Welcome, my little critters, to Tales from the Crit Season 2, The Level Up.
We're an actual play podcast with an ever-changing cast of players making our way through a
bunch of different RPG systems, from micro-RPGs to some of the more well-known role-playing
games out there, and the occasional highly narrative tabletop game.
Content warnings can be found in the episode's description.
My name is Riley Groves, and I am the Crit Keeper on this episode of Tales from the Crit.
Last time on Crit's on Pikes, me and the boys headed down to the local apartment building
and tried our hand at shoe sales.
Turns out, we're not that good at it.
And then, Andy came home just in time to break up Danny and Shelly's date and save the day.
After that, we took a really stupid educational tour.
But we discovered there really is secret tunnels underneath the Hotel Bethlehem, just like
Danny thought.
As you head towards the bookstore, you see several cop cars parked past it, near the
alley, and you can see that there are cops heading into the woods behind the school,
using the entrance that you guys would have used to get into the back of the bookstore.
Everybody give me some brains rolls.
Sixteen.
Oh, seventeen.
I have a plus one.
Ten.
Three.
All right.
Danny and Maxwell.
I'm Andy.
Andy and Maxwell, you see several cops making their way out of the woods, holding evidence
bags.
And Maxwell, you can clearly see a thumb in one, so can you, Andy.
And you guys can see that there are several pieces of yellow cloth, yellow and red cloth
inside the bag as well.
It looks like they found the thumb that Danny had.
Yeah.
And Danny, didn't you say that you found a yellow shirt or something?
I did.
I fell almost right on top of it.
Well, the police have it.
It's all in evidence.
God, I hope they don't fingerprint that thumb.
Are you in the system?
I think we all are.
Oh, that's heavy.
It's part of the weirdness of this town.
It might be hard to get a fingerprint off a different finger.
You'll probably be OK.
I hope so.
I rolled it rolled around in the dirt a little bit first, though.
You rolled around in the dirt?
I mean, I've done that too.
OK.
But, you know, like I said, fell when the beast was chasing me.
Rolled around, got trapped by Prickerbush.
Wow.
Tough night, huh?
Yeah.
Good thing you had that extra thumbs up for you.
So it doesn't look like the bookstore is going to work.
The other two places I think that he mentioned were the historic Bethlehem building and up
by the cemetery.
Maybe we should try one of those instead, where the police are or not.
Yeah, maybe the cemetery is a farther from the police and B, I don't know what to do
in the historic Bethlehem building.
Like, I'm not just going to start digging a hole in a floor.
Oh, I just thought maybe there'd be a basement and a hidden door like the lockers.
It is a bunch of like old buildings.
I was in there a night or two ago and saw some weird stuff that may or may not have
been there.
Again, I was being chased by skunks that day, so my memory is a little foggy.
That was a really vague description of what happened.
When I went on a self-guided ghost walk and, you know, going through the historic district,
I saw some apparitions.
But I think it's open and we can, you know, we didn't go through every one of the little
rooms in the basement, so we could go and knock around and see if there's any doors
or poorly constructed walls.
Sure, works for me.
Josh, you still have all that stuff in your backpack, right?
Did you hear that guy say the historical society only had four flashlights?
Don't you have more than that in your bag?
Probably.
You could own the historical society.
Especially with this crowbar.
Wow, you have a really small backpack and it really fits a lot of things in there.
Well, I keep it in here from when we had to break into the hotel last year.
Came in handy.
Smart thinking.
So off to the historic Bethlehem buildings.
Wow, that was a quick walk.
Yeah, the town's not too big.
You hear behind you as Billy's like walking, squatching up in his gigantic galoshes.
Oh, I did.
We definitely had time to get him shoes.
I keep forgetting.
That's okay.
These are nice.
Okay, how about quick trip home to get new shoes?
Then we come right back here.
Can't go home.
Nope.
I'm going to have to be locked in a room.
She'll probably forget once she sees Andy.
So she'll forget and remember a lot of different things and then who knows what will happen.
Classic distraction.
That's a later problem.
What do you think, Billy?
You want to suffer in these shoes?
I'm not suffering.
Look at all this space I got.
Okay, well at least we can hear you.
We know where you are.
It's like a two bedroom apartment in these babies.
I got room to breathe.
I bet they're going to smell great.
You don't even have socks on.
I do not.
I don't wear them.
They slow you down.
That's gross, Billy.
Your feet are going to be really smelly soon.
Well, whatever, man.
I made them all into puppets.
Your feet?
