Welcome to Tales from the Crit Season 3. Bigger,
badder, and stickier. By joining us today, you
have been officially upgraded to Crit Cat status.
So, welcome to the club. Tales from the Crit
is an actual play podcast where we focus on smaller
story arcs from some of your favorite RPGs, as
well as some of the less known or obscure ones.
We also play some highly narrative tabletop board
games and also some micro RPGs. All of those
feature a revolving cast of players, so you're
going to see a lot of variety there. And as always,
I am your host and your Crit Keeper, Riley Groves.
We're so glad to have you here with us today.
Now let's get into the episode. Content warnings
can be found in the description. Welcome back
to Tales from the Crit. I am returning as the
Crit Keeper, as always. And at the table, I have
John. Hello. Mikey. Ernie. Derek. Hello. And
I am going to be playing Ellie. Ellie. John's
Joel. Mikey's Bill. Wow, I'm struggling. And
Derek is Tommy. I usually have like a card that
tells me where everybody's sitting and what their
names are for easy reference. Fuck it, we're
doing it live. We're doing it live. I don't even
have my name right. We are continuing our playthrough
of The Last of Us Escape the Dark, created by
Themeborn Games, which is based on the highly
successful game The Last of Us and The Last of
Us 2 by Naughty Dog and made into a show on HBO,
which the second season is going on now. We have
completed day four. But before we do that, we're
going to answer a deck from our pod deck, interview
deck. We're going to went off the WTF deck. All
right. And the question is, if you could sing
a duet with anybody, who would it be? I don't
know the name of the person I'm thinking of.
Yeah, I don't know who I would duet with, but
I know the song that it would be. I'm thinking
of a song, too. I've got a song in mind. Oh,
you do? I do. Hold me now. I'm six feet from
the edge and I'm thinking maybe six feet ain't
so far down. Oh, I'm glad we all found the same
song. My man. That's incredible. I wish I could
see the look on Rebecca's face. I love that.
What is he doing? We all agree. Yeah. It'd be
Scott Staff. Fantastic. We just want to be backup
singers for Creed. That's it. That's all I ever
wanted. I mean, at this point in my life, I'd
even take Alter Bridge. Blasphemy. Right on,
day four. Day four. Just so everybody knows,
we did modify the rules a little bit just for
full transparency so it doesn't seem like we're
just stupid or missing things. We're not replacing
threat tokens on the board just for timeliness.
We don't want to make... this go on forever and
ever we're made a commitment that we are going
to win or die it's true by the end of this episode
and we're going to try to do it real hard whichever
one it is it's true so that's what she said ellie
and joel we find ourselves in the sewers joel
scraping back after yeah i tried to take on a
clicker by myself it did not go well nope well
at all i barely made it out of there alive and
uh yeah i'm looking to recoup some health and
maybe not do that again So I think that might
be the best. I mean, I don't know about you,
but I'm thinking about camping for a night. I
mean, that technically loses us a day, right?
Or it loses my action, right? Yeah, so that's
going to use an action for you. But that's fine,
because if I just pause my turn, because we don't
have to take turns, I could wait for Tom and
Bill to get to the swamp, and we can go blow
that clicker's brains all over the place. That
sounds like a good plan to me. So I think I am
going to do that. I am going to spend my action
to camp and regain. Is that 2 HP? And then we
will put an X on that and that. campsite has
been used up. So what are you back up to for
HP? Oh, I'm at a measly 6. I'm only at a 7, so.
I don't feel too bad. Not good. Not great. Are
we still there? We're doing the worst. I'm at
11, so I'm still doing good, because I'm just
a little girl. Me too. Just a wee little baby.
Why don't you all skedaddle up here, and we'll
hang out for the first time in this game. And
I'll be like, oh my god, Bill, Tommy. So mine
is still... Mine's dark, but you are on the light
side of things. Yes. Oh, my God. Bill. Tommy.
What's been up, y 'all? Tommy. What's up, man?
Joel's asleep because he got his ass whooped.
He doesn't look good. He'll be all right. Y 'all
want to go shoot a big monster? Yeah. That thing
still down there that took care of him? Yeah.
And it's going to be really a lot stronger this
time. So that'll be fun. Yeah. It's that or we
all just wait. Nah, let's go. Let's do it. Let's
do it, do it. Let's roll a bunch of dice. Let's
try and sneak down. All right, so we're going
to roll two dice. Three, right? Because there's
three of you? No, two. I keep forgetting about
that. All right, our first two dice is a might
and cunning and a might and wisdom. All right,
and then we need to add two mights for each of
us, so that's a total... Wow. Is that right?
Is that accurate? I need way more dice. Oh, no.
I need way more dice. Oh, gosh. Golly. Gang.
Whoa. Go! Three might. There's got to be six
might. Oh, yeah, six might. Yep. And then it's
going to be three whatever you roll. All right.
Three whatever I roll. The end of the episode.
That is two wisdom and a wisdom cunning. I'm
glad I talked you all into. I mean, you know,
in the world of The Last of Us, there's no guaranteed
survival, so this is very accurate to what the
world of The Last of Us is like. Yeah, quite
apropos. Do we get any listen or sneak rounds?
I believe so. You get both. We're sneaking up
on them. And this character has no long -range
attacks, but they do bang for a three up close,
just warning you after experience. Joel shouts
from the fire. So if we listen at all... We have
to add more chapter dice to it, right? What?
Isn't that what we did last time to John? So
you did it right. You did it right for me because
I was thinking of the amount of players, so it
should have been one if it was just me, but I
didn't take into consideration the exclamation
points. Gotcha. Okay. So you guys, we did it
right, but that was my, I thought. But we did
it right, but we did it wrong. We did it right.
I thought about it wrong. Okay. It's on me. It's
just a personal thing. It's not you. Okay. So,
Mikey, you're listening first? Yep. I mean, Bill.
We need a wisdom there, Bill. Did not get it.
Okay. Nice. I'm going to listen. Ooh, I got a
listen with a shield. All right. I'm going to
listen, too. I did not do it. Okay. So, you can
change three. No, it says crit. Oh, wait. I didn't
crit. Never mind. Excuse me. It's three. Yes.
So, you can change three die if you want. I am
not nearly on the same skill set as y 'all. You
are dramatically opposed to the two of us, so
what would... Would you like any of them changed?
Nah, it's okay. I'll stay in the back and I'll
blast as long as I can. I've got good wisdom,
so if we could work down the might ones quick
with you guys, that would be good for me. I've
got mad coming, but you guys don't have good
coming. I guess we didn't need to do a listen
round. Yeah. Okay. I didn't realize you were
that, because I was going to get rid of all the...
Cunnings. Yeah, that's okay. I'm going to sneak
in then. Oh, yeah. I got my sneak on. Get your
sneak on. And I'm protected. Do I want to sneak?
If y 'all ruin my sneak, I'm going to be pissed.
What is the advantage of sneak? You get an attack.
I get an extra attack and I crit, I get two.
