. 188 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,620 It's a career that you grow in. 189 00:08:56,620 --> 00:09:01,600 The third orientation was about those that see their work as a calling. 190 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,320 And really, surprisingly in the study, it didn't matter what the work was. 191 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:09,320 So those that see their work as something that matters. 192 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:13,000 The first study here was with janitors in hospitals. 193 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,200 Okay? 194 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,080 And those that focused on meaning. 195 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,720 So those that thought about, I'm going to work to help. 196 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,520 I'm part of something bigger than me. 197 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,000 I'm here to have an impact. 198 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000 It's purposeful work. 199 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000 Yeah. 200 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,360 We're happier than the ones that saw it as like, I got to go to work. 201 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:31,360 I just have to pay the bills. 202 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,160 I'm here because I have to. 203 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:37,200 So you can see it's not even the difference in the actual job. 204 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,320 It's the difference in how you look at the job. 205 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,600 How you look at the job. 206 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:46,560 Now to me, number one, you know, doing it for the money and number three, doing it for 207 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:47,560 purpose. 208 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:51,360 Well, purpose is always going to be better. 209 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:56,640 But number one, I can understand that that's probably about 80% of us were doing it because 210 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,440 we need to do it. 211 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:04,680 But the ones that feel the career and feel driven to me, I think they might be the ones 212 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:09,520 that would burn out more because their drive is just nonstop, nonstop. 213 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,680 And that's the one that scares me. 214 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:12,680 Yeah, potentially, right? 215 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:16,800 Because we can get caught up thinking that when I reach this milestone. 216 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,080 And you never reach it because you're always looking for more and more and more. 217 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,840 When I get there, I'll be happier. 218 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,640 And that there's actually like a concept called the arrival fallacy. 219 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:25,920 Have you ever heard of it? 220 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:26,920 Yeah. 221 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,440 It's like when I arrive at this goal and it could be like when I get married, you know, 222 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:33,760 when I buy a house, when I get a job, when I move, you know, then I'll be happy. 223 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:38,360 And what we know from lots and lots of research is that it's not the circumstance that creates 224 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,360 the happiness. 225 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,360 Really. 226 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,680 It's how you're thinking about the things in your life for sure. 227 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:48,120 That study I think was so profound because what it shows you is that how you think about 228 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,640 your work does matter. 229 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,760 That sense of meaning that we want, we have to be the ones to kind of create that. 230 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,760 Yes. 231 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,880 And to find the purpose in what we're doing. 232 00:10:54,880 --> 00:11:01,160 I've gone through that myself where I've done so many different jobs to try and find the 233 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:06,400 one that really fit with me where I wasn't just nonstop, nonstop. 234 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:12,000 And I always said growing up that I didn't want to work in the customer service industry 235 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,160 because I hated working with people. 236 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,680 And then it turned out that that was the job that I was good at. 237 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:23,000 And I really liked like even working at Starbucks, I loved working with the customers. 238 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:28,440 It was great to, you know, make their day if you here have a free drink or something. 239 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,000 And I really enjoyed it for the four years that I was there. 240 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:38,040 But a lot of times you've got to go from job to job to job and not feel like a failure. 241 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:43,280 It feels almost like you're on a journey to find that purpose and to find the meaning 242 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:48,840 and find the job that's not going to make you feel like a failure and feel like you're 243 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,440 burnt out at the end of the day. 244 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:51,440 Yeah, definitely. 245 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,320 I think it's okay to sort of course correct. 246 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,320 Right. 247 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,640 But I also think that sometimes we can get caught up in like chasing that. 248 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,160 It's like, where will I find the thing that's going to make me happy? 249 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,000 You just know when it hits you. 250 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000 Yeah. 251 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:08,440 And sometimes it's again, like we have to be the ones to connect with what are we doing 252 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,440 this work for? 253 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,440 Right. 254 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:11,440 Like what? 255 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,440 Why am I doing this? 256 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:17,520 And finding meaning in that way is so important. 257 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,680 And we know that it's really protective against burnout. 