Welcome to Tales from the Crit Season 3. Bigger,
badder, and stickier. By joining us today, you
have been officially upgraded to Crit Cat status.
So, welcome to the club. Tales from the Crit
is an actual play podcast where we focus on smaller
story arcs from some of your favorite RPGs, as
well as some of the less known or obscure ones.
We also play some highly narrative tabletop board
games and also some micro RPGs. All of those
feature a revolving cast of players, so you're
going to see a lot of variety there. And as always,
I am your host and your Crit Keeper, Riley Groves.
We're so glad to have you here with us today.
Now let's get into the episode. Content warnings
can be found in the description. Thank you. Welcome
back to Tales from the Crypt. I am Riley Groves,
the Crypt Keeper. And at the table, I have AK.
What's up? Tim. How you doing? And Connor. Hello,
hello. Very normal greeting from Connor. All
right. They're going to reprise their roles.
Actually, I kind of just start out their roles
as Raekwon Starks, the Asiago Ranch Chicken Club.
Order. Greetings. Okay. That's the voice you
settled on. Great. Spuddy. Baconator, Order of
the Baconator Fries. Spidey. All right. And I
guess this is how we're determining our voices.
And Dave, Order of the Double Stack. Yep, that's
me. Nailed it. All right, before we get into
the adventure, we're going to answer another
question from our Ultimate RPG Campfire Card
Deck, which I finally found. This question is
about your character's present states of being.
Do you believe more in fate or free will? Oh,
sorry. Go ahead, Spud. It would, of course, have
to be fate from the moment of our creation. The
wheels have already been set in motion that we
will live for a short amount of time and then
be consumed, hopefully, by the almighty Wendy.
Otherwise, what is the purpose of being here?
Whoa. All right. That was deep. It was deep.
I liked that. It was deep. If you didn't listen
to the character creation episode, you should
probably go back and listen to that before proceeding
further to get an idea of Tim's character, Spuddy.
Raekwon or Dave? Well, we all dream of being
devoured by Wendy. Dave the Double Stack is more
of a believer in free will. Okay. You have the...
You know, will and power to choose your own path,
and may it always lead you to a fresh, never
-frozen beef patty. All right. And Raekwon Starks,
in the Lorraine Order of the Asiago Ranch Chicken
Club Sandwich Order, how do you feel? So, the,
uh... That wasn't Raekwon. The teachings of Lorraine
has taught us that we believe in fate. There
is no free thought. We go through life knowing
that things will happen because they have already
happened. And the magic will help us guide us
to this true answer. All right. Those were all
way deeper questions or answers than I thought
I was going to get. So great. Hold on to that
as we keep going. You guys, some of you seem
fated for this adventure. Are we ready? Dive
into fresh Tovia. Aye. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right.
Oh, yeah. coolie means here you are adventurers
in the realm of beef's keep where the nations
have been splintered over major disagreements
and how to treat the realm's people creeping
veil and the united clown nations have led their
people into a collective darkness known as the
deep freeze while the world currently feels like
a cold and desolate place you reside in the one
nation that remains a true beacon of hope fresh
tovia Fresh Tovia is known for its lush fields,
signature dishes, and red -headed queen, Queen
Wendy. As queen of Fresh Tovia, Wendy has clapped
back at all attacks on her borders. She is strong
and has maintained her nation's integrity despite
the growing pressure of other nations. That red
-headed queen comment got me thinking, doesn't
Ronald McDonald also have red hair? But he's
a clown. He's a clown, so it's fake red hair?
It's fake red hair. Where he's just been outcasted
from... The Order of Wendy's. He's a jester.
He was the court jester and he's trying to make
his own thing. We begin our story in the square
of the capital city, Freshtovia, on the day of
a major celebration, the Feast of Fifty. The
city is crowded and most businesses are closed.
