1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,320 Hey, Big Love Fam, welcome to Super Freak. 2 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:13,880 This is a high vibe podcast, y'all, exploring all things frequencies, how they govern form, 3 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,480 shape our realities, and are the key to living from your full potential. 4 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:22,280 It's non-moo combos about Super Roo shit, unpacking what I call the science of self. 5 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:26,800 From body and soul literacy to the power of understanding vibration, higher consciousness, 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,480 quantum physics, and spiritual psych, let this podcast become a resource for you on 7 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,080 your journey to self mastery. 8 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:38,240 If you're curious and ready to free your mind, unlock the body, and truly become limitless, 9 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:39,240 then you're in the right place. 10 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,240 I'm your host, Tali. 11 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,040 This is Super Freak, awakening for the next gen. 12 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,040 Let's go. 13 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:53,040 All right, everybody, going to jump right into how we basically create workarounds. 14 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,520 Self avoidance and self gaslighting. 15 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,840 How does this actually happen? 16 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,520 Where is this coming from? 17 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:00,720 And how do we navigate it? 18 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:08,000 What are some of the signs that we can look for when it comes to gaslighting and avoidance? 19 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:16,600 This is coming off of some content that you guys are sending to me, tagging me on, or through 20 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,960 conversations in the DMs. 21 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:24,400 And what I've been noticing in sessions is self gaslighting and avoidance. 22 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,560 So let me talk about what those patterns are. 23 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:33,480 When we are raised with any type of dynamic around emotional immaturity or emotionally 24 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:39,200 unavailable parent, we will be told that what we are experiencing internally is not actually 25 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,000 accurate by a parent. 26 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,160 That's essentially what gaslighting is. 27 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:50,920 When you see something for what you believe that it is and somebody that you trust or 28 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:54,800 is close to you tells you that's not how it happened. 29 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,480 That's not what's really going on. 30 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,920 That is gaslighting you. 31 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:03,480 They're telling you that what your experience is is invalid. 32 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:08,960 So when you grow up with that, you learn how to question yourself. 33 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:14,320 You start to second guess what you see, what you're feeling and what you're experiencing. 34 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:20,000 Especially if you have, if there is a parent that runs any thread of narcissism, that's 35 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,680 going to be really, really, really right. 36 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,320 So in this mini-cast, I'm going to jump right in and tell you, here's some things to look 37 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,200 at when it comes to avoidance. 38 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:37,080 The pattern around this also, before I tell you that, is we will perfect, busy ourselves 39 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,720 to the nth degree to avoid looking at shit. 40 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:51,720 We will create personas, we will create structure, other jobs, 17 different businesses, 14 different 41 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:57,600 podcasts to avoid something that we just do not have the capacity to look at. 42 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:03,800 When you know better and you do not do better, you are locking in a program for yourself, 43 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,040 just FYI. 44 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:12,160 This is even for myself when I'm calling my friends and family higher. 45 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:16,600 If they know better and don't do better, I'm fresh out of sympathy over here then. 46 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:17,600 Nope. 47 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,680 If you're choosing that type of outcome for yourself, you're creating a big fat workaround 48 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,280 that doesn't help anybody. 49 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:32,360 So let's look at some of these patterns that contribute to the way we emotionally avoid. 50 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:36,880 First, through minimizing and distraction. 51 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:43,000 This is when we are suddenly overcome with an urge to get busy, shop, eat, drink, or 52 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,120 scroll. 53 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:50,980 We direct our attention away from what we feel inside, often automatically, honestly. 54 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:56,120 We may consciously do it or not, basically brush off vulnerable inner experiences as, 55 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,480 oh, it's no big deal. 56 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:58,680 It's fine. 57 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:05,920 We ignore and neglect our bodies, signs of stress, and may push our limits until we risk 58 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:09,200 exhaustion, burnout, depression, and physical illnesses. 59 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:17,560 If you are the type to also run a bit of self-materism and you will just move into guilt immediately, 60 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,800 that's another way that we self-avoid. 61 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,400 Another one is control and worry. 62 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:30,160 This is when, I will say often also, without meaning to do so, we reject ourselves in the 63 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,920 reality of our own vulnerability. 64 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,560 So we'll be feeling something really, really intense. 65 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,760 We will fear emotional exposure. 66 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:42,600 We will feel that fear of being emotionally exposed, and we will shut ourselves down. 67 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,280 We look for certainty. 68 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,760 That's how we're designed. 69 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,980 If you have fear of emotional exposure, you're going to look for certainty almost immediately. 70 00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:55,520 We will look for certainty and control in a world that offers neither. 71 00:04:55,520 --> 00:05:00,440 So constantly going back to places that are void of anything emotionally nurturing, picking 72 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:05,200 up baby crumbs and then making cookies out of it, making full meals and being like, oh, 73 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,200 okay, cool. 74 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,200 That's what I deserve. 75 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,160 It's another big one of how you emotionally avoid. 76 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,840 Another way is we will self-attack. 77 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:20,520 When you find yourself moving into self-criticism, like real, real hard, like deep state self-criticism, 78 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,960 that becomes deeply habitual as a tool. 79 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,960 So your brain is starting to learn. 