You got to sneak with a shield, so I... Yeah,
I'm fine if you fuck up. I'm going to try and
sneak. Oh, wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Yeah, glass bottle. I'm going to look at
my inventory and use a glass bottle instead of
rolling discard to pass a sneak. And that still
means I keep my thingy because I didn't roll,
right? Mm -hmm. Sure. Don't you fuck up this
roll on us, man. Bill! Oh, I got it. Oh, he got
it. Nice. And we're in combat, right? Yes. So
when taking the melee action, if your first roll
includes a cunning, you may roll again and choose
which of these two results to apply. I don't
think that happens until you're still sneaking,
right? Okay, so we're in sneak. We're in sneak.
We're not in cunning. We're in sneak round. Yes,
we're in sneak round. Okay, making a sneak check.
If you fail, you may re -roll once. Oh, I pass.
So we all get a sneak attack, so we all get to
take away one die. One die from it. So three
die? So I have, when making a sneak attack, remove
an additional die because of my switchblade.
Fuck yeah, so take away four. This is not looking
as impossible anymore. Okay, that's the end of
the sneak attack. We removed a might cunning
and three mites. Somebody hand me a little white
shooter die. Yeah, actually me too. I'm going
to fucking let my shoddy rip here. That's one
hit. So I can take away one thing. So take away
one. Dealer's choice. Take away the might one.
My shotgun is now empty. Who's up next? So wait,
we took out four in the first sneak attack? First,
Riley took out four, and Riley just took out
another. I'm going to blast it with that one
bullet that I have left. Do it. That is a hit,
so I take two. All right, Tommy. We got two good
hits on this fucking clicker. It's only got four
dice left. Yeah, I don't know what Joel's problem
was. This thing's a baby. Sometimes, you know,
performance issues. Tommy's going to take a ranged
shot with the 9mm. And that is a miss. Boo. Boo,
Tommy. And it has no ranged attack, right? It
does not. I do not believe it does. Good, good.
Back around to you. Yeah. You know what? I'm
going to run up and I'm going to smash it with
my plank. I'm angry at attacking a boy. Does
he take a melee attack to anybody who did a melee
to him, though? Not yet. Nobody did? No. I don't
think anybody was close enough. I got a wisdom
with my plank. I'm going to fucking use my last
durability, though, and I'm going to crank off
two damage to it, leaving it with just two dice.
Nice. Wisdom and a might left. I feel invincible
right now. Well, I'm going to run it in. You're
going to go? Yeah. Go. Bash him. Well, you were
grabbing your water. I'm going to hit him with
the lead pipe. All right. So I just rolled a
cunning, but when taking the melee action. If
your first roll includes a cunning, you may roll
again to choose which of the two results apply.
Since it doesn't apply, I'm going to roll again.
And I have a shielded might, so I'm going to
take that. And I'm shielded. Did I pass my listen
check earlier? You could take the one to get
rid of it and make it done. Yeah, but I'm good.
It's your turn, though. Well, we've got left
on it. Just one die left. You've got a wisdom.
I'm going to punch it. And I rolled a cunning,
which is not what we needed. Not what we needed
at all. Oh, no. It does three damage to everybody
that did a mirror layer attack. Even though I
shielded? No, not if you shielded. Okay. I'm
going to run up and hit it with my fist. Get
that wisdom. I did not. But you shielded, though.
I am shielded. Come on, Bill. Kill this fucking
thing. Nope. Oh, no. Oh, no. But you're mailing.
You could still do it. Just do it. Yeah, you
can re -roll. I think it's only my first roll.
Derek can still kill it. I'm going to go for
it. I got a crit. Nice. All right. Kill that
fucking thing. It is dead. We beat the clicker.
We beat the clicker. I qualified for the special
ability at the beginning of this round, and I'm
going to take a tune. Which is a listen round.
Make a listen check. If you fail, you may re
-roll once. Combat round, when taking a melee
action, if your roll includes a wisdom, you may
roll again and choose which of the two results
applies. So my question also now is that now
that that's complete, the search happens. I'm
not involved in that, right? No. But we can still
give stuff to you. We're just chilling. We're
still in the same zone. Yeah, okay. So the gifts
can be given. However, I'm going to draw blind.
I'm going to take one of the turns. I'm going
to draw blind. That sucks. Tracked by hunters.
Lose a day. Add a boss target. So would you lose...
Okay, yeah. Nice. Okay. There's one other action
up for crabs. I am going to... One action each.
Or you can lose a day and... One action or one
action between the two of us? One action between
the two of us. Okay. Or if we do lose a day and
add another boss target, which I feel like if
we're cheating on other things... we should really
stack the boss tokens up against us. I'm okay
with that. It seems like the fairest thing to
do, right? Yeah. If we're going to make other
aspects easy, let's make ourselves hard. So let's
take away another day, slap on another bossy
token. There's three more fucking actions to
be taking now, so don't overthink it. Unless
there's an action that'll get me health, I'm
fine. Let's gain intel on one place, and then
we'll both scavenge, and we can each take an
item card. I don't know why you think you're
taking all the item cards. What? Track by hunters,
bro. I think what you just said just... Everybody
just take an item card. How about that? Hold
on. It's fairsies. Here, put that in your item
slot. I'm going to put something in my item slot,
too. The snack bar. You should give that to Joel.
Oh, no, I was taking the search action. Yeah,
me too. We all did. There's four actions. I took
two. Give me a rag. All right. A rag won't help
me with anything right now. I need ammo. What's
everybody's health at? Oh, I'm at a six. Four.
Ten. Yeah, Tommy, here's some chocolate. Hey,
thanks. I'm going to eat this and gain one HP.
All right. So we all flip? Yep. Night over. Day
fuf. Preparation phase. Morning. So... Um...
Hand me another bossy token. Oh, wow. Okay. If
we get one more, we're... We only get one more.
We lose. Oh. Yeah, so, you know. No, no, no.
Don't add one for that. Okay. I thought we just
said the day was over. Yeah, it was, but that's
not when you add those tokens. As soon as you
get an exclamation point. But we're not doing
that, so you said we were going to do that. Yeah,
I just meant let's make it as hard on ourselves
as possible by making choices that would increase
the number of tokens that were on there. All
right, so we are on day five now. Day five. We
can make our way to the university or to the
lakeside from the sewers. I'm going to prep real
quick and discard my ammo and put a round in
the old shotgun here. I'm going to do the same.
Can you do two preparation actions at once or
is it only one? Because I have two ammo things.
I think if I discard both, I might be able to...
You can reload all ammo, I think. It just says
requires ammo, so I think as much ammo as you
have is what you can reload. Yeah, let's just
say you can do as many prep things as you want.
I think that's what the rules say. I will reload
two shots to my shawty. Now do we want to move
on, or what do we think? I mean, that melee looks
pretty cool. Everybody has a melee weapon except
for... Yeah, no, I am hurting. I have almost
no items or anything. I've just got a shotgun
at this point. Do you think the lakeside or the
university would be less threatening? How many
cards have we spent from the lakeside? I feel
like a lot. Not a lot, but more than... Michael,
do you have a blade? I feel like we're better
off going with a switchblade, to be honest with
you, because we know at least there's one there.
We don't know what's on top there. I'll give
you a bottle. Can I have it? Oh, you guys going
to do some crafting? I think so. I'm going to
try. What can you craft, bro? I can craft a shiv.