You live in the realm of Freshtovia and currently
find yourself in the capital city of the same
name. The reign of the cherished Queen Wendy
has hit a milestone. She has ruled over Freshtovia
for 50 years, and people from far and wide have
gathered throughout the city for the momentous
occasion. They're celebrating with an unrivaled
festival, and the city square is full of Beef
Keep's finest vendors selling some of the rarest
goods. There are games and competitions happening
throughout the city. The streets are adorned
with streamers and flowers in the much -adored
queen's favorite colors of white, light blue,
and red. The festival goers have all started
to gather near the city circle. Queen Wendy is
scheduled to make an address to the people at
any moment. But as the time ticks by, the crowd
begins to murmur. You stand near the city circle.
The crowd is currently too dense to get any real
shopping or conversation done. Behind you is
a row of houses that seem fairly locked up because
the residents are most likely in the crowd awaiting
the queen. To the east there are two buildings,
Wendy's Restaurant and Inn, and the Snacksmith.
And to your right, the Royal Gardens. What a
splendid evening. It would be a great time to
walk the gardens. I was also thinking it would
be a good time to check out the gardens. I could
go for a lovely stroll. Hopefully no one's littered
trash anywhere in there. I heard that Wendy keeps
a tight grip on any litterers. You guys head
to the southwest, to the Fresh Tovey Gardens,
where exquisite produce is picked and sliced
fresh daily. Within the gardens stands a bronze
statue of Emperor Dave, Wendy's father. The bronze
shines bright as the sun casts its brilliance
across the city. Dave was a great man. And so
was his wife. Someday you will also be this great
man, Dave. I can only hope to try and continue
to spread the... The word of fresh, no ever frozen
beef patties. You do your best and it will someday
be seen. Look at all of those potatoes in the
field. One day they could be like me. They could
be so lucky. As long as they don't eat themselves.
You know we are not allowed to do this. This
is a personal jab at me, Raekwon. You do this
all the time. Well, I have seen you lick yourself
from time to time. It is the only way it does
not hurt. Oh, God. The statue of Emperor Dave
is quite tall, standing nearly ten feet high.
The bronze is warm to the touch from the sun's
rays. Dave was a well -respected, bespectacled
man, his likenesses smiling and holding his spatula,
thought by many to have been given an otherworldly
blessing. The plaque on the base of the statue
reads, Never Cut Corners. Spuddy walks up to
the warm, bronze statue and hugs it. Mmm, this
reminds me of the oil vats from whence I came.
Do me a favor and give me an intelligence roll.
I rolled a 9 plus 2 so 11 while being so close
to the statue and being around the plaque you
notice that there is a Corner of the plaque that
is actually busted off and it looks like a pretty
clean break Dave come quick. It looks like someone
has cut Dave Oh, my God. Someone has quite literally
cut the corner of this plaque. Who could do such
a thing? This is against the principles that
Dave stood for. It's also against the plaque,
as it says, no cutting corners. This is a desecration
to our Lord Dave and our friend Dave. A desecration
indeed. I'm going to look around and see if I
can find where this cut corner has gone. Okay,
as you move around the statue, there's no sign
of the corner, but you do encounter a hunched
over robed man kind of being pretty shady hanging
out behind the statue. And as you come into eye
line with him, he calls you by your name. Hello,
Dave. Hello, sir. How did you know my name? I
know. Of you and your companions, Spuddy and
Raekwon, I've been waiting for you. Oh, that
just gets a little weirder. What have you been...
Well, we're here now. What have you been waiting
for? Or why have you been waiting, even? I am
one that helps keep the realm running smoothly,
and I have been sent to find the three of you
and implore you for some help. Okay. I mean,
I think we're all... In favor of helping the
realm run smoothly, let me just talk to my compatriots.
Hey, guys. This guy knows our names. He follows
behind you. He gets closer to you so that when
your companions come, he's right there. Who's
your new friend here? Who is your companion?
I am no one important. I'm just trying to make
sure things go according to plan. Whose plan?
The Queen's plan. You see, she is going to make
her speech shortly, but I do believe there is
a plague attempting to infiltrate Freshtovia
and ruin the festival. That's terrible. What
can we do to help? Well, I could use you to help
get rid of the plague known as the Hunger, and
the source of the plague is in the nearby French
Fry Forest. Spuddy, how do you feel about going
into the French Fry Forest? David, you know how
this makes me feel. My stomach is grumbling.
But I do not like the way that this person has
used the term use you. What do you think, Raekwon?
