Welcome to a very special episode of Tales from the Crit.
This is unlike any episode we've done before as we're doing this one live.
It's not actually live. We're recording it and we're not editing anything out at all.
And we're gonna do a murder mystery and I have a bunch of people at the table that I need to
introduce. I've got Mikey. Hi. Rebecca. Hello. Tim. Hi. John. Hello. Anna. I'm here too. And
Renee. Hello. For the first time Renee is joining us. Maybe she'll die. Hopefully she won't,
but maybe she's a murderer. We don't know. We don't even know who she is. Wow. Guess I can't
pause that long. This is live. So we're gonna dive right into it and we're actually going to
be playing a game called Murder on the Grill. It is a murder mystery party game by University
Games Corporation out of San Francisco, California. We're not making any money,
so don't sue us for using your stuff. And so I guess to start off we're gonna jump right into
it. We're gonna do our character introductions. So starting with Mikey. Actually, disclaimer
quick. If there's any weird noises, it's because we didn't edit this. So just be prepared for that.
If that's not your cup of tea and you can't deal with that, maybe move along. Till next week. Now
back to Mikey. I am Ivan Spudnik. I defected from Russia to come to America 18 months ago. My English
is getting good. I moved to Kansas City because I read about it in book I bought in the Russian
black market and Kansas City sounded like the perfect place. Blue skies, friendly people and no
KGB. My new home is just like I hoped it would be and I like it much. In Russia I was a rocket
scientist, but now I am not. Thank you. Thank you, Ivan. And Rebecca, who are you playing? Well,
I'm Tierra Diamond, Tom Dooley's fiance. We were planning to be married later this year,
but Tom's death has changed all that now. I can't believe he's been murdered. I recently won the Miss
Kansas City beauty contest, beauty pageant, whatever, and am about to compete in the Missouri State
competition. My twin sister Hope is so envious. We look the same, but she's a lot smarter than me.
Now I can finally show her I'm somebody too. Just before I became engaged to Tom, he offered me a
fabulous contract to promote his car dealership if I won the state beauty pageant. Everything was
going so nice. Too bad he's dead. All right, Tim, who will you be playing? I am Barbecue. I bought
the house next door to Tom after I divorced my second husband, Norton, six months ago. Norton was
a real creep, but he had lots of money. So with my alimony, of which I deserve every penny, I've been
able to live comfortably without getting a job. So sue me. It's very lonely, though. No one wants to
have a divorced woman at their couples parties so I don't get invited out. Like, I'm going to steal
somebody else's husband, right? Don't get me wrong. I would be married if the right man came along,
but we'd have to be somebody special like Tom was. Thank you, Barbecue. You're welcome. John,
who will you be playing? Well, hi. Yeah, I'm Johnny Angel. That was born and raised on a farm far from
Kansas City. Well, not far from Kansas City, if you're from where I'm from. I'm a mechanic,
the best. Nobody knows more about Chevy engines than me. I worked for Tom Dooley at Honest Tom's
Car dealership. And let me tell you, there are no dissatisfied customers in my repair shop.
Bobby's my girl, and I take good care of her now that her brother is dead. Oh, Bobby, honey,
you don't have to worry your pretty little head about nothing. Johnny Angel's here.
All right. All right, Anna, who are you playing? I got to keep remembering that I can't edit things
out. So I think laughter is okay. We can still break character and like, you know, no fun, man.
Yeah, right. Straight fucking business. As long as we keep the story going, you know. All right,
Anna, tell us who you're playing tonight. I don't really need to introduce myself. I have the number
one hit on music trots, a little ditty I personally wrote called Twistin' Baby. It's also started the
number one dance craze in America. Everyone's heard of me, Chubby Cheddar. I'm originally from
Kansas City, but I make my home in the Big Apple now where I record songs under the Toon Time label.
Tom Dooley has been my best friend since we were kids. We grew up hanging around the pool
hall together. I'm sure gonna miss his sorry hide. All right, Renee, who will you be playing? Hi,
my name is Bobby Saks and I'm Tom Dooley's half sister. Tom is 15 years older than me. His father
died before I was born and his mom got married again a few years later to my dad. I was born
shortly after. When I was 10, both my parents were killed in a tragic accident and Tom raised me.
All we had in the world was each other. Last year, I won the National Hula Hoop Championship. As the
winner, I got to appear on lots of really neat TV shows. The Jack Parr Tonight Show and The Lucy
Show. Since then, it's been my dream to move to Hollywood and become an actress like Doris Day.
And I'm Dan Dragnet. I will be starring in a new feature film next fall as a homicide detective for
a big city police force. I've been doing research with the Kansas City Police Department for the
past month to learn how real detectives handle investigations. I have arrived with the police
when they were called for Tom Dooley's murder. And if you all don't mind, I would like to hang
around with you for the next few hours as a part of my research. Who knows? Maybe I can solve a
real murder before my movie is shot. It would be great publicity. All right. And I'm also Peggy Sue.
I write a gossip column for the local Kansas City Tribune under the name Runaround Sue. It's my job
to keep track of the celebrities coming to town and to write about them. You know, rumors, who's
sleeping with whom, who got that part in a new movie and stuff like that. I am a very persistent
lady and I usually get the truth out of people. I was invited to Tom Dooley's cookout, but due
to a pressing matter, I arrived too late. Tom's body was just being loaded into the ambulance
when I got here. I offered to stay with the group and use my investigative talents to help
solve Tom's murder. All right. I guess next we're supposed to play this audio, so we'll do our best
to make sure this comes over. Everybody pay attention. Welcome to Murder a la Cart, a series
of murder mystery games, a murder on the grill, side one, Dazzling Dan's introduction. Hey there,
guys and dolls. This is Dazzling Dan the Music Man coming to you from the most happening place
in the Midwest, Kansas City, Missouri. It's a hot day in July 1959 and a great time to be alive.