Nice. Yeah, can I trade this to you? Do you have
any binding? Yes. That was the whole point of
what I was doing. Why would I let you take my
idea? I wanted to upgrade my pipe. I was holding
onto that blade. Yeah, and you just gave it to
me to upgrade my board. Seems like some general
thievery, but I just got robbed. Made it work,
though. A fair trade. A fair trade. A weapon
for a weapon. I don't even think, can't even
use the blade as well. Give me a crushed up beer
can. You know, is it bacon or is it a beer can?
Well, learn how to make it into a Molotov cocktail.
Just give Joel my rag. So I guess the next thing
is we decide whether we want to go to the university.
Is that what you need? Yeah. Or Lakeside. Get
your rat back. You have a space. I feel like
knowing that bat is there for the Lakeside makes
me really want to go that way. You want to go
to Lakeside? I'm down with Lakeside. Tommy, Bill,
are we going Lakeside? Or do we want to split
again? Which I don't think would be a wise idea
at this point. No, I think we're at the health
point and everything. Let's just keep together.
Lakeside? Lakeside. I mean, or we could scavenge
the sewers again. Let's move on to Lakeside.
Yeah, I feel like we need to move up towards
the boss. Before we die. We're running out of
time. So now that we're here. Look at us all
hanging out. It's like the old times. That didn't
exist. Flip it over. What do we got? Restore
two HP each up to two survivors. Oh, shit. That's
a good one. I'm putting myself on that list.
I would like to go on that list as well. But
also, maybe we try to explore first. No, if we
get into trouble, you could die. Yeah, that's
true. Don't you have scavenge options you can
use while we're doing this? No, sorry, never
mind. Yeah, if you're using the medical supplies,
that's your thing, you're camping. So you can
either camp or explore. So, yeah, if Tommy and
Joel want to take a little brotherly nap, I think
that might be the way to go. You guys are comfortable
with your help. Bill, let's go exploring. All
right, so we're going to extend that. Here we
go. We'll wassail in. We each get two health
there. Yes, we do. Thank you. Oh, I go to eight,
not nine. Okay, you guys are looking better.
A little bit. Seven and eight. Do you want to
scavenge or explore? There's no scavenge. Let's
explore. Explore or camp? Explore. I'm taking
the lead here. You sure are. I got to get one
of them special abilities. Several different
varieties of meat have been discarded on this
filthy kitchen sideboard. Starving. You can't
take your eyes off of it. Each survivor present
must choose one option. Move on. You can't trust
shit in this place. Eat some. You're starving.
You can't pass up a chance to eat. But which
meat? Try to roll a wisdom or a crit in one attempt.
Success? Chose fresh venison. That's the best
you've tasted. Gain 3 HP. Failure. What you chose
was not animal meat. You vomit. Disgusted with
yourself. Lose one HP. After everybody has made
their choice, discard one threat token, and then
search. It was raccoon meat. I fucking love human
meat, says Ellie, who gets a fucking wisdom in
one roll. Crit. Venison it is, kid. Hell yeah.
All right. Now we can search. So now we can each
take an action or we can do what we said we were
going to do earlier, which was add a fucking
threat token and decrease the ship by a day to
have two actions each, which I think sounds awesome.
And you can get two items. Yeah, we can get two
items each. One of us could get that bat. Preferably.
You need a melee weapon. Sure do. That means
you guys don't do anything in the next round?
No, it means that they just... It means we're
caught up. Because we did our thing, so... Oh,
we lose a day, not a day passes. Yeah. I'm going
to take the baseball bat. And you still get one
more, right? Sure do. But I wanted to give Bill
a chance to do things that he likes, too. I'm
going to scavenge and grab. Two items. Here you
go, man. Good adventuring with you, Bill. We
went out and found some food. I just found a
snack bar and a snack bar. Solid. I found a rag.
I got a rock. Rocks are very valuable. I mean,
I could use, I'm not going to lie, I could use
a little bit of health. I was going to say, I
just found two candy bars. I was like, I'm going
to put one in my pocket and save it for Joel
because he looked like shit. Yeah. That's the
end of the day already. All right. Let's flip
it back over. Done with day six. Oh, my God,
dude. We're getting really close to not having
any days left. It's true. I think we spend one
more day here and then move on. We have to have,
like, three days. Yeah. Oh, I get a snack bar.
Oh, shit. Oh, thanks. You should call Bill Oprah.
Thanks, Bill. Thanks, Bill. I am going to eat
this now and gain one HP, so I'm up to nine.
I am as well. I just had some really good venison.
I don't need a Snickers, too. So, new day. Ellie's
feeling awesome. Joel's feeling good. I still
have my one thing where I need to explore alone
and defeat an enemy. But at this point in the
game, it's seeming like I might not get that.
I don't know. Maybe we can. I have to pass a
sneak check. Your health is doing a lot better
than it was. It is better now. But if I explore
alone, that means the three of you will have
to do something else while I try to tackle something
by myself. Question. Do we think that these two
places are going to have more intense monsters
than the other two places? Maybe as you advance.
That was my thought. Might not be smart to do
it alone, but it could be like that other one.
I would think that, but you can meander in almost
any direction. There's splits here. You can go
back. We can go over to the universe. So here's
what I could do. Worst case scenario is I explore
by myself and I see something that I can't handle
and I run and I just lose my turn and you three
are left to do something else for the day. Or
if it's something that I think I can handle.
I'll go into it. It's up to you, man. I'm here
to support you. I think those special abilities
have special abilities attached to them. I think
so, too, and I think I'd like to try and get
one. So if you guys are cool with it, I wouldn't
mind going exploring alone. Joel, with a mustache
like that, you're meant to do great. All right,
let's see what we got. He's done. Fuck. We're
dead. You find footprints in the snow. Hunters
are prowling the pass. Oh, patrolling the pass.
But they prowl, too. Covering the only way through.
It won't be long before they track you down.
But if you act now, you'll have the element of
surprise. Begin combat. So it's listen and sneak.
And if I defeat this enemy, discard a threat
token, then search. All right. So we got one
exclamation point, so it's going to be one. Followed
by a wisdom and three random. Nice. That's some
good. So I get the listen and the sneak. So we're
going to do a listen. Did not get it. Do we try
the sneak? Yeah, we try the sneak. Might as well
go for it. We're not by ourselves. Did not get
it, but I got a shield. Got shielded. Shielded.
All right. So I'm going to go for a blast for
my shorty. Spending one ammo. Oh, no. Yeah, this
is bad. All right, so I take two. Oh, no, I don't
because I got shielded. And then you go right
back and roll right into attack? Yeah, I'm going
to do another one. Another shorty shot. Jesus
Christ! Do you have the ammo for that? I do have
one ammo left. I only used one. Oh, okay. Yeah,
but now I have none. You just used it, yeah.
Joel, earner! Earner is right, and I do take
two damage. So I'm down to eight, seven. I'm
going to have to melee my way out of this, I
guess. All right, so we got a might. I mean,
that's not a might, but... Oh, sorry, a wisdom.
Wisdom? Lots of wisdom. Just take the... The
main? Yep. Okay. Take two. Oh, no. One, two.
