Welcome to Tales from the Crit Season 3. Bigger,
badder, and stickier. By joining us today, you
have been officially upgraded to Crit Cat status.
So, welcome to the club. Tales from the Crit
is an actual play podcast where we focus on smaller
story arcs from some of your favorite RPGs, as
well as some of the less known or obscure ones.
We also play some highly narrative tabletop board
games and also some micro RPGs. All of those
feature a revolving cast of players, so you're
going to see a lot of variety there. And as always,
I am your host and your Crit Keeper, Riley Groves.
We're so glad to have you here with us today.
Now let's get into the episode. Content warnings
can be found in the description. Welcome back
to Tales from the Crit. I'm super excited to
continue playing White Box. I had a lot of fun
in the last episode, and I'm going to have even
more fun on this one. But I'm not having fun
by myself. I brought Connor along. Hey, guys.
And Derek. Hello. And Renee. No, and Rebecca.
Yeah, Rebecca. And Rebecca. Your wife. Yes. Usually
when I say Derek, I say Derek and Renee. Anyways.
figure that one out later. Also, usually he does
your name before mine. I do. Try going anti -clockwise.
Yeah, it was a bad idea. It fucked me right up,
man. It didn't work. And they are reprising their
roles as Truck, Russer, and Aurora. You guys
ready to get back into it? Yep. I still haven't
found that RPG campfire deck. I'm just surprised
you can remember the name of it. Not you. Let's
go. Yeah, no, me too. That may not. Be the name
of it. That's what I remember it being, though.
Maybe that's why I can't find it. You don't even
know what you're looking for. And I'm definitely
ready to jump back in as long as we're going
right into a long rest. And there is no rest
in this entire thing. Never rest again. No rest
ever. You just got done resting a long knife
in your gut. So a long rest in Whitebox is four
full weeks. Perfect. That's when you can recover
all of your HP. Otherwise, you recover one HP
per day. All right. Hey, you know, one is something.
I'm going to inflict a mortal wound on myself
somewhere in the torso. Slices his belly open.
Shows you. Okay. Out of your 12 HP, how much
do you take? How much is it going to take? That's
yet to be determined, my friend. Well, we're
going to go down in .1s of HP points. You let
me know when we hit. If I can just roll for it.
That says three. So we'll start with three, I
guess. You're down to three? Or you take three?
I take three. Okay. I'm guessing that doesn't
do it. It does not. Take another three. Okay.
You are still kept out of this? Take another
three. You're feeling really pretty weak. Yeah,
I'm down to three. Yeah, stabbing yourself in.
And at this point, you hear the cemetery calling
to you, but you can't pass through yet. Go down
to one. Same effect. You take care of that dipshit.
And I twist it one last time. Oh my gosh. Okay.
And his body falls through the front of the gate
and is now half inside and half outside the cemetery.
We'll drag his other half in. Wait, is it morning?
No, no. We're still at nighttime? Okay. We talked
about waiting until morning. Okay. Yeah. I never
went to sleep. I have my extra healing potion
in hand as we try to see if we can make it through
the doorway as we're touching his quickly dying
body. Okay. The two of you do make it through
the archway and onto the other side. Okay. I
don't know how this works here, and I give the
healing potion to Aurora. I was going to say
you put it in his wound. Yeah, you've got to
just pour it down his throat and hope it still
can swallow. Go for it. Roll the... I don't know
what it does. It's 3d6 plus 3. I'm going to do
that. All right. Let's see it, truck. 2, 4, 7
plus 3 would be 10. All right. Russer. Actually,
Chuck and Rory, you guys pour the potion down
into his throat, and he gurgles on it at first,
and a gout of blood squirts up about three feet
out of his wound before it heals itself back
up, the skin mending and pushing his dagger out,
and Russer wakes up with a cough. Well, that
was scary. That was some... Gross dedication,
Russer. I admire you even more now. Friends.
No, I'm just joking. Please. Thanks, guys. Well,
thank you. Yeah, we're in now. So now we gotta
find what this key goes to. Are you okay? It's
a little sore, but I'll be fine. We don't feel
like a tractor beam pulling us back towards the
gate, right? Nope. That's what I was afraid of.
Alright, I start looking for where this key could
go. mausoleums are my first thought okay yeah
you wander around and this cemetery is absolutely
huge and the further in that you walk kind of
towards the mountains the older everything seems
is there anything that seems much larger than
everything else around it what are you doing
to see that use your eyes i am well yes i mean
but like on the ground you can only see so much
like there's You know, like in New Orleans, how
everything is buried above ground? So it's like
that, but there are a lot of gravestones and
stuff too. But as you move into the older sections,
there are a lot more mausoleums and actual crypts.
So we can't tell if there are a lot of underground
stuff. I am looking for the name of the family
we were told about. Okay. All three of you give
me a roll of a D6. Three. Four. Six. Pretty simultaneously,
the three of you converge from different paths
on a very large, very old -looking mausoleum.
And it is made out of obsidian rock, and it kind
of absorbs the moonlight. and doesn't really
give any off back. And this mausoleum over the
top, in kind of an archaically old language,
but you would know it, Aurora, says Naziri at
the top, and it is adorned by two gargoyles.
