WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.339 But let's pray, let's ask God for help as we 00:00:02.339 --> 00:00:05.559 look at his word now. Father, thank you that 00:00:05.559 --> 00:00:07.820 you speak to us. Thank you that your word is 00:00:07.820 --> 00:00:11.119 living and active. We pray that your word would 00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:13.859 strengthen us, comfort us, challenge us and change 00:00:13.859 --> 00:00:17.379 us as we look at it now. And we ask these things 00:00:17.379 --> 00:00:22.579 in Jesus' name. Amen. Well, years ago, I took 00:00:22.579 --> 00:00:26.890 up a new hobby. It didn't quite pan out into 00:00:26.890 --> 00:00:31.170 a career change. I won $20 at the Broken Hill 00:00:31.170 --> 00:00:34.509 Fair, but that's as far as it went in terms of 00:00:34.509 --> 00:00:37.450 financial benefit. My new hobby was painting. 00:00:38.270 --> 00:00:41.509 I took up painting because it was so fun and 00:00:41.509 --> 00:00:44.229 good for your mental health. And what I would 00:00:44.229 --> 00:00:47.369 do is I'd find the cheapest canvases I could 00:00:47.369 --> 00:00:49.189 find. You know, here's one I prepared earlier. 00:00:49.829 --> 00:00:53.710 And I'd find a cheap canvas and I would... I'd 00:00:53.710 --> 00:00:55.450 look at it, I'd look at some different ideas 00:00:55.450 --> 00:00:59.649 on TikTok or YouTube as to what I can do, and 00:00:59.649 --> 00:01:03.149 then I'd just paint. And like I've got here, 00:01:03.170 --> 00:01:07.370 these are some of my creations. If you talk to 00:01:07.370 --> 00:01:09.650 Wendy, she does really good realistic painting. 00:01:09.890 --> 00:01:11.989 Mine are all just abstract, kind of throw some 00:01:11.989 --> 00:01:13.870 paint on a canvas, but she's actually really 00:01:13.870 --> 00:01:17.269 good at proper, they look like the thing. So 00:01:17.269 --> 00:01:20.629 I'm very jealous of that. This is what I like 00:01:20.629 --> 00:01:23.109 to do. This is my hobby. And when I get a blank 00:01:23.109 --> 00:01:25.469 canvas, it's interesting to sit there and try 00:01:25.469 --> 00:01:27.969 and work out what am I going to do with it? Because 00:01:27.969 --> 00:01:31.629 each canvas is so unique. It could literally 00:01:31.629 --> 00:01:36.689 become anything. It's full of potential. And 00:01:36.689 --> 00:01:40.189 there's kind of an evolution as I paint. Some 00:01:40.189 --> 00:01:44.629 end up like a masterpiece and some end up pretty 00:01:44.629 --> 00:01:48.900 bad and childish and start again. Now, this might 00:01:48.900 --> 00:01:51.700 be a bit of an oversimplification, but to some 00:01:51.700 --> 00:01:55.620 degree, people are like that, aren't they? When 00:01:55.620 --> 00:01:59.019 a child is born, cute little baby, they're like 00:01:59.019 --> 00:02:02.400 a blank canvas, aren't they? To some degree. 00:02:03.540 --> 00:02:06.659 There's different styles of canvases at the art 00:02:06.659 --> 00:02:09.560 shop. There's different styles of people, aren't 00:02:09.560 --> 00:02:11.400 they? We've all got different genes. We've got 00:02:11.400 --> 00:02:14.960 different heights, different sizes and attributes. 00:02:15.789 --> 00:02:18.810 There's a nature element to us, isn't there? 00:02:20.090 --> 00:02:22.629 Each of us is full of potential because of our 00:02:22.629 --> 00:02:26.110 genes and those sort of things. Yet, how we're 00:02:26.110 --> 00:02:29.969 nurtured shapes us all very differently, doesn't 00:02:29.969 --> 00:02:34.949 it? It shapes the person that we become. In one 00:02:34.949 --> 00:02:38.629 sense, parents are painters, aren't they? They're 00:02:38.629 --> 00:02:42.469 painting on these blank canvases, imprinting 00:02:42.469 --> 00:02:46.719 and ... painting a certain way of living. I mean, 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:50.080 think about who you are today. That didn't happen 00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:54.699 in a vacuum, did it? You are who you are in a 00:02:54.699 --> 00:02:57.960 lot of reasons because you were nurtured a particular 00:02:57.960 --> 00:03:02.900 way, whether for good or for ill. How our parents 00:03:02.900 --> 00:03:08.099 parent us conditions us greatly. It shapes our 00:03:08.099 --> 00:03:10.900 thinking, our insecurities, our habits, how we 00:03:10.900 --> 00:03:14.180 turn up in relationships, and also how we turn 00:03:14.180 --> 00:03:17.560 up as parents as well. Actually, there's a brilliant 00:03:17.560 --> 00:03:20.800 aspect of psychology called attachment theory 00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:24.419 that speaks into this, and again, I found this 00:03:24.419 --> 00:03:26.500 cool thing, attachment theory, so I had to paint 00:03:26.500 --> 00:03:29.800 it. I made a painting about it called Unhealed 00:03:29.800 --> 00:03:33.840 Wounds, and it's actually sitting in my psychologist's 00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:37.580 office. It's about childhood wounds. So that 00:03:37.580 --> 00:03:40.560 little kid on the left -hand side, he's there, 00:03:40.580 --> 00:03:44.099 he's got these wounds, and those wounds plague 00:03:44.099 --> 00:03:48.939 him as he grows up into a man. And he's got to 00:03:48.939 --> 00:03:50.800 work out how to deal with that and how to heal 00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:55.360 that. See, how we're nurtured, how we're cared 00:03:55.360 --> 00:04:01.659 for as kids is so important, isn't it? But I 00:04:01.659 --> 00:04:06.520 want to ask a crucial question about this. Is 00:04:06.520 --> 00:04:12.259 this just how it is? Are we enslaved to our childhood? 00:04:13.659 --> 00:04:16.100 I mean, awesome if you've had great painters, 00:04:16.339 --> 00:04:18.740 you know, if you've had great parents who've 00:04:18.740 --> 00:04:22.620 just done an epic job of raising you. But if 00:04:22.620 --> 00:04:28.199 you haven't, well, is that just how it is? Can 00:04:28.199 --> 00:04:31.620 we actually change how we see ourselves and how 00:04:31.620 --> 00:04:36.209 we turn up in relationships? Can we heal so much 00:04:36.209 --> 00:04:39.990 so that it breaks cycles within ourselves and 00:04:39.990 --> 00:04:44.629 with our own kids as well? Our passage today 00:04:44.629 --> 00:04:47.750 doesn't just tell us what kids should do or how 00:04:47.750 --> 00:04:51.470 to parent. It actually shows us some deeper things. 