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I'm your host, Hallie.
This is Super Freak, awakening for the next gen.
Let's go.
All right, everybody, I'm going to jump right into today's episode where we're going to
talk about victim patterning.
Oh, yeah, it's a juicy one.
I'm not quite sure how long this will be, but I want to cover a few things because I
just finished writing a bunch on it and about it in my book.
And it was surprising to me also to see a lot of what the data revealed, which I'll get
into a little bit here as well.
But let's get into it.
So essentially, victim programming is something that I see a lot in sessions that's in combination
with abuse, sacrifice, alcoholism.
Almost all of them, honestly, have some level of victim running.
The collective victim narrative right now is off the charts.
It goes a little something like this.
When the feeling of self pity or deep defeatedness is present, it's accommodating an emotion
typically around fear or self hatred.
This is how you know you can start to sniff that victim is in the programming.
You'll get why is this happening to me and or this always happens to me, this kind of
thing, this type of storyline.
When you're asking these questions, this is accommodating a victim program.
Victim patterns love to avoid blame and it loves to play patty cake with self hatred.
The rumination loops, meaning the loops that play over and over and over again, like, ugh,
I hate myself.
I hate that I hate myself.
And then I generally hate feeling hate.
I've seen this pattern involved into mental breaks and even psychosis deep, deep, deep
down when there's a lot of obesity or there's bulimic tendencies or there's anorexia tendencies
or you're in food avoidance or the relationship with food becomes this cycle where you binge
to hide some level of feeling or hide some level of emotion or push that down.
You want to change your state.
Then you kind of chemically come out of that binge and then you have so much guilt and
then you kind of hate yourself that you overeat this kind of patterning.
A lot of the times runs with victim abuse.
So when I see these types of things, usually there's a veiled part of the childhood that
was something had happened and there's an internal registration of, oh, I'm not safe
in my body.
This doesn't feel good.
It has to do with safety.
Then the food mechanism or strategy becomes a way to feel safe and avoid and be protected.
So the self-hatred pattern is usually pretty wrapped up in there as well when there's a
lot of hate that's being thrown out into the world.
Even people who are very, very nice, these very, very uber-uber sweet people who just
will do anything and have all this self-sacrifice pattern going on and will give all of themselves
all this martyrism.
Usually also tied in with some self-hatred too, which is kind of interesting.
Essentially, it has to do with value.
You really just don't think you have any.
So you're just going to like, boop, give it up and it doesn't really matter anyway.
You'll just settle for less anyway.
You'll take the crumbs and make a cookie out of them anyway.
This kind of thing and it's rife and it's tricky.
This pattern wants you to settle for less.
So the trick to deprogramming a lot of this stuff, that's why awakening truly is an extreme
sport is to pay attention to your thoughts, pay attention to how you create your reality.
And then you got to challenge them, especially in the beginning, because it's not enough
to, yes, we want to heal.
And that's a big part of this process.
But behavioral change creates the contrary experience and that is super required to have
mind-body coherence, essentially.
First victim patterns love to avoid responsibility.
One main sign is really in a lack of accountability.
This might involve placing blame elsewhere, making excuses, not taking responsibility,
trusting to life hurdles with, it's not my fault.
It's not my fault is a big one for the victim, not seeking possible solutions.
So not all negative situations that happen to us are completely uncontrollable, even
if they seem that way at first.
Often there's at least some small action that could lead to improvement, that next indicated
action, what that will be.
People who run victim patterns are paralyzed with hopelessness.
So what do we know about hope?
It's the same with despair.
They're the same in code.
The next on the list is you will feel a sense of powerlessness.
Many people who feel victimized believe they lack power to change their situation.
They don't enjoy feeling downtroddened and bummed out and would love for things to go
well all the time.
They don't want to look at stuff.
And so powerlessness becomes a way that they can quickly pull their environment, call people
that they know, figure out what the next step is.
System is in a state of fight or flight and have other people tell them what they want
to believe, think, act and do.
This powerlessness is rife also in the field right now and is exactly how these elite nefarious
consciousness wants us to feel.
They want us to feel disempowered and they want us to feel hopeless because we're easier
to control that way.