Hmm. Well, the name makes sense, and it seems
to match this key that I have, which is Onyx,
which is close enough to Obsidian. My guess is
we'll be fighting these gargoyles, though. I
would smash them right now, but if we don't end
up having to fight them, that seems rude. True.
We'll just wait a minute. Before we attempt to
do anything with the key or open it, can I use
keen detection on the... That looks for traps.
Traps, passageways, so on and so forth, any hidden...
Yeah, there's nothing hidden on the outside of
these things. But as you guys are standing, staring,
asking or pondering about the gargoyles, you
do see their wings begin to twitch. Yeah, and
I pull out my morning star. Awesome. The stone
from their bodies seems to crack as they change
from an inanimate object. to two large gargoyles,
and they descend upon you quickly. Somebody make
me an instigation. Initiative. Initiative roll.
Jesus. Make me an initiative roll. Three. All
right, you guys have the first round. Oh, cool.
Morning star in hand, I'm going to swing at one
of the gargoyles. Okay. That is a 23. Whatever.
To hit. All right. That definitely hits. Four.
Six damage. Good amount of damage. All right.
You crack into one of these gargoyles. And you
send it sprawling down and it hits the ground.
Not flying at the moment. I'm going to shoot.
I'm going to shoot a crossbow at the one that
he did not. Okay. That is. 21 to hit. Yeah, that
definitely hits. Got to get all those 20s out
first thing. Doing one damage. One damage. Not
much, but a successful hit nonetheless. I will
swing my chain base. 15. 15 does hit. Yay. Well,
I rolled a one. It's on fire now. And then so
roll 1d4. 4. Minus 1. 3. So it gets a minus 3
to its next attack. Yay. All right. Nice. Which
one do you hit, by the way? The one that Connor
attacked or the one that Derek attacked? The
one Connor attacked. Okay. Truck. Yes. Sorry.
The one truck attacked. All right. The one that
you just attacked lunges at you, Aurora. Does
a 15 beat your armor class? Yes. Okay. It scrambles
on the ground and attacks you with its claws
before trying to take off, and it does 3 damage
to you. Oh, wait. What did you say? 15? 15 minus
3, right? I have a plus 3 to my AC, so my AC
is actually 16. Okay. And it actually rolled
a 12 anyways, because you... affected its two
hit bonus. That does not hit me. Okay. And Derek,
does a 13 beat your armor class? No. Okay. This
other one swoops down, trying to claw you as
it flies over your head. However, it misses and
ascends back into the air. Roll for initiative.
One. The one that was on the ground takes off,
joining its companion and they swoop down both
trying to attack uh truck and russer does an
11 or an 8 hit either of you i don't think so
no okay they fly right over your head and go
back above the mausoleum and turn to make another
pass but it is your turn how many hit dice do
these things have They do have more than one.
Okay. So then I'm going to just attack one. There
are four hit dice each. I got an 11. An 11 does
not hit. Is there a keyhole in the mausoleum?
Yeah, definitely. Right in the middle of the
door. Oh, I missed. I shot at one with the crossbow.
With? Yeah. What'd you get? Six. All right. I'm
going to use my key. to try to open the door
so we can just sneak past this fight. Okay. You
run up to the door, sticking the key in, and
as you do, from around the hinges and around
the doorframe, hisses an old gas. It's nothing
dangerous, but it is a pretty dank smell, and
the two doors creak open as you pull on them.
Come on, let's go inside. Smells like a skunk
died in there. I'm sure a lot of things are dead
in here. I would hope so. I hope they stay that
way. Are the gargoyles still trying to attack
us? I mean, they haven't turned back into stone?
They haven't turned back into stone, no. Did
you run into the crypt? Yeah. Closing the door?
Leaving it open. Closing the door behind them.
You hear the gargoyles hit the door, and then
the sound from them stops. But it is pitch black
inside of this mausoleum. Huh. Well, I can see
fine. I have dark vision. Yeah, so you can see
on, like, gray scale. And all around you, it's
a pretty large space inside, actually, larger
than it would seem from the outside. And there
are a lot of coffins, both sealed and unsealed,
and several that are just strewn around the floor.
And as you're looking around, Aurora, you see
a bony hand reach out. from around one of these
coffins and begin to pull itself up. I cast Turn
Undead. Okay. This is our first Turn Undead roll,
is it not? It is. It's a cantrip, so I don't
use a spell slot. But I don't know how else to
use it. It's okay. We will figure that out together
right now. Because these are skeletons, and you
are level 5... As several skeletons begin to
pull themselves up out of the coffins and creak
and turn towards you, you cast Turn Undead. And
all of a sudden, each one of them loses whatever
was animating them, and they fall into piles
of bones all around the room. Okay, so we should
be careful of dead things. There's dead things
in here. Oh, yes, I just killed some skeletons
that were coming for us. We need a light. Let's
make the assumption that you have torches. I
have six. There you go. I'm going to light three
torches and pass one to each one of you. Cool.
And then I'm going to take a fourth torch and...
