Welcome to Tales from the Crit Season 3. Bigger,
badder, and stickier. By joining us today, you
have been officially upgraded to Crit Cat status.
So, welcome to the club. Tales from the Crit
is an actual play podcast where we focus on smaller
story arcs from some of your favorite RPGs, as
well as some of the less known or obscure ones.
We also play some highly narrative tabletop board
games and also some micro RPGs. All of those
feature a revolving cast of players, so you're
going to see a lot of variety there. And as always,
I am your host and your Crit Keeper, Riley Groves.
We're so glad to have you here with us today.
Now let's get into the episode. Content warnings
can be found in the description. Welcome back
to Tales from the Crit. I am the Crit Keeper,
Riley Groves, and I am joined at the table by
my friends, Derek. Hello. Connor. Hey, hey. And
Rebecca. Hello. And we're very excited, so we're
going to pick up right where we left off. This
room seems pretty empty. Why is he chained and
dead? I didn't want to go up close to that thing.
Is he, like, special because he's in this room?
Separate from the other prisoners? Why don't
you go put one of those rings on this dead guy's
fingers? Hey, big man, is this one of your friends?
Not friend. He puny weak -minded. Not me. Me
big strong. You're not that big, Brax. You calm
down now. Brax Bonebreaker, I am the biggest
one in my clan. Or was. Clan no more. Because
they're all down here? I don't know where they
went. I went looking for brother. This is where
they kept the ones that could be manipulated
in their brains. Not Brax. And he shakes his
head. Oh. Can I search the dead guy? Yeah. I
want to know way more before I start pulling
these rings out to see what happens. I search
him. You search him, and he looks like he has
been emaciated and has been dead for a while,
and he's just kind of hanging there. This is
gross. And this is inside the door? Yes, this
is inside the chamber. It doesn't lead to anywhere
else. It's just a big hole. Nowhere else, but
go ahead and make me a wisdom check. 14. Does
that beat your saving throw? As you look around
this room, there are other shackles on this wall
that are just hanging there that doesn't have
anybody. But there is one set that isn't hanging
like the rest. It looks like they're kind of
held up a little bit more. They're not just dangling.
Like they're taut, kind of? Yes. So they're not
like loosely dangling. They're not like uncuffed.
They are tight. There's a different force on
them, although you can't tell what that is. But
they're definitely dead. Maybe an invisible person's
hanging. I don't know what you mean. They're
dead. Okay. The person in the middle of the room
that we did see. That person's dead. There's
shackles along the wall. They're all dead. Everybody's
dead. There's one person in this room. They're
dead. They're the one you just looked at. There
are other shackles just like hand hands. There
are shackles hanging. Except for one set that
is not hanging like the rest. Oh, there's...
An invisible person in this one. Yep, that's
right. Oh, shit. Oh, gosh. And if you could let
me out, that'd be super great. Why are you invisible?
So that they didn't know I was here. I don't
know if you know, the imp's really dumb. Oh,
okay. Can you be un -invisible? Yep. And he materializes
in front of you. Oh, my gosh. Yep. I'm really
hungry. If you had any food, that would be first.
Unshackling me could be second. And getting me
out of here would be third. Or whatever order.
Any of those things. Those three things would
be great. I've been in here for days. Well, I
don't think this key will work. Do you have good
lockpicking, Rosser? Or some sort of... Is that
a dex throw? Sure. I would think it would be.
Yeah, sure. Let me give it a try. I don't have
any food for you, sir. Well, food -wise, we have
some toasty dog and some fillet of imp. Well,
the imp's poisonous, I think. The dog, you know,
we don't usually eat that where I'm from. I will
eat that. I will eat that right now. I will eat
anything. Just want to warn you that it is self
-cooked. Huh. And I'm going to go ahead and take
a crack at these locks on the bindings. Jared's
a 13. Does that beat? Yes, it does. You unshackle
him and he rubs his wrists as he kind of takes
a step back. A little unsure of the three of
you, but like not too wary. You guys don't look
like any of the other folks here, although I'm
a little skeptical of you. And he points at you,
Aurora. Well, that's rude. I just helped you
out of here. And you're an invisible man caged
in a dungeon. Yes. So I don't exactly know how
to trust you either, but at least you're out.
At least I'm out, and I could get out. I could
get out of here if you'll just let me run away.
