Thank you for listening to this message from
Lifehouse Church. I get to hang out with our
families of the littlest babies all the way up
to our high schools and seniors, even our graduating
seniors that are soon to be leaving us small
tier. And now, as you can probably see, there
is an empty space up in the front and the office
is very lonely. So if anybody wants to hang out
with me this week, come stop in. But Pastor Kip
and Dixie were just recently on a much well -earned
vacation, and now they're actually in Orlando,
Florida. They are preparing this week. They are
at the Church of God's General Assembly. So it's
a conference that the Church of God does every
two years. So they're down there for that, and
they will be, in fact, here next week. But this
morning, we are going to continue down through
our What to Do, What to Do series that Pastor
Kip has been starting over the last couple weeks.
And I'm going to talk about everyone's favorite
subject. Ready? Conflict. I know. I really wish
it would have just like magically appeared above
my head. But listen, if that makes you tense
to kind of like, you know, clench your fists
and unfurl your brows, we're going to talk about
conflict, but we're going to talk about what
Jesus tells us to do with it. So if you would,
bow your heads. We're going to pray over this
morning. Heavenly Father, God, we thank you for
this morning. We thank you that we have the air
in our lungs to be able to come here, to be able
to worship as a church family. Father, we thank
you that you are in and amongst our midst. And
this morning we pray that as we... Listen to
the message as I prepare to give this message.
Father, let it not be my words that are spoken,
but yours through me. As you've been pouring
things into me, God, I just pray that you are
the one that is seen, that is heard in and above
all things, that your will be accomplished, that
all hearts and minds be open and ready to receive
whatever it is that you have for them this morning.
Father, we just thank you again, and we just
give this morning to you. In Jesus' name we pray,
amen. So before I stepped into ministry, I actually
served a season as an elementary school teacher.
So during COVID or a little bit after COVID,
I served for about four months every single day
as an elementary music teacher. If you saw that
little emoji thing that we did a couple weeks
ago, you might have learned that I played the
saxophone for eight years. And so I have a little
bit of music in my background. But anyways, I
had kindergartners through fifth grade every
single day. for weeks on end. And the one thing
that I learned super, super quickly is that before
anything could be taught, the room had to get
settled. Nobody learns in chaos. And the same
is true for us spiritually. When things stay
unsettled in our hearts, they start affecting
everything around us. This morning, our key verse
is going to be found in Matthew 5, chapter 25.
So if you want to start getting ready to go there,
you can. And I'll give you a little bit of background.
So at this point, Jesus is preaching the Sermon
on the Mount, this large message that he's giving
to thousands on a hillside. I'm not talking my
little classroom of 25 kids at a time, but thousands
upon thousands upon thousands, both physically
far from him and then also ones that are super
close. I can only imagine how difficult it would
have been to speak to all of those people. As
he's delivering the message, I'm sure that there
were moments of shock. Maybe moments of confusion.
Maybe those little side conversations of like,
can you believe what he just said? And then little
conversations from there that just began to continue
and to continue and to continue. But they needed
to get settled or they would miss something.
And so before our key scripture, Jesus actually
says something that would probably land pretty
hard and stop them in their tracks. He reminds
them not to murder. Okay, we get that. Back in
Exodus when Moses was given the Ten Commandments,
we're told that That is a commandment. Thou shalt
not murder. That's not shocking. But in verse
22, he says, but I say, if you are even angry
with someone, you are subject to judgment. If
you call someone an idiot, you're in danger of
being brought before the court. And if you curse
someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.
So then that brings me to our main scripture
in five. 25, it says, settle matters quickly
with your adversary who is taking you to court.
Do it while you are still with him on the way,
or he may hand you over to the judge and the
judge may hand you over to the officer and you
may be thrown into prison. Notice what Jesus
is doing here. He first talked about the internal
problem of conflicts, the anger within our heart,
and now he's giving us an external solution.
Jesus says settle matters quickly, and he's talking
more about just ending an argument. He's talking
about refusing to let it go unresolved so that
the conflict can't take root in our heart. To
be settled is to entrust our case to God and
obey him while there is still time. For where
there is conflict, we must go and resolve. This
is the plain command of the text. Don't wait.
Go. Where there is conflict, go toward it, not
away from it, and move quickly. Go while you're
still on the way. Go before it hardens into something
you can't undo. Go and resolve this thing. That's
the whole progression that Jesus is laying out
for us. Where there is unresolved anger, it'll
lead to broken relationships and painful consequences.
