WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.299 Gracious Heavenly Father, we thank you that you 00:00:02.299 --> 00:00:05.240 speak to us in the Bible, and we ask that as 00:00:05.240 --> 00:00:07.879 we look at it now, you would help us to see what 00:00:07.879 --> 00:00:11.380 it means to be a man according to you. And we 00:00:11.380 --> 00:00:16.059 pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. Well, when I 00:00:16.059 --> 00:00:19.660 was three, as I mentioned earlier, my world completely 00:00:19.660 --> 00:00:24.100 changed. My dad ran off with my mum's best friend. 00:00:24.699 --> 00:00:28.199 And from then on, I would only see my dad two 00:00:28.199 --> 00:00:33.679 out of 14 days every two weeks. When I did see 00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:37.200 my dad, he'd do one or two things generally. 00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:39.759 He'd either plonk me in front of a screen, because 00:00:39.759 --> 00:00:43.780 he had work to do, or he'd go out and do heaps 00:00:43.780 --> 00:00:46.960 of fun things with me. You know, we'd go to swan's 00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:50.460 games, we'd go out and play golf, we'd go do 00:00:50.460 --> 00:00:53.119 some cricket at the park, we'd do all sorts of 00:00:53.119 --> 00:00:57.570 stuff. It was about having fun. It wasn't the 00:00:57.570 --> 00:00:59.549 sort of kind of, you know, you need to clean 00:00:59.549 --> 00:01:01.929 your room and let me show you how to drill a 00:01:01.929 --> 00:01:04.510 hole or hammer a thing. It was, let's just go 00:01:04.510 --> 00:01:07.689 out and have a blast. And the rest of my weeks 00:01:07.689 --> 00:01:10.629 would be with my mum or my grandparents or at 00:01:10.629 --> 00:01:15.450 school. So I didn't grow up having much time 00:01:15.450 --> 00:01:18.870 with a father figure. And much of my life, I 00:01:18.870 --> 00:01:20.969 mean, my granddad did what he could do, but even 00:01:20.969 --> 00:01:25.510 then he couldn't do as much as a dad would. And 00:01:25.510 --> 00:01:28.489 it felt like in my life, I've been trying to 00:01:28.489 --> 00:01:32.450 work out from then on, what's it mean to be a 00:01:32.450 --> 00:01:36.689 man? Now, of course, I know biologically what 00:01:36.689 --> 00:01:40.090 it means to be a man. But I mean, what's it mean 00:01:40.090 --> 00:01:42.969 to embody your biology? What's it mean to be 00:01:42.969 --> 00:01:47.329 a masculine man? Do you have to drink beer, play 00:01:47.329 --> 00:01:50.609 footy and watch motor racing? You know, can you 00:01:50.609 --> 00:01:53.950 like reading books and... dressing quite fashionably. 00:01:54.370 --> 00:01:57.609 If you need tips, talk to me later. Do you have 00:01:57.609 --> 00:02:00.950 to be handy around the house and good on a barbecue? 00:02:01.129 --> 00:02:04.950 Is that what makes you a man? What makes somebody 00:02:04.950 --> 00:02:08.729 a man? What's it mean to be a man? Now, without 00:02:08.729 --> 00:02:12.430 a masculine role model, working out the essence 00:02:12.430 --> 00:02:15.330 of masculinity can be quite tricky and confusing. 00:02:16.629 --> 00:02:18.669 And so as a kid, I always felt like I started 00:02:18.669 --> 00:02:21.439 behind the eight ball. and that I've been playing 00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:25.740 catch up ever since. Well, if it was hard for 00:02:25.740 --> 00:02:29.259 me as a kid in the 90s, I think it's even harder 00:02:29.259 --> 00:02:33.039 today for people, don't you reckon? There's many 00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:36.159 more divorces, blended families, FIFO dads, dads 00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:39.979 working long hours, fewer role models of what 00:02:39.979 --> 00:02:43.800 it means to be a man. And I think generally in 00:02:43.800 --> 00:02:46.180 society, there's been an attack on masculinity 00:02:46.180 --> 00:02:50.039 itself. What was once noble and healthy and chivalrous 00:02:50.039 --> 00:02:54.240 is now considered toxic. You say the word masculinity, 00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:58.599 people think, yeah, toxic. And online, there's 00:02:58.599 --> 00:03:02.819 so much unhelpful advice, lots of misogynistic, 00:03:02.819 --> 00:03:07.319 angry men teaching young men, here's what it 00:03:07.319 --> 00:03:11.439 means to be a man. And even with our celebrities. 00:03:11.870 --> 00:03:15.270 There seems to be fewer good men. I'm a big Sydney 00:03:15.270 --> 00:03:18.370 Swans fan. Do you know how rough the last couple 00:03:18.370 --> 00:03:22.250 of weeks have been? Just to hear, I mean, Isaac 00:03:22.250 --> 00:03:24.389 Heaney, he was the poster boy. He was like, he 00:03:24.389 --> 00:03:27.349 was squeaky clean. He seemed like the most lovely 00:03:27.349 --> 00:03:29.949 guy, talented, like a, that's the sort of man 00:03:29.949 --> 00:03:32.650 I'd want my kids to grow up and emulate, except 00:03:32.650 --> 00:03:34.569 a Christian. But like, you know, I'm like, that's 00:03:34.569 --> 00:03:38.229 a pretty good guy. And then you hear about the 00:03:38.229 --> 00:03:40.129 stuff that happened with the Sydney Swans in 00:03:40.129 --> 00:03:43.969 the last couple of weeks and... It's just appalling. 00:03:45.289 --> 00:03:48.909 Where are the role models today a boy could look 00:03:48.909 --> 00:03:52.189 up to and go, that's what it means to be a man? 00:03:54.430 --> 00:03:57.169 I think it's really hard to see what a man is 00:03:57.169 --> 00:03:59.930 today. And that's without the gender fluidity 00:03:59.930 --> 00:04:02.270 and the adrogenisation of people and all these 00:04:02.270 --> 00:04:08.479 other things. It's hard. And I think because 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:10.759 it's hard and because it's not clear, we end 00:04:10.759 --> 00:04:14.340 up with really toxic role models of what it means 00:04:14.340 --> 00:04:18.019 to be a man. Here's the three main ones I see, 00:04:18.100 --> 00:04:22.019 I think, both in the Bible and in society. So 00:04:22.019 --> 00:04:24.480 three kinds of toxic masculinity. You've got 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:27.220 the passive people pleaser. I don't know if you've 00:04:27.220 --> 00:04:29.959 watched the show Ted Lasso, the gridiron coach 00:04:29.959 --> 00:04:32.060 who comes and coaches a premier league soccer 00:04:32.060 --> 00:04:36.160 club. He's just this really nice guy, very passive, 