Welcome to Tales from the Crit Season 3. Bigger,
badder, and stickier. By joining us today, you
have been officially upgraded to Crit Cat status.
So, welcome to the club. Tales from the Crit
is an actual play podcast where we focus on smaller
story arcs from some of your favorite RPGs, as
well as some of the less known or obscure ones.
We also play some highly narrative tabletop board
games and also some micro RPGs. All of those
feature a revolving cast of players, so you're
going to see a lot of variety there. And as always,
I am your host and your Crit Keeper, Riley Groves.
We're so glad to have you here with us today.
Now let's get into the episode. Content warnings
can be found in the description. Welcome back
to Tales from the Crypt. I am Riley, and at the
table I've got Rebecca. Hello. Derek. Hi. And
Connor. Let's do it. Yeah, we're getting back
into White Box. I've been searching for our Ultimate
RPG Campfire card deck for, like, we'll say three
hours. It's been about six minutes. I can't find
it. So we're just going to jump into the episode
and continue on playing White Box. Sound good?
Yeah. Sounds perfect. Why don't you guys remind
everybody who you're playing? I'm playing Aurora.
I am an elf cleric, and I'm a level 5. Awesome.
I am playing Russor. I am a dwarven thief, and
I am also a level 5. All right. And I am playing
Truck, a level 5 human fighter. Awesome. And
where we left off with you guys just going into
the old hermit's house. Where he's inside and
he shuffles over. He's hunched and he's like
very gaunt. His robes hang off his body. He's
got a very earthy smell to him. His cabin isn't
gross, but it is definitely dirt floored and
lacking many amenities. But he does make his
way over to a boiling teapot. I would love some
tea if you didn't mind. What did you put in there?
It's a delicious grass tea. See, I told you guys.
The grass. I'd love to try some. The trick is
to mix it with lavender and some honeysuckle.
So other grass. More than one grass, yes. More
than one grass. Okay. Grass and flower. My favorite.
Hey. He shuffles over and grabs some clay cups
off a shelf nearby and begins to pour. Four cups
of tea. This is much better than the one I made.
I've had a lot of practice. So sit down and let's
talk about why you're here. Yes, we are here
because we heard that you can bring people back
from the dead. That is the idea. Although I can't
just do it. I have discovered how through many
now months of research, and I believe that I
have figured out a way. So have you done it before?
No, I haven't, but I've been searching for a
while now. You know, I lost my niece recently
in the last two years. I guess it's been not
recent anymore. And she was very helpful to me,
and I would want her to come back and live a
nice long life and take over my little hut or
sell it or whatever when I die, but it's very
hard to be an old man by himself. I can imagine.
You see, I'm not very strong these days, so I
was hoping to bring her back, and I researched
and spent all of the savings that I had, which
wasn't much, to discover the information that
I did. So we could certainly help you. That would
be tremendous. Important question. Do you need
a body? Because, like, we don't have one. No.
All you need is something valuable that the person
perceived was valuable, something that they resonated
with, in order to bring them back. No physical
bodies are necessary, although I do have my nieces.
In a way, she's buried out back. She's not...
But I have her locket, which I was planning on
using, and he holds up a tarnished brass locket.
So even though her body is in the backyard, you
don't need it? The locket's enough? Yes, I just
had nowhere else to bury her. Okay, because we
have a friend who we would also... We thought
you were going to help us find him. Oh. From
the other side. I did find it was kind of...
Peculiar that you guys just showed up here talking
about the same thing that I've needed. However,
I don't have a way to pay you for helping me
get my niece back. But if it's sufficient, I
can supply you with the information and then
we can get your friend back after we bring my
niece back. That is all that I have to offer.
Does that sound like a good offer, Russer? I
think that sounds reasonable. Okay. He knows
a lot of stuff, so I believe him. How about you,
Aurora? I think it's a great idea, especially
if we do his family first to make sure that it
works. I say privately where the old man can't
hear me. That makes sense. I'm a little concerned
that it's only been a few months that he's been
working on this. I'm going to guess about two
years. That's pretty quick. It's better than
nothing. I'm willing to try it, but I'm glad
we're testing it out on somebody else first.
Okay, so what do you need us to do? There's an
artifact that bestows the power upon its wielder.
It's called a gem heart. And I know where it
is, but I don't know what it would take to get
there. One other fellow did help me at one point.
I sent him to a large cemetery where I believe
the artifact to be kept in a crypt of an old
family named the Nazeers. However, he went to
where the location of the cemetery is and he
found an arch that said that the cemetery was
there, but there was no graves or anything that
he could see. So I don't know if he actually
went or what. Well, perhaps we'll see him on
the way. Oh, he came back and told me that there
was nothing there. I hope you don't see him on
the way. I don't care if you do or don't. That
was a number of months ago now. What was his
name? What should we do if we do see him? His
name. His name. Oh, his name. Was it Jeff? Because
we met a Jeff in the woods. It's a very popular
name in this area. It's become popular. See,
when I lived in the town, the name Jeff was not
very popular. In fact, only idiots had the name
Jeff. I don't believe it was Jeff. I wouldn't
hire a Jeff. Okay. That's good. I wouldn't have
hired this guy either. Okay. So you made a good
choice. Yes. His name was Star something. I can't
remember. Star something. Got it. I don't think
it's important. Oh, okay. He took several of
my last. pieces of copper and told me to go expletive
myself. Oh. Well, if we see him, we'll get your
copper back. Fuck Jeff. That's not necessary.
And once again, his name wasn't Jeff. Well, it
might as well be, it seems. Okay. So, I could
show you the way, but I would need a map if you
had one, so I could mark it on there. Here is
my map. Excellent. This is a funny map. Why does
it have my house and an X next to it? Because
we needed to know how to get here. Someone else
drew that. Well, that's odd. Maybe that was Star
Something who got the map. Maybe it was. Maybe
it was. All right, well, here, let me see. And
he takes your map. He scratches an X mark in
just the kind of beginnings of a mountain pass,
and he hands it back to you. Thank you. Yes,
you're welcome. There the cemetery should be.
From what I've read, it's quite extravagant.
I don't know what star. Maybe it was bright.
Seems a little on the nose. I don't remember.
