1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,320 Hey, Big Love Fam, welcome to Super Freak. 2 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:13,880 This is a high vibe podcast, y'all, exploring all things frequencies, how they govern form, 3 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,480 shape our realities, and are the key to living from your full potential. 4 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:22,280 It's non-moo combos about super-woo shit, unpacking what I call the science of self. 5 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:26,800 From body and soul literacy to the power of understanding vibration, higher consciousness, 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,480 quantum physics, and spiritual psych, let this podcast become a resource for you on 7 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,080 your journey to self mastery. 8 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:38,280 If you're curious and ready to free your mind, unlock the body, and truly become limitless, 9 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:39,280 then you're in the right place. 10 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,280 I'm your host, Hallie. 11 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,080 This is Super Freak, awakening for the next gen. 12 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,080 Let's go. 13 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:52,440 All right, everybody, I'm going to jump right into today's episode where we're going to 14 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,360 talk about victim patterning. 15 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:59,720 Oh, yeah, it's a juicy one. 16 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,520 I'm not quite sure how long this will be, but I want to cover a few things because I 17 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:09,680 just finished writing a bunch on it and about it in my book. 18 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:15,360 And it was surprising to me also to see a lot of what the data revealed, which I'll get 19 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,840 into a little bit here as well. 20 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:18,920 But let's get into it. 21 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:25,000 So essentially, victim programming is something that I see a lot in sessions that's in combination 22 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:30,080 with abuse, sacrifice, alcoholism. 23 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:34,600 Almost all of them, honestly, have some level of victim running. 24 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:40,360 The collective victim narrative right now is off the charts. 25 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,480 It goes a little something like this. 26 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:48,480 When the feeling of self pity or deep defeatedness is present, it's accommodating an emotion 27 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,200 typically around fear or self hatred. 28 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:56,840 This is how you know you can start to sniff that victim is in the programming. 29 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:02,600 You'll get why is this happening to me and or this always happens to me, this kind of 30 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,680 thing, this type of storyline. 31 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:09,440 When you're asking these questions, this is accommodating a victim program. 32 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:15,360 Victim patterns love to avoid blame and it loves to play patty cake with self hatred. 33 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:21,160 The rumination loops, meaning the loops that play over and over and over again, like, ugh, 34 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:22,600 I hate myself. 35 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,600 I hate that I hate myself. 36 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,160 And then I generally hate feeling hate. 37 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:33,120 I've seen this pattern involved into mental breaks and even psychosis deep, deep, deep 38 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:41,080 down when there's a lot of obesity or there's bulimic tendencies or there's anorexia tendencies 39 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:46,800 or you're in food avoidance or the relationship with food becomes this cycle where you binge 40 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:53,600 to hide some level of feeling or hide some level of emotion or push that down. 41 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,880 You want to change your state. 42 00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:00,520 Then you kind of chemically come out of that binge and then you have so much guilt and 43 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,880 then you kind of hate yourself that you overeat this kind of patterning. 44 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,760 A lot of the times runs with victim abuse. 45 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,800 So when I see these types of things, usually there's a veiled part of the childhood that 46 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:16,920 was something had happened and there's an internal registration of, oh, I'm not safe 47 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:17,920 in my body. 48 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:18,920 This doesn't feel good. 49 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,480 It has to do with safety. 50 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:27,600 Then the food mechanism or strategy becomes a way to feel safe and avoid and be protected. 51 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:33,160 So the self-hatred pattern is usually pretty wrapped up in there as well when there's a 52 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,720 lot of hate that's being thrown out into the world. 53 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:41,800 Even people who are very, very nice, these very, very uber-uber sweet people who just 54 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:47,320 will do anything and have all this self-sacrifice pattern going on and will give all of themselves 55 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,800 all this martyrism. 56 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,400 Usually also tied in with some self-hatred too, which is kind of interesting. 57 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,440 Essentially, it has to do with value. 58 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,240 You really just don't think you have any. 59 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:01,360 So you're just going to like, boop, give it up and it doesn't really matter anyway. 