Joel, just a reminder, if you die... Yeah, I
know, I know, I know, I know. A might. You do
have a might. All right, we'll get rid of that.
You can't win. Yeah, no matter what I do, unless
I roll shields for all of them, which I cannot
depend on. Wow, those two hits not hitting really
fucked me. Yeah, not great. Not great. Probably
shouldn't have gone in alone again. All right,
I'm out. I'm out. Withdrawn again. What a waste.
All right, thanks, Joel, for fucking us once
again. Yep. It's what I'm here for. All right,
Bill, Tommy, do you guys maybe want to head over
to the university quick? I'm on board with that.
See what the camp's up to. You're going to leave
me here? We'll be back. Or you'll come visit
us. We can at least see what the campsite is.
It might help recover some HP. Yep. We'll move
over there quick. A little quicky quick. There's
a junkyard, which is draw two, or medical supplies,
recover two. Both are for a single player. At
this point, I would save those for... What were
the options? Two health for one or two supplies
for one survivor. Like two items? Two items,
yeah. I'll do the two items. Well, wait a minute,
sir. No, you can do both. What I was saying was
save the medical stuff for... Oh, I see what
I thought. Yeah, take the items and then Tommy
and I will go explore the Universita. Get our
higher learning on. What did we get? I got explosives
and alcohol. The best combination. Alcohol and
a rag. Before we go forward, would you mind giving
Riley that bottle? Why? Can't you make a Molotov
out of the rag and the... You need alcohol, too.
Why wouldn't he give me something? Because you're
staying behind. We're going into combat. Time
out. I don't know what the... You need alcohol,
not a bottle. Oh, I thought... Alcohol and a
rag makes either a health kit or a Molotov. Oh,
you got alcohol. Okay. You have a rag. I thought
it was the bottle. Alcohol plus rag equals health
kit or Molotov. Yeah. Okay. So we could give
it to Riley to make a Molotov, or we could give
it to Ellie to make a Molotov, or we could give
it to Joel to make a health kit. We don't have
alcohol. We just have a glass bottle. Give it
to Ellie. He's about to go. He's got alcohol.
Oh, you do? Oh, you do now. Okay. I have explosives,
which when you mix with sugar. Makes a smoke
bomb. Makes a smoke bomb. Or a blade makes a
nail bomb. Yeah. Nobody's got a blade. We got
rid of the sugar. Give it to Ellie. Yeah, I'll
hang on to the alcohol. I would say give the
alcohol to Ellie. She's about to go into combat.
Yeah. It would be better as a Molotov or a health
kit. And I'll just hang on to the explosive.
That's my last thing. So I get a Molotov? Would
you like a Molotov? Sure, man. Either take a
Molotov or a health kit. How much health does
the health kit health? The health kit is discard
to restore four health shared among any number
of survivors at a location. Discard to restore
two health per survivor not in combat. So you
can get one health per player in combat. Or two
health per player in preparation. I would take
the Molotov for what we're going to do. Just
in case. Or I would make the health kit and leave
it for Joel. Yeah, because my only thing is if
Joel dies, we all die, and Joel's really not
doing great. He's all right. Joel's not. Four
HP. He's at three. Five. He's fine. Give them
all to us. If that's... Okay. It's up to you,
bud. All right. Do you want to take the lead,
or do you want me to take the lead? I have taken
all the leads I need to take, so I just want
to pass a sneak check. I do not need to take
any, so if there's any benefit to it... Oh, no.
Brute. The unexpected sight. Ugh, this giraffe
roaming free is breathtaking. You approach curiously
and begin to offer it branches to feed on. It
stirs up an almost forgotten sense of simple
joy within you. The animal seems to be at peace
here for the briefest of moments you feel, too.
Discard a threat token, then search. Nice! What
a freebie, yo. You don't even get to do your
sneak attack, though. Oh, balls. Let's add another
token and take four actions. Is that what you
want to do? Yeah, man. Every time. I'm trying
to beef this boss boy up. Yeah, let's do it.
No, we die if we fill that with tokens. We won't
do any more. Yeah, we're just going to get to
the boss fight. All right. All right. Fine. Let's
take two fucking actions. There's only two. I
took two actions when we all three of us adventured
last time. So why don't you guys just take one?
It's just you and I. Oh, it's just you and me?
It's just you and I. Oh, fuck yeah. Take a fucking...
Yeah. Right. Is it this or that? You can draw
blind. Oh, that's right. There's draw blind.
Yeah. Hit me with a draw blind. Fuck. Uh -oh.
Fucking yes. Oh, okay. It was a good one. I got
a fucking assault rifle. Nice! Oh, shit. Yo,
who needs a shotgun? I'm not at the same place
as you guys. I mean, he's out of ammo. You have
one loaded in that, so... Yeah, I'll take a shotgun.
I mean, I'm sure it comes back with exact...
I'm sure it comes with what it comes with, capacity.
It comes fully loaded. What is it, two? Is it
one? What am I doing? It's two items. One item.
One item. Oh, wonderful. We got more alcohol.
Mm -hmm. Guess what, Joel? Mm -hmm. You got a
rag. I got some chloroform. Let's go. All right.
So that's our whole turn. Day over night. Joel's
going to try to go in and get these guys again.
No. I have no idea. It's fine. I'll be fine.
No. I'll be fine. I'll be good. We could all
go back to Joel. No, I'm coming to you guys.
Joel could just meet up with us. So far, the
university has been... When Joel meets up with
us, I'm going to give him the alcohol. Thank
you. I would like to craft a health kit. Sick.
I'm working on it. Here you go. A health kit.
I think we're looking pretty good. But not like
the greatest. I have a feeling the boss is going
to suck. But if Joel's going to take the health
kit... Would anyone mind? Oh, wait, no, that
takes an action. Never mind. Well, I can do it
in preparation. We need to get you some stuff,
though. Yeah, I have nothing. You don't even
have ammunition for your gun. Nope. No weapon.
Nothing. It's been a hard time out here for Joel.
We've got to farm some items for Joel. Sounds
like we need to go back into combat right after
Joel preps with taking that health. Yeah, at
least explore. So is that going to bump you up
four health points? Is it two or four? Well,
it's four divided however I like. You need more.
Right. But if I took three and gave someone one.
I'm at 11. I'm at 13. I could use one. I'll take
one if you take three. Okay, yeah. Where does
that put you at? I'm at eight. Okay, that puts
me at nine. Perfect. Just kind of how we were
riding the whole time. Okay. So that's discarded.
Now you really need some shit. Yeah. Let's explore
here. Okay. At least one more time. Does anyone
need to take the lead? Not for me. No, I have
to explore alone, which is not going to happen
anymore. Yeah, I just need to sneak. Not right
now, at least. Last time I snuck up on some giraffes.
All right, we're going to sneak back into this
university. Crossing the upper walkways of the
library, you suddenly spot movement below. A
group of hunters searching for you. They fan
out, taking up positions to cover the exits.
You have to fight your way out. combat begins
there is a listen and a sneak round okay but
let's get our dice taken care of there is want
me to read them to you uh so we got rid of the
there's no yeah there's no threat tokens all
right for this one no threat tokens that's awesome
so we need uh one might for all of us so that's
four might all right that's where we're gonna
get yeah railroaded four might And then we need
two dice rolled for each person. So a total of
eight rollies. I need four more dice to roll.