I'm down. So quick. As an order of the Lorraine,
order of the... Chicken Asiago Ranch Chicken
Club people, I knew he would be down. But do
not worry, my good friend Spuddy. The French
fry forest is not comprised of French fries.
Oh, it is simply a name. That makes me both happy
and sad. What does the forest of French fries
consist of? Mostly plants. Pre -French Fries.
Oh, Spotties Buddies. You see, I am a constant
watcher and keeper of the lands, and I have the
key that will help magically unseal the French
Fry Forest. I'm sure you've known that it's been
sealed for quite some time. This is news to me.
I come from far away and did not know about this
locked -off forest. Is it related to the Frozen
Lands? Of the deep freeze? Because we don't like
them. We don't. However, this is to the north,
while the deep freeze seems to be secluded to
the south at the moment. Well, that's good. We
should do what we can to prevent, you know, any
more damage from coming to the forest. Agreed.
So, will you help me defeat the hunger and prevent
it from ruining the festival? I do like that
he asked us to help this time instead of saying
he'll use us. It does make me feel more comfortable
with this agreement. I will gladly defend the
honor of our nation and our chief and executive
chief guy, Dave, there. And Queen Wendy. Of course.
Well, excellent. Instead of fighting the crowds,
I actually have a small gap in the hole over
there in the city walls that we could sneak right
out of. What is with all the cloak and dagger?
It is of utmost importance not to rile everybody
up here at the festival. Can you imagine all
of these people getting worked up over something
that they cannot defend themselves from? I did
not say that we would have to leave here screaming
of some evil. We could simply walk out as the
calm and legal citizens that we are. It's mostly
due to the number of people in the way. Well,
if you got a shortcut, I guess we can try that
out. But before we get there, you said you're
a constant watcher. Do you know who cut the corner
of this plaque? I did not. I'm a constant watcher
of the lands, not of the statue. Why am I doing
this voice now? I started as an old man. We've
been talking a very long time. We have been.
Anyways, I have not watched the statue, no. I've
watched the lands. Do you have, like, a spare
corner in your pocket or anything? No. Feeling
very bad about this sign, but, uh... I guess
we can get going. It sounds pretty serious. Guys,
do you have any other business in the city? I
was ready to go when he said he needed our help.
So trusting. So eager. Our fate is already planned.
All right. He leads you over to a small crack
in the city walls, just as he said he would.
The French Fry Forest is directly to the north.
And he pulls out a key and extends his hand out.
Which one of you would like to take the key?
I will take it. He hands it over to Raekwon.
Raekwon, make a constant... No. I knew it. Almost
dropped it. Now, head through the gates, and
I will be here when you return. Can we get back
in through this crack, too? If you can remember
where it is, you could come back through the
crack. Oh. Well, I'll remember. So do we have
to squeeze through or is it going to like open
up? I thought you said it was like a... Oh, just
go on. Get through it. Go through the crack.
I have to get back to the castle. Oh, right.
Squeeze through here. All right. You have spent
the majority of your lives living and training
around Fresh Tovia. Kind of. Doesn't seem like
Dave did. So you guys know the surrounding area
pretty well. The French Fry Forest lies directly
to the north of the city proper, and you can
see the forest and smell its trademark salty
aroma from the city's gates. Despite the olfactory
delights, the once familiar forest is now quite
ominous. You lack the knowledge on the directions
to get much farther, though you know that the
Ice Jester's Realm lies to the south, and all
who venture there have encountered certain freezing.
It seems it may... One day, become your destinies
to alter the fate of Beef's Keep and confront
the United Clown Nations. But for today, it is
certainly more prudent to focus on the task at
hand. So you guys do have the option to go north
or to abandon this quest and head anywhere else.
I definitely don't think we should go south to
the Frozen Clown Land. Yeah, I'm not trying to
get frozen. No. Always fresh. So we don't have
to go to the... French fry forest. Technically,
no, you don't. Okay, but now we have this key
that goes somewhere to the French fry forest.