Let me out the door. That's so fast. Kind of
seems like you'll die, but... I'm going to die
in here. Yeah, I'm going to die in here, just
like every other dude. You guys, and he looks
at Truck and Ruzzer, you guys should get out
of here too. Not a great place, especially you,
big guy. Why especially me? You're a big buff
dude. Yeah. Yeah. I've been killing my way down
here. We didn't let you out. Who have you been
killing? Little imps. And? Ghouls. And? Young
ladies. Any guys? No. Mm -hmm. Are you saying,
have you seen guys down here? I've seen plenty.
I've seen this guy, and he points at Brax. He's
been trapped in a cage. I thought he was dead.
I saw this guy die in front of me two days ago.
And every other guy that I've seen come through
here either leaves and goes into that room and
gets tortured and killed or becomes a sacrifice,
I guess. I don't really know, but I don't want
to be here. So there are no other guys. They're
all dead. So the ladies are taking... This guy
seems like he knows a lot. Why don't you take
us to where they're doing the sacrifice der thing?
No, not for me. Why'd you get really demonic
sounding just then? Because the creaky bird did
a weird voice. Okay, cool. No, not for me. I'm
going to get as far away from there as possible.
Not so fast. Could you at least point us in the
direction? Uh, no. Okay. You're too big, guys.
Make sure he keeps up with the two of us. Let's
go. Listen, I am not a fighter. I mean, you look
like it. No, I don't. No, I don't. Well, you're
a little sickly right now. Yeah, I've always
looked this sickly. Oh, gosh. So you've just
come down here. You don't even know. How did
you get down here? This guy always said he was
captured. Similar to him, I was captured. I was
in this whorehouse, thought it was going great.
Turns out it wasn't. Oh yeah? Five ladies come
at you all at once? That's what I paid for. And
now I'm here. And I've been here for days. Sounds
like you volunteered. I didn't volunteer. I paid
money to sleep with several women at a time.
I've saved up for a long time. Yeah, have you
never heard of foreplay? No. You've been chained
up? That's not what this is. So they came in.
You have to pay extra for that. And it didn't
work for him. So they just left him here until
he died. They tried to charm big guy over there,
but that didn't work. I don't know if he has
brains. And so they went to kill him. And everybody
that's been in this room has left either like
doe -eyed and like shit -grinned or went over
to where he went and got their limbs ripped off.
Is this like a breeding cult? I don't know much
more than what's happened in these two rooms.
And so if you guys could just point towards the
door, you said you killed everybody on your way
in. I could leave. Well, I could be out. I mean,
maybe be invisible would be a good idea. Yep.
Sure. And he goes invisible. No, no, no. Get
him. Grab him. He knows an awful lot. I think
he needs to come with us, show us what's going
on. We're bringing the other big man with us.
I mean, I think you can just let him run down
the flaming hallway. He seems not good. He wants
to take his life in his own hands. Yes. Well,
we should explain the flaming hallway to him.
Maybe he won't want to leave. Well, he'll catch
up then. Everybody make a perception check with
a minus four penalty. A zero. A four. Two. Okay.
Cool. We're not perceptive as shit. Did he leave?
Brax got a negative one. Lovely. He's invisible.
We're just talking. He's left. Well, um... I'm
gonna set the hallway on fire. There's nothing
left in this room, and I don't hear that guy
anymore. So moving on to the torture... or the
sacrifice room? Yep. Did one of you guys give...
Brax, one of those daggers? Yes. No, don't give
them the magic daggers. Well, I guess we can
wait until, you know, they're our enemies. Oh,
I already gave him one. He's on our side. He
hasn't poked anyone yet, so. Well, you can go
in the front, Brax. Brax is a berserker. Love
the front. Excellent. I do set the hallway on
fire as we walk down the opposite direction.
Just the hallway that you came from? Yeah, the
one that's covered in oil. The one that's already
been burning? Oh, is it already on fire? Yeah,
you already lit it on fire a while ago. Okay.
Oh, that's right. I threw the bolt on top of
it. Yeah. Then down, what is it, to the left?
Down the hallway we go. Brack's leading the way.
Yeah. Okay. Brax clomps on ahead of you guys.
He's not wearing any armor or anything. He just
pretty much has a loincloth on at this point
and some tattered robes, I guess. The loincloth
of billowing. Yes. You guys all get quite the
show. It's like a hospital gown in the back.