My socks.
Oh.
Anyway, you think there's like some stairs down to the basement or?
The entrance is actually over here on the side and it's at the, you know, ground level
going down into the garden level is what they call it.
Okay.
Is it unlocked?
There's no door.
You guys enter the garden level.
So you go around behind the historical buildings here and from the street you can only see
from the first floor up.
But when you go around, there is clearly another floor underneath that you can enter from the
back.
And where there didn't used to be a door, there does seem to be a glass door.
You can enter it.
There is like a basement floor.
We go in.
And then I guess I'll investigate to see if there's like a weak wall to break down to
the tunnels.
Is there just a tunnel?
Is it open?
I mean, no, there's not just a tunnel because yes, remember, otherwise people would have
been like, oh yeah, the tunnels there.
We know that forever.
So you will have to look for the tunnels.
So give me a roll, brain's roll.
Check is at a 10.
I only got a seven.
Is everybody looking for them?
Yeah, I'm looking for like, oh, Josh is going to go around and tap on the wall with the
well, everybody spreads out and looks and checks the wall.
We'll do a group brains check of a combined total of a 22.
I got a 10.
Six.
10, six, six and two.
That's a 24.
Yay.
Nice.
So did that first roll count for anything that I get in?
No, we moved it to a group roll.
So don't worry.
With all of your combined methods, it's like in a movie scene, the far, well, Billy's not
helping.
He's trying, but he's very clueless.
The four of you move down the different back wall, Josh tapping with a stick, somebody
wrapping on the wall and others looking for seams.
You all meet at the same spot, sort of right in the middle underneath the buildings.
And you can hear that the wall is hollower behind it than it is in other areas.
Can I use my treasure hunter skill to find a useful item to smash this?
Do you have an adversity token to use?
Oh, no.
Yes.
I forgot I need one of those.
Sorry.
So I mean, you could just roll for something.
You could roll to look around.
Is that brains again?
God, I feel like everything is brains.
No.
Oh, wasn't grit supposed to be like street smarts?
Yeah.
Give me a grit check.
I'm tired of saying the word brains.
So give me a grit check of a six.
Nine.
Oh, a 10 on the garden level.
You find like a bag of tool farmers tools sitting out next to one of the unattended gardens
that has a bunch of pumpkins in it.
A bag with gardening tools has a bunch of pumpkins in it?
Farmers tools, not gardening tools.
No, like the garden has pumpkins in it.
Sorry.
Okay.
Out in your garden that's got pumpkins in it, you find a bunch of tools.
Okay.
What tools are they?
There's a pitchfork, pickaxe, several small gardening tools, a set of shears.
Okay.
All right, I'm going to huck this wall down.
I'm not very strong, but I'll try.
Go for it, Andy.
Is this brawn?
I'm guessing.
This is going to be a brawn.
It's a brick wall, a very thick brick wall.
Let's put that bad boy at a 14.
I have to get 14?
I only roll a D4.
You can do it.
You can blow it up.
I got a one.
You hit the wall and the pickaxe reverberates through your hands and through your joints
and it hurts your elbows a lot and you drop that sucker right on your toe as well.
Oh, okay.
This was not a good plan.
Danny, do you want to try to do something here?
Yeah.
Let me pick that pickaxe up and give that try.
Is your foot okay?
Yeah, I guess.
Good enough.
All right.
Well, I've never used one of these before either.
You guys back up a little bit.
Before I swing this over my head, I'm going to feel around to see if it feels like any
of the bricks are a little bit loose or if it feels like there's anywhere where there's
a seam and I can feel air coming through where I want to try and hit that place in particular.
Okay.
I have a question.
Is it really dark in here?
Here, not really.
Oh, okay.
I was going to do a flashlight to see if I could help Danny see.
Oh, you do take an adversity token though.
I did.
Okay.
Still a 14.
And I'm rolling brawn.
Yes.
What's your brawn dice?
My brawn die is a 12.
Okay.
I got a five.
Okay.
You crack this wall with this pick and you do get a chunk out of the wall, but you get
very little else.
All right.
Well, it's a start kind of.
I'm just going to try it again.
I don't think I'll look over at Billy and Josh and Max.
No, I think I'm going to just try again.
Billy's just straight up picking his nose.
Billy, we can see you.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I thought everybody was more concerned with the wall than what I'm doing.
Well, yeah, I mean, you're just standing in the middle of nowhere facing the wrong way,
picking your nose.
So it's kind of noticeable.