258 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:26,080 It is nice in a way to have a lot of different careers in the background because you kind 259 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,520 of have a little bit of knowledge about different things. 260 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:35,260 So you can have a lot of hobbies and that helps with the burnout when I feel that I'm 261 00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:38,880 just getting to the point where I'm going to scream, I'm going to cry. 262 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:44,760 Well, I can go gardening or I can go and do something else for a bit and just to bring 263 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,160 my stress levels down. 264 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,160 Yeah. 265 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,200 And notice that like that's connecting with things that are important to you. 266 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,200 Right. 267 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,200 Like things you actually love. 268 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,000 And I also see what I've recognized in a lot of the people that I work with and even in 269 00:12:55,000 --> 00:13:00,320 myself, it's that when I'm burnt out or when clients are reaching the point of burnout, 270 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,040 a lot of times it's what's coming at us. 271 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,640 It's all the things we're juggling, but it's also what we give away. 272 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,640 Right. 273 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:10,040 And it's also what we're not doing that connects us back to our sense of meaning and joy and 274 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,280 purpose and like love of life. 275 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,280 Right. 276 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,640 So we don't have enough of what lights us up. 277 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:20,300 That's the first thing to go when somebody is feeling completely overwhelmed, completely 278 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,440 stressed out. 279 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,000 That's usually the first thing that we give up. 280 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,000 Right. 281 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,400 Like just notice that when we're stressed out, we're giving up time with friends and 282 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:31,760 we're giving up things like the gardening and walking and sleep and drinking water and 283 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,640 going pee and eating dinner. 284 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,160 We give all that away. 285 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,160 Right. 286 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:41,880 And we get caught up in that complete hustle culture and it doesn't lead us where we want 287 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,040 to go most of the time. 288 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,040 It's true. 289 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:50,920 Now, how are you able to help us people with burnout, as women with burnout and with the 290 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:51,920 anxiety? 291 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:52,920 Yeah. 292 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,160 So it's always very individualized. 293 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:59,080 So I am very individualized in my practice, meaning when I'm working with somebody, we're 294 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:04,000 looking at what are all the factors that are contributing to where you're at now. 295 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,080 So internal factors, external factors, all of it. 296 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,080 So we pick it all apart. 297 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,720 We sort of look at like, what are the things that are not working? 298 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,820 What are the things that you're wanting more of? 299 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,960 What are all the factors that are contributing? 300 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,040 So I actually use a four step process with my clients. 301 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,280 The first part is recognize. 302 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,280 Right. 303 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:25,440 So we want to recognize first off, recognize the signs of burnout and stress. 304 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:30,560 It's so very normalized in our culture to just be completely running on empty. 305 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:31,560 Have you noticed that? 306 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:32,560 Oh, yeah. 307 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,560 Right. 308 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:38,240 And we don't even always recognize that we've been feeling really bad for a long time. 309 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,320 So first off, recognizing the signs of burnout. 310 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,560 How do you know when you're getting to your limit? 311 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,740 How do you know when you're running on empty? 312 00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:52,360 What would be the normal and what I mean by normal answer is there are some certain things 313 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:57,160 that everybody has in common, obviously being overly tired, emotional. 314 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,420 Oh, yeah. 315 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:00,420 Ready anger. 316 00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:01,420 Yeah. 317 00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:07,680 And there's just often like a general lack of meaning or detachment from even when you're 318 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,640 with people, feeling like you're disconnected, feeling like you're having a hard time connecting. 319 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:12,640 Yeah. 320 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:13,640 Looking going, OK, can I go home? 321 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:14,640 Yeah. 322 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:15,640 Yeah. 323 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,640 Sometimes that's still there. 324 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:17,640 Right. 325 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:18,640 You might want your time at home. 326 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:23,800 But just feeling like I think it's a big loss of feeling of joy. 327 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:24,800 Right. 328 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,480 Essentially, like sometimes just feeling like you can't quite access happiness for some 329 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,520 reason, even though you think you should be able to. 330 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,720 Because everything's going good, right, on paper. 