And this guy is waiting, and do you smell that
salt? Like, we should just go check it out at
least a little bit. I mean, I'm sure you've got
to be pretty excited about that smell. I do love
the salt. Hmm. Actually, yes. I could use a fresh
coating of the salt on my Body. Okay. Do you
guys head towards the forest then? Yeah. All
right, cool. The other answer was death. Pod's
over. As you approach the forest, the sense of
foreboding only increases. The plant life seems
to have grown together to form a sort of wooden
wall around the forest's perimeter. Examining
the wall as you walk toward the forest, you notice
a large wooden door with a keyhole that conveniently
looks like it will take your key. Whoa, did you
guys see this? It looks like there's a keyhole
here. Should we try this key? I mean, I guess
so. I'm just really astonished by the way these
plants have just grown into this wall. Yeah,
it is quite peculiar. I've never seen that before
in this land. I'm quite familiar with this place,
too. It does not seem natural. I'm glad you're
familiar. You know, I've only heard about it,
but I didn't think it was real. Oh, it looks
pretty real. We should be very careful. That
key is appearing to fit perfectly in the lock,
and it seems convenient it was just handed to
us. Who knows what lies beyond this door? Well,
I'm going to give it a shot. Let's find out.
Put the key in the hole. Turn it. After placing
the key... A green light shines out from the
keyhole, and the key dissolves into nothingness.
The vines and branches that make up the door
recoil, almost slithering away as they reveal
an open passageway into what feels like a living
hallway. And although you are in the forest,
the living magic within this area causes the
plant -made walls and halls to writhe with life.
The hallway is about 20 feet before you make
it to your first. Crossway so ahead of you there
is two doors. There's one on the right and one
on the left and the path does continue Straight
in front of you. Just open the door to the left.
I mean I touched the door first make sure it's
not hot. Okay Last doors, they're just there's
no doors. They're just just kind of rooms Think
of room is not a proper term as it's not like
a structure. It's just a opening in the in the
woods Okay, so it's like a path that I have to
choose. Not like I can just look in here. That's
a closet. Would you say that two paths diverge?
The path stays straight. There are two chambers
on the right and the left. So you can see, if
you were to look into them, yes, you could see
almost everything that's in them. They're not
that large. I say we take a look to the left
up here and see what's coming up on us. Or what
we're coming up on. All right, looking to the
left, as you look into this room, there are two
small creatures with sharp teeth and twisted
horns, and they turn their eyeless heads towards
the door. Vaguely, you remember tales of these
creatures, always referred to as pangs, known
to mostly attack midday and late at night. Disturbed
by your entrance, they snarl and lunge to attack.
Everybody, roll me 1d20 for an initiative roll.
What do we add to that again? Nothing. Gotcha.
I got an eight. I got a three. Seventeen. This
one was rolling a eight. Got some hunger pangs
in this room. Got to defeat them with a good
meal combo. What did you roll, Dave? A three.
Raekwon? Eight. One of these pangs lowers its
head and rushes right at you, trying to ram you,
Spuddy, as you come into the room. Does a 13
beat your defense? I have a 13 plus 1 to my defense.
So a 14. So it does not hit. It does not. Okay.
One of these pangs rushes right into the group
of you, missing you guys entirely. And it is
Spuddy. It's your turn first. All right. I am
going to take a toothpick and throw it at the
remaining, the one that has not run through the
group yet. Okay, great. That's a six plus my
grace bonus, so plus one. So that's a seven.
All right, a seven does miss, so you whip a toothpick
clear over this other Hanger Pang's head. Raekwon
the Chef, you are up next in initiative. All
right, I'm going to throw my knife at the closest
guy. Okay. 16. All right, 16 definitely hits.
Two damage. Solid hit. Dang, Dave, why'd you
roll so low on initiative? It's the way the dice.
The way of the Dave. The way of the Dave. The
other hunger pang comes rushing into you guys,
into the group here with its head down, attempting
to ram you. Dave, double stack. Does an 18 beat
your defense? Yes, it does. Shit. It hits you
for eight physical damage. All right. What? However,
Dave, it is your turn. That was a mighty hit.
And I'm going to swing my spatula at the one
that just hit me. Okay. I rolled a two. Plus
my strength of two. Okay, so a four. So a four.
Four doesn't hit. Shit. Not off to a fantastic
start. One thing I did forget. Boom. Big thing.