60 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,920 You'll just settle for less anyway. 61 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,600 You'll take the crumbs and make a cookie out of them anyway. 62 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,200 This kind of thing and it's rife and it's tricky. 63 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,880 This pattern wants you to settle for less. 64 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:17,320 So the trick to deprogramming a lot of this stuff, that's why awakening truly is an extreme 65 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:22,560 sport is to pay attention to your thoughts, pay attention to how you create your reality. 66 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:26,560 And then you got to challenge them, especially in the beginning, because it's not enough 67 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,640 to, yes, we want to heal. 68 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,480 And that's a big part of this process. 69 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:39,120 But behavioral change creates the contrary experience and that is super required to have 70 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:43,160 mind-body coherence, essentially. 71 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,840 First victim patterns love to avoid responsibility. 72 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:51,360 One main sign is really in a lack of accountability. 73 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:58,400 This might involve placing blame elsewhere, making excuses, not taking responsibility, 74 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:04,280 trusting to life hurdles with, it's not my fault. 75 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:10,600 It's not my fault is a big one for the victim, not seeking possible solutions. 76 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,680 So not all negative situations that happen to us are completely uncontrollable, even 77 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,160 if they seem that way at first. 78 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:22,760 Often there's at least some small action that could lead to improvement, that next indicated 79 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,680 action, what that will be. 80 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,440 People who run victim patterns are paralyzed with hopelessness. 81 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,920 So what do we know about hope? 82 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,280 It's the same with despair. 83 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,680 They're the same in code. 84 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,680 The next on the list is you will feel a sense of powerlessness. 85 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:44,520 Many people who feel victimized believe they lack power to change their situation. 86 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:49,160 They don't enjoy feeling downtroddened and bummed out and would love for things to go 87 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,960 well all the time. 88 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,880 They don't want to look at stuff. 89 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:59,240 And so powerlessness becomes a way that they can quickly pull their environment, call people 90 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,280 that they know, figure out what the next step is. 91 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:07,320 System is in a state of fight or flight and have other people tell them what they want 92 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,640 to believe, think, act and do. 93 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:17,920 This powerlessness is rife also in the field right now and is exactly how these elite nefarious 94 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,840 consciousness wants us to feel. 95 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:23,960 They want us to feel disempowered and they want us to feel hopeless because we're easier 96 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,840 to control that way. 97 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,840 This next one is huge. 98 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:32,600 Negative self-talk and self-sabotage. 99 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:38,920 People living with a victim mentality may internalize the negative messages suggested by the challenges 100 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:42,600 they face feeling victimized by all of it. 101 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,520 So everything bad happens to me. 102 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,800 I can't do anything about it. 103 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,000 So why try? 104 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,800 I deserve the bad things that happen to me. 105 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,720 No one cares about me. 106 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,120 I can't go because I feel so fat. 107 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,880 I don't have anything to wear. 108 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,360 What are people going to think about me? 109 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,680 I hate myself in pictures. 110 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:05,400 Just endless amounts of criticism and then negative talk about others. 111 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:10,000 When you find somebody who's very, very critical about what other people are saying, what other 112 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:15,560 people are wearing, what other people are doing with their lives, this negativity, this 113 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,760 gossipy type, very victim pattern, one-on-one. 114 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:25,680 So pay attention to that because what does anybody wearing have to do with you? 115 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,080 That's saying you listening to this, but just in general. 116 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:32,360 A lot of us grow up with a parent that runs victim and as a result, we have that running 117 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,000 in our fields as well. 118 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,920 And so we will inevitably run some type of victim program too. 119 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:38,920 I had so much of it. 120 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,560 I didn't even realize it. 121 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,560 And ironically, right? 122 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,040 I'm not a victim. 