00:04:36.759 --> 00:04:40.600 very kind, but doesn't know how to really assert 00:04:40.600 --> 00:04:43.959 himself at times and things like that. I mean, 00:04:44.040 --> 00:04:45.600 the other one I think of when I think passive 00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:48.740 people pleaser is Richard Bucket. Did you ever 00:04:48.740 --> 00:04:51.480 see Keeping Up With Appearances? It's that kind 00:04:51.480 --> 00:04:54.439 of person. Then you've got Andrew Tate. If you 00:04:54.439 --> 00:04:58.480 don't know who Andrew Tate is, anyone who's got 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:00.500 kids, your kids will know who Andrew Tate is. 00:05:00.670 --> 00:05:03.970 He's this misogynistic, tough guy. I think he 00:05:03.970 --> 00:05:08.509 was in MMA and all these other things. He's not 00:05:08.509 --> 00:05:11.509 a good dude, he's a violent guy. Kind of think 00:05:11.509 --> 00:05:14.730 like James Bond, but the Sean Connery James Bond, 00:05:14.810 --> 00:05:18.250 the more violent kind of one. Life is living 00:05:18.250 --> 00:05:21.490 large and it's all about you and you do whatever 00:05:21.490 --> 00:05:24.750 you can and you will take whatever you take to 00:05:24.750 --> 00:05:26.910 get it. And then the other one which I think 00:05:26.910 --> 00:05:29.170 you just see in every American sitcom today. 00:05:29.370 --> 00:05:33.610 is Homer Simpson, the stupid sluggard. He just 00:05:33.610 --> 00:05:36.250 sits on the couch, he's trying to escape work, 00:05:36.290 --> 00:05:38.910 he's trying to escape the pressures of life, 00:05:39.129 --> 00:05:41.850 and he just wants to sit back and take it easy 00:05:41.850 --> 00:05:46.009 and enjoy it. I think these are the role models 00:05:46.009 --> 00:05:50.089 of masculinity that we see today, don't we? And 00:05:50.089 --> 00:05:53.629 none of them are good. They take a bit of a good 00:05:53.629 --> 00:05:57.329 thing and they twist it, don't they? So what's 00:05:57.329 --> 00:06:01.730 it mean to be a man? Well, I also want to suggest 00:06:01.730 --> 00:06:03.829 to you the answer is not to go, oh these are 00:06:03.829 --> 00:06:06.730 the bad ones Let's just wind back the clock, 00:06:06.769 --> 00:06:09.050 you know, if we could go back a few generations 00:06:09.050 --> 00:06:12.250 back to the 50s back I don't know when then we'll 00:06:12.250 --> 00:06:17.050 know what to be a man is I'd want to say there 00:06:17.050 --> 00:06:19.310 are some good things from those times where we 00:06:19.310 --> 00:06:22.370 can see what it means to be a man But some of 00:06:22.370 --> 00:06:24.889 the movements in modern society like feminism 00:06:24.889 --> 00:06:28.410 We're trying to address real problems in the 00:06:28.410 --> 00:06:32.449 past I think things like feminism have brought 00:06:32.449 --> 00:06:35.189 some really helpful things, some good correctives, 00:06:35.769 --> 00:06:38.509 but some really unhelpful things and it's gone 00:06:38.509 --> 00:06:42.290 too far in other ways. So we can't just look 00:06:42.290 --> 00:06:44.069 back and go, well, that's what it means to be 00:06:44.069 --> 00:06:47.069 a man. It's easy to have nostalgia for a simpler 00:06:47.069 --> 00:06:50.930 time and not properly critique it. I think a 00:06:50.930 --> 00:06:53.790 more helpful approach is to go back to the Bible 00:06:53.790 --> 00:06:58.540 and see what did God intend men to be. That's 00:06:58.540 --> 00:07:01.899 what we need to do. And so if we go back to creation, 00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:06.079 we see three things that men are meant to be. 00:07:06.740 --> 00:07:09.000 Here are the three things. God made men to be 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:14.600 pioneers, to be leaders, God made men to be protectors, 00:07:14.620 --> 00:07:18.800 and God made men to be providers. God made men 00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:22.399 to be pioneers, to be leaders, to be protectors, 00:07:22.399 --> 00:07:26.360 and to be providers. So let's have a look at 00:07:26.360 --> 00:07:30.470 each of these. Firstly, God made men to be pioneers. 00:07:31.490 --> 00:07:34.689 I mean, men need a mission. We need a purpose 00:07:34.689 --> 00:07:38.250 and an aim in life. We're wired to lead toward 00:07:38.250 --> 00:07:42.610 a thing, aren't we? And God gave Adam a task 00:07:42.610 --> 00:07:46.009 and a mission. You can see this in Genesis 1 00:07:46.009 --> 00:07:49.610 and 2. So do you remember God blessed them and 00:07:49.610 --> 00:07:52.990 said to them, be fruitful and increase in number, 00:07:53.370 --> 00:07:56.779 fill the earth and subdue it. And in Genesis 00:07:56.779 --> 00:08:00.060 2 we see that Eve is Adam's helper. She's there 00:08:00.060 --> 00:08:03.000 to support him and help him in this mission. 00:08:03.779 --> 00:08:07.040 His mission is to create life, fill the earth, 00:08:07.339 --> 00:08:10.899 and to subdue the chaos within the earth. And 00:08:10.899 --> 00:08:14.339 you can see this in Genesis 1 and 2 quite clearly. 00:08:15.060 --> 00:08:18.720 I think when we conceive the earth back in Genesis, 00:08:19.139 --> 00:08:24.350 I think what we're meant to see... is I think 00:08:24.350 --> 00:08:27.170 it was a bit like this. I think the earth, you 00:08:27.170 --> 00:08:30.149 had Eden, and I think, it wasn't all ocean by 00:08:30.149 --> 00:08:32.429 the way, that's not what I'm trying to say, it's 00:08:32.429 --> 00:08:34.750 that you had Eden, and Adam and Eve's job was 00:08:34.750 --> 00:08:38.889 to Edenise the earth. So to bring God's rule 00:08:38.889 --> 00:08:42.649 and presence throughout the earth. That's what 00:08:42.649 --> 00:08:46.450 they were meant to do. But at the fall, this 00:08:46.450 --> 00:08:50.129 gets reversed. Because what happens at the fall? 00:08:51.899 --> 00:08:56.279 Eve is calling the shots. She also gave some 00:08:56.279 --> 00:08:59.019 fruit to her husband who was with her, and he 00:08:59.019 --> 00:09:03.340 ate it. Yeah, Adam's not leading, Eve's leading. 