Just keep your nose picking finger over there.
Watch out.
Stop bringing attention to it.
Here we go again.
A nine.
You hit the wall again, severing a chunk out of it and you hear a crack in the handle of
the pickaxe.
Oh, darn it.
Billy, why don't you just go stand next to the wall for a minute?
As he walks over, Billy trips in his galoshes and smacks his head on the concrete wall.
Oh, no.
Billy, those shoes.
Are you okay?
And he holds his head and you guys can see a little trickle of blood.
And as he gets angrier and angrier, this wall begins to shake.
Oh, no, Billy.
Something's happening.
Yeah, something's happening.
I hit my head and now I'm bleeding.
And then I just got these boots are cool, but now they've turned on me.
These are villainous boots.
Well, just just calm down.
You know what happens when you get angry?
Don't think about anything that might make you more angry like the fact that Jamie just
left you or anything like that.
Oh, Jamie.
She would have been sure I got my shoes back from that man, but now I don't have shoes.
I have these big rubber boots.
They're like boots on my feet, Danny.
If I fell in the water, I'd fall away.
My tears of sadness of the river I created from the loss of Jamie.
Now your feet would be dry from those huge glosses.
Jamie.
And you can give me a hug.
I'm really sorry about Jamie right now.
Yeah, I give him a hug.
You know, I've kind of gotten used to the hugs from my other sister.
Your other sister?
Yeah.
Yeah, Shelly kind of became my other sister when her daddy got to Guler.
Okay, well, you only have one sister.
No, I have two now.
I don't like that.
All right, I do.
Okay.
I'm feeling better.
So what do you think, Billy?
You feeling good enough?
You want to shake this wall down maybe?
Shake this wall down?
The thing I have my head?
I'll take the whole place down.
Well, I mean, we're in here, so maybe just get a little riled up.
Oh, yeah.
I don't always think about that when I'm mad.
Do I have a lot of blood on my face?
A little bit, and I'm going to use my sleeve to kind of wipe it off of him.
Thanks, Andy.
That's a little better.
He walks up and pokes the wall, and it's just like a vibrate, just starts to shake.
All right.
I'm going to set the check for this at a four.
I need you to give me two D4 rolls.
A one.
And a three, a four.
I'm loyal.
I can use a coin to do plus two to friend's rolls.
He got a four.
Yeah, I will say he'll be fine without that.
Okay, then never mind.
It won't alter the roll.
Then you can say shit.
So you put your finger on it and you begin to vibrate the wall.
And as you do, as you do Billy, your nose begins to bleed.
So you're bleeding from your head and your nose at this point.
And the wall begins to shake and shake.
And suddenly it just collapses under part of the building.
Oh, I think this is the total.
Wow.
Thanks, Billy.
We didn't get us in there.
Thanks.
Josh, do you have any butterfly bandages or anything first 80 in your bag there of goodies?
Give me a sec.
Let me look.
Also, while you're in there might be a good time to pass around some flashlights.
We've already established that I have flashlights.
Yes.
More than the historical society.
You have one flashlight out of the bookstore.
So you do have one flashlight.
You want me to use the tokens or a roll to find the look for bandages?
Let's use the token.
OK.
So I only need one for whatever.
You got the flashlights already.
I'm not going to make you spend anything for that.
But if you want to pull bandages out, you've got some gauze and some tape.
All right.
Yeah.
Here you go, Andy.
Bandage Billy up.
All right.
I will.
Someone want to hold a flashlight so I can see what I'm doing?
Yeah, I'll help you.
Oh, I haven't felt like that in quite some time.
Yeah.
How are you feeling?
Besides my head, my nose and my ego?
Bad.
OK.
Pretty bad still.
Well, just stay with me, I guess, Billy.
Thanks Andy.
Can I see your post-it note, Connor?
Way to be prepared, Josh.
Thanks Danny.
And you guys have an entrance into the tunnels, which are very, very dark.
And one flashlight now amongst five people.
So who's going to go first?
We could go together.
It's pretty wide.
That's true.
It's about as wide as a bus.
It's pretty big in here.
There's about as much room as in my glosses.
Let's link arms or something.
Everyone should have a buddy.
We're not trying to get lost again.
We've had that happen before.
So good idea.
Yeah, that's a good point.
OK, I'm standing next to Andy.
I'll hold Billy's hand.
It's clammy, maybe a little bloody, and he's squeezing so tight.
That's OK.
His hands are always clammy.
It's normal.
I'm going to hand the flashlight to Danny.