123 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,760 What are you talking about? 124 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:45,840 But oh yeah. 125 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,960 And it's subtle and it's tricky. 126 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,680 And for me, it was wrapped up in hero frequencies. 127 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,840 It was wrapped up in martyrism and sacrifice. 128 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,880 I would literally rescue everything seven ways from Sunday. 129 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:01,000 Companies, men, dogs, a bug, you name it. 130 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:07,880 I had to take care of it because I sympathized so much and ran into a distorted pattern of 131 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:12,920 service to be able to save everything and help everything at the expense of myself. 132 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:16,240 So I didn't have enough value for myself, but it ended up being a lot of victim. 133 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,560 That's where all this abuse came into my life also. 134 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,840 Once I got clear on what this was and deep program it, I had to really start paying attention 135 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,080 to my thoughts. 136 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:30,640 So with self sabotage, you know, negative self talk goes hand in hand with self sabotage. 137 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:35,960 People who believe their self talk often have an easier time living it out. 138 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:40,080 So if you believe your piece of shit, then that will continue to show up for you. 139 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:45,440 If that self talk is negative, they may be more likely to unconsciously sabotage any attempts 140 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,880 they could make towards change. 141 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:55,600 Learning something new, it gets harder later because our brains are not as plastic. 142 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,640 It doesn't have as much plasticity. 143 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,360 We have to work harder at it. 144 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,920 And when our brains are in theta and like little mush, it's a lot easier in the first 145 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:09,520 10 years, 13 years, but learning something new essentially forges new synaptic connections 146 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:10,680 in the brain. 147 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:14,720 But if you don't review what you've learned, then you'll forget it. 148 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:19,680 Whatever you are learning through this process of awakening, reteach what you know. 149 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:24,960 That will help you get a handle on the understanding and the mechanics of it. 150 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:29,920 Nerve cells will wire and they'll fire together and you'll begin to install new neurological 151 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:35,480 hardware in your brains based on contrary change. 152 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:42,600 And then once this new electrical information is turned on, when they will then create feelings 153 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,160 or emotions. 154 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:47,720 And the moment you feel something, right, or you have an emotion about something, your 155 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:53,920 body is turned on, you're training your body to basically respond to the chemical reaction 156 00:09:53,920 --> 00:10:01,120 in the subconscious mind that you just reprogrammed by overriding negative self talk, sabotage, 157 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,640 etc. 158 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:08,160 So the idea is to get your body and mind synced up with your thoughts and get your actions 159 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,000 and your thoughts aligned. 160 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:16,920 Once you do these things work together and they work in tandem, you create a new experience 161 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,760 which is what we're here to do. 162 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,920 We're here to experience life. 163 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,120 So that's why a lot of people have different schools. 164 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:28,760 People focus on the brain, some people focus on the body, people will focus on the mind-body 165 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,040 connection but that happens really slow. 166 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,720 So use an integrative approach with this stuff, you guys. 167 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:40,600 Everything is not a one and done but I promise you this work is the fastest I found to just 168 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:45,480 keep clearing and clearing and then eventually it's like the law of one, that law of 1% 169 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:50,920 where you just do a little bit every single day and then you make these huge leaps and 170 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,440 it gets a lot easier. 171 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,080 And people have had amazing changes so far. 172 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,080 So keep going. 173 00:10:56,080 --> 00:11:01,880 I do want to talk about trauma because victims typically go through a tremendous amount of 174 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:09,400 it and I believe, I truly, truly believe that there is no limit to the things that we can 175 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,040 transcend. 176 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:15,400 I believe trauma even at severe levels of it can be transformed and I do not put a limitation 177 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:20,880 on our ability to change because I know the human spirit and I know our potential. 178 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:26,520 So make small changes and you'll start to see bigger rewards. 179 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:31,200 When you change the brain, you change the heart and then you also change the gene expression 180 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,160 so they all go together. 