Is there... something like an urn or a vase or
a... something torch holder prop this thing a
torch holder that i can prop a torch up in relatively
close to where we're standing um on the back
wall there is kind of like a four torches themselves
to light it's there's a sconce on the back of
the wall um that's about it i mean there's several
around the the crypt but some have been smashed
off the wall there's no any i come to that i
can light i'm gonna light in the vicinity just
give us a little Just to give us a little bit
of a bearing in here. Okay. So you go and light
the most obvious one. Why don't you go ahead
and give me a perception check or saving throw?
I'm going to use those interchangeably, so just
know that they're the same. Does this have to
do with a trap? No, not inherently. Or not at
all. It's not a trap. See what you can see kind
of deal. It's a four. All right. Russer helps
light up this room a little bit, and you guys
can see that the inside's been kind of smashed
up and maybe picked over previously, but you're
not entirely sure. If this key was so hard to
find, who was in here smashing things up before,
I wonder? I wonder that, too. The whole cemetery's
pretty hard to find. And hard to enter, even
if you find it. I hope that doesn't mean that
it's something that's in here still. Why don't
the other two of you go ahead and make me a wisdom
saving throw? Truck is terrified of the skeletons
that Aurora mentioned, so any skulls he sees,
he is squishing. I rolled a 1. I rolled a 14.
Is that beat? Yes. All right. Truck, you're...
wandering around here stomping and you hear an
echoing coming from a different part of this
mausoleum when you crunch one of these skulls
and you realize the on the back wall where russer
had lit this sconce there's actually a second
wall behind it you just need to skirt around
kind of the corner that was obscured and you
see a long stairway leading down guys there's
uh there's a stairwell over here we can go down
further Sounds like a good idea. Don't forget
to squish any skeleton heads if you see them.
Don't take any chances. Squish them twice. I
surely won't. All right. I'm going to head back
towards the sconce and be very irritated with
myself that I didn't see a passage right there.
Okay. And you head down the stairs. And the stairs
lead into complete darkness. You cannot see the
end of them, even with your torches. And the
three of you begin to make your way. down further
and further after about 30 minutes of continuing
to go down this rocky staircase you haven't found
the end yet 30 minutes 30 minutes unless you
don't want to go down that far you can walk up
to 30 minutes if we turn around does it look
like we've been walking for 30 minutes behind
us i mean it's just as dark behind you as it
is ahead of you So it's not like we've been walking
for 30 minutes, we turn around, and it looks
like we've gone like six feet? Correct. Okay,
that's good. I think we should keep going. I
mean, we've already come this far. Mm -hmm. It's
not getting any darker. I agree. I agree. And
you continue to walk? Mm -hmm. For how long?
However long it takes to get to the bottom. Okay.
You continue to walk, and after an hour, you're
still descending down the staircase. Oh, man.
I don't know. Has there been any other passages,
doors, levels at any point? Nothing. However,
you have felt a noticeable change in temperature
where you are beginning to get warmer, and the
air does not smell clean. It's got a tinge of...
sulfur to it and it's slightly irritating you
can't catch your breath quite as well but there's
nothing you have seen nothing else yeah i'd imagine
we'd have to be a couple kilometers deep at this
point i pick up a rock and throw it down the
stairs sure it echoes as it tumbles down the
staircase does it end you're an elf so you hear
it for a long long time Okay, this stairwell's
gonna take forever. Bad we didn't bring, you
know, one of them big trees we'd just slide down
on. Wait! Now we're pretty far from those coffins.
They would've been alright, too. Are we gonna
continue, or should we head back up? I mean,
if we go back up and find another staircase,
we have to go down that one? Yeah, I mean...
I don't know. It goes a long way. We could just
tumble down. Just roll a somersault contest.
I do not like that idea. I think we just keep
walking. At least down is easy. Yeah, we will
have to come back up at some point, but sure,
we'll continue on. Yeah, let's keep walking down
the stairs. Two at a time. Another hour passes
as you descend down the stairs before finally
you can see a red glow coming from further down
the staircase. Oh. It's not bright. It's a dim
red. I can't tell if I'm just getting used to
the dark or if there's something lighter down
there. There's definitely... an evil red glow.
You've just all died. We didn't get to go up.
Oh. I mean, you did die. Almost. Kind of. Something
happened. We made it through that gate, though.
Well, we definitely aren't going back up now,
now that something has changed. You know, we
gotta finish this through. I agree. And we continue
down. All right. Finally, hitting the red glow,
this staircase opens into a very large chamber.
And you see you actually still have a ways to
go on the staircase. However, in front of you
is a landscape that's just riddled with lava
and lakes of sulfuric gases. And you can see
gouts of flame erupting from the floor. And it
is very, very hot in here. you notice that the
light is pretty much being emitted from the lava
flows and the flames. Remind me, guys, what are
we getting here again? A murky gem? Oh, a red
one, yes. It probably makes sense that it would
be here. A golden -laid amulet with a murky red
stone in the middle. I didn't see it around the
neck of any of those skulls that I crashed, but
I will admit. That I was looking more with my
morning star than my eyes. Well, that's okay.
I don't think you'd be in the entryway. Probably
either, right? But we didn't even check. You
want to walk all those stairs and check? No,
but I think that's my point. We should have done
it before coming down here. Yeah, we should have.
