Well if it isn't my favourite podlings, grab yourselves a bowl and a spot by the fire,
it's dinner time!
Now we had a little mishap last time where the cooking was concerned.
It was because of me but I wouldn't say it was my fault.
It's a very important difference wouldn't you say?
If something's your fault I think it means it happened because you meant it to, you knew
it would happen and then you did it.
Is that fair?
What happened was I was seeing if I could fix my claw but I didn't realise just how
brim tip top full of magic I still was.
So me tinkering with the magical mechanics brought on another wild magic surge, a bit
like how playing with Perfefa brings on the sneezes.
But this was a big explosion of chaotic elemental energy.
Now I've always had them, these surges.
Sometimes they come out of nowhere and sometimes I can feel them brewing but one thing they
always are is unpredictable.
This time the surge sent our campfire flames shooting high into the air like a big belch
of fiery dragon's breath.
It soon died down but not before burning the stew and I'm sorry to say tack a bit too.
It was more cross than hurt thankfully and lucky for me when I said about how I couldn't
help it it was alright about it.
People aren't always that understanding let me tell ya.
Still I'm going to be extra especially attentive to tack this evening.
I mean I'd say it's the least I can D&D doo doo.
Right it's dinner time.
Yes.
Buckle up.
My stomach is scrambling.
Right well buckle up because.
Here.
Here gives you a bowl.
Thanks.
This is really good for the constitution you know.
Right.
Don't put any in yet.
Alright.
I'm curious about what the side effects of such a meal might be.
Just I can't help it.
It's like the tinkerer in me.
Just like let's make a little mental hypothesis.
We'll see.
Have you got a mental hypothesis?
Yeah.
Well do you want to put a coin on it who can withstand the...
Alright.
...Withstand the cook.
So have I got any coins?
Of course I do.
I've got all these.
I've got this massive bag of them.
Well you can have one.
What have I got?
I'll have a little root around.
I don't have any gold.
You can put a cog on it if you want.
I'll put two silver on it.
Alright.
I've put this clove of garlic on it.
I've got a little bit of a
I think this is going to be a difficult meal.
Right.
Right I think this is going to go down a treat -
Slip down the hole.
Can edit that if you want.
And he gets a big ladle full and puts it into your bowl.
Oh lovely.
I've got the head as well.
The fish head.
Oh yeah make sure that he gets.
Yes.
That he gets rather blackened and shriveled and the eye sockets are sunken now.
Yeah.
No eyeball left.
Yeah.
Yeah I might have to do a little infusion.
A digestive one to help things along.
But it might not be the case that we need to help things along.
It might be the opposite.
That we need to help things kind of stay where they are.
If you want to roll perception.
OK perception is plus one.
Three.
OK so yeah.
Nix tucks in.
Alright I'm going for it.
OK so if you now want to roll constitution.
What you're not aware of is the fact that Tagk is not eating.
He's just watching you with an inscrutable look.
Sort of half expectant half fearful and another half of like slightly cheesed off.
Right so what am I rolling?
Constitution I think.
Right.
Or maybe it should be survival.
We'll do constitution for this one.
Alright plus three.
Seven.
The dice tell their story.
As Tagk predicted it is not an easy meal.
Yeah.
The flavours are... bold.
Unexpected.
And there are also interesting textural elements including quite a lot of ash from when the
flames died down and quite a lot of the interior surfaces of the pan itself were all making
its way in.
Yeah but you know you're troughing in.
Yeah oh oh OK.
Yeah yeah yeah alright.
How's that then?
Is that good?
Oh wait.
Would you like some more?
Have some more!
That, wait... crunch.
Oh, got past that bit.
Still going.
I don't think this is wise at all.
I would expect you to get the better bit of the portion.
It would be fair.
I'm not sure I'm very hungry.
Nix is just going to lay back on the log behind him and just like I think he's sweating a
little bit.
Nix went and got some mushrooms didn't he?