00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:07.600 And this is not how God set things up. So here's 00:09:07.600 --> 00:09:10.080 how God set things up. It's a hierarchy of authority, 00:09:10.159 --> 00:09:13.240 not of value. You know, everyone's equal, but 00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:15.559 there's a sense in which there is authority, 00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:19.039 and the authority is that God is the authority 00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:22.299 overall, and then man... is the authority over 00:09:22.299 --> 00:09:24.559 the woman, and then together they are the authority 00:09:24.559 --> 00:09:27.639 over the animals. But what happens in Genesis 00:09:27.639 --> 00:09:32.360 3 is this gets flipped. So the animals, the serpent, 00:09:32.740 --> 00:09:35.120 tells the woman what to do. And what's the woman 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:37.279 do? She tells the man what to do. Hey Adam, have 00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:40.899 some fruit, you know. And God's not even in the 00:09:40.899 --> 00:09:46.100 picture. There's a reversal of the order. The 00:09:46.100 --> 00:09:49.620 man isn't leading, he isn't doing his mission 00:09:49.620 --> 00:09:53.840 that he's meant to be doing. Years ago I played 00:09:53.840 --> 00:09:57.000 Aussie rules and for a while I played in defence. 00:09:58.320 --> 00:10:00.139 And I learnt pretty quickly there are certain 00:10:00.139 --> 00:10:03.179 situations where you get the ball and what's 00:10:03.179 --> 00:10:05.820 your job? Your job, your mission in that moment 00:10:05.820 --> 00:10:09.419 is to absorb the tackle. You know, you don't 00:10:09.419 --> 00:10:12.419 always have to get it out and give it off to 00:10:12.419 --> 00:10:13.919 someone else. Sometimes that's the worst thing 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:16.620 you can do. Sometimes you just need to absorb 00:10:16.620 --> 00:10:19.179 the pressure, take the tackle, and you get a 00:10:19.179 --> 00:10:21.700 ball up and your team gets time to set up all 00:10:21.700 --> 00:10:25.120 over again. But I tell you what, when everyone's 00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:28.960 bearing down on you, it's tempting to handball 00:10:28.960 --> 00:10:31.940 the ball out, isn't it? To go, yeah, I'm gonna 00:10:31.940 --> 00:10:33.580 get it out, and then they're all gonna back off 00:10:33.580 --> 00:10:37.100 and go and deal with someone else. You make it 00:10:37.100 --> 00:10:40.720 someone else's problem. You avoid the pressure 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:46.379 and the hits. But that's the wrong call. And 00:10:46.379 --> 00:10:49.960 yet today, I think many men have been conditioned, 00:10:50.840 --> 00:10:52.620 and I'm including myself in this, it's something 00:10:52.620 --> 00:10:57.100 I'm working on, is to handball our responsibility 00:10:57.100 --> 00:11:01.860 and our leadership to someone else. You know, 00:11:02.259 --> 00:11:06.769 it's easy and tempting to handball to others 00:11:06.769 --> 00:11:11.750 what we should carry. It could be handballing 00:11:11.750 --> 00:11:16.289 Christian formation of our kids. Like, yeah, 00:11:16.289 --> 00:11:18.149 I'm all for Christian schools. I think they're 00:11:18.149 --> 00:11:20.610 great. I'm all for our kids church. Dan does 00:11:20.610 --> 00:11:24.509 a tremendous job. I love my wife. She does an 00:11:24.509 --> 00:11:29.509 awesome job helping our kids know Jesus. But 00:11:29.509 --> 00:11:32.889 I can't handball that job to someone else. It's 00:11:32.889 --> 00:11:37.350 my responsibility that my kids Get to know Jesus 00:11:37.350 --> 00:11:42.289 as they grow up. Life at home. You know, it's 00:11:42.289 --> 00:11:44.210 easy for me to go, yes, sweetheart, whatever 00:11:44.210 --> 00:11:47.970 you want. No, no, no. I need to be the one who 00:11:47.970 --> 00:11:51.070 sets the direction, the vision, who has the initiative. 00:11:53.190 --> 00:11:55.409 Sometimes for men it's not leading well with 00:11:55.409 --> 00:11:59.370 their elderly parents. They put their aging parents 00:11:59.370 --> 00:12:02.309 in a home and never visit, never call. They don't 00:12:02.309 --> 00:12:04.649 really honor them or value them as they should. 00:12:06.240 --> 00:12:08.980 Sometimes it's men, young men who struggle with 00:12:08.980 --> 00:12:12.720 adulting. I think of a friend of mine, dear friend, 00:12:13.139 --> 00:12:18.460 but his life's not in a good way. He got married 00:12:18.460 --> 00:12:21.419 and ever since he got married, his wife's mum 00:12:21.419 --> 00:12:25.799 cooked dinner for them each night. Every night. 00:12:25.899 --> 00:12:27.700 I think she might have done some of their laundry 00:12:27.700 --> 00:12:31.340 too. It wasn't a good dynamic. It wasn't adulting. 00:12:31.399 --> 00:12:34.519 It wasn't stepping up as a man. Now, don't get 00:12:34.519 --> 00:12:36.559 me wrong, there's a place for delegation, there's 00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:38.779 a place for listening. That's actually good leadership, 00:12:38.820 --> 00:12:43.080 isn't it? But at the heart of leadership is making 00:12:43.080 --> 00:12:47.159 decisions, taking responsibility, managing and 00:12:47.159 --> 00:12:52.259 investing into what matters. See, being a man 00:12:52.259 --> 00:12:55.399 is about leading yourself and leading others 00:12:55.399 --> 00:12:59.399 well. And I think we all need to ask ourselves, 00:12:59.480 --> 00:13:02.860 how are we going with that? One way to check 00:13:02.860 --> 00:13:07.669 is... to graph our responsibilities. So to think, 00:13:07.730 --> 00:13:10.669 okay, I've got myself, my family, my church, 00:13:10.789 --> 00:13:15.850 my work. How am I going in leading these things, 00:13:16.070 --> 00:13:19.490 in being a positive influence, taking initiative 00:13:19.490 --> 00:13:24.230 in these things? Now, this is just how I do it 00:13:24.230 --> 00:13:25.970 in my life. You don't have to do it like me. 00:13:25.970 --> 00:13:28.690 You might break it up into a whole range of other 00:13:28.690 --> 00:13:31.840 ways. That's fine. But... I think it's helpful 00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:35.000 to analyze it, break it up, thinking, okay, where 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:37.519 am I weak? Where am I strong? Am I putting two 00:13:37.519 --> 00:13:40.059 eggs, many eggs in the work basket at the moment, 00:13:40.059 --> 00:13:43.259 not enough in the family basket? Which thing 00:13:43.259 --> 00:13:46.120 is getting too much of me at the moment? Where 00:13:46.120 --> 00:13:49.879 are the areas I need to develop and grow? List 00:13:49.879 --> 00:13:52.960 the problems. What's going on in my life? Where 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:56.059 am I sinful and struggling? What about in my 00:13:56.059 --> 00:13:57.840 family? What are the dynamics happening there 00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:00.080 that aren't good, that need to be addressed? 