00:04:51.550 --> 00:04:56.850 It shows us how to reparent ourselves. But before 00:04:56.850 --> 00:04:58.829 we dive in, because we've been moving around 00:04:58.829 --> 00:05:02.980 a bit, we've got to remember where we are. If 00:05:02.980 --> 00:05:05.439 we'd been doing this in order, we'd be in Ephesians 00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:08.420 5, and at the end of Ephesians 5 we're told, 00:05:08.779 --> 00:05:11.420 do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery, 00:05:11.639 --> 00:05:14.879 instead be filled with the Spirit. And Paul then 00:05:14.879 --> 00:05:17.139 goes on to list a bunch of things that it means 00:05:17.139 --> 00:05:18.879 to be filled with the Spirit. What's it mean 00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:21.160 to be filled with the Spirit? Well, one of them 00:05:21.160 --> 00:05:24.300 is that you submit to one another out of reverence 00:05:24.300 --> 00:05:28.040 for Christ. Part of being filled with the Spirit 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:31.699 is submission. And there's three things that 00:05:31.699 --> 00:05:34.199 Pauline goes into. This is often called by scholars 00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:38.639 the household code. There's wives and husbands, 00:05:39.180 --> 00:05:41.600 and how the power dynamics of a marriage work, 00:05:42.420 --> 00:05:44.759 and parents and children, and how the power dynamics 00:05:44.759 --> 00:05:47.500 of that work, and slaves and masters, and in 00:05:47.500 --> 00:05:49.759 the ancient world that was a big thing that was 00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:52.699 kind of what we think employees and employers, 00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:57.480 and how the power dynamics of that work. So that's 00:05:57.480 --> 00:06:00.480 where we're up to. And we're looking today at 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:03.019 parents and children. And here's the big thing 00:06:03.019 --> 00:06:07.120 I hope you'll take away from today. Relationship 00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:13.240 with Jesus transforms how you relate. Relationship 00:06:13.240 --> 00:06:17.060 with Jesus transforms how you relate. How you 00:06:17.060 --> 00:06:18.779 relate to God, how you relate to your spouse, 00:06:18.860 --> 00:06:20.759 how you relate to your kids, how you relate to 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:23.560 your parents, your staff, your boss, even yourself. 00:06:24.680 --> 00:06:27.980 And this is especially true for families. So 00:06:27.980 --> 00:06:31.279 what do we see for families? Well, we see children 00:06:31.279 --> 00:06:34.779 honour your parents. That's the first thing we 00:06:34.779 --> 00:06:38.420 see. And secondly, fathers nurture your children. 00:06:39.420 --> 00:06:41.959 So let's have a look at the first one. Children 00:06:41.959 --> 00:06:45.980 honour your parents. If you've got your Bible 00:06:45.980 --> 00:06:49.040 there, please come with me to Ephesians 6 verse 00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:54.920 1. Children obey your parents in the Lord, for 00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:59.740 this is right. Now, we've got to stop and pause 00:06:59.740 --> 00:07:03.939 and go, isn't this amazing? Paul is directly 00:07:03.939 --> 00:07:08.319 addressing the kids here. That tells us something, 00:07:08.360 --> 00:07:13.740 doesn't it? It tells us that kids matter. God 00:07:13.740 --> 00:07:18.160 has something to say to kids. You know, Jesus 00:07:18.160 --> 00:07:20.220 said, let the little children come to me. He 00:07:20.220 --> 00:07:22.639 wasn't one who rejected the kids. Kids matter 00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:27.310 in church. And that's why we try and do kids 00:07:27.310 --> 00:07:29.410 talks and kids spots and have kids, because we 00:07:29.410 --> 00:07:32.850 want to say kids matter. And we need to be investing 00:07:32.850 --> 00:07:35.689 in them and caring about them and teaching them. 00:07:37.769 --> 00:07:41.230 But Paul here says to them, obey your parents. 00:07:42.310 --> 00:07:44.449 That's how you honour your parents when you're 00:07:44.449 --> 00:07:47.379 growing up. You value them. You value them and 00:07:47.379 --> 00:07:50.540 you obey them and you listen to them. And obeying 00:07:50.540 --> 00:07:54.439 here implies that these kids have moral agency, 00:07:54.600 --> 00:07:59.379 that they have responsibility. Sometimes at home 00:07:59.379 --> 00:08:02.560 with our kids, now and again, it can break into 00:08:02.560 --> 00:08:06.220 World War III. And you know what our kids love 00:08:06.220 --> 00:08:10.339 to do? They love to play the blame game. It's 00:08:10.339 --> 00:08:12.100 usually after they've played some other game 00:08:12.100 --> 00:08:15.019 and it's gone horribly wrong. And then they play 00:08:15.019 --> 00:08:17.579 the blame game. It's very, very like Adam and 00:08:17.579 --> 00:08:19.980 Eve in Eden, you know, it's the woman you put 00:08:19.980 --> 00:08:21.759 here with me, and no, it was the serpent, and 00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:24.399 it's the blame game, isn't it? You point at other 00:08:24.399 --> 00:08:26.920 people and you say it's their fault, and then 00:08:26.920 --> 00:08:28.620 you've got three fingers pointing back. That's 00:08:28.620 --> 00:08:31.939 the hard thing, isn't it? But our kids love to 00:08:31.939 --> 00:08:36.299 play the blame game. But I want to instil in 00:08:36.299 --> 00:08:40.440 them, you've got responsibility. You need to 00:08:40.440 --> 00:08:43.360 be the sort of person who takes responsibility 00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:46.539 for what you brought to the table. You can't 00:08:46.539 --> 00:08:50.039 always be playing the blame game. And I think 00:08:50.039 --> 00:08:52.039 it's really important to instil that into kids 00:08:52.039 --> 00:08:54.440 to say, yeah, when you didn't obey here or you 00:08:54.440 --> 00:08:57.379 didn't do the thing you were meant to do, you've 00:08:57.379 --> 00:09:00.539 got to take responsibility for that. Because 00:09:00.539 --> 00:09:03.539 if, as a parent, I don't instil that into them... 00:09:03.850 --> 00:09:06.210 Then as an adult, they'll grow up into the sort 00:09:06.210 --> 00:09:09.789 of person who makes excuses and gets stuck in 00:09:09.789 --> 00:09:13.049 sin patterns because they won't take responsibility. 