Hula hoops, hot rods, rock and roll America. We love you. I'm broadcasting from the posh home of
Kansas City car dealer Tom Dooley. He's invited a few friends and neighbors over for a backyard
cookout and rock and roll party. I'm here to handle the vinyl and spin the 45s. You all came here to
have some good rockin and enjoy Tom's fabulous cooking. As you know, Tom owns the coolest car
dealership in town, Honest Tom's. And when he's not dealing wheels, he's at home doing the other
thing he does best, flaming a hot charcoal grill. Tom's a master at the cookout. At least
he was until today. I'm sorry to report someone iced him today. That's right. Poor Tom Dooley
took it in the chest with give me a break a barbecue fork. The fork pierced his heart and
he bled to death very quickly. Here's the scary part. One of you did it. Yeah, I know. Oh, very
uncool chronologically. Here's how it went. The party was just getting jumping and suddenly a
thunderstorm came out of nowhere. You all ran indoors to get out of the rain, but Tom stayed
out at the charcoal grill tending the meat. The storm blew over after about 15 minutes. When you
all came back there, Tom was lying down on the job beside his grill with a barbecue fork sticking
out of his chest. Oh man, that must have hurt. The ambulance came, the cops came, the neighbors
caulked. It's been a zoo for the past couple of hours, but everybody's gone now except for you
folks, Tom's friends and family. The local police chief has asked you to stay here at Tom's until
their investigation is complete. The detective in charge will be back shortly. So here's what I want
you to do in the meantime. Who's got the answer to this mystery? The cold hearted murderer has to be
one of you. There was nobody else around during that thunderstorm. Believe me. So get your heads
together and solve this thing. Do it before the cops get back. Then we can get on with the party.
By the way, did I tell you I'm available for wakes and weddings? Dazzle and Dan the music man. Oh
yeah. Before I sign off, why don't you all introduce yourselves and let everyone know who you are?
I told you that was supposed to go first. I'm literally reading the instructions as they're
listed. It says introduction. Let everybody introduce themselves by saying what the world sees
to play the audio track featuring dazzling Dan. That's backwards. They should change that. That
is backwards. Anyways, that's how we got to where we are now. So now we're going to move into the
first part of round one, which I guess is the first dialogue of the actual game. So let's go ahead and
hear what we all have to say. Potential murderers. Well, at least the police have left us alone for
a while. Although I do love a man in uniform. So Johnny, why'd you kill poor Tom? Hey, that'll be
the day. I've got grease under my fingernails, Bobby, but my hands are clean. Though I ain't so
sure about that Russian Rocky man over there. Niet, I do not kill him. I leave Mother Russia to start
new life in America. Hamburgers and rock and roll. Not killing. To me, it is little sister who looks
all shook up, yes? How dare you? I loved my brother. He was like, well, like a brother to me.
Everything was peachy keen until Barbecue wiggled her way into the picture. Don't play sweet little
16 with me, honey, underneath that phony pout. You're nothing but a little ghost digger yourself.
Things just keep twisting and twisting. Now I've been observing Miss Kansas City over there.
Tierra looks like a pretty woman, but maybe she's really a devil in disguise. You know what I mean?
Don't be cruel, Chubby. Everyone knows I would have done anything for my time. Anything. But you,
Mr. Big Shot Singer, would stop at nothing to get to the top. Even cold-blooded murder.
Tierra, baby, you're not going to win Miss Congeniality today with that attitude.
Well, I'd rather lose a beauty pageant than be a grease monkey, Johnny. If you're no angel,
you hated Tom. You all did. You all did, and one of you killed him.
I still got a creepy feeling about Ivan the Rusky over here. Artists like myself get a six cents.
Frankly, I don't think words artist and chubby cheddar belong in the same sentence,
although Twistin' Baby is a really neat song.
I know what I think. The police will be back soon to continue their investigation.
So now we should ask each other questions. Try to find the killer ourselves, yes? Okay, I will start.
Okay, I will start. I think that maybe perhaps you had something to do with the murder. Chubby
cheddar. As I recall, Tierra was with you before Tom, and they were fooling around behind the back.
Maybe you've never forgiven your best friend, as you say.
Well, I mean, sure, when Tierra first left me, I was hurt. But, you know, you get over it. I'm a
celebrity now. I got plenty of women looking at me. I don't need to worry about what Tierra's doing.
As for what happened to Tom, you know, what comes around goes around. He did stab me in the back,
but now somebody else got stabbed. In the front.
In the front.
I don't really have anything to accuse you, but I didn't do it, that wasn't it.
I don't know if you saw what you think you saw. You've been drinking this whole cookout.
Some nasty Russian booze that makes you really mean and nasty.
Absolutely not. This is Russian vodka. It's very good. Not the terrible vodka like you Americans
have. No, no, no, no. You can drink Russian vodka all day. Stay happy. It doesn't make you mean or
wanting to fight. You've been fighting this whole time.
Well, Bobby, you have the most motive of all of us. You're Tom's only living relative. Meaning
you'll get the car dealership and the house and all his money. Pretty big reason to kill somebody.
I don't know, Tierra. I have this letter here to reveal to everyone. It is a diary entry written
about a month ago. I think you discovered something about Tom. Discovered and moved on.
How did you get my diary? It has something in here about your twin sister Hope. I think you
mentioned her before. Yeah. At the end it says, I'll kill him. I forgot who she was. Sorry, what
did you say? Your twin sister Hope was sleeping with Tom. Well, I was pretty angry about that,
but he's apologized and we moved on. Bobby Sox, you seem to be acting a little
indifferent about this mention of an inheritance. Do you happen to know what Tom's estate is worth?
I don't care about his silly estate. So you haven't contacted a lawyer?
Nope. Never considered what you might do with that money? Money's not important to me.
Because you have so much of it now that your brother's dead.
I don't know why you're interrogating this poor, poor woman. You should be pointing your finger
at Tierra Diamond. Excuse me. Everybody knows that this pressure has stirred her in a nervous wreck.
This afternoon I saw her ransacking through all of Tom's dresser drawers and all of his
clothes and she seemed very agitated. Maybe she's snapping from all of this stress from killing
Tony in an uncontrollable rage. Bobby, that is a wild accusation. You don't even know what you saw.
My name is Bobby. Is that not what I said? Too close to that other guy. Well, anyway,
I know you had the hots for Tom and I know he rejected you. Maybe that made you crazy mad.
If you think that Tom rejected me, you're dead wrong. There were plenty of times that Tom said,
come on over. I'm open late. And so I did. But he said he was working late and he was.
He was working over this sexy body.
So, Barbecue. Wait, what was Peggy Suit? So, Barbecue, do you want to tell me more about these
liaison that you had with Tom? No, that was between me and my lover.
Sounds like it's between all of us now.
Sounds like there was even more going on between you two than anybody knew.
News to me. I think we should bring our attention back to Bobby over there. See, Bobby hated her
brother Tom. He wouldn't let her do anything, you know, except work at the car dealership.
I feel like she just wanted to be free and out of his control. But, you know, do you think she'd go
as far as murder him? I think maybe. I mean, he had no right to keep me from following my dreams.