This next one is huge.
Negative self-talk and self-sabotage.
People living with a victim mentality may internalize the negative messages suggested by the challenges
they face feeling victimized by all of it.
So everything bad happens to me.
I can't do anything about it.
So why try?
I deserve the bad things that happen to me.
No one cares about me.
I can't go because I feel so fat.
I don't have anything to wear.
What are people going to think about me?
I hate myself in pictures.
Just endless amounts of criticism and then negative talk about others.
When you find somebody who's very, very critical about what other people are saying, what other
people are wearing, what other people are doing with their lives, this negativity, this
gossipy type, very victim pattern, one-on-one.
So pay attention to that because what does anybody wearing have to do with you?
That's saying you listening to this, but just in general.
A lot of us grow up with a parent that runs victim and as a result, we have that running
in our fields as well.
And so we will inevitably run some type of victim program too.
I had so much of it.
I didn't even realize it.
And ironically, right?
I'm not a victim.
What are you talking about?
But oh yeah.
And it's subtle and it's tricky.
And for me, it was wrapped up in hero frequencies.
It was wrapped up in martyrism and sacrifice.
I would literally rescue everything seven ways from Sunday.
Companies, men, dogs, a bug, you name it.
I had to take care of it because I sympathized so much and ran into a distorted pattern of
service to be able to save everything and help everything at the expense of myself.
So I didn't have enough value for myself, but it ended up being a lot of victim.
That's where all this abuse came into my life also.
Once I got clear on what this was and deep program it, I had to really start paying attention
to my thoughts.
So with self sabotage, you know, negative self talk goes hand in hand with self sabotage.
People who believe their self talk often have an easier time living it out.
So if you believe your piece of shit, then that will continue to show up for you.
If that self talk is negative, they may be more likely to unconsciously sabotage any attempts
they could make towards change.
Learning something new, it gets harder later because our brains are not as plastic.
It doesn't have as much plasticity.
We have to work harder at it.
And when our brains are in theta and like little mush, it's a lot easier in the first
10 years, 13 years, but learning something new essentially forges new synaptic connections
in the brain.
But if you don't review what you've learned, then you'll forget it.
Whatever you are learning through this process of awakening, reteach what you know.
That will help you get a handle on the understanding and the mechanics of it.
Nerve cells will wire and they'll fire together and you'll begin to install new neurological
hardware in your brains based on contrary change.
And then once this new electrical information is turned on, when they will then create feelings
or emotions.
And the moment you feel something, right, or you have an emotion about something, your
body is turned on, you're training your body to basically respond to the chemical reaction
in the subconscious mind that you just reprogrammed by overriding negative self talk, sabotage,
etc.
So the idea is to get your body and mind synced up with your thoughts and get your actions
and your thoughts aligned.
Once you do these things work together and they work in tandem, you create a new experience
which is what we're here to do.
We're here to experience life.
So that's why a lot of people have different schools.
People focus on the brain, some people focus on the body, people will focus on the mind-body
connection but that happens really slow.
So use an integrative approach with this stuff, you guys.
Everything is not a one and done but I promise you this work is the fastest I found to just
keep clearing and clearing and then eventually it's like the law of one, that law of 1%
where you just do a little bit every single day and then you make these huge leaps and
it gets a lot easier.
And people have had amazing changes so far.
So keep going.
I do want to talk about trauma because victims typically go through a tremendous amount of
it and I believe, I truly, truly believe that there is no limit to the things that we can
transcend.
I believe trauma even at severe levels of it can be transformed and I do not put a limitation
on our ability to change because I know the human spirit and I know our potential.
So make small changes and you'll start to see bigger rewards.
When you change the brain, you change the heart and then you also change the gene expression
so they all go together.
Genes can up-regulate, they can down-regulate based on your beliefs and what's possible.
The problem is we don't believe in ourselves, which is the next thing on this list that
I have going on here.
It's lack of self-confidence.
People who see themselves as victims may struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem.
Absolutely, because the V of the slave pattern is about value.
It's value, the self-valuation.
How do I see myself, this victim value piece?