00:09:14.409 --> 00:09:19.509 It's so important, isn't it? But obey doesn't 00:09:19.509 --> 00:09:22.070 just imply that we take responsibility. It's 00:09:22.070 --> 00:09:26.669 a call to actually obey. To do what we're told. 00:09:26.909 --> 00:09:29.879 To do as we're commanded. Now, like with all 00:09:29.879 --> 00:09:32.919 obedience, God's Spirit gives Christians a different 00:09:32.919 --> 00:09:36.120 mindset and a different motivation. So, let's 00:09:36.120 --> 00:09:41.559 take obeying parents. Many kids today will disobey 00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:46.179 and disregard their parents. Some do obey, but 00:09:46.179 --> 00:09:48.419 they do it apart from the Lord. I mean, I'm talking 00:09:48.419 --> 00:09:51.169 generally in society. You know, they'll obey 00:09:51.169 --> 00:09:53.269 their parents because they bond to their parents, 00:09:53.590 --> 00:09:56.610 because they think it's wise to. They might obey 00:09:56.610 --> 00:09:58.870 because they don't want to lose screens. They 00:09:58.870 --> 00:10:01.029 might obey because there's some reward they'll 00:10:01.029 --> 00:10:05.009 get out of it. But Christian kids, I mean, those 00:10:05.009 --> 00:10:08.549 aren't bad things, but Christian kids, they should 00:10:08.549 --> 00:10:12.690 also and primarily obey their parents in the 00:10:12.690 --> 00:10:15.169 Lord. That's what it says, doesn't it? Obey your 00:10:15.169 --> 00:10:18.289 parents in the Lord, for this is right. What's 00:10:18.289 --> 00:10:21.399 that mean? What's it mean to obey your parents 00:10:21.399 --> 00:10:25.659 in the Lord? It looks like this. Imagine if a 00:10:25.659 --> 00:10:28.580 parent, a Christian parent, says to their kids, 00:10:29.379 --> 00:10:33.679 clean your room or brush your teeth. How should 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:36.139 the Christian kids see their parent when they 00:10:36.139 --> 00:10:41.179 say that? They should see Jesus standing behind 00:10:41.179 --> 00:10:45.950 them, nodding along with the parent. I want you 00:10:45.950 --> 00:10:48.529 to obey them. That's what Jesus is there standing 00:10:48.529 --> 00:10:52.389 behind the parents saying. He's saying, I'm Lord, 00:10:52.870 --> 00:10:55.590 I'm King over everything. I died on the cross 00:10:55.590 --> 00:10:58.690 and forgave all your sins. I'm your saviour. 00:10:58.809 --> 00:11:01.629 I've given you my spirit so that you can joyfully 00:11:01.629 --> 00:11:07.590 worship me by obeying me. And I've put these 00:11:07.590 --> 00:11:10.570 folks here in charge of you. They're your parents. 00:11:11.009 --> 00:11:14.330 And so if you disobey them, you're disobeying. 00:11:16.019 --> 00:11:18.740 Now, there are limits, right? There are times 00:11:18.740 --> 00:11:20.659 where Jesus would be shaking his head going, 00:11:20.940 --> 00:11:22.940 don't do that, even if your parent tells you 00:11:22.940 --> 00:11:26.220 to. If a parent asks a child to sin, they shouldn't 00:11:26.220 --> 00:11:30.940 sin. But the norm is to obey parents because 00:11:30.940 --> 00:11:33.759 of Jesus and his gospel, not just because you'll 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:36.139 get iPad, not just because you'll miss out on 00:11:36.139 --> 00:11:39.379 TV, not just to get a reward or whatever it might 00:11:39.379 --> 00:11:45.539 be, but because of Jesus. That's the key primary 00:11:45.539 --> 00:11:51.379 motivation. Now, you know what this means? Well, 00:11:51.379 --> 00:11:55.159 for kids, it means they need to see mum and dad's 00:11:55.159 --> 00:11:59.659 instructions differently. They need to try and 00:11:59.659 --> 00:12:02.279 see for themselves that these instructions aren't 00:12:02.279 --> 00:12:04.679 just coming from mum and dad, they're coming 00:12:04.679 --> 00:12:09.000 from Jesus through mum and dad. And for parents, 00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:12.320 that means we need to try and instil that into 00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:15.240 our kids. We need to remember Jesus is standing 00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:19.559 behind us and we need to instil that kind of 00:12:19.559 --> 00:12:24.600 outlook in our kids. So it's right to say to 00:12:24.600 --> 00:12:27.139 your kids, you know, things like, hey, look, 00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:30.360 I love you, I care about you, but Jesus has put 00:12:30.360 --> 00:12:33.419 me in charge of this family and I need you to 00:12:33.419 --> 00:12:36.620 listen to me because that's the right thing to 00:12:36.620 --> 00:12:40.519 do. To teach your kids that submission is a good 00:12:40.519 --> 00:12:44.090 thing. That's a healthy right thing to do. I 00:12:44.090 --> 00:12:46.590 mean, you watch a Disney movie, that's the last 00:12:46.590 --> 00:12:48.850 thing they ever do, isn't it? Have you noticed 00:12:48.850 --> 00:12:50.809 that every Disney movie seems to be about some 00:12:50.809 --> 00:12:52.750 sort of rebellion against authority figures? 00:12:53.549 --> 00:12:55.710 It's just what we do in today's society. It's 00:12:55.710 --> 00:12:58.450 all like, you know, submission can never be good. 00:12:58.850 --> 00:13:02.210 You know, thank you, Disney. But what we need 00:13:02.210 --> 00:13:05.210 to do is instil in our kids, no, submission's 00:13:05.210 --> 00:13:07.830 a good thing. You know, there's times where you 00:13:07.830 --> 00:13:11.120 shouldn't, for sure. But it is a good thing to 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:16.620 submit to authorities. We need to help our kids 00:13:16.620 --> 00:13:21.840 be gospel -driven in their obedience. And when 00:13:21.840 --> 00:13:24.519 adults have that approach, it gives a home more 00:13:24.519 --> 00:13:28.139 order, more peace, more safety. It helps give 00:13:28.139 --> 00:13:31.059 kids a secure and healthy foundation for their 00:13:31.059 --> 00:13:36.360 lives. But that's not all that the gospel does. 00:13:37.299 --> 00:13:41.259 It also gives us hope. Look at verses two to 00:13:41.259 --> 00:13:45.080 three. Honor your father and mother, which is 00:13:45.080 --> 00:13:48.360 the first commandment with a promise, so that 00:13:48.360 --> 00:13:51.259 it may go well with you and that you may enjoy 00:13:51.259 --> 00:13:56.440 long life on the earth. So Paul quotes number 00:13:56.440 --> 00:13:59.340 five of the 10 commandments, honor your father 00:13:59.340 --> 00:14:04.059 and mother. Honoring parents is about respecting, 00:14:04.480 --> 00:14:08.370 revering and valuing them. And I don't know if 00:14:08.370 --> 00:14:10.309 you've sat back and thought about it, but this 00:14:10.309 --> 00:14:14.210 is a serious enough command that it's in the 00:14:14.210 --> 00:14:18.370 Big Ten. It's there with don't murder and don't 00:14:18.370 --> 00:14:21.190 commit adultery and all these other things. This 00:14:21.190 --> 00:14:25.909 is a big deal, because it's so key to households 00:14:25.909 --> 00:14:29.230 running well, society running well. There's just 00:14:29.230 --> 00:14:31.669 so much that goes with this. When parents are 00:14:31.669 --> 00:14:36.590 honoured, it is a really good thing. But Paul 00:14:36.590 --> 00:14:39.929 here says this command is incredibly profound 00:14:39.929 --> 00:14:45.370 because this command is a package deal. It comes 00:14:45.370 --> 00:14:48.750 with a promise. Do you see the