00:14:01.190 --> 00:14:05.090 And then make a plan. Write it down. Just do 00:14:05.090 --> 00:14:07.350 it on your notes app or write it on a piece of 00:14:07.350 --> 00:14:11.309 paper. But I think this is what us as men need 00:14:11.309 --> 00:14:13.529 to do is we don't be passive, do we? Like Adam 00:14:13.529 --> 00:14:20.129 was. We take the initiative and we lead. But 00:14:20.129 --> 00:14:23.830 that's not all men were made to do. God made 00:14:23.830 --> 00:14:29.370 men to also be protectors. To be protectors. 00:14:30.970 --> 00:14:36.490 Eve and Eden, they were Adam's job. It was Adam's 00:14:36.490 --> 00:14:38.809 job to protect them. Have a look at what it says 00:14:38.809 --> 00:14:43.350 in Genesis 2 .15. Sorry, it's a bit small, but 00:14:43.350 --> 00:14:46.029 I hope the payoff is worth it by having it in 00:14:46.029 --> 00:14:49.470 table form. Anyway, the Lord God took the man 00:14:49.470 --> 00:14:51.929 and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it 00:14:51.929 --> 00:14:56.570 and take care of, literally, guard us. The Hebrew 00:14:56.570 --> 00:15:00.519 word is shamar, to guard or protect. It's used 00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:04.659 of priests at the temple. And so when Satan the 00:15:04.659 --> 00:15:07.340 serpent started talking to Eve, what was Adam's 00:15:07.340 --> 00:15:11.340 job? He was meant to clock. This guy's a threat. 00:15:13.220 --> 00:15:15.080 What's he doing here? What's he saying? Why is 00:15:15.080 --> 00:15:17.919 he saying that about God? He should have dealt 00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:19.559 with him. He should have stepped in and said, 00:15:19.659 --> 00:15:23.019 no, Eve, stop listening to this guy. But instead, 00:15:23.019 --> 00:15:27.059 he just sat there and did nothing. And sadly, 00:15:27.139 --> 00:15:30.639 Eve wasn't much better. She engaged with the 00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:34.600 serpent. She took charge, rather than letting 00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:37.379 Adam step up, and it went horribly wrong. And 00:15:37.379 --> 00:15:39.799 the consequence with that was that it started 00:15:39.799 --> 00:15:43.080 the battle of the sexes. Here's what we see in 00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:52.779 Genesis 3 .16. This verse actually parallels 00:15:52.779 --> 00:15:57.519 another verse in Genesis 4 .7, where Sin desires 00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:00.659 to have Cain and God says he needs to rule over 00:16:00.659 --> 00:16:04.080 it. And the desire here is not that, you know, 00:16:04.200 --> 00:16:06.220 Eve's going to look at Adam and go, oh, he's 00:16:06.220 --> 00:16:08.659 such a hottie. Like, it's not that kind of desire. 00:16:09.620 --> 00:16:13.740 It's the desire to rule over him. He will rule 00:16:13.740 --> 00:16:16.240 over her. This is what happens in a broken world. 00:16:16.519 --> 00:16:19.419 He will use his power and his strength to dominate 00:16:19.419 --> 00:16:22.240 and oppress, but she'll want to be in charge. 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:28.120 Growing up, my dad sat down with me and we watched 00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:30.279 a lot of Indiana Jones. I don't know if you're 00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:32.759 a big Indiana Jones fan. I love those movies. 00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:36.279 The old ones are better. The new ones don't even 00:16:36.279 --> 00:16:40.460 count. But I remember that great scene in The 00:16:40.460 --> 00:16:42.320 Last Crusade. Do you remember when he's getting 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:45.379 chased around by the tanks and he's on the horseback 00:16:45.379 --> 00:16:48.240 and he's out in the desert and he picks up a 00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:50.399 rock and he puts it in one of the tank guns? 00:16:51.340 --> 00:16:53.679 And you've got this powerful gun, you know, in 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:55.899 the tank that's designed to protect the tank 00:16:55.899 --> 00:16:59.600 from enemies and shoot out at others. And they're 00:16:59.600 --> 00:17:02.500 trying to shoot Indy and it backfires and it 00:17:02.500 --> 00:17:05.160 injures those inside the tank and harms them. 00:17:07.380 --> 00:17:11.220 Now, I think what Genesis is saying is that a 00:17:11.220 --> 00:17:14.859 man's strength and a man's brawn is like that 00:17:14.859 --> 00:17:19.109 tank gun, especially for women. Because when 00:17:19.109 --> 00:17:21.410 it's pointed out at others and doing its job 00:17:21.410 --> 00:17:24.029 properly, it makes them feel safe and protected. 00:17:25.069 --> 00:17:27.009 You know, it's the man in the middle of the night 00:17:27.009 --> 00:17:29.109 who should be getting up with the golf club to 00:17:29.109 --> 00:17:30.809 ward off any people trying to break in, isn't 00:17:30.809 --> 00:17:36.230 it? But when there's a rock put in it and it 00:17:36.230 --> 00:17:40.490 backfires into the family, that's when it's dangerous, 00:17:40.529 --> 00:17:47.099 isn't it? That's when people feel unsafe. I think 00:17:47.099 --> 00:17:49.299 men should build their strength. I think men 00:17:49.299 --> 00:17:52.420 should learn how to fight. Because our world 00:17:52.420 --> 00:17:55.539 is full of enemies and threats, both physical 00:17:55.539 --> 00:18:00.839 and spiritual. Yet learning to master our strength, 00:18:01.180 --> 00:18:05.759 to master our power, to master ourselves, that's 00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:10.140 crucial. I mean, domestic violence is a huge 00:18:10.140 --> 00:18:13.619 problem in Australia, especially among men. Andrew 00:18:13.619 --> 00:18:17.690 Tate and his sort of misogyny. Even men just 00:18:17.690 --> 00:18:20.589 lashing out with their words can be just so bad 00:18:20.589 --> 00:18:26.069 and can make women feel emotionally unsafe. Men 00:18:26.069 --> 00:18:30.690 need to build strength with self -restraint. 