I guess that makes kind of sense. But I didn't want to bring up one other thing, and that's
Chubby. I saw you when you got here. You you had a real thick envelope. And I don't know what was
in it, but he stuffed it into his pants pocket. And then he was murdered. But I get there was no
envelope there in his pocket. What the heck was in that? And why do you think he was in there?
What the heck was in that? And why do you think it did have something to do with him being murdered?
Oh, that was nothing. Tom just, you know, I owed him some money from a business deal. And that's
all that that was. I have no idea after what happened. He took from it. If he if he was murdered
and someone took it, I imagine we would know who it was. But, you know, Johnny, I know that Tom caught
you and Bobby making out last week. And he tossed you on the street. I heard that he warned he would
do something if you came near his little sister again. Listen, let me tell you something. Nobody
tells me, Johnny Angel, what to do. Tom never threw you out. Tom never threw you out into the street.
He wasn't man enough to do that. Threw me out into the street. Sorry. Threatened the first person.
Let me try that again. Tom never threw me out into the street. He wasn't a big enough man to do that.
Not what I heard. I heard he said he was kill you.
That's malarkey. Mr. Cheddar, do you mind if I search your persons to see if this missing
letter may have fallen into a different pocket than you remember putting it in?
I got nothing to hide. I pat vigorously Chubby Cheddar's butt cheeks to try to find a letter.
They don't call me Chubby for nothing. I didn't think it was at the back of you.
Thank you. Well, that is also funny. I also have this document here. However, it is
not as illegal action against honest Tom's car dealership.
Excuse me? It resulted in a serious... You did a shoddy brake job on a car.
A shoddy brake job? There was a serious accident and you are being sued and you are getting fired from the job.
Me? Johnny Angel? Get fired? I think maybe with all of this going on you are looking more like
very angry at Mr. Tom. Where did she go? Where did she go?
Yeah, well, let me tell you something here Mr. Spudniks. Your car was a piece of junk. An old
jalopy piece of crap. I tried to fix the brakes on it but it wasn't my fault that old heap was beyond
repair. Yeah, John Dooley should have believed you when you told him the accident was... I should
have believed him when he told me it wasn't my fault. So there's the answer to that.
I am just saying perhaps all this coming together makes you look more guilty than some of us.
Malarkey. Tom was just a bully. Oh man.
I think it's enough of you trying to push your foreign affairs onto this hard-working American.
Kansas City seems like a very odd place for a rush of rocket scientists like you to settle
after defecting into the U.S. Are you us a sort of secret spy mission?
Me? A spy? No. It seems like you are trying to steal jobs away from hard-working American men
like Johnny. What kind of dummy would think a spy would be operating in Kansas City? Maybe stealing
a barbecue secrets barbecue? Well I'm gonna check his pockets.
He's really in there. It says to really go in there. Okay.
All he had was a flashlight and something fleshy. Something fleshy? Let's focus more on that second
part. I did a flashlight? There same thing. It's rocket tools.
I don't think you have any room to talk barbecue. During the past month I know
during the past month I know the local police have been driving real slow by your house.
What's going on in your place that makes the police so suspicious of you?
I like to sit outside in my lawn chair in a yellow bikini and it does result in more than
the average number of police car drive bys but you know boys will be boys. I think that's a
sorry excuse. It's kind of more of a reason. Why get all sore weird in here? No one else dresses up
in yellow bikinis to please the boys to drive by. I just want to throw a disclaimer out there. I am
confusing my two characters back and forth as to who's doing and who's saying what. I don't think
it's going to matter in the long run so just go along with it. My my my my the things you people
have been up to. Are we having fun yet? Johnny Angel such a heavenly name for a black leather
jacket wearing mechanic. Johnny you did such a great job on Ivan's car. Why it almost made it
once around the block. Could it be you rigged his car to deliberately crash or maybe you're just not
as good a mechanic as you claim to be. As my mama used to say if it ain't broke don't fix it baby.
And Ivan Tavaresh. Comrade let me see you used to be a communist rocket scientist. Now you defect to
Kansas City of all places but you're not a spy. You have to forgive us Americans for being suspicious.
You know with the cold war and the space race we have a tendency to mistrust you iron curtain types.
Although you do produce a good vodka man that stuff has a kick but I can see you already know
that. Let's hope you can hold your temper better than your drink Ivan. Bobby the hula hoop champion
and wannabe actress. Condolences kid. Your big brother excuse me half brother was like a father
to you or maybe you feel he was more like a jailer. After all you're young and easy on the eyes and
you dream of going places. You're tired of hanging around the car lot and of course you don't care
about money. All you care about is having fun and appearing on TV shows. Que sera sera whatever will
be will be. Right kiddo. Now I have a confession to make. I love reading someone else's diary don't
you. People are so candid in them. Now Tierra you certainly sounded peeved at Tom and that diary
entry of yours. I mean your fiance fooling around on you and with your own twin sister. Shocking.
But I forgot you kissed and made up with Tom. To know him is to love him. Oh I just love happy
endings. And Mr. Twister my boy Chubby we play your records all the time at the radio station.
W H I T where we bring you all the hits. Yes you're on top right now Chubby. I guess big stars like
you always carry large sums of money around in envelopes. Sure why not. And you're not hurting in
the adoring fans department either. Especially with the chicks. They're going gaga over your dance
moves. So what if Tierra dumped you. Old news. I agree man. Barbie funny how women feel so insecure
around you divorced ladies. Can't understand why. You'd think they don't trust their husbands or
their fiancees. But hey it's good to know you still got what it takes. Practice practice practice.
Keep up those front yard tanning sessions. I may just change my driving route home after work.
Well I'm of a mind that there's a whole lot more big juicy details to come out of this mystery yet.
Talk it over and I'll be back in a flash. Stop tape until the start. Listen you lady.
Thank you Dazzling Dan. Man oh man so Barbie doll's been playing me tender with honest Tom.
Folks the hits just keep on coming from this little lady. Chubby do us all a favor and shut
up. I want to hear what Tierra has to say. She seems to have how does it go. Heartaches by the
number and troubles by the score. Well Tierra. As I've told you all before I love Tom and he loved
me. But Chubby you couldn't accept that and I think that's why you killed my fiance.
No no. It's a stupid motive. I haven't spotnick understand much about people.
It is a man like Johnny. He's dangerous. He's mad. He's a man like me. He's a man like you.
He's dangerous. He's not a teddy bear. He is a hound dog. Soon he will rock the jailhouse.
Well Ivan things are different here in America. We have blue suede shoes and hula hoops and a
system of justice. And justice is something you'll learn about when you do time for killing my brother.