331 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:32,720 Yeah. 332 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,400 Exhaustion is a big one. 333 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,400 Feeling like I just can't do it anymore. 334 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:41,240 Lack of focus or frustration, irritability, loss of motivation. 335 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,640 Like a lot of people are just waking up and they're like, I just can't today. 336 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,720 I just can't do it anymore. 337 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:50,920 I think we all do that, especially here, because it just seems that the North American culture 338 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:55,160 is just go, go, go, go, go, and everybody has to be happy. 339 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,440 We're just conditioned that way, and I hate it. 340 00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,440 Yeah. 341 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,160 Sometimes you wake up feeling that way, though. 342 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,160 We don't give ourselves what we need. 343 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,160 We're just like, we just have to push through it. 344 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,160 Right. 345 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:10,360 So I think step one is to recognize when you're burned out, and then dig a little bit deeper. 346 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,080 Let's recognize what's contributing here. 347 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,880 What are all the internal factors and the external factors? 348 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:15,880 Right. 349 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:21,480 Sometimes the external factors are things like environmental factors, right? 350 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:28,120 Workplace environment, relationship quality, financial strain, health issues, changes. 351 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:33,240 Like we're going through a divorce or a move or some life rocking event. 352 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,240 For sure it will contribute. 353 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,080 We have to look at all of that for sure. 354 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,480 And then the internal factors, things like what are your coping strategies? 355 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,520 How do you cope with stress? 356 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,520 What is your self-care like? 357 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,520 Right? 358 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,520 Boundaries. 359 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,520 Do you know how to set them? 360 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,520 Do you have them? 361 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,240 Do you teach coping skills? 362 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,240 Yeah. 363 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,240 Thank you. 364 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:59,320 Because I say to so many people, life is so much easier when you have coping skills. 365 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:00,320 It's not perfect. 366 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,960 Trust me, it's not. 367 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:06,880 But it's something that I learned a long time ago when I had reached my breaking point and 368 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:11,320 I saw a therapist and he taught me coping skills. 369 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,920 So I didn't have to worry about being on medication. 370 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:18,800 And it's hard to remember those skills sometimes. 371 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:25,000 But I'll tell you one thing, they're life saving and life changing and they really help 372 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:30,480 reduce the stress when you can sit back, relax and remember how to do it. 373 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:35,200 I don't think a lot of people have coping skills or know how to implement them. 374 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,200 Yeah, for sure. 375 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,200 Right? 376 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,200 Where did we learn that? 377 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,760 We don't really learn what to do with our emotions. 378 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,120 Not too many people teach it anymore. 379 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,400 It's so true. 380 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:46,840 And I think if we think about our lives, how did we learn how to deal with emotion? 381 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:47,840 We don't learn that stuff. 382 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,040 No, what do we do when we're feeling stressed? 383 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:55,960 So yeah, a lot of what I do is teach tools, strategies, how to support yourself, essentially. 384 00:17:55,960 --> 00:18:01,440 How to support your own self care, how to navigate hard things. 385 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,440 Right? 386 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,000 Because we're going to go through them. 387 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000 It's part of life. 388 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000 There's no way around that. 389 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,000 Yeah. 390 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:12,400 And it's okay to have a me day where I want to stay in my pajamas and stay in bed and pout 391 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,480 and watch stupid movies. 392 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:20,640 It's okay to cry and not be so hard on yourself if you have days like that because we all 393 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:21,640 do. 394 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,640 Yes, 100%. 395 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,640 Especially women. 396 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:24,640 Oh yeah. 397 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,640 And notice how much we judge ourselves for it though, right? 398 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:26,640 Oh yeah. 399 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:27,640 So much. 400 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,640 That's what I said to my husband. 401 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,880 I'll have the days where it's like, you know what? 402 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,960 I'm feeling like it's going to be a jammy day. 403 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:35,960 I'm showering. 404 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,040 I'm getting in my jammies and watching TV. 405 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,120 And then I'll be sitting there and I'll start doing stuff. 406 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,720 And he's like, I thought you were relaxing today. 407 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,080 And I'm like, I felt guilty. 