Welcome to Tales from the Crit Season 3. Bigger,
badder, and stickier. By joining us today, you
have been officially upgraded to Crit Cat status.
So, welcome to the club. Tales from the Crit
is an actual play podcast where we focus on smaller
story arcs from some of your favorite RPGs, as
well as some of the less known or obscure ones.
We also play some highly narrative tabletop board
games and also some micro RPGs. All of those
feature a revolving cast of players, so you're
going to see a lot of variety there. And as always,
I am your host and your Crit Keeper, Riley Groves.
We're so glad to have you here with us today.
Now let's get into the episode. Content warnings
can be found in the description. Welcome to Tales
from the Crit. I'm super excited to be here.
I've got some really, really great friends. I've
got a room of friends, actually, because I have
a bunch of people here, like I just said. At
the table, I have Connor. Hello, hello. Renee.
Hi. And Derek. Hello. You guys might remember
Renee from last year's Murder Mystery episode.
We're so glad to have you back. It's been a bit.
What have you done in between then and now? Nothing.
Awesome. All right. And returning to the couch
for like the first time in like three seasons,
we have two girls on the couch. We have Rebecca.
Hello. And Smriti. Hello. We're so glad to have
everybody here. We're going to play a game called
War with the Evil Power Master today. It's a
choose your own adventure game. But before we
jump into that, we're going to answer a question
from our pod deck interview deck. This one's
from the WTF deck. And the question is. What's
the grossest thing you've ever seen someone do
in public? I'll go first because it came to mind
immediately. So I was in Antigua last year and
we were driving on a tour and we look over and
there was just a woman shitting right on the
sidewalk staring right at us. She had the audacity
to ask what I was looking at. That is pretty
gross. Yeah, it was not great. It seems kind
of tame in comparison, but I definitely watched
someone take multiple pieces of dried up gum
from the underside of the counter, and I thought
they were going to just throw them out, and they
were just having a nervous thing, just picking
at stuff. But no, they just kept putting it in
their mouth. That is so much grosser than someone
shitting on the sidewalk. Mine also has to do
with consumption. Someone eating their boogers
and totally enjoying it. Okay. Which is like...
really gross when you see their facial expressions.
I mean, it's gross to begin with, but to be able
to visualize them enjoying it is super fucked
up. Derek, go ahead and top us off. I'm trying
to stay out of the realm of that, so I'm going
to go with a couple years ago when Renee and
I went to a Renaissance thing. We saw somebody
get hit in the bridge of the nose and break.
their nose and have blood coming out. Gross in
a different aspect. But, yeah, basically get
good whacked inside. I don't remember this. But
I don't remember a lot of things. I mean, that
is true. We've played a lot of board games together,
and we were playing Robin Hood this one time,
and I went up to Renee at a party. I was like,
hey, how do you like Robin Hood? And she goes,
what the fuck are you talking about? I don't
know. Alright, that's all super gross. So let's
stop talking about that. And let's start talking
about how we're going to beat the evil Power
Master. This game. With sticks. Maybe. We'll
see. This game is by Z -Man Games. You can find
more about them at info at zmangames .com. They
have a lot of cool games out. They have a lot
of these choose your own adventure games. So
this is another narrative board game. This is
probably our last one we're going to play for
a while. in this season anyways we're going to
move back to some rpgs after this but we've been
having a lot of fun with the last of us and then
hildegard and um now this one so you guys ready
to start yeah let's do it okay let me read the
instructions unfold the game board done okay
place one tracking cube on the zero space of
the epm meter and the other space uh okay Derek's
got those. All right. Next step. After we just
cruise through one through six, we're all going
to take a character. So I'm going to pass around
the character cards. You guys choose whoever
you want. Each character has some special attributes
that are going to help us or hinder us actually
on our roles. This is a cooperative game. So
we're all working together. I wonder if it would
make a difference if you picked characters for
other people. You know, I like to give. players
autonomy on that one because when it comes down
to it i don't care who i am at all and i feel
like if i was to choose first and assign things
it would seem unfair like i was i was picking
the coolest character for myself every time and
i don't want to be that guy that's like i picked
his character and he had to pick my character
oh you want everybody to pick each other's just
floating a different idea okay you know what
new blood bringing in some new ideas i like it
all right Let's see who everybody took. Derek,
why don't we start with you? Who is your character?
Read us a little bit about them. Tell us what
their name is and read us their bio. All right,
I am playing Dante. He is a piloting droid. Terrorist
companion, one very human -like eye, which is
kind of freaky. One very human -like eyebrow,
which is also kind of freaky. Head pops open
often to reveal 12 articulated appendages, which
do work busily, then disappear back inside of
him as quickly as they appear. His strengths
are he's an excellent pilot, sunny attitude,
and can imitate voices. He is also an adequate
DJ. Weaknesses, poor depth perception. gives
painful hugs bad dancer can't even do the robot
and uh he beeps at the worst moments awesome
okay sounds fun renee hi i am commander chen
all right what's up commander 22 pretty young
but um i have a lot of responsibility i am from
lacos Not sure if I'm saying that correctly.
I am a unit commander of the Laconian System
Rapid Force. I've never been to Earth, but I
have represented Lakos in a Laconian System kickboxing
championship. So it sounds like I am very physical.
I'm very quick to be angry. I rush into things,
but don't let me near bugs or germs. They really
freak me out. Okay. strange things all right
connor who are you playing uh so my character's
name is flipto and i am a 30 martian and my occupation
is a pilot computer analyst bon vivant i'm not
sure that i know what that means my bio is that
uh i'm the colleague and teammate of chen rye
rock a pair of shorts like no one's business
two toes on each foot and three fingers on each
hand When not reading the collected works of
Earth's Oscar Wilde, I'm often found perusing
cookbooks from exotic planets. My strengths are
highly intelligent and analytical, good with
machines and electronics, and the reason I picked
this card, cool vest. All right. Weaknesses are
dispassionate, prone to pontificate, addicted
to candy and baked goods. Other things that tipped
me towards Fliptoe. Addictions to candy is a
common theme in Tales from the Crit Games. All
right, and I'm going to round up the group. I
am playing Terra. I am 35 years old. I was born
on Earth, but I am now a Lacoonian Congresswoman.
I'm a decorated veteran of the Purple Days War.
I have much wisdom, much experience, and no nonsense.
Always effective, always in control, always there
to slap you out of it, whatever it may be. And
I'm usually right. My strengths are I'm diplomatic,
proactive, come under pressure, and I have some
awesome whoops and hollers. My weaknesses are
that I am irritatingly competent, secretly smug,
I give overly strong handshakes, and I never
have time for this. Who does? Who does? So if
you guys can tell, this is a sci -fi game, but
it is also very humorous and comedic. I'm pretty
excited now to continue on with the rules. So
your cards, you have an active side and an inactive
side. So pretty much every time we have to do
something, you know, after you take your turn,
switch to the inactive side, everybody has to
go before somebody can go twice. Everybody goes
before someone. Yes. Perfect. Shuffle the nine
starter item cards and place one face up next
to each character card. Derek, you've got those.
So please shuffle some of those out. and go ahead
and put the rest right back in the box is fine.
Early in the game, we will be directed to go
to a planet. When this happens, place the ship
mover on that planet and then take the 13 story
cards for that planet, and then I will read them.
Start the game by taking the three Lacunae and
Congress story cards and pick a player to read
the first card. So, Connor, I think all of those
are in front of you if you want to hand me one
of those cards. Ready to get into it? Team? Yes.
All right. At the Lacoonian Congress. The evil
power master is back, shouts Commander Chen to
his green -skinned Martian friend Flipto, and
he's still doing his evil thing. Chen hands Flipto
a message that just came into Rapid Force Command
from a remote sector of the vast Lacoonian system.
The news is grim. Sudden total destruction of
planet Marzina, sector 314789. Evil power master
claims responsibility. Have a nice day. how can
i have a nice day after that doesn't sound good
flipto crumples the paper message in his three
-fingered fist his usual martian self -control
replaced by anger did you expect anything else
commander he demands we both knew he would be
back doing his evil thing i hoped we had destroyed
him in the purple day's war chen says so many
lives lost so much carnage so much purple the
rapid force officers sit in silence remembering
how the evil power master rallied his renegade
planets that were denied entrance into the Lacoonian
system alliance and led them in a rebellion.
His powers must be strong again, Chen says, breaking
the silence, or he never would have attacked.
You are primary unit commander, says Flipto.
What are your orders? Call all unit commanders
to meet with the Lacoonian Congress, Chen says.
We must plan for our defense and maybe mount
an attack. Chen and Flipto lead the other unit
commanders into the Lacoonian Congress. Countless
voices fill the great hall. Speaking hundreds
of languages, the dread in their eyes is clear.
Every conversation is about the evil power master
doing a new evil thing. Chen meets with Tara
and the congressional spokesperson. Tara is respected
for her firmness and wisdom in Congress and for
being a fierce veteran of the Purple Days War.
I knew that evil drip wouldn't stay quiet for
long, Tara says. Before Chen can reply, the Great
Hall is silenced by a booming metallic voice.
It is the voice of the evil Power Master. Give
up, you fools! Your time has come! Marzina is
just a taste of my power. Give me total control
of the system, or more planets will perish, including
Hegemong, Arauth, and Earth. You have three days
to comply. The Hall erupts in chaos, with...
Representatives from across the Laconian system
all rushing to contact their homeworlds. Rapid
Force is on their own now. Terra is smiling,
however. Come with me, she says. This may be
our break. Chen is confused, but he trusts Terra.