So Bobby baby when you talk like that I know you're the girlfriend me
and I promise I'll never hold you back like Tom did. Johnny I got a hand to you. You're cool man.
Real cool. Too bad you're gonna feel the heat in the electric chair.
No Chub. I think it's you who's gonna be serving our time. But maybe you'll be able to limbo your
way out under that prison bar. Americans you're all crazy. But you Chubby you're crazy like a fox.
You can tell me. You can tell me. It is now or never. You killed Mr. Dooley yes?
Oh shut up and have another vodka Ivan. You know where I come from. We all have suspicious minds
and I'm betting it's Ivan who'll be pounding hard rock around the clock. Maybe back in a Russian gulag.
Well my feeling is that Bobby's not telling all she knows. And I and to think she was almost my
half sister-in-law. Likewise I'm sure. Look are we all going to ask more questions or what? I'll go first.
Chubby you were arguing with Tom during this barbecue. It sounded pretty serious.
Oh that wasn't nothing serious. We were just having a lively discussion about rock and roll.
Tom was saying that it's just a passing fad but you know rock and roll is here to stay.
But I heard that you and Johnny were planning to elope tonight. Tom found your packed suitcases
and a ladder. So how are you gonna get away unless you might have solved your problem by
getting rid of them? Yep that's true. We planned to elope tonight and Tom found out but it doesn't
matter because sooner or later I would have gotten away from my brother's prison.
But wait it does matter. As Bobby you are a minor and you'll be committing a crime unless
if you marry Johnny. Wow you'll be committing a crime if you marry Johnny without any parental
or guardian consent. Well I think Johnny's the one committing a crime but sure. It's the 50s.
It's the girl. Oh yes Bobby you slut. Listen oh wait no hold on listen hear me out.
Hear me out.
Well I have something that's gonna solve that chubby problem once and for all. It seems that
chubby is a fraud. He did not write his own lyrics. He lip syncs his music. He can't even sing. Tom
knew this and was blackmailing chubby for the money chubby made from his records. And for
listener context here is an immediate release music scandal of the decade press release to all radio
stations. And chubby just how big of a fraud are you? All right sure nobody's perfect. I didn't
write my own songs and maybe someone else was lip singing for me. So you couldn't sing us a verse
right now? Not in my life. And what about that new crazy dance craze you're going over? Well you know
I was paying Tom to keep a secret from me but you know the dance craze is all me. That's those my
hips. You can do the dance? Oh yeah. Let's see it. Well I got this letter here from Barbie. Chubby
Cheddar the rising star of rock and roll is a phony. Chubby whose hit songs Twistin' Baby,
Limbo Low, and Shakin' Shakin' have all made it into the top 10 of the pop charts. You cannot sing
a note. He's been faking it all this time. Unbelievable as it sounds Chubby Cheddar has
been lip syncing all his hit songs. The songs were originally written and recorded by a musician
named Buddy Hollow three years ago. Tragically Hollow was killed in a boat accident before his
songs could be released on a record label. Chubby Cheddar bought these recordings from Hollow's
mother Miss Forest Hollow of Deep River Connecticut shortly after Buddy's death and she can prove or
she can provide evidence of Cheddar's deception. Chubby Cheddar has managed to hoodwink the music
world ever since. His fans will be shocked and his career will be ruined. And then there's a footnote
mind you. Chubby the day you stop paying me is the day I send this press release I drafted
to every radio station in America. Your old friend Tom. Thank you for reading that Dan.
You certainly do have a face for radio. No problem but that was Peggy Sue. Thanks Peggy Sue.
Sometimes you sound a lot like Dan. Well yes I guess it's time to come clean.
He was blackmailing me but I wouldn't kill him. I don't know what the letter says.
Barbie I saw you slip into the kitchen and make a phone call.
I heard you say that someone already called Dooley and he was double crossing and you
were going to kill him too. What were you so angry about? I was just really upset that no
one wrote out any sort of answer for me to read. Well I'm not sure why we're not stating the
obvious here. Johnny why do you have a streak of blood all over your shirt? Is that Tom's blood?
Yeah yeah right. You know this blood can come from other places too.
Yeah it's my own blood if you must know. While you were working, while I was working earlier today,
I was working on a car and this stupid damn wrench slipped and hit me in the stupid schnoz.
It caused it to bleed a lot and I just wiped it on my shirt.
And you didn't even change before the party. I didn't have a lot of time there Barbie.
Nope. I mean sorry Tiara. All these accusations. And speaking of, you've changed so much in the
last few days. Everything about you, I mean like personality, hairstyle, you used to be like warm
and easygoing but you're like cold and shit now. You're like calculating like a witch.
You even shed a tear over Tom's death. What is going on?
Listen I might have changed a bit in the past few days but it's for the better.
I am taking control of my own life and I am my own person. Tom has been too dominating.
All right well I guess since we're on the point of his accusations,
I guess I just have to ask Barbie one thing. Hey Barbie, you've been spending a lot of time
around the dealership haven't you? And I think maybe that you and Tom were doing a little naughty
naughty behind some closed doors. You want to maybe elaborate why?
What Tom and I were doing in his office is only the business between me and what I've already
shared with his wife Sierra who is already upset so I forget. Did I want you to be more set up with
me? No you shouldn't be upset with me. It's none of your business Johnny Angel what we were doing
in that office. But what is our business Johnny? Is that switchblade you've got in your back pocket?
I'm gonna need to have that as it is an illegal weapon and as a honorary volunteer police officer
and detective on the weekends I will confiscate that. Excuse me just because you have a switchblade
doesn't mean I did any stabbing with it you know. Like I it was a barbecue fork that killed
Dooley not not this knife. Just because I like can use a wrench on a car doesn't mean I kill
people with wrenches. Doesn't make me like a killer or nothing. Perhaps not but it would make us all
feel better if you would give me that switchblade and then allow me to frisk you deeply. I think I
want to hold on to it if if I have an option to. What if the killer is here I could defend myself.
What if the killer is here Johnny? That's what I'm saying the killer probably is here I don't want
to be able to defend myself. But I knew who the killer is because I have this strange check
to Ivan Spudnik for a hundred thousand dollars. That's a huge chunk of change. That's gotta be the equivalent of 13.4 million dollars by now.
Tom he hired me he knows I work with rocket engines in Russia. He want me to design a special
rocket engine for new hot rod he wanted to build. His dream was to set land speed record and establish
his reputation with the racing crowd. The 100 000 dollar check was just to buy parts and run tests on
equipment. That is all. Well that's a lot of money for that. I think this man is too stupid to do
anything like that. I think the real problem here is Johnny who carries that switchblade and his leather
jacket pocket and he's very good at using it and with that skill I think the words out of his own mouth
was that he could have used the barbecue fork to kill Tom with quote unquote no problem.