And as you get down, the chamber in front of
you is much more well lit. You guys can see into
it. And before you get there, you see that there
are multiple people. ahead of you standing in
this chamber um all focused on the same central
point in the middle of the room are they dressed
like the cultists are they chanting they are
dressed like the cultists and they are chanting
what are they looking at there is a another one
of these cages that you guys just rescued brax
in hanging from the ceiling and there's a well
underneath it underneath where that is and it
begins to get lowered down on a chain as they
as they chant in here Until we get to the doorway,
I can't tell you everything that's in this room.
I imagine that lowering someone into a well is
not good for the person in the cage. Yeah, my
guess is they're either water, fire, acid, or
some demonic doorway. Yeah, they're definitely
being sacrificed, so we should hurry. Let me
be more specific, because I lied to you. There
are several people in this room are dressed as
the cultists, and on the far side of the room,
there is a... Colt is standing up on a few steps
above everybody else that does look like a mage.
There are also quite a few undead skeletons and
ghouls that are also in this room that you can
see. I mean, I can help with the undead. Do you
think we should try and sniper the mead guy?
Oh, yeah, you do that. Maybe at the same time
I will cast turn undead and they'll all just
panic and run around. I think we can do all that.
I think we can do all of that and duck out of
the way. Let them fight it out in there by themselves
for a minute. If you use hold person, which we
didn't use before, does that make it so a mage
would not be able to cast spells? That person
would be held. Oh. Yeah, I guess I should cast
hold person on the mage. And then I'll shoot
him with one of these. Something very strong.
Yeah, maybe all three at once. Like Robin Hood
men in tights. I think we have an idea. We're
going to do this. And then I'm just going to
rush in. Leroy Jenkins. I mean, pretty much.
Bless is still in effect? Yeah, for an hour or
so. I was going to say, it doesn't feel like
it would take that long to have gone. No, I'll
say you guys probably at this point, maybe 30
minutes have gone by. Since we've entered the
screaming tunnel. A whole person is a spell?
Yeah, I just cast it. I don't think I have to
do anything, right? No, the opposing person has
to be a semi -throw. Plus one sneak is two. Plus
four. Seventeen to hit. Okay, hold on one second.
With one of these poison bolts. I don't think
it's just going to be as simple as we took out
the guy in the middle of the room. All right,
Aurora, so you're casting Hold Person on the
mage across the room. Okay, they're going to
make their saving throw. And she does fail, and
you're able to hold her. Russer, you shot at
her. I shot at her with one of the imp bolts
in the crossbow. I rolled a 13. I get a plus
one. To hit, I get a plus one from Bless, and
I get a plus two for base hit for Stink Attack,
which gives me a total of 17 to hit. We're dead.
There's a lot of writing and a lot of rolling
going on over there. Maybe he's got to activate
all the characters in the room and roll out their
hit points. Mm -hmm. Write their backstory. Nope.
Okay. So did you roll damage, Russer? I did not,
because I wasn't sure what that poison... Yep,
so do damage first. Okay. Okay. That's a three.
Okay. She's going to make her saving throw, which
will get a plus four, because it's in poison,
too. She does beat your in poison, so she does
not die. However, she is still held. It is a
concentration spell of her, so you need to continue
to focus on that. Truck? You and Brax are up.
So I'm wildly charging into the room, wielding
my sword, attacking as many creatures as I can.
Okay. There are a mix of skeletons and ghouls
in here. There are at least ten. Skeletons and
ghouls in here. There are three human fighters,
three other cultists in here. And as you look
to the walls, there are also two gigantic zombified
ogres attached to the wall by chains. Righteous.
So the cultists were the ladies that were a level
one hit die, and the skeletons were also a one
hit die? All skeletons, ghouls, and humans besides
the mage are a level one hit die in this room.
Okay. Yeah, so I'm just going to run in and use
my combat fury attack. All right. 22. That hits.
Seven damage. All right. Do you want to specify
anybody that you're aiming at? Can you aim at
the mage? He's like fully across the room from
the mage, so you would have to run literally
through every creature, person, and thing in
this room to get to the mage. I'm going to, if
it's within... reason i would choose to attack
the like humanish cultists first all right they're
not all in the same group so i could say you
could definitely attack one of them though and
be surrounded by others so in in reality i'm
just attacking the closest ones to me okay so
if that works better for you yeah easy piece
okay so keep going and i'll knock things off
as you go all right uh 12 to hit my only thought
is I have to concentrate on hold person, so the
fastest we can kill the mage, then I can do turn
undead and make the undead flee. Yeah. But I
can't do both at the same time. I did kind of
fuck that up on my damage with that, too. Why?