OK, you other two in the middle and I'll be on the other side here.
And I'll hold the flashlight, I guess.
Should we have the flashlight in the middle?
Whoever's in the middle has got a hand holding on either side of them.
Oh, yeah.
I thought maybe you could do it with your third thumb, but I forgot it's in the evidence
bag.
I thought the third thumb was in his pants.
Well, no, because he got rid of it.
That was something that I heard boys at school say before Dale's thumb thing even came about.
There's more people with third thumbs.
I think there's a whole bunch of them.
Fuzzy thumbs.
Does that mean there's more potential murders?
This town smells like thumbs.
Yeah, it's a good possibility.
The town's kind of weird.
I have seen that.
I hope we're all walking and talking.
Walking slowly and in unison.
Left foot, right foot.
Nope, the other other left foot.
Just walk in normal pace, Billy.
It's OK.
Josh keeps flat tiring Danny.
Sorry.
It's your turn.
We're going to take a quick break to listen to an ad for another show on the Wolfbeard
Games podcast network that you are sure to love.
Hey there, how's it going?
I'm Carl and this is my drive in movie theater.
Been running this place for 10 years now.
Business has been really picking up the last six months, which is great.
The first nine and a half years though, not so much.
Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie, get Josh on the radio and tell him to pay more attention to
trucks.
I just saw three kids up out of the truck of that blue boat of a cow in the army.
Come on, Josh.
Remind him what we've talked about, Julie.
Holy biscuits.
I wish I had the A team here tonight, but they're recording a new episode of their podcast,
Bad Music Theater.
And I can't be mad because it's a good show and those kids deserve to have fun.
They work hard, not like Josh.
I got to keep that kid on the ticket window or he eats all the popcorn.
And he thinks I don't know, but I do know.
I do know Josh.
He leaves marks everywhere.
I can track him with minimal efforts.
Why start and put more butter in the popcorn in the first place?
Anyway, you make sure to go listen to Bad Music Theater, a podcast all about seeing
if the movies you remember being your favorite still hold up.
I don't want to spoil anything, but the first episode is Rocky and Bullwinkle.
And that's a movie that I had never seen before.
I didn't even know it was a movie.
It's a classic TV show.
Why did they want to make it into a movie?
All right, I got to go.
Got a business to run.
Make sure to listen to Paramecia Theater, available wherever you can get podcasts.
I'm Carl.
This is my drive-in movie theater.
And remember that every spot is the best in the lot.
In the tunnels, where do you guys head?
Well straight at first.
It looks like it goes left or straight again.
The bookstore is to the right, correct?
All right.
Because that's where the footprints disappeared.
There's no exit prints.
Yeah.
So we want to try and find our way into there.
OK, so let's just keep going straight and then we'll take a right and that should bring
us to the bookstore.
OK.
Heading deeper into the tunnels, it's dark and very still and very quiet in here.
As you get further down the tunnel, you can see way off in the distance a very dim light
coming from where you would assume the Hotel B's vantage point is into the tunnel.
So you guys can see that far.
However, there is a tunnel on your right that would lead to where you believe the bookstore
to be.
So we believe that the light we dimly see is the light coming from the speakeasy.
I would assume that's what you would assume, but I guess I could be wrong.
That's what I would assume.
OK, so then I don't immediately say to turn off the flashlight and just OK, here's a tunnel
on the right.
Let's let's see if this goes towards the bookstore.
Man, this is so exciting.
This reminds me of that book, The Party Boys, those two brothers that always solve mysteries.
Two brothers.
Well, you got a lot more brothers here now.
There's five of us.
You really like starting families.
I don't think Andy's a boy.
Yeah, I'm a girl, but that's OK.
The family thing can apply.
All right.
I've never had siblings.
This is a fun idea.
Well now you have a ton.
Heading to the right, you guys get to a long cylindrical tunnel that leads up and has a
rusted ladder leading from the tunnel up to the building above.
Is the kind of rusted where it's just like visually rusted or the kind where you like,
oh, if I pull on that, I might fall out of the wall and we'll die.
It looks visually rusted.
It doesn't look like a death trap.
OK, so I'm just old.
Does it look like there's just like a trap door at the top?
Just like a square opening?
You're like, oh, you just push that up and then you're somewhere else?
Yes.
OK.
All right, guys, I'm just going to go up the ladder first here and you guys just stay down
there in case I fall down really quickly.
Be careful.
We'll try to catch you.
Andy will catch you.
She's big and strong.