She saved his butt more than once during the
war, and he'd like to continue to keep his butt
intact. Terra takes Chen Flipto to a computer
room where her one -eyed, one -eyebrowed droid
Dante sits in front of a console. We got him
now, Dante cries. The evil power master's message
led us right to him. Almost. Terra's smile fades.
Almost. He bounced the message through nine planets,
says Dante, including a base here in Lakos. He
must be on one of those nine. We'll have to explore
the planets to find him. Beep. Uh, Flipto looks
at the readouts. Oh my. The signal is too weak
to pinpoint his location, he says, grabbing the
last Sinistar bagel from the table. Then it will
be like looking for evil needle among nine haystacks,
Chen says, his stomach growling. Or a bacterium
burrowing among nine gigantic Sinistar bagels.
Flipto shoots Chen a side -eye. You're not going
to get one bite out of this bagel, he hisses.
No time for bagels, snaps Tara. We need to boost
that signal. Flipto's forehead wrinkles. If we
visit planets where the evil power master has
been, we can collect more transmission data,
he says. I can use the data to design an algorithm
to boost the signal. Then we'll find him, says
Tara. Flipto and I will head out on the fizzlet,
says Chen. Dante and I are coming too, says Tara.
Damn right. Four heads are better than two. And
18 arms are better than four, says Dante. As
he opens his head. And this bagel is gone, says
Flipto, polishing off the last bite. All right.
So from here, we're going to determine our starting
planet by rolling the die two times. Derek, why
don't you go ahead and roll the die? All right.
That's a five. That's a five. Okay. And a three.
Go for it. All right. So, Connor, the game board
is in front of you. All right. So if you were
to look at the board like it was three quadrants
across. Yep. All right. We're going to go to
the one furthest to the right. Okay. And then
you're going to go to... The one in the middle,
if you were to look at it like three quadrants
up and down. So the right middle one? Yep, yep.
That's the Void of Nero. Oh, cool. That sounds
kind of terrifying. It does. So we placed the
ship on the Void of Nero. I chose this purple
piece as the only piece over here to be the ship.
I believe that is the ship piece, ship shape.
The shape of the ship. All right. From here,
I'm going to make an executive decision. Let's
see what our starter items are. Okay, that sounds
good. I have the Silicon Crystal Cube. And what
does that do? It's a premonition device from
the glass planet of Silica, 1 ,000 times more
accurate than a crystal ball from Earth. Discard
this card at any time to reveal one face -down
signal booster dice. Okay. Rene, what you got?
I mean, Commander? I have food. Okay. Candy -coated
Kroner beans. Yeah, that sounds good. It's a
bag of caffeinated chocolates, so yeah, you probably
like these. Discard this card during a challenge
to re -roll any dice during that challenge. Okay.
It's a re -roll card. Nice. That's awesome. Flipped.
I have the Void of Nero Shelter Belt. No shit.
Yep. All right. Personal force field from the
Purple Day's War. Discard this card before a
challenge to automatically win the challenge
without rolling. Fuck yeah, that will be handy.
And I have the Proxima Centauri Pain Reducer.
We can mitigate the pain by swallowing the contents
of this bottle. Discard this card during a challenge
to reduce the challenge level by one. So that's
handy. Let's start out on the Void of Nero. Do
you prefer Flippy or Fliptoe? I prefer Fliptoe.
Okay, my bad. That looks like a frog from Star
Fox. Reports of a strange energy beam lead the
crew to the space frigate Menton, patrolling
the edge of the void of Nero. Flipto convinces
Commander Chen to use the teletransporter to
board the Menton, even though the commander has
always hated being dematerialized. Sure enough,
when he rematerializes on the Menton, The process
proves less than perfect. Chen jiggles his foot
a few times until all the pieces of his leg fall
into place. The commander of the Menten, Sartan,
appears. Need some help with that? She asks,
a wry smile on her face. Chen avoids eye contact
while Terra chuckles quietly. We have much to
discuss, Sartan says, then strides to a large
view screen that reveals the Void of Nero, an
immense area of dark energy. She taps a few buttons.
The void enlarges to fill the screen. And a planet
comes into view. Yesterday, that beam of unknown
energy appeared on this planet, she says. But
that's... Terra starts, stunned. Yes, says Flipto.
It's purple. The planet we saved from the evil
Power Master during the Purple Days War. The
thought of purple raises old demons. Chen focuses
on the task at hand. Where's the beam heading,
he asks. Impossible to tell, says Dante. After
analyzing Sartan's data, no known planet lives
in its path. We need a void ship, says Terra.
There, I can help, says Sartan. She leads the
crew to a small spacecraft shaped like an arrowhead,
a void ship, built to push through dark energy.
Chen looks at Flipto and smiles. Perfect, just
like the one we flew in the Purple Day's War,
he says. Flipto raises an eyebrow. I don't recall
those days being perfect, he says. A sleek droid
is fueling the ship. You can take the droid,
says Sartan. It's an excellent void pilot. Dante
clatters over to the droid and asks, What is
your make and model? I am a Protar 331, it says.
I am a pilot, astrogator, and companion. We'll
stick with Dante, Chen says. Sartan says, But
Protor is clearly superior to your rudimentary
droid. We'll stick with Dante, says Dante. cheerfully
interrupting her in a perfect imitation of Chen's
voice. Flipto looks at the void ship. Should
we follow the beam to its origin, he asks, or
to its destination? If you go to the origin of
the beam, go to the void of Nero's story card
2. If you go to the beam's destination, go to
the void of Nero's story card 10. What do we
want to do? Do we need to get ahead of this thing?
Let's go. Let's just go and find out where it's
going. Yeah, where do you want to go, Commander?
You want to go find out where it's headed? Who
cares where it's coming from? We know where it's
coming from, down there. Yeah. It's pointing
to something. Dante? I think we should go to
the beam's destination. I also think the beam's
destination. To the destination. All right, so
the destination is card 10? Okay. Dante activates
the ship's dark energy shield. Terra and Flipto
feel a familiar tingle. I don't miss that, Terra
says. I find it most enjoyable, says Flipto as
he settles into his seat. The white beam pushes
through. The Misma of the Void. As the ship approaches,
the beam fills the screen. It's enormous, Chen
shouts. What in the seven moons of Gobo is that?
In answer, twelve delta wings appear as if they
had flown out of a long tunnel. The group breaks
into three squadrons and attacks a hexagonal
space station. No record of that station, says
Dante. They need our help, Terra cries. Four
delta wings turn towards the void ship. Energy
weapons don't function in the void, so Chen and
Flipto fire round rockets at the ships from pneumatic
tubes. Required challenge. Battle the attack
fleet. Oh, shit. I thought they were going to
say 12 ships were coming at us, and I was like,
yeah, we're doomed already. Yeah, that's what
I thought was going to happen, too. Only four
ships coming at us. Only four ships. All right,
so how do we take them on? Does it say on that
card, or do I need to read more rules? I think
we need to read more rules, because it just says...
well there's like a symbol and it says required
challenge battle the attack fleet and it says
win raise the tracker by two and draw a card
does it have a challenge level looks like piloting
oh oh okay so our challenge rating is actually
determined on the board so you'll see it along
the green side oh yeah challenge level equals
four yeah i mean we're at zero that's we're at
zero so that would be a four for a challenge
level okay so yes this is a piloting challenge
so This would be rolling with your piloting skill.
We all have different skills on our trackers.
They are piloting, diplomacy, dexterity, perception,
and strength. I think each of us have a plus
one to two of those things and a negative one
to two of those things. And then just completely
missing one of them. So question, who has the
best piloting or who has a bonus in piloting?
I have a plus one to piloting. I think I also
have a plus one to piloting. All right. I am
not so great at piloting. Not so great at piloting.
I am bad at piloting, actually. So not good.
Dante, why don't you take the first roll? See
if you can get us that four. All right. So it's
whatever I roll. Plus your piloting skill. All
right. A three or higher will do it. A one. I
got a one. Does not do it. Or two. Is it too
late to go back and get Protor? That's not nice.
I got a five. Plus one. Six. Awesome. So you
got us past that. All right. So both of you are
going to stay inactive now, though. So Renee
and I are the only ones that are going to be
active. Okay. So I flip my card over. Correct.
All right. So go ahead and raise the signal tracker
by two. And Dante, will you draw data card number
13? Yes, I will. The first salvos hit their marks
and tear through two enemy ships, which explode
into small balls of flame. What's left of the
energy contained in the dark energy shields.
The other two ships take evasive actions. Required
challenge, destroy the last two enemy ships.
And it looks like it's whatever the whirly bit
is. Okay. I have a plus one in the squiggly thing.
The squiggly thing is dexterity. So are we still
at a four for a challenge rating? Yes, we are.
All right. Commander Chen. Roll the die. Give
us a three or higher. Nope. Oh, man. I got a
one. Okay. Not good. I'm going to give that bad
boy a shot. And that's a three. I have a plus
one in dexterity, too. So we did, in fact, destroy
the last two ships. Yeah. So that we would all
be inactive at this point. So we can go ahead
and be back to the active side. Go ahead and
raise the signal tracker by one. And Dante, would
you grab data number 14? The next volley of stone
projectiles flies true and tears through the
remaining two ships just as balls of light begin
to form on their forward turrets. As the ships
explode, Terra lets out a loud whoop. Flipto
shakes his head. The remaining delta wings have
scattered. An energy beam arcs out of the space
station and obliterates all of them with incredible
destructive force. Could this be the evil power
master's base? We are being hailed, says Dante.
