Welcome to Tales from the Crit Season 3. Bigger,
badder, and stickier. By joining us today, you
have been officially upgraded to Crit Cat status.
So, welcome to the club. Tales from the Crit
is an actual play podcast where we focus on smaller
story arcs from some of your favorite RPGs, as
well as some of the less known or obscure ones.
We also play some highly narrative tabletop board
games and also some micro RPGs. All of those
feature a revolving cast of players, so you're
going to see a lot of variety there. And as always,
I am your host and your Crit Keeper, Riley Groves.
We're so glad to have you here with us today.
Now let's get into the episode. Content warnings
can be found in the description. Welcome back
to Tales from the Crit. I am the Crit Keeper,
Riley Groves, and I am joined at the table by
Connor. Salutations. Stefan. Hello. And Rebecca.
Greetings. We are here to do another spooky season
game. Hopefully better than the last one. We
might have messed that one up a little bit. Hope
you still had fun. We are here to play another
game by Themeborn Games, which we've played several
of these on the podcast. This one is called Escape
the Dark Castle, and we are just a bunch of prisoners
in a dark castle trying to make our way out.
If one person dies, we all die. In it together.
In it to win it. I thought it was, wait, one
person dies, we all die? I mean, we don't all
die, but we lose. Yeah, we lose. Yeah. Because
I remember the last Dark Sector, one person died,
we still lost, but two of them won? Yeah, we
still continued on, acting like we wanted to
see what happened. We died in the finale. We
lost in the finale. And technically, we had lost.
Gotcha. This game, much simpler than the last
game. The rulebook is like six pages long. We've
already drawn our characters. Who do we have
at the table? Connor, who are you playing? I'm
playing as the Abbot. Okay. I'm playing as Smith.
All right. I am the Cook. And I am the Miller.
Why does mine look so much uglier than everybody
else's? Oh, no, mine's ugly as fuck, too. Oh,
yours is, like, scary as fuck, though. You got,
like, a Frankenstein scar. Yeah, the scar. And
also just kind of very, like, gaunt. Yeah. Yeah,
I don't look healthy. We all have a different
character die here with a different wisdom, cunning,
and might score on it. Hopefully we're well balanced
so we can take on the dangers of this dungeon.
The way this game works, we have 15 chapter cards.
We have a starting card and an end boss that
we'll be moving through. We'll read those cards.
There's a bunch of item cards as well. We each
start with 12 HP because we are a four player
team. And that's pretty much all the setup that
there is. All right. Cool. So we're prisoners
in the castle that we're trying to escape. That
is correct. We'll find all of that out, actually,
if you want to hand me the start card. After
years of incarceration in the depths of the Dark
Castle, you finally break free of your cell.
In a small stone room adjoining the cell block
stands an old wooden chest. The lock is open.
Draw an item card per player now. Okay, what
did everybody get? Something helpful, hopefully?
Yeah. Go ahead. I got a stale loaf of bread.
can discard it to restore 2 HP to my character.
That's cool, because I got a partially rotten
apple, and I can discard it to restore 1 HP to
my character. Still love a bread. All right,
y 'all got mad bread. I got a rotten shield.
Whenever I would lose HP, I reduce the amount
by 1 down to a minimum of 1. So mine's helpful.
All y 'all got bread? I got an apple. Oh, right.
Yes. Only partially rotten though, right? It's
only partially rotten. I'm going to eat the good
side. Okay. That's why it's only one HP. Yeah.
You hear footsteps approaching. You must not
linger here. You make for the exit, slipping
away and disappearing into the darkness. Turn
the first chapter card now. So whoever wants
to move into the... Connor seems to want to.
And then he just put his hand down like, nope,
I don't want to be the first in the door. All
right, Abbott. Why don't you go ahead and take
on the first chapter card? Okay. Well, that's
a terrifying picture. Great. As you pass a heavy
wooden door, it flies open and a ragged madman
bursts through. He wields his shackles as a weapon
and his crazed stare sends you a clear message.