Yeah Nix was doing the rounds and he might have found some berries and some mushrooms.
So there's some nice sides.
Yeah, I think... here's two silver.
Thank you very much.
And drops them into his little pouch.
That's another two to go when we find my stash.
There you go.
The stars are coming out look.
Oh yeah.
I think Tagk is going to start digging out a little depression in the ground.
He likes to have a little bit of a hollow to sleep in.
I can't say I feel mightily full so I'll have to make tonight comfortable in a different
way.
Yeah.
Look I can see very clearly cooking is like you know it's something that you've got like
skills in.
I respect that.
And I am like I am sorry that I absolutely stuffed that up.
Because I mean if I was like doing me claw and you just like came over and kicked like
a big mound of dust while I was like tinkering away.
You know I would I'd be pretty miffed.
So I think it's important you know I feel like I've got a bit of goblin honour you know
I'm not, I'm not above it.
Tagk reaches into his seasoning pouch and he passes you a little tuft of of a green
plant and he you know gives you a little smile.
Have a chew on that.
It's it's like a herb a little bit like a parsley type thing.
It'll help it'll help it go down.
I'm not really cross.
Yeah no I like cooking.
I wouldn't say I love it.
I just think it's important.
Thank you for the green fluff.
I like throws it up into the air like a piece of popcorn.
Don't swallow it just keep chewing it.
Suck all the juice out.
That'll help.
Oh that's good.
Yeah you feel some of the the uncertainty within your system your digestive system just
ease a little bit.
Okay.
Yeah.
Nix was on like an amber alert to rush off into the woods.
But I think he's sort of he's settled a bit more.
You know there is the what would you call it like the culinary issues of the meal but
I think more than that it's the fact that the whole pot was surrounded by this surge
of magical energy so it's kind of infused with with magic as well you see.
So that is an interesting thing for your stomach to be dealing with as a meal.
Yeah.
Maybe that's something to work on in the future.
Sort of like a magical infusion.
Oh I never thought of that.
He's going to get out his little notebook.
That's really interesting.
So I'm finding that like within my tummy it's unsettling for sure.
Oh yeah.
It's got some sort of magical properties.
So maybe you know at some point we could sort of do a bit of sharing or I could lend a bit
of my magic to your cooking and we could make something special up.
Oh that's interesting.
We could continue to look for ways to combine the effects of the ingredients with the magic.
Nice.
Yeah.
Just let me know if one of those things is going to happen if you can.
Just give me a heads up.
I will try my utmost.
And I'll get my chainmail sweater on.
I think Nix is getting nice and comfy by the fire.
He's got like a few nice mossy logs to create a bit of a chair for himself.
And he's got his long coat.
Oh yeah.
It's sort of patchwork of different fabrics and he's probably used it for many years just
to like sleep under as a blanket.
But now he's wearing it and it's you know it's been burnt at the edges and it's been
singed and it's been patched up.
Yeah yeah he likes it.
It brings him comfort.
Yeah.
I'm picturing this human proportioned coat that comes down all the way to trail
on the ground because of its length.
Yeah yeah absolutely.
So really.
You know it's a bit of a like a train.
Yeah.
Comes behind him and that's like worn down.
It's got rips and tears and he's just had like other pockets sort of sewn in all around
like on the inside to keep various bits and bobs and his tinkering tools.
So yeah he's just sort of gathering that up around him.
Getting comfy now.
Oh yeah it's been a long day.
Like you know in the battle back there and I know it's been a slippy day for you.
But yeah your sword skills!.
I was very impressed!
It was very poetic I guess.
But yeah that's something like you were dancing and you were sort of like... a beautiful balance.
Quite a bit of screaming.
Charging.
Running backwards and forwards.
Was that not part of the like tactics?
Oh my tactics.
Tagk tactics.
Yes absolutely.
Running away is part of what we're trained in when we're doing our military service.
