Welcome to the Tales from the Crit podcast. We are an actual play podcast featuring a
revolving cast of players making our way through micro RPGs, highly narrative tabletop games,
and the more popular and less known RPG systems from a wide variety of genres. Content may
not be suitable for children and content warnings can be found in the description. I'm Riley
Groves and I'll be your host, your guide, your GM on this episode of Tales from the Crit.
Welcome back to Tales from the Crit. Today we have a very special bunch of guests to record.
We have Rebecca. Hey. And we have two first timers. We have Tim. Hello. And Anna. I feel
so welcomed. Oh, we are so glad to have you guys here. This is going to be a great bunch
of episodes. We are playing a game called Badge Quest. It is by DM Dave and you can find it at
dmdavepublishing.com. He makes a great, a bunch of great content. And this is a, one of his new
RPG systems that he put out and it just looked too fun to pass up. So we are going to be playing
some Girl Scouts today. Nice. Yeah. If you'd want to hear more about the character creation and
setup of the world, where you have a special episode coming out, right after this one or soon
after this one, I should say, not right after, like the moment, a little bit of time after that.
And so you can dive into how we kind of created our characters, find out more about them and about
the town itself. But right now let's introduce our characters. Anna, you're playing as. I am Vivian
Strauss. I am 10 and three quarters years old and I live next to Bonnie, who's my best friend. We're
in troop 626 together. I have already a Sleuthing badge and a martial arts badge. I also carry with
me a slingshot and I am the enforcer of the group. All right. The enforcer. That's awesome. Tim,
who are you going to be playing as today? I will be playing as Maxwell Cowell. I'm 12 years old and
I've never been in the public school system. I have two badges, the drama badge and the astronomy
badge. I have a three and skill, a one and toughness and a three and charm. So obviously
I'm going to be trying not to get in too many physical altercations. And then I'm a detective.
All right. Awesome. And Rebecca, who are you going to be playing today? I'm going to be Bonnie
McGinnis. I am 11 years old. Vivian is my best friend. I have badges in first aid and public
speaking. My abilities are a one and skill, a three and toughness and a three and charm. And my
archetype is the leader. Awesome. Cool. So now we know who we're going to be spending our time with
today and on a few episodes. Let's get to know the players a little bit better. We're going to be
using a question from our pod deck, interview deck. And today's question is, what's the worst job you
ever had? Who wants to go first? I guess I'll go first. All right. Anna, hit us with it. So this
job was one that I had when I was probably about six. My dad used to pay me in quarters, $2 to rub
his back. And that was probably the worst job because two bucks was not worth it. He made me
do it for like an hour. Yeah. That is grossly underpaid. But you built up these gigantic
muscular thumbs that you have today. Maybe. Maybe that's where it all started. All right. Who wants to go next?
Oh, I guess I'll get it out of the way. You know, it's been a while, I guess, since I found any job
that's really highly rewarding. So it's kind of hard to pick one job that was the worst. I think
that's kind of the best blanket statement. All equally fucking terrible. I've had a lot of jobs.
And yeah, I still haven't found the one. Right on. Okay. Rebecca, worst job. I loved this job, but it
was also definitely the worst. I worked at a humane society briefly. That was really fun to play with
the dogs and the cats and stuff. But man, it sucked. The work sucked. The hours, they were okay,
but they were really early. And then kennel cough went around. And so I had to like, get home, get
undressed, put my clothes in the laundry, take a shower before I could even pet my own dogs. And I
was like, this is a nightmare. And I quit briefly after. Nice. Mine would be at my grandmother's
boarding kennel that I worked out as a very young kid. I would pick up the poops outside. And I'd do
that four times a weekend for $5. And I think- $5 each time? No, no, no. Weekend. $5 a week.
$5 rate. Yeah. I mean, that was it. And the worst part was I've always loved chicken wings my whole
life. Right? My grandmother knew this. And so I used to get off the bus at her house after school
and she'd be like, Hey, I'm going to the grocery store. Do you want me to pick up this certain
frozen chicken wing thing? And I was always like, yeah, man. Because I was like six and didn't know
what to do with myself. So I just said, yeah. And she'd be like, okay, cool.
And then she'd come back and she'd be like, these were $6. So I kept your pay from the weekend,
but you owe me a dollar. So every fifth week, I wouldn't get paid anything at all. Because I
always spent the money on chicken wings, but I would always owe her a dollar. So like every fifth
or sixth week, I just, you know, the debt was due, man. And that went on for a long time. And uh,
your grandmother cheated you. Yeah, she definitely did. She is, she is a hustler.
Your rate was already terrible. It was well below minimum wage. The benefits really took away from
you. Excellent health insurance, but yeah, so that was pretty rough. Well, most jobs are not fun,
but this one is. This one's the most fun that I've had. Yeah. So let's play BadgeQuest. All right.
All right. Everybody ready? Yes. Cool. It's March 1st, the opening day of cookie selling season.
Bonnie springs out of bed at the first sound of the morning chickadees. The sun shines through
her curtains and glimmers off the badges on your brave blossom sash. This year will be different,
you think? Now that you've got Vivian and the mysterious Maxwell on your Salesforce, this year
Bonnie is going to get the gold seller badge and dethrone Sylvia from troop 256. This year,
this is troop 626's year. We find the three of you, Maxwell, Vivian, and Bonnie standing outside
the statue of the beloved Margaret O'Sullivan, the world cookie selling champion. Rumor has it
she has sold a thousand boxes of cookies in a single season. This statue is right outside troop
626's clubhouse. We're going to say March 1st is a Saturday so that you guys can have full eight
hours of cookie selling time. Oh yeah. Nice. Okay. You get to the clubhouse. Your boxes of cookies
are all unwrapped, ready to go inside the clubhouse. You stand out in the brave blossoms
private park around the statue of Margaret O'Sullivan. Oh Vivian, Margaret was so inspirational.
I'm going to sell more cookies than her. Yeah? You're going to do it? I'm going to do it.
A thousand and one? I need my statue here. That'd be fucking awesome. Don't tell anyone I just said
fuck. No, I won't. Okay. Hi, you must be Maxwell. Yeah, um, how's it going? Good. You're, you're older
than I thought you'd be. I'm not sure what you mean by that. I'm only 12. How old are you?