promise? That 00:14:48.750 --> 00:14:51.529 it may go well with you and that you may enjoy 00:14:51.529 --> 00:14:54.529 long life on the earth or in the land, depending 00:14:54.529 --> 00:14:58.549 on your translation. This is a promise to Israel, 00:14:58.570 --> 00:15:01.649 right? With the Ten Commandments, but so how 00:15:01.649 --> 00:15:05.179 then is it for us? What land are we being told 00:15:05.179 --> 00:15:09.639 here? Well, remember in Ephesians chapters two 00:15:09.639 --> 00:15:12.460 and three, we saw that the promises to Israel 00:15:12.460 --> 00:15:16.340 are now for Gentile Christians too. And I think 00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:20.480 it includes this one. Blessings, the promised 00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:26.519 land, eternal life, are available to us if we're 00:15:26.519 --> 00:15:30.259 non -Jewish. Not by works. We've seen in the 00:15:30.259 --> 00:15:33.679 whole book. It's about grace, isn't it? And so 00:15:33.679 --> 00:15:37.720 honouring parents, that's part of grace at work, 00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:41.159 isn't it? Honouring parents is an expression 00:15:41.159 --> 00:15:47.899 of faith in God's grace. A few years ago, I took 00:15:47.899 --> 00:15:51.379 our older boys zip lining in Illawarra. That's 00:15:51.379 --> 00:15:53.519 not my older boys, but I wanted to give you a 00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:57.980 picture of what the zip lining looks like. And 00:15:57.980 --> 00:16:00.379 what they do is they put a whole bunch of harnesses 00:16:00.379 --> 00:16:03.480 on you and straps on you to keep you safe. And 00:16:03.480 --> 00:16:05.159 you sit there and you go, well, I know I'm safe. 00:16:05.220 --> 00:16:07.539 I've got all these harnesses, you know, attached 00:16:07.539 --> 00:16:11.519 to me. My boys and I intellectually believed 00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:16.240 that the harnesses would hold us. But you know 00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:18.720 what? As we got to that platform, each of us 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:24.019 were a little bit tentative to jump. Why? Well, 00:16:24.019 --> 00:16:28.679 because it's scary. And because this is not just 00:16:28.679 --> 00:16:31.240 an intellectual exercise, it's will the harness 00:16:31.240 --> 00:16:37.480 hold person X, right? Will it hold me? And the 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:40.399 action of jumping shows, well, you know what, 00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:44.419 I really do trust the harness. I really have 00:16:44.419 --> 00:16:47.539 faith that the harness will hold me. Not jumping, 00:16:47.620 --> 00:16:50.100 if you stay there glued to the platform and they 00:16:50.100 --> 00:16:51.940 have to come up and get you down with a ladder, 00:16:52.940 --> 00:16:55.299 that shows you got no faith at all, doesn't it? 00:16:56.490 --> 00:16:59.129 And it's the same when we seek to honour our 00:16:59.129 --> 00:17:02.490 parents in light of the Gospel. Not that we're 00:17:02.490 --> 00:17:06.049 perfect, but real faith will produce action. 00:17:07.569 --> 00:17:11.089 And so obeying this command is an expression 00:17:11.089 --> 00:17:14.690 of our faith in God's grace. It shows that we 00:17:14.690 --> 00:17:19.750 trust that Jesus is our Lord and Saviour. Now 00:17:19.750 --> 00:17:22.430 this will play out differently for each of us 00:17:22.430 --> 00:17:26.250 depending on our situation. What's it look like 00:17:26.250 --> 00:17:30.329 to honour your parents, depending on your situation? 00:17:30.369 --> 00:17:32.750 Because we're all different. I mean, if you're 00:17:32.750 --> 00:17:36.309 an adult out of home, you still need to honour 00:17:36.309 --> 00:17:39.289 your parents, don't you? It doesn't mean that 00:17:39.289 --> 00:17:41.730 you obey them in the same way you did as a kid, 00:17:42.690 --> 00:17:45.569 but you still need to honour them. You still 00:17:45.569 --> 00:17:48.630 need to respect and provide for them and value 00:17:48.630 --> 00:17:52.049 them. You've got to work out what does that look 00:17:52.049 --> 00:17:54.549 like? What is pleasing to God in that situation? 00:17:56.259 --> 00:17:59.259 Well hang on Brendan, what if I'm an adult but 00:17:59.259 --> 00:18:03.380 I've got dishonourable, toxic parents? What do 00:18:03.380 --> 00:18:07.400 I do then? Well there's no little asterisk in 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:09.160 the command that says, you know, if your parents 00:18:09.160 --> 00:18:12.440 aren't honourable, don't honour them. We're still 00:18:12.440 --> 00:18:14.420 to honour them, but yes, you've got to work out 00:18:14.420 --> 00:18:17.880 how. That's going to be tricky. Boundaries are 00:18:17.880 --> 00:18:21.140 appropriate. You've got to be careful in how 00:18:21.140 --> 00:18:22.859 you talk to them. Sometimes you need to give 00:18:22.859 --> 00:18:25.700 yourself distance. to protect yourself. That's 00:18:25.700 --> 00:18:30.720 healthy and wise. But make sure you pray for 00:18:30.720 --> 00:18:36.079 them. Make sure you forgive them. I think that's 00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:39.000 probably the key thing with parents like that. 00:18:39.920 --> 00:18:41.500 Because if you don't do those things, you're 00:18:41.500 --> 00:18:43.859 not going to want to honour them in any way, 00:18:43.980 --> 00:18:48.259 will you? So pray for them, forgive them. If 00:18:48.259 --> 00:18:51.380 you're a kid with a non -Christian parent, and 00:18:51.380 --> 00:18:54.180 most of the kids have left, but, you know, You've 00:18:54.180 --> 00:18:56.019 still got lots to learn from your parents. You 00:18:56.019 --> 00:18:58.000 shouldn't despise them. You should honour them 00:18:58.000 --> 00:19:00.680 and learn from them. It's an opportunity to grow 00:19:00.680 --> 00:19:04.000 by listening to them. And if you're a kid with 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:07.000 a Christian parent, what a head start you have. 00:19:07.960 --> 00:19:12.619 What a great thing. Make sure you're listening 00:19:12.619 --> 00:19:16.980 to them carefully and obeying them. But whatever 00:19:16.980 --> 00:19:20.440 our situation, what's the key? The key is to 00:19:20.440 --> 00:19:24.210 trust Jesus. and seek to honour our parents in 00:19:24.210 --> 00:19:29.289 an appropriate, wise way. It's trusting the Gospel. 00:19:29.950 --> 00:19:32.809 That's what heals us, strengthens us and empowers 00:19:32.809 --> 00:19:37.230 us. That's what shifts our thinking to help us 00:19:37.230 --> 00:19:42.630 do what is right and pleasing to Jesus. So we've 00:19:42.630 --> 00:19:45.349 looked at kids of all ages, what they should 00:19:45.349 --> 00:19:48.230 do, how it's right and beneficial for them to 00:19:48.230 --> 00:19:51.390 honour their parents. But what about parents? 