Anyways, that's where he said that the archway
was, but there was no cemetery attached. But
I also, at great cost, got the key to the Nazia
family crypt. And he holds out an onyx key that
has a simple leather loop through it and reaches
it towards the three of you. I believe you'll
need this to get into the crypt where the Jemha
is located. Well, thank you for this. I'll take
the key. What'd you say, onyx? Yes. That's a
weird key. I've never seen one like that. It
is. From my studies, I've learned that the Nazir
family is one of the oldest ones in the cemetery,
perchance maybe even the oldest altogether. They
died out quite some time ago, though, from my
understanding. So maybe it's just old, but like
way older than me. That's got to be old because,
I mean, you look pretty old. I'm 83, yeah. Oh,
that's quite young. He can't even remember. It's
been so long. It might be young to an elf, but
yes, to a human, I can't remember. About how
far north? How many days travel by foot? We didn't
bring horses because I didn't understand map
scale. I haven't used a map to that kind of effect
in quite some time. I don't travel much anymore.
Maybe two days. Maybe if you're slow, three days.
All right. Sounds doable. Maybe we can run and
do it in one day. Perhaps. You'd be stronger
than me. Are you going to carry me? I could try.
You've never let me before. And we won't be now.
Okay. I've heard you dwarves are excellent sprinters.
They're wasted on long distance. That's accurate.
Ah, my reading has done me well, then. Well,
is there anything we need? Any other things we
need to head north? Nothing that I can furnish.
Although, if you'd like some tea, I can put some
in a little satchel. Okay. Do you have a little
satchel? No, I don't. I can just hold it in my
hands. Okay. And he goes over and he grabs a
handful of this tea that looks like it's got
lavender, grass, maybe some honeysuckle in it,
and puts it in your hand. Okay. And then I'll
mix this with my own grass later. All right,
guys. Let's go. Don't get any dust in that. Then
just add to the flavor. He said the more stuff
you put in, the better. I didn't say that. Bye
-bye. Thank you for your time. Thanks again.
I look forward to seeing you all again. As do
we. With the item. The gem heart. Yes. It's surprising.
You didn't even ask what it looked like or anything,
but... I feel like we'll know it when we see
it. Do you know what it looks like? It's kind
of a red precious stone kind of looking amulet.
surrounded by gold inlays, and the stone itself
is quite murky. It's not clear like you would
expect. Okay, a murky stone. But yes, it should
be quite evident. I mean, how many magical amulets
can you run into in a cemetery? Not just in the
cemetery, beyond wherever the funky key leads,
right? I suppose, yes. I didn't even think about
that. Although, if there were going to be a lot
of funky stones, they might all be. behind a
place you need a key to get into. That's... I
assume it goes to like a mausoleum. That would
make the most sense. Well, okay then. Anyway...
And the old man goes back to a table that he
has outside of his hut and you just hear a mortar
and pestle grinding together as you guys walk
through the clearing. Okay. Two day walk. We
walked all that way to get here just for this
guy to... Tells he's never done this before.
Yeah, that was a little weird. And what are you
both complaining about? I'm the one who has to
walk twice the distance. I wasn't so much complaining.
Anyway, are we ready to head out? I feel like
I can do anything after drinking that grass tea.
Let's go. Off we go. And we head north. The path
north is not nearly as... as the one even to
the hermit's house, which was also not well traveled.
It's very overgrown. A pathway at all is barely
able to be seen. Russer, try this. And I just
start sticking pieces of tea in your mouth. You
can just chew it. You don't even need to mix
it with water. Stop it, you freaking weirdo.
Wait, you've got to get one of the flowers, too.
Take the flower. Take the flower. Don't be putting
freaking flowers in my mouth. I'll put a rock
in yours. If you could jump that high. All right.
Somebody give me a roll of a D6. Oh, no one rolled
one of those. It's a one. Excellent. As you continue
to move north towards where the cemetery is,
you guys talk about tea for quite some time before,
Russell, you look down and there's clearly no
path. And you begin to look around. And there's
definitely no path that's visible to you right
now. It seems you guys have wandered off the
trail. Have we been paying attention to where
we're supposed to go on the map? Because there's
no trail here. I've just been following you.
I've been following you. I'm just walking straight
north. He said it was north and it looks pretty
north on the map. And when I see a mountain,
I'm going to take a slight left. West, some might
call it. Some might. Well, we might as well just
keep going forward. Well, okay then. I mean,
I don't see anything except forests everywhere
I look, I don't think. Is it starting to get
dark yet? Like, in the woods dark? Yeah, let's
see. We've established that it's springtime and
you're at the Hermit's house around noon. So
making it, we'll say like right beginning to
be evening, like four o 'clock. Just when you
start to notice the shadows changing. Okay. That's
what I was imagining. Well. Since we're kind
of off the trail at this point, I think we should
take some time to get our bearings and maybe
set up camp for the evening, find something to
eat and start a fire, clear a little space. Yeah,
that makes sense to me, I think. I know it'll
add to our trip a little bit, but I think it's
worth it at this point. We'll just get up earlier
tomorrow and head out. Hey, you, tall boy. Go
to the top of the tree and see what you can see.
Okay, put out your hands real quick. Put out
my hands real quick. And then just drop the remaining
bits of tea into your hands. Is there any liquid
left or is it just like the... No, it's just
the dry liquid. It was all the dry tea. Any liquid
is just from truck. Well, I guess I'll go start
a fire. Okay, I'm going to climb to the top of
this tree. Okay. Or at least I'm going to attempt
to. Sure, give me a dex save. A 19. Perfect.
You are able to pick the largest tree in the
area, and you scale up pretty effortlessly as
high as you can go to look around. And when you
get to the top, you can see the general direction
of the mountains is still well in front of you,
but still north. So you know you're heading in
the right direction. But as you scan kind of
the immediate area, you do see a... medium -ish
size body of water, only a few hundred yards
from your camp or where you're going to set up
your camp right now. Does the water look like
it is coming from the mountains? Like if we went
over to it, could we then follow it up towards
the mountains? You don't see any inlets. It just
looks like a regular lake or a small lake. A
lake or a pond. Large pond, yeah. All right.
I'm going to kind of start. shimmying down the
tree and then just drop from further than I think.
I'm on the ground. Aurora! Yeah? What do you
think of this spot over here? I think it looks
pretty great. I'm kicking brush and ground leaves
and stuff into a pile. A little smoke layering
in between a couple trees. Thump. Kind of looks
like it has a decent smoke outlet for the canopy.