Well, 11. That's like a year. That's not crazy. I guess you're just taller than I expected. Wait,
does that mean that everyone else is really young? No. Do I look old? No, we're just the oldest ones
here, me and Vivian. Oh, hi. Hi Vivian. Hi, I'm, my name's Max. Well, everyone calls me Max. Okay,
Max it is. I'll remember that. Okay. I hope in a good way. I don't like the way you're looking at
me. You look pretty scrawny kid. Oh, I didn't mean that in a bad way either. Boy, I'm not saying
things right. Um, can we talk about cookies? Yeah, let's talk cookies. Are we allowed to sample the
product? Probably not. Then how do I know how to sell it the best if I didn't tell people it tastes
really good? You sell the dream. Okay, I'll take your advice because you're forceful with your words,
but you seem really nice. I'm going to keep going off of that. Um, okay. Hey, I really like this,
this flavor here, but um, I just don't know about the, the Cocoa Cookie Blasters. The Cocoa Cookie
Blasters are really great. They're full of blasts of chocolate. Do you usually sell a lot of them?
I've never sold these before. Well, these ones are new this year. They do special edition ones each
year. And this is one of those. Oh, okay. Um, but this one that you said you like, that's just the
shortbread ones. Those are the classics. The biscuits. Everyone loves those. Not really.
The clubhouse door swings open and uh, none other than your fearless leader, Marla Beans,
a middle-aged woman that lives right across from the clubhouse, yells out, uh, hey Maxwell,
Maxwell, why don't you come in here for a second? All right, guys, I gotta go. I kind of got a
feeling. I know what this is about. Oh, I'll see you around. Okay. And then I head on inside.
Hey, Maxwell, you know, uh, when I originally saw the paperwork come through that your parents had
filled out for your registration, I was a little, uh, I didn't quite understand. Um, but I respect
your right to be here. You know, there are no other Boy Scout troops here in town. So, um,
you know, I figured your parents, I could give your parents a call. Uh, very hard to reach them. I
don't know where they are. Are they not home often? Yeah, no, that's typical. Um, it's hard
for me to reach them sometimes too. I find text is best. Sometimes they respond by the end of the
day and that works pretty well. Okay. Um, all right. I'll, I'll try to remember that. It is
just a sometimes though. I've gotten used to just not hear anyway. Not enough about me. You're
starting to look concerned. I'm a little confused. I will say that, but you know what? You're, you're
in a good troop, um, good troop, cookie, cookie selling seasons here. So I hope you're charming.
You know, you can probably razzle and dazzle a different, uh, type of customer than we're
used to, I guess. Um, anyways, your parents said that, uh, they, they told me a bit about you and
thought these two badges would probably go along with your life experience. So what two badges did
you get to start off with? I have the drama badge and the astronomy badge. Okay. Yeah. They said,
um, they said you, you like to look at stars and, uh, you know, um, cause some drama. I don't really
know. Anyways, these two badges, I'm going to give you these so that you fit in a little better.
And she hands you your first two badges. And that's how we're going to say you got your badges
coming into this, this troop. Um, thank you. I didn't know that we got these cool badges.
Dad said it was something more about how I kind of forget to listen to him when he talks sometimes
something about pursuing business. I don't know. He's always talking about business and it's good
to know business and be in business. Well, that makes sense why you sell sent you here then. Um,
we are big into the cookie selling business and with a little luck, we'll, uh, beat those
brats over at two, five, six. I mean, those charming young ladies over at two, five, six this year.
Um, so if, if your dad's taught you anything about business, how about picking up some boxes and, uh,
getting out there, sell some cookies. That sounds like something dad would say. I'll grab the boxes.
Okay. Thanks for the badges. They look really cool. Okay. You're, you're welcome. Um, you know,
just don't try to tell anybody that you just got them. Say you earned them somewhere else,
extracurricular program. Okay. Okay. All right. Thanks. Let me go call Bonnie and Vivian and
Bonnie Vivian come in. Let's sell some cookies. As soon as I am walking out the door, I'm starting
to put those pins onto wherever my uniform is, like just not even paying attention that I'm
walking by them and they're like watching me. Just, just so excited about my badges.
God, Maria or whatever her name is. She's so annoying. Yeah, I know. I don't want to do this.
I want to just sell my cookies already. Let's go see what she wants. Her name's Marla. Oh,
you know that? Okay. No, I didn't. I knew it was something with an M.
You should really know our troop leader's name. She's beans. That's all she is to me.
You're damn right. She is. What's up beans? All right. Uh, Vivian misses beans. Thank you. Um,
Vivian, Bonnie time to, time to sell some cookies. Hooray. Great. All right. So get out there.
There's lots of, lots of time to go, go sell. Do you have a wagon for us to use? No. A rider one,
maybe? No, just shove all this, shove all the cookies in your backpack. Come back. There's no
way I'm going to carry all the cookies that I'm going to sell. We've never had a wagon before.
You've done just fine. We always have a wagon. But we're going to sell more cookies this year.
You unwrapped these cookies and told us to take them. And sell them. How can we do that? Unless
they're in a wagon. Uh, just then I'm going to walk back into the thing and, um, excuse me,
miss, Mrs. Beans. I was, I was trying to load up the, the, the cookies into my backpack,
but like, I really think we should have something with wheels, like some sort of wagon,
maybe because there's a lot of cookies out there. See this guy gets it. Oh, you want to sell cookies
with us? You seem to know what you're doing. Yeah. I know the first thing you need is a lot of cookies
because if people see what they're going to buy, then they're more willing to put their money
into your pockets. That's instant gratification right there. All Americans love that. Okay. Here's
what we're going to do. Um, Bonnie, you're the leader. I'm going to give you $30. Please go over
to the Wasmo world. Okay. Buy a wagon. All right. We can handle that. Bring me the receipt. Okay.
Mrs. Beans will be financially, she will never recover from this if she does not get, if she
can't expense this wagon. All right. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So go ahead, go, go do that and then get
selling those cookies. The clubhouse will be unlocked all, all day. I'll be right across the
street if you need anything. There's a clubhouse? You're at the clubhouse. Where in the clubhouse?