Anybody eat Wendy's on their way here today?
Yes. A .K. I did not. A .K. gets an additional
bonus. I mean, I ate so much when I stopped twice.
Yeah. All right. We all did. We went together.
We went together. You guys are all lying. All
right. A .K. What did you eat from Wendy's today?
I had myself an Asiago Ranch chicken bacon. They
still have one, huh? They sure do. All right.
Is that all you ate? French fries. Okay. You're
going to take a plus one to your arcana stat
for the remainder of this episode. And a plus
one to your intelligence stat for the day. Cool.
Did you get any drinks? Yeah, I got a soda. That's
a plus one to your grace stat for the day as
well. Wow. Dang, yeah. Just mowing down a meal
here at Wendy's would be fantastic. If I go there
after we're done recording, will it work toward
my next episode? Negotiable. We'll see. Okay.
All right. We won't do the debuff one because
that's just mean. All right. What if you eat
nothing? If you eat nothing, that's the worst.
Really? No. All your points are just halved.
You're playing this while you're hungry. Gross.
You're listening while you're hungry. We're going
to kill you faster so you can go get something
to eat. All right, so we're back at the top of
the order. Raekwon, does an 11 beat your defense?
Does not. One of these hunger pangs gnashes its
gnarly teeth at you, trying to bite into you,
but fails. Spuds, it is your turn. Okay, I am
going to grab a toothpick, another one out of
my, I guess, satchel. Quiver wouldn't be correct.
Well, yeah, I can have a quiver for javelins.
And then I'm going to spin around to stab the
one that... Just charged through. All right.
An 11. Oh, plus strength. Plus. Because I'm stabbing.
Grace. But I'm not throwing. I'm stabbing. Okay,
I'll take that. Sure. Plus two. So 13. Definitely
hits. Oh, nice. All right. And that is a 1d4.
It's a two. Stabbing at anyone in particular?
The one that just charged through. The one that
just charged through? Yeah, the one that just,
just charged through. I'm imagining essentially
as he has gone through and missed, I'm simply
grabbing it and spinning to try and get him as
he's passing through. All right, Raekwon. I'm
going to back away as far as I can. Are you going
to break free first, or are you just going to
run? I'm just going to run back. Okay. You're
going to take an attack, a cheap shot, as they
call it. However, a 10 doesn't beat your AC.
No. Defense. Okay. You're able to run back 25
feet. Great. Now I'm going to throw my knife
at the one that Tim just said. Okay. Roll a d20.
19. 19 definitely is a good hit. 4 -3. All right.
You bury your knife into this hunger pang and
it lets out a gnarly little squirrel. Squirrel?
Squelch? Screech? Screech. Let's out a gnarly
little screech. As you land a good hit onto it.
Furry, bushy -tailed rodent just comes out. However,
it reels as it just got hit twice. And bites
you, Spuddy, for stabbing it and then still being
the closest. It hits you with a natural 20. Going
feast mode. Oh, that's exciting. It is. Oh, Spud.
Luckily, that only gives it a five for physical
damage. Dave, order the double stack. It is your
turn. All right. I'm going to try and hit the
one that hit me for eight points of damage last
time. I got a 20. Oh, shit. Peace mode. All right.
What are you hitting it with? I'm hitting it
with the spatula, which is 1d10. So it automatically
does 10. Automatically does 10. Plus I roll another
one. Yep. That's six. So 16. Feast mode. Nice.
Let's go. You immediately take out the one that
you were swinging at, leaving just the one that's
been stabbed and skewered with knives. Absolutely
overkill on this pang. Good job, Dave. I got
one. He did get me first, though. With him being
dead, Spuds, it is your turn. All right. How
many do we have left? There's only one. Oh, okay.
I'm going to attempt to rip the javelin out of
it and spinning it kind of in a 180 to come down
again with the other side of the javelin. Nine.
Plus strength? Mm -hmm. That's including strength?