181 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:37,600 Genes can up-regulate, they can down-regulate based on your beliefs and what's possible. 182 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:42,960 The problem is we don't believe in ourselves, which is the next thing on this list that 183 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:43,960 I have going on here. 184 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,080 It's lack of self-confidence. 185 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,240 People who see themselves as victims may struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem. 186 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:54,800 Absolutely, because the V of the slave pattern is about value. 187 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,040 It's value, the self-valuation. 188 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:02,520 How do I see myself, this victim value piece? 189 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:08,040 Self-value is huge, low self-worth, non-deserving, self-esteem issues, self-hatred, this is all 190 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,640 under the value piece. 191 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,880 If we're outsourcing our value and we don't self-source and we don't know how valuable 192 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,080 we are, we're going to constantly give it away. 193 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:20,760 If that's running in addition with abuse, if victim and lack of self-value is running 194 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:25,560 in addition with abuse, then it's going to be a dumpster fire. 195 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:29,640 No matter where you are, you will magnetize that to yourself. 196 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:38,080 This can make feeling really, the victimization pattern is, let's say, aggravated with lack 197 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,560 of self-confidence. 198 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:44,240 You'll feel frustration, anger, resentment, a victim mentality can take a toll on emotional 199 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,800 well-being as well. 200 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,840 People with this mindset might feel frustrated and angry with the world that seems to be 201 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:56,360 against them, hopeless about their circumstances, never changing, hurt when they believed, loved 202 00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:00,840 ones don't care, resentful of people who seem happy and successful. 203 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,520 This is a huge one. 204 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:07,760 People that also feel tremendous fomo, they'll feel left out, not good enough all the time, 205 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,200 and so on and so forth. 206 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:13,760 These emotions can weigh heavily on people who believe they'll always be victims. 207 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,440 Feeling and festering when they aren't addressed. 208 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:21,760 Over time, these feelings might contribute to angry outbursts, depression, isolation, 209 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:27,360 loneliness, bitterness, and such an unwillingness to change that you will create separations 210 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,240 in the family. 211 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:34,680 For me, when I was looking at the data, the victim pattern came from trauma, betrayal, 212 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:43,320 and very, very long lines of sacrifice from war, disempowerment, and control systems. 213 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:49,400 Betrayal of trust, especially repeated betrayals, can also make people feel like victims and 214 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,080 make it hard for them to trust anyone. 215 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:56,040 If your primary caregiver, for example, rarely followed through on commitments to you as 216 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,480 a child, you may have a hard time trusting others down the line. 217 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,960 If you were promised a whole bunch of things by your parents and then those people perpetually 218 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,960 didn't show up, that would be another betrayal. 219 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:12,400 If you opened up yourself in any way and you feel like you were disregarded, neglected, 220 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:18,800 emotionally neglected, didn't have your needs met in a very deliberate way, this can feel 221 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,520 like a great betrayal. 222 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:24,840 Betrayal manifests its way into so many different things. 223 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:30,920 I can't remember the actual percentage now, but I want to say, let's say 100 sessions, 224 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,920 over 75% ran victim. 225 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,800 75%. 226 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:40,800 If I just took a 100, well, if I even took it out of a thousand, but it's a lot. 227 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,200 The combination is a lot. 228 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:49,200 In the book I have basically paired, you'll see me talking about a certain amount of people. 229 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:53,520 This percentage ran 65% ran control. 230 00:14:53,520 --> 00:15:00,720 Then in conjunction with control, they ran 15% self-sabotage patterns or 25% victim patterns, 231 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,680 in addition with self-sacrifice, martyr, and abuse. 232 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,000 It just became really wild. 233 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,440 I'm like, man, this thesis is starting to prove itself over and over again. 234 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:14,800 Another pattern that will come from victimization is codependency. 235 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:20,880 This mindset can also develop alongside having codependent patterns and anxious attachment 236 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,120 styles and relationships. 237 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:26,360 A codependent person may sacrifice their goals to support their partner. 