Yeah yeah it's like zoom in and attack and like feign ,.. and sort of like faint -
- Just literally faint.
That's a very useful skill.
You just faint when you wake up.
Everything's moved on if you're lucky.
Yeah well you see I'll let you into a secret.
It was one of my better classes in kobald school because we all have to go into like
military service for a couple of years when we're growing up.
Blimey.
I know it's part of the deal being a kobald back in... where do I live?
You live...
It's Ka'drik.
Ka'drik.
That's the island.
Just one moment.
Meraki?
No.
We're on Meraki
That's not the actual...
Is it not?
Da'dikka
Don't laugh.
That's where I live.
No I'm not laughing.
What's wrong?
It was the speed at which you delivered the line.
It made me chuckle.
Well because I come from Da'dikka and yeah part of the arrangement we have with Bathanax
is that all koblds have to do military service so that should any adventurers come to steal
Bathanax's stash that's when we have to step in to be the first line of defence.
So yeah so I had to do... what do you call it?
What do you call it when you... swordsmanship.
So I wasn't so good on the theory.
So the thing is I'm just not interested.
I'm not interested.
I don't really want to go and be in a battle or all the rest of it but I did really enjoy
the classes because we had these straw adventurers.
Yeah.
We'd have one that looked like a big barbarian and he was stuffed full of flour.
He was like a big lump.
Big bruiser.
Yeah and we'd put him on a little rolly thing so he could move around and we'd have to practice
our moves and then we'd have the fighters who were stuffed with straw and we had these
little smaller ones as well to be other kobalds and we'd have to you know practice our moves
and we'd have this one where you'd attack it and it would swing round and its other
arm would swing round and bring this bag of flour at your head and you had to get out
the way.
Oh right.
So I really liked it.
But see the good thing was that it was like we were just going for these dummies, these
mannequins and it's like I had to kind of like not do too well because if I did too
well then they'd go and they'd put me in the militia when it's time for me to get my job.
They'd put me in the militia and I don't really want to do that so I just tried to keep my
head down really.
Yeah so you had to like put your talents under a thorny bush and hide them away a bit.
Yeah I got brought out to the front of the class at one point to demonstrate how to do
something and it was that moment when I realised I needed to do something different because
a teacher said carry on this way young kobald you'll be a captain one day and I was like
oh.
So from that point on I was really careful to do well enough not to get detention but
not to do so well that they'd put me in the militia.
Yeah it is.
So.
Yeah it's a tricky line.
I find your culture you know it's very fascinating.
It's so different from the swamp you know.
I'm not good at like so many things but there's particular things which and this goes with
like a lot of goblins you know we sort of what we're passionate about we're allowed
to pursue so we're not forced into any like regimented yeah yeah it doesn't it doesn't
work for our culture at all.
Well we're allowed to pursue it just as long as we've done everything else we're supposed
to do.
Mind you there is always something else that we're supposed to be doing so it is hard to
do the thing that we really want to do.
Well what is it what is it that you enjoy?
What makes your scales tingle?
As you say this he suddenly kind of... it brings him up short and he and he falls silent and
he's in his brow furrows and he's like well no one's ever asked me that before.
Well there's lots of things I'm sure there's...
Anyway how's your stomach? And you can tell that he's like he's gone as far as ... it's brought
him up short yeah yeah.
I think Nix is curious and as much as his mind is sort of racing to push
a little bit further I think he's going to recognise that it's been a day so
he's just he's going to leave it there and he's just going to wrap himself up a little
bit more.
'It's beautiful up there check out those stars!' - letting Tagk off the hook.
Yeah Tagk's okay, he just goes very thoughtful and the opportunity to just snuggle up in
his hole that he's made for himself and look up at the stars is actually really welcoming
you see his eyes are starting to droop he's tired.
Let's check in with how Nix is doing now.
What was the herb from Tagk? Thhe sort of the mossy...
Yeah it was parsage.