00:18:31.589 --> 00:18:34.109 And sadly, there's many men out there who feel 00:18:34.109 --> 00:18:37.049 emasculated in our world, and they're the ones 00:18:37.049 --> 00:18:40.470 who tend to embrace this kind of toxic masculinity 00:18:40.470 --> 00:18:43.910 that's built on a half -truth of be strong without 00:18:43.910 --> 00:18:46.559 self -restraint. And those sort of men need to 00:18:46.559 --> 00:18:51.940 repent. But healthy masculinity says build strength 00:18:51.940 --> 00:18:54.960 and learn to control it and use it for good. 00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:57.759 Here's how Proverbs puts it. I think it's brilliant. 00:18:58.819 --> 00:19:01.559 Proverbs has these two really helpful Proverbs 00:19:01.559 --> 00:19:05.259 for men. A wise man is full of strength and a 00:19:05.259 --> 00:19:08.700 man of knowledge enhances his might. And in a 00:19:08.700 --> 00:19:11.680 whole range of ways, wisdom, good counsel, but 00:19:11.680 --> 00:19:15.950 I think strength as well, brawn. But whoever's 00:19:15.950 --> 00:19:18.890 slow to anger is better than the mighty and he 00:19:18.890 --> 00:19:22.369 who rules his spirit then he who takes a city 00:19:22.369 --> 00:19:27.910 We need to have both don't we? strength and self 00:19:27.910 --> 00:19:32.670 -control It's better than the mighty I think 00:19:32.670 --> 00:19:36.230 that's an amazing thing isn't it You if you're 00:19:36.230 --> 00:19:39.210 slow to anger if you rule your spirit you're 00:19:39.210 --> 00:19:42.559 better than you know Genghis Khan You're better 00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:45.839 than anyone who is a conqueror. That's actually 00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:48.700 to conquer yourself is the hardest thing to conquer. 00:19:50.859 --> 00:19:53.940 So how are you going with this? Both strength 00:19:53.940 --> 00:19:59.279 and self -control. Maybe everyone at home is 00:19:59.279 --> 00:20:05.660 walking around on eggshells because of you. Maybe 00:20:05.660 --> 00:20:08.359 you're perpetually grumpy and shouty. I know 00:20:08.359 --> 00:20:11.079 there are times where I am. And when I am, I 00:20:11.079 --> 00:20:14.200 notice that. I try to notice that and go, okay, 00:20:14.299 --> 00:20:16.460 something needs to change. I need to change. 00:20:16.900 --> 00:20:19.319 What can I do? Do I need to have a rest? Do I 00:20:19.319 --> 00:20:23.680 need to go have some fun? Do I need to just change 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:32.920 my mindset? But I can't let that happen. Maybe... 00:20:32.910 --> 00:20:35.490 You're not growing in strength, maybe your family's 00:20:35.490 --> 00:20:37.890 lost respect for you because you let yourself 00:20:37.890 --> 00:20:40.890 get weaker and weaker. I'm saying, you know, 00:20:41.069 --> 00:20:43.009 health and all of that, that's a hard thing. 00:20:43.269 --> 00:20:45.549 But we've got to take responsibility for what 00:20:45.549 --> 00:20:48.190 we can fix, what we can deal with. I remember 00:20:48.190 --> 00:20:51.009 for years I had anxiety issues that I didn't 00:20:51.009 --> 00:20:55.490 try and deal with or manage. And I think it made 00:20:55.490 --> 00:21:00.250 my wife lose a lot of respect for me. So physically, 00:21:00.710 --> 00:21:04.970 spiritually... We need to work on protecting 00:21:04.970 --> 00:21:07.609 our families, protecting ourselves, so that we 00:21:07.609 --> 00:21:12.869 don't backfire into them. I think part of the 00:21:12.869 --> 00:21:15.890 problem is we often get so busy doing, there's 00:21:15.890 --> 00:21:19.109 always another thing to do today, that we don't 00:21:19.109 --> 00:21:24.990 spend time working on ourselves, do we? It boils 00:21:24.990 --> 00:21:27.670 down to this. What threatens you and your family? 00:21:28.920 --> 00:21:31.259 Are you ready for those threats? There's all 00:21:31.259 --> 00:21:35.599 sorts of things out there. But make sure you're 00:21:35.599 --> 00:21:38.799 not one of them. Make sure you're protecting 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:41.880 them, not that they need protecting from you. 00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:46.740 So as men we pioneer, we protect, but there's 00:21:46.740 --> 00:21:51.220 one other thing we do. God made men to be providers. 00:21:51.799 --> 00:21:55.660 God made men to be providers. Have a look at 00:21:55.660 --> 00:21:58.849 this one. This is again Genesis 2 .15. The Lord 00:21:58.849 --> 00:22:00.930 God took the man and put him in the Garden of 00:22:00.930 --> 00:22:04.369 Eden to work it, to cultivate it and take care 00:22:04.369 --> 00:22:08.930 of it. This is the Hebrew word abad. Again, used 00:22:08.930 --> 00:22:12.349 to the priest in the temple. And it means to 00:22:12.349 --> 00:22:15.789 cultivate, serve or labour. And I don't know 00:22:15.789 --> 00:22:19.089 if you've noticed it, but as you look at the 00:22:19.089 --> 00:22:21.769 story in the Garden of Eden, I think the idea 00:22:21.769 --> 00:22:23.930 that keeps coming across is that Eden itself 00:22:23.930 --> 00:22:27.839 is like a temple. Is that God's... Presence is 00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:30.220 there. And Adam and Eve are meant to be like 00:22:30.220 --> 00:22:32.940 the priests of the temple. It's a place of bliss. 00:22:33.319 --> 00:22:35.920 And because it was a place of bliss, work was 00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:39.000 good. God would provide what was needed through 00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:44.500 Adam's work in the garden. But all that changed 00:22:44.500 --> 00:22:47.099 at the fall. Because here's what happens to work. 00:22:47.380 --> 00:22:49.740 Here's the punishment now in a fallen world. 00:22:51.140 --> 00:22:54.480 Curse is the ground because of you. Through painful 00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:58.079 toil, you will eat food from it all the days 00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:04.200 of your life. Work is no longer work. Work is 00:23:04.200 --> 00:23:09.720 toil. Work is frustrating. The means of providing 00:23:09.720 --> 00:23:12.900 for ourselves and others is now burdensome and 00:23:12.900 --> 00:23:17.240 brutal. What are we fighting? We're fighting 00:23:17.240 --> 00:23:21.180 thorns and thistles. To work means sweat and 00:23:21.180 --> 00:23:26.619 grit. We're battling scarcity. And the soil that 00:23:26.619 --> 00:23:31.160 we labor upon to provide for ourselves will one 00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:35.119 day swallow us up, won't it? That's the great 00:23:35.119 --> 00:23:41.000 irony in Genesis. The way in which we seek provision 00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:45.819 will actually kill us one day. Providing is brutal 00:23:45.819 --> 00:23:51.180 now. And so because of this, we just want to 00:23:51.180 --> 00:23:55.490 escape it. A while ago, I read about a strange 00:23:55.490 --> 00:24:00.730 phenomenon in Japan, the hikikomori. They're 00:24:00.730 --> 00:24:04.470 shut -ins, recluses, usually men who've withdrawn 00:24:04.470 --> 00:24:08.450 from society. Many of them spend their lives 00:24:08.450 --> 00:24:12.250 online, tending to do pretty seedy stuff online. 