If we've been over this with the switchblade I told you it's I could be murdered you can murder
with anything you can swing but it wasn't me. Smoke it like a murderer.
Take the switchblade if you want if it's a big deal you'll see there's nothing on it.
Give it to Mr. Dragnet. He gave the most convincing argument about how he was Dan and not Peggy Sue
because I could tell by his voice.
I think Tierra also may have had something to do with this. The ambulance attendants put Tom on
the stretcher and in their hand Tom's hands was your diamond engagement ring. Why did that happen?
Well I might have thrown my ring at him last night during a bit of an argument but I don't know why
he was clenching it today. Maybe he just loved me. Tierra Peggy Sue here may I see the engagement
ring if you do have it? No I don't have it Tom had it.
It was clutched in Tom's hands when they died unless Ivan stole it. I didn't know such thing.
I do think Ivan had maybe another motive for killing Tom as well since he was awful friendly
with Tierra recently. It's obvious he wanted him for his own her own his own. I think Tom was in
his way so you killed him. Chubby from the sounds of everything tonight you are imagining things.
I think you are still in love with Tierra and you think that every man is after her after what Tom
and her did behind the back. I already told you that being a celebrity I get plenty of women.
Oh from what I hear you may not be celebrity much longer. Well yes that would be difficult to get
over. But I'm still hot. Perhaps Bobby who is remaining silent. You disappeared from the house
for a short time during the thunderstorm. You could have snuck to the backyard to kill Tom.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I could have snuck to the backyard to kill Tom while he was cooking. We were all inside staying
nice and dry. I did leave during the thunderstorm. I went to my bedroom. I was calling one of my
girlfriends. I wasn't anywhere near the backyard when Tom was murdered.
Maybe so.
After seven years in the music biz I thought I'd seen it all. But I was wrong. You people have
shown me the light at the end of the tunnel. And look out. It's a train coming. Let me see if I've
got all the juice. Barbie you were overheard on the phone saying you will kill Tom Dooley. A double
crossing skunk you called him. Pretty strong words to describe a fellow committee member to the
president of the country club. Was that really who you were talking to? And just what were you and
Tom up to in his office behind closed doors? Well too late to ask Tom isn't it? Now Chubby you've
got a whole lot of problems going on. I can't believe you didn't write all those great songs.
And you don't even sing them for real? Man our radio station is going to drop you like a hot
potato. Rocking the world. I'm going to be a rock star. I'm going to be a rock star. I'm going to
be a hot potato. Rock and roll may be here to stay but Chubby Baby you're history. Ivan our imported
space cadet. You've gone from building rockets for Sputniks to designing a rocket engine for Tom's
hot rod. What were you planning to call it? The Sputford or maybe the Chevnik? Whatever it is
you've scored big time. A hundred thousand American dollars equates to a lot of Russian rubles,
right? With money like that a man could buy a ton of engine parts and still have enough moola left
over to impress our decadent western babes. Too bad Miss Kansas City was not impressed but then
Tierra's already got a man. Was that the real obstacle you had to overcome? Johnny you say the
blood on your shirt was caused by hitting yourself in the nose with a wrench. Of course ace mechanics
do this all the time. That's how monkey wrenches were invented don't you know? Hey even radio jocks
are occupational hazards. Just the other day I cut my finger on the edge of a 45. It can happen so my
advice to you is to be extra careful carrying that switchblade of yours around. Remember keep the
blade pointed down. Now Tierra you threw your engagement ring at Tom last night during an
argument and you think he held on to it to show you in his dying moments that he loved you truly
deeply. Sweetheart baby you're reading way too many romance novels. Get a grip but then you've
been acting differently the past few days. Maybe you'd already made the hard decision to kill your
philandering fiance and we're just waiting for the perfect moment. And last but not least little
sister Bobby you tell us you just happened to be on the phone talking to a girlfriend at the exact
same time your brother was murdered but no one saw you. Bobby there's absolutely no doubt in my mind
that you're telling the honest truth. No doubt at all. None. Not a bit. Nope. None. Zip. And even if
your elopement plans with Johnny fell through you would have gotten away from your nasty brother Tom
somehow. Yep I think we're nearly to the end of this gig. As a matter of fact I'm pretty certain
I know who did it. That's why they call me Dazzling Dan. But seriously just a few more questions from
each of you then I'll let you take a stab at who did this dastardly deed. Stay tuned. Stop the tape
until the end of round three. Yeah guys I'm pretty sure I know I believe I know who did it. It's been
crystal clear from the start. The engagement ring was in Tom's hand. Looks like Ciara decided to say
bye bye love permanently. Oh sure Johnny a symbol of my fiance's undying love makes me guilty of
killing him by carrying a switchblade in your pocket is what normal behavior. I'm so disappointed
in you Chubby. You didn't write any of your hit songs and you can't even sing. You're like the
great pretender. Wake up and smell the boys everyone. Comrade Spudnik just cashed the check
for a hundred G's. Plus he may be making a move on Ciara. It seems like Ivan wants to have the whole
world in his hands. Nonsense. I have explained these things for Ciara. I have no interest. She's not
like Russian women. She's the wrong shape, the wrong size. Don't worry Ivan because you're entirely
the wrong species for me. Feeling a little heat Ivan? Now ain't that a shame. Of course I can't
say I blame you for falling for Ciara. She's like poetry in motion. Yes sir. You my chubby friend
will soon be singing your heart out to the police. The more I think of it you and Ciara are two of a
kind. She's got the personality of a purple purple purple people eater and you could be Mack the
Knife. I think you're in it together. Yes and Bobby you know I love you but where are you really?
Where were you really when Tom got iced? If you go to prison it's over between us baby. Breaking
up is hard to do but I can't wait forever. You're no earth angel Johnny with your blood stained
shirt but I want to know why Barbie nope what Barbie was really doing with Tom behind those
closed office doors. Taking care of business honey. Just taking care of business. Let's get on with
the questions. My turn. My first question starts with you. Yes you Bobby. When the police investigated
the murder scene this afternoon I discovered that they discovered a torn piece of your dress
caught in a sharp corner of the barbecue. Oh well I rushed over to help my brother. That's what that
was. I discovered him lying on the ground. He was bleeding. I must have caught it on the barbecue.