Guys, there's a... Like a, oh gosh, there's like
water, a thing, like you could swim in it. A
pool? Nearby. A lake? Yeah, a lake or something
like that. Oh, okay. I didn't see it going anywhere,
but it's not too far. If we want to move our
camp over there, we can maybe get some water
from that to make the tea. It's not a bad idea,
Chuck. Why don't you just carry the water if
it's not that far? Because my hands can only
hold so much. Okay, we'll pick up all this stuff
I got for the fire, carry it down there. I'm
going to keep kicking at the pile. Okay, do more
stuffing. Kicking it in the right direction,
towards the water. Towards the water, you're
going to kick the pile of leaves a couple hundred
yards north. Yeah, Aurora's tired. She doesn't
feel like helping too much. But it looks like
she's doing a lot. Scoop up a big, huge arm full
of just small sticks and... leaves and pieces
of brush just pick up a piece of log put it on
my shoulder okay show me where the water is and
we just start heading in the direction that i
believe the water to be okay you do a fine job
navigating it and uh a little time later you
guys arrive and see the body of water that he
was talking about very nice truck good job all
right here's the spot and i throw all the sticks
down I start kicking them into a pile. And as
you do, a glint of light from the middle of the
lake catches your eyes. Ooh, shiny. Guys, there's
something in there. In the lake? Something. I
mean, it just shined over here. The sun's not
even that high anymore. I don't know. Well, do
you swim? We don't have a boat. I haven't tried.
How deep could it be? It is a lake, so... Deep
enough? Everybody make me a perception check.
18. 15. 4. I'm guessing you don't save. What's
your saving throw? 10. 4 is less than a 10. Truck
and Aurora, your guys' eyes see... what the light
is glinting off of in the middle of the lake,
and there is a pale hand holding up a sword that
has got the last bit of sunlight gleaming off
its edge, raised in the middle of the lake. Wow,
it looks like a sword raised up in the middle
of the lake. Good thing I brought these binoculars.
That was a good thinking. Yeah, I don't usually
bring them with me. We should probably try to
get that. Ressar is just going to glance over
to what they're looking at and go right back
to making a fire. They said water, and he could
care less. All right. All right. Should we try
and get it tonight, or should we try and wait
for the morning? If you two want to go splashing
around while I make tea, go for it. Okay. I'm
going to go into the water. All right. Can you
make me a dex save? Yes. First, I'm just going
to try and walk, you know, in a little bit. It's
almost as soon as you get a few feet in. I got
a six. Is it six less than your saving throw?
Oh, yes, it is. As soon as you get a few steps
into the lake, it feels like everything that
is touching the water is burning. Ah! Ah! It's
hot. It burns. And you take three HP acid damage.
It's just a bath. No, I'm running away. I'm getting
out of there. Aurora, how filthy was he? He's
like, did he start melting in there? Just the
dirt? Well, you know, I dipped my toe in and
it was pretty toasty in there. I guess a boat
it is. Can we make one? Wait, you dipped your
toe in and then let him go in anyway? I jumped
after he started freaking out. I was just curious.
Did you say four or three, AGP? Three. It could
be four if you wanted it to be. No, I'm good.
Three's friendly. Could we make a boat? I mean,
you could probably make a raft. On a mole scale,
how acidic is that? I mean, he went in it and
burned up pretty quick. I mean, I do have this
cloak of protection. Like a four. It gives me
a plus three AC. And it makes my saving throw
have a plus three. You also have additional...
Is it to poisons? Is it to acid and poison? That's
a different one. That's a different one. It's
poison and paralysis. Mine is to death and poison
saves. But my cloak of protection gives me a
plus three to my saving throw and plus three
to my AC. I roll my d6 to find trap passage,
etc. Excedrin? To find if it's a trap? It says,
I have keen detection 1D6 to find trap passage
except 1 through 4 searched 1 and 2 pass by.
It's one of my traits for being a thing, a dwarf.
I won't make you roll for it because there's
no trap mechanism associated with it. I didn't
know if there was also a passage way to go with
it or a door or a trigger or something like that.
Nope, you find nothing. Okay. Everything around
here is just natural. Okay. I don't know if this
is going to be good water to make the tea with.
It's spicy. But it's already hot. At this point,
I feel like the fire should be going a little
bit. I'm going to walk down with a little thing
to get water, and I'm going to scoop it up and
just see what happens. Not, you know, just scoop
it into a little cup and see. What's the cup
made of? I'm guessing it would either be tin
or wood. You tell me. Probably tin. He's a dwarf.
The tin begins to melt. I just let go of it and
go, no. That is not going to be good for tea.
That is not good at all. Yeah, now that I was
paying attention, I see that that wouldn't be
good to drink. Sorry, you just lost your mug.
Yeah, I'll make another one. I'm very mad at
this body of water. I'm going to shoot it with
my crossbow. Okay. 17 to the lake. The water
has an AC of zero, I guess. Take that. So a good
15. Where do you aim when you shoot it? Towards
the shiny thing. Towards the shiny thing? Okay.
You just watch your arrow sink into the water
and out of sight. Yep. Okay. I do feel a little
better, though. However, because you did roll
so well, a few seconds later, you see... The
arrow shaft float to the top of the asin. It
didn't harm the wood? I'm going to look out over
the water and look to see if it... What does
that mean, Russer? It came back up. Well, it
probably means that a tree would probably survive
the trip out. Do you think any of these trees
are tall enough that we could just cut one down
and have a bridge? Probably not, but that's up
for the lumberjack to find out. You and I need
to find water. Oh, that is true. Hmm. I don't
have any on me. I'm suggesting that truck go
cut down a few trees and gather some stuff like
that for possibly a makeshift raft. And you and
I should try and locate water so we... Don't
die, since apparently we didn't bring any. Not
in my inventory. That would have been smart,
but yes, I will look around. Do I roll to find
water? Sure, roll me 1d6. Oh, that was a d20.
2. 1. The two of you wander off. Do you go together
or in separate directions? I mean, I would check
in separate directions, but not be terribly...
Try not to be at a yelling distance. Okay. You
guys search around, but you're getting a little
far from camp without finding any water. Truck,
what are you doing? I'm wandering around the
campsite area looking for trees that are big
enough that I can push over or break the bases
up with my Morningstar. to either try and find
something that's big enough that I can throw
into the water at the shiny thing, or maybe,
you know, lash together with smaller parts of
the trees to make some sort of raft. Okay. You
can find any type of tree that you're looking
for. You're in the woods, so finding the right
trees doesn't take too, too long. I'm just taking
all the trees. He's not very, has no discernment.
He's like, this is a tree. Yep, you can come
with me. Okay, and as you get back to camp, Russer
and Aurora are not back yet. Okay. I hope they
didn't fall in the water. No. No, I'm going to
wait here. I'm just going to keep getting more
stuff. Okay. I'm going to keep looking. Yeah,
look one more time. Okay. It's a one. Mine was
a one -two. I'm not using that dice anymore.