I didn't know that's what this was. I thought it'd be more like, um, in a tree. Yeah. Yeah.
It's not that kind of clubhouse. Maybe next year. A rope ladder or a telescope. If you sell enough
cookies, maybe we'll be able to build a tree house. With a telescope? It doesn't have to be a real
one. I like to pretend sometimes that I'm a pirate. Oh, yeah. Viv gets it. I think she seems we might
be. Anyway. Hi, Bonnie. Let's go get those, the wagon. Yeah, let's head out. I agree about the
tree, the tree climbing stuff though. We have the, the telescope sounds great. No rope ladder.
Bonnie's parents could fund it. Oh, yeah. I mean, I guess. Are your parents pirates?
They're not pirates. But they would. Pirates of business. But they do like supporting the
community. This I understand. I understand the pirates of business.
Yeah, I don't, I think that's a thing, but that's okay. Let's go, uh, get this wagon so we can get
selling. We're losing daylight, people. I know a shortcut by my house. Oh, where do you live?
I live over on Bleak Street across from the Ward's house. I live below the Smiths. Oh,
I have the whole place to myself. Well, I mean, aside from where the Smiths live,
but everything underneath the Smiths is my domain. So you like live alone? Yeah. Cool. Cool.
It's normal. You ever drink beers? I don't really know what those are.
But I'm sure that I have a food stipend on my credit card that my parents give me for
your parents give you a credit card. Well, it's only good really at the WWE.
The WWE? The Wasmo world Emporium. Oh, okay. Yeah. But if they see anything go on it,
that's not really food related. They usually shoot me an email within seven days. Oh, seven
business days. So nine days. So it's hard to hold on to receipts. So I know how Mrs. Bean feels,
and I'll make sure that we don't lose that receipt for her because $30 is a lot of money.
It's more money than I've ever really had. Oh, well, aside from cookies selling and my parents
money. Anyway, I think we should go get that wagon. Yeah, let's go. I just assumed we were like
walking and talking. So you actually live right across from the clubhouse? The clubhouse through
the backyard. Nice. And yet your family sent an Uber. Well, to drop me off into the town.
He's Airbnb-ing the basement. Yeah. Looking at the map here, which you can find on Instagram,
that is about a two and a half minute drive maybe if you stop for traffic for a prolonged
amount of time. Yep. Yeah, definitely. Especially if you took Main Street. That's like three minutes
or four. How busy is this town? Like an East Greenbush sized? I mean, it's a pretty decent
size town. Yeah, it is. So yeah, it's relative. It's busier than small town busy, but it's not
kind of like the Kinderhook Main Street. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Gotcha. I'm gonna
take a drink of this. Is that beer? No, Maxwell. We don't drink beer. Only Smirnoffs. We stay above
drugs. We did Dare last year. Oh, yeah. Cigarettes are terrible. Don't ever smoke them. The worst.
I hear you die immediately. Oh, wow. Yeah. And your body will catch on fire. Oh, wow. I haven't
heard that one at all. Yeah. And marijuana makes you sink into the couch. It's really weird. You
turn into like jello. All your bones melt. It's weird. Boy, it's been a long time since I've talked
to children. I mean other children. I'm a child too. It just feels different because, you know,
did I mention I've never been to school before? I do it on my computer. So it's just a little weird
sometimes to talk to other people. And I'll be honest, this jello melting sounds pretty cool.
I've always wondered what it would be like to be a giant thing in jello while wiggly and jiggly.
But your brain melts too. Oh, yeah. And then you die. Oh, yeah. The doors of the Wasmo world
open as you guys are having these wonderfully childlike conversations. And you guys are in the
large Wasmo world, Emporium. All right. So if I remember right, we want to go kind of toward
the back and then take a left and then we'll be over toward the wagons. Has to be red. Yeah,
definitely. I'm going to stop at the Walmart greeter. The what now? Oops, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
I'm going to stop at the WWEW, the Wasmo world Emporium Welcomer. And hey, excuse me,
mister. My name is Max Swell. And I was wondering if you would like to buy some of these awesome
cookies from the Blossoms. Oh, oh, well, I do love me some blossom cookies. Yeah, what kinds you got
on yet? Well, so technically, we're just getting our wagon right now so we can actually have the
cookies on us. But I have the sales slips. You can buy it now. And then we're really close to you.
I think Mrs. Bean said we deliver next week or someone delivers next week. It's going to
be mechanical. That's what she said. Or mechanic, mechanic. Oh, I think it was mechanical. Next week,
I suggest the crazy cookie blasters. Boy, I'm not used to this kind of sales pitch. Boy,
that's not what he sounded like before at all. Is it? Boy, it is. Well, I don't like that voice.
I'm just glad you're getting away from your Jersey Canada accent that you always do. Yeah.
Which the troop leader has. I don't even remember what she sounds like. So that's cool.
Just older and worried.
Um, yeah, make, go ahead and make a one charm roll for me. This is off how the typical cookie
sales are going to go. You have more than one dice and charm, don't you? Oh, right. So I rolled a
three, a three of them. You're all three. Cool. So I roll three because there's three in charm. Sorry.
Yes. Yep. I got a six and two fives. That is a great success. Um, I was going to put the check
in a four, um, a six into five. So we will say you crit cause those are all passing things. So
awesome. I love chocolate cookie blasters and he takes your sheet and actually mark down that,
um, you have made four. Just so you know, these are only a seasonal edition. I suggest picking
up at least a half dozen. You'll never be able to have them again. I got a critical.
Can I encourage him to buy more? You know what? That seems like a good plan. Yeah. I'll take six
boxes of, of chocolate cookie blasters or whatever they're called. Crazy chocolate blasters.
Yeah, that one. So you sold $30 worth of cookies, which he gives you. I, um, if you could deliver
those later today, I will be here. I'll have to ask Mrs. Beans. It sounded like next week was when
the mechanicals would be happening, but maybe she has something else in mind. We are about to buy a
wagon. Maybe she'll let us roll it back over with your boxes. Okay. Come back with my box. I'll let
you know. Thank you, mister. All right. I don't want to speak for Vivian, but I think we were
hanging back to try to see what his, his sales pitch is like. Definitely. Cause like we're all
in this together, but we're also competing and he's new and he's a new kid and he's a boy. Yeah.