Self-value is huge, low self-worth, non-deserving, self-esteem issues, self-hatred, this is all
under the value piece.
If we're outsourcing our value and we don't self-source and we don't know how valuable
we are, we're going to constantly give it away.
If that's running in addition with abuse, if victim and lack of self-value is running
in addition with abuse, then it's going to be a dumpster fire.
No matter where you are, you will magnetize that to yourself.
This can make feeling really, the victimization pattern is, let's say, aggravated with lack
of self-confidence.
You'll feel frustration, anger, resentment, a victim mentality can take a toll on emotional
well-being as well.
People with this mindset might feel frustrated and angry with the world that seems to be
against them, hopeless about their circumstances, never changing, hurt when they believed, loved
ones don't care, resentful of people who seem happy and successful.
This is a huge one.
People that also feel tremendous fomo, they'll feel left out, not good enough all the time,
and so on and so forth.
These emotions can weigh heavily on people who believe they'll always be victims.
Feeling and festering when they aren't addressed.
Over time, these feelings might contribute to angry outbursts, depression, isolation,
loneliness, bitterness, and such an unwillingness to change that you will create separations
in the family.
For me, when I was looking at the data, the victim pattern came from trauma, betrayal,
and very, very long lines of sacrifice from war, disempowerment, and control systems.
Betrayal of trust, especially repeated betrayals, can also make people feel like victims and
make it hard for them to trust anyone.
If your primary caregiver, for example, rarely followed through on commitments to you as
a child, you may have a hard time trusting others down the line.
If you were promised a whole bunch of things by your parents and then those people perpetually
didn't show up, that would be another betrayal.
If you opened up yourself in any way and you feel like you were disregarded, neglected,
emotionally neglected, didn't have your needs met in a very deliberate way, this can feel
like a great betrayal.
Betrayal manifests its way into so many different things.
I can't remember the actual percentage now, but I want to say, let's say 100 sessions,
over 75% ran victim.
75%.
If I just took a 100, well, if I even took it out of a thousand, but it's a lot.
The combination is a lot.
In the book I have basically paired, you'll see me talking about a certain amount of people.
This percentage ran 65% ran control.
Then in conjunction with control, they ran 15% self-sabotage patterns or 25% victim patterns,
in addition with self-sacrifice, martyr, and abuse.
It just became really wild.
I'm like, man, this thesis is starting to prove itself over and over again.
Another pattern that will come from victimization is codependency.
This mindset can also develop alongside having codependent patterns and anxious attachment
styles and relationships.
A codependent person may sacrifice their goals to support their partner.
Again, coming in a little bit with the martyr frequency, as I just talked about, as a result,
they may feel frustrated and resentful about never getting what they need without acknowledging
their own role in the situation.
Whenever I see deep codependency patterns, anxious attachment styles, avoidant attachment
styles, or anxious avoidant attachment styles, inevitably there's some victimization going
on, or there's been abuse or neglect, or the level of worth that person sees themselves
through that lens of worth is not very high.
The next thing is manipulation.
Some people who take on the role of victim might seem to enjoy blaming others for problems
they cause, lashing out and making others feel guilty or manipulating others by for sympathy
and attention.
Manipulation runs a real, real hand in hand with victim.
You always see this around the holidays, or some event, or I can't believe you're not
going to come to that.
Why not?
Aren't you going to come over here?
Why aren't you joining?
There's always a lot of judgment, and then there's a response that will instigate some
type of guilt in the person that they're interacting with, because, again, the victim wants to
feel that way.
The pattern wants to fulfill itself, so it will do anything to maintain its center of
sorrow.
Another one is the victim pattern will avoid labeling.
Labels generally aren't helpful.
Victim is particularly, is a particularly charged label.
It's best to avoid referring to someone as a victim or say they're acting like a victim.
Instead, try to compassionately bring up specific behaviors or feelings you notice, such as
complaining, shifting blame, not accepting responsibility, feeling trapped or powerless,
feeling like nothing makes a difference.
This is how you basically interact with a victim, is you don't want to call them that,
but I don't really follow this because I'm just a very matter of fact person and I don't
feel like sugarcoating anything really helps.
