Hey, Big Love Fam, welcome to Super Freak.
This is a high vibe podcast, y'all, exploring all things frequencies, how they govern form,
shape our realities, and are the key to living from your full potential.
It's non-moo combos about Super Roo shit, unpacking what I call the science of self.
From body and soul literacy to the power of understanding vibration, higher consciousness,
quantum physics, and spiritual psych, let this podcast become a resource for you on
your journey to self mastery.
If you're curious and ready to free your mind, unlock the body, and truly become limitless,
then you're in the right place.
I'm your host, Tali.
This is Super Freak, awakening for the next gen.
Let's go.
All right, everybody, going to jump right into how we basically create workarounds.
Self avoidance and self gaslighting.
How does this actually happen?
Where is this coming from?
And how do we navigate it?
What are some of the signs that we can look for when it comes to gaslighting and avoidance?
This is coming off of some content that you guys are sending to me, tagging me on, or through
conversations in the DMs.
And what I've been noticing in sessions is self gaslighting and avoidance.
So let me talk about what those patterns are.
When we are raised with any type of dynamic around emotional immaturity or emotionally
unavailable parent, we will be told that what we are experiencing internally is not actually
accurate by a parent.
That's essentially what gaslighting is.
When you see something for what you believe that it is and somebody that you trust or
is close to you tells you that's not how it happened.
That's not what's really going on.
That is gaslighting you.
They're telling you that what your experience is is invalid.
So when you grow up with that, you learn how to question yourself.
You start to second guess what you see, what you're feeling and what you're experiencing.
Especially if you have, if there is a parent that runs any thread of narcissism, that's
going to be really, really, really right.
So in this mini-cast, I'm going to jump right in and tell you, here's some things to look
at when it comes to avoidance.
The pattern around this also, before I tell you that, is we will perfect, busy ourselves
to the nth degree to avoid looking at shit.
We will create personas, we will create structure, other jobs, 17 different businesses, 14 different
podcasts to avoid something that we just do not have the capacity to look at.
When you know better and you do not do better, you are locking in a program for yourself,
just FYI.
This is even for myself when I'm calling my friends and family higher.
If they know better and don't do better, I'm fresh out of sympathy over here then.
Nope.
If you're choosing that type of outcome for yourself, you're creating a big fat workaround
that doesn't help anybody.
So let's look at some of these patterns that contribute to the way we emotionally avoid.
First, through minimizing and distraction.
This is when we are suddenly overcome with an urge to get busy, shop, eat, drink, or
scroll.
We direct our attention away from what we feel inside, often automatically, honestly.
We may consciously do it or not, basically brush off vulnerable inner experiences as,
oh, it's no big deal.
It's fine.
We ignore and neglect our bodies, signs of stress, and may push our limits until we risk
exhaustion, burnout, depression, and physical illnesses.
If you are the type to also run a bit of self-materism and you will just move into guilt immediately,
that's another way that we self-avoid.
Another one is control and worry.
This is when, I will say often also, without meaning to do so, we reject ourselves in the
reality of our own vulnerability.
So we'll be feeling something really, really intense.
We will fear emotional exposure.
We will feel that fear of being emotionally exposed, and we will shut ourselves down.
We look for certainty.
That's how we're designed.
If you have fear of emotional exposure, you're going to look for certainty almost immediately.
We will look for certainty and control in a world that offers neither.
So constantly going back to places that are void of anything emotionally nurturing, picking
up baby crumbs and then making cookies out of it, making full meals and being like, oh,
okay, cool.
That's what I deserve.
It's another big one of how you emotionally avoid.
Another way is we will self-attack.
When you find yourself moving into self-criticism, like real, real hard, like deep state self-criticism,
that becomes deeply habitual as a tool.
So your brain is starting to learn.
If that is something that you scanned as a young child, you saw a parent that was hyper-critical,
you picked that up and now you take all of that inward.
That's how you speak to yourself.
That becomes habitual.
The brain learns that as a qualitative and quantitative experience, as a pattern, as a
condition.
And then goes, oh, okay, whenever I self-criticize, boop, or whenever I'm afraid of something,
I'm just going to reach for self-criticism.
That feels good.
Let's do that.
So look out for that because, for example, you tell yourself if that you tried harder
or were smarter or were a better person or were more lovable or you shouldn't have done
that or were more attractive or not as gullible or more patient or acted sooner, things would
have gone better.
These lies create a harsh inner environment that can lead to just flattened emotional
experiences, low self-worth and honestly, depression.
The next one is we emotionally masquerade.
If it looks like sadness and walks like sadness and talks like sadness, it's sadness.
No, not necessarily true.
Sometimes other feelings are employed to remove you from pain.
So if anger was not okay in your childhood, for example, or your childhood environment,
you may get weepy and look sad when you get into an argument with your partner.
If sadness was regarded as weak, you may appear angry or push people away when you feel sad.
You may feel guilty when you feel angry towards someone you care about.
These like faux feelings can keep you stuck if you don't access the emotions underneath.
While masquerading essentially looks like you're creating a bifurcation of an emotion.
So feelings and emotions, I want to talk about that really fast too because I think people
get these two things confused.
Feelings accommodate conditions and emotions accommodate the patterns that contributed
to the conditions.
So that is a way that we create workarounds.
We conflate feelings and emotions thinking they're the same thing, but they absolutely
are not.
So if I look at feelings, they're fleeting.
They accommodate the condition.
Emotions accommodate the program that's running.
So it's a structure.
So one is structural, like the pattern, and then you have the emotion that's the system
that is accommodating the pattern.
And then you have the feelings which would be like an affect.
It's getting you curious to look at the emotion that is driving that because really there's
only five.
There's very few emotions that drive human behavior.
There's loads and loads of feelings about all the things.
Feelings is a perception.
It's perception based.
Emotions create more of like the system, again, that support the programs that are running
or the core patterns.
So it's patterns, emotions, feelings.
One is structural, the other is operational.
The last part is perceptual.
So keep that in mind when it comes to starting to understand a bit more of how you gaslight
yourself.
We have been taught not to trust ourselves.
That self-trust muscle is deeply, deeply atrophied in most of the clients that I work with.
To mitigate that atrophy, that self-gaslighting, that lack of self-trust, to mitigate self-trust,
some of those affects, we have to step into contrary action and back ourselves up really,
really, really hard.
So if you have a feeling or you have a knowing or you have an instinct and an intuition,
you have to back it up and go with it.
The moment you have the intuition and you do the opposite, it's a way of self-avoiding
something.
I know this can become a bit of an extreme sport, but that I promise you is going to
start building incredible levels of self-esteem and self affinity and self love and confidence.
All these things that we may or may not have gotten when we were younger, right?
Unmeant needs, emotional conditioning, these kinds of things.
All right, y'all, if you want to dive a bit deeper and start breaking some patterns around
this, join the Awakening series or the Super Freaky Yogas where we integrate a lot of the
work that you guys have been doing into the body space.
In the meantime, I will see you guys in the comment section, DMs, emails, and sessions,
and on other cast.
Ciao.
Thanks so much for listening, you guys.
Please make sure to leave a review and follow the fun on social media because that's how
it works in this world.
And in the meantime, get your freak on.
I'll see you in the next session.