408 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,120 I knew the dishes needed to be done. 409 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,680 I wanted to do this, this and this. 410 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,280 And I felt guilty about having a me day. 411 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,680 So I never do it. 412 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:53,680 Yeah. 413 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,680 And why do we feel guilty for that? 414 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,680 I don't know. 415 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,360 It can wait until tomorrow. 416 00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:58,960 I should be doing more. 417 00:18:58,960 --> 00:18:59,960 Right? 418 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,120 It's like we should be always doing. 419 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,880 We kind of forget how to just be for sure. 420 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:10,360 That's why I want to live in Europe where they have four day work weeks and they concentrate 421 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,920 on family and home life. 422 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:12,920 Right? 423 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:13,920 I know. 424 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:14,920 You work. 425 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,680 It's just something. 426 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:17,680 It's not everything. 427 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,680 Yeah. 428 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:19,680 It's different. 429 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,400 It's hard because it's against, you know, to slow down and start to make changes in 430 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,000 your life really requires going against the mainstream. 431 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000 Right? 432 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,680 Because most people are really, really, really running constantly. 433 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:38,560 So the second piece of my system that I use is a big, you know, part. 434 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,240 It's called, it's what I call restore. 435 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,240 Okay. 436 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,600 Restore well-being for sure. 437 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,640 Burnout in its core is a dysregulated state. 438 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,920 So the nervous system is sort of in hyperdrive or it could be completely like we're completely 439 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:51,920 fried. 440 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:52,920 Right? 441 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:53,920 We're completely exhausted. 442 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:55,960 So we need to get back to well. 443 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,280 So that piece is about even answering the question. 444 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,640 Like, what do I need? 445 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:01,640 Right? 446 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,680 A lot of times I ask clients that and they're like, I don't know. 447 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:05,680 Like, I don't know. 448 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,760 We learn to sort of tune out that voice where we can't even identify our own needs. 449 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:14,280 But things like sleep, so important, honestly so important. 450 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:19,000 Things like movement, nutrition, like the quality of what you're eating, who you're 451 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,960 spending time with, your environment, like all of that. 452 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:22,960 We need to restore that. 453 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:28,120 And then mind-body practices, you know, getting our physical and our emotional health back 454 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,120 to good. 455 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,120 Right? 456 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:31,120 That's a big part of it. 457 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,120 It's huge. 458 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,120 And it's hard. 459 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,120 It's not easy. 460 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,120 No. 461 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,120 That's for sure. 462 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:39,520 The third piece that I really work with clients on is, you know, rewire. 463 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:40,520 I call it rewire. 464 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:41,520 So we do a lot of work here. 465 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,400 This is like looking at the things in our life that need to change and actually making 466 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,400 the changes. 467 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,280 And this is where we need support because it's hard to do it on our own. 468 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,280 Right? 469 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,880 So changing or recognizing the patterns that might be contributing. 470 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:54,880 So things like... 471 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:55,880 That you've been doing forever. 472 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:56,880 Your entire life. 473 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:57,880 Yeah. 474 00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:58,880 Oh yeah. 475 00:20:58,880 --> 00:20:59,880 Yeah. 476 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:00,880 And they're not bad. 477 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:01,880 Right? 478 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:02,880 But like things like, I'm a perfectionist. 479 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:03,880 Right? 480 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:04,880 I am a doer. 481 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:05,880 I am like an overachiever. 482 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:06,880 So many people think about themselves that way. 483 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,880 And it's a strength in a lot of ways. 484 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:08,880 Right? 485 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:09,880 I know. 486 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:13,680 But in the end, we almost like need to harness the strength because in the end it can become 487 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:14,680 like a double edged sword. 488 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:15,680 Right? 489 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:16,680 Yeah. 490 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,680 Like notice how we're contributing. 491 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:20,680 Right? 