00:19:51.869 --> 00:19:55.829 What should parents do? Well, that passage tells 00:19:55.829 --> 00:20:01.109 us fathers nurture your children. Fathers nurture 00:20:01.109 --> 00:20:04.029 your children. And we'll see how mothers fit 00:20:04.029 --> 00:20:06.230 into this too, don't worry. But it's telling 00:20:06.230 --> 00:20:08.769 us fathers nurture your children. Have a look 00:20:08.769 --> 00:20:14.069 at verse four. Fathers do not exasperate your 00:20:14.069 --> 00:20:17.470 children, instead bring them up in the training 00:20:17.470 --> 00:20:21.319 and instruction of the Lord. or the discipline 00:20:21.319 --> 00:20:25.420 and instruction of the Lord. Now, why are fathers 00:20:25.420 --> 00:20:30.039 addressed? Because fathers are the ones in the 00:20:30.039 --> 00:20:33.839 household who should set the tone. They're the 00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:36.000 ones who should lead, they're the ones who initiate, 00:20:36.279 --> 00:20:39.160 they're the ones who should drive things. And 00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:42.099 the wives, as we see in the passage before, they're 00:20:42.099 --> 00:20:46.559 to submit to that. But the men need to be the 00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:49.440 ones in a house setting the tone. Now, if you're 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:52.420 a single mum, can I just shout out to you? That 00:20:52.420 --> 00:20:55.880 is a tough gig. And I want to say you are doing 00:20:55.880 --> 00:20:58.460 something incredibly amazing and challenging 00:20:58.460 --> 00:21:02.759 and well done to you. That is really, really 00:21:02.759 --> 00:21:06.500 tough. And we need to encourage our single mums 00:21:06.500 --> 00:21:10.759 because that is a really hard thing. But men 00:21:10.759 --> 00:21:14.960 here are meant to be leading the home well. What 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:18.529 tone? What tone are they meant to have? What 00:21:18.529 --> 00:21:21.410 tone are they meant to set? Well, it tells us 00:21:21.410 --> 00:21:26.009 here, do not exasperate your children. Instead, 00:21:26.190 --> 00:21:28.130 bring them up in the training and instruction 00:21:28.130 --> 00:21:32.750 of the Lord. So don't exasperate your kids. Hang 00:21:32.750 --> 00:21:36.910 on, Paul. Have you seen how exasperated I get 00:21:36.910 --> 00:21:43.049 from my kids? Are you sure? Did you get it right? 00:21:43.130 --> 00:21:46.609 Is there something in the Greek there? No, no, 00:21:46.630 --> 00:21:50.930 no, that's right. We're to manage ourselves. 00:21:52.009 --> 00:21:55.690 We're to help our kids learn to behave and manage 00:21:55.690 --> 00:21:59.829 themselves, too. And the way we do that is not 00:21:59.829 --> 00:22:02.970 to just lose it every time our kids lose it, 00:22:02.970 --> 00:22:05.230 and look, I struggle with that as much as anyone, 00:22:06.049 --> 00:22:09.130 but instead we're to bring them up, literally 00:22:09.130 --> 00:22:13.289 nurture them with loving discipline and with 00:22:13.289 --> 00:22:17.539 instruction about... the Lord Jesus. How do we 00:22:17.539 --> 00:22:21.099 do that? Well, there's something subtle here 00:22:21.099 --> 00:22:26.519 that underlies all of this, right? You can't 00:22:26.519 --> 00:22:30.539 nurture your kids if you're not growing yourself. 00:22:32.019 --> 00:22:33.859 You can't nurture your kids if you're not growing 00:22:33.859 --> 00:22:36.779 yourself. You can't give to someone else what 00:22:36.779 --> 00:22:42.609 you don't have. And so what is Dad's job? Well, 00:22:42.609 --> 00:22:45.950 he can't do his job if he's not growing himself. 00:22:46.170 --> 00:22:49.109 His job is to lead the family. He can't do that 00:22:49.109 --> 00:22:54.450 if he's not growing in Christ. So godly parenting 00:22:54.450 --> 00:22:59.390 is fundamentally not managing the kids, but above 00:22:59.390 --> 00:23:03.549 all managing yourself, leading yourself, growing 00:23:03.549 --> 00:23:07.650 yourself so that you can do a good job of managing 00:23:07.650 --> 00:23:12.609 and leading the kids. Picture this. It's Friday. 00:23:13.650 --> 00:23:17.549 Dad comes home from work and oh, it's been a 00:23:17.549 --> 00:23:21.809 day. He's stressed. And to top it all off, the 00:23:21.809 --> 00:23:26.710 kids are ratty. Wifey is spent. She's been doing 00:23:26.710 --> 00:23:28.730 a bit of work too and she had to pick up the 00:23:28.730 --> 00:23:32.269 kids. But Dad walks in the door. What will Dad 00:23:32.269 --> 00:23:35.990 do? I mean, they're there in the lounge room 00:23:35.990 --> 00:23:40.430 and the spot fires start to begin. What's dad 00:23:40.430 --> 00:23:42.750 going to do? Is he going to be the gasoline? 00:23:44.130 --> 00:23:45.890 You know, he's just going to make everything 00:23:45.890 --> 00:23:48.250 worse. He's going to escalate everything out 00:23:48.250 --> 00:23:51.809 of proportion. Easy to do that as a dad, I know. 00:23:52.809 --> 00:23:55.250 But as a dad, you want to be the extinguisher. 00:23:56.410 --> 00:23:58.789 You want to bring everything down to a place 00:23:58.789 --> 00:24:04.190 of calm again. Or it's dinner time and the tantrums 00:24:04.190 --> 00:24:06.789 are just everywhere. Do you know why there are 00:24:06.789 --> 00:24:10.359 tantrums? because how dare mum put something 00:24:10.359 --> 00:24:15.400 green on the plate? Can you believe it? What 00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:18.460 was she thinking? And the kids lose it because 00:24:18.460 --> 00:24:20.680 they don't want to eat anything green, they just 00:24:20.680 --> 00:24:24.619 want anything brown. What's dad going to do? 00:24:25.779 --> 00:24:29.680 Will he be a blowtorch who just loses it at the 00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:32.859 kids and is critical of them and... There's a 00:24:32.859 --> 00:24:35.019 time for constructive criticism for sure, but 00:24:35.019 --> 00:24:37.619 that's not what I'm talking about. He just loses 00:24:37.619 --> 00:24:43.839 his Nana. Or will he be a balm? Will he soothe 00:24:43.839 --> 00:24:47.059 them? Will he calm them? Will he be firm with 00:24:47.059 --> 00:24:52.480 them but loving? Or on the weekend? You know, 00:24:52.700 --> 00:24:54.759 what's going on on the weekend? Hey, you know, 00:24:54.759 --> 00:24:58.059 sometimes you just need a screen day because 00:24:58.059 --> 00:25:00.960 you're sick or whatever, but is that always the 00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:04.690 pattern? Screens all the time. Or is Dad there 00:25:04.690 --> 00:25:07.710 seeking to connect with his kids, model Christ 00:25:07.710 --> 00:25:10.869 to them, teach them about Jesus? Is he finding 00:25:10.869 --> 00:25:15.450 time in the week to do that well? Now, I'm not 00:25:15.450 --> 00:25:19.289 saying it's easy. I think it's hard being a parent. 