00:24:12.769 --> 00:24:17.369 But in Japan, there's approximately 1 .5 million 00:24:17.369 --> 00:24:22.839 of them. Shut -ins. Men, mainly shut -ins. And 00:24:22.839 --> 00:24:24.880 one of the big causes that these men have shut 00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:28.480 themselves away from society is because of work 00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:33.119 demands and pressure. Work was too hard, the 00:24:33.119 --> 00:24:35.799 expectations were too high, it was all too much. 00:24:36.240 --> 00:24:38.359 Now this is an extreme example but it proves 00:24:38.359 --> 00:24:41.920 my point I think. Providing in a sinful broken 00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:44.559 world is frustrating, exhausting and crushing. 00:24:45.519 --> 00:24:48.160 And for a lot of men it feels like too much. 00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:52.720 Now, you can shut yourself away like the Hikikomori 00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:55.940 did, but what I think many men in our culture 00:24:55.940 --> 00:24:58.059 tend to do is they get overwhelmed and they try 00:24:58.059 --> 00:25:02.299 to endlessly escape the difficulty of providing. 00:25:04.119 --> 00:25:06.799 And often the way we can escape can be toxic. 00:25:08.200 --> 00:25:10.359 I mean, I think back to that Sydney Swans incident. 00:25:11.539 --> 00:25:15.099 Why were they doing what they were doing? I reckon 00:25:15.099 --> 00:25:18.099 there was a pressure. that was on them. They've 00:25:18.099 --> 00:25:21.099 been working and it was like, yes, here's a chance 00:25:21.099 --> 00:25:23.299 to let my hair down, here's a chance to just 00:25:23.299 --> 00:25:26.579 have a bit of fun, but they took it way, way, 00:25:26.579 --> 00:25:33.160 way too far. And many men do that, even men in 00:25:33.160 --> 00:25:36.359 churches. They drink too much, they watch porn, 00:25:36.440 --> 00:25:39.460 they have affairs, there's... endless gaming 00:25:39.460 --> 00:25:42.480 or gambling they overeat there's all sorts of 00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:45.299 ways in which in this world that's so hard we're 00:25:45.299 --> 00:25:51.519 trying to cope but healthy masculinity finds 00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:57.299 internal resources to cope from the spirit from 00:25:57.299 --> 00:26:05.019 Jesus and the way he's loved us actually we still 00:26:05.019 --> 00:26:08.250 use God's good gifts don't we? We still enjoy 00:26:08.250 --> 00:26:10.750 things. I'm not saying, you know, never have 00:26:10.750 --> 00:26:14.410 a beer or anything like that, but we use God's 00:26:14.410 --> 00:26:18.250 good gifts in submission to Jesus' Lordship. 00:26:19.869 --> 00:26:24.410 And that gives us the strength to carry on. And 00:26:24.410 --> 00:26:26.690 we have the great hope that Jesus gives that 00:26:26.690 --> 00:26:30.369 one day we will be in glory where we can have 00:26:30.369 --> 00:26:38.690 true rest. So how are you going with this? Where 00:26:38.690 --> 00:26:41.549 do you turn when you're feeling stressed and 00:26:41.549 --> 00:26:46.470 tired? Is your approach, the way you try and 00:26:46.470 --> 00:26:52.049 handle it, healthy or toxic? If it's toxic, what 00:26:52.049 --> 00:26:57.210 are you going to do about it? All right, let's 00:26:57.210 --> 00:27:00.049 wrap up. We've seen what healthy masculinity 00:27:00.049 --> 00:27:03.490 should be. Three aspects to preform masculinity. 00:27:03.670 --> 00:27:07.150 We're meant to be pioneers, protectors and providers. 00:27:08.269 --> 00:27:11.789 But we've also seen how after the fall, how masculinity 00:27:11.789 --> 00:27:15.950 can become toxic. We can become passive people 00:27:15.950 --> 00:27:20.089 pleasers, who don't lead but we lie and we manipulate 00:27:20.089 --> 00:27:24.549 and we... We don't take the initiative, we sit 00:27:24.549 --> 00:27:28.829 back. We can have the misogynistic tough guy, 00:27:28.970 --> 00:27:31.150 the Andrew Tates of the world, who are violently 00:27:31.150 --> 00:27:36.430 taking for themselves. And then there's the stupid 00:27:36.430 --> 00:27:39.210 slogans, the Homer Simpsons, who just want to 00:27:39.210 --> 00:27:42.529 escape the hardness and the pressure of life. 00:27:45.690 --> 00:27:49.609 And sadly, men act in these ways today, just 00:27:49.609 --> 00:27:52.890 as they do in the Bible. I mean, do you remember 00:27:52.890 --> 00:27:56.549 in Genesis 3, God promises that there will be 00:27:56.549 --> 00:27:59.569 a serpent crusher, one who will destroy the work 00:27:59.569 --> 00:28:03.019 of the serpent? And so what we're meant to do 00:28:03.019 --> 00:28:05.359 as we read the rest of the Bible is we're meant 00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:09.740 to go, where is that man? Like the whole Old 00:28:09.740 --> 00:28:11.480 Testament, we're meant to be asking that question, 00:28:11.539 --> 00:28:14.779 where's this serpent crusher? But you know what 00:28:14.779 --> 00:28:17.019 we find as we go through the Old Testament is 00:28:17.019 --> 00:28:21.359 that it just gets worse and worse. And so often 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:26.019 men just act so poorly in toxic ways. I mean, 00:28:26.019 --> 00:28:28.259 think of chapter four in Genesis, right after 00:28:28.259 --> 00:28:33.380 all this. You know, Cain. kills Abel. And then 00:28:33.380 --> 00:28:37.240 you get Lamech, who takes two wives. And he says, 00:28:37.319 --> 00:28:40.339 hey, you know, if anyone challenges me, you know, 00:28:40.420 --> 00:28:42.680 Cain's Revenge is seven, I'm going to do it 77. 00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:46.039 You know, he's like basically the prototype for 00:28:46.039 --> 00:28:49.039 Andrew Tate. And then the whole world in chapter 00:28:49.039 --> 00:28:53.119 six is violent. God, God regrets making the world. 