You stand between him and freedom. You must try
to roll might or a double in one attempt. You
must try to. Yep. All right. Well, might's like
one of your middle stats. It's the fists. Yep.
Might is the fist. Okay. Hey. That's a double.
All right. So success. You managed to deflect
his wild flailing. Begin combat. Oh, okay. So
that's a fist, an eye, and then four. All right.
Okay, very strangely, it's a fist, an eye, a
fist, an eye, a fist, and an eye. So it's three
mites, three cuttings. And yeah, I'm not going
to sit out this fight. I'm going to get right
in there. I've got three wisdom. Oh, we can jump
in? My highest is the fists. All right, yeah,
we all attack as one. So we'll go ahead and all
roll our character dice. I got double eyeballs.
Okay. You got double eyeballs. Connor, you got
an eyeball. I didn't. I rolled my one side of
the die that's the worst, the one that we didn't
need. And Stefan, you did the same thing, but
you're shielded. Yep. I am also shielded. Okay.
So the smith and the cook. Both shielded. The
Miller and the Abbott, not so much. So Connor,
how much does that guy do when he hits? It says
two in the bottom right corner. Is that what
it is? That is it. All right. So anybody that's
not shielded takes two damage and we move on
to a new round of combat. Oh, I would only take
one because I've got a shield. Huzzah. I forgot
about that. Anybody want to rest this round?
No, I'm fighting. Okay. If you rest, you recover
one HP. I'm going to rest this round. Okay. I'm
going to attack. I got two fists. I got two eyeballs.
I got an eye. All right. So I block. You block.
Yep. I get hit. You get hit. So you're going
to take damage. Yep. All right. The abbot. covers
one. We gotta take out this madman, guys. He's
not that difficult. Do I still get hit, though?
No. No? No, you were resting. So I wasn't in
danger? Yeah, I think if you're resting or you
have the shield, you're good. It'd be so sure
to be like, yeah, I'm gonna sit back and recover
one HP and then take two HP damage while you're
back there. Alright. Anybody resting? Nope. I'll
say, from our experience the last time, this
game is pretty hard. I would recover HP when
you can. I might rest. Okay. I'm going to rest.
I got a fist. I got a fist. I was still resting.
Okay. Only one person can rest at a time. Okay.
Then if Stefan's going to rest, I was not resting.
All right. It doesn't matter. All right. We killed
that crazy... Oh, he was just trying to escape
like us. Yeah, well, we beat him to death because
he tried to kill Connor. He tried to kill the
Abbot. Go ahead and draw an item card. Brew of
Might, a potion. Discard to apply a single might
at any time. All right. That's pretty cool. And
we can only have two items at a time. Yep. Okay.
All right. Connor want to hand me a chapter card.
Here you are. You stumble upon a recently vacated
guard room. A pot of steaming broth simmers on
the stove and fire still smolders in the grate.
You hear the sound of angry voices and footsteps
heading your way. You grab what you can before
slipping away into the darkness beyond. Draw
an item card. A partially rotten apple. Nice.
I'm going to discard that now and regain that
HP, thus keeping my hands free of items. All
right, Rebecca, want to read a chapter card?
Yes, but you should call me Chef. Yes, chef.
Do you want to read a chapter card? I do. Oh,
man. Cool. A hooded man approaches. He looks
cautiously over his shoulder and then whispers,
asking if you wish to trade. This is what he
looks like. Oh. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. He's got a
lot of stuff in his jacket. Classic shitty character.
Yeah. I love him. Oh, my. Chef loves him. Chef
loves him. Okay. Each player must choose one
option. Trade. Discard any item and draw two
more. Or negotiate. Try to roll a double in one
attempt. On a success, your silver tongue pays
the dividends. Draw an item card. Failure. Your
primitive appeal falls flat and you get nothing.
I'm going to try to roll a double. Okay. I didn't.
I'm going to try to roll a double. I didn't.