492 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:26,640 How do we shift what needs to be shifted so that we can feel better? 493 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,680 A big piece of this is like self-compassion. 494 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:29,680 Right? 495 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,320 Rewiring that voice in our head that's always ripping ourselves apart. 496 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,320 Oh yeah. 497 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,960 The self-critic, like all the negative self-talk. 498 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,880 Like the way that we can so readily put ourselves down and be so hard on ourselves. 499 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,240 We need to move out of that. 500 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:45,960 And there's a lot of, again, good evidence on the importance of self-compassion when 501 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:50,520 we're trying to overcome burnout or we're trying to get, you know, even just feeling 502 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:51,520 better in general. 503 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:52,520 Yeah. 504 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,520 And it seems so hard sometimes. 505 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,520 It is. 506 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:55,520 Yeah. 507 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:56,520 It is hard. 508 00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:01,520 Like everything that you're saying here, the three points so far are so hard because you 509 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:08,160 basically have to break down everything that you have been taught growing up and you've 510 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:15,720 lived and then reworking it all to make it fit properly or get rid of it. 511 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,920 And that's a lot of work. 512 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:18,920 Yeah. 513 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:19,920 And we understand that we need to do that. 514 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:20,920 Like we just get it logically. 515 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:21,920 But it's hard. 516 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:22,920 Totally. 517 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:23,920 Yeah. 518 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:24,920 I'll do it next week. 519 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:25,920 Yeah. 520 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:26,920 For sure. 521 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,520 And even things like when we're trying to even like go to bed on time or go out for 522 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,200 a walk, like how do we overcome that part of our brain that's like, I don't want to, 523 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,320 you know, I know I should do it, but I still won't follow through. 524 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:36,320 Right. 525 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:41,120 That's the beauty of coaching and like helping us, you know, helping ourselves to move forward. 526 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:46,960 The other piece with the rewire is things like this is hard for people setting boundaries 527 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,160 like super hard for most of us. 528 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,160 Most of us. 529 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:54,320 Because I think that especially as women, we're sort of conditioned that our value comes 530 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,640 from like doing for other people. 531 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:57,640 Yes. 532 00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:58,640 Right. 533 00:22:58,640 --> 00:22:59,640 Oh, God. 534 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,880 As soon as you said that, it's like, yeah, we say yes to everybody because we don't want 535 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,240 to be that person. 536 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,240 Yeah. 537 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,240 Right. 538 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,560 And like the people pleasing and saying yes and like over-functioning and doing everything 539 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,320 for everyone and being like a helper. 540 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,320 It's good. 541 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,320 It's not that we shouldn't do those things. 542 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:17,120 It's not about not doing it, but it's about, you know, being aware of what's driving some 543 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:20,960 of it and making sure it's like a true yes and not something that we're feeling that 544 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,240 we need to do out of obligation. 545 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,120 Other things like tackling relationships. 546 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,120 That's a big part of the rewire. 547 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:29,680 Like, what are the challenges that people are having in their relationships both in 548 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:30,680 and out of the workplace? 549 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:37,360 So becoming equipped how to have hard conversations, how to speak up, how to ask for support so 550 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,720 hard for so many of us. 551 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:45,520 Especially when you either are scared of somebody looking down on you or they actually are. 552 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:46,520 Yeah. 553 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:47,520 Right. 554 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,520 Because people judge. 555 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:49,520 It's just what they do. 556 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:50,520 Right. 557 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,120 And then creating confidence is a really big part of this part, too. 558 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,120 Right. 559 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,120 We lose that sometimes. 560 00:23:54,120 --> 00:24:00,120 But then we become really secure and confident in ourselves so that we can have the life 561 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,740 that we want. 562 00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:03,640 That's the foundation of it all. 563 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,640 We're just broken society. 564 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:06,640 Yeah. 565 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,960 And the second one, this is my favorite one. 566 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,740 I call it reignite joy. 567 00:24:10,740 --> 00:24:13,920 So this is about defining joy for yourself. 568 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,440 Like, what does it mean to you? 569 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:16,440 Right. 