Jesus isn't telling us to avoid conflict at all
costs. If anything, he's telling us that avoidance
is the exact thing that turns just a small little
conflict into a legal disaster. Because people
don't just wind up in prison, right? They don't
wake up suddenly estranged from family or bitter
toward a friend or even disconnected from God.
There were moments made before the sentence,
moments before the consequence. And so go and
resolve this thing while we're on the way. That's
what we're to do. It says with your adversary.
Pay attention to that. And you may think, well,
you know, I don't really have any enemies or
I'm not on a sports team. I don't have any opponents.
But your adversary means someone that you are
in conflict with. And Christian maturity is often
much less about settling things or treating the
easy people in our lives, but how we respond
to difficult people and difficult situations.
It's not just releasing something in your own
heart, but going and resolving, going and settling
with someone. Because listen, unsettled things,
they become heavy things. They weigh on us. When
Jesus tells us to go and settle matters quickly
with our adversary while we're still on the way,
he reminds us that while we are still on the
way means that there is a window, a stretch of
time, a season where the matter is still soft.
It's still pliable. It's still fixable. It's
still small enough to carry in one hand. But
once you pass that time, no matter what, The
matter eventually will not be yours to settle
anymore. And lawsuits rarely begin in the courtroom.
By the time that people actually get to the point
of being in court, there were hundreds of decisions
that had already been made. There were maybe
missed phone calls, missed conversations, unsigned
agreements, warnings that weren't heeded. The
courtroom is actually usually the end of a very,
very long story as opposed to the very beginning.
What started once maybe as just a little note,
side conversation, suddenly becomes a briefcase
that's stuffed and overflowing and exploding
on all sides. Things become heavy because they
are left unsettled. That case that we build becomes
heavy. And what begins then as a moment turns
into a weight that we carry because we refuse
to deal with it. In Hebrews 12, 15, it says,
see to it that no one falls short of the grace
of God and that no bitter root grows up. If you've
ever planted a seed or even pulled a weed, you
know that a root starts hidden, starts underneath
the surface. And this isn't Jack and the Beanstalk.
You're not just going to wake up one morning
and see this giant tree outside your window.
Bitterness is a root of conflict that grows.
It grows from small offenses that we didn't settle
while they were small. So listen, maybe you've
seen it like this. Maybe a teenager starts to
believe, you know what, my parents just, they
don't understand me. Instead of talking about
it and going through it, they withdraw. They
just let the hurt grow. Maybe then the parent
thinks, you know what, my child doesn't understand
me. Instead of talking about it, they get frustrated.
They say, my child doesn't appreciate any of
the things that we do. And so instead of pursuing
a relationship, they begin to just start keeping
score. Maybe it's a husband and a wife. They
stop having hard conversations because it's just
easier to live with the conflict around than
to work through it. Maybe a brother and a sister,
and they let years go between them because no
one wants to make the first phone call. Maybe
it's even just a friendship, a conversation that
happened and maybe one comment was made that
just got taken the wrong way. And instead of
asking, well, what did you mean by that? Both
people just quietly pull away until later you
find that it's been years until they last spoke.
Or even here in the church, maybe at times someone
has felt overlooked. They've been hurt or even
misunderstood. But rather than having an honest
conversation, they simply just distance themselves.
Before long, what started as maybe a misunderstanding
becomes a division. Most relationships aren't
actually destroyed because of some explosive
moment. They simply just are conflicts that were
never settled. And, you know, the thing about
those relationships, though, is that it might
not actually take that much to close it. Maybe
right now there's a situation in your head, maybe
a name, someone you need to go to after this
morning's gathering. Remember that that is not
the side application of this verse. That is the
verse, to go and resolve and to do it quickly.
And I know you may say, well, Pastor Alyssa,
I know that I'm supposed to go, but I don't really
want to go. What if I don't want to? I'm like,
well, you know, plainly I want to look at you
and say, well, I don't really care if you don't
want to go because you know that you should go.
But the question you're probably actually struggling
with is how. How do I go without carrying anger,
without carrying pride, without needing to win?
Jesus wasn't just concerned that we go. He's
concerned about the condition of our heart that
goes. So to fully settle, we need to rest and
release. Rest sounds passive and go sounds super
active. But the thing is, you can't go towards
someone in a posture of reconciliation, a posture
of wanting to fix things, if your heart is still
actively building a case against them. Settling
is coming to rest. and releasing that role of
judge to the Lord. So last weekend, I believe
it was, we just hosted our LHC kids drive -in
movie night, which was, in fact, as cute as you
think it was. If you didn't see the pictures,
I recommend going to look at them. But the kids
drove right up into the church, and we then watched
the story of David unfold. So the story of David,
we've got King Saul. King Saul is leading Israel.