I definitely read the room.
If someone's going to get blown out, I'm not going to tell them that, but I will point
out various specific things that they say.
For example, pretend that your lady whistled down in Bridgerton.
She is always a wallflower, and she will pick up on the what people say and pick out the
phrasing and then repeat it back to them or talk to somebody else about it, which, yes,
it's a gossip column, but I'm just here to show the example and shine light on this example
that listen to what people say and then say, that's interesting that you said it that way.
I didn't notice this, this and this about this situation.
Tell me more about that and then reframe it and see if you can reframe the question and
put it back to them because the victims love to talk about themselves and they love to
just make it all about them and their story and how bummed out they are and how hard it's
been for them.
Without calling them like, oh my God, that's such victim patterning.
I can't even handle that.
I have very few people in my life who can really, really handle that level of truth.
A lot of you guys too, everyone who has sessions with me, they're like, come on, tell me.
I do and I love that about you guys.
Thank you.
Even then, it's like I have to hold a very high level of theta frequencies and big open
heart and a compassion bubble because it's hard.
It's hard to hear hard patterns and none of this stuff is you.
That's the good news.
You're just here to transcend it.
Keep in mind also that people who have a really hard time hearing the truth have a sense of
interpersonal victimhood, a need for a recognition, some type of moral elitism.
They see themselves as just immaculate, as imperfect, like they can do nothing wrong.
They typically lack empathy and they have a strong tendency to ruminate.
So they will stay in loops and they will brood and remain extremely fixated on times, ways,
relationships, where they experienced victimization and being taken advantage of.
They will take exactly what they hear on the media as truth.
That's Bible and they will run with it.
Ultimately, a victim pattern comes from deep, deep sense of fear, fear of being found out,
fear of being imperfect, fear of harm in any kind of way.
This pattern is driven specifically by motivations that have three different pillars, other patterns,
conditioning and then wounding.
So when it comes to actually starting to unpack this stuff, pay attention to the questions
that I put in the very beginning.
If you are questioning in any way why this is happening to me and this always happens
to me and you find yourself in that mindset or you're in that loop, you're like, okay,
wait a minute, grab that pattern worksheet and right away you're like, I am in a loop,
I am in a story.
What is the story that's being told right now?
What do I believe to be true about myself?
Who runs this pattern?
What right or what aspect of this is it affecting me?
It's affecting my whole life.
Whenever I think this way, I'm in a bad mood, my money isn't right, my relationships are
right, et cetera.
Who runs this pattern?
What am I afraid people will find out?
Why is this affecting me so much?
Why do I even care?
And where is it in my body space?
Victims tend to run slouch shoulders higher in the neck.
It becomes a burden so it's in the upper back.
You might get loads and loads of stomach issues, so it's disempowerment, right?
That solar meridian, that power source will get tight digestion.
Once you track it in the body, put your focused awareness on it and imagine sending it back
to its origin transmuted and then thank it for helping you learn.
And then you move on to the next.
Gratitude is an enormous diffuser for victim.
You're like, I am choosing my reality in every single moment.
I'm empowered by the opportunity to be able to transmute this now and I declare and command
this is transmuted now from eternity to eternity.
And so it is.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I mean, whatever mantras you need to find, these things are very powerful.
They are words that have a lot of power.
They have a lot of magnetism.
They're very high frequency.
We're the only species that can do this.
We can take thought and turn things into form.
We're very, very respected in the multidimensional multiverse.
That was the baby tangent, but I say all of this because victim is tough.
It's insidious and it's in multiple, multiple, multiple layers, but you're just going to
peel the onion and you're going to go layer by layer by layer.
And then eventually you're going to just be such a beast because you take on your life
with such veracity and love and care and you take such care of yourself because you love
yourself that that pattern can no longer survive.
I promise you because I'm living it.
Okay.
All right, you guys, this is a loaded episode.
Take good care, question everything and I'll see you next week.
Thanks so much for listening, you guys.
Please make sure to leave a review and follow the fun on social media because that's how
it works in this world.
In the meantime, get your freak on.
I'll see you in the next session.