Oh crumb's, Invisible Ears, Tagk here. Things are not going well. It looks like Nix has
wandered off in the night. I've been tracking him through the woods for the last couple
of hours. Surely he's not at another wild magic surge?! That'd be three in one day! But
he did say they could happen at any time and anything could happen. Just look at these
tracks. He's been trampling backwards and forwards, see? And look at these pine cones
hanging by strings from the trees. Did he do that? Was he trying to cast some kind of
magic spell of protection? If it wasn't him who was it? Because then there's this goblin
shaped heap of wood. Look at those spindly twigs lashed together. Don't they look like
Nix's mechanical arm? And look at those sweeping fir branches. Don't they look like Nix's
long coat of many pockets? And look at this gnarly knotty lump of wood that was placed
on top of the shoulders. Doesn't it look like his head's fallen off? Oh, crumbs. What's
am I going to D&D doodoo?
This view is just like beautiful. Don't get this in the dungeons.
Has Nix heard of karma?
He's all for it.
You run your toes into this loose earth, it just slips between your toes and you reach behind
your ear, pluck another mushroom, pop it into your mouth and chew blissfully. Suddenly you
feel something bite your toe.
Oh! What the... bleedin' 'eck!
And you pull back quickly, pull your toe out and the soil sort of falls in on itself and
you peer forward and there's a little face peering back at you.
Oh right, who are you?
It sort of chitters at you a little bit, sort of chitters and squeaks.
I'll give it a little, I'll do a little squeak.
Oh right, you want me to talk Common, do you?
Well yeah, I wish I knew your language though. I thought I'd give it a little go.
Not a bad accent. Um... what are you doing?
I'm looking for a friend of mine. He's a kobold. I got separated from him last night. We had
a camp deeper into the woods. I'm Nix by the way.
Oh, hello. Are you one of them two frogs from the south, aren't you?
Yeah I am.
I've heard about you. I thought you were a big mushroom. You really smell of mushrooms.
Yeah I'm very mushroomy. Thank you very much. It's a very kind thing to say.
That's all right.
Yeah I got separated from my friend and our ponies and we had a camp deeper into
the woods but I woke up and I didn't know where I was. I'd just gone on a bit of a
wander so you could you could like think I'm a little bit lost in the woods but not really
lost at all.
You had a bit of a... wonder?
Yeah, I was walking around the woods not really knowing where I was going.
You had a walk around the woods?
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah... do you like the woods?
They smell great. They smell really good. I think I'm gonna go and get some breakfast.
Do you want some?
Yeah what are you having for breakfast?
Craggots.
Sorry?
Craggot. Craggots from the craggot field.
Craggots.
I'll tell you what though: you've got to watch out for the farmer though. Watch out for the farmer.
Is he not a good sort?
No, she's a nasty piece of work, she'll 'ave you. But you've got some good craggots just this way.
I don't think I've ever had craggots before. Maybe can I just postpone the breakfast for
like an hour or so and maybe I'll get back at you.
Yeah that's fine.
Alright cool.
Alright then.
Yeah what's your name?
My name's Fiffa
Fiffa?
Fiffa.
Fiffa
Yes pleased to meet you.
Good to meet you.
She's got, she looks like a big mole, small eyes and a big sort of scooping front tooth.
It's like a spade.
Yeah.
And you see her head and neck peering up through the little hole.
Oh she looks great.
You can't see any ears. She's having trouble hearing you.
Yeah.
And she's also got very small squinty eyes. She's used to burrowing around.
Got ya.
Would you want me to get some food from the woods to bring for the breakfast? It'll probably
be like more of a late brunch you know.
Oh that sounds good. What sort of thing are you thinking of?
Well I could get some like berries.
Nice.
Yeah you like berries.
Yeah nice.
Alright.
And a bit of mushrooms.
You like mushrooms?
I love mushrooms.
Alright.
Yeah yeah I'll get you some mushrooms.
Quite like toes too.
Yeah I noticed. Thanks for that.
Got a right little nip. Is that how you say hello?
I thought you were a strange mushroom, so I just thought I'd give you a
little nibble to see.
Thanks very much. I am a bit of a strange mushroom. Thanks.
I'll see you soon. Hopefully I'll go and find my friend now and yeah I'll bring them back
and I'll introduce ya.
Who's your friend?
They're called Tagk.
Tagk?
Yeah they're a kobold. You can give them a nibble too if you like.
Oh. Do they taste the mushrooms?
Nah I don't think so.
Yeah okay.
But you know you can be the judge of it.
Okay.
How's your hearing underground? Can you like pick up vibrations and that?
Oh yeah yeah yeah but I think as well...
She just sticks her head out again and has a really good...
I don't know there's a funny smell coming from the orchard.
Oh really? Okay.
Yeah it's just something a little bit het up.
Right.
A little bit stressed.
Oh alright.
Yeah.
Oh man. You can smell stress can ya?
Oh, yeah. Loud and clear.
Well that could be Tagk.
It's very fizzy. Very fizzy smell.
Fizzy?
Fizzy.
Alright.
Yeah very fizzy.
Well yeah I'll keep my ears open.
Alright.
And I'll let you know if I see anything.
But watch out for the farmer.
Yeah I will.
Watch out.