I think Mike's got them in front of him. Good.
All right, line all those up. Yeah. How many
dice we got here? A lot. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10. We have
12 dice that we're up against. That is, yeah.
Where's the card? Right in front of me. Oh, you
got it. Okay. I got her. Yeah. So that's intense.
All right. Let's go, buddy. I'm going to go for
a listen. Hold me down. I'm going to listen.
I think everybody's going to go for a listen.
I'm going to try for the listen. I succeeded
without a shield. So you're going to change three?
Yep, I can change three. I'm just going to, whatever
ones we have here, I'm going to... I mean, I'm
high on might, and that's all I have. I'm just
going to add any of the single ones to doubles.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I should have done
that earlier, and I think that was my three.
I didn't even think about it. I'm like, ooh,
I did not do well. All right, Mike, did you get
it? Negative. All right. Okay, we're not doing
it. I got a crit. Which crit is five, I believe.
Change five chapter dice. I'll change five chapter
dice. Might, if you don't mind. Yep, I saw. Thank
you. Screwed that one. Changed that one. Yep.
I think we only have one single left. Great.
Nice, nice. And then, Riley, you said you didn't
do that well? No. Okay. So now we go for the
sneak. Now we go for the sneak. Who's sneaking?
I'm going to sneak. I'm going to try at least.
Who's the sneakiest? Hold on, me. Okay, so yeah,
you go first. Let me try to do first because
at least if I can pass the check. Then we can
go from there. Yeah. I didn't. I failed. I fucked
it all up. Okay, so we don't get to... You and
I are the least sneaky. The sneak round is over.
It's over. I've already fucked it up. How about
I go first? I'll just do it. I'll go first. Is
that... You go to go and I yank you back and
I get to go first. That's okay. Are we going
by that last rule applied if you fail to sneak?
We take the highest damage. Is that everybody?
No, only the person that went so far, which would
just be me. Okay. So I just get shot a little
bit. Now we're going in. Now it's in. Now we're
in combat. All right. I'm going to take a crack
with this here 9mm to start things off. And it's
a hit. Nice. So we're going to just drop this
last single. This only single. I'm going to shoot
two. I missed. Ellie is not helping anymore.
I'm just going to melee bash because that's all
I can do. That's going to be... I'll take one
of these off. Wonderful. All right, not too bad.
Bill? I'm going to go with... I'll take one shot
with a shotgun. That's going to be a winner.
All right. Back to me. And then we all take two
fucking damage where they're like, blap, blap.
Cool. So that really hurt. Yes, it did. Not great.
I think I just used my last shot for my pistol.
It says here roll at the same time. For what?
Everything. Hold on a second. I might have been
fucking some shit up. I don't know. Everybody
take one of these black die that John said this
must be the enemy die. Yeah. Earlier too. Everybody
take one of those. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's what
they roll? See if they hit? If an enemy has a
ranged attack value, roll a hit die beside each
survivor who took the shoot or throw action.
Oh, so I didn't shoot. So anybody who was ranged.
So that would be you and I. Yeah, so anyone who
took melee, you're going to take two. For those
who took the shoot action, you got to roll to
see if they actually hit you. They did not. Okay.
Joel, you got shot a few times. No, you got hit
before. Yeah, I think. Roll a shooter dice here.
Yeah, it's going to be a hit. I know. Let's just
see. Yep. Okay. So it wouldn't have made any
difference. Yep. I'm trying to kill myself here.
Well, I'm not trying. It's just the game is trying
to kill me. You're going to get us all killed,
Joel. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. Okay. Right
on. So that wasn't so bad. All right. So I guess
you did your attack, right, Derek? I did not
do my second round. Okay. We have not started
the second round yet. Yeah, it says roll at the
same time, so just roll. I'm going to do a hit,
and I get one of these guys. I'm going to take
one of these off. I got a melee. I'm going to
use this, so I get to drop. There you go. Take
a cunning one? No, don't take a cunning one.
I'm going to. I got good cunning. Also burn.
A thing on my melee weapon. And I got a crit.
Take two? Nice. No. Oh. Crit's only one. You
just get to choose. And I burn to durability,
so I get to choose one. I get to choose any.
Actually, you choose two, yeah. Cool. And I actually,
I did hit with my dice. So I take another damage
off there. So this group of hunters is down to
two damage. That's a good round. Nice. That's
a good round. I still take two. Yeah, anybody
melee takes two. And if you made a shot, you
take. You roll. Yeah, you roll. And I didn't
get hit. Nice. Again. Nice. All right. Let's
end this. All right. We just roll again. Yeah,
I'm going to run in and smack them. Nice. I got
a. I got one. I didn't get anything. I got one.
All right. They're down. All right. Nice. Nice.
Okay. Now we get to search. Now we get to search.
Well, it's only a certain amount per. Do we want
to burn a day? It's two actions. Yeah. I mean.
We got one more day to burn and then we can go
to the boss fight. I'm okay not burning it. I
need to. We need items. I got nothing. I got
nothing. So I'm going to. I'm going to propose
one thing. Okay. I'm going to use mine to discover
some intel. Okay. Flip over that card. See if
it's some sort of weapon. Okay. That's pretty
good. That's El Diablo. You have no ammo. I have
no ammo. I have no ammo or weapon. I have no
ammo. I'm right there with you. So... I want
to give this to Mike. Actually, Mike, you have
explosives. Make a nail bomb. I need a blade
that you took from me. Oh, that's not a blade.
That's... I keep thinking that knife is... So...
Sorry. Do we want to burn the day? I mean, I
think we have to at this point because I have...
Like, if I take that, I'll have the ammo for
that, but then I have nothing else. If I take
an item, I could get something, but it's not
guaranteed to be anything that could help us.
I mean, I say we take a weapon. All right. Somebody's
got to take a weapon. Derek doesn't have any
weapon. He has none, so Derek, take that. You
don't have any ammo. But that's fine. You have
no weapon. I mean, I do. I just discarded it.
Oh, don't discard it. You just don't have any
ammo for it. I have an empty weapon. And I broke
my... What is it? What is it? The 9 mil? It's
the original? The 9 mil. Yeah, get the upgraded
one, because mine's already upgraded. All right.
We'll do that. Capacities, too. All right, I
have El Diablo. Okay, so we can still do two
things. Mostly gain items. We want to burn the
die. I already did. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, let's
get... I mean, I would love to pick an item.
We can take it. You can rest and take the 2 HP.
I'd rather have an item at this point. Yeah.
We're about to go into the last of it, so...
He can't rest. Nice. I got a rag. There's one
more item that needs to be taken. I'll take it.
It's ammo. Nice. Take it. Oh, you take it. No,
give it to him for a reason. I have one shell
left. So I have a rag, though, if anyone has
alcohol. I have explosive if anyone has sugar
or a blade. That's fine. So I guess in prep I'll
just reload this right now so I don't have to
worry about it. Do you think we're ready? I think
we're as ready as we're able to be. I got one
shot and a prayer. I think one more combat either
way is going to take us out. Fuck it. Let's do
it live, bro. Let's do it. We're going to the
boss. Joel can literally take two more hits before
he's done. One, two, three hits. Unless something
comes at you with like a four HP hit. All survivors
must travel to this location on the same day.