Not strong enough to bring down a wall, but OK, Billy.
Don't need to don't mean to flex my own muscles here.
All right.
I'm going to send the ladder now.
Clink clink.
OK, it's a good 30 feet.
Oh, shit, it's a lot higher here, guys, than I thought.
Yeah, no, no, the lights disappearing up there with you.
I guess we should follow him.
Let's just wait down here a minute and see what happens.
I think we should see what he says or if it even opens.
So when I get to the top before I press the thing open, I'm going to pause and see if
I hear anything sounding like it's on the other side of the trap door or whatever board
is above my head.
And the scene is eerily quiet.
You don't hear anything coming from above you.
However, everybody at the bottom of the ladder, let's make me a brain's roll.
We'll call it a five.
Eleven.
Three.
Twelve.
OK, several of you here from down further in the tunnels, what sounds like a snarling
or heavy breathing followed by a large bump into the dirt floor and then another.
And they begin to get closer to you.
Up the ladder, guys, up the ladder.
We gotta go.
I'm going to make sure the kids get up the ladder first.
So you're last.
Yeah, Danny, Danny, open the door.
Let's go.
We gotta go.
And these kids begin to scramble up behind you.
Danny.
OK, and I press the lid open a little bit at first and then just right open as I see
them coming up.
OK, Maxwell, Josh, you both give me flight checks.
Seventeen.
Twenty.
All right.
You both have no problems getting up the ladder right behind Danny.
And then here comes Billy and his oversized galoshes.
And Andy, you're trying to help him.
Get up this ladder as well, because the shoes are just so big.
I'm mostly like pushing him up by his butt, you know, how you push kids up.
Yeah, I'm trying to do that and also get up.
Yeah.
Why don't you go ahead and I was gonna say Josh is going to try and pull him when he
gets out as well, like to reach back down.
OK, so you're ready for him when he comes up.
All right.
Billy, give me a brawn check.
He's not very big, so I'll make it a two.
I got a one.
OK, so you're you're struggling and he's struggling.
Josh, go ahead and you give me a grit roll.
Yeah.
Oh, boy, these all should be snap decisions, actually.
So because you didn't have time to plan.
So God, I don't really like how that works.
Yep, you can only use half of your like half your score.
So go ahead and give me a grit check, Josh, of an eight.
Is that eight?
I just rolled an eight.
All right.
So you're pulling Billy up.
Andy, now go ahead and give me your flight check.
You can hear the thudding getting closer and closer to you.
Give me a flight of six.
I rolled a five.
As you're climbing up this ladder from the darkness below, which is only very dimly lit
because Danny has the flashlight upstairs and there's only no there's no other light
in here.
Suddenly, the ladder begins to vibrate below you before you feel it getting ripped off
of the wall.
And you're just able to scramble up into the hatchway from the ladder as it gets ripped
from the wall.
And you're dangling there with your legs hanging over the edge.
Guys, there's no ladder here.
Andy, grab her.
Can I have spent a coin to give a plus two to her last roll?
Fuck yeah.
Yeah.
And as your legs are dangling there, you kick just enough and you're able to and you're
able to slide over the edge as the ladder gets ripped away from the wall.
And I slam the trap door down.
Okay.
And the five of you are in a small dimly lit room.
There's just one antique looking light bulb lighting up the room itself.
It smells of old wood and dust.
So we can't go back that way.
Maybe we should put something on this trap door.
I don't know what we put on.
Everybody stand run up for now.
It's a very small room.
I don't see much else in it.
Contrary to that statement, you do.
Where in the middle of a room in the room above a little dais, dais, dais, dais, dais,
dais?
Okay.
Above a little dais is a book and it's hovering about two feet above the dais.
It's bathed in a strange purple light, very dim, not giving off any actual light around
it, just making it visible.
Also you see several pairs of men's pants and shirts lying around as well.
There's a lot of items in here.
There's a floating book and pants?
Okay.
We should grab the book, I think.
I don't think we should touch that book.
I feel like last year there was a book and us not getting it closed or something was
delaying us, but I could be mistaken.
But the books are generally no good.
Was there a book?
I mean, I know there was a fake book.
He was reading the chant out of the book.
Yeah, there was a book.
We found that book.
You borrowed a...
Yeah.
I'm thinking of a different adventure with the book that we needed to close, but there
was a book.
I'd like to go see what the title says or if I can even read it.
The cover is comprised of a strange stitched together leather and although you can't make
up most of the words, you can only make out the author, Abdul Al-Hazid, and that is the
only thing you can make out.