Because we're never going back up. This is where
we live now. This is where we die, yeah. Well,
I think here makes as much sense as anywhere.
We're already here. So should we set up the tent
then? Yeah. We'll take about two weeks rest.
It would be now morning after you guys have not
slept. So we sleep before we go through this
lava? Now that we have, you know, we're not enclosed
in a weird spiral staircase that seemed to never
end. Plan on sleeping in the staircase. But close
to, you know, where we can see still. Okay, so
kind of before it opens up into the chamber.
On the stairs, yeah. Okay. Good enough place,
I guess. Good enough for me. Everybody go ahead
and recover one HP then. Yeah, one HP. Aurora,
it is morning, so you could pray again to refill
your spell slots. I will. I didn't use any, so
I guess it doesn't matter. Aurora, go ahead and
make me a perception check in scenes you don't
sleep. You're always on watch. 17 plus 3 is 20.
Okay. That definitely beats your saving throw.
Mm -hmm. All right. As you're sitting at the
edge of the staircase looking out into this hellish
landscape, a few hundred yards away, you see
a group of imps flying through this chamber from
one side to another. Guys, there's going to be
imps. Should we? back up further into the stairwell
to bottleneck them? Are they coming, like, this
way? No, they're just floating around. I'm just
warning you that that's going to be a thing.
Okay. Which usually means some type of demon
-y stuff. Maybe they'll be friendly, and they'll
tell us what we're looking for. Um, no, I don't
think that that's going to be the case. I mean,
I did think that there'd be no problems getting
that sword, too. Mm -hmm. As far as your plans
are concerned, that went off without a hitch.
Kinda, yeah. Shiny. I just wait to sort it around
a little bit more. I say we try and sneak through.
Sneaking does sound like a good idea. I'll try
and be very quiet. What color is the ground around
us? Or in this general area we're going to be
traversing through? It's a reddish stone. But
primarily stone. You think if we rub one of the
tents in the ground and then carried it over
us, we'd look... Rub it in the ground? Rub it
on the ground. Just cover it in some dirt? To
make it dirty and red. Oh. I thought it was just
rock. And then use it as camouflage. Sure. I
always trust you, Russer. You know best. You
know everything. You knew how to get through
that gate. Not so proud of that one. We're going
to try and cover ourselves with the... Yeah,
is it... First thing, is it gravelly enough and
dusty enough to do that? Or is it just solid
rock? I mean, there's definitely gravel and dust
around. I don't know how successful you'd be.
Go ahead and make me a wisdom saving throw. 16.
Okay, you do your best, and it's moderately red.
All right. All right, let's all get real close
and pull this thing over us and hope we don't
step in the lava. I will say, however, you were
hot before. Now you are really hot under this
canvas tent. It's too hot, boys. You can hang
out under here. I'm just going to stealth around
myself separately. Everybody make me a dex saving
throw. You two can roll with advantage. 15. All
right. Aurora, did you beat your check? 16. I
beat my check. 17. All right. You guys continue
to move around unabated. I can't believe this
is working. Just a little bit further. We haven't
even been attacked by those imps yet. Who's leading
the way? Me. And then you guys are under the
tent. Yeah. Okay. All right. Make me... Roll
me 1d6 for navigation. Two. As you're leading...
the group on keeping the imps that are the different
schools of imps that are flying around here in
sight you lead russer and truck into a chamber
off the path that you are following and as you're
looking in the air smells like stale blood and
as you're looking around you can make out large
hills in this chamber and suddenly from far above
You hear a sickening crunch as a body hits the
ground, and then a shield and sword clang soon
after it onto the body. And as you're sitting
there staring, wondering what happened, three
ghouls immediately pounce on this body and begin
ripping it apart. We back out of this room. Okay.
She's coming back. What's going on in there?
You don't want to go in there. We're not going
to go in there. And we're going to keep on moving
along. All right, go ahead and make me some dex
saving throws. Twenty... Nine. Twelve. Did you
pass, Aurora? I did. I failed. You failed? That's
fine. Collective, the three of you are able to
back out of this chamber without being seen.
Excellent. Okay, wrong turn. Anyone else want
to try? Sure. Let's shuffle this way. I got a
five. All right, you shuffle the right way and
continue away from this chamber, putting it behind
you pretty quickly and continuing down the path.
In front of you, you can just see that what you
thought was a chamber is literally just the landscape
in here. It goes on and on forever. And every
once in a while, you can hear a far off scream
and you can see gouts of flame erupting from
the ground and flows of lava just going. All
through this chamber. This is terrifying. I'm
very warm now. I don't know how much longer I
can stay underneath this canvas. Yes, it is quite
hot, and I really don't know where to go. Oh,
fine. I'll pack that thing up. Fold it back up.
It's super loud. It's a canvas. It doesn't make
any noise. It's not like our tent. In my mind,
it was tent material. And you continue on. Go
ahead and make me another D6 roll for navigation.