00:28:54.119 --> 00:28:56.180 In the end of chapter five, though, you know, 00:28:56.200 --> 00:28:58.700 we see Noah and you think, oh, well, there's 00:28:58.700 --> 00:29:01.920 a guy. He's pretty good. His father even says 00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:04.839 of him, out of the ground that the Lord has cursed, 00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:07.220 this one shall bring us relief from our work 00:29:07.220 --> 00:29:11.680 and from the painful toil of our hands. Noah 00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:15.460 does well for so long. He's like Adam 2 .0. He 00:29:15.460 --> 00:29:17.759 gets the commission from God to fill the earth 00:29:17.759 --> 00:29:20.119 and subdue it. He seems to be doing a good job 00:29:20.119 --> 00:29:22.759 because he's been so obedient and brought his 00:29:22.759 --> 00:29:25.400 family through the ark and, you know, is the 00:29:25.400 --> 00:29:28.500 salvation of the world, really, because they've... 00:29:28.490 --> 00:29:31.029 the world and humanity has been saved through 00:29:31.029 --> 00:29:37.710 this man and yet Noah has a toxic moment. He 00:29:37.710 --> 00:29:40.849 becomes a man of the soil and gets drunk and 00:29:40.849 --> 00:29:44.930 naked and it causes huge problems. Now I get 00:29:44.930 --> 00:29:47.369 it Noah's seen the flood he's probably got PTSD 00:29:47.369 --> 00:29:50.490 uh you know he wants he's got this work this 00:29:50.490 --> 00:29:54.250 job to bring relief like his father had said 00:29:54.250 --> 00:29:56.769 to the world but it's too much for him and so 00:29:56.769 --> 00:30:00.890 he does what's shameful. And then we read on 00:30:00.890 --> 00:30:03.549 and we meet more men like this. We have Aaron 00:30:03.549 --> 00:30:06.109 and Saul who people please in awful ways. We've 00:30:06.109 --> 00:30:08.690 got David who, you know, you think, David's a 00:30:08.690 --> 00:30:11.410 good guy? I mean, what an awesome guy David is. 00:30:11.410 --> 00:30:13.390 There's the sort of man I want to be. I want 00:30:13.390 --> 00:30:17.089 to be like David. But what happens? He does a 00:30:17.089 --> 00:30:20.789 Homer Simpson. He stays home on the couch when 00:30:20.789 --> 00:30:23.730 kings were meant to go to war. He then sleeps 00:30:23.730 --> 00:30:26.630 with Bathsheba and murders Uriah. He becomes 00:30:26.630 --> 00:30:31.119 like Andrew Tate. And he does that by lies. He's 00:30:31.119 --> 00:30:32.980 a passive people pleaser. He says all the right 00:30:32.980 --> 00:30:36.160 things to Uriah and the High Command to get his 00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:39.980 way. David is so good and yet he's toxic in all 00:30:39.980 --> 00:30:44.640 these three ways by the end of it. See, no man 00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:50.299 in history embodies masculinity perfectly. Sadly, 00:30:50.440 --> 00:30:56.130 the best of men are men at best. That is until 00:30:56.130 --> 00:31:00.710 a Jewish boy is born in Bethlehem. And this boy 00:31:00.710 --> 00:31:04.829 grew up to be a man unlike any other. He was 00:31:04.829 --> 00:31:08.450 a pioneer with radical ideas and truths that 00:31:08.450 --> 00:31:10.990 were so good and so wonderful that it ruffled 00:31:10.990 --> 00:31:12.849 the feathers of the religious establishment. 00:31:14.630 --> 00:31:17.170 He was a protector of the weak and the vulnerable. 00:31:18.369 --> 00:31:21.210 He didn't exploit with his power, he used it 00:31:21.210 --> 00:31:26.960 to serve others. and to do good to them, to protect 00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:29.839 those who were getting taken down by the religious 00:31:29.839 --> 00:31:33.779 establishment. And he was a provider to those 00:31:33.779 --> 00:31:37.940 who were in need. He wasn't overwhelmed by helping. 00:31:38.339 --> 00:31:41.539 He stayed faithful and godly his entire life. 00:31:42.940 --> 00:31:47.940 And we see it most clearly at the cross. Because 00:31:47.940 --> 00:31:51.420 at the cross Jesus led in such a way that it 00:31:51.420 --> 00:31:57.029 cost him but he led, he was a pioneer and he 00:31:57.029 --> 00:32:02.109 used his power to serve us at the cross and he 00:32:02.109 --> 00:32:07.650 used his great obedience to protect us from sin 00:32:07.650 --> 00:32:12.329 and death by ranting himself, sacrificing himself 00:32:12.329 --> 00:32:16.430 in our place. He provided for us the salvation 00:32:16.430 --> 00:32:22.210 we could never get on our own. I want to say 00:32:22.519 --> 00:32:26.680 Men today do need role models. Role models are 00:32:26.680 --> 00:32:30.660 important, but we need something far greater. 00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:37.759 We need a saviour, don't we? A rescuer. One to 00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:41.220 save us from the fall, from our failures, to 00:32:41.220 --> 00:32:45.940 redeem masculinity. And that's what Jesus does 00:32:45.940 --> 00:32:51.059 for us. When His grace is received and when... 00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:54.420 a man becomes thankful for it, it changes them. 00:32:54.920 --> 00:32:57.839 And they do become a role model. Someone you 00:32:57.839 --> 00:33:02.200 can continually look up to. But that's because 00:33:02.200 --> 00:33:05.339 they're looking up to Jesus, learning from him. 00:33:08.339 --> 00:33:10.880 Transformation in the Christian life is grounded 00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:15.180 in receiving God's grace, and then looking to 00:33:15.180 --> 00:33:20.539 Jesus, seeking to copy him. Let me give you one 00:33:20.539 --> 00:33:23.400 example of it. This is what it says in 1 Peter 00:33:23.400 --> 00:33:49.349 2. He himself bore our sins in his body on the 00:33:49.349 --> 00:33:52.190 tree that we might die to sin and live to righteousness 00:33:52.190 --> 00:33:57.509 By his wounds you have been healed You see it's 00:33:57.509 --> 00:34:00.369 it's grounded in God's grace those green words 00:34:00.369 --> 00:34:03.970 there, isn't it? How Jesus has suffered for us 00:34:03.970 --> 00:34:08.030 how he bore our sins But then that leads to he 00:34:08.030 --> 00:34:13.070 is now an example for us a role model That we 00:34:13.070 --> 00:34:18.920 act differently as men Back to our table. So 00:34:18.920 --> 00:34:21.579 what happens in the New Testament when men are 00:34:21.579 --> 00:34:25.219 grounded in God's grace? Well, they do these 00:34:25.219 --> 00:34:28.880 things like Jesus. Paul says, I do not permit 00:34:28.880 --> 00:34:31.480 a woman to teach or to assume authority over 00:34:31.480 --> 00:34:33.719 a man. She must be quiet, for Adam was formed 00:34:33.719 --> 00:34:36.500 first then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived, 00:34:36.559 --> 00:34:38.420 it was the woman who was deceived and became 00:34:38.420 --> 00:34:41.300 a sinner. And all around that is Paul telling 00:34:41.300 --> 00:34:43.679 men how to leave the church, because the church 00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:47.079 is the household of God. And just like any household, 00:34:47.340 --> 00:34:51.420 men are to lead it. So Paul tells men how to 00:34:51.420 --> 00:34:55.519 lead in a Christ -like way. Protectors, likewise 00:34:55.519 --> 00:34:57.619 husbands, live with your wives in an understanding 00:34:57.619 --> 00:34:59.980 way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker 00:34:59.980 --> 00:35:02.900 vessel. No, she's not built like we're built. 00:35:03.239 --> 00:35:06.280 That's okay. We're equal in value, but we're 00:35:06.280 --> 00:35:08.860 different. And since they are heirs with you 00:35:08.860 --> 00:35:11.699 of the grace of life, so that your prayers may 00:35:11.699 --> 00:35:16.460 not be hindered. We're to protect the women in 00:35:16.460 --> 00:35:20.800 our lives and one of the key ways we do that 00:35:20.800 --> 00:35:24.679 is to be prayerful people and our relationship 00:35:24.679 --> 00:35:27.539 with God is going to struggle if we're not protecting 00:35:27.539 --> 00:35:31.539 of the women in our lives. And then we're to 00:35:31.539 --> 00:35:34.480 be providers in the same way husbands should 00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:36.699 love their wives as their own bodies. You know 00:35:36.699 --> 00:35:39.239 you look after your body I hope. Well that's 00:35:39.239 --> 00:35:42.489 what we're meant to do. with women and especially 00:35:42.489 --> 00:35:45.110 our wives. He who loves his wife loves himself 00:35:45.110 --> 00:35:48.110 for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes 00:35:48.110 --> 00:35:51.889 and cherishes it just as Christ does the church. 00:35:52.550 --> 00:35:56.030 We work hard to give to others and provide for 00:35:56.030 --> 00:36:00.070 them. See these are Christ -like behaviors driven 00:36:00.070 --> 00:36:08.150 by grace. So what about you? As men we all struggle 00:36:08.320 --> 00:36:10.820 with doing these things it's hard we're sinners 00:36:10.820 --> 00:36:15.219 we all tend to struggle in one of these ways 00:36:15.219 --> 00:36:21.559 which one of these do you tend to ward most it 00:36:21.559 --> 00:36:23.619 may be different depending on the season of your 00:36:23.619 --> 00:36:27.019 life but i'm talking about today talk about now 00:36:27.019 --> 00:36:31.760 which one is it for you passive people pleaser 00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:39.010 misogynistic tough guy the stupid sluggard Identify 00:36:39.010 --> 00:36:43.010 where you tend to be toxic. Remember that you've 00:36:43.010 --> 00:36:46.670 been forgiven of it. Confess it to God and make 00:36:46.670 --> 00:36:51.289 a plan to change it. Because that's what men 00:36:51.289 --> 00:36:57.010 do. That's what it means to be a man. It's to 00:36:57.010 --> 00:36:59.269 take responsibility for your own stuff, isn't 00:36:59.269 --> 00:37:01.809 it? And to seek to grow by God's grace. It's 00:37:01.809 --> 00:37:07.920 to go on that journey of growth. And when men 00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:12.260 do that, the next generation of men aren't behind 00:37:12.260 --> 00:37:15.980 the eight ball, are they? They get a head start. 00:37:16.960 --> 00:37:20.239 Because they see what it is to be a man and how 00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:23.820 good it is to be a man. They're part of communities 00:37:23.820 --> 00:37:26.599 with men who are role models because they're 00:37:26.599 --> 00:37:30.639 copying Jesus. And then those boys will become 00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:33.420 men who see that they need Jesus to save them 00:37:33.420 --> 00:37:36.750 from their toxicity. and to help them be the 00:37:36.750 --> 00:37:41.969 sort of men that God created them to be. Like 00:37:41.969 --> 00:37:45.030 I said in the interview earlier, for me there 00:37:45.030 --> 00:37:47.750 was a really unique bloke in our church when 00:37:47.750 --> 00:37:50.789 I was growing up named Nathan. He was a role 00:37:50.789 --> 00:37:53.349 model to me and to many other men. I mean, there 00:37:53.349 --> 00:37:58.449 were men, young men there and boys as well, whose 00:37:58.449 --> 00:38:00.769 parents treated them horribly, whose parents 00:38:00.769 --> 00:38:04.429 had... whose dads had abandoned them, you know, 00:38:04.550 --> 00:38:07.090 all sorts of things. And Nathan was just, had 00:38:07.090 --> 00:38:10.010 this amazing ability to love and care for these 00:38:10.010 --> 00:38:14.170 young boys, to guide them and support them and 00:38:14.170 --> 00:38:18.730 teach them the Bible. And he was an incredible 00:38:18.730 --> 00:38:24.349 example as well. He shared life with them. Has 00:38:24.349 --> 00:38:27.710 God's grace driven you to be a man like that? 00:38:29.599 --> 00:38:33.000 making you a role model to other men and young 00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:38.219 men especially. Let's pray that that would happen. 00:38:40.420 --> 00:38:42.280 Heavenly Father, we ask that you would help us 00:38:42.280 --> 00:38:46.000 to be godly men, that our godliness would be 00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:49.739 driven by grace and that we would constantly 00:38:49.739 --> 00:38:55.400 remember your grace. Help us to be godly pioneers, 00:38:56.480 --> 00:39:00.900 protectors and providers. And those times where 00:39:00.900 --> 00:39:06.579 we are toxic help us to repent, to own it, to 00:39:06.579 --> 00:39:12.440 apologize, and to seek to change. And Father, 00:39:12.480 --> 00:39:16.480 by your Spirit, we pray that we would help us 00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:19.219 on this journey of becoming more Christ -like. 00:39:20.260 --> 00:39:23.579 Help us to be more like Jesus every day, every 00:39:23.579 --> 00:39:27.960 year, every decade, that we may be men like him. 00:39:28.619 --> 00:39:31.659 And we ask this in His name. Amen.