Because if we were doubling it, it would have
been six, but if I roll for the two damage, it
would have been eight. I forgot to do that on
the sneak attack. Yeah, let's go with double
it, because that's how we've been handling it
before. Not a problem. I just always love how
I realize that in the middle of Connor's turn.
All right, and what did you roll for an attack,
Connor? So I rolled a 13. Okay, yeah. You so
far have taken out a skeleton and a ghoul on
your way into this room, making your way up to
the first human, just slicing and dicing everybody
out of your way. The 13 was to hit, not the damage.
The damage was only 9. Yeah. You know when something
has one hit dice, that only goes up to a six.
Perfect. Nine cleaves, yeah. All right. The next
one is a 17 to hit. Yep, that hits. And yeah,
that's another nine. Okay. You take out one of
the female fighters. Another 17 to hit. Okay.
And a seven. A seven for damage. Yes. Okay. 16
to hit? Yeah, that hits. And another nine for
damage. All right. So you rush into this room.
Swords swing wildly. You take out a skeleton
and then a ghoul and then a human and then a
ghoul and then a skeleton. And now you're right
in the center of this room, following you up
from behind. Hey -o! is Brax, and he rushes into
this room with his plus one dagger, and he's
able to take out another skeleton himself. Come
on, little man, can't you take out more than
one? I'll take them all! He shouts, and then
pretty much the entire room turns to you, with
the exception of the mage who is held. As the
two humans bolt for the opposite sides of the
room, each going to... one of these zombified
ogres, and undoing its chains from around its
neck, these ghouls and skeletons lunge at both
you and Barak. Does a 16 beat your armor class?
It sure does. As they fall around you, skeletons
swing wildly and ghouls gnashing. One of the
ghouls does catch you with its claw. I need you
to make a saving throw for me. A 12 beats my
save. Awesome. So as you feel this ghouls claws
rake through you you're able to fend off the
paralysis that comes behind that Luckily, however,
you do take five damage And the two ogres chains
to fall limply as they both let out a loud roar
and march into the room It is back to your guys's
turn. Do I keep holding person? Yeah, I'm going
to take another shot. The prisoner's cage also
continues to lower down, getting closer and closer
to the well. Can we see if there's a person in
there? Are they saying anything? There is a person
in there. He looks pretty doe -eyed, quite frankly,
and doesn't seem to be aware of what's going
on around him. Is there, like, a mechanism that's
dropping it down, or is somebody, like, manually
moving it? There's nobody, like, with a crank.
It's just a chain coming down from the ceiling.
Do I still have sneak attack with these two drawing
most of the attention in the room? No, you would
not. Okay. Then I hit for a 17. A 17 does hit.
Doing six damage with a second poison bow. A
poison bolt. Hopefully save that last one. This
second poison bolt lodges into this mage who
makes no attempt to move because she can't because
she's being held. So we don't know if they saved
or not. Nope, you're not telling us this time.
Okay. I mean, you wouldn't know. She's perfectly
held in place, so. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. So that's
our moves, right? Yeah, I mean, I used my turn
to hold person, so. Do you still have the ability
to turn undead, or are you out of spells now?
That's a cantrip. That's a cantrip? Yeah, I can
turn undead no matter what. Do we think that
the zombified ogres count as undead? Because
we could use them being turned away from us.
Yes. My concern is who's stronger, the mage or
the ogres. But I guess the ogres are literally
stronger. I mean, we've also gotten two pretty
decent shots into them. I know that they're not
very weak, but I think we've done 12 damage.
Okay, so it's our turn now. Yes. All right. I'll
drop Hold Person and cast Turn Undead. Okay.
As soon as you dispel Hold Person, the mage at
this other end of the room drops to the floor.
Right. No longer moving. You cast Turn Undead.
Mm -hmm. The skeletons and the ghouls in this
room collapse. The skeletons fall into a pile
of bones. The ghouls act like they're being burned.
not alive because they're already undead as uh
they go crashing down to the floor any undead
life that was left in them leaves their bodies
the two ogres both look around the room uh leaving
just the two humans and the two ogres however
turn undead does not turn them away or destroy
them because they're intelligent undead they're
just much more powerful undead so you there's
um there's a graph pretty much that you have
to roll so they're not affected by By turn undead.