Almost see if I can double. I did not. Okay,
well, I'm going to trade in my item card for
two more. Okay. Yeah, that's a good call. That's
just a little apple. I didn't want to get rid
of my shield. It seems pretty worthwhile to have.
I got distilled wisdom as a potion. Discard to
apply a single wisdom at any time. Okay. Is that
the star? That's the eyeball. Okay. And a cunning
concoction, also a potion. Discard to apply a
single cunning at any time. That's the star.
Yes. Okay. All right. Hey, I'll go in first,
but Connor will read the card. Okay. He's got
a sweeter voice than mine. From the darkness
ahead, an arrow whistles past your ear. Before
you can react, Another buries itself into your
shoulder, and you slump against the wall in agony.
You lose 2 HP. Yes. You, the smith. Cautiously
creeping along the passage, you find a man's
body riddled with arrows. There is no sign of
the attackers, so you check to see if he was
carrying anything of value. Draw an item. Nice.
Okay. I get shot, and I get to get an item. I
got a partially rotten apple. I'm going to eat.
Good idea. A lot of apples. Yeah. This place
is gross. People should really finish eating
them. Does the bread restore HP, too, or no?
Yeah, the bread does, too. Oh, all right. Cool.
I'm saving that for when I'm scared. All right.
Abbott, we're flying through. I feel like this
is a piece of cake. It's been much easier than
I had anticipated, that's for sure. So let's
see if our luck continues. You ascend a narrow
spiral staircase, emerging onto a windswept bell
tower. As you cross the tower, the bell swings
into life, its dreary peal shaking your very
bones. Any player who cannot roll wisdom or a
double in one attempt loses 2 HP as the sound
begins to drive them insane. A double or what?
Wisdom. Or wisdom. So eyeballs. The eyeball is
wisdom. I got a double, but it's the fists. It
still counts? Yep. Yay. You got a wisdom. Got
a wisdom. I immediately take two HP damage. As
do I. That sucks. Wisdom's my highest, too. Wisdom
is my lowest. The eye is also my lowest. All
right. Let's see. Okay. We're doing great. The
smell of manure is thick as you enter this chamber
flanked by wooden animal stalls. An agitated
beast of burden has broken free of its pen and
now blocks your way. It is cornered, its mighty
horns ready to gouge anyone who gets close. It
looks like a bull, but it looks like if it was
mixed with a bat. It's super gross looking. That
is pretty gross. It does look like a... It's
got bat face. No bat wings, bat face. It has
a combat special, by the way. Each round when
it attacks, this creature deals an additional
one HP of damage to any players who hit it. It
has one wisdom and four player tokens, so we'll
give those a mighty roll. So that is three wisdoms,
one cunning, and one might. And it does two damage
when it hits. So I'm going to clobber it. Or
I'm going to attempt to clobber. Anybody clobbering
with me? Yep. Definitely. I will attack too.
I got an eyeball. Is that cunning? Eyeball's
wisdom. I got a double fist. Okay, there's one
fist. I got a cunning, so we've removed one cunning,
one wisdom, one strength. I got the two stars.
Okay, so you're just shielded. I'm shielded.
You're shielded. I'm not. You're not shielded.
I'm not shielded. And you hit it, and I hit it.
So that's three HP for both of us. Ouch. However,
I take two because I reduce it with my shield.
And it's down to just two wisdoms. Is anybody
going to rest? To be honest with you, I only
have, like, wisdom is one of my weakest. I don't
even know if rolling it is worth it. Hmm. What
is everybody's HP at? Mine's at nine, but I also
have a card that gives me a single wisdom at
any time. So I'm going to use that. Okay. We've
removed one, leaving just one wisdom. Uh, Stevan,
what's your HP at? I'm at ten. I have nine. I'm
going to sit this one out. I think you guys got
it. I'm going to recover an HP. What were you
at? Eight. All right. Connor already got it.