570 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:17,440 What does that mean? 571 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,440 Yeah. 572 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,960 And also understanding that it's something that we create. 573 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:29,520 And that's where we tie in community and connection and meaning and purpose and fun and celebration 574 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,520 and having things that light you up and help you look forward to your days. 575 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:37,520 So bringing that in because it's so often, it's like we give that piece up. 576 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,520 Yeah. 577 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:39,520 Right. 578 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:44,360 And then some people, they feel like I've lost that sense of joy or that spark in my 579 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:45,640 life. 580 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,240 And that's what we do in that fourth part. 581 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,240 Right. 582 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,240 We learn how to reignite that piece. 583 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,240 It's hard to. 584 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,240 And bring the joy back. 585 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,280 It's hard to keep that going. 586 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,480 We have everything else going. 587 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,840 That's always seems to be the last thing that you think of. 588 00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,840 Yes. 589 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:00,840 What makes you happy. 590 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:01,840 Yeah. 591 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:02,840 But we need that. 592 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:03,840 Oh, for sure. 593 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,640 Burnout is a lot of what we're doing, but it's also what we're not doing. 594 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:13,880 How long it I know it's different for each person, your program, but in a generalized 595 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,840 like it's obviously not going to happen in a week. 596 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,240 And that's what everybody's looking for is a quick fix. 597 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,240 Oh, yeah. 598 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,240 Right. 599 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,240 And you know, I do. 600 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,960 I would say that people start to see changes early on. 601 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:25,960 Right. 602 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:31,000 When we have the support and we have the tools and even when we have the chance to feel empowered, 603 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:36,200 meaning like when we recognize that we have so much power over our lives, then I think 604 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,120 change happens quicker than we think. 605 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,120 But you're right. 606 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:40,120 It's not overnight. 607 00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:41,120 And we do need to do work. 608 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:44,160 But it's not like work in the sense of like, I got to do this thing. 609 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,160 Right. 610 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,480 It's really fun, fulfilling work. 611 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,480 Yeah. 612 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,000 So I don't think there's a one size fits all for sure. 613 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,980 But I would say I work with people typically for 12 weeks at a minimum. 614 00:25:53,980 --> 00:25:55,560 Some stay longer, some stay shorter. 615 00:25:55,560 --> 00:26:00,840 But most I would recommend 12 weeks for sure, because what it does is allows us to start 616 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:05,960 to do the work that we need to do and to start to actually put it into practice. 617 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,040 You know, like anything else, we're going to get back what we put in. 618 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,040 Right. 619 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:14,600 So when we start to like want to make changes in our life, we have to commit to those for 620 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,600 sure. 621 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:16,600 And for ourselves. 622 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:17,600 Right. 623 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,500 Like we're doing it for for you. 624 00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:22,000 But yeah, I work with people generally for 12 weeks. 625 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:26,200 I'm actually going to be launching like a new program this fall. 626 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,840 So it's a 12 week program. 627 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:34,240 You get six sessions with me and I'm bringing in a group component, which I'm so excited 628 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:35,240 about. 629 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,160 I'm so excited because I think that's the missing piece for a lot of people. 630 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,440 Honestly, we know that we heal in community. 631 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:44,480 There's lots of studies, you know, even out of there was a Harvard study that showed it 632 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,040 was like decades long. 633 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:50,240 But they followed men throughout their life to see like who is the happiness? 634 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,240 What is it like? 635 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,240 Who is the happiest? 636 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,360 What does it really depend on? 637 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:57,840 What they found is that relationships and connection quality of connection is the greatest 638 00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,600 predictor of happiness. 639 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,000 So I think for a lot of us, like a lot of people are lonely, right? 640 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,520 Even when we're surrounded by people. 641 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,320 So I really want to bring in that sense of community. 642 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:10,560 So I'm going to start, you know, a group coaching component that I'm really, really excited 643 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:11,560 about. 