Russer, why don't you... Give it a shot. Which
way do you think we should go? Eh, we'll go this
way. It's a six. You continue on, and as you're
passing by, you can see kind of down on the lower
level from where you are at one point, a couple
of imps, and they're just pulling at a corpse
and ripping its arms and legs off as it falls
limp, and then they begin to take off into the
air again. I think if we're quiet, we could go
this way. They flew off for a moment. Finally,
you come to a spot where the path widens and
kind of ends. And in front of you is kind of
like a cave. And on the back wall is there are
several distorted faces carved into the rock
itself and a large door. But before that is a
lone obelisk standing in the middle of this chamber.
Is there anything unique about the obelisk? Color,
shape, writings on it? Does it have a locket?
Around it. Does it have a locket around it that
I'm really hoping for? It does not. Or on the
side of it? It does not have a locket on it.
Do you get up close to investigate or do you
stay at the mouth of the chamber? Truck is going
in. I mean, I'll get reasonably close, but I'm
not going to stand on top of it. The closer you
get, the brighter a red light emits from it.
Guys, I don't know if this red light is the amulet
or not, but it's... Seems like maybe. It seems
like it might be over here somewhere. I have
hope. Can I investigate the obelisk? You can.
Can you read Abyssal? No. Can anybody? Truck
can't read it all. Can I probe the obelisk? What
do you mean by that? Truck, why don't you go
ahead and run into this one? See what it does?
I'm going to try and climb it. I was thinking
we should try to smash it. Yeah, I'm using him.
So I meant by probe, I was going to send him
charging in to headbutt it. I mean, I'm not going
to headbutt it. I can hit it with my Morningstar.
Go ahead and smash it. You tried to headbutt
the gate to get in. The invisible gate I tried
to walk through headfirst. Well, run. Run through
headfirst. Okay. Aurora, but you wanted to investigate?
Yeah. Go ahead and give me an intelligence check.
19. Plus three. Twenty. Twenty -two. All right.
Great roll. You can see that there are similar
markings all over this obelisk that are also
on what you assume is the doorway to the structure
behind you. And although you can't read Abyssal,
you've been around long enough to pick up on
some of the symbols. And you can very clearly
make out the word blood. Well, I know the word
blood is in here. And, Truck, you climb on it?
Mm -hmm. When you touch it and climb on it, a
seal on the door itself lights up in a bright
red. How sharp are the corners? Not sharp. But
after spending a moment on it, the distorted
faces that are carved into the wall, they're
pretty large, just five of them, carved around
the doorway, begin to emit a sickening scream,
and blood begins to pour out of their mouths
and eyes and onto the floor. Everybody make me
a dex saving throw. Oh, no. I thought I was going
to have to, like, smear blood on the obelisk,
but no. Fourteen. Three. Thirteen. Truck. A burst
of flames comes up from the floor and engulfs
you quickly, doing two damage. And as you fall
from the top of the obelisk, you look up and
see that there are two imps descending directly
on your party. Yowch! Guys, watch out! There's
imps from above! I'm going to raise my crossbow
towards the imps. I'm also going to raise a crossbow
towards the imps. I don't have one, but I'll
ready my mace. All right, somebody roll me an
initiative roll. Five. You guys get the first
round. I loose a bolt from my crossbow with a
seven to hit. A seven is a miss. I had assumed.
Russer? I loose a crossbow bolt and hit for an
18. An 18 does hit. All right. And yours is a
plus one crossbow, right? Yes. So it does serve
as a magical weapon. Wonderful. Shit. Well, I
did one damage if you want to count that one.
Okay. Kind of fell out of my hand. Plus one damage.
Isn't it a 1d6 minus one? Plus one? Yeah. So
it's 1d6. So his 1d6 is a 1 minus 1, 0 plus 1,
1. Nice. And Aurora? Are they close enough that
I can use my mace? It's on a chain. We'll say
sure. Okay, cool. 15 to hit. Do you got a plus
one? That is my plus one. A 15 does not hit.
And these two imps come swooping down at the
three of you. Who's got something against poisons?
Me. Okay. I also have plus two saving throw to
poison. All right, cool. These imps fly down,
swooping both Aurora and Truck. Aurora, does
a 15 beat your armor class? No. All right. And
Truck, does a one beat your armor class? No.
All right. They fly down, and both of them try
to sting you with their tails. However, they
just miss, impaling you. And you guys definitely
know that imps have a moderately strong poison
that comes from their tail, which is their main
way of attacking. However, both of them miss,
so go ahead and roll initiative. They don't count
as undead, right? They are not. No, they are
a demon. I didn't think so. Rolled a four for
initiative. Okay. They swoop down again, and
this time they're going to swarm you, truck,
and they both try to sting you. Does a 15 or
a 3 beat your armor class? A 15 does beat my
armor class. A 15 beats your armor class? Yes.
All right. You're going to need to make me a
saving throw against poison. You'll get your
plus 2, but you additionally get a plus 4 on
top of that. Well, I rolled a 19. Okay. So...
25. Yes. So in that you take 1d6 minus 1 damage,
which is 0. So it seems that even though they
were able to get it past your armor, they weren't
able to get it past far enough to actually have
any effect. And it's the three of yours turn.
They're both Swarming Trock. Well, I'm going
to try and slice that one with my new shiny plus
3 sword. 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Wait, if it's
our turn, can I cast blast before they go? Yeah.