And weird. Yes. And super weird. When we get a far enough pass, I'm going to turn around and be
like, guys, did you see that? I got it. We got six boxes we sold already. That's awesome. We already
made the $30 for the wagon. Well, we made it for Mrs. Beans. No, you said we're going to do this
as a group. Oh yeah. Well, that's nice. I thought we'd be like a team, like the three, the three
wise men's musketeers. It could be any of them. The three human beings. Yeah. Yeah. Go human beings.
Yeah. Okay. Let's get that wagon. Uh, there's red ones over in the back. I think. Yeah. Make sure
the wheels are good and greased. I heard red is the fastest color. So I agree with red. Definitely.
I think it's statistically proven. Police is also agree with it. Red's the fastest. That is true.
I have definitely heard that before. Plus it looks awesome. Yeah. And it's going to look really
rad when Vivian gets in it and rolls down the hill out back. We're going to do that again this year,
right? Oh, I have to ride in the wagon this time. Yeah. I almost broke my arm last time. My parents
were not happy. I don't know. You went really fast. It's a lot of fun though. I'm usually the
one that pushes you. Well, maybe Maxwell wants to try it. I'm going to have to look at what you're
doing first. This sounds a little scary with a wagon in a hill. Yeah. Well, it's like initiation
into the scouts. If you're going to be on 626, you got to prove your worth. You got to toughen up,
kid. I got a six boxes that the Crazy Chocolate Blaster sold. Well, that's good for sales,
but not really for being tough. But that's okay. We'll discuss it. I'm more of a morale person.
I'm not very tough. That's why dad said I'd be good at business, which I guess he was right. I
kind of thought he'd be wrong. Mostly because he's always wrong. He was wrong about me being good at
soccer. And he was wrong about me being good at the boating. The boating was bad. That was a bad
summer. I didn't tie any knots right. I got really angry. I woke up one morning and all the boats
had floated to the middle of the lake. The counselor was really upset. Oh my. But I sold those
cookies. So that's all that matters. Your skills lie elsewhere, it seems. Business. Yeah. You're
more of an indoors kind of kid, huh? Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. I like it in there, in the inside.
It's good to be safe. I don't have to worry about all the other people.
Bunny, you want to help me get this wagon off the shelf? Yeah. Yeah. Let's try to get this down.
Okay. You guys get it down and are able to check out without any incidents. And now you guys can
have control of this wagon. It can carry 10 additional normal sized items when not filled
with cookies. But you guys have to have it with you at the time that you want to use it. So.
Does one person want to track the wagon? I'll carry the wagon. And it does technically belong to
the- The troupe. The troupe. The blossom. Itself. So it should probably stay there.
Unless we need to use it to like kill monsters. Well, I'm just saying. It's usually supposed to
be there as it was expensed by the troupe. So it may present an issue if holding it overnight or,
you know, taking it for non-cookie selling related matters.
We're definitely responsible enough that we give Mrs. Beans back the receipts.
Absolutely. Oh, thank you children. Thank you. Okay. Now go get on your cookie sales.
All right. Big numbers. Here's a receipt for someone over at the WWE. I just sold them
six boxes of the crazy chocolate blasters on the way to get the wagon. Awesome. Now you can head
right back. Here's your cookies to go sell them and she loads up your wagon with cookies.
You guys are going to do- At time delivery, you convinced me that the wagon was the right
way to do it. So as you run out throughout the day, come back and grab more, I guess.
And that's that. How many boxes can it carry? Plenty of boxes. But how many?
Depending on how many you sell. Okay. Four to eight hours worth, I guess.
A troop leader would be like, if the area of the space of your wagon is this big,
it'd be horrible. It would be. So we're not going to do that. Yay. Because this troop leader is
not going to calculate how big the red wagon's interior is. It's kind of like Santa's toy bag.
As long as you keep reaching for a toy, it's usually in there. It's as big as it needs to be.
Should we head south down Junx Street and then loop back up and Max will maybe sell some to your
neighbors and the people that you're staying with, but not really staying with? We should try the
funeral home too. I bet those depressed people would love some cookies. You think sad people
like cookies? Yes. I'm sad and I like cookies. Okay. We should probably brush your hair first.
You're a little bit messy for a funeral home. Oh god, you're like my mom. I just- Well,
your hair is everywhere. People in funeral homes are usually kind of fancy.
Well, they're just buying cookies. Well, come here. Let me just brush your hair. I have a
brush in my bag. Just let me brush it. Can I roll the brush in your hair? No. Can I roll
my charm against her toughness? No, because somebody will take some injuries though.
I can heal them. You had a bandaid over the chunk of hair that you ripped out.
I think we should go to the funeral home first.
And then maybe we can go across the street to the Sunset Boulevard and around and then on the way
back down to the- I'm thinking too big. Where do you see the funeral home? No, that's not it.
That's called the funeral home. Right there. Yeah. So if we went up and around,
but then we won't get to the store anytime sooner. Well, they already paid so they can get their
cookies last. That's what I was thinking was using the cookies we had as an incentive for other
people to buy cookies because now we can be like, well, if they buy six, I'll give you one of them
now and I'll swing by later with the other five and now you have instant gratification. Here's the
box of cookies. Or you do it as like, I only have these many boxes. So if you want cookies,
you have to buy more because there's only a limited supply. We're about to run out. Oh,
right. We have more than five. I forgot we just have as many cookies as we need. That's perfect.
We can satisfy everybody. We have plenty of cookies. Okay. Yeah. I think the, yeah,
we should have over to Mr. Blankside's funeral parlor. There's always a lot of sad people around
there I noticed. And I think sad people like cookies. Yeah. But we have to be careful because
they don't love sales pitches. So try to just blend in like you have the cookies. We have our
uniforms on. We're not going to be blending in. This is going to be okay. Well, let's just, we're
young and cute. They'll just love us. Most people are old at funeral homes too. And you guys set off
morning's cookie sales. So morning with a U. All right. You head out after you load up your wagon
and you hit the town. The first car that you guys see as soon as you step out of the clubhouse
is a dark black limousine. And it drives very slowly past the clubhouse down junk street. And
then it turns onto main street. And let's do our first cookie check. So you guys spend four hours
in the morning selling your wagon of cookies. Everybody's going to give me a charm test of five.