80 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:33,400 If that is something that you scanned as a young child, you saw a parent that was hyper-critical, 81 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,760 you picked that up and now you take all of that inward. 82 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,960 That's how you speak to yourself. 83 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,840 That becomes habitual. 84 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,200 The brain learns that as a qualitative and quantitative experience, as a pattern, as a 85 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,200 condition. 86 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:51,960 And then goes, oh, okay, whenever I self-criticize, boop, or whenever I'm afraid of something, 87 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,040 I'm just going to reach for self-criticism. 88 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,040 That feels good. 89 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,240 Let's do that. 90 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:02,920 So look out for that because, for example, you tell yourself if that you tried harder 91 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:07,320 or were smarter or were a better person or were more lovable or you shouldn't have done 92 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:13,720 that or were more attractive or not as gullible or more patient or acted sooner, things would 93 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,580 have gone better. 94 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:20,960 These lies create a harsh inner environment that can lead to just flattened emotional 95 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:25,680 experiences, low self-worth and honestly, depression. 96 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:29,400 The next one is we emotionally masquerade. 97 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:35,920 If it looks like sadness and walks like sadness and talks like sadness, it's sadness. 98 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,320 No, not necessarily true. 99 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,440 Sometimes other feelings are employed to remove you from pain. 100 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:48,120 So if anger was not okay in your childhood, for example, or your childhood environment, 101 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:52,720 you may get weepy and look sad when you get into an argument with your partner. 102 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:58,160 If sadness was regarded as weak, you may appear angry or push people away when you feel sad. 103 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:02,600 You may feel guilty when you feel angry towards someone you care about. 104 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:10,720 These like faux feelings can keep you stuck if you don't access the emotions underneath. 105 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:17,960 While masquerading essentially looks like you're creating a bifurcation of an emotion. 106 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,000 So feelings and emotions, I want to talk about that really fast too because I think people 107 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,160 get these two things confused. 108 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:31,520 Feelings accommodate conditions and emotions accommodate the patterns that contributed 109 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,160 to the conditions. 110 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,760 So that is a way that we create workarounds. 111 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:41,040 We conflate feelings and emotions thinking they're the same thing, but they absolutely 112 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,040 are not. 113 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,240 So if I look at feelings, they're fleeting. 114 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,600 They accommodate the condition. 115 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,520 Emotions accommodate the program that's running. 116 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,240 So it's a structure. 117 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:57,880 So one is structural, like the pattern, and then you have the emotion that's the system 118 00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,600 that is accommodating the pattern. 119 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:03,760 And then you have the feelings which would be like an affect. 120 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:10,600 It's getting you curious to look at the emotion that is driving that because really there's 121 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:11,600 only five. 122 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,600 There's very few emotions that drive human behavior. 123 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,000 There's loads and loads of feelings about all the things. 124 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,560 Feelings is a perception. 125 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,480 It's perception based. 126 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:26,680 Emotions create more of like the system, again, that support the programs that are running 127 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,840 or the core patterns. 128 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:33,080 So it's patterns, emotions, feelings. 129 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,480 One is structural, the other is operational. 130 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,960 The last part is perceptual. 131 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:45,640 So keep that in mind when it comes to starting to understand a bit more of how you gaslight 132 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:46,980 yourself. 133 00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:50,240 We have been taught not to trust ourselves. 134 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:56,960 That self-trust muscle is deeply, deeply atrophied in most of the clients that I work with. 135 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:03,040 To mitigate that atrophy, that self-gaslighting, that lack of self-trust, to mitigate self-trust, 136 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:09,400 some of those affects, we have to step into contrary action and back ourselves up really, 137 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,800 really, really hard. 138 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:16,000 So if you have a feeling or you have a knowing or you have an instinct and an intuition, 139 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,920 you have to back it up and go with it. 140 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:23,000 The moment you have the intuition and you do the opposite, it's a way of self-avoiding 141 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,000 something. 142 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:29,400 I know this can become a bit of an extreme sport, but that I promise you is going to 143 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:38,000 start building incredible levels of self-esteem and self affinity and self love and confidence. 144 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,720 All these things that we may or may not have gotten when we were younger, right? 145 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,320 Unmeant needs, emotional conditioning, these kinds of things. 146 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:49,640 All right, y'all, if you want to dive a bit deeper and start breaking some patterns around 147 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:54,200 this, join the Awakening series or the Super Freaky Yogas where we integrate a lot of the 148 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,000 work that you guys have been doing into the body space. 149 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,960 In the meantime, I will see you guys in the comment section, DMs, emails, and sessions, 150 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:01,960 and on other cast. 151 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:02,960 Ciao. 152 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,720 Thanks so much for listening, you guys. 153 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,240 Please make sure to leave a review and follow the fun on social media because that's how 154 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,240 it works in this world. 155 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,920 And in the meantime, get your freak on. 156 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:28,000 I'll see you in the next session.