Well then how did the rest of us not hear about it until 15 minutes after we went inside to get
away from the thunderstorm? I'm guessing it had something to do with the shock of the event.
So you got nervous that your brother died and decided not to tell anybody. What is happening?
This is great and I don't believe you Bobby.
Is it the same dress that you have on?
I don't haven't had time to change. Where is the rip?
The tear. Where is the tear? The tear. About thigh high? Do a twirl.
Spit it baby. Guys remember she's a minor. Oh well I know. That's more of a her problem. It's
1950 now. Wait are you like a coal miner or? Well what nobody knows is I rushed out to find Tom lying
at the barbecue. I put my ear to his mouth to see if he was breathing and I heard with his dying
breath he said Ivan. Strange I know a way that we can recreate this. Chubby please lie on the ground
where we found Tom's body. I don't feel right doing that. He's the closest one to his size.
It's the only thing that makes sense. Thank you Barbie. You're welcome. I will then gently
compress with enough force to make air expel from your chest and we will listen. I changed my mind.
I want to be the body. Compel the air from my chest. You got a willing victim. Preferable.
All right Tiara. No Barbie please lie down on the ground. You can call me Tiara if you want to.
Mr. Dragnet. You can't call him Tiara. Her Tiara. Some of you, one of you please just lay down on
the ground. I'm already down here. Why are you waiting? Touch my chest compress my breath.
Did anyone hear the name Ivan? Ivan horny for you Mr. Dragnet. Sorry, sorry. You see I knew it was
impossible. Tomas have already been dead from extreme blood loss when his body was found.
Tiara is simply imagining whispering my name with whatever wasn't a dying breath.
I insist we have one more test Mr. Dragnet. Yeah I guess no Ivan.
Well Chubby asked me a strange question last time I saw him. He said if Tom was out of the picture
would you come back to me? Now Tom is dead. Well I was just teasing you darling.
I have no interest in getting back with you. Now you burned your bridge a long time ago.
Don't seem that way. Well what about when the thunderstorm struck? It was you that ordered us
all inside. Maybe you were setting Tom up to get killed barbecuing that chicken. Well I'm sorry I
didn't want everybody to die in lightning storm. Tom insisted he stay behind to cook the chicken.
That's your story. That's the true story. I have another true story Chubby. After Tom's body was
discovered and before the police arrived I saw you Chubby hiding a thick envelope in the trunk of
your car. It must have been the envelope he gave Tom earlier. Your blackmail payoff and you had to
kill Tom to get it back. Well I didn't have to kill him it was right there on the ground when we
came back and I figured it was my money anyway I might as well take it back. Maybe I could invest
in some singing lessons. You need more than lessons. You know of accusing people Barbie I have this here
little bit of information that I'd like to just share with you. It appears you had a little bit
of a lucrative career of fencing stolen cars for Tom. Apparently he was your best customer but he
double crossed you and I feel like you're hot for revenge. Here's this note scribbled out here on
this piece of college eagle paper. It says Mr. Dooley since me and the boys will be doing business
with you now instead of dealing with through barbecue I want you to understand my rules.
One you tell me what car you're looking for the year the make and color spelled K-U-L-L-U-R
and I deliver end of story. There's no changing your mind after. You pay me number two you pay
me when I deliver no credit deals the price of the car depends on what you want and how much
trouble my boys have to go into finding it. I'm negotiable. Three you ask no questions.
Four I need a minimum of two weeks to deliver no exceptions. Five no Edsles? I don't do Edsles.
Six remember you don't know me and I don't know you. Seven you broke my rules you break my rules
and I break your head. You got it? Your new partner auto steal. P.S. Tom you should think
twice about your dis-huston decision oh decision to quit using barbecue as our go-between. She's
pretty smart for abroad I never had no problems with her. Sorry that was so hard to read it's
written very poorly and not good spelling. Well Johnny it sounds like that evidence is written by
an entirely different person than me though it does mention me at the very end of it which is
confusing I don't know anything about what's happening there. Are you sure Barbie you don't
have anything to do with this steal guy? It would never hold up in the court of law after Tom double
crossing you well he was murdered before I had a chance to talk to him and it was probably just a
misunderstanding. So you admit that you had something to do with Tom's car's fencing?
It's true I'm an entrepreneur in the shady business of physics stolen cars. Tom Dooley
was my best customer. We weren't making love he had a tiny anyway he put in an order for a special
making model I don't know how you do it Tierra seriously and you would arrange for it's car I'm
sorry I would arrange for his delivery through my connections to several car theft theories which
were very big in considering the comparison to sorry Tierra so on my head is small through your
connections to several my connections springs on the Midwest it was lucrative until Tom double
crossed me. I knew it. I should probably get a lawyer. Yes and actually that brings up another
thing because lawyers are expensive and I have a feeling Ivan did you embezzle that hundred thousand
dollars Tom had put up for that rocket engine? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't
know how many hundred thousand dollars Tom had put up for that rocket engine. Yeah I feel like I've
heard stuff about you setting yourself up back in Russia for the black market yeah I heard you
bought large quantities of toilet paper blue jeans and bras and making a huge profit selling
And I think Tom found out.
Is that true, Ivan?
I came to America to be a capitalist.
Tom's $100,000 was temporarily invested in a few commodities to sell in Russia.
I was planning on returning Tom's money to build the rocket engine.
Unfortunately, the men had no patience.
Yeah, see, Ivan, that's not how we do things here in the good old U.S. survey.
It's called embezzlement.
And I have a feeling that would give any roosky a reason to kill somebody.
Not embezzlement. Investment.
I think you're getting your words confused. Your English isn't too good.
Yours is very good, Johnny.
I believe that you are not a mechanic at all and that you are working undercover for the KGB.
And that is why you are no good at fixing cars.
Johnny, you are here to take me back to Russia and put me in Gulag.
And Tom found out and he was going to tell the CIA and that is why you killed him.
Yeah, like anybody's gonna believe that, Ivan. Even myself. Come on, a Russian spy? Get out of here.
Or perhaps it was barbecue.
When the cookout started, barbecue was carrying the barbecue fork around like she was planning on using it.
But you never helped them cook in the kitchen.
So, in hindsight, why did you have the barbecue fork?
Well, that's a great question. And the first answer is that we never cooked inside of the kitchen.
We were outside of the grill.
So, checkmate, Mr. Russian Spy.
And there's also a good explanation as to why I was carrying it because Tom lost his fork, so I went to my house and I got my special fork for Tom.
And then I gave it to him and that's about it.
Well, I, Peggy Sue, have a question about that.