Seven plus two, nine. All right. You're able
to pull it out, but you definitely don't hit
it again. I have lost some of my grip from licking
all my salt. We'll get you some more salt soon,
bud. Spud. Spud Bud Raekwon how far away am I
you're still 25 feet so you ran away from the
whole group so like picture Dave Spuddy and this
hunger pang up there and you're back here beautiful
I'm gonna stay where I am then okay however you
did throw your knife away oh yeah so it's up
there with them I don't know what I'm gonna do
I did throw a javelin that missed the first one
can he find that scoop it and use it So he ran
back out of the hallway? Oh, the opposite way.
That's back in the room, so. You guys go. You're
doing a great job. Woo! Cheerleader Raekwon.
All right. Raekwon, how about you hold your turn
for a moment? Okay. Let's let Dave go first.
It's not Dave's turn. It's the HungerPang's turn.
He tries to bite you again, Spuddy. However,
it only rolls a nine, so it does not beat anybody's.
defense so david is your turn okay i'm going
to try and attack the remaining one with the
spatula oh that is a big oops that's a one yep
oh no wow 22 one what's your defense rayquan
12 the spatula comes flying out of dave's hand
and whips back just missing your head and landing
on the ground next to you Raekwon. Thank goodness.
Actually, Raekwon, it is your turn. You held
your turn. Okay. So it is your turn. I'm going
to pick a spatula up and throw it. Can I do that?
Is the spatula throwable? Nope. It's not a throwable
weapon. So I will not do that. You can use it,
though. Okay, I'll pick it up and I will get
closer. Okay. Close enough to hit it? Sure. All
right. You... Are not proficient with any of
them, but you can use any of them, right? That
was your character? Yeah. So go for it. Give
me a straight d20 roll. Four. Yeah, four doesn't
do it at all. Okay. Back to the top. This thing
took no damage last time. Hey, Spuddy. Great.
It's your turn. All right. That's going to be
a feast mode to... Complete that spin with that
javelin and make it work the second time around.
Alright, so you automatically do four damage,
so go ahead and give me another d4. That's a
four. That's eight damage, solid. And a two.
You only roll one more damage die. What? I'm
sorry, buddy, but you would get advantage on
the next attack round. I gotta get a better weapon.
That's what I forgot to do was the advantage
on my next attack. Oh, yeah. Well, I'll try to
remember that better, too. I'll also try to remember
that better. However, this javelin, you send
it straight through the pang, running it through
with this javelin and killing it deftly. You
guys are left in this hallway alone with two
dead pangs at your feet. I gather my javelin
that I threw earlier and also Raekwon's knife
and I hand it back. Here you are, Raekwon. Thank
you, Spud. And Dave, here's your spatula back.
Oh, thank you. I don't know how I flung that
so far. Normally I can't even throw it. I try
to. That was quite terrifying. It went right
by my face. Glad it didn't hit you. Me too. Pretty
heavy. Because I'm pretty weak. That's why I
ran away. It almost turned into a splatula. I
got hit pretty hard by that hunger pang. I'm
going to check for some snacks in this chamber
here. Great idea. Yeah, there's not really anything
else in this room. You guys have the one room
that would be behind you, and the path still
goes forward. Are there any items that I should
be removing from the pang for later crafting,
such as a tooth or tail hair? Maybe a claw? There's
no crafting mechanics in Wendy's Feast of Legends.
Can we eat the pangs? No. They're part of the
hunger, so they are a plague. They will, in fact,
make you feel worse. We burn them. Shall we go
look in this other room? Perhaps we got some
snacks over there. Of course, if room one was
so good, room two must be better. I like the
way you think. Let's go check out this chamber
across the hall. My people need some snacks.
Gotta hook them up. The room to the right is
small. Entering really doesn't amount to anything.
There are some twigs and leaves and maybe a few
acorns strewn about from the formation of this
botanical labyrinth. But there is no food in
here. Well, that was a dud. What's your health
at anyways? Five. Pretty harsh. It was a pretty
hard hit. Maybe we should have gathered snacks
before we came on. I will say you can use your
check marks as health items too. Let me tell
you real quick what that would cost you, however.
Oh, no. For the buffs, if you are eating the
item that matches your order, then you'll gain
advantage on all attack rolls for the day. Oh,
shit. Damn. So I should have had advantage. But
we already made it canon that I can't do that.