What does that give them? Plus one to attack
rolls for the next hour. All right. So add a
plus one, guys. I think that still only brings
me to a 15. I also add a 15. All right. Neither
of those hit. Everybody make me a dexterity saving
throw. Five. 19. A 5? Did you roll a d20? 13.
Okay, who didn't save? Me. You hear the ground
begin to puff before several gouts of flame erupt
from the floor. Rory, you're going to take 1
fire damage. Wow, that's all, huh? That's all.
I should have read all of my trades. Why? If
attack is successful, you may roll weapons damage
twice. That's on a sneak attack. That's only
on a sneak attack. Oh, backstab. Oh, that's why
I didn't read it that way. God. Okay, never mind.
All right. Next round of initiative. I rolled
a one. Okay. Truck, they continue to try to swarm
you because your friends have not been able to
hit them and neither have you. And they're both
stabbing at you furiously with their tails. However,
you're wearing some pretty strong armor, right?
I got chainmail on. Yeah, they're not able to
get through with their hooked barbs. However,
you do hear the screech as a third one comes
descending into the chamber. Oh, God. We got
to get rid of these fast. They're drawn more
to them. Can we just run away? I think we want
to... Isn't there like a door that we want to
go through that's got like heads pouring blood
out of them above it? Yeah, where are we with
that? How much blood is on the ground at this
point? There does seem to be, like, channels
that it's flowing into. The chamber itself isn't
just filling up with blood, although that'd be
metal as fuck. It's creating a crazy... Just
want to make sure it wasn't, like, you know,
we're standing in a small pool, or this is just
a slow death. Eventually it probably will end
up filling up the chamber, but not yet. Probably
smells really good where it meets the lava. Yeah,
super gross. There's a lot of gross things going
on. I'm just going to continue trying to shoot
these stupid things. I'm going to assume they're
close enough that I can still use the sword.
Don't forget to add your plus one. Still missed.
Yeah, it's still only a 14. Goddamn. Aurora?
Okay, try to hit him too. 12, 13, 14, 15, plus...
Oh wait, what? Plus one to hit, and then do I
get plus two? Yes. It doesn't matter, I don't
want it. What do you roll? What did you roll?
A 12. You've got a plus one. And a plus one.
And a plus one, so 14. Yeah, you guys do not
have those. I mean, she gave you an additional
plus one. Oh, it's only plus one. Yeah. That's
right. Still wouldn't have been enough. Not looking
super hot. New round of initiative. Five. All
right, you guys will go first. All right, if
I don't hit him this time, I'm drinking that
hill giant, that giant strength potion. 14. 20.
15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. Yeah, 20. All right.
Yeah, that 20 definitely hits. I got a 22. You
got a 22. 20 also. A 20 as well. Yes. Okay. I
got a 10. All right. Truck and Aurora, you do
both hit with whatever you're doing. And then
I do 1d6 fire, which is 6. So you'll just do
1d6 because they are immune to fire. Okay, well
then I'm also going to do my d4. I don't... This
dice is really hard to use. It looks it. I can't
read what side it is. I can't read either. Here,
you can see it up close. I got a four for damage.
Okay. Do you have an idea of which one you're
attacking? One of the two that are on you? One
of the two that was, yeah, on me. Yeah, you're
right. This is kind of... They take a minus one
to their hit. Four damage. All right. And which
one are you trying to hit? One of the two that's
on truck or the new one that's flying in? The
one on truck. Do you have a preference? Is it
the same one that he just hit or? Sure. Okay.
Snowball effect. And how much damage did you
do? Six. You crashed your mace into this imp's
head and it crunches and goes falling to the
ground like this. Yay. Guys, they don't have
a lot of HP. We just got to hit them at all.
The one continues to struggle around you, and
Aurora, the third one that entered the chamber,
comes descending down from the ceiling towards
you. However, both are unsuccessful in their
attacks. Everybody make me a dexterity saving
throw. 22. 5. 21. All right, truck. From underneath
you, a gout of flame erupts. Pretty much... Engulfing
your entire body, you take 4 HP fire damage.
We're on to a new round, so somebody roll me
an initiative check. That's 2. Alright, you guys
get the first round. I can cure light wounds
for Truck. If he survives, I'll give him a health
potion. If he survives. Go ahead and cast. I
cast Cure Light Wounds. Alright, that's a first
level spell slot. You recover 1d6 plus 1 HP.
That's not bad. Do I roll the d6? Whoever wants
to can. Go ahead. If you roll bad, I'll roll.
I roll the 5. Nice. Plus 1. Okay, cool. They've
got more health than I do. Alright, so that's
Aurora's turn. Truck and Ruster, what are you
two doing? I'm gonna slice with the sword at
one of the other imps. I'm going to shoot this
little bastard in the head with a 21. All right.
All right. Which one are you aiming at? Is one
day both attacking him or is one still flying
around? One's attacking Aurora and one's attacking
truck. Yeah, I'm probably going to shoot the
one flying around. Okay. What's your damage?