Could you use this rolled up newspaper and simulate the way that you were walking with it towards the grill when Tom was standing there?
Very menacing, Tiara. But really, I'd like Ivan to play the bad guy or the dead guy, Tom.
I'm very uninvested in whether he's good or not.
I was so excited about being the dead body.
Here you go, Ivan. It's the right here.
Okay, this is where I will be a dead person.
No, be alive first.
Oh, I'm still dead. Yes. Yes.
No, Bobby. Bobby. God, Bobby, you're alive. You walk with this newspaper and see if it's the correct angle that Tom got stabbed.
And, Ivan, you stand at the grill and cook the chicken.
I see. Ivan is Tom.
Here I am cooking the chicken under the grill.
Pretend it's this newspaper.
Oh, look. It's barbecue. My car fence.
That's so funny. I never thought about that.
Barbecue. Cookie barbecue. That's so funny.
Now, how did you...
Someone really thought that out. I'm going to take this newspaper and stab, stab, stab.
How did you kill Tom? Show us how.
Yes, I said, I guess I would say, Tom, die. And then I would stab him. Stab him.
Right in his chest. I'd raise my hand and look at me with his innocent eyes. Because this man did nothing wrong to me.
We were legal business partners. We were best friends. He was more of a brother to me than Bobby, who's his sister.
But you were sleeping with him.
That was all a red herring.
It looked like what? A red herring?
It was a red herring. It was all a lie. So no one knew I was fencing cards, but I already told that part.
So I guess I would look him in his innocent eyes. Even though I love him so much like a brother, unlike Bobby.
We've run over this. So then I'd say, stab, stab. A lot of times.
That's good enough. I'm convinced that you're not the one that stabbed him if you did it like that.
However, I would be remiss if we didn't go back for the reader of the Kansas City Tribune. What's that about you being a KGB?
I just...what?
Yes, you're a KGB agent working undercover for Russia.
Do you have a license to kill?
This is ridiculous. I don't know. What do you mean, a license to kill? That's malarkey.
What is your exact mission here in America, then?
I don't have a mission here in America. I'm American.
That's exactly what the KGB agent would say.
What other espionage activities have been going on that you involved?
I couldn't divulge in that. I mean, I have no idea what that would be. You guys are sounding like a bunch of McCarthyists.
Who is your handler, spy?
Alright. It's true. I'm a KGB agent. I'm here to take Ivan back to Russia.
But the CIA already knows that, and they've sanctioned my mission, so there's no problem with anybody finding out or turning me in. It does no good.
I will not go back.
Oh, they've both got guns.
And the, uh, yeah.
Every time I try to go in there, it's so funny.
That's what he said.
Did Bobby have a question?
Actually, I got a question for Bobby, because I have a secret clue that I will reveal now to everyone at the table.
It's a letter to Bobby from a television studio offering her an acting role. However, she's a minor, so the studio needed her legal guardian's name on the release.
Tom would not sign it, so Bobby was ready to kill.
Well, I did need his signature.
I wanted that acting role, and he was ruining the chance of my lifetime.
Johnny wasn't even invited to this cookout.
I know that you love me. You're crazy in love with me.
Yes, if you're talking about that, I guess it's time for me to come clean with you. I mean, I was going to say that I was going to make sure Ivan got home, quote unquote, safe, and that he had some, quote, friends waiting for him.
But, you know, it's cats out of the bag, you know, dogs out of the kennel now.
He's, you know.
Can we still go to Hollywood?
Of course.
Well, I mean, after I finish my very important KGB mission to get Mr. Ivan back home.
I do not want to be a Russian rocket scientist anymore. I want to live here in America, blue jeans and apple pie and hamburgers.
Sounds like you got plenty of that waiting for you when you get back from all that money you embezzled.
I embezzled nothing. I'm a capitalist now, no longer communist.
Well, comrade, I'm about to embezzle my fist into your face.
Tierra, you have a big secret that you haven't told anyone here tonight.
Don't you do it, Bobby.
I know you told Tom, and it impacted your pageant con- wait.
Your pageant contestant contract.
Well, I was mad at Tom for what he did, but I never could have killed him.
I mean, I loved him. And, you know, if you know my secret, then I guess it's out.
I can finally admit I'm happy to be having his baby.
That's right, she's pregnant.
Whoa.
Are you supposed to be pregnant because you're married to- we were, he said. I'm sorry.
Well, we weren't married yet. We were just going to say the baby came early.
Oh, like he did.
Well, I suppose.
Tom was definitely holding me back from my dreams.
He forced me to work for him at his car dealership and wouldn't let me do anything fun.
But I didn't kill him to escape his control. I didn't need to. Johnny was helping me get away.
We were going to elope, get married, and move to Hollywood where I could start my acting career on TV.
I truly have no interest in my brother's estate, although I guess the money would help me get started in California now.
Tom Dooley has been squeezing me for money to the point that I'm nearly broke.
I gave him my last blackmail money today, 50 big ones.
I had no intentions of stealing it back, but after he was murdered, I found the envelope on the ground and took it.
After all, it was my money. Maybe I'll invest it in same lessons.
I really have no interest in getting back together with Tierra.
I had accepted that she was Tom's fiance, and now, even if she wants to, it's too late for her.
Well, the cat's out of the bag. Not Johnny Angel's, not me. My name's Sasha.
Tom Dooley was upset about planning to fire me of the repair job I did on Ivan's car.
No big deal. My job there was just to cover so I could snatch Ivan and take him back to Russia for KGB.
The blood on my shirt is my own, not Tom's. That part is true.
I didn't plan to fall in love with Bobby either during my mission here in the US, but it happened.
Now that she's all alone, I will take her back to Russia with me.
When she learns to cook, borscht, and clean my dacha, she will make good Russian wife, I think.
Tom was a sweet guy.
Although our relationship was just business, and occasionally a romantic night.
I'm sorry, Teresa. I lied to you earlier. We totally did.
My name's not Teresa.
Is it Tierra?
Yeah.
Why don't you have S's in your name? It's so confusing to be named after a piece of jewelry.
I'm named after meat.
I could have gone for him in a big way.
I don't believe he was really double-crossing me in our little car venture.
I never got the chance to discuss it with him before he was killed.
It must have been a misunderstanding because Tom needed me to make the operation work.
I'm so happy for your child. That you're with child. That you're pregnant. Warm fuzzies. Warm fuzzies.
Well, thank you. You know, I love Tom.
He may have had a problem with being unfaithful to me, but don't forget, he was clutching my engagement ring when he died.
It really proves that he loved me.
At least now I'll have this baby to remember him by.