He's the one that... The Lord originally said,
you know what? You want a king? Here he is. But
he began to turn. He disobeyed the Lord. And
so the prophet Samuel comes and says, you know
what? The kingdom, it's going to be taken from
you. And a new king is going to be anointed.
Enter David. This humble shepherd boy out in
the fields, playing his harp, minding his own
business. When he was called in, David gets anointed
to be king. And then he goes back to the field
for years. He is carrying a heavy anointing,
but understanding that it's not yet his time.
He's respecting God's anointed, which at the
time was still Saul. So later, most of us know
that he gets to the point of he ends up at the
battlefield. He ends up being the one to defeat
Goliath, and Saul ends up appointing him to be
a lead over his armies. But as David starts winning
victories, as people start beginning to take
notice that there's something special about David,
Saul starts to put together the pieces. He remembers
that someone else was going to be appointed king,
and he starts figuring out that it's David. What
happens? He gets super angry. And I mean angry
to the point of Saul is now pursuing David to
kill him. David is now running, actively being
hunted, betrayed by someone he once honored.
I mean, can you imagine going from living in
a palace to sleeping in a cave, being actively
chased, pursued by the man that you once just
played a harp for, the one that you respected,
the one whose son you treated like a brother.
But then there comes this moment, a moment where
David had to retaliate. Saul is alone. He's vulnerable.
He is exactly where he could have ended it. And
the world would say, you know what, do it. End
it. Save yourself. You're the one who's supposed
to lead anyways. But he doesn't. He released
the case to the Lord in 1 Samuel 24, verses 12
through 14. He said, may the Lord judge between
you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs
you have done to me. But my hand will not touch
you. As the old saying goes, from evildoers come
evil deeds. So my hand will not touch you. Before
David ever had the opportunity to spare Saul's
life in the cave, he had actually already spent
years pouring his heart out to the Lord. He didn't
just pretend everything was fine. He prayed.
He lamented. He cried out. He asked God, why
was this happening? He was wrestling with fear,
disappointment, and even injustice. So many of
the Psalms that David wrote during this period
of time while he was fleeing from Saul, they
are raw and honest. He talks about enemies pursuing
him, people seeking his life, feeling surrounded
and overwhelmed. But David didn't ignore the
pain and the conflict. He just brought it before
the Lord and rested in his sovereignty. He rested
and then released the issue because he knew that
the Lord's will would prevail. if he obeyed.
He rested and released the conflict because he
knew that God was in control. By the time that
David stood in that cave with Saul, within arm's
reach, David had already had the time to release
his anger, his fear, his desire for justice,
all to the Lord. So when the moment came, he
simply refused to let Saul's sin create sin in
him. Because conflict in the heat of the moment,
in the struggle, in our flesh, it does. It makes
us want to react in huge ways. We want to lash
out with words. We want to lash out with actions
and anger. But our key scripture of Matthew 525
reminds us that we're not supposed to blow up
and keep walking to the court. We can pause,
rest, and release. We can rest in him. We can
take matters to the Lord in prayer. We can release
everything while we're on the way. But listen,
prayer is just what prepares us to go. Prayer
is not a substitute for actually going. Some
of us have just been asking God to simply remove
the conflict. We'll go to the Lord in prayer
and say, you know what, Lord, if you could just
smooth this all out, everything would be great.
I can do about my stuff. But that's not how the
Lord wants it to work. He says, I need you to
have a conversation. I need you to step up and
take this moment. So if you were to ask yourself
honestly, would you say that you're still building
a case against someone? Have you been collecting
evidence, rehearsing the wrong things that they've
done, even recruited other people just waiting
for your moment? We know that Jesus instructs
us to go, but we answer the how by resting in
him and releasing the matter to God. Because
settling a matter doesn't always mean that the
relationship is going to be restored overnight.
But it doesn't always mean that trust is immediately
rebuilt. Because sometimes, you know, the problem
is that the other people won't respond the way
we thought they would or should. But as followers
of Jesus, we are still responsible for our obedience,
not their response. So we rest and release. We
release the verdict, the outcome to God because
he is much more qualified than we are. Why? Because
while we rest in knowing that God is the ultimate
judge, we also must remember that Jesus is the
one that settled our debt first. We have to remember
what he's done. Remembering what he's done is
the foundation for settling matters. Remembering
what he's done is how we are able to go and resolve.