So anything at five or a six will be a success. So take any dice that you have in the skill of
charm. Six. I got two sixes and a five. All right. Two sixes and a five. That's awesome. Two, two,
three. Ooh, Maxwell's big cookie selling time was at the Wasmo world. And what'd you get, Vivian?
I got a six. Okay. So Vivian, you sold one box of cookies. So you put $5 down on yours. Maxwell,
you sold zero on this. So that was the first 30 that you got is 30. So no extra. And it looks
like Bonnie killed it with two sixes and a five. So that's on sixes. Every time you guys roll a
six for cookie sales, I'll give you two boxes sold. So that is five boxes of cookies sold.
Is that $25? Correct. All right. Awesome. Cool. So you guys returned to the clubhouse wagon empty.
And yeah. Well, that was a long day, wasn't it? That was. Has that been eight hours? Oh my God.
Six boxes of cookies when emptying out your wagon. No. Yeah. I would make more than five boxes in
eight hours, I would hope. Yeah. Sorry. You guys don't have to return yet. You could accomplish
go for another four hours with the number of boxes of cookies you still have in your wagon.
Well, this was a nice stop for lunch. Do you guys want to get back out on the town?
Oh, actually, maybe we could say we stopped at Wasmo World for lunch and got hot dogs.
So Max can sell his cookies to that guy. The hot dog place is at the gas station. Oh, yeah,
that's right. It seems like it would be in a... Well, I have the money. It's just the delivery.
We can always say it happened in the first four hours. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you guys
already told me. Yeah, we did it on the way over to do hot dogs, made sure to swing down.
Are you guys are going to go to the Glizzy Max? Yeah, I think it's rented for lunch.
Yeah, that sounds good. After our first hours of selling. Yeah, then we'll sell some cookies
at the gas station. A lot of people go in and out of there. That would be a good place for us to post
up. Yeah. Plus, there's snacks there we could also buy that aren't these cookies. Bonnie,
you're doing really good at this. Thanks. It's been a lot of years. I thought I'd get a lot more at
the funeral home, but everyone got even sadder when I said these cookies will make you happy
and stop being sad about what you're sad about. It was like they got more sad about what they
were sad about. Yeah, you're not really super cooth with the...
sales sometimes. Sometimes you're on it, but that time you just really weren't. I didn't expect so
many sad people to turn sadder. It kind of made me not want to sell cookies anymore for a little
bit there, but I'm feeling better now after these whiz dogs. I don't understand why I didn't sell
more cookies. I was nice to everyone. Yeah, Viv, we should talk about that. You're really abrupt and
kind of scary. Well, I feel like that's the best way to talk to people when they're dumb. You're
right. I mean, it is, and that's why you're my best friend, but you're kind of scaring people away
from your cookies. It's hard to be nice. That last couple bought my cookies out of spite because you
are so scary. Well, I guess as a troop, we're making money. We are collectively as you can be.
I'm just constructive criticism. I think the human beings are achieving a new high score.
That being us, the three of us, because we are the three human beings. Yeah, we are. We're the best
of being human beings. I'm not having any complaints so far. All right. You know, I heard on the
weekend afternoons that kids hang out at the playground and they're playing with their toys.
I heard on the weekend afternoons that kids hang out at the playground at the primary school. Maybe
we can swing over there. You might know people. You want to go swing in over there on the swings?
Yeah, I've never really been over there. I mainly just do my schoolwork and then other things.
What other things do you do? We might talk about that at some point, but I just want to
sell those cookies. Yeah, let's... Okay, so we'll stop at the playground and play for a little bit
and then we'll go sell more cookies. Well, maybe we can sell them at the playground.
Kids don't have money. Yeah, we've tried that. We made like 30 cents once. Oh, yeah, I guess that
wouldn't work. Yeah. What about the bait and tackle shop? Oh, yeah. People going fishing like to buy
cookies to snack on. Cool. Maybe we can hit some swings and then sell some cookies at the bait shop.
Hell yeah. We have a really cool twisty slide. You should check it out. Oh, so much fun. That
sounds cool. You get stuck in the summer though. Yeah, it hurts your ass a lot. Oh, I didn't mean
to say ass. I think I have my slippery shorts, so it should work. Nice. It's a bit cold for shorts.
Well, yeah, I kind of forget because I'm inside all the time and it's warm in there. Yeah, your
legs look pretty chilly. I might wear pants tomorrow. That's a good idea. Yeah, it's supposed to
almost snow tomorrow. Oh, yeah, I kind of forget where I am geographically sometime. I've moved
around a lot. Oh, that's cool. So where are you from from? I've been a lot of places. It's hard
to say where I've been from from. I mean, a little bit of here and a little bit of there.
Mom and dad like to say I'm from the world because we've been all over. Oh, that's cool.
I mean, we're all kind of from the world though, right? Have you been anywhere but here? Well,
no, but this is part of the world. Yeah, that's true. It's pretty nice here. Yeah, the creek to
play in is super fun. Yeah, it'll be better in summer. But sometimes it's fun to go when it's
really cold too. I was at this one creek one time that had a rope swing you could swing on,
and you didn't even have to go in the water if it was cold. You could just come back to the shore.
I like to pretend I was flying. But you didn't jump? No, there was still ice in it. Oh, yeah,
that's not good. Yeah, but it was just fun to pretend I was flying. We should try to install
one of those this summer in the creek. Oh, I think I saw some rope out behind the troop leader's
house actually. There's some good trees down there by the river. We could definitely do that.
I'm sure if we asked her she might. She seems to like us. We sold all of those cookies today
and we're going to sell more. And we could pick up all the litter down there and we could get a badge.
Oh, they have a lot of cats down there? No, not that litter. Oh, like garbage cans. Soda cans.
Outside of the Gas and Go slash Glyzzy Maxx Express, Vivian, you see that same black
limousine driving very slowly by the front of the store. Do you see this creep driving near us?
What are you talking about? What? What creep? That big black car.