Do we just go on to the next card, I think, maybe?
Sorry, draw data 16. Oh, Dante over here not
reading the whole card. He's getting caught off.
He's like, why am I talking in the third person?
A voice resonates throughout the cabin. Rapid
force ships, this is droid base one. Do you read?
Chen, Terra, and Flipto all recognize the voice
and smile at... The other, Dante whirs with excitement.
Rapid force void ship, do you read? You are cleared
to land. Repeat, you are cleared to land. Go
to void of Nero story card seven. Inside droid
base one, the crew finds an old friend from the
Purple Days War. Rendoxal, Chen yells. We thought
you were dead. Just as you thought the evil power
master was dead, replies Rendoxal. In fact, we
both survived the war. But how, Terra asks. Follow
it and all will become clear, says Rendoxal.
He turns and floats away. Rendoxal, the droid,
hero of Lakos, auto -destructed to destroy the
evil power master on the final days of the war,
or so everyone in the system believed. As Rendoxal
shows off his droid -operated base, he explains
that he teleported the evil power master deep
into the void and subdued the evil one before
his body reformed. I built this base to be his
prison, says Rendoxal. You are my hero, gushes
Dante, flipped to ignore as the starstruck droid.
What happened, he asks. How did the evil power
master escape? I underestimated his evil and
his power, says Rendoxal. Rendoxal comes to a
stop by a glass cell. I probed his mind and extracted
his secrets, he says, which helped me build this
base and its defenses, but the evil one had secrets
buried too deep, even for my probes. Hmm. How
deep are those probes? Go to void of Nero story
card nine. Rendoxal stops in front of the shattered
cell. Metal debris and glass shards covered the
floor. I manipulated the dark energy shield surrounding
the base to exclude his cell, explains Rendoxal.
I assumed that would prevent him from escaping.
Chen deduces the rest. He searched for spaces
where the shield was weak and exploited them.
Exactly, says Rendoxal. His mechanical voice.
tinged with regret. It took him years, but his
evil is persistent. That evil goon, says Terra,
making a fist. Once out, says Rendoxal, he found
my void -capable teletransporter and disappeared.
What is that in the corner, Dante asks, pointing
several arms at a small object barely visible
beneath the shards of glass and twisted metal.
Operational challenge. Retrieve the object. Win.
Draw data. Number 28. Lose. Raise the EPM. Alright,
what do we got to roll? Dexterity? Dex is the
spirally, circly one? Yeah. All right. Who's
got plus ones? I know I do, and Commander Chen,
you got one? Okay. Chen, roll a three. No more
ones. Four plus one. All right. So draw data
28. A black marble. This appears to be nothing
more than part of a children's game played on
a roof. Oddly, the marble does not reflect light.
In fact, it seems to darken the air around it.
Maybe it's not a toy after all. Keep this challenge
booster. Finish void of Nero's story card nine.
And then it has like an eyeball with a plus two.
Oh, cool. So you can use that in the future to
roll on a plus two to a perception challenge.
Oh, okay. One thing to note about challenge booster
cards, if you roll a one when you use them, you
have to declare using it first. If you roll a
one, you have to discard it after that. You have
destroyed the object. I'll try to remember that.
I'll try to remind you. Chen turns to Rendoxol.
What happened next, he asks. The evil power master
returned to Purple, he says. That is where the
beam originated. We are about to launch a massive
counterattack. Would you like to join? Terra
whispers to Chen. Such an attack could kill many
Purpleians. We should go there and stop him ourselves.
If you join Rendoxol, go to Void of Nero Card
Story 4. If you and the crew travel to Purple,
go to Void of Nero, story card 11. Hmm. Or what?
We go with Rendoxal to just try to obliterate
him? Blast everybody, or we try and go down to
the planet of Purple. I feel like Taro would
want to go down herself, as she already declared
that in the card. So that's where my vote's going.
Dante would probably also want to go down, being
diplomatic and usually a positive. All right.
Commander, you flipped. Flipper? I agree because
I'd like to have some face -to -face contact.
This flight battle was not really my thing. Okay.
All right, so it sounds like we're going to story
card 11. Let's do it. Maybe we'll find the evil
power master right now, and we'll ask him to
stop. Although I'm inactive, so I don't know
what I'm going to do. Can you please quit it?
Hey, man, knock it off. The ship lands on Purple.
A sound like thunder echoes in the air outside
the ship. Dante spins in a quick circle as creatures
run headlong toward the crew from all directions.
The crew is soon surrounded by Purplians, carrying
clubs, spears, and axes, their massive skin barely...
Their mauve skin, barely visible against the
violet sky. Purplians are short. None stand taller
than four feet. Their hairless bodies look like
they've been chiseled from lavender stone. It's
all coming back to me, Terra says. Yes, says
a voice the crew remembers. How sad you would
fall into my trap so easily a second time. Yeah,
good job, guys. The mob parts and the evil power
master steps through. Would you fight the perp
aliens again, says the evil power master. Submit
and I may spare your lives and theirs. I mean,
we're not going to do that, right? It's a fight
on the other side. If you decide to fight, go
to void story six. If you surrender, go to eight.
Oh, wow. You got to fight for your right. Yeah,
I mean, we got to fight. We came here to fight.
What's the picture? Yeah, what's the challenge?
Oh, there's no challenge. It's just fight or
not. Oh. Yes, fight or be captured. Yeah, we
definitely fight. Yeah, I mean, he comes at me
like that. I'm fighting him. All right. Let's
fight. Let's fight. Okay, so that's going to
card six. It's taking me all over the place.
This is a mistake, by the way. I can only guarantee.
Hey, we can, you know, get out of a challenge.
We got some re -rolls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're
good. We're good. We're not far from the ship,
whispers Flipto as Chen and Terra decide whether
to fight or submit. They both know if the crew
escapes, the propelions will be punished. If
there's a chance to end this here and now, they
must take it. They nod at each other. We know
you too well, evil power master, Terra says.
If we surrender, you'll kill us or make us suffer
forever. Chen whips out his blaster and aims
at the evil one. This ends now! He screams and
pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. Did you forget
where you are, says the evil one with a chuckle.
Energy weapons do not work in the void of Nero
unless you're inside a dark energy shield, which
you are not. With a last laugh, the evil power
master slips through the throng of purple aliens
as they advance on the crew. If any active or
inactive character has data 3 or data 36, skip
challenge below and draw data 26. We don't have
that probably, huh? No. I do not. Yeah, we only
have one of those. All right. So required challenge.
Fight to reach the ship. It's a strength, a dumbbell.
I can only imagine that strength. Win, draw 24.
Lose, draw 62. So I can auto -win us with my
thing here, which says discard this card before
a challenge to automatically win the challenge
without rolling. Or do you guys want to roll?
I don't have any strength. I do not have any
strength. I only have three fingers. I'm inactive,
so I can't fight. Oh, boy. I don't have any strength
either. All right. So it looks like... Do you
guys want to get beaten up? I mean... You have
a negative one to strike? Why are you trying
to roll? I'm just asking. Yes, I do have a negative
one. I have a neutral. I don't even have it on
there. Me either. I don't think this is the time
to fight. I say we use the card. All right. Make
it so. So we're going to use our... We don't
need this to be the, like, shortest episode of
Tales from the Crypt of All Times. We could always
play that fort building game again. That was
the shortest episode. It would have been. All
right. All right. So we're going to discard this
and automatically win the challenge. Win. Draw.
Data card number 24. All right. The propilions
may be armed, but they aren't rapid force trained.
In a matter of moments, the crew disables the
guards, boards the ship, and takes off from Purple.
After leaving the void, the crew alerts Sartan
about the evil Power Master's base on Purple,
but it's too late. He's already gone. The end.
Raise the EMP meter by two. Discard the... and
choose a new planet to explore. Okay, so I can
put this deck away and we gotta fly somewhere
else? I got nervous when you said the end. I
also was like, that's it? We lost him? And it's
done. It's like a shiny Pokemon, you only get
one chance. Oh, so Connor, there's nine disks.
Yep. Over there. Discard the disk. Discard the
disk? No, yes, that's what it said. It said,
discard the disk. Choose a new planet to explore.
Am I supposed to put one of these on each of
the planets? Yes. In any particular order? No,
those disks would allow us to increase our signal
tracker by that many if we successfully... Defeated
the planet. However, we done lost that planet.
How high up is our signal booster? What are our
two tracks at? So our signal booster track is
on the third little section, which means we're
still in challenge level four. Okay. That's good
for us. And our EPM meter is on the second little
box. Okay. So not like... A lot of progress made.
Does this mean that if we go between these planets,
we've got to add two to that? Correct. Every
segment between the planets is another two on
the EPM meter. That's the son of a gun. Yeah,
it would have been really helpful if we did actually
beat this planet. We tried. The ultimate goal
is to get to 25 on the signal booster before
it gets to 25 on the EPM meter. We did what everyone
does on their second play. We went to the big
boss man first. And realized why we're supposed
to play the game first. All right, y 'all, what
planet are we headed to? Only Connor knows what
any of them are called, so. So the planets that
are near us, one space away from the void of
Nero is Aroth, or Lakos, or Kronor. Kronor sounds
cool. I think Kronor is the way to go. Rockos
will put us in the very middle of the board,
but I feel like if we go to Kroner, that'll be
on the outside portion, and then we can swing
around the void and not have to go back through
it. How many signal boosters would we get from
going to Kroner? Sorry, what color disc is on
Kroner? Oh, I'm supposed to have the colors up,
not the number? Yeah. Okay, well, it's a, I don't
know, orange disc? All right, so we'll get somewhere
between six and eight signal boosts, possibly.