Okay. Two ones. Without straying too far from
camp, you guys can still see the smoke rising,
and you can hear just the thud of trees being
set down continuously, but you don't find any
springs. I will head back to camp. Yeah, I'm
going to as well. Okay. Well, that was unsuccessful.
Yeah, I did not find anything. Well, I got all
these big trees and some of these smaller ones,
and I'm, you know, just trying to tie them together.
I can, you know, maybe just poke the shiny thing,
or someone who's got balance can try and paddle
out there. That's a good idea. I'm sure we could
find a stick long enough to, like... I got a
lot of sticks here. There's a lot. Watch your
step, though. I'm going to take a second to arrange.
The logs that he has in an order that makes a
little more sense for a raft. Okay. You didn't
like me putting all the big ones in the middle?
No. No, if you do it this way, put it here, here,
and here with all the little ones in the bottom.
It should hold us up so we don't get our feet
eaten. Okay. I believe you. So just for reference,
this shiny thing is about 60 feet out into the
water. Okay, so I'm not stringing together enough
trees to just poke it from here. No, I guess
not. What does the surface of this lake look
like? Is it one that has a little turbulence
to it, or is it mostly calm? It's pretty calm.
It has some flow to it, but they're not waves.
Okay. Have we seen any birds or fish in the lake?
Around. There are some around. In the woods,
but I guess noticeably not in the water. Okay.
Another question. What does everybody have for
food? I had a handful of dry tea. What happened
to that? It's on the rock over there next to
the fire waiting for water. Oh, okay. Well, we
might just have to eat that. I thought Riley
said before that we had our rations. You were
provisioned pretty well. Yeah. So I won't say
that you guys... If you guys want to be starving
and without food, that's up to you guys. I just
didn't write down anything. Yeah, we didn't go
into too much detail. But this is only like day
four of your journey, technically. Okay. So we
do have a little bit of food. Oh, I have a bunch
of dried meats. Water. It just, it'd last longer
if we could supplement it with what we had. It's
what I was expecting to do. Oh, I forgot I have
two water bladders on me here. Would you like
some? I was wondering why I was so heavy. Yeah,
I'd break into some of our provisions and start
getting water and food prepared. Okay. I'm gonna
have some Glorp. Okay, definitely an elvish food.
I'm eating my dried tea. Don't eat. I hand him
a cup that I've made. I'm like, I made you some.
You don't have to eat it. Oh. Oh. Yeah, this
is much better. Always looking out for me, Russer.
You're a great guy. I have to. You wouldn't make
it if it wasn't for the rest of us. And you're
great at making whatever that thing is. Rafts.
Question. Did you ever cut the tops of the trees
off? Or is there just, like, at a certain point,
they just... Start to taper off. Yeah, no, I
just pulled them. Some of them are broken a little
bit, but nothing is cut. I have a morning star
as mine. There are certain parts of the trees
that are smashed a little bit. It makes it more
rustic. Some have large amounts of roots and
branches attached to the end. Excellent. Oh,
boy. Well, eat up, because we've got to take
care of this early, so we can... Move on, you
said the mountains were still to the north? Well,
look, this one's got some eggs and there's a
nest in this piece of raft. Oh, lovely. It'll
go well with breakfast. But yes, the mountains
were still north. I'm going to scoop that nest
up and put it back in the tree. Sorry, Rosser.
I know you wanted the eggs for breakfast, but...
It'll be all right. I don't want you to crack
it open and see, like, more than you want to.
Nothing will get to them up there. Mm -hmm. So
they'll be there in the morning. Not for us,
no. Anyway, ready, truck? I'm ready for anything,
but mostly I'm ready for bed. Oh, I thought we
were going to push the raft out. Oh, no, I was
going to do that in the daylight. Oh, okay. I
agree. I don't have dark vision. Oh, I forgot
you can't see what I can see. Now I just see
the scary water. Mine doesn't say I have dark
vision, but I'm saying so. Yeah. I'm going to
go find a comfy rock to eat my rations and fall
asleep on. You find the comfiest rock in the
bunch. I'm sleeping on the raft. And Aurora,
you're staying up. Yeah, I think we said I don't
sleep, right? Yep. Yeah. You watch as the moon
rises, and you can see the moonlight now glinting
off the sword, still in the middle of the lake.
And morning comes. You guys are pretty deep in
the woods. So no more prying eyes come to see
what you're up to this night. That's the best
night of sleep I've gotten since we left town.
Rust horse is going to wake up as soon as the
birds start chirping in the morning. Stoke the
fire, get it going again. Boil a little bit of
water. Make the rest of truck's tea. Have that
with everybody. Well there, Captain. Are you
ready to set sail? Oh, I'm ready. I've latched
together like two or three of the skinnier trees
in a very long fashion. Okay. To use as like
I know. A pole to push the raft out and hopefully
poke at the stick, the sword. All right. We'll
give you a good push. Oh, I thought we were going
with them. Oh, are we? Okay. Yeah, I was going
to roll a stump into the center of it and stand
on top of it. All three of you are setting off
on this raft. Sure. Okay. You push it off into
the water and it floats and you're able to use
your stick as a gondola. It sinks in pretty...
deep into the mud and muck on the bottom, stirring
it up, and you see small pieces of foliage rise
to the top before falling again. So, like, it's
just stirring up the bottom of the... Mm -hmm.
Okay, so it's pretty mucky down there. Gross.
Let's try not to stir too much stuff up as we
get closer to the sword so I can see it, I guess.
Yeah, you guys don't melt or sink in as you approach.
The sword being held by the pale arm in the middle.
And this pale arm with the sword is like 60 feet
down or no? It was 60 feet out into the lake.
It's 60 feet out into the lake. So you guys are
basically in the middle of the lake. All right.
Now. Awesome. So how far down can I poke it with
the stick? You're poking the arm? Or the sword?
Or what lies beneath? What lies beneath? I'm
going underneath. I'm poking like, you know,
if I can see just the arm and the hand, I'm trying
to poke in like the shoulder area or something.
I guess, yes, the armpit. Okay. You poke down
into the water with the stick and you feel a
definite resistance where you would expect it
to be. Okay. Does it feel sturdy? It does. I
don't... Didn't think about how we were going
to retrieve the sword. All right. I throw a little
loop around the arm and pull the raft right up
next to it and kind of tie it off so we're not
drifting. Okay, you are now tied to the arm.
Okay, so we're tied to the arm. I'm going to
try and push away and see if I can pull with
the raft and we're lassoed to this arm now. I'm
going to see if we can get the sword out of it.