238 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:30,240 Again, coming in a little bit with the martyr frequency, as I just talked about, as a result, 239 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,600 they may feel frustrated and resentful about never getting what they need without acknowledging 240 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,000 their own role in the situation. 241 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:44,160 Whenever I see deep codependency patterns, anxious attachment styles, avoidant attachment 242 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:48,480 styles, or anxious avoidant attachment styles, inevitably there's some victimization going 243 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:55,800 on, or there's been abuse or neglect, or the level of worth that person sees themselves 244 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,160 through that lens of worth is not very high. 245 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,960 The next thing is manipulation. 246 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:06,200 Some people who take on the role of victim might seem to enjoy blaming others for problems 247 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:11,560 they cause, lashing out and making others feel guilty or manipulating others by for sympathy 248 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,000 and attention. 249 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:18,600 Manipulation runs a real, real hand in hand with victim. 250 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,520 You always see this around the holidays, or some event, or I can't believe you're not 251 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:23,520 going to come to that. 252 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,520 Why not? 253 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,400 Aren't you going to come over here? 254 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,120 Why aren't you joining? 255 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,840 There's always a lot of judgment, and then there's a response that will instigate some 256 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:40,120 type of guilt in the person that they're interacting with, because, again, the victim wants to 257 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,520 feel that way. 258 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:47,120 The pattern wants to fulfill itself, so it will do anything to maintain its center of 259 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,000 sorrow. 260 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:54,320 Another one is the victim pattern will avoid labeling. 261 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,240 Labels generally aren't helpful. 262 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,800 Victim is particularly, is a particularly charged label. 263 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:04,680 It's best to avoid referring to someone as a victim or say they're acting like a victim. 264 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:10,440 Instead, try to compassionately bring up specific behaviors or feelings you notice, such as 265 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:15,840 complaining, shifting blame, not accepting responsibility, feeling trapped or powerless, 266 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,400 feeling like nothing makes a difference. 267 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:23,120 This is how you basically interact with a victim, is you don't want to call them that, 268 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:27,720 but I don't really follow this because I'm just a very matter of fact person and I don't 269 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,880 feel like sugarcoating anything really helps. 270 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,520 I definitely read the room. 271 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:36,200 If someone's going to get blown out, I'm not going to tell them that, but I will point 272 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,000 out various specific things that they say. 273 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:43,880 For example, pretend that your lady whistled down in Bridgerton. 274 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:50,600 She is always a wallflower, and she will pick up on the what people say and pick out the 275 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:56,240 phrasing and then repeat it back to them or talk to somebody else about it, which, yes, 276 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:02,160 it's a gossip column, but I'm just here to show the example and shine light on this example 277 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:07,720 that listen to what people say and then say, that's interesting that you said it that way. 278 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,840 I didn't notice this, this and this about this situation. 279 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:16,360 Tell me more about that and then reframe it and see if you can reframe the question and 280 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:21,720 put it back to them because the victims love to talk about themselves and they love to 281 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:26,640 just make it all about them and their story and how bummed out they are and how hard it's 282 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,360 been for them. 283 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,880 Without calling them like, oh my God, that's such victim patterning. 284 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,360 I can't even handle that. 285 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,880 I have very few people in my life who can really, really handle that level of truth. 286 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:42,520 A lot of you guys too, everyone who has sessions with me, they're like, come on, tell me. 287 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,320 I do and I love that about you guys. 288 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,480 Thank you. 289 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:50,580 Even then, it's like I have to hold a very high level of theta frequencies and big open 290 00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:53,280 heart and a compassion bubble because it's hard. 291 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,640 It's hard to hear hard patterns and none of this stuff is you. 292 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,640 That's the good news. 293 00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,800 You're just here to transcend it. 294 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:05,160 Keep in mind also that people who have a really hard time hearing the truth have a sense of 295 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:10,440 interpersonal victimhood, a need for a recognition, some type of moral elitism. 296 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:15,520 They see themselves as just immaculate, as imperfect, like they can do nothing wrong. 