Yeah, I guess so. The technicolor swirl of interstellar
hyperlight travel is giving way to the void of
space when something hits the side of the ship,
lurching it portward. All four crew members fall
to the floor. Oh. That wasn't my fault, chirps
Dante as seven of his appendages shoot out, grasping
levers and knobs around Flipto, who's piloting
the ship. Flipto slaps Dante's arms off of the
steering wheel. I got it, you lowly bucket of
bolts, he huffs. Flipto mechanically turns various
knobs and flips several levers to get the fizzlet
back on the track. Or on track. We're not on
a track. Dante slowly reaches an arm out to turn
one knob Flipto doesn't see, and the ship rights
itself. Dante's single brow drops into a distant
glower toward Flipto. Flipto's two eyebrows respond
with equal glower. I think it's glower. Glower,
glower. Glower. I mean, it's glarings, but they...
They just glare. We must be under attack, says
Chen. He leaps forward and flips the alarm switch.
Sirens wail and lights bathe the bridge in red.
Ready the cannons! Terra stands up, dusting herself
off. Commander? Battle stations, barks Chen.
Commander, shouts Terra, firmly placing her hands
square on Chen's shoulders to hold him in place.
We hit an iceberg. The view screen shows the
image of a floating glacier. An agitated worker
in an orange spacesuit waves two glowing sticks
in the universal go -around gesture as he bobs
weightlessly and looks to a nearby mining vessel.
We must be near the ice mining operations on
the moon Atlin, says Flipto. I hear the snack
bar there are bland and suffer from limited selection.
So critical. Chen thinks, a perfect place for
the evil master to hide, he says. That guy hates
snacks. We didn't come here for snack time, says
Tara. She points at Cronar, a jade planet encircling
the white rings. The Empress's security force
In Reyna City is legendary. If anyone has a lead
on the evil power master, it'll be them. Rhea,
Flipto ponders out loud. Rhea. Yes, if my memory
serves, the snack bars there are exquisite. Regardless,
the planet is nothing but a sea of hydrogen.
One wrong move and we'll be lost for days. There
won't be any more days if we don't find the evil
one's base, Terra snaps. folding her arms and
gazing out at the stars. And Commander, turn
off those darn sirens. Okay. If you follow the
mining vessel to Atlan, go to Kronar, story card
12. If you head to Rhaena to find the Empress,
go to story card 3. So we're going either to
the mining vessel in Atlan or going to Rhea to
get the Empress. I think we should go to Rhea.
I'm thinking Empress. That's the hydrogen place,
right? It's all the hydrogen. With a really good
snack bar. Oh, yeah. With a good snack. Yeah.
I'm thinking, yeah. I don't know which one was
hired. I agree. My guy is mostly a diplomat,
so. So far, every choice we've made seems to
be wrong, so we should probably go to the other
place. Okay. Wait, do I get to decide? I don't
get to decide. I mean, we're all deciding. We're
working together. Where do you want to go? Did
you agree? Yeah. I mean, yeah. We all want to
go to the other place. Oh, okay. Yeah, what did
you want to do? I want to go to Rhea, the Empress.
That's the Empress? So it's unanimous. Okay.
Yeah, then we're going to go there. Cool. Is
it card three in this? Yeah. Yes. Okay. Cutting
through the clouds of Kronar, the ship skims
a hydrogen sea, pointed towards Rhea. Suddenly,
massive, fast -moving waves roll across the horizon,
the crest dotted with thorny aliens on long boards,
giant fly -trap surfers. Pull up, shouts Chen.
Inadvisable. Our escape thrusters will ignite
the hydrogen, says Flipto, weaving the ship in
a manner that sends everyone and everything flying.
It's literally all hands on deck as Dante lets
appendages fly to address the chaos, jacking
to take over the steering wheel from Flipto,
changing the radio to the Drovian Polka station,
and placing a coaster under Tara's drink. Required
challenge. We need to avoid the fly trap surfers.
Okay. So how do we win? What's the symbol look
like? The piloting one. It's a piloting one.
So does Dante or Flipdo want to roll first? Carter
said he was flying. All right. And we certainly
need a four, right? Yeah, we currently are still
on challenge level four. Tara's drink is a gin
and tonic, by the way. Seven. All right. So what
do we do if we win? We win. Data 0 .05. All right.
Sensor hack. This circuit rerouted through the
sensor hack. The autopilot will now randomly
select evasive maneuvers during the space battle
and offer winning Star Lotto ticket numbers.
Keep this challenge boost. Finish Condor Story
card three. Cool. So it is a plus one to piloting
challenge. Nice. The ship weaves among the riders,
who salute Dante with the hang loose gesture.
Eventually, the sea calms, a gnarly situation
avoided, with some truly tubular flying. Tubular.
A beep indicates the fizzlet is nearing Rhea,
and they dive beneath the ocean's surface. Rhea,
Kronar's capital city, is a shimmering bubble
suspended in the sea. As the crew disembarks,
a speckled frog -like official approaches. Her
name tag reads... Flippy. Ribatella. This is
a required challenge. You have to use diplomacy.
I do have a plus one to diplomacy. It's the handshaking.
Yeah, Dante and I got that for days. Dante, want
to go for it? Sure. Still need a four? Yes. All
right. I got a three. I'll give this the old
college try. I got a seven. There you go. Raise
signal tracker by two and continue below. All
right. Also, are we all inactive at the moment?
I think we are now, finally. Everybody switch
back over to an active spot. Wonderful. Okay,
we raised our signal. Yes, we did. All right,
continue on back. We must see the Empress at
once, says Chen, flashing his badge. Didn't know
I had a badge. She blinks, first horizontally,
then vertically, and taps her computed tablet
in silence for a minute. Dante's eyes narrow.
Tara impatiently shouts, This is a level one
emergency. Ribatella holds up one long, suction
-cupped finger and scans the screen. Chen throws
his hands up in exasperation. Finally, she looks
up. Sorry, my friend ordered moth wings, but
the delivery guy brought fly wings, and she's
allergic. Now, what's your problem? Chen clutches
his fists. Oh, right, the Empress. She's super
busy, because she's like the Empress. But you
can totally wait. You could also see the security
under secretary right now. His schedule is way
clearer. If you wait for an audience with the
Empress, we'll go to card seven. If you agree
to see the Undersecretary, we'll go to card four.
We're going to wait or talk to the next person.
I think the Undersecretary would be the best
one to talk to. Quicker is better. Yeah, we've
got to go talk to someone now. Part of me feels
like we're going to end up fighting this person,
though. We're here to get this person's help.
Or information. Yeah, we're here to get information.
And I imagine the Empress isn't going to have
any more information than the Undersecretary
due to the security. That's who we're actually
here for. Yeah, agreed. The offices are overrun
with hundreds of tadpoles and shrimp as it takes
your spawn to work day. Oh, it's take your spawn
to work day. Oh, that's grody. In the midst of
the chaos, an unattended information tablet blinks.
Dante cocks his eyebrow and glances at the crew.
Optional challenge to get that tablet. Do we
want to get the tablet that's flying? Yeah, what's
the symbol that's on it? I mean, I just want
to know. Dexterity. All right. I have a minus
one in dexterity. I've got a plus one in dexterity.
I also have a plus one. Do we want to steal this
tablet? Oh, yeah. We want that tablet. All right,
Commander. I got a three plus a one is a four.
We're still in challenge level four. Floor? Level
four. We're at the floor level. Okay. It's as
low as it goes. Raise your signal tracker by
one. All right. And draw data six. Bonus story
choice. The tablet lists recent visitors to Rhea.
Between the morning caviar delivery and the afternoon
caviar delivery is the unknown associate of the
evil Power Master, a lizard person who met with
the Undersecretary for Planet Security. Place
a new story choice below at the bottom of Kronar
story choice 4. This option may be considered
when you are ready to make the story choice.
Finish Kronar. So this adds a... choice when
we get to card four and have to we are on card
four okay so that gets added to the bottom when
we finish up all right uh ribatella directs the
crew into an empty elevator shaft and presses
a button the doors close a bubble forms around
the crew and liquid hydrogen pours in in their
bubble they rise up to the security office The
undersecretary has his scaled back to them. Tara
clears her throat. And the undersecretary barrels
toward the group. Looking for the evil power
master is my job. He's clearly got a chip on
his shoulder. Or whatever you call the place
where his leafy fin meets his leafy body. Tara
opens her mouth to respond, but he cuts her off.
My agents believe he's in the rings. If he was
on this planet, I'd have already caught him.
Now out of my face. With a leafy flourish, he
turns and stalks back to his desk. Some folks
really test a person, Tara mutters. Head to the
rings of Kronar, or if you don't trust the Undersecretary,
you can wait to see the Empress. I don't quite
trust him. I mean, it says on the tablet that
he met... With this person. Isn't that what the
information that we got? Yeah, that's why I say
we don't trust them and wait. I'm fine with waiting
to see the Empress. All right, let's wait for
the Empress. I do love her gin. Go to card seven.
Dropping onto woven kelp couches outside the
throne room, the crew waits and waits and waits.
Hours tick by. Dante and Flipto play I Spy, but
the solution to every round is kelp. Chen runs
out of credits to give flip dough for the vending
machine. Tara completes a crossword in a 40 -year
-old Star People magazine. Finally, the door
opens, revealing a lovely and leafy creature.