The healer. Four. You land a solid blow and this
one. Tumbles down to the ground and it lets out
like this hiss as it turns towards you and its
barbed tail whips and it begins to charge at
you. Tron. I rolled a 15 to hit. A 15 does not
hit. It's moving too fast. I can't hit him. And
as you guys are fighting, suddenly another imp
makes its way into the chamber. Oh, mother. All
right. Somebody want to roll an initiative for
me? I rolled a five. You guys go first. I'm thwomping
with my chain mace. 19? Yeah, 19 definitely hits.
Excellent. You're thwomping the one that's charging
me. Whatever one's charging, yeah. Okay, how
much do you do for damage? Only one, but where'd
my d4 go again? It won't matter. You thwomp this
last one enough, and it crushes underneath the
weight of your mace. Leaving just two. Yay. Chalk
and Roser. I'm going to shoot at the one that
just entered the cave. And that's a two. Twos
don't typically hit. And in this case, they definitely
don't. I'm going to swing at the one near me
for a 19. 19 hits. That is a four. Plus three?
No, one plus three. Okay. I mean, still some
good damage done. As you guys are fighting, you
hear the sounds of the flames begin to build
up again. Everybody make me a dexterity saving
throw. Oh, five. Thirteen. Truck, are you the
only one that failed? Yes. You get burnt by another
gown of flame doing one fire damage. Truck, you
gotta move a little faster. I don't hear it until
it's too late. I'm too concentrated on this thing
flying around my head. New round? Connor's been
really good at the initiative rolls. Yeah, my
d6s have been terrible today. Of course. You
need a one. A one? Roll again. We tied. A five.
All right, you guys get the first round. There's
two imps left? There are currently two imps,
yes. Okay. Did they miss their attacks last turn?
Did they take attacks last turn? Is the real
question. Because I don't think that they did.
I think that they did and that you just rolled
and they missed and so you just forgot to say
it. Yep, that sounds right. Yeah, they rolled
a 9 and a 2 anyways, so they definitely missed.
So you guys go ahead and take their first round,
and then I'll be sure to take it. Good. Then
I'm not going to lose this 20 as I shoot the
one that I missed at with a 21 to hit. All right,
roll your damage. Two. You sink a bolt into the
one that flew into the chamber. My turn? Sure.
The 10. 10 does not hit. Jock, did you hit? I
rolled a 6, but even with all of the pluses,
it is not. get higher than 15 so i don't think
so dang nope all right truck the one that you've
been battling with now for some time finally
like it jumps onto you and stings its tail straight
under your mail in a seam i need you to make
me a poison saving throw please you will get
a plus four um it's a 10 altogether Is that your
saving throw score? Yes, yes, I matched my saving
throw. All right. Lucky you. You managed to negate
the effects of the poison. However, you do take
six damage as this barbed tail goes deep into
your side, drawing out a large amount of blood.
The other one misses completely and is between
Russer and Aurora. Well, I'm going to swing at
it with my chain mace. It's not your turn. Not
yet. You guys already went and missed. Oh. However,
it might be your turn when we roll initiative
right now. Four. Russer, the imp leaps at you
with its tail whipping wildly, and it grabs onto
your leather armor and tries to stab it into
you. Does a 11 beat your armor class? No. And
Truck, does a 14 beat yours? A 14 matches my
armor class. Okay. Then neither of these imps
are successful. Oh, my God. I didn't hit. I hit
the one I was shooting at before for a 20. Okay.
Roll your damage. Four. All right. You sink another
bolt into this imp, and it takes several steps
backwards and looks pretty delirious. It's out
of the fight, but still standing. I miss. I roll
a 15. Okay. I rolled like an eight. Okay. No
problem. As you guys are all fighting, everybody
make me a dexterity saving throw. That's a one.
I got a nine. Twelve. Do we get a plus one of
that? Anybody that failed takes two fire damage
as flame erupts from the ground again. Two? Yes.
That's a six. That's your initiative? Mm -hmm.
You guys get the first round. How many? There's
two left? Right now, yes. One in a partial. I'm
going to hit that one that's standing in front
of me. Sixteen hits, right? A 16 does hit. Yeah,
I'm just going to smash it in the face with the
butt of the crossbow and take it out of the fight.
Okay. You kill it as you smash it in the face.
Leaving just the one that Chuck's been fighting
since the beginning. First six I've rolled the
whole game. And I rolled a 20 for the one I'm
hitting, and I hit it for a five. Okay. Oh, I
also rolled a 20. All right, roll your damage.
Two. I also get to roll a D4 if it lives. It
does live. It will do one less damage next time.
So it gets a minus one to its attack roll, which
it is now. All right. So it rolled a one as it
lunges at you, Aurora, but it is unsuccessful.
Flying into the chamber is another imp. I'm rolling
initiatives. I rolled a one. Excellent. The imp
lunges again. Does a 15 beat your armor class,
Aurora? It clings onto your cloak of protection,
like stabbing wildly, but isn't able to make
it. through. Russer, the new one, flies into
the chamber. However, it is very unsuccessful
in its attacks as it begins to circle your head.