At last, the safe haven of Jackson is in sight.
It's warm, welcoming lights shimmering in the
valley below. One final challenge stands in your
way. Turn over now. Oh, no. We have encountered
a Fedra blockade. Guns a -blazin', boys. Who
went in first? Was it me? Yeah. You picked it
up. All right. Oh, well, that's gone forever.
Nope, that is not. No, it's literally right under
you. Yeah, it is not a hit. Well, roll it on
the table. No, that's good. It only counts if
it lands on the floor and it's good, it's good.
It's a good roll. It's right there. House rules.
You must roll a hit. Okay. Hit die, losing two
HP for every hit rolled. Then begin combat. No
sneak? There is a listen and a sneak round. All
right. I'm going to definitely try to escape.
Let's get our... However, there is also a combat
special. Deathly die. Oh. With these fellas and
ladies. At the end of each round, after normal
damage is dealt, the federal blockade unleashes
a suppressing barrage. Each survivor must roll
an additional hit die, losing two HP for every
hit rolled. Fuck my life. We're dead. Joel's
dead. Meaning everybody's dead. We are all going
to die. We are not prepared. One of us. One of
us. One of us. We died in the exact same spot.
Okay. All right. So who's going to be the last
of us? Literally, who's going to be the last
person to die? It's going to be Joel, funny enough.
Oh, no. Oh, good gravy. Because of all those
boss tokens that I had told us that we needed
to put on there to make it fair and even. Oh,
no. We don't get a sneak round. Time out. This
is not all the bad news. There's more bad news.
I know there's more bad news. Because for every
boss token, there's another die as well. So,
first of all, we need five tokens because of
the boss tokens. Plus another bonus seven, and
we don't get a sneak round. That's why there's
so many of these. That covers the tokens and
what is on them. Okay. So that's good. How many
is that? A lot. Okay. Six, nine, eleven. Cool.
Twelve. Twelve. The dirty fucking dozen. Five
and seven. Okay. Yeah, I apologize. We are not
ready. I need the box. There you go, buddy. There
you go. I'm going to go pee while you roll these.
You'll have time. Yeah, when you come back, there
will be... There will be a pyramid of dice in
front of us. 24 points. 24. I'm going to keep
holding dice. Another 12. Yeah, another 24. There
is another two wisdom. This is going to be quick.
Per person. This is impossible. This can't be
done. This can't be done. What are my other six?
Is there a card in here that's like a freaking
tactical nuke? He's got a machine gun. It is
going to do nothing. Are they all mites? Yeah,
he's gonna die. I gotta make a third row. I think
it's gonna fit the whole thing. I gotta make
a third row. Yeah, I know. And then plus those.
I think it's gonna fit the whole thing on the
board. You're gonna make two more rolls. You're
gonna roll another four. Purpose. No way. Yeah,
man. This is insane. I really fucked us with
how many of those boss things. Oh, beef up the
boss. I want to beef up the boss. Yeah. It's
just going to be fucking ten more minutes of
just clacking on the board, audience members.
This is a slaughter. I didn't ask how big the
room was. I said I cast fucking fireball. Yo,
was that it? Did I do good? Oh, no. John just
took a little bathroom break. I'm in danger.
We just rolled up with a bunch of revolvers to
take on a tank. Possibly air support. Excuse
me, sir. Can you get out of our way? No, that's
not accurate. That's not accurate. That's not
right. There's no way that happened. We're taking
on... Because somebody decided to add 12 tokens
to it to make it fair. Hey, GM, maybe we find
a loot box? Or a benefactor box? Immediately?
I say we do the university one more time and
we just happen to find an armory. You just helped
out a danger dingo. The ghost of Steve Irwin
smiles upon you. Reward, I just said the ghost
of Steve Irwin smiles upon you. All right. Yeah.
We're going to get massacred. This is going to
last a minute. We're going to die in the first
instance. That's 29 dice. I'm going to die in
the first instance. I'm done. We can't. I have
four life. That's two rounds. We each find a
nail bomb and a medic pack. I can give her two
of those dice. That's it. That's only 29 dice?
Yeah. We need another five. Five? There are not
that many dice. Just put them on there. It doesn't
matter what the fuck they are. It doesn't even
matter. I'll just throw that one on. There we
go. Just so we know, as soon as we actually start
rolling our dice, I'm going to start my stopwatch
just to see how long we last in real time. We
needed 34 dice. All of them? No, we still have
a couple. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yo. All right. This
is no exaggeration, listeners. There's seven
dice left in the box. It is six dice per person
plus five dice for all the boss tokens I put
on there. And then when you flip the boss tokens
over, it gives you more things to put on. And
that was a whole nother seven on top of that.
And we can't sneak. So we could listen and change
three of them. We can't get rid of it. So the
moral of the story, listeners, is that don't
go to the last boss until you absolutely need
to and you are ready. Just ready. Don't spend
anything on anything up to that point because
you need it all. Yeah, don't add boss tokens
to the final boss and take the extra two items.
It's not worth it. It's not worth it. We learned
a lot. Unless each one of those items is a flamethrower,
it's not worth it. But as promised. We are going
to win or die tonight. Well, yeah. As promised,
we're going to die. And we are going to play
out every death as far as we can make it. Regardless
of somebody. Two of our crew have a special ability.
Two do not. I also like how we rolled up here
with a lead pipe, four bullets, and a couple
of squirt guns. And a hope and a dream. A rag.
I've got one Molotov cocktail and a bat. I got
a rag. I could stuff it down a... I was really
hoping to be able to, in the first moment, knock
out a little bit of it with the stealth. I'm
set up for stealth and sneak attacks. Nope, thanks
to Riley, we don't get sneak attacks. All right,
we're just going to roll it. Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on. Let's do this. Coming down
from Buttercup Refuses is a platinum benevolent
fucking benefactor box. If you guys haven't read
or listened to Dungeon Crawler Carl, you don't
know what that is. But... Essentially to make
it so it's just like a tad bit, we're still going
to lose, but like a tad bit cooler. More entertaining.
Yeah. We're going to die with style. Let's all
just take like five cards. I was going to say
max HP and max ammo would do something. Max HP.
No, that's dumb. You gain two HP. What if we
all just took five item cards real quick? Five
item cards real quick? I mean, I would settle
for two, but five? We can only hold several.
Oh, I guess we can. Yeah, let's just take two.
Well, I can... Whatever they may be, and then
have a trade round before we actually go in.
We have a prep round, yeah. Let's pretend we
explored better and did better. Oh, my God. All
right. I got an ammo, and I got a binding. We're
cheating here on Tales from the Crit. Never happened
before in the history of the show. Yo, we're
fudging. We're fudging. I've got blade and a
binding. Okay, so I have a binding as well. So
if anybody has a blade, Riley and I can make
shivs. If anyone has alcohol, I can make a Molotov
or a health kit. I have canned food. You need
the HP. I do. I'll take the canned food. Thank
you for that. I also have canned food, and I'm
going to use mine. I'll use mine. I get two?