297 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:20,480 They typically lack empathy and they have a strong tendency to ruminate. 298 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:27,320 So they will stay in loops and they will brood and remain extremely fixated on times, ways, 299 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:32,680 relationships, where they experienced victimization and being taken advantage of. 300 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,120 They will take exactly what they hear on the media as truth. 301 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:39,520 That's Bible and they will run with it. 302 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:45,920 Ultimately, a victim pattern comes from deep, deep sense of fear, fear of being found out, 303 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,860 fear of being imperfect, fear of harm in any kind of way. 304 00:19:49,860 --> 00:19:58,680 This pattern is driven specifically by motivations that have three different pillars, other patterns, 305 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,120 conditioning and then wounding. 306 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:07,360 So when it comes to actually starting to unpack this stuff, pay attention to the questions 307 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,720 that I put in the very beginning. 308 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:14,640 If you are questioning in any way why this is happening to me and this always happens 309 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:19,840 to me and you find yourself in that mindset or you're in that loop, you're like, okay, 310 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:26,000 wait a minute, grab that pattern worksheet and right away you're like, I am in a loop, 311 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,400 I am in a story. 312 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,320 What is the story that's being told right now? 313 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,640 What do I believe to be true about myself? 314 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,960 Who runs this pattern? 315 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,480 What right or what aspect of this is it affecting me? 316 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,160 It's affecting my whole life. 317 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,960 Whenever I think this way, I'm in a bad mood, my money isn't right, my relationships are 318 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,080 right, et cetera. 319 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,880 Who runs this pattern? 320 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,200 What am I afraid people will find out? 321 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,280 Why is this affecting me so much? 322 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,920 Why do I even care? 323 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,520 And where is it in my body space? 324 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,160 Victims tend to run slouch shoulders higher in the neck. 325 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,620 It becomes a burden so it's in the upper back. 326 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:04,040 You might get loads and loads of stomach issues, so it's disempowerment, right? 327 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:10,200 That solar meridian, that power source will get tight digestion. 328 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:15,920 Once you track it in the body, put your focused awareness on it and imagine sending it back 329 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:21,160 to its origin transmuted and then thank it for helping you learn. 330 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,160 And then you move on to the next. 331 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,320 Gratitude is an enormous diffuser for victim. 332 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,880 You're like, I am choosing my reality in every single moment. 333 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:36,560 I'm empowered by the opportunity to be able to transmute this now and I declare and command 334 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,760 this is transmuted now from eternity to eternity. 335 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:40,760 And so it is. 336 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:41,760 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 337 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,760 I mean, whatever mantras you need to find, these things are very powerful. 338 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,760 They are words that have a lot of power. 339 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,440 They have a lot of magnetism. 340 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,440 They're very high frequency. 341 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,520 We're the only species that can do this. 342 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,920 We can take thought and turn things into form. 343 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:59,400 We're very, very respected in the multidimensional multiverse. 344 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:05,160 That was the baby tangent, but I say all of this because victim is tough. 345 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,480 It's insidious and it's in multiple, multiple, multiple layers, but you're just going to 346 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,720 peel the onion and you're going to go layer by layer by layer. 347 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:16,560 And then eventually you're going to just be such a beast because you take on your life 348 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:21,320 with such veracity and love and care and you take such care of yourself because you love 349 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,000 yourself that that pattern can no longer survive. 350 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,120 I promise you because I'm living it. 351 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,120 Okay. 352 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,520 All right, you guys, this is a loaded episode. 353 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:35,280 Take good care, question everything and I'll see you next week. 354 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,640 Thanks so much for listening, you guys. 355 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,160 Please make sure to leave a review and follow the fun on social media because that's how 356 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,760 it works in this world. 357 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,760 In the meantime, get your freak on. 358 00:22:42,760 --> 00:23:10,840 I'll see you in the next session.