Is it like the one that we saw earlier? I thought the president was in town.
We don't have anyone cool like the president here. Oh, but is it the big, the long black car?
The big one? The limousine? Is that what they're called? I thought they were limos. That doesn't
sound right. I think it's the same thing. I thought you had to be like a millionaire to have those.
Or the president. Or like a billionaire. Britney Spears.
Britney Spears. Can we try to like get closer to take a peek at it? I mean, you don't see it.
Well, can we like try to move to where we saw she was looking to try to view it? All right. I'd like
to move over to try to confirm if that's what I saw earlier. You still don't see anything.
Oh, I still, yeah. I don't know. Maybe we'll see it again. It was just there.
It's still there for you. Vivian, you can still see it. It's still right here. It hasn't moved.
It's weird and black. Vivian, why are you, we, point at it. Point at the car. Right there.
I don't see anything. Here. And I pick up a rock. Hit it with this rock.
Is it close enough that I can hit it with a rock? I have my slingshot, actually.
Oh, go for it. Okay. I want to sling a rock at it.
Yeah. You don't even have to roll for that. You see the rock hit the edge of the limousine.
The two of you see the rock fly through its path and hit the ground on the other side of the street.
Come on. You guys saw it hit that time, right? It hit right on it.
Viv, what are you talking about?
Does your friend do this a lot? I don't know.
It's scaring me a little bit.
This is weirder than her usual weirdness.
This reminds me of some of the movies that my parents told me to not watch, but, you know,
they kind of just leave their passwords around in the cloud that they forgot I had access to,
and I found them and I watch them anyway, and then in situations like this, I get really scared.
I think both of you need glasses. What?
I can clearly see it right here. You could hear us. We were whispering.
I thought I was whispering to you. Not very loud. Or not very quietly.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything mean by it, but are you sure you're okay? You are kind of scaring me.
The limousine pulls away at this point. Well, now it's gone.
But it was never there. It's gone now, but it was there.
It wasn't there. I don't know what you're talking about.
You guys didn't see the rock hit the limousine?
The rock hit the ground. It's just imaginary limousine.
In which case, yes, I saw it. I haven't had an imaginary friend in two years,
and you know that. Well, I don't know. Maybe you went back to your old ways.
There's nothing wrong with an imaginary friend. Mine was Jeffrey. I mean, I still talk to Jeffries.
We don't talk as much anymore, but that's because I'm trying to become a businessman.
That sounds really cool. That's why I'm here, because Dad wants me
to learn the business. What kind of business are you going to learn?
Well, right now I'm learning the cookie business.
Oh, well, yeah, but like what kind of business do you want to run?
Are you going to sell cookies when you're a grown up?
I guess it depends what the next business my dad wants me to do, but right now it's cookies.
Okay. 60 days of selling cookies.
60 days of cookies ways. That's what we say.
That's what's said. Awesome. All right. Let's do an afternoon of cookie sales.
So everybody give me another cookie sales roll with your charm.
Two threes and a four. Ooh, Bonnie has an awful afternoon
selling no cookies. A six, a three, and a four.
Okay. One six.
One six. So Maxwell, you are going to sell two boxes of cookies, and you are as well,
Vivian. So each of you get $10 and you sell two more boxes.
And then that's the end of your first cookie selling day.
How much money do you guys have combined?
I have 25. I have 40.
I have 15. Didn't you roll a six earlier?
Yeah, but you said I only sold one box of cookies.
My bad. So anytime you roll a six, let's count those as two.
So I have 20 bucks. So you got 20 bucks.
So you've sold four. And you guys get back to the clubhouse with your card of cookies.
And Mrs. Beans is not at the clubhouse currently.
Hmm. So it's just, just mostly you guys.
Well, we'll just park the wagon over here in the, in the bike space.
Yeah, that's a good spot for it. Yeah, it makes sense.
I don't know. I can't ask her. So I'll move it later if she wants me to.
Just make sure that we don't leave any cookies outside.
Yeah, they'll get all soggy and gross. And we'll have to pay for them.
I don't want to pay for cookies. And then we have to eat them.
Ugh. Yeah. I hate eating soggy cookies. Unless it's milk.
That's what I was thinking too. Then that's delicious.
That's why I was being quiet. I was thinking about cookies and milk.
Yeah, but cookies in rainwater is not nearly as good.
Do we get to eat the cookies at any point? If you buy a box.
I don't want to buy a box. Yeah, you have to buy a box.
They're super stringy about it. It's hard to be around cookies all day
and not eat the cookies. It really is.
And then last year we tried to talk Mrs. Beans into letting us eat the ones we didn't sell.
But she made us donate them to Troop 2. And that's why she's so annoying.
Yeah, she just said Troop 2 didn't sell any cookies, so they needed some cookies.
Which I don't think is fair. I guess it could make sense.
Not really. Oh wait, that's probably a lesson in the business.
So I'm sure we'll learn it. It just sounds like she won't let us
have all the cookies. And that really is a bummer.
So, then the three of you, you know, it's nighttime. Time to head back to your homes.
Well, see you Maxwell. Guess we'll see you again tomorrow?
Yeah, yeah, I'll be here. I'm gonna sell even more cookies tomorrow.
All right, me too. I gotta have a better day than this afternoon.
So yeah, let us know if you see that limo again. I'm worried about you.
Well, I still don't know how you guys didn't see it before.
I literally hit it with my slingshot. I'm a perfect shot.
Hit that can over there. Make a toughness roll.
We'll set it at a three. A four, five, and a two.
Two successes. You absolutely nailed it. In like quick shot fashion, even.
It's so effortless. You know, maybe it was us.
Maybe it was just a glare. Maybe the sun had a glare or something.
Because you're right, you are really good with that thing if you said it was there and you hit it.
I mean, it's hard to dispute that. Yeah, I guess. I just think you're crazy.
Well, you can think that, but I bet it came from Bob's junk and stuff.
Oh, that one makes sense. Was it nice or yucky?
I mean, it was nice, but you know, that place is like a front.
I'll walk home the long way down Junk Street and see if I look through the fence on my way home
and see if I can see it. I'll let you know tomorrow when I see you.