I'm going to upgrade my baseball bat. I have
explosives and alcohol. I could create a Molotov,
or you could create a Molotov, or we could create
a health kit. I have a rag. What would be more
beneficial, the bomb or... Probably the bomb,
considering the amount of dice we have in. It's
like, it's either, you know, if you're going
to be a bear, be a grizzly. I have explosives
and a blade now. I'm going to make a nail bomb.
All right. So that still leaves us with a...
I'm going to give you the alcohol. Oh, you're
going to give me the alcohol? I'll give you the
alcohol. Okay. Make whatever you need for it.
If anyone else has another blade, we can make
another nail bomb. I know, I have a binding.
I'm the same as you. If anybody has sugar...
At the start of each round, remove one. Discard
after combat. That's pretty good. I think we
go glass cannon on this. I think we spend the
alcohol and the rag and we make ourselves a Molotov.
Make another boomstick? Yeah, because that's
removing one at the beginning of each round if
we have more than one. Does that put us up three
bombs? So we've got two Molotovs and a nail bomb.
And I've got a thrown bottle. Which is good for
an attack. What's this other thing you've been
carrying around this whole time that I haven't
seen you use? It's on a sneak attack. This is
my switchblade. I think that's it. Should I try
to explore it alone? See if I can get my card?
No. I think we're fucked. I'm not going to go
in on that alone again. Nope. Sit down the dummy
to negotiate. Thank you, Buttercup Refuse, for
those delightful items. It is going to make...
Zero difference. Maybe a round. I will actually
spend that reload right before we go. Get good.
It might have bought us a round. Get good with
your god. Two. Make your peace with your dear.
What's their damage to us? A lot. Two to roll.
No, three melee. And then they do another two.
Maybe. After that. So, all right. We're here.
Against the blockade. Stop fucking moving. Let's
just all attack at once. Yeah, I'm going to throw
in my Molotov. This is the last stand. This is
the end of Devil's Rejects right here. So we
throw in one. This is the last stand at the end
of Devil's Rejects. One hit. If we get a hit,
we remove one thing at the beginning of each
one. We got a hit. All right. So that's two hits
with Molotov cocktails. All right. So at the
beginning of the next round, we remove two. So
we're chipping away already. All right. I'm going
to use my nail bomb, which is two. Two? Any two?
Any two. I'm just taking it random. All right.
They're down to 32. Did you guys take any? We're
going to take one at the beginning of the next
round. That's what they did. And every round.
Every round. Both rounds after that. So we removed
two at every round. Yeah, it was a good investment.
As soon as these guys don't stop dropping and
rolling, they're going to light us up. So now
Derek goes. I am going to shoot with El Diablo.
It is not a hit. Poop. Alright, and then they...
Did you go yet, Bill? Oh yeah, you threw the
nail bomb. Alright, and then they... It'll be
two hits, right? Of the black die? If you get
a hit, then you take two damage. None there?
Nice. And then at the end of that round, everybody
rolls a black die to see if they get hit and
take two more damage. I did, so that's two. That's
four damage for Ellie that round. I don't. All
right, so beginning of the round, we remove two.
Remove two. And then, you know, I'm just going
to go in. We got him down to 30. I'm going to
go in with Joel. What's our collective health
right now? Not good. I'm at four. I'm at nine.
Nine. Okay, 27 to 30. Theoretically, the odds
aren't on our side. I'm going for it. Yeah. I'm
going to spend two, and we're going to roll two.
That's one hit and one miss, so I do remove two.
I got a crit. You don't roll a crit on your shotgun.
You roll whatever the... You roll a... Oh, that's
right. Nice. So I got a hit. That's one anyway.
Solid. I ran in with my baseball bat, my upgraded
baseball bat that I got from Buttercup Refuse.
I did hit. And a shield, so I'm protected for
the next damage. That's a cunning. I'm actually
going to burn another durability, so I do three
damage on that one. So two more? Yep. All right.
Shit, this does not seem as impossible at this
moment. At this moment, but... Give it a second.
Yeah. So now we have to roll for our... Oh, no,
you guys still have to... We're down to 24. Yeah,
I don't have a shot. I'm going to take a shot
with the revolver again. And that's a hit. Taking
out two more. If we win... No way. No, it's not
going to happen, but I... I don't know, man.
If we win... Blowies for everyone. I'm going
to go in with my last durability on my lead pipe.
I'm swinging for the fucking fences. Go, bro.
I got... A mite with a shield. You got it. A
mite with a shield. And you spend one, you do
two. I would get rid of the singles, but... Oh,
we were paying attention. It doesn't matter.
Yeah. Did everybody go? Yeah, so now we roll
for... Yeah, if you attacked with a gun, roll
your hit dice. We both rolled shields for our
melee, so we're protected. One, two. I took two.
This could be it. If I roll... And this is the
special thing, right? Yeah, so then roll again.
So, Mikey, you got to roll once. My second one
was... Ner... Joel! That's it. One. I took it.
Oh, was it one? Two. It's two. It's two. Okay.
Joel's down. Joel's up. Joel falls. Joel Osteen's
dead. Tommy. Billy. Keep on going. So we, I spend
one round into Joel's head to put him out of
his misery. Thank you. Nope, just kidding. Don't
waste the ball. Oh, no. It'd be all right. All
right. I mean, we keep going. We're going to
find out who's the last of us. The actual game.
Let's see if we would win the battle. Oh, remove
two for the Kamalatov cocktail. Let's not forget.
Two and a cunning. I got a cunning. With my baseball
bat, I'll expend another durability, though,
so take away two more. Another one at it. And
you're shielded. And I'm shielded this round.
Nice. I am down to melee attack. We got them
down to 16, actually. It's halfway. More. That
is a crit. Nice. We're going to take another
one out of that. No, another Mike Cunning. I
believe it's your turn. I went. So did we. So
it's their turn. Oh, that's right. It's their
turn. I'm shielded, so I take no damage. I am
shielded as well. I am not. And then I do take
two more damage there because they got me. They
got you. artillery barrage did not get me they
got me as well they got me as well still alive
still alive that's the best that i can do oh
remove two for the molotov cocktail down to 12.
i'm gonna shoot him with a gun take away another
one oh shield thank god i got a might wisdom
so i'm gonna take those wisdoms off of there
i did not get a shield though Man, I really wish
Joel was alive to see us kick such ass without
him. It is because he has fallen that we are
able to kick such ass. We have rallied behind
the death. It was holding you back. There's no
way to dodge the melee attack. Not unless you
get a shield. Tommy dead? Tommy has fallen. No!
Tommy! Tommy has fallen to the ground. Bill,
it's just you and me. You've got to roll a hit
die to see if you get shot as well. Oh, wait.
Nope. Didn't make a difference. I took a couple
lumps. And did you shield on your last melee
attack? I did. Alright. What are you down to?
Six. I think I know who the last one's gonna
be. Is it Bill? Um... So take away two more for
the Molotov. I just expended my last fucking
ammunition in my assault rifle to do another
one. That's the best I got right now, bud. All
right. You guys have wisdom and cunning is left.