Murdered that bitch. All right. We have defeated
the Beast of Burden. Go ahead and draw an item
card. Thanks, everybody. I don't think you take
damage because he killed it on that turn. Yeah,
that's correct. So I don't think it would hurt
you. You don't take damage. Why did I get the
item? I'll take it. And I'll use it right now.
It's an infested wheel of cheese. Ew. It's grotesque,
but I discard it to restore one HP to all characters.
Yay. I think the reason why Connor gave that
to you is because you started the encounter.
Got it. That is the reason. All right. Chef.
Chef's turn. Uh -oh. With a piercing wail, a
hideous creature emerges from the darkness ahead.
It drools at the sight of you. As a group, choose
one item and then begin combat. Here's what he
looks like. Oh, jeez. Yeah. Like a really scary...
Kind of minotaur -y? Yeah. As a group, choose
one item. So we can surround the beast and attack
it from all sides. We would need a fist and a
person. So a fist per person? A fist and then
the peoples. Or we can stay together and fight
on the move, in which case we need a fist, two
stars, and a person. Oh. I think the first one,
the fist and the rolling one. Yeah, but then
you've got to use an item. You have to discard
an item to do that. I'll get rid of my bread.
Why? I don't know. It says choose an item. Can
you read it again? I don't understand. As a group,
choose one option and then begin combat. Oh,
choose one option. Do you want to surround the
beast and attack it from all sides or stay together
and fight on the move? Stay together and fight
on the move has more things to get. Oh, so the
difference is it does three damage if we stay
together and it does two. So if we surround it,
it's going to do three damage per round. And
if we stay together and stay on the move, it's
going to do two. Let's surround it. I think so,
too. Okay. Worth it. All right, so we've got
one, two might, one wisdom, two cunning. I got
a wisdom. I got two fists. I got the two fists
here. I got a cunning. All right, so I'm shielded.
I'm shielded. You're shielded. Wait, we need
another cunning? Yes. Can I discard this? To
apply a single cunning at any time. You can.
Hell yeah. All right. We killed that bitch in
one shot. Murdered that little fucker. Okay.
That grotesque. I thought he would be tougher.
Yeah. Did the right thing. All right. Draw an
item card. We're cruising through. I think we're
already halfway done. I think so. I got a partially
rotten apple. Hey, hey. Hey. The difference between
this one and Escape the Dark Sector, Escape the
Dark Sector is set up in like actual chapters.
You move through like three cards in chapter
one, two, three, and then the boss, I think.
And so you can tell when it's going to ramp up.
This one has none of that. You just draw 15 random
cards from the entire deck. So they can all be.
They could all be really bad or just be like,
oh, you're just walking through. Yeah. All right.
That's you. That's me next. You're about to catch
a tripwire. Release a shower of acid from above.
All players must try to roll cunning or in one
attempt for each player. Success. You dodge the
trap. Failure. The acid splashes and sizzles
you and smokes and burns through an item you
carry. Discard one item. If you have two, shuffle
them face down and discard one at random. If
you have none, lose one HP for acid scars. Okay.
Great. What do we have to roll? Cunning. Oh,
yeah. Which one's that? The eyeball? No. The
star bit? Yes. The eyeball is wisdom. I'm never
going to remember those. Anyway, I got the fists,
but I'm shielded. I got the fists, but no. I
got the cunning. So, success, you dodge the trap.
Failure, the acid splash begins to sizzle and
smoke, burning through an item you are carrying.
Discard one item. If you have two, shuffle them.
If you have none, lose one HP. Yep. Fuck. Did
you have an item? Nope. You ate your apple? Of
course I ate my apple. Ah, balls. Well, I mean,
it's just kind of equal. Just right back where
I was before the apple. Yeah, I was going to
say, to be honest with you, it just equals out
because it's the apple and the... Yep. I lost
my shield, so now I feel less good about this
game. I got this. I dodged. I dipped. Nay nay.
A drunken guard stops you and demands to know
your business. He is unsteady on his feet and
his breath is vile. As a group, choose one option.