00:25:20.089 --> 00:25:23.029 You've got to learn how to balance harsh and 00:25:23.029 --> 00:25:25.210 indulgent, don't you? There's a middle ground 00:25:25.210 --> 00:25:27.250 that you're trying to hit all the time. You don't 00:25:27.250 --> 00:25:31.039 want to go to those extremes. And you face constant 00:25:31.039 --> 00:25:34.380 challenges and pressures as a dad where you've 00:25:34.380 --> 00:25:37.880 got to balance life and being a parent and your 00:25:37.880 --> 00:25:39.940 marriage and, you know, your own relationship 00:25:39.940 --> 00:25:42.299 with God and, you know, doing a bit of exercise 00:25:42.299 --> 00:25:44.940 once in a while and all these things. It's hard. 00:25:46.660 --> 00:25:48.920 But the only way you're going to do that is if 00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:51.339 you bring your best self to the table, isn't 00:25:51.339 --> 00:25:56.680 it? And a lot of that depends on how you were 00:25:56.680 --> 00:26:00.480 raised. This is one of my favourite paintings 00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:03.680 that I did. It used to sit in my girl's room 00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:08.359 in Broken Hill. I got a bunch of balloons. This 00:26:08.359 --> 00:26:11.440 is the genius of TikTok. I got a bunch of balloons, 00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:14.579 blew them up and dipped them in paint and that's 00:26:14.579 --> 00:26:17.579 a cool way to make flowers. So there you go if 00:26:17.579 --> 00:26:21.059 you want to try something next weekend. But if 00:26:21.059 --> 00:26:23.920 you were to get up close to this painting and 00:26:23.920 --> 00:26:27.140 look at it... you'd see there's weird bumps and 00:26:27.140 --> 00:26:29.420 lines all over it. And you go, what's going on 00:26:29.420 --> 00:26:32.599 there? Well, with this painting, I didn't start 00:26:32.599 --> 00:26:34.339 with a blank canvas. It was actually one I'd 00:26:34.339 --> 00:26:38.799 already painted. And I painted over it. I painted 00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:41.279 over something old and made it into something 00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:47.119 new. And it's the same with ourselves. Your childhood 00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:51.380 shaped you, but it doesn't have to define you. 00:26:52.099 --> 00:26:57.900 You can repaint and reparent yourself. But Brendan, 00:26:57.980 --> 00:27:01.200 how can I do that? How can I grow and reparent 00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:06.380 myself and be different when I'm stressed, tired 00:27:06.380 --> 00:27:09.339 and stuck in not great patterns all the time? 00:27:09.599 --> 00:27:11.500 I'm barely surviving and you're there adding 00:27:11.500 --> 00:27:15.140 another thing onto my plate. Come on! I get it. 00:27:15.140 --> 00:27:18.500 It's tough. It'd be nice if you were just a blank 00:27:18.500 --> 00:27:21.380 canvas again and you could just start from scratch. 00:27:21.400 --> 00:27:25.359 That'd be great. But none of us are. And actually 00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:29.359 the best environment to grow in and work all 00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:33.980 this out is the current one that you're in. Look, 00:27:33.980 --> 00:27:37.059 I don't think you can really reparent yourself 00:27:37.059 --> 00:27:42.140 by a pool on your own in Bali. It doesn't work. 00:27:42.519 --> 00:27:44.980 Because the tough environment that you're in 00:27:44.980 --> 00:27:49.380 exposes the wounds that need healing. So what 00:27:49.380 --> 00:27:53.619 do we need to do to heal and grow? Well, we need 00:27:53.619 --> 00:27:57.759 to get curious. What are the things that trigger 00:27:57.759 --> 00:28:00.079 me? What are my insecurities? What are my sin 00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:04.180 habits that I need to deal with? We need to get 00:28:04.180 --> 00:28:07.640 support. You know, friends who can keep you accountable 00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:11.380 and who can encourage you. Maybe if you've got 00:28:11.380 --> 00:28:13.660 some deep wounds and scars, maybe a psychologist 00:28:13.660 --> 00:28:18.000 is needed. But here's the big one above all. 00:28:19.299 --> 00:28:22.589 You need to bring the gospel to bear. on your 00:28:22.589 --> 00:28:26.630 heart. Bring the gospel to bear on your heart. 00:28:27.150 --> 00:28:29.529 Prayerfully bring the gospel to bear on your 00:28:29.529 --> 00:28:33.230 heart. You know, when you're stressed because 00:28:33.230 --> 00:28:35.410 you're always worried about things, you need 00:28:35.410 --> 00:28:37.690 to prayerfully bring the gospel to bear on your 00:28:37.690 --> 00:28:41.490 heart and say, Jesus is in control. He loves 00:28:41.490 --> 00:28:48.750 me. I don't need to worry about this. I can see 00:28:48.750 --> 00:28:52.690 things differently because of Him. Or when you're 00:28:52.690 --> 00:28:56.470 just so exhausted and you've been trying everything 00:28:56.470 --> 00:28:58.869 with your kids and you just, you feel like you've 00:28:58.869 --> 00:29:00.450 got bruises on your head because you've been 00:29:00.450 --> 00:29:03.970 banging your head against a wall so much. And 00:29:03.970 --> 00:29:05.430 you just think, I don't want to try anymore. 00:29:05.450 --> 00:29:08.170 This seems impossible. Bring the gospel to bear 00:29:08.170 --> 00:29:12.730 on your heart. The gospel says God can do more 00:29:12.730 --> 00:29:16.430 than you think, ask or imagine. The gospel says 00:29:16.430 --> 00:29:19.410 that you've got a power within you, resurrection 00:29:19.410 --> 00:29:24.960 power. You can change and be different. Go back 00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:27.799 to that gospel, let it refresh you, revitalise 00:29:27.799 --> 00:29:33.579 you, strengthen you again. What about the times 00:29:33.579 --> 00:29:35.940 where you're there and you feel incredibly guilty? 