So we've got two and two? Two humans, two ogres.
All the ghouls and skeletons are dead. Okay.
I'll go for one of the humans. Didn't you just
take your turn? Yeah, I did. I'm like, wait,
I just shot someone. Truck and Brax are the only
ones left. Come on, Brax, let's double team one
of these ogres. He runs next to you. I take the
back! I knew you would. I got a 21 to hit. 21
definitely hits. And a 7 per damage. All right,
you land a good strike. Brax, however, runs up
and tries to stab wildly with his 1 plus 1 dagger.
However, he does not do any damage. And it is
a new round of initiative. Maybe you should have
went with that invisible guy, Brax. Brax, fight!
You got a 3 for initiative. Okay, you guys are
able to go first. I'm taking another swing at
that ogre. 23? Yeah, 23 hits, man. and uh nine
for damage okay you've done a significant amount
already to this one undead ogre brax does not
every time you hit it he swings just a moment
too late missing it completely russer i am wrong
i'm going for one of the humans the occultists
uh that is a an 18 to hit with the axe okay are
you running up and attacking yeah okay uh Doing
one damage. Okay. Aurora? Well, Aurora's got
nothing left but to run into battle with this
chain mace. Okay. That either does really great
or really not. Who are you running at, by the
way? The ogre that's already being attacked.
Okay. 16? 16 does not hit. Okay. Brax, maybe
you should go push that cage from going through
the well. Since you're not having much luck over
here, fight that cage. On his next turn, Brax
will turn on his heel. However, it is the cultist's
and the ogre's turns. Truck, does an 18 beat
your AC? Yes, yes it does. One of these ogres
swings wildly with its large club and smacks
you for 7 damage, sending you sprawling across
the ground. Russer, does a 15 beat your AC? Yup.
You take 2 damage as the cultist that you hit
with a hand axe stabs you in the stomach with
one of their daggers. And it's vibrating. Does
a 14 beat your AC? No. Okay. And Aurora, does
an 11 hit your AC? No. Okay. The other ogre has
actually come up behind you guys, missing you,
Aurora, as it swings from behind. Go ahead and
roll a new initiative roll for me, please. Three.
Russer, does a 15 beat your armor class? Yes,
it does. The cultist once again stabs you, doing
four damage with their dagger. The other one
swings wildly at your head, but misses your neck
by inches. Not good. Not good at all. The two
ogres get in each other's way as they swing at
the three of you that are attacking the one,
and neither of them, their clubs come crashing
down around you guys, but neither one of them
actually hits either of you. There's two cultists
left still? There are, yep. Okay, I'm going to
attack the two cultists with five attacks. You
guys concentrate on the ogres. I was going to
help. Brax with the other guy. I'm not very helpful
in this battle. But I'm going to give Russer
my mace when I run away. Okay. Russer's not with
you guys. Russer's fighting cultists over there.
Can I run towards the cultists and attack? Can
I give it to Truck? Yeah, you can. Truck, take
my mace. Okay. My first roll was a... 10 to hit.
A 10 does not hit. Okay. I've never used this
mace before. I'm going to just bring my sword
back out. Oh, God. That was a 9. A 9 does not
hit either. I've thrown him off. A 14. A 14 does
not hit. Oh, God. Come on, man. Okay. A 23. 23
hits. Yeah, yeah. The 23 hits. All right. And
a 9 for damage. You take out the one cultist
that hasn't really done too much, hasn't been
hit, and hasn't attacked either. All right, and
then a 24, and then four damage to the next one.
You're able to take out the one that continually
stabbed Russer in the gut, leaving just the two
ogres. Use a chain mace. Oh, thank you. Brax
lunges forward. No, Brax is trying to get the
guy down. Right. Okay. Yeah. Brax runs following
you, Aurora, to try to knock the cage out of
the path of the well. Go ahead and both of you
make a... He'll make a strength save if you make
a dex save trying to, you know, double team this
thing. Okay. A natural 20. All right. Mixed with
his 18, the two of you are able to get the cage
so that it's swinging quite forcefully, not lined
up with the well anymore. Cool. I was picturing
like he jumped up and grabbed it and now I'm
swinging from his legs. Even better. I like that
more. Cool. The two ogres turn on you who are
both swinging from the cage. Does a 16 beat your
armor class? Yeah. The one hits you for two damage
as you're swinging from Brax's body. I think
he broke my foot. The other one misses trying
to smack Brax's hands off the cage itself. New
round. Three. Okay, you guys get the first round.