Yeah. It does the opposite. It does the opposite.
Solid. Okay. Totally missed that line. Thank
you for pointing that out. Raekwon, for the remainder
of your rolls today, go ahead and take advantage.
Yo, you really make out if you fucking eat some
Wendy's before coming to the table. Yeah. All
right. I don't have any of, like, health items
or anything on my... There are only three, and
they're right next to the standard stables, which
includes the horse, donkey, and mule. These are
specialty items. A lemonade costs 7 gold and
heals 1d8. A strawberry lemonade costs 10 gold.
and heals 1d12, and chicken nuggets cost 5 gold,
and heal 1d4. That's crazy. So can we just, like,
sit in this room and just take a brief break,
or do we have to have food for the, like, do
I have to buy one of those things? I don't think
you have to buy one. We can come across it in
our travels or something? Something like that.
I mean, what it does say... Like, yeah, how did
the meal mechanic work? We should go back to
the other chamber. I think I saw strawberry lemonade
dripping out of the hunger pains. Maybe that
is what that was. Comes back 30 seconds later.
It is too salty to be strawberry lemonade. Now
I'm even hungrier. All right. Now you can opt
for a snack. So I don't think you have to have
them on you, but like during a battle encounter,
obviously you would need one. So if you want
to opt for a snack, uh, you can just plop down,
grab a quick snacker and recover one D six HP.
Okay. I'm completely down with that. If you guys
don't mind, I want to sit in this smaller room
and have a snack. Sure. I can build a fire to
keep it safe as well. Oh, I'm also. down 5 health.
I would love to partake in this snack. Do I have
to roll a d4 to see how good the snack is? It's
a d6 for your HP recovery. I already have 14
arcana, so I'm just going to build a fire to
keep it safe. Right on. I'll roll just for fun.
Yep, sure do. No, no, no. You have a 14. You
still have to roll above a 14. Like, you have
to roll your d20 and then add your bonus and
hope that score is above a 14. What'd you roll?
Three. Plus two, five. Nice. Hey, advantage on
all rolls today. I rolled a one for my snack.
I'll be there. You rolled a one? Yep. Puts me
up to six. HP, we got this. Before you eat, we
must pray. Dave is good. Dave is great. Let us
thank him for this day. You know that one too?
Of course, Dave. You have been whispering it
in your sleep. We all whisper to ourselves sometimes.
I know this because I collect your salty tears
as you say those words. Well, that's a little
bit much. I would appreciate it if you don't
do that from now on. But if you do, just try
your best not to let me find out. Because I'll
be a little bit more weirded out. Oh, I never
let you wake up. Until the morning, right? Oh,
every day. Good night's sleep is important. I
appreciate you. So, uh... ahead of you guys is
a hallway and it seems like it's curving slightly
to the left and as you go down it there's a stone
door in front of you but you get the feeling
the force is guiding you where you need to go
it's not giving us much of a choice um what's
everybody's defense stat uh 14 total 12 okay
and what are your what are your health set 12
8 Always. Oh, that's right. You only have 8 HP.
That's my base. Woof. What's the base stat numbers
about? So that basically determines how good
you are at something, right? Which determines
your bonus. So if you think about it as a 1 to
20 scale, 20 you'd be amazing, right? Which would
give you that plus 5 bonus. Zero your shit at
it, which gives you... I don't think it goes
below a two. So those base stats, as you increase,
like you might get some weapons or something
or like an item that would increase your base
stat by plus one, plus two. And that translates
into what your bonus would look like. So if it
hits that next threshold, you know, 14 plus,
you're going to move into a plus three on your
bonus. So they're not like, hey, like you said
earlier, hey, I already have a 14. It doesn't
translate exactly. You still have to make the
check. and add your bonus to it. But it should
be easier because you're really good at it. I
mean, you did bad, but yeah. So then I still
nominate Spudsy to go through the door first.