She ripples her fins and speaks. Her benevolence,
empress and aminos, she who travels the divine
current. We'll see you now. An immense throne
of living coral dotted the luminescent plankton
-dominated room. The empress floats above the
seat as her sinuous rainbow -colored tail undulates.
Uh, gentle currents to you, swimmers of the star
sea, she says in a melodious voice. Her eyes
turn lovingly toward Chen. I shall aid in your
quest to defeat the evil power master, he who
muddies pure water. Chen bows. Rapid force thanks
you, Empress. We believe he hides in the kelp
forest, the Empress says. Today, a weapon disrupted
the current in that area. We suggest you investigate.
The elevator opens and the crew returns to their
ship. To head to the kelp forest, go to card
eight. There's no other choices, though. To the
kelp forest. To the kelp forest. To the kelp
forest. The ship plunges into crystal clear sea.
Patches of colorful seaweed become a dense jungle
of kelp. They dive deeper, fronds rolling across
the viewscreen like an undersea car wash. Through
the waving strands, they spy a metallic structure,
but before they can pull closer, the ship lurches
to a halt. Dante slams a fist against the steering
wheel. For the love of Pete, what now? The three
bipeds of the crew pull on scuba gear and swim
out to go take a look, only to find the ship
cocooned in kelp. They begin ripping hunks of
it off of the ship. Suddenly, the kelp braids
together and ensnares Chen, Terra, and Flipto.
They don't have a chance to do anything, not
even to say something awesome like, I did not
seaweed that coming! Before they're under attack
by dozens of kelp tentacles. Required challenge.
Defeat the kelp colony. What's the symbol on
that? Can I remember what that is? Dexterity.
Dexterity. Oh, sweet. If you win, raise signal
tracker by one and draw data 007. If you lose,
raise the EPM meter by two and another active
character must try. All right. Is EPM bad? Yeah.
Okay. Right on. This one seems important and
hard. So I'm going to discard this Proxima Centauri
pain reducer I have and drop that challenge rating
down to three. Oh, there we go. Yeah, and having
a plus one, I'll roll this time. And I got a
seven, so that was unnecessary. All right, so
we won. Data 007. 007. Sonic ray gun. As the
crew flails at the clinging kelp, something floats
free. A skeletal hand wrapped around the grip
of a sonic ray gun, which is perfect for cutting
grass. On Silica, keep this challenge booster,
finish the story card. It is a plus one to Dex
for you. All right, I'll keep the ray gun. Are
you Silica? No. You would be. Yes, I am. Oh.
Having defeated the kelp with a little help and
barely a yelp, the crew reaches the place, that's
the base, for the evil disgrace out to destroy
space. The ship cruises through the planet's
rings, which glimmer like stained glass windows
at dusk. The crew lets out a collective, ooh.
Ooh. And Dante's eye flashes as he takes a photo.
Tara pulls her gaze from the view screen and
taps the console. Nothing unusual on the scanner
except... Proton puff crumbs left by Flipto.
Messy. Quiet as a Thorian funeral out there,
she declares. As if on cue, a green streak of
light rockets through the rings and slams into
the ship, sending Chen to the floor in a heap.
Careful, he shouts. Another flare, then an ear
-ringing explosion rocks the bridge. Flipto calls
out from the radar station. Someone is coming
from Kronar. Take evasive action. Required challenge.
Dodge these attacks. If you win, you raise the
signal tracker by two and draw data. If you lose,
go to a different Kronar story. All right. Well,
Dante and Flipdo, y 'all are the only ones that
are active. Piloting. I got a plus to piloting.
I got a plus to piloting. All right. Go for it.
All right. Still need to beat a four? Yes. Seven.
There you go. All right. What do we get to do
for a plus? We do raise the signal tracker by
two and draw a data card. That puts us in challenge
rating five now, right? Challenge rating five.
Achieve. Our data card four is a med kit. Med
kit falls out of the locker during the attack,
slides across the cabin, and smacks a crew member
right in the face. Discard this card at any time
to make another crew member active. Flipto's
got no items anymore. Let's share the love. He
has the belt, doesn't he? I use the belt. Oh,
I mean, I guess you did roll for it. You could
keep it. I didn't mean to steal it. No, no, no.
Give me the belt. You can keep that. Keep the
med kit. He's putting the belt in the pile because
he's the inventory manager. I couldn't see the
belt. Dante dodges the next shot, but the barrage
doesn't stop. The droid sends the ship bobbing
and rolling, which turns Flipto's green skin
a sickly blue. We can lose them down there in
the ocean, Chen yells. Go to story card eight.
I was already on eight before. So we're going
back into the ocean. The ship plunges into crystal
clear sea. Patches of colorful seaweed become
a dense jungle of kelp. We read this already,
didn't we? Yeah, we read this card already. It
told me to go there. Is this a different reason
why we're going underwater this time, right?
These are confusing cards. Let me see the last
three cards. Yeah, because it's just going to
send us in a loop, right? Right, okay. And Renee
just ruined the game. No, Renee did not ruin
the game. Just made a wrong choice and was like,
you gotta go back and do it again. That's why
you got the ray gun to keep cutting the kelp
every time we get back down there. Dante's like,
nope, we gotta do it again, just like we did
last time. Get out. Yeah, but then we just draw
data card 12 again. Isn't that weird? And then
what happens? What does data card 12 say? Mine's
data card 4. Who has data card 12? Data card
12 is right here. In the pile, right? Yep. We
haven't done this one yet. That's so weird. This
is data found. Once inside the empty base, Flipto
recovers a log from the wiped computer, revealing
that a ship launched mere minutes ago. Chen finds
a rhinestone belt buckle, which could only have
come from the evil Power Master. Turn over the
dice and raise the signal tracker the amount
shown. If any character has one or more of the
following data, raise the tracker an additional
amount shown. S .I. 002 or 079? I have SI2. Cool.
Raise it three for her. All right. So we just
advanced one card further than we should have.
So you shouldn't have went on to number nine,
which is all the fun with us getting shot in
the kelp stuff. We should have just went to data
card 12. So we'll just backtrack a little and
pretend we didn't get blasted by a bunch of torpedoes.
So what's the next card? We turn over the disc
as we have successfully completed this chapter.
Oh my goodness. We finished. We finished. So
go ahead. Flop over that planet disc there. How
many EPMs did we move up? That's six. And that's
signal booster. Yeah, signal booster, not the
EPM. Sorry. I think the EPM is just the evil
power master meter. That is probably right. That
is probably right. And then we'll choose a new
planet to go to. We're at 17 signal. We're getting
close. What are our EPMs at? Two? No. It should
have been at least four, because we did travel
between a planet before. You're right, four.
Cool beans. Adjacent to Kronar are the planets
of Silica and Aruth. Salisha? I've got a ray
gun that is perfect for cutting through glass
on Silica. Well, then let's go there. I have
a crystal cube from this planet. We've got a
lot of stuff from here. It's destiny then. If
we're on a new thing, do we all become active
again? Yeah, why don't we all become active?
Let's get dangerous. Do some stretches. Touch
your two toes. All right. Traveling to the planet
Silica, did you raise our EPM meter by two? I
did, yes. This time I remembered. All right.
So what is our official score is at? Seven and
17. All right. We're going to find this one.
Six and 17. Dante pilots the ship toward the
surface of Silica, a planet composed almost entirely
of glass. Before the Purple Days War, Silica
was a planet covered in deserts. The silicons
were peaceful sand farmers, supplying the Lacunian
system with refined silica for all manner of
electronic devices. In its first recorded attack,
apparently launched on a lark, a teenage evil
power master aimed heat missiles at Silica and
its moon. The resulting inferno transformed most
of the planet into glass and turned its moons
into prisms. It's almost painfully beautiful,
says Terra. As the ship flies over the crystal
forests and mirror lakes, light from the nearby
star refracts through the interior of the planet,
creating a kaleidoscope of color. It's gonna
get bright, folks, says Chen. Disco ball bright,
says Flipto. We're gonna need some serious shades,
chirps Dante. Free item? Draw data number 82.
Rad sunglasses. Standard issue Rapid Force sunglasses.
Optimized to make the wearer appear super rad
to anyone who sees them. Nice. This is a plus
one, two diplomacy. Should somebody that has
a plus one already in diplomacy take that to
make it a plus two? Or someone that has a neutral
or a negative? Can we just pass the items around
as needed? Or it doesn't say anything about declaring
it ahead of time? You do have to declare it ahead
of time before you roll, but you can pass items
around freely. So I guess it doesn't quite matter.
Good point. I'll put it here. The evil power
master's signal originated near a town called
Rainbow Alto, says Flipto. He provides Dante
with the coordinates, and soon the ship is zooming
across Silica Valley, the planet's largest remaining
desert. toward a quaint village of glass at the
edge of the dunes. Be careful, calls Chen as
the droid lands on a sheet of glass outside town.
The warning is a bit late. Several large cracks
spider out from the landing gear as the ship
settles into place. Tread lightly, you delightful
clodhoppers, says Dante as the crew leaves the
ship. Chen glares at the hovering droid. The
crew enters Rainbow Alto, a typical tourist town
of wide streets lined with shops. The shops being
made entirely of glass don't need signs because
tourists can see what's being sold inside at
a quick glance. Where do we start? Asks Tara.
Perhaps with those two suspicious looking people,
replies Flipto, pointing at a female glass Sicilian
and a male glass, no, silicon, not Sicilian,
and a male glass silicon whispering to each other
between two shops across the street. Don't point,
hisses Chen. At Flipto, that's just impolite.