I'm going to use my sword on the more damaged
looking ogre. Okay. So 17 to hit? 17 does not
hit. I am going after the orc that Trap just
went after. With this mace that I have no idea
what it does. I rolled a five. A five does not
hit. Doesn't do anything. Nope. Did you see me
go? Whee! You should jump on top of the ogre
and just start beating it in the head. I'm not
on the... Oh, I guess I could jump off of...
You're holding on... You're essentially holding
on to Brax's... He doesn't have pizza. No, I'm
like on his legs, feet, like his ankles. I just
don't want to look up. Yeah, all right. You're
still swinging. So the whole cage is still descending
down as well. So if you take too long, you're
just going to end up on the floor. Yeah, so we're
swinging and we got a good arc. So we're most
likely to miss the well. So I'm going to use
that time to swing off and try to land on the
ogre's shoulders. And all I have is this dagger
that I'll stab him with. Give me a dex save or
a dex. Check to see how deftly you get on top.
That's a four. So you thought you were swinging
at a pretty good arc. However, the cage is lowering
quicker than anticipated. And you collapse into
this ogre's undead ogre's chest, getting some
really disgusting rank body juices onto you.
It tarnishes your bright white and red and well,
every other color. It's not clean now. No, but
it definitely leaves a stink that'll stay. Cool.
So I jumped. I jumped. Rolled the jump. Can I
roll to stab? Yeah, you can still try to attack.
Yeah. But not with a knife. You can attack with
knives. Fuck. Okay, well, I guess I got a 14,
so it doesn't matter. A 14 doesn't hit. Okay,
good. I was going to punch, and that's not going
to help. Brax tries the same trick as you. However,
he slips on the stones below and goes tumbling
down to the ground. This guy's really... Kind
of not been the great fighter that he made himself
out to be. Why he's captured. That's why he's
still alive. But the guy in the cage is not going
to be going through the well. I mean, it would
have to line up really pretty well with the well
below. Almost impossible. Yeah, it's not going
to be easy for it to go down there. Did the ogres
go before you guys, or did you guys go first?
I rolled a three and the ogre went first. They
went first this time. The ogres rolled a what?
I rolled a three and the ogres went first. Oh,
okay. Cool. So it's a new round. Five. All right.
You guys, once again, get to go. Russer's going
to try and take out the shin slash knee of the
ogre closest to him with this mace. Okay. 14
does not hit. A 14 does not hit. Not even, it
was a 12. You spin this mace around. Neither
of you really understand how Aurora actually
uses this thing in an effective way. It's very
cumbersome to everybody else but her. I've had
a lot of practice. Yeah. I'm going to stumble
backwards and I'm going to take one of my health
potions. Okay. For four. You roll the four. Yeah,
so I'm at 9 HP. So it's 1d6 plus 1, so it'd be
5 back. I'm going to use my sword on the same
ogre that's been being attacked. Okay. 15 plus
7, 22. Yeah, that hits. And 9 damage. You sink
your sword. Where do you kill this thing? Where
do you stab it? Big guy. I'm slicing it just
like kind of across the chest and belly. It lets
out an undead whimper as it goes crashing to
the ground, leaving just one more undead ogre
in this room. Right after you killed it, Brax
jumps on top of it, stabbing it furiously with
his dagger. However, it is already dead. Good
job, Brax. Does a five beat your AC truck? It
does not. This... The ogre comes crashing down
with a giant club, smacking the other undead
ogre that just died in the stomach, and it explodes,
sending guts and viscera all over both you and
Brax, who are nearby. Aurora, you get a little
bit on you as well. Gross. Very. I think it made
that guy smell better, though. And it's a new
round. Three. The ogre takes another swing, smashing
Brax, who did not get out of the way, and Brax
goes flying across the room, his body relatively
limp. You guys can still see that he is breathing,
but he's bleeding pretty heavily out of his torso.
That looks like it was caved in. It's now your
guys' turns. I am going to throw my axe at the
remaining ogre, at his head. That is a 17. A
17 does not hit, of course. Oh, jeez. A 23? A
23 does hit. And 6 damage. You slashed this ogre
as well, doing a pretty healthy amount of damage
to it. Unhealthy amount to it, but healthy to
you. Aurora. Um, can I have my chain mace, quick?