Looking at the book without touching it, the pages that is open to are comprised of strange
glyphs that you can't make out.
However, there is one page, the left-hand page has also a picture of a large beast.
Although you can't make out exactly what it is, it does take up about half the page and
accompanying that is a picture of a strange ornamental dagger that looks like it is stabbing
into the page where the heart of the beast would be.
There's a dagger in the book or in the picture of the beast, there's a dagger?
There's a physical dagger in the book going through the picture.
No, sorry.
There's a picture of a dagger.
Oh.
In the book.
In the book, in the beast, in the heart.
Yes.
In a whole pharmacy.
And a frog in the log.
Yes.
The frog's on the second page.
I have a mechanics question.
I don't understand.
So, Andy is now an adult.
So I get a skill based on my career, which I don't have, but she's going into criminal
justice.
So I wrote that she's skilled at investigating.
Okay.
But I don't know how you play that.
Like, do I just roll a random dice that you choose?
I don't understand.
So for investigation, it's most likely a brains check.
So you'd add like a plus one if you were doing an investigation related brains check.
If you're just like fucking around looking for something, maybe it's not applicable.
Okay.
So it's just a plus one with brains when it applies.
Can I look at the book?
I'm not going to touch it either.
Yeah.
So brains check.
There's no need to do a brains check.
You can't make out anything more than what's described.
I might have got a dirty 20.
If you wanted to look at other things, you know, that would...
Oh, look at the pants.
Okay.
There are several pairs of pants, several shirts.
There's also a paper bag that says Pennsylvania State Penitentiary across the front that's
discarded next to all of these clothes.
No fuck.
There's also some, you know, discarded food cans.
It looks like somebody may have been using this space recently.
And there's a set of large boots on the ground.
Guys, wasn't Jim Tamber's brother getting out of prison?
I do feel like he was supposed to get out of prison.
Maybe last year?
Do the clothes look like prison uniform clothes or just like street clothes?
They're just street clothes and they're all pretty much the same.
Lots of just black t-shirts and denim jeans.
Okay.
So I guess if he was released from prison, why would he be hiding?
Well, if he came back to the town where he got arrested for...
Kidnapping, I think?
Something like that.
Probably not itching to show his face around a lot.
So he must be into the same kind of culty stuff as his brother?
Certainly possible.
I mean...
I mean, the kidnapping definitely makes sense.
It was a whole family thing, yeah.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
That doesn't seem great.
So if we all think it's a bad idea for me to pick up the book, what if we throw that
small crowbar that Josh has at it and try and knock it out of where it is?
Or try and like capture it in one of these pairs of pants and tie it up and throw it
over our shoulder?
Capture it in the backpack?
In the backpack, that would work better than the pair of pants, probably.
I think that sounds like a great idea.
The pants?
There's a bag.
That says state penitentiary.
Do we want to walk around with it?
It's a bag.
It is a bag.
Hey, Billy, do you think those shoes are going to be better than the ones that you're wearing?
Let's try these bad boys on!
And he takes off the galoshes and puts on the boots.
They're smaller in size, but they definitely do not fit.
Way heavier.
Insulated.
Insulate.
300 milligrams.
These are smaller than the galoshes?
The galoshes were huge!
Do these match the size of the footsteps that you guys were talking about?
What would I?
Josh, you've investigated these fucking footsteps.
They're footprints so many times.
These do look like they do.
Yeah, they look about right.
They have a similar tread as the ones that you remember.
Oh, God, I'm wearing monster boots!
Is there another door other than the one we came through from this building, from this
room?
Yeah, from this side, you guys can see a lever on the wall.
Did we capture the book yet?
I'm sorry.
We did not capture the book yet.
Can I just look and memorize what that dagger looks like?
Yeah, sure thing.
Memorizing it.
Okay, got it.
Okay.
I'm going to try to capture the book.
You said it was a paper bag?
The bag, yeah, there's a paper bag in here that says Penn State Penitentiary on it.
Nope.
You said there's black shirts around?
There's black shirts, yeah.
Yeah, I'm going to try and throw one of the black shirts on top of the book.
You throw it on top of the book and the book doesn't move.
No matter what you do to try to pull it, the book remains stationary where it is.
And the light's coming from it?
It is lit up, but there's no light coming off of it that illuminates the space around
it.
The only light in here is your flashlight and an old light bulb.
It's like it was sitting on a display case and there's a purple light above it, but it's
only in that one space.