Remembering what he's done is how we are able
to rest and release. Because the greatest unsettled
matter was not between us and another person,
but it's between us and God. We had an unsettled
matter with God. Sin. Sin was something that
was separating us from this holy God. We couldn't
fix it. We couldn't pay it. We couldn't undo
it. We couldn't just carry the hurt. We were
carrying guilt. Maybe when somebody lies, when
somebody betrays you, when somebody cheats, when
somebody gossips, when somebody causes some sort
of conflict that is stirring up, we then want
somebody to pay. And so we either settle it by
just that. We either say, you're going to pay,
or we absorb the cost. And that is what Jesus
did. He settled our debt by absorbing the cost.
Remember what he's done. Think of the irony.
In our key scripture of Matthew 5, 25, Jesus
is teaching this passage. And then years later,
where does he end up? On his way to court. Jesus
was arrested in the garden after having been
betrayed by a friend, a disciple, a brother.
He was taken before religious leaders where false
witnesses were brought in. And then what happens?
Accusations fly. Lies are told. They spit on
him. They strike him. They mock him. They lead
him to Pilate. That sounds like a typical courtroom,
maybe without all the aggression. But you've
got a judge. You've got your witnesses. You have
an accusation. You even have a sentence. But
there was one thing that's wrong. The verdict.
Jesus. was perfect. He was blameless. He was
innocent. He did God's will and never once sinned.
Yet he was declared guilty. But he didn't defend
himself. He had all of the power and the authority
to call down angels to prove his innocence, but
he remained silent. 1 Peter 2 .23 says, when
he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he
entrusted himself to him who judges justly. Why?
Because Jesus wasn't trying to win his case.
He was settling ours. He didn't need to win his
case with the father because the father already
knew the truth. So then on the cross, he paid
the debt that we could never pay. He didn't have
to just carry this burden of proving himself
so that he could walk free, but so that we could
instead. The nails weren't the thing that was
holding him to the cross because he could have
freed himself in a moment. That was no matter
for him. But the desire to settle our case once
and for all is what held him there. We remember
what he's done because Jesus isn't asking us
to do something that he's not willing to do first.
We don't go because we're naturally forgiving,
right? We go because we've been forgiven. We
don't release because people necessarily deserve
it. We release because Jesus released us. We
don't pursue peace because conflict is comfortable.
We pursue peace because Christ made peace with
us. We can go to another person because we're
not going from a place of trying to prove ourselves.
We remember what he's done. Because it's not
about releasing people because they earn it,
but again, because Jesus first released us. Settling
with people, resting in God only works because
Jesus already settled the debt that mattered
most. And remembering what Jesus has done changes
also how we see the person who hurt me. The person
who hurts us, the conflicts that we're in, the
situations that we face. It humbles our pride.
It softens our anger. It loosens your grip on
desiring revenge. It gives you the courage to
have the hard conversation. Remembering what
he's done helps us to go and resolve. Remembering
what he's done helps us to rest and release.
As the worship team comes, let me ask you this.
What are you carrying that God has never asked
you to carry? Is it an offense? Is it a desire
for revenge? Maybe a conversation that you've
avoided, a burden for control, a fear, a regret.
Think about how my message began. My classroom
could not move forward until it was settled.
Jesus says that our hearts work the same way.
Families work the same way. Marriages work the
same way. Churches work the same way. Nothing
healthy will grow where conflict and bitterness
remain. So why do we think That it's okay for
us that we have the right to take people to court,
to drag them, to respond harshly, to hold grudges,
to carry burdens, to harbor bitterness and anger
instead of trusting them to the Father. Just
as I learned when I was a teacher where nothing
good happens until the room is settled, Jesus
teaches that nothing healthy grows in a heart
that refuses to settle. One classroom taught
children. The other, the Sermon on the Mount,
taught disciples. It taught followers of God,
children of God. And that, that's us. The lesson
is the same. Don't let chaos remain. Get settled.
But that doesn't mean that you just get to leave
here all light and spiritually happy and whatnot.
It means that if there's a name on your mind,
a conflict that happened, a situation going through
your head, that you should leave prayerfully
today with a plan to go and go quickly. Jesus
tells us to settle matters quickly because he
knows what happens when unsettled matters remain.
A conversation avoided becomes bitterness. A
wound ignored becomes resentment. A thought entertained
becomes a stronghold. And what starts small grows
heavier and heavier and heavier. And so today
it's not just, hey, stop carrying that. But it's,
hey, deal with it before it escalates and before
it's too late. Settle what needs to be settled.