Yeah, this pack of things hasn't been working
at all for me. Throw it. Toss it back to her.
It tumbles to the floor, but I pick it up quickly.
I can throw harder than that. Okay. I'm going
to swing it at this guy. A natural 20. All right.
That's a good roll. Roll for damage. Two. All
right. Now roll your D4. Zero. It's a D4 minus
one. Gotcha. Okay. So the magical fire does not
seem to affect this ogre on this hit. New round.
The ogre rolls a four. Well, I rolled a five.
Yes. All right. Let's see it. I'm going to slice
him again. Oh, I'm not going to slice him again.
That's a 11. 11 definitely does not hit. Yeah,
it's a 12, actually. 12 still does not hit. I'll
try to clobber him. That's another natural 20.
Get out. All right, cool. Roll your damage. Six.
And minus two to his next hit. The end of your
mace glows with an intense fire as you smack
this ogre in the head and its head just caves
and it tumbles down to the ground as its face
melts off. Well then. And finally this room is
suddenly still. That was a lot. It went better
than I thought it would. It did. We should unlock
that guy, I guess. And search the body of the
mage or the person you guys were holding. They
looked fancy. We have a bit of a pressing problem,
though. Do we want to waste one of our health
potions on this one over here? And I point to
Brax bleeding out on the ground. He was not very
useful. What's Brax's HP? He's down to two. Is
he conscious? Not, like, overly at the moment.
Do you want one of these potions, Brax? No? Okay.
He says he doesn't want one. You both are mean.
I only have one left, but I will give him my
healing potion. And it heals him for five. And
you kind of watch the bones, like, snap back
into place. And he takes a big gasp of air as
his eyes widen and he comes back to consciousness.
Why aren't you so hot there, huh? I just tried
to pick the lock. Is there a lock on the cage?
Yes. I did not open it. I'll check out the mage
lady. Okay. You go up to the mage and she has
a ring similar to the other cultists. did on
as well as uh she is holding a wicked looking
scepter it's black and ornate and the head of
it kind of twists into an evil claw okay i'm
gonna take the ring and i'm gonna put it in my
pocket uh what's she got going on clothing wise
pretty much the same as everybody else except
for she had a hood over her head which you know
kind of impaired uh you guys being able to see
what her face looks like but other than that
you know she has a little bit more of a robey
look almost like a kind of dark cleric or something
like that all right skyrim move i'm gonna take
her cloak off and then i'm gonna use it to wrap
the scepter in okay i don't want to touch it
yeah that's fine you can give it to brax no i'm
gonna hold on to it for a while okay looking
around the rest of this room um there's undead
and nudely dead corpses all over the place. There
is the well in the middle, which you guys have
successfully gotten the cage wedged enough that
it's not going to go down the well. On the back
wall behind where the mage was standing is a
large statue of a very pretty woman with large
bat wings that takes up pretty much the entire
backside of this room. This room is also pretty
well lit with torches, but also has a lot of
burning incense in it as well. I am at the cage.
Is the person inside conscious? Yeah. Well, hello
there. My name is Rosser. I'll be opening your
cage today. It's just taking me a bit of a moment.
What is your name? What is my name? Sam? You
don't remember your own name? Names aren't important.
Sam it is. Okay, Sam, how did you get here today?
Oh, I came here to see my love. And who would
that be, my friend? Ah, Melacantheth, the prettiest
woman I've ever seen. Oh, was she here somewhere,
my friend? I think I was just going to go see
her, but you guys could keep lowering me down.
That'd be fine. Oh, she's at the bottom of the
well, she is. Yeah, down there, yeah. They're
waiting for me, I think. Oh, okay. Guys, could
you come here a minute? I want you to check at
the bottom of the well real quick. I don't want
to look at the bottom of the well. I'll take
a look down. Just, you know, peer over the edge
a little bit. What's going on down there? As
you peer, that's where we're going to end this
episode. Oh. Okay. Suspense. So until next time,
we will see you next, next Tuesday. That's it
for today's episode. We hope you've enjoyed listening
as much as we've enjoyed playing. If you have,
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Tales from the Crit is a Wolfbeard Games audio
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the Crit Podcast. All right. Bye -bye. Is it
17 to hit? 17 does not hit. Womp womp. You got
the womp womp sound. The womp womp. Oh. Oh.