Okay. All right. Just don't let the mob see you.
What? The mob.
What's the... what do you mean? The mob. They're based in Bob's junk and stuff.
It's just a front. I didn't hear that.
Yeah, it's not a real business. They have a mean junkyard dog, too.
Oh. Well, I'll stay far away. I'll crotch. I can be sneaky sometimes.
Okay, just be careful. Mm-hmm. I'll see you tomorrow.
All right. We'll see you tomorrow. Bonnie, let's cross over the creek.
Oh, yeah. Do you want to sleep over tonight? Yes.
Awesome. You have to ask your mom.
Okay. You should ask my mom, though, because she'll say yes to you.
Okay. And then I'll just call my mom from your house and tell her that your mom said it was okay,
and I'm just going to do it. Yeah.
Yeah. Tell your mom. Don't ask her. Just say, I'm already here and it's dark out, mom.
Yeah. She'll be cool with that. Yeah, I think so.
Okay. You guys are crossing over the creek. What do you... Is it a fallen down tree? Did you guys
find a bridge? How are you crossing over if you're not taking the road?
I think we probably know of a crossing where there's like two big rocks on either side and
the log goes between them. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So we have to jump a little bit.
Yeah. Okay. Let's draw it on the map.
It'd be in a skinny part, because then it's right behind our clubhouse.
That kind of makes sense. There's probably another couple of blossoms that live in that
little street that you guys live on that crosses as well.
Yeah. There's a girl named Samantha that lives across the way from Vivian,
and she's super annoying. But she was the one that told us about it,
because it's closer to her house. Yeah. Yeah. We use it all the time,
but we avoid her. All right. Awesome.
So Vivian and Bonnie. You spend the night at Bonnie's house, which is a pretty nice house,
if I had to guess. Yeah. It's like a kind of rainy night, not downpouring. It's not like a storm,
but it is raining. And just after the two of you guys go to bed, Vivian, you're having a hard time
sleeping, thinking about what happened earlier when you hear the slow, low-pitched screech
of breaks out front of the house. Oh my gosh, Bonnie, wake up.
What? I just heard something crazy outside.
What did you hear? It was like a screaming, squealing tires.
Do you think it's that limo? I don't know. Let's creep up to the window.
I think my bedroom's on the corner of the house, so I have the window facing Vivian's house and a
window facing the road. Okay.
And we creep up to it and stealth up. All right. Bonnie, you don't see anything.
Vivian, you see this black limousine out front, out front of Bonnie's house, and slowly the back
door opens and an older man emerges from the back door of this limo.
It's parked right outside your house. This is so creepy.
There's someone getting out. Vivian, what are you talking about?
I don't know how you don't see this. You can see in the dark, can't you?
Yeah, I can see. I can see that there's nothing there.
We're unconcerned now. I'm concerned you can't see it.
I don't know what you're talking about. It's literally right there, and there's a weird dude
in your lawn right now. Okay, I don't know what to do about that,
because I don't see anybody, but like, I don't want some dude near my house.
Does your mom lock the door at night? Yeah, obviously.
And he points up. He doesn't move, but he points up to the window that you're currently looking at.
Oh my god, he saw me. She ducks, so I instinctively also duck.
What are we ducking from? He pointed right at me.
I don't know. What TV have you been watching lately?
Have you been watching the Fast and the Furious series?
No. Because that one freaks you out.
No, look, we did watch a scary movie earlier today, but I swear to you, I was not scared by it.
This is happening right now. Okay, I don't know what to do here.
Do you want to just go in the kitchen and eat food?
Do you have Oreos? Yeah.
Okay, let's go. Okay.
When you peek out the window again, the limo is not there anymore, Vivian.
And you guys can go down and eat some Hydrox.
No, my family only buys brand name snacks.
Of course. Of course they do.
Oreos sponsor us. Nabisco hit us up.
Like they need any help selling Oreos.
We're really good at selling cookies.
Yeah, there you go.
Oh, awesome. And the rest of the night is relatively uneventful.
And the three of you can meet up again the next morning.
This storm has, not storm, the rain has continued.
It's a light rain and the sun is not to be seen.
What a crappy day to sell cookies.
Yeah, but look, Max, we're real pants today.
Hey, Max. Hey, how's it going?
Good. I see you dressed for the weather.
Yep. We got the pants. I have these fancy galoshes and my rain jacket.
Nice. One of our mottos at the Blossoms is be prepared.
Oh. Always be prepared, actually.
Always be prepared. Yeah.
I think that's a good motto.
It's pretty good, right? You look prepared.
I'm ready to sell some more cookies.
All right. Let's go stack up the wagon.
Yeah. What'd you guys do last night?
I didn't see the limo over at the junkyard when I looked in.
Yeah, apparently no one can see the limo but me because it was at Bonnie's house last night.
You saw it again? I did.
Oh. And some weird creepy guy was like pointing his finger at me.
So now there's a limo and there's a guy you're seeing too?
Yeah. That's weird.
That's weird. Not like I'm seeing, like I'm hallucinating it.
Like I saw it. It was there.
I'm going to lean over and whisper to Max,
I think maybe we should talk to a grown-up soon.
I could email my parents. They usually get back in seven business days.
Yeah, that's a lot of days. I'm really concerned now.
Well, I don't know many adults aside from Mrs. Beans and she seems to get worried really easily.
Yeah, we should wait to tell her if we can't.
Yeah, let's not tell her right away, but I'm just throwing this out there.
What are you guys whispering about over here?
Hey, yeah, we're whispering about cookie plans. Let's go. Let's sell.
Yeah, today instead of focusing on the crazy chocolate blasters,
I'm going to try to really, really push the fancy funfetti confetti cookies.
That's a great idea. So you're rotating your stock is your plan. That's a phrase I've heard.
Rotating your stock. Yeah.
I like it. Yeah, that was a, it's a phrase from something.
And it sounds very businessy. Yeah, I think so too.
That's why we have a new cookie every year. Yep, we rotate stock and then our stocks go up
or something. Oh.
And that's how you make more money. They give us stocks. I never got stocks.
Oh, you get them when you're grown up. You can't have them now.
Oh, well I can have money now.
Well, you know what they say. It's your money. Use it when you need it.