That's what we were here for. Grab the sword,
yeah. All right. You guys are probably about
level with the sword at this point, being on
a raft. Oh, so it's sticking up like kind of
out of the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.
You're like just past the elbow up is holding
the sword. Now it is a little bit longer than
a regular arm. Right. And then the sword is being
held up into the air. In my head, I was thinking
that the... The whole sword arm structure was
submerged by at least, like, ten feet, and then
we were, like, kind of seeing it in the water.
Oh, no, it is sticking up above the surface of
the water. Oh, that was my misinterpretation.
How big is the sword now that we are right next
to it? It's a one -handed sword. Okay, so it
is... So the statue holding it is giant, and
the sword looks silly and small in its arms?
It's not, like, silly and small. It looks...
It would be compared to the statue, though. It's
a one -handed sword for the statue. Yes, exactly.
Sure. Okay. It's not like a small sword, and
it's not gigantic. Any one of you could wield
this sword and have it be regular. I didn't say
it was a giant statue. Well, the water's deep.
The arms stick it out. I figured it's got to
be a pretty big statue. All right. Well, guys,
I tried to tickle it, not letting go, so I'm
just going to try and pry this sword right out
of its hands. As you approach along the blade
is the inscription, only the worthy. Truck can't
read too well. Okay. Truck going for it. Guys,
there's stuff over here. Do you want to look
at it before I just yank this out? Yeah, it says
only the worthy. Going for it. Okay. Make me
a strength check. I got a five. You crank on
the sword. With all your might. And... It feels
like maybe it moved. But the end result is that
you don't have a sword in hand. Well, I loosened
it up when you guys can try. Get out of the way.
I'm gonna give it a try. Roll with disadvantage.
Well... I rolled with advantage. No, you rolled
with disadvantage. And I got a seven. Okay. Which
was my read. You pull, and similarly nothing
happens. Okay, I'll try. So I add a plus three
to my saving throw. This is not a saving throw.
This is always, anything you throw is a saving
throw. Oh, well then 19. You pull on the sword,
and you pull it right out of the hand that is
holding it. It's easy, boys. You should have
been able to do that. Wow, you really yanked
that one. Took a right half there. It's more
about being gentle. Everybody make me a dex save.
11. 19. As you're saying that's easy, Aurora,
the hand smashes onto your guys' raft and knocks
you into the acid water. Oh, fuck. You take two
acid damage. All of us? No, just her. Okay. Okay.
I'm going to try to scramble up onto the arm
because it's out of the water. Just hit the raft.
Okay. Is it holding onto the raft? Like it's
on there now? Yes, this is split second sort
of things. You fall in and all of a sudden a
second arm bursts out of the water and semi -submerges
the end of you guys' raft. as a creature pulls
itself up out of the water. And it's a very gaunt,
bony, white body. And it has just row after row
of teeth. And its spine dissolves down into just
a row of bones that is incredibly long. As soon
as she pulled the sword free, I was going to
detach the rope. Pull the... Hold on to the rope
in the arms. We weren't totally. Yeah, that's
fine. Okay. From there, I'm going to hold on
to my little log and hopefully I don't drown
in acid. Yeah, no one wants to drown in acid.
Yeah, let's make an initiative roll. Yeah. One
person roll for the group? 20 or 6. It's a D6.
Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez, Rick. As you guys are all
kind of thrown off guard, Aurora, you're tossed
into the water. This creature rears up and then
a second pair of arms unfolds. Russer and truck.
Both of you get hit as this thing reaches out
with its claws, smacking you. Truck, you're going
to take three. Russer, you're going to take four
damage. Both of you also go ahead and make me
a... Dexterity saving throw. I failed. I got
a six. I got an eight. Is that two fails? Yeah.
Okay. You're both knocked into the acid water.
You're going to take five. Russer, you're going
to take two. Aurora, what about you? What are
you doing? Try to scramble back up on them. Okay.
You make me a dex save. That's a one. You take
one point of acid damage. Okay. Now it's your
guys' turn. Yeah, I'm going to definitely try
and get back on the raft. Okay. Dex saves for
getting back on the raft. 21. I also tried to
get back on the raft. I got a 12. Did everybody
pass? Yes. We'll call that your movement. Everybody's
back on the raft, and you can still have an action.
I'm pushing the stick towards this thing to try
and propel us away from it. Okay. I am going
to fire a crossbow bolt down and in. I'm also
yelling, I'm sorry. No, we're sorry. Aurora?
I'm going to slice at it with this new sword
I got. Okay. Cool. So in turn order, truck, you
give me a strength. 18. Okay. You're able to
push a pretty good distance away from this thing
quickly. Russer, give me your attack roll. That's
20, right? Yep. 12. You fire a crossbow bolt.
Wait, no. 13. Sorry, 13. 13? Yep. Sorry. You
fire a crossbow bolt at this monstrosity, and
it lodges into, like, where two vertebrae might
meet on its spine, and it cries out. How much
damage? Four. Okay, and we'll say, sorry, Aurora,
before truck pushes away completely, why don't
you go ahead and make... Your attack roll. You
said you wanted to attack with the sword, right?
Yeah. Should have done that first, sorry. The
sword that you're holding right now, you feel
some power surge through you, and it is actually
going to add a plus three to your roll. On top
of the plus three, I already have. It's not a
saving throw. It's two attacks. You said they
were all saving throws. There's attacks or two
hits. So on the bottom, there might be a plus
on the very bottom right there. Oh, I have a
plus one. So I don't know. So a 10 plus 3. So
a 13. You have a plus 1 to hit, so you add that
to your roll, and then this sword's granting
you a plus 3 to hit. And to damage. And to damage,
so go ahead and roll me 1d6. A 3. That's 6 damage.
That is 6 damage. So as you and Russer attack
it at the same time, and you stab it with this
sword, and truck pushes off simultaneously, the
thing lets out a shriek. And quickly dives back
under the water. We're sorry, we're sorry, we're
sorry. Keep rowing! Well, that was pretty close,
boys. Going as fast as I can. Truck, how bad
are you feeling? I'm feeling as bad as I've ever
felt. Okay. I'd say I'm feeling about as third
good as I could be feeling. Okay, let me try
to heal you a little bit. 3d6 plus 3, that's
only 4, plus 3 is 7. I can take that. Nice. Our
first healing spell of the game. Mm -hmm. I don't
have, like, spell slots or anything, like, in
5e. Yes, you do. Oh, but I think that was a potion,
because I wrote it under equipment. Yeah, that
would be our extra healing potion. Oh, good.