I'll keep my goblin peepers open for them.
Alright then. I'll see you soon.
Alright. Where do I meet ya anyway? Shall I just like stick my head in this tunnel and give you a whistle?
Yeah or give me a stomp.
Yeah I'll give you a stomp.
Give me a stomp on the ground.
Yeah.
I come find you.
I'll do a little goblin dance.
So I'll do one for you now.
So I'm gonna do this sort of thing.
Ba da ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.
He throws some shapes.
Do you want to do a performance check?
Oh yeah. Check out me moves.
Oh!
It's a 19.
That feels great.
The vibrations are good.
Oh great. That's good to hear.
Right then. I'm off.
Alright. I'll catch you later... Fuff.
Fiffa
And she does a little somersault.
Burrows down.
Cheers Fiffa.
She's off and away.
Let's see what Tagk's up to.
So Tagk is still in the clearing.
He's looking in great distress at what he thinks are the discombobulated remains of a Nix who's been turned into wood.
Okay. Let's see.
And he takes out his notebook.
Things I could do. I could run away. No. I'll just put it on the list and then it's there.
I could run away.
I could gather Nix up and bring him with me.
I could stay here and wait for him to...for the magic to wear off and he might turn back.
I think that's it really.
And there's a hoot in the trees as the owl returns to go back to roost.
And Tagk jumps. No. I can't stay here. Right.
He shrugs off his rucksack and he opens it up.
I think a long time ago Tagk talked about how his rucksack was actually a parachute? Yes.
That he'd folded... that his mums had made him.
And it all sort of folded up on itself and made this little rucksack.
So he opens it up and it's like a big parachute.
Beautiful stitching. Beautiful sort of embroidery around the edges. Real elegance.
And little motivational quotes embroidered on.
You know, like 'Don't look down!'
and 'It's not going to get much better so look on the bright side now.' All that sort of thing.
Hands on his hips. Right.
And he meticulously makes...he lifts each piece of the Nix effigy and lays it in the parachute
and records what order they went in so that he can put you back together in the right order.
OK. And then he ties it all up.
He tries to attach it to the pony but it's all lumpen and everything.
So in the end he just makes do by having it sort of trails off behind and the pony drags it along.
Right. We're done. Right. Ermintrude, hang on.
Puts his notebook away. Takes out the Hide and Seeker gem.
Hide and seeker gem again.
Checks the signal and goes right this way.
And he heads on through the woods. The trees are starting to thin out a little.
Is he following along the path that I've been making behind me?
No he's not. He's starting to peel off a little bit now.
OK. Cool. Not that you know.
No. I know nothing.
I'm just finishing off my little jig.
I've probably got a little bit too into it you know.
Oh what was I doing? Yeah. All right. Tack.
Oh blimey.
Right I'm going to do... I'm going to just sort of go back into the woods a little and just try and do another Message.
So I'm going to get my little copper rod and insert it into my claw again.
Stick my finger... one of my talons up in the air and sort of wiggle it around just like connecting to the magical frequencies.
Yeah. And then go.
Hello. Oi. Tagk. Wakey wakey eggs and bakey. Are you out there?
Let's roll to see if you're successful. Cool.
Could I use one of my.... so get my sorcery points. Could I use one of those to sort of boost the signal?
Because usually you can use it to create a spell slot. But if I could put it into Message?
Yeah. Try and heighten the effects.
Well, let's say if you get six or higher you're successful.
Great. Plus four...
Twelve. Right.
Hello Tagk. It's time to wake up.
Nix?! Tagk is just going to... He pulls on the reins and he looks back at the pile of sticks.
Nix?! And he jumps off Ermintrude, runs over and he starts scrabbling in the wood pile.
Nix, are you alright? Have you changed back? No! Are you OK?
What are you going on about?
I'm so sorry your head's fallen off.
Has it? No. No.
Why? How are you talking? Where's your mouth?
Well I'm...
Have you done this on purpose?
Just give us a moment. Just calm down alright. I'm fine.
You don't sound very good.
I've had one of the worst nights in living history.
Oh my word. You know you look quite peaceful when you went to sleep.
You just lulled me into a false sense of security. Where are you? How are you talking?
Well I'm using my claw. I'm using a bit of magic.
What this? And he grabs the bit of spindly twig.
This claw? Right. You're this pile of wood aren't you?
What? No. What pile of wood?
I found the goblin in the woods and it looked like you.
I brought it very carefully with me.
Oh dear. Why are you laughing?
He is quite a fetching fellow that big pile of wood.
No that's not me. I just made that to like... you know, 'Oh, I've been here...'
I'm gonna kill you!
Alright.
Well... we've got some firewood now, haven't we?
He starts kicking bits of wood about
Oh dear.
No. I'm fine.
Where are you?
Well I'm at the edge of the woods and there's like a farm.
Where I am? I've left the woods.
Alright.
I'm in an orchard.
Got you. Alright then. Yeah I'll er.
Because did Fiffa point out the orchard? Would I know which?
Yeah the orchard is the direction that she said there was something that sounded very stressed.
Yes. Yeah. Cool.
Right yeah I've got a sense of where you are now.
Great alright.
Alright I'll start heading your way.
Right okay I'll see you in a bit.
See you soon. Sorry.