I rolled a 19. What I want to do is I want to
grab that one that I had been fighting with that
had been just clinging on to life. The one that's
on my club? Yes, the one that's attacking. I
want to grab it and I want to throw it at or
strike the other one with it. Okay. I guess roll
me a d4 for damage. A 2. The blunt force trauma
that, plus one, plus one, that you inflict on
the one that you threw kills it completely, and
you manage to knock the other one out of the
air, leaving just one. Everybody make me a dexterity
saving throw. Oh, is that the end of our? Oh,
wait, you didn't go. I didn't go either. I hit
the other one for a 17 doing six damage. Oh,
that's right. I think we just skipped initiative.
Connor just went, didn't he? No, the other one's
wet in mass. We should have let Connor go, and
then we didn't go. Sorry, go ahead. I shot at
the ones that Connor threw together, hitting
for a 17, doing 6 damage. One that's still alive.
Alright, Aurora. Are those two then on the ground
now? One of them is. The other's dead. There's
just one left. I'm gonna smash it with my mace.
For a 20. A 20 hits? Yay. Four. And you crunch
this last one's head as you smack it with your
mace again. Yay! Killing your third one. Everybody
make me a dexterity saving throw. Six. Yeah,
seven. Seventeen. Whoever failed takes four fire
damage as you're completely engulfed in fire.
Chuck the human fighter needs food badly. I have
one HP left. Oh my god. Yeah, I hand him an extra
healing potion, or a potion of extra healing.
Okay, so that does 3d6 plus? Three. Nine. The
screaming is still coming from these carved faces
that continue to pour out blood. And as we mentioned
before, some of the blood is leaking onto the
floor now, and the door is still sealed. Is there
a keyhole in this door? There is no keyhole.
Can we just smash the faces? You can. Can I rub
one of the dead imps on the obelisk? Yeah. The
bloodiest looking one. Sure. You rub the bloody
imp on the obelisk and nothing happens. Okay,
I rub some of my own blood from where I have
been pierced on the obelisk also. And when you
are touching the obelisk, the red seal on the
door glows bright red. However, it does not unlock.
Okay, I'm going to keep touching this obelisk.
One of you guys go try and do blood over there.
Maybe you can just pick them up off the ground.
Can I use keen detection to see if there's a
switch or a lever, whatever? It seems like it's
just the seal and the obelisk. It's going to
be blood magic. All right, I will slice my hand
open and put my hand on the other obelisk. Did
you get attacked at all? No. Okay. Lucky you.
All right, slice your hand and pound the door.
When you do that, the seal begins to glow an
even deeper red, and you feel not just like your
hand leaking blood, but you feel the blood begin
to be pulled from your hand and begins to fill
up this seal. It kind of sucks. It does hurt.
Okay. Roll me 1d6. Also, try to splash the blood
off the floor onto that door. You take 4 HP damage
as you feel your blood continue to flow through
your wound. Is it doing anything? It does seem
like the seal is becoming more complete as blood
flows through you. Instead of the light, it's
kind of getting filled up with blood. Ruster,
try and push those bloody imps onto that seal.
Yeah, I'm going to try and take a corpse and
put... The imp blood just leaks down the seal
and doesn't do any. I just keep doing it. Okay.
Roll another d6 for me. Six. When you get to
that point, you're very drained of blood. However,
the seal does fill itself and it releases your
hand and you go tumbling backwards. The door
does slide up and open into a dark hallway in
front of you. Excellent. I will cast Pure White
Wounds on myself. Okay. I'm going to hold my
hand on the obelisk until Russer gets through,
and then I'm going to make a run just in case.
I got seven points back. Okay. Russer, you run
through the door? Yeah. All right. Aurora, you
follow? Yeah. Truck? Yes. Once they're through
the part that slides, I can release my hand from
the obelisk and run. Make me a dexterity saving
throw. Four. You take two more points of fire
damage as you dive through the door. And as you
do, you hear the screech of another imp come
flying down towards the chamber. However, the
door slams shut, crushing it underneath and decapitating
it as its little imp head rolls to your feet.
Gross. And in front of you guys is a completely
dark hallway. And that's where we're going to
end today's episode. Nice. So we will continue
playing White Box next time. But until then,
we will see you next, next Tuesday. That's it
for today's episode. We hope you've enjoyed listening
as much as we've enjoyed playing. If you have,
go run and tell all your friends so that we can
turn as many people into CritCats as possible.
Tales from the Crit is a Wolfbeard Games audio
podcast. And if you like us, please subscribe
and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts
and head on over to our Instagram page and our
YouTube channel. Both of those are at Tales from
the Crit Podcast. All right. Bye -bye. You land
a... That's okay. Connor, where's my D4? Right
there. Oh, excellent. Looks like Ruster's killing
himself again. I'm imagining all of the demons
from that macaroni show on Netflix. Macaroni
show? Macaroni. Oh. Disenchanted. Yes. Lucy.
Those are the scenes that I'm picturing. I'm
like, oh, yes, we're in the hell area of that
show. So Anna, AK, and I play a game that Rebecca
runs, and Anna's character is a tiefling, and
I can't picture her anything other than that
little black demon that follows the main character.
And she's like, no, I'm pale, I'm a tiefling,
I'm white. You're a humanoid? No, you're a shadow
demon, and that's all you are. It's just like
a little weird thing. Which we will see you next
Tuesday for. That seemed weird.