The spells I thought you could use, like, once
per day, and then you had to... Yeah, once per
sleep cycle. You have... ...editate to get them
back in the morning. Yes, but you have two first
-level spell slots. two second -level spell slots,
and one third -level spell slot. And you have
turn undead basically as a cantrip. Every time
I read cantrip, I think of... Catnip. Catnip,
and also... Caltrops? Are those Caltrops? Ninjas
dropped? Yep. I think of those a lot. And you
guys make it back to the edge of the acid water.
Is that thing just hiding in the lake, or does
it look like it's coming back for us with a vengeance?
You don't see any signs of it at the moment.
I loaded the crossbow and... I haven't taken
my eyes off the surface of the water yet. That
was pretty scary, guys. My chainmail did not
like falling in the water very much. It looks
very shiny. It is a little bit cleaner now. Yes,
my legs are burnt to shit. Parts of it are stuck
to my skin, though. I think my beard is shorter.
Oh, it looks a little, yeah, burnt on the ends,
too. Little pieces falling out. It doesn't smell
great. That sword looked like it did a pretty
nasty number to that thing, though. It really
did. This was a pretty handy sword. Would you
like it? Yeah, sure. Since you can't use pointed
weapons, right? You weren't using it. It was
a reflexive action. I panicked, yeah. And I happened
to do okay. But you should have it, yes. You'll
be better equipped to deal with this. Truck,
this is a plus three sword. And once a day, you
can also take an extra attack. Nice. X -T -R
-A -A -T -K. Okay. I immediately just start swinging
it around above my head and stuff, making, sh
-sh -shah! Using that extra attack tonight. Russell's
going to keep his head low and start breaking
camp down. Nothing's coming out of that water.
Nothing's coming out immediately. Russell, you
don't have to duck. I don't think you're tall
enough to get hit. I don't trust that buffoon.
I'm going to throw all of the raft and extra
logs and everything just back into the water,
just pushing as much stuff in there. And it floats
out. It was scary, guys. I don't ever want to
mess with this lake again. That thing was big.
Hopefully there's not more of them. Hopefully
they just stay in the acid water. Where was that
inscription? It's on the sword. It's on the sword?
Okay. You look and there are words on the sword,
although you can't determine what they mean.
I like this shape the best. That's a good shape.
Is it the letter S? Is it? Because only the word
that doesn't contain an S. It's the O. Well,
that was a much more exciting morning than I
had thought we were going to have. Made it through
the night without any fun visitors, but, you
know, started the day off right. It went about
as I had expected. That's why I, you know, just
always trust you so much, Russ, or you always
know exactly what's going to happen. You have
an answer to every one of my questions. I just
really thought the raft was going to sink. It's
a good job. Well, I'm glad that you had enough
faith that it wasn't to get on it. Did you see
I brought my own little one? I thought that was
just so you could see. It did make a good seat.
All right. Well, if we're almost done with the
camp, I think we should start just kind of heading
north and not wait to see if anything comes out
of this pond. Yes, let's get far, far away from
this infernal thing. I liked my camping spot
a lot better than yours. Well, from the top of
the tree, I couldn't tell that this lake was
not drinking water. My mistake. Aurora, as you're
the only one not in this conversation, go ahead
and make me a perception check. 21. you see,
rising from the lake, an arm that's holding onto
a sword, and the light begins to glint off of
it. Is it in the same spot? It is. Guys, there's
another sword? It looks like it's just going
to keep replacing these swords. Out of character,
that is initially what I thought. Would you like
another one, big boy? We already sent our raft
out. I got rid of all the stuff. I only got two
hands. Do you want one? I might be able to throw
you out there to get it. Didn't like me. Well,
if we're not going for it, should we just leave?
Yes. Okay. Swiftly. It's definitely a sword this
time, too, right? It's the same sword? It's a
sword. I don't know if you can tell it's the
same sword from here. This one is the sword for
bad turtles. My elf eyes can see it. I mean,
you see well, and the sun glints off it really
nicely. And I have my binoculars. Do you have
binoculars? I said that. You didn't say that.
I said I did. Okay. You look out, but you do
not see an inscription on the sword. Well, that
looks like it's just for anybody. Maybe there's
just a bunch of people who tried to grab whatever
they were holding at first, and so they just
have a bunch of stuff down there from folks who
didn't make it. Trying to get rid of some stuff,
yeah. It's cluttered down there. You sure you
didn't see an inscription saying something like,
for the eh, so I could use it? I can't see from
here, but I don't think so. Let's get going.
I'll lead the way. I got this new sword that
I can clear. I can blaze the path with. Slice,
slice, slice. I just imagine you running to every
little twig, branch, tiny bush that happens to
be in our way and just making us like a square
cut. But if you turn around, it's perfectly manicured
behind us. It looks great. All right, truck,
you're in the lead, so go ahead and roll me a
D6 for navigation, please. Dun, dun, dun. I'm
going to roll this ugly one. A two. You guys
don't manage to find the path again that you
were looking for. However, you do send trucks
scrambling up several trees, and you are still
moving the general direction north. We've made
a hell of a path for anyone who's coming this
way in the future. Yeah, anybody that gets lost
at the Acid Lake will find a nice way somewhere.
Truck, go ahead and give me another navigation
roll. Check. A one. Nice. Truck's navigating.
Aurora and Russer, you guys may get the feeling
that Truck has been leading you around in circles
when you come. Guys, I found the path. manicured,
square cut, freshly cut path. Do we come to a
T? Do we make a T intersection? Just looped around.
Yeah, you come and you can definitely see that
this is a path that you guys have swathed. Can
I subtly try to help Truck so that he feels like
he's doing it? Sure. 16. Alright, we'll call
a charisma check. Yay. Truck, let's try this
way. Over here. Okay. Going to turn my body just
a little bit this way and just start slicing
through the woods that way. Aurora, do you want
to make the navigation check? Sure. It's a D6.
Oh. Just one? Just one. It's a five. All right.
Yay. By the time nightfall comes, you guys have
come across the path that isn't yours. And does
have some markings similar to the one that you
were traveling on when you first left. I think
we're making great progress. I don't know why
Aurora wanted to just change directions entirely
back there. Now we're on this different path.
Russer, what do you think? Did we make the right
choice? Where are we, Russer? It looks like the
mountains are that way. The sun is that way.
We must keep going that way. I think she did
a good job. Thank you, Russer. What are the,
there's an inscription in the path? No, there's
just like some markings. It's just path markers,
like little blue triangles when you're on the
right path. Like maintained, you know, by the
parks department. Just not often. No, it just
looks like the same quality path as the one you
were on before. Then I have no opinion. Okay.