Push him. We can bribe him, discard one item,
and he will forget he ever saw you. Or we can
misdirect him, nominate a player to roll wisdom
in one attempt. I've got four wisdom. I've never
rolled one yet. That's a wisdom that's face up
right now. I keep putting it down that way so
I remember my name. I elect that we have the
Miller role for wisdom. That's my... Yeah. Yeah,
we can do that. He can do this. Do we end up
fighting him if I lose? Cunning. Failure. The
guard tries to detain you. You struggle free
and escape, but all players lose one HP during
the scuffle. God damn it. Okie dokie. I continue
to roll cunning most times, even though there's
only one of them on my die. Hey, don't feel bad.
I continue to roll the eyeball, although there
is only one of them on my die as well. Why does
everything have giant horns in this game? It's
a horny game. You interrupt a beast man devouring
a fresh kill. He raises his head, sinew dangling
from his gore -smeared mouth. Then he charges.
You must try to roll a might or a double in one
attempt. I rolled a double. Nice. Success. You
react quickly and dive aside. Begin combat. All
right. So he has a strength, a wisdom, and then
we roll four. That's a lot of wisdom. All right.
He's got two might, four wisdom. And he does
two damage per attack. So I'm going to attack.
I'm going to slug him. Likewise. Me too. Okay.
I'm playing. Fuck. I got two fists. All right.
So you take away his two might. I got one fist.
I got a wisdom. I got a wisdom. All right. So
we're doing good in the combat. How much damage
does he do? He does two. All right. And he's
down to two wisdom. What's everybody's HP at?
Anybody need to rest? I have seven HP. I have
seven, too. I have eight. I have nine. I'll fight.
You want to fight, Connor, or you want to rest?
I'm going to fight. Okay. You rest. I got the
most wisdom. Okay, then I'll rest. I'll rest.
I'll stay in. All right, I'll fight. I did not
help. I didn't help. I did not. Oh, shit. All
right. I'm going to sit this next round out.
Oh. Yeah, sorry, guys. You got this. Uh -huh.
Uh -huh. I got a fist. I got a fist. I got a
double cunning. Or double wisdom. Okay. I got
double stars. You got double cunning. You're
protected, at least. Okay, Stefan, the chef or
the smith? You guys probably have... I'll do
one more round, but... I have five HP. You should
rest. Yeah, I'm gonna do one more round, and
then I need to rest on the next one. Oh, I got
a wisdom. I got a... God. Hit again. I got a
cunning. Yeah, I need to rest on the next one.
So I gain an HP back because I rested? Yes. I'm
going to stay in. I'm only down to four. I'm
down to two, so I'm taking a break. Yeah, you
take a rest. I got it. I got it, too. I got it.
Of course. Okay, cool. I'm going to trade my
stale loaf of bread to the smith. Nice. I would.
So wait, did I rest until I get one? You get
one back. Throw this and do three? Yeah. Yep.
All right. Let's draw an item card, see if that's
helpful at all. I talked way too many times about
this game being too easy. We're just making it
right through with Cakewalk. Fucking dumb. Stefan
told you to shut the fuck up. I told you to shut
up. I know, I know. Every... What do we get,
Connor? A super duper feast of... Oh, we got
a shield. We got a rotten shield. Awesome. Whose
turn was that? Yours? Who has the lowest HP?
They should use it first. Six. Four. Five. Six.
Okay. All right. And who wants to go? Who wants
to go through? Okay. At the end of this passage
is an old stone well. As you reach in to test
the water, it thrashes into a violent torrent.
I would never have reached in, guys. You have
disturbed a malevolent spirit. Begin combat.
Combat special. You, me, are incapacitated for
the first round of combat, during which you do
not fight and may not rest, but you will still
take damage as normal. You recover at the beginning
of the second round. Eyeball, star, person. Eyeball.
One wisdom, one cunning. And then we roll. We've
got one might, two might. Eyeball star cunning.
So we've got... He does two damage. Great. All
right, we've got one wisdom, three cunning, two
might to overcome. Are we all in it together?