If it's a son, I'll raise him to be just like Tom.
Except for Tom's bad habits.
If it's a girl, she'll be a future Miss Kansas.
Of that, I have no doubt. I'm in control now.
Future Kansas is such a weird name.
I'm not going to name her that.
I'm sorry, Miss.
I am not a Russian spy. I am a capitalist.
I have temporarily invested Tom Dooley's money in a venture that would make millions of Russian rules.
Tom just had to be patient a little and he would have gotten his rocket engine.
I know rockets very good.
I would have built for him an engine that would set new speed record, for sure.
He would be shouting my name with pride instead of whispering it in his dying breath.
If someone passed the vodka, I have made big thirst.
I'm glad to hear those statements by each one of you.
Now I guess there's only one part of business left.
Who? Dunnit.
I think the murderer was Chubby.
Because Chubby had already lost everything.
Everyone knew that Chubby was a fraud.
Couldn't sing. None of the songs were written by Chubby.
And the blackmail had gone so far that now there was also no money.
So desperation.
Well to that I would say I think Barbecue did it.
She was being backstabbed by Tom in the illegal car business.
And anyone could have grabbed that fork as well as Barbecue bringing her own over.
Highly suspicious.
Guys ready for this? Oh wait no this is me now.
This is me now.
I think it was Tiara.
But Tiara is not Tiara. Tiara is Hope.
The twin sister.
Who was jealous of her and Tiara's relationship and said if I can't have him no one will.
And I bet if we look around we find Tiara somewhere.
Man I thought they were the twins.
That's where I go with it. And I wrote that down at 8.19pm.
I see right there. Thank you.
Wow. Timestamped.
Bobby. We all know that it's you.
You told all of us that you found Tom first.
And that's why there was a piece of your torn dress on the grill.
You wanted him dead because you didn't.
Because if you would not I would treat you as an adult and would incite you to enter the Pageant.
No one knew that you found him before the group went back outside.
Who wouldn't yell for help after finding their dead brother? Who Bobby?
You wouldn't because you are obviously the killer.
Well I agree. I think Bobby was the killer.
Not only all of that but with Tom out of the picture she gets all the money.
She could sell the dealership and start her business out west.
And that gives you hope?
I forgot I even had a sister.
Oh damn.
Because you killed her.
I believe that it was Sasha.
You have had much training from the KGB how to kill a man with anything.
Whether it is a barbecue fork.
You had just enough time before we all ran inside.
You could have killed him easily.
And with him out of the picture you would have gained the love of young Bobby.
She might not have been able physically to kill him.
But you of course could and the two of you would run away back to Russia.
Well I, Dan Dragnet, believe that it was Barbie.
I believe you were losing your way of life by getting cut out of the sweet automobile fencing job.
And the very way you said STAB earlier is what really convinced me.
STAB.
That's exactly how I said it. I said STAB.
Very convincing.
I am a detective on TV.
And I, Peggy Sue, do believe it was Chubby.
For almost the exact same reason.
You were losing your way of life and you'd do anything to remain a celebrity.
And I know about celebrities.
That's mighty bold of you.
I am a bold woman.
Dazzling Dan, tell us the answer.
Well Rock and Roll fans, it's been an entertaining time.
But as we say in Radio Land, all good things must come to an end.
And finally the moment of truth is at hand.
You've all had your say about who you think the murderer is.
Now I'm going to let the cat out of the bag.
First ever, the killer of Tom Dooley, the heartless cold and unmerciful villain,
the doer of many other bad deeds, and lastly, the great pretender,
is none other than Miss Kansas City herself, Tierra Diamond.
Oh, fuck.
Actually that's not exactly true.
You see Tierra is not here with us today.
She's resting quietly at a private sanitary...
No way. Are you kidding me?
What?
What the fuck?
How did she do that?
What did she do?
She did what she did when she stabbed poor Tom Dooley with a barbecue fork.
You see, cruel Tom Dooley's antics towards twin number one, Tierra,
pushed this meek, mild-mannered girl over the edge,
causing her to have a nervous breakdown, freaked out totally,
in step twin number two, Hope.
Remember the drastic personality change in the past few days?
Hope, unlike her shy sister...
What it was.
...she was a little worse.
This evil twin had no qualms about solving her sister's problem
by dispensing with the two-timing Tom.
But not before she handed him Tierra's engagement ring,
which she'd taken from Tom's bedroom dresser during the thunderstorm,
and scolded him for lying to Tierra about having an affair with her,
as if she ever would.
Hope is no loser, and definitely not on her dance card.
May he rest in peace.
God damn it!
I knew it!
You've got to fucking kidding me.
As soon as...
Okay, so it was in the beginning, the twin sister thing,
and I was like, that's interesting.
That discussion we had about her being different looking,
hairstyle changed, attitude changed,
I was like, oh, there it is, right there.
And I knew from that moment, I was like, it wasn't her, it was her sister,
and it was because something happened, I don't know what it was,
but I knew it was like a, if I can't have you, no one will, death.
And the reason she was able to do it was because,
why would he suspect that she was going to murder him?
She didn't have to overpower him, all she had to do was just be like, oh, hi.
God damn, man, the fucking KGB agent got it.
I'm trained, you know.
I would accuse you of cheating if I had given you any details about this game,
but I didn't tell anybody almost anything.
Oh, I tried too, I was like, yo, can I see the script?
I want to be prepared for this, like, I want to be ready.
You're like, just show up.
Yep.
Bring wings.
Fuck.
John did bring wings.
I thought you read my booklet.
No, I honestly, there was only one time when I read ahead,
and it was just when it was on the opposite page,
and I didn't mean to, I was like, oh, it said stop there,
but like it literally gave no information away or anything, but.
John's been cheating this whole time.
It's true.
I can read through paper.
Fuck.
That was a hell of a lot of fun.
Yeah.
That was.
Thank you guys for getting together.
Good job, everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was fantastic.
I know it was a little different than what we usually do, but had a lot of fun.
Glad we could have our voices reach your ears on Halloween.
Thank you guys again.
If you aren't already subscribed to our podcast, do that wherever you listen to your podcast.
Download that shit.
Tell a friend.
Follow us on Instagram.
Follow us on YouTube.
Do all that good stuff.
Go visit Whale Belly Food Truck in Hudson.
Thank you.
Johnny brought his fucking chicken wings tonight, and you can get them there,
and you don't want to miss them.
They're fucking fantastic.
But until next time, where we will do our regular stuff, we will.
See you next next Tuesday.
And happy Halloween, critters.
Bye.