Parsage, nice. I think now that he's chewed that and I think he's settled. His mind's still
racing so he's just he's just sort of like mulling over the day he's just enjoying like
the crackle of the fire and he's also he's like looking at the the small collection of
elemental rocks and he's thought about trying to communicate with them but he's not much.
I think you noticed that as Tagk gets more and more relaxed the boulder and the five
little stones just edge closer and closer because they're gauging that they can you
know he's not going to knock them or shoo them away and as Tagk's eyes fully
close the boulder and the little stones just insinuate themselves under Tagk's ankle and
all the little pebbles arrange themselves on top.
That's awesome. Nix just has a little smile to himself and he's just gonna look into the
fire and and think about the day.
All right so you're gazing into the fire and you're watching all the sparks starting
and it crackles away and the sparks go up into the air tumbling and spinning higher
these little orange flecks of light that draw your eyes up to the stars and the stars are
shining with this colder bluer light and it's very very beautiful it's a mostly clear night
and you can see all the stars scattered through the gap in the canopy where your clearing is
and the more you look at the stars the more stars you see it's like as your eyes adjust
and the more you watch the stars unhook from the sky and having done so start to move.
You have a sense that this is in part due to the wild magic surge and also the magically
infused stew something's starting to happen something that you recognize and you think
oh it's happening again.
All right what's going on here then like everything else is just like background now just fades
away.
You're starting to become weightless up and up you go leaving your campfire with Tagk and
the boulder and the little stones they're far below you can see them getting smaller
and smaller until it's just this little orange speck and the higher you go the more you start
to remember you're heading to the Above and Beyond and this is a magical place that you
visited many times before so the Above and Beyond is many things and you could describe
it as a dream state where different beings can share each other's dreams.
Everything flips and up and down seem to have changed places you settle next to this other
campfire and you see next to you is the boulder.
It's kind of outlined in a white blue moonlight it's definitely the boulder and you know if
you reached out to touch it it would feel it would feel solid.
If you think the boulder might be dreaming or maybe it's you that's dreaming and the
dream seems to be to do with being very low to the ground with something solid and heavy
above you.
It doesn't weigh you down it's more that it keeps you close and you have a sense of being
one of quite a few all of you being kept close a whole of many parts.
You feel always ready to hold things strongly up and you're always ready to move, this is
a big one, in fact if anything the only thing that stops you moving is this whole of many
parts above and next to you.
It holds you in place but not as a prisoner but all the same you do have a sensation of
frustration and impatience you just want to move and get out there and then it's like
you know when you're having a dream and it sort of slides to another event or another
place and you think you're remembering a particular day and it's the day when it all changed: Some
rope drops around you and pulls tight, it's really confusing you can't move as normal
and you feel off balance and then you connect that sensation to when you saw kobolds hurling
rope lassoes at the stone elemental.
I think that memory completely fits.
I think Nix is fighting, he's feeling trapped.
Yeah yeah and then comes the strangest sensation of all: Something gets severed and there's
nothing to hold you back anymore you feel lighter and full of energy there's nothing
to stop you doing one of the things you were meant to do which is keep moving and you can
go so much faster now and off you go!
He's just racing!
You do exactly what it is you want.
Nothing's gonna stop me!
Yeah you feel like you can feel yourself tumbling across the land but it's not just you there's
five little ones are coming too. They follow behind all higgledy piggledy trying to keep
up and you love it, it's like a game of tag and it goes on.
Come on you lot.
They all tumble after and this chase this game of tag goes on for a long long time at
least days and days probably weeks and maybe even months but there's a slow and creeping
change...
You start to realize that as much as you started off loving all this movement you can't actually
seem to stop now because the whole of many parts isn't there to hold you and for the
first time you remember how nice it was to be held and part of something bigger and the
five little ones are following you and they're looking to you to show them the way and that
was never your job before and you don't know how to do it.
For the first time you roll to a stop and in your throat, Nix, you gulp.
Give us a gulp.