I'm in it. I'm in it. The chef can't play, though.
I got a wisdom. Two mights. Two mights. All right.
So you both blocked? Yeah, we're shielded. I
only take one. We have to get Cunning's. Oh,
God. Okay. Yeah, we need three Cunning's. So
you took two damage? Yeah. All right. I took
one damage. A Cunning. No. And I'm shielded.
Okay. We got rid of two Cunning. I'm blocked.
I'm not. What are you down to? Three. Take a
rest. I got four, so yeah, you should rest. Yeah.
Rest. I got it. Nope, I didn't get it. I got
it. You got it. He got it. Oh, all right. I wouldn't
have gotten it. Okay. Not doing good. What's
everybody's HP at now? Three. Three. Four. One.
Two. Three. You're at three. I'm at three. So
it's three, three, three, four. We're doomed.
Knocked down pretty quick. It was that one encounter
that ruined... Rotten apple. Yep, ruined our
whole lives. I'm at four now. Okay. Do you want
me to go through the door? Oh yeah, now we should
really think about who's going next. Based on
who has the most health, too. Is one of the people
that has four. I have four. I do have four. You
have four also? Yeah, but I just went... What
potion do you have there, Abbott? Might. Oh.
I feel like we rolled three mites on the first
roll in the last go. It hasn't been. We roll
a lot of mites. Yeah. Mites are easy. A lot of
mites in prison. Awful lot of mites around here.
All right. Well, I will proceed first through
the next doorway. Your spirit. Your spirit is
suddenly wrenched from your body. Paralyzed.
You can only watch as it drifts above you. You
are incapacitated. To restore your corporeal
balance, the other players must roll in unison,
keeping track of any wisdom rolled until they
have rolled a total wisdom equal to the number
of players. After each attempt, you lose 1 HP
unless the total has been reached. If you have
not succeeded after three attempts, the curse
is broken and your spirit returns to your body.
Okay, so we need to roll four. The smith, the
cook, and the miller need to roll four wisdom.
Okay. Right? Yeah, and every time we don't meet
the criteria, he loses a life. Yep. To the maximum
of three. Okay. Yeah, so I still won't die. I
can't possibly die this round, but let's just
roll some. I got an eye. I got an eyeball. Oh,
my God. I'm going to get an eye. I know I'm going
to get an eye. I've got four eyeballs on this
dice. Come on, double. I got a might. Nice. All
right, so that's one damage. All right. You guys
do that again. You guys did really well last
time. I did not. No. Oh, I got a double might.
I got might, too. I got a cunning. One more time.
One more time. We can save him. We got this.
Nope. Ah, I got a wint. No, it's cock. They failed
you. Damn, I got a might. Son of a bitch. All
right, guys. That was really weird. I'm not feeling
great now. Hey, Miller, why don't you let me
borrow that shield? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you
go, man. Oh, all right. Pass me that. Pass me
that card. I'll walk into the abyss next. It
still kills him. Should I let you take the shield
if you're going? I mean... Are you down to one?
I am down to one. I guess I'm going to get one.
So you just keep the shield. I'll keep the shield.
I'm going to need it. You hear a scream from
behind and turn around too late to avoid the
clutches of a lurching ghoul. Oh, scary. As a
group, choose one option. Flee. You get away,
but you lose two HP shaking off the ghoul. Fight.
You begin combat. What is your HP? Mine's three.
What is it doing combat? What is the ghoul's
combat attack? I would only lose one. Right?
Yeah, because of the shield. Combat special.
I am so fear -struck that any wisdom I roll in
this chapter has no effect. And wisdom's my highest,
even though I can't seem to roll it. It does
two damage, and it has a cunning of one and four
people dies, so we'd have to roll four dice,
so it has five. And does two damage to me, which
is negated down to one. So we just let it hit
him and we run. That feels like the better option
at this point. Okay. I'm not disagreeing. All
right. I have three. I'm going to give this partially
rotten apple to Abbott. Oh, and I'm going to
eat it right away. All right. So you're up to
two. You going? Yeah, sure, why not? Oh, my God,
we're so close, by the way. In the sweltering
chamber, a blacksmith is forging a sword. He
is also absorbed in his craft that you spot the
opportunity to steal from him. As a group, choose
one option. Move on. It's not worth the risk.