644 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:16,360 It's a really great idea because then not only are you just saying you're not alone, 645 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:17,360 you're showing it. 646 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:18,360 Yes. 647 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:19,360 Oh, yeah. 648 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:23,520 I mean, there's nothing better than having coffee with somebody and being able to commiserate 649 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,280 about the same thing that we don't always have time to do. 650 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:31,440 So this they're going to have time to say, hey, it's happening to me too. 651 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:35,600 And yeah, there's so much of each other, so much power in relating like that. 652 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:36,600 Right. 653 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:41,480 And see, you know, even if you're watching somebody else be coached, it's you're learning. 654 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:42,480 We're learning, right? 655 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,320 Because a lot of the central themes are the same, right? 656 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,680 The situations might be different, but a lot of what we experience as people is very universal. 657 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:52,000 Well, and a lot of times, like if you're talking to me and saying, you know, you should be 658 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:56,760 feeling like this or you should be doing this, you're kind of almost put on the spot. 659 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,240 It's like, oh, it's too much to take in. 660 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:02,840 But when you're watching somebody, you saying it to somebody else, sometimes it resonates 661 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:03,840 a little bit better. 662 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:04,840 I find. 663 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:05,840 You're so right. 664 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:06,840 Yeah. 665 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:07,840 Because you're not right in it. 666 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:08,840 You can start to see it. 667 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:09,840 Yeah. 668 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:10,840 You panic when somebody's talking to you. 669 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:11,840 You're like, OK. 670 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:12,840 Yeah. 671 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,840 Yeah. 672 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:14,840 It's really vulnerable and hard to do that sometimes. 673 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:15,840 Right. 674 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,640 But there's like beauty in seeing somebody else be coached. 675 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:22,160 So yeah, I'm hoping I'm going to bring in why I'm bringing in a group component, which 676 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,360 I think is going to be really awesome for a lot of people. 677 00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:26,960 Now, how many people are going to be in that group? 678 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:27,960 I don't know. 679 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:33,400 I'm hoping like I'm hoping I'll probably keep it to 10 to 15 to keep it small group 680 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,280 and then have multiple groups if needed. 681 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,280 Right. 682 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:40,000 But I think, you know, I've done group coaching in the past and I feel like it's just like 683 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,640 an amazing experience for most people who are in that group just to bring people together. 684 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,000 But yeah, we know that sense of community is important. 685 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,880 And I think it's something that even though we're more connected than ever in so many 686 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:55,280 ways, there's in a lot of areas like we're lacking that community that we used to have. 687 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:56,280 Oh, for sure. 688 00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:01,560 Now, one thing I did want to ask you is when you're finding that people are experiencing 689 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:07,080 the burnout and I had alluded to it at the beginning, especially with women, that sometimes 690 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,520 it's a hormone thing. 691 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:14,920 Do you look at that as well to see if it works along like, OK, you're more stressed out during 692 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:15,920 a hunt? 693 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:16,920 Yeah, we were. 694 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,240 Times and yes, that's a great question for sure. 695 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,160 Like we know that emotional and physical is very connected for sure. 696 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,720 There's always a lot of factors and many are physical. 697 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:25,720 Yeah. 698 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:29,040 So I can look at that and I do look at the all of the aspects. 699 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:33,080 But as far as hormonal health, I would link, you know, collaborate with other providers 700 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,960 who that is their expertise. 701 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:41,520 So that's a lot of an NP role to write as a collaborative practice where that circle 702 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:46,400 of care is so important, like making sure each person has the care that they need surrounding 703 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:47,400 them. 704 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:48,400 Oh, great. 705 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:55,280 Now, when you start this group program in the fall, do you know where that's going to 706 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,400 be located yet or is it so it's actually all virtual? 707 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,520 Oh, it's all going to be virtual clients all throughout Ontario. 708 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,480 OK, some out of Ontario. 709 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:04,760 So it's going to be virtual. 710 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,000 So is your practice virtual or it's all virtual? 711 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,000 Fully virtual. 712 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,000 Yeah. 713 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,000 Oh, that's great. 714 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,000 Yeah. 715 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,000 Yeah. 716 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000 You know, it's hard. 717 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,000 Some people are not used to that, right, especially I think with like things like counseling, 718 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,200 we're used to very traditional in person. 