Only six fucking dice left. So I'm just going
to take and throw my Molotov. So I'm just going
to take one of these. Wait, you've had a Molotov.
You don't have a Molotov. It's not a Molotov.
Broken bottle. Just a broken bottle. Oh. Sorry.
I was like, man. Could have used that earlier.
All right. This is way better than I thought.
I didn't get hit. I didn't get hit twice. I'm
still rocking with one fucking HP. Bill, let's
go. Is this the start of the round? Or don't
forget to remove two. It's the start of the round.
Oh, yeah. We haven't yet. He still has to roll.
You don't know that. It missed me. It missed
me. And what damage did you take from the last
one? Oh, you threw a bottle. I threw a bottle.
So you got to roll a second attack die. They
got me. Down to four. This is it, Ellie. Take
two away. Fuck, we're down to three. Fuck. Oh,
shit. Here I come. Wait, isn't that broken now,
though? I'm coming in rocking with fists, bro.
I'm rocking with fucking fists. I crit. Get one
of those fucking things out of there. And I'm
shielded. Yo, I'm making it across the fucking
federal barrier. Come on, crit. Ah, nothing.
Nothing. You take two damage, dog, and then take
your shot die. I'm still at fucking one HP. Nothing.
I'm at two HP. Remove the last two. Oh, my God.
They just died from the Molotov. Holy shit. We
won. Ellie and Bill are the last of us. No fucking
way. Well done, gentlemen. Holy shit. No fucking
way. Yo. How did that just happen? Bill just
looks up and he just says, thank you, waste management
company. Fuck yeah. Goddamn. Crazy. Dungeon crawler
Bill. Yo, this is one of those things like. Yeah,
I guarantee you the more you play this game,
the more strategic you get about it. We get about
it as least strategically as we could have. We
went in. Granted, we lost because we lost the
two brothers. Yeah, we did not win. We did lose
the game. Riley and Mike won. Bill and Ellie
lost. Are there multiple boss cards? Yeah, there's
multiple boss cards. This game has a lot of replayability.
There's a lot of cards we didn't even get to.
There's a lot of cards that aren't even on the
table, so you shuffle through a lot. I can see
how this came. I'm ready to play again. Honestly,
that was a lot of fun. We may have to revisit
it. The rush of that finale was really good.
That was a big payoff. Also, now knowing what
you're going to get into, it totally changes
your approach to the game. The turn -based system
is just like, never in my life did I expect to
see 34 dice up there. I thought it was impressive.
You see the dice when you open the box, and you're
like, when am I ever going to use all these?
That's just insane. But you do. We cribbed it
a little bit for time. That is still a definite
possibility by the time you get to the end of
the game. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We cribbed
it for time, which means it would have gotten
harder. Yeah, absolutely. It most likely, yeah,
would have gotten there. I mean, honestly. We
didn't even max out the available slots for the
boss. No, no. And, like, honestly, like, if it
played without the way of fudging, like, we would
have hit it before it ever even happened. So
that's, like, you got to move through those.
The areas, the downtown lakeside, university,
suburbs, and sewers. Like, you got to move through
those. Maybe get one stab at each day. That's
it. I don't know. Or you take the opposite approach.
Like, you do everything you can to keep the boss
tokens down. True. You just don't take that extra.
There are benefits from, like, completely clearing
a space. True. Yep. And it also probably helps.
I mean, depending on. I mean, I don't know. Are
there. Like, does everything get upped? If you
have more players? Not once you get above three.
Just the group. Okay. So, yeah. Like, when you...
So, going into this with a full party of, like,
however many people... Six? Five. Yeah. Five,
six. Six. Six. So, like, six people, like...
I mean, yeah. There would have been another...
No, eight. No, seven. Sorry. Wait. There would
have been another... Because there's tests and
there's two more. Yeah. So, but... But then it
just gives you the options to get more things
done at each place. All it does is make the group
dynamic harder for each combat entity. But by
what? Two or three dice? Right, but you could
also spread it out. If only four people are involved
in combat, two other people could be searching
or doing whatever. Or using the campfire abilities
while the other ones use whatever. And still
have a chance in the interaction. To actually
do something. Even so, even though there's so
many more dice, though, depending on how many
people you bring in, the combat is easier with
more people. No, 100%. 100%. Yeah. And especially
if everybody's, like, conserving their ammo,
making sure they're ready and stocked and ready.
Like, planning your attack and planning your
way through the board is, like, after that one
playthrough is so huge. Like, you just really
need to... Yeah. It's one of those... You just...
You've got to play it more and more to get better
at it, you know, kind of deals. But I would definitely
love to try that again. That was a lot of fun.
This was a lot of fun. I feel like these magic
moments happen every time you're in the studio
here with us, John. Like, the end of... The nothing?
Grilling up murder? Oh, my God. Grilling up murder?
I made the kid at work listen to that one with
us, and I was just like... I was like... Because
we had so much fun with it. Everybody did voices
and everything. It was just a hoot, and he's
laughing. When Tim comes in as barbecue, the
kid Sean that works with me, he's like, this
is good. This is good content. And then John
comes in, he's like, Johnny Angel. I drink vodka.
And he's like, wow, you guys are doing pretty
good. Fuck yeah. All right. Still have yet to
see a paycheck. I was like, John made his choice
of who the murderer was and timestamped it and
didn't tell us. And he was just like, just wait.
Just wait, motherfuckers. And he nailed it. He
fucking did. Yeah. With that, thank you all for
joining me tonight and last time. Apologies on
my voice listeners. It's fucked. But had a really
great time exploring The Last of Us with you
all. Go watch the show. Fantastic show. Fantastic
games. Yeah. Watch the show. Play the games.
Like, do a service to yourself. Are there? Watch
the magazines. Watch the magazines. Go get an
8 -track. Dude. Buy the lunchbox. Get a Vimeo.
Yeah. You know, with the thermos and all that
shit. Anyways. Thank y 'all, the three of you,
for spending the night with me and playing this
game. Hey, thanks for having us. Absolutely.
Thank you, listeners, for being here with us.
And we will see you next, next Tuesday. That's
it for today's episode. We hope you've enjoyed
listening as much as we've enjoyed playing. If
you have, go run and tell all your friends so
that we can turn as many people into CritCats
as possible. Tales from the Crit is a Wolfbeard
Games audio podcast. And if you like us, please
subscribe and leave a review wherever you get
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page and our YouTube channel. Both of those are
at Tales from the Crit Podcast. All right. Bye
-bye. I don't know. I can't see the card. It's
very far away. It's 2 HP. I'm a little girl named
Bill. All right. I do like how my shotgun can
fire two shots. It is not a double -barreled
shotgun, though. Did you just read the boss card,
dude? No, I just read the front of it. Oh. And
I look at the back. Turn over now. It said now.
All right. What are we doing? Bunch of boobs.
No. I'm sorry. That's not that man. Oh, sorry.
I was looking at the wrong one. I'm sorry. I
was looking at the wrong one. I would like to
take Joel's bindings and wrap them explosive
to my chest when I go to battle. Spoiler warning,
people. No! Learn. Learn what happens. He dies
for a good reason.