Just going to keep heading north on this path.
I'm not tired. I don't know if I'm going to be
able to sleep today. That was a very exciting
morning, so. I'm down to keep going. I don't
sleep, so I can keep going. You guys push on.
As evening comes, you continue to push up the
path, and you can see the mountains growing steadily
larger in front of you as you continue down this
path. And kind of at the foothills of these mountains,
you do see a large stone arch in front of you.
Oh, well, weren't we looking for this? I believe
that's the... Front gate to the cemetery we're
heading to. That old man did say something about
an arch. Are there any funny markings on this
one? Look, there's that letter. Yes, there is.
Funny markings right there. You go up and read
the arch? Yeah. All right. Across the entirety
of the arch is a poem. By day I'm nowhere, not
a stone in sight, but moonlight wakes me in the
dead of night. No living may pass through my
silent gate unless they bring one bound to fate.
That was beautiful, Aurora. Did you just come
up with that? Um, no I didn't, and I'm a little
perplexed. Does it seem like we're supposed to
sacrifice someone? It does sound like we're either
supposed to bring a dead or damned with us. Troke,
how are you feeling today? Do we each need something
dead? It sounded like whatever we're looking
for, we can't find during the day. Yeah. And
then maybe the key will let us go in. Maybe that's
the thing that binds us to get in there. I feel
like, I wish I could remember what that guy said.
I feel like he said something that he faithfully
got a key or something like that. Can I remember?
You can remember that I don't know what Connor's
talking about. Oh, okay. Truck, I'm not sure
that you're remembering that correctly. That
could have been one of the stories that my grandmother
used to tell me, too. As the moon rises behind
you guys, suddenly past this gate, or past this
archway, everything the moon is touching past
it begins to be filled with mausoleums and gravestones
and statues. And as the moon continues to rise,
this graveyard just becomes larger and larger
until it takes up pretty much all you can see
in front of the mountains. Maybe the key will
let us get past without the second part. We can
try. Although, aren't we all bound to fate? I
mean, yeah, that's kind of how it works. I'm
not touching any of those statues, guys. It's
a good idea. Do we just walk in? I have the key.
In the arch, did an actual metal gate appear
that we need to use the key in? No. Okay. Is
there just a... Just open. It's just open. There's
no gate. Is there a keyhole just in the stone
arch somewhere? Sadly, no. I'm not that creative.
It's poking every crevice. I'm going to try and
walk through the arch. You walk up to it, and
as you put your foot forward to move through,
you are pretty much stopped. Dead. Step. Can
I walk through? As you walk up next to Russer,
You go to put your foot through the archway,
and it is like walking into a wall. Okay, it's
not the key that's the answer. I think we need
dead stuff. I'm just going to try and run through
the arch. Okay. You run, and you make it as far
past the archway as both Russer and Aurora did,
running into the wall. But with a considerable
crunching sound. I'm not killing anything, but
I think we need something dead. Do we have anything
that belonged to Fasten on us? I don't think
so. I don't think there's anything left of him,
right, guys? Just his boots, and I'm pretty sure
we left those. I don't have anything. Aurora,
how confident are you in your healing spells?
If it's a disease or a light wound, I could...
Also, bless you, which I don't really know what
that means. Well, why don't you bless us all?
Bless you. Bless you, too. What if we take out
the key? Can we throw the key through the...
I'm going to try and throw something that's not
the key through the archway first. Some dry handful
of dry tea. You throw a handful of dried tea
into the archway, and it floats past the invisible
wall. Well, the tea makes it through. Yes, but
is it because it's a dead plant? Or because it's
just... Not people. Nothing. I'm going to pull
out the sword of the worthy. Can I cut through
the invisible wall with that? No. You stab at
the wall and the tip of your sword gets turned
upwards. Oh, my. I then turn it a little bit
and then, you know, straighten it back out. I'm
going to toss a rock through. Okay. You toss
a rock through, and the rock goes through the
archway and lands next to the T. I want to try
it with the key, but I don't think we should
toss the key somewhere where we can't confidently
retrieve it from. Yeah, and I couldn't walk through
with the key, so it didn't really help. Did you
have the key in your pocket, or did you have
it outstretched? Like, oh, I'm looking for the
keyhole here. I'll try it with my arm outstretched.
Okay, what are you doing? I'm trying to go key
first through the gate. Okay. It doesn't work.
It's the invisible keyhole. I know it's not going
to work. You're trying to pin the tail on the
donkey. I'm just appeasing Chuck. Okay, you do
that, and as you hit the archway, your arm gets
turned backwards, and the key do not go through.
By the way, Bless gives them a plus one to all
attack rolls for an hour. Wait a minute. Wait.
Can't we just go around the arch? Guys, look.
There's no gate on the sides. As Truck enthusiastically
runs around the archway, he runs into a solid
wall, knocking him back. Nope. That didn't work
either, guys. Well, Russer, Truck, maybe you
ought to go kill some frogs or something. That's
not what I was thinking. Can you read me that
poem one more time? Yeah. By day I'm nowhere,
not a stone in sight, but moonlight wakes me
in the dead of night. No living may pass through
my silent gate unless they bring one bound to
fate. So we need to bring a dead or dying person.
I really don't like the thought of giving one
of us a mortal wound to see if that gets the
three of us through. Yeah, you should have said
that before I used my only healing potion. I
mean, we didn't know about the circumstance,
but... I also have a healing potion. An extra
healing potion. We didn't pass anyone on the
way here, and now that, you know, see the guy
who's been following us has apparently stopped.
What if we go in during the daytime and just
stay there all night? All day? All day, yeah.
Until the night. That was a thought, to wait
for the moon to go behind the clouds or something
and walk into the area, but I feel like we're
not going to see it. Maybe we put markers that
we will see where the gate is. Is the gate there
before we can see the cemetery? Or does the gate
appear, too? The archway was there the whole
time. I mean, we have time. We're not in a rush.
We could wait till tomorrow, do that, and try
to sneak in, and then we don't maybe have to
kill people or something. Yeah, I don't know
what else bound by fate could mean. I mean, we're
bound together by... I feel like it means something
very specific. Bound by fate to die like someone
who's poisoned? Yeah, somebody who's poisoned,
somebody who's not going to survive. So it's
like a sacrifice. Should we go back and get that
old man? You know, that was my second thought,
besides digging up his niece. Oh, right, yeah.
But the result is we go all the way back there.