They do say that all the time. I've heard that too. Yeah.
All right. You guys set out for a morning of cookie sales.
Give me another cookie check. So roll your charm.
Not good. One, two, and three, six. One, three, and four.
Okay. It seems the rain has had a definite impact on door to door cookie sales.
As Bonnie, your losing streak continues as you sell zero boxes this morning.
All the boxes that I've showed people got wet. Oh.
Yeah. You left it outside.
I, yeah, I didn't cover them well enough. I don't know. This tarp might have a hole in it.
We covered them with a tarp before we left.
My tarp has a hole in it. I don't, I don't know what happened.
Maybe if we talk to Mrs. Beans, we can get money for another tarp at the WWE.
We asked her for money yesterday. It's this unspoken thing. You don't ask her for money.
But it's a business thing because it's ruining the product. It's our investment is getting damaged.
So she's going to lose money if she can't sell these. I think.
It's the troops money, not Mrs. Beans money. Oh, yeah. She's going to take it.
Yeah. She's going to tell us we have to figure it out.
Which means I'll have to buy the tarp. I've heard that one a lot.
Yeah. You have to figure it out.
Yeah. They want us to like be grown ups and know how to do business, but
I don't want to spend my money on a tarp. That's so boring.
I want to buy like candy or something fun.
Maybe if we took our extra rain jackets from our homes,
we can put them on top of the cookies like multiple tarps.
That is a great idea. And then our coats will smell like cookies.
That's an even better idea. Cookie coats.
OK, so today we'll have lunch at my house and we can get raincoats.
I have lots of raincoats. Perfect.
Cool. I have siblings, so we'll just take theirs.
My mom has some old raiding coats. We can use those.
Perfect.
Why don't we head down to the Shady Acres trailer park and go door to door there.
That way, hopefully we can just get it done with quick
and then scoot the back way to your house around the junkyard.
Do you guys go that way?
Not usually. That's where the junkyard dog and the mob live.
Well, I always go around the fences.
Well, yeah, I'm not definitely not jumping a fence in that place.
Oh, I don't.
But the dog is just really kind of scary.
But yeah, we can do that plan. That's a good plan.
I like it. We can do it, I suppose.
OK, Vivian, you sold two boxes this morning, so make sure to take 10.
Maxwell, you sold an additional box.
No, I had a one, three and a four.
A four is a success.
Oh, sweet.
Right? No, it's a five. Sorry.
You sold no boxes. Loser.
Oh, wow, the mean one's doing all the work today.
Intimidating people into buying cookies.
I'm not going to leave your porch until you buy a box.
Your aggressive way is working really well today.
Yeah, maybe the rain, you know, just helps sell things.
I think it's that thing you do with your eyes.
The anger.
Yeah, that's the Spanish blood in me.
Oh, conquistador.
I think I'm the bull.
Oh.
Is it a conquistador?
The Spanish conquistador.
Conqueror.
Murdered all the Indian people.
Not the bull.
Matador.
That's a matador.
No, I meant conquistador.
Oh, OK.
I just misinterpreted that.
All right, so where did you guys go to sell cookies in the morning?
Just so I know.
Probably these houses like Bob's house and Ward's house.
OK, so you guys are on Bleak Street.
Because I only sold two boxes and those guys didn't sell any, so.
OK, and then you're going to make your way down.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
OK.
We don't need to go on Main Street.
We can cut behind Wasmo.
Cut behind the Wasmo world.
Mm-hmm.
And over?
Yeah.
OK.
So as you guys make your way between the Wasmo world and the junkyard video,
and the junkyard via across the yards, Vivian, you see parked outside of the trailer park,
this black limousine.
And you see an old man, the same old man from the night before.
And he's standing outside the back of the limousine with a sign that says,
Vivian Strauss.
OK, you guys see this, right?
See what now?
You really don't see this limo again with this creepy old guy.
And now he's got a sign that says my name on it.
OK.
He's like a rich hobo.
Why does he have a cardboard sign?
Why is it my name on it?
Rich hobo?
Have you been doing anything illicit?
I watched this documentary.
I'm almost 11 years old and I'm in Badge Scouts.
Or no, I'm not.
I'm in Brave Blossoms.
All right?
I wouldn't do anything like that.
I was just checking.
I watched a documentary where this one time there was mold on bread
and it made people hallucinate.
And then they hung them as witches.
Oh my god.
They burned them as witches.
Are you a witch?
No, that's not what this is about.
All right?
You really don't see this.
I don't see it.
It kind of seems like that is what this is about.
Well, it could also be some sort of repressed memory
that is coming up as a hallucination.
It's some sort of trauma you have to deal with.
So I'm going to go talk to this guy.
I was going to suggest you could talk to that guy.
Okay, I got you.
And I'm just going to...
Bonnie?
What?
We'll just follow...
Do you think we should follow close or stay far back?
I'll be honest.
Both seem kind of scary.
I think we should follow close.
I don't know what she's saying,
but if she has a breakdown, we should help her.
Okay.
I'm going to...
I have a Swiss Army knife in my pocket.
So I'm just going to...
Please don't stab my friend.
Oh, no.
Okay. I just thought maybe if we suddenly see a limousine,
I'd have to hit it with my corkscrew or something.
I don't really know.
That's a good idea.
We could pop the tires.
Pop the tires.
Yes.
Okay. They can't be that hard to pop, right?
No, I'll get my corkscrew out.
All right. Smart.
I don't have any weapons, but I do have a first aid kit.
We're following Bonnie as she's walking.
I'm not supposed to have this.
I found it in one of the drawers at the Smith's house.
I think maybe the last person that stayed in the space I'm in
left it there on accident, but...
Cool.
Oh, please don't tell anybody.
It's not like I stole it.
I just found it.
Hey, finders keepers, man.
Cool. Cool.
Hey, you.
Why you got my name on your sign?
Well, my name's Kevin.
And unfortunately, your time is up.
My time?
Like what? I got to go home?
I don't know you.
No.
Like...
Like, you know, your time, your time, like your time to die, you know?
What?
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So
marijuana and heroin are like the same thing.
They're both horrible.
Let's cut that out.
Don't endorse this viewpoint.