Turn the next chapter card. Steal. Nominate a
player to roll a cunning in one attempt. I think
we should leave it alone. There is a success
and there is a failure that go along with these.
Do you want to know those? I think we should
leave it alone. I think we're too close to the
end to fuck around. I mean, we're going to die
at the end anyways. Yeah. I don't think I want
to try and roll a cunning, but I really... Oh,
you got a ton of cunning. I do have... The two
cunning's and a double cunning. Like, half my
die is cunning. What's everybody's health? Two.
Four. Two. If you fail, we all die. Let's leave
it. All right. So, failure. You're caught red
-handed by the blacksmith. Turns his hammer.
Each one of you loses two HP on your retreat.
Okay. So, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. No, I'm good
without that. All right. I mean, we don't stand
a chance. Any longer. But it's more of a chance
than if we're dead. That's true. All right. This
is the penultimate card, actually. And we die.
The aroma of hot food has led you to the kitchens.
On a table near the door is a steaming meat pie.
As a group, choose one option. Move on. It's
not worth the risk. Turn the next chapter card.
Or steal. Nominate a player to roll two cunning's
in three attempts Success all players gain one
HP Failure we begin combat. It's no immediate
Hits, but it does have two dice plus the rolling
day. So we have Six things we'd have to get.
All right. Does anybody want to roll for it?
Yeah, let's do it. Sure. Oh shit. All right I
actually rolled it. All right. Your best stat
isn't even cunning, but that's two and three
attempts. That's two and one attempts. Yeah.
Two attempts. I rolled it. That's true. No, that's
true. Still, it was two cuttings and three attempts,
and so success. All players gain one HP. All
right. Up to three. Up to three. I have five.
Holy shit. Yeah, I might last two turns. I have
four. Okay. I've got a shield. Oh, wait. Does
somebody get an item first? Yeah, I mean, I think
we pick one up on every chapter, so. Oh, maybe
it's just when you have combat. Well, whatever.
Yeah, draw an item card. Fuck it. We found some
bread in the kitchens. That actually makes sense.
Anyone have less than three? I have three. No.
I got a four. I have five. Go ahead and take
it. I'm going to take it. Now I have five. I'm
feeling strong. Okay. It's the final chapter
card. The final countdown. This is it. You have
reached the final challenge. One last obstacle
stands between you and freedom. The entire army.
A giant thing with horns. It does have horns.
Yep. It is the terror of the underworld. Very
fitting for a spooky season. Yep. This looks
real bad. Pain only makes me stronger, he growls.
At the end of each round, if Terror of the Underworld
has not been defeated, he grows in strength.
Roll a chapter die and add it to the row of the
remaining die. Begin combat. He has one might.
Three wisdom. I need two more of those dice.
And then he adds another might, another wisdom,
another might, and another might. Damn. So he
has four mights, four wisdoms. Okay. I'm going
to rest. Are you? No, no, no, no. I'll jump in
here. I'm going to roll so many fucking wisdoms,
it's not even funny. I'm going to use my brew
of might to immediately get rid of one might.
Okay. I rolled a cunning. I rolled a might. Isn't
cunning one of your worst stats? It is my worst
one, and the only one that has no dice on here.
Two mites. All right, two mites and you're blocked.
And a cunning. All right. So we did not do it.
He does three damage to everybody. Fuck. I blocked.
You did block. Does it still damage? No. It doesn't
damage through block. Oh, thank God. I'm down
to one. I got two. Is anybody taking a rest?
No, there's no real point for me at this point.
We're going to die here. It seems unlike you.
So he's down to one might and five wisdom. Is
anybody going to roll? Everybody's just jerking
their dice. I'll just jerk it off through this.