So if we do go back, we just bring them both.
It'll only take us a day because we won't stop
at the... We're back on the path. At the lake.
What if we destroy the Stone Arch? She's going
to start attacking it. Is Jeff still around?
I don't know. We could just go back down the
path a little ways and camp not far from the
path and maybe Jeff will show up. But I don't
think he will. Does anyone have poison? Nah.
You have turn on dead or something like that?
I have that, but that doesn't help. That just
makes them run away from us. It doesn't turn
people undead. No. You can't just use guns. Russer
over there. Russer is a zombie now. I only have
two options, which are to stab somebody or go
back and get either the old man or his niece.
I still don't think it needs to be a person.
Okay. Then we go look to hunt some small game
for dinner. Russer, come with me. We should catch
six. We should have three dead. Three that are
planned for death so we can make sure we cover
the full spread on this. On this riddle. Where
are we going? You make a trap. I'm gonna see
if I can shoot something. Like a squirrel or
a pheasant. Alright. Sounds good. Intelligence
saving throw for Russer. Wisdom for truck. 14.
12. That beats both? Yep. All right. You guys
are successful at capturing six critters. What
is the assortment that you get? I got a badger
and a squirrel. Rabbit, a couple squirrels, maybe
a bird. It's a turkey. A whole fucking turkey.
A whole turkey. All right. We won't get into
it. You sacrifice three and you hold three alive.
Everybody holding two, I'm going to guess. One
of each. All right. We're going to send in a
truck here first. Truck, how much plucky optimism
do you use to get through this gate? All of it.
I am just like, I got turkey that's dead in one
hand and a... squirming squirrel on the other
i'm like all right i'm ready and i've just proceed
towards the uh towards the archway okay you take
one step into the archway before your head smokes
this invisible wall um you hit the squirrel into
the wall too it squeaks still alive um the turkey
is also hitting the wall the turkey is also hitting
the wall All right, guys, we just have to eat
real well tonight because none of this worked.
Can we set the little animals free that we didn't
kill? Oh. I set mine free. Okay. Far away from
Russer. All right. And you guys camp outside
this cemetery? Yes, I'm going to start building
a fire, making food, all that good stuff. All
right. You guys eat well, and the night is silent.
Figures Jeff doesn't want to mess around tonight.
Just going to stare at that cemetery all night.
Well, until I go to bed. It shines in the moonlight,
but not much else. That's exactly what I expected.
Can I read it and do a wisdom check? Because
just because I'm stupid doesn't mean my character
might be. Sure. It's a 16? The more you look
at it, the more you're led to believe that Russer.
is correct in his interpretation that it probably
does need to be a humanoid or a human that you
bring through here. Well, I don't know where
to find a human right now without going all the
way back. Unless one of us does want to get really
injured. I mean, I got a healing potion. Maybe
that's part of the magic is that once you go
through, you're feeling better. That's something
I would believe. Not super bright guy over here.
Yeah, I don't know about that one, Shrek. Well,
you know, that hermit was pretty smart. We could
go back there and ask his advice and bring him
and his niece along. If it only took two months
for him to figure out how to do this with an
artifact, it can't be that hard. Two years, not
two months. Sorry, two years. Still. Do you know
how hard it was for him to find big print books
so he could read them? That took a year and a
half alone. I don't know. Do we just hurt ourselves
and try to walk through that way? I don't really
want to walk back is my problem. I understand.
Who's feeling the worst? I have 12 HP. I have
13. I have 12. Okay. And you're the shortest,
so you're the easiest hit in the head. What if
you swallow the key? That might just poison you.
That's not what I had in mind. We'll need to
use the key sooner than that, though. We should
have brought a wooden thermos full of the water
from that lake. Oh, genius. I'm just trying to
judge how dead I need to be to walk through this,
or to be dragged through this gate. But the thing
is, there's no dragging if we can't get through
alive. Oh, but if we're with one. Do we each
need to be with? I mean, we are holding on to
each of his hands, dragging him. Okay. We're
sharing him. Mm -hmm. Too bad there's no funerals
going on today. Stab, stab, stab. Oh, my God.
That's actually what I was going to do. I was
going to pull out a knife and stab myself in
the chest with it. I don't actually stab anybody.
All right. I'll let you do as much damage as
you want with your dagger. I mean, I'm trying
to... Doing one fail swoop and get the heart
and fucking either or, you know, above it to
make it short if this isn't going to be reversible.
So you go to stab yourself in the heart. I just
want to make sure I'm understanding. I mean,
as the DM, do we have any other option besides
trekking back and... I mean, that's... Or kidnapping
somebody that I feel like the lawful goods are
not going to go with. It's really up to you guys.
I don't know if you should stab yourself in the
heart. Like, you know, you can be bleeding out
and have a little bit of time. I could knock
you out. I could knock you out first. I know
you're worried about the pain. No, I am going
to inflict a mortal wound on myself somewhere
in the torso. He slices his belly open. Shows
you. Okay. Out of your 12 HP, how much do you
take? How much is it going to take? That's yet
to be determined, my friend. Well, we're going
to go down in .1s of HP points. You let me know
when we hit. If I can just roll for it. That
says three. We'll start with three, I guess.
You're down to three? Or you take three? I take
three. Okay. I'm guessing that doesn't do it.
It does not. Take another three. Okay. You are
still kept out of this? Take another three. You're
feeling really pretty weak. Yeah, I'm down to
three. Yeah, stabbing yourself in. And at this
point, you hear the cemetery calling to you,
but you can't pass through yet. Go down to one.
Same effect. You take care of that dipshit. And
I twist it one last time. And that's where we're
going to end this episode. All right. And we'll
jump right back into it next time. But until
then, we will see you next next Tuesday. That's
it for today's episode. We hope you've enjoyed
listening as much as we've enjoyed playing. If
you have, go run and tell all your friends so
that we can turn as many people into CritCats
as possible. Tales from the Crit is a Wolfbeard
Games audio podcast. And if you like us, please
subscribe and leave a review wherever you get
your podcasts and head on over to our Instagram
page and our YouTube channel. Both of those are
at Tales from the Crit Podcast. All right. Bye
-bye. His name was Jeff. I'm 63, yeah. I wasn't
listening. What happened? You just told them
that the acid water was already hot, so it's
good to make tea with. Rustar's going to wake
up as soon as the birds start chirping in the
morning. That's a very hot bird. And knocks you
into the shit. It knocks us into the shit. Puskers
has been out there. I know. Honk, shoo, and away
the entire time we've been playing. There's a
tiny spider on my paper.