But the two silicons already caught sight of
the rude Martian's finger, and the suspects run
off in different directions. If you follow the
glass silicon, go to story card eight. If you
follow the sand silicon, go to silica story card
five. Who doth we follow? Follow the glass guy.
You got a ray gun that'll just blast him in half.
Ooh, good point. We will head to story card number
eight. The crew chases the glass silicon around
a corner and into a shop filled with glass trinkets.
Commander Chen bursts through the door and lunges
at the suspect. She dodges behind a display of
crystal ukuleles causing Chen to miss her and
knock two ukuleles into the air. The shopkeeper
gasps. Dante, help! Tara yells, pointing at the
you break it, you buy it sign. Horrified. Silica
glassware is known throughout the system as the
finest and the most expensive in the galaxy.
Dante extends two arms and latches onto the fallen
glassware. Lacuz didn't give us the budget to
cover stuff like that, Terra says, fanning her
face. Flipto charges blindly past Terra to trap
the suspect. On the way, his gangly legs bump
another display, sending a glass banana monster
sculpture flying. Dante sends the third arm out
to catch it. The glass woman runs toward the
rear of the shop. Stop her, yells Chen. And don't
break anything, gosh darn it, yells Terra. Required
challenge. Dexterity. Don't break anything, gosh
darn it. Win. Raise the signal tracker by one.
Lose. One crew member must discard a challenge
booster to pay for the damage. If no one has
a challenge booster, raise EMP meter by two.
I could do it. I have a plus one, and then I
have one of those booster thingies if I lose.
Like, you don't have to take damage. You use
your booster thingy as a... Oh, yeah. But hopefully
that doesn't happen. Just a backup plan. All
right. Roll for it. Roll for it, Commander. You
have a die right in front of you. I don't like
that one. Okay. Such mischievous dies. Five.
Plus one is six. All right. So draw down to number
74, please. Dante, keeper of the data. Data card
74. crystal magnifying glass the suspect runs
out the door but at least nothing got broken
in gratitude the shopkeeper lets the crew keep
one of the items dante caught the droid chooses
a crystal magnifying glass which is useful used
as a weapon on silica is a challenge booster
card plus two to strength all right that's sick
because we're shit on strength there you go oh
i get it okay all right If we follow the suspect,
we will go to a different story card than we
would if we talked to the shopkeeper. Well, let's
talk to the shopkeeper, then. We're already here.
Yeah, you don't want to keep... Okay. Well, what's
everybody think? I was thinking about following
the suspect. Commander? I was going to talk to
the shopkeeper. Oh, my God. She did already give
us the magnifying glass. What else do we have
to talk to her about? I need the giant coin of
decision -making. Heads, we follow the suspect.
Tails, we talk to the shopkeeper. That's a tails.
We're going to stay and talk to the shopkeeper.
The glass silicon woman flees the shop and disappears
down an alley. Chen returns to the shopkeeper
and asks him if he recognizes the suspect. Of
course, friend, says the portly and balding glass
shopkeeper. I know everyone in town. He drums
glass fingers on the crystal cash register. And
I'm more than happy to help paying customers,
he says, his glass eyebrows raised. Tara gets
his meaning and begins looking for something
small to purchase. Do you have any drinking glasses,
she asks. The shopkeeper's glass smile turns
to a scowl, and his bluish face heats up to a
bright red. Get out, he roars. Tara apologizes
and asks why he is so upset. The shopkeeper points
to a cup -shaped organ half -filled with liquid
in his glass torso. This is my liver, he growls.
You fleshies abduct our people to harvest these
and then drink from them. It's barbaric. Ah,
says Flipto, the sinister drinking glass cabal.
I've read about them. They feed the galactic
drinking glass economy. Terra asks if they can
do anything to help, so he will provide the information.
Required challenge, calm the shopkeeper and get
the woman's address. Win, we raise the signal
tracker by two and go to silica card number 12.
All right. What symbol is it? Diplomacy. A handshake?
It is. I have negative handshakes. I have two
cards that give me a plus one. Them rad sunglasses.
That's a two. Well, that won't do it. Well, what's
our challenge meter at? We are now at challenge
level six. Oh, yeah, I did not. Dude, can I use
this one that says, discard this card during
a challenge to re -roll any dice? Yeah, sure
thing. Caffeine beans? Yep. Four plus three is
seven. There we go. So go ahead and raise the
signal tracker by one, and we'll continue on.
Address in hand, the crew heads off to find their
suspect. Outside, they found a constable named
Tiffany watching a glass building. Officer Tiffany
says the building is a suspected crystal crash
house. We have rapid force authority to enter,
says Chen. Care to join us? Tiffany nods and
draws a glass baton as the group marches across
the street and shatters the front door. You're
all under arrest, yells Tiffany. A half dozen
dozen glass silicons rub sand from their eyes
and advance on the rapid force crew and Tiffany.
Chen pulls his laser blaster from his laser holster
and fires a warning shot over their heads. The
beam bounces off the glass walls, crisscrossing
the room before flying out the open doorway.
Lasers are inadvisable, warns Dante, as the crystal
crashers rush forward. Chen flings his gun at
the glass silicon, who shatters into a million
little pieces. Huh, says Chen, surprised. This
might be easier than I thought. We have a strength
challenge that's a required challenge to defeat
the crystal crashers. Who's got some strength?
I would, but I'm flipped over. Oh, cool. I'm
neutral to strength, but we're at challenge level
six. I can give it a try. this says if you want
it oh yeah i can take that yeah pass that over
let's use dante as our last resort because he's
got a negative one yes not ideal not at all okay
so what is that card so we're using the crystal
magnifying glass which gives me plus two to my
strength roll i got a three plus two is five
all right cool that doesn't do it all right draw
data number 84. The fight escalates into a glass
-bashing, crystal -tossing battle. In the end,
the rapid -force crew sustains many injuries.
With no more leads, the dejected crew returns
to the fizzlet so Dante can apply gauze and distribute
lollipops. The end. Raise the EPM meter by three.
Discard the disc. Choose a new planet to explore.
Oh, god damn it. That was like 15 minutes, right?
Yeah, that was short. We did not do well. And
we had the blaster. It just did not help us.
It just didn't blast. Raise the EPM meter by
how many? Three. One, two, three. And it's going
to be another two when we go somewhere. Damn.
We didn't play that one very well. Is there a
planet that we are not going to get to? That
we're not going to be able to get to. That we're
not going to be able to get to do anything with.
So the only planets we can go to right now are
Lakos and Earth. And hopefully that will be the
last planet we need to go to. So that's Fallop,
Proxima Centauri, Heronog, and Aruth. I want
to use the silicon crystal cube. Discard this
card at any time to reveal one face -down signal
booster disc. I want to do that to a planet we're
not going to go to. So will that give us the
signal boost from it, or what does that do? I
think it just tells us how much points are worth.
Then never mind. And we need six points to find
the evil Power Master, right? Yes. Do we want
to use that cube to figure out which one of those...
Yeah, figure out which one's got the most points
behind it. Yeah. Of the two that we can reach.
I thought it was going to be one of the ones
that we weren't going to go to. That's not what
it does. I thought when we reveal it, it would
give us the disc. It doesn't. But we can use
this to see which one has the higher, or see
which one has... Well, Earth is a reddish -colored
one, and Lakos is a bluish -colored one. In my
mind, the red numbers would be higher. The red
numbers are higher. They're the highest. There's
also three balls in the center of those ones.
And only one in the blue ones. So should we go
to the red disk? To Earth? Is that Earth? Yeah.
Let's go to Earth. Let's go to Earth. Chen's
never been there. I've never been. This is so...
What a treat. I feel like I shouldn't have let
the coin decide. Everybody flip over to active
again, too. Heading to Earth. Earth Commander?
Flipto asks. Are you certain? Absolutely, Chen
says. He opens the equipment locker and pulls
out three vacuum -sealed Enviro -suits. The Martian
frowns. But no one has set foot on Earth for
years. Which makes it the perfect place for the
evil Power Master to hide, says Chen. Set a course,
Dante. Dante's mechanical arms punch in the coordinates.
The fizzlet rumbles. The stars outside spin and
twist in a spiraling swirl, a sight that always
makes Flipto think of frozen yogurt. But the
Martian isn't licking his lips this time. Terra,
Flipto says, your people abandoned this world
for a reason. All records of that were lost during
the Purple Days War, Terra retorts, stepping
into her Enviro -suit. Earth may have been the
evil Power Master's hideaway since those violent,
violet days. Flipto shakes his head, but dons
his own enviro -suit anyway. Within minutes,
the ship emerges into real space. A green and
blue globe spins below them. Dante executes a
perfect landing in a forest clearing. Scanners
indicate copious life signs and residual radiation.
The little robot says, be prepared for anything.
The four crew members exit the flitzit. into
a lush green forest with trees higher than the
skyscrapers on Lakos. For a moment, everyone
simply listens. No droning traffic, no static
from neon billboards, no rumble of passing starships.
Chen looks puzzled. I expected more, I don't
know, ruins. Pollution. Flipto frowns and checks
the chrono on his wrist. It appears nature has
reclaimed everything. Just then, the bushes before
them shake, and a man steps out. He is slouched
over with long hair and a heavy brow. He holds
a crude club in his hand and wears a leopard
-skin tunic. The man takes one look at the crew
and runs screaming back into the woods. After
a moment of stunned silence, Terra says, Was
that a caveman? Flipto frowns and checks his
chrono again. Perhaps there was a malfunction
with our hyperdrive, he says, and we somehow
time -shifted into Earth's distant past. Howdy!
comes a voice from behind them. Everyone turns
and sees that another man has emerged from the
other side of the clearing. This one rides a
horse and wears a plaid shirt. He tips his ten
-gallon hat to the crew and smiles. Y 'all looking
for something? No one knows what to say. Flipto
frowns and checks his chrono again. The cowboy
shrugs and spurs his horse, riding back into
the trees. This stinks of evil mastermind, Entera
says. Chen instinctively removes his helmet and
confirms that he can breathe in Earth's atmosphere.