Don't allow what can be resolved to become something
that controls you. Don't get to the courtroom
holding on to things that you should have resolved
along the way. Stand with me this morning, please.
If this morning you are carrying something, some
bitter root, some conflict, some hatred, some
anger, some matter that you need to settle, I
want you to settle it here first. Before you
go to somebody else, First, surrender your heart
to the Lord. Ask him to remove your desire to
punish, to prove, or even to prevail. Then go
in obedience, even if your emotions haven't fully
caught up yet. Until you settle yourself in the
Lord, you'll never have the strength to do it
outside of here. This morning, I want you to
bow your heads and close your eyes. If you need
to settle something, I want you to do something.
And again, with eyes closed, heads down, this
is a moment between you and God. If you need
to settle something this morning, here's what
I want you to do. I'm not gonna ask you to step
out from your seat right now. I'm gonna ask you
to extend a hand and hold your fist as if you're
holding on to whatever that matter is, whatever
that thing is that you need to let go of, whatever
conflict that has been going on in your life,
whatever situation. has been causing you unrest,
whatever thing has been causing you stress, this,
we're holding onto it right now. But we're not
just holding onto it to hold onto it, we're holding
onto it before the Lord. This is the moment,
like I said, that no one needs to be looking
around, no one needs to know exactly what your
conflict is, but this is the moment that you're
holding onto this before the Lord. I'm gonna
pray, and I want you to continue to pray, but
when you're ready, I want you to release your
fist. I don't want you to release your hand because
I'm done praying. I don't want you to release
because the moment feels like it's over. I want
you to release when you've taken the time to
settle your heart. And then if you'd still like
individual prayer, we have a prayer team that
will be along the side that would love to pray
with you or I would be willing to pray with you.
But don't leave here carrying a heavy case. Don't
leave here with a matter that needs to be settled
in your heart. Take this moment before the Lord.
Rest and release. And then we're going to go
quickly. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, God, we
thank you for this morning. God, we thank you
for your word. We thank you that you have been
with us this morning as we are talking, as we're
going through this conflict, this conversation
that sometimes can be uncomfortable. The idea
of conflict is not something that we want to
be in. It's not something that we were ever meant
to be in. Father, we thank you that this morning
as we've heard from your word, as we've heard
from the message that you preached yourself,
that we have a command, God. We are supposed
to go and resolve our matters, but we need to
rest in you. We need to release that matter to
you this morning. So Father, for those that I
saw that have their hands raised this morning,
those that were holding on to something, God,
I pray that there be a release, not just a physical
release of their hands, but God, as they release
that matter to you in their hearts, as they feel
that freedom, that joy, that peace that comes
from releasing something to you, to know that
we're not the judge, to know that we're not the
one that has to handle it. But God, that you
do go with us. That when you say that we're supposed
to settle matters along the way with our adversary
on the way, God, you are also right there with
us. That today as we go, today as we go and resolve,
after we've taken the time to remember what you've
done and to remember that we can rest and release
in you, Father, I pray that you are with us in
guiding every word, every conversation. And Father,
when... The outcome happens. Whatever happens,
we give it to you. We trust you. When we pray
for reconciliation, we pray for relationships
to be fixed. We pray for situations to come to
a resolution, God. We pray that this morning
as we release our anger, as we release our pride,
as we release anything to you, God, that we are
settled, that we feel rested. But not that we're
just spiritually lighter and ready to just happy
-go -lucky go on our way and say, oh, well, I
released it. But, God, that we are strengthened
and given the courage and the boldness that it
takes to go and have that conversation. Go and
speak to that conflict. Go and move in your power,
God, your authority that goes with us because
of your Holy Spirit. God, we thank you this morning.
We pray that you are just continuing to minister
the hearts, minister to the people, even if things
come up later, that they come back to this. They
come back to remembering that they don't go alone,
but they are to go. But they have the power to
go because of what you've done. We thank you,
Lord. We thank you for what you've done. We thank
you for settling our debt, God. We thank you.
For when we didn't deserve it, that you gave
us your son. You set us free and you're giving
us freedom yet today. Father, we thank you. We
give you all things in Jesus' name. Amen. Thank
you for tuning in to this message from Lifehouse
Church. Pray that you were impacted powerfully
by this message. If you have been personally
affected by our ministry and you would like to
partner with us as we love God, love people every
day, visit our website at www .lifehousecog .com.