And being so close to it, Danny, you can hear a very faint hum coming from it.
And that hum sounds eerily like some violin sounds that you've heard recently.
Yeah.
This is definitely a bad book.
It sounds like there's a very faint humming of violins coming from it.
And I don't know if you guys can see, but the shirt I threw on it is just floating there
and I'm trying to yank it out and no capturing the book.
The book captured the shirt.
It's floating over like a little podium thing.
Could I knock it over?
What, the podium?
Could I try to knock over the podium?
Yeah.
I'll try it.
Okay.
My brawn is not so good.
It's all right.
The check is at a zero.
I got three.
Yeah, you can knock it over.
It's just a little podium.
The podium falls over.
But the book is still floating?
Still floating.
Okay.
But the podium is now on the ground.
Maybe we're supposed to close the book, not take it, but just close it so it doesn't have
that spell or whatever.
I don't disagree.
No, I'm not necessarily saying touch it.
But if we leave it here, can whoever just start the spell again?
I mean, it doesn't really seem like we can move it either way.
Who's brave enough to try to close it if we want to try that?
Josh is gonna try and close it with the crowbar.
Like try to push it closed.
Any efforts you make to manipulate the book fall short.
The book will not close.
It will not move.
It seems to be suspended permanently in this space.
After three or four tries, he just whacks it as hard as he can and walks away from it.
Okay, the book remains unharmed.
Didn't Bailey have...
He didn't have firepower.
He had ice, right?
He did have ice, but he also had the burning hands.
I feel like he melted his bike the one time.
Mm-hmm.
Bailey, do you think you could cast fire at it?
Well, I'm still a little tired from that last earthquake, but let's see what I can do.
Bailey comes up to the book and starts rubbing his hands together real furiously.
They feel kind of warm and then he kind of just grabs onto the book and says, burn.
He's shaking, you know, he's trying to shake the book, but it's not really moving.
So his whole, like the rest of his body is moving.
Still a little bit drained.
No real fire comes out of his hands at this point.
He begins to bleed through his bandages though and his forehead and the book remains stationary.
Andy, it's not working.
I mean, I don't really have a lot of ideas.
Hey, Bailey.
Isn't that Jamie's sweater over there?
What?
Jamie was here?
I think, yeah, isn't that her sweater over there?
I don't want to see it.
I can't even think about Jamie.
First my burning hands don't work and now you're talking about Jamie's sweater?
Do you want to try to burn it?
Yep.
I'm going to rip this book down.
Okay.
The check is set at a 10.
So go ahead and give me two D4.
That's a one.
And another one.
You got to luck those D4s.
Billy's hands erupt in fire and then he is shot clear across the room and hits the wall
and he is knocked unconscious.
Oh shit, Billy.
Billy.
I'm going to run over and try to wake him up.
He's bleeding out both nostrils.
Okay.
I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt so I've ripped my sleeve off and I'm going to try to bandage
something.
Okay.
I wasn't expecting you to say nostrils, I guess.
Well, that didn't work.
It's funny, his boots are still up where he was standing and he is now barefoot again.
Oh my God, is he breathing?
He lost his shoes.
That usually means you're dead.
I'll feel for a pulse.
We have a pulse.
He is still alive, yes.
That's good.
Well, I guess that didn't work.
I mean, we definitely have to do something about this book, but I'm also starting to
wonder if Billy should probably go home and rest.
He should go home and rest.
We also don't know when...
The scarier adventure though, going back to your house.
When's the man with the pants coming back?
We should probably get out of here.
We don't want to get caught.
Should we take all his pants?
We should definitely take all of his pants.
Yeah, absolutely.
Then he'll know someone's been here and then he'll be looking for us.
I think he's going to know.
Looking around at the broken everything.
The podium's knocked over, all kinds of shit.
Podium the door, the ladder.
Yeah, that's a good point.
We're definitely taking the pants.
And the shirts.
I mean, at the very least, it's hilarious.
And we'll know who it is because he'll be naked.
I don't think we should put those boots back on Billy.
No, I think we'll just leave him barefoot for now and then we'll just put him in the
car and bring him home.
I'm just going to tie these t-shirts around his feet.
Good idea, Danny.
That'll save him from stepping on some rocks out there or something.
It'll keep him warm.
A little bit.
Keep him warm.
He'll get sick with bare feet.
Okay, what do you do?
Besides the feet thing, we can move past that.
Anything else around his feet?
All the pants.
We're getting these pants out of here.
So we're just going to leave the book?