00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:41.039 You've lost it at the kids, you haven't been 00:29:41.039 --> 00:29:44.980 barm dad, you've been fireworks dad, you've blown 00:29:44.980 --> 00:29:49.339 up, it's not good. Bring the gospel to bear on 00:29:49.339 --> 00:29:53.900 your heart. All that guilt, all that shame, go 00:29:53.900 --> 00:29:58.680 to the cross. See that Jesus paid for it all. 00:29:58.980 --> 00:30:02.259 That he's taken the punishment for it all. And 00:30:02.259 --> 00:30:07.619 let it fill you with thanksgiving and joy. See 00:30:07.619 --> 00:30:10.140 the gospel has the power to change you in the 00:30:10.140 --> 00:30:14.539 deepest ways possible. It just takes thought, 00:30:14.920 --> 00:30:20.440 time and work. But it's worth it. Not just for 00:30:20.440 --> 00:30:24.240 you, but for your kids as well. Because what 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:27.460 could be better than seeing a dad and a mum who 00:30:27.460 --> 00:30:36.240 do that? So let's recap. We asked, are we enslaved 00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:43.460 to... Thanks, Siri. We asked, are we enslaved 00:30:43.460 --> 00:30:48.579 to our childhood? And the answer is we're not. 00:30:48.700 --> 00:30:53.559 Relationship with Jesus transforms how you relate. 00:30:54.579 --> 00:30:56.859 How you relate to God, yourself, your parents, 00:30:57.019 --> 00:31:02.180 your kids. Yep. And with a gospel brush we can 00:31:02.180 --> 00:31:05.279 repaint what is already there. Your childhood 00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:09.259 doesn't have to define you. You can let the gospel 00:31:09.259 --> 00:31:13.339 define you. Through Jesus you have a new father. 00:31:13.630 --> 00:31:16.190 who loves you and cares about you. You have a 00:31:16.190 --> 00:31:18.650 new home in heaven. You have a new heart with 00:31:18.650 --> 00:31:20.950 a clear conscience because you've been forgiven 00:31:20.950 --> 00:31:25.670 by him. But what's this mean for each of us? 00:31:27.430 --> 00:31:29.130 If you're here today and you're not a Christian, 00:31:30.670 --> 00:31:34.130 I don't know what your childhood was like. And 00:31:34.130 --> 00:31:37.730 I'm very sorry if it was traumatic, especially 00:31:37.730 --> 00:31:41.230 if you had Christian parents, because it should 00:31:41.230 --> 00:31:44.710 have been awesome. And if they let you down and 00:31:44.710 --> 00:31:47.789 were hypocritical, I am so sorry. It shouldn't 00:31:47.789 --> 00:31:52.490 have been like that. Yet Jesus is offering you 00:31:52.490 --> 00:31:55.809 today the love you should have got. Actually, 00:31:55.809 --> 00:32:00.029 he's offering you infinitely more. In him you 00:32:00.029 --> 00:32:05.569 are cherished and precious. In him you can find 00:32:05.569 --> 00:32:11.710 healing. He's offering you hope of a new world. 00:32:11.960 --> 00:32:15.119 where the wrongs of the past will be made right. 00:32:17.140 --> 00:32:18.700 I want to ask, what are you going to do with 00:32:18.700 --> 00:32:25.640 that? Are you really going to reject that? Today's 00:32:25.640 --> 00:32:29.420 the day to come up the front and pray and receive 00:32:29.420 --> 00:32:33.859 it for yourself. Come talk to me or come pray 00:32:33.859 --> 00:32:38.559 up the front here and bring Jesus into your life 00:32:38.559 --> 00:32:41.640 and get the healing, the hope. and the forgiveness 00:32:41.640 --> 00:32:47.500 and the love that we all need. But if you're 00:32:47.500 --> 00:32:50.099 a Christian, I hope you've been challenged today 00:32:50.099 --> 00:32:53.380 to see that the priority is to bring the Gospel 00:32:53.380 --> 00:32:57.420 to bear on your heart, to work on yourself. And 00:32:57.420 --> 00:33:01.039 we all need to do that, no matter which group 00:33:01.039 --> 00:33:05.500 we're in. I mean, some of us here are kids, or 00:33:05.500 --> 00:33:09.640 maybe we want to tell our kids this. But I mean, 00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:13.920 as a kid, it's hard being told what to do. But 00:33:13.920 --> 00:33:15.940 I tell you what, it's easier to do it when you 00:33:15.940 --> 00:33:18.680 see that your parents have been put there by 00:33:18.680 --> 00:33:22.599 Jesus. When you're thankful to God for your parents, 00:33:24.579 --> 00:33:27.440 I'd encourage, I want to encourage all the parents 00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:32.019 here to encourage their kids to do that, to honour 00:33:32.019 --> 00:33:38.279 their parents well. But... All of us here, we're 00:33:38.279 --> 00:33:42.099 children of somebody, aren't we? And if our parents 00:33:42.099 --> 00:33:45.339 are alive, this is a challenge, too, for us to 00:33:45.339 --> 00:33:50.480 honour them. Every month we do a service at Infinite 00:33:50.480 --> 00:33:53.359 Care, and it's a lot of fun, and I really enjoy 00:33:53.359 --> 00:33:57.920 going. But it's actually very sad sometimes seeing 00:33:57.920 --> 00:34:00.579 people who've been just put away in a nursing 00:34:00.579 --> 00:34:03.519 home and tucked away there and forgotten about. 00:34:05.339 --> 00:34:07.599 I think that's something that happens in the 00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:10.800 West, not so much in other cultures, but in the 00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:14.440 West we do that, where we put our parents away 00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:16.519 and we forget about them, and I don't think that's 00:34:16.519 --> 00:34:20.800 honouring to parents. I think Christians need 00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:25.219 to love and care for their parents all through 00:34:25.219 --> 00:34:31.000 life and honour them well. But what's this saying 00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:34.699 to you if you've lost a father or if you've If 00:34:34.699 --> 00:34:37.960 you're estranged from your kids, I mean, those 00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:40.019 things are incredibly hard too, aren't they? 00:34:41.639 --> 00:34:43.559 Well, I hope you've seen today that you have 00:34:43.559 --> 00:34:46.320 comfort in the Lord Jesus and comfort in knowing 00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:50.719 God as your Heavenly Father. I'm not saying it's 00:34:50.719 --> 00:34:54.000 easy, but I'm saying there is hope, there is 00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:58.019 comfort there that you can draw on and be strengthened 00:34:58.019 --> 00:35:03.400 by. And if you are estranged from your kids, 00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:06.079 Can I encourage you, I think one of the most 00:35:06.079 --> 00:35:09.360 important things you can do is to take responsibility. 