Hmm. Okay. So you head up to the stone wall,
and as you come across the stone door, there
are three large dials on its face. The dials
have the numbers 1, 2, 3. and four on them and
face north, east, south, and west. Each dial
currently has the one at the top. Upon further
inspection, there's an inscription on the door
below the dials that reads, thrice repeating,
nice for eating, a meal, a deal, a steal for
certain. This seems to be some sort of cryptic
puzzle. Hmm. I... I think the easiest way would
be to simply start turning the dials. What is
the worst that could happen? What are you going
to turn them to? It sounds like they should maybe
be all the same, thrice repeating. Or should
they all be three, thrice repeating? Oh, that
is clever. I thought they should all be fours
because there are four sides. Oh, that's a good
idea. There are four dials? There are three dials.
Oh, okay. But four sides of the directions? Yes,
they all have a number. One, two, three, and
four on them. There are four sides to the wall?
Or the pillar is just, it's not a pillar? It's
a door. It's just a stone door with three dials.
And the dials have four sides? The dials each
have four sides. And one's on the north side,
the south side, the east side, the west side?
They all just have, like, the dials point north,
south, east, and west. The dials are square?
And that's where you can have the pointer be?
Yeah. Okay. There are three? There are three.
In a row. And they either point up, down, left,
or right? They all have numbers on them. One,
two, three, and four. Okay. And they're all just
like, they point north, south, east, or west.
All the numbers. So you just gotta turn. You
can only turn the dials so that numbers are facing
in certain directions. Gotcha. I got hung up
on north, south, east, and west because they
can only face those directions if the dials were
on the ground. Yeah, so don't get hung up on
the actual directions of it. It's just to kind
of navigate or navigate your mind into what it
looks like. But it's not actual directions. I
think... We should all grab a dial and then one
at a time, together, move from one to two to
three, thrice repeating. Okay, that sounds good
enough for me to give it a try. Yeah, let's try
it. So I grab the middle dial. The left dial
for me. I will grab the top. The right one. All
right. And what are you guys doing? We're on
the count of three. Going to turn the dials all
to the number two. You turn all three dials to
the number two? At the same time. You guys ready
to turn the dial? One. Two. Oh, three. Two. Two?
Two. Oh, no. What you guys do has no effect.
There's nothing that happens on the dials. All
right. On to three, then? One, two, three. Turn
the dials again to three. Yes. Three, two, one.
Three. You turn all three dials to three, and
nothing happens. Maybe the thrice is the third
turn. Oh. But. Which way should we turn? Back
to two or to four? I mean, I think we should
keep going. 4 -4 -4 does certainly sound like
a bargain. 4 -4 -4. If only there was another
dial. Oh, 4 -4 -4. Oh, shit. Three fours. Yeah.
4 -4 -4. Let's do it. Oh, yes. One, two, three,
four. Four. No, four. As the last one of you
slides the dial to the four position aiming up.
This door does split in half and begins to slide
to either side, becoming completely enveloped
in the plant life around them. Walking through
the doorway, the plants then grow back in behind
you, sealing you off from the rest of the chamber,
leaving you just able to go straight ahead. The
path continues for about 25 feet before it turns
left ahead of you. I don't care what everyone
says about us. We are quite clever. Third time's
a charm. Fourth time. Third time's a charm. Fourth
time? The first fourth time is special. I remember
my fourth time. Salt. The salt. Oh, sorry. Thank
you, Raekwon. I forget. I forget. Yeah, you forget.
I wish I could forget. Think about that tonight
in your dreams and it will be an especially good
night for me. Let us proceed on past this 444
door. Alright, as you move further in, turning
left, there is a room to your left. Or the hallway
continues going straight ahead and then curves
pretty sharply to the right, leaving you with
very little visibility. All right. And that's
where we're going to pause for today's episode.
So we will get back into it next time. But until
then, we will see you next, next Tuesday. That's
it for today's episode. We hope you've enjoyed
listening as much as we've enjoyed playing. If
you have, go run and tell all your friends so
that we can turn as many people into CritCats
as possible. Tales from the Crit is a Wolfbeard
Games audio podcast. And if you like us, please
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page and our YouTube channel. Both of those are
at Tales from the Crit Podcast. All right. Bye
-bye. 1d8. It's his only strong move. And I rolled
a 6. And I was like, I can't hit him with that
for the first hit. And then I re -rolled and
it was a 6 again. I was like, damn, that's fate.
Because someone here believes in that.