Unless you've got another idea, I don't think we have any choice, Josh.
What about the car?
What about my car?
Could you hit the book with your car?
Maybe that'll move it.
I mean, how would I get the car through the tunnel and up the ladder that's not there?
Are there any like, uh, unlit candles in the room?
Are we on the ground floor?
I don't know if you'd know.
I guess you would know you're on the ground floor because you went up the ladder out of
the tunnels.
Um, there's no candles.
No, this is a book store.
I'm going to pull the lever.
Out of the wall opens and you are looking into the bookstore.
Are there police?
There are not police inside the bookstore now.
All right, guys.
Well, we are indeed in the bookstore and there was a secret room.
Man, they have really bad police in this town.
Oh, what's on the other side of the latch?
What did we not see the last time we were here?
Um, a tunnel in the block.
No, there's like a latch on the inside.
And I'm saying like, I want to know what's on the other side.
What's the mechanism we pull the next time we're in here so we can get into this room?
Got it.
Gotcha.
Upon investigation, it looks like this is a one way door opening.
Exit only.
Well, we can't go through the tunnels again.
That was scary.
Something's definitely down there.
I don't really want to spend a lot more time in there, but I feel like we're probably going
to have to.
Yeah, I guess we don't want to find it until we have that knife from the book.
Yes, I was thinking the same thing.
Well, I guess we got to just lodge one of these bookshelves in this door.
Come here, you two young men.
Let's push this big shelf or display or some large thing so that this door can't close
on itself.
Oh yeah, I'm carrying Billy, I guess.
And as you guys are trying to manipulate things around the room to lodge so it remains open,
all five of you begin to hear the sounds of a violin.
It's erratic and intriguing.
Erratic and intriguing.
Do the rest of you guys hear that?
I do hear that.
I also hear it again.
This has never been good for us guys.
It kind of sounds like screaming worms, but I'm curious about it.
Where is it coming from?
Is this what you heard before?
I don't know.
Is this what you heard before Shelly's eyes started rolling around in the yard?
This is exactly what I heard.
Oh, good.
Also, what we heard before I fell in the woods and found that thumb.
And in my dream.
And as it begins to fall to night, the streetlights begin to flicker.
And out on the corner, you can see a person standing alone.
There's a young girl standing underneath this streetlight that's beginning to come on.
And as the violin music intensifies, seemingly from all around you, suddenly you see the
twins standing behind this girl.
And as you're watching, one of them grabs her and another plunges a dagger into her
chest.
And as the light flickers on and off, it goes off.
And when it returns on, all three are missing.
Okay, I definitely saw that one.
Like I didn't really know if I believed him about the bonfire.
But yeah, that was weird.
You guys all saw that too, right?
Yeah, we just witnessed the murder.
Yeah.
They keep doing that.
I know I ask this too often.
Is now when we call 911?
The violin music begins to crescendo, getting louder and louder, seemingly coming from all
around and you hear a guttural roar emanating from below back into the tunnels where you
came from.
And that's where we're going to end this episode.
Monster in the basement, twins outside, please murder outside of the police station.
Cops are not good at their jobs.
No, they're really bad.
They're standing right there.
How can you possibly miss that?
We'll find out what happens next time on Tales from the Crit and we will see you next next
Tuesday.
Tales from the Crit is part of the Wolfbeard Games podcast network.
We hope you've enjoyed today's episode and if you have, please subscribe and leave a
review wherever you get your podcasts.
To stay up to date on any news about the podcast, follow us on Instagram at Tales from the Crit
podcast.
Check out our YouTube channel with the same name and most importantly, tell a friend.
Getting a new dice.
I've just rolled four threes in a row.
And that's what I rolled last time with this dice.
This one's got to be a two.
Lots of manifesting happening here.
Yes, the book that we needed to close is actually in our regular game when you guys were underground
and there just kept being fire burning in that one little haunted village town where
they traveled down into the tree.
Yep, yes.
I was like, God damn it.
I did not rewrite an adventure.
Whose name's on another page.
So Zachariah Sitchin.
It's frog leather.
I thought it was just going to be skin.
Just fucking human skin book.
I think I found Dale.
He's a book now.
Oh, we should have put the thumb with it.
How did I fucking call it, man?
I just wrote that shit down on that post-it note.
That we were going to need fire?
I just gave it to him moments ago when I borrowed his post-it note.
He did.
Well I did just save the day.
Nope.
Who the fuck was that?
And in my dream, you're unconscious.
What the fuck grew there?