00:35:10.579 --> 00:35:13.019 I'm not saying that you did everything horribly 00:35:13.019 --> 00:35:15.940 wrong or anything like that, but there are things 00:35:15.940 --> 00:35:18.400 you probably didn't do well, or none of us do. 00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:22.019 And the best thing you can do is own your failures 00:35:22.019 --> 00:35:25.940 before your kids, I think, and love them as much 00:35:25.940 --> 00:35:29.900 as they will allow. It's tricky, it's complicated, 00:35:29.900 --> 00:35:33.039 but I think that's one of the key things to do. 00:35:35.659 --> 00:35:38.619 But there's also people here today who aren't 00:35:38.619 --> 00:35:43.300 parents who want to be. And maybe it's that in 00:35:43.300 --> 00:35:45.320 time, God will allow that. And if that's the 00:35:45.320 --> 00:35:47.519 case, I hope you've got greater clarity today 00:35:47.519 --> 00:35:51.719 on what parenting looks like. But there are some 00:35:51.719 --> 00:35:53.739 people here who want to have kids and can't, 00:35:53.900 --> 00:35:58.159 and that brings a deep grief. And I'm very sorry 00:35:58.159 --> 00:36:02.260 for that. But can I encourage you, please don't 00:36:02.260 --> 00:36:06.420 bottle it up? Share it with God, share it with 00:36:06.420 --> 00:36:10.739 those around you. Feel the joy of being in the 00:36:10.739 --> 00:36:14.039 family of God's people who love you and support 00:36:14.039 --> 00:36:17.940 you. And don't lose sight of the role you do 00:36:17.940 --> 00:36:23.519 have to play. Ephesians 4, if you remember back 00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:26.179 to what Pete Hughes said on Family Camp, shows 00:36:26.179 --> 00:36:29.920 us that we're a body and that we build each other 00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:32.199 up. And that includes the kids in our church. 00:36:33.389 --> 00:36:35.489 You know that old saying, it takes a village 00:36:35.489 --> 00:36:39.690 to raise a child. I remember growing up when 00:36:39.690 --> 00:36:41.650 my parents got divorced. I didn't see my dad 00:36:41.650 --> 00:36:44.170 very much, but there was a guy in our church 00:36:44.170 --> 00:36:49.530 who took it on himself. He was single and he 00:36:49.530 --> 00:36:52.650 took it on himself to be a dad to a lot of kids 00:36:52.650 --> 00:36:56.949 who just didn't have a dad. And he taught me 00:36:56.949 --> 00:36:59.289 how to drive amongst others, but he taught me 00:36:59.289 --> 00:37:02.849 how to drive. He led a Bible study that was great 00:37:02.849 --> 00:37:06.750 that just really helped me grow, he did a lot 00:37:06.750 --> 00:37:11.929 of things. And I think for all of us, if there's 00:37:11.929 --> 00:37:16.630 opportunities in church to invest in kids who 00:37:16.630 --> 00:37:20.550 have a tough family life, maybe just teaching 00:37:20.550 --> 00:37:22.590 in kids' church could be one way you could do 00:37:22.590 --> 00:37:28.710 that. But finally for parents, I want to encourage 00:37:28.710 --> 00:37:32.070 you today as well and encourage you to think 00:37:32.070 --> 00:37:35.369 about the shape of parenting. We've thought a 00:37:35.369 --> 00:37:37.530 lot of things today, but I want to leave you 00:37:37.530 --> 00:37:40.590 with this. We've got our five M's for church. 00:37:40.829 --> 00:37:45.469 Well, here's my five C's for parenting. It's 00:37:45.469 --> 00:37:49.210 Christ. That's the foundation, isn't it? But 00:37:49.210 --> 00:37:50.710 then there's other things we want to do. We want 00:37:50.710 --> 00:37:53.289 to be, and especially the dads, this is our job. 00:37:53.989 --> 00:37:57.159 We want to have calmness in our home. We want 00:37:57.159 --> 00:37:58.960 to have consequences. We want to go, yeah, there 00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:02.139 are real boundaries and you need to learn. There 00:38:02.139 --> 00:38:05.059 is real discipline here if you don't do the things 00:38:05.059 --> 00:38:07.980 you're meant to do. But we don't want it to just 00:38:07.980 --> 00:38:10.139 be consequences. We want it to be connection. 00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:13.780 You know, kids actually respond so well when 00:38:13.780 --> 00:38:15.840 they feel connected to their parents. And so 00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:18.860 it's key that we build that connection with our 00:38:18.860 --> 00:38:22.239 kids, isn't it? But not just that. It's not just 00:38:22.239 --> 00:38:24.159 that we have one good day a week. We want to 00:38:24.159 --> 00:38:27.320 do that consistently. I want to get better and 00:38:27.320 --> 00:38:29.760 better at doing this more and more and more. 00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:33.539 So I think that's a helpful way to just think 00:38:33.539 --> 00:38:35.940 about the different areas of parenting, going, 00:38:36.179 --> 00:38:38.280 yeah, how am I going with the Christ bit? Am 00:38:38.280 --> 00:38:40.440 I modelling Christ to my kids? Am I teaching 00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:42.960 them about Jesus? How am I going with the calmness? 00:38:43.079 --> 00:38:46.360 Well, I lost my Nana last week. Yeah, OK, that's 00:38:46.360 --> 00:38:48.320 something to work on. Consequences, yeah, we 00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:51.059 need to be a bit firmer with a few things. And 00:38:51.059 --> 00:38:56.570 you just think into each one, don't you? but 00:38:56.570 --> 00:39:00.809 also think your needs too. That's key, isn't 00:39:00.809 --> 00:39:08.050 it? Raising kids is taxing work. And I often 00:39:08.050 --> 00:39:10.750 feel like a failure as a parent, especially when 00:39:10.750 --> 00:39:15.329 I get a snippy comment or change is slow or something 00:39:15.329 --> 00:39:19.050 like that. And carrying guilt ain't helping. 00:39:20.269 --> 00:39:22.570 So what I do is I try and take it to the cross. 00:39:23.599 --> 00:39:28.280 And I try not to give up. I try to see that I 00:39:28.280 --> 00:39:32.320 can make a difference. And most of all, I try 00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:36.619 to keep reparenting and repainting myself. Because 00:39:36.619 --> 00:39:39.460 I think that's the best thing I can do for my 00:39:39.460 --> 00:39:44.699 family. So I hope you'll let the gospel transform 00:39:44.699 --> 00:39:50.659 you as well. Let's pray. Father, we want to thank 00:39:50.659 --> 00:39:54.400 you so much. for all the good things you give 00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:58.119 us. But thank you most of all for your gospel. 00:39:59.099 --> 00:40:01.420 And we ask that you would help us to repaint 00:40:01.420 --> 00:40:05.679 and reparent ourselves. That you would deal with 00:40:05.679 --> 00:40:09.539 our fears, our insecurities, our sinful habits. 00:40:10.739 --> 00:40:13.800 That you would change us to be more like Jesus. 00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:17.940 And that you would help those of us here who 00:40:17.940 --> 00:40:21.400 are parents, especially the dads, to lead their 00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:24.920 families well. And we ask this in Jesus' precious 00:40:24.920 --> 00:40:26.639 name. Amen.