If you follow the caveman, go to Earth Story
Card 2. If you follow the cowboy, go to Earth
Story Card 5. I mean, I'm for the cowboy. He
seemed more normal. Yeah, he seemed like he at
least greeted us and didn't run away terrified.
He knows English. That's true. We're trying to
get information. Yeah. So, Cowboy is five, right?
What about Commander and Dante? What do you guys
want to do? Cowboy's the smarter choice. Probably.
Of course I want to chase the caveman. I mean,
honestly, the caveman's probably the right choice.
We still haven't made one of those all day, so.
Cowboy it is. Dante leads the crew south along
the cowboy's most likely course. The trees start
to thin out after 20 minutes, and the sun beats
down as shade recedes. Chen begins to regret
wearing his heavy Rapid Force uniform. Reminds
me of a Martian winter, Flipto says. The path
leads you to a majestic cliff, when suddenly
three riders on black horses stampede into the
path, cutting you off. The lead rider pulls out
a wicked six -shooter. Stop right there, the
lead rider shouts through a bandana. Bandits,
Terra yells. Smart lady, the bandit says. Empty
out your pockets unless you're hankering for
a sudden case of lead poisoning. Flipto gives
Chen a look. They're not about to lose everything
they've found to some ill -mannered miscreants.
Required challenge. Out -shoot the bandits. Great.
It's a dexterity. Okay. A swirly one. Plus one.
I got dex for days. Hand me that dice. I got
a plus two. Five plus two is seven. All right,
that's a win. Draw data 134. Dinosaur egg. You
are quick on the draw and the bandits drop dead.
Out of one of the lead bandits coast rolls a
green and orange dinosaur egg. The size, shape,
and color of a really gross grapefruit. Keep
this card. Finish story card five. With the bandits
dead, the forest returns to silence. That was
some darn fine shooting comes a voice from behind.
It's the cowboy. Where are you folks from? Out
of town, Chen says. Way out, Dante adds. Seems
about right, the cowboy says with a nod. What
can I help you all with? Tara squints. Was this
man watching while the bandits attacked the crew?
If you ask the cowboy about the evil power master,
go to story card 11. If you don't trust the cowboy
and want to scale the cliff, go to story card
10. I don't really feel like climbing the cliff.
Yeah, I don't really want to climb the cliff
either. I would like to ask questions. All right,
so if we're going to ask, we're going to go to
card 11. I don't care what we do. I am now raising
a dinosaur. That is your burden. The cowboy nods
slowly as Chen explains Rapid Force's quest and
their desire to stop the evil power master's
evil plans. He doesn't seem to grasp every word
of it, but like a true cowboy, he understands
that evil men need to be brought to justice.
Bad eggs tend to come in batches, the cowboy
says, and I know a real bad egg around these
parts. Follow me. The cowboy leads the crew through
the forest and to a huge open plain filled with
grazing brachiosauruses. The lumbering beasts
scoop up leaves in their massive jaws, unaware
of the presence of intruders. The cowboy points
to a column of smoke beyond the herd. Over yonder
is the most wicked fella I know, he says. If
anyone on Earth has seen this evil power galoot,
it's him. He gestures at the gigantic dinosaurs
and their huge stomping feet. Best of luck getting
past those hombres. Great. Required challenge.
Dexterity. Navigate through the herd of brachiosaurus.
I'm plus one. Sounds like it's you. Let's do
it, Commander. We need a six still? Oh, yes.
Oh, shit. There we go. Plus one is seven. Win
draw data card 144. We're rolling good tonight,
by the way, for the most part, when it matters.
Short range hover module. I just remembered,
Dante announced, smacking his forehead. I recently
installed this. A panel on his undercarriage
slides open to reveal a hover module. The crew
steps on and floats past the herd. Keep this
challenge booster finish Earth Story Card 11.
All right. Plus two to piloting. With the herbivorous
beasts outsmarted, you make your way towards
the smoke. Go to Earth Story Card 7. The crew
works their way through the jungle and finds
the source of the smoke. The charred remains
of a covered wagon. A large pack of velociraptors
with laser guns grafted onto their foreheads.
Laser raptors! Pokes through the wreckage. They
know something, Chen says. Terra looks suspicious.
This bunch isn't just going to share info with
us. You got that right, the laser raptor in charge
says. What can you trade us for it? They can
talk, says Flipto. We've been looking all over
for a missing embryonic organism. In a calcium
-fortified case, the laser -enhanced reptile
says, if an active or inactive character has
data 134, skip challenge below and draw data
146. Come on, give up the egg, man. All right.
I have data 134, the egg. All right. The dinosaur
egg. Skip challenge and draw data 146. 146. I
don't want to fight laser raptors. No. But you
could ride dinosaur. Maybe. Or it would kill
me. We would probably die. Probably. I've read
my fair share of paleontological texts. Fuck.
Says Tara. They're talking about the egg we found
on the bandits earlier. She presents the egg
to the raptors. They... Accept it gratefully
and place it lovingly on the ground, surrounding
their precious one with dirt and leaves. Raise
the signal tracker by 2. Finish story card 7.
The raptors chirp and bob their heads, eager
to take the crew to their master. The crew follows
the raptors deeper into the woods. Go to earth
story card 12. I have a feeling we played this
one perfectly. It's going pretty good, I think.
We're doing good on Earth. Home field advantage,
baby. The prehistoric escorts lead the crew through
the forest and into the mountains beyond. The
going is rough, and as the elevation increases,
the organic members of the crew feel the effects
of the thinning air. In the late afternoon, everyone
starts up a steep, rocky trail. Snow begins to
fall. After an hour or so, a frost -covered samurai
steps in front of the crew, preventing them from
going forward. He rests his hand on the hilt
of his sword and shouts in Japanese. He says
we can't enter, Dante translates, unless we best
him in combat. No problem, Chen says, cracking
his knuckles. The samurai bows, then produces
a set of playing cards and folds out a small
table. Poor translation, my bad. Dante says,
we need to best him in a game of Go Fish. He
is very bored up here. Phew, panicked there for
a second. I'm going to fight a samurai. Required
challenge. Beat the samurai at Go Fish. My God,
we have to win. Oh, gosh. It's the little eye
in the triangle symbol. I have a plus in, but
check the samurai out. I don't have any eyes,
but I have an eye plus, too, if you end up doing
it. Oh, yeah. I'll take that. Yeah, you should
definitely take that. What's in his nose? That's
perception, by the way. No, it's... It's frost,
because it's cold. Oh, it's a... It's not sick.
Why are we passing this around? Did you just
want to... Connor wanted to show us the... Just
to observe the art. I'm still active, right?
I didn't roll already in this story. No, I think
only Chen and I did. All right, so I'm going
to roll my perception. You just need a three,
right? Oh, that's what I rolled, a three, yep.
But luckily I got this plus two black marble
and a plus one. So that's six. Awesome. Win,
raise signal tracker by two and continue. All
right. We're only two away now. The samurai grunts.
His go fish skills are very rusty. He stands
aside and permits everyone to pass. Go to Earth
story card eight. Chen, Terra, Flipto, and Dante
find themselves at a domed structure nestled
deep in the mountains. It is covered in satellite
dishes, radio antennas, and telescopes. The front
door is unguarded. Inside, the structure is much
bigger than it seemed from the outside. It is
entirely hollow, and every surface is covered
with screens. An old man sits in a padded velvet
chair in the middle of... The cavernous lair,
watching Zulu warriors play tennis with Viking
maidens on one screen and giggling Roman centurions
wrestle gorillas on another. The old man pets
something in his lap. The crew approaches, and
Chen speaks, his voice echoing, You must pick
up a lot of strange things on these screens.
All boring stuff, the old man says. I've seen
it a thousand times. Bah! Did you make all this,
Terra asks? Getting closer, she sees that the
man is petting a cat -like banana. A closer look
shows it's an actual banana with four legs, a
tail, and a mouth full of fangs. Most, not all,
the old man points at a screen. I didn't do that
one. The screen is fuzzy and unclear. Required
challenge, unscramble the image. It's a perception.
Dante, you're the last active member left. All
right, let me see. You need to roll a straight
six. I know, I don't have... I'm neutral in this
one. Can I give him the black marble or no? Because
we already used that this time. I mean, it doesn't
say that you can't. It says you may freely exchange
cards. We didn't break it, right? Yeah, no, it's
still good. All right. Well, here's... That's
a three. And it breaks this. It breaks because
it's a one. All right. So, lose. Raise EPM meter
by two. Another active character must try. So,
I'll give it a go. Yep, that's a three. Okay.
So, we're going to raise that by two. One, two.
And somebody else can give it a try. It's a perception?
Yeah. The eyeball? Triangle with the eye. Dante,
you give it a shot for me first. That was a four.
All right, Commander, give it a shot. I don't
have the eyeball at all. Yeah, me either, man.
I've got a negative, so... But I have nothing.