719 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:22,400 But I think it's great, right, especially for women who are completely busy. 720 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:23,400 Right. 721 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,400 I have people that I coach in their cars on their lunch. 722 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:31,120 So it's just convenient and it allows me to reach people and people like me to work 723 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,200 with people who I probably couldn't have otherwise. 724 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,360 So it'll be like a big zoom. 725 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,360 Yeah. 726 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,360 Yeah, it's all secure. 727 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,160 And we actually work virtually. 728 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,160 Yeah. 729 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,000 Now, how can somebody sign up for that? 730 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,000 So you could visit my website. 731 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,560 It's I think it'll be in the show notes maybe. 732 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:48,560 Yes. 733 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:49,560 So www.christindacarlo.com. 734 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:50,560 OK. 735 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,160 And there's some information there. 736 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:53,320 But really, you could email me. 737 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,400 My information is all on my web page. 738 00:30:55,400 --> 00:31:00,200 And I offer free discovery calls, so free consultations to come in and talk to me and 739 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,600 see if it's a good fit for you and to ask questions. 740 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,280 And I can tell you about the different ways that you can work with me. 741 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:09,360 I also work with people just on a one-on-one basis, like a per session basis. 742 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:10,360 OK. 743 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:11,800 So that's there as well. 744 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:16,800 And is there going to be any fees for the group program or is it? 745 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:17,800 Yeah. 746 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,800 So it'll be like a one fee for the whole program. 747 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:21,800 OK. 748 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:26,520 And the program includes group calls as well as the one-on-one sessions, as well as I have 749 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:31,960 an online sort of like a platform, like a database where there's self study. 750 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,280 So for people who are busy, I say that and they freak out. 751 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,080 They're like, don't give me any more work. 752 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:37,880 But some people, it's not work, right? 753 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,760 It's there to sort of like deepen this journey for yourself, right? 754 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,560 So some people want to learn more. 755 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,040 They want to do some work on different areas. 756 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:51,680 So I have a database where there's different topics, confidence, relationships, how to 757 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:56,520 manage conflict, how to process emotion, like all of that. 758 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,680 I have self guided study as well. 759 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,400 So that's something that a lot of people find really helpful. 760 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,760 That sounds like a lot of really helpful tools. 761 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:10,240 I mean, just thinking that those tools are available there, I'm feeling a little less 762 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:16,080 stressed, knowing that it's out there and not that hard once you put your mind to it. 763 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:17,080 Yeah, it's fun. 764 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,800 It's just once you get there, it's getting here that's the worst. 765 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:25,520 Yeah, and you know, and try to make it as easy and I don't want to say quick, but easy 766 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:30,520 as possible for people who are busy, this is not meant to make work, but to add value, 767 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,520 right? 768 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:35,800 So when you're struggling in your life, I want to make it easy for you to make the changes 769 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:36,800 that you want to. 770 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:42,120 So I try to provide that high level of support that you need, that guidance, that like safe 771 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:47,000 space that's free of judgment, where you can just like let it all out. 772 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,000 You know what? 773 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,000 We've all been there. 774 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,640 I think that alone is like life changing for a lot of people just to have that place where 775 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:58,920 they can just be honest and share and get it out and know how to move forward. 776 00:32:58,920 --> 00:32:59,920 That's a big key. 777 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:00,920 That's perfect. 778 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:07,100 I am so, so glad I got to talk to you finally and to learn about this and to know that we 779 00:33:07,100 --> 00:33:11,900 have programs like this available because I think there's a lot of people, including 780 00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:19,880 me that would benefit from just learning how to cope with life. 781 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:20,880 Definitely. 782 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:21,880 Yes, for sure. 783 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:22,880 And thank you so much for having me. 784 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:23,880 This was amazing. 785 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:24,880 I was so happy to talk to you. 786 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:26,360 I really appreciated Kristen. 787 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:32,720 And again, I was talking to Kristen DiCarlo, a nurse practitioner here in Windsor, Ontario. 788 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,200 And my name is Tracy Martens. 789 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:38,000 And I want to thank you for joining me for another episode of YQG in Bloom. 790 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:47,440 You guys have a great day.