I got a might. I got a might. I got two mights.
You got a fucking cunning. I got a cunning as
well. Excellent. And so he... Oh, wait. I'm shielded,
so I'm still alive. You said three damage? Three
damage. One HP. Me too. Oh, no. So they both
died. Keep fighting the good fight. Technically,
we lost. Yeah, we did lose. All right, so the
abbot's dead and the chef's dead. So the only
way that we could actually win is if you get
a... Oh, wait, there's another dice coming in.
Yeah. So we replace the might. So he's still
at... Double might, shielded. Double wisdom shielded.
Yo. So he does no damage. We might have a chance.
I have double... Oh, no. He rerolls one, so he's
back to having one might. Three wisdom. We just
need to keep doing the exact same thing we've
done every time. I have one wisdom. I have one
wisdom. And we die. And he is left with the might
and a wisdom, and we are left dead. Negative
two. We did not defeat the dungeon. It is so
easy. We're at the fucking end. We're at the
end. We made it to the end. Yeah. We did. Honestly,
if we didn't have that one abysmal round back
right after I was bragging about how good we
were doing. That's why you never brag until the
game's over. Never brag. God damn it. One encounter
can change the whole outcome. Good game, though.
I haven't played this one. No, I don't think
we've played this one at all. I mean, I didn't
play the Dark Sector either. That's true. You
did not. It was cool. I think Dark Sector is
a little bit... narrated or narrated better like
i don't know i don't know how to explain that
do you like the story better yeah yeah um yeah
this was a little tough because it doesn't like
flow you just are going through different rooms
i kind of like that that was pretty cool um i
know there's a lot of expansions for this one
actually not that you would need them probably
i can't imagine playing this game enough times
to make it through like all the different because
I think there's probably at least twice as many
more than we went through. I mean, I could see
you getting through it if you were at a card
shop and everybody was playing, I don't know,
40k and you were just waiting for your turn to
get on the map. Yeah. And you're like, hey, let's
just play this for a while. Yeah, I mean, it
is a good game and an easy one to jump into.
It did take us right around 45 minutes to get
through, which isn't bad at all. It took us like
four seconds to figure out, which is really nice
after playing this Naligaster situation. Yeah.
It was good to feel like I wasn't a complete
idiot. Yeah. I don't know why that one was so
tough. Anyways, so that was our spooky season
episodes. We will also have a murder mystery
like last year, a live episode coming out. If
you haven't checked out our Patreon yet. please
go and jump over there, take a look. We play
some story arcs of some games we've been through.
Right now we have the We Deal in Lead epilogue
up, as well as some solo games where I play Hildegard's
Spire's End and Connor plays Iron Helm. And we'll
be continuing to do those special episodes forever
until the end of time. So go check them out.
All right, guys, that does it for us today. Next
time, I think we'll be coming back with another
RPG. But until then, we will see you next Tuesday.
That's it for today's episode. We hope you've
enjoyed listening as much as we've enjoyed playing.
If you have, go run and tell all your friends
so that we can turn as many people into CritCats
as possible. Tales from the Crit is a Wolfbeard
Games audio podcast. And if you like us, please
subscribe and leave a review wherever you get
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at Tales from the Crit Podcast. All right. Bye
-bye. I was afraid he was doing the choking symbol.
And I was like, oh no, we haven't eaten in so
long. What the fuck is he choking on? Ghost dick.
Jesus Christ. I could have handed you one. Yeah,
but she didn't reach. I didn't realize that it
was going to be that hard. I thought you were
just going to grab. Anyway, I was thinking he
looks like Stefan's character if he got old.
This is what he'd be doing. That's like every
character I've played in every game. Like, hey,
you want some stuff? Your beard does look just
like the Abbott's. That's amazing. Yeah, I was
hoping it would. I think it's called the flying
V. Is it? I think you're right. Is this my new
look? Fuck yeah. Just gotta get my eyes a little
crazier.