It just means we're in neutral, yeah. It's a
roll of six. Four. Doesn't matter if I roll a
six. When does this end? Is this just how everything
implodes? This is how we die. Does it say? It
just says... Raise EPM by two and another active
character must try. All right. How many times
have we raised it? What's it at now? I'm getting
nervous. I can't see the board. It's at 17 now.
17? We've all gone around, I think, at least
once now. I think it's your turn again then.
No items here that are going to help in any way?
The only one. All right. Here we go. It's a five
plus one. Thank God. That's a six. So we pass.
Draw data 147. All right, find data. Flipto fiddles
with the knobs to restore the image on the screen.
It's looped video footage of the evil power master
on Earth. The data provides excellent material
to add to Flipto's algorithm. Turn over the disc
and raise the signal tracker. The amount shown,
if any character has one or more of the following
data, raise the tracker an additional amount.
136. Nope. SI9. Nope. Data 89. Nope. Nope. All
right. Choose a new planet to explore. We hit
25 now. We hit 25? That was getting close. So
we're 25 to 17? Yep. Can we find him? The Rapid
Force crew has found the location of the evil
Power Master. Immediately go to story card 13
of the current planet. Suddenly... Dante starts
spinning in a fantastical manner and sounds a
series of victorious beeps. Beep, beep, beep.
The crew has never heard before. What's happening,
asks Chen. Those are the completion beeps, Flipto
says. That last signal boost was enough for the
algorithm to pinpoint the evil power master's
location. You mean we can finally get him, Chen
asks. That's right, says Flipto. Bending down
to look at a display on Dante's head, he's hiding
out. Right here on Earth. Let's go stop that
cockroach, says Terra, with a whoop. Dante takes
over the Fizzit's controls and sets a course
for the signal coordinates. The most evil beeping
comes from Flipto's scanners. The evil Power
Master is here on Earth. The signal leads the
crew to an island far off the coast. A pirate
ship circles the island, threatening any boats
that come close. But the Fizzit flies too high
to shoot with cannons, and the pirates can only
rattle their sabers in frustration. The signal
scanner leads them into the mouth of a volcano,
and Dante steers in without hesitation. A convenient
landing platform awaits them deep inside. Stepping
off the ship and into the hot bowels of the volcano,
the crew finds an iron door to a bunker, suspiciously
unlocked. To fight the evil power master, get
the deck labeled Final Showdown. Perchance to
dance with evil, and go to story card one. Make
all characters active. All right. It's the final
showdown. Perchance to dance with evil. Standing
in the entry to the evil power master's lair,
the crew pauses to drink it all in. The adventures,
the missteps, the explosions, the funny feeling
they might have died and come back to life. Several
times, maybe. The dramatically scored mental
montage ends abruptly with a glaring spotlight
and a slow clap, but not the good kind. The kind
of slow clap that reeks of sarcasm. Shielding
their eyes, they look up to see their nemesis,
the evil power master. Give up, you fiend! You're
going down, shouts Chen. The evil power master
laughs. Fat chance, he says, a press of a button,
and lasers speckle the crew like chicken pox.
I could end this now, but instead, he presses
another button, and the crew flinches. Instead
of turning into little mounds of ash, They watch
a pile of overstuffed pillows land in front of
them. Choose your weapons. The crew is stunned.
Terra speaks up. You want to have a pillow fight?
A pillow fight to the death? Howls the evil power
master. Required challenge. Strength or dexterity.
Challenge level is six. Pillow womp. The evil
power master. I know a trick if anyone has some
doorknobs. All right, Chen, you've got a plus
one to strength, right? What? She is a plus one
to both strength and dexterity. And I have this
magnifying glass that is plus two to strength.
That didn't break when I bought it from you before.
Well, then give me back my ray gun. So when I
roll, I'll have a plus two. Okay. All right,
Chen, you're going first. Womp this bitch. One
and three is four. Oh, man, and your one destroys
the magnifying glass. Everything you give to
people, man, they just shatter. Okay, lose an
active character, must discard a challenge booster
or assist card. I'll discard the diplomacy one.
I don't think that's going to matter much. No,
I'll discard the hover module because... Yes.
Okay. When am I going to pilot? I don't know,
because we're probably... Jenna, hopefully not
die here. I'll be pretty disappointed. Okay,
so who's going to take a... Oh, we don't keep
going. An active character must discard a challenge
booster or assist card, then go to story card
six. This isn't the first time the crews had
to save the day using cozy bedding, and they
pummel the evil power master with pillows. However,
something strange happens. Each hit causes him
to increase in size. Soon, he towers over them,
47 feet tall. That's a big problem. deadpan's
Flipto. Chen points at the evil power master's
now massive feet, and Flipto nods. The pair jump
forward, landing on his big toes, but instead
of a pained yelp, they hear two pops, and look
up to find three evil power master heads, cackling
as a trio. The middle head grimaces, Fools! You
have sealed your fate! Wait, there's something
in your teeth, says the left head, and all three
necks crane as the heads check one another for
spinach in their teeth and unsightly nose hairs.
Flipto takes advantage of the distraction. Dante,
activate sound mode. An eyebrow ring coils out
from a port in the droid's head and locks in
place. He produces a turntable, a strobe light,
and a pair of magnetic headphones to complete
the look. He shoots into the air, orbiting the
three -headed giant. Content that they look good
enough to defeat their foes, the evil power master
trio inhales deeply, causing wind to whip around
the room. A deep droning hum emerges from their
throats, underscored by an ominous bass that
chills the crew to their bones or circuits. Required
challenge. You've got to be kidding me. Perception
or piloting. Lay down some killer beats. This
challenge level is a seven. Anybody have any
pluses to anything? I've got a plus to perception
and piloting. All right, let's see it. Because
I feel like if we lose, something real bad is
going to happen. A four plus? Five, six. Six
isn't a seven. All right. The ominous hum suddenly
turns into a sweet melody as the three evil voices
coalesce in a pitch -perfect resonance. Lunar
rose, I'm home again. They croon, and a pattern
begins to play across their eyes, lines of music
repeating, and then forming a beam that encases
Dante. The droid's head pops open, and he produces
a crane and a straw hat, tipping it at the crew.
Lunar Rose, oh won't you be mine, he sings in
a rich baritone. Not a barbershop quartet, Dante's
joined the dark side, exclaims Chen, and he's
also helping the evil power master. I like it,
says Terra. As the four voices join in a silky
harmony, their voices are the instruments, and
it reminds me that things are more expensive
nowadays. Seems like a weird thing to say. They
reach the crescendo and then bring it home with
a final tender note. Oh, Lunar Rose. The quartet
bows to no applause for where Chen, Terra, and
Flipto had stood are now three shining red and
white barber poles. Their barbershop music turned
them into glass. Everyone's a critic, Dante says,
elbowing the evil power master. They share a
laugh. and Dante picks the evil power master
up by the collar, flying off with him to bring
the Lacunian system into submission. You lose.
The evil power master takes control of the Lacunian
system. We became glass. After all that? Two
hours and we fucking lost? We became barber poles?
God damn it. I feel bad now. This is the second
game in a row we lost. Yeah, we did right at
the end. Yeah, we're not doing so good. We got
a 33 % win rate so far on Season 3 of Tales from
the Crypt. Not fantastic. No. It was a fun story,
though. It was. Thank you all for joining me
today. What did you guys think? I had a great
time. I liked it. I probably won't remember.
So we can play again. The good thing is there
is lots of replayability in this. There's like,
how many planets we didn't even get to? five
yeah five five yeah and there's obvious lot obviously
lots of choices so maybe someday we'll give it
a second shot but it won't be this season or
tonight and that time we will win hopefully we'll
win and uh next time we return to an rpg we're
excited to get back to that yeah me too i'm super
excited to be back with you guys in two weeks
and until then we will see you next next tuesday
oh renee missed it she just i don't do that oh
she don't do your thing you're on the podcast
you have to do it and now we're gonna do it again
and until next time we'll see you next next tuesday
it sounds so much better when that many people
do it That's it for today's episode. We hope
you've enjoyed listening as much as we've enjoyed
playing. If you have, go run and tell all your
friends so that we can turn as many people into
CritCats as possible. Tales from the Crit is
a Wolfbeard Games audio podcast. And if you like
us, please subscribe and leave a review wherever
you get your podcasts and head on over to our
Instagram page and our YouTube channel. Both
of those are at Tales from the Crit Podcast.
All right. Bye -bye. And an adequate DJ. And
an adequate DJ. My weaknesses are... My weaknesses
are poor depth perception. Hold on. Did you want
him to finish or not? Overly... Wow, I give overly...
Sure enough, when he... Inside. Droid Base 1.
The crew finds an old friend from the Purple
Haze War. Sorry, I had to do it. What do we need
to get a 4? Perfect. Zero. We're good. I'm glad
you got these ones. Sounds so unfun to read.
The ship plunges into the crystal... No, I already...
I got really thrown off by all the rhyming. Sorry.
But we're doing good. This is way better. We
tried to play this, Derek, Renee, Rebecca, and
I tried to play this a couple months ago, I think.
We made it not nearly this far. I think we were
at like 21 EPMs and like... Six signal boosts.
We fucked up literally everything we could. It
was rough. Yeah, and then Rebecca Rage quit.
That's why I won't play tonight. That is why
she's on the couch. Dante pilots the ship toward
the surface of Silica, a planet composed almost
entirely of... Man, I was doing so good, too.
I know. I've read my fair share of paleontology...
Paleontology? Wow. And I brought ring coils out
from the port. Wow. And out. Wow. What am I saying?
See you next, next Tuesday. Yeah. Okay.